ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 17th September 2024

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

RIP Worlds Oldest Cat Top 6: Things we remember from the Pizza Hutt Buffets Police officer man on phone SLP - Do you stab of scoop penne pasta? QR Scam - Shannon's Mum What was stolen from a date? Shanon's Hack Young people are in love QLP: AI Travel What's your fav road in NZ? Fact of the day fire truck week Hayley Bag Sat at the airport Sibling break upSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things of Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show. Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

It's two minutes past six. Somebody, one of us, has only had an hour and a half sleep after going to a concert last night. Who is it? Who is it? We'll never tell. We'll never be able to tell, will we? No.

It's the one wearing sunglasses inside Hayley. It's bright. It's bright. Do you know what, though? Like, I was quite well behaved in terms of, you know, having drinky poos and stuff. It was just late. I went to this after party for Iron Maiden, and it was great. Like, I was quite well behaved in terms of, you know, having drinky poos and stuff. It was just late.

I went to this after party for Iron Maiden, and it was great. Just played great music. Good morning to our Iron Maiden listeners, by the way. They've earned themselves a sleep in. Yeah, well, good for them. But some concerts, I'm like, I'm safe, you know. I can just fly under the radar. A lot of ZM listeners at an Iron Maiden

concert. Amazing. Surprising to me. Would never have thought. Surprising to me. Nah, great concert. Great stuff. Love to see the old guys still going. Well, do we have a big announcement for you at 8 o'clock? I don't know, you tell us, do we? Well, yeah, we do. Okay. Well, you just sort of ask

the listener. You know about this, Hayley, you know it's huge. You sort of asked the listener. Do we? Huge. It's huge. Donald Trump is coming. It's not. No.

Donald Trump is coming and we're so excited. Make sure you're listening after the news at 8 o'clock for this huge announcement. The top six is soon. Yes. It was announced yesterday and immediately sold out. Yeah. Pizza Hut to celebrate 50 years of the

all you can just 50 years? Yeah, I think just 50 years. They're bringing back the all you can eat buffet for one week in one location. For the mousse and jelly.

Some childhood memories there. Yes. For a lot of us. One of the top six things we remember about the Pizza Hut buffets. Next on the show though our sad day.

Thank God I'm wearing glasses because I will cry about this. Sad announcement to make. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. You know, I don't want to die. I'm so afraid of dying. I've been afraid of dying since,

and I live life like I'm not afraid of dying. You do. But I hate the idea of dying. But we're all going to, like that's a certainty in life. It is. It's a certainty. You You don't know this. It is. It's a certainty. You actually don't know this because we are part of the future.

And I think by the time it comes time for me to die, they'll have figured something out. See, we lost another Jackson overnight. Did we? Tito. Oh, yeah. Okay. So what is it now?

Jackson? Two? Three. Okay. Janet? She was never in the Jackson Five. No, she was never in the Jackson Five. Randy. Wrong Jackson. There was a Randy. Okay. Janet. She was never in the Jackson 5. No, she was never in the Jackson 5. Randy.

Wrong Jackson. There was a Randy. Peter. But it wasn't Peter Jackson. Yes, he's joined the Jackson 5. Janet, Randy and Peter are still with us. That's the Jackson 3. He's made many great movies.

Oh my God, so many. Samuel Howell is going to step up. We thought Michael Jackson had pale skin for someone of African-American descent, but Peter Jackson was really pale. The palest. I'm talking about living life long because a cat has died

at the human equivalent age of 152, which to me feels about right. What is, how do you work out cat to human age? We used to go like seven. Yeah. We used to say seven, but it changes as time goes on. There's a diagram of the vets. There is a diagram of the vets.

So it's like the first year of a cat's life is equivalent of seven human years. And then as the years carry on for the cat, it becomes the equivalent of less and less and less. Right. Okay. So it's not like every single year after that is another seven. So this cat that died... 33 years old.

Jeez Louise. In linear time. Do they know for sure? Like, are there official records of this cat? Yeah, because our cat doesn't have a record of when he was properly born. We just picked a birth date based on how old they told us when we got him.

