ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 16th April 2026

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

On today's Big Pod, Curried Sausages are back Ozempic face surgery is on the rise Top 6 - Words Vaughan can't wait to say 15 easy to pick up hobbies SLP - Vibe Check - Is love dead? Don't get Hayley started How much did you pet cost? Don't cry on social media What did you hear through the walls? Fact of the day Vaughan $10 Suburb How to know if your a placeholder partner What are you just too lazy to do? QLP - Did you come back to NZ because you liked it better? Hayley is a considering a purchase See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network. This is Fleshwood and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands of the lowest prices. ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Thank you, Susie. Good morning. Fletch Vaughn and Haley, happy Thursday.

That's it. Haley broadcasting from the Melbourne studio again this morning at their Melbourne Comedy Festival. Yes, oh my God. I'm having such, I'm having a really lovely week, actually. Some lovely audiences coming. coming in, good times. I am a little bit poorly this morning though.

A little bit sick or like hay fevery or something. There was a moment before when Haley reached for the David Seymour pseudo effedrons and maybe thought she'd accidentally taken the nighttime. The night time pills. I know, I just found them before. And then I was like, oh yeah, great. There's some pseudo here. And then I took them and I was like,

which one's pink, which one's white. But no, I'm on the days. I'm on the days. So it lasts the four hours. The days are white, right? Yeah, the days are white, the nights are pink. Okay, good. Right, well, you take the white ones then?

Be it, the whites are in. Thank you, David Seymour or the Australian equivalent. Vaughan's $10 suburb, $1,000 street. We gave away $1,000 dollars yesterday. We did. Thanks to the new one roof app. So if you want to play today, $10 suburb is going to be after 830. The top six is coming up.

There is talk about abolishing the BSA. That's the Broadcasting Standards Authority, a government agency that makes sure we don't say too many. swear words or inappropriate things on air. They look after television but not podcasts. They don't look after podcasts. Like you could literally get on a podcast and you could still defame

someone. Someone could take you to court. Yeah. They have. A good defamation but there's no, you can swear away. You can do whatever you want. Yeah. Because it's not broadcasting is it? No. But anyway, the government in another austerity measure has decided we should just be able to look after ourselves.

Now that famously works. Che? Famously works. Well, What, so if we said something bad on air, like if and maybe a scene? We would decide that ourselves, that, oh, it was all right. Yes.

Don't put that in Fletchbourne in Haley's hands. Honestly, some shows. Yeah. Would there be a governing body put together by broadcasters, I think? Right. But we don't want to pay for this. You pay for it, basically. I've got the top six words I'm looking forward to saying

when the BSA goes. Okay. I'm scared. It's not gone yet, Vaughn. No, I know. It's not gone yet. Preemptive strike here. Next on the show, I believe Haley, there's a sausage, a type of sausage that is back in vogue.

Yes. Now, last night, during my show, in front of a live studio audience, it was made news to me the return of a particular sausage dish. I want to discuss this. The Fletch, Vaughan and Haley, Big Pod. Bonnie, have you got the text machine open, hon? Yeah, text machine open and... Ready to go. Ready to go.

I'm going to kick things off a little bit early. 9-696, your stance on curried sausages. Because... What? Curried sausages. Like the madgy. The magi pack. Okay, okay.

Listen to this. Yeah, there was magic curried sausages. But there was a boo. You could do a bougie from scratch curried sauce as well. Yeah, but no one did. It was magic. That's magic. Continental. I have seen some people cooking them on Instagram videos and it's hard to make them look anything other than slop.

So this is the thing that shooketh me yesterday. So I'm over in Melbourne doing my show and without getting into it, if you missed it, you missed it. There is a reference to sausages in the show. And somehow yesterday's audience informed me, no, one woman informed me that curried sausages are back, making a huge comeback. And I just looked at it and I said, excuse me, hon. I highly doubt it. And I said, let me, I actually ran a quicky little pole in my own show yesterday. I plagiarized the show. Yeah. Wow. And I ran a little pole. Yeah, of course.

It's tiny. But I ran a quickie little pole and I said, well, with my show of hands, who thinks that curryed sausages are back? And I was trying to shame this woman. The majority of people are like, yeah, no, they're back in a big way and people are cooking them on Instagram. And it's a hot new recipe that's made a return. Is it because it's,

It's like a packet and some sausages. I couldn't believe it. It's just the same as civil sausages? Sausages aren't cheap. Well, the ones that we used to make curried sausages out of though were cheap. Pre-cooked. Yeah, but if you were getting the cheapest sausages, you don't do, you're a meat snob. No, but we never, I am when we grew up.

Did you wait, seriously, would you use like a sizzler or like a hell is pre-cooked? No, like a hell is pre-cooked. Would you use that for a curried sauce? Of course you do. Back in the 90s. You're such a meat snob. Because we had home kill, so it was, like, but I've, oh my gosh. Don't poverty shame me and pass these curry.

I don't know pre-cooked sausages is an option of a deviled sauce. The cheapest sausage you can buy and unpack it. That's why I think there's a resurgence because it's cheap. Yeah. So this woman was telling me, she was like, no, no, no, they're back and they're delicious. And the audience all agree that they're absolutely amazing. And then one psychopath in the front row was like, yeah, you just get coconut cream. I'll stop you there.

She's making a curry, curried sausage. I wouldn't be mad about that. I wouldn't be mad about a curry... What's the difference doing a deviled sauce and a curried sauce? I was just Googling that as well. You did that. Yeah, okay. Please curry powder, I guess.

Develled sausages and curry sausages are very similar in that both dishes typically use sausages. Duh! Duh! But they're not exactly the same. Develled sausages are made with a tangy, mildly spicy tomato-based sauce while curry sausages are made with a sauce containing curry powder or curry...

Oh, see, I think I'd prefer deviled. I like a deviled sauce too. So I'm on the Magi InZ website. ready in 25 minns and simply add sausages, onion, milk and saltanas. Ooh, if you add in your magic backers. Ooh, I love saltanas.

Not there. No, but like a sweetness, I guess, to your curried sauce sauce. Okay, so I googled... 966, by the way, are you up for a curried sauce? Are you up for a curried sauce? I think they're back. The curry sauce is back.

Weekly staple in our house. Holy! The barkers do a curried sausage, Jar Jar sauce. What? You know, we love a chutiny. They do a good. Good chutna.

Oh, good chutna. Because the devil's suckers just don't F around when it comes to this stuff. They do it well. They do. They do. Okay. Carried sauce, mashed tates, no saltanas. Yes.

So 688, you don't do saltanas. Angel says it's hell is beef pre-cooked sausages for me. Yeah, good. It's not that I'm against the idea of it. I was just shocked. I didn't realize this was kind of like a retro recipe that had made such a comeback. And just the whole audience was in a grants that like, that we're currying our sausages once more. We're back.

I'm quite excited. Use the mad. No, no, no, no magic sashay. Use the Edmund's recipe for curried sauce. It's in the Edmonds. Oh, which will be spices, I'm guessing, in curry. I wonder if, yeah, I wonder if that's what Patsy would have used. Simon Gult recently put a video on his Facebook page of his curryed sauce. I said, I have been tempted.

Why is it back, though? I think you're right, for it. It's cheap. Did you have apple in your deviled sauce? Oh, that would be nice. Yeah, we had apple. In what form? Instead of saltanas. slice, whatever, whatever,

tickles your fanny. Sans, fancy. Different kind of curried sauce, man. The Fletchborn and Haley, Big Pod. Now this comes out of the UK, United Kingdom. It is the British Association

of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons. What an association. British Association BAP. BAPs. It's literally BAPs. It's BAPs. Wow, that is. That's brilliant.

And they specialize in BAPS. They do. They do. They do. It's one of their favorite things. They did that on purpose, right? 100%. Welcome to BAPS.

So they were revealing in 2025 at the end of last year, facial enhancements are the fastest rising cosmetic surgery, right? Over breast lifts, over tummy tucks, over liposuction, anything like that. Right. Brow lifts at top of the list, up 27%. eye lift surgery 8% face and necklifts, cheeks and everything like that. Is that just because we're getting older?

The population's getting older. Yes, we are getting older, but the main culprit, weight loss drugs like Ozempik, because people are losing weight on the jabs so quickly. And if you lose weight super, super fast, often your face can't keep up, the elasticity in your skin.

And people are suffering. from Ozempic face. And you do see this in some celebs, right? You're like... Yes. It really like... Your face does look like older. Well, it kind of droops down, doesn't it?

It just sags. It hangs off the bone. It hangs off the bone a bit more. Yeah. Yeah, so people are losing weight so quickly with these drugs that they're just noticing this Ozempic face and so they're all then having to go and get it bloody... God, Katie, you know, I just googled Ozambic face.

And Katie Perry is like the poster child. of a Zempe, I wouldn't have thought she needed to be on a Zemik in the first place. No, but that's... Because she's on Ozenpick. A lot of them are on it that don't need to be, though, celebrities. Right. So your average person, though, that does fork out the money for weight loss drugs, which is still expensive, but they could afford those,

but then you're not going to be able to afford. How much is a facelift? Oh, I mean, it depends. It can be anything from, like, 5,000 to 15,000, depending on how much skin you've got to, like, pick up. Yeah, right. but you just have to do a tight ponytail. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So this was like, it was so good. Oh, who she had this Anne Hathaway, Annie Hathaway, right? She did that she does that? So she gets these little plaits and like pulls up the side. Did you see this? And she gets her like hairstylist to do these plats real tight and tie them at the back of her head and then style her hair over it.

And it gives her like fake facelift to go with her real face lift. Wow. And she's honest, she's honest about that. Well, no, she's honest about it, but she's not honest about the real one she's had, but don't worry about it. Oh, she had a real one. Oh, for sure, for sure, she's had it. She had that, what's the one where they suck out all the fat,

you know, that got real popular last year, and people were looking at that real gaunt with the cheekbones in the kind of mouth like that. But Ozempic face, the phenomenon refers to sagging and lackluster appearance of the facial skin and structures due to the rapid weight loss, thanks to fat jabs. Yeah, well, you wouldn't think many people in New Zealand

would be on it, but they are. You hear so many stories and you see people and it's crazy. And I have my own opinion on white law's drugs. But also, like, you do you. It's your body. You're absolutely entitled to do. And if it helps your life, fine. But yeah, it's the face sagging that I think maybe is like a payoff that people are happy to accept to be skinnier.

Yeah. I guess. I just love food too much. Yeah, dude. I love eating. I couldn't imagine not being hungry for like. delicious food. I just love shavling it in.

I love like being so full I'm uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's living. We've got to like sit down for a bit. I think you get that on these weight loss drugs, the ones that kill the appetite. Yeah, but you just don't have to eat as much. Yeah, but it's only two spoonfuls. Yeah.

You're like, that's enough for me. Now, but I want to finish the burger and then have put. I want someone at the restaurant when I'm making my order to be like, I think that's enough. And I'll be like two more dishes. That happens to us a lot more. Yeah, I think you guys, that seems to be a lot of food for three people. I was somewhere the other day.

