ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 15th June 2023

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

News Sources  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Fieldays  Dai Henwood!  Are you a regular?  Hayley's on Keto  Fletch's Eyesore  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Horn and Hayley Big Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and earn rewards on your coffee. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show, Flesh, Horn and Hayley. Here's Ryan's studio. Thanks, Bryn Bryns. Thanks, Bryn Bryns. Cheers, Bryn Bryns.

Loving the news. Well, I'm not loving the content of the news. No, another great... Actually, Bryn Bryns, if we could just cheer it up a bit. No, there was a Barbie story in there. There was a Barbie story for you in there. You've still got your Barbies. An increased amount of Barbie sales.

Although I don't think you'll be able to get any money for yours because you've kind of mangled them all. They're skanky. Yeah, they're skanky, yeah. Just cut the hair off and took them in the bath. Unless it's in a box. You could say it's an art installation. Yeah.

I could. I could spray paint them all silver or something and make a lot of money. Yeah. Do you know what you're doing for the top six? No idea. Right.

No idea. It's a bit of a rogue show. I've also made a rogue outfit choice so I understand if no one wants to look me in the eyes. Okay, explain. Well, if I can keep my look, if it's an eye contact

I need to hold, I'll do it. Explain for the listener what you're wearing today. I've got rude boobs. I'm new to having boobs, and I don't know what to do with them. And I've got like a see-through top on underneath. Oh, my God, it's a lot, eh?

Look at them. There's a bra on. You're wearing a bra. I've got a bra and a mesh top with like a dress over top, but the dress over top is very deep V. Plunging. It's plunging. And the breasts are showing through.

So I've got a cardigan trying to wrap around it, but it's hot in here. Yeah. Yeah. And both Vaughn and I are in the eye line there. You're in the firing line. We're in the firing line. It's all right. It's a lot.

Yeah. It's a lot for a Thursday morn. Do you know what you're doing For the top six yet? I've already said no Just in that ten seconds Oh no no no Top six

Are the outfits Hayley Could have worn today Yeah Top six parts of Hayley's Tots or so to die Literally peppered Vaughn With like Number sucks the top bit

We literally peppered Vaughn With like 15 ideas We gave him so many ideas Yeah Tired today Were we but tired? Um no I don't know Sucks the top bit. We literally peppered Vaughan with like 15 ideas. We gave him so many ideas. Are you tired today? Were we tired? No, I don't know. I got out of bed at the time I usually get in my car.

Right. Which I was probably still in bed at the time. Yes, we roll a different schedule in the mornings. Yeah, well, I've got to do my makeup, so I take a little while longer. Yeah, I don't bother. To get ready. Next on the show. There is news I think that is going to upset Vaughn. It's how we're receiving our news these days.

It's not from people like Brim Brim. No. Not from Wendy. It's coming from a totally different source now. Oh, God's sake. Russians. Not the Russians. Is, God's sake. Russians. Not the Russians. The Russians.

Not the Russians. Unless you get your news from Radio New Zealand. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Where do you get your news from? Everywhere. Online, YouTube. You read the paper every morning? I read the paper every morning. I listen to Brin Brin's sort of concise updates. Yes, YouTube. You read the paper every morning?

I read the paper every morning. I listen to Brin Brin's sort of concise updates. Yes, you do. Yeah, top of every hour on ZM. Bright Bart, that's quite... I jest, I joke. You do joke. I find it so hard to read any news

because I feel like everybody's got an agenda. Which is exactly what journalists aren't supposed to have. It's supposed to be a neutral presentation of fact But you read a story and sometimes you're like You've got to take Skin in the game that way We would read a lot more news than most people Like our job is literally to scour news sites

Looking for things to talk about We've got our fingers on the pulses While apparently young people Now they have not clarified what constitutes young. You're young. You're young. Thank you. Vaughn, you're young.

No, I'm not. He doesn't feel it today. He doesn't feel it anymore. Let's take it. He's cold this morning. I've got a nine-year-old now and an 11-year-old. God, that would definitely not make you feel young, would it? Yeah.

11. Yeah, 11 and a half. Well, it's going to be like when your kids turn like 30 or 40. Then you'll feel old, eh? Well, I was thinking about on the drive to work, I often get into these sorts of weird spiralling thoughts on the black abyss of driving to work half an hour in these cold, dark winter mornings.

Are you okay? I feel like we should carpool. I'm going to start picking you up. We can listen to some music. I can have a drink on the way to work. You can listen to some of Hayley's death podcast. Oh, no, that's certainly what I don't need. No, he likes my playlist.

But imagine getting to the day where it'll be just before I turn 60 where Indy has been part of my life more than she hasn't been. Oh, yeah. Oh, when she becomes the age that you were when you had her. Yeah. You eat too many barbecued meats and drink too much to make it to 60. Yeah, I know. Good luck to you.

Yeah, I remember turning 29, which was the age my mum was when she had me, and me being like, huh. And where I was in my head, I was like, oh. I know. Oh, imagine. That's wild. My mum just retired yesterday.

Congratulations. Retired. Bev retired. She's had one of those gold cards for a couple of years, so. Yeah. How long do you reckon she's going to be before she goes back to work because your old man's driving her now? Part time.

Monday. Yeah. Anything, any, she'll just pop into the office to do something for nothing. Oh, bless Bev. Well, young people, whoever they may be, are increasingly getting the news from social media influences rather than journalists. It's dangerous, man.

It has took over the majority of young people. To be fair, though, there are some amazing, what you would call online news kind of influences that spit out the news and bite science kind of portions that are doing a really good job. Totally agree. I think they're outnumbered. Do you mean like makeup influencers that are like,

here's what's happening in Russia. Just whoever they follow. I'd like to hear Logan Paul's hot take on Ukrainian conflict. I just want to hear him talk about anything. So Reuters, how would you describe them? They're a big... They're just a big news organisation and they feed stories

to publications and newsrooms around the world. So this was massive. They surveyed like 100,000 people from around the world, 42 different countries about where they're getting

the news sources from. Now, TikTok and Snapchat. She's restarted. She restarted. 55% of TikTok and Snapchat users are getting the news from, quote, personalities. 55% of TikTok and Snapchat. People at Instagram, not far behind.

52% of people receiving their updates. I don't get a lot of news on the gram. No, I find those purely entertainment. Yeah. Same. Food, fitness, fashion. I will send you this clip of this guy who pulls up to a flooded road

and he's in a big Toyota Land Cruiser and everyone else has stopped and waited and he's like, obviously a bit like, I've got a snorkel, I can drive through here, and he drives through and it washes him off down a river. Oh, goodbye. Goodbye. And he's got his window down, and I'm like, wind that up, buddy,

because the water's going to get in there. And then he's like, when do you bail? But he had a snorkel. Dude, it did not matter. That river was like so weak. That would be me if I got out. It's not shitty, shitty bang, bang. Yeah.

True. Oh, God, I'd better fly out of here now. So only 33% to 42% of young people using social media use mainstream media and journalists to know what's happening. The rest of them are going to some form of social media. It's all going downhill, isn't it? Yeah. It was weird that the whole distrust in the media started happening if they started reporting stories

that people didn't like. Yeah. Like it got to that point, you know, where it was like, oh, this is happening. Well, I don't like that. So I'm going to go try to find a new source that reinforces what I already think. What I believe.

Yeah, totally. And so you just end up with lots of little ecosystems. Yeah, and echo chambers. For good or bad. Oh, yeah, totally. I remember when I thought the whole country was going to vote green because all my friends vote green. And then I was like, oh, I got like 4%?

That's what? Huh? I was talking about that last night. Guy Williams was saying, I reckon I could make anybody vote green if I could have half an hour with them individually. I was like, no, you couldn't. No, you couldn't.

You'd just end up in a screaming match with someone who, you know, thinks exactly the same about voting act. So apparently on Twitter and Facebook, like your sort of OG platforms, mainstream journalists are still leading. Right. In terms of like, if NZ Herald posts on Facebook, Facebook users are going to find it there. But Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok, they want to hear it in a different voice. Younger people want to hear it in a different voice and they trust their influencers.

I can see that whole thing of you want to hear news from someone who represents you. Represents you, yeah. I totally get that. And that's representation in like the media and stuff, except for Little Mermaid. Of course she'd be white. But jokes, of course, a jest.

Just as I said that, I was like, now I'm going to have to reiterate that. Of course I am joking. Some people may not have picked up on the subtle sarcasm. Representation. You want to see someone that looks like you or is your age or represents you telling things, saying things. Yeah. And there are people doing it so well online.

But there are also so many people spinning insanely terribly. And also a lot of them aren't journalists. And journalists have rules They have checks and balances Change stories to have a slightly more Pro-Russian slant But then that's the worrying thing You're told that this is a journalistic

Place where you can trust And then you learn that you can't all the time You can trust us though Yes Yeah we're not mainstream media. No. There is literally no more mainstream media than us. We're just your cool friends.

It's called broadcasting because you want to have a broad appeal. Well, speaking of the changing future, the changing world, doctors next may be communicating with us in a lot less formal ways. Let's just say that. Is this because I hug my doctor and stuff and we text and want to hang out? Maybe not that less formal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite informal.

Tell you next, ZM. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Scientists in California believe that we may receive communications soon from our doctors using emojis. Oh, my God. I'd be so offended. So apparently medical communications such as emails and letters from doctors could have a universal appeal and replace traditional communications methods and engage patients more. Imagine going like, it's chlamydia. Cringe face.

Yeah. Yeah. Or the doctor's like, clock. So appointment. Yep. And you're like, what for? And then they send you the finger poking and the peach. Prostate.

Yeah. Or if your results did come back chlamydia, it's just like pill, pill, pill, pill emoji. Yeah, and you're like, what happened? Yeah. I'm just looking. There are body part emojis. There's the ear. Yeah, I'm looking too.

There's the nose. The nose. Footprints. Is there a throat? Because that would be good for the ENTs. Lungs, heart, brain, eyes. And then, of course, you know, you've got your eggplants, your peaches,

all your representatives. What about gifs? Jifs? You know? Oh yeah. Good fun ones. Like, you've got cancer,

Homer disappearing into the bush. I'm pretty sure that's exactly what a doctor should not be doing. No. If you've got cancer. There's the emoji of the prosthetic leg as well. Oh, yeah. They just send you that and you're like, what? And you're like, you're going to lose your leg.

