ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 15th January 2024

Episode Date: January 14, 2024

Producer Jared's Fro Yo  Producer Shannon's Holiday  Top 6: Missed during Holidays  Silly Little Poll!  Hayley's Smut  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Good morning, welcome to the show Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. We're back. Happy New Year. With a brand new season.

Happy New Year, brand new season. Yeah, despite all efforts. We're back. Yeah. Wow. You're here. Despite. Yeah.

Now is this season 20? For you two? For us it's're back. Yeah. Wow. You're here. Despite. Yeah. Now, is this season 20 for you two? For us, it's season 20. Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy. And have not been cancelled or renewed. Don't tempt them. Don't tell them to check the archives.

We've had a few writer's strikes, but. Yeah, of course. Still going. Everyone looking all bronzed? Which is lovely. Yep. And you've got glasses now. Yeah, I know.

They're a bit glary, aren't they? They are glary. It's hard to look you in the eyeball. I got three pairs. Okay. Okay, so I got this pair, this pair. Because you accidentally shoplifted one. We talked about that.

Yeah. But then I took it back. Yeah. What can I say? I still shoplift. I. We talked about that. Yeah. But then I took it back. Yeah. What can I say? It's all the rage for shoplifting. I hold all my portfolios. But then the other ones were more of a mature look.

And then I got home and I put these ones on, which I just always plan to wear around the house. These are my work glasses. Yeah. Working man's glasses. And Shardo's like, I like those ones better, but I didn't pay for the anti-glare lenses. Remind, taking me back to 2006. Oh my God.

Of course you didn't pay for the anti-glare lenses. Remind, taking me back to 2006. Of course you didn't pay for the anti-glare lenses. Did you think when they said, do you want to pay? I've got more grown up, smart ones, and I paid for the anti-glare lenses than them,

because I'm like, those are the ones that are, and then everyone's just like, oh no, those ones are better, so I'm just like wearing the glare ones. Well, you've got to go and get the anti-glare,

because look at the lights. The lights, all I see is like little sparkles. How much, Charlie, is the anti-glare? I just might put some Duracell on them because it's almost back to school time,

so Duracell's probably going to be on sale. Those like stickers that you put over windows to be frosted. Yeah. You could put those on. Oh, yeah, yeah. Those opaque bathroom ones. Yes. Or the strip you put on a ranch ladder

so Nan doesn't walk through it. Yes. Yeah, that'd be good. You know those privacy screens people have on their iPhones? But like that, we peer-pressured our friend James yesterday to peel his off. Yeah, he does be good. You know those privacy screens people have on their iPhones? We peer-preachered our friend James yesterday to peel his off. Yeah, he does have one, eh? It looks like Duracell. Yeah, well, now I just feel like...

But he's got secrets to keep. Well, that's just what he's saying. No, we're not keeping secrets this year. Nude photos. Are we not? No, no more secrets. Right. They'll eat you up on the inside, will they?

They will. And they'll grow like a tumer. Any secret shopping You're keeping from Aaron Early in this year? Nope Nobody told me yesterday What did he say?

He knows We had a frank discussion About how sneaky women Think they are But how much of a blind eye Would just turn to it Because he can't be bothered Arguing with them about it

Yeah yeah I've had this t-shirt for ages Yeah Are you crazy? Yeah That's gaslighting. Yeah, yeah. It is, it's gaslighting.

It is. Wow. We've got two weddings coming up, though. We do, yeah. What, am I going to wear the same dress I've worn once before? We're going to talk about one of these weddings in our silly little poll today, because you've got a bit of a conundrum. Yeah, I need an outfit for one of them.

Yes. And I have questions around it. And we are back from break. We need to talk soon about what producer Shannon did on her holiday break. The youngest member of our team. The youngest member had the oldest holiday, you would say, soon on the show. The top six as well. Yeah, the top six things we missed talking about over the break.

Things that happened that we didn't get to comment on because we weren't on the radio. We're going to cover those in the top six. Producer Carwin messaged us all in a group, didn't she? And she said, can I have some hot photos from your holidays? Now Fletch climbed an effing volcano and you're swimming with the toadles and whatnot or the stingrays. And then me and Vaughn were like,

there's a picture of you. I think you're on the farm or you're up a mountain. And then I had a picture of an ice cream. I found a duckling. You did, yeah. Literally the highlight of my holiday was this ice cream. Yeah. And we were talking about ice cream because Fletch wanted to talk about a story he found

about a woman who called the police because not enough sprinkles were on her ice cream, right? Which is a crime. That's a crime. It's a crime. That's a... Yeah, for sure. You get prison time.

She was in Michigan and she went to go buy an ice cream and then she screamed at the store clerk and punched her in the face. And then the police were called because the person didn't put enough sprinkles on the ice cream. Now, this is breaking news from 2015. Goodness me. Goodness me.

You were in a different time zone when you did your prep for the show, but I don't think you were in 2015. 2015, the New York Times. I'm not sure about that. May 28th, 2015. Nine years old. It suddenly tickled me nine years later. The reason I still wanted to bring it up is because this

ice cream that I had over my holiday was the greatest part of my holiday. It was like four levels. Yeah. Four levels. Yeah, I went in and hit him. Our local dairy guy was like, I said, can I just get a couple of goody gumdrops because I'm a goody girl. That's what I said to him. Yeah.

He vomited a bit. And he gave me four scoops of it. That was legendary. That's good stuff. And then producer Jared mentioned this morning that he went for a little sweetiey-treaty of his own, but not an ice cream. No, we went for a fro-yo. I mean, is it back? Is it back in fashion?

Did it ever go away? God, I love fro-yo. I've always been team fro-yo. No, no, no. The only good thing about fro-yo was putting lollies on the top. Frozen yogurt. Yeah, but that's where they get you

because you can't stop at one or two. It was a flash in the pan of frozen confectionery. Well, they're still around. You'd go for like a little couple of splooges of fro-yo. God, no wonder they're tart. A couple of splooges of fro-yo. I'm a goody goody girl. A couple of splooges, please.

Hey, Hatton, good morning. A couple of splooges for this goody girl. Good, but this happened in the morning. Not even in the afternoon. Top of the morning, Hatton, good morning. Couple of splooges for this goody girl. Good, but this happened in the morning. Not even in the afternoon. Top of the morning, Hatton. I've been a goody goody girl. Splooge me. Don't say that about my Hatton. He's going to trespass you from his dairy.

I know, but you'd always go to the fro-yo and you'd splooge the machine and then you'd put a couple of lollies and they'd be like, that's $15. And that was the outrageous part about fro-yo. Yep, and then we went recently and splooged on, that's $15. And that was the outrageous part about Froyo. Yep. And then we went recently and splooged on a cup in their hands. Congratulations. I love that it's only taken 10 minutes of the first show back

for there to be some outrageous complaints. And yeah, went to pay for our two cups of Froyo, $43. Yeah, dude. $43. Yeah, dude. $43. That's like pick and mix lollies at the movies, which they don't really do anymore, eh, pick and mix lollies? Nah, I know. They're missing out there.

Or just pick and mix at the supermarket. You're always like, big bag, and then it's, yeah, $50. And they're $40. That's ridiculous. Ridiculous. And you can't really be like, oh, I'll just scoop some of that. Shove it back into the machine. Thumb it back into the soft serve.

Is there a reverse function on this where it like sort of sucks it out of the cup? Oh, mate. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, there's a food item that's back in the dairy aisle. You're not particularly happy about it. Yuck. Cottage cheese. Cottage cheese.

I remember when cottage cheese. I thought cottage cheese came back when everyone was trying to be healthy but still wanted like a cheesy treat. Yeah, and like it's a cheap form of protein because it's quite heavy in the protein, I think. Yeah, it is cheap. So it's like a fresh cheese but it's not aged. Yeah, it's just like curdled.

It's curdled. Yeah, and that's why. It's a curdled milk product. A lot of people don't like it is because of the texture. I just can't. It's because it's not feta, but it's not milk. Yeah. It's cottage cheese. But so loads of recipes

are appearing on TikTok and this is what has caused the resurgence of cottage cheese and one recipe in particular, cookie dough, cottage cheese. Just eat the cottage cheese. But cottage cheese is savoury, right? Yeah, for sure.

You put tomatoes on it or cucumber. Not sweet. How are they doing that? Just mixing it in. Yuck, no. But look at that. If you had like a little snack-sized thing of, I don't know why it's so upsetting to me, cottage cheese.

Yeah. It's 14 grams of protein. Yeah, it's a lot of protein. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. For what it is, for a snack. You've got to guzzle it down, don't you? I know.

Could you put it into, hear me out. No. Could you put it into a smoothie? You could. And put enough flavor. Because it's not, it doesn't taste. Yeah, it doesn't taste, but it's quite bland, isn't it? I'm going to go cottage cheese smoothie.

No, don't. I know, but everyone, you know, it's January. Everyone wants to get, oh, yeah, you can. Just be better to use like a Greek yogurt or like a natural yogurt. Not as much protein, though, in the yolk as there is in the cottage cheese. And we are about, are we back in the gym for 2024? Are we all about the props? Oh, I actually was going to do a sort of

warning for everyone about how hot I'm going to get this year. Okay. Right. It's nice of you to give those sorts of warnings.

Like a hate warning. Yeah. Yeah. Incoming. Hotness. Do not touch. Do the Met Service do these warnings?

Yeah, I'm on there. Okay. It's probably next month. Okay. So if we've got the app, Met Service, it'll kind of pop up

Like a cyclone Or a Yeah yeah yeah Like a tropical cyclone Just warn it Be aware Yeah and I've got a short Burn time

I don't know I don't know how to work This analogy in But I am going to get Very hot this year And I don't know If cottage cheese Is going to be part of that

Because I don't know It just makes my skin crawl 17 past 6 Next on the show We want to talk to Producer Shannon The youngest member of the show, we want to talk to producer Shannon, the youngest member of the show,

about what she did for one week of her break. Surely it was like going to festivals and getting loo-lally, right? You would think so. Loo-lally. Olivia Rodrigo. We just found the oldest member of the show. Oh, no. Play it.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. To the producer's booth, producer Shannon at the ripe age of 24? Yeah. 24. God, it would have been R&V, bloody other festivals I saw people doing things at. A big goon of... Yeah, a goon of fortune. Orange and Kristoff.

On the old spinny washing line. Yeah. A couple of chunnies. Yeah. See you in the new year with a little chunny. Yeah, just some naughtiness in general. What did you do? I was on a retiree cruise. Yeah,unnies. Yeah. See you in the new year with a little chunny. Yeah, just some naughtiness in general. What did you do? I was on a retiree cruise.

