ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 16th October 2024

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Polyphobic Invites   Bars putting stickers over your phones We all need couch friends Top 6 Pen and Paper cheating Am I dating the same guy pages shut down SLP - Did you peak in high school? Hayley's dinner hack Has your partner already pissed you off this week? Vaughan's Dad's Shoutouts Fletch's partial refund chat How to unlock your partner's phone Fact of the Day What was your parents go-to punishment from your childhood?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six.

This comet. Yeah. Are you going to, look, this sounds like a bit of you. This does sound like a bit of me. Are you going to... Look, this sounds like a bit of you. This does sound like a bit of me. Are you going to go find the comet? Clear evening on the West Coast beach. That could be done. Do you need binoculars?

Or bar-noculars? I go mono. You go monocular. I go homonocular. Do you go homonocular? Okay. Yeah. You're fully into the nocular.

I'm just one-on-one nocular. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go polynocular. Oh, you're polynocular. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go polynocular. Oh, you polynocular? Yeah. Okay.

Wow. More holes than my eyes can peep through. Yeah, exactly. All of them. And you don't even mind which one? No. No? No, that's panocular.

Oh, that is panocular. Yeah. I do apologise. That's right. Maybe just the iPhone Zoom will be enough. I tried to take a photo of the moon this morning. What a big yellow moon. No, we're not.

Big moon. I know, but iPhones take such bad photos of the moon. It's so far away, isn't it? What are you trying to take a photo of the moon through the trees? Yeah, I know. Well, the sky was sort of quite cold. Oh, it's spooky. Yeah, it was spooky.

Spooky. It is a spooky season. Is that why everyone's having a bad sleep and feeling a bit tired this morning? I actually took a sleeping pill last night. Oh, sorry. That's why I feel a little bit still a bit groggy. Oh yeah, a little bit.

I just needed a deep sleep. Right. Coming up on the show, the top six. No more cheating. To eliminate AI cheating, which some phenomenal amount of students are using. Oh, and I don't blame them. Yeah, dude, it's the right rules.

It's really easy. It's easier when you get into the future and you don't know anything. Just keep using AI. Yeah, right. Just keep using AI. Well, it's like calculators. It's like me and maths.

Oh, yeah, that was great. I've been fine with a calculator. They always poo-pooed the calculator, didn't they? And now we're all carrying around one in our pocket the entire time. That's right. You won't have a calculator then. Well, guess what?

Yeah. I do. Well, I've got the top six ways when they, you know, make us go back to, well, not us, I'm not going back to school. Absolutely. F that. Yeah. I get that.

But if you're a student, they might be making you go back to pen and paper. Yeah. So if you're a relatively, you know, if you're at university now, you probably don't remember a time without computers. Yeah. So if you're a relatively, you know, if you're at university now, you probably don't remember a time without computers. Yeah.

And doing assignments the old fashioned way. Pen and paper. One of the 26 ways we used to cheat. Oh yeah. I'm going to impart some wisdom on you

on how we used to cheat back in the day. Okay. That's good. Coming up in the top six. Next on the show. If you've been invited to a wedding

or an event of sorts, you'll be lucky six. Next on the show. If you've been invited to a wedding or an event of sorts, you'll be lucky if you see on the invite, plus one. But one woman has started a debate online. She doesn't think that that's very fair. Oh, okay. It's a bit phobic. Play Zed-Ems, Flashborn and Hayley.

I don't know if I've ever really, have I hosted an event that had invites other than like come to my show? I don't think I have. No really Have I hosted an event that had invites Other than like come to my show I don't think I have No you haven't had a wedding yet No No But when you've had a wedding

You did some plus ones Yes I mean You didn't know plus ones Well couples There would have been couples Yeah but we had to know both the couples Yeah Yeah but that's not plus one

Nobody plus ones to a wedding Absolutely not When you say I'm not your plus I'm not just willy nillying plus ones. No. But it's like an old school thing, right? As if you invite someone that you're really close with

and you can bring a plus one. You can bring a date. They'll feel obligated to find someone and then you've got these people in your wedding photos. Nah. Yeah, no. It is weird.

Even enough now looking at my wedding photos and being like, wouldn't invite them, them, them, them, them. Yeah. It seems to be one common problem there. Is it me? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You've sort of become a bit of an island, but that's all right. Well, someone tweeted, do we say X'd or do we say tweeted? I don't know. I'm still saying tweeted, X'd, sure. Elon Musk, by the way, has just gone absolutely off the rails. He's such a dick, eh? He's such a dick. He's such a dick, eh? He's such a dick. He's such a dick.

Like, there's internet from space and there's Teslas and he just caught a rocket the other day. Oh my God, that was amazing. But he's such a dick. He didn't catch a rocket. He pays the people who caught the rocket. Yeah. It was pretty cool to watch the rocket, like, plummet towards Earth

and then be like, nah. And remember when he sent a Tesla into space? Yeah, I know. He's such a dick though. And he sends celebrities into space and he's doing all this research. Such a dick. He gives Vaughn his Wi-Fi. What a dick. Anyway, I'm talking about Twitter because I don't know what you say when you say someone tweeted. I'm just going to say someone

tweeted. Someone tweeted. Yeah. We need to talk about the fact that giving people a plus one for events is low-key polyphobic, meaning phobic towards those in open or polyamorous relationships. I thought you were going to say she doesn't like it because she's single and proud, and these plus ones are making her feel like she's not complete.

She's not enough on her own. Exactly. But she's saying, I've got multiple partners, I don't want to bring them all. She wants a plus three. Hey, guess what, bitch? Uninvited. Crazy, eh?

That's... Surely you would realise that you're in a unique situation. People aren't even allowed to bring their kids. Yeah. People have weddings and they don't invite

their nieces and nephews because they don't want it to be a kid thing. Why are they going to chuck old Sue who's got multiple partners, multiple invites? I know. I think you should have to pick one.

Also, if you had a wedding and she was like your best friend, this woman, how many partners does she have? Let's say she's got two boyfriends. Two. If she was your best friend, you would invite everybody. I know. It wouldn't be an issue. The plus one thing. Or even like we get invited to movies a lot, right?

Yeah. And they always say like, plus one. You can bring a plus one. Yeah. just choose one and be like to one boyfriend okay you're it for this one yeah do you like next one yeah do you like marvel movies one's like nah the other one's like yeah and you're like well then you're coming to the marvel movie i'll take you to i'll take you this week then yeah everyone on like was uh replying to it being like oh my god. If I invite a polyamorous person to my wedding and they bring out the hex apple

then I will give catering the night off and have all of those MFs make 150 servings of penne with a creamy lemon chicken sauce to help feed everyone. It's just a money thing isn't it? I mean I would never, if I got married and I was inviting people that were single or just dating,

I would never say bring a plus one. No, no, not for a wedding. No, it's very old school. Even a party, even a house party, it's like a gamble. I mean, I would trust all of my friends. Yeah, but even then when they say, oh, do you mind if I bring a plus one? You're a little bit like, might bring down the vibe. Maybe not.

What if their old friend from high school's in town that weekend? You can't trust people that they were friends with back in the day. And then you've got your friend group and everyone gets along. And then even when people ask. Is it right if I bring my friend? Bull. Is it? It's like, why?

Are we not enough? Can they not stay at home and entertain themselves? You go with them for the weekend then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm just trying to think the last time I went out to the clubs. That was a couple of weekends ago and that's why I got this flow. Is that what you're blaming your flow on?

The middle club. The middle club. Yeah. Vaughn? Last December for producer Jared's birthday, we went to Danny Doolin's. Does that count? That's Da Pub.

Is that Da Pub? It felt like Da Club. Actually, Danny Doolin's in town, eh? Yeah, it goes from Da Pub to Da Club. The pub becomes a club. You were out quite late. Dude, so late. Like for you.

So late. Very late. That brings a tear to my eye. With pride, actually. Yeah. And that strong, armed woman grabbed Matukus. That's right. And I was like, still got it. Still got it. Well, there's been a trend

in a lot of overseas clubs where when you go into the club, they put a sticker over your phone camera. I also thought you were going to say nipples. And I was like, well, yeah, free the nipple. Free the nipple. Long way to go. But this has been happening in clubs in Sydney, all over the world.

Ibiza, Berlin, New York, London. These are some of the hottest clubs in the world. In the world. The hottest nightclub spots in the world. And the idea is that they want to get people off their phones to avoid people taking flash photos as well. You know there's always someone at a concert that leaves a flash on.

Like, all you're doing is lighting up the people in front of you. I know. We don't want to be seen at this moment. But if it's a sticker, right, you just peel it off. Yeah, it's not. From what I've seen in this article, the stickers aren't, like, anything fancy. It's not like some festivals where they put them in a lock bag. It's not a lock bag,

but yeah, it's just a sticker. But I guess if they saw you with your phone out and you didn't have the sticker on it, they might be like, hey, get out. Maybe. Kick you out of the club. But then some of the clubs, it's completely voluntary.

I mean, yeah, I totally get it. The idea of getting off your phone. Like getting off of, just holding it for no reason and filming everything. So you do think about, I was thinking about this with watching concert footage, not to try to sound old, but you know, everyone holds their phone the whole time and you're like, you are sort of missing the point. And then my other thing with concerts is, I was watching some footage from Olivia Rodrigo from Australia over the week.

Yeah, where she fell through the stage. I saw that. And like Billie Eilish and stuff. And Taylor Swift. People sing every single word so loudly that we can't hear the singer. Yeah, I don't like that. Didn't I pay $200 to see

that person sing? Yeah, not you screaming. Although we've all been that person sing? Yeah, not you screaming. Although we've all been that person that has been singing. Oh my gosh. Yeah. My Chemical Romance, we screamed. Sing along, by all means. Sing along, but don't ruin it for everybody else. But at muted volume.

Yeah. But yeah, the phone thing, I totally get that it's like, okay, take your little video. You're probably going to watch it like once. And then look up. Look up. Just look up. As you yelled upon the inslore when we were in Queenstown

and you were looking out the front. No, no, no. We were on the cocktail boat. On the boat, yeah. In Queenstown. And it was a beautiful sunset. Everybody was on their phone, weren't they? Everybody was on their phone.

And you came up from the bar up to the top deck and you started yelling at all the patrons, look up everyone! And you know what? And the sun, because the sun was, you saw the sun rise. Exactly, and we were enjoying the sunset. It was beautiful, wasn't it? Yeah. You gotta look up. And your friend had your phone at the time, so you were just jealous that you weren't on your phone.

It was pretty much the couple equivalent of when you put your phone down first and say to your partner, you're always on your phone. The only reason I was looking up is because I didn't have my phone. of when you put your phone down first and say to your partner, you're always on your phone. The only reason I was looking up is because I didn't have my phone. You didn't have your phone. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Apparently we all need a couch friend.

