ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 16th January 2024

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Haylien News!  Top 6: Queen of Denmark  Silly Little Poll!  Producer Jared attempting to make friends  Hayley's Fly SprayVaughan nearly got "THE" Text!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Feeling good, feeling fine. Feeling bloody good. I'm actually online shopping already. It's 6.02.

Are you? Mm. What are you buying today? Well, at least you're buying it and not shoplifting it. Well, that's why I'm on the website. What? I'm on Creative Works because I've actually bought a dress from there. Right, okay.

Yeah, right. And then it reminded me that I like this shop. Yeah, right. So it's actually been good for business, this alleged shoplifting. So what you're telling us, an alleged shoplift from an MP that is high profile news is the sort of advertising money can't buy. I need to, yeah, it's the advertising, it's hooked me

because I went, what's that shop? I've shopped there before, I love this store. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. I'll make up for the wrongs. Oh! Anyway. Coming up on the show, the top six. Vaughan, what have you got today? Well, yesterday Oh, anyway. Coming up on the show, the top six.

Vaughan, what have you got today? Well, yesterday, the official ceremony happened in Denmark for the new king and queen. Why is this such a big... The queen abdicated. Why is it a big deal? It's a royal family. Even in Denmark. I always forget that there are heaps of European countries

have kings and queens. The Netherlands do, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do. Does Spain still have one? Or did that poo-poo after the revolution? Yeah, I don't know. The Inquisition. Nah, I don't think that Spain does have one.

That doesn't sound right, eh? Family. The monarchy of Spain or Spanish monarchy is the... No, I don't believe they do. Nah. I feel like if there was a monarchy in Spain or Spanish monarchy is the... No, I don't believe they do. Nah. I feel like if there was a monarchy in Spain, they'd be hot. So hot. Like young and hot.

I thought it said Queen Latifah, but it's Queen Leticia. They do have a royal family. If Queen Latifah was the Queen of Spain, it would be a hilarious movie. Yes, it would be. About a sort of a fish out of water situation. Yes, and somehow Steve Martin's in it. It would be mad not

to have Steve Martin in it. Of course he is. The man is a treasure. It's headed by King Philippe V1. What's V1? Version 1. 6. Yeah, version 1.0.

I thought they were always Philippe. That's why the Philippines are called the Philippines. Because they were invaded by Spain. Yeah, colonized them. Invaded, colonized. Leticia is the name.

That's my nana's name. It's spelled L-E-T-I-Z-I-A. Oh, no, that's not her. No, it's not Queen Leticia. It's not my nana, I think. Well, the new queen of Denmark is an Aussie. She was born in Hobart. They met when he was in Australia at a bar.

Oh. Yeah, nanda. Now, despite... Caitlyn Jenner. Oh, jeepish. She does look like Caitlyn Jenner. Who looks like Caitlyn Jenner? The queen of Spain.

The queen of Spain. Queen Latifah. She looks like Caitlyn Jenner. Tell me that doesn't look like Caitlyn Jenner. You've got your glasses on. Yeah, I can see through. It doesn't mean I can see through your microphone. You're holding it up.

Why aren't you using your X-ray vision, Clark Kent? Those are what they are, the glasses. They're Clark Kent. They're the disguise. Oh, so he can see under your clothing. You're looking at my boobs. Anyway, the Queen of Spain is an Aussie, so I've got the top six signs that the Queen of, not the Queen of Spain, the Queen of Denmark is an Aussie So I've got the top six signs That the Queen of

Not the Queen of Spain The Queen of Denmark was an Aussie all along Wow Yeah Well that's what you've got But up next I've got An apology You're apologising soon

Why? For your alien news a few weeks back Or last year You've got a correction to make I have a correction to make But I also have more evidence of alien life Oh okay Stay tuned However next I've got a correction to make. I have a correction to make, but I also have more evidence of alien life. Oh, okay. Stay tuned.

However, next I've got some scientific insights for people who sniff themselves, like I do. Don't we all sniff ourselves? I'm a big sniffer. I'm a big sniffer. If you want to sniff how clean your hands are, you're just like... If you want to sniff any part,

you put your hand in it and then you slowly move it to your mouth, you see it to your nose, you know, subtly sniff it. We all sniff ourselves. If I'm by myself, I don't even bother with subtly. I'll be like, strange, sniff. Straight into the balls and into the nose.

No, to the, yeah, the, well, yeah. More gently, even when you're by yourself. That's embarrassing. We'll dive into self-sniffing. It's disgusting that you're you're by yourself. That's embarrassing. We'll dive into self-sniffing. You're doing that to yourself. Great things are brewing. Now, I have always been afraid of smelling. You know when you smell something or someone, your first instinct is,

oh my God, is it me? I don't want to ever smell any part of my body. I don't want it to smell. I don't want stinky junk. I don't want stinky pits. I don't want stinky pits. I don't want stinky breath. I recently had to tell my mother, not that she smelled, but we were talking about this, and I said,

people who smell cannot smell themselves. And she's like, no, they simply must. I know. I was like, no, they can't. Otherwise, they would be dealing with it. People don't. No one is like, I'm happy to stink. Unless you've been like, if Aaron's does it sometimes,

or if we had a big sweaty day in the house, working in the yard, the company would be like, man, sorry, I absolutely stink. Exactly, but you are aware of it, so you apologise for it. Some people can't be, because they simply can't smell themselves. You smell some people at the gym and you're like, why didn't you use, can you not smell this? I know, I know. Or like people with halitosis,

like terrible, like chronic bad breath. Such a fear of mine. I'm like, oh my God, just tell me if I'm a halitosis person. Am I a halitosis person? No. What? I've got rank gums.

Do I have rank gums? Remember who Dentist was in touch with us personally and said not to bring that up. That's right, that's right. He's working on it behind the scenes. He's really doing it as much as he can back there. It's very nerve wracking.

We don't stink, do we? No, you're not stinky. You're not stinky people. You don't have stinky feet. You don't have stinky anythings. Great. And we work out together. I would say.

I would say. Well, there's been a study that looks into self-sniffing. As a race, as a human race, we've got a lot of time on our hands to be looking into self-sniffing. Have you ever, as a human race, we've got a lot of time on our hands to be looking into self-sniffing.

Have you ever, and be honest, like given your butt a scratch and then sniffed it? What? Yeah. 100%. But you do it, you scratch the butt and then you leave it on your fingers for a bit and you sort of engage in the conversation and then you're like, I'll go to it, she knows.

Does it quick. Yep. What a poo, that stinks. There's something about smelling your own body that's kind of addicting. Well, this study has sort of released its five insights into self-sniffing. One, the hands are the most

commonly self-sniffed body part, but I think only if they've touched another bit. Because the apparatus that gets you to the armpit. To the crack of the balls. Yeah. That gets you to the armpit. Yeah, yeah. You can't directly sniff your own anus. You've got to use a sort of vessel. It's not possible for us to sniff our genitals.

It's not. It's not. Sort of an olfactory delivery service. Yes, it is. So the hands are the most commonly self-sniffed body part, followed by armpits, hair, feet, and breath. Oh, yeah. But again, you're using the hand.

You smell your feet a bit. I wouldn't sniff my hair. Yeah, I can't. I don't have any. But you do see people go and run it under their nose. I think they would be tickling themselves, but you'd probably also then have a little bit of a sniff. Give it a waft.

Yeah. Worn T-shirts are the most common piece of clothing that people sniff. Well, you give it a sniff test, don't you? Like, does this need washing or can I get another day out of it? So it goes worn t-shirts, then worn trousers, because those are the ones that you're safe for a sniff. Like a trouser, you're like, oh, yeah, you can get another use out of those. Then it's socks, then it's underwear.

Ooh, don't sniff socks. I know, but when you pick it up off the floor, I mean, socks, I feel like look obviously worn. Yeah. Whereas undies, sometimes you're not sure and you do have to get a nose in there. And then, God, if you get it wrong. Three, this is

the third insight from the study of self-sniffing. Three main types of self-sniffing that I identified. Socially acceptable self-sniffing. Three main types of self-sniffing that I've identified. Socially acceptable self-sniffing like worn clothes maybe armpits. I got caught doing it the other day and then a woman looked at me and I was like

not good. Intimate self-sniffing body parts that people would typically not sniff in public due to social taboos such as the navel. What? The navel does stink.

I have never sniffed. The navel does stink. As in your tummy. Get a finger in there. Your tally button. We're going to a tally button. A tally button. Your tally button.

It's your tally button. I haven't heard that since, I'm guessing, the 1990s. Aaron, this may be a little bit intimate, but Aaron likes to shove his nose into tally button. I haven't heard that since, I'm guessing, the 1990s. Aaron, this may be a little bit intimate, but Aaron likes to shove his nose into my belly button. Does it stink? Yeah, they do have a smell. They definitely have a smell. Because you never wash in there.

I mean, you do. You do, but you don't, right? No, not too hard. I do until it makes me feel sick. I hate my belly button being touched. I hate that. Same, that's when Aaron puts his nose in, I'm always like. Okay, the third type of self-sniffing

was cosmetic self-sniffing, like perfumes, shampoos, trying to. Oh, yeah. So we're like quicker to sniff our junk than our perfume, weird. Okay, the fourth insight, scientifically, men and women sniff themselves differently. So men are more, have a higher frequency

of intimate self-sniffing, the balls of the butt, whereas we go for more breath and arm rights. You've got to run and check, don't you? You don't want to be smelly. I know, especially if something fun's going to happen. Got to run and check. Okay, the fifth insight for the self-sniffing study

was that people with health problems sniff themselves more often than healthy people. This suggests that sick people check their smell more often to check for changes in smell due to illness. Oh. Knowingly or? I don't know. Okay.