Yeah, she was. Yeah. And I had the best week of my life. I can imagine it would be a nice cruise because it's quiet. Was it literally an adults-only cruise? Oh, like it was. So some of the cruise ships my boyfriend works on is like 3,000-ish people. That's kind of normal.

This one was 400. So it was very intimate. Oh, great. The crew knew your name. Everywhere you walked,000-ish people. That's kind of normal. This one was 400, so it was very intimate. Oh, nice. The crew knew your name. Everywhere you walked, they knew your drink order. We should give you some context because you didn't book this cruise as a choice. Your boyfriend works on cruise ships.

We do know he's a magician. I would have probably just stuck with you, booked the cruise. Other than you're a magician boyfriend. You're you were company, you were a magician boyfriend. I need to admit, you were dating a magician. But you went along as a plus one. I was a plus one, but luckily everything was included. I was treated as a guest.

Everything was... See, that's nice. It's all you can eat right in general. Even I'd sleep with a magician for that. Do you remember that? Yeah. It was more than all you can eat. I'd maybe fiddle with a hypnotist's bits.

Yeah, maybe. But I don't know if I'd sleep with him. He'd probably have to hypnotise me to forget I ever fiddled with his bits. But remember all the good parts of the cruise. Hard with a hypnotist around consent, isn't it? Like, am I doing this because I want to do it? Or am I doing it because you've told me I want to do it? Have you mind-flayed me? Yeah, have you mind-flayed me?

How will we ever know If you're driving To work now And you date a hypnotist Keep driving Yeah Go somewhere Go to a

Wherever they unhypnotise you Yeah yeah yeah Well sometimes I think That with Brendan Because he's a mentalist And I'm like Do I love him Oh my god

Has he mentalist shit He's mentalisted me Well yeah People loved that TV show Didn't they Yeah Yeah Well yeah Because one of his shows he performs on ships

is more close-up magic, like... Sorry, like what? That's the big box. Yeah, wow. And then his second show is more mentalism, predicting, like, there's something on the stage, kind of vibe. This, that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and then so he's doing that, and you're just free to, what, be on a cruise ship? Oh, my goodness. I, yeah, yeah. Okay. And so he's doing that and you're just free to what? Be on a cruise ship? Oh my goodness. I was the ultimate wag. It was the best thing and I befriended all these oldies.

They host you for dinners so you don't just go to dinner with like your partner. There's a lot of solo travellers. Literally all these divorced women. And so I stood at these dinners with like eight old women and they just took me under their wing.

One got me a personal driver in Wellington for the day. We went out in the Benz. Then she took me to the Michelin restaurant. What was the restaurant? There's one restaurant on the ship that has full Michelin stars, but you can only be invited if you're like the top level and she invited

me. I had lobster for the first time. She bought me a $400 US dollar bottle of red wine and we drank that. Was this just entertainment for her? Like let's just watch a poor person eat lobster and flash wine for the first time? Did she have sex with you?

She was a hypnotist. She was a hypnotist and she just made you forget the hypnotist part and the part that she slept with you and probably your magician boyfriend. We saw these little penguins on the part that she slept with you and probably your magician boyfriend. We saw these little penguins on the trip and she loved them. No, you didn't.

No, you didn't. I just think you did. No, you didn't. It was a mirage. And if anyone asks, you will have seen penguins. We saw these penguins and I was like,

oh my goodness, I saw this souvenir necklace at a penguin and I was like, she won't wear it but I'll get her something as a thank you because she spent hundreds of dollars on me. She's got hundreds of dollars.

Yeah, you don't have money to be buying rich women necklaces. Well, it was $12. I gave it to her. Well, that's going to cause a rash, isn't it? That's going to oxidise. A big allergic reaction there. No, she started crying and she's like, put it on me. And then she's like, I'll never take it off again.

Put it on me. That is. My darling, you have had a love affair with this old woman. You didn't even know it. You have a friend who made you forget. Wow. But now she's still messaging me. I'm in touch with all these oldies.

She's still wearing this necklace. And I feel bad because it was $12. But she's like this multi-millionaire. Don't worry, she'll go swimming in it soon. It'll go purple around her neck and then melt off. And then you'll be hearing from her lawyer. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello. Top Six things we missed talking about over the break, so we just want to touch on them briefly. It's today's Top Six. Great. It's so hard to look back

over a month and be like what happened some wild things happened yeah when you catch up with someone

you haven't seen for a while and they're like oh what's been happening and you're like oh nothing but heaps of things have been happening you just can't think

of a way to I'm like that every day recover it Aaron will always ask me what did you talk about on the radio I'm like I don't know

I don't know send him the sheet. Sometimes my friends and I will have an agenda for some gossip. That's nice. If you're keeping a little notes, thanks for what you want to talk about. I'll message and be like, we must discuss this, this and this. Because otherwise

if I forget something, it ruins the gossip. You've got to have someone to run it though. Right, so we're now going to throw to you Fletch and you've got to listen about this person. Do you do like at Christmas a present each or do you open all of your presents

and then the next person opens all of their presents goss-wise? Oh. You go one by one. Yeah, you go one by one. But then what if someone's got eight points of gossip

and someone's got three? If you've got the best gossip, you hold it till last. Yeah, you sit there and you're not even really listening. You're just going, oh, yeah. Just you wait, you sillies.

Yeah, no, this one's boring compared to what I've got. Number six on the list of the top six things we missed talking about over the break, so we just want to touch on them briefly. Shoplifting looks to be back in fashion. Yeah, that's hot on. Allegedly, Vaughan, yes. Yeah, allegedly. Ocean Alley.

Are they an Australian band? Okay, that was pretty funny. In Queenstown, stole a lid to a bottle. Obviously, that classic situation where your bottle's fine, but the lid's broken and you can't just buy a lid. Yeah. Even though you just want to buy a lid. Maybe online you can buy a lid,

but in store they want you to buy a whole new bottle. So he just nicked one. He pinched the lid. And there was video of it. It was so great. Called out. And the store, was it Huntington Fishing? I think it was.

It was sort of outdoorsy store. Yeah. In Queenstown. Put up a very good post, even working on a few tons of Ocean Alley songs. hunting and fishing? I think it was. It was sort of an outdoorsy store. Yeah. And Queenstown put up a very good post, even working on a few tons of Ocean Alley songs. Yeah. Great. To bring it back.

And allegedly from Scotty's, a flash boutique-y store in Ponsonby, Golry's. Green MP Golry's. Yeah, who's overseas and apparently doesn't have a phone or any way to contact. The whole thing. The whole thing.

The whole thing's bizarre. It's very bizarre. Like, is it a case of, you know, like a lot of high profile people or celebrities will borrow a dress? I don't. And then return it? It seems so off brand. Certainly not. The feeling I got from anything I saw on it.

Wow, so bizarre. And if that was the case, wouldn't you have found a phone overseas and just let everybody release a statement being like, oh, there's been a huge amount of confusion that I will sort up on my return. Get to the bottom of it sooner. I'm looking forward to getting to the bottom of it. It's quite funny. Thank you. Good catch. Good slap of the moth there. Number five on the list. We don't say that word. Of the top six things we missed talking about over the break, so we just want to touch on them briefly.

Jacinda got married. She did. Jacinda got married. Didn't she look pretty? Yeah. I thought it was a bit much. There were protesters and helicopters. I know.

And like paparazzi hiding in the hedge. No offense, Jacinda, but you're no one now. Yeah. You know? You're an absolute nobody. Let these nobodies get married. And Fiona from school went and I didn't. I'm just...

Oh, wow. Yeah, he was upset. Fiona. Wow. I've consulted a small council of other people who thought they might have got a pity invite. Because a lot of people went. Yeah, like a lot. Like so many.

Some of the guest list I was like, oh, really? I didn't realise that you were mates. I saw someone in a singlet at a wedding. That's rude. Of a dignitary. Really? That's rude. Dame Jacinda.

Number four on the list of the top six things we missed talking about over the break so we want to touch on them briefly are Salt Burn. This is a movie on Amazon Prime. So good.

And All Those Warnings. Thank you to people who recommended I watch it but recommend I also don't watch it with children or parents. Or your father-in-law. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you watch it with your father-in-law? No, no, no. I was just saying with yours living with you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just saying with yours living with you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's from Thailand.

He's seen things. He has a number of things, no doubt. He's partaken. But all those warnings of not to watch it with parents. Yeah. Well warned. Well warned. And we will pass on that warning. Amazing, weird, very different film.

Artie, yeah. The way it was shot was beautiful. Oh, the writing as well. The mum performances. Men are so lovely and dry. Looks a little bit wet for me. Yeah, she was amazing. What's her name? Rosamund Pike. Yeah. She's amazing.

She's incredible. Our number three on the list of the top six things we missed talking about over the break, so we just want to touch on them briefly. Weather. It rained, it hailed, people got washed out, it tornadoed apparently. Did it? It sunned pretty hard too. It sunned for the last week or so for us. Yeah.

But in the first couple of weeks, I was like, I was damning your name, Fletch. I could see you were having beautiful American sunshine and I was like, we better get a summer. It's here though.

It's here. And then everyone got really burnt. Yeah, and then it got literally sizzled on day one. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things that we missed talking about over the break, so we want to touch on them briefly. The Golden Globes happened. Zero warning.

Did not know they were happening. And then all of a sudden, there was just like all the controversy, and the host apparently did a terrible job, and then people came out afterwards. I don't even know who the host is. Joe Coy? Yeah, who's that? Yeah, I'd heard the name but wasn't familiar with the hardest job in the world. Oh, yeah, I don't know why anyone does that.

Yeah, celebrities. You've either got to really sit on them or just be nice and do the job and move along. And forgettable. And everyone just looked sookie in the audience the whole time. They did look sookie, yeah. And on the list of the top six things we missed talking about over the break, so I want to touch on them briefly. Wellington and Auckland's light rail, gone.

Clean car scheme, gone. Kids having cell phones at school, also gone. But they will be reading an hour a day, guaranteed. One hour of what? Will it be one hour of sustained silent reading? We all remember how enforced they do 10 minutes of silent reading work. It's because kids can't sit still and silently do something

for 10 minutes. That's when you'd be passing notes. At the end of it, we'd just be screaming. Yeah. Good luck, teachers. They've got a couple more weeks. Yeah, they do.

