ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 17th August 2026

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

00.00: Intro 03.00: Duolingo is restoring streaks 07.15: Dating bio rules 11.20: Wild Secrets Census 18.00: Top 6 - Other things to use for a shuttlecock 22.30: Shannon's HAYU Interview 31.50: Music News 36.45: Are you part of the 9%? 41.05: When did you don a disguse? 49.00: Hayley's pre-show email 52.55: Vaughan's nerdy weekend 58.30: Fact of the day 1.04.05: What was the bad behaviour you witnessed? 1.15.50: SLP - Do you open presents infront of people or alone? 1.21.20: Do you have ooshies in stock? 1.31.00: Reading hack See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

from the ZM Podcast Network. This is... Fleshwon and Haley's Big Pod. Thanks to animates, making happy happen for pets. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Fawn and Haley, happy New Zealand fashion week.

Oh my God, fashion's my passion. Not today, it's not. My passion was sleeping in, pushing it to the last minute and then sort of picking a shirt up off the floor. Yeah. That's good stuff. Yeah.

Yeah, good stuff. Oh, do fashion tomorrow. That's good stuff! Right, how many shows are you guys walking in this, this week. Actually, outrageously none. Oh, I'm doing all of them. Are you?

Again. This is bullshit. It's because he's the hot model on the show. He's just the hot model dimensions. Yeah. Perfect hot dimensions. That's right. Do you remember when that guy told you

you had perfect model dimensions? He went to Barkers. That's trying to suit for a mate's wedding. Yeah. Because I was in the bridal party. Yeah. And the guy was like, I didn't, I said, do I need any alterations?

He's like, no, dude, you're rocking model dimensions. And I went, My man. Bullshar. Gimmy. Unbelievable. That's why you're in all these fashion show walks this week. That just makes sense.

Sam Bezi can't handle my thighs, you know. The top six spawn, what have you got for us? Yeah, well, bird flu is making, having those sort of implications across the board. Oh, I saw a penguin guide. Oh, bird flu. A penguin. I hadn't even thought about this when I got my six new chickens on Friday.

Did you check that we got birth flu? I might be harboring bird flu. Are they cute? And they cute. They're ridiculous. They're only cute for a little bit. Yeah, they are. They're only cute.

Wiery. Like puppies. Yeah, yes. A puppy's stay cute. It depends on bread. I saw some cute puppies yesterday. Did you? Yeah.

Get a bit of puppy action. Yeah. Well, it's making a whole lot of things more expensive, harder to get eggs, for example. Yeah. But the shuttlecock, the humble shuttlecock. Badminton. Because essential for badminton is more expensive because they, after a person. particular type of feather.

I just thought it was plastic. No, no, not like international. Like, sure, if you're buying a set from the tewale potty, yeah. She's probably going to be plastic. We had feather at Queen Margaret's we did Burminton.

Oh, darling? It was a little. I don't even think we ever played Babington, darling. We did. You give it a lot of whack and it doesn't really go anywhere. Yeah. That's, of the racket sport, wildly unsatisfying.

Yes. Bashed a shit out of that thing and it barely goes over. Yeah. But it's getting expensive. Because of the fence. So I've got the top six other things we can whack on a shuttlecock. Next on the show, though, Duolingo. I myself get 12 emails from that annoying green owl every day.

Yeah, bonjour, how's so va? Bonjour, indeed. I had to delete the app, but keep... No, too many notifications. Well, how's he said it? See, my bienn or something. Mo bien, see, puppy. Yeah, see, puppy.

Yeah, see, Pappy. I've got some muse on dualingo. Actually, quite a sweet little dualingo story, really. Oh. The Fletchhorn and Haley, big pod. I'm just learning that Duolingo does maths. Yes. It was like a later edition.

Oh, right. It's great. Maths, piano. All right. Did you know piano? Chess? Music. Spanish and maths.

It was what a 10-year-old had over 300-day streak on dual-ingo at. Nerd? Until... Go and get some friends. Oh. Oh, yeah. Go kick a ball around. Oh.

No, I'm kidding. Hold your time. Hold your time. Oh, no. Oh, no, shit. What's happened to this 10-year-old? Oh, God. Vaughn, don't do this.

Unexpected, no. Unexpected hospital admission. Oh, that sounds like an accident. And that means... Probably shouldn't have been outside kicking the ball. Yeah, I reckon went outside, immediately regretted it. Yeah. Ended up in a hospital and lost his 300-day streak.

Oh, no. And mum, I assume it's mum. Yeah. Put it on X. Someone's still using X. That's quite interesting. No, we're not using X. We used to call it.

Twitter back in the day. Back in the day. We used to tweet, didn't we? And they tagged in, Juolingo. Any chance that you can help a little duo fan. My 10-year-old son had a 300-day streak, but has unexpectedly been hospitalized and missed his lessons. He's home and recovering about heartbroken about losing his streak.

And they were like, let's get that streak going again. reinstalled his streak. That's not a streak. It's like when couples break up and then start again. Oh, no, they've got to reset the counter. Sorry. Yeah. Those are the rules.

Even if Duolingo came in and said, yes, okay, you can have your streak. You'd know. No. The thing is they're opening the door now to do this for everybody. Everybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I don't do Duolingo streaks, although God, Jewelingo really is trying. Emails me every day.

Yeah, and it knows, it really hooks you in, Jewelingo. It's very clever. It'll remind you multiple times a day if you haven't done your lesson for the day. Listen to this, simp shit. Listen to this simp shit. You made Duo sad. Sends a photo with the owl with it. It's iron.

is tearing up. We haven't seen you on a while. Did you say Justu-Des-Ailé? Well, you can't remember what that means. Don't be desperate. Oh, I'm sorry. What did you just say?

Just-We desolet. I'm sorry. That is French 101. Jess-Sui. Jess-wee. Jess-wee. Have you ever... Jesue desolate.

You haven't been doing French on Jewel-Lag. You would know at least a few things. I might do maths, though. Yeah, I'm terrible at maths. You've got a calculator. Why bother? Oh, you're true. I mean, that's a great call.

Look, how quickly we were off the idea of doing math. Yeah. Should we do math? You got a calculator. Oh, yeah, that's right. Why would we do that? But I didn't know how do you work the calculator. You know?

But you don't need cons, sans, comm. What if I want to work out how tall a tree is and all I know is the angle that I'm looking at and how far from the base I am? Actually, yeah, the amount of times though. Then I'm like, how tall's that tree? It's like, wow. I can tell from my eyes I'm on about a 36 degree angle. Yeah. And I'm 14 metres.

from the base of the tree. I think they've put too much emphasis on this for this kid. Streaks aren't real. Well, I don't have any streaks. You'll be fine. It's about the knowledge that you've garnered. Would you still, would you have snap streaks of your girls? I'm going to snap streaks with my kids.

Yeah, okay. How long? I think Indies, we're over a thousand days. There are adults that still do snap streaks. In fact, 9-6-9-6, what's your biggest streak? Yeah. Just now early in the morning. I'm going to do my streaks.

I'm sure we talked about this years ago, and some people are into, I have years and years of streaks. If they need to do Instagram streaks, I'd be nailing it. If there was Instagram streaks. How many, hey, congratulations, another hour. Pointlessly scrolling reels today. That's 5,000 days in a row. Have you got any streaks?

No. No? Well, losers, I. I just feel a bit like losers. I might go for a racially inappropriate filter on my Snapchat streak today. Oh, you're going to get dressed up as a black man? No, I was thinking of doing someone in a Chinese,

one of the Chinese hats. Yeah, but that's fine if you're learning Mandarin. Or Nihau. Korean. Is that Korean? No, Nihau's Chinese. What's Korean? Anion.

Anion. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Look at us. Who needs Duelinger when you've got friends like us? The Flet's morning, Haley, big pod. Now, this is well, I'll call that well researched. What is the sweet spot for a dating profile bio?

Now, one, two, three. Oh, yeah, lots, lots, good, good, good, good, good. Okay, here's the sweet spot. Study one, compared to two-word bio. Ugh. What, like, um... What would your two words be? Sup, dude.

No one's swiping that. Unless you're a 10. I'm cute. Yep. Or, um, crazy gal. Spicy boy, something like that. Uh, compared a two-word bio, a moderate, friendly bio, and a deep, Detailed high disclosure bio, yuck.

Like too much. Like paragraphs after paragraphs. Yeah, dude. There's some people in there who are like, I live existing knowing that I have a greater purpose in life. Day to day, I seek the best of myself. That's got LinkedIn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's horrendous. Sometimes you're like, okay, cool. Like, interest me. You know how you say I take too long, going to the toilet sometimes? You do. And I get stuck into a game and I'll do a few levels of the game. I found a great way to hurry out my ablutions.

I open up LinkedIn I opened up LinkedIn on the weekend Oh yeah when I was enjoying my weekend ablutions as I want to do Yeah

And God I was in and out so quick I didn't even realize the last words It was like Ugh Ugh Oh look

Because it's it You Yeah Well it's just a huge Circle jerk Yeah it is And so I was like really like Oh okay

I'll just get done And get that out of here Yeah Well some people do it on the apps Yeah And you're like Oh god So that study was

Minimal Bios Like the two word is Gives big I'm just here for casual sex Yeah Like I'm not going to be the one to, you know, marry you and meet your family. The moderate bio 1 is preferred dating option, 52% of the time. And messages people actually sent were also rated warmest,

most romantically interested in moderate disclosure profiles. So people with like, enough but not too much, were the ones that were messaging and actually starting a chat. Right. Study 2 did the same thing. Why moderate works using a live five-minute chat with a researcher posing as a match. So they had almost like a fake day. Right.

Moderate disclosure profiles perceived as most genuinely interested in commitment. Because yeah, the short one's just like, I don't care. Do you like my face? Yeah. Enough to kiss it and do other things to it. The over one is like I'm here for maybe like an ego boost. Whereas moderate, the perception was linked to greater actual interest in pursuing relationship. Right.

So the key is to have a moderate bio. How many lines do you reckon? Two to three points in it. So like, you know, I like to go enjoy the outdoors. And when I'm not doing that, I enjoy reading a book and having a glass of wine. We'd love to take you out for a walk. And I believe the earth is flat. And I believe the earth is flat and Jesus Christ is going to damn us all one day.

Something like that. I like to know where I stand on, you know, everything. Earth shape. Exactly. Do you think? What? They said, you know, the Earth's not a globe. Do you think they think it's a disc?

I think, yeah, like a city rom, but with a curved edge. It's got curd the edge. How thick then? Like a stuffed biscuit, like an Oreo? The entire Oreo or just the biscuit part of the Oreo? Entire, because I think there's soil. Of course, of course. There's soil in there.