Interesting. It just said that it showed more of the socially acceptable self-sniffing. Right. This is, again, another reason to wash our hands. Yeah, wash your hands, man. A lot more. Because people are stuffing them in their anus

and they're giving them a sniff. And then you're shaking their hand, man. And then they're opening that door that you're using right now. And then they're putting their fingers in your mouth. Oh! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Hello, this is Halian News. Now, I do have an update from a story from 2023 of Halian News. You may remember in Peru there were some alien-like figures seized by the government. Which you claimed at the time was absolute definitive proof of aliens. I supported the idea that these were extraterrestrial beings. Right, okay. As was being presented to Congress, Mexican Congress at the time. Now, they looked like they were really small, like the size of,

I don't know why I want to reference a Tickle Me Elmo, but that's the size that came to mind. Do you know what I mean? Just that sort of toy size. Yeah. Doll-like creatures that had these alien faces and rib cages and whatnot. And then there was this guy who's a ufologist.

That's the thing, isn't it? A ufologist. A ufologist, self-described ufologist, Jamie Mosen. Well, if you're a parent that's disappointed that your child's about to start university in the next month and they're doing a Bachelor of Arts or Fine Arts, at least they're not a ufologist. Yeah, indeed. So he presented them and it was like, this is definitely alien life.

This is not made of plaster or any kind of thing like that. It is made of a bone-like material. Well, scientists have been investigating this and apparently wasting their time, and it has been proven that these are not aliens. They are, in fact, dolls. However... Dolls what? Made of bone?

The dolls are made of bone. Right. So the dolls are made of a human living organism, a once-living thing. These things were just kids' toys from what? So the dolls are made of a human living organism, a once living thing. These things were just kids toys from what? Wait, made of actual bones? Made of actual once living organism bones. They didn't have China, did they?

They didn't have tic-o-me-almos. Yeah, well, that's what they're saying. They had sticks though. They had Aztec corn chips and chocolate and that was it. Yeah, that's all they had. That's all they had. So they just think that these are really old, like still probably a cool discovery,

but they're just dolls. Okay, so this is an apology, is it? Is it an apology? I'm not apologising. Okay. Sometimes we alienists get it wrong. Okay, right. However, this was really exciting.

The other day, because we've been having a little bit of, you know, on your local Facebook community page, a little bit of dodginess on the streets. Oh, really? People sniffing around houses. Oh, yeah. So the street's been alert. Everyone's been a bit on like high alert.

And our neighbours said, they went away the other day. And they came back and we saw them. We're like, hey. And he was walking around his property, like looking around. And we were like, what's up and we saw them, we're like, hey, and he was walking around his property, like looking around and we were like, what's up?

And he said, we just saw this really weird thing on our security camera and because they'd been checking it a little bit because of this activity to make sure while they were away and you cannot explain this.

It was on their like back porch thing and it was a floating light. There's no other way of describing this light. It sounds like a lens flare. No, it wasn't a lens flare. It was like a hovering, moving light. Yeah, that's a lens flare, isn't it?

Someone might have had a torch. Yeah. No, it was moving in a more organic way than a human with a torch trying to break into their home. There's simply no more organic way to move than a human. No. Aliens. It was more floating, I mean. Right, right.

More floating up and down and side to side. So like a light. It was an aura, maybe. Yeah, like a glowing orb. Like a ghost. I want to say like a glowing orb. Wow. Okay.

Wait a minute. Are you talking paranormal news and you're talking alien news? I'm talking aliens. It didn't feel paranormal because it was glowing. It was more glowing light. It was literally an unidentified floating object. Right. Okay, right.

A.k.a. a UFO. So aliens. While I am debunking one alien story, I am bringing my own that aliens have actually been hanging around my area. And I'm going to find them. And then I will capture this myself and have definitive proof for you non-believers. I see it. I see it in your eyes. Yep. Yep.

I see it in your eyes. Yep. We're skeptics. I'm going to bring this in and then you won't be able to deny any more Haley and news. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Haley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Well, it's nearly

her 52nd birthday. On the 5th of February, she'll be turning 52 because she was born in Australia, but now she is the Queen of Denmark. Wild, eh?

Mary Elizabeth Donaldson. Was she just on her OE and met a hot... No, he was in Australia, right? Oh, okay. In 2000, Mary met Frederick while attending

the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. They married in 2004. They've got four children. And her mother-in-law abdicated from the throne. She's like, I've had enough.

I'm going to chill out. Tired. Do some stuff. Eat some Danish's, I assume. Yeah, good pastries there. They've got Do some stuff. Eat some Danish, I assume. Yeah, good pastries there. They've got good pastries. Yeah. Probably do some Lego.

That's from Denmark, eh? Yeah. No, I've got that wrong. Is it? Danish. Lego. Isn't that Swiss? No, it's not Swiss.

No, it's not Finnish. Finnish was Nokia and Angry Birds. Denmark. No, Lego's from Denmark. Yeah, it is, yeah. She wants to build some Lego. She's got some Lego sets she needs to get into. So she's now the official queen of Denmark. No, it's Legos from Denmark. Yeah, it is, yeah. She wants to build some Lego. She's got some Lego sets she needs to get into. So she's now the official Queen of Denmark.

And she's Australian. Amazing. Crazy. I've got the top six signs that the new Queen of Denmark's in Aussie. Number six on the list. The drinks at her wedding were a good Adelaide Shiraz and a Goon. And the beer was 4X or Fosters. Important to have options.

Oh, yeah. You've got to. You've got to have options. You can't be to Fosters. Oh, you can't. You simply cannot. Ice cold Fosters, important to have options. Oh, yeah, you've got to. You've got to have options. You can't be the Fosters. Oh, you can't. You simply cannot. Ice cold Fosters. Number five on the list of the top six signs of the new Queen of Denmark's in Aussie.

When they told her she was going to live in a castle, she thought they meant the castle. Oh. Bonnie Doon. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She was sadly disappointed because of the lack of serenity. There was not enough serenity.

There was not enough serenity. There was not enough serenity. Tell him he's dreaming. No, I'm three souls. Number four on the list of the top six signs that the new queen of Denmark is an Aussie. When they honeymooned, they honeymooned in Bali. Bali, of course. Bali. It's so close.

Of course, so close, so cheap. Yeah. So cheap. Number three on the list of the top six signs of the new Queen of Denmark's and Aussie. Since becoming the Queen only a couple of days ago, she's already dropped the C-bomb a dozen times. In a complimentary way.

With a G in front of her. Yeah. Yeah. Good on ya. Your G. Yeah. Yeah. That one.

Number two on the list of the top six signs of the Queen of Denmark's and Aussie. She's a bit racist. Yeah. That one. Number two on the list of the top six signs the Queen of Denmark's an Aussie. She's a bit racist. Yeah. You know? Like can name any Pacific Islander that has played league for the Melbourne Storm because that's her team.

Doesn't say their name right. But couldn't name a single Aboriginal place to save her soul. Oh, absolutely not. And number one on the list of the top six signs the Queen of Denmark's an Aussie. Her crown has corks hanging from it. Yes. To keep the from it. Yes.

To keep the flies off. Yes. Yeah. Lego flies. Lego flies. Yes. Lego flies, Lego corks. It's a hell of a combination. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch Vornanalee. Play ZM. This is a really embarrassing moment that was captured on phone because there was a gentleman working out at a gyme, otherwise known as a gym, and he was filming the workout. Okay. As so many people like to do. I know.

I see people doing this and I'm like, I don't want to be in the back of this. I'm in the background. I'm not getting paid to be an extra. Yeah, exactly. Contact my agent. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That's official.

Yeah, exactly. Well, he was filming, I believe he was doing maybe the cable row or something because he was seated. Oh, yeah. Okay. Was it good upright? Was it good posture? Okay, good form. Yeah, great form.

Looks like a very fit fella. Okay. And then there's a little moment where he just like pulls his headphone to the side and he's like, oh, excuse me. And you hear this like female voice being like, and he's like, no. Now, the interaction that occurred was

she had gone up to him and said, excuse me, can you please stop staring at me? As in like, you know, you're being a bit of a gym pest. Now, Vaughn knows all about that. Because how I'm very actively, well, I'm led at, but very actively avoiding anybody thinking I am. He's literally eyes down, eyes forward. Remember when I walked into the gym and I shoved my finger up your bum?

He was so shocked because he was so focused on. Yeah, blinded. Got my blinders on. Punched me. Anyway, so she's like, can you stop staring at me? And he was like, absolutely not. If anything, I'm staring at your boyfriend. And then it's so funny because you see this interaction happen

and then he tells the story where he's like, I was working on my dump truck. And he just is honestly the most flamboyant homosexual of all time. And this woman is like, and he explains it basically. He thought he was looking at her. No, he thought she was looking at him. And then so he just like shot her a little smile. And she saw that

as being like, ugh, another gym piece hitting on me. The way he tells the story is so funny. Like he's just clearly

into the boyfriend and she said, he said it. It was like, I'm looking at the boyfriend. The boyfriend's hot. That would be so embarrassing. I clearly,

I just, you go from thinking, oh, he's checking me out because I'm so hot. He wants a piece of me. He wants a piece of this and he doesn't and he wasn't. In the description he describes it as, you have none of the right, oh, he's checking me out because I'm so hot. He wants a piece of me. He wants a piece of this and he doesn't and he wasn't.