No, but they'll be back at school doing prep. They'll be getting the classrooms ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Prep, prep. Wink, wink. Wink, wink. Drinking in the staff room.

That's today's top six. Producer, producer, which one? There's two blondes. They are confused. Which one is it? Oh, my goodness. This is the second time you've done this this morning. Is it?

Yeah. The first break, you were like, oh, so over the break, Harwin asked for some photos and I said that was Shannon. Oh my god, yeah. Wow. I can't tell them apart. They're both so beautiful. It's not gonna work. It's not working. Producer Harwin

who is higher up in the rankings than Shannon. There you go. The more important one. Yeah, that's the reason I'm mad. You might be in a bit of trouble today because you made a bit of a whoopsie over the break. Yeah, that's the reason I'm mad. You might be in a bit of trouble today because you made a bit of a whoopsie over the break. Yeah, so like as a show, we obviously have to make some purchases sometimes.

Sometimes we go travelling, I need to pay for our dinners, whatever. So I've got a work credit card. I get hungry at the airport, you have to buy me a little chocolate bar. Otherwise, God, hell will rain. Thank you for that. And so, yeah, I have a work credit card and I take this very seriously.

I'm scared of this thing, you know. As soon as it comes through being like, you need to approve this purchase, I do it. I'm really good with it. Vigilant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until the other day I got one of those emails saying, hey, you need to give me the receipt for this payment, whatever. And I was like, I've not made any purchases on this card. That's strange.

Has Shannon fallen for a scam again? We've got to stop paying for Shannon's scams. But we use it for content, so it kind of is in the content budget. I suppose it's, yeah. Deductible. It's well with me. No, I had bought some Christmas presents online, and I've used my work card.

Oh, okay, that's fraud. That's prison. That's prison. Yeah. That's theft as a servant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I got, it was free for me, you know.

So did your computer do like the autofill thing? Yeah. It did that shop, whatever it's called, service. And I guess the last time I'd used that service, I had bought. Something for work. Flowers or something for work, maybe a cake. I don't know. And so it just auto-put my work card,

and I was like, oh, I don't know how to fix this. What did you buy? What were the gifts? Some jewellery. Oh. Small business. We should be supporting local, actually. Wow.

Because it's a business expense, does that mean that we should get the jewellery? I'll take them out of my ears if you want. Yeah. So it's not gifts. you bought a gift for yourself I bought some gifts myself and some gifts for friends look at her trying to say I was just buying gifts because I'm such a lovely friend you bought yourself some earrings

no I did buy a gift for myself what are you going to do, you've got to fill out forms or something you've got to pay the money back yeah I have to deposit them, I have to bank transfer them the money back to your own workplace yeah how embarrassing I always get nervous because you know I like to have a glass

of wine or two. And we all have on our Uber accounts. Oh yeah, the work Uber. The work Uber for when we travel for work. And I always get nervous when I wake up in the morning to check my Uber, to see what time I go home, that it's going to say that I ordered it

on the work thing. Hasn't happened yet, though. Hasn't happened yet. 2024 is your year. No, I'm actually reining it in. Oh, have we made a call, have we? Yeah. When did this happen? I'm doing three booze-free days a week.

That's good. Now, I know that doesn't sound like much. Did you hear them laugh at you just then? I know that doesn't sound like much. It's a real step in the right direction for me. That's good. Stop laughing. You meant to be supporting Hayley.

It's a supportive laugh. A supportive laugh? What even is that? You can't even tell us apart. We can laugh at you. Yeah, true. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Can you wear white? I'm guessing as a female, or as a male?

But males can wear white to weddings, white shirt. Like linen, like summer weddings. Yeah, but can you as a female, because you put this forward Hayley, so I'm imagining maybe more from a female's perspective. Can you wear white to a male-male wedding? Yes. Where one male is marrying another male. Now if you've just woken from a coma

shocking of 20 years that happened. Yeah. This has happened. This has happened. You're allowed to now. Because in two weeks the three of us are off to one gay wedding of our friends. Yeah we've got back to back gay weddings. And then the following weekend another gay wedding.

I wonder if that's too much gay. Back to back doesn't work for gays either. Someone's back, but someone's got to be. If you just like bumping bums. Yeah, could do. That could be a thing, I don't know. Bump and grind, I don't know. Do whatever you want to do.

Yeah, you do you. But I, because it's so hot, I was like, the outfits that are available to me within my current wardrobe, nah, not going to work. Okay. So I've got a new outfit for one of them. It's leopard print. It's leopard print. Okay, what?

If you're going to. You can't go to a... It's leopard print. Well, it's gay. I just felt like it's a bit gay. It's a classy... It's a gay wedding, not a bogan wedding. No, no, no, it's classy leopard print.

These are not happening in West Auckland. No, I think it's going to look cute. Classy leopard print. Now, this is a problem with people who wear leopard print. They think it's classy. No, I know, but I sort of think with the leopard print and some heels and the pink hair, it's Is it Dr. Shawnee's wedding or Mike and Matt's? I don't know who's going to be least upset that I'm wearing leopard print.

It's silk. It's like a nice shade. A silk leopard print dress. I don't know if this is a thing. A picture is being painted. Have you got a picture? Yeah, I'll put together a picture because it's a top and skirt thing. I don't know if this is a thing. A picture is being painted. Have you got a picture? Yeah, I'll put together a picture because it's a top and skirt thing. I don't know about this.

It's cute. I don't know about this. But I need a second outfit for whomever doesn't get the leopard print look. And I've been looking at all these outfits and I saw all these really nice white dresses. And I was like, man, those are pretty. And then I was like, can you wear white? Well, there's no bride. To a gay, gay wedding because there's no bride.

There's no bride. You know what I mean? One of them's a bride. Yeah. You know what I mean? One of them's no bride. To a gay, gay wedding because there's no bride. There's no bride. So I would say. You know what I mean? Like one of them's the bride. Yeah. You know what I mean? One of them's the bride. Which one is the Sheila? Which one are the brides? So Sean's the bride.

Really? Okay. Yeah, I'd say Sean's the bride. Okay. And then Matt's the bride. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously.

Obviously. No comment. No comment. The gag will be listening this morning. They'll be like, shut up. Can you wear white to a male-male wedding? 37% of people responded yes, 63% responded no. Wow, so still no.

Yeah. Dan says, I mean, often white implies purity and there's nothing pure about a gay wedding. They're filthy. And then he says, wait, wait. He says, in breath, I am a gay. It's okay for me to say this. It's word from the inside.

Wow. Jeepers. It could have taken a wild turn if those brackets hadn't been there, Dan. No, no. Aaron says, definitely not. My gays got married. And one of the cousins wore her white trash wedding dress that she wore to her Vegas wedding.

It was so distasteful and she thought it was hilarious. Wait, she wore a wedding dress though? Yeah, a trashy Vegas wedding dress. You can't do that. It was a winter wedding and the theme was black and gold. She did it intentionally and everyone was judging her for trying to be the main character at what should not have been her main character event. No, it's not about you, Han.

Ben says, it feels like you're trying to fill the role of the bride or be intentionally spiteful. Okay. Okay. All of these are opinions to take on board. Yep. Megan said,

wear whatever the hell you want, whenever you want. Rainbow emoji. It's a wedding. It's a wedding. You don't just... Rainbow emoji. This wedding... Is it a rainbow dress? Is it like a Birkenstocks wedding? No. Is it not? want. Rainbow emoji. It's a wedding. Rainbow emoji.

Is it like a Birkenstocks wedding? No. Is it a shoe wedding? It's going to be so hot for the men. It's going to be too hot. This is my look. If you even comment on the price, I will absolutely shoot you. I've got glasses. I can see the price from here.

It's cute. That's not too bad. I was expecting worse the price. I've got glasses. I can see the price from here. It's cute. Oh, that's not too bad. I was expecting worse. That's cute. Yeah. That's cute. Oh, that's just for the top. That's tiger stripes.

What? Oh. Yeah, that's more tiger stripes than leopard print. Yeah. No. That's leopard print. Oh, it's kind of maybe a mixture of both. Anyway, it's cute.

It's cute. Trust me. Go with me. Go with me. It's an exotic. It's my rock and roll aesthetic. Posh goth. Alex says, I don't wear It's cute. Trust me. Go with me. Go with me. It's an exotic. It's my rock and roll aesthetic. Posh goth. Alex says, I don't wear white to a wedding, period.

Period. You put a T on there. Yeah, Mike's just... You put a T on there. Mike's just messenger group. Matt's definitely the bride. Yeah. Mike, no one was asking.

No one was questioning that one. No, no. Alex also said, might seem like you don't think a gay wedding is legit if you wear white slash disrespectful, but then they wouldn't have invited you if they didn't know that you were absolutely okay with two men being married. Well, it's not a legit thing.

I think the only reason that you don't wear white to a wedding is because the bride is typically in white. If there's not a female bride there and they're not in white, then you wearing white doesn't suddenly go, there's two brides here. True. Maddie McLean, who gets to be

mentioned on the show one more week before he's dead to us, said two women wore... I'm sad to lose at him as a friend. Yeah, I was too, but he made his choice to go and work at another radio station. Yeah, he did. Come on. He did. Cut. Bye. Two women wore white to our wedding. I've still got a hat of his, by the way. I'm not giving it back. Oh my God. We should just share the hat.

Yeah. We'll just wear the hat. Matt's hat. That's your hat now. Yeah. Who? I don't even know his name anymore. Julie says, you can wear white to any wedding. Just don't wear something that looks like a wedding dress.

Now, did Matt say that people wore white to his wedding? He said two women wore white to his wedding. Does he have a comment on that? He didn't. He presented that fact. Feels pointed. It did feel a little pointed, didn't it? Because it wasn't like, eh. Yeah. It wasn't like, two women wore white and I didn't. He presented that fact. Feels pointed. It did feel a little pointed, didn't it? Because it wasn't like,

yeah. It wasn't like, two women were white and I didn't mind. And had a full stop. Yeah. Okay. Name and shame, I reckon. Anthony says,

depends on how much white. All white, no, but a flourish. What did they say? What did they say, Anthony? Wonderful use of flourish. We are dealing with our homosexual listeners here. Yeah, yeah. Flourish of white.

Well, passable, passable. Okay, okay. Lisa. Grumpy Lisa. I believe Grumpy Lisa. Back. Fantastic. Good to have you back in 2024.

I don't think you should wear white to anyone's wedding unless it's your own. Yeah, it's her. That's her. That's her. That's got a tinge of the grump there. That's got a tinge of the grump there. It's got a tinge of the grump, doesn't it?

