ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 17th June 2024

Episode Date: June 16, 2024

Tolyamory  Top 6: Mr Beast in NZ  Producer Jared has a Surprise Reveal!  What are you and your Partner currently fighting about?Hayleys Gig!  Vaughan Won.  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. Happy Monday. Happy Monday guys.

Feeling refreshed and wetty for a great week. Wetty for a week. Wetty for a great week. That was truly a mistake. So apparently Mr Beast is in New Zealand. Spotted having dinner in Auckland. Famous YouTuber. Over the weekend.

Yeah. And spotted in Hamilton, your hometown. How embarrassing. I think he was just checking out his chocolate display at the countdown. Oh, yeah. I hope he has Whittaker's and realises how bad his chocolate is. It's not great. It's not very young.

He really prides himself in saying it's only got five ingredients. And I was like, I reckon chuck a few more in. Maybe ten. Yeah. Have you tried putting cream in? Have you tried putting some nice stuff in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the top six soon.

Yeah, the top six things Mr Beast is doing in New Zealand because he'll have something planned, won't he? Oh, no doubt. I'm looking forward to the vid. Yeah, there'll be a Mr Beast is doing in New Zealand. Because he'll have something planned, won't he? Oh, no doubt. No doubt. I'm looking forward to the vid. Yeah, there'll be a big vid. Big vid. Not COVID, which was the previous big vid.

Oh, now it feels like it's set. Now I've cursed myself. I'll get COVID this week because I said I'm looking forward to it. I need to get my booster. I thought you'd done that. Oh, my God. Am I too late? No.

Okay, today. Do it today. Because you've got holidays soon. Yeah. Don't want to be sick. Don I too late? No. Okay, today. Do it today. Because you've got holidays soon. Yeah. Don't want to be sick. Don't want to be suck. On the way, there is a new rise, and I've never heard of this. Tolliamory.

Tolliamory. There's polliamory. We know all about polliamory and monogamy. Yeah. But tolliamory. I'm going to tell you what tolliamory is. Is it anything to do with toll roads? Yeah.

That's what it is. Couples that love paying for tolls. Couples that frequent toll you what Tolliamory is. Is it anything to do with toll roads? Yeah, that's what it is. Couples that love paying for tolls. Couples that frequent toll roads. Toll roads, okay. And paying for them just gets them off. Gets them all excited. Next though, our bank has fired a bunch of workers for doing something that I'm going to say

a lot of people do working from home. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, I forgot to mention just moments ago, but five on time, the jackpot, $12,500. So it is going up fast. Your chance to play. And furious.

And it's going up fast and furious. Tokyo Drift. It's going up Tokyo Drift. Your chance to win that $12,500 at 8 o'clock this morning. Now, one of the world's biggest banks has fired a bunch of workers because they discovered that they were working from home and jiggling the mouse. Which was very popular in the lockdown times. Well, a lot of people still doing a couple of days working from home

or some workplaces even the whole week. Get in the workplace. Now, this investigation found that workers were simulating keyboard activity. Because you can buy things. There was a thing you could buy, yeah. You put your mouse on and it moved. Get it from Teemu. Yeah. A couple of bucks and it would just jiggle the mouse.

When I was in Australia out with a friend and he'd kind of skipped working from home or work and was just opening up Teams on his phone and just checking in and leaving it open to be active. So bad. He was still like checking messages and stuff. Does it show, having never used Teams, not even once, does it show how long it's been since you've been on Teams? I don't know.

I don't know whether or not he was liking me. Yeah, like on Facebook Messenger, an hour ago, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I don't know. Get to work. Do you know what I mean? Get to work? Just get to work.

Is that the motivational? Do you mean go into work? Yeah. Yeah. I think I would. But then, I don't know. People pay a lot of money for car parking, for public transport. I don't understand.

Fuel. Like, some people love it. Absolutely don't get into work. And they shouldn't worry if you're jiggling your mouse every two minutes. At the end of the week, it's your work done. And if it's not, then you kick up the ass. That's your philosophy when you leave here at five past nine. I've got my work done. The work was done. I've got my work done. The work was done. I'm out of here. Don't give up the arse. That's your philosophy when you leave here at five past nine. I've got my work done.

The work was done. I've got my work done. The work was done. I'm out of here. Don't give me the stink eye. Work's done. Work's done. Who's up?

You can stay till whatever time you want other radio shows. I'm leaving here at five past nine. It is nice to walk past them all when we go in the lift. Sayonara. The work was done. See you, Hidz.

See you, Horaki. The work is done. We wave to them so they know we're going to work too. We're often laughing. Yeah. We're doing malarkey on the way out of work. Or I stop the malarkey the minute I get in my car though

because I'm off the clock. Right. I think just for me as a social butterfly, if I was in the office, I'd prefer to go. I would just hate. And working from home was, I don't know, such a misery.

Yeah. But then we have five different jobs than most people. So it's hard for us to. We've got almost sort of a frivolous, silly job. It's unbelievable we get paid to do this. It's actually a joke. Hang out with your mates and talk. I'm making money as we speak.

Just for that. So articulate. Also rich of banks in this time of excess profits to be like, these people aren't working hard enough. Yeah. We could have made $8 billion. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We're not polyamorous.

So polyamory is when you, it's bigger than an open relationship in which you can sleep with other people. Polyamory is when you can maintain multiple emotional and physical relationships at the same time. I don't know how anybody does this. So you could have a couple of boyfriends and girlfriends. Yeah. Or whatever friends, you know.

It's just a lot of work, isn't it? A lot of admin. Like one's enough. Just cheat on them like a normal person. Do you know what I mean? Just cheat on them like a normal person. Or just be single. Just be normal. like a normal person. Or just be single. Or just be single.

Or just be single. So, polyamory is a little term that's been popping up recently. Okay. And what does it mean? Tolly coming from the word tolerate. So, it's sort of like polyamory is like a fully like you can go and I give my blessing to this and, you know, I wholeheartedly support and agree with this,

you having other relationships. Polyamory is sort of more of a boy, oh boy, we've been married a long time. I'll tolerate your discrepancies, but we'll never talk about it. Oh, that sounds unhealthy. Wait, so just a marriage in the 60s? Any marriage before the 80s? Polyamory combines the words tolerate and polyamory

to describe the dynamic where one or both parties tolerate or put up with others' sexual encounters, turning a blind eye to things like lap dances or brief affairs from time to time during a long marriage. Isn't that wild? So then it's going like, I'm not happy about it. I don't, it's not a conversation I want to have, but I would, I choose instead to focus on all of the good things that you bring to my life and the way that you show your commitment and love to me and I will tolerate the fact that I know

that you're sleeping with someone else. You know that they're sleeping with someone else. Do they say I'm going to sleep with someone else? No. No. We don't talk about it. It sounds very toxic. Yeah.

It sounds, I will tolerate your awful behaviour. Yeah. So they sort of compensate and they tolerate the cheating, I guess. But it's sort of not cheating because they know. But then why not just say? They're not being fooled. That's the thing. If you're being cheated on, you're sort of being fooled

or they're trying to pull one over you. Right. Whereas this is just... Tolerating cheating. Tolerating. So basically tolerating cheating Yeah and they said this despite putting a name to it A lot of people in committed relationships say like

That's cheating But it's toliamory I guess if you Stay And you know it's happening but you tolerate it So it's like it's sort of somewhere In the middle between being cheated on And being completely polyamorous And open to it It just seems like you

should just have the discussion and just make it a lot easier. Yeah, I know. But then people, yeah, okay. You've seen it in movies and stuff, people just being like, I know what he's doing, but I'll just carry on. Yeah, but it's always like Mad Men or something. Yeah, like for the 50s. It's always like a show where

you're like, oh, that's terrible behaviour. Yeah, the 50s, you're right. Well, it's on the rise apparently. A lot of people are talking about it online, that this is another term that's sort of in this realm, polyfidelity. Okay. So infidelity meaning that like that's sort of cheating.

Yeah. But this is a little bit like softer. It's hype of non-monogamy, which refers to a relationship dynamic where all participants agree to limit sexual activities to other people. Wild. Okay. A lot of freaky, get freaky out there, guys.

Up to you, you do what you want. 17 past six. Where do you look for a best friend? In this workplace. And you've found one. I've found two two You've found two Well Some people are looking

A little closer to home Okay This number's significantly Higher than I thought It would be Oh That's cute I look forward to this

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley 58% of people Said Have said That one of their parents Is their best friend Aww

Aww I'm definitely like Good one of their parents is their best friend. Aww. I'm definitely, like, good friends of my parents. It's a different relationship. You're really close with your mum, though, eh? Very close. Like, you would talk every day. Yeah. Not so much in Italy at the moment because they've got terrible Wi-Fi, darling.

Oh. In the village, the Wi-Fi. Why don't they have good Wi-Fi? They need a Starlink, darling. Oh, I see. But then what about their phone? Yes, it's fine. Does their phone have good...

Also, they're busy, darling, soaking up the Italian summer. Ah, yes. They don't have time for their cold, wet daughter. Cold. She's cold. She needs a singlet. She's soaking wet. She's just...

Soaking wet. Just standing in the rain thinking about mummy and daddy. You're still waiting to get picked up from soccer practice. Yeah mummy. And it's raining and they're like oh my god we forgot something darling. Mummy I got home from brownies and you weren't there so I stood out in the rain waiting. Where are you mummy? I've been waiting for 30

years. Oh my god Craig we forgot something. Oh my god darling. We forgot to take the Prosecco out of the freezer. Oh that's what we've forgotten. I knew it was something major. Don't want to leave that in there You want it in the freezer Just to cool it down But if you leave it in there Too long the top will pop

We've all left a can Or a beer Or a wine in the freezer Oh I know I have I've never desired children I've never felt the yearn For a child

But That would be the one thing That I think is cool Is when they become Older and they get to hang out With them and they're friends. Because that's when I started being friends with my parents. Do you know sometimes when people are best friends with their parents,

sometimes it's a bit creepy. Oh, yeah. It's a bit, but there's no boundary there. If I said to my mum, you're one of my best friends, she'd say, that's a bit weird. Yeah. Back off and get some real friends. Yeah. Don't say that to too many people.

Don't say that out loud. I reckon keep that to yourself. Yeah. I appreciate it, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd say, am I one of your best friends? And mum would be like, no. No.