In the description he describes it as you have none of the right, quote, facilities for me. He's looking at your hot boyfriend and not you, Han. God. I mean, I'd just like anyone to look at me at the gym, do you know what I mean? Okay.

I was in the female only gym to avoid interactions like this yesterday and well I guess I sort of look at the woman but there was a woman I was on the bike pebbling at 5 level 5 of 11 and there was a woman

next to me on the stairmaster which is just insanely difficult it's like harrowing she was motoring she was like a firefighter going up like harrowing yeah she was motoring it was like she was running she was like a firefighter going up the bloody sky tower right motoring and i looked at her and i was like whoo go and i with a thumbs up as you just looked away like you're such a loser oh i mean it more like go you good thing go you're doing it you're a bit of gym encouragement a gym encouragement yeah oh my god and yesterday i was out for a walk i'm on a journey to health yeah You good thing God. You're doing it. You're a bit of gym encouragement. A gym encouragement. Yeah.

Oh my God. And yesterday I was out for a walk. I'm on a journey to health. Yeah. I was out for a walk and there was a chick running and then she ran past me and I was walking and I sort of went, hi, hi, as you do on the street. Yeah. And then she'd obviously looped back round and then ran past me again and I was like,

ah! And she sort of laughed and I took off my headphone and I said, keep going! With a thumbs up. You're doing a lot of thumbs in. I'm doing a lot of thumbs in. Thumbs in. Get away from me. No, she giggled.

Right. But mate, I hope she didn't think I was like, keep going, you unfit slob, you know? But it was more, I'm just trying to be encouraging. I'm not a pest. I'm not a gym pest.

What's a gym pest? Wow, wow, wow. Sounding like you are. She doth protest. Oh my God. Play. ZM's. She doth protest. Oh, my. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little po. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. F'what? F'would you prefer to f'where to f'work?

Is today's Silly Little Pole. What would you prefer to wear to work? Uniform or general dress? Like, adhering to a general dress code. Yeah. Or uniform. It's like the school uniform, isn't it? It's the same thing.

It's easy. And then you don't get teased for wearing the same like two clothes over and over. To be fair, the reason that this popped up is because Hooters, the American... Hell of a win. Hell of a chicken win. Oh my God, I went to Hooters. I've never been to a Hooters. And it was quite funny.

On holidays just now? Yeah, because it was like right by where I was staying and there was nothing else around. And like the food's generally pretty good. Food is great, but they were like skimpy waitresses and I was just like,

this feels very wrong. It's weird how like it's just survived. So Hooters is typically a white t-shirt with a Hooters little baby t-shirt with a Hooters thing

across the boobs and a little pair of shorts. And now I've released a new uniform, which is a black t-shirt and these black little shorts. And everyone's like, why are people complaining about the new Hooters uniform? People being the employees.

They're exactly the same. They said, no, they're not. Look at the back. They're a cheeky undie. Wow. They're basically an undie. It's a lot of butt cheek. They're togs at the beach.

Yeah, they do look like togs. So much ass cheek at the beach this year. So much ass cheek. Not complaining. Right. Not complaining, simply an observation. Wow. It's a lot.

I don't know that I would. It's so much flesh. Yeah. It's so much flesh. And you've got to be careful you don't get burnt, because, you know, that's probably the whitest part of the body. Very. Yeah, definitely.

I did a little butt sunbathing the other day. Yeah, very tender. To try to bring it out, you know. Right, okay. But anyway, that's the reason we part of the body. Very. Yeah, definitely. I did a little butt sunbathing the other day. Yeah, very tender. To try to bring it out, you know. Right, okay. But anyway, that's the reason we're talking about uniforms. So 45% of people would prefer to wear a uniform. 55% would prefer to adhere to a dress code. Well, there's quite a lot of people wanting to wear a uniform.

It is. I think it's just because it's easy, right? Yeah, it's so easy. You don't have to worry about your own clothes. I hated wearing a uniform at high school because I wanted to express myself. Yeah. So I had to accessorise and hide it.

But I get it. And it was so easy for my parents. Yeah. Expensive though. I bet your school uniform wouldn't have been a cheap one. It wouldn't have been a great... It was a $1,000 starting... I remember it was a $1,000 starting point.

Because my granddad bought it. He was like, I'll buy it for you. And it was blazer, cardigan, tunic, shirts, tie, shoes. It was a $1,000 starting point. Ridiculous, eh? I don't think I would have had $1,000 on uniform my entire time in high school. Well, that's why my blazer in third form was so big because my mum was like, hell, this is lasting you the five years. And it did. That's good stuff blazer in third form was so big, because my mum was like, hell, this is lasting you the five years.

And it did. That's good stuff. I know. Ugh. Farc 8. F-A-R-R-K 8. No name. This is suspicious.

Grogu is their profile picture. Grogu from the Mandalorian. Far says Kate. Never having to think of what to wear would be amazing. Pro uniform. Yeah. Sounds like fashion's to think of what to wear would be amazing. Pro uniform. Yeah. Sounds like fashion's not her passion. Might have been a hey.

Not sure of the gender on that one. I thought it was just Kate. Far. Oh, Far Kate. Oh, might be. Kate. Kate. Breanne says, I like guidelines but not a few uniform,

like black pants and a white top sort of thing. Unless working in a clothing shop, I reckon that shouldn't be a uniform or regulation. It's just you should be wearing the clothes that you're selling. Yeah. I'm a teacher. I'd rather wear a uniform that can get sticky, messy, dirty than my nice clothes that I have to wash constantly.

Also, like, if you're a teacher, you're getting teased if you don't dress well, right? Yeah, totally. Like, blame. What I'm saying is the teacher called Mr. Brown Sword should not have worn brown cords. Oh, yeah, he's asking for it. Oh, my God, brown sword, brown cord.

Brown cord. Brown sword, brown cord. Do you know Mr. Brown Cords? And he'd be like, what did you call me? And they're like, brown sword, do you know? What's classic? Don't wear brown cords. That's mean.

They are so nasty. One Hayley to another, fashion is my passion. Kia ora. Anti-uniform. Yeah, same. HelloMyNameIs says uniform means I have to wash my normal clothes much less. Yeah. So they're pro-uniform? Hannah, uniform means I can roll out of bed,

get ready and choof off to work all within 10 minutes, give or take. Choof off. Never heard that? No. Choofing off to work. I'd say toddle. Yeah, I'll toddle. I quite often toddle off to work. You toddle off to work.

I should off to work. Do you toddle or tottle? Is it toddle or toddle? Toddle. Toddle. It's toddle off. No, toddle. Yeah, it'd be toddle.

Toddle. Toddle. Because you're toddling like a toddler. That's why they're called toddlers, because they're toddling around. Off you toddle. Off you toddle. Off you toddle. But I'm saying toddle, but it's T-O-T-T.

Yeah, it's T-O-T-T-L-E, right? Is it? No, T-O-T-T. To walk in a wavering, unsteady manner. Toddle off. Toddle? It's toddle.

It's toddle. To walk in an unwavering, yeah, I've got this thing, yeah. Yeah, but you say it toddle, as you would say... The meaning of toddle is to walk with short tottering steps in the manner of a young child. So you've used tottering in the definition for toddle.

Yeah, they've said by explaining toddle, they've used toddle. Right, okay. That's cooked. Welcome to the English language. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Out of the quiet moments of summer, I thought to myself, it's time for a friend kill. They won't know what's happening.

And if you're hearing this, you've made the cut. I think it was. Are people still doing that on Facebook? I haven't seen it for a while. But then I would unfriend someone that did that. Yeah, you'd be like, let me help you out. I would quite happily, after seeing some memories and statuses come up

over the summer break, just get rid of my Facebook. But I need it for like the groups that I'm in and chatting. The community pages. That's the only thing, yeah. Yeah, same. Can you just get rid of everything else but keep that? You can keep the chat.

Or you could just delete all your friends. You can change all of your stuff to only me. Yeah, right. Yeah, make, you could just delete all your friends. You can change all of your stuff to only me. Yeah, right. Yeah, make only me and then delete all your friends and then you've just be part of groups. Yeah. But then your chats and stuff, you need to be friends with people for that.

Yeah, true. It's too hard. I think it was when there was 30 people at my house on New Year's Eve that I thought, it's time to cut this in half. Wow. And then I went to bed at 9.30. Which 15 friends are going? You will never know

And they won't either Okay They'll just be like We haven't seen Vaughn for like five years And that's when they know Oh my god He did that cull He did that thing he does

Yeah And then at the other end of the spectrum Producer Jared's making friends 30 last year and making friends No, no, no, no, no You've made all your friends by then It's time to start No, no, no, no, no. You've made all your friends by then. It's time to start chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Producer Jared, making adult

friends. Yeah, trying to. It's hard. Why? What drew? What made this occur for you? Like, what did you want? Why did you want to do this? Oh, I didn't. Yeah, it wasn't on my list of things to do was making friends. You've got the midi and you've got friends already,

so it doesn't matter. I've got my four 40-year-old friends and my two my age friends. That's usually enough. But now I reconnected with an old group that I used to know and I was kind of like, oh, I kind of miss these people. I want to be friends with them. Oh, wow. So it's sort of a re-ignition.

