ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 17th November 2023

Episode Date: November 16, 2023

2024 Dating  Top 6: Sexy Nerd Job Titles  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings: Car Seats  Voice Auditions  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. For those expecting hungover us. I'm probably the dustiest. I had a few whiskies with my dad last night. Oh, nice. That was really good. No, we were very mature, weren't we?

Yeah, we were. I said it. I called it. I said, we'll have some drinks in the day. Yeah. We'll head there and we'll taper off. And we did a mighty taper. We did well. We did well. Good sleep.

I'm actually proud of us. Yeah, I'm proud too. And then we were seen leaving my apartment together in the morning, so rumors may start. Yeah, rumors will be. Yeah, Hayley had the couch. The spare room was already booked out. Who was in the spare room?

My friends. Sam's staying in the spare room. You sleep on the couch? Yeah. I know. Sam, female? Sam, male? Male.

Chivalry is dead. On a gay. The gays don't care for the woman. The gays are the priority. There's nothing there for them. Yeah, there's nothing there. They would have given up the bed if they thought. It could have led to XYZ.

Yeah. No, I had a fantastic, you know his couch. I mean, it's an absolute. I don't think Friday's going to get better than that. I think it would peak. That is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. XYZ. Yeah.

You're welcome. You want to get up to a little bit of a, I don't know, this, that? XYZ? Yeah. It's good stuff. A bit of algebra there too. See, I wouldn't want to get up to a little bit of a I don't know This there Sex wise Yeah It's good stuff Bit of algebra there too See I wouldn't want to And that had levels Yeah it did yeah

Are you just I'm taking your joke there It was clever It was funny It was everything You don't have a sore back though Because I wouldn't sleep on my couch It's not level

It's all lumpy But nice lumpy Nice lumpy Nice lumpy No it was lovely You've got a great couch You could fit 10 people sleeping on that thing. He has.

It was wonderful. There wasn't a lot of sleeping going on. Put a sex-y-z. Put a, hey, there it is again. We're doing this, that, sex-y-z. He wants to revisit his funny joke, doesn't he? He wants to. Yeah, the mathematicians were even on board for that.

The top six is coming up. Is it? Do you remember? Every day it's there. Oh, yeah. I found this very funny. There's this guy online who is a paleontologist. Like Ross from Friends.

Bingo. Paleontologists must love that, eh? Bingo. Oh, like Ross from Friends? Bingo. They're calling him Fossil Daddy, which is the sexiest term a paleontologist could ever hope for. Yeah, it is.

So I'm going to the top six. Nerdy occupations with sexed up titles. Okay. Jesus. That is coming up, the top six. Sounds funny to me. At 8 o'clock this morning, it's your Friday flashback, and I think we should let the cat out of the bag

because we have some exciting news. You were going to play a Paramore song. I am. Because they're here tomorrow and we're off tomorrow. Do you know what? I'm not planning a taper either. You're going hard. Well, it's a Saturday night and it's just going to be so much

fun and it was so hard to get tickets. We've actually got some, don't we? Well, we've got the GA ones were hard, but there are still some tickets left. Goal Attack. Yeah, we're Goal Attack tickets. Still not going the defences third the win defence was still available

still tickets available are seeded tickets but if you want to win a double pass make sure you're listening at 8 for Friday Flashback because we're going

to give away a double pass next on the show could I just ask the listeners a question yes you may a text came in last night at

4 minutes past 11 saying they're listening in Upper Hut and Porirua the station is very scratchy I'd minutes past 11 saying they're listening in Upper Hutt and Porirua. Yep. The station is very scratchy. I'd like to know if you're listening

in the DJ's scratching. It was a bit of Blindspot, a bit of Linkin Park. A bit of Michael Fyne. Yeah. New 2000s. That's good. New rock, yeah.

Better than my Arnold Schwarzenegger? Slightly. Which has been absolutely slaughtered online. I know. Unbelievable. I'd just like to know if that crack and scratchle's...

Oh, yeah. ...scrackle and scratchle and... If you're listening... No, I've gone down a rabbit hole. If you're listening on the Wellington frequency, just let us know if we're coming in loud and clear this morning. I can hear you, Claire. I tell you what, we're broadcasting from the tippity-top

to the bippity-bottom of the country, and we are stoked to be with you this morning. Thanks for having us. Next on the show. A dating trend for 2024 that I tell you what, I've dabbled deeply in. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. How big.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear... Oh, wait, I'm going to Google whose birthday it is, November 17th. It's my brother's tomorrow, but that doesn't... What? You weren't saying happy birthday. But I'm just going with the motion of the ocean. Well, if you're listening and it's your birthday...

This is for you. Happy birthday, dear RuPaul. Danny DeVito, Martin Scorsese, dear RuPaul. Danny DeVito. Martin Scorsese. Daisy Fuentes. Happy birthday to you. Beautiful. That was beautiful.

I think we should do that every day. Oh, my God. Daisy Fuentes. Yeah, we'll sing happy birthday and the listeners call up and we insert their name. Yeah. Love that idea. Happy birthday, dear. Now, we've opened up the phone lines. 0800 dial ZM.

Tell us your name. We'll put it in there. Clarice. I think the birthday. I don't think radio has ever been better than when radio stations used to do the birthday shout outs. Yeah, the local stations used to do it. I remember, I think I won a donut.

A network radio station. Did you win a donut? Yeah, from like the local, but you could win a donut from the local bakery. Well, don't say that, because we don't have donuts to go away. I think I got a diary. A diary radio station. Did you win a donut? Yeah, from like the local, but you could win a donut from the local bakery. Well, don't say that because we don't have donuts to go away. I think I got a diary. A diary? Yeah. Okay.

How exciting. When they stopped, when they started worrying about kids getting too fat. Radio's come a long way. I think we should go straight back to where it was. Now, apparently we're all off. The heyday. What was the heyday?

That when they used to do birthday. Yeah. They used to do the birthday wheel. In fact, if you're listening off. What was the heyday? That when they used to do birthday. Yeah. They used to do the birthday wheel. In fact, if you're listening now and it's your birthday or it's somebody's birthday, text them and I'm just going to sprinkle them throughout this break. Or whenever. Why not?

Whenever. Why not? Yeah. Okay, everyone wants a zaddy apparently. This is the dating trend of 2024. This is great news for you. Age gap relationships. Carl, Peter Fletcher.

Oh, no. Everyone wants a slightly older partner. How old is Aaron? Aaron is slightly older. I always forget that Aaron's just a little bit older than you. Aaron's my age. 42. Yeah.

That's seven. Eight years difference. Eight years. That's hot, eh? By the way, if you were at Friday's Live last night, Callie Rowland is 42. Jesus. Jesus, take the wheel.

Like, holy shit. If you look like that whenland is 42. Jesus. Jesus, take the wheel. She, like, holy shit. If you look like that when you're 42, blessed. No, we're going to do a recap at 7.30. Shut your mouth. So we'll save our love for Kelly Rowland and our admiration for her at, what, 7.30. Huge crush on her now.

This is a trend. This is a trend. They reckon that is going to be the biggest thing that people are looking for in 2024 is an age gap relationship. And now people are saying like there was all these theories on oh this is the perfect age gap and people are like

nah man that doesn't exist. It's a plus 7 minus 7 divided by 42. It's a half your age plus 7. That's the rule right? Yeah I mean me and Aaron are both considered millennials but he'd be on one end and I'd be... Elder millennial. I'm right in the middle.

Yeah, right, okay. He's more your age than mine. Just wanted to remind you that I'm significantly younger than both of you. Yeah, yeah. Significantly younger. I was going to say, you're looking up. What's the biggest age gap? This could be problematic.

1934. The biggest age gap we've ever be problematic. 19, 34. What's the age gap? The biggest age gap we've ever experienced. 15 years is mine. I'm about to build a... Sorry, I heard it and I'm upset. I'm about to build a sandcastle.

You've built a modern three-bedroom home with a 15-year age gap. I'm building a sandcastle because I think literally the biggest age gap I've ever experienced would be four years.

Right. Fletch? Yeah, about that, yeah. He's about to build a multi-level inner city apartment. He's building the Burj Khalifa of age gaps. You were 19.

Yeah, not boyfriend but I used to love an older man. And I still do. I'm always attracted to someone slightly older than me when it comes to men. Is Jason Momoa older than you? Jason's the same age as Aaron. He's 42. Is he?

Oh, there you go then. Is he? I didn't really think how old he would be. I thought like maybe late 30s. No, oh, sorry. He's 44. He's older. He's older.

Same age as me. Like a fine one. Well, to be fair. Happy birthday to Hannah Pears. 33 years old today. Happy birthday, Hannah Pears 33 years old today Happy birthday Hannah That comes from your bestie Congratulations

Good that felt 25 year age gap for me Someone just texted Never again Oh never again My friend who I shan't name Because I have told some of his Stories of his sexual proclivities before

And it gets back to him pretty quick Not a very Not like Not If someone's listening now, they'll probably point a finger at somebody that I'm very close friends with. This guy's like out of, out of acquaintance.

So now you're sharing his dirty laundry on air and you're saying that you don't really consider him a close friend. He's not a top tier friend. He was ravenous. He wouldn't be in your MySpace top eight. No. Right.

He was ravenous for the older woman. And I'm talking like when he was 18, like woman in their fifties. Like what? No. He was ravenous for the older woman. And I'm talking like when he was 18, like woman in their 50s. What? He used to literally go to one time I say literally, it's going to make it sound like it was a habit. One time, there was an open home. A house was for sale

down the road from our flat and he's like, that real estate agent is absolutely getting it. So he went to the open home. I tell you now So he went to the open home. I tell you now. He went to the open home. Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm very interested. She's like, no, you're not.

Signed up to her. So she messages him. He's like, lovely to meet you. Yeah. Like, would you care to go for a drink? She's like, yes. Oh, my God. Bagged it.