And I was like, what's a couch friend? But now I see this, I'm like, oh, yeah. It's a friend that you don't, like, in order to hang out, you don't need to have anything to do. You don't have to have a plan or an activity or then we're going to do this or we're going to have dinner or we're going to have drinks or we're going to go out, we're going to do, go to the movies. It's just, we're just going to hang out. You can just sit on the couch if you want. Right.

There's no need to do anything. Yeah, no need to do anything. And they're not the kind of person that's high maintenance, needs to be entertained. Require very little social battery to be around. You don't even need to be having a conversation. You can literally just sit on the couch and watch TV. I love catching up with friends where you can sit there and sometimes 20 minutes, no talking, fantastic.

Well, that's not any of us, is it? You and I can do it. Yeah. She can. I have required a little. I do require a little bit more stimulation. But every now and then I'll have a little bit of a couch time, but mostly with my best friend if you're just like,

just go over. Like there's nothing to do. There's no purpose to being here. When you're hungover. No, not just hungover, but 100% hungover. Yeah, yeah. But you could just sit. You could even just be on your phones and the TV's going

and you're like, sweet. Yeah, we had friends stay last news, Johnny and Amanda, and one day we just watched two movies in a row and hardly, like, we just lounged. It was fantastic. It is fun. And afterwards you talk about the movie and then chuckle on another movie

and it's just like, this is good stuff. And your brain's quiet. Yeah, it's good stuff. Low maintenance friendships are the titties. I love them. But also your fun, energetic friends that are like, gimme, gimme, gimme.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a time and a place, but low maintenance. But when they're constantly inviting themselves over to use the spa, it's a bit much. Well, yeah, that's why, I don't know, maybe someone might have slid him at their spa. I think he's lied to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Vaughan's lied to us about the spa being broken.

No, it is broken. And he's using it as an excuse. Because I came over when I invited myself over to steal the bissel and some eggs. By the way, I never knew. Not a lot of flavour to the eggs. Why have you got done eggs? Done eggs? I'm going to talk about actually what I had for dinner last night.

But as part of it, eggs were involved. You've got a cold. You can't taste the delicate flavours of my eggs. I'm going to talk about actually what I had for dinner last night, but as part of it eggs were involved. You've got a cold. You can't taste the delicate flavours of my eggs. I can taste the intricate flavours of my oaty oats at the moment. That's slop. That is prison slop. This is cow slop. But he's lying to us about it working. He's lying to us. I'm not lying. He is lying to us.

He doesn't want us over. Because when I invited myself over to Vaughan's with the guys of Abyssal, but I just needed some social contact. Yeah. And I was talking to Sade. I said, she was,

one, she invited us to something on Friday night that Vaughan doesn't know anything about. And two, I said, oh yeah, I know,

we need to come over and have some wines and sit in the spa. And she was like, oh my God, yes, it'd be so nice. It's still working.

She gave me no indication that the spa was broken. Yeah. She doesn't go outside. She wouldn't know. I'm just saying. It was, we're not working so I turned it off for ages. Yeah. She doesn't go outside. She wouldn't know. I'm just saying. It wasn't working so I turned it off for ages

and I turned it off at the source. If you hate us, just say. And then I turned it back on and it worked for like three days and now it's not working again. I don't know. It's an electrical problem.

If you hate our company, just say. Let's just say I'm in no hurry to get it fixed. I'm in no hurry to get it fixed. It's a magnet for people to come over.

I'll say to Shadow, how do you want to go And sit in the spa Have a wine Have a chat She's like Not tonight And then Hayley's like

I'm going to come over For a wine and a spa She'll be like Okay But when you invite your wife To have a sit in the spa With a wine and a chat Yeah

These are a few Of my favourite things No Yes No Yes If you get you and me But then we get out

No I stay in. Yeah, exactly. And I start doing this. Yeah. More, more, more. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like, home time. Well, I could never go out being a couch friend.

I think we can give this a try. Okay. Try it this weekend. I'll just sit there and I swear to God you will not need anything. I will not desire anything from you. I'll give that 10 minutes. Yep. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hay you. I'll give that 10 minutes. Yep.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top 6. Well, due to AI advancing at a rate of knots, it's getting harder to detect AI submitted, like, essays and stuff.

Yeah. Because people will get AI to do it and then just go through it and make sure it makes sense. That's what I'd do. A little reword. A little bit, a little bit. And submitting it, changing a few words. It's just a nightmare. Yeah. Some phenomenal percentage of students have used AI for an exam or a submission of work that goes towards their final grade.

So universities and schools are thinking about going back to pen and paper. Yeah, that'll teach them. Make it get it out of your brain to your fingers. These kids are going to get that hand cramp. They're going to get that lump, which I still have all these years later on my middle finger from holding the pen.

How do you hold a pen? As a lefty. Yeah, but... Like that. So I push between my thumb and my middle finger from holding the pen. How do you hold a pen? As a lefty. Like that. So I push between my thumb and my third finger and then just put the pointer on top. I've got that lump. And you just have that lump on the inside of the third. Because that's where you always hold the pen.

I don't have the lump on the inside of the third. Well it just pushes. You've got like kind of sausage fingers. Yeah they're all big and lumpy. Leathery. You've got like kind of sausage fingers Yeah they're all big and lumpy Leathery Leathery kind of Like you've got farmer fingers Yeah

That's a much nicer way of saying it than fat sausage fingers I didn't say fat Did you hear me say fat? I didn't hear that word Sausage It was implied Sausages are 70% fat

No sausages can be slender Sausages are 70% fat Your sausages are yuck No you've got to have a high fat content for sausages No 70 was tight I, you've got to have a high fat content for sausages. No, 70% was tight. I think you've got to be rocking around 30%. Oh, fair.

Yeah, yeah, for the sausage filling. So it doesn't like dry out and stuff when you're cooking it. Mmm, yum. What percentage? Aaron ate five sausages last night. Oh, sausages. Yeah, and that seems like a moderate amount of sausages. 25 to 30% fat is what a sausage should contain.

Can I hold the pen to see how I hold it? Yeah, you tip, but you're quite, you're tip heavy. Oh, you're dainty. Very tip heavy. You're right on the tip.

Whereas I'm pushing against... He's not used to holding that much. Why do you go higher up the shaft? Nah, yeah, yeah. You do go higher up the shaft.

He's used to pinching small things. Yeah, I pinch the tip. Do you guys work the shaft? I work the shaft. I'm higher up the shaft and pushing higher up my shaft of the finger. That's so weird. Like, you do hold it quite far down because I let it rest.

Yeah. We let it rest a bit higher on the finger. Where there's that big callus lump from years of writing. Probably why you write like a 10-year-old. Yeah, you do. Okay, well, anyway. Grip it. You know, there's people that used to grip it like that.

Oh, my God. Some people did hold it real kooky, eh, anyway. You know the people that used to grip it like that? Oh, my God. Some people did hold it real kooky, yeah. Today's top six. Bring back the strap, I reckon. Strap it out of them. Yeah, just beat it out. In fact, you're left-handed. We should beat that out of you.

That would have been beaten out of me, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's the devil's work right there. And Maori. God, you beat that out as well. You would have been getting a lot of beatings. Oh, no. Top six ways we used to cheat and we can always go back to with pen and paper. Okay.

Number six on the list, hiding some notes in the toilet the day before and going for heaps of poos. Got the runs. It's important to say at the start of the exam to the teacher or the supervisor, I've got diarrhea. Yeah. Real grumbly tumbling. I really want to sit this exam, but I'm going to be just constantly pooping. Yeah. And then you can go in.

And then do you hide them under the cistern lid? Yeah. In a little glad bag. Good stuff. Or a cistern container but I wouldn't put it would float on the top.

Yeah. Because we all know you can't trust a cistern upside down in water. God no. Unless it's one of the new ones with the leak. One of the new ones

with the seals. Oh yeah. Oh I've got it here. God it's nice. Yeah those are good ones. Is that a Sestema? Yeah, that's a Sestema. Yeah, that's a Sestema.

Okay, that's posh. That's posh, isn't it? That's a tight, tight seal. Oh, it's so lovely. I'd trust this with my life. Tight seal. Because you wouldn't trust an original Sestema with your life. Nah, or a Click Clack.

Or a Click Clack. Or a Click Clack, no way. Tupperware or those new ones. Or like a repurposed Thai takeaway plastic container. No, you would not trust that No, no, no Don't trust that That'll leak juice

All in your work bag That leaks juice On the way home Yeah When it's got actual tie in it When it's the newest Yeah Number five on the list

Of the top six ways We used to cheat And we can always go back to Writing the answers On your upper thigh Oh yeah Okay And then just kind of

I don't think she wanted That admitted on here But that's right Did you? Did you actually do that? Unbelievable. Back, like, not in NCA days, but, like, early math before I got it. But what would you do before I got it?

This is why we're teaching Shannon so much. It's because she didn't properly learn it. Yeah, when you had to do, I can't even remember, you know, when you had to learn, like, algorithms and stuff, and you had to know, know like sin or whatever. Algorithms. Sin, ten cause. Yeah, all of that. I dropped that but pre-dropping, I would

have like just a little hot sheet on my leg. And then if a teacher was caught looking you'd say, stop perving, mister. Yeah, my friend once genuinely was like, don't you dare. Umus, are you a les? That sort of't you dare. Ooh, mercy, you're a les. That sort of thing.

Gay. Gay, look at my legs. Ooh, gay. Yeah. And they'll be like, whoa, leave me out of this. I don't care if you cheat. I can't have that accusation flying around the playground. Number four on the list, speaking of teachers,

number four on the list of the top six ways we used to cheat we can always go back to, hook up with the teacher and get the answers from them mid-exam. No, that's inappropriate. You can't do that anymore. No, you can't do that anymore.

You never really could. No, that's PC madness. Is it? That's PC madness. Oh, but you can't do anything these days.

No, like a student teacher, not like an old yuck one. Okay. Because there's got to be something in it for the man you. Nah, you're still like 16,

17. Yeah. That's very good. Yeah. Oh, okay. Next on your list. Next on your list. Next on your list.

Number three on the list of the top six ways we used to cheat and always go back to. What are you doing? Stop eating sausages. They're delicious though. You have too many sausages. With their 25 to 30% fat content, sausages are delicious. Number three on the list. Hidden ear pieces.

Oh, yeah. This is using a little bit of modern technology. Put your hair on the list. Hidden earpieces. Oh, yeah. This is using a little bit of modern technology. Put your hair down. Yep. Hidden earpiece. Have a friend with Wikipedia or the internet in a van. Just be like leaning on your hand and just be whispering like. Yeah.