Lava's the cream. Lava's the icing, but if there wasn't the other Oreo biscuit underneath, the larva would just pour into the... So what's on the other side? What's on the other side of the Oreo biscuit? It's like a different type of soil. I can't believe you don't know this. But do people live there?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no one lives under. The ball be upside down. Yeah. Wait, I thought there was Russia on the other side of the Oreo. No, no, no, they're a long. Oh, they're a long. I didn't know what's on the other side of the disc. You're talking like the world is round.

Oh, my God, sorry. What a crazy idea. So if this was your belief system, perhaps you would want to chuck that into your bio. Yeah, but just don't go on about it. Yeah, enough to feel real without oversharing as the, as the mark. So, like, I'm real as, I'm as real as the earth is flat. The Z&P Podcast Network. Now this is out of Australia.

This is called the sex census. This is, I may be skewed because I feel like if you participate in taking a sex census, maybe you're like a bit more open to it. Whereas like Nana and Popper probably aren't. No, they get a phone call. They're like, hi, I'm calling from the census. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.

We want to talk to you about your sex life. Oh, no, no. No, no. You would imagine that they get people filling this out because they're on their mailing list. Because they're on their mailing list. Yeah, they can have bought something. something. This is from an adult

toy website in Australia. This will be my number, I'll give you some stats from the sex census, but my number one takeaway is that the queer community are leading the charge. Right. Do we think that Australians, like how do we compare to Australians

as New Zealanders? Do you think we're... You'd know better than most. A little bit more laid back? You would do your own research. You've done your own fair share of Australians, what would you say? I don't know, I've just... I've never slept with Australian. Haven't you? Haven't you ever? They're quite fun. Haley? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm always popping over for work, aren't I? Right. Oh God. Haley, no. Oh, subterfuge. Subterfuge. That was pretense. I would say usually when, if outside of a sex survey, if I was looking at stats and it said Australians, I'd kind of include us in that because we're already forgetting, forgotten. Okay. So, so. we'll get to the gay stuff soon

so this was a survey of a thousand okay a thousand people so you know grain of salt but one of the biggest shifts in the last like five years is what people actually count as sex

you know when you say like how many people have had sex with you like for a heterosexual couple you'd think would be PNV or PNB or if you're gay it's P&B or whatever well now there's a lot more there's in the or the

back or the face. Okay, yep. And the face. Okay, yeah. Okay, right. But now. It's famously called face sex. Yeah, face sex is now counted as sex.

Yeah. We could go for a rebrand on that actually. Face sex does. Yeah, we're not saying oral anymore. We're saying face. Why don't we just say face stuff? Face stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, because that makes it sound like your face is on their face. Oh, yeah. No, no. So it's, so now, so front or back or face. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Those are your three sort of main...

Your main sex. But face used to be excluded. Now we're saying that counts. That counts. But also intimate touching. Wait, does it count to your number? You're talking? I don't know if I should count to your overall tally.

Yeah, but then what about lesbians? What about them? They have numbers too. So intimate touch, partnered we're doing to ourselves together, also counted in there up a lot since 2017. Right. So what is actually counted as sex, that's changed shape in the last few years.

What are you saying? Hand stuff is... Yeah. So your number's increased. We need to redo the numbers. My number has increased. Fletch just got a couple more zeros. Changing attitudes...

Rude. Decimal point. Doing, doing. Yeah, just shuffle the decimal over one. Changing attitudes. 59% more open to trying new positions in the last. last five years. I'm so glad that the remaining

41% there's still just like, no, thank you. Mish. It's Mish. Mish, eyes open. Eyes open is the trying new position. 57% of people were more comfortable discussing their preferences with their partner openly, which is good. 28% of people were more curious now than they were five years ago about BDSM King called Pollyamory. Okay. 32% of people credit increased

LGBT invisibility for the shift and attitudes towards sex, gender and sexuality. So people going, I'm straight and then being like, well, with a few caveats. Caviots. Like, you're straight, through and through, caveat, Henry Cavill. Yep. Yeah.

In which case, as we discussed, in a threesome, he's not just going to look at it. He'll get involved. Yeah, okay. Sex per week, this was done by state, which is not really interesting for us. But in Australia, on average, national average, 1.4 times. So you'd say that's Wait, what was 1.4 times?

I'm having sex. A week. A week? 1.4 times a week. Okay. So the point four is the face stuff. Yeah, yeah. I would say that's one session in

and a session around. Okay. Yeah. So here's the gay stuff. So compared to 55% of straight respondents, 81% do new acts regularly. Okay. Switch it up.

New acts regularly. Regularly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When do they run out? 81% gay lesbian, 80% bisexual, 55% straight. So, and overall, the straights are keeping it more vanilla. Yeah. Or more, this is what we do.

Yeah. Whereas the gays are going, we did that last week. Let's do something new. Yeah. Gay and lesbian couples are discussing their sex life openly together and with their friends more than straights, 54%. Well, that's because strays have nothing to say, apart from, I just laid there.

Missionary and shut my eyes. Pray to God and hope it's over so. I'll get to that. I'm going to finish with that stat. The safety gap. 89% of people say that they know how to avoid STIs and unwanted pregnancy. So that's kind of good.

Yeah. But the other 11%? And yet 11% unrelated, but 11% of people say that they are relying on the pull-out method. So the last stat, I will say, the last stat I will say is that 58% of gain.

lesbian and bisexual couples say are reporting great sexual satisfaction just pipping the straits at 49 the gays win the gays win the surveys win the surveys win all the sexes yeah yeah it's just overall yeah that's still a lot of dissatisfied people

though isn't it like that's a high number of dissatisfied people there's a high number of dissatisfied people yeah exactly get out there and remember that the face and the hands now count to you a greater number, so adjust. The ZM Podcast Network. ZM's Fletchborn and Haley. From the unmoderated

comment section, this is the top six. Well, the shuttlecock of badminton fame is made from goose feathers. A goose. Goose. 16 goose feathers, all taken from the same wing of the goose

to keep the curvature uniform embedded into a cork or rubber base. but goose. The goose is a bird. What? Wait, what? I know. This is why I'm saying it slowly. The goose is a bird.

And at the moment there's bird flu and the birds are dying of the bird flu. And it's tearing through all these places. I just thought about our duvays and our jackets, our puff of jackets. I'm feather, I'm feather cushion inlay as well. Well, I've got terrible news. Well, it's okay because you've already got them. But, you know, should you need another one, a replacement? sometime in the future.

If this blue flu situation's not, mind you, I've got to say there's some fair bit of rogue Canadian geese out my way. I'm more than happy to slaughter them all and pluck them and hold those feathers for you guys when you need to do that top up. They're a pest, they're an invasive species. I do believe it's open season on Canadian geese the entire time.

This is absolutely shocking to me because I only ever, I guess when I played badminton maybe had a set as a kid or played at school and they were just plastic. I had no idea. I had no idea they were actually feathers. At the Olympics. The poor kids.

Yeah, that's what we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the Olympics, did they use feather? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they have to be special. I made any badminton, like, official badminton game going on with these titles and stuff being played. It has to be like an officially recognised shuttlecock. See, if I play badminton, I'd just be a sore loser and blame the shuttlecock and say, well,

feathers were off. feathers were off, yeah. They were flared, yeah. Well, other top six things we can use instead of goose feathers for shuttlecock. Okay. Great. Fish fins is number six on the list.

Oh, pongy. They're already technically sort of shaped like the shuttlecock skirt. Sometimes, yeah. But it's going to be like, whoopoo. Yeah. Pooh.

Do you mean like, especially the back ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things to use instead of Goose feathers, flax spears. Oh, that'd look nice.

Or cabbage tree spears. Oh, yeah, okay. As a person has to pick up all the cabbistry spears before he mows the lawns. Dude. Worst native tree. Can't just tear them down, can you? But they last. They'll be really good.

I've told you should rip up the lawn and just put artificial grass down. But you won't. It looks nice. You can't even tell. Yeah, you can't tell. It's classy. It's classy. Oh, it's so nice.

You can't tell. Oh, no, you cannot tell. You cannot tell. You vacuum up. Yeah, and it's just as nice to walk on. Well, you can't tell, you're toes. You can't tell. You can't tell.

Number four on the list of the top six things to use instead of goose feathers for Shadow Cox. A golden retriever fur. Oh. Now, if anybody else would like some, I have approximately one entire dogs worth of golden retriever fur. Can we put that in our duvays for winter? I think so. It'd be warm. Yeah.

He never looks cold. Stinky. Stinky. We might want to wash it. Otherwise, it'd be like, pu. Pur. Yuck. Yuck.

Oh, poor. Number three on the list of the top six things to use instead of goose feet. feathers. It swirped in and replaced feathers and pillows. NASA Memory Firm. Okay. It could also replace the feathers job. Yeah.

We could get it shaped however you want it. How about weird, though, eh? And then you whack it and they miss shapes, and then it goes, back to its ordinary shape. Number two on the list of the top six things to use instead of goose feathers. And a shuttlecock, poo kickle feathers. Yep. Pretty.

Locally sore. Yeah, it looks nice. Yeah, nice colour. What about Kiwi feathers? That a good one? No, no, no. We don't remember. We don't remember.

There's almost too many of them. Okay, fair. And number one on the list of the top six things to use instead of goose feathers for a shuttlecock given the shortage for bird flu. Haley's old hair extensions. Oh, I just got a fresh set, but they're on the floor and they're in the bin.

Next time. Okay, I'll get them. You don't donate them? Plug it in. They can't reuse them, no, yeah. It would look quite funny. Like, you're whacking and be like, blu-l-l-l-l-l-hrecks.

Yeah. That'd be nice. That'd be nice. That would be nice. the child that was shaved bald for your extensions would probably like more than one use out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They would just shave ball.

Ethically. Yeah, ethically shaved ball. That is today's top six. The Zanam Podcast Network. Now, lovely producer Shannon, we mentioned last week, was heading off to Australia on her own. Now, she's never been to Australia before. We were nervous that she was going on her own.

Has it done one overseas trip before that? Yes, yep. And first of all, she survived, and here she is. Gidey, mate. Gidey might. How's your international adventure? It was scary, but I leaned on my womanhood and I made friends at every stage of my trip

and they helped me through. So you went, so did you meet a few women over there who helped you? The second I got to the airport, I found a woman at Kuru, of course, darling. Darling, she's elite. She's Nipo elite. Yeah, because her boyfriends are, yeah. Well, travel.

Well, travel, yeah. I literally said, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm scared. When do I need my passport? And she said, follow me. Oh my Jesus Christ. I can't put it away. I can't put it away in it every step. And then I got to Australia and they needed my passport.

He said, well, I'm here now. Why do you need it? You need to enter the country. That's fine. It's fine. She's good. I got it. And I still have my passport. Everything's all good. Go, good, good. Okay, great. So you were heading over. You were in Sydney?

