ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 17th March, 2025

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

Festival compasses to find friends Vaughan wants a caravan Lucky girl syndrome Top 6 Flavours of snakes Do we have the same boob size? SLP - What way do you butter your bread? What we're watching Devil of Dublin for St Patricks Day What brand of car drivers are the worst? Hayley caught out for a new purchase Men are shaving their eyelashes Fact of the Day Have you kept a financial secret from a partnerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Thank you, Bryn Rudkin. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn Rudkin. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Top of the morning. Top of the morning to you. Top of the morning to you. To be sure. This is my personal favourite holiday.

You know, I'm very connected to the Irish. Yep. I like it too. I've actually worked on a little St. Paddy's Day treat for us later in the show. Yeah, I think this could be akin to blasphemy. It could be. Blasphemy? It could be. A little bit of blasphemy on the show.

I know, but not for the Irish this time. For a beloved New Zealand icon, legend, I perhaps have soiled it. Anyway. We'll deal with that later. Are you joining us for a Guinness later Fletch Not really a Guinness man Straight after the show

Straight after the show Breakfast Guinness Yuck I'd rather try to Oh To be sure No What's wrong with it

Why don't you have the potatoes When we have a Guinness Disgusting Oh It's good for you Good you're not invited anyway That's why I was asking The top six

Is it Top six Jesus Can you not even remember 20 minutes ago I do Good, you're not invited anyway. That's why I was asking. The top six. Is it? Jesus, can you not even remember 20 minutes ago? I do worry. No. About the brain. We need some, you need to be taking some omegas. Well, no, I was taken by surprise.

I was taken by surprise. Every morning, the top six is a surprise to me. It's not. It's your segment. Alan's. I know, and that's what's surprising. I've been left with responsibility. Yeah.

Next thing you'll be telling me, I've got children to look after. Next you'll be telling me there's a fact of the day at the end of the show. Okay, I've got that sorted. I'm really looking forward to that. Theme this week, smell. Okay. But the top six. The top six is coming up.

I don't know what these would smell like, but Allens have said the orange lolly is no, the orange snake is no longer orange. Yes. Flavoured. Yuck. It was a bit of a mystery there for a while.

It is passion fruit flavoured. Which to me is a purple. See, I'd rather have an orange than a passion fruit flavoured anything. Yeah, why did they get rid of the orange? I hate orange.

Yeah. Some investigation into that and the top six other flavours of snake. I think they should be introduced. Okay. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. I flavours of snake, I think they should be introduced. Okay. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley.

I don't know how I feel about this because I go to concerts. For example, I went to a concert last weekend and in order, because there's lots of people around, whenever I'm at a concert with anyone, I'll always make sure we've got Find My Friends on so that if we were to get separated, I'd be able to like find you. Yeah, but that doesn't work that great. Like if you're inside Spark. I'll just say you're also inside Spark. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Like it doesn't hone in that close. But let's say you had a friend who was prone to wandering off. Yeah. And heading into town. And finding them outside the venue. Yeah. Heading into town.

Yeah, you log on. Is this you? Are you that friend? I'm the friend prone to Yeah. Heading into town. Yeah, you log on. Is this you? Are you that friend? I'm the friend prone to wandering off and heading into town. You know when I feel I've had enough. Yeah. So for everyone's safety, it's great to have Fireman on. These would have been great at homegrown for people at the weekend.

These would have been great. I mean, it's the last time in Wellington. And it's spread out. It's spread out. Yeah. So these little devices are called totems. It's like a new kind of like a kickstart business. You know what I mean?

Like a new fresh tech thing called totems. They're on like a small lanyard, I'd say. And it's a little disc and it has this little kind of pointy arrow thing. Like a compass? It is exactly like a compass. So you can buy, you can sync up five of them. So you've got a totem and you can connect to four different totems.

Yep. And then you put them on and then you sync them all together with your friends and you wear them and it points you like in the direction like a compass

with where everyone else is. So if there's somewhere near the front of the stage, you just follow your and be that person that's rudely kind of zigzag. Yeah, excuse me. And like hold my hands

and everyone's in a chain and you're like, whoa, girls. I've been standing here for hours, please. But the good thing. The chain of woman, give me strength. There's always a chain of woman. Who do you think you are? Just stronger now that you're in a chain. So two good things about this.

One, it works without Wi-Fi. Or if you were to lose your phone, you don't need your phone. And that's the other thing, because at a festival, your battery's gone by the end of it. Yeah. You've lost your handbag. Or if you were to lose your phone, you don't need your phone. And that's the other thing, because at a festival, your battery's gone by the end of it. Yeah. You've lost your handbag. Or there's no reception. Or it's fallen out of your pocket or whatever.

Like, if you lose your phone, the whole find my friends thing is like a waste of time. And it can go up to a kilometre. Okay, wow. So you're a kilometre apart and it would still point you towards each other. They're pretty cool. They're like bigger than I would like.

Yeah, they're quite a big disc, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why my reference is the size of a menstrual cup. I don't know. I would have said a small. A cookie. A small cookie.

A farm bake? Yeah. Slightly bigger than a farm bake cookie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundreds and thousands biscuit? Those Pam's decadent chocolate chip cookies. I don't know those. I'm not posh.

Dude, you've got to get on board. Smaller than a digestive. It's Pam's. It's not posh. Okay, it's Pam's, my dude. And they're the best bickies. Smaller than a digestive, bigger than a squiggle. Right.

And they will last the whole festival. Last the whole festival. Good battery life. And yeah, you can kind of sync up. Right. They're called Totem. Or just like meet your friends later, like you'll be fine, you'll find them. Yeah, or just like don't drink too much at a festival

so you end up being lost and getting separated, do you know what I mean? Rich advice from you. Oh, I'm just, you know, do as I say, not as I do. I'm just going to give it to you straight. I want a caravan. Okay. I want a caravan. So. I want a caravan. So you go camping at the weekend?

Yeah, I've been camping a couple of times and going again this weekend. But as a child, we had a caravan. Yep. My parents thought it was a sound idea for a holiday. My parents hated it. Because my dad liked smacking. Yep.

And so when we misbehaved. A swing room. Yeah, when we misbehaved, he'd have to smack us, but everyone could hear it. Whereas growing up on a farm, they can't hear you scream. Private smack. It's like being in space. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Although once I remember, I might have been in my 21st, the neighbours who we grew up with were just like, oh, yeah, we used to hear you kids getting it. And they would have lived hundreds of metres away in a straight line. So, okay, you've gone. So my parents hated it. So we had a caravan for maybe three summers. And then my dad was just like, no way.

We sold it. Two parents, three children. Yes. My sister slept inside of my brother and I slept in an awning. So the awning was on the outside. Isn't that crazy? That just sounds like hell on earth. You wouldn't catch Patsy dead in a caravan with kids.

No. What about without? No. No. She's not a caravan. No, no, no. We're hotel people. Do you know what I mean?

We're hotel people. Yeah. I don't want to seem better than you, but we're hotel people. You're a hotel people. See, I sat at a campground at the weekend and I loved it. Oh, God. Really? Yeah, I do.

I don't know. Because I don't like people on a whole. I know. This is very surprising that you don't want to ever leave your house and now you want to get a caravan? I like community, I've decided. I don't like people, but I quite like that community feeling. Right.

Like I like community events and stuff. Yeah. But I don't like people. Yeah. Okay. The very thing that makes up the community. Yeah. Individually, that can be a problem.

But if everybody's working towards a common goal, like at a camp, it sounds like how a commune starts. Yeah, dude. Yeah, it does a little bit. Big commune energy. If you were in a commune, do you think you'd be the leader or a follower?

No, I'd be up there, but I don't think I'd be leader. You'd be on the committee. You'd be on the committee. I'd be on the committee. Yeah. I'd be like Gloria Vale, how'd be on the committee. I'd be on the committee. Yeah. I'd be like Gloria Vale, how they always show that committee of old white guys. I reckon don't.

Bad analogy. Bad analogy. Yeah, bad analogy. Okay, so I'm on the committee. Yeah, yeah. But I'm not the leader. You're going to use it never. No.

And these things cost money. And then they look ugly in your driveway. And they're ugly. They're ugly. They could be cute. They're like little stupid pods. Yeah. On wheels.

A little retro pod. Are you going to get a retro one? I want an older one, yeah. So nothing works, it leaks, and it's a bit mouldy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit like that. A little bit like that. But I just like, the tent was good, but like, as you mentioned, if it rains, it's not much

fun in a tent. No. And the caravan's really, you have all your stuff in it, so you just hook it up and away you go. Versus setting up a tent and having. And the caravan's already, you have all your stuff in it, so you just hook it up and away you go. Versus setting up a tent and having to pack everything. This is screaming midlife crisis. It's screaming midlife crisis. This is alternative to like a convertible and a young bride.