Yeah. Nah, you're my son. I love you, but I don't like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're my son. You're not my best friend. That's insane. I gave you life.

Yeah. You don't owe me a friendship from that. No. I owe you life. Yes. And that's it. Yeah. There's a name for this relationship

It's called parent It's called parent and child So 58% said that they would have Apparently when you get to 40 and older It gets up Yeah I see that Well you want to spend time with them I hate to brag it to everybody

But they're not going to be around forever are they They will be Did you used to do that when you were a kid Just cry in bed And then your parents would come and be like I get to everybody, but they're not going to be around forever, are they? Yes, they will be. They'll live forever. Did you used to do that when you were a kid? Just cry in bed? And then your parents would come and be like, you alright? You'd be like, I just keep thinking about the day you're going to die.

Jesus! I used to do it all the time. Why? Yeah, I'm so afraid of death. And I still am. But I used to do it all the time. What's wrong, Hales? Why are you getting yourself all worked up? Why are you all upset?

What do you mean? You're going to die one day! And they'd be like, oh, Hales? Why are you upset? You're going to die one day. And they'll be like, oh, Hales. And I jump into bed with them. Oh, it sounds like a ploy to get into bed with mum and dad. Yeah, I used to love being in bed with you. Stay where you are and calm down. No boundaries. No boundaries, I know.

No boundaries. No boundaries. Sounds like I was sucking from the teat until I was like six. I wasn't, but I give off that energy. Five. Yeah, five. Bitty. Yeah, no, I love being friends with my parents, though. It's really cool. from the teat till I was like six when I wasn't but I give off that energy yeah five yeah 60 yeah five bitty yeah no

I love being friends with my parents though it's really cool it's good fun have you travelled with them because that's one of these stats shopping together

I mean people I love shopping with my mum only because of what they buy you things no is that why people like shopping with their parents I just like

I like going to like my to ten with dad yeah because it reminds me of when we were kids and we'd go to the placemakers Is that why people like shopping with their parents? I like going to like Mitre 10 with Dad. Because it reminds me of when we were kids and we'd go to the placemakers I think we had in Morrinsville and it was always like picking up bits of wood and making sure they're straight before chucking them on the trailer. Yeah, nice. You've got to do that. Oh, God, Aaron does that now.

You've just got to let these trade places know you're not effing about. That's bold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want it. Too many knots. Don't want that one. I don't want it. Too many knots. Don't want that one. Don't want that one. Trying new restaurants is another thing people are doing with their parents. Me and my dad like to eat food together.

Yeah. My parents are pretty plain eaters. Dad will try, but mum will be like, oof, no, not for me. Yeah. And travelling to places they've never been to before. Yeah, I've travelled around the world with my mum quite a lot. Just the two of us. She'd go on your marching trips. She'd go on the marching trips and then afterwards we'd

pop off for a little, you know, month abroad. A month! A little month abroad. I know, I used to pull out of high school to do it too. Life. Must be life. High school, by the way, wasn't some free public school that you could tap in and out of as you wanted. They were paying a fortune for that too.

We were paying thousands to be there. And then we'd pay thousands more to travel the world, darling. Well, Dad just had to stay at home and keep earning more. Yeah. Who's going to pay for all this? Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Jimmy. Jimmy. It's Mr. Beast's real name. Mr. Beast's in New Zealand.

Yeah, so the story started on, was it Friday night? Somebody saw him in Countdown in Hamilton looking at the Mr. Beast chocolate. And I was like, that sounds like a load of rubbish. You probably don't need to come all the way to check a shelf display. Yeah. You want to know how you want it to be, you know?

From one of the worst chocolates I've eaten. How much you can you pay Gordon Ramsay to say that's good chocolate? There's a video and he said he wanted Gordon Ramsay.

Mr Beast, if you're listening, try some Whittakers and then just Oh, I love your content and your chocolate. That's American chocolate. Yeah, Americans don't do good chocolate.

Australians, they don't know how to do chocolate. The Swiss, yes. Yes. The Swiss know their chocolate. We know our chocolate. Yep. The British, maybe. Kind of.

Well, I'd say yes. Because, you know, they've got some delicious chocolates. Yeah. Isn't that where Cadbury's from as well? Originally. Yeah, I believe it's a British brand. And Terry's Chocolate Orange. Don't forget Terry's Chocolate Orange.

Oh, actually. Don't forget the cheek-numbing sweetness that is a cherry chocolate. Oh, la, la, la. Such rich syrup. How would you describe that in a real day? Guys, I was about to say, when are Easter eggs on sale? It's June. Sorry, Hon. Hon, it's June. I just was like, I can't wait for a when are Easter eggs on sale? It's June. Sorry, Hon.

I missed it. Hon, it's June. I just was like, I can't wait for a lint bunny. I missed it. You missed the lint bunny. What was I doing? Well, there'll be a lint Santa soon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Top six video ideas for Mr. Beast in New Zealand. Because surely he's here filming something. Gotta be. If we wouldn't come all this way and not, we'd live in the most beautiful country in the world. A lot of conversations with August, my daughter, who's a Mr. Beast fan, about what he could be doing. And number six is her idea.

August thinks Mr. Beast should do it with his posse that he always travels with. The last stop sharing sheep wins. Oh, yeah. Because he has a lot of those last two wins. And I said to her, do you have any idea how hard it is to share a sheep? Yeah. She's like, I've seen them do it pretty quick on the news. I'm like, yeah, do you have any idea how hard it is to share a sheep? Yeah.

She's like, I've seen them do it pretty quick on the news. I'm like, yeah, they don't show the sluggers on the news. They only show the people beating records. Yeah. It'll be a very hard challenge to do. Number five on the list of the top six video ideas for Mr. Beast in New Zealand is another classic Mr. Beast idea.

Tipping wait staff way too much. Oh, yeah. You can probably tip someone $10,000 and the 18-year-old at Lone Star is going to be so confused. Yeah, like, what just happened? Because they've never been tipped before. Yeah. And now all of a sudden they've got $10,000.

They think it's a prank. And they're scared and then they cry and then, wow. And then they'll go out and they'll blow it. Of course they would. Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you? It's free money. Number four on the list of the top six video ideas

for Mr. Beast in New Zealand. He could give away Teslas. He loves giving away Teslas. He does. I'll take one. He'd give away Tesla to people who don't live anywhere near a charging station, nor can afford to have one installed at home. Yeah.

Quite a little bit impractical. Yeah. Slow. If you do it at home, too, and it's not a specialist charger, slow charge. What? You're just running a cable out the window? Slow. Yeah, running an extension cord out.

Oh, gosh. Bugging it in. Is it just a USB-C or standard USB? No, I think it's like... It's USB-C. Is it? Yeah. So you could just use your iPhone charger.

That must take a while. Yeah, 12 volt. Okay. Take a bloody... Well, I've got a fast charger, so my phone takes like 30 minutes to charge. So you reckon how long would the Tesla take? Like half an hour?

Yeah. 45? I've got one of those wireless chargers. I could just magnet that to the side of the charger. Oh, you could just shove it up underneath the carriage. Park it over the wireless charging.

I think that's how it works. Sweet. Number three on the list of the top six video ideas for Mr. Beast in New Zealand. Last to leave Hobbiton wins a million dollars in chocolate

and two homeless guys because he quite likes helping out the homeless. Yeah. Do you think he could film something at Hobbiton with the whole copyright? Yeah. YouTube is a... Heaps of the homeless. Yeah. Do you think he could film something at Hobbiton with the whole copyright? Yeah.

YouTubers, he's definitely got to be doing something there. Because that's why he would have been in Hamilton, right? No offence to your

hometown Hamilton, Vaughn. Lots of things in Hamilton. He could have been going to the gardens. Could have been going to White Tomahawk Caves. Beautiful. He could have been

joining the hunt for that Tom guy that's on the run With his kids Oh my god I mentioned that And he finds him And then he gives

The kids a Tesla Millions of dollars Worth of like Hate seeking equipment And stuff And he's just like This will be fun Let's do a man hunt

It's New Zealand He's not going to be dangerous Yeah Let's solve crimes In this small little country This cute little country That would be fun And then he'll donate

The $80,000 to a charity And give Tom's kids a Tesla reach and some of that chocolate they'll probably just be like oh no thanks no thanks dad would put on

a disguise once a week go to town and get us some wadikas yeah yeah yeah yeah that would actually be imagine that he gets caught

in a disguise and they're like what was it he's like bloody kids wanted a wadik's didn't they? What if Mr Beast turned up and said

I'll give you a Tesla but you have to say my chocolate's nice. I'll do it. Would you lie? Yeah. Same. It's edible.

It's just oily. It's not nice. Is there palm oil in it? I don't know. That's not a statement. I don't want to be sued but it's oily. Yeah it is

and it's thin. Yeah thin. It feels like there's four grams per block. God, we're chocolate snobs in this country, eh? We really are. But why wouldn't you be when you've got Whittaker's?

Yeah, I smashed a Hokey Pokey Whittaker's at the weekend, like a whole block. Aaron bought that awful mango coconut one. Oh, yeah, I'm not a fan of that. It's so sweet. Yeah. See, it's only right that we shit on Whittaker's because we've been so kind about them. We don't have to love Everything they do We don't have to love everything

But I was like Why have you done this Make a Damien block I saw I'ma have to get a blow I don't know It was a hoogie poogie That got me on Friday

Number two on the list Of the top six video ideas For Mr Beast in New Zealand He wants to dump A billion Orbeez In the wake of the river And then give chocolates To everyone

And make them feel better And then do a pop up Beast burger on a boat In the river with Squid Games challenge and a Tesla. Okay. It's sort of going all in.

A lot of ideas in that one. It's quite fast this time of year though. It's a lot of rain. The river? It's kind of a terrible time of the year. Yeah.

It's the rainy season. Yeah. Okay. And number one on the list of the top six video ideas for Mr. Beast in New Zealand. Do a YouTube version

of one of New Zealand's most famous reality TV shows. Oh, okay. A dog show. This is where the dogs used to round up the sheep and put them in the pens. His friends will compete against a Tesla, a chocolate bar, a Beast Burger, a billion Orbeez, the doll from Squid Games, and a dog that looks like Blue in a sheep roundup competition. Winner gets a billion dollars. A billion?