Yes, I went to Hay You Fan Fest. It was the most incredible event I've ever been to. So this isn't just for media. This is like the public could buy tickets to go to the. This is like Comic-Con for reality TV stars. Yeah, so there was 3,000 people who was at Horton Pavilion. And man, the vibes were on. The bar was flowing for a lot of people.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. It was a great event. Two of the housewives famously are DJs, so they did DJ sets. Brilliant. It was a bit of a pair. As in like push a space bar on a MacBook. Yeah, yeah. How much, if someone from the public was going to go to this,

what was like the door charge? I am not too sure. Mate, she got media parts. No, I know. She did. She's elite. She's media Nepo elite. It was incredible though. So there was eight of my favorite Hey You celebrities. So we had, I'm going to

run you through them real quick. We're Derinda, the most iconic housewife of all time. I miss that drink. That was nice. So much better than Fanta. Or Vaughn's just looked up how much they were to go. $129 Australian dollars. Oh, that's not bad. And VIP passes were

250 Australian dollars. That's not. Why are you aghast at that? That's not. that's what people pay to go to a concert. People get so invested in these reality shows. And there were thousands of people there. 3,000 people, yeah. So Derinda, Cynthia, we had Meredith Marks, Alexia, Juliet, Captain Jason from below deck, and then she...

Well, she's not even reading off a list. She's genuine. This is your Disney land. Oh, guys, so I was staying in the same hotel as all of these guys. Pass off. I was at four seasons, and I kept running into them at the elevator, and they were the kindest people. The second they met all the media,

they learnt all of our names. They, like, stayed in touch, they followed us, they chatted, they were incredible people. Well, we're very excited for you. You've got to interview eight of your favourite, how you reality stars. Shall we have a listen to see how she went? How would you suggest is the best way to watch the show? Definitely now with the boyfriend. No.

Unless you want to lose them and scare him away. I think in the bathtub with some caviar. Of course. And definitely with a group of your great friend, girlfriends, gay friends, friends, friends. because it's just a fun experience. And, you know, it's such a combination of all kinds of emotions, right? So a couple glasses of wine, the show only gets better and better. Yeah, and the guys like the show, too.

They like Housewives as well. Like, my guy, like, since we've been, not before me. Oh. But now he's like, wait, isn't Housewives coming on tonight? I'm like, oh, look at you. Just all addicted now. Well, I get told a lot that our franchise Down Under is the gateway for the respective partner to get into the housewives.

The wives or the girlfriends are watching the housewives. The men just don't want to have a bar of it. Then they start watching down under and they come slowly in and next minute they're sitting on the couch watching the housewives as well. So we're the gateway. So in that order, you'd have to watch Blow Deck first and then move straight on to Housewives of London. Keeping the Aussie flow going.

I think you start our show alone and after you build up a love for it, that's when you can start doing group watching. Especially those first few seasons, I feel like you need to watch alone because the triangles of like, this person's hooked up with this person. person, but this person's 30 years older, so there's a baby being now.

Oh my God, yeah, it's pretty wild, huh? It's pretty crazy. The good old days. You couldn't make that up. It'd be too crazy. The truth is stranger than fiction. What do you find harder to watch back? The confessionals of your other castmates or watching your own low moments or perhaps

what your crew got up to on a night out? Well yeah, I never see all that. When I watch it all back, I'm just like, I do shake my head. I probably the amount of M&Ms I think is my problem. Pop in the back. Just like, you're ever going to stop? Yeah, you've got to, like, it is tough to watch those confessionals and they dig deep because you don't know their emotional and what they're feeling. So you've already taken the double whammy of having to go through emotion again and the upset moment, but then to hear their opinion on top of that, I find that really, I'm quite sensitive.

And I'm like, you think in the moment everything's fine and then you watch it and were like, that's really me. You really were like, like digging that sort in and twisting and that insult to it. I was like, but you know, you just, as I was saying just before, you've got to grow a crocodile hide and it's entertainment. So that's how I'm having to approach it now. I've rather watched the confessionals. I think it's really hard to watch your low moments. I agree. On the show because it just brings back that pain or whatever it was you were going through.

So I'd rather just not see that. The confessionals, you have fun with it. We didn't know it's part of it. It's like, exactly. It's not going to hurt us so much as like reliving our painful moment. That's true, especially I guess, because you're probably healing from those moments and then you're reliving it. Yeah, that's actually the hardest part of the show reliving those moments. I watch back almost everything, but if I know I did wrong, I'm like, I can't do it.

It's bad for my psyche. Yeah, I like to live in the moment. Lommer Filman and I give it 100%. But, you know, I like catching clicks of the show. I think it's really funny. I find myself laughing on the plane a lot when it pops up. But, you know, we've been doing it a while, and for me, yeah, I think confessionals over the years have gotten tougher because you feel like you catch a stray sometimes. And you're like, whoa, because we're so direct to each other that we usually just say how we're feeling to each other.

So sometimes you always said to each other like, it's not personal. We're making a TV show. And that's sort of an out. But there's lines. I can't handle that. I'd be like, well, you still said it. you know? Yeah, yeah, but things get twisted around as we know. I don't

take things that we say directly to each other personal. Right. But if you say something in a green screen, I'd be like, dude, well then why didn't you say it to my face? Yeah. We play a game on our radio station in New Zealand called mints or mints or mints like beef or mints like a breath mint? Am I saying beef or breath mint?

Mints. Beef. Yes, yes, you felt it. You felt it. Yeah. Mints. I think it's the meat one. It was meat. Yeah. You didn't hear the C.E at the end? I thought I heard a T. Mm-mm, that was a C-E.

Mints. Yeah, I think breath mints on that one. You're right. Oh, see, I'm so good at the C-E. Mints. That's the breath mint. Yes. He's good at the T.

Mints. Oh, mints, like, breath mints. That's the game? That's the game. Look, we keep a simple down on that. You guys, you don't, you know, guys. We got to get you some new games, girl. Mints.

That's got to be beef. Yeah, it was. Mints. Beef. Yeah. Mints. That's beef. Yes.

Yeah, okay. This is an interesting game. I've never played this game. Okay, mints. That's a mint. That's my friend Andrew Mints. His name is M-I-N-T-Z, and so I said mints. Well, thank you both so much for taking time to speak to me today.

Oh, thank you. Anything for a fellow, K-Way? Thank you. I say that because my grandfather was... Oh, really? Yes. Yes. And my husband's grandmother.

Yeah, he was born. He was from Hawks Bay. He was a horse wrangler, moved to Australia when he was 19. I never met my grandfathers, but I want to take my daughter back to New Zealand. Wow. Because we've got all the old albums, and I want to take her back to New Zealand. I haven't told, I've only started telling people this year. I've only had the confidence to tell people that I have Kiwi blood.

I know, right? It's like the Canadians and the Americans are the French and the English, the Kiwis and the Aussies. Yeah, it's because the All-Blaks were doing so well. Yeah, just claim it. Play them. Wallabies are not going so well. Well done, Shannon. I'd say, considering you're such a fan of these people,

that you actually really helped you call. Yeah, kept you call. You know, there was this moment during mints or mints that I felt my soul crumble. I was so humiliated. Like, it really shattered me because I had to really prompt them. There's a bit of editing in that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said, can you play back? And one of the housewives said no. Honestly, you can tell me to move on. Like, what the hell is this game? Yeah. Yeah, it was such great fun. And they all remembered me as the Mints Girl the next day.

Yeah, you're great. I think that's a great way to be known around a huge international event. Is the Mints Girl from New Zealand. Play Z-N's Flashhorn and Haley. Pitchfork, which is a music reviewing journalist's website. I mean, they've been doing it for years. Kind of quite hipster. Like, they're hipster elite, right?

Hipster, like artistically a bit... Snobby. But, like, well, really. respected in the craft, you know, that kind of vibe. They have released their first 0.0 out of 10 since 2006. We've just discovered Jets Shine On. Which was a great album?

A great album. Sorry, this... Really sucked beer out of that, didn't you? What's happened? So, I've just read... Australian band Jet. Probably best nine for A, you're going to be my girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This song, the album, Shine On. That pitchfork hated it so much instead of writing a published review, they just put 0.0 and put a video of a chimpanzee urinating in its own mouth instead of a written review. Yeah. What? Why did they hate it so much? I don't know.

But that's not the review we're talking about. This is the review of Starface and Tiger. Their album, Starface. Okay? So this is Tiger, who, he's been in the charts for ages. He was part of Chris Brown's crew. had a lot of hits for ages. RACCity faded in taste.

They were all in the charts for years in the 2010. Isn't he... Is that something to do with Kylie Jenna? He dated Kylie Jenna. Do you know he also hooked up with Avril Levine? Okay, great. Oh, wow. Kept him in the tabloids, they say, well beyond his music,

that he was involved with the Jenners. Also estimated to have earned $8 to $20 million during his time on Only fans. Yeah, he's loaded, right? So his new album. What did he do? Loaded. He is packed and loaded. He's packed and loaded.

Right. Let's, yeah, okay. He's not the father of Kylie Jenner's children though, is he? No. Nah. Okay. That's Travis Scott. Yeah.

I was like, not Travis Scott. Lay, look, that's the other. White guy in his 40s over here. Here we go. Who knows rap? Now, I'm going to play that there. By the way, this whole album's explicit, so stay with me. This is track one on Starface.

Oh, white rooms, moving fast, moving cold. Mountain peaks of paper and gold. Okay. Okay. Here's a bit... I'm just giving you vibes. Yeah. Just give you vibes. This is track too.

So it's the same lyrics. Same lyrics as the first song. Okay. This is track four. A bit of 80 synth pop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's all I'm going to play because, according to Starface, this is their, like, they give a title.

to the review. The rapper's Slop Pop concept album is smug and complacent and depressing. Its very existence has made the world a worse place. Wow. Tell us what you really are. Tell us what you really think. They gave it a 0.0 out of 10. It calls it a lazy, pointless and beyond its AI use.

And he came out and just straight up said, yeah, it's written and performed done by AI. The whole thing is AI. That's not even him. No, he's put his voice over top of it, but it's all written by AI. Oh, so all the musical aspects of it. Right. And I'll tell you what, you can absolutely tell. Jhat

said she was on a live and just in the moment said Tiger is a penis and he's made an AI album and they've had history they've worked on tracks together before Right It is so bad

Because I was like 0.0 You've released her now It's got to have a 1 So I listened to her On the drive down to Tauranga That is literally the shittest thing I've ever heard with my own earhols Really?

But he's not the only one So people are coming out It's so bad Don't listen to it And they said, sorry, at the end of the review, you've got to read this. It's so funny. The last sentence, which is so great. Stream it.

Where is it? Stream it out of morbid curiosity if you must. But know that even a single listen runs a risk of making it profitable and therefore encouraging the music industry to commit such atrocities again. Wow. So they're like, it's absolutely bad. But he's not the only one. So Troy has come out saying he's used I.