God, I wonder what the answer is to. What's the height of the tree? There's a train coming down the rail and it's going at 65 Kilometers an hour They're like shh The teachers are like You've got to whisper it I'm so sorry I'm an audio learner

And then accuse them of Trying to stifle your learning By not accepting your way of learning Some people are visual learners Some people are written learners I'm an audio learner I just say that loud I looked at

I self-diagnosed on the internet Yeah Yeah you've got to You've got to respect that And then the teacher's like hey let me out of this yeah just like they're looking

at the upper thigh or they're hooking up with them whisper whisper whisper number two on the list of the top six ways

we used to cheat we can always go back to if we can't have AI get a friend to set off the fire alarm during the exam take the exam paper out quick research the answers

yes bring it back in complete the exam good Take the exam paper out, quick research the answers. Yes. Go back and complete the exam. Good idea. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six ways we used to cheat and we can always go back to,

looking at the answers at the smartest kid around you. It's a classic. Yeah. That's like old school. It's a classic. 101. Yeah.

Sit near Smarty and be like, okay, C. Yeah. It's C. It's C, yeah. Next one's D. And pass it along the line of your dumb friends.

The problem was I was S because you were always arranged by your last name. So I was S too. I was S. So we were always kind of, yeah, me and you would have been stuck. I would have been like M-N-M-O-P. Yeah, we're close. You were behind me. Yeah.

So you could have been looking. At that dumper. Yeah, no.'re going to be looking at that dumper. Yeah, no. I'll be, yeah, I'll have a look at your dumper. You'd need to look back at my answers, I reckon. Yeah, I'd have a little peek over the shoulder, maybe with a little mirror or something. Yeah, a little mirror.

Yeah, that'd be the way to go. That is today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Okay, we have, these groups are like all over the world, but this is happening in Australia where they're being shut down. One of the groups is called Sis, Is This Your Man? Our one is, are we dating the same guy or something like that?

Where people jump on and they share photos and Tinder screenshots and all sorts of guys that they're dating and they're like, is this your man? And then people go on and be like, like that's my man and then you reveal the fact that your man is out but how often is it someone else's man so much on these really yeah i've i've i'm not part of any of the groups but i've definitely seen lots of like screenshots and articles but they they have them in new zealand car when producer car when you were saying you used to follow one

of these new zealand pages yeah when they first popped up, I was like, yeah, I'll join for the drama. Yeah. But I had to unfollow. It got too messy on the feed. There was too much going on. Also, it just became quite a lot of people being like, not my man, but I've been there and you don't want to go there. Yeah. A lot of slander, a little bit.

Yeah. Okay. Well, did you see any, like, actual, that is my man? There was definitely one post where I was like, oh, my gosh, I think this person, like, has cheated with multiple girls. Oh, wow. Because the comments were just, hey, I've DM'd you. Oh, yeah.

And so I was like, oh, they don't even want to reveal it. Good in a country like New Zealand that's small, right, where the chances are you are going to bump into someone who knows that person. But in Australia, you're like, oh, God, who knows? Yeah. Anyway, so on one of these pages, on one of them, which is called Sis, Are We Dating the Same Guy?

There was a post from the admin saying, ladies, unfortunately, due to the recent changes to Australia's defamation laws, we are pausing all pages. And there was an admin of another one of the Facebook groups who was left with like $25,000 in legal fees after

one of the guys on the page who ended up losing his relationship because everyone was like, yeah, he was like, no, I have not cheated. This is completely false. Oh my God. Sued them, basically. He can't sue Facebook.

He sues the admins of the page. Yeah. That's why people don't know that. If you run a community page, if you're one of the admins and you let shenanigans that, you know, delves into legal stuff, you're responsible. Like, quite often if, like, there's a photo of someone

that they suspect is stealing or has stolen something, you've got to be even careful there. Like, even the police will, like, blur a lot of photos. Yeah. And images until they know for sure that that's who they're after. Because it's falling into a grey area, I think, in Australia. You know, because they're calling it, it could be like revenge posting. Right.

Basically putting up a photo of someone and having everyone like bag them and pile in on them. Well, that is defamation, yeah. It is, yeah. But have they changed their laws to kind of catch up with online? Yeah, I think they're like in the process of changing a bunch of them. And that's why everyone on these admins is kind of getting ahead, being like, hey, we're just going to pause all posts. You just wouldn't risk it. Oh, yeah.

You don't want to be running a page like that. Yeah, no, I know. And I feel like they're not healthy. They're not with good intention. No, they're not. They're not to go like, hey, we just want to help each other out. Yeah.

You're like, oh, no, it's actually quite bad. Yeah, 90% of the people are there to observe the drafts. So there's quite a few court cases now popping up where people are like, yeah, you can't put my picture on here and ruin my life. But then what are you going to, if you sue an admin of a Facebook page, what are you going to get out of them?

They're not going to be able to afford to pay you tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages. No, of course not. No, they're never going to be able to do that. But they will have to get a lawyer, and then they'll have to pay for all of that, which, yeah, in this case, is like $25,000, $30,000 for another person.

Wow. Just trying to lawyer up and be like, yeah. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Fletchbourne and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Today's silly little poll.

You've still got your cough. Today's silly little poll comes to us from a Huffington Post article. Do homecoming queens peak in high school? We asked them. And a quote from the article, I keep my crown in my office and when people ask if I still have it, I'll put it on, especially during homecoming week. Oh, that's sad. That's the saddest thing you've ever heard, right?

That's the saddest thing. Yeah. Maybe you were captain of the first 15. Oh, and if we're talking about my performances, Richard III, which won me the Peter Veer Jones Award for Outstanding Performance at the Sheila Wynne Shakespeare Festival. I hang on to some of those things. And then since then, all your TV shows have been cancelled, you haven't had an acting gig in years.

Yeah, so you would say that was my peak as an actor. Yeah, at high school. Yeah, at high school. They can't take that away from you. Yep, they can't. Good luck to them. I've got the award. Brian from a cold dead hand.

Well, we asked you, did you peak in high school? 17% of people said yes. Wow. 83% said no. Do you think people are thinking of it as achievements or looks? Physicality, yeah. Yeah.

Well, that also shows what they put most of their value in. Yes. Or like having friendships or like, you know, like friend groups or experiences. More confidence. Yeah. That's definitely one thing that gets better with age, is more confidence. Because you like give a shit less. You just give way less shits.

Especially as women. Teenage years are pretty harrowing. Everywhere you turn. Some feedback on the matter. Joe said this is kind of weird, but I feel like I maybe peaked at intermediate. 11 and 12. Wow, really?

Maybe, but you've also got to remember, Joe, you're looking back on that perhaps with nostalgia, rose-tinted nostalgia glasses on. Which people love to do. Yeah. And not worry. Go back to the good old days. Do you really want to?

No. You couldn't pay me to go back to high school. Horrible times. I'd nail it, though. What, if you went back now. I'd nail it though. What if you went back now? I'd nail it. That sounds like a great TV show.

Yeah. That you could be on. Oh my God, yeah. Go back to high school. Go back to high school. Nail it. Yeah. You'd have to spend a while in the makeup chair every morning. Doing what?

Removing my makeup to reveal my young skin. Prosthetics. Prosthetic what? Face. Youth. Prosthetic what? Face. Youth. Prosthetic youth. Just a full latex mask. Prosthetic youth, which funnily enough was my Rockwest band name.

We're prosthetic youth. Ew. Sarah says, no, but my husband did. Oh, you can't say that. You cannot say that. Do you think they're high school sweethearts and she kind of had the first 15 captain? Oh, we're in our 40s now and I feel so sorry for our kids who always hear stories of, you know, when I was at high school

and the poor kids didn't even ask, but that's the age that he harks back to the most. Yeah. No. Okay, so he did then. Fair to say. Oh, that's so sad. Jess said, yes.

Ducks of school, co-captain of two sports teams, school leader and super fat. Now a 30-something-year-old introverted accountant with a body that hurts when you look at it funny. That's just a great summary of aging. Yeah. My bones are cheap. I tell you, take introverted off the list. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

You don't need the people. You don't need the stuff. You do need social interaction. Not much. Very little. You do. Very little. Just some chilling. If you didn't have a job,

you would just be an absolute mess. Why would I be a mess? Because you don't have interaction. You wouldn't have interaction. That's fine though. You wouldn't leave. You wouldn't get any social stimulation. You wouldn't leave your house. I don't want it. You wouldn't have interaction. That's fine, though. You wouldn't leave. You wouldn't get any social stimulation. You wouldn't leave your house.

I don't want it. You do. I get enough. You do. Hanging out with your daughters and being like, hey, what the sigma is not social interaction. That's social interaction. I don't know.

And then rolling their eyes at you and being like, oh, my God, it's not social interaction. Okay, well, that's your opinion. My therapist told me that it was everybody else's that was a problem. Yeah, your therapist did tell you. To be fair, Hayley, Vaughn did clock therapy. I clocked therapy in one. It's crazy.

One thing done. And he was like, it really feels like you're surrounded by idiots. And I was like, you get it, my king. And then that's why I don't like going out because there's idiots everywhere. Who did you see? Because mine's really revealing that I'm often a problem. Sounds like she's milking you for the cash. Connor said, I think I peaked overseas on my OE.

Oh, yeah? Okay, out and about. Worldly Connor. Yep. Peaking over there. Maybe got some hot, like, overseas chicky babes. Yeah, got some chicky babes. Yeah.

Accent doing a lot of the hinky-dinky. Came back and everyone's like, no, that accent's not working for us. It's the same as everyone else's. Yeah, got some chicky babes. Accent doing a lot of the hinky-dinky in their corner. Came back and everyone's like, no, that accent's not working for us. It's the same as everyone else's. Yeah, it's yuck. Yeah. Molly said, I peaked in year six. Oh. Oh.

That's the last year of primary. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, do you reckon she got that end of the year award? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Maybe she's in year achievement wise. Yeah.

John said, I peaked in year, Jesus, another year six. I she's thinking achievement-wise. Yeah. John has said, I peaked in year... Jesus, another year six. I peaked in year six when I was the top student in my elementary school. It's been down 11 years. But I thought everyone was the top student

because you go to your kids' awards and everyone gets an award these days. Lots of awards. Yeah. Yeah, there's lots of awards. But if they were top student... Yeah. That's overall.

Right. Bridget said, physically, I peaked at high school. Mentally, I did not peak at high school. Yeah, that came later. It's good to identify those two different sorts of peaks there. Yeah, that's beautiful. Lee, in year 13, I paid year sevens and Mars bars to join my garden club for pictures for the yearbook to make it look like I had a real garden club going on.

Lee, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. That's really sad. I was expecting a twist on the end and then that was the end of the message. So I don't feel like Lee peaked at high school. Yeah. She had to pay kids in chocolate bars to make it look like they were members of the garden club.