A billion dollars. Oh, God. I don't think he's quite got that much to give away. A billion dollars. Well, he will after he sells some more of that delicious chocolate. Yum, I love it.

Where's my Tesla? It's so good. For me, Mr. Beach's chocolate is the best chocolate in the world. Do you guys hear that? It's my Tesla pulling up.

Can't hear it because it's electric. I'll take one. That is today's top six I cannot help We literally just talked this morning about People being friends With their parents

And thinking that their parents are their best friends I can't help reading this story Thinking that this woman is not that close With her father Right Because this is a woman She lives in the Canary Islands thinking that this woman is not that close with her father. Right. Because she, this is a woman, she lives in the Canary Islands. Where's that? Where's that?

Is this where your friend lives? UK? No, he lives in Guernsey. In Guernsey. Those are the Channel Islands. Guernsey. Isn't Canary Islands the one off the coast of Africa? They're Spanish, aren't they?

Oh, I don't, maybe. Isn't that where like the Tenerife? That's terrible we don't, maybe. Isn't that where, like, the Tenerife and that? That's terrible we don't know where. Is it Tenerife and the Canary Islands? It is just off by Western Sahara, Morocco. She's got going on there, Fletch, some background stuff. Someone's talking to us. Someone's messed with these beds, these music beds, Jared.

Oh, no! Someone has messed with them. Someone shit the beds. Someone has included talky bits in the music. Jared will fix that while we discuss. So there's Western Sahara and Marrakesh, and you get in the middle and you head out. Oh my God, beautiful.

I knew, ultimately knew. Guess what? I'd advance to the next round of the chase. You're a couple of dum-dums. You're off home. Yeah, but that's because when we were all out partying, you were watching Carmen Sandiego. Well, we were out playing Carmen Sandiego.

Yeah. Anyway, so this woman is from the Canary Islands. She lives in the Canary Islands, sorry. She's 29 years old. Larissa's her name. I'm just painting the picture. Yeah. And her father gives her a call and was like,

hello, love, your daddy's getting married. And she's like, oh, my God, this is so amazing. Gave her the date of the wedding. Yeah, she's like, oh, my God, I didn't realise my dad was Thomas the Tank Engine. Hello, love, I'm out getting married. I don't think Thomas ever spoke. Oh, that was the other guy, the narrator.

Was that the Fat Controller? Thomas never spoke. Stop saying controller. Comp-troller. Oh, my God. This is news to me. It's not a controller. He's controlling.

It's comp-troller. It's Fat Controller. I knew that, but I just say Fat Controller. Also, now we just say- What's a comp-troller? Look at Carwood's fat- What is a comp-troller? No, wait, I've just Googled it.

It says the Fat Controller. It is controller, you idiot. No, it's a fat- It was a fat- You've got to be very careful to say words after saying. No, because you can't say fat now either. No, you don't call him fat anymore. You've just got to say he's just a controller.

He's just a. It doesn't matter. A portly. A portly. A portly controller. I thought it was comptroller. What's a comptroller? I don't know, but I always.

You've made up a word. No, because I said fat controller and somebody once corrected me. A comptroller. So a comptroller is a controller using the title of some financial officers. So it's like comptroller and auditor general. A public official who audits... What's it got to do with trains?

He's not at all... Unless he was a comptroller as well as a comptroller. So he was just a controller. He's just a fat controller. No, he's just a controller. He calls just a controller. A royal household official who examines and supervises expenditures. He calls himself that. He did bugger all controlling. He did a lot more cop trolling.

Those trains ran amok. Guys, you've just lost your minds for a moment. A royal household official who examines and supervises expenditures. He was. You don't dress in a... He wasn't. He was in a top hat and he was in a full dress code. He was looking after the railway expenditures,

not so much controlling the railway operations. He's known as a fat controller. Yeah, it's definitely controller. It's one of those things where I've been found to be wrong, but now I'm just really hard selling at a point. You're trying to dig down. He's wearing a goddamn three-piece suit and you're trying to tell me he's in charge of the trains?

He's far more of a financial man. No. Okay, so now, by the way, we don't call the Fat Controller the Fat Controller. We call him Sir Top Ham Hat. What? He's got a name. We call him by his name.

We just call him by his name. No, he has. No, he's still fat. Worn his. Fats. Some people. He's claimed the word for himself. He was a prick.

That's why we called him fat, right? He was a prick. Wasn't he a prick to Thomas? No, he was a prick. He's a bully. Controller. Didn't they brick one of them up in a tunnel in one episode of Thomas?

Yes, I remember that episode so much. It's haunting. Bullying. Bullying. Train bullying. He wasn't doing so great. I know. It's like basically like

he had a bit of train-pression. Yeah. And he wanted to talk about it to somebody, but the fat comptroller was like, Controller. Thomas the Tank Engine. Yeah, they bricked him up. And it was James.

It was the red one that got, was it James or Henry? The sad story of Henry. Henry got bricked up. And he's like upset and stuff. Oh, it's awful. Yeah, and he's depressed, right? Oh, his little face over the wall.

I remember this. They bricked him up. Do you know what this is? This is childhood trauma. Yeah, it is. They bricked him up, my dudes. His little face. And he was like, what have I done wrong?

I can't explain it. I'm just sad. And the fat controller is like, I'm in charge of the finances around here. And you ain't pulling your weight. Here's an episode. Thomas and Tank Engine's most disturbing episode ever is freaking people out. Yeah.

And he's behind the wall. Gordon. And he's like, help! Gordon Topham Hatt. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's his name. Anyway, so this girl whose dad is...

Who cares? This girl whose dad sounds like the controller. He's just kind of Henry. I don't think you quite understand, Fletch. I understand. I'm Henry. I understand. His little eyes.

The walls here and his eyes are just like. I know. It's horrible. But what about me friends? Why? I just wanted to talk to someone. Okay, listen. This chick, she booked a flight and it was a year.

She was a year early. Okay, she booked a flight to her father's wedding. Is this on the fictional island of Sodor? No. Is her father the fat controller? She was a year early. Back to Henry. What did Henry do wrong?

Did he get out? How did they get him out? You know what we should rank on Friday for final rankings? Trains. Thomas Trains. Thomas Trains. Because everyone puts Thomas tops. Thomas was a little bitch.

I'll say it. Oh, really? Henry was let out. Henry and James and Gordon were the heavy lifters of Sodor. Thank God, because I know we need to go to the news and stuff. Did he get some therapy or anything? He was let out in a future episode to stand in for another engine. What? I didn't know the episode ended with him left in there.

So what? Kids watched that episode, went to bed thinking this train had just been bricked up forever. We're just lying in bed like this being like, he's still behind the wall. I wonder what Henry's thinking. He thinks we've abandoned him. Producer Jared joins us in studio. G'day. G'day.

Suspiciously wearing a jacket that he wasn't wearing before. I know. So this Jared surprise, I think he might be wearing something. So you've had something made. You've commissioned something. Yeah. A while ago, we got sent some towels to work.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I know what this is. Oh my God. What is happening? We got sent, what were you got? Because you two,

well, gone about how the best flavour snacky changchangy is the sour cream and chives. Yeah, it's number one. Yeah, it's a great flavour. And sour cream and chives isn't the best flavoured chip in any range. It's the best flavoured chip in all ranges.

So I'll just correct you there before we move on. But the snacky-changy, the salt and vinegar and the... Salt and vinegar's good, sour cream chive. Well, I'm going to pull back on the flavour, but that's a chat for another time. I don't know. You've got a conspiracy theory going on here. Well, I'm going to pull back on the flavour, but that's a chat for another time. I don't know. You've got a conspiracy theory going on here. I've got a big conspiracy theory going on.

Big chip, pulling it back, bursting the flavour in their other big chips. They sent us, because they heard us talking about this, and they sent us a box of chips. And in it was these three snacker changy towels. That look just like... Beach towel quality.

Yeah, they look like the front of the packet of chips. Yeah. And as much as we love receiving free gifts... They don't match my bathroom. I'd say we sort of... Aesthetically, it didn't work for me. And Jared got so excited. He's like, well, can I have them for the new flat?

And we're like, absolutely. You knock yourself out. So these are those towels. These are the towels. Originally planned to be like a dog or a cat towel, you know. But Emma's or the Middy's future sister-in-law studied fashion in Amsterdam. Oh.

Wow. Has she got some stories from Amsterdam? Potentially. Shout out Fiona Lynn Studios on Instagram. Oh, my God. We're getting an unzip. We're getting an unzip. Oh, my God. So wait, what did you commission you commission I'm hiding I don't want to see it until

It's fully revealed I want to see a slow reveal I'm gonna go for I'll foley the zipper Oh yeah good Oh my god Am I ready Look look look You know what not bad

That is amazing. Oh, my God. He's had the towels turned into a crew neck sweater. It's even got the crew neck in there. Oh, my God. Okay, that is amazing. Oh, my God. That's so cool.

So cool. I wish I hadn't given you the towels now, and I did that. So feel that. It's like velour. It's like a velour tracksuit. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Oh, my God. It's cozy. It's warm. You're wearing towels. It's cool. It's like a velour tracksuit. Oh, my God. That's amazing. Oh, my God. It's warm. It's cosy. It's warm. You're wearing a t-shirt. It's beautiful. Oh, my God. It's good stuff.

The back's really good because the back. So the front's the classic snacker changy sort of, you know, old school movie poster. Uncle Kenny. Is it Uncle Kenny? Uncle Kenny with the chick. With the chick. Yeah.

Hot chick. Oh, my God. They're going to love that. Salted down the arm. That's so good. That's brilliant. There's the quote down the other arm. And the backs are snacking.

Oh my God, this is so good. You've given them an idea for merch. They're going to love this. They need to roll that out. The towels are available somewhere. Are they? I can't remember where, but somewhere online. Oh my God, this is the best use of towels.

Because remember, I got a shirt commissioned of koala beer old tea towels. That's right. This is next level. That was my inspiration. Yeah. So shout out to Emma's future sister-in-law, Fiona. Does she do custom orders? I think she might.

She might now. Now I want a towel and a towel top. I'm going to get the salt and vinegar towels next because this is rad. Oh, you're such a fan of these chips. All your clothing is now becoming the chips. Maybe matching pants. Salt and vinegar matching pants. There we go.