There's enough room for the kids. I was going to say Thai bride. You've got one of those technically. How many baby boomers are like, you know what? We're going to sell up and get a mini bus and we're going to travel around the country and up and get a mini bus and we're gonna travel around the country

and they do it for six months and they're like that sucks but you hear about the ones that do it for like ever for ever they love it

and they just in the summer they go down south and then in the winter they just head up to the winterless north I'm concerned you know what I'm hearing

because Aaron gets back he's been away on a big camping trip for three weeks he gets back today and I reckon this conversation on a big camping trip for three weeks. He gets back today, and I reckon this conversation will be echoed. Like he was messaging me yesterday to say how much of a great time he's had

and already planning the next one. And I'm like, I know he's going to come back and be like, do you know what would be so much easier than pitching the tent everywhere? Having a caravan. Having a caravan. Why don't you guys get a caravan and go on your little boys trips?

And spoon and get a bit gay. He's a big man. Get a bit gay with him. He'll get up in the middle of the night to go out of the caravan and the whole thing will go squirt. Oh yeah, and he and get a bit gay. He's a big man. He'll get up in the middle of the night to go out of the caravan and the whole thing will go squirt. Oh yeah,

and he'll have to bend over. Yeah, he's going to be hunched and he's going to need an extra tall caravan. Yeah. In fact, I don't think I've ever

been in a caravan that would accommodate his height. No. This is how we lose you. You'll just end up living in the bush in a caravan.

Yeah. And you'll be like, guys, I'm not coming in. I've just realised I don't need income where I am. Yeah.

Yeah. So best of luck to you. And then you'll be a sovereign citizen. Yeah. We'll see you on the news. On the run. Yeah. And you'll be like, guys, I'm not coming in. I've just realised I don't need income where I am. Yeah, yeah. So best of luck to you. And then you'll be a sovereign citizen. Yeah. We'll see you on the news. On the run. Yeah. Me and Tom.

Indian Org, they'll have to come find you in the bloody. Yeah. Well, I'll give them one of those compasses you just talked about. I'll give them a location. Once they get there, they'll be within a kilometre and then they can use the festival compass. Yeah. Play.

ZM. Spletchvorn and Hayley. Okay, the girlies on TikTok are using the term Lucky Girl Syndrome. It's basically a form of manifestation. You know, if you say it and... What was that thing in the 2000s? The secret? The secret.

Oh my God, my dad read that. Yeah. The secret. Wasn't it based on Buddhist beliefs? Was it? Yeah, I think so. About you put it out to the universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like that lotto one at the weekend that didn't happen. I don't think you put it out hard enough. Oh, right. You've got to go harder. Do you know what's funny? Because when my dad was running his company, he definitely read a lot of like Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Oh, yeah.

And The Secret and all those. What happened to Rich Dad, Poor Dad? Didn't he get done? Isn't he in millions of dollars of bankruptcy or something? No, I think he's still all right. Or he's just in his Poor Daddy era. No, I think he's still Rich Dad. Who was the guy that the barefoot investor, was that him?

I know one of those guys that wrote the books and stuff. It all went tits up. It often does with those because they just preach so hard one way. Yeah. I don't know, but my dad read The Secret at the same time and he definitely always told us about, you know, the power of the universe and what you put out, you get back.

And I don't disagree with it. He's still doing YouTube stuff. Robert Kiyosaki. Yeah, yeah, he's still rich by the looks of it. So he's still Rich Dad. He's still Rich Dad, yeah. He has been accused of running a fraudulent education course that is simply pressuring people to spend money

and to buy the next course. Yeah, but that's why he's Rich Dad. That's when I always see those ads. It's like, want to know how to make lots of money in real estate? I'm always like, why are you telling everybody? You should just be focusing on making it all for yourself. I want to share it with you. It's like, why? Yeah.

I don't know. But yeah, the secret. That was the one that was about the power of positive thinking. Yeah. My family definitely, like, lives this way, but I sometimes, because this lucky girl syndrome, literally the words lucky girl, I say it all the time. I remember a couple of years ago, something big happened

in our life, to me and Aaron. We were like, far out. Like, how are we going to get through this? And I remember saying to him, like, don't worry about it. You're with me. I'm a lucky, lucky girl. Stick with me, yeah. Yeah, and he was like, but we, there's nothing to say that this is going to work out in the way.

And I was like, but Aaron. But that's just having a positive outlook really, isn't it? Is it the lucky girl syndrome, positive outlook, positive energy gets positive reward? Or is it entitlement and privilege? It's entitlement and privilege. It's white arrogance. It's white arrogance. It's white arrogance for me.

I'm like, oh, this will work out. And if you really boil it down to why, it's because I'm a white middle-class male. Yeah, totally. And the world's just kind of geared toward me. Yeah, yeah. Like I'm a lucky, lucky girl isn't because of my manifestation, the positivity and the energy and the planets aligning.

Yeah. It's because I was born with enough money and parents. A hundred percent. Do you know what I mean? And a safety net. And a safety net. Like if it all went bad, I could go back to my parents next week. Yeah, you could totally.

You know, my parents would be like, of course, of course. And then you'll get there and you'll be like. No, they wouldn't want me, but they'd have me. It's a safety net. It's like why you'd be in the garage. You'd be in the garage.

You're in the garage. You're not getting in the main house. No, absolutely not. I wouldn't expect the main house. I love the outside room. It's perfect. You're a lucky, lucky boy, but you're not that lucky.

But it's like walking across a tightrope, right? If you've got the safety net underneath you, you'd be like, yeah, I'll give it a go. But like people who don't, I just like, I don't know if I'd do a tightrope, right? If you've got the safety net underneath you, you'll be like, yeah, I'll give it a go. But people who don't, I just like, I don't know if I'd do a tightrope even with a safety net, to be honest. I have no interest in tightroping myself, personally. I don't have the balance for it.

I'll do a slack line in a park. I'm top-heady. Because it's a foot off the ground. You need a slack line in a park? Well, all right, hemp pants. Why don't you smoke some marriage marijuana? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

From Vaughan's free trial of Microsoft Word, this is The Top Six. Hello there. It's been revealed after some secrecy that Alan's orange snake is no longer orange flavoured. They've changed the flavour. It was kind of like, guess what? And it turns out it's passion fruit.

Which to me should be a light yellow or purple snake. But I guess a good passion fruit, if you take out the seeds, which are predominantly black and other ones that shoot straight through you, it is kind of orange, the gooey, the yummy gooey flesh of the passion fruit. It's mustard. It's yellowy

orange. But yellow's already spoken for. But orange was already spoken for. I would have thought orange would have been one of the passion fruit. It's yellowy orange. But yellow's already spoken for. But orange was already spoken for. Why is orange so? I would have thought orange would have been one of the top flavours. Oh, yuck. I hate orange. I always leave the yellow

and then the orange. No, yellow's yum. No. Is it? Yeah. No. I don't know. It's just...

Green's trash. I always leave the yellow fruit tubes. I'm like, no. Apparently, it was apricot. It was orange way back in the day. Then it was apricot. It definitely didn't taste like apricot. No,. Apparently, it was apricot. It was orange way back in the day, then it was apricot.

It definitely didn't taste like apricot. No, it didn't taste like apricot. Maybe mentally because I was eating it and it was orange. You thought it was orange.

Are they the snakes? Alan's? No, I'm thinking Natural Confectionery Company. Alan's ones are the classic snakes. Yeah, because the Natural Confectionery Company

are the ones that are like no artificial flavours. These are orange. These are orange. Orange tastes like orange. Yeah. Okay, well the Owlons ones taste better. I reckon the better snakes too. Just gonna say it. Natural confectionery. Yeah, you do. Best gummies. Best gummies. Across the board, the dinosaurs. Sour worms.

Yeah. Yeah. The dinosaurs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The squirms. Squirms are sour worms. Squirms! How could the squirms squirm me up? Dinosaurs. Don't say that again. Squirm me up. I hated squirm me up by the way. Yeah, that it works. Squirms! Yum! How could the squirms squirm me up? Dinosaurs? Don't say that again. I hated squirm me up, by the way. Yeah, that wasn't... Squirm on over? Squirm on me.

I'm actually, if you keep this up, I'm going to go to HR. Put a squirm in my mouth. No, I'm going to go to HR. Squirm all over me. One more? You want to come to HR? Yeah, one more and I'm out.

Mouthful of squirm? All right. Okay. That's it. We've had enough. We're off. We've got HR. Put a squirm in my hands.