Troy who? Troy Savan has come out saying he's using AI for his music Pitbull's also using AI in their new albums They're just doing a whole Mr 305 Yeah I know Because remember I messaged I talked about the fact that

I was in an Uber in Paris And I heard some like nice soul music And that was AI Yeah But now real artists are saying Yeah I'm just using AI to do it It's nice and easy That's good music

Yeah I know isn't that terrible But Pitbull How dare you Mr. Mr. I had, I held pit bull in higher regard. Play that ends

Fleshhorn and Haley. Now someone has collated a number of studies on left-handedness and debunked a few myths. There's a few here, I'll pick and choose, but 966, if you were a lefty

as I am and my granddad and my mum. Oh, right, so genetic. And Obama, he was a lefty. Obama. He's a few famous lefties. They say it's not, but I'm like, there it is.

You know, it's all there. I think that's not too. Yeah. So why left-handedness happens, they don't actually know. It's uncertain. 2026. This year, Oxford study

theorised that hand preference evolved alongside bipedalism, which is the freeing of hands for precise tasks. So basically we just picked up something and just went with the left. On the back too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And brain regions become specialised, possibly requiring a specialist hand. Still unclear way, rightness. became dominant. Now here's some folklore myths that have been debunked, linked to Satan witchcraft and bad luck in various cultures.

Obviously. Yeah, they say bad luck from left foot out of the bed at the start of the day. Passing drinks left-handed bad luck. Vanishing twin theory was debunked that most left-handed absorbed their twin in the womb.

I've never heard that one. Yeah, because there's a slight skew on twins have been more left-handed. So if I'm left-handed without a twin I ate it. Didn't. Lefties die younger from right-handed equipment. That's debunked. In a myth that all polar bears are left-handed, since proved fake.

Oh, probably couldn't get close enough to them to give them a pencil. I actually don't think I've seen a polar bear with a pen and paper. Upsides. Scissors, though. Yeah. Polar bet's great with scissors. Your special scissors, don't you? Yeah, so they did a big survey of people who were left-handed, the biggest struggles.

Number one was the smudged riding. because we write and then we smudge our hand right over it, for sure. Right side biased phone buttons and equipment like scissors. People learning sports and instruments on right-handed specialist equipment. That's at the top of the list. And then someone had to sit alone at school for extra writing space because it was tight. So everyone's got their right elbow out.

And then they were next to someone. So they were isolated to the back of the class with a bit more space around their desk. Left-handed is known as more competitive, modified fighting. People who are left-handed fighters are usually stronger. We do face some social cognitive deficits, apparently, according to a 26th, 2026 study, that we are slower at verbal things, like we're not good at saying hello and everything like that. Sex differences found that we are left-handed, we're more ambidextrous in the bedroom. I can't confirm.

Congratulations. That's true. I'm right-handed in the bedroom. Oh, some messages from our left-handed people. Oh, yes, spiral-bound writing books. You know when you had like a... Yeah. But couldn't you just go backwards?

Upso down. Upso down. Sure. Yeah, we could have done that. Someone said, no way is Haley related to Barack Obama. Correct, confirmed. Cissors, they never sit nicely in your left-hand and they don't cut us straight.

You can go online though, can't you? They're left-handed shops online and stuff? Yeah, but specialist equipment. Why should we have to pay for that? Can openers? Yeah, yeah, you do that right-handed. K-handed? Someone said there's a left-handed of 23 years.

What do you mean? Oh, are you 23? I've always struggled with writing in a straight line. Whenever I write something, I'll gradually slope down, and the next thing I know my sentence looks like a hell. I do that and I'm right-handed. If there's not a line to follow, I can't write a straight line either.

Oh, someone did say being left-handed, I can write sideways and upside-down, thank you. Because I'm always accommodating, making room for the, for the spine of the book. Someone said when you're a left-hander and you're sitting next to a right hand at the dinner table and you both lift up a spoon at the same go for a spoon at something at the same time

and you're smashed your elbows. Oh. Someone said my four-year-old's left-handed it breaks my heart every day. Smack it out of them. They used to. They used to. My mum said she can remember

as kids at school getting the absolute shit whacked out of their hand every time they used their left hand. Well, love to all the lefties out there. The ZM. Podcast Network. Play ZM. Flesh forne and Haley.

Nicole Kidman's doing some publicity at the moment for the long-awaited sequel to Practical Magic. What's Sandra Bullock. Oh, gosh. This one's got the Masey Williams from Game of Thrones and Joey Tribiani. Joey Triviani from Friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How you doing? That's what he says. Well, Nicole Kidman on this little press tour has led a few little cats out of the bag. She's talked about her marriage, gender. Yes, and did you see she made a bit of a good? comment about Tom Cruz as well?

No. Because they were together ages ago. Yeah. Yeah. And she made a comment just kind of like a little throwaway dig or something about him because he's in drama with his other kids and something. I thought that she got... He's an absent dad and we just sort of let him have a... I think so. Surrey was his... Surrey Cruz was with Katie Himes and I don't think

they've had anything to do in each other for a long time. But yeah, she's mentioned about her divorce. She said at this age when my marriage ended. I wasn't quite sure. I'm not going to have the future I thought I was going to have. Should be gutted too because he got the GHD and the divorce. She's not actually curly here. I reckon she's got enough money for her own.

I reckon she's got enough money to pop out and buy. But, you know, when you've got a good GHD, you've got a good... If you get one of the original ones like mine from 2006, you'd never replace it. You want to hold on to it as long as possible. Keith Urban got that for his fringe. It also turns out that Nicole Kidman goes clubbing in a disguise.

Does she hit to clubs? Yeah, she said, how does she spend her holiday? She told Vogue magazine it's a small dinner party or it's a rave. I'm either playing Scrabbler or I'm out. It's that simple. Dinner at 10.30 p.m. Club at 1 a.m. Dinner at 1030. Dinner at 1030 p.m.

Fletch, you've had about three hours, you know, by that point. You've been asleep for hours. I can't imagine anything worse. Sometimes I wear a wig, a little dark wig, and then I can just dance. I'll have glasses on. I'll be surrounded by people and people don't know it's me. So she dons a disguise. Yeah. I've been to point her out.

She donned a disguise and went to Charlie XX's brat. Did she? She said she did. I love that. I don't know why I assumed Nicole would be slightly more reserved. Is she an Ozzie Bogan at heart? Is she a Bogan hits the race? But how old is she?

Like, 59. Good Lord. Good Lord. I hope I'm raving at 59 in a sort of donned wig. You're raven bloody mad at 59. Yeah, but if that was an old mate 59 rave, everyone would be looking at him like, dude. Yeah, totally.

She gets away with it because she's beautiful and famous. Yeah. I love that she wore a little disguise. Yeah. Well, that's what we want to know this morning. When have you donned a disguise? I love this. Whenever you put on some dark glasses or maybe a...

Because you know every now and then you'll just see someone who doesn't ever wear a baseball cap, wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, and you take a little while to realize it to recognize them, and you're like, it kind of does work how it works in the movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A not hat person in a hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love, we put this up on Instagram. I love that someone messaged it, And I'm like how. My best friend and I pretended to be bush, to be a bush, to catch a cheating friend. Well, they're hidden a bush. They get a gilly suit. What do you mean you've dressed up as a bush? I'm, I go straight to like primary school play.

Like, Mom, I'm the bush. You know, like cardboard. Painted green. A hole with your face. Yeah. I get a sort of a pot, a big pot. So you could sit in the pot and be the bush. Yeah.

And then when you need to move, you just kind of put your legs out the bottom of the pot. And then move the pot that way. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, whether you've been trying to catch a cheetah or spying on someone. Yeah. I don't know. Why would people need to don a disguise?

Maybe you were just, like, bunking off of work. Remember, there was that chick who dressed up as a ghost. And she had a sheet over her to go to Taylor Swift. To get Taylor Swift tickets or something. And she was like, and then someone who was like, why are you doing that? She's like, I'm bunking off work for this. So maybe you were? You were walking past your work?

I'll wait, hundred, a dozen Amazon number. We want to take your calls now. Text us, 966. When did you don a disguise? Somebody has messaged in, 9696, if you've ever donned a disguise to get away with something. They were at Fisher last year in Christchurch. What's Fisher? Oh my God.

That DJ that everybody went crazy. I was asking on behalf of the listener that doesn't know. That's a fair point. That's a fair point. I obviously know Fisher. I literally was listening to the Fisher on the way into the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, I'm flying up and cool, okay?

I'm flying and keeping up with it. You are, you are. He's Australian, he's a DJ. I know, he's Australian, he's a DJ. I was a little bit of a scene in Australian DJ. Yeah, so he was in Christchurch, which is a city in the South Island of New Zealand. I was there. At the game.

At the Fisher. Yeah, and there was a person in one of those dinosaur costumes. Are we talking an inflatable dinosaur costume? Yeah, the tea read, the inflatable. It's so good. It's so good. And it turns out that it was an all black. And you think about it, if you were a well-known all-black,

it would be quite hard to go to a concert. If everybody's a bit ripped in there. A bit boos. Yeah. And then... You're trying to enjoy your favorite artist or songs or whatever. Fisher. People are like, can I get a photo?

Yeah. Yeah. There's actually 808 messaged. And thanks, Haley. I didn't know if Fisher Walls. Ignore those other two bozos. I, thank you. 8-O-8.

Bozo? These are the people that I represent. I was just asking. for her, eight o'way. Now, this is the one that made me laugh before. A bouncer didn't let me into a bar with my girlfriends because I'd had a few too many beves when they say, so turn you away. So I just went to the back of the line where my

guy friend was standing, he gave me his cap and jacket, I lowered my voice a little and it worked at trade. I got it in the second time around. Wow. We've got to do that thing where you're like, okay, I'm good. Have you had anything to drink tonight, ma'am? No, I have not. No, I have not. Just practice that. Got in.

When I was at school, quite a few years ago, I went to school with a guy that had been expelled for drugs. I don't know if he was selling them, using them, something related to drugs. And then at the end of the year, we had a ball. And he dressed up as a female with a wig and a dress and makeup and everything and walked past the principal at the door. Walked straight into the ball. Wow.

Someone just said who was Haley. Now, just because I didn't know who Fisher was, I'm Haley. I'm the female voice of the show, Fletchbourne and Haley. I'm the third part. Okay, that's me. You're more into your heavy metal and your classic rock. If you want to talk about the drama with Slipknot

and why, you know, Sid's been kicked down. We can go there, but it's not on brand. Fisher, however. I want to disguise myself in a cap and glasses to meet my sister at the airport. I sat down next to the cafe and she didn't even recognise me. That's, I'm telling you, the cap. That's brilliant.

We laugh about a hoodie and a cap and glasses. You just look shady. But it is hard to work out who it is some of the time. I dress up as my sister to try and use her ID to get into a club once. It's unsuccessful because I had forgotten her birthday. Now you should know your sister's birthday You've got to remember your sister's

And the star sign Because that was always the thing with a fake ID You were like, Virgo, Virgo, Virgo, Virgo, Virgo, Virgo, Virgo, yeah, yeah, because that's eight. 1986 and I'm a Virgo. I'm a Virgo. I mean, they can spot the people in line practicing the Virgo, Virgo, Virgo, Vogo, Vogo, October.