Right. A little grump. So, mixed. Mix. I'd probably say no. Okay. And also,

you're asking for tomato sauce stains or, you know, dipping sauce stains. I think there's a class at your wedding so there's going to be bloody waltz

tomato sauce there. There's not only tomato sauce. I was kind of maybe on these weddings anyway. If there's not tomato sauce I'm not going. Well, the gaggle are listening. There'll be some kind of maybe on these weddings anyway if there's not tomato sauce I'm not going well the gaggler listening

there'll be some kind of condiment dip I need to know the list of dips I know that listing I need to know which wedding and to be honest

I'm only going to one and it's the one with the better dips both of these weddings are scared to death that there will not be enough food for you against each other

if I am for a moment peckish at either of these weddings what was that guy's name who we went to who didn't feed me enough? I can't remember his name. He's dead to us. If I am hungry, you'll know about it. Yeah, I know.

I know. I want my guts to be spilling over my linen pants. I'm going to put a little packet of party mix in Sade's handbag I'll bring my big handbag Next on the show Gen Z have made a formal announcement and it will offend anyone like myself in their 30s

You won't believe this So Gen Z whom we think of only with fond thoughts We're starting afresh with Gen Z, whom we think of only with fond thoughts. Okay, yeah. We're starting afresh with Gen Z this year. Apparently, they... Wait, we've got to hate our generation. Back to the boomers.

No, man, Generation X has been getting off scot-free. Who's that? The one before millennials? The one between millennials and boomers. Yeah, great. They're the 90s teens. 80s, 90s teens. If you ever saw your parents and they had a flock of seagulls hairdo,

watch out, we're coming for them. Right. Well, apparently Gen Z have formally announced, and I think they did this collectively, I believe there was a hooey. Shannon, were you there at the hooey for the Gen Zs? Yeah, of course. Yeah, she spoke up. Can you imagine what the single spokesperson for Gen Z would be?

It's me. No, too white. Too white. Too white, too blonde, too straight. Too cis. Yeah. Sorry. Red for film.

Yeah. Shut up, you cis white woman. Two thirds of that have had it too good for too long. Two thirds of you need to shut up. They have announced that they want to die before their 30s to avoid ageing. What? Yeah, honestly, I'm kind of with this.

That's an idiotic thought. Your 30s are fantastic. The 30s are the best. No, I'm not saying like actively deciding that, but I think, you know, what am I going to do in my 30s? Be sad and sore? No. No.

No. No. I'm in my 30s. Wait, are you sad and sore? Not really. You're going to be flirty and thriving. Flirty and thriving. You guys get hangovers for like two days. No. No, you've got to drink more. You've got to be flirty and thriving. Flirty and thriving. You guys get hangovers for like two days.

No, you've got to drink more. You've got to go harder. I don't get hungover anymore. No, you're just bubble drunk. I'm on my one-way path of kidney, liver and all my organ failure, but I don't get hangovers. Wait, what about on New Year's Day? Because I heard you'd been tucked up in bed at 10.30.

No, 9.30, I was in bed, drunk, don't remember much at all. Woke up the next day, sweet as. Because I was in bed so early and I slept through to like 7 in the morning. That's 10 hours sleep. That's the longest amount of sleep I've had in years. Boom, I was back, baby. I had a few drinks that night too. Johnny and I polished off a bottle of whiskey

and I won't hear a bad word about it. Someone said online that they wanted to die in their 30s, before their 30s, so that they don't become an, quote, unattractive hag. I mean, yeah, I don't want to become an unattractive hag.

Do you think I'm an unattractive hag? Well, no, you're hot. But I don't know if I've got, I don't know if I've got the bones like you. Like, I don't know if I'm going to. Oh, no, I'm big boned. I'm big boned. She just described you As an old house

Run down The bones If someone put in Some effort This could be Quite the reset Oh renovators Dream

This one This is terrible Is it because Why do they think this Because they think Your 30s is heading Towards your 40s And 40s is just

You're going to be An old haggard hag 40s is good too Maybe more for men Maybe more for men No for women Great for women good too. Maybe more for men. Maybe more for men. No, for women. Great for women as well, but maybe more for men. Oh my God, you give less shit as a woman. You care less

about what people think about what you look like. It's amazing. No way. This is crazy. Also, just get Botox. Yeah, true. I just feel like I've peaked. 24, I think I've peaked. I peaked at 19 and I've been on a fast stumble downhill since then. That's what I mean, yeah.

Just tap out. Shove a few things in your body. Do you know what I mean? Keep it tight, pull it up. Do you remember being 18 and thinking like 30-year-olds were old? Yeah, I know. And now I'm 42 this year and I'm cool, man. Cooler than I've ever been, dudes.

You can tell he's cool from the way he's pleading. I was boogie boarding. Yeah, you can tell by the way he's telling us. Yeah, yeah. I'm the coolest. There's no desperation. You don't hear a hint of desperation in Vaughan's voice about being cool. No.

No need. Because I'm so cool. Because of his new glasses and his dolly t-shirt and his boogie board. I'm cool. I'll do some boogie boarding, dudes. Watch out. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM.

I didn't spend a lot of time watching TV. We had lots of guests over the holiday break, and so there was two days where we didn't have guests and we sat on the couch and just watched movies. We watched a lot of old stuff, like what's the one with Robin Williams and Matt Damon and... Good Will Hunting. Good Will Hunting.

Oh, that's a great film. I was like, what a great film. We watched Gremlins., that's a great film. I was like, what a great film. We watched Gremlins. Great. Also a great film, yeah. Gremlins has aged terribly. I bet it has. There was a couple of very inappropriate.

Oh, really? Okay. Yeah, a couple of lines I was like, ah, da, da, da. What was it? What did she say? I think it was race. I don't know.

Something with race. Racially charged. Jeepers. You should say it on the show. You should say it now. You should say it now. He gets Gizmo from Chinatown and that's all pretty jumped up on prejudice and such. What did I watch that was absolutely terrible?

Oh, we watched Extras again, Ricky Gervais. Oh, yeah. Which is one of my favourite shows. Some funny, funny moments. Jeepers, creepers. Some of the stuff in that show has aged terribly as well. Well, I watched His new stand up Yeah same

That came out Over the It came out Christmas day Aaron doesn't agree with me Aaron really enjoyed it I I thought it was a bit lazy I thought he made jokes

There was still funny parts Yeah definitely He just made a lot of jokes About Commentary on him How naughty he was Instead of just being naughty. Do you know, one thing I really, really,

Boy Swallows Universe, which is new on Netflix, that just came out. What's that about? It's amazing. It's a book, eh? So it's based on a book, yeah. Is it Australian? Australian.

The guy from The Mentalist, Simon Baker, is, we didn't even recognise him in it. He plays like a rough-as-guts alcoholic father. It's because he's the mentalist. Because he mentalised me. He mentalised you. Yeah. Back in 2008 or 2016. That is crazy. I've been mentalised by him still.

It's about this kid and his brother, and they grow up in sort of a life of crime, and their mum's a drug addict, and their stepdad goes missing. But it's so charming. Is this comedy? Kind of. Yeah. What, like a dark comedy?

I was going to say it's gender bending. It's genre bending. Right, okay. It is amazing. It's flawless. One of the most perfect things I've watched in ages. Oh, wow, okay. That's on Netflix.

Okay. The other one I watched is a documentary called Love Has Won about a woman who believes she's Mother God and that she is, have you seen this, Carwen? Carwen's nodding. It's crazy, right? I really want to see it. Oh, okay, you haven't seen it. It's so good. So she

believes that she's God and then she gets all these cult followers and she also believes... Well, that's ridiculous. God's a man. No. This is the shocking thing. God's a woman. Beg your pardon? God is a woman. Oh, not in's ridiculous. God's a man. No. That's where she's gone wrong. This is the shocking thing. God's a woman. Beg your pardon? God is a woman.

Oh, not in my church. God is a woman. And she believes that she listens to voices who are all sort of part of this God. Right. And one of whom is Robin Williams. Speaks to her. Sounds like someone's on the grave.

I saw Zelda Williams on social. Robin Williams' daughter came out and was, she didn't mention the person or the documentary by name, but she kind of implied that someone was using her father's name for process.

Right, yeah. Yeah. It's a must watch. It is really good. And what's that called again? Love Has Won, I think. Right. Yeah, Love Has Won.

The Cult of Mother God. Yes. Three episodes? Or more? Yeah, I think so. It's like a doco series. Right. And then, of course, I watched Salt Burn.

Oh, Salt Burn would be my major one to talk about. It's a movie. Barry Keegan is so good. He's so good. He's a lawless. Yeah. Jacob Allure. He's going to be in the new, was it Masters of the Year or whatever?

Yeah, the World War II. Yeah, the follow up to Band of Brothers yeah that's so good what's the guy Jacob Jacob Elordi

Elordi's in it Rosamund Pike Richard E Grant everybody every actor that's in it is fantastic Carey Mulligan pops up and you're like sorry

yeah so good my friend that watched it that sent it to me saying you'll like this also weirdly out of the blue hadn't talked to her for ages

she's like you'll love this really do not, out of the blue, hadn't talked to her for ages. She's like, you'll love this. Really? Do not watch it with your parents. Because I was at my parents when she messaged me. Oh yeah. There for Christmas. She's like, do not watch this with your parents. There are some graphic sexual scenes. I couldn't imagine Christine coping with that bathwater scene. Christine would say it was just bloody stupid. She would have

left well before that. She would have left well before that. That's just stupid. Oh for God's sake. What's he saying? That's stupid. That's how people get hepatitis, Vaughn.

Yeah. It was a lot. It was a great movie. Yeah. I watched the latest season of Slow Horses. That's on Apple TV. I know you love Slow Horses.

Gary Oldman. I haven't gotten into it yet. Oh my God, it's so good. I did not wrong. Latest season is really good. The latest season of Reacher is out on Prime Video. That's great and

Fellow Travellers on Neon did you watch any of your bloody NCIS's or I didn't any dumb American crime cop

ambulance fire shows there's a very great show there is obviously a new season of SWAT coming up police fire rescue and all that kind of drama

NCIS Tennessee yeah Hawaii ambulance code do you know who they're making a Sydney Police, fire, rescue and all that kind of drama. NCIS Tennessee. Yeah. Hawaii Ambulance Code. Do you know who they're making a Sydney NCIS? Yes. Yeah, that's going to be terrible, isn't it? Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Are you going to watch more classy stuff this year? Be a bit more refined. I have watched. I watched Fellow Travelers on Neon. That's really classy. What was that British show you watched about the post office? That sounded interesting. Oh, yeah.