Yep. What? Or what about the money eyes? You know, the one with the money eyes. That's the bill after you see the doctor. Yeah. Well, you've got some sort of green mouth infection. Yeah. Well, don't be surprised if you get a message from your doctor in coming Yeah. Well, you've got some sort of green mouth infection. Yeah.

Well, don't be surprised if you get a message from your doctor in coming years. No. Surely not. It's emojis. The baby emoji? Yeah. Just the baby? No.

Sends you the one of the person going for a run and you're like, ouch. And a glass of wine with like a big cross against it. With a cross. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Live. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole, silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, what do you do at a public toilet? Re your ass touching the seat. My ass don't be touching the seat. You're a hoverer. I hover, man.

I hovered on the recent panic dump I did at the High Street in Auckland. Oh, that heroin den with a touch, just a kiss of murder. It's a real, it's hard hovering for that long though, isn't it? If it's an emergency one that's happening,

I can hover because I'll get it done. Right. Take care of the rest of business at a later convenient situation. Yeah. Just do what needs to be done in a panic at the moment

in a hover. So a mum in the UK, she took to like a mum's Facebook group, Mumsnet, and she said, this is what I do. And she's just relentlessly mocked. People are like, what? Hovering.

You hover. You have to hover. I thought a lot of people hover on a public toilet. I remember reading once that hovering was worse than sitting for some reason, splashback or something. Poop particles, maybe. Poop particles. I can't remember why.

Aren't you supposed to, isn't your knees supposed to be higher? You pop your knees up and it's better. But if you're in a panic and you just need to get it out and there's no straining, then a hover's fine. No one's pooing. Just taking 10 minutes to see if they need to have a poo in a public toilet. It's only ever for an emergency. I feel like if you're in a nice mall or a nice Westfields or a nice restaurant or something,

you're all right, right? You just give it a wipe or put the TP down. You're not going to hover there, are you? I just go, ate a seat. But if I'm in a public toilet when it's a silver bowl with no seat. Those weird white

things that I always thought was to stop the seat slamming, but sometimes they're just the only ones. There's no seat. That's great, mate. That's like a prison toilet. Those toilets you see in a prison cell. And you can't even make wine in the cistern. It's a real goddamn shame. What do you do at the public toilet?

We give you four options. Awkward hover, give the seat a wipe, put TP on the seat, sort of like making a base there, or full peach to seat. I'm interested to hear these stats, please. I will go from lowest to highest. Okay. Coming in at 11%. In fourth place, put TP around the seat.

Yeah. You're in a public toilet because you need to go. Yeah. You're not laying out individual sheets. And they always slip off and fall in. Yeah. I'm going to start again. It's hard.

In third place with 22%, give the seat a wipe. Yep. Just wipe the wheeze spots off. I hate wiping up someone else's wheeze. Yeah, because it doesn't get rid of the wheeze. It just kind of like smears the wheeze. And very few places have that seat spray. A couple of places have that seat.

The gym has a seat spray. It must be nice. It must be nice. And we pay for the privilege. In third place, Awkward Hover at 32%, meaning the most popular one, 35% full ass deceit. Peach deceit. Peach deceit.

Wow. I would have thought Hover would have trumped peach deceit. I would have thought Hover would have trumped it as well. That's something, isn't it? If you're going to put peach deceit, you always give it a wipe. But you give it a wipe. That's the thing. Then if you're going to go peach deceit, you would give it a wipe. But you give it a wipe. That's the thing.

Then if you're going to go peach to seat, you would have surely voted give it a wipe. Give it a wipe. Yeah, because give it a wipe also is peach to seat. Is peach to seat. The worst is when you peach to seat and it's warm. It's warm or wet. Or wet. Yeah.

Or clammy. So it's both. It's moist. It's humid.'s humid A moist seat Josh says If the bathroom seems generally clean I'll do a full sit Otherwise I'll just wait

Until I'm somewhere else If you're caught in a pinch You must have amazing sphincter control Close to business Maddie says I don't My body has an internal GPS And I only ever need to go

to the poos and places that my body recognise. I travel a lot for work and it takes a couple of days for my body to register a safe zone for number twos. Yeah. I have that sometimes when I go overseas, but I've always blamed the plane trip. Oh, it's that stodgy food. It's the food. Yeah, but you also eat a lot of carbs

on holiday, hon. Do I what? You can't lose. And of course, I'll always hit the cheese bar at the lounge. Yes. Always. Always, yeah. Yeah, but you also eat a lot of carbs on holiday, hon. Do I what? You can't lose. And of course, I'll always hit the cheese bar at the lounge. Yes. Always. Always, yeah. Yeah. Cheese. Cheese for dinner? Don't mind if I do. Melissa says, obviously depends on the state of the public toilet. Awkward hover

in most instances, especially if there's some splashes on the seat. I know. I would still wipe even if I was going to hover in case some sort of incident forced my butt onto the waist. You lose your quad strength. I was going to hover in case some sort of incident forced my butt onto the wheeze. You lose your quad strength. You've got to hover quite low. Alicia says, just wipe it if there's anything visible on the seat, but otherwise just sit down. Realistically, what is actually going to hurt you?

Well, somebody else's stinky wheeze? Yeah. I don't want somebody else's asparagus wheeze on my... Cheeks. on my cheeks. On my cheeks. My delightfully clean cheeks. Used to do a hover, but as I get older, I care a whole lot less, says Miriam.

So, yeah. It's hard to hold that hover. John says, I respect the courage, but a y'all that are raw dog in a toilet seat are disgusting. TP for life. TP, yeah. Gotta put a TP barrier down. New Zealand doesn't embrace the toilet seat covers. Like America, they're everywhere.

You pull out the paper thing and you put the seat on. You rip that little thing out in the middle. Otherwise that sticks to you. You just start to wheeze and it just kind of gets away and sticks to the balls. I know what they are and I've seen them. I don't think I've ever used them. Right.

Not made of toilet paper and material. use those. I don't think, I know what they are and I've seen them. I don't think I've ever used them. Right. Yeah. They're not made of toilet paper and material. It doesn't feel like it'd be great baking. It's like baking. Flush.

Yeah. Almost baking paper, Should be flushed. Zoe said, it's your butt. As long as you don't lick the seat, you should be good.

Yeah, but you've got to give the butt some respect. The butt deserves a lot more respect than what all of you

are giving it. Respect the butt. Okay, that's today's silly little one. This is a bit strange, this one. So they got a whole bunch of people. When I say they, German. The German researchers. They got a whole bunch of men.

Now that's you two, I believe. Unless that's changed. And they got half of them to do nothing, hang out. And then half of them to do three, only three minutes of strenuous exercise. After which they showed them some hot, horny images. I'm talking boobies. At this stage, I'd be like,

have I really signed up for a research experiment? Yeah, this sounds like a trap. This sounds like a trap, some kind of hidden TV show. Yeah, like a film. Yeah. Some kind of smutty film. No, showed them a whole bunch of sexual stimuli in the form of sexual photosty film. No, showed them a whole bunch of sexual stimuli in the form of sexual photos.

Right. I'm sure they catered it to the personal preferences of each gentleman. Oh, right. Maybe when you enrolled in the study, you ticked what you liked. Yeah. A lot of ticks.

Yeah. Would there be? I like it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like put a line. Yeah, all of it. All. Just, like, put a line through all the years. Yeah, all of it. All of it. Bit of everything.

Have you even done that when you feel like you've got to form? Just put a line through everything? Because there's, like, 20 boxes to tick. No, I've never even thought about it. No, neither. Like, you went to the doctors and they ask you if you've had any of these. Yeah, like. And you've kind of had no, well, touch wood, that you've had no major health issues.

So you just go. So you can just put a line through. It's a real power play. Or when you arrived back in New Zealand. So you can just put a line through it. It's a real power play. Or when you arrive back in New Zealand, you got any of this? No. No, but sometimes on those declaration forms,

they'll sneak a one in that like, do you have fire, like... Or like, did you pack your own bags? Yes, and do you have firearms? Yeah. And if you go, yes. Oh, you're big careful. You've got to be careful.

The touchscreen checking at the airport, you always go, yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, I pack my own bag. No, I don't have any of these things. Ammunition, yeah. So what they discovered from this was, so they did a big three-minute workout, half of them,

10-minute rest period, showed them some sexy images, and what they found was that the people that had done just three minutes of strenuous exercise got way more turned on. Really? Had higher levels of arousal. Well, the blood's already pumping, isn't it? Than those that didn't. They said they exhibited higher heart rates, even though the heart rate had come back down after three minutes.

Bigger pupil dilation and more, what are they called, electrolytes on the skin. Sweat. Do you feel that when you leave Anytime Fitty? Raging. I mean, I've got to go there today. I don't want to say yes. In case they... We don't want to bring back the pest.

You know? It's so hard to get rid of that. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like we always know that exercise is good for many things. It gets everything going, doesn't it? It gets everything flowing and moving. It definitely gets your mood going improved. Yeah.

So arousal often, even like not doing anything, your skin when you're turned on becomes a better conductor of electricity. I do get a lot of static shocks at the gym, but I just figured that's me. Yeah, no, that's you being turned on. The pulse meter thing. Yeah, and we've told you, stop wearing woolen knickers. Yeah, no, I will not. On the gym, but I just figured it was me. Yeah, no, that's you being turned on. The pulse meter thing. Yeah, and we've told you, stop wearing woolen knickers on the gym machines. I will not. The merino knickers.

So if you're having a bit of trouble with your low BDO, that could be it. Even just three minis. So it has to be strenuous. You can't just go for a walk. It's got to be like weights and stuff. Big heavy weights, big sprints. Get that heart racing and then go home and keep it racing.

Keep it racing. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's day two of the National Agricultural Field Days at Mystery Creek in Hamilton.

Exciting. Love me a little bit of field days. Won't be making it this year, but I've been keeping an eye on the field day specials online. And you know who loves popping along to the field days? Who? Politicians. Oh, they do. They love it. Especially in an election

year. In an election. I mean they do. Especially in an election year. And in an election. I mean, to be totally honest, farmers are a national safe seat. Normally, yeah. And farmers in farming communities. But they love going along with politicians. And I've got the top six signs the politician you're seeing at the field days

has no idea what they're doing there. Number six on the list, brand new gumboots. Oh, yeah. Always brand new gumboots. Oh, yeah. Always brand new gumboots. And sometimes they're like brand new red bands because like Christopher Luxon's got like $18 million worth of rentals, but he'll buy a pair of red bands because he wants to see them.