October. Oh well. Someone's just messaged in that they dressed up wants to go to the sevens. It's not quite got the right end of the stick on the spine and tubba. No, no. You're not quite got the right end of the stick. Someone messaged in saying that they got on their shoulders with a friend

and they put on a big trench coat. No, you did it. Yes, you did. Where did you go? No, you did it. Where did you go? You should go to an R18 movie? The ZDM Podcast Network. What's going on?

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. Now, this weekend, just gone. I finished my New Zealand tour and I wrapped things up of Sprout on the Proud. and I wrapped things up in Nelson on Saturday night. And I had a friend coming who emailed me and said, why would I have just, didn't email me, message me and said, why would I have received this email alongside my tickets for the night?

And apparently the Nelson crowd were all emailed with a little note at the bottom that said, please do not preload too much before attending the theatre. Really? It said in the email. Wow, that's like a headmaster. off the school before a guest comes. Or before the ball being like, if you have preloaded, you will not be allowed in. Now, you may remember when I spoke of Dunedin.

There was, the second Daneden show in particular were, it's like they all get boisterous, lubricated. And to the point where sort of, you know, people were wandering around and being removed, it was a lot. But I love a boozy crowd. You know, I like people to have a couple of drinks. and me and the producers we email,

we didn't have a problem with it, but we emailed the venue to be like, is this a Haley specific rule? You know, that they've gone. That's my question, or is this a general? Every time there's a gig, they say, hey, reminder, your show's on tomorrow night.

Because I was like, do I have a notoriously boozy crowd? Do you think that they just never sell as much booze as they want at the bar and they're trying to like, oh, yeah, because they make money at the bar for sure. No, apparently, but we said, yeah, asked. Is this just specifically for us or is this protocol? They said it's something they've introduced after having a bit of a run of people preloading way too hard and then going to

these shows and like hoop and hollering. Oh, yelling out when they shouldn't be. Yelling out, getting a bit involved in everything. And even when I was backstage, you have a conversation with front of house about some things like are you going to allow late comers or people to take photos and stuff? And they said, what do you want to do about hecklers, you know, people getting a bit reckless and shouting out and what do you want to do?

How do you want people removed if they call? I was like, Nelson. They've developed this reputation of being some kind of like unruly, larceny crowd. And I'll say my crowd was very well behaved. Oh, really? The appropriate amount of getting involved. Well, that's because they weren't allowed to have a drink before. No, they had drink.

They definitely had some drinks before, but just the appropriate amount. Right. I was like, I love that Nelson. The theatre attending crowd of Nelson have... Who knew? changed rules to the point. They've had this at no other venue who have had to say,

please don't know. Well, maybe Donaida needed that rule. Maybe Donovan needs that rule. I think next year I'll be putting that in my own personal email when they book tickets. De Naden, lay off, especially at 830 shows because they're like, oh, go to dinner. It's like, well, what time you've got a dinner?

5.30. You've got that's a three-hour lead in, guys. Oh, and if you're going out for dinner, drinks will be expensive there, so it's either got to be a beer or a couple hours drinking before that. Yeah, and if you've left a three-hour pre-window, dinner's 45 minutes. What are we doing for the rest of it? Well, you can see why people are laughing at the show.

Absolutely off their... What? Sorry? Oh. So there's jokes. They're laughing at the jokes in the show. You know, you can't bully me on... Because now I don't have an audience to confirm. Yeah, she's not going to be able to take it away. No. On the weekends I'll just be around.

So for the next, until we do the Fleachwoman and Haley live shows, you're going to be starved of attention at the weekends. And now I've already booked a gig for Thursday. Yeah. Thursday night. Yeah, Thursday night I'm doing a gig. Right. But yeah, yeah, no, touring's done. I have said to those who it concerns, you guys included,

I will be a menace for some time. I'm depleted in laughter. Okay. Okay, so anything I say, you know, can be whatever, yeah, that's better. Yeah. It's a little bit. A little top of up. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Is that it me? Stop that. Play ZM's Flashawn and Haley I did two things at the weekend and both tickled a real special part of my brain What did you do? The Auckland Mushroom Festival was on.

Who knew? I love this. Who knew? Okay, I must say, I did see the video of the mushroom parade where everyone was dressed as mushrooms and silly hats and they went into the train station, into a new station.

And I was like, what is happening? I know. This is the first Auckland mushroom festival. I went to a talk about the use of magic mushrooms for mental health. Yes. For benefiting your mental health. That was really, really interesting.

It was like a little room. I went to a chat. I went to a talk. He went to a talk in the weekends. Oh, look at me. I'm at a talk. Oh, look at you. I'm a guy that goes to talks now. Expanding one's mind. Yeah. Wow. And then it was part of the mushroom festival. Now I was like, what all the mushroom festival involved? I know our local cafes. We're doing like omelets.

Dishes with mushrooms in them and I didn't know it was about food. Of course, it wasn't just about hallucinogens. It was about food and everything. Mushroom. And so I'll walk out of this mushroom talk. I'm like, man, that was fascinating. Why is that person dressed as a mushroom?

We're at a mushroom festival. There's another person dressed as a mushroom. Yeah. I saw it on Instagram. It looked so amazing. My girlfriend's like, you know there's going to be a mushroom parade. I said, what? What are you talking about?

That's why it ruins dresses mushrooms. I think my friend flew over from Australia. to lead this parade. Johanna Cosgrove, she's a comedian. She did. She led it with a megaphone. Yeah. Going fungi.

Cha, cha, cha, cha. Now, that's a toy for a acting degree paying off in droves. I just was, I just couldn't believe I love mushrooms. There's something sort of whimsical about mushrooms.

I love eating mushrooms. Why does I like eating? You know, I got that book with all the fungus. Yeah, all the fun of that New Zealand photographer that he was doing a talk, but that was all sold out. It didn't get in time for the tickets.

Sold out. Sold out. What is he? Olivia Dean? Oh, the mushroom world. Talking about how he takes photos of mushrooms and stuff. Yeah. So there's hundreds of people in mushroom costumes.

Wait, where do you get a mushroom costume? People were making them. I think you make it from scratch home. I don't think look sharp sort of ready to go funny guy. Did they? There was a couple of people, an inflatable mushroom. You know, the inflatable T-Rex put in an inflatable mushroom thing. It was so cute.

Their heads were popped out. Oh, inflatable thing walking around. Okay, that's pretty cute. People dress up as like fairies and like gnomes and stuff. It was very whimsical. How great. Very whimsical. Then, is this an annual event?

I think after the success of this mushroom festival. Pass off, it's annual. It will be. Oh, great. I can't imagine it not being. Okay. We simply must go next time. Yeah, it was K-road of yesterday year.

Yeah, beautiful. It was buzzing. Okay. It was buzzing. And then, just, I didn't know, happened to be on this exact weekend. It was also the opening of the, and have a look through at the Karanga Hape station for the CRL.

Oh, yeah, the new train station. So I walked up to the, I didn't have, I didn't book, pre-book tickets. Because you meant to get tickets. Yeah, you meant to get it, apply for the tickets. And I saw our friend Kate, who took us on the trains that day. She's like, do you want a VIP pass? I'm like, silly question. So then I get to sit in the brand new train station.

Dressed as a mushroom? I wasn't dressed as a mushroom. Full of a river. But there were mushrooms in the station. That's where the mushroom parade was. I sat and watched the mushroom parade. The videos are so brilliant. If you haven't seen them online,

all the mushrooms coming down, the escalators? Yeah, brilliant. It was so funny. Here's a minute-long video of people dressed as mushrooms. Look. Oh my goodness. Look at them. So many people.

What are these mushrooms? Dressed as mushrooms. Oh, my God, fun. A festival that was very niche. Got such a massive turnout of people dressed up. So then we had a look for. through that station and that really, that was nice and clean. If we could keep that claim, that'd be nice.

Friend of the show, Councillor Richard Hills. Good morning, Richard. It was done in partnership with the Corona Happy Road business arse. Association. Oh, yeah. Yeah. As a woman who's performed at the old folks ass. Yeah.

That's just down the road. That's just down the road. Yeah. Well, good from the association. Good from the association. Really good from the ass, actually. Yeah. Mushrooms.

Who knew? Mushrooms and trains. You can see I was just like, I was like, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle of the tisms. Oh, wow. Love that. Did you say, did you eat mushrooms at the fest with their things? Yeah, I had a little mushroom thing.

Like a little, um, what was it? I might do some garlicy ones in the bar. Creamy mushrooms. Was it creamy mushrooms? Tangy? A kin to patte. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A pin to pat. Okay. Like a, um. Well, you've sold me on next year. Tuponage. Oh, dude. Next year I say we make mushroom costumes. Yeah, I'm in. I ought to go with the blue one from the note.

Yeah, but tiny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of the celebrity of the mushroom world. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The blue one from the note. I'm going to have lights, I'm going to put lights on. I'm going to go as a toad still. Toadstool.

Yeah, I'll go as a toad still. That's very whimsical. I'm out of the button. Okay, sort of a standard button. With dirt, well, you have a little bits of dirt on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eat it. It makes you strong.

Just grab handfuls of me and chucked me in a brown paper bag at the supermarket. Let's go. Eat me out. Love that. Maybe I'll go on this the brown paper bag from the supermarket. That'd be really good at you. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flashhorn and Haley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Haidoo do do do do do do do do do do do. To do do do do do do do do do. Hayden sent me a meme over the weekend. Did he now? Typical Hayden. Oh, like Panetteer. Yeah.

The only female Hayden we've ever known. And I look back through the sort of memes that Hayden forwards me on Instagram and they're all of a certain ilk niche. Right. Like the last three, I've been like, what? And I've had to Google it. And then I find it very funny. I like that.

You've got to put a bit of work into finding it. So the one she sent me... Well, pretty just shows you're a bit dumb, doesn't it? But thick as picture. Of course, you know who E.R. Nassia is. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I was literally just reading their book. Right.

On the way here. Yep. Their book was... So embarrassing, you don't know. Oh, my God. Their book... Aianna Sia. You're joking, right?

A copper merchant. A copper merchant. An ancient Mesopotamia. Methantonia. Metopotonia. Which Mesopotamia is modern-day... Of course, yeah. Of course.

It's so shame. He doesn't know. I'm going to have asked me. I like a way better one or not. How Flesh said Tommy Tippy. Jesus, Moinesville. I like it. Lawrenceville's showing.

That's Bertone. Yeah. So this week is cop a week here at Fact of the Day. And that is because Hayden sent me a meme that is in that, you know, that Star Wars format of when Anakins saying something to Padmay? And she's like, yeah, but blah, blah, blah. And he's like, mm, that you're familiar with that meme format? This one.

No. God, who's dumb now? This one. Oh, you've seen that meme before. Yeah, yeah. That one where they're sitting in the... She's got the last little flower crown on and the hair bun. I've got to say this is already giving big chess week.