So are we taking somebody's word at this? Born in 1995. Jeez. That's not 33 years ago. That's 10 years ago. Born, it's 33 years ago. Born in 1991.

I was going to say, that would be 29. Sorry, 1995 is now the current oldest cat. Oh, right, okay. 1991. Yeah, that's right because I'm 35 soon, which is now the current oldest cat. Oh, right, okay. 1991. Yeah, that's right, because I'm 35 soon, which is fine. Which is fine.

And I was born in 89. So this cat was born in 1991. Rosie, fluffy tortoise shell, old little cat, passed away. So that's why you get a rescue cat like mine. They last forever. No, yours will last a couple more weeks, honestly. Excuse me, Hayley. No, I don't curse.

But, you know, purebred cats don't last as long. No, they don't. They don't. You need a bastard. You need a moggy little mongrel. Yeah. So this is what this cat was. A tortoiseshell,ed away 33 years old

Were they Were they doing like Things to prolong its life Because Some people What kind of quality of life Was it having Was it like dragging itself around

Like drip shit Was just dribbling out That would have been A dribbly cat The cat looked like shit I would say at the end It was matted Oh

Miserable Glazed Not as bad as I thought Like if you said to me How old's that cat I'd be like I don't know 15 yeah 15

looks like an old cat for sure 32 like 33 sorry that's like that's my entire life that's insane and I've lived a long time

yeah passed away due to this may surprise you old age complications with old age yep with its 73 year old

owner by its side which means if you think about it, you guys are in your 40s. Imagine buying a cat now, and when you're in your 70s, that cat's still being around. Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, it's very sad.

Oh, yeah, there's another photo, I'll say cataract up to the wazoo. Oh, the grey eyes. Foggy grey eyes. But other than that He looks sweet Long head He'd love to eat John West's salmon

In a tin Wow Oh wait That's human salmon Yeah that's the good oil That's the good stuff Okay No wonder it was living so long

Yeah fancy We just go strictly dry Fletch and I Yeah Had a great memory You slop a bit of wet slop Into a bowl for your cats. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

They love their Jimbo's. Willing to accept Jimbo's. Willing to accept. Okay. I'll just say that name again in case they hear it and want to send me some. Jimbo's.

Jimbo's. Yeah, good posh. Good containers, I'll say that much. Great containers. The containers can be reused. Yeah, I know. I get pissed off

when I find out a Jimbo's container has been put in the recycling bin. It's perfect for screws and nails. Oh, perfect for a screw and nails. And a stack. Yeah. Remember we knew someone that used to

eat their lunch out of a Jimbo's container. That's too far. That's too far on a cat food reuse. It's just weird. Do you know this cat, this lovely little cat

had a second chance at life. So it was going to be, it got adopted in the very early 90s as a kitten and then needed rehoming because the family that adopted it realised that their daughter was highly allergic to cats. So I would have got rid of the daughter. Same.

You're not allowed to do that. Heartbeat. It's harder to rehome a child. No, you take them to the SPCA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a collar, draw some whiskers on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, meow, meow, meow. Meow a collar. Draw some whiskers on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, meow, meow.

Meow. Meow for them. Go on. You give them your meow. Meow. There you go. I need to rehome this cat, please. And then problem solved.

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. And at what time did you go? Three o'clock this morning for your nuggies? I did. I did go to McDonald's at 3am this morning. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Actually,

how dare you call me out on that behaviour that I had at McDonald's three hours ago. It was so good. Is it even, is it 24 hours?

Yeah. Seven hours a week. The one in Auckland. I did double chicken. McChicken and nuggets. Seven days a week. The one in Auckland. I did double chicken. McChicken and McNuggets. Ah. Hotline. Coke Zero.

And if you've just joined us, she's had an hour and a half sleep. Stay tuned for around 8.30 when it all goes pear-shaped. Did I go eerily quiet? Back to you, Vaughan, in the studio. Thank you. Thank you. Hayley, also in the studio. Thank you. Thank you. Hayley, also in the studio. Hayley in the studio.

Vaughan in the studio. Fletch in the studio. We're all here, actually. We're all in the studio. Miraculously. Well, they announced it, that it's coming back to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Hut of Pizzas.