Look at the comment there. I'd buy secondhand red bands so people thought I had them all along. You'd warn them in doing the lawns and such. But then there'd be like a Herald expose about how I bought them on Trade Me. Yeah, you would have been caught. Your Trade Me username, Christopher Luxon for PM. Right.

Your Trade Me username, bought a pair of... Yeah, they'd get me. Now, this isn't meant to be political. He looks like he's got small feet. He does look like he's got small feet. He's short. He's a short king.

I don't know if you'll find out on Google how big a Christopher Luxon's feet. Christopher Luxon's foot size. Christopher Luxon half. Because you know my granddad used to say, you can't trust a man with small feet. Really? Because they tip over.

I don't know. All right. How big was your granddad rocking? Granddad was like a big-footed man. Both of my granddads were big hands and big feet. I think one was 11 and one was 12. And then you're like a 10. I'm a wittle 8. Oh, you're're like a 10. I'm a wittle 8.

I'm a wittle 8. It's just not here. I'm an 11 and a boot. I don't want anyone thinking I'm an 8. Are you a men's 11? Yeah, men's 11 and a boot. He's a woman's 11. And a boot. I'm not a woman. He's a UK 11. He's a UK. I'm a Japan 11.

He's a Japan 11. I have an 11 centimetre foot. I cannot find any information on the size of Christopher Luxon's feet. Okay. But if you know it, please text him. Hosking. We can't have a Prime Minister with size 7 feet. We can't have a...

How embarrassing. We've got to go to the White House. But in saying that, how big is Chippy's foot? He's not as tall as I thought. Isn't he? You... I want a big footed... Chippy feels like he would have an abnormally large foot,

but a small body. You know? You're saying he's got two bigger feet. You know some people, they're like paddles. And you're like, whoa, don't trip up. Okay, gotcha. All right. Well, gumboots regardless.

Make sure they're worn, but not too worn. And my God, they better not be one of those flash labels. Oh, the Glastonbury ones that everyone gets? The one with the buckles, the fake buckles on the side? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a break. $400? Dude, that's so cute.

Yeah. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six signs the politician you're seeing at the field days has no idea what's going on. They're looking at an award-winning sire bull. This thing's muscly, big, tough bull guy. He's got a ring in his nose. And then they ask how much milk they get out of it.

That thing's got a penis. I hope if that ever came out the farmer would ever say yeah give it a go. Yeah. And then you've got great footage of a politician

bloody having a go having a go on a bull. Number four on the list of the top six signs of a politician you're seeing at the field has no idea

what they're doing there. They ask if every fence is electric before touching it. Is this one electric? No, that's got no insulators between it and the post. It's just got a straight staple. It's got a straight staple

to the post. We live in the city. You have to ask, don't you? If it's got... Yeah. You can ask if it's got plastic between the wood

that it's battened to. Ah, but not always. They don't always... Well, otherwise, it has to be. No. Otherwise, the electric fence wouldn't conduct. I've but not always. They don't always. Well, in other words, it has to be. No. Otherwise the electric fence wouldn't conduct.

I've been in shock before. I can't trust any fence. Well, you've got an awful miswiring. Terrible miswiring. When we were filming Bank Off, one of the last days, we were filming something outside

and one of the camera girls got snapped three times by the same fence. She was like, ow! Why does she keep touching it? Ow! She's from the city.

Dummy. She's a big, big dumb city girl. Big dumb city girl. She's from the city. Dummy. She's a big, dumb city girl. Big, dumb city girl. Number three on the list of the top six signs the politician you're seeing at the field day has got no idea what they're doing there. They keep going, oh, poo, what's that smell? Oh, poo, what's that smell?

Oh, poo, poo. Oh, poo, no, that one smells different. Oh, poo, poo, poo. Is that poos? Or is this the silage I keep hearing about? It's always poos. Number two on the list of the top six signs the politician you're seeing at the field days has got no idea what they're doing there.

They block their ears when the chainsaws get revved up. Oh, yeah. And they're like, oh. Oh. And number one on the list of the top six signs the politician you're seeing at the field days has got no idea what they're doing there. They arrived in a two-wheel drive town car and parked on soft, soft grass. Oh, yeah.

And you know after a bit of rain, 100% going to need to tow out by a Hilux at the end of the day. Yeah. That's the next up six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I feel like all this stuff is coming out, like now people can see if you've been stalking their Facebook profile because you accidentally send them in a friend request or some, you know,

like nothing's private. Click here to see who has been stalking your profile. Or people sign up to those apps and you can see instantly if someone unfollows you. But then you've given that app your password. It's not good. I used to look for a while because I've got a professional page.

And where is it? The insights. And you'd look and it would go, oh my God, you've got this amount of new followers. And I'd be like, cool. And then it would show you how many have left in a week. And you'd be like, why? You don't.

Who cares? Don't worry about it. In the last week. I have no greater pleasure in my adult life than unfriending people, in life and online. I love making a decision. Oh, I'm not friends with that person anymore. Oh, that feels good.

That's a weight off my shoulders. Wait, are we all still friends? Yeah, we're all still friends. Okay. In the last week I've had, I've had 145 new followers. Yeah. And 45 have left. What did I do?

45 people collectively went shut up. What's that on? Instagram. Don't look at that. Do you know where I reckon those 45 that left were bots and they just did a bot cleanse? Yeah, they were bot. They were Shane bots. Thank you boys. I've done a bot cleanse this week too

but it was slightly different. I'm due for my annual bot cleanse. Are you having a bot cleanse? Have you cleansed your bot? Not recently, no. Oh, you yucky boy. I'll do a bot cleanse today. You have to. I'll do a bot cleanse. Okay.

Now, Monday the 15th of May was the day that Jason Momoa told everyone to bloody follow me and stuff. Yeah. So I'm just going

let's have a little looky at the followers there. You thousands, God. That made you feel better, didn't it? Yeah. Who wasn'm just going, let's have a little looky at the followers there. You thousands, God. That made you feel better, didn't it? Yeah. Who wasn't happy for me? Oh, you're saying some people may have unfollowed you due to jealousy. Unfollows.

Unfollows, 22. Wow. 22 people weren't, maybe they weren't happy. I said it in his lap. He'd chosen you. Sounds like a little bot cleansing. It sounds like bot cleansing. Yeah.

Anyway, what am I talking about? Oh, I'm talking about that. So there's all these ways you can see how people are doing things online. Well, a lot of the business accounts have the insights that you're mentioning here. So you can see the unfollows. That's right. Someone shared on TikTok, though, the way to find out if someone's muted you from seeing their stories. So you just mentioned this during their stories. So I was,

you just mentioned this during the song and I was like, that's quite interesting and I've googled other ways that you can find out if somebody's muted your Instagram story. Well, I'll tell you my way first. Okay, because your way isn't on this list. Okay, so as a test, Vaughn has muted me. I've muted you

and I've also restricted you. But that's going to tell the Facebook algorithm. That we've got beef intention. That you've got a beef intention. Huge beef intention. Huge. Oh, gosh. Goodness.

Which is actually my DJ duo name. Okay. Beef intention. Yeah. You're going to be at Laneway next. It's not announced yet, though, but you will be at Laneway. Beef intention will be there. This hasn't worked.

This woman is a liar. So you can still see all my things? Wait, Shet. So the way that she said it works is that you head to their page. If I suspect that you've muted me, so I head to Vaughan Anonymous. And if you can't see their highlights, then they've muted you. But they do have to have highlights for this way to work. Shannon let Pajamas at the social media desk.

She'll know. We just gave her to go. So what you have to do is you have to hide them from your story. It's not muting. But if someone has hidden you from their story, so if you go to their profile, we just tested it, Carwen and I. So I hid Carwen from my story. She headed over to my Instagram.

You can see that I have a highlight there. But if you click into my highlight it says story unavailable. Right. How do you hide someone from your story? You've got to go into settings, don't you? It's a bit more... So just head to their profile and then the three dots up the top corner, click it, and there's a bunch

of options like block, restrict, but one of them is specifically just the words hide from story. I don't care if it hides stories from me, but I'd rather know if they blocked me. But if they've hidden a story from you, what are they doing? They're organising a nice surprise for me. They're out with your friends having fun they don't want

you to see. I panicked, I've reported your profile and I do not want you to see it. For once. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. She might lose her memo follow. No, I've got thousands from him. Let me see if I can undo that. Oh so sorry. I'm so sorry. She might lose her Momoa follow. No, I've got thousands from him. Let me see if I can undo that. Oh, sorry.

Jennifer Aniston's screaming at me. So this way says there are a couple of ways to find out if someone's muted. It's like so much effort. Like, I don't think we should be living like this, I'll just say. But if you want to find out if someone's muted you, you can add the person to a close friends list and then post a story for those close friends and then see if they see it. Right.

Or just post a story and see if they see it. Or just live your life and don't give a damn. Yeah, don't give a toot. Yeah, because the other thing they say is get a third party app, which I wouldn't recommend because then you're giving your password and log into an app. And then also. Don't give a toot. Because the other thing they say is get a third-party app, which I wouldn't recommend because then you're giving your password and log into an app. And then also... Don't give a toot. Just don't give a toot.

Your activity. Don't give a toot. You know, I'm trying to go like, how do I find who I've blocked? Because I don't think I've blocked anyone. There's a block. There is a block list. You can see who you've blocked. Right.

Does Jason Momoa still watch your stories? Oh, my God, does he still follow me? When you did your House Reno stories the other day, was he viewing them? I actually haven't looked for a while. Activity. Who's seen? Well, you just put up a picture of you with a horse.

You do have crazy horse girl energy, by the way. Dude, I always wanted to be a horsey woman. You got crazy. Chuck a tight French. Well, he rides horses. That'll be good for him. How do I find out if he still follows me? You go to his account and it'll say, like, following.

Will you follow each other or something? No, but I follow him. Imagine if he's unfollowed you because you're a bit much. Yeah, also, like, follow me in the heat of the moment. Following. How do I know? Oh, my God. He still follows you.