I watched that overseas because you can't get that hair born. Not yet. But it's a BBC show. No, it's ITV. So it's Mr Bates versus the Post Office. Amazing. I hope you get it. It sounds incredible. There's some good docu-series out. Do you know another one I watched is a movie that I didn't

know about. Tom Hanks. A man named Otto. Charming little sweet film. Okay. One of those films where it's a really good family watch. Just a charming film about a grumpy old man called Otto, played by Tom Hanks. Dodgy bath water? No, there's no dodgy bath water. There's no

vampire facials and whatnot. Anybody hump a grave? Nobody actually humps a grave. I'm out. Oh. God, it's really set the movie the bar high for movies. I've got to have something. Yeah, yeah. Unexplainable.

Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I always think this. You know when you watch a wedding and then it comes to the cake eating bit and then it comes to the, can you not do that? I just thought I would take this opportunity to open a package that I was waiting for. No, I would like you to be present

in this voice break, please. He's got... What have you got? A spoon. Do you think that was going to be quiet? I was using a spoon. Anyway, you know when you're at the wedding and then they get to the cake eating bit

and then usually the husband, because he's a bloody... He's one of the lads. He's a bloody funny lad, shoves the cake in the woman's face on a makeup look that would have cost $300. Who does that? And a dress that would have cost thousands of dollars.

And then they're all messy. I just don't think a wedding's a time for gags and jokes. Like wearing a leopard print dress. No, I'm going to look so sexy. I'm going to get all the boys. I'm going to get all the boys and some of the girls. Right. So there is a wedding that has gone viral because the husband took it a step further

and pushed her into the cake. Like a little prank. Pushed her right into the cake. So on her wedding day, she's in a cake. She's got cake all over her. Yeah, cake. Covered in cake. She's covered in cake.

Like literally covered in cake. Now, he thought this was like a little funny thing to do, you know, a little fun prank. And she's like, excuse me, this is my wedding day. Two days later, divorce. Because of the prank. She's just like, no, I'm not doing it. Would it be fair to say she probably would have had a fair idea

that he's likely the sort of person that would have pushed her into the cake? This is terrible. She said everything was going smoothly until the cake cutting. The whole room was watching. I made the first cut. The photographer was standing in front of us.

Then I suddenly felt the hand on the back of my head. Not good. Not in a fun way either. Pushing me face first into the cake. Not only my makeup, but the whole wedding dress

was ruined and the whole room laughed. My husband laughing loudest. Humiliated. He was like, here's your official wedding photo. She was like, well, here's your bloody divorce. Two days later.

You know you're marrying someone like that. Yeah, you know you're marrying someone like that. She's like, it's all going fine. She was turning a blind eye to the problems that existed beforehand. She's not going to have a hard time finding a new husband. Oh, wow. She's exactly the sort of girl that marries a douchebag. I know, I know.

And she'll do it again. Mark my words, it'll be the third marriage before she finds someone, before she's like, maybe I don't need to be with that sort of guy. Yeah. So she's been inundated with messages being like, well, you're overreacting, this is ridiculous. You don't need to end your marriage. You said, I see it so differently.

If he does something like this to me, despite multiple requests saying she'd set out, like, don't do something silly like that. Like, I can't trust him. What's he going to do next? Anyway, it's so awkward when you watch, you know when you do it silly like that. Like, I can't trust them. What's he going to do next? Anyway, it's so awkward when you watch, you know when you do it, like you see pranks and everyone, like the person

giving the prank thinks it's going to be the funniest thing and then the person getting it is just not having a bar of it. I want to know if you've ever had, like, a prank done to you, you've done a prank that's like ended a relationship. Could be a friendship too. Like you did a, you pulled a prank on a mate and it just went utterly sad.

What about in the workplace too? Yeah. Oh yeah. And then they were just like, I quit. And on my exit interview when I have with HR is not going to be kind.

Yeah, not going to be kind. I'm going to quit and I'm going to take you with me. Maybe. Work relationship, friendship. It's the last straw though of having a douchebag friend, right? Yeah.

When they do a prank, you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, read the room. Yeah. I remember when I used to get tired, I'd be working with people, and I used to say, Fun Haley's left the room. Yeah. Which meant, like, no pranks, no silliness, no gags. Oh, yeah, okay, yeah.

I've heard enough. Hey, just a heads up, guys, Fun Haley's left the room. You've never said that to us. Oh, no, because Fun Haley's always here with you guys. But not in a way, it was more of a general warning for people present. Yes. Yeah. Just to let everyone know,

Fun Haley's not here today. So not specifically during the day, but I've been there, and it does, it sucks the air out of the room. So really, the room felt, I remember doing that.

Yeah, the room really. Was this at a recording of a television show? Yeah, it died. Right, okay. Well, let's take your calls. 0800 dials at M, give us a call,

text through 9696. When did a prank backfire and actually end a relationship? Or a friendship? Well, a man found himself dealing with a divorce two days after his wedding because he pushed his wife into the cake, hand back of head, boom, and so she's divorced him. Weddings aren't days for pranks.

No. Prank them on the honeymoon. That's too expensive. You know, if you're a prankster. Yeah, have a little something waiting for them when they get to their honeymoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we want to know if you've ever done a prank or been part of a prank that absolutely ended a relationship or a friendship.

Now, Charlotte, what happened? Oh, so, on my mum and dad's wedding day, my mum's uncle had organised a surprise stripper for both of my mum and my dad. So a nun came out. A stripper? Yes.

For a wedding? At the reception or? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight after their first dance. Oh, no. We don't have strippers at the wedding. Oh, my. How wanted everyone was? were people just shocked?

Well, yeah, because we only, my mum and dad have always turned off their wedding video at that point. So we've never been able to see it. It was about three or four years ago that we all had a few drinks and said, right, you can watch this part. And we watched it and these two strippers came on for my uncle and they did the whole dance and then... How nude did they get? Ah, nude.

Did you see some areola? I did. Genitalia? Genitalia as well? Yeah. I think the... No, not the video. The guy in the dream did. My mum and dad did. Right, but there was a, no, not the video. The bride and groom did. My mum and dad did. Right, but there was a wang out in the reception.

No. No, that's not appropriate. No, the crowd seen the butt part, but not the front genitalia. Oh, right, okay. That was reserved for the bride and groom. Jeepers. And that ended the uncle. Yeah, see you later.

Oh my God, that's a bit wrong. Thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DARS at M. When has a prank ended a friendship or a relationship? When did a prank end a relationship? That's the question we have asked. Or a friendship.

Or a friendship. Yeah. This one from the professional side of things. This text message in. My boss sent an office-wide email saying we're all getting a pay rise to honour all of our hard work for the year. Then he waited a few days and sent another one saying Christmas prank. Oh.

No. Okay, you could- We were each getting a box of Bickies instead. Three people resigned, including myself. Because you would, you'd lose all respect for your boss. You'd be like, that's not even fun to play with. That's people's livelihood. That's people's Christmas and their families.

And a cosy living cry. And a cosy living cry at Christmas time. Yeah, people would be like, oh my God, this is going to be amazing. Yeah, that's not a prank. Yeah, that's not a good prank. A pay rise to honour all the hard work. Waited a few days. What if in that time you'd sort of made, you would, you know how you'd like mentally go,

okay, well that money can go here and here and here. Yeah. And it's gone. Someone said their partner said, oh, quick, come outside. And when they came outside, tipped a big bucket of cream on them. Cream? Cream? Cream is expensive.

Do milk. Like, were they on a farm? No word, just cream. Milk would rinse off. For some reason I feel like cream would stick to you and you'd have that film of cream because it's fattier. You need a hot shower.

Yeah. They said that was the end of it because they were always pulling shit like that and they never responded well to them so they obviously just weren't picking up on that. Yeah, you were never like, ha ha, got me. Yeah. If someone poured cream on me

I'd be like I'll just open my mouth Yum I love cream But there'd be no warning That would be What you'd be most angry about You could have warned me There was cream

So I could have opened my mouth Got a bowl I don't think you'd open your mouth Whipped up some cream And made some brandy snaps Yeah I would have whipped up A quick crumble

And poured the cream over the top Someone messaged in And this one This one sits well with me. My wife plays a prank where she'll use my car and leave no gas in it. Okay. How full was the car today? It was pretty full.

The chimney was full. It only got used once over the break. I saw an ad the other day for the four-door. Yeah. They're going to put extra doors on your car. The whole thing about them is that they're cute and small. Yeah, exactly. I'm glad we're all on board with the fact that it should have stuck to a two-door.

I want to know more 207 who just texted and said, my mum pranked us and said her breast cancer was gone. Now, we're... What? Okay. Hell of a prank there for a mum. That is dark. And then what?

But where's the payoff when she dies? I don't think mum understands comedy. The prank is there's going to be a payoff at the end when you say got ya. But your got ya is got ya, still got cancer. Right? Yeah. Or she dies and there's a sign above her bed that says got ya. You know how mums are real bad?

I don't want any fuss. I just had an operation last week. Oh, my mum did that. She had a skin cancer removed. And then we found out a year later. Oh, don't worry about it. My mum went to hospital. I was like, oh, what's been happening? She's like, oh, hospital. And I was like, what? She's like, oh, I didn't tell you. I didn't want any fuss. What?

This was a while ago. Christine's fine for anybody that knows Christine. She's, you know, box of birds, healthy as, but maybe this mum's just didn't want to fuss. Yeah. Yeah, the cancer's gone. anybody that knows Christine. She's, you know, box of birds, healthy ass. But maybe this mum's just didn't want to fuss. Yeah. The cancer's gone. Is it really, mum? Yeah, man, miraculous.

Anyway, let's get on with life. Get on with it. Everybody just get on with what you're doing. And then they ate the funeral, pranked you. Mum's like, gotcha. Two things, just before we get into your new hobby. Yes. We've got Ariana Grande's new song in just a couple of seconds.

Oh. And two, are there any apples anywhere? No. Not red apples. Why went to the supermarket and there's no apples? No, not even green apples. I had Granny Smith, but that's a tart apple primarily for cooking. Yeah.

Do we have an apple shortage or something? I'm not eating Granny Smith apples. We live in, we live in, what year? 2024. They're only good for a pie and a cider.