Yep. The all-you-can-eat buffet. Now, we went to one of the final all-you-can-eat buffets before it was torn down in Newland and Auckland. Do you remember years ago? Yes, I did. Yeah. Sort of a last supper of sorts.

Wasn't as good as childhood memories, I'll tell you that. That's one of the reasons why it doesn't exist. It's not torn down, that one. Isn't it turned into something else? And, you know, oh, no, I'm thinking of in Wellington. You know where you can, like, still see the roofs? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can still famously see pizza huts everywhere

because of the architectural design of the pizza hut. Second to none. Second to none. Second to none. Yeah. It was a hut. It was a hut. It was a hut. You always see them as like car places

and you're like, you're not fooling anyone, pizza hut. I see you. I see what you mean. I know what you were. Nudge, nudge, pizza hut. Yeah. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, pizza hut.

Well, these are the top six things we all remember about the pizza hut all you can eat. So it's coming back. From some millennials to some people that never experienced it. And it's coming back as like a... It's just a one-off, basically.

It's a pop-up. And it's already sold out. It sold out so quick. Number six on the list of the top six things we all remember about the Pizza Hut All You Can Eat. Moose. Not touching the salad bar. Oh, yeah. Nobody had the salad.

Do you remember it had a pasta salad? No, I went straight to pod. No, I know. Do you remember it had a pasta salad? No, I went straight to pud. No, I know. Do you remember it had a pasta salad? Yes, it was. Spiral. Spiral. Yeah, trash.

Weak, trash, spiral. And it was oily. It was like its dressing was oil. Yeah, yeah. Nobody was touching that. Mums might have got a little bit in a bowl. Because it's healthy. They were in their minds.

They were of the opinion that that oil-covered starchy beige carbohydrate was somehow better for you than pizza. I remember having quite a violent time out at an all-you-can-eat pizza hut for a toilet stop to make some room. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's classic. Number five on the list of the top

six things we all remember about the pizza at all-you-can-eat. Asking when the next meat lovers or chicken pizza was coming out because you didn't want to fill up on the shit ones. Just that, yeah. The cheese.

The cheese pizza. Yeah, I didn't come here. My parents didn't pay their hard-earned cash for their son to come here and eat nothing but cheese pizza.

Let's get some meat on there. Let's get some ham on this thing. Yeah, we got any, I'll even settle for a Hawaiian at this stage. Yeah, I'm delicious... I'll even settle for a Hawaiian at this stage. Yeah, I'm delicious. I know.

We talked about this the other day, didn't we? Us Hawaiian lovers are slowly... We're quite like a bit of... We're slowly coming out of the cave. Yep. Slowly coming out of the cave. Number four on the list of the top six things we'll remember about pizza at all you can eat.

Moose. Moose. It's got to be moose. Moose and jelly. But no cigar. Making the tallest soft serves ever. Yes. On the soft serve machine.

Because that was the first time as a child that you're a teenager or whatever that you had control of something that you only ever saw someone else use. I think it's maybe even the only time I've ever had control of a soft serve machine. Yeah, I don't think I've ever soft served. Kiwi-Os and stuff like that. Yeah, but that was frozen yogurt. It didn't have the structural integrity of a good soft serve.

Yeah. And you would get that cone in there, crank it, and hold the cone hard so it would really compact. Yes. You'd make those things a couple of foot tall

and then just walk out. As wide as they are tall. Walk out of the restaurant and be like, that's right. All you can eat. Watch me. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six. It's got to be Moose. Things we all remember about the Pizza Hut. All you can eat. God, I love that Moose. No sneeze guards. Oh, yeah. No sneeze guards.

No sneeze guards. No sneeze guards. And you've got kids at that height where they're like leaning over and being like, I don't want that one. Fingering everything. Oh, yuck. Getting a finger in that. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Go back up. Finger it around a bit more. They're fingering the Moose, aren't they. Oh, yuck. Getting a finger in that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, go back up. Fingering around a bit more. They're fingering the loose, aren't they? Oh, yeah, yuck. Sneeze guards now. God, I love a buffet. God, I love a buffet.