What are you, like, eight? Does he? Vorton just locked. Yeah. Yeah, and Shannon locked too. He still follows you. Does he? Vaughan just locked. Yeah. Yeah, and Shannon locked too. There you go. Wow. Oh, my God.

If you've just tuned in, I've got quite rude boobs this morning. Maybe we take a photo for Momoa if he's following. And I'll be like, hee, hee, hee. Hee, hee, hee. Turn up to work today wearing a bit of a revealing garb. Ready? This will be the unfollow. This will be the unfollow.

Hang on, let me just post my video. Oh, you're going to do a video? Hee hee hee, I've turned up to work today with just the most revealing garb. How embarrassing. But now everybody else is going to see that. I'm like, what about the people that you didn't want to see that? Like the pervy, there might be some pervy people. Can I not post that?

No. I mean, it's completely up to you. It's a shame if he was to miss out. Add him to your close friends and add it to your close friends. But un-add me from your close friends before you put him in your life. I'm getting enough of an eyeful of them already. No offence. The date was the 21st of August 2009.

Told you. You were right about the date. A brand new comedy show. Told you. Brat. You're such a brat today. A brand new comedy show aired and took New Zealand by storm. 400 episodes later

as of tonight. It still remains 7 Days and one of our favourite 7 Days panellists, an absolute icon of the show is Dai Hemwood and he joins us on the phone. Morena Dai. Oh, Morena. That was a beautiful little intro

there. It was a long time ago. All I can remember about that first episode was I chose to wear a piano key tie. Oh, for God's sake. And this is Ben Hurley was on the show, and this is where we quickly discovered you shouldn't try and prepare humorous gags. I thought that he could, I'd hold my tie out and he could pretend to play Billy Joel songs on it. And that was the only part of the show that didn't get a laugh.

Yeah, right. You just tried too hard. So tonight, the 400th episode, do you know exactly how many you've been a part of? No, because before they sort of changed the format and moved me and Paul sort of off the team captains, I think we'd done about 320 or 330. Wow.

But it had been a hell of a lot of shows. And it was actually, it's been an amazing thing being a part of that show and building that show and creating that show because it sort of just became a platform for so many awesome comics to come through. And I've just witnessed sort of, particularly I think from 2009, there's been just this rise of New Zealand comedy in so many different styles.

And people are just smashing it now. And it's so cool that so many of them have been a part of Seven Days. It was nice that Jeremy Corbett was on a TV show that wasn't cancelled after two seasons. Yeah, it is nice for him to get a break. Well, they call him the airline host because he's always rooting pilots. Because he...

He had destroyed quite a few pilots along the way. Oh, Corby! But this one stayed. Nah, he's all right. I think he's doing all right. You know, I'm going to take a guess. I reckon Colby's doing all right. I think he's doing okay.

I think he's doing all right. You're so right, though. For so many comedians, it's been such, not only a goal, but such a launch pad. I remember getting on my first episode being so nervous because it was such an established thing, you know, in the comedy crown, and I was so excited. And it's fun to do.

Vaughan, you've done it. It is fun. It's chaos. Not for a while, though. You haven't been invited back for a few years. That's all right. But it is one of those things, the first time you're on it, you just are part of it, and you just kind of find yourself

sitting and watching and laughing, and then oh that's right i'm supposed to be doing things as well oh and what what i what i've been so stoked about is over the years we've had awesome comics um from the uk come over which is sort of the home of these huge panel shows like nine out of ten cats and um all that sort of carry. And they say they love Seven Days because it's a fun, generous environment. Like in the UK, it gets a bit competitive and people are just trying to talk over everyone because they need to be the star because da-da-da-da-da. And Seven Days actually ends up, as Hayley and, you know, Vaughan,

like where we, even stuff that doesn't make the show, we're just talking rubbish because everyone's actually having quite a lot of fun out there. It's so funny now that the show's on at 7.30 because it started right, like, 10 o'clock and then it was 9.30, then a bit earlier, and now it's 7.30. And I've done a few of the 7.30 shows now, and you'll go, you know what's just for the room and what's for the cut.

Yeah, but sometimes you've just got to get it out. Oh, yes, I mean, better out than out. You've got to get out. And it was weird you were talking about your first time on the show. Also, Mel Bracewell, who's on the show tonight, I was thinking she came on like as an apprentice or something. She was doing something and she would have been like 17 or something. She was doing something, and she would have been like 17 or something. She was very young.

Had some people come on the show sort of right at the start of their comedy careers. And then there's people who were sort of regulars like Rose Matifeo who, you know, has just gone on to huge stuff overseas and Ursula. Yeah. It's just pretty amazing. The biggest moment is the fact that we had that, you know,

the guy, the brother from Married With Children who played Bud Bundy? Yeah. He was on the show once. I don't remember that. What was he in town for? He was randomly on as a panelist. As a panelist? Was he here for, like, some Armageddon or something?

Or was he filming something? No, yeah, he was here for one of those Armageddon things. Yeah, right. Where he's weirdly at the Married With Children table, which no one, no one under 30, no one's dressed up as Peggy Bundy. Wow. So the 400th episode tonight, looking forward to it.

Who's on the show tonight? Yourself, Hayley? Yeah, on my team is a captain by Mel Bracewell. It's me and Harley Breen from Australia. And then, Di, you're captaining Team 2? Team 2, I'm captaining the wonderful Lana Walters and Ben Hurley. So we had so much fun filming this, and it's going to come together as a great show. We finished the first break, like the first section,

went to an ad break, and we were like, I reckon there's 90 seconds that can make it to air. We were having so much fun. It was absolutely ridiculous. And I think there's a little bit of a treat at the end, isn't there? You give us quite the performance, Di. Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah, I do. I'm unmistakable from Marilyn Monroe and one of her iconic moments. So look forward to that. Well, tonight on three at 7.30. It is indeed. Di, thank you so much as always. I look forward to that. Well, it's tonight on three at 7.30. It is indeed. Di, thank you so much as always. I love talking to you.

Have a beautiful day. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. So I found this story on a UK news site and I was like, I don't think this is a thing that happens in New Zealand when it comes to weddings. It's a story about how cancellations account for three quarters of wedding insurance claims. Wedding insurance?

Yes. And I've Googled in the UK. It's a big thing. You insure your wedding. Just in case something happens. So you can't get insurance payouts if you get cold feet. Right. But you can insure everything from like like, if your caterer went bust,

if the wedding venue went bust. What about weather events? I don't know about weather, but if, like, a caterer failed to turn up or a photographer, serious illness, like maybe someone broke their leg or, like, got a terminal illness. Right. They'll pay out, but not for cold feet. So if you decided, I can't do this anymore, they won't pay out for that.

But cancellation. And so anywhere policies I found from £30 up to £300. We've got it. Do we? So we've got an eventcover.co.nz. You can put wedding insurance on an event cover. How much do you reckon a wedding costs you can do anything

from like 200 bucks to whatever because if you ever heard with average New Zealand wedding costing in excess of 30,000 I've never heard

of any of this like even it being a thing in the UK but it makes sense right one cover travel insurance if you're travelling for a wedding

yeah I just saw that that seems to be a popular one googling travel insurance New Zealand six ways to protect your big day but it's kind of like insuring the dress if you're travelling for a wedding? Yeah, I just saw that. That seems to be a popular one, Googling travel insurance New Zealand. Six ways to protect your big day, but it's kind of like insuring the dress if you're travelling. Right. Because it costs more than you.

Yeah, but that would be under your travel insurance. Well, that is, this is specific wedding travel insurance. Right. So yeah, mostly like weather stuff, disasters, unforeseen circumstances. Wedding cover can cost as little as $200 for bronze, $1,000 for a platinum level of cover. $10,000 of cover will cost you,

oh, you can do a honeymoon cover in addition. Right. Photographer or videographer, if your negatives or the film, if you're on film or your video files got lost or damaged. So they would give you money and you would restage it? You'd restage it.

We'll pay for the expenses incurred to retake photos. Would you restage your wedding photos knowing that it's not the day? God, no. Like, would you bother?

And you've done everything you can to fit into that dress. But the people the next day it's not going up. The people that do their wedding photos before their wedding

genius. So good. Because when you get out, you go straight from the ceremony to the reception. There's not that awkward part where the bride, the groom, and all the bridal party disappear for a couple of hours. Genius. And then the photographer can check they've actually got the files on the SD card. If they don't, they could always retake them.

Redo it, yeah. The policy will also cover loss if the wedding is cancelled or postponed due to a death of either a person in the couple or an immediate family member. Mother, father. Guys. What about an auntie? Not immediate. Just roll on. It's just a mother, father, right?

Yeah. Wow. I just had no idea that was a thing. But yeah, the stats out of the UK, 20% of couples call off their wedding. Somebody. Sorry? 20%. Yeah.

One in five. Is that like calling off an engagement or calling off the wedding? The wedding. Like I think they've announced it and then they call it off. But yeah, I don't think insurance won't cover that. That's cold feet. Someone said adding insurance is massive in the UK. When you go to wedding fairs, there's like, you go to a wedding fair here,

it's dresses and flowers and photographers and everything. But you go there and there's heaps of insurance providers telling you about the perks of getting wedding insurance with them. Really? Insurance in the UK is just huge in general. It's illegal not to have car insurance. I'm a big fan of third party being as part of registration. Because that's the thing in Australia, right?

When you pay for your rego, it gives you third party. It's America. Is it America? License and registration. I think registration's on insurance there. Yeah, right. Third party coverage. Well, there you go.

And I mean, yeah, maybe you've done a quick Google search. Maybe that would be not a bad idea. If you're having a big do, probably could be worth looking into. Next on the show. We're going to cross over to Chanelette Pajamas, as we like to do, who hit a milestone yesterday that she shared with the group. Something that people in their 20s don't normally do. No.

This is normally something for 80-year-olds, I think. No, but we're very pleased for her and we want to share it with the nation. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We are just so happy for our craft queen, Chanelette Pyjamas, who has been making some lofty promises, actually. I'm getting a vest

crocheted for me. Yeah, she made you a little Yoda, which, by the way, was a Grogu. Oh, what is it? Same thing. Not the same thing. Some Star Wars. I mean, either way, way was a Grogu. Or what is, same thing. Not the same thing.