Wow. Bagged, tagged, tag Bag tag and release As long as it's all fun and consensual Why not? Absolutely Consenting adults Yeah she was a much older woman I would say she was

Very attractive 20 plus 20 plus years Older He would have been 18, 19 She would have been I would say close to 60 Did he get one of those

Little calendars they do To put on the fridge? Yeah the magnet wasn't Strong enough though It slid down the fridge Yeah slid Damn it fridge. It slid. Damn it, don't you hate it. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Well, yesterday, Microsoft Teams launched a, well, they announced it at one of those announce-y things that they do, a creepy AI trick for those that use Microsoft Teams. Now, everybody here uses Microsoft Teams. You know, you log on to your web email. Yeah, I refuse to be part of the corporate machine. Well, we're not in the office.

But everyone in the office, you know, you can chat with people and you can do video calls. I conduct all my business on Houseparty. You are not using that anymore. Everybody's still using that app. We're not using that anymore. I've got to say, business has been quiet here. Everybody's still using that app. We're not using that anymore. I'm going to say business has been quiet. Well, everyone's on Teams. Now, you guys use Teams every day.

Yeah. Well, this new AI feature, and there's a GIF of it in action, and it's insane. So it will, you just click this button, clean up on your video if you're doing a video call. So if you're at home home and it will literally clean up the background of your home and make it look nice and even add things. So this

example, this woman's sitting and there's a bookshelf behind her and it's full of crap. I'm showing you Hayley, this is the before. Heaps of vinyl records. Clutter. It doesn't, it's not overly bad but then it changes it to like a minimalist clutter freefree bookshelf.

Bizarre. Who cares if you've got a few more records on your shelves and stuff? I mean, some people in the background of their house, you're like, take some pride. I think that's why it's for those people that if they- Or find a blank wall, you know, turn the other way. So how would you guys use this, Teams users? Oh, absolutely. Because we do the brekkie hours,

so we'll often be home in the afternoons and then someone will be like, quick, jump on Teams. And you're like, oh, I'm in my PJs in the lounge and it's a mess. Yeah, right. So there's been multiple times where I'll just move in the house to find a blank white wall because I'm embarrassed and change top real quick. I don't think it'll change PJs

to normal clothes. I don't think AI is up to that yet. I'll just chuck a little button up on top. That'd be good though if you could actually go pick me, put this shirt from Moochie on my top or just put clothes on me full style. Do a face? Slap a face on me and do

my hair. More than the background issue. Have you had this problem Jared yeah I used to do a little bit of Twitch streaming and I got real bored of like having to

tidy my room so I kind of just bought a green screen to cover so it's basically the same thing like a shield yeah

right okay don't they they've got because we I'm more of a Zoom person myself. Yeah, but Zoom do the backgrounds automatically.

You do, you could do the like fun backgrounds or I love when you're on a Zoom call and someone's got their background hazed. You know, like. Like what are they hiding? What are they hiding? It's like show me, get that. Do you remember peak pandemic,

we had a Zoom and someone, I was in their bedroom and they had their masturbation station set up in the background. Fantastic. Yeah, right beside their bed. Tissues. And everyone was just like, why have they got a box of tissues and a moisture?

Oh my God, it's a masturbation station. And everyone else was like messaging each other. Masturbation station. And the text was like, masturbation station. Great stuff. Pretty good stuff. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Fossil Daddy.

A paleontologist. You've upset Shannon with that, actually. Can you apologise? She's feeling uncomfortable. It's not about the who, Will. What's the other one? What's the fourth one? What's the fuck? Johnny Goodyear. Oh, did you?

Jared Aydes is going to do this. The producers are going to walk, so if you keep that up. Who else? Hello. This guy on the internet. What happened? I cut my fingernails too short and I'm trying to peel this really hard out mandarin. That is a tight mandarin.

I know, it's really tight. God, that is so tight. You need a surgical scalpel to get into that thing. I long for skin like that. Now, this is the Kelly Rowland of mandarins. Oh my God, tight. I didn't read the whole story. I've just learned that this daddy paleontologist,

who everyone has called Fossil Daddy. Yeah. He's also a homosexual. Oh, goodness me. Until Fossil Daddy, a queer paleontological, paleontological, ooh, that's a hard word to say, father figure on the internet found, he's out there and he's saying, I'm going to turn this paleontology lesson into a galeyontology lesson. He's hot.

He's a hot dude. Holy. Let me flip you. Let me look. He's a hot dude. Holy. Let me look at these guns. The shoulders are going. If you saw him, you wouldn't be like, that guy's a paleontologist, would you? No, but you're imagining. He's a PT.

You might say that man is a homosexual. Maybe. You'd guess he was gay before you guessed his job. Terrible tattoo. Maybe. The internet is loving paleontology daddy. Yeah. Okay. And some of the comments on it are just like,

fossil daddy is really sexing up. Right. You can dig up my fossils. I've got the top six sexy titles for nerdy jobs. Okay. Number six on the list. If you're an IT professional, you start calling yourself the computer commando.

Oh, yeah. I don't know about that. Come with me if you want to defrag. Come with me if you want to defrag. It's gotten worse, actually. I've lost all confidence in it. We've worked out this week, you cannot do an Arnold impersonation.

Head to the internet, head to our page, listener, and go and watch the video and you tell me. TikTok would disagree, Hayley. It really would. Head to the internet, head to our page, listener, and go and watch the video and you tell me. TikTok would disagree, Hayley. It really would. Number five on the list of sexy titles for nerdy jobs, civil engineer or a bridge beast baby. Bridge beast baby. You're a bridge beast baby.

It's confusing because you're building bridges, but you're a beastie baby. Yeah. What is a beastie baby? I don't know. I'm just telling you sexy titles. Tell you what, those Bridge Beast Babies, they built that Coromandel Bridge fast, haven't they? It's going to be open before Christmas. Oh, my God.

No, thank God. That was sexy. It's open in like a couple of weeks. Good work, Bridge Beast Babies. Number four on the list of nerdy jobs, sexy titles for nerdy jobs, if you're a librarian or are you a licky, licky librarian book baby booty bongo?

Whoa. No, no, no, no, no. Okay a licky, licky librarian book baby booty bongo? Whoa. La, la, la, la, la. Okay. Licky, licky librarian book baby booty bongo. Turn the page. Yeah. I think if I worked

in a library, I'd get a sponge, a wet sponge because you'd be licking so many dirty books. You remember those like postal rolls? Yeah.

Or when they're at the bank and they're counting the cash and they've got the little thumb sponge. Little thumb sponge. Yeah, they still have those. I saw them using a thumb sponge in the bank and they're counting the cash and they've got the little thumb sponge. Little thumb sponge. Yeah, they still have those.

I saw them using a thumb sponge at the bank. I was like, retro. You can make your own thumb sponge. Yeah, just cut a sponge. Cut a sponge into a circle. Moist it up. Moist it. Do you know Aaron was a librarian?

That's hosha. He's done a lot of things. Yes. He would look sexy with, like, glasses and, like, his hair done neat and, like, a button up. And tight pants. Chino's. Yeah, tight pants.

Tight pants. Some embraces. Reading some philosophy. Yeah. Yeah, he'd get it. Number three on the list of the top six sexy titles for nerdy jobs. If you're an analytics analyst, are you an analytics analyst? For?

Sexy titles. That's hard. For nerdy jobs. Number two on the list of the sexy titles for nerdy jobs. Are you a science teacher or are you a sexy scientific sweet stuff senorita? Oh, I like that. And number one on the list. If you're an AI engineer.

Yeah. Your sexy title for your nerdy job is Future Mummy Overlord. Future Mummy Overlord. Well, we're going to get taken over by AI, and she is the engineer, so she is AI's mummy. She's our future mummy. Mummy. I am your overlord. Hoo-woo.

Hoo-woo. Hoo-woo. Ah-da-da-da. Ah-da-da-da-da-da. Oni-chan. That ishoo. Ah-da-da-da. Ah-da-da-da-da-da. Oni-chan. That is today's top six. Yes. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Play ZM. The Hilton, the famous hotel chain, have advised that if you would like to work for them, they don't want your boring-ass BS CV delivered in paper form with a photo and a cover letter. I am Haley and I like people. Which is true, I do. You are great with people. I am great with people, but, you know, as if you're going to say you're not.

I don't know if you'd be great taking luggage to the festival. I would 100% say I'm not great with people. No, but you won't get a job. I don't want a job. Stop making me conform to your capitalism. Why are you even applying to the Hilton? I keep wins off my back, man. Wins are always like, how many jobs have you applied for this week?

Oh my God, I know. It's called job seeker support. I'm seeking. I'm trying to be an actress. We've seen a different kind of job. We've been there. Well, they've advised that they would like you to apply for jobs by creating TikTok content. They're going to go to your TikTok and you can do like a one, I was going to say one minute.

Yeah, like a one minute video of who you are and, you know, it's something that shows you as a person as opposed to like paper. This is just another reason hot people get ahead. Because if you were hiring people, you'd have a bias, right? Look at him pretending like he's not hot. Oh, yeah, you're a real dog to look at. Stop trying to play to the common man. Stop trying to play to the average minger. Take your t-shirt off.

Show everyone what you're working with over there. But you know what I mean, though? I do know what you mean. It's like when people used to say, don't put your photo on your CV. But the only people that did were the hot people. Yeah. Well, I'm just looking at my TikTok to see the impression that I get.

Now, I've still only posted three videos. It never really flourished, did it, your TikTok? I'd say two of them are good. Lot of work. Yeah, I just don't really have it. Oh, yeah, that was me when I had a job. I mean, what would they get out of this? I'm hot, right?

That's what I get. And I drink wine, and I like wine. And I change the colour of my hair often. But in this minute video, it's basically you putting forward your case for why they should hire you. Yeah, basically. It's not a funny, you're not doing a dance.

Yeah, well, they want you to be creative, like show who you really are. I can't dance. So, yeah. Yeah. I just, I can't dance. Hey, Hilton, you're so fine. You're so fine.

I blow my mind. Give me a job. Hey, hey, give me a job as a bellboy. That would be mine. Okay. I'd be like, we're not hiring her.