A re-ignition is worse than making a new friend. I'm sort of into it. I'm sort of into it. I like this idea. It's so awkward. How did we fall out of favour? Because they're going to have to discuss that at some stage. Well, do we?

We don't need to bring that up. Someone's going to. The loud one. You've had a reconnection with some old friends. Yeah. And now you are feeling some anxiety around this. Yeah, like it's kind of like when you start dating someone or you like someone, you're like, oh, do I message them today?

Oh, my God. Or I did text them yesterday. I don't want to sound annoying. I don't want to seem overly keen. But I don't even think with dating there are rules now. Like you've got to wait for them to text you. I think there's a peeling away, but I feel like it's almost more with the friend thing. I get

it. Really? I don't want to seem too keen. I don't want to seem too full on. Like, I want to hang out. What are y'all doing tonight? But that's not how adulting works. You don't want to seem too keen. Yeah. So what do I do? How do I, what's my next message?

I think, yeah, I would, because you know, I'm a collector of friends. Yeah. I'm going, I'm going the opposite way. The more the merrier. I've made so many friends in the last two years. It's unbelievable. And I love them all. And they'll all be bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Wow. So wait, Vaud and I are now back on the wedding invite list? Yeah, you're back. Top tier. You're back. But all the gays, the gaggle, everyone else, they're all on. You guys are all coming. It's a wedding of 300. I would just go for it because I go, if you were to message them and then, like,

what's the worst that could happen? They don't message back. What if they never message back? Well, that's okay. Then they're not worth your time, Jarrod. It's their loss. I also said this to Jarrod because he brought this in as a private discussion point and we said, let's chuck it on air.

You don't have full-on energy. And I know full-on energy. I'm a bit much. You know what I mean? Okay, well, pull back. You don't have that energy of someone who would get a message from you and be like, God, that guy's so back. You don't have that energy of someone who would get a message from you and be like, oh, God, that guy's so annoying.

You don't have that energy. No. No, I don't think I message anyone incessantly. No, and you've got a chill vibe. I think if they don't message you back, they're not worth your time, hon. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? You've got to value yourself in that way.

Game play, we can't do it. My word of the year is self-worth. Yeah. That's two words Or one It's hyphenated It's hyphenated It's hyphenated

It's like one and a half It's 1.5 words My phrase of the year My phrase of the year Yeah I am enough You are enough Jarrod Okay

You're a beautiful friend And they would be lucky to have you And if they don't see that Then let them go But so I should message them Maybe tomorrow Not today You don't be too full on Well it's certainly not 7.14am Jarrod Oh yeah Don't see that, then let them go. So I should message them maybe tomorrow, not today? You don't be too full on.

Well, it's certainly not 7.14am, Jared. Oh, yeah, don't be that guy that gets up at 4am. That also sounded like the chat the hot girl gives the ugly girl in the group about boys. No. Yes, it is. No, that's not what I'm doing. That's not what I'm doing. Yesterday we had a little something to do after the show

and I sat down on one of the couches in the main office and there was a cushion on it. I'll say it was tacky. It was gross. We need to work on the design in there. And I saw the tag, you know, just like the maiden blah, blah, blah, copyright, da, da, da, thing. I ripped it off.

I was like, blech. And then I can't remember who it was made a comment Shannon made a comment about the audacity of me just coming and ripping off a tag and I said

god it's not like it's from Cheetah meaning the New Zealand design store Cheetah C-I-T-T-A with all the furniture and the bed linen

all the furniture and the sort of scandy looking stuff nice bed linens nice cushions oh it's posh all over New Zealand the the store, right? Yes, indeed.

And then Fletch was like, cheetah? That's not how you say it. Well, it's sitter, isn't it? I always thought it was seater. C-I-T-T-A, there's a thing over the A, but that's because I want to be posh. No, the thing over the A is because it's Italian and cheetah means city in Italian.

And as my mum chimed in, she heard the tease. My mum who's done, you know, speaks Italian and lives in Italy. She said Citta means city. And then Citta, the store, would always name their new season after a city. Oh, okay. Like the Milan season. You're 100% wrong. Was it always an Italian city or did they do like a Hamilton?

I don't know. I don't know if it got a Hamilton range. Yeah, I don't know. Hamilton would be nice. A couple of lion red cushions. With some ciggy burns in them. CI is pronounced with a chi, like a chiabata. Oh, okay.

God, look at that penis drop live on air. Chiabata is C-I-A-B. So for you, it would be C-I-A-B-A-T-A. C-I-A-B-A-T-A. You'd say, what do you say, Sita? Sita. And what do you say? I've always said Sita.

Sita. I've never really known, but I've never thought about it too much. That's bad vowels in any language. Yeah. The I, Sita. Sita. This is beautiful watching you realise this, how wrong you were, because you wanted to have a debate about how you say it, suta. Suta. This is beautiful watching you realise this, how wrong you were, because you wanted to have a debate

about how you say it, but you're just wrong. And she even said, with two T's, you actually bounce off each other so you can hear both T's. Chitita. Chitita. Chitita. Chitita. Chitita. And then I said to mum, I said, mum, I know.

You don't have to tell me I've got it right She said I know How embarrassing For those peasants Well we were public school We were public school We didn't have a thousand dollar uniform See yeah mum

Look what all your money Hundreds of thousands of dollars In education has done My mum doesn't go and live in Italy She will splash out on a pizza A margarita Hawaiian Her favourite

Because it's got pineapple And processed ham bits. Yeah, yum, yum, yum. A buongiorno Italiano. She'll do a pasta as long as it's not too much. Sometimes they're a little too much. I feel like your mum might like a white-based pasta. I like a white-based pasta.

I'm talking an Alfredo. I'm talking a Carbonara. Yeah, of course you do, you're basically. You don't, you know, nothing red inside or anything like that. Does Christine do a butter chicken? Or is that too much for her, your mum? I don't think she'd do a curry, to be honest. Yeah, she'd be scared of it.

Wow. Well, a lot of people are just realising that it's cheetah. Really? Yeah. Okay, well. So, bonjourno. Somebody messaged in, it's definitely Cheetah. I met a lady at a course who worked there, and she said she worked at Cheetah.

And I was like, oh, what do they do? And she said interior designs. And I was like, oh, I have to look them up. I've never heard of them. And she was just like looking at me like, how can you never have heard of them? Then it finally dawned on me she was saying what I had been saying, Seater. Yeah. Or Kitter.

All along. Okay, well, I'm not alone then in that one. Oh, I'm not alone. She said I couldn't bring myself to speak to her again at the course because I wanted nothing more to be like, I totally knew it was Cheetah. Of course. Well, there you go.

Lesson learned, everyone. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I am a precious cat owner. Oh, my God. Rolly, just side thought. It's just trigger warning. Yep.

I lost a cat two years ago and recently lost a dog, and I don't want to talk about either of them. Okay. Okay. Okay. Just trigger warning. I'm going to talk about my cat who's alive. Again, offensive.

I'm not rubbing it in your face. You are. You are rubbing it in my face. I mean, I've got two more cats and two more dogs, but I don't want to talk about it. I lost a cat four or five years ago. I did. I cleaned up his grave yesterday.

Oh, did you? Oh, the day before. Oh, lovely. No, just before we came back to work. Yeah, the day before. What a good pal. Cleaning up your friend's dead cat's grave. Well, rolling on the floor.

Look at those stones engraved. Engrave a stone. Can you do that? Yeah, that'd be beautiful. That'd be lovely. That's a nice gesture. Yeah. We'll do that for your birthday, hon.

Karen. Yeah. We'll do that for your birthday. Is it paper letter? Don't know. It doesn't matter. Do they do it at Mr. Minute? Hello, I like this stone engraved.

Oh, we cut keys and engrave collars. Engrave the goddamn stone, Mr. Minute. Okay, look, I'm going to show you a photo of my cat and it's full on. So Raleigh got in a fight and... That's an abscess. So the abscess burst and then he had to go get it lanced and drained and stuff and he had this horrendous You could see the inside of him

This whole The holiday And then like while people were around at our house On like New Year's and everything We were like Look away While we were like cleaning his wound You should have put a Minions plaster on him

Can't put a plaster on the fur No Did they not shave around the fur? Yeah they shaved it Yeah They shaved it But no plasters They had to breathe

They shaved my. But no plasters. They had to breathe. They shaved my pussy. Anyway, so. I wonder how often a vet, because vets have to do it, right? Vets have to shave it. And old ladies who love their cats, who are the first to have their cats to the vet, don't call cats cats. They call them pussies. Yeah, I know.

My mother-in-law calls her cat a pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My nana did. When it comes in from the rain you know what she calls it you know what I mean I just like can't even

and I just want to know that a vet has to stifle a laughter when the old lady's like oh you're not going to have to shave my pussy eh and the vet is just like

yes I am ma'am oh my god that would be the highlight of your day that would absolutely would be you've just euthanised the beloved family pet and left the Smiths,

three of the four Smiths absolutely bawling in the waiting room and you pop next to one of the old ladies like, I'm not going to have to shave my pussy. It makes up for the sad. It makes up for it. It does. It does. Also, don't even bother complaining about that.