Some Star Wars. I mean, either way it was knitted and made, or crocheted, sorry, outside of trademark. Now. But she didn't sell it. She didn't sell it. Now what we're doing is we're not actually talking about what happened yesterday.

Please bring in the lawyers. For Disney. No, but chandelier pyjamas, you're very crafty. Imagine if the lawyers from Disney walked in and they were like, hi-ho, hi-ho. And they got little pickaxes. It's off the court, we go. But Shannon, do you knit?

Do you crochet? Crochet. So crochet is one hook, knitting is two. Of course. Oh, of course. You idiot fool. Yeah, who didn't know that? Now, how old are you for the listeners?

I'm turning 24 next week. So 23. Wait, what day is your birthday? We've been over this, I'm three days before you Why did we hire her? She's too close to my birthday Well three days before and also like 20 years behind So don't worry about it He's old You're in your 40s

Don't steal my thunder is all I'm saying. Just keep in your lane. I'm sorry. You're going to have a good 40 years after he's dead to be the person that's working for you. Because I know that you've been working on a lot of projects. Sometimes you wear them. You've got your vests and your cardis and all sorts.

You knitted, you crocheted a big... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's like when people say marching is cheerleading and it's so insulting. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's like when people say marching is cheerleading and it's so insulting. I'm sorry. I'll get over it. Yeah, cheerleaders are hot.

You would be one of the first people to say that marching girls aren't hot. Have you seen these leather boots and short skirts? Anyway, you crocheted this dickhead a little yoga thing and you're making all sorts. Yoga? No, you're completely wrong. Yoda. Yoga!

I've been making a lot of projects. So, yeah, Hayley, I'm going to make you a vest and I've just started a project for Carwin's birthday. Oh my god, hang on. What are you doing for Fletch? He's next. Well, I was going to make Murray a hat, but Fletch said that Murray doesn't like hats. He doesn't wear hats. He doesn't wear hats.

He might do a vest, but please, should that Murray doesn't like hats? He doesn't wear hats. He doesn't wear hats. He might do a vest, though. Let's do him a little cute vest. That would be quite cute. He will hate that. He'll be like, bright pink or something. I'll do some research. Yeah, okay, that would be nice. He should make him a little military outfit.

He is major. Oh, yes, he is major. Oh, okay. My brain's ticking over. I'll have some research. Now, for a 23-year-old, you frequent Spotlight quite a bit. A lot. And you were very excited in the group chat yesterday when you messaged.

Yes. So, yeah, I have spent genuinely thousands at Spotlight over the last few years. Good for you. Does Spotlight get the craft market cornered right? Yes, 100%. Like, where else can you go for supplies? Look sharp, but it's not good quality. Yeah, there's no yarn supply like a Spotlight.

And I'm trying to get big Spotlight money here. Hashtag non-spawn, but hashtag open to spawn. Open to spawn. But yes, I go to the same one every time. There's this one lady and we see each other. Because I go at midday, which is peak old person hour. So I think I'm the only person there who's sub-60. Still menstruating. I am the only person there who's sub-60. Still menstruating.

I am the only menstruator in the building. But yesterday I was buying some yarn and as I was walking out, so their points program's called VIP. And she's like, you're a VIP, Shannon, aren't you? And I was like, yes, I am. Because she knew your name. Name and VIP status identified.

You're a spotlight VIP. Big 30% off and she knew your name. Name and VIP status identified. Wow. You're a spotlight VIP. So I got a big 30% off and she knew my name. Shannon. And I walked out and I got a bit shaky and I was like, this is a big moment for me. She knows your name. I am like a crocheter now. I feel like I've made it.

You're a VIP. You truly are. It's like, it's nice, but it's also a really sad indication that you go to a place a lot when they know your name. Like Hayley in the pub. Oh my God, yeah, Haletau. That's our local.

We go there all the time. We know their names and they know us and where we like to sit and what we like to eat and drink. I love it. I love that feel. I know what you mean. You're like having a local. It just felt special.

But then the only thing I always think about is, does she think I have a job? Because I go at midday, which is traditional, not young person hours, and I spend my entire paycheck there. So I don't know what she thinks I do, asides crochet. But she asks for updates on all my projects. She'll be like, oh, what's this?

And then I show her photos. She's going to be very excited when you tell her you're knitting a cat vest. I know, I think she'll be into it. If you want to check out any of Shannon's stuff, by the way, Shannon J. Trim on Instagram, because you did that temperature blanket. Yeah.

That was cool. That was huge. It took me 365 hours. So 365 lines and the colour of each line indicated the average temperature in Auckland that day. Yeah, and then so it faded through all the colours. And what did I say to you when you got the job? I said, you should do one of those

about Fletcher's moods every day next year. We did. It was one of the first things Vaughn ever said to me. Ranging from... Hello, red. Ranging from... Yeah, just different shades of red. It would just be a red blanket.

Wow, a beautiful red crochet blanket. That's a very red crochet blanket. I thought I was in a good mood today. It was supposed to be a mood regulator. Thank you. And if I make you a vest, then there'll be this one perfect green line. Yeah, great. That stays when there are cakes.

I want to know, maybe we could take some calls and get some texts in of where are you a regular? Where do they know your name? And maybe it's not, you know, there are always your local pubs and whatnot, but maybe there's somewhere like Shannon in Spotlight. Maybe you frequent the pharmacy a lot. Maybe you're somewhat of a hypochondriac. They're like, hello, Hayley, what is it now? Yeah, you walk in, ding, ding, and they look up and they're like, oh, God.

He's here. Vaughan's here. I can't give you any more hydrochloric. Mitre 10's mine. Yes. Shaday's like, well, Shaday came with me once and they were like, hey, Vaughan, how's it going? Talking to the boss, Big Dave. I was talking to Big Dave and someoneade's like, well, Sade came with me once, and they were like, hey, Warren. I was like, how's it going? Talking to the boss, Big Dave.

I was talking to Big Dave, and someone else was like, oh, what's Warren in for? Yeah. Sade's like, this is getting out of hand. Yeah. Well, you're a local. You're a regular. They know your name.

So 0800DARNZ. We want to take your calls now. Text us 9696. Where are you a regular? Where they know you by name. Shannon at the social media desk is a spotlight VIP, and now they even know her name. They even know her name.

So we want to know where you are a regular. Where do they know your name? Yes, where everybody knows your name. It's a good feeling, isn't it? Yeah. It's a good feeling. Jo, where are you a regular? Where do they know your name?

Oh, my local library. Are they still around, are they? They are, but they've got apps now, and this is the really cool part. So you can order your books online. So it's like online shopping, but cheap, so, you know, win-win. Yeah. But it got into a point now where I've ordered so many books

that the librarian puts them in a wee brown paper baggie for me and just kind of has it ready for me to pop in and grab all my books. Aww. Remember when you were young and fun, Joanne? You got drugs in a brown paper bag and now it's only books. You turn up and they drop it in your car window. It's fun. Hey, man.

Hey, man. Money, money, honey. Sweet, sweet, sweet. Jo, thanks. You're called Dee. Whereabouts do they know your name? Where are you a regular? I'm a regular at the Botany Night Market at a dumpling stall,

and they'll see me at the back of the line, and she'll wait for me and get my order ready with my food. That is the life, Dee. That is the life. Dude, dude, dude. She cuts in some freebies as well. What's she cutting for a freebie? Some extra dumplings or has she got a little side specialty that they're getting in there?

She puts in extra dumplings every time and quite often some spring rolls as well. Oh, my God. You must be hot because as an ugly person, you don't get that. I get so much free stuff. Oh, you find you do. Botany night market. Why were you at night market?

I might see you there. I love a night market. Oh, yeah. I justany Night Market. Why were you at Night Market? I might see you there. I love a Night Market. Oh, yeah. I just love dumplings. They're a good dumpling, Dee? They are the best dumplings ever. I love them. Get a plug in for them if she's giving you freebies.

What dumpling place is this? What's the store? They don't want to be one, do they? I don't know what it's called. It's just got a bunch of photos around it. It doesn't have a name. No, if you look at the botany place, yeah, they look... Yeah, the photo dumpling spot. The photo dumpling spot.

The photo dumpling spot. There we go. Do you do pan fried or steamed? Don't come around here with your steamed. Pan fried. What's wrong with a steamed? Pan fried rules. Pan fried rules.

Why not turn down a steamed dumpling if that's all there is? No, steamed has a time and a place. Prawn. Oh, these botany night markets look good. But these are the travelling night markets. They go to all corners. They go all over the place. All right.

Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dials at M. Where are you a regular? Where do they know your name? I want dumplings. Breakfast dumplings? I want breakfast dumplings. We are, one, very excited about dumplings and food and little crayfishes.

And two, we are wanting to know where you're a regular, where everybody knows your name. Yeah, Shannon's a VIP at Spotlight She is, they know her by name They know her name now And it's a good feeling Moresby, good morning Hey, good morning How are you?

I love this name We love your name Same Oh, thank you Moresby's a rad name And then that's why we got excited about Little Crayfish Because I said, is that those little You know those little

Bugs Bugs That's Morton Bay Bugs Oh, not Moresby. Not Moresby. Port Moresby is in Papua New Guinea. Are you named after Port Moresby? One of my ancestors, that's where the name started, yeah.

Wow. Cool, man. And so when you go to a place, do they know your name is Moresby, or does this cause problems? The problem isn't going into the shop. It's actually when I'm on the phone. So at my local fish and chip shop, they go, oh, the order is, who's the order for? And I go, Moresby, how do you spell that?

So I was sick of that. So what I've started doing is saying, oh, it's for John. Oh, yeah. I go into the fish and chip shop now and they go, oh, order for John. Hey, John, how are you? And I'm like, who the hell is John? So you're a regular. They know your name, but it's not your name.

You're looking at their life. Hey, Moresby, did you know that John Moresby is who Port Moresby is named after? Oh, no way. That's a history lesson for me. So then the history is you're using John. You are John. John Moresby. Paul Moresby. You're named after that place.

It was meant to be, eh? But you also do this, Vaughan, because even Vaughan's hard to spell for some people. You just say Smith, don't you? Moresby, thanks. You call some messages in. Hold on, I'm just going to go back to the tab because now I'm quite interested in the history of this John Moresby character. He looks like the sort of guy that might have committed

a few atrocious colonialisation crimes. Oh, dear. I'm going to say I kind of feel like I want to have a baby now so I can call him Moresby. It's a rad name. Moresby Courtesy. Dude. He's going to fight crime.