A trackie, like a nice elasticated waist trackie for comfort with a cuffed ankle. Good stuff. And I really wanted to wear this the whole show today, but I wanted to surprise you guys. Now you can. Now it's in the heavy rotation. I love it.

That is amazing. Can we get this up on socials ASAP? This is incredible. I mean, if you're not given some sort of lifetime supply of Snacky Chicky Chicks. They'll be like, we've snoozed on this. This is great. It should be like my food bag, but it's a box of chips and it just turns up at your house every week.

Yeah. Silly little pole, silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little pole Silly little pole, silly little pole Silly little pole, silly little pole Cozzy Living Cry. It's a living crisis. It continues. What are we now?

Stagflating. Yeah. What's that? Stagnant. It's worse. I don't know. There was an article yesterday.? Stagflating. Yeah. What's that? Stagnant. It's worse. I don't know. There was an article yesterday. It's stagnant inflation.

Yeah. I don't know. Stagflating, which is apparently bad. Do you know I like to not think about it? Yeah, just live in ignorance. Yeah, it's a good idea. Apparently the cost of living crisis in Australia is taking a toll on mental well-being because everybody's pushing, pushing hard.

Earn more, earn more, work harder, work harder. Financial stress, of course, isn't going away. Also, did you see, you know, everyone's like, well, screw this, I'm going to move to Aussie. Sydney and Melbourne were both in the list of impossibly expensive cities in the world and possibly unaffordable cities. Jesus. Well, that's great. So, I mean, you might get paid a little bit more,

but then you also... Yeah. Yeah, but then I've got friends that have moved to Aus and they haven't looked back. So they're loving it. Yeah, same. So Hong Kong, the most impossibly unaffordable city, followed by Sydney, Vancouver, San Jose, LA, Honolulu, and then Melbourne.

Wow. Well, silly little poll, because of this cost of living and the burnout and everything, 2.7 million Australians could quit their job. Oh. It's crazy, eh? So silly little pollers, we asked, are you currently debating quitting your job? 55% of people said no. 45% of people said yes.

They are. Yeah. So pretty close to half. 50-50 there. Angela says... Can we see what Hayley voted on this?

Are you considering quitting your job? I don't want to talk about it. Okay. I won't push it. I don't need to go to HR. Hi, Graham. Sorry, just got my agent

on the phone. Oh, okay. They're on to me. Pull the pin. Pull the pin. Pull the pin. Pull the pin. Excuse me.

You're going the right way to be backed into a tunnel and bricked in. No! If you don't stop... I'm having a trauma response. And we'll just poke a microphone over the top.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry I said I would quit. Please let me out of the tunnel. No, staying in the tunnel. No, I want to play. I want to play with the other trains. No, no playing with any of the other trains. Angela says they're actually restructuring me out, the tunnel. No, staying in the tunnel. No, I want to play. I want to play with the other trains. No, no playing with any of the other trains.

Angela says they're actually restructuring me out, but I'm going to say it's me quitting just to make me feel better. If they're restructuring you out and then you take a redundancy, do not for all means quit, right? If there's a redundancy thing, you can say afterwards, yeah, I quit. I opted for redundancy. Oh, God, yeah, take that.

Yeah, yeah, take a bit of redundancy. Charlie says every Monday morning I find myself debating quitting my job in order to get more sleep. Yeah. Oh, Charlie. Charlie, bit me. Charlie. Charlie, bit me.

Charlie, bit me. Ouch, Charlie. Nope, nope, nope. Best job I've ever had. No word as to what the job was. What job was it? No word. Oh, come on.

Jay says, definitely not. I love my job as a courier. The city is my office and I get to see you guys every day. Huh? This is our courier. Wait, are they meaning just you? I'm trying to say what's up. Oh, my God.

They literally just dropped me off a package. Thank you. But I very much love your show. Oh, my God. Come in and say hi next time. Come in and say hello. You can just say, I don't see the courier every day. More presents,

more presents. Hand deliver please. More presents. And if it's got Hayley on it and Franja, I'll shake it a bit. Excuse me? Yeah.

Especially if it's big and it says on the outside, expensive light shades. Yeah. She loves when those are rough handled. I love it. Avril says,

thinking of moving to Australia. Avril Lavigne. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. Wow. She loves when those are rough handled. I love it. Avril says, thinking of moving to Australia. Avril Lavigne, yeah. Amazing. Yeah. Wow, she listens. She said she did like her job and then why did it have to get so complicated? Good. God's sake.

I'm thinking of moving to Australia. Anonymous, please. Leadership is so out of touch and has no idea what it's actually like teaching in the classroom with the kids of today. I'm looking at options outside the classroom. Yeah, I think we had a lot of teachers messaging because, you know, they were absolutely working hard and underpaid.

You know when we wake up and we're tired and we're like, oh, well, at least we can just pick each other up a bit. Imagine having to be in charge of children. Oh, yeah. And not only in charge of them, like babysitting, but in charge of developing their brain

so that they can function as humans in the future. Do you reckon you'd give up on a couple of them? Yeah. The shit them? Yeah. The shitbags? Yeah. Yeah. I think a couple of my teachers gave up on me. Jocasterant.

Jocasterant. Jocasterant. I don't know if there's a couple here. J-A-K-A-S-T. Jocast. A-R-I-N-T. Oh, I was going to say another A. We've got a lot of A's in this.

Him and his brother Jaden. Yeah, Jaden and Jocasterin. Jaden and Jocasterin. Jaden, yeah. 12 months ago, he's been at a massive pivot and changed industries, loving every minute of it. Should have done this years ago. Well, what industry did they pivot to?

I don't know. He's kept that under his hat. Oh, I want to know. Kenny said, I was thinking about it up until last week then I actually did quit. I'm a teacher and I know it's very common

to feel constant pressure in this career but my reason for leaving is mainly due to the management of the school I'm at. Oh, yeah. It was a super impulsive decision and I have zero clue

about what I'm going to do next but damn, that was satisfying. Oh, God, yeah. You can just do, while you're finding something, you can do the relief teaching because I think you get paid

a bit more, too. Yeah. Filling in. But the kids have zero respect for you. There's so many bloody sicknesses around at the summer. I reckon if you're a relief teacher, you'd be all got. Yeah. She'd be all got.

Shadow's a well-relief teacher at Intermediate that told us she gets paid more than our ordinary teacher. Did she tell you that? Yeah. She's like, do whatever you want. I don't care, because all the kids are misbehaving. She's like, I get paid more than your ordinary teacher to be she tell you that? Yeah. She's like, do whatever you want. I don't care because all the kids are misbehaving. She's like,

I get paid more than your ordinary teacher to be here for the day. I love that. They used to go so rogue. Yeah. And then some days they'd care

and then most of them they wouldn't. Amy says, my role sucks but people I work with are awesome. I've been loyal before and it has not worked

in my favour so I'm conflicted. Oh, okay. Yeah. Loyalty's got to be a two-way street. Yeah. Salty's got to be a two-way street, doesn't it? Silly little part.

Thank you to everyone who came to see the comedy event in Lincoln over the weekend. Had a great time. If I seemed a little shocked, it's because I didn't quite realise a few things about the gig. Now this was a gig that was organised through my agent ages ago and put in the calendar, do you want to do a gig with these people? And I was like hell yeah, great. Love

Dine, Jazzy and Alan, why not? Let's go. Booked in and then I just never really thought about it again and then I had to look and I was like, okay, 30 minutes. We're all doing 30 minutes. That's great. I've done Comedy Fest. Feeling good with my material.

We're all sorted. And then I didn't really pack anything because when you do a gig at a bar or just like a casual gig, you don't get all like dressed up or anything. You just wear whatever. So I was just sort of in clothes and just staying overnight. And I was like, it's fine. I don't really need all my makeup and stuff. I'll cover my pimples and chuck on a mascara.

Good to see she goes all out for Lincoln. Yeah, I know. Crazy, eh? The people of Lincoln. No, well, let's just. Lincoln is an agricultural university. Yeah, they don't need a glamorous city girl. Bloody hell.

This Sheila's gone and got all dolled up. Jesus, Sheila's like, she'd be a handful. She'd be high maintenance. Boys, stay away from her. You don't want a Sheila like that. So I was with my good friend and comedian, Justine Smith, and we were all in our different rooms. She was like, what time are you getting ready?

And she was asking if I had hairspray. I was like, no, I'm just chucking my hair up in a bun. Did you stay out at Lincoln or did you stay in town? Stayed in Lincoln, yeah, yeah. And then I looked down and the car's there to pick us up to go to this gig. And I see Jazzy. By car, I assume you meant ute.

No, no, no. It was a van of sorts. Okay. And I looked down and I saw that Jazzy's got her sort of, sometimes she dresses up for big gigs and has these sequins on and stuff I was like, oh gosh, she's all dressed up, I feel a bit underdressed and I came down and I was like you look nice, she's like, thank you

didn't say anything about me, I was going to say doesn't look that nice, and I got in the van and the guy who'd organised the event was driving it and I said, how are tickets for tonight? you always ask, and he said oh yeah, sold out ages driving it and I said, how are tickets for tonight? You always ask. He said, oh yeah,

sold out ages ago. And I was like, oh my God, amazing. How many in? He said, a thousand. I was like,

a thousand? Where are they all fitting? He was like, it's at the event centre. And it turned out like, it was like this big, massive show with a thousand people in it.

Wait, and you thought you were playing it? I literally was, I said, oh! And I turned to Jazzy and Diane, I was like, I thought it was a pub gig. They were like, what made you think that ever at any point? And I was like, I just never

re-read the email from the original thing. So then I got out there and I went there and there's catering and drinks and this huge bubbling crowd and I peeked behind the curtain and I was like, oh, shit. There was a thousand people there. And then I sort of had to step up my game a bit.

I luckily found like a brown eyeshadow stick in my handbag. Thumbed a bit of that on the lids. Yeah. I think I put a hair clip in. Yeah. Try to Rise to the occasion A hair clip

Fluffed your trackies a little bit Fluffed the trackies I wasn't wearing trackies Thank God Did up your shoelaces Yeah I tied up the shoelaces You weren't going to tie them up Until the push came to show

Tied up the shoelaces And then I was like What kind of crowd is this? And they were like Oh it's just a mixed bag And I said Oh God I sort of was hoping for like

Because we've sort of was hoping for like, because we've sort of worked out that my audience in general, and I say this with love and adoration, office bitches. Yeah, right. Yeah. And I was like, they're my crowd. They love my content. And I looked out and I was like.