Okay. Squirm in the pocket. Today's top six. I no longer feel good in this work environment. Top a squirm in my hands. Okay. Squirm in the place. Today's top six. I no longer feel good in this work environment. Top six snake flavours for Alan's to try. As soon as they're just going and rewriting the rules of what colour is what flavour. Number six on the list, egg and cream. It's the best Macintosh flavour.

Yum. Why has no one made an egg and cream flavour? Yuck. I love it. Egg and cream Macintosh. Good. That's the best one. Top tier Macintosh.

Do they still at the dairy? Who does them at the dairy and they're like real long, like a foot or something long snakes? The snakes. The mega snakes. Oh, look at the big snakes. Yeah.

Those are good. I don't think there was any specific brand that did those. No, I think it was. I think it was just dairy snakes. Giant Asian gummy snake, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of a,

they always felt a little dusty. But if you had, I think it's sort of a stick. If you had a dollar though, and you were putting together your mix, you couldn't get one of those because it took up a lot of the. Too much room, too much money. Too much room. But you can get those long, long, long snakes. Number five on the list of the top six snake flavours for Alan's to try.

Steak. The steak snake. Yuck. What colour is that? Brown. Brown. Brown. You think it's cola?

And you're like, that's not cola. Yeah, yeah, that's not cola. It's delicious, though. It's steak. All right, number three. Number four on the list of the top six. I've just found some that are 30 centimetres long. Yeah.

Rainbow Confectionary. Do you remember the Mega Crocs? Yeah. Yes. Rip your teeth out. Yeah, they were huge, man. Yeah. Calorie-wise, I think you could have survived a week on that.

Oh, shut up with your calories. Who's thinking about calories when they put into either a dollar mix at the dairy? When they're saying, squirm on over. No. Squirmy here. You're a thin ice boy. I'm a big squirmy guy. No.

Squirmy in my mouth? Jamaican me squirm? Yeah, that's what the spicy squirms. Yeah. Jamaican me squirm? Yeah, that's one of the spicy squirms. Yeah. Jamaican me squirm. Stop it. Number four on the top six.

Of the top six are snake flavours to Alan's salt and vinegar. Why not? Roll the dice. That'd be weird, eh? You put it in your mouth and you're expecting

something sweet and it's like really like high end savoury. Number three on the list of the top six snake flavours for Alan's to try chocolate chips. I wouldn't be against a snake

with a chocolate chip in it. Lollies and chocolate they're so different. Like gooey like a gooey almost like a cream and you know those milkshake lollies? Like caramel cream type. Yeah but then with chocolate chips in it. Okay. Doable. Number two on the list of the top six snake flavours for

Alan's to try. Sriracha. Oh, a snake. Just a little spicy snake. I don't know about that. Sweet and spicy goes well together. Put your hot and spicy squirm. Yeah. Or no. Stop with the squirms. Okay? Number one. You're making me really squirm with it. Okay?

You're making me uncomfortable. And number one on the list of the top six snake flavours for Alan's tray. Snake. Imagine eating a snake. People eat snake, eh? Yeah, you can eat snake. Tough? Once you've got the, I don't know.

Not if you've cooked it right, because they're effectively just one big muscle, right? They're just a series of muscles. Get the scales off. Imagine just using a peeler. And you'd have. Get the scales off. I imagine just using a peeler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those great peelers seen on TV. Get the cat out of the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take out the eggs and whatever they're swallowing the hole. Small tourist. And a couple of squirms. And get it on the barbecue. That is today's top six.

Now, we've got a bit of a problem. We are currently, the three of us, costing this station money because the three of us have become unreasonably attractive in the last 12 months. And as a result, we have to redo our photo shoot. Ah. So that's, yeah. We've become unrecognisably hotter.

Right. Since our last photo shoot. And they were like, guys, like people look at the imagery and they go, but that doesn't line up with who's actually doing the show. I think they just do it every year. No, I heard that the conversation with the design team and the powers that be was no one recognises them from their show imagery. Especially Hayley, that's what they said.

They were like, what was she thinking? The pink hair and she's just all out of it. And then they see me, they're like, doesn't line up. Right. So we're doing a new photo shoot, aren't we? We're excited. We love a photo shoot, the three of us. Especially you boys.

I just find it so uncomfortable. No, it's going to be great. There's makeup and there's doing faces. It's a whole thing. It is a whole thing. Remember last time they said I've got a cold face? I've never, ever let it go.

The sort of cold face that would turn off potential listeners and or clients who might like to spend money on the station. And I said, I'm more than a cold face. But they told you to warm it up and then you did a smile and they went, what is that? Make it genuine.

Yeah. It's something. Yeah. It was pained. Yeah. We're working on it. That's another reason. Yeah.

You know? So as part of this, we got the email of, you know, the stylist wants to start looking for clothes and can you send your sizes and your measurements? So Shannon brought in her tape measure. Now we've done this before. We all measure. The boys don't know how I measure them. Makes Fletch uncomfortable because it feels too much like a hug.

Oh, it's very, very touchy. I'll wrap my arms around. Lucky there was no ins. What do they do? Oh, yeah, the inseam. The inseam. Which is basically ball to ankle. Yeah.

No inseam. I didn't do the boys' inseam. But we made the discovery that Fletch has got lovely, juicy tits. Okay, I wouldn't have said it like that. We've spoken about this. Did we speak about this on a podcast? That you had the same diameter around the chest as Shannon. As Shannon, who has outwardly said she's a juicy gal.

You remember last time we talked about it, her Instagram followers shot up. And I was like, I'm suddenly really interested in this producer and these juicy girls. Well, yeah. I'll say numbers wise, I go a 16E. Am I a 16E? I mean, it depends on how your band. Jesus, those are some whoppers.

So my, you call it the bust. That's the bust measurement. It's at the nipple, right? My bust measurement. Which I found weird, but Hayley flicked mine to find out where it was. And I was like, that's exactly where it is. So my bust is 103 centimetres. Yeah.

That's a metre around. No, but mine's the same. That's outrageous. I'm 103 on the dot. You're in great shape. What are you talking about? That's great. It's a powerful chest.

Okay. I love the idea that we equate it to you having the same size tartars as the two juicy gals. But I'm the same as you now. Yeah, I'm the same as me now because I've increased in burbage. There's a thing called sister sizes. So we would all have different band sizes and cups. Yeah.

But we are all circumferably the same. The sisterhood of the trampoline bra. Wait a minute, she said circumferably. That's not a word. It felt right. It is now. I really liked it. I really liked it, but Iably. Is that not a word? It felt right. It is now. I really liked it, but I don't believe it's a word. We are circumferably the same.

Yeah. So yeah, Fletch would probably be like, I don't know, like an 18A or something. Yeah, dude. Yes, he would. Would I have big knockers? No, tiny knockers. Tiny knockers.

The letter is how full the breast is. The number is how far around it is. Right. If there was a boob man in studio, it's... It's God's pleasure. This dude loves tits. Loves them. Fine.

Stop saying that, please. There's nothing he doesn't know about a breast. So your cup, you're so right. He'd be like a 18 AA. Yeah. AA is itty bitty titty committee. Flat but round. That's all good. Okay. Good. Yeah. Wait, tell everybody how

big my tits are. So we're 103. It's your bust. How big's his tits? So we're 103 and Vaughan is 106. So Vaughan officially has the juiciest tartare. Are you getting a message, Shannon? I'm getting some male followers. Shut up. Sam and Zach.

Shut up. Shut up, Zach. Liam and Zach. Let me just check if my followers have gone up since. They should have, right? I haven't had a single follow. Yeah, because you're a bloody 18 AA. And she just said that she's a 14 E.

Is that right? I'm a surfboard. You're a surfboard and she's got the juice. I haven't got any. Oh, hold on. No followers. No followers. None for me. Just Shannon. A really obvious AI bot followed

me four hours ago, but no followers on the fact that I've got the biggest boobs! Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Fletchbourne and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. We asked you how do you butter your toast because Fletch goes up and down the bread but he also puts the bread wrong by 90 degrees.

It's so weird. He goes portrait, not landscape. Yeah, it's a landscape toast and then from left to right. It's quicker that way. You go portrait up and down. It's not. It's the same surface area. It's quicker.

It's up, down, done. The up, down thing is the oddest thing. Side, side, side. You're doing three rows of buttering. No. You are. Oh my God, same size knife, same amount of butter, same size bread. It's the weirdest thing I've seen.

Yeah, it's not good. How do you butter your toast? Do you go up and down like Fletch, is what we asked. It was a video demonstrating. Or side to side like Vaughan and Hayley and normal people who respect themselves and the world and respect lovely piece of toast

yeah 22% better like you do that's more than I thought so that's you know like one in five about

whereas 78% of people go like us side to side I'm interested in the feedback right I can't believe I'm so different to everyone else

it's okay to be different. It feels good, eh? Yeah. What do you... What if I do both? I do one stroke and then rotate the toast and repeat until I've got all four corners done. She's rotating toast.