I want to get pregnant so bad. Just get another cat or a dog. A dog would be a Moresby. Rolly and Moresby. Moresby would be a rad name for a dog. A dog would be a... Rolly and Moresby. Moresby would be a rad name for a dog. I want more pets. But remember, you don't want a dog. I don't want a dog.

No. I want a dog, but I don't want a dog. Liquorland. I'm a regular there, and they know to ask for my ID because it just makes me feel special, and I always love getting it out for them even though they know me. Imagine being a regular at a liquor store, Hayley. So my liquor store,

my dude, he is kind of like a notoriously grumpy dude but when I walk in I get a smile and I'll go to the fridge to get a Prosecco and he'll be like,

oh no, no, no, Aaron's already been in. Yeah, and I'll be like, oh sweet, and I know that Aaron's just popped in before and got me a Prosecco. He's a good boy.

He is a good boy. But yeah, we're regulars. It's a small community. A lot of takeaway boy. But yeah, we're regulars. It's a small community. A lot of takeaway shops. That's good because you want to know. Support local. My local dairy knew my name when I

was 16 and buying smokes in 2018 and then when I turned 18 it was like a little bit of a story that I was turning 18 and they told me off. They waggled their finger. They said you lied to me. I bet you they still sold you the cigs though, didn't they? I went to a pe I was turning 18 and they told me off. They waggled their finger. They said you lied to me. I bet you they still sold you the cigs though, didn't they? I went to a peaches and cream store and they knew my name. That was confronting, but I mean, good for you.

I'm a tradie, so I'm a local at the tool shed and the desk lady calls me darling and I call her mum. I spend way too much money there. In the history of this John Moresby character, he looks like the sort of this John Moresby character, he looks like the sort of guy that might have committed a few atrocious colonialisation crimes. Oh, dear. I'm going to say I kind of feel like I want to have a baby now

so I can call him Moresby. It's a rad name. Moresby Courtesy. Dude. He's going to fight crime. I want to get pregnant so bad. Just get another cat or a dog. A dog would be a Moresby.

Rolly and Moresby. Moresby would be a rad name for a dog. I want more pets. But remember, you don't want a dog. I don't want a dog. No. I want a dog, but I don't want a dog. Liquorland.

I'm a regular there and they know to ask for my ID because it just makes me feel special and I always love getting it out for them even though they know me. Imagine being a regular at a liquor store, Hayley. So my liquor... My dude, he is kind of like a notoriously grumpy dude, but when I walk in, I get a smile.

And I'll go to the fridge to get a Prosecco, and he'll be like, oh, no, no, no, Aaron's already been in. Yeah, and I'll be like, oh, sweet. And I know that Aaron's just popped in before and got me a Prosecco. He's a good boy. He is a good boy. But yeah, we're regulars. It's a good boy. He is a good boy. But yeah, we're regulars. It's a small community.

A lot of takeaway shops. That's good because you want to know. Yeah. Support local. My local dairy knew my name when I was 16 and buying smokes in 2018

and then when I turned 18 it was like a little bit of a story that I was turning 18 and they told me off. They waggled their finger. They said you lied to me. I bet you they still sold you the cigs though, didn't they?

I went to a peaches and cream store and they knew my name. That was confronting, but I mean, good for you. I'm a tradie, so I'm a local at the tool shed and the desk lady calls me darling and I call her mum. I spend way too much money there. Well, if you are just joining us for the first time this week, so much has happened. You've missed a stellar week so far, but we're glad you're here now.

But I'm back on the keto buzz, which I've done like periodically on and off, and I know it's a dumb diet. Don't message in and be like, oh, you know, it's bad for you. I was literally listening to a podcast this week, and they were not saying nice things about it. Oh, I know it's a dumb diet. You don't message and be like, oh, you know. I know, I was literally listening to a podcast this week and they were not saying nice things about it. Oh, I know. It's always like,

the worst diet of 2022, keto. Because it's, what is it? It's hardly any carbs. Very, very low carbohydrates. But for me, with polycystic ovary syndrome,

it's very good for my hormones. And I'll say it. I've got to do it. I've got a sad hormonal body at the moment. Well, you've got to find what works for you. You do indeed.

And depriving myself of bread works for me. It's day four and then yesterday, it's all been going well because, you know, I've been on this cake show. I sort of didn't want to eat any carbs for a while. And then yesterday I was recording Seven Days, which is on tonight, 7.30, 400th episode. And usually they've got big catering that comes in. It's like trays, there's always like two meats

and three salads and breads and pudding. Yesterday, and I was like, I won't make dinner. I'll be able to make together something low carb while I'm there. I got there. It's a butter chicken. Well, that's just a shake. Just get a bit of chicken on the fork.

Could you mind sucking this off, Ben Hurley? Can you suck the sauce off? Or could you, like, fork a bit of butter chicken and just run it under the tap? Yeah, you could do that if you were really sad. When I see people steam chicken, I'm like, grow up. You also put some flavour on it. Yeah.

And then rice, they had big, like, garlic buttery naans. They did have some salads, but they were, like, like couscousy and da-da-da-da. And then at the end. This is dangerous. Knowing seven days catering is you, and you eat carbs and then you just feel sleepy. Dude, the seven days catering is some of the best in the biz, but it's always heavy as. And you go out like. I've got some jokes about the week.

You might as well have a couple of beers And then you have a couple of beers And you're like I know It's the same reason If you're ever planning a big night out with friends You don't do a BYO Or an Indian

Or an Indian No, no, no Because you can't push on after that Everybody's going home Indian is the end of the night It's the end of the night Yes And at the end of the line of the catering table

I was like okay I'm stuffed here a little bit. About to crumble. I saw banoffee pie. That's me. That's my... Dude, banoffee pie rules. That's my pie.

Right. That's my pie. Now, yesterday was day three of keto. Yesterday was day three of keto. Right. And I was like, butter chicken is keto. Someone just messaged it. No, it's not.

It's got too much honey or sugar. And cream? Is cream keto? No, cream's not. It's got too much honey or sugar. And cream? Is cream keto? No, cream's keto. Oh, okay. Cream's fine. Lots of curries are without the rice and stuff, but butter chicken, no, no, no, too sweet. Anyway, so I was like, I'll just have to go without.

Yeah. And then luckily with seven days you can choose, because I'm tired and I work in the mornings, you can choose to like drive in and get a car park or they'll Uber you home. And I Ubered in because I was feeling so tired. So I was like, sweet, well, I've Ubered. I'll just drink four vodka sodas. They were Long Island's. Long Island's?

I think so. You know, like canned vodka sodas. Wait, so you're on this canned, but you're allowed vodka soda? You're allowed vodka soda. Long Island, Long White. Long White. Yeah. Not Long Island. I said I had four.

I was like you had four Long Island iced teas on an empty stomach. How are you here today? No, no, no, no, no. I had four vodka sodas. Right. During the show. Right. And then you know afterwards, if you've had a few and you've got an empty stomach, I was trying to put some jokes together

at the end. You'll hear me sort of pitter out during the show. Yeah. Well, I'm like, oh, gosh, I have had four vodka sodas, haven't I? On an empty stomach. Yeah. And then I was like, it's always those times that you feel like telling your Uber driver to just like swing in and get me some food somewhere. But I didn't.

And I got home and it was like 9.30 at this point. And I'm already tired and a little bit sloshied. And so I had a panic cook. But I beat it and all I cooked up was four slices of halloumi and I had some lettuce. I thought you were going to say you got home and demolished a handbag chip.

No, I didn't have a bachelor's handbag. You can eat those on keto, eh? I had ham and stuff. I had eggs and I'd made Aaron an omelette earlier and I was like, I should do that. I'm so surprised you didn't cave in.

I know. The willpower, well done. That was really amazing. Because you know me. Yeah. I think I'll cave like that. Yeah. I could literally be like,

hey guys, I'm going to pull it and you'll be like, latkes? I'd be like, yep. Yeah. Brunch? Yep. Let's go.

Yep. So, yeah, first hurdle crossed. Congratulations. Thank you. And feeling good. Have you ever, because this happened to me yesterday, because when you started talking about that,

I was like, oh, bachelor's handbag. Because I got home and I was in a hurry to turn it around and get out of the house again. And I just started eating the chicken straight out of the bag. Now, it had gone cold. It wasn't a fresh hottie. It was a couple of days. And do you ever do that thing where you're just demolishing a chook,

straight chook, nothing else, just chook. And you're going that thing where you're just demolishing a chook? Straight chook. Nothing else. Just chook. And you go in both hands and you're just kind of going mouthful after mouthful. And you'd swallow it and you're just like Because it's so dry. It's so dry. Oh no, that's not. And afterwards you feel like you've had a throat workout.

So that's pretty much the same as going to the gym. Is it? And you've demolished half a chip. Is it? You use so many calories trying to digest the dry chip. God, they go dry, eh? Well, there we go. Well, there you go. Congratulations. Four days Thank you so much. Of

healthy eating? Well, just keto. It's not really that healthy, but it's a vibe and I'm doing it. Well, I feel like the nation's along for the ride now, so. Yeah, they are. Do you know what I've also realised? Next weekend we're off for a big birthday trip.

All of us and a huge group of our friends are going to New Plymouth. Yes. I'm on keto. What can you drink, tequila? I can drink all sorts of spirits. Yeah, no, I can drink tequila. I'm not changing the bookings. Tequila rules.

No, but we've got bookings at these nice restaurants that are delicious. And mum are going to be eating handbag chook. Well, you can bring it. B-Y-O. Can you bring it? I'll have to put a handbag chook in my handbag. It's a roundabout. Instead of these restaurants just picking at it.

Well, last night I was pulling the blinds. I've got roller blinds. That must be nice. What's a roller blind? I've just got curtains. It's just roller blinds. Curtains on rails and they don't even have the little slidey things. They're just hoops.

Do you need to borrow some money? No, no, no. They're just roller blinds. I was putting them down and then I noticed the apartment building over from mine. Which you can really see in. You can really see in. I mean, when you live. I can't believe you haven't got a telescope.

Do you know that is the number one thing people say? Even at your last place. Every single time people come to my house, they're like, do you have a telescope? You should get a telescope. Yeah. It's like, do you realize how pervy that is? I don't care. Yeah, they don't know.