Where was it? It was a nice restaurant over here. And we were ordering and they were like, is that too much for two people? And they were like, yes. And they were honest. And I said, well, thank you so much. And so we pulled back a little bit.

And you know what? They were right. It was an absurd amount of food. I would have lied to you just to make the money. Yeah, I would have said. I know. I was like, you literally could have, you could have taken my money for this dish.

I would have ordered it. I would have refused to unpack your doggy bag. I said, this place doesn't do that? And then I would have taken away your food and eating it. Do you know what it was? it was a Korean barbecue. And it was me and my brother and his fiance. And we ordered, and we ordered like two big plates.

One with, like, just beef and one with like a mixture of things. And they were like, just for you guys. And we were like, yeah, he was like, that's too much. And my brother actually said, bring it on. And you know what? He finished it. Because he is not on Ozempic and he's happy to be uncomfortably full. The ZRAM Podcast Network.

From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. Hi guys I said I was going to practice the top six so I didn't I'm so scared bro Make a boo-boot But yeah And then I forgot

And then the music started And I was like Oh yeah Well changes are coming Changes The media and communications manager Has all but confirmed The minister

What did I say? Manager Manager It feels like it sometimes Has But all but confirmed The Broadcasting Standards Authority Will be scrapped

Now these this looks after television and radio broadcasting. Yes. Like the standards. So you're not like to swear and say certain words. There's a whole lot of standards. Yeah. Otherwise, people can complain to the broadcasting standards authority

and they can take action. Yes. And in the past, Vaughn has been fined a lot of money. No. Yes. Depending on what your thoughts on a lot of money is. Well, I mean, the company paid it, didn't they? Well, they had to.

Because they approved it. So they're going to get rid of it, which means we're going to be policing ourselves. There'll be a new thing in place, but it'll be like run by the broadcasters. So it's just going to be the wild west. Wait, are they going to do anything about podcasters? And then there'll be an inclusion in it. Right. Because, like, there's a lot of, there's a lot of gray area.

Shall we say lunatics? Yeah. Running podcasts or live streams that think of their outside the law? You can say anything. Well, but it means it's just going to be open season on swear words. I've got the top six words I can't wait to say when the BSA's gone. Okay. And you're going to wait, but you're going to say them now even though they're not gone.

Yeah, why not? A little warm up, little stretch of the legs. Number six on the list, Mother father. Mother father. Wow. Do I need to have my sensor beep ready? Get that finger on the rider, mate. Mother father.

No, that's... That didn't work actually, did it? No, because generally a sensor beep goes in place of the word, not just at the same time, as it. Yeah. Okay. Number five on the list of the top six words, I can't wait to say when the BSA goes. Spasticity. Now that would be when you're having a muscle spasm.

System of a down song. Great. Spacity of the city. How much of a spasm is your muscle havoc? Right. Spashticity. Yep. Not okay.

Number four on the list of the top six words, I can't wait to say when the BSA is gone. Get out of here. Number four, fags coffee. Which is one of my favorite coffee brands. and when I see it, I buy it. Yep, of course you do. I am aware that yesterday on here, or was it yesterday on the day before,

we did hit a pofter. Is that on the... No complaints so far. It was yesterday. It was drew the top six signs that you're cyclones. Yeah, the gays love one. He can get away with it.

The guys have lent him that word. And you know what? They let me know when I appreciate that. Yeah. I like hearing from them. Right, but Fagg's distinction. Oh, what a coffee. What a coffee.

And they still haven't changed a brand name, have they? They, they don't want to... Well, because they've got two... Is it too... or two A's? Two G's. If they have two A's, they'd be fags. Fagg.

Number three on the list of the top six words I can't wait to say when the BSA goes. Farka, Papa. I love that Ski-Food. It's a great skiff. I really did not. I love it. What you were saying there. Just down the road from Farkat-a-Tarnet.

Yeah. You know, beautiful places. Can't wait to say those. And it's great that people listen to us. Far car wrong or my. Yes. Yes. Yes, Fahafanu Natanga.

Okay, let's stop this now. I'm getting very uneasy. Number two on the list of the top six words, I can't wait to say when the BSA is gone, gone, get out of here. Homosapion. Yes, okay, yep, yep. I can call you a homo sapian. I can call her a homo sapiens.

Well, we are, aren't we? We are about homoer listeners. Yes. That is, whenever you hear an ad for a homoist, it does sound like something. Yeah, almost homo sapian. And number one on the list of the top six words, I can't wait to say when the BSA goes.

Country music. Vaughan Allen smack. There is a time when you say, you know, we live in this country. And if you ever stumble at the wrong moment. So many newsreaders pause when they say that word sometimes. And it's awkward. It's awkward. Okay.

You never pause before trees. We put up a social media video last week and it was like, what did Fletch say to get this reaction? clearly it was in a pre-recorded part, but Fletch just fully said it. Yes, I know. He fully said it. But again, and our reaction was because Fletch had been

telling off Haley and I for mucking up the script an ad that we were reading, and that's why we reacted so, because he was saying to us, stop mucking around and get it done, and then he drops the C-bomb models. Wasn't on air, I'm a professional broadcaster. He's a professional. And I can't wait to play some more

country music. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Fawn and Haley Fletch Fawn and Haley Mum's just text back It wasn't her that won lotto She doesn't use the My Lotto app Someone in New Plymouth

won 14 odd million dollars last night Can you check? Now After Huffa 6 so you can check on the app And I'm not from New Plymouth But maybe when I registered I made a boo-boo I don't think so

No Do you think because I didn't win But I made Because I'm in Australia I couldn't get one So I made my mum get one but because we didn't win, I'm probably not going to give her the 24 bucks. Yeah.

Dude, I won nothing. Not even a bony, too. Well, the syndicate lost again. It's almost like this gambling thing isn't working out, guys. It's almost like we're losing the odds here. It's like the house is winning, you know? A quitter? Yeah.

No, we'll be back. I'm happy to quit. Save the money. Yeah, true. Anyway, I reckon a lot of adults would find themselves without hobbies, right? Life gets busy and you're like, you've got your work, and maybe your family and your relationship and your social life

and probably that's all you've got time for. But hobbies are very beneficial. We've been... Have you something to stimulate the brain? Yeah, and we've been speaking a lot about making adult friends lately and helping people connect and make adult friends.

And I think hobby is a good way to do it. Yeah, it's a good way to do it. Yeah. But also just something to get off your phone, you know, like if your hobby is to do your work and your whatever that needs to be done and then your hobby is to sit down and be in your phone,

we know to our core that is not good. for us. No. You know? It's not. So you've got to get a hobby and it doesn't have to be a hard thing and I think what puts people off is that you're like, but I don't have any skills, you know?

Here is a list compiled by the intranet, not the internet. The internet. The internet. Okay. Yeah. Of hobbies that you can get into that require no prior skill. Oh, okay. Go.

Go. I will say one of these is running. Now, as someone who actually tried to take on running as a hobby, as in I ran twice this year and then did an 8.5 and then couldn't walk for the rest of the week. Yeah. I'm not going to talk about that one. I don't want to do that. Yeah.

That's, um, you can't just jump into that, can you? Okay, here's a great list and why it's a great. Watercolouring, cheap, low mess, hard to mess it up. Right? So you get your watercolour pencils and draw some things and you get your water on. It's lovely. You know, Shari, who does our hair and makeup, a mind-dresser and dear friend, she does watercolors. Really easy.

She just took it on. It's very, like, soothing, calms down. the mind off the phone. Okay. Pickle balls on there. Very easy to pick up. I would love to play pickleball. So Patsy and Craig are going to join a club.

We should join with them. There's one out by my place. That's the one my parents are doing. Yeah. Oh, maybe I'll go play with them and Fletch can just be a loser. My parents are playing it on their cruise ship. They're cruising in Japan at the moment. And I said, what's on the agenda today?

Mum's like quiet day around the ship. I think we might play some pickleball with the picket with the pickets. So Pickleball's good because it's so much easier than tennis. Apparently it's good for the less coordinated people than like tennis and heaven forbid squash. Small courts, eh? And it's a bit like, yeah. Bigger racket?

Yeah, I was watching some people play like a month or two ago. And it looked also. I was like, I want to do this. I feel it just used to be called padded tennis though. Yeah, it did. At primary school. Totally did. Now here's one, I reckon none of us have done since primary school.

I mean, I don't even know if you guys did it at your primary schools. Calligraphy. No, it was a desile one. Couldn't afford pens. No, you didn't have ink and that kind of stuff. Calligraphy, practice while you're watching TV. Workbooks make it easy to start. So you can actually buy calligraphy workbooks that you follow

and learn how to do the proper... Oh, wow. When you first said calligraphy, I thought you meant Spirograph. Remember Spirograph? Yeah, fun. I follow a Spirograph Instagram. Me too. It's wild.

Because I'd always slip or a tooth would slip or the Spirograph would be like, ugh. Kids these days I'll never know. No. I might bust out a spiral graph. Yeah, do it. Timu's biograph. Okay, I'm going to cut some of these out, see that.

Crack, YouTube workouts. Shut up, piss off. Okay, puzzles. Very satisfying start-to-finish project. And then you can frame it and make a piece of art. So, mum and dad tried to get into puzzles. My dad got so bored. So it's just sitting there on.

I can't do puzzles. No. Yeah. I get bored as well. And then I get frustrated because I think that bit should fit. And, oh, they've obviously made a mistake in the way they've cut it. Yeah, your puzzles are a mess. you thumb them all together

and it's like, that's not the image, bro. Language learning, you don't need prior skill but that one's hard. Jewelingo for new phrases. No fluency pressure required. Like you're just learning some little, like, maybe if you were traveling, you were going somewhere. You could learn some local skills.

See papi. See papi. Cross stitch. I try this, but it's good for fidgeters people. You know, like it just needs to do something with their hands. Fidget friendly, budget friendly beginner kits available, very cheap meditation skip that digital collaging so go on canva or Pinterest or something like that and just sort of go I'm going to make a collage about candles and then make one about candles

and go I'll make a digital one because you don't actually need to do all the arts and crafts and get the magazines you can do it online feel like if you're a shopaholic though that's going to get you shopping yeah yeah because you're going to make a board and be like well I need to buy all of this now yeah and the final one that I will mention volunteering free no skills needed genuinely rewarding Have you got spare time on your hands? Be like, I might go down. I've been thinking about going down. Have you followed those YouTube

where they take out the least popular dog for a day, like the best day of its life? What? So say you go to the pound or the SPC or whatever and you go in and you say, hey, like who's the dog that like no one's looking at? And you just take them out for the day and you give them like the best day of

and you return them. That seems like a bit of a bit of a... I don't think they're just going to give you a dog to take for the day. You're blue-balling this dog's free to. You're blue-balling it. Yeah, because he's like, oh my God, finally I'm being adopted, and then you're like, back in the cage, bitch. Sike play Z-N's, Flesh, One and Haley. Today is a vibe check.

Oh, God, way to make this so uncool. Hated that. Hated that. Did you hate it? Yeah, did I like it. Vib check. Do you think love is dead? Today's vibe check.