Yeah. God, I love a sneeze guard. Number two on the list of the top six things. I thought we were going to lose buffets after COVID. I was like, they're not coming back.

No, they're back. They're back. They're back. I think I'm doing a Marbles next weekend for Mum's birthday. Oh. I think we're doing a Marbles in New Plymouth. Lovely. Yeah, they're not coming back. No, they're back. They're back. I think I'm doing a Marbles next weekend for Mum's birthday. I think we're doing a Marbles in New Plymouth. Lovely. I think only because she gets an over 65 discount

now, her and Dad. Do they? Yeah, so she's taking us somewhere that they get a cheaper dinner. But we're full price. You and your bruv. Well, that's not fair. Unless it's your birthday. It's not my birthday. We could make it look like it was.

Have you got a fake ID? On the morning of you going down, happy bit, we'll just do a bit of that. We'll just do a bit of that. I don't know if they do a birthday discount,

to be honest. I don't know. Anyway, okay. Number two on the list of the top six things we all remember about the pizza at All You Can Eat.

Moose. Moose. It's got to be Moose. It's got to be Moose. Having a huge fat vomit pretty soon after leaving. Yeah. Like the car ride home.

Because we, the Pizza Hut was in Hamilton East. I can still picture it. I think it's a car yard. A Hamilton East Pizza Hut. All you can eat. Then it was always after sport or something. So you'd go in, you'd be stinky as, you'd be running around, you'd be hungry. You'd just have a competition because you're a teenage boy. How many pizzas can you eat? How many pizzas can you eat? They must have been like. Then of course you've got to have your pud, you've got stinky as, you'd be running around, you'd be hungry, you'd just have a competition because you're a teenage boy.

How many pieces can you eat? Then of course you've got to have your pud, you've got to have your massive sauce serve, and then the roads home were curvy and you'd say to mum, I've done it again. No wonder they bloody shut up these places when the smiths kept coming. Most of the time we got out of the car park though, there was always a kid that after a

birthday party or an end of sports feast, would have a vom straight or an end of sports feast would have a vom straight down the side of the pizza. Disgusting. And number one on the list of the top six things we all remember about Pizza Hut all you can eat? Moose. It's the moose. Yes!

What was that? Magic moose. Magic moose and then green jelly. The green jelly that came in like little squares. Yeah, little squares. Squared jelly. Yeah, it's mo Squared jelly. Yeah. But the mousse was, it was like an instant pudding. But better. But it was richer chocolate and made with fluff.

It wasn't quite traditional mousse. Yeah. And it wasn't instant pudding. Mousse. I mean, it was somewhere in the demilitarized zone between North pudding and South pudding. It's probably 80% sugar as well. Yeah, I was going to say it's not real food. It was delicious.

But it was light, and so your mum was convinced it was probably better for her. Mousse, green jelly, and sprinkles. That would be a good top six. Top six things your mum thought was healthy in the 80s and 90s. I think it's a toxic mousse. Do it tomorrow. Okay, write it down. I'm working on it.

Margarine. Margarine's number one. Margarine's number one. Marjorie's number one. Yeah. Without a shadow of a doubt. That is today's top six. Play. ZM.

Fletchvorn and Hayley. A article from the spinoff tells the story about a person driving on the very same northwestern motorway that Hayley and I take to work every day. Love it. It's my preferred motorway when it comes to Auckland City. It's better than the Southern Motorway as a dump. Southern Motorway as a tip. It's a dumpster fire.

They have finished one part of the roadworks that I saw. The bit where you go past the Karaka sail yards, the horse place. That's Hamilton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just work. Yeah, yeah. Do you guys have a favourite part of road anywhere in New Zealand?

Yes. Yes. There's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you guys have a favourite part of road anywhere in New Zealand? Yes. Yes. There's a part of State Highway 1. Now, before they put in the Huntley Bypass, just north of Huntley, and it's real smooth. It's where the bed place is built in the village. Oh, yeah.