Farmers? Sort of farmers. Very farmers. Very farmers. Yeah, but farmers probably love a bit of your horny content. Do you know what? I'll say it. They did not disappoint. What a crowd. They love a bit of your horny content. Do you know what? I'll say it. They did not disappoint. What a crowd.

They were great. Lincoln was up for it. They were in their farmer best and out for a good night. So you thought there was going to be like 100 people? Yeah. But did you think they were going to fly you and Di Henwood and Justine Smith down for 100 people? Yeah.

I don't know. I did never really put two and two together about the whole thing It was a lovely surprise And you didn't take your piano, would you have taken your piano? For a thousand people, you don't take your piano for a hundred, you take it for a thousand It's such a pain travelling with that thing that I only take it for

big gigs, if it's just a normal gig I've still got plenty of jokes You'll have a good laugh and stuff, but you know, I don't deliver my music for anything smaller than 500. Any rural heckling? No, we had a bit of gas bagging. There was apparently

quite a few pregnant people in the audience. Oh, okay. So I was gas bagging with a few pregos. Right, okay. Yeah, but no, no rural heckling. They were just having a lovely old time But yeah if I ever get to go back and do the gig again I'll be more prepared for a thousand people Right well you said thank you for coming along

But have you apologised? Yeah sorry I think I did a good gig I think I did a good show They got a good show I just wasn't They didn't get the piano Off air she was saying if it was't... They didn't get the piano. They didn't get the piano.

She was just saying, off-air she was saying if it was Rollison, she would have taken the piano. It was just private. It was private. I'm a more of a Rolly girl. Much more of a Rolly girl.

Yeah. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Okay, there is a guy who shares... He takes videos of himself taking customer service calls. Oh, yeah. And he has a customer service voice.

And he called the voice, the voice that'll get you an extra 30K a year if you perfect it. And he's there saying like, hello, ma'am. Yeah, can I help you? Well, please remember that I da-da-da-da-da-da. Canadian, obviously. Yeah, that went really Canadian. Went very Canadian. Is he not Canadian?

No, he's American. Okay. But all, okay. And for my story, he is from Canada. So you have an acting degree. Yeah. How much was that again? It was, it sort of ended up around $42,000.

Wow. And did you not do accents? Yeah, we did accents. Oh, you did? Okay. Did you do American? Yep. What year did you go Oh, you did? Okay. Did you do American? Yep. What year did you go to acting school?

Were you still doing Chinese accents then or have they bonked that on the head? No, we didn't do Chinese. What if you were a Chinese student? Do you want to know something funny? A little sidestep. So we learned, we had this, we had a Canadian voice teacher, funny enough.

Maybe that's what's gone skew-iff here. And he was an incredible at accents, and we learnt the phonetic alphabet, and he was like, the best way to learn accents is phonetically, right, rather than just, like, free-balling it like I just did. And we said, could you learn any accent if it was out phonetically? And he said, yeah. And so we got him to learn Somalian.

Wow, okay. The Somalian accent. From listening to the alphabet? From having text... It's spelled phonetically. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. The Somalian accent. From listening to the alphabet. From having text- It's spelled phonetically. Transferred into the actual phonetic alphabet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I do Somalian.

And then like a month later, we were like, right. And he performed a monologue in a Somalian accent. Now that was for private and I've shared it publicly. Yeah. And I want to keep that just between all of our listeners. Anyway, so this guy, he has a beautiful voice and then he switches it off and his voice drops like an octave.

Yeah. And he's got this deep, gruff, casual voice and he was like, this is my real voice. And then he comes back and just shows the switch. He's got a customer service voice. He's got a fantastic customer service voice, which got us thinking of a little idea this morning. We want to find the best customer service voice in New Zealand.

I just want to hear people with their customer service voice. Now, you may remember when they were in Australia, I think they were auditioning for the new un-thingy item in baggage area. Unclaimed. Unclaimed item in baggage area. Unexpected. Unexpected, that's right. I know, I couldn't remember the word.

Unexpected item in baggage area, which is how we met lovely Max. Yeah. Octopus 9. Now I want to hear the greatest customer service voice. So maybe you're someone that is customer facing or you work in a call centre. What about if you're a nurse or a teacher, the voice that you use for patients or kids? But then, you know, it might be like, okay, now we're just going to take your own blood pressure. Yes.

But then you go to the lunchroom, you're like, God, can't white hand my sandwich. Okay, I like this even more. Can't white hand my sandwich. Give us your job and then your job voice. Yes. And we want to find the best job voice. And I tell you what, there's a McCafe voucher in it for you.

Oh, I don't know. You can't just give that away. Watch me. You just watched me. Wow. Okay. And I did it in my radio voice. Great radio, great customer service voice.

Thank you. It's been my pleasure to deal with you. Anything else today, Mr. Fletcher? And then you hang up the phone. Oh, that's good. It was calming. God, that guy sounded like a... Yeah.

So, okay, 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Give us a call now. You can text through as well, 9696, if you can't get through. Yes. What is your job? And then give us your job voice. If it is top notch, you win. We are trying to find the best customer service voice for your job.

So we want you to call up, tell us your job, and then give us your job voice. Rhys, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are we? Good. up, tell us your job And then give us your job voice Rhys, good morning Good morning guys, how are we? Good, now what is your job? I'm a plumber Oh yeah, okay, yeah good So what is your customer service voice when you're talking to people? How does that go?

Okay, I'll give you an example There's a, my toilet's blocked Help me blocked help me help me race Hi there Hayley I'm just here to talk to you about how we're going to go through fixing your toilet. First I'm going to go

through, I'm going to try and check for the blockages and then I'm just going to go through test it and yeah we'll go from there really. Oh my god your whole voice jumped up didn't it? It was good. It was very friendly and it was informative. Because I would say I've dealt with a few plumbers in my time

and they're a bit grunty sometimes. A bit grunty? A bit grunty. Oh yeah, we'll do that. We'll do that. We'll do that. Yeah, that was pretty good. Pretty good, Rhys.

Thank you. Let's go to Hamish. Hamish, good morning. Good morning, guys. Good morning. What's your job? Oh, that's friendly. I work in retail. Yes, you do. So I, guys. Good morning. What's your job? Oh, that's friendly. I work in retail.

Yes, you do. So I had to come for that. Yeah. Do you find as well when you retail shopping that you put on a voice when you talk to the retailers? Like when you're shopping? A hundred percent. I raise my voice similar to Reece. Like just I put my customers at his work on and I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I have to ask you things. Okay, Hamish, I'm coming in. Hi, Hamish. I'm like, I'm so sorry, I have to ask you things. Okay, Hamish, I'm coming in. Hi, Hamish, I bought, what do you sell? Appliances. Okay. Blender.

Hi, Hamish, I see on your name tag, I bought a blender and it is, my smoothies are really lumpy, so what are you going to do about it? Oh, let me take a look into that.

Do you have your receipt with you by any chance? Oh, yeah. Good customer service voice. I'm going to look into that. Do you have your receipt with you by any chance? Oh, yeah. Good customer service voice. I'm going to look into that, which kind of told me it had a little silent bitch at the end. I'm going to look into that. Also, maybe have you tried just running the blender

for a bit longer to get rid of the lumps? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, that's quite good. That's quite good, Hamish. Wait there, Paige. Good morning. Good morning, yes, yes. Okay, that's quite good. That's quite good, Hamish. Wait there, Paige. Good morning. Good morning. Oh, okay.

Now, what's your... You work in customer service. I work at a subway shop. Oh, okay. Sandwich artist. What is your... Give us your customer... Well, we don't know that she might have been selling subway systems.

Not true. Underground train systems. She could be, yeah. Yeah, she could be, yeah. Okay. Give us your customer service voice. Can I please get a delicious ham sandwich? You sure can.

What bread would you like that one on? Oh, yeah, good. Peppy. Yeah, pretty good. Peppy, good for you. What she doesn't know is I'm a celiac and she just killed me. Let's go to Jennifer. Jennifer, what's your job?

Well, I used to be a telephonist, and you actually had to... Sorry, a telephonist. I think it's pronounced telephonist. A telephonist. A telephonist. I used to answer 1,500 calls a day in exactly the same way. Your voice is heavenly. Oh, my God, I love that.

Your voice is heavenly. Okay, so let's take a call. Let's pretend Hayley's calling you. Okay, so what kind of service are you providing? Well, we were a recruitment agency. Okay. Bling, bling. Hi there. My name's Hayley Sproul.

I am really wanting to leave my job in radio and find a new job. Just wondering if you could help me. Thank you for calling Drake Caller. I'm sorry, but I'll have to put you through to one of our consultants who could just like to hold the line That's good stuff That's good stuff

Surely that's going to be our winner Well I mean surely We'll give it one more song If somebody wants to try and outdo Jennifer Jennifer is the winner so far If somebody can outdo Jennifer with a customer service voice Can we get Jennifer to do me my voicemail Jennifer is the winner so far. If somebody can outdo Jennifer with a customer service voice. Can we get Jennifer to do me my voicemail?

You know? That's such a good voice. Hayley, we'll search for your best customer service voice. Yeah. Nobody over that song has been able to outdo Jennifer. Yeah, look, nice try, everyone. But Jennifer, your voice is exquisite for customer service. Thank you. Honestly, everyone. But Jennifer, your voice is exquisite for customer service. Thank you. Honestly, incredible.

We're going to give you a $50 McCafe voucher. Yeah, thank you. And also, Jennifer, can I ask a favour? Can you do me a new voicemail, like inbox message? Yeah. Okay, can you, in your amazing voice, say, Hi, this is the phone of Hayley. I'm far too busy and important for you.

Don't leave a message. I won't listen. Okay. Okay. Hi, you've reached Hayley. I'm sorry, but I'm unavailable and far too busy to talk to you right now, so don't leave a message, please,

and I'll contact you when I damn well feel like it. Oh, you could be. I love it. That's good, Sass.. Oh, you could be. I love that. Yeah, it's good. And then B for the end. Yeah, yeah. This voice. When did you know you had a good voice?