She's a bit much. Yeah. My TikTok would be like, I am only, if I'm hired to this job, to keep wins off my back. Please don't hire me. I'm terrible with people. I have little to no patience for stupidity. And I feel like this company, because it's now taking CVs via TikTok,

is going to be riddled with stupidity. Please do not consider me for any position. They'll be like, he's a laugh. I feel like you'd nap on beds as well. Absolutely. I feel like you'd nap

on beds. I'll clean the fifth floor today. I asked lovely Sasha at QT Hotel when I was there the other day getting my tattoo. Do you ever just like

pull up in a room and have a nap? She's like, I'm not going to say no. I would. I'd have a bath. I would. Have a nap.

But then they've got to Clean the whole room again Don't they Just because you had a nap I don't Just do that thing When I've had a nap When I said I definitely Wasn't having a nap

And you just like Go And put your hands Over the duvet To take out the imprint Make it taut Yeah Good stuff

Taut that up. Today's Silly Little Pole is Silly Little Pole. Today's Silly Little Pole, it's all about holding hands. And the result surprised me. How do you hold hands? So when you were out with Aaron, how do you? Do you cup? We cup. Or interlock fingers?

Because he's got such big hands. The sausages are two different sizes. I've got chipolatas and he's got a pork and sage. I would have said you've got sizzlers. You've got quite long. No, just because they're so skinny. No, because they're skinny. Because they're skinny.

The chipolata is also a skinny sausage. No, the chipolata is little and I would have thought, you're thinking like a save-loy. Unbelievable that you say that I've got sizzler fingers. I said you've got long and skinny fingers. Double cheese. These are chipolatas. No, chipolatas are like short and stumpy. No.

No, they're skinny. Chipolatas are a skinny breakfast. I was thinking of like little saffloys. What are you calling your fingers? Cheerios? I will effing walk. I will leave. That's what I thought you were saying.

All right, Pelloni. All right, Pelloni palms. Yeah. All right, Mr. Treats-O-Roll. I can't win. I've dug a hole. When holding hands, which do you prefer? Cupped hands or interlocking your Pellonis?

Or sizzlers. Or sizzlers. Interlocked fingers, 67%. Cupped hands, 33%. I don't like the feeling. I think I... Sade and I interlock. We don't hold hands very often, but we would feeling I think I shout out I interlock We don't hold hands

Very often But we would interlock I might hold hands With her today Good boy That's nice Make a move Yeah make a move

And give her a big tongue pash I love tongue Couples don't do that enough You know what I mean I think I've said I don't know if I've said it on air We've been moving back to the pash To the pash

Big pash Big pash energy in 2023 Wow After you've been with someone For a while You sort of stop pashing Yeah dude I know it's nuts I love it I love passion Did you get pash. Big pash energy in 2023. After you've been with someone for a while you sort of stop pashing. Yeah dude, I know it's nuts. I love it. I love passion. Do you get pash rash?

Nah, when you're in a soft bed. When I've pashed Vaughan I don't get the rash. Nah. Do you get a rash when you pash Vaughan? No, it's very soft. Listeners won't know this but when we to connect for the day we make out. Yeah, we do. We never stopped over the pandemic either.

When I voted... I won't be told not to pass. When I voted, interlocking fingers was like 70%, but it's only just below that. That's still... No, I cup.

Cupping. I cup, and then you move it from which side for who's on front, like that. Some messages in. Kate says,

cupped means you only want to be friends. Oh. Jeez, Kate. I think it's more of a size... Hand size difference. Yeah. When you've. I think it's more of a size. Hand size difference. Yeah.

When you've got skinny, beautiful chipolatas like that. Chelsea says, feel like you're a child again holding a parent's hand. If you cup it, you've got to interlock the fingers. Oh, I'm doing it wrong.

Monique says, my husband has bigger hands and fingers than me, so interlocking fingers isn't comfortable. It stretches my little pinky too far apart. Yeah, the webbing in your hands

will get a workout. Yeah. Shay says, sometimes my husband and I spice it up by holding our palms flat against each other just for shits and gigs. Just walking with a hand flat. Oh my God, it'd be like being in the sun. Yeah.

Interlock during the day. We hold hands cupped at night to fall asleep. Shit, that's a bit cute. That's real cute. That's real cute. Brenna, my boyfriend and I have this joke where we sometimes walk with our hands flat together. Is this somebody else doing this weird flat thing?

Think of a high five that sticks. We get some funny looks from passersby, but we laugh. It's silly. And life is for living. Now, I would like Brianna and Shay. Are they the couple? Did they? I think Shay's.

No, she said my husband and she said my boyfriend. So that's two. We're just getting word that producer Jared does this as well. Yeah, but it's not like our regular thing. Normally we interlace fingers, but when we're feeling a little silly, goofy mood, we just do the hands flat. I want to try it. Or we just do fingertips touching.

But when you're walking down the street or on the couch? Oh, on the street. Or just walking down fingertips. Yeah, just fingertips touching. It's funny. Why are people doing this? It's weird. It's intimate.

It's just goofy and stuff. How? Yeah, I don't know how I feel about this. Should I still invite Jared to my house on Saturday? I think he's going to sound uninvited from employment too. Yeah, you've lost your job and your friends. Log out. All right, email us anything you need.

Unplug your headphones. Go. Melinda says, most of the time interlock, but sometimes it's too sweaty, so I just hold the pinky. Ooh, okay. Waffle hold versus pancake hold there. Oh, yeah, okay.

Waffle is interlocked. Yeah. Pancake is flat. Flat cupped. Yeah. Okay, good stuff. Oh, gross. Somebody said, sometimes I just hold my partner's pocket

when we walk around. That's what they do in prison. They don't. To indicate that that's... And a very happy birthday to Dawn. It's her birthday today. Happy birthday, Dawn. Happy birthday.

It's a new Dawn. Happy birthday. It's a new day. It's a new life. Something. For me, and I'm feeling good. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Join me in rejoicing because Threads is now deletable

without having to delete your Instagram. Oh yes. Now we were all, I mean I don't want to make us sound old and fuddy duddy but when Threads came out we were all like what and we all got it and went ugh. Sorry I'm not at all listening. We should talk

about this game. Yeah we should, we will. After this. Should we talk about this? I can't, by the way I can't turn that off. We're talking about Threads. Now you hated Threads. No I just will. After this. I can't, by the way, I can't turn that off. We're talking about threads. Now, you hated threads. No, I just didn't need it. I didn't hate it. I felt wildly indifferent to it. I was like, I don't want that. But do you remember we all signed up because we wanted our username

and we wanted to sign up because this was going to be the next big thing and then two days later we were all like, we immediately regret this. And then Elon Musk made Twitter even more of a cesspool than it was. I know. So. But still, they just didn't.

It didn't have the same features or the same kind of. I think we spent maybe an afternoon on it and we all went, I don't know. And then as a show, we were like, should we do it? But they showed you so much random crap and random people. It was crap. I don't want to see these people. And then so we all went, I want to delete my profile and they were like, no, no, no, no,

no. Because then you'd have to delete your entire Instagram. Now we all love Instagram. Yeah, so we're like, oh well I guess we're keeping it now then. So we all deleted the app. We had to have the account but we've just sat there. None of us have posted on it. Well now they've announced that finally you can delete your Threads account

separately from your Instagram. Get rid of it. No one's using it. I mean, you know, that finally you can delete your threads account separately from your Instagram. Get rid of it. No one's using it. I mean, you know, I don't mean to... Does that mean if you delete threads that the threads that pop up in your Instagram feed will disappear? Because I hate that. I know. Get out of my platform of choice.

Yeah, like get out. Tell people that screenshot their tweets and then put them on Instagram. I was like, stay in your. Yeah. Stay in their thing. Stay in your lane. Anyway, I'm going to go on. I'm going to delete mine.

Log in. I don't even know. I don't even know. How did I get on here? Well, good luck with that. It's not delete from a certain time. Is it now? It's now.

Okay, good. Because I don't want people deleting their Instagram account. On my word. Yeah, on your word. Okay, well, just I don't want people deleting their Instagram account. On my word. Yeah, on your word. Okay, well, just do your own research. You know, it's early and I've read one article about it. But, yeah, I'm deleting mine. We've been playing a game in the studio, and I tell you what, it is fun.

This game rules. Shannon bought us this game. Yeah, she did, Shannon. She is the games queen. Yeah. She's got me into connections. She's got me into the New York Times. New York Shannon. She is the games queen. Yeah. She's got me into connection. She's got me into the New York Times. New York Times mini crossword.

And the online games queen. Yeah. Yeah. Would you, Vaughan, like to make one? Yes, I would. And Fletch can have a go and we'll play it. We'll try and guess it. And you explain it.

I will explain it next. Now? Now. Oh. We've got final rankings next. Okay. Just tell us about the game real quick. We're having two different topics in one breath.

Wow, this is spicy. I like it. I don't know. This is unlike you, sir. 30 seconds, tell us about your game, Go. No, it shouldn't be rushed. It's a really good game. It's called Spottle. S-P-O-T-L-E

Spottle dot I-O. Now go to Spottle. S-P-O-T-L-E, Spottle, dot I-O. Now go to Spottle. The idea is it's like Wordle, except it's one of the top 1,000 artists on Spotify. And it's not like Hurdle where they play you a clip of a song. No. Only if you get it. You just randomly guess one, an artist, and it auto-corrects.

Now I couldn't get it to work in Google Chrome on my phone, but in Safari it worked. So you go, I just went and put in Miley Cyrus and then it tells you

whether the debut album was what year it was, whether you were close, lower, higher. The amount of band members? The group size. So I've picked one close to American.

Close to American? Canadian. Oh, Nickelback. Group size one, gender female. Avril Lavigne. Alanis Morissette. Or Alanis Morissette. Or to American. Canadian. Oh, knuckleback. Group size one, gender female. Avril Lavigne. Alanis Morissette. Or Alanis Morissette.

Or Shania Twain. Shania. And you only get 10 guesses. Twain. Right. And it's like, when you get one right, like the nationality, it goes green. And so you know you're in the right country. So it's not pop, rock, or country, but it's a one group female Canadian.

Jewel. Was it Canadian? No, but it's got to be female Canadian. Jewel. Jewel's Alaskan. No, but it's got to be in the top 1,000. One group female Canadian. Oh, my God. Who the hell is that? And it's not pop. It's not country, rock or pop.