That's too much. Yeah. Calm down. It's a piece of toast. That's a lot. M says, but Loki, why haven't we been buttering both sides? That would be a delightful piece of toast. Because the plate gets sticky. Yeah, but only if you're making toasties. It's too sticky. Do buttering both sides? That would be a delightful piece of toast. Because the plate gets sticky.

Yeah, but only if you're making toasties. It's too sticky. Do you butter both sides? I had a toastie for breakfast yesterday and I put a fried egg on top. Ham, cheese, onion toastie. Yeah. Fried egg on top like a croque madame

or whatever it's called. Delish. Yum. Fantastic. Thank you. Yeah. I nailed it. Big night, was it?

Nah, not at all. Oh. Nah. That's my big night, next day energy. I know. I just looked in the fridge. I saw ham, cheese, and I knew I had bread. It was meant to be. Yeah. Gorgeous. It must be a knacky thing, Fletch. Up and down all the way from

Georgia, fellow Terran Anakian. Yeah, because, I mean, we're better people. That's for sure. I don't disagree. Ah, yeah. I kind of go diagonal. Top right, bottom left, then go up and go top left, bottom right. Oh, goodness. People need to calm down. You're a loose goose.

Side to side looks lame. Hashtag team Fletch. Thank you. Looks lame. Thank you. Well, Sarah, those are words of war. When you saw me do it, it's quite manly, isn't it? It's quite authoritative.

There's nothing nice about it. Real flicky wrist. Yeah, real flicky wrist. That's all I'll say. But limp in the wrist. Okay, okay. Charlotte says, my mum always taught us a song. Down across, across.

What? Down across, across. So you go down the right-hand side, then across the top, then back along the bottom. I don't think that song is a thing. Down across, across. That's not a song. That's three words.

Butter you're tossed. I do up and down But after bringing this up at the pub I've been told East, south, west, north I love that silly little poem Was discussed at the pub I know that's so good

So good But east, south, west, north Is insanity East, east, east, south Oh so you know Yeah no that's No no My way was efficient

I'll just say my way Was very quick and efficient. This has started a big fight in my flat. On the Lord's Day of all days, how could you do this to us? From Courtney. I do apologise, Courtney. Yeah, apologise. It was such a controversial silly little pile.

I'd say we've, it's discussed at a pub, it's causing a flat rift. Who are you? We've got some texts in. I agreed with Fletch with the technique until I heard about the portrait buttering, psycho. Yeah. Someone said I butter with aletch with the technique until I heard about the portrait buttering, psycho. Yeah. Someone said I butter with a spoon and it's a game changer. Yeah, it's because you smush it. I've done that too. You've got to get that semi-soft butter and then you just kind of like smush

it around the edges. It's like pizza sauce with a spoon. Yeah, but you've kind of got to put a bit of downward pressure on it. Vogels are a thick cut okie-dokie, but anything else you're going to rip. Someone said if it's Vogels, I butter one toast and then turn it butter side down on the other unbuttered toast and then press down and butter the top. The excess butter drips off.

Ooh. Hello. Sexy. That's hot. That's hot stuff. That's hot stuff. And that silly little pie. And I'm in a 22% minority.

It's nice, eh? Being a minority for once. Wow. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You guys have spoken about the TV series Reacher before. And I think you might have

told me the premises and I was like, that is not my cup of tea. When it comes to watching telly, I like either like super arty things or comedies. Or trash reality show.

Or like big steaming turd trash. But speaking of which, we have a maths... I know, we've got Jamie from maths. I know. We've got a treat this week. Who's Jamie from maths? We've got a treat this week for maths fans.

Is she a Kiwi? No, no. That's Jackie. You know this. That's Jackie. Yeah, Vaughan, you know this. You know this. Yeah.

That's... I know. I'm so... I'm beside myself. Joining us on the show this week And we did put up a box actually For questions Yes

On our Instagram Because she is in the Middle of it right now Anyway Yeah Eight o'clock tomorrow Is it Yep

Oh my god I want to wear something cute She's so cool Anyway Reacher We talked about Reacher And you guys told me What it was about

Some ex-military And I was like Ooh no Excuse me This is how you guys Talk about TV Retired told me what it was about some ex-military and I was like ooh no. Excuse me. This is how you guys talk about TV. Retired crime

Jack Reacher crime like especially Fletch crime crime crime He loves a police procedural. I love my crime.

NYPD blue sheriffs. Doctor medical cop boys. SWAT guys from Miami. This kind of came on your radar because the new season has just come out, which I'm waiting until it ends and I'm saving it all up.

Not why it came on my radar. Not why it came on my radar. Alan Richson is the reason it came on your radar. The girlies put it on my radar. Who was in New Zealand at the end of last year or start of this year? Or is here now? Why was I not in Why did no one say to me? has put it on my radar. Who was in New Zealand at the end of last year or start of this year or is here now? Yeah. Why was I not informed?

Why did no one say to me? There's a six foot five absolute beefcake of a man whose pectorals are the size of... Fuck. Dude, and those jeans when he walks around because in Reacher all he ever wears

is a t-shirt and jeans and boots. Except when he takes all his clothes off. I am beside myself that it's taken me so long. Why did people not know to tell me that? Do you know what I mean? Why did people not say, have you seen- Fletcher and I ogle him so much that surely you would have picked up on it.

No, I didn't realise. And then it came up on my Instagram reels and I was like, the hell is this show? And it was him walking through a doorway, ducking, one of the hottest things you can do when you walk through a doorway. Yeah. Huh? And I was like, what the hell is this show? And I saw it was Re walking through a doorway, ducking. One of the hottest things you can do when you walk through a doorway. Yeah. And I was like, what the hell is this show? And I saw it was Reacher.

Yeah. I mean, the riding and the performances, that's what's kept me. Is it? But jeez Louise, I'm absolutely loving it. He's a monster, right? I got no sleep last night because I was bloody up watching and I was like, one more episode, one more episode. Right.

And then she jumps in the shower with him and I was like, one more episode. Anyway. Because my dad reads these books. My dad doesn't watch the show, but more episode, one more episode. And then she jumps in the shower with him and I was like, one more episode. Anyway. Because my dad reads these books. My dad doesn't watch the show, but Lee Child is the author, right? Which is Dad on Holiday 101. Yeah. So Aaron's dad reads these books.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's Tom Clancy and- Steamy for my Catholic father-in-law. And Lee Child are the two dad authors. Well, look, I'm delighted. I needed a new show. And you found it. Have you watched the movie Unwarly?

Yes. Because that's got Henry Cavill and Alan Rich. Yeah. My two boys. Gentleman of Ungodly Warfare or something like that. Ungodly something like that. It was Ungodly Warfare. It was cool.

Based on a real story. Yeah. Awesome. Great. That was a good watch. It's got Henry Cavill in it. And then, I'm a bit flustered.

I'm just like elated to have a new show to watch. It's so bizarre because it's not the kind of show that you would normally be into. You're just watching it because of literally him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rest of it, I'm like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Just keep going, keep going.

And the guns, and the guns and the cars and the deaths. So speaking of shows, White Lotus is currently on, a new episode today. I'm behind, I'm behind, I'm behind. I'm saving that all up. See, I wanted to save it all up, but you just can't avoid the spoilers.

I think you've got to be watching weekly. Someone said someone's, I mean, we know this with White Lotus. Someone always dies. Someone's going to die. But I think someone, I think there could be extra people dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's heating up. I think you've got to be watching it daily.

Also, another show on Neon, because that's on Neon, The Pit, which is that new medical drama with Noel Wiley, who... Oh, it's one of your cop ward emergency room movies. No, it's the medical ones as well. It's a medical drama. No, I'm not really that into medical dramas.

I mean, it's no graze. This is so well. It's a medical drama. No, I'm not really that into medical dramas. I mean, it's no grace. This is so realistic. It is so good. It looks gritty. What's the other one you said? It's all one shot. Adolescence. Adolescence.

So that is the number one show on Netflix pretty much in every country around the world. With Stephen Graham, who's one of my favourite actors. And each episode is one shot, right? Each episode, it doesn't cut away. It'll stop. That's phenomenal. Each episode's like a tie.

And so it's about the first episode is the first scene they bust in. Well, the first scene. It is all one scene, right? When there's no cuts. They bust in and arrest like a 13-year-old for murder. For murder. And the parents are just like, what? And then it's this whole thing about, it's incredible.