I like that. The vibe check I like the vibe check I like. Haley, this was your idea for a silly little poll. Well, it's just because we're sort of this week, I feel like we've talked about a number of things, like love on the spectrum, you know, made me believe that love was very much back, and, you know, as a show

we're very much believed that love is dead, and as you turns left, right and center. And I thought, we're such flip-floppers, why don't we do a vibe check of the nation? It's my favorite way to check what's real, as a silly little pole. Well, do you think love is dead? 73% of people said no.

27% of people. Oh, no. Just over a quarter. Okay. Just over a quarter of people. Should we see what they're saying? Yeah. I probably shouldn't have voted yes.

I'm a marriage celebrant, says Aaron. But the good news is Aaron. It keeps you in business. It keeps you in business because the people will get... Would you use the same marriage celebrant second time around? No. Oh my God, that is a great question. Get a fresh one.

Is there a marriage celebrant listening now that's married? The same person twice? Yes. One of the same people. Yes. 966. Are you a marriage celebrant? There's dipped a toe twice.

Yeah. Basically. Surely not. You'd change it up right, even if you weren't superstitious. If you're just a little stitious. Just out of sheer embarrassment that you've got the same celebrant. And also in your photos? Yeah.

What do they do? What are they doing? We're in the same dress. Don't get photos the second time. Just Photoshop that one person to the different... Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah. It's a great idea.

Because I wonder if, like, because I'm not. I became a marriage celebrant just for friends. So if it was a friend, right, and you knew that they were a celebrant, you might want to use them again? I don't reckon you wouldn't. No, you just wouldn't. I'd be interested to know if that's ever happened. If that's ever happened, if anyone ever knows, 9-6-9-6, do let us know. Other feedback on if love is dead.

Michael said, I hope not. My sister's getting married this weekend. Okay. Okay. Well, that means that love. Love feels alive. Half, more than half, do we end in divorce. Just saying.

Pam just wrote. Heated rivalry. That's all she wrote. She said that's reignited love. That was love. Was that love? It was love, yeah. And a lot of...

I haven't watched it. Yeah. A lot of banging. I don't think it's your show, a your type of show, Vaughn. Not your key words, I'd say. Nah. Aisha said, happily married for coming up seven years,

FIFO life helps because we get to miss each other every other month. Oh, yeah, nice. So do you reckon they're out of your hair for a month? I reckon she should only be saying that they've been married for three and a half years, though, if they spend every other half a half. Catherine said, single almost 10 years, dating apps are a waste of time.

I'm going to be a crazy dog lady because no one wants to give me a baby. I probably wouldn't open with that line. Give me a baby? No one wants to say, you're on a date. You're like, hi, like what are you into? Will I want someone to give me a baby? Yeah. Good to be honest, though.

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, up front. Well, you know, if time's ticking. Then you've got to be up front See where people are at with the baby Natalie said Oh god, why are you asking this?

Is Haley pulled another Ui? Where are you currently sitting at? Oh, she's in love. Love, well, love What the, Adam's doing her? It's a hard launch. She out around the moon. What else to people have to say?

What else do people have to say? I just want to let you sit there for a bit. It's disgusting. Apparently it's not. dead with all the soft launch is happening, says Bex, Fletch wins yours. I don't know, never. Yeah, bring Vorn into it. I didn't even have a

launching pad. You didn't even have a launching pad? No, I dismantled mine. Oh, God. Not even with that smile you showed us. Exited the space race. Not even with that little smile you showed us. Haley, don't get me in trouble. You just absolutely Artemised me.

So, I'm sorry. Who are you going to get in trouble with? You answered to no one. You literally answered to no one. You answered to no one. No one and no man, no woman, no child. Okay. Pets. Oh, you've got our pet, but I feel like your cats.

I think Major Murray would like them. He's my love. He's used to it by now. He is your love. Charlotte says love has definitely been dead of my life for a few years, but I know it's alive out there somewhere. Oh, that's lovely. In the moods, age.

One swipe away. Loll says, it all depends on the time of the month, and God damn it, I wish I was kidding. Yeah. It truly does. Dan, nah, I love love. I've been engaged for three weeks. now and I've missed him so much more when he's been away for work since I popped the question.

Aw. Yeah, but that's the thing. That's gay love too. Is that gay love? That's between two men. Yeah. But it feels like these people are loving each other more when they're apart.

If they're apart, they're in an arrangement. Yeah, because I'm getting bored over there. Tell you what is dead? Monogamy. Love is definitely dead after having a baby, said Libby. Oh, it'll come back. You're just in a quiet spot.

Lips. And all your love is. being poured into the baby. It's a right of a return. Bad news, Brad! Has way in. Have you seen the effort needed to dive into the dating pool and find love recently? Sweaty face. Brad, Brad, I don't want to hear this from Brad.

What? Is Brad getting Brazilians? To dive into the dating pool. Well, that's the effort that I put into diving into the dating pool. Right, you're saying the effort. I'm plucking everything. Really? Everything.

Well, I don't know what, Brad's hairless. Brad just needs to bloody get in the trunks and dive in that dating pool. So we are today in a vibe check. Don't do that, please. Do you think love is dead? And 73% of you said, no, love's alive. Next on the show. I've figured out why I'm so grumpy this week.

What? When I married my ex-husband, we used the same celebrant head used for his first wedding. Juries out if you'll use it for the same one third time around. Oh, Mike Watson, it's already over. Yeah. Oh, wow. My dad was my celebrant, married me three times. True story.

If you use the same celebrant more than once, are they off for some sort of discount. Like two for one. Oh my God, like a punch card. Or the fifth one's free. Yeah, yeah. Get the fifth one from. Oh my God, it actually happened.

That's crazy. Play. That ends. Fleshhorn and Haley. So, I'm in Melbourne at the moment. I'm doing the Melbourne International Comedy Festival before I go to Sydney and Brisbane. And a bit of a funny schedule with my sleep because I'm two hours behind. Currently 520.

520 here. Yep. And I get off stage at like midnight New Zealand time, half past midnight New Zealand. It's a bit funny. So my sleep's all over the show and it's very important that I grab it when I can.

And I haven't been able to because I am staying in an apartment in Chinatown where it's very busy, right? It's very busy right in the CBD. Every time she goes, try to go to sleep, it goes, da-da-da-da-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. That's what the clock does on the quarter hour.

I don't know if it does, but yeah. I haven't actually heard a lot of that sound. It's because you're in Trinandown, baby. It's going to Little Italy, and it's all like the clock in Little Italy. He goes, hey, I'm a clock in here. I'm a chime, what you want? Hey, I'm a dicking and I'm attacking. Hey, for that's one o'clock.

There has been, like, there is so much noise around me in general. And I couldn't figure out why it felt like so condensed in the, the evenings and like in the early, early hours of the morning. So 1 a.m. my time. I've just sent this through to you a morning. 1 a.m. my time, 3 a.m. your time.

This, I reckon, was the least invasive sound of the night. I managed to turn the phone on. Oh, is that a backing up truck? So that, yeah. Yeah, it sounds like a mechanical Australian bird. That's as loud as it'll go. Loud as it can go.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. No, no, people get the idea. Yeah, get the idea. Yeah, but you think you're lying in perfect silence. Oh, yeah, that's, that's annoying. You'd hate that.

Well, that's why I have air plugs. You'd be like, every night. Yeah, I've been having my headphones in. But that is, I will say, that's the least invasive sound I've had for the two weeks that I've been here. I've had clanging pipes. I've had beeps. I've had hollering. I've had like construction at 2 a.m.

And I figured it out because when I went onto my, I've got this tiny little balcony that's definitely just for the air conditioner. But sometimes I stand out there to take in the sights. Yeah. and cling on for dear life. So I went out there while this was happening, and I did hit them with a shut the F up. I yelled into the street. I hope that's not in the clip.

Stop playing it in case I captured it. What I've finally put it together is the alleyway that I'm next to is the rubbish alley for the entirety of Chinatown, Melbourne. So it is lined with those massive bins in every restaurant, which in Chinatown closes at 1 a.m., or 2.30 a.m. They all come and they dump their rubbish there and then it gets picked up by these trucks

every single night. Do they chuck bottles and stuff? That always freaks me out. Living in the country and if you stay the night in the city and the bottle bin goes It's loud, yeah it is. There's the backing trucks, there's the beeps and then there's like all the people coming at

and like cleaning their trays and everything like that. And I just couldn't figure out why it was so condensed and it was like my, I am literally in rubbish alley This is what they should rename this apartment. Rubbish apartment and Rubbish Alley. Got to read the reviews of what you're saying, Haley, before you book it. I know, and I didn't, and it's too late.

And it is, it is torturous. I mean, I am benefiting from some of the best Chalmain and Swin Southport. Oh, worth it. I'd say that's worth it. It's also not helping that I do go to sleep each night with a belly full of it. So that's not helping to sleepish. For the noise, maybe put a dumpling in each year. Oh, I could.

some dumpling wrappers and just sort of roll them up couldn't I and stuff it into my ears. You would be better with a pork bun. Oh yeah. You're right actually. You'll pull off a little bit of pork bun roll up. You'd be better with pork bun. And then it'll expand back into your ears like those strong air lones. And then you're

to be trying to get it out out of your ear because it's so gooey. Yeah, so instead of next time yelling at them, you reckon go down, fish through the Chinatown rubbish, find some chucked out pork buns. Yeah. Thumb them into the earholes. Yeah. Yeah.

Go back to Slate. I reckon. That's a problem that's solved its own problem. That's great thinking from you, Fletch. And then it's breakfast in the morning. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flash forne and Haley. Oh, Pax.

That's what I would have said. Oh, Pax! What have you done? Not Pax Asadi. This is the dog. Not New Zealand comedian Pax Asari. New Zealand dog Pax. No last name as far as I know. Well, unless do your dogs and cats automatically take off?

your last name? Because your cat's name is Major Murray Fluffington. No, it doesn't. But he's not Major Murray Fluffington Fletcher. No. Although that sounds real cute.

That does sound pretty cute. Rolly's Raleigh Sprow. Is he Rolly Sprow? At the vet. I suppose all of the... Well, Ritchie, my dog that I adopted, actually adopted, not like Fletch, bought it off a breeder.

No, he rescued it off a breeder. Thank you. You negotiated with terrorists. Thank you. And paid a premium for it. His name was Ritchie McClore, named after Richie McCaw. Yeah, all right.

renamed him Richard Smith. Dick Smith. Dickie, Dickie Smith. He's Dick Smith. But if they go, they take on your last names, of course. This dog Pax. Yes, they're on holiday over Easter, and Pax eats a fishing hook. Oh, gosh. Famously, that's not coming out.

It was, like, one of those fishing hooks, he was on the beach, and, like, you know, when people get caught on rocks or whatever, they just cut the line or the line breaks, and then eventually it'll dislodge itself and wash up on the beach, and you've got to be careful. So, yeah, he ate a dislodged fishing hook. And that was the $7,000 bill. Mm. Because it got lodged in his stomach and, of course, hooks famously when they go into an animal.