That last apartment you had that was literally like celebrity squares. Yeah. Your room faced out to this just like open side. It's kind of like that. And there was hundreds of apartments in there. You could have just been like, what's 5C up to today? It's kind of like that now. 5C with hot.

5C's very hot. But it's kind of like that now. But when you live in apartments and, 5C is very hot. But it's kind of like that now. But when you live in apartments and you live in the city, you just, I don't know, you just, meh. You just kind of forget about. Yeah, totally. You walk around nude or leave the blinds open. It doesn't matter.

What's it to you? That's why the person over the road that you're talking about now is looking back into your apartment. That's why they've got a telescope. So closing the blinds last night, and I noticed one of the apartments over from mine in the apartment building has got new curtains. Have they?

Must be nice. Must be nice. And they are purple. What kind of purple? Violently purple. Come again? Violently purple. One more time. Violently purple. Sorry, I'm going to need to hear it again. Purple curtains. Purple curtains. And now I can't stop. I put the blinds up. Sorry, I'm going to need to hear it again. Purple curtains.

Purple curtains. And now I can't stop. Like, I put the blinds up this morning. I'm like, purple curtains. Over the road. Wait, they're so violently purple when you left home at 4.50 a.m. Yeah, I can see the purple. You can see the violent purple curtains.

Wait, so even the backing is purple. So the backing's purple. No, the backing should always be white or black. A lot of buildings have rules. You might not know this, but they have the body corp rules. Aesthetics. You can't leave your washing or towels hanging out the window because it looks like a slum, that kind of thing.

Quite like that. You don't want a slum. And all curtains, I mean, in our building, all curtain backings or blinds have to be white. So from the street, it looks nice. But I don't know if they're... It's purple. What do I do?

You're going to have to say something. You have every right to enjoy your life in this apartment. And there's encroachment. You've put a lot of money into your place. You did the bathroom up. Can I take them to court? Like, it's ruining my life. Now, you recently got some curtains done, some nice linens, some linens. You've put a lot of money into your place. You did the bathroom up. Can I take them to court? It's ruining my life.

Now, you recently got some curtains done, some nice linens, some linens. Yeah, they've got a white backing. Because that's the building rules. Because that's the rules. You need to get in touch with this building and see what their rules are. This person may be in breach of their building rules. Could you do like... Do I want to be the guy that's like, hey, someone's breaking the rules, they've got purple curtains.

But do you want to be the guy who has to open up his window in his inner city apartment as he is privileged to have? And see Grimace splattered against the window. It's Grimace Purple. It's Grimace Purple? It's Grimace Purple. It's like a little brighter Grimace. Like purple, purple.

Barney. Take your winking. It's Barney, no, it's Barney Purple. It's Barney Purple. It's Barney Purple. It's Barney Purple. Barney. Okay, it's Barney. No, it's Barney purple. It's Barney purple. It's Barney purple. It's Barney purple. Because, you know, Barney purple's a bit more pinky purple.

There's a dark Cadbury purple. Yes. And a rich dark Cadbury purple. Which is similar to Grimace. And Grimace. And Tinky Winky. But Barney the dinosaur, it's that. It's exactly that.

More pinky purple. It's pinky purple. Fuchsia. Yes. Fuchsia. Or maybe it's a little bit more Grimace-y purple. A little bit more Grimace. Let me pull up a. More pinky purple. It's pinky purple. Fuchsia. Fuchsia. Or maybe it's a little bit more grimace-y purple. A little bit more grimace. Let me pull up a grimace purple.

You do grimace, I'll do tinky-winky. If Barney and Grimace had a baby. That would be cute. It would be a half. Terrifying monstrosity. It's tinky-winky. Hold on. Or maybe it's more tinky-winky purple.

I'll bring up a canterly purple. Grimace has been different purples. But this is. But it also could be the light exposure. Or he's a different colour in the Grimace has been different purples, but this is... But it also could be the light exposure. Well, he's a different colour in the summer. Yeah. Or he tans, doesn't he? He's also faded.

Oh, you see, maybe it's more like that. There's Cadbury purple. Oh. No, but Cadbury, there's three different shades of purple. No, Cadbury purple's too dark. Anyway, it's a violent... I mean, regardless. It's disgusting.

If it falls on the purple scale, it shouldn't be good. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know. Thank you. I know. I know. It's really upsetting. I know. Thanks, hon. What are we going to do?

Could you do like a line, you know, like throw a line from your apartment to theirs and like pulley system them a note being like, hey, what's with the purple? Like I don't even know. Like I don't even know. Throw an arrow at them a note straight through their window. No, but I don't even know what letterbox. You could get into the letterboxes in that apartment. You'd have to work it out.

You'd have to work out what window and apartment it is. Yeah. Could we spend the weekend going around knocking on every door as if we're Mormons or something? Oh, yeah. And then as we do that, looking over the shoulder.

Could you buzz us in? We're here on behalf of Jesus. Yes. And then we can get little badges made at Mr. Minute. Elder Smith. But what are you saying when they open the door? Are you just like, we hear about Jesus? By the way, I think you're in breach of building regulations with your purple curtains.

We could say that Jesus hated the colour purple. And it brings you nothing but bad luck. Done. Brilliant. Okay, do you have a nice suit? Yeah, I do have a nice suit. I've never seen a female Mormon missionary. I recently just purchased a lovely Karen Walker black suit.

It's perfect. Yeah, but I don't think they do females because they're too tempting on the road. Imagine you hold up in a motel with a hot female missionary. Yeah, with Aldous Brow. Aldous Brow. Aldous Brow. God. Is there female missionaries?

Jesus, I should not have just Googled do Mormon females do missionary. That is for sure. I should have put missionary work on the end. Missionary work. Missionary work. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day Do tell

Is the story of Crazy George Henderson Okay Born May 6th, 1944 He's a professional cheerleader Who in 1979 created The wave The stadium wave The what wave, the stadium wave, the what was called the Mexican wave.

Oh, cancel. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, puppy. Hands off, hands off. Good Lord. Now, I Googled why was it called the Mexican wave. Oh, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's not a swear word to say Mexican. Oh, hey, hey, hey. Apologies to our Mexican listeners. Huge apologies, but this is why I'm going to explain to you why it was called that, but why it should never have been called that. Is your next fact about whispers? Inaudible whispers? We call that the game of telephone now.

Telephone line. Thank you. So it's called, now I'll tell you why it's called the Mexican Wave now and then tell you why it should never have been. It was known as the Mexican Wave because it was first seen internationally broadcast on television at the 1986 World Cup in Mexico City. Oh, okay, okay. So that's why.

It was the first exposure that the world en masse had to the wave, the stadium wave. Now let me tell you how crazy George Henderson invented the wave. Oh, crazy George. This guy was, when he was at college, he was in the judo team but also loved cheerleading. And he put a lot of time into going to other sports games when he was attending the California State University in San Jose.

And he would get out there and he would hype the crowd up. Okay. There was a cheerleader in him. Yeah. And so one of his moves was a part where he'd go in front of the crowd and he'd count down and then everybody stood up. Everybody in the stadium. Yep.

All stood up at once. Hey! Like that. Yeah. the stadium. Yeah. All stood up at once. Hey! Like that. Yeah. Good fun. Yeah. So on October 15th, 1981, he was at the Oakland Athletics American League

Championship Series game against the New York Yankees. So this is baseball. And he says that he went, hey, to a part of the crowd, but that was only the part of the crowd that was paying attention. Yeah. And then the people next to them were like, oh, no, we've missed it.

Whoa. And then they stood up. And the people next to them were like, oh, no, we've missed it. It was organic. Wow. This organic creation. And he just watched it go around the stadium. He said goosebumps.

Yeah, I bet. I've got goosebumps. Absolute goosebumps. Yeah. So he was like, that rules way more than everybody standing up all at once. Yes. So then he said, next time, he said, what I'm going to do is I'm going to address this part of the crowd. And they're like, three, two, one.

Which is still, if you've been to a game lately at a stadium, this is how the wave starts. Yeah. And everybody stands up and wheeze. So was he Mexican? No. He was not Mexican. It was just that Mexican football game. The first time it ever happened was in 1981.

But these were all games of baseball and stuff. Baseball's massive in America and Japan loves baseball as well. But outside, not so much. But there was no bigger televised event. And even he got it to NHL games, NFL games. This guy, during his career as like a crowd

hype person, worked for NFL teams, NHL games, NFL games. This guy during his career as like a crowd hype person worked for NFL teams, NHL teams, NCAA teams. DHL? Huh? DHL? He went for DHL. He did a career run for them. Wow.

He worked for all of these different leagues going around and hyping them up. He went to the Olympics with the United States men's and women's national soccer teams. Wow. He went all around. But the first time that it was televised to the world, where he was there, hyping people up, was at the Mexican World Cup in Mexico City in 1986 for football. So the world saw it, and that was when the world,

and because it was in Mexico, it became known as the Mexican Wave. One of the worst feelings, eh, when you're at a game. We used to do it all the time at the Caketon in Wellington. Try and start a wave, and then it worst feelings, eh, when you're at a game. We used to do it all the time at the Cake Tin in Wellington. Try and start a wave and then it doesn't pick up and you're like, oh. You've got to wait until people are drunk. Yeah, but when you're like, three, two, one, what? Because then things get thrown. Some stadiums kind of ban them for a while and they don't like them.

Yeah. They crank at the Black Ferns. Yeah, that's why we have to pour everything into plastic cups now, people. Yeah, I know. Because people used to throw glass bottles. Maybe that's why they made stadium beers so expensive. It's coming around, you're like, do I throw it? Hell no, that's because of $11.

That's because of $11 and it's probably, you know, like 150 mils. Yeah, half a can. And it's very warm. If I don't drink it now, I'm not going to throw it. So today's fact of the day is The wave was invented by crazy George Henderson in 1981, but it's called the Mexican wave. Well, it was called the Mexican wave because the first time everybody saw it was on the televised 1986 World Cup in Mexico City.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Mariam. Mariam. Miriam Margwels, who's a strange British actress. Professor Sprout from the Harry Potter series. She's done lots. She looks like she'd be a fun grandma, man. She did that thing, which I've always wanted to do, with British Vogue. They sit down and go through, like, what's in your handbag, and you know the celebrities have absolutely curated it for a good look.