I've got a feeling you're going to peak at the Ryman. Yes. Because you've got the gardening. It's not over yet. No, it's not. It's not over yet. It's not over yet, baby. It's never over until you Ryman. Yes. Because you've got the gardening. It's not over yet. No, it's not. It's not over yet. It's never over until you're dead. Yeah.

Melanie said, I was a misfit. I found myself in my mid-20s, have a PhD, and I travel the world and work pay. So I feel like I definitely didn't peak in high school. Oh, my gosh. Sounds like you're peaking now. I'm peaking now. That's great. That's when you want to peak.

You've got money. You've got a bit of freedom. Yeah. Confidence. I love it. Yeah. PhD and travel the world, work pay. It's great. The sooner you want to pay. You've got money. You've got a bit of freedom. Yeah. Confidence. I love it. Yeah. PhD in travelling the world work pays. Fantastic.

A PhD in travelling the world. I don't know what the PhD's in. Right. But as a result of having the PhD. I'd get a PhD in that. Same. It's a bit of me. God, on my day, if you got a PhD, you just got some antibiotics, didn't you?

Get that thing cleaned up. Well, depending. Some PhDs last longer than others. Oh, do they? Yeah. Yikes. Well, some PhDs last longer than others. Oh do they? Yep. Yikes. Well that's still a little poll. Play ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Hayley. So I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I like to elevate my dinner. Move it, move it? I do like to move it, move it. I like to do a number of things.

Move it, move it's definitely up there. Yeah me too. But I like to elevate my dinner sometimes and yesterday I had no desire to cook meat. I just didn't feel in the mood

to go to the supermarket and find some meat. I think you need to see a doctor. I know, something was off. But I remembered that I had a dozen eggs from Vaughan

from when I went over to his house and Sade graciously gave away 12 eggs. Yep. That's your pocket money. You sell those. That's my pocket money.

I sell them. How old do you want? I just bought you a coffee. Yeah, okay. Even. Almost even. Well, the thing is, you know,

the box got the stamp made so there are overheads. Yeah. I'll bring you back the box. It's in good condition. Yeah, I don't... Okay. Let's talk about this.

When you're done cracking an egg, do you put it's in good condition. Yeah, I don't... Okay. Let's talk about this. When you're done cracking an egg, do you put it back in the tray? Aaron does. What? I know. Yeah, it goes everywhere and ruins the tray. And then you can't get it out. It ruins the tray and then you've got to recycle it.

If there are more eggs left in the tray, he goes the tray and leaves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So cracks it, puts the empty shell in the tray. Put it in the bin. Or in the compost. Let's get him on the phone. Put it in the bin. Or in the compost. Let's get them on the phone. Put it in the bin.

I know. And then whenever you do your last egg and then you've got to put the thing in the recycling bin, there's all this hard and glued eggshells. Anyway, add it to the list. So I was like, do you know what I'm going to do tonight? When's therapy this week? Tomorrow.

Just write that on your handout. I'm going to do tonight? When's therapy this week? Tomorrow. Just write that on your handout. I'm going to start with it tomorrow. Wait, you're paying someone hundreds of dollars an hour to tell them that your partner is gooing the egg tray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like, let's talk about your father. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's talk about the big egg tray.

He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. Yeah, he's good. He's good. He's fine. What? What?

Anyway, so I was like, I'm going to do eggs. I feel like a big omelette. I'm going to make a nice vegetable and cheese omelette. I love an omelette for dinner. Same. I think it's overlooked by a lot of people. I know. And it's so filling.

You always think it's not going to be. And then you're like, whew. If I talked about when I went away to Anchor Island was the first time I can ever remember having a nighttime meal with no meat in it. Oh, yeah. What did you have? Why was there no meat? Like a soup or something.

No, someone made a dahl based. Is it dahl? Lentils. Lentils. Lentils. Oh, okay. Well, that's yum. Yum.

Yeah, it was all right. I love dahl. But when I entered, I was like, that could have done with chicken and bacon in it. Okay. Put a bit of meat through there. Yeah, it is. And I was like, oh, how often do you not have meat? And they're like, all the time. I was like, oh, yeah. Well, because you're on an island and they can it. Okay. Put a bit of meat through there. And I was like, oh, how often do you not have meat? And they're like,

all the time. I was like, well, because you're on an island and they can't keep meat. Yeah, they've got fridges and stuff. I know, but it's just hard. Just think that. So I decided

I was going to have omelette. I was just really hungry again later. You didn't get the protein. There's lots of protein in lentils. Yeah. Did it?

Yeah. Okay. I think it's more of a personal craving than like a macronutrient issue. It might be. Yeah, it might be. Okay. I call my mum. She's like, put them on the phone.

Yeah. You couldn't even slice up some deli ham in there? Yeah. Anyway, so I was like, I'm going to go eggs. I'm going to do eggs. And then I was like, what do I want with the eggs? Do I want the eggs on toast? Do I get a couple of pieces of toast, put it under the omelette?

I was like, nah. And I didn't have any vegetables in the drawer. I was like, what do I want? And I was like, baked beans, man. Or baked beans. Do you know what I did? Yesterday, I got home and I was in my gym gear and I was like, before I have a shower, I was like, I feel like going for a walk. So I hit the walk and I was just finishing an audio

book. And I was like, right, I've got 30 minutes left for my audio book. I've got a 30 minute walk. And then that's it done. Good girl. Thank you. Good girl. Call me a good girl again. Was it a pointy book? The guy in the book also said that. Interesting. No, it was like a dark romance. Not super horny, but I had 30 minutes left

so I was like, perfect. And then I was like, oh my God, what I'll do is I'll walk around my house and then I'll stop at the dairy. I'll get me a couple of cans of beans and I'll carry on my walk. So if you saw me walking around yesterday and I had two cans of baked beans in my hands. You look like one of those 80s mums with walking weights.

I've seen mums fill up milk bottles with water when they go for a walk because it's the additional weight. I looked and I was like, I have 420 grams, that's great. One in each hand. That's why you're bulking. That's why you can see My forearms are absolutely Hooning today

And then I did I took the long way home With my cans of eggplants So wait So here's how you elevate it Oh right So I whisked up my eggs As I mentioned earlier

Not a lot of flavour to the eggs But perhaps Which is wild Because the chickens Have been eating very well Yeah I know Fresh possum In the maggot bucket yesterday

Oh yeah Oh my god I ate those eggs I nearly wore them They You probably still got it When it was still going on The rabbit I ate a possum in the maggot bucket yesterday. Oh, my God. I ate those eggs. I nearly wore them. You probably still got it when it was still going on the rabbit I chucked in a couple of weeks ago. I ate a possum. Yuck.

Two rats, a rabbit, and a fish frame. Wait, so you put it in this bucket with maggots, and the maggots ate the dead possum or rabbit or whatever. So you put a bucket with and drill lots of holes in it. Not too many holes, but enough holes that flies can get in. And then you put roadkill dead animals in it, pests. And what, scraps? Anything else?

Nah, meat. And then the flies go in the holes and lay the eggs. And then the maggots eat. And then the maggots start falling out the holes and the chickens eat the maggots. And it's wonderful protein. And then the chicken lays the cloaca eggs and I eat the cloaca. Yeah. You don't eat the cloaca. You eat the cloaca egg and I eat the cloaca. Yeah. You don't eat the cloaca.

You eat the egg which comes out of the cloaca. It's all a bit yuck, isn't it? I think I'll just stick to like cage eggs actually. Yeah, where they're not getting lovely fresh possum maggots. Yeah. So I got my whisked all my eggs and my vegetables to make the omelette and then I put the

beans in a pot. You've got to add just a teaspoon of curry powder. To bake beans? To bake beans. It's tenuous. It slaps. And then you add cheese on top. A little bit of cheese, like grate a bit of cheese.

Curried beans. What else? If I'm thinking about gourmet, the minute you said curry, I was like, do you know what else could be added to anything? Garlic. What if you fried up some garlic and some onion and then poured the beans in there with the curry powder? Yeah, that'd be nice. Then the curry powder. That'd be really anything. Garlic. What if you fried up some garlic and some onion and then poured the beans in there with the curry powder? Yeah, that'd be nice.

Then the curry powder. That'd be really nice. Do you know what I also thought? Because I've been making tandoori omelettes. When you get tandoori paste, you fry off your onions in the tandoori paste, then you put your egg on top. Oh, yeah.

You could put tandoori paste in the beans. Curried beans, man. It just changes it. It's like smoky. Is this an old family thing? No, my friend Tim did it for us once and he always carries his beans. That's what they say about Tim. Does he carry

favour? He's a bean, you know, Tim. He carries favour with his carried beans. He does. That's good stuff. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Did you hear how Vaughan just said the word especially? Especially. Especially. It's like how he used to say put your foot down on the accelerator.

Excellerator. Excellerator. Oh, give me a break. I'm just drinking my espresso. Okay. So yesterday, yeah, yesterday. Oh, my God. Our house has been a mess.

And not just a mess. It's like dirty. You know, like everything in the house is a mess. You are a pig. We are pigs living in a pigsty. Yeah. And no matter how often we clean it, it just keeps getting dirty because of the dust and the, you know.

But anyway. It's never ending. Never ending, but it has ended. Like all the painting and sanding's finished. Yeah. So we can start cleaning the place. And I just, yesterday got into one of those moods, and you'll know these that women do it,

and we're just having a nice day, and suddenly we go, it's just a mess in here. Just everything is a mess. Now, if you hadn't previously said before that song that you were menstruating, I would have guessed. Because I'm well versed in the, like, something changes in the air. Yeah. And then it goes a bit cold.

Yeah. You know in Harry Potter when the dementors show up and everything starts freezing? Yeah. It's like that. And you're like, and you feel a chill. And then you're like, oh, my God. Run! I know.

And at the moment I can say to my daughters, run. And we're like, get out of it. But soon they're going to be on her team. They're going to turn to you and be like, run from what, Daddy? And I'm going to be like, you too! Every man for himself. And then it's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming. This bitch is a mess.

Hurry up and finish out that outside room. Oh, you do. Yeah, you need to. Yeah, I'm building a moat around it too. Yeah, I was going to say come take Santry at mine

but my cycle's back so, you know, nowhere's safe. Anyway, so I just decided I did that thing where I wasn't sure what I wanted to clean. I just decided to start

cleaning everything and I was like, right, I'm going to start doing this. And then I moved and I was like started sorting clothes. And then I moved and then I was like, this bathroom. Oh, I know that tone. Oh, I'm sorry that we live in a student flat. Wow. Anyway, so I just was like, I'm going to do it.