And they use the smooth roads. Yeah, they use the asphalt. It's past the old tannery. So if you're driving down there, you just go past the Rangariri, and you come around the corner, and there's a long straight, and there's a. It's past the old tannery. So if you're driving down there, you just go past Rangariri, and you come around the corner, and there's a long straight, and there's a house moving company on the left, and you keep going, and then the tannery's on the right,

and then there's always some silage bales and purple wrap with some faces on them. Then there's where they're building a sleepyhead village, and then you hit it, and it's just a... Mines, there's a certain corner on the desert road when you're on State Highway 1. There's a certain corner and you go around and it's a really

steep curve. I know that, yes. And there's a bit of graffiti on the barricade and then you come out and then it's like a tree lined little bit. Wait, look, this is a great phone and topic. Your favourite stretch of road in New Zealand. Because I thought you would have gone the Viaduct in

what's the pass? Arthur's Pass. I've driven it once. It was beautiful. It was amazing. But you've got to choose the ones that you know and you're there all the time. You don't get a sweet thrill. Love that. I don't get that sweet thrill. That would be a great phone and topic. Not now though.

Well, we could do it after eight because we did that. Yeah, okay, great. Yeah, let's do that. Change the plan. We did this. Love that. Are we working on the fly here? Are we doing a vibe show?

That's crazy. We're just vibing things. We're big mouthpieces for the right here. We love roads. We love roads. We don't love money spent on roads. I want $33 billion spent on roads. We need the best roads.

We're going to have roads. No one's got roads like us. All right. After 8, your favourite stretch of road in New Zealand. Well, this man is driving along this stretch of road, State Highway 16, city bound, and he admitted to interacting with his dash-mounted phone. Dash-mounted?

Dash-mounted phone to check navigation on a recent journey. Okay. He's on state highway 16. Bullshit. He knows where he's going. Navigation. Keep driving straight. Yeah, yeah.

Just keep following this road that you're on that leads to everywhere. And then he saw a highway patrol car on the side of the road. 30 seconds later, his phone rings. Unknown number. Answers it. Hello, it's the police here. Get off your phone. They say, what are. Get off your phone.

They said, what are you doing on your phone? He said, well, I'm talking to you, aren't I? Genius. Got you. So the driver said he was still travelling at more than 80 kilometres an hour. Answered the phone. He said, it was kind of like I answered the phone. You're allowed to answer a phone, right?

You're not allowed to be on the phone, be interacting with the phone. I don't know. I mean, mine's in a – it's in the dash. If it's in a holder, you can answer it, right? Yeah, yeah, answer it. Yeah, yeah, totally. I've got a little microphone. Oh, must be nice. I've got a little microphone in my car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's lovely. Most cars don't act like you're driving a Rolls Royce or anything. It's a 2013 Mazda XLR. Yeah, most cars have built-in microphones and Bluetooth you'll find. It's got a little microphone in it. I think you'll find. It's not the 90s. I think you'll find.

I've got Apple CarPlay. Do you listen to your CD player by plugging into it a fake tape on a cord that goes into your... It's a tape with a little auxiliary cord traveling from it, and it means I can listen to my iPod. Oh, your iPod, not even a CD player with anti-shock technology. You've got the latest technology there. Yeah, it's lovely. She knows what's what. I've read this.

Verifies the driver. Yeah. Verifies the driver, says, is this your number plate and is that your home address? And the driver said yes. And I did use my phone, but it was in line of sight where it was on my dash. $150 fine arrived in the mail a few days later. What's him? He got a fine?

Yeah. $150. $150. What are the rules? Because it's so like blurry now with all the iPads. But everyone's got the monitors and stuff in their thing. Apple Play.

Apple CarPlay. A lot of the EVs, like our friend Mike's car. Oh my God, it's like a full movie screen. Yeah, it's insane. But like how much are you allowed to interact with that?

Because mine's like touch and all this. We're allowed to. In my 2013 Mazda Xceler. With a microphone. With a microphone. It's got a touch screen. A touch screen. Darling, darling. It's got a touch screen. Really? I just cannot believe I have a friend that has a touch screen in their

car. I know, darling. Does it have cruise control? I don't know. I think it does. I don't know how to use it. So I like to keep my foot on the accelerator. It's a mod con there. It's a mod con. But, like, you know, you can touch it and, like, you touch it to do music and stuff.