Hey, dude, you, this... You wait. This one's up there with chess week. It's not as bad as his calendar, but it's cheesy. It's give it's cheesy. Eianna, sir, was a bronze age copper merchant who lived in Mesopotamian city of Ur. In present day, Iraq.

In 1750 BCE. So, before Christ existed. 2,750 year-odd years ago. He became famous not because he was a king or a warrior, but he received, and it still exists, the first ever written complaint from a customer. Oh, Karen.

It's the world's oldest written complaint from a customer. To whom it may concern? It was written on a clay tablet by a customer named Nani, and Nani accused E. Nani accused E. this year of selling poor quality copper ingots instead of the promised high quality copper

that he said. Is that an Iraqi name for Karen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might be. Nani might be the Iraqi or Mesopotamian, Karen. Modern day, Iran. Modern day. BCE. BCE, of course. Yeah, of course. Now, I then immediately thought, why is copper called copper if we're having a brief look into the history of copper and the oldest written customer complaint in history

that's still in existence is about copper. Well, in ancient Greece, they called Cyprus. You guys been to Cyprus? No. I don't have to. I'd love to. Oh, it looks lovely, doesn't it? It does look beautiful.

They call it Kipros. And then the Latin turned that into Kiprium. And then that got worn down into Kupram, which is why copper is C-U on the element table. I might think why isn't it C-O? Because it's copper, but it was C-U. C-O's already taken. I just wonder why that I write them all out in full.

and save us all the problem. Yeah. And some of them don't even look like, why would that be that? And then Germanics turned cupram into cupa and then the English turned it into copper and now it's copper. So it's one of those ever, it's sort of evolved a little bit by little bit. And you're going to have another four facts about copper. Well, it's still worth a lot of money because I remember I had copper pipes.

Yep. And they got mixed. And then I remember they were laying out on the ground. And my mum said, do you want to keep those? My first house. I want to keep those worth a bit of money. and I got back and the bloody plumber had taken them. So I rang and I was like, don't help yourself.

Excuse you. And they had a little rule. Or he told me there was a little rule. Find his keepers. I was like, this is my property. I bought this copper parts included. Yeah. You only found it because you came onto my property.

In my home. Yeah, that's like walking into the bank and taking their money and be like, well, you know what is it? I got them back and I believe they sat under the house and when I sold the house, I left them there. I don't know how to sell copper. We got a treasure.

Will you take it to the scrapies? Yeah, no, I didn't. I forgot. Oh, that's where you want to take it. But that plumber who took them didn't get them and that's what counts. If I can't have them, no one can. We'll know whoever bought your house technically. Can we get an address on that house in case someone's in the area or in?

No, actually. No, I was like, because they're all people going under the house. I was about saying it. Yeah. Fediston, I've got my eye on you. Today's fact of the day and the first in Copper Week is that the world's oldest written customer complaint is about poor quality copper. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Do do-do-da-da-da-da-do-dood-dood-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-l. We want to know what was the unruly behaviour you witnessed over the weekend. Perhaps it was you, and you witnessed it in the mirror. But yesterday, I mean, I mean, my was not as bad as Vaughns. But I was on a flight from Nelson to back to Auckland. And there was just a whole family of unrulyness. And I first noticed them when they came on the plane and they had like all their bags over their shoulders.

And they were going smack, smack, smack, smack. What's the setup of this family? All adults. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. They had an air of God, man, we had a big night last night. Right.

They were, every single bag, woof, woof, into people's heads. Like this. And then I was like, oh my God, you know, who's making this? Next one came along, smack, smack, smack. And I was like, Jesus, watch it. And then on the plane, they were just causing a muck. They were really rude to the flight attendants. And then one of them spews up in a bag.

One of them moved seats in front of me into an empty seat and slammed and was just like kicking the thing. And I was like, oh my God. I was like, this is unruly behavior. So I said to you guys, God, I saw some unruly behavior this weekend. And Vaughn said, did you? Did you, Hayley? I had to, by the way, I'll be surprised if there's not some unruly behaviour at, um,

and we're going to talk about this soon on the show at Woolworth's because bloody Oshies. Anyway, I was going to the supermarket yesterday, going to Woolworth specifically for the Oshies. Oh yeah. Because they've totally got me on the Oshies. And I take the back roads because the way I usually come in, it's always shocking at the weekend, too much traffic. So I'm weaving my way through West Auckland. Massey to be specific. I'm going along Don Buck Road

I know it And I'm going past bus stop 5576 How do you know the bus stop numbers Are you that autistic? Yeah No, I just looked it up I looked it up Because my children don't believe this happened

There's a bit of them that was just like I don't believe this happened I was like I will 100% drive you back there And show you As I'm getting close to the bus stop I see somebody with their bags on the seats And I think that's a lot of bags Yeah

For someone catching a bus to somewhere else in the city But you know And then the person like kind of squats down behind them. And I think, oh, they're getting out of the way of the wind. It was a little bit cold, the cold wind and stuff. It was getting out of the way of the wind. And as I go past, I kind of like, look, traffic's going into a slow

because I'm going into the Fred Taylor Road roundabout. Really painted a picture for the locals here. Thank you. Slowing right down and I look across. And that's when I see this woman is just urinating. Oh, she's down low. She's having a pop of a spot. She's sweating behind her back.

She is urinating hard. It's already running down the footpath. Oh, really urinating. And as I'm looking, might catch eyes with her and I'm like her. Like I have a bit of a shop look on my face and that's when the poo came out. No. Why she

eyeballed you? She labeled me like the last time when you see a dog. Like when your dog looks at you and he's like I'm at my most vulnerable watch my back. Daddy. And she looked at me and she didn't have that same sort of look and that's when that came out.

This is why I don't go to Westall. And I was like, oh no. I say that like I've never seen people do this in downtown. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally weekly. I was like, oh, I sort of was going to give her a bit of a pass because, like, when you need to pee, you need a pee.

And women, we have to go down. We've got to go down, but the poop. There was within Kui of the bus stop, too, the odd bush that could have been snuck into. Right. Find a bush. Some trees that could be snuck into. She didn't care, though, did she?

She wasn't really. Too fast about it, so. That's what we want to know at the weekend. Or did you witness? Some humans behind. badly. Yeah. Out there.

Maybe you were the human behaving badly. Maybe you've got a sort of a confession to make a behavior on the weekend. I don't know if we're going to beat these stories, though, to be honest. Man. I just shut my eyes. I see it every time. Yeah. You might need some kind of therapy to get over this?

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Okay, 0800-9-6-96. What is the bad behavior you've seen from humanity lately? I can confirm that story. I saw it. They saw the aftermath. Oh.

They saw the aftermath. 209 saw the aftermath. I'm sorry, you had to go through that. That's joint trauma. That's shared trauma as a community. Yeah. Oh, someone said I saw some poor behaviour. Speaking of, or she's, which we're going to be touching on again.

I'll say it. We're touching on soon on the show. Someone absolutely letting the poor countdown checkout girl have it. Oh. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. I've got some oshies in my car.

This is probably the biggest issue facing the nation right now. Or she's. Or she's. and an election year as well. It's good to remember the important things. Somebody else said, oh, they saw some terrible humanity that were enjoying the winter botanical gardens.

Now the winter, that's the hardest. Those are the hardest months. They have a beautiful botanical garden. Yeah, it is. And someone was stealing the flowers. Can I combat that with a nice story? I saw some wild daffodals growing on the side of the road, and there was a lovely boy in a teenage uniform,

like a teenager picking them. I was like, that's for his mom or his girlfriend. boyfriend. No, we should have left them there. Those were planted by the council. No, no, no, no. They were like weird kind of like sprouting in the middle of nowhere. The bulbs, they had to get put there.

Nah, no, no, no. It was cute. I was stealing somebody's flowers. No, he was getting them for someone. Some man might have planted that bum. Bunch of Diff, it was for his dead wife. No, well, he's gone, taking them home for his mum and saying, I love you. Someone said I saw a woman taking a dump behind a power box in Napier two weeks ago.

So, okay, so you're not alone there. I was in the hut, which is the West Auckland of Wellington. That's a nice thank you for putting that into context My neighbours were playing 80s bangers on repeat till 2 in the morning I went over to complain as they were keeping my kids awake The wall of booze hit me like a truck when they opened the door The mad bastards But 80s bangers, you know

They'd sort of roll on Yeah, when you're just like oh god I love this one One more, hang on one more one more Oh so Amy's message and she two at the weekend made contact with someone defecating in the public They were in the pack and save park car park They'd even left a pile of toilet paper Now if you've got the wherewithal to have toilet paper with you Find yourself a better place to do it

Someone message in saying they went to a show in Nelson on Saturday night And the lady got naked on stage And she said lips and all were out Disgusting behaviour Actually another complaint there is crass as F comedian in Nelson and I said that's Unbelievable When I took off my clothes at the end I did jutter leg And I think the front row did get a hull la la la

Matt Matt joins us good morning Matt Good morning how are you this morning Really good. All right. Now, what is the unruly behaviour you've seen recently? Well, look, it wasn't me, but I did get to witness it. It was over the weekend, there was a whole line of traffic.

And after we finally got towards the front, found out why there was a group of cyclists blocking whole lane. Riding four abreast across one lane. Which, I mean, I respect them, but come on, guys. Not four abreast, we don't. Not for a breath, not for a breast. Single file. Much like the female chest, two abreast. Two abreast max.

Two abreast max. Yeah, but even in like traffic, if there's not enough room, one abreast. One abreast. I'll also apologize to our three-tidd listeners. Because I've just said they're like a female chest, two of rest. But, you know, I'm not including everybody there. Matt, no, you know. I do apologize.

Did you give them a scowl as you went past? Well, no, no. So the car in front of me actually pulled in front of them and matched their speed. And then they just hosed them down with their washes. They just kept their wifers going. Dirty pie. Dirty play. Dirty play. Hose them with the washes.

Dirty play. Oh my God, that's dirty play. Dirty play. Thank you, Matt. Keep your text coming in. 966, 0800,000. The bad behaviour you've witnessed recently. Deplorable humanity. Oh.

I work for a rental car company, says Jordan. Yesterday while cleaning one of the cars, I found a soiled G-banger under one of the seats. There's not a lot of material there to soil. It must have been really noticeable for Jordan to be like, that's soiled. You must wear gloves when you can clean the cars, right? I don't. I mean, every woman knows.

You do put in a... spare pair of undies in the car for any reason, but, yeah, we just like to imagine someone's halfway back to, I don't know, somewhere on their plane, yeah, about to land into Singapore and they're like, oh, yeah. I left those in the car. Oh God,

I just put on a fresh set of undies and I've left that under night and that car's getting groomed. Oh, gosh. Shane says there was a group of slaughtered colleagues on the town in Hamilton on Friday night. One chick was so wasted, she latched on to a homosexual couple and loudly

begged to suck their gay away. I will remind you, she was saying this in front of everyone she works with. What? She called in sick today, eh? That's what she said, she'll be a sheepish Monday at work, I'm imagining.