And I got all the deep cleaning products. Also, can I just pause? And I do run the ga cleaning products. I... Also, can I just pause? And I do run the gauntlet here. Wow. You may remember just before she said we had eggs, she had eggs and baked beans for dinner. Yeah. So that's quite a sort of like contrary

to the fact she said it's like living in a student flat and then she has a student meal. There's this constant contradiction of terms. Hot, cold, hot, cold. Yeah, yeah. Seconds apart. Trying to keep up. Seconds apart. Trying to keep up.

It's Russian roulette flick. It is. It's Russian roulette. So I was like, right, the bathroom needs doing. The tiles were dusty. All the cabinet was messy. All the drawers were a shambles. The shower was dirty.

I stripped naked and I got down on my hands and my knees and I scrubbed that floor with a brush and I was scrubbing the glass. It was spotless. At the end, I even emptied all of the vanity drawers, took out everything. Aaron stuffed my stuff, organised it, threw out empties, organised. I said, here's the refillables, here's this, here's that.

Aaron the other day said that his skin was looking a bit dull. I put skincare in his drawer. It's all sorted right this thing was beautiful I looked at the toilet and I said that's when I screamed It's like we live in a student flat Anyway everything was perfect I leave the Now pristine bathroom

And I go to the kitchen I think I filled up my water bottle and then I was like Now I need to pee I came back and I kid you not There was an empty toilet roll on top of the toilet Like I'm talking I was away for 15 seconds For him to have a pee, I came back and I kid you not, there was an empty toilet roll on top of the toilet. Like, I'm talking I was away for 15 seconds for him to have a pee, use the last of the toilet paper and put the

empty roll on top of the toilet. Is he a dabber on a shaker? Is he what? A dabber on a shaker. Yeah, I'm a shaker. He's a dabber. I had Aaron pegged. No, I didn't, but you know. You wish. I wouldn't dare he's got a bad back

I'm a big boy I had him pinned as a shaker not a dabber he's a dabber he's a dabber you don't want to

respect from one hey from one dabber to another respect you don't want a bit of toilet paper on your tip no I know

he just had a little dab how wet is it it's just a dab it dab. How wet is it? Well, that's what I'm saying. It's just a dab. It's just a dab. If it's a cheap toilet paper, it might. It's not a cheap toilet paper.

And then you're paper mashing your tip. It's sort of art project. It layers with glue and glue and vessel. Green feral. How dare you. Okay. So I just flipped

and I was like, are you serious? I like did that thing when I dragged him. You know like when your dog pees and you shove their nose into it and you go, look what you flipped And I was like, are you serious? I like did that thing when I dragged him You know like when your dog pees and you shove their nose into it And you go, look what you did I did, I came and said, look around Look at this place, it's pristine And off I went

It is weird though that he is a grown man How old is he now? 43 And he leaves a toilet roll on top of it Like, this is your house, put it in the bin There's a bin right there I know, it a bin right there. I know. I know. It's literally right there.

Anyway, I was like, it's Tuesday and I'm already irate. Someone just messaged in, dabbing isn't good. Isn't it? You know, just give it a shake. I'm a dabber. I don't know. I can't change that. I don't care. I'm a woman. We dab.

We always dab. Yeah, women dab, but that's fine because you can't shake anything. Yes, you can. I've done change that. I don't care. I'm a woman. We dab. We always dab. Yeah, women dab, but that's fine because you can't shake anything. Yes, you can. I've done it before. Trip drive. You just do this. Like that. Shakey, shaky trip drive.

I want to know, it's Tuesday yesterday, it's Wednesday morning, 7.40 in the morning. I want to know, has your partner pissed you off already this week? Yeah, what have they done?

What have they done? What have they done? Feel free to have a vent. Just in the last few days yeah oh 800 dials at em is our number text through 9 696 it is wednesday morning has your partner already pissed you off this week join hayley have a vent please all are welcome we want to know if your partner has already pissed you off this week because i cleaned the bathroom, tit to toe, and Aaron left a toilet roll about 10 seconds later on top of the toilet. He's always doing...

You've always moaned about this. Yeah, it is a pet peeve. That and not opening the curtains. Hazel, what has your partner done already this week to annoy you? So, a big one. I literally had pulled all the washing out yesterday, folded it into lovely piles, the kids, hubbies, mine. It was all placed on the bed.

Hazel, sorry, this is clean washing? Yes, clean washing. Okay, yes. Yep, yep, clean washing, lovely big piles. You know, everyone's sorted out, folded, all done. Last night I went to go and help him to bed, so it was all placed, and I just asked him to go and put it away.

As I walked into the bedroom, he had nicely scooped it all up and chucked it on the floor. To be honest, Hazel, you'd already folded it. You might as well have put it away. You've done the hard part. Oh, Hazel. Yeah, sorry. Hey, now. Hey, now. You're a rock star.

Hey, now. You're an asshole. Put your clothes away. Hey now, you're a rock star. No, hey now, you're an asshole. Put your clothes away. I'll kill you. Oh, my God. It's just those little things, you know. Yeah. Love must prevail over these things. I thought you were going to say he put them on the corner chair in the room.

The cup chair. That's why you don't have a chair in the room because that becomes the halfway point to the wardrobe. That chair's supposed to be for fun and instead we're using it just to house clothing. Yeah, Hazel,

thank you. Some messages in. So many people just needed a little vent. Yeah. I pissed my partner off by not getting up for my run this morning

and the alarm woke him up 15 minutes before his own alarm. Oh, yep. Yeah. Okay, that's quite a serious one so we're not going

to touch on that. My partner hasn't pissed me off, but Vaughn has. Leave me out of this. Ever since he said a few weeks ago that he has to put down the window latches so they're straight, now I have to do that too. Every morning I try to resist, but damn you, Vaughn, now I have to put them flat. Thanks to the extra job in the morning.

You always put the window latches flat. You can't have them sticking up. Yeah. Aaron hates that too. Or when they're like on different angles. Oh, you know, he's got to always be the same angles. Always be the same angles. My husband and I got in a fight yesterday morning at 5.30am.

He thinks I'm too loud getting ready for the gym. I got a new job and got super angry following a slow driver. Partner told me to chill out. He's a truckie and his road rage is worse than mine. I only wanted his support, not a lecture. Right, yeah. Yeah. This is the thing about, you've got to know,

pragmatic Johnny, one of my good friends. I'll turn to him for advice. He's like my Yoda. I'll be like, what would you do in this situation? And he's like, you've got to ask them, do they want a solution or do they just want comforting? That's the sort of pragmatic approach that I'm to. Wow, that's amazing.

I've got a fiery Irish belly. I want it sometimes. I know exactly what I should do and I do the opposite. Got quite a few menstruators here. Okay. Alpha ovaries have taken over the airwaves. Yeah.

Also menstruating, so it makes sense that I got upset when my partner this morning showed our absolutely beautiful, cute, gorgeous 20-month-old more affection than he did to me when he left for work. Well, she'll miss him, you kid.

My husband never kissed me hello when I came from work yesterday. You know that moment when you are like I am in this state and they don't say hello immediately, you're like, well, okay, well, it's all over. That's the evening done. Nope. My partner pissed me off. And then he told her, don't carry on like that,

and I burst out crying. Oh, jeez. Menstru that. And I burst out crying. Menstruating. What's your problem is a fun thing to say to a woman who's menstruating when you know she's menstruating. What's your problem? Jeez. Or just even just jeez. If you want a night alone to play PlayStation.

What's your problem? Jeez, what's your problem? My partner pissed me off this week. He decided to die two years ago. How very inconsiderate of him. Yeah, that's actually really rude. Didn't think of me at all. Play ZM's Fleshchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. It's been a while since my dad told someone that he'd get them a shout out on the radio. I have never been here when this has been a thing. Yeah, I was pre-covid. So what is he doing? He started back up again. I think he started back up his radio shout outs business.

He would do this. Is he getting a deal on something? And he says, well, my son's on the radio. He'll give you a shout out. He'll give you, and that'll kind of cover the discount you're giving me. And it's always like a Morrinsville business or like a transport place or it's been. He's aware that companies pay money.

So this is, he's saying, I called him the other day and he's like, cause he took, I inherited my grandfather's motorbike and need some work done and he said, I'll just take it back to where it's always been serviced. They know the bike. Oh yeah. So he's taking it. Phil's motorcycle centre. You don't ride motorbikes. Quad bike.

Oh okay. Farm bike. Alright. We wouldn't let you on a motorbike. No. You don't ride motorbikes. Quad bike. Oh, okay. Farm bike. Farm bike. All right. We wouldn't let you on a motorbike. No, I wouldn't ride a motorbike. You're not a motorbike person. I think you could be. It's just it's too dangerous.

You're a scooter person, but not a motorbike person. He's a whisper boy. Yeah. So he said he took the motorbike in and Sam says to him, I listen to your son on the radio every morning. And Dad said, I'll get your shout out. What a shout out. I think Sam's really, even because Dad said,

it's got to be between 7.30 and 7.50. Oh, wait, so now he's specifying a window. I said, Dad, that's prime time stuff. Yeah. And Dad said, go on. He's going to get me a deal. And my mum's in the background being like, we don't know how good this deal is.

Because my mum is the wheeler and the dealer of the family. Yeah. Or Dad's free and easy. He'll be like, yeah, I'm getting a deal. And someone will be like, like a 2% off or something. Yeah. Or like a free valve cap for the time. Yeah.

And a key ring with the place's number on it. And he'll be like, oh, well, look at this deal I got. I was like, Dad, that's not a good deal. It's a magnet. But my mum's the wheeler dealer. She's like, you've got to get there. You've got to get the deal. You've got to be told the deal before you agree to the deal.

Yeah, for sure. She's a wheeler dealer. And Dad's like, no, no, it'll be all good. So Sam from Phil's Motorcycle Centre in Morrinsville runs the place. Right, okay. He does it all. So now what's's Motorcycle Centre in Morrinsville runs the place. Right, okay. He does it all. Wait, so now what's the deal? What are we getting for this mention?

Yeah, what do we get? I know mum says, or mum was like, don't agree to it till you know the deal. But then dad's like, come on. And he's my dad, so I can't really be like,

I can't stand a dad out. Wait, so this is the shout out? Yeah, this is the entirety of it. Right, okay. It's kind of like a meta shout out about, it's a break about shout outs, but in turn, mentioning the shout out, thus giving the shout out. Right, okay. Kind of like a meta shout out about, it's a break about shout outs, but in turn mentioning the shout out, thus giving the shout out. Yeah, okay.