Generally, a fish is what you're after when you're... Yeah, oh, don't even... It would have come out. He swallowed it a $7,000 bill and an unexpected overnight stay in Auckland because that's where they had to go to get it out. Oh, my God. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah. They kept the hook.

You pay it, did they? Well, you would. It's a $7,000 hook. When they got it out, they would have had to cut the hook, right? because it would have gaffed whatever it was. No, so when she first opened the dog's mouth to get the thing out. Oh, don't go into the details. It was there and he was like gagging on it.

But then, of course, when you gag, you also swallow, swallowed the hook. Stop, stop, stop. No, okay. Want to see an x-ray? No. You can see a poo beside the hook. It's pretty the most interesting part of the X-ray. So embarrassing getting an x-ray and you can see your own poo inside of you.

It's an act, hey. Yeah, it's such an hack. I never imagine. See my labia in my poops? Yeah. I know, and guys, you'd see your junk as well. Bolesack. It's so funny, your little balls resting there.

And then there's a poo there. And there's a poo in your balls. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's embarrassing. It's so shame. Hell of an area. You know what?

$7,000 is not, I don't even reckon that would be... You're actually starting hearing from horse people. Yeah, this is what we want to know this morning. Because I reckon there will be some stories that will blow our minds. The amount of money... I mean, this isn't a paid, um, paid topic from health... Pet insurance by any means. No.

I would say, I reckon you're crazy to own a petting. this day and age. Yeah. Even some form of pet insurance. Even just some basic insurance because, yeah, it can be expensive. But your people pay for, like, cancer treatment for their pets and spend, like, hundreds or tens of thousands of dollars. But you would.

They'd, they'd crawl their way into our hearts and then you just would, right? You just find, you wouldn't. I wouldn't. They're a member of the family. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. For your girls, you would. No, I wouldn't.

You got a vet to come and put down one of your chickens. No, she was just there. And she's like, that chickens are. ass is hanging out. The cloac is she's going, that chicken is slowly turning itself inside out. That's like, oh. And she's like, do you want me to put it down while I'm here? I was like, okay, and she gets out

this tiny little syringe of Jiff. Wasn't Jiff. It was bright green though. Oh. And injects the chicken. Oh, palm olive. It was palm olive. Yeah. Gentle on the hands, harsh on a chook. And said here, and injected it and said here, hold your chicken while it dies and then I was holding it and died. You weren't

holding your chicken when it died. I was holding the chicken when it died. Past away. I shut its little chicken eyes. You were singing for cardiomai or poor, poor cardi carriana. Yeah, yeah. That was back. Caddy Carriana. Dig a whole berry and get the bill, 130 bucks.

I was like, I could have put a spade through it. Like, no events. And it would have been free. Yeah, okay. And I was like, never again. Well, can anybody listen? And then, like, I feel like it would just be cruel to prolong their life and put them through this miserable treatment

that they can't understand why they're a member of the family. You have to. No, they can't understand. If my clowack is hanging out one day, put a spade through me. You've been full permission. 0,800,000 M is the number. 9-6-960. You want you to text this morning.

What is the crazy amount of money that you have spent on a pet? Maybe there was an accident, like the dog with the fishing hook. Yeah. Or it was like some treatment to help it out. Oh, my God, we've already got pages. Okay, great. Keep them coming. 9-6-96.

What is the crazy? amount you spent on a pet because the families put out a warning saying hey if you're fishing don't just chuck your hooks away. Yeah, yeah. Because our dog ate one and it cost us $7,000 to get it out of our dog. Matt, and I tell you what,

there are some stories coming through. $7,000? We love them, don't we? We love them. $7,000 is nothing. Absolutely nothing. Brooke, how much did you spend on your, was this your dad on a dog or a cat? Um, this was my dad on a dog, so it was about 15K in the end.

Oh, that's like a, that's a university education. Yeah, it's my inheritance or some of it anyway. Yeah, I do. Did he say that at the time, bro? We're like, Dad, maybe just let's just, you know. No, no, just parts his pride and joy. So, yeah, he was up to no good chasing chickens in the bushes and swallowed a stick. So, yeah.

What kind of dog are we talking? God, they're dumb, hey. Yeah, so dumb. That's so dumb. He's a German short head pointer. So he's a bird dog. Right. So the chicken dove in the bushes.

He dove after it and definitely came off. He could best. Wow. And so did the dog survive and was okay? Yeah, no, he's all good. He had a wee trip to the emergency vet and the CT scan and emergency surgery, you could say. and stayed overnight, and the vet rang dad the next day and said, maybe bring him home.

He's too much energy. Too much, get up and go. Amazing, amazing. So good, Brooke. Thank you. Scott, how much did you spend on a pet? Marina, guys. This was over the course of a few years.

I lived in Gore, and yeah, that was, I'm here spending money in Gore as, anyway. But we need to move back to Christchurch. I happened, I stupidly said to the vet, I'd love to know how much I'd spend on my cats, dogs, a pet rabbit and a pet lamb over the course of 10 years here, $12,000. Don't ask. Oh, wow, don't ask.

No, don't ask. Don't ask. No, don't ask. It's best not to know these things. So what was the biggest bill from $12,000 from all of those pets? One time my wee bejeon decided that he would eat a packet of Easter eggs. Oh, I don't know. It's not meant to be good.

And that was a pumping of the stomach. How did he get the little tinfoil wrappers off, Scott? Well, that's why I came home and I found this big pile of brown goop with tinfoil in it. Oh, okay. Rip's right from. God, shitting out tinfoil's got to serrate their nose. Yeah, not good. Not good.

Scott's got a lovely voice. Very dulcet. You should do some audio box or something. some of car women or Haley's audio sexual. Just maybe some sign me up. Love it. Thank you, Scott.

Carrie, how much did you spend on your pug? Over a period of seven years, close to $30,000. Oh, my God. That's a new pug every year. They're expensive, eh? They're expensive. Oh, my goodness. Did it teach you a little?

Have you got another dog? Is the pug still with us? No, he passed away a couple of years ago at the age of 14 and a half. Oh, yeah, that's long. That's long. His sister passed away in January at the age of 15. Oh, wow. You do well with the pug?

Yeah, we do. It's the love. We got a French bulldog puppy six weeks ago. Carrie! Did you not learn the first two times that he's smushed by them? Just dogs are expensive? Our vet said he bought a boat with our proceeds. At least he's honest.

Wow. I love that. Oh, Carrie. For me once, I bought a pug. For me twice, I bought another pug. For me three times, I've gone and bought a French bulldog. Yeah. I know.

My friend got a pug and then it got too hot and died. Like, they're just not going to have this world. No, he lost the use of his back legs. Oh, did he have to have a diaper? I learned how to express his bell in his bladder. Jesus Christ, for God's sake. Did he have a little wheelchair thing? He dragged his back legs around behind.

We did get a cart for him, but then when his front legs were getting quite sore from taking all the pressure. So I was the crazy pug lady who would take him out in a stroller. Oh. I would have got a robot vacuum cleaner and sellotaped him to that. Yeah, Matt had always follow you. You know, and he wasn't in pain and he was just loving life. Oh, that's lovely. But is he any part of you that does regret spending $30,000 carry on him?

No, not at all. Not at all. We brought him into our life, so it was up to us to make sure he was looked after. That's right. This is why wolves attack us. When we're out in the wild and wolves attack us, they're like, look what you did to us. Sorry, thank you. Some messages in how the crazy amounts of money you spend on your pet.

$30,000 on a single surgery to remove a mass from our dog. My mum's basset hound had a $10,000 facelift. Because you know the basset. Oh, they do because they can't see, yeah. Yeah, it's all like, hey, I'm a bastard. We paid for an operation of a dog for his back leg after he snapped a cruciate ligament. It's just short of $10,000. They're nearly two years later who did the other one.

My parents have spent upwards of $20,000 on our neomassive. Three cherry eye surgeries spaying and complications from that surgery. And he had to have an MRI at a human hospital because he was too big for the animal one. Oh, that would be a highlight of your day when you get a dog coming in for the MRI, not a man. You'd have to put them to sleep, eh? Yeah, you would. You would. You're not allowed to move in them, yeah.

I used to work in a mixed practice vet clinic. one day a horse person came in to pay their bill, $53,000. That was more than what I earned in a year working there. I had a nosy thinking maybe it was a build-up over time.

That was one horse-related VET bill. Oh, my God, that's insane. My dad's mate loved his dog so much that when he started struggling to get out the stairs to the bedroom, he paid $70,000 for a lift

to be installed in his house. What? I mean, useful. for you when you're older. When you need it. Jenna messaged and not even a week into having adopted a lab cross with a German short head pointer in these stories that did not what I want to hear.

Jenna, if you do not have pet insurance, get it now. I would have had to have paid $2,000 earlier this year because Richie had this unknown illness. He had a urinary tract infection. Yes. But after insurance, I think it costs, no, yeah,

which you always must. You must. And afterwards, I think, Once the excess and stuff was taken out, I think they paid about $400. Yeah. Yeah, it's a game changer. You just, or someone, someone hold on. Someone said, $45,000 over five years. What?

Fortunately, thanks to insurance, we only paid 20% of that. Labrador, um, that ate, repeatedly eight underwear that would have struck their stinky. Canky. Yeah, those Labradors, man, that kinky. The ZN podcast network. Is this a show real? Play ZDN's, Flesh, Forne, and Haley.

Okay, so this was amazing. There were six experiments that were run to look into this. Why you shouldn't cry on social media. Six different experiments. Basically, they used climate change as the test case, right? So they simulated TikTok posts talking about climate change with different expressions, the way that the people were talking about climate change.

Yep. And at the end of the day, it found that people that were more expressive, emotionally, sad face and particularly tears and crying, the more that people cried and expressed themselves in that way, the more simulated and disingenuous and just, you know, not real, the content was found and so it impacted people less and they cared less about climate change.

They didn't think it was authentic. Authentic, that's the word I was looking for, less authentic. So if you see someone crying about something on social media, you're dampens your care about it less, then if they were to talk about climate change in a neutral way with like more fact-based stuff but kept their face and their expression more neutral because people see it as performative, manipulative and chasing cloud.

Oh, would this be the same as someone's just broken up and you might see them on, you know, they... Hey, guys. Yeah. Or, you know, celebrities being like, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I have to apologize. And you're like...

The internet's no place to cry, shower, rules. Yes. Ha, rules. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Into pillow at night. Screaming into a pillow crying at night. Yeah, that rules.

Fletch, where do you do? You're crying. Outside. In the 90s. The Z&P Podcast Network. Play Z-N's Fletch, Warned Haley. Now, Fletch, might I request some calls and messages from our listeners? I'm going to call it a sort of a phone-in topic here.

Okay. Oh, 800. Dial Z-N. 96696 for the text machine. What did you hear through the walls? Because I have mentioned, I'm staying, I'm staying kind of in like a very, very cheap apartment while I'm here in Melbourne.

Yeah, it's glamour. Comedy's glamour. People don't know this. It's glamour. I'm not quite in the same ACOM as Ursula, let's just say. She's on a different side of town. Is she on the river side where the casinos are in the...