There's so much good stuff to watch at the moment. Let alone there's still, Severance is still going. I'm behind on that too. Severance I'm also saving up. Yeah, there's not too many spoilers out there. God, there's so much to watch. So much to wrap your eyeballs around. And math.

And then there's maths. And then there's maths. Join us tomorrow with Jamie. This is what I can't understand. It's balanced, babes. It's called balanced. We've got a world of content and people are choosing maths. No offence.

You can't write the storylines for maths. Now, we thought Jamie was destined for love. You can't. And some argue, probably shouldn't have. Oh my God. I'm so excited. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Now, after this, Vaughan and I are going to have a Guinness because that's how we Irish celebrate. And Fletch said, ooh, yuck, no thank you,ughan and I are going to have a Guinness because that's how we Irish celebrate. And Fletch said, ooh, yuck, no thank you, yuck, I'm going to the gym. Yeah. And then we tried to convince him that you can have a Guinness and go to the gym. You were telling me people run marathons on Guinness.

Yeah, it's a superfood. It's a whole meal. It's a superfood. You talk about gut health, it's a superfood. It's disgusting. It's not. Anyway, to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, I was like, I've got a little treat for us. Because as you know, I, boy, oh, boy, I like the Irish accent so much.

Yep. Irish accent is always on the top of the sexiest accent list, isn't it? Yeah. No. No. Yeah, always. Sometimes it can get a little leprechaun-y. Do you know, oh, you meet someone, you're like, don't, you know.

Yeah. But deep Irish accent really gets me. Now, my favourite. It's sing-. But deep Irish accent really gets me. Now my favourite. It's sing-songy. Lyrical, yeah. The Southern Irish, and then the Northern Irish is that real hard. Yeah. That real hard.

Anyway, so you know that my favourite narrator of all time is the Devil of Dublin. Yes. He narrates spicy things. Yeah. And I like to listen to his voice. And so I thought for St. Patrick's Day, maybe I would reach out in a completely non-creepy way

to Eric, The Devil of Dublin, and ask him to make a little treat for our listeners. And he was like, absolutely. I can't do it. Yes, absolutely. And he was like, do you want me to read like a little Irish smart or something like that?

And I was like, no, I think something that... Is wholesome. Wholesome. And that all of New Zealand can enjoy your voice. So this, what I have here, I think I might need a little bit of like, have you got a bit of soft kind of sexy music? You had that. too ready to go. This is...

Just above my incorrect buzzer. Oh yeah, great. Can I have the incorrect buzzer? That's the correct, yeah. Not really the vibe I'm... And then I have sexy music ready to go at all times. Please enjoy the dulcet tones of my favourite narrator, the Devil of Dublin, reading to you,

Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy. Oh, Hayley, no! No, it's a beautiful rendition. Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy, read by the Devil of Dublin. Out of the gate and off for a walk went Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy. And Hercules Morse, as big as a horse, with Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy and Hercules Morse as big as a horse with

Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy schnitzel von crumb with a very low tongue blitzer maloney all skinny and bony muffin McLea like a bundle of hay pots covered in spots Hercules Morse as big as a horse and Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy with tails in the air they trotted on down past the shops and Why are the dogs sexy now? Oh.

It's me, I've got a scar on my face. it, said Scarface Claw. Off with a yell, a wail and a howl, a scatter of paws, a clatter of claws, went Snitzel Von Krum with a very low tum, Blitzer Maloney all skinny and bony, Muffin McLay like a bundle of hay, Bonhamley Pots covered in spots, Hercules Morse as big as a horse and Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy. Straight

back home to bed. Oh God! What have you done? What have you done? Devil of Dublin saying straight back home to bed. Oh, God. Hayley, what have you done? End. Hayley, what have you done? Straight back home to bed. Devil of Dublin saying straight back home to bed is confusing with the dogs. Oh, my gosh.

I just thought. Oh, Hayley. Got the tempo. The tempo really. Hot studio, eh? Happy St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I don't think that we've ever. There are two cultures there.

Oh, my God. Someone just texted in. Kids in the car, but oh, my, did mama enjoy that? Happy St Patrick's Day Happy St Patrick's Day I don't think that we've ever Coming together of two cultures there Oh my god someone just texted in kids in the car but oh my did mama enjoy that Someone said my three year old loved that because that's their favourite rock

See there's something for everyone Yeah We can all enjoy the beautiful Irish accent on St Patrick's Day Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley You guys areM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

You guys are lucky to have me here today, I'll say it. I'm lucky to be alive. I could have died yesterday. That would be such a pain for us. Sorry. Sorry. Wait, I think you meant to say... Heart pain, I'd be so sad.

Heart pain. No, I think I would have been... I nearly got hit by a car yesterday on my bicycle. Oh, yeah. Because you know I bicycle. He does bicycle. Were you running a red light because they don't really apply to you? No, not this time.

I hate that, eh? They creep through and they just have a little look for themselves. If you're on the road, you use the road rules. I hate that person. Who was that? Oh, Karen. All right. Shush.

All right, Hoski. You're upstairs, mate. You all go upstairs, shall I? No, so the car basically just didn't see me and pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on my brakes and my wheel was like centimetres from his door. Oh, you should have thrown yourself onto the bonnet and got some money.

Yeah, but it's not America. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, it doesn't work like that. Because I just sort of ended up in hospital with a bung shoulder or, I don't know, grazed me and had to pay for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

But, you know, it was an Audi. It was an Audi driver. Ah, yeah. You know, and pay for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. But do you know, it was an Audi. It was an Audi driver. Ah, yeah. You know, I've got history with Audi, but you know, that's a certain person. It's a certain person,

isn't it? And it wasn't like, when he saw me and stopped, and I stopped, he then carried on in front of me. Oh no, no, you check. I had the right of way.

Yeah. He should have let me go and apologised. He couldn't even look at me. Entitled. Couldn't look at me in the eye. He just thinks he's better than everyone else. Yeah, because he's driving an Audi. That's right. Because he's driving an Audi. And this is the question I wanted to ask this morning. I think you're going to start a war.

What car drivers, what brand of car drivers are the worst? Rangers. Ford Ranger. Yeah. It's Ranger Danger. It's right up your butt. Dude, Ford Rangers. Worse than Audi drivers? Yeah.

I think Audi's drivers are a little bit, la-da-da-da-da. I'm in my own world. I'm thinking about myself. My road, my road. Yeah, Ranger drivers are just like, I'm a goddamn Ford Ranger driver. Get out of my way.

That was one of my favourite memes, eh? That was like a cartoon of a car and a Ranger behind being like, why are you driving so slow? Because they're just always tailgating. They're always just like, ride up your tush. Don't get me wrong. I think I'd look great behind the wheel of a black, all black, black down Ford Ranger, jacked up a little bit.

Yep. With 22-inch wheels. Hunting spot lights on it. Hunting spotties. Yep. I got big Ford Ranger energy. You can get a tow bar for your caravan and then you'll drive like a prick.

You will. It's like the moment you get behind, it's like prick mode. But I would say, I don't know if there's a breakdown of accidents by car make, but then there would be like, because there are more types of cars or more brands. Yeah, there's way more Mazdas on the road.

Exactly. So they might, yeah, but it would be percentages. Do you know mine, what I hate is I have never ever, and I say this with love to our friend James. Yeah. I have never ever seen a Suzuki Swift driving swiftly. They are so slow. I love them. They're always in front of you so slowly. No, they're not driven. They are so slow. I love them.

They're always in front of you so slowly. No, they're not driven. They go fast. Swift by name. Not Swift by nature. But Swift drivers aren't a-holes. Well, they're not a-holes, but they're being an a-hole

because you're in the fast lane and your car's called Swift and yet we're going 80 and I'm up behind you like I'm in a range. People are already flowing in with suggestions. Okay, well, this is what we want to know. What brand of car drivers are the worst on New Zealand roads? 0800 DARS at M.

Call us now. You can text through 9696. Give us one to get us started, Vaughan. Ford Rangers are followed by close second by blonde woman and Volkswagen Golf hatchbacks. Oh, yeah. Shots fired. Absolutely targeted. Shots fired because that's exactly Shannon. That's you, Shannon.

Yeah, and I agree. Listen, I'm one turn off away from my car exploding. It's the driver and the car. We need to hear for some traffic enforcement officers. Oh yeah. I think they would have a good stance, right? Who are they pulling over? Somebody said anything been driven by a white middle-aged man.

It's that arrogance. I'm up first. Okay, what brand of car drivers are the worst? Give us a call. Text us 9696. We want to know what brand of car drivers in New Zealand are the worst drivers because I nearly got hit on my bike by an Audi driver. I'm tied up.

Who then didn't look at me and then still proceeded to cut me off and drive away when I had the right of way. Yeah. There's definitely themes in here. Okay. For sure. I mean, everyone's saying Ranger Danger.