Yeah. Are you allowed to do that? I think so. But not this? Yeah. I don't think you're allowed to change from ZM if you're listening to ZM. Oh, legally you're not allowed. Legally, once it's on your car, you're not allowed to change. OtherwiseM if you're listening to ZM. Oh, legally you're not allowed. Legally once that's on.

That's a huge fine. You're not allowed to change. Otherwise, it's $150. $150,000. Yeah. I believe. It's a huge fine. It's a huge fine.

That's actually a great way to keep the media afloat. Yeah. Fine people $150 million. For changing stations. That's a great idea. Love it. That's genius. Put it in the kitchen.

Wait, so how did he get his number? He ran the plates. He ran the plate, sees the owner, calls him, the owner is driving, answers his phone, confirms that it's him, reads back his number plate, confirms his home address, and then just tickets him. Is that an abuse of...

No, dude, that's smart policing. I thought it was quite smart. I thought it was quite smart and genius. You're not allowed to look up plates just for Willie and or Nellie. He was breaking the law. And he admitted to being on his phone. I'm sure he wasn't on his dashboard iPad. No, darling, no, no, no.

Because mine's like a small iPad up the front. And it's got your microphone. Attached to it. It's a small microphone. Today's Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole Today's Silly Little Pole, it's about penne pasta. Yeah, we fought hard for this. The long, chubby pasta. Well, you know us, we like to stay sort of politically neutral.

Yes. But we finally wanted to come out and discuss this hot topic of penne pasta. I don't like, I'm not a huge pasta guy, and penne's got to be one of my least favourites. Oh, penne's trash. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, it's because sometimes there's stuff in the tube, and then when you put it in your mouth and the stuff squirts out of the tube,

you're like... Oh, yeah. Because it's always, like, creamy and cheesy. If I'm pastoring, I'm pappardellying. Big, thick ribbons. Okay. Pappardelli. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thick ribbons, Dally Oh yeah yeah yeah It's like super spaghetti

Well I'm a simple man What a baby Oh you know I don't know I still can't cook pasta What do you mean? You put it in a hot pot of water I can't get it right

I either take it out and it's still a bit ngang-ngang, or I leave it too long and it gets a bit blip-blip. I can never nail it. It's weird. Well, when you asked you, how do you eat penne pasta, do you stab it? Like, say you were getting a couple of tubes. Do you stab it right in the middle?

Or do you scoop it by putting the prongs of the fork into the tubes? Like a forklift lifting up some pipes. Yeah. Stab. Wow. Stab smoked it. 90%.

Who's got time to scoop through the holes? No one. That's madness. Madness. There's better things to be doing with your time. Let's see what the people say. Owen says, wow, at first glance, I did not read that as penne pasta. Now let me check what he means. I don't know.

How do you eat? I mean, he's got penis on the mind, I think. Sounds like he's got penis on the mind. I use a fork to scoop it into a spoon. Penis on the mind. It could mean penis in another language. You don't know he could be Croatian or something.

Actually, good morning to our Croatian listeners. A huge ugin splugan to our Croatian listeners. Don't believe that's... Ugin splugan? I don't believe that's Croatian. Is that not Croatian for good morning? It's Italian. Penne, penis. Is that why it's called penne pasta?

Is that why it's called penne pasta? Because it looks like a dick. And cylindrical. Penis. Penne. Oh, no. But penne has two Ns. Two Ns.

Penne pasta. Yeah, put two Ns in. Penne pasta. Oh, my God. Do you not know how to spell penne pasta? No. I don't know how to spell it. Oh, my God.

P-E-N-N-E. Whereas penne means penis. It's two. Okay. El penne. Show me. El penne. Oogin schmoogin.

No. Don't be stabbing that or scooping it. No. Don't be stabbing scooping. Gently handle the penis. That's right. Unless instructed otherwise. I use a fork to scoop it onto a spoon.