I know. I think for that to be genuine, you've got to surprise people and be like, okay, handbag, hand it over now. Like, if you went through mine, I've got, like, 50 grams of crumbs. Like, here's, like, some half a pill that snapped. There's a tooth floss. There's some Gaviscon wrappers. This thing that you've handed to me?

Yeah, a cellulite sucker, which I got sucked into buying. Which is ridiculous. But I do want to put it on my nipple just to see what happens. Yeah, it cellulite sucker which I got sucked into buying. Which is ridiculous. But I do want to put it on my nipple just to see what happens. Yeah, it looks like one of those cups. It does. That's what I thought it was. That they do in massage.

Yeah, apparently it sucks out your cellulite. It's BS and I'm embarrassed that I bought it. I thought it was a moon cup. Right. Here's a purple tampon that has come untwisted.

Good Lord, the fanny on that woman. You'd whistle in the wind, you know. What else have I got I've got A tag from A clothing I bought That I'm hiding from Aaron I don't want to see the tag How much it cost

Pills I mean this is all sorts If they did this I'd have to be honest Felt good on the nipple You should try it Fletch No I'll fail Did it

Felt pretty good on the nipple Give that a hoof on the nip If you can find them They're so smart Give that a push Jeez he's got abs in the butt Oh it's not going to stick to you You've got nothing to bloody stick to This guy No he's smooth. Give that a hoof on the nip. If you can find them, they're so smart. Give that a push. Jeez, he's got abs at the moment. Oh, it's not going to stick to you. You've got nothing to bloody stick to, this guy.

No, he's smooth. He's got a health kick. I'm embarrassed of that to my handbag. It's only there because I realise... Sometimes I'm jealous of handbags because you should get an adventure satchel, like the man bag. Why not?

You could do like the Indiana Jones adventure satchel. No, I mean, I know people do the bum bags. Yeah, that's a good one. But you're not a drug dealer, so I don't think you should. I always wonder what someone's peddling when they've got a bum bag over the shoulder. But they have become very fashionable in the last few years. But you go out and you just chuck everything in there, your chargers, battery packs, all the crap. Yeah, you guys just shove it in my hand there.

That's what Aaron does. And thank you. You're welcome. But I've got a bloody pinched nerve in my shoulder from carrying the weight of it. Anyway, Miriam was doing this, and the first thing she pulls out, she goes, now this is quite strange, but I do love them.

And she pulls out a tinfoil thing, unwraps it, it's an onion, and she just eats it. And she goes, I love onions. She's a raw onion snacker. She said she loves them. She's an unusual woman in the best possible way. She didn't place this in her handbag to be... No, it looks mank.

Like it's like half eaten and it was in a napkin. And like, I think she's done it for realsies. Yeah. I want to take some calls. What's the weirdest thing in your handbag right now? Right now... She's got an onion. I've got a cellulite sucker.

Will you be taking calls from men with adventure satchels? Yes. Okay. I'm not here to silence the male population listening. What is in your handbag right now? The oddest, most unusual thing. Yeah, maybe you've just got something you carry around. You're like, what's that doing in there?

Or you discovered it the other day. You were like, get the ball rolling with this text. I'm a bouncer and I was checking handbags at the club door and a girl had four potato and gravy stuffed in her bag and that was it. That was it. You get hungry on the dance floor. We've got a carload.

You don't want to run out of energy on the D floor. Some tates and grains ready to go, baby. Desperate to know the strangest thing in your handbag. Now, I just figured out that the cellulite sucker I've got cost me $69. Oh, my God. Nice. That is like an AliExpress buy for 42 cents.

Yeah. And it does nothing. Yeah. Yeah. That's society's fault. The patriarchy made me buy it. It's society. Stupid society. nothing. Yeah. Yeah. That's society's fault. The patriarchy made me buy it. It's society.

Stupid society. Anyway, I'm embarrassed that you own it, but we want to know the strangest thing in your handbag because actress Miriam Margles has an onion. From Harry Potter. Has an onion. Anonymous. Bianca, what's in your handbag right now?

The weirdest thing. Marina, so I have a crystal in my handbag that is wrapped with my childhood cats here she died a couple of years ago she was 19. what do you do what do you do what do you what are you doing what are you hoping to achieve with the old crystal wrapped in cats here uh she's just with me always you know i grew up with her um i was how old was i think i was about 23 when she died. Right. How did you get the... So the cat died, did you just shave a little

neck out or... Give it a brush. Okay, and then, right. I mean, who are we to judge? Yeah, so it's always there. I mean, I've seen Pet Sematary. I don't tango with the unknown and cat. Yeah, true. Bianca, thank you. Anonymous, good morning.

Hi. What is the weirdest, most unusual thing in your handbag right now? I currently have my partner's sperm sample in my handbag. Just so that he's always with you? Is it like the dead cat? Is it wrapped in a crystal? Are you testing it?

Yeah, we're about to get it tested. He recently had a vasectomy, so this is the eight-week testing. Oh, see if there's no swimmers in there. This is what I'm looking forward to about the vasectomy. See, the doctor-sanctioned self-pleasure sessions. Right, and so you take this in and they say there's no way it's working now. Yeah, the swimmers are going to do a swim camp. Right.

That's what we're hoping. Well, don't spill your handbag. I'm basically getting to the lab. Is there a time limit? Is it like dropping off a sample for fertility? You've got half an hour. Oh, go! Why are you talking about the radio station?

It's lovely to know within the last half hour your husband's played with himself. I can see why you went anonymous. Yeah, what's your husband's name? Male anonymous. I love you got a Harvard angle. I'm going to call the radio station. Let them know that old Stevie T had a little play with himself before work this morning.

I love that. That is so good. Well, best of luck. Yeah, good luck. Thanks, guys. Six minutes away from nine. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dial ZM.

The most unusual thing that's in your handbag right now. I don't know right now the weirdest thing that's in your handbag. If you, like Miriam Margoyles, have a onion in your handbag, we want to hear it. Who's she from Harry Potter? Professor Sprout. Yes. The herbologist. It's Vogue that do this with celebrities. Yeah, they end up in their handbags and they're always like

an Hermes handbag or something. Rebecca, what's the weirdest thing in your handbag right now? That is a pocket knife. What do you do with one of those? The classic slither army. Is that pocket knife. What do you do with one of those? I need to have a knife. The classic Swiss Army. Beautiful. Is that a protective measure or do you hunt? No, no, not at all.

I just, I think I got it given as a gift and ever since then I've just always kept it in there. You've got to, how long's the blade though? Because you can't take it on a plane if it's longer than six and a half centimetres long. Why is that? Because you can't stab someone with six plane if it's longer than six and a half centimetres long. Why is that? Because you can't stab someone with six centimetres.

What goes through a fire knife? Oh, right. What about if it's in the check luggage? You're absolutely allowed to put it in the check luggage. I just don't want you to get called out and lose your knife. It's secure. Does your pocket knife have the little tweezers or toothpick that pulls out? I love those.

Those are cute. They're amazing. They're so handy. Aaron bought me... I often use. They're amazing. They're so handy. I often use it for it was classic. I was at a child's birthday party a couple of months ago and they forgot a knife. So I pulled it out.

Yeah, because the kids toys come so bloody tied up now because they don't want little buggers using them in the store. No, she was cutting the cake. No, but I was cutting the cake. With your tiny little knife. I didn't want to cut a cake. What sort of pathetic fan were they rocking for a cake? It was better than nothing.

I would have just karate chopped the cake. Yeah, that would have made a mess, wouldn't it? Yeah. Rebecca, thank you. Let's go to Maya. Maya, what have you got in your handbag right now, the weirdest thing? Hi, I have my friend's cat claw in my bag. Okay, why?

Because cats are very spiritual beings, so we like to collect little bits and pieces when we get the chance to make spells. What kind of spells are you casting? I used to cast a lot of spells when I was a witch. Yeah, Hayley was a witch in her teenage years. Yeah. Yeah, well, no, we just cast spells for

protection, whether they're for the cat or for us. But, yeah, we love it. How big is this claw? Oh, it's tiny. It's tiny. And obviously we don't, like, pull it off. We just find them lying around. But, you know, it's quite rare to find them.

But you find cat claws lying around. We find little thin scrapings of rollies around. Oh, you mean when the claws, I thought you had the whole paw. When they, like, shed. And my head, I was claws I thought you had The whole paw When they like shed No You've got a whole paw No You have a monkey paw

That's the one Or like the rabbit For good luck I quite often imagine Mary Fluffington Will shed a paw A claw A paw

Should I be Keeping those Oh yeah And the whiskers too Whether you stick them In pots or whatnot Oh yeah To help everything grow

Right and will it grow A monstera Monstera Oh yeah there you go I've got whiskers too, whether you stick them in pots or whatnot. To help everything grow. Right. And will it grow a monstera? Monstera. Oh, yeah. There you go. I've got whiskers in my monstera right now. Wait a minute. Wait a goddamn minute.

This was never on an episode of Maggie's Garden World. You did have whiskers. A cat's whisker can help a monstera grow. Yeah. I mean, they're all about, you know, feeling and protection and all that kind of thing. So putting them around the monster just, you know, translates their energy. Interesting. And I've been sucking them up the vacuum.

You know what, technically it's 9 o'clock, so I'm off the clock. I won't comment. You won't comment. May I thank you? Thank you. Very fascinating. Yeah, some messages in. Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma.

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma. A bag of needles. Husband's a type 1 diabetic, but I tell you what, when your needles fall onto the table at the cafe, people sure look at you, fam. Wow. A full-size salt grinder. I love salt.

Somebody else said, my friend used to carry around salt in a plastic bag. Very hard to explain to bouncers at nightclubs when they're like, what's that? Salt, try it. Try it. It's actually Himalayan. Try some salt.

I carry little sachets of butter and ketchup. That's great. My wife carries a tube of condensed milk in her bag just for a little hit every now and then. A little sugar hit. I have my breast implant serial number cards in my handbag. You never know when you might need them. In case you've got to claim the warranty.

Well, no. Or you might have to show St. John in the back of the ambulance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what? St. John's are like, these are nice. You don't have to make a bottle, do you? I want the serial number. I counted 79 all rights today.

Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off.