Ranger Danger, Ranger Danger. Ranger Danger, Ranger Danger. Anonymous, you would agree Ranger customers are the worst? Yeah, definitely. What do you are the worst? Yeah, definitely. What do you mean by customers? Yeah. What are you? Oh, so I work for Ford.

Oh! These are your customers. You're shitting on your own. And you're like, yeah, these Ranger guys, great. I mean, come on down to the car and buy a brand new one. Is it just because they're lads, though? Yeah. Oh, yeah, a lot of, you car and buy a brand new one. Is it just because they're lads, though? Yeah. Oh, yeah, a lot of, you know, urgent builders or treaty types.

Yeah, and then what sort of person drives the Everest, which is just a Ford Ranger with SUV on the back, right? Oh, the soccer mum. Soccer mum. Yeah. Soccer mum. Okay, but that... Soccer mum of the retready wife.

Yeah, yeah. I've had a couple of Everest's up the arse. Anonymous, thank you. If you've just joined the show, we're talking about cars. Yeah, which brand of car drivers are the worst? BMW is well represented on the text machine. BMW seems to be a real... More than Audi?

Yes. Audi hasn't even popped up. What was it? Somebody said, BMW guys, the cars constantly break down and it's always some douche, young, white male who thinks he owns the road. Same type of guy who never messages you back after you've had a great night previously with them. Now, that feels very...

That feels very specific. Very specific. And I'm sorry that you had your heart broken by a BMW driver. Has anybody come for the Suzuki Swift or the Jimny? Yeah. No Jimny, no Jimnys. No Jimnys. Suzuki Swift drivers are slow and are only on the road to test you

and your road rage barometer. Last week on my drive home, I had four frustrating encounters with the SS. Someone said anything that falls under the wanker tanker umbrella. Now, I have inquired. The wanker tanker is where someone's driving a significantly larger vehicle than they need to. Like a Range Rover or a Land Rover. A Range Rover and Remuera, for example.

A big four-wheel drive in a city. They said they're the worst. What are those big American ones? And they say like... Dodge Ram. Dodge Rams, yeah. When you see those in the inner city and it's some sort of like businessman, you're like... Just a nightmare.

You ramming. Yeah. Keep you see those in the inner city and it's some sort of like businessman, you're like, just a nightmare. You ramming. Keep your texts coming in 9696. I nearly got hit by a bike yesterday. No, you were on your bike. I was on my bike, nearly got hit by an Audi. There's been a title change on the text machine. Yep.

Because we've been talking about the worst kind of cars, you know, the worst drivers and the cars they choose. There's been a title change and there's been people messaging and now being like, I think we can all agree cyclists are the worst and i just want to say stop stop that i'm sorry for just being on the road like i'm allowed to be

stop that go to a park do you know what i mean cycle around a park yeah do you know there's a lot there's there's fewer uh messages about tesla drivers than i imagine because they're being targeted at the moment because everyone's all anti-non-mask. They had the best of intentions though, weren't they? Like, I'll get an electric vehicle. Save the planet. Even though that's arguable.

But then, yeah, then now the guy who did it's kind of losing his mind. So there's a few Teslas in there. Somebody said, any Japanese import from the 80s that boy racers are still holding onto because they think they're cool? Some of them are pretty cool. Some of them are cool. Men and youths. I love when you see a boy racer

and they've clearly put thousands of dollars into just the worst car. Like a $2,000 car. Yeah, you turn around and it's like, and you're like, what's that? And then you're like, oh, dude. You've got a Demio. Why is it? worst car. Like a $2,000 car. Yeah, you turn around and it's like, you're like, what's that? And then you're like, oh, dude. You've got a Demio. Why is it? Great car.

Why is it that the white Ford Ranger is a whole lot worse? Yeah, that's correct. The colour white. Is it? I don't know why, but it's correct. I thought the black ones were more menacing. I thought they were blue. Blue, yeah.

I've had a couple of, or the red Ranger right up there. It's like a power Ranger. Somebody said, I'm five foot nothing and there. It's like a power Ranger. Somebody said, I'm five foot nothing and sometimes I have to drive the work Ranger. And the minute I get in, I can tell people are angry and aggressive towards me. And I'm like,

please no, I don't, I'm five foot and I have to put the seat right up and forward so I can reach the clutch. Please don't be mean to me. I'm trying my best. What have you got any Mazda,

what, XCELLA? Are they coming through? My grey one? Yeah. No, no, the Mazda hasn't popped up on here at all. The 323? No, the Mazda's. Sensible drivers.

Sensible drivers. Mazda's getting through there. Do you know what? Tons of Prius complainers about slow driving. Oh, yeah. They say Prius, they're slow. They don't know where they're going. They're lost.

They take two to four business days to get to speed on the motorway and then sit at 75 in the fast lane someone said. Do they make more, do Ubers make more money if they go slow? Nah, because it's a pre-agreed rate, right? Yeah, yeah. They just don't want tickets. Distance. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Someone said Swift driver here, we do it on purpose. Well, don't be doing that. You're ruining my day. I really thought Suzuki Jimny drivers would wear it because they just can't go 100. They can't. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's so hard for them to go 100. Yeah, yeah, the Jimny's not getting any.

Why are you not biting? Why are you not biting at this? Because you're just pathetic. We're above this, aren't we, Jimny owners? We've got to wave. We always see each other, we wave, we flash our lights, give each other a little community vibe. Yeah, because you have to band together

because it's so embarrassing otherwise outside of the circle. It's fun. It's a sensible, fun little forward. I think I hit metal. I hit floor when that one time I drove the Jiminy to try to get to 50K. You put your foot through the floor.

Yeah, I was like, go, go, go. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Now, Aaron's been away for quite a while and he's back today. He's been hiking. He's been doing a lot of hiking. A lot of hiking. Did he take my personal locator beacon with him? Yes, but I believe he got scared and left it in the truck.

Because I told him off, he's not allowed to play with it. I said, don't press this button ever. That's exactly where you want your personal locator beacon when you get into trouble, in the bush, in the truck. Because I told him off, he's not allowed to play with it. I said, don't press this button ever. That's exactly where you want your personal locator beacon when you get into trouble, in the bush, in your truck. Not with you. Well, he's made it. He's made, well, you know.

Okay, good. He's driving home today, but he's been away. And in that time, I have taken some liberties, some of which include changes to our home. Like I removed a chair and you may remember I bought two vintage,

quite bold chairs. Off Trade Me. Off Trade Me and I stored them at Fletcher's temporarily and I put them in and I was like working out, because we're on a money-saving journey. Yeah. We're about to embark on a money-saving journey. Wait, I know you were already on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm about to join the ship. I got on on a money-saving journey. Wait, I know you were already on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm about to join the ship. I got on on a different port. You're like, you missed the cruise ship leaving. I missed, so I had to fly to the next port and get in later. But he's got the room all set up. With two chairs. With two chairs. You flew in with two chairs later.

Yeah, so there were a number of small changes and things in recent editions that I was just trying to piece together the sell. You know? How to sell it to him like, oh but it was only this. And he sees it in place looking amazing and so he'll be less likely to tell you off for

spending money. Yeah. So the other day he messaged me. Sorry I'm having an apple and I'm allergic. He messages me saying, you know, like, oh, I'm looking forward to seeing you and Raleigh.

And Raleigh was on my lap when I was on the bed at that time. So I just quickly took a photo of Raleigh. Then I go out and about. I was driving around and stuff and he calls me.

I was like, hey, babe, how are you going? And he said, what is that in the background of your photo? I completely forgot the chairs in the background. I know. You're like that cheating husband at a hotel that takes a photo and the other woman's

in the background reflecting. The TV reflection or something. Or there's some knickers on the, yes. Yes, that's what I've done. Some knickers. Some knickers. I have, I've revealed myself too early. Yeah.

And then I had to do the awkward over the phone sale. But as he was saying, I needed to have set them up and sort of go, but look, but look, but look. And say, look, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. Sit, sit, sit, sit. What are those in the background? And I tried to play, I did a couple of games.

I said, my English is not good. T I did a couple of games. I said, my English is not good. Tried that for a while. And he said, Hayley, Hayley. I do not understand, sir.

I don't. And then he said, you can hear me. And I said, oh my God, I'm in Browns Bay. The reception's terrible here. I can't,

you're barely coming through the phone. I hung up on him. But anyway, I've just, you've just got to be careful with the photo angles. Wait, so you just hung up? Yeah. Did he call back? Yeah, he kept calling

and saying, what are they? What are they? And I said, senora, senora, no parley. On glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's that. Did that wear thin? Yeah, eventually I told him about the chairs and how much I paid and the rigmarole of getting them and the fact that they need to be worked on

and da-da-da-da-da, and I thought we were saving money. And yes, I also thought we were saving money as well. He also revealed that, and he said, he goes, okay, okay, all right, whatever, okay. He goes, also, I hear we have a fat cat now. And my nieces, his brother's children, have been listening to our show where I reveal secrets about my life and explicitly say, please don't tell Aaron.