Do I get to do a shout out? Because this isn't the first time. Remember when he, I don't know how he did it. We might have been talking about something to do with farming, and meal came up, and then I mentioned where dad gets it from, and he was like, got you a shout out. He said to them post, got you a shout out. And mum's like, but you didn't get

anything out of it and some of them were like oh and here's a ton of free feed for the cows he's giving out these deals

he's doing it wrong I said to him there's gotta be a bit of backhand it's like he's an Instagram influencer posting about something but he hasn't

got the product got the product or some freebies yeah or he's like one of those ones that goes on holiday and posts like they're getting it all for free but they're not they're paying for it yeah I know Or some freebies. Yeah. Or he's like one of those ones that goes on holiday and posts like they're getting it

all for free, but they're not. They're paying for it. Yeah. We'll shout out for some freebies. But there's nothing. For free. Oh, for freebies. I was like, I don't know that.

I was just hitting bees and just seeing if it worked. Dad doesn't know a bee guy. Nah. He used to have a bee guy, but doesn't have a bee guy. Well, see if he got a discount. Well, I don't know. Because this could have all been worth it. Yeah.

It better be big. That's all I'll say. Okay. Well, shout out. But I have mums told him he's not allowed to keep doing this. Dad stopped milking. Ian! Dad stopped milking cows,

so he's got a bit more free time on his hands. And that's why I think he's doing all the socialising with people and that's why I think we're seeing the return of Ian's shout outs. Ian's shout outs. I love this. So who are you shouting out? Give it a nice clean shout out. Shout out to Sam from Phil's promised shout outs. I love this. So who are you shouting out? Give it a nice clean shout out. Shout out to Sam from Phil's Motorcycle Center.

And they've got branches elsewhere. Oh, do they? They've got branches. I think they've got a Tiamutu branch. But you don't have Sam and Tiamutu, so I don't know how good it's going to be. Okay. Yeah.

Shout out. Tell your dad to bring it in. I remember the, that was the other one that he did recently, the home kill place. He's like, give a bloody Ross a home kill place. What are we getting from this? We've got no sausages out of this.

No sausages, no mints. I've got so much mints. You poo-pooed home kill mints. Because it's quite strong. You said it's too strong for you. Yeah, it's too strong for me. Why is it strong? I like the plain mints.

So maybe because in the last half hour you've said my eggs are too weak and my mints are too strong. You just can't get it right for me. I can't get a good balance for this fussy B I have. Play ZM's Flesh, One and Hayley. So, okay, this is my partial refund question that we didn't have time to get to on yesterday's show. It was supposed to be the last break of yesterday's show.

We blew over because Taylor Swift did a five minute 30 song. Yep. And we kept yelling at him. Fade her out. No, I wouldn't fade out Taylor. It was Taylor Tuesdays. He wouldn't do it. Here we are today with the question.

So I went to the zoo. By the way, the zoo is so great. I have not been. Auckland Zoo. Auckland Zoo. I hadn't been. We went like to feed a giraffe, but then we left. We didn't go around the whole zoo.

Like maybe that would have been like eight years ago. Hey. Yeah. Yeah. years ago yeah because you were like I'm going to go and do something didn't want to take me to the zoo don't know who's taking me to the zoo now

but he did the whole round did the whole thing wow someone's jealous yeah I love the zoo I feel like when did you always go with your kids

because didn't you get an annual pass when we lived closer yeah we were gifted an annual pass and we didn't send them at the most ever we live a bit further away now though I was just like Didn't you get an annual pass? When we lived closer. Yeah, yeah. Well, we were gifted an annual pass. Oh, nice. And we did send them at the most ever.

We live a bit further away now, though. I was just like, if you were ever having a bad day, I wasn't having a bad day, but if you ever were, go to the zoo. How expensive is it for a local? So it was $24 for a local. And if you're not from Auckland, it's $29. Because it's school holidays. Well, no, not anymore.

No. What? Well, you've got kids. Are they at school or not? Yeah. Oh, they have been missing during the day. I just assumed they were in the coal mines. They were back on Monday.

No, because it was empty. I got them a job in the mines. Oh, God. Oh, lovely. It was empty. Lovely. So my friend and I were just walking around, saw the tigers. There's a tiger cub.

It was like nine months. Are they Tassie Devils? Yes. Did you see them? They're my favourite. They're my absolute favourite. I love them. I want to go.

If I ever got to feed one, I'd probably cry. I kind of would lie to you because they're not cute like the cartoon. Tasmanian Devils? Yeah. No, they are more lovable and more rose. Like a fat rat. Massive, massive fat rat. That goes.

But that took a while because we were looking for it and I wanted to see the Tasmanian Devil And it must have been wandering around behind And then it span out in a tornado And I was like Sounds like the lead singer of Korn I saw the Kiwi In the dark enclosure

And I was like I don't believe you because I've never seen the Kiwi Was it right at the back or up close to the glass? Lots of monkeys. I want to go to the zoo. Was that monkey there that goes, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo? And the baboons with the big pink bottoms? Yeah. That's the monkey you hear because my friend lives in Pointe-Chevre.

Yeah. And you hear it. And you would always hear the monkeys going crazy. Was it a bonobo? I don't know. That howling monkey? The Irish singer. Bono. But from YouTube. Bonobo. Bon Was it a bonobo? I don't know. Howly monkey? The Irish singer. Bono.

But from YouTube. Bonobo. Bonobo. Yeah, because if you listen, clearly he's screaming. It was amazing. It was amazing. I was like a kid. And all the staff were lovely.

Still got the elephant, hey? Yes, and that goes to Adelaide. The lady was telling, because you know they're volunteers. And they love to tell you all about the zoo. What's going on in that corner of the zoo? Does she have any word

on what we're eating? No, I don't know. But I think it's here for a little bit longer. We're getting one from the Arctic. There was a polar bear back in the day at the zoo. We don't talk about it.

I think that's where the seals are now. Did you see the red panda? Yes. It was in a ball. Red panda is my second favourite after the Tasmanian. I had to ask the guy where it was because it was in a ball

right at the top of the tree and it looked real fluffy. I love one of those in a red panda. Okay, so I had a ask the guy where it was because it was in a ball right at the top of the tree and it looked real fluffy. Yeah, I'd love one of those in a rake. Okay, so I had a great time. Did you see the... What are the big rodents from South America that ride alligators? The kowak or kowak?

No. Capybara. Capybara. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to keep asking if you saw it. Did you see the giant tortoise? Yes.

Did you see the parrot? Have you seen giant tortoise's hump? I've seen that giant tortoise hump. And all the air goes. Yeah. This is great. The staff were all great. Everyone was lovely.

Everyone was like talkative and it was great. I'm wondering where this partial refund's coming from. He sounds like he's had a great day. What could possibly be his problem? Here's where I'm asking where this partial refund's coming from. He sounds like he's had a great day. What could possibly be his problem? Here's where I'm asking for a possible slight, small refund because the chaos was shut when we left because it was the end of the day.

I didn't see the porcupine. It was hiding and there was no porcupine and I was really excited because I've never seen a porcupine. I'm wondering if they even have a porcupine. So you think of all the animals they would lie about. It's a drag queen hedgehog. You've seen that before.

Just imagine a hedgehog in drag. Yeah, it's got longer hair on. And the sign did say nocturnal. But I could see where it would normally sleep. And I was looking behind the log. all around I was looking in the mud. There were like footprints and stuff. I was like, did the staff like print those themselves? So you want Auckland Zoo to give you a little bit of money back?

Maybe like 25 cents? Because, oh, that's just inconvenient because there's no five cent coins now. You want them to give you a refund. That porcupine. It was the only one. The one animal that if they removed it from the zoo, I'd be like, I didn't even care.

But I have, have you seen one before? Do you see the civet? What's that? That cat with the long legs. That's the hard one to spot. Do you see the flamingos? Yes.

Do you see the cheetahs? Yeah. Yes. What do you want a refund for? You're worried about seeing the porcupine. I've seen a porcupine in real life. What was it like? I thought we saw one when we were in Australia.

Oh no, that might have been an echidna. Because I was like, that's never been a porcupine. You know, I haven't seen a porcupine. real life. What was it like? I thought we saw one when we were in Australia. Oh, no, that might have been an echidna. Because I was like, that's a porcupine. I haven't seen a porcupine. I would remember that, Vaughn. Oh, my God, look at this dog. This dog attacked a porcupine and all the needles got stuck in its mouth. Look at that. Oh, see, that's what I want to see.

That's a little baby one. Then they get the long thing. Look at the dog. Hang on. Remember that guy who had porcupine quills in his lungs or something. See, that's cool. I want to see a porcupine. You shouldn't snort porcupines.

Yeah, definitely don't snort them. Get them in your lungs. Okay, well, I'll just look at the videos online. They are quite a cool item. I'm sorry for just saying they're a hedgehog. I'm sure there's somewhere on the terms and conditions that you're not guaranteed to see the animals, right? Someone said I went to the zoo the other way.

Oh, the giraffes. The giraffes. Someone said they went to the zoo the other week. Oh, the giraffes. The giraffes. Someone said they went to Auckland Zoo the other week, got to hold one of the porcupine spikes and was able to see one of the porcupines just before he went back to sleep. So he's there. Okay.

So it's actually not on the staff. I'm going to have to go back then. I did get to touch the orangutan here. What? Yeah, the lady had a big strand of orangutan hair. Oh, God, I think I reached in. I was like, you don't put your hand in the hair. Their enclosure's cool, eh, how they climb around and stuff.

It's good stuff. I'll say it again. And if you wait long enough, you almost guarantee to see one playing with itself. Oh, they're always fiddling. The woman on the set back is going, eh. It's actually probably the best argument for evolution.

Evolution. 100%. I do that. Because I'm like, yeah, if I've got nothing to do and it's sunny and I'm outside

and who cares if someone's watching, I'll go, give me five minutes and I'm at it. We're just monkeys, aren't we? Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Can I just extend a thanks to my colleague, Hayley Sproul, who filled up my water bottle for me. I did. I'm a bit of a dumbo though. It took me a while to realise that because mine pops off, his twists off and I was there pulling

it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's just, you know, kudos where kudos is due. Okay, lovely. Thank you to all the people that have been sending me photos of the porcupines at Auckland Zoo to in fact show me that they're actually real and that they do exist. We also

need to book a trip to the Australian Reptile Park just out of Sydney where I've been promised I'd be able to hold a Tasmanian Devil. I wouldn't even mind if it bit me. It bit you. I love them so much. I'll show you some photos during the next song of the Tasmanian Devil. Because you know, we've been kind of

soft pitching. Semi-pitching for a show trip to Tasmania, haven't we? I'll just go anywhere. Oh, it's Tony Street over New York. Come on, Bogsy. We're here. Just sitting here. Anyway, it's fine.