I don't fit. Oh my gosh. I don't know if that's how it works. I thought we used to pray the gay away and now it's getting straight women to suck it away. This is desperate time. It's called for desperate.

Yeah Well I guess I year Coming back from the Stags game Invercago You said a van load of people Who had been to the game Stopped on the north side Of Balclother to relieve themselves

And probably the most exposed place They've been nothing like seeing six people Line up pissing on each other's shoes Oh Oh was it windy Was it windy And someone hadn't allowed for it Yeah

We've had three toilet seats stolen in two weeks And someone dismantled the under sink pipes To shower under the house that we're building In our waiting room What? Somebody said. What's the one? Weird, okay.

What are you going to do with the toilet seat? Just put it, I mean, it does make anything a toilet, doesn't it? It makes a box a toilet. It does, yes. It makes a plant, pot, a toilet. I guess so. Hey guys, I was sitting in the car park at a grocery store recently, and a guy was standing there looking very shady. He slowly stuck his hand down the back of his pants and started pounding his butt because it was itchy.

I mean, he's really got a town on his butt to make things worse. He pulled his hand out. Oh, I don't know. He didn't sniff it. And took a lung full and snip the crap out of his fingers. It was disgusting. Cheers guys from Lyle. Lyle!

Lyle! Really just... You know what you're going to get right in the nose. It's so itchy. That was pros. What Lyle did say. Pooh. What Lyle did say was really painted a picture, didn't it?

I did. It was beautiful. That's what we call Theodore of the Mine. Lyle, if this is fifth form English, I'd be giving you a big fat tick. It took a lungful. And sniff the crap out of this vein. It was a real.

It was a real sniff. There's a pun in there too. Had some crackheads doing wheelies on a dirt bike in the park right by my house at 3.40 a.m. Sunday morning deplorable behavior from Chris. They made a right mess of the park. I was saying the other day I feel like wheelies are back. I've seen lots of wheelies.

Hey, so many wheelies. I don't think they ever left, Haley. Oh, did they? Weillies. What are you calling it? Wheelies are back. Babe, mark my words. You're talking wheelies a bag.

Donuts. No, no, no, no, wheelies. Oh, like, pop on the back legs. Yeah, pop on a wheelie. Pop on a wheelie's back. I've just really noticed wheelies. Oh, yeah, because the bike gangs. The bike gangs are doing their thing.

We've been seeing them around. You know, I'm just happy they're cycling, you know? I'm just happy they're cycling. Me too. I'm just happy to see some people doing some, you know, like cardio. Getting out there. Yeah. So, my Mr. General.

Oh, I saw a guy once do the same thing. Scratch and look to the heavens with delight. As he took a big lung full of a fingers fingers. Just Yeah, poo. Brilliant stuff. Pooh.

The Zat M Podcast Network Play ZEM's Fletchhorn and Haley. So silly, silly, silly that's silly. Silly little poll today is if you're given a president at a party, when do you open it? So I saw this at dinner. I was out with friends at

lovely Fifth Street in Christchurch. Oh, how was it, darling? Oh, darling. Did you get the beef? Did you get the stage? Yes, of course we did, of course we did. You get potatoes? Darling, what I said you get?

Darling, did just skip over water. Actually, darling, we got no photos. You should we get a photo? Oh, you were we were just having a lovely old chat. Who is we? Our friends, Mike and Alice. Hmm. Yeah.

We're your fifth red friends. I know, darling. We'd go to fifth street together. Okay, so when we were there, there was a group sitting at like another table, and it was obviously her birthday, and everyone had brought this woman presents. Crazy. We don't do that.

I would say would have been like half a meter wide. Like a proper box. Like a big box. And she was opening them all at dinner. And I said to my friends, I was like, do you think that's weird? Like, wouldn't you just put them in a pile

and take them home and open them later? And then I message them and say thank you. Because I wouldn't want to, it's the mess. And also the, I don't, do you find it awkward and someone opens your president

in front of a group? Like other people will judge what you've got. Yeah. And I feel like there's no way to give a genuine response. Like, even if I love it, I'm like, it feels, Yeah, yeah, feels performative.

Yeah, yeah. I love them. And what if someone's dropped 250 bucks and someone else has just dropped 50? I know. And you're like, I don't care. I'm an adult. And then there's me who got there with no present

and I'm just like, oh my God. But then I was thinking if you get something that's amazing and so thoughtful, you want to see their reaction. You want them to open it. So I was a bit torn myself. Open it now, yeah, yeah. I would be more, and I voted for,

I wouldn't open in public. I'd just wait until I got home. Yeah, I would do the same. Those are the two options. If you're given a president of a party, when do you open it? Immediately in front of everyone. Or wait until everyone's left and open it then. Yeah.

68% of people said that they would wait till everyone's left and then open it. 32% saying immediately in front of everyone. Okay. Okay. Jess said, is there anything more painful than watching a pregnant mom open the sixth pack of facecloths and going, oh my God, this is so cute. Oh, your baby shower gap. Baby showers.

Yep. I ask what they prefer and do it as part of their preference. Oh, okay. So this person, Samantha's thing, would you like me to open it now or would you be happy for me to open it later? Oh, yeah. Shall I open it now? If you want.

Shall I open it now? It's a good. Yeah. Yeah. If you want, if you want to say you don't have to open it later. Because it's a giver if you are like that, we're like, I have, I've nailed this. Shall I open it now? Or you go on?

Yep. I'm proud. Emily said, under 16, yes, open in front of everyone. Over 16, that shit's awkward. Just open it later when no one's around. Yep. Yeah, kids open in front. We did do a, oh, it's different though.

We did like a midwinter's Christmas recently with a bunch of friends That's right you stole a tree On the way there And the secret Santa thing happened The opening of the presents We did one at a time So everybody got to watch OnePus

It was so much fun Like actual Christmas Yeah it's pop's turn Yeah yeah your turn And my pop used to have a pie Oh no no no no I'm waiting Yeah I'll wait right till the end Tripti said

I can't trust my facial expressions I show what I feel So if it's not a good present I'm gonna let everyone at all Okay open it at home Personally, he says Amy, as a person who spends a lot of time selecting presents, I want to see their joy when they open it. So I offer the same opportunity.

So I am offered the same opportunity of joy. It's not the gift, but the act of giving the gift that's important. It says, I took time to think about you and I care about you. Unless it's a voucher. I love vouchers. They're cold. They're heartless. They're thoughtless.

But they're not if that's what you want. Because you're hard to buy for because if you want anything, you just buy it for yourself. But I'm not going to go, oh my God. A $50 pressie card, thank you. Oh my God, what the hell? Michael said literally just had my five-year-old's birthday today. Took everything home to open because we couldn't be bothered faffing around with the rubbish

and taking people's time. No, kids have got open presents. Go and say thank you to Auntie Haley. But if you were having a location birthday, like what do you do with all the wrapping and boxes and stuff? Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah. It's something to look forward to after everyone's gone

because I get sad when the party's overseas. is Janet. Oh, Janet. She gets sad when the party's over. Aw. Hey, they made me feel good with a gift. I'm going to open that and make them feel good with my reaction, she's Sean. No, Sean's putting on a show.

Yeah. I open it after because I don't want others who didn't bring a gift to feel bad. And also, it's a lot of pressure to give the right reaction in front of everyone. I always send the gift to give her a message as soon as I open it to thank. See, that is the etiquette for me. That's the way to do it. Same. But also the etiquette in general, we agree right as friends.

We're not doing gifts. No, it's same. We're grown-ups. Yeah. Yeah. Like if we go out for drinks, pay or whatever, but that's, like, gifts are food. Let's revisit that not giving gifts. I don't know, mid-October's good with me.

I think, yeah. No. We'll wait until your birthday's done. Let's get my birthday out and then we'll implement no gifts. No, then we get back on the gifts. No, no, no, we're not doing gifts. So I'm travelling for work for my birthday and I want gifts. Yeah, stop around July.

I reckon we stop pre-June. You want to stop before and that's the winter months. If anything the spring and summer is the other-giving month. I'll take a gift. February 1. We'll be peak, no doubt, and then we can't. We'll explain the gifts again. I think gifts for boys.

We're not doing boys' gifts. Girls like gifts. Boys like gifts too. I don't use your gender things, but girls like it. If you'll get a silly little poll today is if you're given a president of party, when do you open it? 68% of you will wait to everyone's left and open it then. Play Zatems, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

Oh she's. These little rubbery initially pencil toppers, themed Disney being given away at the supermarket's, has the nation and a stranglehold. Not one of those hot ones where you're just to like, it's like a real... Vaughan, you said that out loud. You know, just was a little bit of a spicy.

Hot, a little bit of... We go to 10 a.m. now. Oh, right. We're not in our private Fletchfall in Haley time. The kids are a... Should be at school, so this won't need any explanation. But the Orshies have got us like, oh, daddy. And everyone's going, crap.

I said, I'm not getting involved. Boy, am I involved. Everyone's saying stomp, Vaughn. Are they... Everyone's saying stomp. Yeah, but that's when they're saying stomp. Juicer Girlies, they're a bit active thing. Yeah, that's when you stop.

Okay. So, you're yuck. I'm not yuck. People know what it's going on. Talk about all she's. I've got some of my car for you, by the way. Fantastic. I don't know if they're any good.

Don't know if they're any, well, that's the thing they're in a blind bag. You open it up or have you opened them. I open up. Well, my ones run out, and this is the problem around the country. My two have run out, the two countdowns. Oh, Woolworth. Sorry, I know they spent millions of dollars on the rebrand, and I still call the countdown.

all the time and I do apologize. I've changed. I know we don't do dead names. Yeah, cancelled again. Cancel again. After the Caitlin Jenner thing.

Yeah, I know. Now Countdown. I mean, she killed someone. She's a... Again, that's Caitlin Jenner, not Countdown. Countdown did not kill it there. No, no, no, no, Caitlin Jenner.

Walworth's, though. Is that my... Out of Oshies? A little chick around the room. Out of Oshies? Yes. I don't know. You don't know.

I actively thought it as an FU. Orwell words out of, are they out of Oshies? Are you, Osceilis? Nah, I got so many last night in, um, what is that? Lincoln Road countdown. Oh, yeah. The big countdown. They'd have a nicely stop.

The one that literally moved in over the road from Pakensaber and was like, yeah. Yeah. And honestly, it's a much better experience than the Pakensaf because I get stressed out on that Pankton Save. Do you know it was crazy? I was in Australia over the weekend. Oh, here we go. This is my Bali.