And you can also make games for your friends as well. So you choose the artist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a custom game and you send them a link. And then when you get it, it starts playing. That's why before it started playing the cranberries because Hayley set me the challenge of guessing the cranberries. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I know. I know who it is. I know who it is. Who is it? Celine. Oh, of course. Celine Dion.

Celine Dion. Dion. Is it? Is it right? Oh, my God. Not in Spotify's top 1,000. It's not Celine Dion. Did you spell it right?

Because you spelled it with an S there. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I know who it top 1,000. It's not Celine Dion. Did you spell it right? Because you spelled it with an S there. Oh my God. Oh my God. I know who it is. Who? Avril Lavigne. Avril Lavigne. I said Avril Lavigne before.

It's not Avril Lavigne. Of course you know her. She's pop. What the hell? Oh my. Anyway, it's a great game. What's the thingy again? Spottle.

Like Wordle. Yep. It's got spot and then alley on the end. Dot I-O. This is great. It's so much fun. Now I don't know who it is. Great way to kick the day off.

Come back. I'll tell you at the top of the next break who it is if I get it. Next on the show, it's final rankings. And today we're going to rank the positions in the car. Driver, passenger, middle, back left, back right, in the boot. Shocker. In the boot. Or on the roof if you're really short of space.

We're playing our new favourite game, Spottle. Nelly Furtado. It was Nelly Furtado. I didn't even know she was Canadian. I knew she was Canadian. But they said it wasn't pop and that kind of threw me from her. But R&B was the category they had her in. You can hear Nelly Furtado and many more on Friday Jams today from Nine Vaughan.

Great subtle plug there for the upcoming radio segment. Thank you, Vaughan. This would be a good drinking game. I mean, anything. It's a great game. This would be great every time someone gets done wrong. Yes. Great.

It's the final rankings. Today for final rankings, we haven't ranked food for a while. She eats lolly cake. Oh, we should, though. Oh, my God, we haven't ranked food for a while. She eats lolly cake. Oh, we should though. Oh my God, we should do bakery treats. We've done that. I believe we've done that. Today, positions in the car.

Seating where you can sit in the car. Hayley. Hayley for the space alone. What? Hayley. You know, I'm a huge fan of Missionary. It's my number one position. It's a timeless classic. Okay, C-10. You've got to have a very big car for a huge fan of Missionary. It's my number one position. It's a timeless classic,

but you've got to have a very big car for a man of my size to be enjoying that. C-team. Beautiful God-approved position. Okay, obviously driving is better, right?

And middle seat is my last position. Safest. I don't think we include in the boot because that's not a legal position. I would rather go

in the boot than in the middle because you're the hero if you're going somewhere and there's too many people. I always like I would rather go in the boot than in the middle because you're the hero. If you're going somewhere and there's too many people, I always like, I'll jump in the boot. And people are like, namaste. It's not safe, though. It's not safe.

Down the road, add a stretch. Down the road, yeah. Sure. Or if you're on, you're restricted and you don't want anyone to catch you and your mates. Friends in the boot, yeah. I hate being the front passenger. I really, because I feel I'm so close to being in control.

But you're not. But I'm not. Okay. I can't stand when Aaron drives. But on a roadie, you would rather be driving or in the back seat. Always driving number one. I mean, I think we can all agree. Got to be in charge.

No, but some people don't like driving. They love their partners driving them. Mm-mm. Not you. Mm-mm. He does't like driving. They love their partners driving them. Not you. He does it all wrong. He does it all wrong. He's either too fast or too slow. And he doesn't educate out of the roundabout. I'm married to one of you as well.

When it comes to driving. So watch out! That! And the car's a hundred, two hundred, three hundred metres in the... Whoa, careful! And then the subtle grab of the hand. Grab of the hand round. White knuckled grab of everything. And then if it gets too bad

and I'm in a little bit of a titchy mood, I'll pull over and be like, you're driving then. No, no, no, no. I don't want to drive. Then shut your mouth. Do you know what I do which drives Aaron nuts? If he, if everything.

Yep. Exist. Exist, yeah. Is turn his wind wipers off when I feel like it's done. Oh, leave them on! I love a dry, squeaky windscreen. You do, you always do. I leave them on way too long. I nearly swore at you

because I hate it. No more rain, cuz, like, turn it off. Come on! I love leaving it on. I just whack it. I'll just leave the blinker on sometimes just to wind turn it off. Cuz? Come on. So I just whack it. I'll just leave the blinker on sometimes just to wind shut it up. Oh, no. Okay, well, middle seat, yuck.

Middle back, that's the last. Clammy. It's just the thighs are clammy. It's clammy. And, you know, if you hit something straight through the windscreen. I like sitting behind the driver. Behind the driver and he can fiddle with your shoulders. No, sitting behind the passenger

because then you can ask them to push your seat forward. You can't ask the driver to be in discomfort as they are offering the premium service. The middle's good though because you've got air in front of you before the glove box. If you get car sick, it's a good one because you've got a better vision. Well, do you think we'd all agree driver one, passenger two,

and then left back behind the passenger? Yeah. I'm going driver one, left back passenger, left right passenger. I still get carsick like a little baby. I don't. I hate being in the back. Baby Vaughn. He's a baby boy.

He's a little baby. He's a little baby boy. You always drive when we go away anywhere as a group. Yeah. He likes that. Yeah, and I a little baby. He's a little baby boy. You always drive when we go away anywhere as a group. Yep. Yep. He likes that. Yeah, and I'll jump in the back because I'm like, if I'm not driving, then I don't want to have a bar of it.

Someone is, a couple of questions. Okay, yep. The FAQ section of Friday Rankings. Welcome. Are we taking into account bench seats? You know, they don't make them anymore. They don't really make them, no. They don't come with bench seats anymore,

but you used to be able to sit all across the front. Oh, yeah, our friends have a big van, and I went in the car with them the other day, and it went the driver, the bench middle person, and then the front passenger. That was fun. And somebody wants to know if we are taking into consideration Mitsubishi sports packs.

We personally haven't. Oh, yeah, no, we personally haven't, no. Yeah, vans are a different case altogether because you've got rows of seats. See, even in a van, I'm more up the front. If you're getting a shuttle or a van, because then at the back, you get all bumpy. And there's 10 other people back there.

You and the driver can have your own private conversation. You're in charge of music. Okay, so final ranking. I reckon we go driver number one. Of course. Front passenger number two. Yep. Behind the front passenger number three.

Yep. Agreed. That's a good ranking. Agreed. I reckon. Then behind the driver. Then the middle. Yes.

The middle's the pits. And then the boot. Then the boot. But not encouraging the boot. Then in the back of the trailer. No, absolutely not. Bumping around. Strap down. Strap around. Strap down.

Strap down. Strap down. There'll be a few people waking up a little bit hungover this morning. Yeah. Friday's live on a Thursday last night at Spark Arena in Auckland. Yeah, it was a great night. People were expecting us to be quite dusty and hungover this morning. Well, I did.

You may notice I brought, I got an orange juice, nice pulpy orange juice. Neat pulp. In anticipation for perhaps some dust today. And no doubt we're dust free actually. Have we ever done a silly little poll on pulp versus not pulp orange juice?

We should. That would be a good one. And also sub silly little Pole, mimosas, because that could change your mind, because Sproul was pro-pulpy mimosas. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a pro-pulpy mimosa. See, I'm a pulpy orange juice guy, but mimosas,

it's no pulp and... No, yeah. It's the fizz and the pulp. Fizz and pulp combo really gets me going. I like it. Well, maybe a dual double syllable pole on that very matter. But yeah, so were you prepared? But we actually...

Did a hard taper. Yeah, we were very mature and didn't... We drank lots of tequilas and then when we got there, kind of played it chill. But man, it was awesome. Were you on the Albers last night? Yeah. Is that your tequila of choice?

Yeah. That is a hot rocket tequila. Oh, it's delicious. I even had a water at some, I even had some waters. Yeah, we stopped at, there was a water station. Wait a minute, what's the alcoholic content of water? A zero. I think it's a 0.5.

There is a little bit in there. Oh, a little something. Wait, was it from your tap? Oh, that's a 2.6. No. Was it from your tap? My tap is fine. Your tap has the same alcohol content as cough syrup. And it's of a similar viscosity. It doesn't. It's a 2.6. No. The water from your tap? My tap is fine. Your tap has the same alcohol content as cough syrup.

And it's of a similar viscosity. It doesn't. It's very thick. You've got to do like a hard swallow. So we got there and we were just there in time to see Jojo take the stage. And oh my God, she was incredible. Do you know why we were a little bit late? Dilly dallying.

Yeah, we were one of the friends at Dilly Dally. Dilly and he dallyed. Well, no, doctors can never be on time. Yeah. Even if you were the first appointment of his day. He was hoursing Yeah, we've got a lot of Friends at Dilly-dally Dilly and he dallies Well no, that's Doctors can never be on time Yeah, no Even if you were the first Appointment of his day He wanted doctor's hours

Yeah, yeah If you were the first Appointment of his day He'd somehow be 15 minutes Behind already He was meant to come around At like two Two

And he was there at four Did he make He blamed the other patients Yes And a light-hearted Sort of like apology That he definitely Didn't have any heart in

Yeah, yeah Sorry about the wait Sorry about that. Sorry about that. Yeah. Other patients. You could have helped me. We're being on time. Anyway, yeah, we got there.

And do you know what? I think some people thought, you know, Jojo, she was so young with her big, big hits. Yeah. Like, can she still? Oh, my God. Because I had some friends that we always said, oh, what's this going to be like? And I was like, she is on Broadway. She's just finished Merlin Rouge.

She's going to be amazing. Her vocals were going to be primed. Yeah, she was incredible. Her vocals were insane. Flo Rida got on someone's shoulders, went around the crowd. Flo Rida's a big man to have someone's shoulders. The guy carrying him was also a big unit.

Yeah, a couple of units there. I've got to say the highlight of the night, you know, Flo Rida had absolute bangers and Jason Derulo, amazing. The voice to me were great. We were all singing along.

But the absolute highlight was Kelly Rowland who did like a Destiny's Child medley and was incredible live. Look, she came out first physically.