Now, I have prefaced this. I have prefaced it by very explicitly saying that I think this is toxic behaviour. What are you showing him a photo of? Porcupines. The Tasmanian devil. Yeah, that's what I love. How stout little Trudy Stoutman. I want to go to Melbourne Zoo because, you know, koala bears,

not koala bears, koalas are my favourite animals. Yeah. I want to go to Melbourne Zoo. Okay, anyway. Just any zoo. I'm going to go to Melbourne Zoo. Okay, anyway. Just any zoo. I'll go to any zoo. Now, that's refreshed itself, and I didn't want that to happen. One moment, please, caller.

Anyway, this is a toxic, toxic behaviour. If you ever want to have a little snoopity-doopity into your partner's phone, which we do not condone here at FVH. No. Okay, we do not condone it. But you just look for their PIN number, right? You don't know their PIN number. How's the other way you get into an iPhone?

Face ID. Yeah. And then everyone's like, oh, you just hold their phone up to their face while they're sleeping. And you're like, so it doesn't always work. My phone doesn't even work sometimes when I wake up. Like, how insulting is that? Like, my own phone is like. You look so puffy this morning.

I don't even know it's you. Yeah. So, what this person on TikTok has suggested that you do, and we, again, are not condoning this, is I would say, say you're my boyfriend, Fletch. Yeah. Cast everything you know aside, and that in some world,

you and I have fallen in love and we're dating. Good Lord. Okay, well, it's not that outrageous that someone would want to be with me, right? And I would go... They're already arguing like a radio couple. I would just sit here and awkwardly go through it, I guess. Wait for the impending divorce. Should we actually try this?

Let's try this. I'm going to go... Oh, my God, my darling, I love your face so much. I'm going to take a photo of you. Okay. I just want a photo of your face. Okay. And you're getting right in close to take an up close photo okay yeah and now I've got a photo of your face and now you're away from your phone give me your phone you're in

the shower you're in the shower okay and I'm zooming in the picture of your face you took a live photo yeah a live photo And so you press on it. Okay, and I'm going to go swipe up on yours and I'm going to go swipe up for face ID. And then you've got to hold down. You've got to hold the live photo so it's live. Okay, hang on. Swipe up for face ID. Also your thumb's in the

way of my face. Oh, you said hold down. Hang on. So I'm live photoing. Swipe up for face ID. Yeah, I didn't think this would work. I assumed this had been trialed. Yeah, this is what the girl on TikTok said it works. And because it's a live photo, the face is moving. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, well it didn't work. Right, and it unlocks. Yeah, but that might be because I'm a banger. Do you know what this feels like? Do you know what this screams of? Shannon's hacks. This was a Shannon's hacks, but she said she didn't want her magician boyfriend tuning in and hearing that she had this one up her sleeve. Yeah.

Because she said it wouldn't reflect well on her. Shannon, this didn't work. We've seen it on TikTok. We've seen it? We've seen it. I bet you're part of this. We saw it. We saw it.

And this show, we respect the tenses. Yeah. I don't know the tenses. No. I've seen. Sawed. Sawed. Yeah, I sawed it.

Look, someone's doing it on TikTok, though, and it's working. Yeah, it does work. Multiple people have done it on TikTok. I did my research on this one. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it works. I mean, did you just take a bad live photo? Yeah, maybe.

It could be that. Is Fletch the problem? I'm a minger. Yeah, I think me is the problem. But that's just crazy. So you would take a photo of my face and then hold it as a live photo. And then you just, I think like they had one of their phones down on the desk and held it like that and it worked. That's crazy.

That's nuts. And now, please respect the privacy of your partner. It is not your phone to go through. You have no right being in there. I want to know if anybody's ran into problems now with the new update where you can individually face or password apps on the iPhone. So your photos, you can make it Face ID to open. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Any like banking apps and stuff. Yeah, one of my banking apps I think I opened with my face. Yeah. Which I guess is you felt more secure. Yeah, one of my banking apps I think I opened with my face. Yeah. Which I guess is you felt more secure. Yeah, yeah. But this is you can make anything on your phone open with your face. That's good to know. You just hold it down and then you can be like lock.

Really? Yeah. Have I got this? So if I went into my Facebook, hold down, require face ID. Yeah. Far apart. I can't see it. There are some apps I'm going to add to that feature.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fact of the Day. And today's fact about Mount Everest is the top of Mount Everest, the summit, the tippity top, the part that people want to reach so badly, they line up in a sort of an atmospheric condition that is literally trying to kill you. Yeah. The death zone.

The minute you enter it, your body's like, I'm not going to last long up here. Even with oxygen. How long do they wait in that line to get to the top? And do you have a set amount of, like, you've got two minutes to take a photo and to be like, I've got a flag, and then get out of there. Yeah, something in the top and then get back past.

But that's the thing, apparently, now people have, and then get out of there. Plus I'm going to get in the top and then get back past. But that's the thing apparently now. People have died waiting in that queue. Yeah. And also squeezing back past them. You're on a ledge. Yeah. It looks bad name. You've got to squeeze back past people.

You know how bad it is even when you're in a queue and you're like, I've got to get out of this queue, and you're like, excuse me, I'm trying to get back to this queue. And you've got all your big puffy clothes on. Yeah. And an oxygen tank so you don't die and everything. And you've got an ice axe. But clothes on. And oxygen tanks so you don't die and everything. But the top of Mount Everest is grey limestone.

That's the type of stone it is. Nice in a driveway. No, you're thinking of lime chip. I am thinking of lime chip. Yep. Mine's a bit soft. So same as the caves? Limestone caves, yeah.

Which, if you know anything about it, means that once upon a time, that was on the bottom of the ocean floor. Wow. It's also got embedded marine invertebrate fossils in it. So you could be waiting in that line just chipping away at the ice. The line looks awful. And there's a scallop shell. Yeah, yeah, there's

an old trilobite fossil. Yeah. So I googled how long ago was at the sea floor. Was that pushed up in one event? No, no, no. Or in the bajillions of years? I mean, some massive events, yes.

Okay. It was the seafloor 470 million years ago. It was on the seafloor. 74 million years ago. 470. So nearly half a billion years ago, it was on the seafloor. How did it get up that high? The plates pushed it in.

They kept pushing it. It just kept going up and up and up and up and up. It's like when you squeeze a pimple and it gets worse. Not better. I love when you get a stringy pimple. A little snake? It's gross to say, but it is. It is really nice.

It's the best. It's the best pimple. It's the top tier pimple. It's more of a blackhead thing, eh? Yeah, I get a professional to do mine. Brett Casey does them. And every now and then she'll be like, oh, it's a snake. And I'm like, yes.

No, I want to say blackheads, this is also very gross. No, blackheads are usually the best ones because they look like there's nothing. But they don't. They go string string string. Snake like spaghetti. Yeah, they do. They go thick and they go like a little worm's poking its head out from under your skin.

Shannon is suggesting that we do this for final rankings. Types of pimples to squeeze. I know, but the under ones, God, they're demons. You squeeze them

and nothing comes out. You're like, where are you? What about a mirror squirter though? Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. That's up there just for satisfaction.

Far out. It's gross. It's gross. You're a yuck. Yeah, you're a yuck. You're a yuck. Yeah. You're a yuck. You're a yuck. Yeah. What?

Who is? Fletch. All of us. Not me. Somebody said watch 14 Peaks on Netflix if you're loving. I have watched that. That's phenomenal. The dude summits 14, the world's, the highest peaks in Asia,

which are all somewhere in the Himalayas, in one climbing season. Wow. It's mind-blowing. And I follow that dude on Instagram. He's nuts. He's phenomenal. No one like him. So, yeah, that's today's fact of the day about Mount Everest.

It's the tippity-top of Mount Everest. So the highest point above sea level on this beautiful blue and green marble of ours, hurtling through space, was once... With our insignificant lives on it. With our insignificant, short, over and over in the click of a finger's lifespan, where we think we might make a world of difference, but we're

nothing but dust. Oh. But a little bit of difference. I mean, right now we're making a difference to people's days by helping them to laugh out louder with Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley here at ZM. Take us wherever you go on the iHeartRadio app. I mean, I don't really know.

She's facing her own mortality. Now that this piece of dust has took off a couple of KPIs. We're more significant. If capitalism is to be believed. So today's fact of the day is the highest point on earth was once the sea floor. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. A 16-year-old boy had been naughty and... What had he done? What had he done? What had he done? He's seen it. He's seen it. What had he done?

That's correct. He... What did he do? What had he done is fine. What had he done? What had he done? That's what I said. That sounded weird. It did, but it's had he done is fine. What had he done? What had he done? That's what I said. That sounded weird.

It did, but it's not wrong, is it? He hadn't really done much. He hadn't do-dude much. There it is. There it is. He didn't dude much. Wrong at all. The mother enforced a rule in the house that no locked doors.

16-year-old son, not to ever lock your door. Were there people over? Was there a girl over? No, nothing. I think it's important for kids to have privacy. Yeah. You can check on them, but if they shut a door and they lock and you open it and you're like, is it all good? But what if he's

smoking cannabis in there? Yeah, I don't know if that was the issue. Was there a girl or a boy in there? Actually, the door was shut. Like, you're allowed your privacy. The door was locked and there was music playing. And so she was like, I'm going to give it to you. This music is too loud.

Okay. Right? So she goes around the other side to the window of this boy's room where it is revealed that maybe he has popped out just to say greet some friends. Oh. Okay. He snuck out the window. Okay.

So, right. I never snuck out of my house. Why would I do that? One, I lived so far away from town. Yeah. I was a country kid, so it was pointless. Yeah. Where would I go?

And two, I just would never, I just would never, ever. And my parents gave me like a good curfew when I was 16, 17, like midnight. Yeah. When I was going out. I know. At 16. I know. The things I was doing in those times. It's I was going out. I know. At 16. I know. The things I was doing

It's only a few years away for one of your girls. Yeah. I had to be on the midnight bus. The 1205 back to Eastbourne and if I wasn't on that, hell to pay. Yeah.

So I never snuck out because I had to go, good leash, good leash. I just feel like, oh, Metlink cancelled another bus. I'm like, mum, mum. I had to stay in town.

Mum, I was just trying to get to the bus and it didn't turn up. But I'll be on the next one. Of course, that was one drink in moderation. Of course. I thought she was just tired because it's 16 minutes midnight. That was tired for us. No, sorry, in this scenario I'm 16 so I haven't had a drink yet.

Oh, yeah, because you're just tired slurring. I was on the 1205 Because the next bus was 150 And that was late That was late And I caught that Once or twice as a teenager And I'm boy oh boy Yeah

I was in the shit So anyways The rule in the house Is no locked doors Yep She went to say goodnight But music was playing Because he was doing it

As a distraction Went round the other side He is not in there He has snuck out As punishment For him sneaking out of the house. And this is what's gone viral. Yeah, the door was removed.

Not only, like, reinforcing the non-open thing. Yeah. The door was removed. I've heard of some parents doing this, and it was a thing on, like, some TV shows and movies, right? But I never knew of anyone actually doing it. Yeah, no, two weeks, no door. Two weeks, no door. Two weeks, no door.