We'll win that one. Because we were talking about what old ladies call cats. And if you drew any other conclusion, that's about your dirty mind and nothing to do with us. How could you do that? That would be disgusting. What conclusion are you even talking about? I don't even know what you're referencing.

That would be horrific. Anyway, well, speaking of – no, I can't. I was about to get in trouble. Speaking of cats, well, speaking of... No, I can't. I was about to get in trouble. Yeah. Speaking of cats, Shannon, you have been given control and care of your flatmate's cat? Yeah, so my flatmate's been in New York for a month now. Oh, must be nice.

I know. A month and a big apple. Yeah, all by herself as well. It's not cheap there. What is she, the new Statue of Liberty? She's house-fitting. Oh, she's filling in for the Statue of Liberty, taking a break. The Statue of Liberty

is on annual leave and she's just standing there like it is hard. It's cold. Send me your poor and your hungry and your heroin. No, not them, not them. People keep visiting me. So she's been filling in for the Statue of Liberty. The Ghostbusters went inside me and

sprayed all the goop, and now I'm fighting Stay Path Marshmallow Man. I arrived with a nice tan, now I'm green. I don't know what happened. No, she's done it real cheap. She's house-sitting for someone. Oh, nice. So she's staying a month. And she has a cat that lives in our house, and it's her cat,

but now she's gone, Aunty Shannon's in charge. Cute. I've taught him tricks before. He does paw. If you go paw, he gives you his little hand. That's cute. Very cute. I've decided to just keep teaching him things while she's gone.

Now he's fat. Yeah. Oh, you've been working on it. You've trained him. It's a reward. He does a trick with the paw and then you give him a... And he's just so cute that now every time I walk in the room, he puts his little hand up

because now he's because he's fat and hungry yeah you are a nightmare because I've had people look after my cat overfeed him you come back

and they just cry and cry and cry for food well now we also think he has a second family because he's bought home a new toy that was filled with treats so he's either

robbed another cat or he's got another cat looking for treats. I did this to Vaughan's cat one summer. Remember when you were in Thailand and I was in charge of feeding R.I.P.? R.I.P. don't want to talk about it. I thought we weren't talking about him. He's been brought up.

We're sorry. I think after three years I'll be ready to talk about it. But did you overfeed this cat? No, to the point where the cat couldn't drag its... No, but it always had a little flap underneath. But that's normal. It's got nothing to do with weight. The primordial pouch.

He never had it. It's a primordial pouch. It never had a primordial pouch. It's genetic. He couldn't drag his primordial pouch through the cat door. Put it in slag and get snagged. Because I was just, every time I saw it, I was like, you need more food. No, this is why.

How heavy is your cat? Mine's 4.3 kg. 6.7. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, I don't know how much he weighs because I don't know how to weigh a cat. You jump on your scales. Oh, my God.

Well, I don't know. But I normally pick him up and he feels, you know, like a cat. Now he's dense. Like, I feel. He's dense, boy. I don't feel his ribs anymore. I don't feel his life, Shannon. You can't do this. Oh, but look how cute. No. Bl he's dense. Like I don't feel... I don't feel his life, Shannon. You can't do this. Oh, but look how cute. Blame the neighbours.

Blame the neighbours. Well, that's the thing. Yeah, he's got this other family, I think. Or he's a ram raider. Yeah, he's a ram raider. He's ramming the cat door to the biscuits. He goes back. He charges forward. He's stealing Suzuki Swifts and reversing them into dairies.

And then stealing the sachets of whiskers. Give me all the sachets. This is terrible. She's going to be dealing with this long after. I know, and I don't know how to tell her. Do I pre-warn her? Is this your ginger pussy? Yes.

Okay. Yeah. It's the ginger one. But I don't know. Shall I message her in advance and say, hey. I've made your pussy a piece of chunk. I've made it fat. Yeah. It's the ginger one. But I don't know. Shall I message her in advance and say, hey, I've made you a piece of chunk. I've made her fat. Yeah.

Or do I just let her see if she notices? Maybe she'll notice. She'll notice. She'll notice. It's only a month, though. He's not that big. I can't believe you've... I can put on a hell of a lot of weight in a month.

We just had a month off. I think a full KGC video. And I didn't even learn any tricks. I just had all the treats. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. There is a woman who has shared a story online.

She went on a date. It was all fine. They went to a pub. I think pubs are a great place for a date. Not too much pressure, not too fancy, you know, not too quiet.

Clink, clink. You just get a beer, get a meal, for a date. Not too much pressure, not too fancy, you know, not too quiet, clink, clink, you know, tension. You just get a beer, get a meal, have a chat. Unless there's a pub quiz on. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I don't know. Watch the greyhounds on the screen. Yeah, exactly. Hit the pokies afterwards. You love a pub with a TAB and a pokies.

He loves a tavern. I love a tavern. The man loves a tavern. So, I don't support dog or horse racing, by the way. Because it sounded like you did if you go into these places. I've been to taverns with you when you've been like... I've been screaming, haven't I?

Come on, you bastard! We're off to the glue factory! Go, go, go! Daddy's last 20s on this one! Sorry, kids, no pun. So her problem with the date was not that the man was yelling at the horses and the dogs. They were chatting at this and having a little chat and then he was just reached over to a table nearby

and ate a sausage that had been left behind. Like leftovers. So the people weren't sitting there. They'd left. No, they'd left to go and their plates hadn't been cleared yet. He just said nothing and just like ate the leftover sausage. And then afterwards

she said, I thought he was joking around. And then he grabbed the toast that was with the sausage. Oh, not the toast. You don't eat old cold someone else's toast. I feel like it's a brunch and lunch. Toast is a morning bread. And also a pub brunch.

You know what that toast is. Rules. It's white bread with margarine on it. Perfectly toasted. Yeah, so he just proceeded, he ate two pieces of toast and a sausage with no plate. And then when she was like laughing and being like, haha, he's doing a bit, he was like,

no, I just hate wasted food. I dig it. I mean, I dig it. I don't like wasted food, but I'm not eating somebody else's. No, I would never do that. Well, I've eaten chips off of someone's plate at a restaurant, but they were still eating the chips.

Was this pesty drunk Hayley? It was pesty drunk Hayley walked into a restaurant and I was waiting for my food and I was like, ugh, and then I just went like, yoink, when they weren't looking. That's clitodacious. It was a little, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sure it's edible. There's something about it that makes me feel like it's gross. But you're not going ahead with a second date with this guy, are you? If he's doing this. No, no. No second date. She said she got the ick

for sure. And then everyone would agree being like, yeah, that's gross. Anyway, we want to ask you, what is the grossest thing someone's done on a date that you've seen? Yes. Like it could be around like... Did they have a nose pick? Did they have a little nose pick and then as they were talking to you, slipped into their mouth

just quietly. Did that thing where you just scratch and then you're were talking to you, you slipped into their mouth just quietly. Did that thing where you just scratch and you're like, oh yeah, that's crazy. Yum, yum, yum, salty. Mmm, salty. My own stuff is salty. It's always salty. It's always salty.

Not that we know. No, no, we've heard. I've heard on the line that it's salty. It was me that told you because I picked mine as an eater. Oh, that's right. Remember, it was me just before the show when I was picking mine as an eater. Yeah, and you're like, yum, you've got to try this. That It's salty. It was me that told you because I picked my nose and ate it. Remember it was me just before the show when I was picking my nose and ate it. I said, man, that is so salty. It's a great little

morning drink. I've got to clear out my nasal canal before we start the show. I regret whenever we do something gross, we regret it and I cannot, Vaughn, I cannot hear your dry reaching today. I can't. I won't. I can't. I'll go. I feel it. I can't. I'll go.

I feel it. So a woman is on a date with a man. It sounds like a brunch. And he eats off the next table when they leave two slices of toast and a sausage. Like leftover food. And she said she just found it really gross. So we've asked you what is the grossest thing you've seen on a date. Okay.

And we regret it, don't we? The top text is feral. We'll get into the text soon. Anonymous has called. Anonymous, what's the grossest thing you saw on a date? Hi, guys. Long-time listener. First couple of words.

Oh, yes, Anonymous. Yes. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, Anonymous. Thank you. I went on a date with this guy to the night market. Always a good date. Yeah.

We decided to get the dumplings. Yes. I love dumplings. Always pan fried or steamed? Pan fried. Yeah, always pan fried. Got to be pan fried. Thank you, yes.

We're eating away and then we're sitting down on our benches and he goes to put one in his mouth and it falls on the ground. Oh. And he picks it up, looks at it for like two seconds and then puts it in his mouth and it falls on the ground. And he picks it up, looks at it for like two seconds and then puts it in his mouth. You've got to blow it. Did he blow it? To blow the bad things off?

No. I would eat a dumpling in my own house on the ground. Two second rule, absolutely. At a night market in a scody car park, that's why you've got to blow it. Blow the stones off.

Did you say anything? No, I didn't. I was just mortified and then I thought, well, that's it. No more dates because if he ever cooks for me, I'll always think of that. You'll never. He's been on the ground in the gravel. He could have a really strong gut health, like good bacteria though. No, off the ground. Someone's peed there. Yeah, gross. Anonymous,

thank you for that. Some messages in. No, don't do it. I can't hear your retching today. I was on a first date and he had a couple of drinks to ease his nerves. And then he smashed a bottle of wine at dinner. Now, no word if that was an accident or...