She's by the ocean. Yeah. She's by the ocean. She's by the sea, you know, just to calm her down. Anyway, so I want to know what you hear through the walls because yesterday I was getting ready for my show and I realized I hadn't had any dinner, so I got an Uber Eats. I got like a little pitter pocket with some falafel and it was really yum.

I say Peter. And I say, Philippa-Han! I don't say one however you said it. Yeah, that's crazy. Falafel, please. So I got a falafel Peter. on Uber Eats and I had the TV on

and I had it on quite low just like just little background noises I was doing my makeup getting ready for the show the Uber Eats is here so I go down in the lift to get it and I leave the TV on and everything and I come back up

and as I, there's the lift and then there's a door into the hallway and then from the hallway there's the door to my apartment from the lift so through two whole things I'm like what's that sound and I hear my television

I hear what I'm playing. And I was like, God, that's really ringing through all these doors. I must have knocked the remote and had it up really loud to permeate through two whole walls, you know, for everyone to hear. And then I went through the double doors and I went into my apartment and the TV was so low. And that really made me reflect on how much sound, I'm trying to dance around this, how much sound is. easily been escaping from this apartment in the two weeks that I've been here and just made me consider perhaps some of the sounds people may have heard. Wow, okay.

And some people live in this building full time. Yes, there's someone, for example, there is another apartment behind me through the wall of, say, the bedroom where my bed I've discovered is on wheels. So I'm just, you know, making... Glamour. Comedy is glamour. Yeah, making some assumptions, shall we say, of the things people have heard.

And I'm wondering if maybe want to go to the supermarket today, if I should buy some little chalkies for the neighbours. As a sort of... Sorry. Right. I'm sure they're used to it living next to it, Airbnb in their apartment building, to be honest. Yeah, sorry about that.

But can you hear them? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not... They're quiet, because they used to live in there, so they used to be... I think they haven't been through a breakup up and have started living a new life, shall we say. Okay, right, yeah. That's all I'll say.

Anyway, I realize they have heard certainly more than I want them to, and I want to know what did you hear through the walls? Because sometimes you're at a hotel or a motel, and the walls are thin, and you can hear people talking. And the family that's got to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning to make their flight and so that you get the bedside clock radio that the hotel provides going off, and then they're, come on, but be quiet. Because there's people in there are still sleeping,

but get all your stuff for near the kids. We're going to go and stay quiet. For God's sake, you mean so loud. They're not still sleeping, thanks, Mom. Yeah, maybe you heard some, you know, some juicy goss. That's what I mean, because, like, you heard people talking. Yeah, you hear arguments.

And maybe you will hear some rumpty-pumpty-pumpty, but also, like, maybe something a bit of. Calvin brings up a great point. Do you think that the people next door, when you start the radio show at 4 a.m. Melbourne time, do you think they're enjoying the show? Good morning, everyone. level seven.

Good morning. He probably thinks she's losing her mind. Yeah, like talking to herself and then waiting for no one to talk back and then... Why she was laughing out louder with Fletford and Haley? Yeah. Okay, so 0800 dials at end. This is what you want to know this morning, Haley. You can text through 9-696.

What did you hear through the walls? What you've heard through the walls, whether it was juicy goss or it was Haley in her Melbourne apartment. Because it turns out... living her best life. Turns out you've got very thin walls. Very thin walls as discovered when I had the TV on low and I could hear it all the way from the elevator. Oh my God, oh my God.

Oh my God. Someone's just messaged in. This conversation you're having is led our teenagers to inform us that they can hear us having adult fun times through the wall. Oh, no! We had no idea until now. Thank you. Oh.

How do you even bring that up with your parents? Well, you don't until the opportunity arises. How does the opportunity arise? You listen to a radio show and they're talking about what you can hear through the walls. I see my mom and dad. Well, I'm a lot of, I don't know why you're laughing. We hear you doing it. And it's just like,

wow. Okay. But hey, if you're a teenager and your parents are still sexually active with each other, that's a great sign. Yeah. Well done to mom and dad. Yeah, well done to mom and dad. They could be sharing you at the weekends and dads.

Yeah, they're getting it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because then they're like anxiety and all the stress and slain. Yeah.

Yeah. He's got himself a prescription for something, but that's just putting him in a higher heart attack. He's always having midnight meetings. Mom's dries abode. Zoe, good morning, Zoe. What did you hear through the wall? Well, so we had this one neighbor when we lived in an apartment, and she'd always be blaring her music and talking really loud. And one day, whenever we were walking by, we overheard her phone conversation talking about the affair she was having. Now that's a conversation you probably want to have at lower decibels You know she she did not know how to use an inside voice

Every phone call with her yelling you could hear her down the hall So it wasn't necessarily the walls between the apartment It was the fact that it was just one door and there's a gap under the door So you could hear it in the hallway Yeah yeah Wow You could hear it all the way down the hallway What was she saying? What was some of the things she was saying?

I don't remember specifics just something Well she she wasn't the way one who was in a relationship sleeping with someone else. She was the one who the guy was using to cheat on his wife with. Oh, okay. She was the other woman. And then you'd see her just walk down the hall and you'd be like,

oh, no. Oh, my God. I know. Oh, no. Did you know what? She was always very nice when she saw that. Okay, so you knew what she looked like. Yes.

Because it would be weird hearing that and I'd be like, I wonder what they looked like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Zoe, thank you. Some messages. I was staying at a very sketchy Airbnb in New York and I heard screaming through the wall

and I was like someone's been murdered and then thump, bang, bang, bang, bang, and we were just like, oh my God, what would you do? Bang on the door, turned it out, someone was showering and a rat came up through the drain pipe. And they screamed when the rat popped up in their shower.

Yuck! And the rat's like, can I drive you, like on Radatooie when Remy? And they're just like, ah! They screamed and then that was them falling over, the thumping that sounded like the murder sounds. I share on you for going. and knocking. You know, you think you hear

danger. Because a lot of people wouldn't, would they? No, no, you'd just blow it. I share a home with a lovely gay man and he has a very active nightlife with lots of visitors, sometimes multiple at once. And our walls are so thin, I've learnt a lot of things. The gays live, don't they? The gays are they? The gays

they live. They live it. I listen through the, oh, okay, I listen through the toilet wall at work that backs onto the manager's office when I know these disciplinary meetings. What? It's gold. You go to the When you know someone's getting in trouble and you can like lean against the wall and you can hear it through on the toilet. It's gold listening to people's bullshit sub stories. Do not call me.

I won't talk in here. I love that. Don't not call me. I stay at motels a lot for work when I'm traveling and I can attest that tradies and contractors have the best gossip to overhear through a thin motel wall. Really? I thought motels are someone like cinder blocks. They'd be harder to hear through or are they just like thin walls. Okay.

I said two nights in a month. motel in Tikapur. On the second night, I couldn't sleep and I was complaining about the neighbor snoring so loud through the walls. Turns out it was my girlfriend at the time playing a recording of me snoring the night before on a Bluetooth speaker hidden in the wardrobe for payback. What? That's pretty funny.

That's so petty. I love it. We were in Southeast Asia, and one night, the first night we're at a hotel, the people in the room next was very rambunctious. Second night, they fell through the wall doing it. What? So that's not what did you hear through the wall That's what came through the wall

Yeah please call us back when we do the fun and topic What came through the wall Yeah We won't accept that story now We're saying I mean bravo Amazing so good Yeah

Also now that's on my bucket list To fall through a wall To be added To make love so hard That you go through some gym Yeah but it's not saying so much You want to make mark out You want a stud phone beforehand mark

Mark where you need to go plowing through Yeah it's not so much that you're good at sex. It's just bad at balance. Just that you're heavy enough to fall through a wall. Yeah. We were staying at a gorgeously expensive resort in Bali. I was pregnant and tired.

All we could hear all night was a dad yelling at his kids until 3 or 4 a.m. All night. We couldn't hear the kids. Just the dad being an absolute asshole. I started banging on the wall town to shut up and calm down. Breakfast the next morning was extremely awkward when we were the only two families there. Oh. Calm down, Tampa, our holiday.

Oh my God, I heard a murder. What? What? What? I was eight years old. I was visiting my Nana's sister in Auckland. We heard a fight breakout. We got very quiet and then went very silent. This was during the day that night, the house burnt down and they found the dead body in the house.

Get out. What? Oh my God, that's so, I didn't think, I thought we were like, oh, I heard someone have sex. That's a wild story. I lived in a flat. There's so many I lived in a flat with four other girlies and Stonefields a few years ago. Stonefields is an old quarry in Auckland, right? They decided they'll bang a whole lot of houses.

Like a million. It's a million townhouses. Yeah. Right. And you can imagine with a million townhouses, the walls were thin. I was freshly single and I had to listen to my nymphomaniac friend enjoy her life, like clockwork at 9pm, 12 a.m. and 4.30 a.m. every day. Get it.

Two of my flatmates were also from Christchurching on several occasions thought we were having an earthquake because their house would literally shake from the various encounters. They've been through some trauma there and they've shifted up to a Stonefield's townhouse and it's no better. I lived in Japanese-style apartments in Wellington. The couple next door were very active, but sadly she didn't reach the top of the mountain once in the nine months that they were our neighbours, and we heard them. You can tell.

You just want to go next door and say, look, would you like some tips? Yeah. Yeah. Less this, more this. Also, what's a Japanese style? Take the Hillary later and go up the other slope, you know. What's a Japanese townhouse? A Japanese-style apartment?

Yeah, does it just have those sliding frosted doors? Rice-paper doors. Rice paper doors. My neighbours were like a live reality TV show. She was being evicted and decided the way to avoid being evicted was to declare her part in apartment a sovereign state. Oh my God. Then it turned out that her partner was in trouble when the cops turned up to

and there was a full on screaming match and it turns out she was pregnant, which he didn't know. She was eventually evicted by the cops. All this graciously provided by a thin wall and potentially an air pressed against with a glass when they went a little bit quiet. Oh my God. You've got a soap opera happening next door. through your wall. It's amazing.

We can't read that one out. That's a good one, but that's not for Ronnie here. Oh, born. I heard my mum and dad planning how they were going to tell us they were getting a divorce when I was about 10 through a thin wall. Oh, that's sad. I mean, stop planning. It's done. My partner and I were getting ready to go out in town in Queensland and we're having a tickle fight.

And I banged into the wall and obviously the screaming and everything. Ten minutes later, the police knocked on the door and the neighbors had called us in for a domestic violence. It was a welfare check. It was very embarrassing when I said we were just having a tickle. Tickle what? And then obviously the police probably wouldn't believe you.

They'd be like, well let's... Can we come in? Show me the evidence of the tickling. Yeah. Somebody asked, as we just said before, about the family on this very topic, learning from their teenagers in the back of the car this morning

that the teenager's going to hear them being rambunctious. Someone said the minute you started talking about this, my daughter looked about it, said, not now, I've just dropped her at school. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't know. So good,

so good. Oh. I just love that people are out here living, eh? The ZDN Podcast Network. Play Zat N's Fleshhorn and Haley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Uh. I do do do do do do do do.