I don't want to break her down to just how she looks. Jesus, Louisa. She's keeping it tight. She's 42. I had to Google. I was like, how old is she? She's 42. She's been babysitting her body.

Yeah. Unreal. Insane. And then she just was like, the command. Like, she like strutted out onto stage and she was just like, this is my show. And then everyone was like, I wonder in what order she's going to do it. And then she goes, oh, Kelly, I love you. And everyone was like, she started with what order she's going to do it. And then she goes, oh, Kelly, I love you. And it was like, she started with that.

Dilemma, yeah. And then everyone was singing along to Mary's got the same size hands as Marilyn. And then she did a few of her like more, her newer bangers. And then, yeah, the Destiny's Child medley was unreal. She had all the bingers. What did she do for the other? Did she just do her parts? She did like, yeah, she did like a minute of each song kind of thing. Yeah, probably the bits that had all the biggest. What did she do for the other? Did she just do her parts? She did like, yeah,

she did like a minute of each song kind of thing. probably the bits that she was the lead in. Yeah. But there was everything, like Survivor. Yeah, it was so good. And Say My Name,

Jumpin' Jumpin', Bills. Oh my God, it was just. So good. Such a good night. Such a good night. And I'll tell you what,

rhinestones and denim, we just don't see enough of them. We don't, no. We just don't see enough of that. It's a hell So good. Such a good night. Such a good night. And I'll tell you what, rhinestones and denim, we just don't see enough of them. We don't, no. We just don't see enough of that. That's a hell of a combo. And getting excited as well for Paramore, which is tomorrow. We've got a couple of tickets for you to win soon

with Friday Flashback after eight. Happy to take some suggestions from our listeners, 9696, at which Paramore song you want to hear for Friday Flashback. Yep. Misery Business is up there as the one for grabs. Yeah, that's a banger. That's what I'm feeling.

It's such a banger. Next on the show, though. There is a restaurant that is serving bottomless pigs in a blanket. It caught my attention and it got me thinking, what do I want to be bottomless? ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. German supermarket. Aldi?

Yeah, they've got it in, it's in Aussie. Yeah. It's in the UK, all over Europe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they are. They're the ones that have like, you can get a kayak. Yeah, dude, it's nuts. It's bananas.

You can get like shaved ham bananas. Like a Walmart. Harry Potter themed bananas. Yeah, and a kayak. Bizarre. Well, you can also get pigs in a blanket, sausages wrapped in bacon with a skewer through it. Okay.

Wait, so the pigs are in a blanket of their own flesh? Yeah. I thought pig in a blanket was... Pastry. I did too. I thought it was pastry. Yeah, I think there's different versions of it. I thought it was a sausage in pastry.

But pigs in a blanket, there's... I've done like... I can't remember the call, but you can do like scallops in a blanket, which is bacon wrapped around. It's basically sausage rolls. Okay. Yeah.

Jamie Oliver's pigs in a blanket is bacon. Bacon. Okay. A meat wrapped in a thing. Yeah. And now they have announced that this year

they're expecting to sell 43 million bacon wrapped sausages, pigs in a blankie. And not only that, they're going to sell 43 million bacon-wrapped sausages, pigs in a blankie. And not only that, they're going to open a temporary restaurant that will offer bottomless pigs in a blanket. How many sausages wrapped in bacon could you devour? And they're little sausages. Have they set the price?

Because I don't know if I could do many of those. Like, that's one of those things you think you could eat bottomless. Five pound a person. So ten buck. Yep. Oh my God. Getting to get your sausage. Somebody messaged in.

If we're talking bottomless, have you guys heard of bottomless cake at Jack and Beyond? For 90 minutes, you pay an entry to Jack and Beyond and you eat as much cake as you can. Why could I only eat like two slices? Is this in New Zealand? No, it's in London. It's in Fantasy.

Oh my God. Well, this is what I wanted to ask because I was like, yeah, I'm pigs in a blanket, but what would I want to be bottomless? Now, I love bottomless mimosas at a bottomless brunch. I love a bottomless Genghis Khan,

you know, Mongolian barbecue. The thing about a bottomless brunch, the food's not bottomless and that's the issue. The food is minimal. The food is minimal. Minimal. Yeah.

You've got 90 minutes to get as trashed as you want. We'll give you one egg on a scone and that's the issue. The food is minimal. The food is minimal. Minimal. Yeah. You've got 90 minutes to get as trashed as you want and we'll give you one egg on a scone and that's it. Yeah. Oh! These cakes,

I'm sorry, completely zoned out. The bottomless cakes. I'm just watching the real I couldn't eat that teeny cakes. No, Matt, like maybe

No, you can go up and just get slices and be like, I'll have a slice of that one, I'll have a slice of that one, and you can just pile your plate up with slices of different cake and I'm down. Even still, you're only going to eat like three slices, right?

Well, this is what I want. Let the conversation flow. If you could have a restaurant, pie in the sky, money's no option. Money's no issue. What would you want to be bottomless? But it's got to be food though, right? Not like diamonds. Food or beverages. What would you want to be bottomless? But it's got to be food though, right? Not like diamonds. Food or beverages.

What would you want to be bottomless? Sade's cousin owns a chain of restaurants in Thailand and you pay... This is the first I'm hearing of this. I'm sorry, I've been to Thailand so many times. I'm sorry, but we've been friends for how many years and this is the first time you've told me you've got an in to a bottomless restaurant in Thailand.

It's meats oh my god so you pay and you get like I think we've got the family I think for family we were allowed

as long as we wanted but they ship you in and they start a timer on your table and you've got 90 minutes and it's as much beer as you can drink and as much meat

as you can eat in 90 minutes okay let's take some calls news to us for this wild man and people are just like go let's take some calls. News to us, boys. It's wild, man. And people are just like, go.

Let's take some calls. 0800-DARLS-IT-IN. Text us at 9696. You have a restaurant. It is a bottomless what? What do you want the restaurant to be bottomless in? I want to know, if you were to open a bottomless restaurant, what would be bottomless?

I love this question. What would be bottomless? Because Aldi is opening a restaurant that would be bottomless pigs in a blanket. This is overseas. Now you're question. What would be bottomless? Because Aldi is opening a restaurant, there'd be bottomless pigs in a blanket. This is overseas. Now you're streaming. What's happening? Christ Church has an all-you-can-eat barbecue Brazilian meat skewers. Crazy good, but the meat sweats

hit hard. Yeah, of course they do. Of course they do. You would give that place a run for its money, that is absolutely for sure. Oh, papi. Oh, si papi, get out of here. No, papi. No absolutely for sure. Oh, papi. Oh, si papi, get out of here. No, papi. No, papi. No, papi.

Um, um, um, um. Jess, what would your ideal all-you-can-eat be? Uh, ideal all-you-can-eat would be dumplings, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yep. Yum. Dumplings are so versatile. Yeah. Isn't it amazing how every culture kind of had meat encased in a carbohydrate somehow?

Like our web famous fries. We've got pies. Empanadas. Dumplings. Yum. Samosas. You can go around the world. Yeah, you can.

Would you pair that with anything, like a drink? Well, I'd have to say my favourite would be a margarita. I don't know if they go together. Who cares? Dumps suck. Who cares? Oh, yeah, yeah. We've got to go now. Let'sgarita. I don't know if they go together. Who cares? Who cares? Oh, yeah, yeah. We've got to go. Let's spitball this, Brian.

Dumps and margs. Dumps and margs. Dumps and margs. Dumps and margs. Dumps and margs. Yeah, dumps and margs. Dumps and margs. What would be ideal would be bottomless tacos and margs.

Yes. Tarks and margs. Yes, yes, yes. With stations. Yeah. Tortillas here and you just like fill a plate with tortillas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you go, there's bats and pork and chicken.

Infinity margs. Oh, my God, yes. Jess, thank you. with stations. Yeah. Tortillas here and you just like fill a plate with tortillas and you go, there's vats of pork and chicken. Infinity marks. Oh my God, yes. Jess, thank you. Patrick, what would your ideal all-you-can-eat be? I think you can't go past Little Red Sausages. Cheerios?

Like Savalois. Yeah, the little ones. Right. I'm going to say you, I reckon you can go past them. I could happily walk straight past them. Especially if they've been in the boiling pot for too long

and they've blown themselves inside out. And they've split open. How much would this all-you-can-eat Savalloy restaurant be, Patrick? How much would you be charging us per person? Probably like $6.25. Oh, jeez. You're going bankrupt, Patrick. This has to be a $2 all-you-can-eat.

Yeah, I don't know what's in those Savalloys. See, we didn't even want the Savalloys, but you're charging such a ridiculously low amount, we're going to bankrupt you. Love that. Thank bankrupt, Patrick. This has to be a $2 all you can have. Yeah, I don't know what's in those Savaloys. See, we didn't even want the Savaloys, but you're charging such a ridiculously low amount, we're going to bankrupt you. Love that. Thank you, Patrick. Keep your texts coming in. We're in a hypothetical world,

and we're all opening restaurants that are bottomless. We've all talked about it, though, right? Yeah. Opening a restaurant or having a food truck, and it seems like a fun thing, and then you go to a food truck night, and you're like, these people are run off their feet. Oh, they're hard workers.

And the popular ones are a mile long line. Oh my God, I really want to open a cocktail bar. And then I remember that that's just hospo. And I was like, oh no. No, I just want to come up with the idea of it. Do you remember when we went to an all you can eat pancakes on the Gold Coast?

They get you every time. They get you. And we were just like, we're going to get them. We're going to smash them. I'm so hungry. We're going to eat so many. And we were just like, we're going to get them. We're going to smash them. I'm so hungry. We're going to eat so many. And then we couldn't even get through like three dry pancakes.

Yeah, dry pancakes. And you're not allowed any of the special stuff. You're out of maple syrup. That's it. Yeah. It's too dry. And I think we paid like, what was it, $19.95 for three pancakes. Of course you did.

Of course you did. They were laughing all the way to the International Bank of Pancakes. Yeah. Yeah, that's where pancake restaurants put their money. The International Bank. The Pancake Bank. The the way to the International Bank of Pancakes. Yeah. Yeah, that's where pancake restaurants put their money. The Pancake Bank? Mm, Pancake Bank. International Bank of Pancakes. The Pan...