I think it consumed. You smashed it. I smashed it. Don't you like, drank it. I thought it was like, where's my steak? And then ran to the bathroom before dessert to have a chunny. Oh, don't get that trunk on.

Read the room, you know. Nerves, I reckon. Are we both doing it? That's different. Yeah. Went on a date with a girl who suddenly tried to pick her nose and flick it onto the ground.

No second date was made. That's me, man. That's me. I want to know what you'd prefer she did with it. Not pick her nose, I guess. Wipe it under the seat. Wipe it under the seat? That's gross.

Yeah. All the ground. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DALS at M. The grossest thing you've seen on a date. Worst things you've seen on a date. Grossest things. A guy eats a sausage off the table next door.

You know he's going to make A great dad though Because dads eat their meal And then clean up everybody else's Yeah It's the job They don't want to waste Their kids meals

Not the table next to them It's practising It's family hoover So some messages in Todd on Instagram said I got one beer She came in Got a jug of rum and coke

And smashed the whole thing Before I finished the beer Wait they let you do a jug? I'm having flashbacks to the Eastside Tavern in 2002. A jug of liquor. A jug of rum and coke. It wouldn't be

the normal strength of a rum and coke. Do you know at some bars in South America you can buy a whole bottle of vodka and take it to your table? That would never happen in New Zealand, right? You could do that in Oman in the clubs. You'd literally buy it and take it away. It's bottle of vodka and take it to your table. Like that would never happen in New Zealand, right? Oh yeah, you could do that in Oman in the clubs. You'd literally buy it and take it away. It's bottle service.

They bring it to you, don't they? Isn't that what bottle service is? No, you just buy it at the bar. No, that's the fancy version of it. And then you'll either shot it or you can just have mixer as well. Like that's insane. That would never happen here.

We're not responsible. And so it shouldn't. Hannah on Instagram said he had to blow a breathalyser to start his car. Oh, yeah. I'm hearing some flags are flapping. You think that flag's a flapping? Prepare to

hoist the mainsail. I had a date once and she dropped the N word on the first date. Jeepers! Creepers! No, gross. Would you just automatically be like, cool, thank you and goodbye, like get me keys, goodbye. 100%. Lauren said a guy back washing into his cup like when he drank, he tried

to shut his mouth but stuff flowed back. He's just learning. He doesn't even know he's doing it. Let him take his sippy cup on the date. She kept him on the teat too long I reckon, that mum. Yeah, yeah. He never learnt to mouth a cup. Visible floaties. My date removed his Invisalign in front of me and placed it between us on the table.

Yeah, I used to have to do that. But don't you have a little container? Yeah. A cute little container? Yeah. You put it in there? But it's always gross to be like, oh my God, this food looks delicious.

It's that noise? Yeah, the click. It's that noise. Yeah. I'm not reading the next one. Why not? You read it and you'll see why I have not read it on the radio station. Which one?

We're not reading that one out. Kimmy's 2511. Oh. I'm not on there. I'm not on. I'm on the text machine. It's on the text machine. It's in the Instagram responses

Hang on Oh for God's sake A booger in their moustache He had a booger in his moustache Someone Gay man here Yeah This is what the person says

Someone Gay man here Had their beard on the floor And their kitty litter next to it No Oh you know I'm sorry Us straights can barely get away with that.

Let alone the homie or sexy wolves. The gays are not getting away with those shenanigans. Just enjoying a slice of gnashy pear. We mentioned yesterday there were no apples in my supermarket. Again,

yesterday there was a shortage. Somebody messaged in. It's a hangover from Cyclone Gabriel. Production down 20-30%. But hopefully soon some apples coming. Some kind of pear that I've

never had before. I've just given you some. It's disgusting, isn't it? It's a Nashi. No, but it's a white one. You know, like, aren't Nashis normally brown? No. Oh, I had a white Nashi yesterday. The thing that annoys me about these when you see them is they're always wrapped in that polystyrene that you get your duty free in.

Oh, yeah, that's, yeah. I don't like that. I don't like an actually wrapped fruit. I feel bad. But that's all fruit in Japan comes in those, like, separated trays. Nothing against Japan. Sounds to me like you've got something against Japan. Because it sounds to me like you're not

willing to drop World War 2. Well, no, you know I love a bento box. Absolutely. And Japanese food's delicious. But this, disgusting. I mean, Japanese listeners thinking that you think that Japanese cuisine is just the bento box. It is. Everything in the box. You know my thoughts on Japan. Huge fan of bento boxes. And those Suzuki's.

Well done. Separated food. I love it. But I'm just saying, this pear is disgusting. I'll never reach for a pear. It's not a good... Really? Nah, I'll never reach for a pear. Never a hard pear. Always a hard apple, never a hard pear. Only if it's in it with a blue cheese and a walnut. A hot combo. And a nice salad too.

Not a bad salad. Classy salad. Speaking of salads, journey to health. Yeah, we're on it. We went hard yesterday as a trio. Yeah, we did. You closed all the rings. I get the notifications

when Hayley's done a workout. It had been a while. No offence. No. It has been a while. I hadn't got the notification. For some reason, we still cannot.

They will not let us link friendship on Apple. It's terrible. Yeah, they don't want us knowing when each other's working out. I closed my rings yesterday, back into cannot. They will not let us link friendship on Apple. It's terrible. Yeah, they don't want us knowing when each other's working out. I closed my rings yesterday, back into it. Yeah, I know. It's great. Yeah, well done.

I closed my rings too. I don't know if we're all just talking about closing our rings, but I closed my rings. I think that's three rings. That's three rings. Three rings of three rings. There's nine rings. Good.

The nine rings. That's great. Great work on everybody. Have you not been to the gym at all over the summer break? I had not been to the gym for ages. I went for a couple of runs. I was doing a lot of outdoor stuff. There was a couple of days where I accidentally shut my rings just doing digging and stuff.

I didn't even wear my watch because I didn't want that hard tan line. Dude, look, check this out. I know, this is why. Yeah, it's bad. That's actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Nah, I'm free of it. Anyway. But yesterday, first day back at the gym, first day back at work, first day back at the gym, new routine, get back into the old habits.

And I walked in and the girls at the gym were like, he's back. Oh, no. I hate that. Yeah. And I was like, hey, everybody. And they're like, there he is. And I went and got changed on the way back out. They were like, what's been happening?

I was just like, I got busy at the end of last year and then I was just like, I don't care over summer. I'm a walrus. Yeah. I'm enjoying my season, you know. I'm enjoying my blubber. Yeah. I got some blubber. I'm trying to get warm out there in this cold Atlantic Ocean. And they said, we almost

sent you the text. The text. The text. You know the gym text? Hey, Vaughn. Haven't seen you in a while. Everything going okay? Anything we can help you with? Can we entice you with a discounted PT session? Oh, don't.

PT session. They've stopped that with me. They've tried. They've tried. I'm just like, it's just not at all in my alley to have someone be like, and now do this, and now do this. Oh, I love it. And now do that.

Yeah. At Les Mills, they don't hassle you at all, but they do send you little congratulatory things when you reach landmark sort of visits. What, like if you climb a mountain? Like your 500th visit or something. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've had that.

Not the 500th. The 10th? Yeah, your 10th visit. something. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've had that. Not the 500th. The 10th? Yeah, your 10th visit. Grats. But you don't get a text. It's too anonymous, too big. Do you know what I mean? Whereas you're part of quite a small gym.

Yeah, and they'll send you the old, Helen's seen you for a while. I'd love to imagine somebody's been in a coma for six months and they get the text from the gym. It's like, hey, we haven get the text from the gym. Yeah. Hey, we haven't seen you for a while. Yeah, yeah. Their family turns off the machine at the wall.

Now's a great time to work on your fitness goals for 2024. Yeah. Hey, hey, Craig, how's 2024 looking for you? Reply, not good. Craig just died. Yeah. Grim. Craig's dead.

After a six-month coma. After a six-month coma in which we removed all of his limbs. I dodged the text. reply, not good, Craig just died. Yeah. Grim. Craig's dead. After a six-month coma in which we removed all of his limbs. I dodged the text. I just went back just in time to not get the text. But now you have to keep on going so that it's so abnormal that you're back. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

I did get through some TV, though, because, you know, I've been falling behind on my TV. Because this is what you watch. That's all I do at the gym. I do like an hour and a bit of cardio and all I do is I watch TV. What did you start watching? I finished, started and finished yesterday

oh not started, I'd watched a couple Echo on Disney Plus. Okay. Right. Is that just somebody yelling into a cavern? The whole thing is just like hey hey hey hey hey. Oh life it up, it's about a deaf girl. Wow. Why would I laugh?

Why would I be laughing at a deaf girl? Canceled for saying we should laugh at deaf people. And she's an amputee, so that's two. That's cancelled. I can't believe you told us to laugh. That's one each. That's one cancellation each. No, you're the one who's cancelled. You're the one who said Laugh It Up.

It's about someone being deaf. Hayley will take the Deaf Society, you take Amputees New Zealand and done. I don't want to. Korea's over. No! But that was a really good watch actually. I can recommend to watch that.

Right. And today I'm getting into the What If, the Marvel series The What If. Okay. If things were different in the Marvel Universe, that's my next. And that's what's going to encourage me to go. It's not looking better.

It's not losing weight. It's not telling. It's literally having some uninterrupted tally time. Hey, whatever works for you. Yeah. Whatever works for you. Why not? I can't even remember who told me this.