Absolutely. I like a green apple cider over a red apple. Good for you. Red apple cider's too sweet. You don't want to dry it. Maybe this is a problem. They've put all the apples

into cider. So I'm robbing myself to pay myself. To pay yourself. Can someone, if anyone knows what the apple sugar is about. Maybe it was my supermarket. I tell you what is popping at the moment though, stone fruit. Oh yeah.

I've stopped at two roadside stalls. Did you pay the full amount? Paid the full, why wouldn't I have paid the full amount? Well, because it's an honesty box. Oh no, no, no, it wasn't an honesty box. It was someone with a little pop-up gazebo. I think I'm saying that right. No.

Invented by the gays. You can't say that. It depends. No, invented by the pale-skinned gays to keep the sun out. Who was under the gazebo? A young lesbian woman. You would own a gazebo, but someone else might own a gazebo. Yeah.

Well, regardless of what you shout at yourself from the sun with, you're selling stone fruit. Yeah, right. They had F-poms and everything. Oh, okay. Ooh la la. So you can't steal from them anymore. you're selling stone fruit yeah right they had air pumps and everything oh okay ooh la la so you can't steal from them anymore

and then my kids ate between them three punnets of blueberries and some cherries I have the cherries we all rock at shits when we go home good stuff

I love getting to move in with a bundle of cherries that's Kiwi summer isn't it that is Kiwi summer Kiwi summer just getting to move

and then trusting a fart. Yeah. Good stuff. Well, I wrote down my goals for the year, which I always do and I never achieve them, but, you know, I still do it. Did you achieve anything last year? No.

Last year was a shocker. Did you do goals last year? I can't remember. That's how much I didn't even care. But one of mine was to read more because I used to be an avid reader and then I've just sort of pitted out because of my phone

and I hate that about myself. So I wanted to read more and then you know about book talk, right? Like everyone reviewing books. These are the must read books. I went to buy a book to read when we were at the beach. Couldn't pick one,

so I didn't buy one. Just played on my phone instead. But there was a section called Book Talk, and it was a section of a bookstore saying, these are massive on Book Talk. All the girlies are like, you have to read this. And I was like, I've bought a few of them. I'm like, right, I'm going to get my kit all ready to go.

Then Book Talk led me down the era, sort of the subcategory of smut. It is interesting to see how many women will read pornography but be like, when they catch their husbands watching it on the iPad. And I have... Because there's no difference? Well, one's just, it's like watching the movie version of Benjamin Button or reading the classic, Penguin's classic. But the thing is... I mean, one's stuck in the classic, Penguin's classic. But the thing is,

one's stuck in the dryer. One's stuck in the dryer. The other one takes 500 pages to get to the dryer. It's the same thing. It's going straight to the dryer. And do you know what? Having been a bit of a fan of sort of both means, the stuff I read compared to the stuff I watch

is far more outrageous. Like the smut that women are reading is insanity. Is everything on BookTok? No, no, no, no. There's like, some people are just like, these are great books. These are great reads. But it's smut skewed.

But there is a whole world of women just reading smart, reviewing smart, and then saying like, you've got to read this. Do you think guys know what their girlfriends are reading, their wives? Well, Aaron asked me, he was like, you've got to read this. Do you think guys know what their girlfriends are reading, their wives? Well, Aaron asked me. He was like, what's it about? And I was like, I can't even say.

Really? So I started with a book called, should I just say it? Do you know the origins of the word smart come from the German word schmutzin? Oh, schmutzin. Schmutzin, which means corrupt. Don't come in the bedroom. I want to live time with my schmutzin. I'm going to read to my schmutzin. Ohmutzin, which means corrupt. Don't come in the bedroom. I want to live time with my schmutzin. I'm going to read my schmutzin.

Oh, I get all rocked up. So the first one we read was a book called The Ritual. And it's like stuff. The producer girlies are laughing. Have you read this book? Do you know of this? I know of this book. Yeah, I've not read it.

Because you read a lot of this so-called smart, Carwen. Yeah. Like, the girlies are into it now. So I read this first one. I chewed through it. And it is like. Literally. When you said chewed, I was like, oh, that's the wrong word.

It's like you get to the end of the page and you just like put the book in your mouth and you. And it's like sometimes. I've got to be with my schmooze. My schmooze. You get to the end of the page and you just put the book in your mouth and you go... I was a bit aghast at times. You were aghast? Yeah. You're the filthiest woman I know. I was aghast but not offended. I was aghast but not offended. It's so confusing. Someone say the perfect mix.

Indeed. This would be me reading it. I'll be like. Wow. Am I a bad feminist that I'm enjoying this? Hashtag bad feminist. Hashtag good girl. This is like.

Just. The stuff I've been reading. And then so I've read another one. And then like the big one that everyone kicks off on is a series called... Twisted? A Court of Thorns and Roses. Oh, even I've heard of that. Like a fairy sort of fantasy world.

And I've been listening... I don't know. Where are the holes? Do fairies have genitals? I don't know. And they must have because there's baby fairies. But maybe they make them out of magic books. Like Gremlins, which I watched.

Yeah. Which would be a great book. Not erotic at all. But because I've got a few books on the go, one smart, one non-smart. I also don't know how anyone can read more than one book at once. Yeah, same. I'm trying to train my brain to be better because it's died.

But I was listening to one of them on Audible and I would get into my car and it would play and I'd be like, oh, we're driving along, we're just getting a bit bloody. Crank the air conditioning. I mean, it's a challenge. Because when you dropped me to the airport four weeks ago, we got in and it was like crime and murder.

Yeah, crime and murder. And it's good now that I'm just driving around getting all rocked up. So I was listening to this and then when I get out of my car, it just automatically stops, right? It's on your phone. I went into the dairy the other day and obviously my bag had knocked it and it pressed the play. You know how like on your

home screen how whatever's playing is just like there? And it played it and I heard the woman be like, I walked into the room where I heard him there. And I was like what's happening? What's happening? What's happening? And it wasn't a bad bit but I was like It could have been worse. It could have been bad. Because I take the smart eye read. Yeah, yeah, happening? What's happening? What's happening? And it wasn't a bad bit, but I was like, ah. Could have been worse. It could have been bad.

Because I take the smart eye read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's unreal. That's the thing about when you're reading in a public space. No one really like pops their head. But if you're watching something, everyone will be like, oh, that's inappropriate. There's boobies. But then you could be reading something where it's so filthy, no one's going to.

I had to fast forward my laptop on a plane because there was some hard out scenes. We're sure with reading smart in public is to what end? Do you know what I mean? If you're watching adult content, I imagine you're going to probably have a little tattoo. Well, that's what somebody said. Book talker here.

The husband's boyfriend's definitely benefit from the smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's doing all that boring stuff. Well, that's what somebody said. Book talker here. The husband's boyfriend's definitely benefit from the smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's doing all the boring stuff. Oh, yeah. You're reading a bit and then you're like, boring stuff. Now what? Yeah. Now what?

When you read it in public, what do you do? You just get all racked up and then walk around the rest of the day? It gets the car warmed up and then we get to drive it a quarter mile. Yeah. If we're lucky. Jesus. We've just got an Apple update for you because we said before about a lack of apples. Now, the good news is your Apple device

was plugged into power overnight and the update has worked. I went to the supermarket yesterday, no apples. No red apples. This is an absolute disaster. Apple picking season is just about to start. Have patience, grasshoppers. Cyclone Gabriel hit a lot of our apple orchards.

Oh, yeah, right. Somebody said it was down like 20%, 30% for a lot of places. So this is just the tail end of the apple season. We've run out. They pick the apples and they literally can cold store them for most of the year. Oh. I know.

No wonder they're flowery sometimes. Yeah, or fresh. Yeah. That's why an apple tastes so much different when you eat it straight off the tree. So in a few weeks, we'll get them. Yeah, yeah. March and February, March

are your big apple picking months. Okay, good to know. Thank you for the apple update. Thank you. From the Hawks Bay, I believe the apple update. Thank you. From the Hawke's Bay, I believe, that update. Thank you. Yeah. I just wanted to say, over summer, over the holidays,

we lost our Lulu. Yeah. Our doggy died. She would have been 17 at the end of this month. That is insane. Do you know, the weird part about it, and we talked about it a few times when we bought her from somewhere in the Manawatu region.

From Campbell Live. Later on that year, Campbell Live did a story on puppy mills and we looked up the address on the invoice and it was that exact place. And so we were like, oh my God. So when we talked about that, like weirdly people were like, when did you get this dog?

It was like 2007. And they're like, does it look like this? Send me a photo of their dog. I'm like, almost exactly like that. So they were like, we found out our dog? Send me a photo of their dog. I'm like, almost exactly like that. So they were like, we found out our dog was from a puppy factory and we felt terrible.

But it was 2007 and people didn't know about it. But now you've got to investigate. Lulu didn't know that she was from a factory. She was from a factory. No. We didn't bring it up

in front of her. I mean, you technically rescued her from that factory. We did rescue her. We paid the release fee. Sort of a hostage fee, if you will.

Yeah, of course. Well, I kind of rescued my cat. Yeah, well, that's a bit different because you've done that three times now. Twice. Twice. I paid the release fee. Sort of a hostage fee, if you will. Yeah, of course. Like I rescued my cat. Yeah, well that's a bit different because you've done that three times now. Twice, twice I've done that twice. This one is nearly four. I've done really well this time. They're not bred to last, those ones. They aren't. I don't think

they are bred to last. No, they're not. They're like a compostable cup. You know, you can't use them too often. They're not meant to last. Like a paper straw. Yeah, whereas Lulu came out of a plastics factory in China and just really was made to last. 17's a long time. Yeah.

I tell you what, like, it happened at the start of, just after New Year's. It rocked me way more than I thought it would. Of course. Because we, like, knew it was coming and, yeah, we booked in for the vet to come and euthanise her at home because she wasn't, yeah, she wasn't in a happy way but man,

it rocked me. It's so sad. Yeah. And now we've got a little box of ashes. Oh. The problem was I knew the person

that took her from the vet to the crematorium and they said she got to ride up front. Oh, that's nice. She said she doesn't want to. Riding up front.

I was going to say the same thing and then I stopped myself. I hope they're winking at Bernice they're out the window. She loved it out the window. Okay. Oh, yeah.

No, that's fair. Head flapping in the wind. And she got the VIP treatment. So, yeah, now we've got to spread our ashes. Ever spread? No. No, I've never done it. Oh, yeah, we did a little bit.

My pop under his favourite tree. That's a good spot because then he would have returned back to the tree. Yeah, I know. Feed the tree. Do you know there's a sign up the top of Mount Maunganui saying, do not scatter ashes up here? At the top of the mountain? Yeah.