No idea why. It's just the way I like it, says Sarah. Sarah? Absolutely. That's up to you. No, she's creating too many dishes. Few things bring me such childlike joy as getting a scoopy fork of pasta

on all the prongs of a fork. Yes. From Emily. Danielle Crichton. I don't know if she's related to Jurassic Park author Michael Crichton. Could be.

Could be. We'll check that. She just says fork prong in the hole. That's all she says. People are not taking this seriously enough. Fork prong in the hole.

What? Says Ellie. I'm shook at the results. They're literally designed to be threaded onto the fork. Surely. Out of confusion. Yeah. Mason, stab it. Stab it like to be threaded onto the fork. Surely. Out of confusion. Yeah.

Mason, stab it. Stab it like it owes you money past due. Yeah. Goodness me. Okay. Someone owes Mason some money, I think. Yeah. Kate, scoops fall.

That's what she says. Scoops fall. Okay. Dobrodosli. Someone messaged in. Dobrodosli. That's a Croatian hello welcome. Ubin Sklubin was pretty close.

It wasn't even. It's not. Again, apologies to our Croatian listeners this morning. Ubin Sklubin, welcome to Drewbrook. No. We really apologise. Stab and then suck the sauce off, says Lucille. Suck the sauce off?

Suck the sauce off. Stab it. And then you're eating plain pasta and that's gross. Courtney, when I start getting full or bored. Penis is just Croatian. Is that right? Penis is penis in Croatian. In Croatian, penis translates penis.

Well, I put English to Croatian and it says penis. Yeah. Penis to penis. I don't know. That's how I like to go in Croatia. Penis to penis. I don't know. That's how I like to go in Croatia. Penis to penis uggen splugan. We're in Croatia, as they say.

We'll be uggen splugan. This is, by the way, out of control now. What to blame is we've recorded a podcast during the show and it's put us in a silly podcast only, not for broadcast mood. It has. We're going to get ourselves in trouble. We're going to get ourselves in trouble. We're going to get ourselves in trouble.

I'm blaming the fact that Hayley's had an hour and a half sleep. Well, I've lost my mind. Yeah. And something rewired in my brain overnight. I'm not sure what it is

or if I like it or not yet, but it feels different. I've had a brain rewiring. When I start getting full or bored and then maybe I'll scoop to slow down, other than that,

you've got to be an adult and stab that penny. Scooping is classier and makes less mess and it's going in your mouth in the same direction as the fork and it holds more sauce. Geordie.

Geordie, that is... Geordie has really put a lot of effort into that message. Really too much thought. A lot of thought into eating your penne pasta. That's a little pop. Play.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Producer Shannon has fallen for, let's say, many a scam. How many? Well, I've gotten close to being cleared out a few times, but I've properly been under deep once.

Yeah, not even joking. You fell for the toll road tech scam. Toll road? Have you fallen for the when you receive a package? Yeah. Customs? So I always stop now and talk to my partner because he literally did a TV show about falling for scams. Yeah. So it's pretty embarrassing.

But I haven't fallen for one recently. We're proud of you, Han. Good. We're proud of you. But you received a message from your lovely mother, Beverly. Yes. What was the message? She said, I know you're careful about scams,

yet it felt right to share this with you. Kiss. Do you know what? Better safe than sorry, I reckon. Also, how much is this? It's mixed up. It's the other way. It should be the other way around.

You should be helping your parents say, hey, watch out for these scams. I know, but she's better than I am. And I work in social media for a job. Don't say this because we do these online courses through work, right? You have to do them. I'm a little bit behind

actually. I need to catch up. But you have to do them as like cyber security things. They sent an email the other day that was so obviously a test. I've fallen for one of those, not the most recent, because Carwin emailed me before I got to it saying don't fall for it. Carwin, you cannot, what's the word, mollycoddle her. But every time that there is a phishing scam at work now, I go, hey, Bogsy doesn't actually want to send you a gift voucher.

No, the one the other day was quite clever, though. It was, yeah. It was like, you've got to something or other. Click this link to... Oh, yeah, the login has been changed for the thing that we use. Yeah. I don't even see it.