Or did you just develop it over time? I was only 23, no, 22 when I started the role. And this is my normal voice, but we had to audition and my boss would actually ring to make sure, A, I was answering the phone quick enough, and B, I had to have that voice continuously. And you had to say, and when it was Easter, you had to say, Happy Easter.

Thank you for calling. And then Merry Christmas. You should have said Happy Easter to those that celebrate. To those that celebrate. Exactly, but this was the 80s. Oh, wow. You have a gift. You have an absolute gift, Jennifer. You are our winner.

Jennifer, wait there. We'll sort you out with a $50 McCafe voucher. Play Zeddy's Fletchford and Ailey. Play Zeddy's. You've heard me mention it. On Friday was my daughter August's 10th birthday on Saturday. Yes, fun. And on the way home from work on Friday, I was like,

I had a, aha, that's what I'm going to get. You'd left it quite late, I'll say. I always do. I always do. Sade takes care of most of the stuff, most of the present buying, but I like to swoop in with a dad present. And August loves making omelettes. Oh, yeah.

And she rules at making omelettes. Yeah, right. Which is very important. I want an omelette. Because I yeah. And she rules at making omelettes. Yeah, right. Which is very important. Oh, yeah, I might want an omelette. Because I'm too, I don't have the patience. Mine just turned into scrambled eggs, my omelettes. I'm good at an omelette, but I've got rubbish pans. Oh, yeah.

It's something that eventually I'm going to have to replace all my pans. I bought good pans. This is the sort of quality omelette we're getting. Oh, my goodness. That's incredible. Encore. What I'm seeing here is a beautiful even we're getting. Oh, my goodness. That's incredible. Encore. What I'm seeing here is a beautiful, even cook. Yep.

Some slight browning. So we haven't gone French style, but that's... What's French style? Slow and no browning. French omelette. Oh, wow. Okay. And they roll them up like a log, you know,

and they're always like custody. It doesn't look like there's a lot in that omelette. No, that's my fave. That's cheese and ham. Oh. Just your basic cheese and ham. I do like mushrooms, capsicum. I like it so... That's where you're going wrong. You a lot in that omelette. No, that's my favourite. No, it's cheese and ham. Oh. Just your basic cheese and ham. I do, like, mushrooms, capsicum. I like it so...

That's where you're going wrong. You're overloading your omelette. No, my omelette's more like open... The structure of the egg is being compromised. It really is. You're asking too much of cooked egg. I like my omelette to be more like an open sandwich. Yes.

An open omelette. This is why you're always ending up with a scramble. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with a scramble. Well, we had to chuck out August's old omelette pan a few weeks ago. Oh, yeah. Because somebody, I'm not pointing things. Sade.

Put forever chemicals in it. Put it in the dishwasher. Oh, no, it was a big forever chemical. Oh, yeah. They never go in the dishwasher. No, use the metal something in it and scratch it. Scourer. Yeah.

No, no, no, the scourer. Metal utensils. You don't use a metal utensil in a non-stick pan. I don't mind now because I disrespect them so much because they disrespect me. You disrespect them. No, I'm just like,

well, I'm just over you. You've got to have some respect. Oh, don't do that. They take a bit of food tax. Right. Wait, so this was your present? So I got her a new omelette pan. I tell you what,

this wasn't just a walk-in by the cheapest point. Because 20 centimetre pans are your omelette pan, right? Good size for a small omelette. It's a small frying pan. Okay. But some of them, I don't think they can call themselves 20-centimetre pans because they start curving up at about the 15-centimetre mark.

20 centimetres to me, I'm going to have a flat bottom pan right out to the edge and then just pull up a little. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I searched right out to the edge and then just pull up a little. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I searched. I went to multiple stores. Right.

Before I found a pan I was happy with. And luckily, you know who was having a sale? Borusco's. You never buy better. So I went in there and it was what you would, only a fool would have paid full price for this pan. Yeah, right. But I didn't know, but I bought a pan. So then you might be thinking,

a pan, that doesn't sound like a super exciting gift. No, also a good gift because the whole family's going to use it. Yeah, and get omelette score. No, I said to her, I was like, you've got to look after this pan. Don't, I wouldn't let this hide in your room. Just be used willy-nilly. You can almost hide this in your room. Like make a little hook in the wardrobe.

Clean it, dry it, put it in the room. I said to her, I was like, when we clean it, we just use a hot cloth with some hot water, soapy water. We give it a wipe. We don't scrub. Almost could padlock it to the rail in the wardrobe. Could do it. Yeah, you put it on its hook, and then the hook's got a hole in it,

and then you have to padlock through the hook so it can't come off the hook. And then her sister can't use it. Exactly. Yeah, good. Something nice. That's what I would think if I was. Indy's not there. Indy doesn't cook.

She would never be like, oh, I'll make myself an omelette. Yeah. Right. She would just be like, I'm hungry. Feed me. Yeah. You birthed me, now feed me. I might just have a giant bowl of Cocoa Pops.

The healthiest way to start the day. So you might be thinking, pan's not that exciting a gift. The best way to take a gift that would just be like, that's a cool gift and make it super cool, I got it engraved. Oh, where? I went to the engraver. I was just like, I just went to the engraver in the mall and I was like, weird question, could you engrave this?

And I held up the pan and he was like, could. Plastic handle? Because usually I'd use show engraver. We've got Alex. Alex is our show engraver. But this was a last minute. Short on time. Short on time. You've left it to the last minute. I'm short on time. I'm not driving into Newland.'ve got Alex. Alex is our show engraver. Yeah, yeah. But this was a last minute. Short on time. Short on time.

You've left it to the last minute. Short on time. I'm not driving into Newland. That's madness. Where did they engrave? On the side of the pan. Wait, on the forever chemicals? No, on the middle bit.

On the outside of the, look, like this. So I said to him. That's so cool. So that's what I said to him. I was like, how big can it be? He's like, well, it's rounded rounded So I can't go all the way round With my machine But I can go down

That's a wok Not an omelette pan It's not a wok No That's not what I thought That's not an omelette pan Sorry listener Vaughn's just showing us a photo

You were literally just saying That the curving up No that's not a wok It was deceptive Because of how close it was It was gassed out of it It's got really high sides And curved

It's not To me It's not It is It's an omelette pan Your daughter's part Asian She should know And you know how I feel About Asian people and their woks It's really high sides and curved. Yeah, that's not an omelette pan. It's not. I'm so sorry. It's an omelette pan. Your daughter's part Asian. She should know, and you know how I feel about Asian people and their woks.

They've got to have a wok. They have to have a wok. This isn't a wok. It's too flat at the bottom before it curls up. Trust me, I went for the, I was literally holding pans like that and over top of each other, working out which one went the furthest,

farthest, before, whoop, pulling up on a sharp. But not too deep also you don't want it too deep now I want an engraved pan same it's your birthday

this week what kind of pan do you need I don't need any pans got a wok I've got a wok do you have a wok you give us your wok

we'll get it engraved let's get your wok engraved yeah yeah you give us all of your pans let's just put puns on it yeah wok and roll no I don't want you touching my wok Let's get you walk-engraved. Yeah, yeah. You give us all of your hair, we'll get them all engraved. Let's just put puns on it.

Yeah, walk and roll. No, I don't want you touching my walks. It's a walk and roll. Good time. I don't want you touching my pots. I want to walk and roll all night. And potty every day. Potty every day.

In fact, it's just going to be Kiss's song. Yeah, great. Song lyrics. Oh, perfect. Perfect. Can we have all your pants please No I'll be fine thanks Pants please I'm changing my locks

Why are you asking You've got a key I'm changing the locks My guess is after the show He'll be Off to the gym So that'll give us A good hour

And then after he goes To the gym He might Go for a swim And then after that He might go for a bike ride Like he's doing A effing triathlon

Every day This guy's doing A triathlon every day This guy needs to Sp triathlon every day. This guy needs to spend more time ingesting calories, not burning them. Do you know what? We could do it after hours when he's asleep and you and I are up sharing memes and not having any respect for our body and getting a good night's sleep. He's asleep at 7.30 because of his triathlon.

I wake up to like 20 memes that have been sent between the hours of 8 o'clock and 11. And I'm like, go to sleep, you two. Oh, this is fantastic. Yeah. Oh, Thursday sorted? It's just, but get it engraved. Yeah. They're my advice.

Yeah, right. For any present. So simple. Chuck a name on it. You won the birthday. I think I won the birthday. There were some other good gifts, but let's face facts here. A personalized pan, are you kidding me?

That's pretty awesome. 10 out of 10. For a 10-year-old. Would buy again. Bridgerton Part 2 of Season 3 was released at the end of last week. Thank you, darling. Hello, people of Bridg... What is it?

Whistle down. Hello, people of... I don't know. You're watching it. Bridgerton. I don't think she's watching it. Hello. I think she's

It's on. It's on. It's on. Julie Andrews. She's up to something but she's not giving her full attention. I'm a multitasker.

Hello, dearest gentle reader. That's what it is. And I watched I'm nearly at the end of part two but I was looking forward to it because

the end of part one left us on a cliffhanger of the first. Squeaky doors. Squeaky doors. There'd be a lot of squeaky doors and they don't have WD-40 or CRC to fix them. They don't. They probably got whale oil. Yes.

Blubber. Blubber. You put some blubber on your hinges. Put a bit of. Eh. Eh. Well, anyway, so it starts with this scene and there's a few things to discuss here. The scene of question is, it takes place in front of a mirror.

Right. Some standing and he undresses her. And people are saying online that the way to make this already steamy hot scene even steamier and hottier is to have the audio descriptions on. They're like it. Close captions. Close captions. Because it sort of describes everything. And so for you girlies like myself you know, myself and Carwen,

who love to read, the smart, you're getting sort of the visual and the reading. Yeah, I can attest to this. I have post captions on because my flatmate always turns them on and I turn them off and I've just decided to let it be. Oh, you've got to watch it. I watch everything with post captions on. No, I hate watching.

It ruins scenes sometimes. Sometimes I accidentally read it before it's happened. I know Karen has them on. I can to watch it. I watch everything with those captions on. No, I hate watching. It ruins scenes sometimes. Sometimes I accidentally read it before it's happened. I know Karen has them on. I can't stand it. But yeah, it does add an element. Also, I will say, that scene is a lot steamier than in the book. It's so good. And they broke the piece of furniture used in that scene while filming.