Two weeks. And as a 16-year-old boy, ooh, that is not good. Did they say something like, a door is a privilege and not a right? That's a classic. Yeah, something like that. Also, I paid for that door.

That's my door, not your door. Yeah, yeah. I'll take it off if I want. Until you pay for the door. Yeah, my house, my rules. I'll do what I want. We want to know, what was the go-to punishment that your parents would enforce when you were a teenager?

What? This one's just come in. I think we'll get the ball rolling with it. Okay. The law changed halfway through my childhood. So mum went from smacking us with a wooden spoon to throwing a cold glass of water in our face as punishment. Didn't matter where we were.

In bed. On the toilet. Should come out of nowhere. Pull a glass of water in the face. Oh my God, that's amazing. That's quite funny, actually. That's still assault, eh? Like, people have been charged for assault for throwing, like, buckets of water over people, right?

Is that a thing? Buckets of blood. Because only those protesters that tip blood on people got done. Maybe if the water hits you from a height. I don't know. The legal definition of assault is very wide. It covers any situation where you intentionally apply force against another person's body.

Right, so you could. No, it's just water. No one's going to really rock mum up for throwing a glass of water in your face. Yeah, no, it can. It says here, even tossing water at someone can be regarded as assault because it's classified as harmful touching. Okay. Crazy.

To each their own. Bro, it's wild. You think I was ever going to charge my brown mum with assault for a glass of water in the face? My brown mum. Yeah, that's fair enough. The fear of God in you. Yeah. that's fair enough. Okay, well. The fear of God in you.

Yeah, 0800DARLS.M is our number. We'd love to hear from you this morning. You can text through 9696. What was your parents' go-to means of punishing you when you were a teenager? Oh, no Wi-Fi would be a big one. It would be big now. We didn't really have Wi-Fi as a teenager. Cutting out the internet, maybe you were grounded.

I wish I got these things. Mine was the god-awful silence of my mother for a couple of weeks. And her disappointment. 0800 DALS at M9696. What was your parents go-to punishment? We would like to know the go-to punishment of choice from your parents when you were a kid, a teenager.

Yeah, a mum's gone viral because she's taken a bedroom door off. Two weeks, no door. Yeah, but... 16-year-old boy. He was sneaking out. Courtney, your dad would take a door off. He would, yep. So what, like, what would the punishment, you know, what did you do to deserve that?

Okay, so he always had a rule that if you slam a door three times, I'll take the door. Beetlejuice. Yeah, pretty much. Right. So I was angry, and I was like, juice. Yeah, pretty much. Right. So I was angry and I was like,

hey, well, I'm not going to slam my bedroom door because I don't want to be without a bedroom door so I'll go and I'll slam the bathroom door for the main bathroom

of the house. She's a thinker. And I slammed it once and he was like, that's one and I'm like, sure is and then slammed it again.

Oh my God. And I was like, yep, that's two and here comes three and I slammed it again. Oh, my God. And I was like, yep, that's two, and here comes three, and I slammed it, and he literally walked up the stairs with tools and took the bathroom door for two weeks. Wait, so you didn't poop with the bathroom door open? Wait, so this wasn't just a, like, you didn't just, like, slam it on multiple occasions. You stood there and slammed it three times in a row.

Yeah. Brat. Brat? No, teenage girl. Yeah. Now, was this just your bathroom and the siblings, or did they have another bathroom? Nope.

Nope. So it was, like, the main bathroom of the house. Wow. He was just showering, like. And I was like, how are we going to go to the bathroom? And he's like, I've seen all y'all's bits. Yeah. I made them.

I don't go upstairs when I'm in there. I was like, oh, my God, I'm mortified. Oh, my God. Did you slam any doors after that, Courtney? Maybe, but didn't hit, like, the three mark. It was like, okay, you're mad. You get one. Amazing.

Yeah, but I definitely didn't slam with, like, the ingression that I did the first time. It was, like, a subtle slam. It worked. Yeah. It's so good. It worked? Yeah. It's so good. Courtney, thank you. Anonymous, what was the unusual punishment that you had to endure?

Warning. When I was younger, I was a bit of a screamer and a little bit, you know, noisy. Yeah. And my mum used to lock me out of the house. And then if we'd go, like, let's say church or something, if I was noisy there as well, she would also lock the front door. You scream in a church?

What are you screaming in a church? Lucky you didn't get nexusism. I wasn't necessarily screaming at church, but I was just playing very loudly with a big imagination. Right. And she was just like, I'm just going to lock you outside. How long would you be locked outside for? Literally put me outside until I'd stopped screaming and banging on the door.

I love that. I love that. I mean, she shouldn't be punishing you because playing loudly with a big imagination is how most churches start. Right? Yeah. She should have been encouraging it. You can come up with your own.

Thank you. Some messages in. My parents tried to take my door off because I'd slammed it, but Dad couldn't get it off. He tried for three hours and it was just like so degrading to the poor guy. What, because the hinges in the pen had rusted or something? Or painted over. Oh, my God.

That would annoy you so much. Right, this door's coming off. I just nailed the door to the wall. Yep, same. Be like, there you go. Now you can't close it. Yeah. We had soap on a rope.

It never got used until we swore, and then it got pushed in our mouth, and then they'd hold our jaw shut and just pull it out by the rope. Oh, that's a classic. I've never known soap on a rope, though. That's great because it was hard to hold a wet bit of soap. Because that was a punishment if you swore

you'd get a soap in the mouth. Because your mouth was filthy. If we were allowed at the dinner table, we were sent outside in the dark to eat with the pigs. We had no pigs. What, they said that there were some roaming... There were roaming pigs. Oh, my God.

You're going to sit outside with wild pigs? Yeah, and just eat quietly so as to not distract the wild pigs. Keep your texts coming in 9696 0800 DALZATM. We'll get to more of those next. You go to punishments when you were a teenager from your parents. Someone took the door off of a 16-year-old boy's room. Not a great age to not have a door. No, and it's a bit of a tactic that parents are using.

Yeah. This would have been like the worst. Game changer. You wouldn't have done it as a teenager. I misbehaved. I was being very naughty one week. It was Mufti Day at school and my mum and dad hid all my cool clothes. Oh, that's so good.

So I had a choice. I wore ugly clothes or uniform to school on Mufti Day. You got uniform, eh? Oh, no. They went ugly clothes. You'd go ugly clothes. They went ugly clothes. Oh, God.

That is genius from the parents. That's so funny. And because you would know the cool clothes because they would have begged you for weeks for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'll wear them all the time. Yeah. Mum came at me with the plastic spatula, as per usual, for a smack. Yeah.

Back in the day. Back in the day. Different time. Different time. To defend myself with a pan. It's like a kitchen knife. Like a shield. Yeah, like a shield. Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck.

But anyway, she won and I got a whack anyway. So instead of crying and I punched a window. Smashed it. Oh, my God. God, being a teenager is so ruthless, eh? Yeah. Oops. We took our daughter's door off,

told her if you slam it one more time, you're going to lose it until you move out of home. Oh. Shouldn't do that again. My parents made me stand in the doorway at 3 a.m. in the morning holding two books in the air above my head as punishment. One was a Bible.

God bless. 3 a.mam in the morning they must have got home late right yeah they were like stand there and shout yourself

with the book of the lord if it was if I swore it was a tablespoon of mustard powder I can remember getting mustard was that for swearing

mustard powder yeah when you were a kid that spicy stuff yeah kind of like the cinnamon challenge yeah

but yuck mum was always threatening you wait till your father Yeah. When you're a kid, that's spicy stuff. Yeah. Kind of like the cinnamon challenge. Yeah. But yuck. Mum was always threatening, you wait till your father hears about this. I was the only girl, and one day I plucked up the courage, I said, piss off, Karen. Dad ain't going to do shit.

I'm his only baby girl. Oh, my God, the chute. Wow. Ooh. Dad would disconnect things from under the bonnet of my car. Technically his, he had paid for it. Ooh. Dad would disconnect things from under the bonnet of my car. Technically his, he had paid for it. Yep. So.

So you couldn't go anywhere. Yeah, I just couldn't go anywhere. Oh, that's brilliant. Yep. My dad used to do this. Someone used to say, Dad would threaten us with the crack of a leather belt. My dad did it, but he never hit us with the belt.

Yeah, I remember that. You'd go. He'd just unbuckle it, pull it and crack it like that. Did he pull it out quite sexy? Nah, not. Yeah, I remember that. You'd go... He'd just unbuckle it, pull it and crack it like that. Did he pull it out quite sexy? Nah, not... Yeah, I know that. Or did he pull it out bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit?

And then he had to kind of go... And then he walked away and he was trying to put it back in. Yeah. But this person said that... So one day me and my brother decided we buried... And we buried his belt in the backyard.

Somebody else said they got smacked with a belt that when it had bird... What was it called? You embossed. said they got smacked with a belt that had bird embroidered, what's it called? You emboss. It had a bird and when you got smacked with a belt the bird would leave a mark. A bird?

Maybe an eagle. Like a cowboy's arm. You wouldn't have a fantail on your belt. I love a fantail but it's not nice on a belt. Someone's parents used to make them and their sister hug a fence post until their dad decided they'd hugged it for long enough and they could come inside.

Rain or shine. That's good. I knew someone, if they were arguing with their sibling, they got put in a big jumper back to back. Yes. And then they just had to walk around and sort out their problems. Together. They were chained together.

Someone said, I got caught sneaking out at 13 and my window got nailed shut. Nailed shut. Wow. It feels like something you would do. Nailing it shut. Yeah. Because I'd be like, there's not going to be any fresher in that room now. I don't want to have to clean mold.

Oh, yeah, to get moldy. Yeah, but we've got those little latches on them that they can only open so far. That always must be pushed down. Always down. Always down. Always flat. Always flat. Oh, there's so many of them. There's so many. Good luck sticking to that one. That always must be pushed down. Always down. Always down. Always flat. Always flat. Oh, there's so many of them.

There's so many. Oh, wow. We... It just sounds like parents are having fun. Our daughter keeps slamming doors and I say, you do that one more time you're going to lose your door.

And she said, you wouldn't do that. So we didn't take the door off. We put a flap in it and she had to go in and out the flap and do it. Like those big dog flats. That's good stuff. Yeah. Because they're so much privacy but it's degrading. Every time they want to go in and out the flap. Like those big dog flaps. That's good stuff.

Because they're so about privacy, but it's degrading. Every time they want to go to their room, they've got to get in their hands and knees and crawl through. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted.

Susie Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars yeah if she does the same for this podcast

yeah and then she tells all her friends and if you're listening maybe give it five stars as well