The International Pancake Monetary Fund is in debt to China, though. I'll tell you that much. Oh, yeah, because they got into the real estate. Yeah, and those are some thin pancakes. The Chinese pancakes are thin, delicious, stuck-filled pancakes with some spring onions and some hoisin sauce. Donna, what would your all-you-can-eat restaurant be? Oh, morning, guys.

How are you? Good morning to you, Donna. Didn't mean to startle you. Sorry for startling you, Donna. It's okay. I'm thinking something I can really gorge on, an absolute treat. I'm going for fudge. Oh, no.

What? You're a sweet tooth. I didn't have you pinned as a sweet tooth. Oh, no, I am. I need a savoury. Jesus. No, no. What? You're a sweet tooth. I didn't have you pinned as a sweet tooth. Oh, no, I am. I'm either savoury. No, it's not sweet. No, no way. See, if I were to know where you can eat fudge places,

I love Russian fudge. Oh, the best. Yeah, Russian, yeah, for sure. All the caramely ones. I still don't think I could eat too much. I have two slight, yeah. I'm not even thinking about it. I'm thinking you have to pair it with a gin,

maybe infused with some lime and that sort of thing. Donna, you're right. You've got to cut through. You've got to cut through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're hanging back there, Donna. Thank you, Donna. Jesus, Donna.

Great suggestion. Gin and fudge. I love that. Come to Donna's gin and fudge. Thank you, Dan. What would your all-you-can-eat restaurant be? I was thinking, like, any style of potatoes. Wait, so all potatoes?

Mashed, fried chips. Crisps. Crisps. Hash bites. Waffle. Hash browns. The little taters. The little tatey tots.

Tatey tots. Dude, there's no better use of potato than tater tots. Than a tot. This is good. Oh, what about a gratin? Would you have a selection of dipping sauces, Dan? Yeah, listen. Maybe some, like, you know, like some gravies.

Some cheese sauces. Gravies. Cheese sauces, gravies. And what would this potato all-you-can-eat potato restaurant be called? Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes. Yeah. Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What about spuds, spuds, spuds? And a flat. Spuds. Spuds, spuds, spuds. Spuds, sp, potatoes. Yeah. Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes. Yeah, that was when we were poor and flat. Spuds. Spuds, spuds, spuds. Spuds, spuds, spuds. Spuds are plenty. Yeah. Imagine if you were hungover, you'd be like, guys, can we just go to potato, potato, potato?

Would you do a potato salad for unfun people? No, shut up. Or would that be normal? Sorry about him, Dan. Shut up. I'm sorry, Dan. There's shush, shush, shush, shush. I'm there saying, oh, there's a salad.

I love a potato salad, but it's got absolutely no place in potatoes, potatoes, potatoes. Spuds, spuds, spuds. Spuds, spuds, spuds. Spuds, spuds, spuds. Yeah, yeah. Dan, thank you. Some messages in to finish. Someone said panipuri.

Panipuri, yum. Which is a deep fried bread sphere. Must be a sphere. It's like these little discs and then you pop them open, you fill them up with stuff. Yeah, potato. Chickpea, yeah. Indian street food snack. You could totally do that.

Could totally hit that. Bottomless ice cream. Again, my teeth hurt at the suggestion but I love it. Bottomless bacon sandwiches. Buddies. Bacon buddies. Bottomless buddies. You couldn't do too many of those because the bread would fill you up. You just call that buddies, buddies, buddies. Yeah.

Sushi. Bottomless sushi. I feel like I've done that and you can't do a lot. Yeah. A lot of rice. A lot of rice. Predominantly rice. Chicken nuggets.

You could finger the meat out. You could finger the meat out. Why are you fingering the meat out? Sorry, or you can eat sushi, because then you get more meat. Oh, and you're eating the meat out. Yeah, and then chuck the rice out. But I reckon they'd have a rule about that. Why would you finger it out when you could just eat it straight out?

Because then you're still going to get a bit of rice. Are you using your chopsticks? I'd get the chopsticks and do like a game of Operation. Yes. And just pick out the little teriyaki chicken bib. I'd leave the cucumber because yuck. A bit of crunch though. A little sashimi.

I'll get that out. I like the capsicum and the avocado. With the wooden tweezers. The wooden chopsticks? They also call them chopsticks the avocado. With the wooden tweezers. They also call them chopsticks. Yeah, wooden tweezers. Somebody said that Hamilton also has a bottomless Brazilian barbecue skewers. Right.

As a ambassador, I can say. As a ambassador. That sounds like a fantastic idea. I would have a restaurant that was called Bottomless Discontinued Grates. And you could go and eat grates. So all the great stuff that's been discontinued. Bottomless Snifters. Yeah. Bottomless Tangy Fruits.

Bottomless Nerd Ropes. Bottomless Karage Chicken. Now we're going to talk about this soon on the show. Oh yes, there's a bit. There's been a Karage Chicken incident. I was in tears last night. My beautiful mother is just continuing to deliver

rural white New Zealand mispronunciations. It's coming up. Paramore, you can see them tomorrow in Auckland Spark Arena. Still a few tickets left. Ticketmaster for those that's at Spark Arena. Very excited for the show. Yeah, me too. Can't wait. Can't wait to rock out with my knees

out. Joining us in the crowd somewhere, Julianne. Good morning. Hi, good morning. A double pass for you. Congratulations. See you tomorrow night. Thank you so much. My sister and her work colleague are going and she

invited me to come along but obviously not go to the concert because I didn't have a ticket. Because of the Cozzy Libby cry. Yeah, the Cozzy Libby cry. Yeah. Fletch, I'll tell you what to worry about tomorrow. Fletch has got the drinks. He'll buy you whatever drinks you want.

I had people around for pre's last night before Fridays and the drinks. He'll buy you whatever drinks you want. I know. Only if a particular bar team is on. I had people round for pre's last night before Fridays, and the drinks really got absolutely slammed. Yeah. We took out the rubbish this morning. We were clinking our way down the stairs. Julian, have a great time. Some feedback.

Friday flashback. Was it well received? I'm sure it would have been. Terrible song. Oh, that was not nice. Sorry, I don't know who that is. So excited. It's going to be pumping. Terrible song. Oh, that was not nice. Sorry, I didn't know you were there. So excited. It's going to be pumping.

Yaz Paramore. Yaz. Somebody actually wants to know if she's up your alley. Hayley. 100%. She's up your alley. She's a bit up your alley. She's a dabbler.

She's a dabbler. She's a dabbler. Al Hayley. Yeah, definitely. That Hayley's a dabbler. Fletcher's trying to find the tone of the people I'm into and every now and then I know

like we're out I'm like are you into would that be your type is that a bit of you oh no well off is that a bit of you oh yeah and then he said

there's a boy he said there's a boy who looks like a lesbian is that a bit of you and I said no I like lesbians that look like boys you've got it the wrong way around yeah I got it the wrong way around close but no cigar

I'm good at this game I know what my friends, I've got it the wrong way around. Close, but no cigar. I'm good at this game. I know what my friends like. I've got Vaughn down now, for sure. I'm very... A little bit of Melistin. But we don't know which part. I don't know where you're from. That's my type.

Brown hair. That's Vaughn's type. I don't know where you're from. I'm not going to ask, because I know that's not what you do. Yeah, sure. Where are you from? You don't say that.

Speaking of international incidences... Last night, my parents... I didn't go to ask because I know that's not what you do. Yeah, sure. Where are you from? You don't say that. Speaking of international incidences. Last night, my parents, I didn't go to Friday jams because my parents were coming up to look after the children. They're flying out to Australia today and they got caught in some, they shut them to Southern Motorway for like five hours yesterday. Holy moly. Because that sounds like a fatal accident. That's what they're doing. Horrendous. Yeah, horrible.

So they were like, it took them five and a half hours to get from Morrisville to my house so it's usually like hour 45 sort of situation wow so Christine needed a coffee and a wee

when she got home I bet she did do you want a wine mum I need a coffee weird because most people would want to relax and not have a coffee but anyway

knock yourself out but it doesn't touch the science with her because she has a coffee before bed but a cup of tea when she wakes up she has a coffee before bed. But a cup of tea when she wakes up. She is a wild unit.

You just called your mum a wild unit. She's a wild unit. She's unpredictable. She's random. So we took her down the pub for a meal. She made dad get out of his high-vis shirt. What pub did you go to? The Tev.

Our Tev. Nice. And then we walked in And everybody's there In high-vis And dad's like 100% you wear a high-vis Dad was livid My mate

I'm getting changed Because she's like You can't wear those work boots And put some long pants on It's the pub for the working man I know And then we get there And he was just like

So he's shitty They've just been in traffic For five hours And he got told to get out of his high-vis vest, his high-vis polo and work boots and then get down there and everybody's wearing that. He's like, God, I want to fit in better.

And then we're standing there looking to order and mum, the special was chicken parmigiana. And dad was like, I might get that. And mum did what she did and told him what he's doing wrong which she famously has done

and they've been married for coming up 47 years? Yeah. No, is that right? Yeah. They got married young. He knows his place. And she said

don't order the chicken parmigiana because you know you'll have one of those when we're in Australia. She's right. But wait, he's got more than one chicken parmy a week?

They do it better over there. They do do a great chicken parmy. So then they were looking through the menu and mum says, what is chicken car rage? Car rage. And I'm lost. I don't even know what she's looking at. Car rage, like raging when you're in a car.

They've just been in the car for five hours. There might be some rage. George has just clicked what she's ordered. What's chicken car rage? And then the lady working in the car for five hours. There might be some rage. George has just clicked what she's ordered. What's chicken car rage? And then the lady working in the bar said, oh, darling, it's not pronounced that way.

It's pronounced chicken caraggy. That's not right either. I'm stuck between two women in their 60s who don't know how to say it. Not an ounce of ethnicity between them. I mean, exciting ethnicity.

My mother is where I get all my Irish and Scottish from. I'm looking between them and I'm like, oh, this is great stuff. No one knows how to say chicken karagi. Karagi. Yeah. And it's good. Oh, no, it's chicken karagi.

Karagi. Karagi. And I was just like, and mum's like, what is it? What is it? And I was like, you won't like it mum, it's spicy.