Do do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do do do do the last time it's Stuart Island we're here at Fact of the Day and today we're talking about the animals that are only found on Stuart Island nowhere else oh yeah we've got there's a few of them because I do I didn't know that too the last time Stuart Island was attached to the South Island was 7,000 over 7,000 years ago during the last ice age because during ice age is two or one ice the first one with the sloth okay she didn't really love that joke It was funny. It was really good.

It was connected for an hour 30. Okay. Just during the initial premiere of Ice Age. It was a full promo thing. They froze the ocean. It worked fantastically. What a character was Sid, eh? Sid the Sloth.

So cool. Sid the Sloth. It was Dennis Lerry as the Sabbertooth Tiger that I really, like, he softened up. He was the fletch of the movie. Yes. He was the flet of the movie. Your Sid de Sloss and I'm Ray Romano as the Woolly Mammoth. Okay.

Is that fair? Yeah. Fair casting? Fair casting. Yeah, I think maybe you and I'd sort of jump between Ray Romano and Switch each other. So 7,000 years ago was the last time it was

attached. And so that means it's had 7,000 years of pretty much isolation for species that kind of like were over there when the water started going on, we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And the ice broke off and they're like stuck there. And the land that was between it got covered up by water. Which if you've been across Fovostrad on a ferry,

you think, this thing must be deep because good God we're rolling. Yeah. How long does the ferry take? Like how far away is Stuart Island? 30 kilometres. Oh, okay. 30 kilometres. Do you know tomorrow?

Maybe tomorrow I'll touch on the people that have swam it because I've read when I was over there some interesting histories about the people that have swam. Fovos. It looks sharky. It is sharky. It is sharky. Great whites are down there and such.

But anyway, during the last ice age was the last time it was connected. So it's had a fair bit of isolation. And, you know, 7,000 years is a lot of time for, because if you're over there, It's a small island. There's probably going to be some men breeding. There might be a lot of. Yeah.

Cousin stuff. You know if you're an animal. No, we won't dwell on it too much. But of course, the Kiwis look a bit funny over there. There's Stuart Island Kiwi. Yeah. The Rakiora Tokueka is the Stuart Island Kiwi. And they're not like other Kiwis because they're diurnal, which means they aren't only out at night, which is not.

Because I've seen so many videos of people just being on Stewart Island and they see Kiwis during the day. And I'm like, how? I was. So gutted when I didn't get it. If you go out to Olver Island, which is its own little sanctuary, there are Kiwis during the day. You see them all the time.

Oh, I want to do that. Is there an inner bit and an out of bit of Over Island? It's very hard to find for me. It's at the top. It's so hard. The top's got a lighthouse on it, and I still couldn't find my way there. It's usually like blaring light at you,

and you're like, where is it? It's got around here somewhere. Yep. And then we're done and we just, we don't bother. Yeah. Yeah, there's a couple of tunnels in there. Yeah, it's all worse. There's more than one tunnel, which kind of moving on all right.

So there's a few differences. It's the largest. And it's chicks remain with appearance for ages, whereas most Kiwis kind of are on their own. So it comes out at day and night, and there's about 13,000 of them. So it is a Kiwi hotspot to go down there. Okay.

The Muppol... I've never seen one in the wild. Very jealous. Yeah, I saw one at night time from a little bit of a distance. Yeah. They don't look like they should function. No, they make no sense. Having seen one function, they still don't look like they should function.

Yeah. It's a really beautiful, beautiful bird. The Fovos Shag is a special move I learnt when I was on the island. They teach you that at the pub did, they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, look like a little buddy out of town. You want to learn the Fovow Shag? They only do it down there.

Okay, Brian, just be gentle. So, again, because of isolation, that shag is different to other shags around it. There's Harlequin Gecko, which is only found on Stewart Island. It's nowhere else in the world. There's a couple of beetles. Fletcher's telling me to hurry up because he doesn't want to hyper-focus on beetles. I don't think it's necessary. It's five to ten.

So what I'll just tell you is that due to the fact that's been isolated for 7,000 years, there are species of animals on Stuart Island that you'll find nowhere else in the world. World. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do. The Z-M Podcast Network. Vaughn's $10 suburb. Well, right now, it is your chance to win cash with Vaughn's $10 suburb, $1,000 Street. It's been won the $1,000 Street twice.

Yep. It's so fun. It's so fun. We will randomly generate a suburb somewhere in New Zealand right now, and if you're in that suburb right now listening, call through 0,800 dials at em, and if you're on the street, randomly selected before we go on here. It's in an envelope. That street has already, it's been picked. Cannot be it.

Yeah. If you're on that street, you win the $1,000. Okay, so we're going to randomly generate today's suburb. Manurewa. In Auckland. South Auckland. Manurewa. Okay, so if you are right now in Manurewa,

oh 800 dollars in him, you need to call. Right now. If you're there, call us. Now, we work out the area. It must be a big, it's a big suburb. It's a massive suburb and a huge population. And I've just googled how many roads or streets are in the area. 500?

Cheapest. Okay. Terrible odds. You're going to have a one in 500 chance. Tash, good morning or Tash. Good morning. You are currently whereabouts in Maniorewa? I'm on Alfriston Road.

Alphriston. That's a famous one. Alfreston, road. Because the traffic ladies always like, no, not Elfistran Road. There's a two-car pile up. Two cars. I'm like Alphriston Road.

Alphistram Road's not in Maniorewa. It's in Alphristin. Oh, no. I'm pretty sure it's the suburb. No, it's according to the maps that we go by and the post codes, the start of Alphriston Road and the end of Alpherson Road. Oh, my God, Hon. Oh, hon.

Oh, wait, hold you. She's like that. Hold your horses. Hold your horses. Hold your horses. Oh, it'll be unlike Vaughn to be wrong. No, no, no, no, no. That's never happened before.

We're a bouts on Alphriston Road, though. I'm just on like the start. I live here. I'm by the gas station bed. Okay. Do you know your postcode? 2102. Is that at Vaughn?

Is that the postcode? Check that. Check that. 2102 is, but I'm just... She's at the gas station. It feels like you're gas lamping her right now. It does. It does.

It's a gas lamp on her. You guess, I'm going to look up Zed, Maniowa. Meniwaiwa. I don't apologize to that. Absolutely. They're trying to Manurewa. I'll have it's die hard.

Okay, it is on. It's on the cusp? It's absolutely on the cusp of Maniwaiwa and Maniorewa East, which is its own suburb. Okay, but are we saying if she's there that she's in the suburb? Really? Jesus. We need an exact location right now, at the Z. Are you at the Zed?

I'm not at the Zed, but I'm just a few houses away. So she's in the suburb, Vaughn. Give it to her. It's 10 bucks. It definitely is. It's 10 bucks, Vaughn. Well, she's calling it, but I'm just like, that, that petrol station is literally the boundary. Holy.

It is literally the pledge. I'm just going to have to underplug. Okay, standby, Tarsh. I'm just going to go to an adjudicator, Tash. Just standby. Okay. I'll play some waiting. All right, okay.

And that's the boundary line. Oh, yeah. Now, are you towards the McDonald's over the road or are you further away? Yeah, I'm towards it, so I can see it from my house. Right, so yeah, she's in there, Vaughan. She's there. Yeah, she's there. Are you on the corner of Great South?

Yeah. Yeah, she's in the boundary. Yeah, she's on the corner. You are literally meters within. There we go. $10. Yay. She's in the suburb of Maniorewa.

You are today's winner of $10 suburb, but we now have a chance for you to win with $1,000 street. Shannon. Producer Shannon. Wait on, Willow, please. And we're also going to need some tissues on aisle three,

spilled his coffee, and all the excitement. Right, okay. Luckily, not on the wiring. It's all gone. Okay. Now, what road are you officially on? Well, I am on Alfriston,

but you said it's the corner of Great South, so I don't know. Well, what's your, is your postal address? Yeah, what's your, or Great South? No, it's Alfriston. Okay.

Okay. Okay. but I'm standing on Great South. Okay. Well, you've got to... Wait, so you've gone outside. You've got to pick one. Physically, you're on Great South.

Okay, well, you've got it. We're going to have to lock in Great South. Well, that's the road you're on. That's the road you're on. Yeah, yeah. I will today open the envelope. You do the envelope. Oh, do it.

Stand by. Great South Road's one of the biggest roads in Auckland. It's great, isn't it? And it's south. There's a North too. Okay, today's $1,000 street. Oh, stop. but you evil man what is it it's great south road

it's insane you literally when you're like i'm on our and then we got where you about you are i'm like she's gonna be got it oh my god i'm gonna cry what a thousand dollars a thousand dollars we've had two in a row now oh my god that's crazy i mean we probably picked that they're probably generated one of the two most popular streets in the suburb who cares yeah turns right through the middle What are you going to spend the money on? I had no idea. Probably new tyres for my car.

Oh, that's good for Zay. Yeah, they're not cheap, eh? Well done. Tash, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you, guys. $10 suburb, $1,000 street. Wait, they're warm.

Instantly transfer the $10, as he always does. So get the banking app open. But you will have to wait for the company corporate wheels to churn out your $1,000. Your $1,000. It's all thanks to the One Roof app. You can browse homes for sale. rent with the One Roof app, download it now. Oh my God, the amount of people messaging and be like,

okay, this is bullshit because I'm also in Maniro, we're on Great South Road. Where's my thousand dollars? You didn't call, though. You didn't get through. Tash was quick. Well done, Tash. We'll play again tomorrow for $10 suburb, $1,000 street. Play ZM's, Flesh, Foran and Haley. How to know if you are a placeholder partner? This is straight from a psychologist's mouth.

And a few studies done by people with PhD at the end their name? Wow. How to... Yeah. So a placeholder partner would be a temporary or just... I'm just... They're just there.

So, okay, what is a placeholder partner? One person in a couple treats the other as a seat filler while waiting for someone better. Doesn't that suck without telling them? So it's not honest. It's not like we're just friends of benefits until... I feel like you could tell though, right?

If they're... Some people get blinded by it and really... I think I can change them. How many people have you seen in a relationship? You're like, that's not going to work. And it's because the person thinks, oh, I'm going to change them. Yeah. So why it's increasing they believe it's because dating apps create a paradox of choice.

So there's endless options available to us. So when we meet someone that we're always like, I wonder there could be someone better. Like monkey barring. You know, because it's constantly like, your monkey barring, which we've talked about before, holding on to one before you're, and then grabbing another before you let go over the other one.

Red flags to watch for. This is how to tell if you are a placeholder partner. Future talks make them uncomfortable or gets dodged. So they don't want to think too far ahead because they're like, I haven't really landed on you being the one. Months in, you still haven't met their friends or family. They have a bit of a wandering eye and they're keeping options quietly open, kind of still looking around, looking around.

Their Instagram for you page is all just hot models. Calm down on that bullshit. Oh, calm down on that. You know, you know. Rich coming from us three, that's all I'll say. and hot and cold behavior that you keep making excuses for because you don't want to admit that this is maybe the position that you're in. Now they did mention, I don't want to be setting bloody flames and relationships that don't need it.