This is my Bali. Travel so work. No, but one of the girls, so I made a best friend over there and she said... Wow, right, you've Carmen took on this personally. God your friend down and bloody police is up soon. No, no, my best friend in Australia. No, no, first she doesn't bring me back any fake ham,

which is my favourite thing about Australia and Elvis. I'm sorry, you wanted fake ham? Yeah, fake-shaped ham. You can't bring that back into the country. You can't bring that back into New Zealand. I would have got bloody dogged. But no, do you know what? Shannon, that's not...

She's not going to get a dog. Someone would call it. Sure, she's learning. She's learning, no. What is that mean? Did I do... You would have got that. Yeah, I don't say you got you.

You would have got a dog. No, what I was going to say is my friend I made in Australia. She said, do you know what an Ushy is? And I said, yes. She said, if you go to Woolworths, can you please collect me some? Excuse you. She was like, she, like, inhibited me. What?

She what? Inhamitated you? I think I'm a bit tired. Intimidated? Yeah, oh, that's Jetlag, hon. Is that Jetlag from your Australian trip? Too Jane. Because I've finished with issues over there, right?

No, they still have them. Oh, I thought they always got a little bit ahead of us, and then we got the next. No, but do you know that every day rewards are vouchers, only $10? So, like, take that. Suck it. What's our overall? Our dollars are 85 cents, so suck it. Way better living and everything's way better, but don't worry about it.

Suck it. We get more vouchers and more worth. I want to know, quick 9-6-9-6 is your role. Willie's got ushies. Do you want, are there particular ones? No, I just want them. I just want them. I just want the bag. You're sure.

It's not just yours and mine that have run out of everywhere. I've heard from my few friends that are like, I said to the girl yesterday, I said to the, can I keep this receipt and come back when you've got Oshies to claim the Oshies? And like, I'm 44, and I guess the girl on the checkout would have been 17. And she just looked at me like, grow up. Get a lie? Why don't try having sex loser? No. Is that what she said?

She went like that. She goes, no. I was like, oh my God. I'm, and it was one of those. I was just like, oh no, I shouldn't have asked that. Yeah. Really made me doubt myself. She had a real mean girl energy.

Yeah, right. Really made me question everything. She's like, ooh, this man never seen boobs. Yeah, yeah. Look, this loser. That's pretty what she thought. Okay, well, I mean, your tents has none. But here's the problem, 191, you've got to say where you are.

Oh, yeah. Okay, well, a quick check around the country. 9-6-9-6. And all she check. And all she checks. Does your supermarket have, or she's? Calston Woolworth's had some yesterday. And today, so you're going to go to the gym afterwards.

or whatever and then you're just going to traips around getting Oshies. Yeah. Based on this map. You know people have been... You know people have been using them for fishing lures. Yes. That guy put that massive fish using the R2D2 one

because it sparkles and it soft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the little flight. Yeah, yeah, cool. Okay. Hamilton CBD has some oshies. Well, there you go. Ambly North Canterbury Oshies.

Silverdale's got issues. What does it tell you about where you live then? Someone was too heavy-handed with them at the start of the promo. You reckon they're chubbing out of willy-nilly. Play Z-N. Fletch for them. So my message, now, you live in QMU. You should have gone to the QMU markets yesterday.

They had an Oshie swap table. What? There are market swapping Oshies? Yeah. Okay. The lady of the supermarket, the other week, told me that the most, she said, I've worked at a supermarket for 25 years. The craziest I ever saw it was the Oshie Trading Day.

I said, are you comparing this to other trading days? Because I know whenever there's the kids targeted collectibles, the supermarkets, they have the trading days, and they get a bit feral. Right. She's like above and beyond any other trading day, I've witnessed. Wow. Because schools have banned them.

Because of the trading and the bullying and the, you know, I lost all my ushies to do. So my supermarket ran out of them. Yours did void. Multiple St. Luke's, I've just been, just been to St. Luke's. I'm one of St. Luke's mall today. Do you want me to have a little look? Oh, they're out. They're out.

They're out of ushies. I was going to book up a chicken and buns. It feels like that today. Chook and buns. Yeah. You're going to do a rotissory. Don't spend the money on the more. expensive coleslaw.

No, I'm getting the basic one. The cheapest coleslaw tastes like KFC's coleslaw. Yeah, no, I'm doing chookslaw and buns. Okay. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. That's good. That's a pack of buns.

I might get cheese buns and bacon on top, but I'm not sure. Never enough bacon on the cheese and bacon buns. Yeah, it's like a big. It's like a bigger. Yeah. And I also think some of it, just cubed ham. Is she quite right? Yeah.

I don't want to be part of a huge expose. It is cubed ham. Patty Gowell has got issues this week. He's actually dealing with if it's bacon or ham on the top of supermarket box. Or is it just cubed ham? It's 100% cubed ham. It's given cubed ham. Someone said, Popa, both Woolworths currently have ooshees.

Oh, well, that's fend. It would. Somebody said, they went to... Get it's a car today. You could get back in time. Also, why are you asking... Why are you using this platform on ear to ask... Abusing? Not using, abusing.

Why? What did you want to erase money for charity? Well, we're doing that, so... You're doing the ANZ don't say. We are doing that. We are doing that same. But why aren't you doing, why aren't you just asking listeners for the ushies you don't have? Yeah, which ones don't you? Which ones don't you go?

I've got some of my car. I don't know. I'll take a photo when I get home today. That seems just me looking after myself. This is sort of an awareness, a PSA, if you will. Right. So I said, I went to Bayfield Woolies at Mount Monganui last week. They said no more ushies.

And they said, we're not getting any more. I asked, can I keep the receipts in case you do get some more? And there was a strong frowning. I was told no. And I know it's interesting. Now my mum went yesterday and they gave her some and they said, we do have a few in reserves, but we're not offering them.

You have to ask one. Oh, God, they're picking and choosing. They're picking and choosing. What? It's Ushy elite. Yeah. Oshy elite, yeah. It's the Oshy class system.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe you didn't look like an Oshy part-tide. It's Oshy part-time. I don't want to cheapen a part-time. Yeah, I reckon don't. It feels like Oshy Part-Tide. Now, someone said fresh choice, if you popped into a fresh choice, under a millionaire.

I'm not doing my super. market shop I got a fresh choice? It's always more expensive. Could you take your willies receipts to fresh choice and get your Ushies? I doubt it. No, that's just. They're going to run that through head office. Cambridge Woolworth's out.

Yeah, then my sister told me Cambridge Woolworths was out. Christchurch Wollies and Fresh Choices actually have sections set up for swapping. That's nice. Sort of a full-time swap situation. Okay. Yeah. Why do you pronounce Ushy like that? How I shouldn't it be pronounced?

Ush. Oh shit. He's got two O's. Oshy. Oushi? Oshies. Oshis. I don't know.

Have you been saying it wrong this whole time? Oush. I don't know. Well, I do apologise to whoever's culture of my offended by pronouncing. The Oushies. Oh my goshis. You can say Topol but you can't say Oshy. It's reversed racism, Leighton.

Someone said they have so many spare Ushis if you'd like them. What do you need? Happy for you to have them. Yeah, I think you've got to just get on. I will actually do that. Instagram minutes. No, can't be bothered with that. Too many messages.

Anthony said how long has this conversation been going for? So we'll move on. We'll move on. We'll move on, Anthony. Shut up, Anthony. Shut up. Play's A-Z-M's, Flesh, Fawn and Haley. Actually, Fletch, I said before those songs that this wouldn't work for you because you like to listen to your books.

You don't read. Well, audio books is reading. That's right. At Fletch listens, if you want to keep up with his book reviews, of which so far there are none, just pictures of him listening. Actually, I haven't read a lot of books lately. Yeah, yeah. But if there's one good that knows books, it's at Carwin, right, it's producer Carwin, loves her books.

Hello, hello. Got engaged in a bookstore, that's how much. She does. I finally got to walk past it the other day. God, it's gorgeous. Isn't it the most beautiful store? Anam of Books if you're in Auckland? Sorry, no, she didn't get engaged to a book.

Oh, okay, right. Sorry, I just saw the book shop. He proposed in the book store. Oh, men. So the man that was present. 2026. Well, you know, needs must, you know. Needs must, you know what I mean.

So, here's a hand. that you can use, whether you're listening or you're reading, plane hack. You know, sometimes I find this, the idea of getting into a book feels a bit overwhelming. And you're like, oh, God, and you're, we're the TikTok generation of bloody, you know, short attention spans and everything. You've got this book. You want to allocate some time to reading it. What you do is you go on flight radar. Now, this is where I think you're going to enjoy this, Fletch, because you love.

Vaughn's got the sap too. Flight radar. If you see a plane flying over, you can be like, I wonder where that is going. And you can lock. No, before, no, you've got to make a guess. Make a guess. You've got to guess what kind of plane it is and then the airline and where it's going. The cool game.

I'm having sex while you're doing that. But anyway, that's fine. Well, no, I just have sex after and before I played that game. Oh, okay. Before after and, sometimes during. I'm not having sex until NZ6 arrives. That's fair. So go on your flight radar.

I've got eyes on NZ-145 heading to Brisbane. Okay, so you've got to say that to your flight. It's a dream lighter. Okay. it's better than sex. Okay. Can you clean up the mess you just made under the desk? So you go on flight radar

and you know you can get the world map and it will show you all the planes in the sky at that moment. It's really cool. You're like holy shit, everyone's in the air right now. You're going to turn it away from you whether in a laptop or a phone. You're going to go randomly like this and you're going to select one. There's your flight path.

You're going to find out how long it is, how long it's got to go and that's how long you're reading for like you're on the plane. Because you'll find this on there. Okay. When you're on a plane and this, There's nothing to do in your movie list is exhausted. That's the best time to read a book.

It's my favorite time to read a book, and I think it's probably the only time I can sit down and read an entire book in one session. Nothing can bug me. And I'm trying to focus on the fact that the plane could crash any women. What if you click on one of these flights, it's one of the longest, you know, like you get in Auckland to New York and it's got 16 hours left.

Yeah, it's fun. Sit the hell down. We read them. Well, you just keep... I fall asleep. I fall asleep. But that's nice. No, because you never get to read anything.

I don't know how you read Cohen working these hours. The minute I'm looking at a book, I'm like, but that's good for going to bed. Because I don't do it before bed. Right. It's my few hours in the middle of the day where people are calling me and texting me and emailing me, but I just like ignore them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it is good. How good is ignoring people. Especially when they want something. Want, want, want. You know what I want? I want you. Leave me alone. Yeah, I'm big leave me alone today.

But I think I'm getting your rotissory chock and your buns. I'm going to get a chicken and a massage. I'm going home, I'm going to read a book. 966.96, is there enough bacon bits on supermarket buns? And do you believe 966 follow up that it's not bacon? It's just a cubed ham. It's old cube ham. Old cube ham too.

Can't put that in the cabinet. Oh, I'm busting for a ways after that podcast. I'll tell you. It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you wait. There's no rules on when and we We're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze.

I read it, okay? I read it. Give us a review. Play ZDM's Fletchhorn and Haley.