I can't even remember. It was in the last week and someone told me this. Why did it even come up? It's all a blur, but it's blown my mind. So fly spray. Yeah. Love it.

Huge fan. Same. Especially now that we've got the doors in our house, we've had them open all summer and then it just means that flies are inside. And when it comes time

to close them up, the house is full of flies. Mums and aunties go crazy about flies. Don't they? Yeah. My mother-in-law does that wall spraying thing.

Oh yeah, your ripcorded outside, don't you? That's what it's called. You spray the outside of your house. No, they did the inside. Oh, you can do the inside as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of doing it because we're very flyy where we are. They drive me nuts. Anyway, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of doing it because we're very fly-y where we are. They drive me nuts. Anyway, so I reach for the fly spray day after day. Go around the house targeting but also giving a general sweep. Nah, dude, general sweep.

I know. It's so – and also, Aaron, I'm so embarrassed. I bought the lemon. Bought the lemony flavour. What? There's a lemon flavour of fly spray? That's true. It's lemon scented.

No one's tasting it. He bought lemon flavoured. The flies are tasting it. Yeah, well, it's for them. It's a little lemony treat. They don't even know what's happening. It does make the house smell like it's been freshly pledged. No, it's too lemony.

That's another thing mums and aunties love. Yeah. Pledge. Pledge. Pledge the wooden surface. So I got this and I've been using it and then someone told me I don't know why maybe I'd sprayed it

and then they just knew this fact they told me I always thought then you you spray the flies yeah and it's the chemicals in the thing and they ingest chemicals as we

would as humans and you die from the chemicals or like me I'll sometimes drown a fly just to really get it really good like white paste it. You know when you spray alcoholice or too much

it goes white paste. Yeah. I'm like, you're not getting out of this fly. You're a monster. I like sucking a fly into a vacuum cleaner and knowing he's going to die in there

and be like stuck in this small little area and be like, yeah man, the teacher's coming to my house. Isn't that hysterical? That's what they say about the Dyson's

cyclonic power. This is how I used to remove the ladder from the Sims pool. You know, I like to see them struggle for a while. You are a psycho! I thought that they ingest the chemicals and die immediately. But what this person told me and what I'm reading now is, one of the chemicals, it's not that they ingest the chemical

and the chemical kills you. The chemical contracts the muscles and paralyzes them and then eventually the paralyzed muscles mean that they can't breathe. But it's not immediate. So when you see a fly, it's like And they're doing break dancing. Den, den, den, den, den, den, den.

That's a lot. Go DJ! Spin that wheel. It's because they're like paralyzed and those are the last muscles that they're using to like try to get out. But after they're still, they're not dead. Oh. They're being like, help. They're just paralyzed alive.

That is horrible to think about. Which is so much more torturous. Yeah. So I was like, should you spray them to stop them buzzing around your house? Then whack them to kill them? Then you've got to clean up, though. Yeah, the guts. But imagine your last moments just being paralyzed like,

damn it, I ate so much more I wanted to do in life. And not only that, you smell like lemon. Big lemon. And you've got a big lemony froth all about you. Who wants that? What a terrible way to go. Sounds like a way to go to me. Sounds like a good way out. That's horrible. Someone messaged in saying, do vegans use fly spray? I a terrible way to go. Sounds like a way to go to me. Sounds like a good way out.

That's horrible. Someone messaged in saying, do vegans use fly spray? I don't think they do. Oh, yeah. Maybe they just swat, but then that's still killing. They wouldn't swat. They wouldn't use fly spray. They wouldn't swat.

They just sit there with the flies around. They usher them gently out the door. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that blew my mind. They go, come on. Come on. Why don't you go outside? There's lots of bees out there. Come on, fly. Yeah. Anyway, that blew my mind. I go, come on. Come on. Why don't you come outside?

There's lots of bees out there. Come on, fly. Please. Come on. Please get out of my house. Come on now. I'm trying to cook my tofu. Yeah.

And then the fly's like, ah, was that, ooh, was that tofu? I'm out of here. Usually I spew up on something and eat it, but I'm just spewing it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. It is time right now. Get on. That is a joke.

Fact of the Day where we tell you how bands got their names. Today, Imagine Dragons. Imagine Dragons! Or are you talking to the dragons and you're going, hey, imagine dragons. Yeah. Or imagine dragons.

Yeah. I don't know. I would like to ask imagine dragons. Or is it I'm a jine dragon? I'm a jine. I-E dragon. I'm a jine dragon. Well, that's actually very interesting you say that.

Oh. Hayley Jane, Patricia Arquetteley Jane Patricia Arquette Sproul. Arquette Sproul. Because their name, Imagine Dragons, is an anagram for a phrase that only is known to members of the group, which lead singer Dan Reynolds has stated every member approved of. So Imagine Dragons is an anagram of a phrase. Just the Imagine bit or Dragons as well?

Imagine and Dragons. Oh, my God. Here's the problem with that. Anagram being all the letters mixed up. Spell something else. Yes. Now, here's the problem. I went to Inge's or Ein's anagram creator.

Yep. Endless possibilities. Okay, what are some of the options? Gained organism. Okay. Orgasm. What about orgasm? Orgasm is possible if organism's in there.

Isidore manging. Imagined organs. No, there's no S in Imagine Dragon. Imagine Dragons. There's more than one dragon. Yeah. Madeira Noggins. But is there any kind of sense?

Made Organising. But here's the problem. There's over 10,000 options. We'll read them all. We've got time. Whee! Idina. Idina Menzel.

You can almost have Idina Menzel. Or can you have Adele Daze L. Does it order them by actual words? No. Most of these it orders them purely by alphabetical order. Have fans worked this out? They've got some fans?

Did you Google that? Why don't you Google it right now? Imagine Dragon names. Yeah, what anagram? Anagram. But it's only known to the band. Like, they've never said in any interviews. Yeah.

Ragged Insomnia. Someone says it out of doubt. The original name is Ragged Insomnia. It's a perfect anagram and it's displayed on a sign at 0.34 seconds in a music video of theirs. Ragged Insomnia.34 seconds in a music video of theirs. Ragged Insomnia. Somebody went in. On the subreddit, r slash Imagine Dragons. I'm just going to go out and say that's a better name for the band.

Ragged Insomnia is pretty cool. Imagine Dragons makes me think of like Brave, you know, the animated series. Yeah, fantasy sort of stuff. Ragged Insomnia doesn't suit their music. No, it's more of like a death metal band. Yeah, fantasy sort of stuff. Yeah. Ragged Insomnia doesn't suit their music. No, it's more of like a death metal band name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're more of a... So do you think they went, we like that name, let's use it.

And then they put it into an anagram, Ragged Insomnia. Or maybe one of them at some stage when they're working on the music set, we've all got Ragged Insomnia. Yeah. And then they chucked it in and it came up with Imagine Dragons. Yeah. So Dan Reynolds, lead singer of Imagine Dragons, could tell us if we ever interview him.

We could cheekily ask. Another side fact, ragged insomnia is the studio they record in. Oh, it's definitely this. Oh, it's ragged insomnia. It's ragged insomnia. Answered. Which we would have saved a lot of time if we would have done some research. It's Reagan and Sommier. That's Reagan and Sommier. Answered. Which we would have saved a lot of time if we would have done some research and answered. It's crazy.

I've got this website I'm going to send you. It's called Google. It's amazing. It's going to blow your mind. I Googled to find an anagram maker and then put Imagine Dragons into an anagram maker and they said, we've stopped at 10,000 possibilities. And I was like, that's interesting enough. It was a journey.

It certainly was a journey there to get there. Yeah. And here we are. Yeah. But now we know. Now we know. Now we know. Now we know. The more you know.

On Fact of the Day Band Week, Band Name Week, is that Imagine Dragons is an anagram for ragged insomnia. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Yeah. It's the return of the impossible phone-in topic. A topic that we think is so impossible, we will be struggling to get calls. Yeah. Okay, so this story is,

I don't even know, where is this place? I think it's... Farid... It's in India, isn't it? I think it's in India. I'm going to pronounce that terribly. But this happened in India, isn't it? I think it's in India. I'm going to pronounce that terribly. But this happened in India. And it was an examination for a medical university.

Okay. So like quite intense. And a man dressed up as a friend's daughter to sit the exam. Yeah. And the man who did it was a doctor. Right. Making sense? Yes.

So he'd gone in with red lipstick, a shawl, a wig, a beanie, and a bindi. And had gone in to sit the exam. Right. He got away with it at first. Okay. Like, here you go. Now I can't get to the bottom of if there's some kind of, they have to bring a card?

Like an identification thing? No, this van pulled up four teenagers in a great day and got out. Ran some light investigation and then ripped off the wig, the shawl, the bindi to reveal who he truly was underneath. Honestly, he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling kids. No, it was some kind of identification mix-up

that afterwards they were like, that doesn't align. Maybe they take a photo of your identification and they looked and they were like, that's not it. Revealing that it was not this young woman sitting her medical exams. It was a man in a wig and a bindi. So why did he do it for? It doesn't say.

I guess just to help out a friend or whatnot. They're investigating it now. Probably doesn't need the money. I know. Huh. I know now this is like open up a whole can of worms with how their examination system works over there. Anyway, it has ignited in us

an impossible phoner. Have you ever pretended to be someone else? Now, so you don't need to have donned... To what level? You don't need to have donned a disguise, right? I mean, if you donned a disguise, even better. Even better.