Not for me then, not for me. Not for me. I said it's like little strips, it's like fried chicken. She never had it. It's just fried chicken with mayonnaise. Almost like a schnitzel,

right, but with a tangy sauce on it. no, I guess like bites, like almost more of a chunky nugget. Yeah, but it can be like cut into bites, but like a schnitzel.

It's the way of cooking it. Yeah, it's fried chicken. It's just delicious fried chicken. What's not to love about that? It'd be too spicy for mum. Oh, God. It's got like no spice in it. It'd be too spicy for my mother.

The sauce, though, would be spicy. She'd be like, oh, that's spicy. I tell you what I need, a cup of tea. Yeah, yeah. A milky cup of tea. Unpredictable with what you're going to drink. So what did she, did she get the chicken car rage? No, she got the fish of the day.

She made me ask the lady what the fish of the day was. Oh, yep. And the lady said, teraki. Because, oh, I will remind you again, she's as white as my mother is. Yeah. Teraki. Mum's like, I love teraki.

So at least they agreed on the pronunciation of that. Terry's key. Terry's key. I love it. Where's the E in taraki here? Yeah. Teri's key. Teri's key. I love it. Where's the E in Taraki? Yeah, it's not there. It's just not there, is it? It's just not there.

Teraki. Yeah, but anyway. She got her Teri key. She got her some shikarage and a Teraki. Yeah. She got her Teri's key fish. And will one day, she said, try the kairagi chicken. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. She said, try the K-Raggy chicken. Every now and then my agent will email me

and they'll send a group email to the people on their books and they'll be like, hey, do you know someone that might do this? So it's not for you, but do you know someone? And it came across my... How often does an do this? So it's not for you, but do you know someone? And it came across my- How often does an audition come in where it's like, do you know someone? And one of the actors reply all say, I believe I'm capable of this.

I believe if you give me the challenge, I will step up to it. Well, that's what I'm wondering here. How often are you like, oh, that's rude. I could do that. Well, the audition I received yesterday, and I can't give any details of it, is for the role of a 10-year-old girl.

And they go, like, and they send it to everyone in their books to be like, maybe you've got a daughter or something. It doesn't need to be a trained actor like myself. Yeah. I just slipped into character there. Yes, you did. That's how 10-year-olds talk.

I've got an 11-year-old and a 9-year-old, and that's how they talk. They talk like that. Yeah, yeah, right. Wait, how 10-year-olds talk. I've got an 11-year-old and a 9-year-old, and that's how they talk. They talk like that. Yeah, yeah, right. Wait, so you think Vaughn's like a... Daddy, darling, welcome home. Are they wanting an adult to do a kid's voice, or do they want someone like Vaughn's kids to audition?

Well, I've got two options. One, I could get your daughters to send in a tape and they could enter the wonderful world of entertainment, but I know that you're already worried that August is turning into me. Is the... Is it voice or face? Voice and face. Voice and face.

Voice and face. The combo. If your face is on the screen, it'll be your voice. But the other option was I could give it a go. No, I thought it was just, my misunderstanding was this might have been just a voice needed for like a voice job. No, no, no, it's an acting role.

It's an acting role. You're so desperate for a gig right now that you'll take... Auditions have been pretty dry for me this year. Yeah, so you're even considering auditioning as a 10-year-old. Yeah. Hi. Wait, what's the... Give us

the background of this character. I can't. All they say is 10-year-old. It's a 10-year-old Kiwi girl in a drama. It's a drama-year-old Kiwi girl in a drama. It's a drama. It's a drama. All of us could do this. Well, what about, let's say it's for,

it's not Shoreland Street, but let's just use Shoreland Street. Let's say it's for Shoreland Street. Yes. Okay, so you play a doctor, and Hayley says she's a 10-year-old, she's been hit by a car, and her leg's poking out the other way.

Now you've got to remember to mention Roblox. Okay. It's all the kids are talking about. What else? Can you give me one other piece to help me drop into the role of a 10 year old girl? Roblox and

You Don't Know Where Your Mum Is. Okay. Wait, she's here by herself. Yeah, I've hobbled myself to the children's street. Dad could be here but you don't know

where your mum is. I've got the Shortland Street theme but it might be the old one or the new one. That's cool. I don't even know how to change. but it might be the old one or the new one. That's cool. I don't even know. I didn't even know it had changed.

Well, I'll say one thing about this goddamn hospital. The power bill's through the roof. Excuse me. Hello, I am your doctor but I'm also in charge of paying the power bill and I don't know if you just heard this

but Christ alive, this place is costing us a fortune. I don't know. I've got to put the light off when I leave. Why are you talking to me about bills? I'm only 10.

Hey, look, you're going to grow up sometime. Can you look at my leg? I was hit by a car. You were hit by a car? Yeah, I was too busy playing on my Roblox. I'm not sure

that's how Roblox works. I dropped my Roblox on the ground. No, you don't know. It's more of an app. It's more of an online gaming. I only just got them from Toy World. Okay, well, we'll leave that there. I think you might is. It's more of an app. It's more of an online gaming. And he just got them from Toy World.

Okay, well, we'll leave that there. I think you might be suffering a mild case of concussion. Look, my shin is coming through my skin. It really is. I don't know where my mum is. What did this car look like? It was a 1992 Mitsubishi Mirage. Did you get the number plate?

Yes. Okay, what was the number plate? Seven, seven, seven, seven. Listen here, you little shit. That's my the number plate? Yes. Okay, what was the number plate? Seven, seven, seven. Seven. Listen here, you little shit, that's my number plate in my car. I hit you and if you tell anybody, I'm gonna put a pillow over your face. Never!

I won't go down again! Cliffhanger. Because he's smothering you with a pillow. Shannon, can we clip that up and submit that to the agency please I think I did quite well there for a 10 year old I don't think you sounded enough like a 10 year old That's too young I've gone too young

My Roblox is gone No too young We might have to pass on this audition I think another gig will come your way soon Something more age appropriate Where are my children? I'm so exhausted. Oh God, being a mum

is so hard these days. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day. It's the final fact in Super Sense Week. And we are on to sight. Nice. We're celebrating sight today. With the best sight. The animal with the best sight.

This article I found has a few different categories. Oh, like bird, would it be like a hawk or something? The overall best vision in the animal kingdom belongs to the eagle, yeah, the bird of prey. Great eyesight there. They can see UV light.

They've got heightened sense of colour vision, near panoramic vision. Oh, wow. Very wide vision and almost like a zoom. They're basically an IMAX. They just look at an IMAX every day. Yeah. Yeah, cool.

They're like a Les Mills trip. Yeah. You know, with the 180 screen. So the human standard of perfect vision is 20-20. So one with 20-20 vision can see clearly at a distance of 20 feet. That's me. To put that into perspective, the eagle has a visual acuity of 25, meaning that it can see at 20 feet what the human with 20-20 vision

could see at 5 feet away. So technically they've got a little bit of an inner binocular situation. Wow. Yeah. Do they have a five-time zoom though? Kind of like a digital zoom. Yeah. Does it have a five-time zoom, though? Well, kind of like a digital zoom. That's fancy. My digital camera's got a five-time zoom.

Your Sony Cybershot is still fine. I saw somebody taking a photo the other day with a digital camera. I was like, retro. How bizarre. Not like a DSLR. No, no, no. Like an actual digital camera. Like a mum Sony Cybershot.

I like that. I like that a lot. So they're the best overall. They are the champion, the eagle. Best mammal vision goes to us, the humans. What? I know. Give it up, give it up.

Yeah. Let's go to humanity, who are at the moment on this sort of like very self-destructive path, but their vision, best in the mammal kingdom. Yeah, although not, let's not say everybody, because I have been driving with friends, and they're like, how can you see that?

Oh, mine's shocking. It's a sign. Aaron's is shocking. I think I've got to go to Specsavers. Yeah. Get yourself to Specsavers, hon. Yeah, get yourself to Specsavers. Or OPSM.

Or Bailey Nelson, or any of them. Whoever contacts the show now and offers me free things. Chuck a little picky on, I'll look sexy in some glasses, because I grew up wearing glasses Because I used to have glasses And then I got the laser vision And then that slowly faded Yeah right

And I said Can I get that done again And they said No you have to Scrape the top off the eye Get out Nope Put a pig's retina in there

No A pig's retina Lick their finger And seal it back up And then Give me some Savlon I will not be doing that I'm pretty sure that's what they said.

I don't think they did. You just can't get laser again. No. Because your eyes are too bummed. Yeah. So I might just go for glasses for like driving and stuff. Remember when you used to wear glasses? Well, I grew up wearing glasses so I always looked good in glasses. My face formed around glasses. I'm horrible to look at without glasses. I'm a pig of a man.

Horrible trout face. Oh my god, thank you. You being the one to bring that up. Yeah. You're a pig of a man. Horrible trout face. Oh, my God. Thank you. You being the one to bring that up. Yeah. You're a pig of a man. Little snouty, chubby, fat, fat. Oh. Fat little dirty face. Just oink, oink.

Yeah, it's real yuck to look at. And I apologise for bringing this absolute mudguard of a face into the work every day. Yeah. Thank you. Apology accepted. Yeah, drop pipe. Don't yuck your wife's yum. Punched bumhole.

Yeah, Sade's vision minty, punched bumhole. Sade's vision must be stuffed. Terrible. She's blind as a bat. And thank God for that. Well, she has to sleep next to this. Yeah, God. Pig face every night. Horrendous Picasso every night, you know.

Picasso. A bit of a Jackson Pollock. Yeah, a Pollock Picasso painted with shit. That's what this face is. And I know it. I'm not under any disbelief. It's pretty nice. I'm anything other than a negative two.

It's refreshing to have a little self-awareness in the studio. It is. It is. In this day of everybody, you know, saying, I'm beautiful deep down. I am not. I'm rotten to the core. Rotten to the core.

I am. What you see on the surface is what you get deep down to. Yeah. A pile of human feces. Yeah. And just horrendous to. Yeah. A pile of human feces. Yeah. And just horrendous to be around. Terrible person.

Ethically, very shady. Come on. It's not. Come on. I'm only doing this. Anyway, so we win.