Their two actors got real passionate and it caused that to break. I'm on it now. What episode is this? Episode five, about like five minutes in. I'm still on season one. But the audio description, so even more than closed captions,

which just does like grunting, but the audio description for... So season three, episode five? Yep, about like five-ish minutes in. grunting, but the audio description for Season 3 Episode 5? About five-ish minutes. Guys, wait, not subtitles. Audio description for blind people.

I was imagining subtitles. No, audio description because they say he skims a finger across her lower lip and down her neck. That's okay. She watches in the mirror as his hand presses against her bodice. She places her hand on his as he squeezes. She turns and kisses him hungrily.

Isn't it good? I sort of get it now. So there's a person saying it. Yeah, there's a person saying it. Yeah. Also, there's another thing going around That people are using Bridgerton language In like everyday life Because they've been so

Intensely watching the show So you Fletch When you go for your walk today Instead you may go on a promenade Okay I'm going to the promenade or that's what they call walking I'm going promenading It's like they all go out.

Go for a promenade. You kind of walk around. Right, okay. And when you're on your dating apps, now you're courting? Yeah, you're courting. Oh my gosh, he's courting me at the moment. Wow, okay. The numbers are huge.

Like, I think it's probably doing the best out of all of the series. And people love the lead. Nicola Colan who is from Dairy Girls and she's amazing in it. Anyway let's wrap up this radio show so I can go home and watch the end

of the season because it's hot and it's steamy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day day day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day This week's fact of the day theme

Is space Inspired by a recent trip I took To space? Today's Fact of the Day. This week's Fact of the Day theme is space. Inspired by a recent trip I took. To space? Not to space. Although I've said it, I'd go on one of those space trips. Never, ever, ever, ever go. Not yet. Give it five years.

I'd rather go on one of the space trips in that submarine to the Titanic. Oh, yeah. The new one that they want to do, not the one that was... Oh, yeah, because what could go wrong? With an Xbox controller. What could possibly go wrong? With an Xbox controller. What could possibly go wrong? Both would be scary. Yuck.

Why are you doing that? Today's space fact of the day, because the scale of space is going to be a common occurrence in this week's fact of the day. Right. The scale of space incomprehensible. Yuck. It makes me want to be genuinely sick. When you were a kid and you were looking at a diagram of the day. The scale of space incomprehensible. Yuck. It makes me want to be genuinely sick.

When you're a kid and you're looking at a diagram of the solar... Yeah, of the solar system, you're cutting your apple. It's actually quite hypocritical what he's doing. It is, wildly so. Isn't it? Making his apple cutting He's always purping at me when I'm trying to just take a little bite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if I

need to move my microphone because I don't have an arm like his. Vaughn literally plays a game while we're on air. I haven't played the game. The band's on the Wi-Fi. What? How the hell? I can't access the game on the Wi-Fi. I have to disengage Wi-Fi. Oh my god. Anyway.

The International Space Station orbits 220 miles above Earth in kilometres times that by 1.6. Excuse me for a moment. I sort of feel like it's your fact of the day. You know, you times it by 1.6. 350 kilometres straight up.

Okay. Okay, so that's 10 times, because how high do commercial airlines fly? They fly 35,000 feet. Why are we doing the feet? 30,000 metres? Yeah. Yeah. It's 10 kilometres up. So, you know, put that into perspective. 35,000 feet 35,000 Why are we doing 30,000 meters Yeah Yeah

It's 10 kilometers up So you know Put that into perspective It's 350 kilometers Yeah Around the earth Now to put that Into perspective

If the earth Was the size Of a basketball Yeah How far off the surface Of the basketball Do you think The space station would be

At the hope I don't know I just said I've got a small basketball But Do you think the space station would be? At the hope. I don't know. I've got a small basketball, but imagine a standard-sized basketball. Wellington. Not Wellington. What are you talking about, Wellington? He's asking the questions and then poo-pooing it.

If the Earth was basketball-sized, how far off that basketball would the space station be? 30 centimetres. Your guess is 30 centimetres? A metre. It would be a metre. Two metres. So off a standard basketball, you think the space station's a metre off? Nah, I think it would be 100 metres.

100 metres off. Can I just say, you're getting further from the truth. I'm panicking. I'm panicking. To 100 metres. truth. Panicking. I'm panicking. To 100 metres. Panicking. I'm panicking too. I have no perspective. Because you've seen the pictures, right?

It's miles. You've seen the pictures from the stage. Tell us! 7 millimetres. What? From a basketball. 7 millimetres. Well, that's so close.

If the earth was the size of a basketball, it would be like less than your fingers width off going around. Why did you encourage me to go higher? You made it seem like it was more, more, more. No, you said 30 centimetres and I said 30 centimetres and then you said 100 centimetres and then you said 100 centimetres and then you said 100 centimetres. You're a bit of a prick for that.

Like you, I said a metre and you were like. And then I went, oh, Wellington, far away, and then you were like... So I was like, okay, well, a hundred metres... Basketball isn't always exactly here. This is something that you could pick up a basketball and say... Oh, my God. Okay, so next time you pick up a basketball, say...

Do you know if this was the Earth, the space station would be orbiting that far off and hold your little finger against it. If the Earth is a basketball, how far away is the moon? I don't have that statistic right here. Why wouldn't you? What do you want me to know everything? I do. If the Earth was a basketball,

how far away would the moon be? Take the string out of tape measure. Have students of the basketball and the tennis ball each take one end of the string and walk apart until the string is at its full length. It's in feet again. It's in feet again.

23 and a half feet and metres. Two metres. 7.1 metres away. So if the earth was a basketball and the moon was a tennis ball, they'd be seven metres apart. Someone just messaged saying, God, they complained about having too much info last week. Now they're complaining there's not enough info.

They're never happy. We're never happy. Thank you, Texter. I'm trying to make this as simple as possible for these two, I'll say it, morons. So, okay. For Space Week. To recap for Space Week.

If the Earth was the size of a basketball. Which it's not. Which it's not. Well, scale wise, if you held a basketball and you were on. Maybe if you were on the moon and you held a basketball at arm's length, the Earth would look the same size. Maybe. The International Space Station.

Who's taking a basketball to the moon? What wouldn't bounce? Michael Jordan. The aliens from Space Jam... Well, it wouldn't bounce. Michael Jordan? The aliens from Space Jam. They came via the moon. So if the Earth was the size of a basketball, the International Space Station would be about your little finger's width off going around,

and the moon would be seven metres away. Amazing. Okay, that's far. Wasn't that hard just to get that moon fact, was it? I added in the moon fact. Yeah, thank you for that. And that's how good I am, just on the fly. On the fly.

Just adding to it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I like to think of Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley on ZM as a safe space. As a space where we can hear, share and care. Oh, yeah, that's a new tagline. Wow, did you just come up with that? Yeah, that's good. That just came out. The reason I'm bringing this up is because I love a bit of Reddit.

I love a Reddit thread. And there is one on the go at the moment where people are just jumping on and talking about the things that they're fighting with their partner about at the moment. And a lot of the time it's not things like, oh, you know. He cheated. Yeah, he cheated or like we're in the middle of a divorce and like we're trying to work out the split with the kids or something.

It's like little funny things. Small little funny things like something they've done wrong or something that's just irking them or a fight that started from nowhere. And I feel like I want to take that idea and I want to roll with it and find out from our listeners

what you were fighting with your partner about at the moment. Shall I start? Oh no, I don't have a partner. Yeah, go on. Will you get the ball rolling? What's the last thing we had a fight about? We're pretty rock solid at the moment.

We're pretty rock solid, you know. Ain't nothing going to break our stride. No, I kind of remember. Was it something Reno related? Yeah, probably. The colour of something? Yes. This is ign of something? Yes. This is igniting something in me.

Because you just repainted a room, didn't you? We repainted a room. Was there an argument? We repainted a room and the argument was, he was like, you didn't say it was brown. I said, it's not brown, it's green. It's brown. I was like, I don't think it's brown.

There's a green that's brown. Yeah, like a dirty green. Because it was all sorbet-ish. And you've chosen this as a colour for a house. Yeah. A room inside a house. No, it's really nice. I'll show you.

I'll show you. It's really nice. The new colour looks better than the last colour. So much so. And it goes with the house more. But it is a dirty green. This is the colour. Oh, that's my cat.

That was so close. That could have been something dodgy. That's not great. This. That's green. It's a so close. That could have been something dodgy. That's not great. This. That's green. It's a nice green. But it's a dirty green. It's a dirty sage green.

And so we had an argument about what brown is and what green is. Okay. Right. Okay. I love that. I love that. Yeah. I got told, oh, don't smash that when I was putting up a new light shade.

Like it was what I was going, oh, don't smash that. Right. So you had an argument. I don't even know if S was putting up a new light shade. Like it was what I was going, oh, don't smash that. Right. So you had an argument. I don't even know if Sade knows she does it. She just constantly like, oh, that's, what was I? I was at the oven and she said, oh, that's a lot of something. Like she just obviously thinks something and just says it out loud, but it's always like, it just feels like someone going,

ain't not doing it right, ain't not doing it right, not doing it right. Yeah, yeah, right. By the time I counted on one drive, how many times she told me how to drive. Yes. And I was counting out loud. Okay.

And then, yeah. So here's some examples coming in from our lovely listeners already. We're just airing grievances. This is what we're doing. This is what we want, yeah. We're fighting about who would win in a cage fight. It's been going on for days. I would win.

I would, oh, I can't say that. You can say sack tap him. Sack tap him. Oh, yeah, right. So she goes straight for the ball. Wait, so you think that's a she fighting a he in a cage match? I guess... I'm going to need to see a photo. I'm going to need some stats. I'm going to need height and weight and previous fighting experience.

Training history. Like how... And when are we having this cage fight? Is it a lead up or is it like just going to happen one day? Yeah. I'm going to read this one. This is great. I angrily told my husband he's not funny and stop trying to be funny. And after quite some time, he randomly said seven.

I said seven what? He said seven times you've laughed since telling me I'm not funny. He is funny. Oh, my God. That's the kind of... He's seven times funny. That's the kind of... Okay.