They told him. They've narked on me. The nieces narked. Yeah, Georgia and Lucy narked on me and told them, Hayley's made the cat fat. Got a couple of narky nieces. Got a couple of narky nieces. At least it's got a nice secondhand chair I've traded me to sit on.

Yeah, sit his fat ass on his new chairs. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You know me, I love beauty trend. I love it when we're like, we're doing monobrows now. We're doing rosy noses. We're doing this. There's one, they're calling it toxic and I totally agree.

Men on TikTok and Instagram are shaving with like a pube trimmer, like not a manual shaver, like a, like you would a buzz cut, off their eyelashes to appear less feminine. What? Now, guys. That's wild.

Literally like down to Do they grow back they do but they would grow back because your eyelashes fall out they cycle okay

so that would eventually they come back soft and wispy again but they're going like right down blunt to the eye like gone

why basically because they think that the soft wispy lashes makes them look feminine and this is a more masculine appearance

but do you find eyebrows attractive on a guy eyelashes sorry attractive on a guy soft wispy lashes makes them look feminine and this is a more masculine appearance. But do you find eyebrows attractive on a guy? Eyelashes, sorry. Attractive on a guy? Like profoundly hot. Yeah. Like big eyes. You know when you see like a boy like Matt I'm hot. Are you okay?

Do you need a moment? Do you need a moment? A lovely looking man with big like open feminine eyelashes. Delicious. Look, can you see that? There's a photo, like, right buzz. Oh, no.

Like a buzz cut. You just look weird, right? Yeah, you look weird without eyelashes. It's huge. There's, like, millions of videos. Why are they doing it? I mean, are they worried about looking feminine, these men? Do they look like feminine men? No, they just look like men.

I don't understand. And it's become this huge thing. And now that it's a TikTok trend, everyone's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to do it too. Oh, no. So they're going to their barber, you know, and get like a nice fade and they get a little trim and this. And the barber's doing. Yeah, the barber's doing the lashes as well. Get rid of those so you don't look like a pansy.

Producers, eyelashes on guys. Yeah, fine. It's natural. I don't understand. I like my men as mammals, personally. Yeah. Mammals have eyelashes. We've got fur. Yeah, we've got fur.

What constitutes a mammal is the mammaries. The nipples. Yeah, the nipples and stuff. Yeah, that's how I like my men. Nipples and eyelashes. I like my men with nipples too. The more nipples and stuff. Yeah, that's how I like my men. Nipples and eyelashes. I like my men with nipples too. Nipples and eyelashes.

Yeah, the more nipples, the merrier for me. Do you know what I mean? And the more eyelashes. But would you find it weird if you went up to a guy at about you were single and this guy, and you just looked at him and you'd notice that he'd shaved off his eyelashes? Yeah, I'd be like, lots of people can't grow eyelashes.

If you can grow them, keep them. Keep them. I think it would be, yeah, weird if you had some hair and not because obviously if someone's obviously lost their eyelashes that's different but if you've got big bushy eyebrows you've got like and then no eyelashes also surely that's bad for you right because our eyelashes block stuff from getting in our eyes that's why mammals have it. They've got an evolutionary purpose. That's why they've got an evolutionary purpose. The mammalry development.

Yeah, the mammalry experience. Yeah. I'm just checking my man, who I measure all men from, Henry Cavill. He's got lovely eyelashes. I know he does. And when he flutters them, other things flutter. I flutter. I'm also checking out other show favourite hunk,

Ellen Richardson. Yep. Richardson, who plays Jack Breacher. Who, by the way, has an Instagram, and I couldn't be happier. I'll tell you why you'll get sick of his Instagram. I'll tell you there's a reason why you won't follow him for long. Oh, no. God bless. God bless. Oh, yeah.

Seriously. Huge. Knock, knock, knock. Are you there? God, it's me, Ellen Richardson. Seriously Yeah Huge Knock, knock, knock Oh, what a bummer Hey, God Are you there, God? It's me, Ellen Richner Oh, maybe I could convert to the church For the right man I mean, flooded his long lashes at me

Right, but keep your lashes on Guys, like, don't do that Don't be silly You look beautiful And very masculine Fact of the day is next What's our theme all this week? Smell.

Things that smell. I thought I smelled this morning. That was something, wasn't it? Save that for you. We're close, eh? Three of us, we get real close. Fact of the day next. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day Smells Week here at Fact of the Day where we'll learn not only about things that smell but also the act of smelling because this is a little sub fact, I want to chuck you away. Did you know that the smell is the only sense we have, of course there's five senses, touch, sight, taste, sound, hearing, and smell.

Now the four, apart from smell, go through what is known as the brain's gatekeeper, the thalamus. Yep. Now, the thalamus is a small part of the brain that acts as a sensory relay centre. So when you taste something or touch something, it goes through to the brain for interpretation. The smell bypasses it,

which is why smell makes us nostalgic so much more. Because it fills the brain. It just goes straight into the olfactory sense and just immediately you're like, man, that smell takes me back. Such weird smells as well. You can't even put your finger on it and then you're suddenly like, I'm just back in a moment. I love that.

When you're like, oh my god, when I was like seven years old. And one of the most well-known smells that people always say take them back is part of today's fact of the day about the sense of smell. Play-Doh. Oh my God, I can smell it now. The distinctive scent of Play-Doh is one of 16 copyrighted smells in the US.

How do they describe it? The actual brand Play-Doh is right. Hasbro's toy modeling compound with a unique scent described as a sweet, slightly musky vanilla fragrance with a slight overtone of cherry combined with the smell of a salted wheat-based dough is the... Yes! Because I would more reminisce about the smell of homemade Play-Doh. Oh, yeah, the cheap stuff. And it never lasted.

It made your hands all coloury because it had food colouring in it. Yeah. And we were poor and didn't have Play-Doh. Your mum did her best. You'd smell the homemade play-doh and then you'd be immediately taken back to the time of your mum saying, I can't really be bothered because it's such a messy process that takes

ages and then you're going to get sick of it and you're not going to put it back in the airtight container and it's going to go hard overnight and you're going to throw it out and it's a waste of things. That's where I'm taken back to immediately. Some of the other things that have trademarked smells, Crayola crayons.

Yes, I can smell it. Described as a unique scent of pungent aldehydic fragrance combined with a faint scent of hydrocarbon wax and an earthy clay. So these are some of the other, I'll just quickly go through them. Plumeria blossom scented sewing thread and embroidery yarn was the first US scent trademark for thread and yarn infused with a Plumeria blossom scented sewing thread and embroidery yarn was the first US scent trademark

for thread and yarn infused with a plumeria blossom scent. So you smell it while you're knitting with it. Strawberry scented toothbrushes. Weird. Self-explanatory. Mint scented pain relief patches. Patches that you put on

with a numbing cream in it, but it's got a minty aroma. Oh, do you know what I stole? Because I stopped in at my parents' place. They went home. I stopped in at my parents' place at the weekend on the way to Papamoa. Yeah. And I had a sore shoulder at the time,

and mum's got that purple pot of- Antiflam. Yeah, that arnica. And this one had 50% more arnica, and I just, that's good stuff. And I was rubbing it on, and it had a really, like, distinct smell. Okay, so you have a full-time job, and I just, that's good stuff. And I was rubbing it on and it had a really like distinct smell. Okay, so you have a full-time job and income.

You're a grown man. And a grown man and they're on the benefit. Yeah, they're both on the old people's benefit. On the old people's benefit and you stole from them. Wow.

And I said, did you take anything from the pantry? Biscuits? No, I didn't take anything from the pantry but I borrowed my dad's ute and on the way back

I was like, do I have to fill this up? I'm still there. I'm still there, kid. But I did, I filled it right up, tippy-tippy-top. Oh, that's good, because they're on the old people's benefit. They're on the doll. I know they're on the doll. Coconut-scented

flip-flop shops. So apparently there's a flip-flop shop, that's what it's called, that sells jandals, but it's got its own fragrance that is trademarked. I wonder if Peter Alexander's trademarked there, whatever that smell. The candles. Whatever that candle is.

You just. Every time, eh? Yeah, you're like, pajamas. Eddie Finn's ukulele has a ukulele coated with a pina colada fragrance. That's trademarked. Lick the ukulele. Beg your pardon?