So obviously, see the text machine. We win. Oh, no compliments. Oh, no. Nothing.

Oh, that's okay. Nothing. Wow. It's fine. So you did that whole thing so people would text in and say you're actually beautiful but they haven't. They haven't. Nothing. Oh, wow. That's okay. Nothing. Wow. It's fine. So you did that whole thing so people would text in and say you're actually beautiful, but they haven't. They haven't.

Nothing. Wow. Okay. So I am. I am the exact. You are exactly what you just said. Trash bag. Yeah, you are.

That I described myself to be. Okay. Well, this is a real moment of realization. Vaughn, I work at Specsavers Paraparaumu. Come see me. I'm not going all the way to Paraparaumu. I will hook you up, you beautiful man. Oh, you beautiful man.

Come, come, come. And then someone just texts now saying, I'll bang you. You'll be sadly disappointed. Separate calls. You'll be sadly disappointed. Yeah. Terrible love, mate. God, you're really propping yourself up today, aren't you?

Let's not even talk about that tiny little pathetic gift. No, no, no. So we're the best mammal for vision. Yep. And I'm sorry that your beautiful best vision has to rest upon this daily. Disgust me to even think about it. It's a punishing, punishing watch.

I've actually removed all the mirrors and reflective surfaces from my house. The other day, I went to turn on the TV and I stood too close and I caught myself in that mottled blackness of TV. I punched the television and smashed it and I shan't be replacing it. Owls have the best night vision. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

And we mentioned them for the hearing too. They've got really good hearing, eh? They've got great hearing. No ears. What a combo. Sharks have the best underwater vision. Oh, crazy. Chameleons have the broadest field of vision.

Karma chameleons or just normal chameleons? Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleons. Chameleons. Yeah. Butterflies have the best colour vision. I chameleons or just normal chameleons? Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleons. Chameleons. Yeah. Butterflies have the best colour vision. I sort of hate butterflies. They're very close to moths. The mantis shrimp has the most complex vision.

Mantis shrimp. That's that little one that like punches things and knocks them out. Would that be great on a barbie? Would it be good on a fried rice? Yes. Mantis shrimp fried rice? Yes. Mantis shrimp fried rice? Don't knock it till you've tried it. And eagles, the best eyes in the animal kingdom. Eagle-eyed.

So today's fact of the day, the winners for the best eyesight in the animal kingdom go to the bird of prey, the eagle. Fact of the day day, day, day, day. day. Modern Ailey. Clay. ZM. Lovely producer Jared was telling us about a situation and all of us went, it's a trap.

It's a trap. It's entrapment. It's a trap. It's a trap. We need to guide you through this little pup. What's happening? So the Middie and I have our three-year anniversary next week. Oh, congratulations.

Thank you. It's starting to get serious. Yeah. Yep. And she expressly said with a full tone of seriousness no presents this year. That's not what she means

my love. That's not what she means. Well we're in a cosy living cry. Of course we're in a cosy living cry. So I think due to the cosy living cry

and my birthday's coming up and then Christmas is coming up. It's a hectic few months for the It's a stress on the cosy. Yeah. So I think she actually

legit doesn't want to do presents this year. Oh no. Again. The horn. That's a hectic few months. It's a stress on the closet. Yeah, it is. So I think she actually legit doesn't want to do presents this year. Oh, no. Again, the horn, that's a trap. But I sniff out a trap. Jeez, that's a trap. So I'm getting her a little present, and I might write something a little cute. Yeah, this is it.

It's about the thought. It's about the thought. It's to show that you were thinking, and it doesn't need to be an extravagant gift, but it needs to be from the heart. Yes, me and Aaron do this. When we say no gifts, like write something nice, and that means so much.

And you'll normally make a seashell gift card, won't you? Yeah, or a pasta picture frame. Yeah, which is so lovely. Like a macaroni basic frame. Spray gold. And you come in and he's nibbling on it, and you're like, no. No. Decorative boy gold. Spray gold. And you come in and he's nibbling on it and you're like, no. No. Decorative boy.

Decorative pasta. The edible pasta's in the cupboard. So you've sniffed out a trap. Yep. When you say a little gift, what are we talking? A set of socks? A little spray thing. A little perfume.

Yeah, it's not quite a perfume. It's a... Like a potpourri, like a... Impulse, can of impulse. You know that bum bum spray? Oh yeah, so sol de... Yeah, that one. That's like a potpourri. Like a... Impulse. Can of impulse. You know that bum bum spray? Oh, yeah. So, Sol de Janeiro. Yeah, that one.

That's good. That's good. What? What's bum bum spray? Well, it's called bum bum spray, but you don't put it anywhere near your bum bum. It's not called bum bum. It's spelled bum bum, but it's not. How would one say bum bum?

It's a bum bum. Sol de Janeiro does aiser called bum bum cream and you put it on your bum and it's a good cream. Bum bum hair and body. Yeah, but it's a very famous scent and so there's like a packaging scent family so you can get it as a moisturiser or a body spray. He's done well.

He's actually done well. If I received a bum bum spray, I'd be stoked. It's going to be the pink one. It's not cheap though. Yeah, pink's good. I thought you were saying a little something. Oh, like the sampler version. Yeah, you can get little handbag ones.

You're just going to steal it from Kim's warehouse. But you need to follow that up with I think a little written something. Yeah, I was thinking your bum bum smells like this bum bum. Yeah, it is my pleasure to spend my life with my bum bum pushed up against your bum bum pushed up against your bum bum.

Smelling your bum bum. Smelling your bum bum. It's a pleasure to sniff your bum bum. I've never heard anything more romantic. Let me sniff them cheeks. Oh, no, okay, we've lost it now. Very creepy. You back it back.

Friday Jams coming up. We always know it's Friday Jams because the prank text. Because it's Friday. Well, the prank text comes through for Georgia. I read it genuinely, Ben. Someone wants a shout out. Their name's Muff and then you told me that was a joke. That got me.

Every Friday, the listeners, the dear listeners. They try to get one past her. They try to get like Seymour Butts. Yeah. But sometimes Georgia falls for it, don't you? You've fallen for it. I don't think this is a prank. I just think this is a nickname.

Georgia, I was wondering if you'd be able to shout out my best mate who's on the tools today for proposing to his new fiancée named Marcel Bartley, nickname Muff. Yeah. You think it's a prank, but that's just a silly nickname. Is it though? They get me sometimes. There's been some.

There's been some. Yeah, they get you, don't they? Marginal ones come through recently. Yeah, they really try. I'm talking racist and all sorts. Oh, God. They're really trying to get me. Like what?

Say it. Like what? Say it. That's not a fair. Say it. Oh, God. This is gender today. Gender.

Got you. Everybody, got you. Not today. Yeah, and this is the thing. This is why I've stopped giving in to them. Because I'm like, I don't know. You know what? They're going to ruin it for everybody. The small what? They're going to ruin it for everybody.

The small group, they're going to ruin it for everybody. Yeah, exactly. Well, keep your shout outs coming in for Friday Jams. Georgie will run a fine tooth comb over those. But yesterday, yeah, fine tooth comb. I think it's the final nail in the dagger's back. Knife in the coffin. She just said to me it was their last knife in the coffin.

You've just got to see what he mistakes. You're just making words up now. Yesterday, buddy. You never shoot their last knife in the coffin. You just got to see what he mistakes. You're just making words up now. Yesterday. You never shoot a rolling stone in the mouth. Yeah, never. Friday's live yesterday, you got to meet backstage Kelly Rowland. I did. And Jason Derulo.

Yeah, but like Kelly Rowland. No, well, because I. You've met him before. I've met him before. So it was a bit old news. Oh, I've met him before. I've met him before. So it was a bit old news. Oh, I've met him before. Darling, me and Jess can go way back now. I tell you what, though.

Kelly Rowland, she's like a picture. She was a highlight of Fridays for me. Like, she was the medley, the Destiny's Child medley, and she's 42. How insane does she look? It's almost like her abs are painted on. You know? Yeah, abs. Her abs, the bootay was popping.

Yep. I honestly didn't know if I could handle her bootalicious body. Yeah. You know, I wasn't ready for that jelly. It was way too bootalicious for you, eh? Yeah, what was she like? Oh, all I said was, hey. And that's what you get.

Literally, they just stand there and then they kind of go, hey. And you get a photo and then you get shuffled off. Yeah. But I stood there for a bit being like, staring right into her soul after I left. That's not pesty at all, is it? Oh! I tell you what, though.

I got a photo with Jojo and I think I put my hand, because she was wearing like these sequined pants. Yes, pants. And I think I misplaced my hands ever so slightly. I may have been a little too low because then she puts her hand there and I'm like, oh, shuffle up. Sorry. You sounded quite pesty.

You put a close-dealing situation on your hands there. Yeah, I don't know if you're getting invited backstage. She was also really good too, Jojo. She was amazing. What was the vibe backstage with the fans there? Excitement, Weird people screaming. I think I didn't get too much into the, what is it, boys to men, but there were people screaming for boys to men.

Well, they were bloody showmancing the whole crowd, handing out roses and doing their little smooth moves. Yeah, there were lots of, like, T-shirt signings and videos for kids and whatnot. For some reason, they were the highlight. But Jason Derulo, well, he kind of like, I think he took a shower afterwards. So he washed all the yuck off him.

Were you there for that? Yeah, I was actually. For the shower? He did the meet and greet in the shower. Females only. We've seen the photos, haven't we? Yeah, we have. That was us.

We had pre-drinks at Fletcher's. And I kept being like, have you guys seen Jason Derulo? Have you seen that picture of Jason Derulo? Everyone was like, no. And then I showed them, like, far out. Let's get to the concert. Friday Jam's next.

Have a great weekend. We'll catch you back tomorrow morning with our bottomless brunch show. And if you miss any of the podcasts or the show during the week, catch up. iHeartRadio, Spotify, wherever you podcast. We don't care as long as you're listening. Yeah. Jeez, that sounded desperate. We don't care as long as you're listening. Jeez, that sounded desperate. We don't care, just please.

Oh, please. We don't care, just please listen. Another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag. Are they back? No, no, still banned. They never left. That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that.

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