There's a sign that says, like, do's and don'ts. But that's what I'm imagining. Why are you chucking it and someone's, like, coming up that last bit where they're, like, gasping. And they're sweaty so Gran just sticks to them. Yeah, grime.

And they breathe a bit of Gran in and there's Gran grits on their face. They've got to wipe it off. Producer Shannon, didn't you have an ashes whoopsie?

Yeah, we cremated my cat and poured him on a tree but my dad kind of went high for some reason. I don't know why. He stuck to the leaves and then we were like

the rain will get it. And then after a week he was still stuck on these leaves so we had to water blast him off. Because it was just upsetting because he was like a heritage cat. Did the water blasting destroy the leaves as well? The tree's

just like, I don't know what I did to you guys. I've just been turning carbon dioxide into oxygen over here, doing what I can. Maybe I'm providing a little fruit one time of the year. Wow, what a bummer of a holiday. Yeah, it was the low point. And then you...

What was the high point? I didn't have like a... Oh, I think the lads and I spent a day woodworking. That was like a pretty high point. Just some mates that I don't see in person too often. And we were, yeah, we were woodworking. That was probably high.

Once he hung out with friends. Interesting. Interesting. For a few days in a row, I was very tired at the end of it. Socially. Yeah.

Socially. And you invited people over for New Year's? I didn't. Maybe this is a new year, new you. I'll go and reconcile. I didn't.

I was in bed by 9.30. We did a breakout room. Me and Aaron. Right. We started the New Year's with Vaughan and. We did a breakout room. Me and Aaron. Right. We started the New Year's with Vaughan and then we did a breakout room. Yeah. Did our own.

Yeah. Fletch, do you have a high point, low point? Surely you can't be as low as losing a dog. Well, nothing's as low as losing a dog. I got COVID. Yeah, I get third time. I didn't know you didn't tell me this until this morning. No, it was just New Year's Eve.

And yeah, but it wasn't like bad. It was just like snot. But it wasn't bad. It was just snotty. This was post-volcano hike. Yeah, that was my hike. That was your literal high point. My mum worries about you more than your own mother. No, mum was worried. Climbing an active volcano, good to know she was worried about her son.

Being 600 metres away from a spurting volcano, that was incredible. And a lot of people have done the Guatemala hike. Yeah. Fuego. You are the only person I know personally. Yes, I know.

You're my people that have done it. But yeah, it's incredible. Guatemala is amazing. Nice. Yeah. Low point. Did you say you're not

in Guatemala now, Dr. Roy Puddle, when you left? No, I didn't. I didn't. Missed opportunity. A lot of people did message me

saying that though. I bet they did. Do you have a high or a low point? God, miserable, eh? Another one of my low points was not being able to sleep in until last week and then enjoying a couple of sleep-ins and being like, well, good. I'd say my high point was I slept until at least 9 a.m. every day. Did you?

I haven't overcome you yet. Because I've only been here for a couple of years so I slept in every single day. That was a high point. I also made vision boards with my friends Shari and Jazzy. You made vision boards? Yeah, we sat out and I laid out all these magazines and we cut them up and did vision boards. Mine was both aspirational and quite horny.

Low point was, I didn't really have a low point. It was just a very like, gentle, nothing that exciting holiday. Low point was the first day of sun we got because Auckland had crap weather to start. We went to Midiwai Beach and I did that thing where I took off my shirt and I said to Aaron,

five minutes with this shirt off. Five minutes. I was sizzled to a crust. Silly girl. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. What was it?

This week's fact of the day, we'll be looking at bands' names and where they came from. Okay. Nice. I think. He says after he's found one and he's sure he'll pull more out. Let's see what happens. But today's Fact of the Day is about NSYNC. Okay.

It's N apostrophe. It's star. Asterix. Oh, asterix, yeah. Or asterix. Yeah. N-S-Y-N-C. Okay.

Wait, what? The star comes first. Yeah. No. Yeah. It goes N-star. No. N-sync.

It goes, I'm looking at their wordmark logo. It's replacing the I. Trademarked. It's replacing the I. Star or Asterix. N-S-Y-N-C. It's a stupid name. It is a stupid name.

But it's very 19. The first time you hear it, you're like, ugh. And then you just got used to it. Yeah. It's like, you know when a friend names their baby something a little bit weird and you're like, hmm. Yeah. The first time you hear it, you're like, hmm.

Crappler. And then little three-year-old crappler. You can't imagine her being called anything else. Anything else. She's a darling. That's just what she is. Yeah. So NSYNC formed when the guy who actually started Backstreet Boys,

Lou Pearlman, whose photo on his Wikipedia page is him when he was arrested. So he's probably got an interesting story to tell. He had created Backstreet Boys And then he met Chris Kirkpatrick And was said to him If you can get a boy band together That can sing as well as you I'll fund it

Right So Chris Kirkpatrick's like I'll get on to it So then he went through talent agencies Found Justin Timberlake And Justin Timberlake had J.C. Chazes Because they'd worked on the Mickey Mouse Club together Yes

He'd also at some stage met The other guy, Joey Fatoni. Hey, Joey Fatoni. Joey. They'd worked at Universal Studios together. Right. And then they found Jason, who was the last guy,

who I completely did not even know was an instant. To be totally honest. Do you know why the guy that started the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC has, as his profile photo, a mugshot? Mugshot, yeah. He was arrested. Was it fraud? Ponzi schemes, leaving more than $300 million in debt.

And he attempted to avoid capture, and he was captured in Bali. Oh, God. You love Bali. I do love Bali. I love Bali. He did. Hope to visit again. He did.

He did? He did. He did? He did. He did. He did it in 2016. Yeah, he did it. He did. So he did the... That will explain why he can't update his photo to a better one.

Yeah. Because he did. He did it. You would definitely be on, like, changing it to a more fluttering picture. Probably in Bali because you know what the lights are. Yeah, Bali on the beach. Maybe sausage legs. The golden hour. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. On a swing, somebody looking over your shoulder like, I'm a more flattering picture. Probably in Bali, because you know what the lights are. Yeah, Bali on the beach, maybe sausage legs. The golden hour.

Yeah. Oh my gosh, on a swing, somebody looking over his shoulder like, I'm just living my life. So what did he do? Backstreet Boys before or after some of the, I'm seeing now he was under suspicions of fraud,

insurance fraud and pump and dumps. I don't know if you can see that. Sorry? On the radio. Okay, so Airship... Okay, okay. This guy's story, there must be a movie. There must be a movie.

He purchased Airship Enterprises and then said he needed to raise money to buy a blimp. He went public, raised $3 million, he bought a blimp. Why is he buying a blimp? Then he leased the blimp to a McDonald's show sponsor for advertising. Then he relocated to Orlando, Florida

where he signed MetLife and SeaWorld as clients for his blimps. Then he pumped up the company stock to $6 million and sold all the shares. There's your pump and dump.

Oh, that's a pump and dump. That's a pump and dump. Pump them up, sell them. I've known it differently. I've just known it differently. All my life. All my life. Made the money and then it was shut down.

Right. And then there's maybe blimp insurance claim as well. This guy does need a documentary. Sounds fascinating. Sounds wild. Because he funded and formed like two of the biggest bands, pop bands in the world. Yeah.

And is the first cousin of Art Guard Funko. This needs a movie. This needs a movie. This needs a movie. Have you watched Cousin? Have you watched Blackberry? No. I forgot to mention it before.

Oh, I've heard it's good. So good. About the phone. Yeah. About the rise and the fall of Blackberry. I've heard it's good. And it is phenomenal. Okay.

Glenn Howden from Always Sunny is so good in that. Okay. And that other guy that's in everything. The guy that was in How to Train Your Dragon, Jay Bouchenal. Bouchenalal. Okay. Glenn Howden from Always Sunny is so good in that. Okay. And that other guy that's in everything. The guy that was in How to Train Your Dragon, Jay Boucher-Marchenal. Boucher-Marchenal sauce. Okay. Phenomenal.

Boucher-Marchenal. Back to this. This guy's fascinating. We need a Lou Pullman. We need a Lou Pullman documentary. Garfunkel's fame and wealth helped inspire him and I believe maybe also gave him a bit of money. Oh my God.

He was obsessed with New Kids on the Block and how a boy band had made so much money as a business model. So that's what he based the Backstreet Boys off. So how in sync got their name? In sync is called in sync because Justin Timberlake's mother said, you are amazingly in sync with your singing voices. But why is it spout that way? Because the group's name is

made up using the last letter of each of the band members' initials. Timberlake. In is the in. No, the last of their first names. Chris provides the S. Joey the Y. Jason the N. And JC the C. Oh my god, how

fortuitous. Fortuitous that it all came together. I feel like we've lost Fletch. He's obsessed with Lou Peruitous. Fortuitous that it all came together. Wow. I feel like we've lost Fletch. He's obsessed with Lou Perlman. He also managed O-Town. Oh yes. LFO, do you remember them? Yes.

And some other bands. New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick. Yeah, that one. Amazing. In the summer, in the summer. Wow. So today's fact of the day is NSYNC's name is spelt like that

Because it is the last letter of the first name Of each of the members of NSYNC Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Lots of people set some goals. You're not much of a goal setter, Fletch. Yeah, but I don't have any at the moment. None at the moment? Because I was actually on the plane the other day coming home, and I was like, I wonder, should I have some goals for this year?

Like a little something, something you want to achieve? Well, you trained quite hard this year to climb that volcano. And then you did that. Yeah, I got fat last year. So maybe this year I'll just get fat again. Yeah. Because then you'll feel better about getting fit again. Yes, exactly. That feels healthy.

What about you, Vaughan? Nah. Anything you want to achieve this year? Nah. Be it within yourself or something more like tangible, like climb this mountain or whatever? Because if you set it and you don't achieve it, you feel bad about yourself.

That's right. But if you don't have any expectations upon yourself and then you miraculously do something, you're like, wow, that came out of nowhere. Good on me. Yeah. That's how I roll. Yeah, I don't.

There's so many like self-help books and, you know, books about this. I don't think there's any book that's... You're telling me I should write a self-help book? I think you should write a book. That should be your goal. Yeah, you're saying I too could be a life coach. You too could be a life coach.

Sometimes I feel like the life coach is no qualifications and to be honest, not where I want to be in life. And yet they're coaching people on how to live lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something for everyone. I'll give it a go. I wrote a bunch of goals this year because for me, 2023 wasn't great.