I'm sorry, 981, but that's funny. That's funny. 0800 dials it in. I have a headache, and his only response ever is, how much water have you had? Now, as a water asker, I'm going to say, 9 out of 10 headaches are caused by dehydration. And 9 out of 10 tummy aches are caused by not being poos.

Exactly. When did you last poo and how much will be? Okay, 0800-DARLS-IT-M. We want you to give us a call now. You can text through 9696. What are you and your partner fighting about at the moment?

We are currently just letting you take the platform. It's our platform. We're sharing it with you to air your grievances. What are you and your partner fighting about at the moment? The great thread on Reddit.

People just offloading. And it's not like the serious things like getting a divorce. It's like the little silly things. Some of these messages are brilliant. We have had an update

because one couple text in moments ago saying they were fighting over the hypothetical who would win in a cage fight between them. Now we have had some stats.

I need stats. Okay, so he's six foot6", and I'm 5'5". Now, it's going to be hard to come back from a foot or so advantage. Bigger they are, harder they fall. Good on you for nabbing a big one. But I'm a personal trainer, and he's an academic. Oh, yeah. She's nimble.

She's going to get right in there, get him where it hurts, right in the bolos. Right in the sack. And he'll drop, and then she'll nail him in the face. Timber. And she says she's also given birth twice. Yeah, and she's a trainer. Yeah, come on, she's got this.

She's got this. I'm on team her. Someone also messaged in saying their relationship started with a fight about colour. Is burgundy red or purple? Now, that's a great debate. It's a reddish purple. Is burgundy red or purple? Now, that's a great debate. It's a reddish purple. It's a reddish purple, but which way is it leading? It really is a reddish purple.

That's great. I love that. Maybe more towards red would be mine. Someone said, I said to my husband, I'm smarter than him. He audibly laughed and told me, just because I know where all the kitchen utensils go, it doesn't make me smart. So they're what? Not talking now?

What, two days not talking? That feels like divorce is imminent. Jess, what are you and your partner currently fighting about? Morning, team. We have an ongoing argument that my husband intentionally opens packets of chips, biscuits, etc. upside down.

Why? With the argument that he's mixing the flavour back in that it'll to the bottom. Wait, wait, wait. We're not mad at that. You can only open

No, we are. No, Hayley, no. You can't be on the side of this. Sorry, I know, but I was like, actually makes a lot of sense. It's all dropped to the bottom. Yeah.

Flip it upside down. Open the bottom. It's gotten so bad that if I buy like a pack of chips or whatever in the shopping, I will open it the correct way and seal it with a bag clip and put it in the cupboard. Oh my God.

Because I can't cope with upside down chips. That is so funny. No, you're right. Women supporting women, I'll jump on your team. It's been seven years, guys. It's very traumatic. Did you ever do that thing where he opens it flat onto the table? That was when you open a bag of crisps and you open it and it lays it flat

like it's its own little placemat. Very messy. It's just going from the bottom. Yeah, it is. How does he open a bag of biscuits from the bottom? Like a packet? Because they have the plastic thing inside. Like a bag, like a farm-baked bag.

Oh, yeah, okay. He's a monster. He is a monster. And the kicker is that he will open like an individual serve packet, a little mini packet. He is a monster. And the kicker is that he will open, like, an individual serve packet, the little mini pack. He'll open that correctly. But he will open a large pack upside down.

Okay. No, that's, yeah. You might have a psychopath on your hands there. He can't fall now. Hey, Gibby. Jess, thank you. Kirsty, your husband and you are currently fighting. What about?

Just about things that need to get done around the house. He is a builder. So, of course, you know, the house will get finished. Our house is always last. Yeah. Oh, really? But, you know, he's been working all day, Kirstie. It's like I get home, I don't want to back announce Taylor Swift's song.

You just let the music play, don't you? I just let the music play. I don't say, that was Taylor Swift. And now here's SZA, you know? To the cat. I hear that. Yeah. So what needs to be done? What needs to be done? I really needed

a toilet roll holder pulled up because I was sick of the toilet pack that's just sitting in a pile, you know. And he wouldn't do it. He was too tired, so I got my brother-in-law to do it. Oh, that's insulting. You've insulted the man. I have.

I have. And so anyway, so to get back at me, he said to my son, who's 14, because the window was open in the bathroom, he said, honey, give your mum a fright through the window. Get back in there. And so it totally backfired because my son then climbed up on the barbecue by the window to give me a fright. And he fell off and broke his arm. Oh, no! Dad's in trouble.

Dad's in trouble. Dad's in trouble. Okay, yeah. And all he needed to do was put up the toilet roll holder. All he had to do was two screws. Two screws. What's that, 10 minutes max? Yeah, oh, max.

10 minutes max. Ah, max. 10 minutes max. Ah, Kirsty, thank you. Keep your texts coming in 9696. We'll get to the rest of them next. This is, we're really, we're relieving some stress here. We want to know right now what you and your partner are fighting about. We're having a collective little grievance airing. And it's beautiful.

It's beautiful to watch. Great messages coming in. Yeah. Oh, that's bad. I it's beautiful. It's beautiful to watch. Great messages coming in. Yeah. Oh, that's bad. I would hate that. My last argument with my husband was yesterday. I took over driving on our road trip and he put his chair back and started watching TikTok on the speaker. I'd been

staying awake and chatting the whole time. Oh, yeah. As the radio wasn't working. And he goes and does that. So now there's an argument. Susie, what are you and your partner fighting about at the moment? Well, this has been ongoing for about 10 years. So he thinks when you watch a season, so whatever season, he thinks a season is done even if you're on episode three,

whereas I'm saying the season won't be finished until you start the first episode of the next one. Wait, what do you mean? So he'll just watch a few eps and be like, I've watched it? Well, no. Like, if I say, oh, we've finished season three, he's like, we finished season three ages ago

because he thinks because you're in a season, that's the season. And then you talk about the next season. Wait, what? You've got to get to the end of the season. I know. Someone's like, let's talk about season 5. He's like, yeah, we've watched that. And he starts talking about episodes

4 through 12 and he hasn't seen those. He hasn't seen it. I know, and it's caused some very proactive thoughts of hate towards him. Susie, I think it sounds like Yardson's got rocks in his head. It sounds like he's a's got rocks in his head. It sounds like he's a small, cold child and needs a singlet.

Yeah, but we talked to Facebook about this. And no, they're divided. The planet is divided on this. Oh, no, we're in unison with you. You've got to go right to the end. You've not watched season five until season five, episode 12, if it's the 12 episodes, is done and dusted in the back. Exactly. No, apparently in his planet

and other people's season whatever you're on is done when you're in it. No, we can actually get it.

You must complete the season. You must complete the season. We have a good authority. We can hereby confirm. Yeah, that's anyone that sees anything else is an idiot

a moron. Thank you, Susie. Message is in. My husband and I are currently fighting over the fact he bought his daughter a $20,000 car without telling me. Jeez. That's probably something that makes a light discussion. This is an ongoing one.

My husband always uses the dishcloth to wash the dishes instead of a dish brush, which I think is disgusting. He's like, what's the difference? And if it's so gross, why are you smearing it across all the kitchen surfaces? Because I'm not eating raw off the kitchen surfaces. But it's... Why would it be water and edges?

If it doesn't need to be scrubbed, it doesn't need to be scrubbed, right? Okay. My husband and I have been... My fiancé and I have been fighting over what font we'll be using on our wedding stationery. Oh, that's a good start. Good start to a marriage. Just go Comic Sans, please, everybody. Going on for 20 plus years of marriage, husband never quite closes a cupboard or a drawer.

Always just a jar. Slightly. I then go through the house passively aggressive, slamming closed said cupboards and drawers. And so it will continue. It sounds like he's doing that on purpose, right? We're currently fighting over toilet paper. He likes this shit two-play stuff that we bought from Costco,

and apparently it's less than half the price of three-ply, which means you can use twice as much and make it four-ply and still be saving money. I can't deal with how bad it is. Oh, okay. You can't argue with his maths. Yeah. If it's two-ply and you can use twice as much, making it four-ply. Oh, no.

Yeah, but the long roll with the thick three is way to go. Long roll with a three ply. Our debate is, is the name Neil two syllables or one syllable? Neil. Neil. One. Neil.

Neil. I know. Neil. No, it's one syllable. No, it's kind of not. Neil. It's one. Fletchers.

Neil. Tongue touches the roof twice. Your tongue goes like that. Neil. Neil. Neil. Neil. No, it's Neil.

It's one syllable. No, Nell's one. Neil is Neil. Neil. No, it's Neil. It's one syllable. No, Nell's one. Neil is two. Neil. No, it's not. I'm sorry. People have divided. Google is inconclusive.

Fletch, don't bother Googling. I've already done this. Help us put this to bed once and for all. Neil. You're doing two movements. Should that be tomorrow's syllable poll? Is Neil one or two syllables? We'll do our own research, babe.

We've got you. We're doing the name, eh? We'll do that 071. 071, we're going to take care of that. It or two syllables? We'll do our own research, babe. We're doing the name, eh? We'll do that 071. 071, we're going to take care of that. It's two syllables. I'm a specialist literacy teacher. I would say Neil is two syllables. Neil.

Well, that's just their opinion, or is there a definite ruling here from... Well, we'll get our own ruling. Tomorrow's the little poll. The people will speak. The people will speak. That is democracy. Here to our social medias. All right, The people will speak That is democracy Manifest Into our social medias

Alright reality check radio This is democracy Manifest Somebody My husband won't use The bloody fridge handle He keeps handing The hand in

Bare hand in the fridge door And leaving fingerprints All over it I'm going bloody crazy I don't have a handle It's just You know An indent in the side

Yeah I don't think I've got a handle either We argue about if next Sunday is literally the next Sunday that will happen or the following week's Sunday This Sunday is this coming Sunday

Next Sunday is the Sunday after This Sunday Next Sunday means Sunday week Not the next Sunday Today This Sunday won't be the 20 Sunday. You were going to say it today. Yeah, it's not even open Sunday. Sunday won't be the 20-whatever. It'll be the one after.

It won't be the 23rd. That's my birthday. We're actually clearing up a lot of these arguments. Yeah. You're welcome. Great work, guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself. I'll do a 9.6.

Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.