Can't say that on the radio. Sorry. Lick my ukulele. And an ammonia and kerosene-scented gun cleaner. Uh, it's got such a distinctive smell that they trademarked it. So other people can't make gun cleaning products

with that smell, otherwise they'll be in breach of trademark. So today's fact of the day is there are 16 recognised smells that have trademarks in the United States. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, you know, when it comes to my economists, I go bad news.

Brad. Yeah. He's my guy. But I have read an article from another economist. I was dipping a toe to see if I liked the other side. And he's an economist and a property investment advisor. He was sharing about the kind of stuff, he works with couples to kind of bring their money together

or he works with couples who are separating and working out, splitting money and stuff. And he talked about the absolute need for financial transparency. No surprises, no little hidden things because he's come across this a lot during a split. We're going, okay, so is that everything? And people are going, I've had an account.

I've had an account this whole time. And they've got money in it. Like a secret account. Little secrets. And they've got money in it. Like a secret account. Little secrets. And they're holding these little secrets. Anyway. Why do they admit to it though? Are they legally?

You have to. Right. Yeah. But if it's got to this point, oh, okay, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either. But they, I mean, I suppose they uncover things. I don't know. Yeah.

But he was like, a lot of people are hit in the face of these surprises and he recommends that once a year, couples, like who are still together, sit down and have a money date with a purpose of, oh God, I'd literally rather die. Sorry. Sit down and have a money date where the purpose is to be really up front and transparent with finances

so that you just know that we're always on the same page, we've got the same financial goal and therefore you won't go out and buy two second hand chairs of Trade Me and a leather jacket that we haven't explained yet and that on this financial date, if I have done that then that would be my chance to say I've done a little bit of extra spending from a different account.

But having a secret account, there's a reason for that, right? Either your partner is so bad with money, you have to keep it a secret so they don't spend it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're holding. Or you have an escape plan. You've got a little something. Yeah. Just in case.

You're thinking about the future. Well, this is what I wanted to know. And you can engage anonymously. Have you ever had a financial secret from a partner? And what was it? Maybe you had a little cash fund for fun? Maybe you had a full hundred grand in an account somewhere.

What if someone got inheritance or they won Lotto or the pokies and they just keep that a secret. I just love the range you've presented to us there. Maybe they got an inheritance or they won the Lotto or Pokies. Or the Pokies. Those are the

only three ways you sort of just come into money. Yeah. Or maybe, I don't know, I just think you've set a little secret. I love that. Maybe you actively have one on the go now. We're not yet a judge. Well, feel free. You can be anonymous.

0800 DALS at M. You can text her 9696. Have you kept a financial secret from a partner? A financial expert has talked about dealing with couples, not just couples together, but breaking up or divorcing couples. And encourages people to be really transparent with finances throughout their relationship so we don't have any secrets.

Because apparently people have secret accounts or little secret pockets of money. Little, little bits here and there. So we asked you, have you ever had a financial secret? And something we didn't even think about, like we were thinking about like secret savings or inheritance, but secret debt, anonymous. Good morning.

That was you, was it? It was me, yeah, yeah. So what did you hide from your partner? Well, my partner's a bit more financially responsible than I am, and I'm a prolific spender, so it was credit card debt. Hayley's shaking her head. She's nodding in approval. I'm not allowed a credit card for good reason.

No, no, don't for good reason. No. No, don't. Everyone now. Yeah. Okay. And so he still doesn't know about the debt or the credit card? He does now. So we applied for a mortgage.

Oh. Oh. So that's how he found out about it when you applied for a mortgage. Yeah. So we're sitting there at the bank and going through anything now. Is there anything else that we need to know? And I was like, um, yes. What was his reaction?

He just kind of gave me a sideways glance. Yeah, he wasn't angry about it or anything. That's good. Oh, that's crazy. Anonymous. It probably feels good though now, right, that it's not a secret anymore? It does, yeah, and I've been able to cancel the card as well. Good for you.

Anonymous, thank you for sharing some texts in. I work in a bank and often people have secret accounts, so they'll meet with me first and ask me not to tell the partner that they're about to have a meeting with. Once a girl had $100,000 her boyfriend didn't know about, and he was giving me permission for her to access his accounts. He had a house without her on the mortgage right but she's like don't tell

him about we want prenup holla we want prenup i inherited a bit of money when i was in my early 20s i grew up in a very humble household so i didn't want it to impact me so i invested it and continued life like a normal uni student. Eventually it came out that I was a millionaire. What? After two years, and my girlfriend was seriously pissed off for me. I learned from that. The relationship ended,

and I told my now wife within a few months, worked out a lot better. Yeah, I reckon. Far out. I won an ACC case just before Christmas. $400,000. Wow. And I hid it from my family so that I didn't need to buy Christmas presents, lol.

Surely if it was an injury that would cover your life. If it was going to be that much money, they'd be aware of your ongoing case. Oh, this is so juicy. I love it. This is really juicy. Keep your texts coming in, 9696 0800, dials it in. If you've ever kept a financial secret from a partner.

Well, well, well, well, well. We're not judging. Georgia joins us. We're talking financial secrets, Georgia. Have you kept, well, you just recently got married? Come on. I don't think I have, the only thing is shopping. Mine's just, I'll say it's someone else's.

But if Hayne works for the bank, he'll be all over you. He'll have probably alerts set up. We get, we get given, well, I get an allowance. We both get allowances. Yeah, right. Tim works for the bank. He'll be all over you. He'll have probably alerts set up. We get given, well, I get an allowance. We both get allowances. Yeah, right. And I just sometimes don't say what mine was spent on. And that's all right.

That's your allowance, right? You're free to do whatever you want with it. Does he give it to you in an envelope and say, no, here you go. No, I kind of wish, though. You've been a good girl. I kind of wish, because how good is it carrying around cash? Yeah. Nowhere takes it, though.

It's a hard thing. Well, there's a lot of financial secrets. Yeah. Nowhere takes it, though. It's a hard thing. Well, there's a lot of financial secrets. Anonymous, what was the financial secret that you had to deal with? Hi, is that me? That's you. Yeah. So I was married, and my husband at the time

actually got a credit card and put my name down as the guarantor without telling me. And then when we split up, I still didn't realize that I was the guarantor on this credit card. He never told me. He got himself into a lot of debt and wasn't paying back his bills and sort of buying up and spending large and I didn't know about any of this until I got a phone call from a debt collection agency about this

card that I was a guarantor on that wasn't being paid back. Is that like, is that bad from whoever issued the card that they didn't check with you? Like, do you have any leg to... Did he forge your signature? No, he just

wrote down that he was married and that I was his wife and would be his contact person and the guarantor for the loan. And so you were responsible for that debt as well? Yeah. So what happened? Did you have to pay it?

No, in the end, when we separated, we went through all the legal stuff through the court. So I had to send off all my paperwork to the bailiff

to show that we had separated and that I wasn't responsible. What a black to go through that. It was awful because he knew he was in debt and tried to do a bit of a run and escape it.

He changed his address and changed his phone number and they were going through different avenues to try and find him. So at one point they rang my grandmother. Oh my gosh. And you had no idea this whole time. Anonymous, thank God you're not with this person.

Lucky escape. So crazy. I think so, yeah. Yeah, oh my gosh. So good. Thank you for sharing. So many messages in. My partner thinks it's ridiculous that our cat

costs $1,000. Little does he know it's about to cost an even more ridiculous $2,000. Does cat need something done to it? Maybe a little surgery or something. Pet insurance. My mum had a golden syrup tin full of cash. And would just dip in

every time she needed a little treat. A little treat-y tin. Somebody else said, my mum and stepdad have been married for 23 years. My mum's got a secret credit card that he has no idea about, and she uses it for like plane tickets for family from overseas or to buy unnecessary stuff for her grandkids that he wouldn't approve of.

But how does she pay off all the thousands of dollars that would cost? Don't know. Somehow transfers the money and he doesn't know? Yeah, that's the sneaky situation. Yeah. I kept my afterpay a secret from my husband. He still doesn't know about it. $3,000 limit.

I've only recently paid it off and don't use it anymore because I found out, like the other listener, the bank will look at it when we're applying for mortgages. Yeah. Guess what? They're still going to see it and they're still going to bring it up in the meeting when you're sitting down and then that's when he's going to find out about it.

Someone said I steal money from the bank during Monopoly and he's the banker. Now that's just sneaky. He's the banker and you're stealing money. Yeah. I've got to say. A terrible banker. He's not a great banker.

If you're the banker, you can steal. It's probably a toilet break. He's whipping off to the toilet. We can't be keeping these huge financial secrets like that. That's scary. Okay, if you had to rate, review or marry Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley, what one would it be?

I would marry Hayley. I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. I'd have sex with the podcast. I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review, though.