Like it had some good moments. I enjoyed parts of it. It's quite odd because we were there for so much of it, Vaughn, weren't we? Yeah, that part was fine. And I thought we had a great time last year. That part was fine, you know. Would you say we were the highlights of your year? One of them, yeah.

I liked my job. See, I didn't have that planned for last year, but hearing that now, good on me. I was the highlight of your year. Okay. We'll soften that a bit. Now, that is not something I set out to do. That was just happened. Okay. We'll soften that a bit. Now that is not something I set out to do. That was just happened. Right.

That just happened. I just think I got a bit wayward on lots of different things. So this year I wanted to sort of realign what I wanted to achieve. One of which was I wanted to walk because I need to walk more. I'm just on my ass all the time. Okay. And it's good for my hormones, good for my PCOS. So I was going to walk and I wrote down I'm going to walk 365 days of the year.

Meaning every day, even if it's like to the shop and back or for a long walk, whatever, just do a walk. I haven't gone for a single one. It's 15. You walk from your car to the elevator, from the elevator to the studio, that is walking. Yeah, no. I meant actively going for a walk.

You walk to the toilet every day. You're such an enabler. You've done it already. You have done it already. Just by existing and moving my legs. But could you do two walks a day for the rest of the month and catch up on that? I'm not cheating, just myself.

No, but then you're still doing that amount of walks and just squeezing it into that much time. Because I've got quite a lot. Prioritise sleep. Nah, that hasn't started yet. Walk every single day. What was the prioritise sleep? Just prioritise sleep. I went to bed early last night and I asked

Alexa to play me some Brown Noise. Brown Noise is the good noise. I'm giving my dad and Alexa just so he can have Brown Noise. I don't think your mum's going to like hearing brown noise. Yeah, she's a fussy old thing. Fussy old thing. But dad hears everything.

Dad's like me. He hears something and he's like, well, I'm awake now. Yeah, right. You're up and you're ready and you're, what is it called? Your stress cortisol level goes, you're like, am I going to need to protect my family? And you charge outside. We need to protect my family? And you're charged. We need to run and pack it all up and leave.

My dad didn't hear it over the summer when the house nearly burned down though. Oh my God, I know that's crazy. They had a, you know, the cord on old houses, they're underground now,

but the old houses used to have a cord that ran from the nearest power line to the house. Yeah. Black cord. Yeah. Mom heard this ticking and went out and she said it was like dropping electricity. Like it was dripping electricity.

And it had this blue thing going around it. Oh, my God. Crazy. That's terrible. Well, look, I haven't studied any of mine, and I thought it was a good chance to maybe get a few people on the phone or to text in and let us know how your new year, new me is going. Maybe you started at the gym or some exercising, and let us know how your new year, new me is going. Maybe

you started at the gym or some exercising and you lasted two days. Yeah. That's okay. It's okay if you fail. Or maybe you set a goal to be like I'm going to do this. You've already achieved it. And maybe we'll help you set a new goal. Because you can't just wander around aimlessly like these two with no

direction or goal or intention in life. Well, it's been working out fine all right so far. I know you are both nailing it. Sorry, more than me. I feel like I'm the one doing it wrong. Anyway. Set yourself up for failure.

No, that's not a thing. Have no expectations in life and always surprise yourself. People will always let you down. Don't listen to these two. Including yourself because you are people. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Never trust anyone.

Including yourself. Including yourself. You can't trust me with a thing of bickies. I'll be through them. No, you can't. Okay. If your goal was to not have the bickies, maybe it would be more helpful. 0800-DARLZNM.

Give us a call. We want to take your calls. You can text through 9696. How is your new Year, New Me going? Have you set goals? Have you achieved them or failed them already? Two weeks in. Good or bad? We want to hear. We want to know how your New Year's resolutions

are going two weeks in. We're at the two week mark. Yep. You would have set some goals at the end of last year or at the top of this year. How are they going? Are they working? Are they failing as miserably as mine? Because I said, the easiest one, just walk every day. I'm starting today. Again, I'm...

But technically my year starts. You've been doing walking every day. You're walking from the bloody couch to the fridge. Sarah, what are your goals for this year? Mine is just to close the monthly challenges that my Apple Watch. I know. Yeah.

I know, but then I do that, and then I get a little rash. You've got to take it off for a day, and then you do what Fletch does and cheat and put all your goals down to zero. I do not cheat. Yes, he does. He does.

I do not cheat. He did. He's like, I'm going to be hungover tomorrow. I'm changing it to... Changing it from standout to five. I was allowed one cheat day after I did like three months in a row. Yeah, to be fair.

I know some people don't like the Apple rings or the smartwatches because you kind of become a slave to them, but it kind of does keep you accountable. Sarah, I do have terrible news for you. Oh, no, what? Those just get harder because it bases it on the last month's activity. So if you beat the rings this month and then next month

it's like, didn't shoot her well, make it harder and then by December you're doing triathlons. Yeah. You're doing an Ironman. How are you going so far

with it, Sarah? Two weeks in. That's fine. Look, if I accidentally end up doing an Ironman by this year, that's okay. No, that's fine.

Then I'll be real jacked. Yeah. Yeah, bro. And how's it going? Have you done every day? Yeah. So there were two like how's it going? Have you done every day? Yeah. So there were two, like, challenges for January because there was, like, the limited edition one,

which was close every ring. Every day. For seven days in a row. Yeah, next month that's going to be 20 days. Yeah, babe. That's fine. That's fine. Good girl.

I have a four-year-old, so, you know, half of it is running after her. Just push the button. Just go start run. And then put it on the four-year-old. Put it have a four-year-old, so, you know, half of it is running after her. Just push the button to go start run. And then put it on the four-year-old. Put it on the four-year-old. There you go. Great. Sarah, thank you.

Good luck with your challenges. Yeah, good luck. Keep your texts coming in. 9696. Someone texted just saying a pessimist is never disappointed. That's true. This is a terrible attitude. We're changing it.

We're touching base, aren't we, two weeks into the new year on how your New Year's resolutions, everyone would have said, new year, new me. What to it? 2023 wasn't a great year for lots of people, I reckon. And so we want to know how you're going. Have you failed already? Have you passed already?

Have you ticked it off? Maybe it's less online shopping. Don't look at me. Don't look at me like that. Oh sure, I'll close my tabs. Close tab, close tab. There you go. Somebody said I have five expensive bottles of champagne in my cupboard. I've had them for two to ten years and my goal is to drink them. I've drunk three so far.

Oh shit, thoughts and prayers. Two year and a three year. It's going to be tough. Nine and ten to go. Yeah, wow. That's really, that's going to be hard to do. Stick in there. If you don't get there, happy to help. Nine and ten to go. Yeah, wow. That's really, that's going to be hard to do. Stick in there. If you don't get there, happy to help. You know?

Yeah, yeah. If you don't get there, happy. Lauren, what is your New Year's goal? My New Year's goal was to pay all my AskPay and Zips and then delete them. I have since paid one of them and then bought some stuff on it yesterday. Lauren, you dummy! Lauren, you were doing so well. You were doing so well.

I know. Can I also say, I'm a long-time listener of First Time Caller. First bell ring. First bell for the 2024, for the new year. Yes, thank you. I mean, after part, I mean, I think you've got to find something else that gives you that.

Because there's a dopamine hit, isn't it, that online shopping? You get a little something, you get a little... Drugs. Drugs! Oh! I've been hearing great things about drugs. Because you can't put those on afterpay, so you won't be able to...

Can you? You can put everything on afterpay now. You could try the dealer. Really? Yeah. Can I put this methamphetamine on after pay, please? Don't start with that one. That's the one I don't hear

good things about. We do joke in Jess, obviously. We do Jess. I'm just going to Google natural ways for dopamine hits to get natural. I reckon you won't be alone, though. What about looking at a nice sunny day?

Getting enough sleep, exercising, listening to music, meditating, spending time in the sun. Oh yeah, that sounds way cooler than getting stuff for cheap. Shopping in the mail. For sure.

Also, I'm waiting on an Aramex delivery that should have been delivered just after Christmas. Good luck. Now, it got misdirected three times, and then we had bounced between their Auckland depots another two times. I'm wondering, am I ever going to get this? I'll say no. Yeah, probably not. It feels like a no, eh, Lauren? I'm here for this drama.

Yeah, no. What's in the package? Worst careers. No, you can't say that. Name a worse one. Yeah, people will please their head. They don't advertise at the show. I will say it.

They are single-handedly the worst career coming to us. If you see Vaughan's package, put a boot through it for that comment. You won't advertise at the show. I will say it. They are single-handedly the worst courier company. If you see Vaughan's package, put a boot through it for that comment. You won't be able to break it. What is it? You'll have to wait and see. You can't tell.

What's in it? Is it a chopping board? No, it's not. Was it a bolt? A bolt. Steel plates. It's some farm stuff. Oh, God.

Just deliver it, you know. I'm at the stage now where you can even just throw it over the gate. Oh, God. But just deliver it, you know? I'm at the stage now where you can even just throw it over the gate. Yeah, okay. I'd be upset if that was my first interaction, but after all this bouncing around. Carwin would just like to totoko your sentiment here by saying she's waiting on an Aramex package from November.

Where is their warehouse? Let's go and get our shit! Yeah, it was supposed to be a Christmas present as well. Show trip to Aramex. Hey, but a nice, friendly trip. We love it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm blaming whoever I see for this logistics issue.

They don't get paid enough to deal with your shit. I'll tell you that. The message is in. My New Year's goal of walking every morning failed on January 1st. I'll try again in 2025. No, no, no, the year's not over. The struggle is in. My New Year's goal of walking every morning failed on January 1st. I'll try again in 2025. No, no, no. The year's not over. The struggle's real.

You've got, there's 300 and some of the days left. 50 days left. No, it's a leap year. Oh, 300 and 51 days left. I don't know. A year ago. 366 days this year. I have already completed a three-day water fast.

Oh, don't do that. Don't do that. Water fast. My 3kg is feeling fantastic in the sunbathe. Go eat a sandwich and then I'll tell you what you put on for. Yeah. You'll be like, how is this possible? But good for you.

If you're feeling good, actually, I don't mean to yuck you like that. I just, you know. If you're feeling good. Don't stuff your metabolism. Been there, done that. Also, shout out to the person who said, I haven't set any goals this year. And I was like, oh, come on. Then she says, I beat breast cancer in 2023,

so any goals seems to pale in comparison. Well done. You take this year off. I'll take that back. You absolutely put your feet up, mom. Oh, another one in the bag. And it's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review

and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.