It's not always sinister. Sometimes it could just be a pace mismatch. You know, like you want to move faster and there a little bit more slow burn or something like that. And this is going to shock you as often it does come down to. the same thing every time we talk about relationship issues. Communication. The best thing to do, ask them directly. How do you feel about me?

If that question, if you're going, oh my God, I couldn't ask them that, it's because you don't want to know the truth. And it probably means that there is a reason to ask it. Oh, okay. No one wants to feel like they're not the priority, if you're looking at a love. And you're just wasting time as well if you're a placeholder.

Exactly. And you'll never change them. If you're not good enough in the, from the very get-go, then they're not good enough for you. The Z-Am Podcast Network. Play Z-Ns, Fletchhorn and Haley. Kiwis are getting stung by the lazy tax.

Yeah, it's costing millions of dollars every year. It's not shopping around, right? It's not learning how to do something basic. It's like, Haley, you're bad at this with your subscriptions. Yeah, really bad at that. Yeah, you just like, kind of, they just happen, and then you just like, oh, I'll fix it one day. But there is like, I mean, God, cost of living absolutely changes this. But there is that thing where you weigh up.

How much, you know, is this going to, how much is this going to, like, weigh on me and take up my time? And how much do I want to do this versus just paying someone to come and do it? Now, can I just ask quickly, I'm not paying you, but, Vaughn, have you done my hedges? I haven't done your hedges. I asked weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The weather's not been right for it. away on holiday. I mean, what an

asshole going away. Yeah, and not prioritising your hedges. That's crazy, man. But I will get them done. We'll see what the weather holds is. But it's that kind of thing that it's like, I have a hedge trimmer, I have a ladder, I know how to use it. And I'm like, sometimes you're like, I just want to pay

a guy. Because it's easier, because it's easier, right? I can totally see why, if you're in a family and both parents are working, I can see why people get house cleaners. Oh, you totally. Just to keep Just because hours are lost. If you're working, you're getting home, God, what awful.

The last thing you want to do that. Even though you know you can do it and you could probably do it in an hour, you're like, what, you know what? If you can find the money for it, that'll take so much of your shoulder. What do you want to give up part of your weekend? If you get weekends off doing that. The lazy tax is Uber Eats, right? Because how many people finish working are like, eh?

I could pick it up on the way home or I could just meet them when I get home. Exactly. The worst is when you have a fridge full of food. And you've literally done groceries, planned all your meals maybe. and you're like, yeah, that's wasteful. Shopping around is another big one as well. You just see a price and you're like,

well, I'll pay that so you buy it. This blew my mind and I would encourage anybody, I'm about to tell you I have a pool, so what was me, first world problem? He's doing it tough. I know, guys. But I ran out of this like certain chemical and I asked Claude, the AI,

I took a photo of the bag. I was like, is there like a cheaper alternative to that? Dude's like, man, that's just baking soda. Like, go to the farm supply store. I got a 25k-g bag for like $42. And if you buy it in a 3k. K-G bag as pool chemicals, it costs you 30. But it's just baking soda.

Dude, it is nothing but baking soda. You should make a giant vinegar baking soda volcano. Yeah, in the pool. In the pool. We're not in the pool. That's a stupid idea. Are you making your pool vagina-friendly? Yeah, well, no, you've got to keep your pH right. Yeah, you do.

Hey, my pool is also an ally. But that's true. Like, you just buy these marketed chemicals, and all it is is chemicals and basic stuff. It's just a logo on the front, and it's in a fancy bag, and you're paying a fortune. tune for it. You should shop around with these sorts of things. Okay, well, this is what we want to know this morning. Oh, 800, Diles at Em, you can text for as well, 9-696.

What's kind of, I guess, what's the lazy tax you're paying? Yeah. What are you just like, screw it and just pay for it when you could probably do it cheaper? We're talking about basically how are you paying the lazy tax, paying for something that you could do for yourself or do cheaper. Yeah. But it would require some effort to do it. Do you know, people have been pointing out the payway of lazy surcharge?

I think about it. every single time. I know, because... Far too busy to insert. Yeah, you could insert and put your pin in, but save yourself up to 2.5%. But then, you're right, like when you think about how much you spend a year...

And sometimes I'll do it on, like, large purchases. Yeah, I know. Say it's like a few hundred bucks, and so the pay wave surcharge is actually quite big, and then you're like, Haley! Yeah. What are you doing? Man, this is the most interesting one.

We've got a text. I loat putting duvet covers on, so I pay someone once a fortnight. to come around and put them on. I do the laundry, but I have someone else come around and make three beds. I've ripped duvet covers apart

with rage from not being able to get the inner in properly. So now I just pay someone once a fortnight. I just do what I do and I don't wash my duvet cover that much. Like I wash my sheets. I wash my sheets weekly. Yeah.

I'd maybe do the duvet cover once every like couple of months. If it got dirty, I would. Yeah, if you do on top stuff. Well, you never do on top stuff. No, never do on top stuff. Not with a duvet. I've learned that because I've got a navy blue duvet. Oh, Haley, no, no, no.

No, no. I've got a black duvet. Yeah, you don't do on top stuff of the duvet. I know. The other day my mum was like, maybe I'll wash this. And I don't move that. Selina, what is your lazy tax that you pay? I got out of hairdressers every week because I don't like washing my own hair.

So you get them to do it for you? Absolutely. That's nice. Do you have quite thick hair? Yes. What does that set you back? 50. Oh, yeah, actually, that's not bad.

I thought it was going to be more. I thought it's going to be more. It's not bad. It's nice. I say you get a little bit of a head scratch at the same time. Do they dry it too? I absolutely. Like full style.

You know what, this is 50 bucks well spent, to be totally honest with you. Yeah, I think so too. And a little treat, like a little pan paret for yourself. You don't have to have shampoo and conditioner at heart. People probably spend that alone on those fancy shampoos and conditions. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's true. Absolutely.

Okay. Okay. Do you have a regular time? Are you always like Tuesday? Yeah, it's always a Friday. Friday's my pan per day. So Friday, often here dresses every week. My friends all know. That's so great.

I love that. That's so good. Selena, thank you. Brittany, what is the lazy tax that you pay? Instead of doing an hours at home, I'll go and get them done because they can't be bothered with taking a collar shop and then sitting

and then waiting and doing it again. Yeah, ma'am. Is that you too, Haley? Oh, no. I mean, I can't do what Sophie, who will be loving this phoneer, by the way. Sophie who does, Haley's Nails, loves this part of the show where we get callers. It's a favourite bit. I can't do what she does.

But, I mean, I've got lots of friends that do this. They'll go to a nail person and get something quite basic that you could technically do on your own. But, again, it's that same thing. It's just like nice for someone to take care of you. Do you have one of those lights that you put your nails under, Brittany? Yeah, I do. I have the whole kit. You've got everything.

Yeah, I've got everything. It's just easy when someone else does it. I get it. Brittany, thank you. Some messages in. I pay for a cleaner. I pay for a car washer. I pay for groceries delivered.

Dog to be groomed. Child care. Brackets. I'm a stay-at-home mom. Close brackets. But I grow and make my own food from scratch. That's cool. Okay.

So what is that balance out? Yeah, I think so. A little bit of a balance out. Servicing my car or my wife's car. I'm a certified mechanic, but I can't be able to do in that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like plumbers, getting in a plumber

or a sparky, you're getting in a sparky, right? Because you're like, I don't want to work at my own home. Yeah. If you're a plumber or a sparky, you're doing your own stuff. Saves a money. That would cost you a fortune. She thinks they took her car to work a couple of weeks ago and serviced it, but I just paid one of the boys to do it.

Always have, always well, come to mold with that. Can't be fluffed. Yeah. I've got to clean it for my bathrooms. Sealing floor to sealing tiles as an M. M. F.A. Yeah, those are the worst things to clean. Tiles. I told you about my brush attachments, right, for the drill. Yeah, but no one's got time for that, Vaughn.

Dude, it cuts your cleaning time down by like 100%. Yeah, right. Well, my cleaning time is currently zero minutes. It's already cut down by 100%. It's already cut down, yeah. There's a small business in my town, Queenstown, that you pay, and they'll come around on bin day and take your rubbish bins out to the side of the road,

and then at the end of the day, bring the bins back in because people forget in. I'm sorry, how lazy are people you can't even take your own bin out? Yeah, but so what about, elderly and elderly alcoholics. Because in their... The bottles are so heavy if they're... It's too heavy.

Started down the driveway, they'll get shoved onto Franklin Road. Yeah, true. And how much... Are these just kids doing this or something? I guess so. How much do they pay for that? I don't know. And do you...

Do you reckon you pay for how long the driveway is? Oh, maybe. Maybe you negotiate the price per... And they work out if you're an elderly alcoholic. Yeah, because my bottles, when I'm older, you know what I mean? That's going to be significantly more than others. Yeah, you're not going to be able to live on a hill. A hilly driveway, that's for sure.

God, no. Somebody said petrol. I could easily bike to work. I have a bike. It's not far, but I'll just bomb paying for petrol. I would not be if I wasn't having to be right. But you always say in the morning, I'm going to bike. You know, in the night before I'll buy.

It's starting to get cold now and you're just like, I'll just get in the car. Yeah, let's see how long that stays up, though, with petrol prices. Pay for all day parking as well. Here we go. I live on a rural driveway and we're too lazy to walk the rubbish bin out, so we pay a company $20 to come and pick it up from the house when we could take it out for four. Wait, $4. is that much gas.

Why would it cost them? Oh, $4.4 is the weekly charge of having the bin. Oh, yeah, right. Right, gotcha, gotcha. My partner gave up work to look after our family, but then it turned out we had a cleaner, a gardener, a pool person, and I did the shopping. So this person is no longer my partner. It turns out they just weren't doing anything.

Right. So, but, oh, 484 said, ha, ha, ha, ha, your duvet's black. Why are they laughing at my black duvet? What's wrong with my waffle? I've got a black waffle too. Black sheets are the devil. You never buy black linen. No, no, no, no.

I've got a grey and that's bad enough. But again, no on top stuff. No on top stuff. No on top stuff. I'm going to stop doing on top stuff. If you just chuck it on the floor. If they flop themselves on the bed, you're like, excuse them.

Hold on up, up, up, pop, up, pop, up, up, pull the duvet from out of London. Oh, we get pillow princess. No on top. No on top. No on top. No, we'll pull it back. Do it on those white sheets. And the same.

You wouldn't think it, but white hides all manner. And while we're at it, put the matching pillows on the floor too. The black pillows, clear the canvas. No on top stuff on the black pillows either. Throwing the black pillows. I like leaning them against the wall because if they go face down, they pick up a bit of the wall. Yeah, they do get dusty.

So sexy. Hang on, I'll just put my pillows against the wall. Fold back the do of this. Pillar against the wall. And only one pillow on each side. Because he's allocated pillow. Put that. Yep.

Okay, great. And you're finishing. They're asleep. This is why your face looks like you can't have sex Playes Playes, that ends Fleshhorn and Haley Some money's been spent

To get police to come back home to New Zealand These are police officers that were lewd across the ditch to Australia Oh I didn't realise that that was a huge thing You know like doctors we know And teachers and stuff Oh man there was that massive Australia Really came for our place They said you can come to Australia and keep your rank

and go on to the whatever we pay that ring. Yeah, and you get to take the guns and tasers home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you get to play with the lights. And you can shoot kangaroos if you want, like just heaps of them, not yourself out. So many job perks. You can practice your shooting on kangaroos.