But people do this all the time when they get airfares off their friend or like... I won't accept that because we've done all that. Because you don't get ID'd to abort a domestic flight. I've done this all the time. Oh, God, I've got this flight to Wellington.

Does anyone need it? Yeah. I'll be like, enjoy the Kauru lounge. Yeah. Tell them radio's going well. Yeah, if they ask. Yeah, yeah. Sure.

Tell them, have you been paying attention? It's been cancelled if they ask. Yeah. All that kind of stuff. Only if they ask. Don't bring it up unless they ask. Oh, yeah, I know. Enjoy the eggs.

Yeah, because that's normal. But if maybe you are, I mean, I know. Enjoy the eggs. Yeah, because that's normal. But if maybe you, I mean I've always dreamed of being a twin, right? And sitting in exam for a twin or like pulling the wool over someone's eyes. However you've done it, have you pretended to be someone else? Maybe to use their perks.

Use their perks. Get in somewhere. Do something naughty. Not sexual, but like break the law or something. Maybe sexual. Or could be sexual. Don't break the law or something. Maybe sexual. Or could be sexual. Don't cut out the sexual stuff. No, no, no. I'm not good with sexual stuff. You went straight there, did you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right, well, let's take some calls. 0800-DARLS-AT-EM is our number. Call now. You can text 9696. Impossible phone. Did you pretend to be someone else?

And why? Like, what was the reason? What was the reason behind it? Did it work or did you get caught? Like, has someone sat a test for somebody? Have you pretended to be someone else? Because there's a doctor in India sat a medical exam for a girl

and got caught. Wearing, like, wig, lipstick. Yeah, like a sari, a bindi and was like, oh, this exam is so hard. They were like, excuse me, sir, a bindi, and was like, oh, this exam is so hard. They were like, excuse me, sir, get out of here. So we want to know if you've pretended to be somebody else and why. Anonymous.

A lot of these calls are anonymous. Yes. Which means... Naughty things. Anonymous. What did you do? I have used a friend of mine's ski life pass for the last five years. Last five

years? Wait, a life pass? So that's like a season pass, but for the whole of your lifetime? Yeah. How'd they even get that? A lot of money. Oh yeah, rich, rich. God, it's good having rich friends. So they must have a photo on it though. Do you look like the person?

Yeah, but once you've got a jacket on like zipped all the way up and your goggles on, they can't really tell anyway. Yeah, that's a problem at ski fields. You don't know if they're hot or not, eh, people? Yeah, I know. You just have to take a shot. You just gotta shoot your shot

and see what happens. Wow, okay, anonymous. Thank you so much. That's naughty anonymous. You're naughty anonymous. Another anonymous caller. Anonymous, what? When have you pretended to be somebody else? During lockdown, my partner, he was able to still work as an agricultural contractor and he claimed the wage subsidy for his staff,

but he was away for no reception and he doesn't even like use this, doesn't even know his own IRD number. So he was like, oh, can you just sort it? I tried to ring up myself and they're like, you're not an authority on his account. So I was like, oh, you know what I'm going to do with his permission? Obviously, I just rang up, put a slightly deeper voice on.

Who do you impersonate him? Oh my God. To in-lend revenue. Can you give us the male voice that you used? Okay, I'll go. I'll be on the other end. You'll go. You've been on hold for four hours. Call me loyal. Oh my god.

Call me loyal too. Don't stray. To your Inland Revenue. This is Hayley. Hi there. Hi man. Dude, no. You're going straight to jail. That was terrible. I'm Hayley's manager. You're going straight to jail. That was terrible. Hi, I'm Hayley's manager.

You're going straight to jail. Hi, man. How are you? It was a hard slog. I definitely remember she pushed in. She's like, okay, like, out and asked, like, every security person under the sun. Obviously, I knew all the answers. I could do it.

I could do it for Aaron. I know. In 2023, or whenever you call it, 2022 even if working at the IRD and someone rings up and they've got a slightly higher voice and you say you're not a man oh

gotcha cancelled gotcha gotcha you're gone no you're right you wouldn't and also

I'm the same I could answer all of Aaron's security questions exactly and my other thing was I feel like it was just at the point

where she probably hated her life answering the phone it was a lot yeah dude it would have been the point where she probably hated her last answer in the phone. It was a lot. Yeah, dude. It would have been a lot for the IRD over that time because everyone would have been ringing with her. Oh, that's so great.

I just wanted to claim some money for my employees. That's good. Anonymous, thank you. Keep your calls coming in. 0800 DARS.M. You can text her as well. 9696. When have you pretended to be someone else?

We'll get to those next. Some juicy stories coming through. We've got naughty listeners. Naughty listeners. Yes. Best text next. The impossible phone-in topic. When have you pretended to be someone else?

A man sat an exam dressed as a woman. That text that I said was good. We've got them on the phone. We're going to talk to them in a minute. Oh, my gosh. And here are some other we're going to talk to them in a minute. Oh my gosh. And here are some other texts about when you pretend to be somebody else. I had someone I was interviewing for a job

get to the point where we would call their reference. Oh, yep. Oh, yes. Oh. They were, so, this person who texted in was going for the job. They got to the part where they were going to call the old boss. Yep.

And I just had listed a friend's number. Of course. Everyone does that, right? Position, name of where I used to work and the old boss, but I wouldn't have got a glowing review, so I put my friend's name. Yeah. They put me on hold, but I could hear the conversation,

but not be part of the conversation as they called my old boss. No, no, no, no, no. That's horrible. So they're calling your old boss, quote, your friend. Yes. Going, hi. Now, we're just going to put you there. You're not going to be able to involve,

but you will be able to hear what they have to say about you. So we're just going to call this reference. Wait there, click, and then you just be like, oh, God. So they ring. Their friend answers. Yeah. Does not change their voice at all and sounds like an 18 year old doesn't at all

stutters and kind of doesn't know how to answer any of the questions oh god oh no yeah you've got to choose a friend

that's a good actor for that and then as soon as they were like thanks and hung up from that they came back to the call and they said thank you very much for applying for the job

and hung up on them within two seconds of getting back to them failed that failed I pretend to be an off duty police officer outside my house very much for applying for the job and hung up on them within two seconds of getting back to them. Failed. That failed. I pretended to be an off-duty police officer outside my house. These bloody youth were speeding and doing

skids. I stopped them and I said, don't do that. There's kids around and he said, what are you going to do about it? And I said, I'm an off-duty police officer and I want to see your license. They were driving without supervision. I got the licenses, took photos of the license on my phone,

told them to go home and don't do it again. I haven't seen them again. Wow. Okay, that's ridiculous. But that is illegal, impersonating a police officer. Is it?

Yeah. Absolutely. I'm not down on fines there. No, I believe it's a hard yes that's illegal. Yeah. Unless it's in the bedroom. You know what I mean?

I pretend to be somebody else when I made a fake hot Instagram to message my boyfriend. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what she means? About role playing sexually. Yeah. With fluffy cuffs. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean.

Do you know what I mean? I just wanted to make sure you knew what I mean. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. I know what you're right. You know what I meant, not you know what I mean. You know what I mean? Well, I done it're right here. You know what I meant, not you know what I mean. You know what I mean? Well, I done it yesterday.

Well, I seen that and it had to be seen to be beloved. So I made a fake Instagram account to message my boyfriend to see if he would cheat on me. As soon as it got flirty, he asked me to meet up. Done it right away. People will do that like for a service, eh? Like a fee. What do they call it?

Testing or loyalty tests? Testing, testing, testing. Do you want to ring them back? I think he's tried. We've lost them. Because they just messaged again and said, sorry, I had a work call. Oh, okay.

You try and get them back. Try and get them back. Keep going. Keep going, Vaughn. I think they probably hung up because they were laughing when I said, do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean?

And they were loving that so much. I don't up because they were laughing when I said, do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? I know what I mean. And they were loving that so much. I don't know if they were. Somebody else said, I got mistaken for a dude back in the park and bar days. I don't know what that is. No, neither. A didgeridoo away. What? Someone's on the turds today.

I think they wrote, I did not get away with it, but autocorrect changed it to, I didgeridooed away with it. I love that. I love that more. I think I like that. You know, I used to do this naughty thing, and I tell you what, I didgeridooed away with it. I'll tell you what, don't didgeridoo as I do,

didgeridone as I say. I love that. I don't know. No, no, we can't get that. Okay, we didn't get that. You have to read it out. Okay. I will read their text verbatim.

Okay. My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant, and I stayed outside to take a quick call. She went in, and after a few minutes, I went in too. I went, and I was looking around for her, and the server came up to me and handed me an Uber Eats delivery bag. So I took the Uber Eats delivery bag and I walked back outside and I texted my girlfriend saying, don't worry about ordering.

We've just been given free food. And we took away with it. Yes, I am Indian. Oh, no. So a guy walks into an Indian place and he's like, where is she? Where is she? And they're like, Uber Eats. And he's like, you bastards.

Yes, I will. Are you going to be racist? I'll take that. You profile me. I will take this butter chicken. Bet it's mild, but I'll eat it anyway. It's going to be mild. White people ordering boring shit.

Another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag. Are they back? No, no, still banned. Okay. They never left. That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you still banned. Okay. They never left. Well, that's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that.

Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell all of your friends. God, I need some sleep. Yeah.