Yeah. That's awful. And so, like, actually, it was a trick because if you answered yes, please, to that question, they're like, we don't want you, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, gotcha.

Gotcha, gotcha. So it's only $35,000 spent to get police time. Two have returned home so far. So it was like a marketing campaign. Yeah. And that's cheap if you had to run a marketing campaign, $35,000 is not getting you anywhere, really. So it's got two of them home. And it got us thinking about people who have moved overseas and then move home and like it better.

And we're like, actually, you know what? Like we pooed on this beautiful little slice of paradise and moved overseas for more money. But more money wasn't worth it. I want to be home. Yeah. I mean, there are so many more job opportunities in Australia and they do pay better. But you're over there now, Haley. I was in Australia last week.

I don't think the supermarket prices are that much cheaper than New Zealand, to be honest. No, I do. I mean, booze is so expensive if you go to the liquor store here. I bought what I thought was an exorbitantly expensive six-pack. And when I looked in the pack, I turned it was a four-pack, which made it even worse. Yeah. It is crazy. Well, we are.

I'm getting sober over here, and that's not even my choice. Could be a positive. Cook a little part. I just, I jest, I guessed. Did you move over? overseas and then come back to New Zealand and liked it better. Okay. This happens in London, right?

People go off for their O-E and they come back and you're like, this rules. I mean, I never did my OI in London, but talking to people, you don't want to arrive in a winter. I think you want to do a summer in New Zealand and then leave at the end of that summer and go in, or a little bit later into autumn and arrive when London summer's kind of kicking off. Yeah, but that's when everyone goes. So sometimes you want to get the jump. London summer is still our. autumn.

Yeah. Well, it was actually a 50-50 pile. Oh, okay. Of yes and no, when you moved home because you liked it better. Some feedback, and Mike said I moved back after 10 years in the UK. It was so grimy over there and pies were awful. Pies were awful. We've got great pies.

We do. I was recently in Vicaraglant didn't have a fat bassist's pie. And I tell you what, it's haunted me. I almost think I need to go back to Havikargo for another fat pasta for a fat bass. I haven't had a pie for ages, actually. Yeah, I haven't had a pie for a while. Should we get a pie when I'm back? Yeah.

Go out for pies. We'll go out for nice pies. No, I'm talking like top tier, like a $15 one. Oh, I was just thinking we'll just get a big bed and sit on the park bench. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. It's all about the company. It's more about the company, isn't it? Yes, it is.

Beautiful. Tara said, I've lived in Denmark and now Argentina. Oh, okay. Crazy. Sorry, I haven't lived in two of the hottest countries in the world is out. Yeah. Got a bet everyone's real ugly. We have a perfect balance in New Zealand and been safe and beautiful.

But, and a little bit of tall poppy to keep you humble. You can't beat it. Yeah. You can't beat it. You can't beat it. I'd probably still rather live in Argentina. But anyway, carry on. Imagine an Argentine and Denmark, a Danish Argentine.

Well, it's kind of a brown skin and light eyes. Dad's from Argentina, mumms from. Yeah. And you tall lay the Denmarkians. The Danes. The Danes are very tall. The Danes are tall and straight. Light-eyed.

Yeah. Jesus, take the wheel. Riannon said, I moved to the UK, had a baby one year later and realized New Zealand was the place to raise kids. So back. Yeah, beautiful. Sonia, answering on behalf of my partner, we met two years ago when he was visiting home. He moved back permanently late last year after 20 years in Melbourne. It's for me. Hi, it's me.

Love is alive. Yeah, nice. Angel says, jumped over to USA and worked in Texas driving tractors for a year. People are lovely, but the food's shit and everything wants to eat you. Yeah, the food in America is terrible. It would be hard. It's fun for a holiday. It would be pretty hard to live on.

100%. Or if you're in like a food hubby area. But yeah, in L.A., it's like, y'all. Oh, okay, Georgia shots fired here. I moved to London and visit New Zealand every 18 months and never actually want to visit, but I feel obliged to. London's everything.

I will not be moving home. Yeah, I know people that have moved over and they're like, I'm not coming back. And people that have moved to Aussie, they won't come back. Angela said I didn't move back for eight years, but when I did move back, Because it's where I want it to be long term.

We really do have the best little country. Twice, says Minisher. Obviously, a slow learner. Yeah. Twice it's happened to me. Well, let's see when World War III's raining nukes down on Europe and the UK, where you want to be? Yeah.

What? What? You don't want to come home now? You're going to come home now, dear? We don't want you. We don't want you. I want to come home because I've got nuclear burns. Oh, no radiation poisoning.

I lived in Australia for five years, came back home to be near family, near family and start a family. you can't be in New Zealand and Kristen said I only came back because birthing baby number one nearly killed me and we didn't trust

the medical system like we do in New Zealand just popped our baby number three a couple of weeks ago and we're looking forward to moving back overseas next year so come home come home

make the most of our first world public health care and then when that's done piss off again you want a health care well nuclear bombs get dropped on you or whatever Fletch said before

I didn't say that that's what that sounded like man It sounded like you want a nuclear war over here. We're just, we kid. But, yeah, for course your little poll, we said, Interesting. Did you move overseas and then come back to New Zealand because you liked it better? And 50% of you said yes, 50% said no.

The ZN Podcast Network play ZN's flesh, Foran and Haley. I'm considering a wee purchase. And when I say we, it's going to be rather expensive. But I think in the long run this could pay off. And I'd actually love to know 9-696 on the text machine if this is something that you do. I, it better not be another taxidermy something. No, no, no, no, it's not. We're in a cost of living crisis.

Fuel is going through the roof. We can't be making... No, no, no, no, I know. I'm not, I'm not making it. No more dead animals. I reckon we're on the precipice of seeing the fuel price issue flowing on to the cost of everything else. Oh, 100%.

It feels like we're just really about to start feeling how intense it is. Even if the war is all over, today or tomorrow, it's going to be months and years of things getting back to normal. Like, yeah. But we're all... Hey, hey, hey, light. I'm going to let you with a...

Shut up. Yeah, he, he, he, he. Light and bright around here, guys. What do you go up for us, Ailey? What do you think of about buying? Okay, so, you know I have difficulty with my hair. I have very, very thin and fine hair, and a lot of it fell out when I came off of my contraceptive pill because I've got PCOS.

and one of the symptoms can be hair loss, right? So I've got very, very thin hair and I pay and I get extensions in little micro, whatever they're called, keratin bond extensions. Right.

This is where they kidnap women in third world countries that shave their hair off and sell it to white women in other countries. Previously, yes, but you can buy ethical hair and I make sure that they do it.

Wait a minute, he was joking. People were actually doing that. Are you in case? The producer girls are like, yes, wait, this was a thing? Yes. They were kidnapping long. people in shaving their head.

When you started the joke, I was like, stop, it's real. There's like a million documentaries on it. It's really tragic. It's a horrible industry. I was joking. No, no, no, you've got to buy, you've got a source. It's called remy hearing. It's like, it's ethically sourced.

It was very popular from churches as women would use it as like a sacrifice, and then companies would buy from the church they're here. The church was selling there. Oh, well, come on. Now, the church isn't doing ethically ambiguous things for money, are we? I cannot believe. It's easy now. It's more ethical now and you can find out where your hair comes from.

I would say given the texture of mine, I don't know, she's ethnic of some kind. Like it's nice and thick and I'm jealous. It's nice and so. How do you know that the hair is ethical? Is there like a certificate or something? Yeah, there genuinely is. There's like places that certify that the hair is. This is just absolutely blow in my mind.

The chickens that grow the hair. They're not in cages. Yeah, the chickens. Free-range chickens. I've got free-range chicken hair in my head. So I do this, but like I've still got my own hair in there, but it's so thin, and I'm just never that happy with my hair. And I have been looking at this for a while,

and I've been thinking about it because I work in TV, and I've got these performances and stuff, always have to get my hair done. I'm considering maybe buying a wig. Okay. So I only kind of recently found out that a lot of actresses or... Just wear wigs. Musicians, yeah, they only wear wigs.

They have short hair or the hair's always at a length that can be popped under a wig. Yeah, or it's super, super damage and they're like, screw this. So, and it does seem funny because wigs of days gone by are so obvious, right? And you'd see them and be like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, well, Brisco's lady has a wig. Brisco's lady is a wig, hey. I know she's gray. But then she started going gray and it was like CBF, but kept the look in the commercial.

CBF. So you can get these things called topers, and they're like half wigs. so you wouldn't put your own hair. It kind of, it's like, it's a hair extension meets a wig. 966, if you use one of these, by the way. Okay. It's a hair extension meets a wig, and it's smaller, and it kind of incorporates your own hair into it.

And I'm like, imagine if any time I was on seven days or any time I went on stage or anything like that, I didn't have to worry about my own hair, damaging it, it falling out. It's... Plop on top-o. Yeah. There's a store for it in New Zealand and Auckland. Yeah, superior hair.

I know. got them. There's one over here in Australia. That's why I'm looking at it called Luster Here. I'm just like, I've just been following these for ages and I just thought, how much are we talking here at Sylvia Park in Auckland? How much are we talking about in Australia, Haley? What a surprise. Because you know what? You could do that tourist refund scheme. You've got to have the goods on you, but you can just have it in your hair and point to it. And I do have to say, and it's a cent back. It is not accessible for everyone, but I work in entertainment, you know, like my look. It's a cost. It is a cost because I get my hair done for television.

of the time and I'm performing in front of people all of the time. It's a tax right off. They're over $2,000. Oh, Jesus Christ, Haley, no. For ethically sourced soup top, hair to offer. Get a painted rainbow one. You'll be able to tell. You'll just be able to tell. Ah, get a rainbow one. It'll be your quirky thing. Yeah. I know, but think about how much I pay for my hair extensions,

which is, I mean, that would be twice. That would be two sets of hair extensions until they had the full cost. You could probably give up booze and siggies for a month and pay for that. Oh, well, you could probably give up just having fun in a nice life. Don't come at me for my lifestyle Fletch, I'll fly back. Anyway, genuine, I'm just like looking at it. So if you see you one day and you're like, I would do it if I was you. 100%.

It's like male toupeees, but long. Yes, yeah. And you don't, it doesn't mess with your own hair. It kind of just sits on top. And then your own hair can grow underneath and kind of recover. And you've got the hair to back it up, whereas men that wear two pays, it just looks literally ridiculous. No, but even now, they're doing better two-pays for me.

Way better. I've seen way better. Okay. I guess Instagram's worked out on board because I've got these guys, and they're just like the best two-pay applyer in the business or whatever. Oh, my two-pay queen. It's two-pay queen. It's too-pay queen. You'd never guess.

Wow. Okay, well, update us on this. I'm excited. I counted 79 all rights today. Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, fuck off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those, too.

All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, fuck off. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.