That's because you just delete emails. What was this one? It was like, your login has been something or other. Click this link to reset. And I was like, I smell a scan. It's like a text machine or something. This scan that your mum told you to watch out for is actually something the police have been posting about,

the New Zealand police have been posting about for the last few days. And it is a scan that's going around and it is tricking people. So basically they send you mail, like physical mail, and in it they're like, you have a present, scan this QR code to get the rest of the information. And they're using like legit places, eh?

Yeah. Or legit stuff. And so you just think that you've got a gift. I love gifts. And so then you scan the code. And then how do they get your info from the QR code? You fill out stuff, I guess. It just says once you do the QR code, it gives them access and stuff. So it must be like a sneaky QR code. A sneaky QR code, you fill out stuff, I guess. Yeah, it just says once you do the QR code, it gives them access and stuff.

So it must be like a sneaky QR code. A sneaky QR code. One of those sneaky QR codes. Yeah, that's my understanding. I wouldn't have thought a QR code gives everyone access to your phone. Of course it's sneaky because if you think about the alphabetical order, Q-R-S. Yeah, QR code.

The next logical letter is S and S stands for sneaky. Yeah, QR sneaky sneaky. The next logical letter is S, and S stands for sneaky. Yeah. Yeah, QR sneaky. What's next? T. T. Tricky. Sneaky tricky.

Sneaky tricky. Sneaky tricky. Unicorns. What does QR stand for in QR code? Question. Question. Question. What does...

Quiz Rizzler. QR stands for... What does Quiz Rizzler? It stands for Quick response code Oh Yeah Duh Who knew

You dumb idiot Yeah well there you go So if you get a gift Yeah Keep the gift But don't scan the code Luckily I don't get mail So

You don't get mail Well I don't have an address Like You do Oh my god you do No but like They don't have like A postal address

I just sent myself A call and now You do Everyone has a postal address You No but like I don't have like A postal address I just send myself A call and now You do Everyone has a postal address You live in an apartment You'll be a part That number whatever Yeah but I can't get mail

Like Oh my god Yes you'll have You'll have A little mailbox downstairs God everyone wants to be You know Oh

Poor me I don't have mail You do It's not poor me. I just like can't get packages and stuff. You can't get packages. Fletch lives in an apartment. He gets packages.

You literally can get packages. I thought I couldn't. I just can't seem to have. Did your boyfriend tell you this so you don't online shop? Is this why he told you? No, I sent it to Carwin. Oh my God, that is so smart. That is so smart.

He told you that you can't get... Why don't magician mentalist you into thinking that you don't have an address so that you don't online shop? This is genius from him. You should just read the dictionary and read every word out loud because one of those words

will release you from his spell. I've got a Sheila on my hands here I'd like to tell you about. Okay. Now, she's gone on a first date, and I believe that she's in a lot of trouble after she had a casual hookup with someone. I'd say yes, because the TikToks have now been deleted.

Yeah, I went to go open the video, and it was like, removed. And I was like, this feels like it's pending legal action. This happened overseas, but we just literally heard Brennan in the news saying that the government's looking to crack down at those that share crimes online. Oh. It does blow my mind when people put so much stuff online.

People used to live stream ram raids. You're like, what are you doing? It's like you're literally giving the court the evidence they need. I can see you. Yeah. What are you doing? Very glad there wasn't anything when we were teenagers. We weren't doing ram raids

or anything, but we were up to shenanigans. We were up to some shenanigans and there were no phones. No. Well, there were phones, but they were like You could play Snake on them and that was about it. No GPS tracking. Yeah, yeah. Very blurry photos by the time I was sort of in my mid-teens.

Anyway, this woman, she's gone on dates and this particular incident, she went on a casual date and went to this person's house and stole a pair of shoes, an Xbox and some food, which I think is really funny. The food. She's hungry.

Documents the entire thing. Documents the entire thing, which has now since been deleted. Yeah. But now she's being charged because obviously you're like, we can see you. You've clearly stolen this. You can't deny it.

There's a video you took of you doing this. You wouldn't expect if you hooked up with someone that they're going to steal your Xbox or stuff from your house. I mean, I guess it does happen. I hooked up with someone once and they stole my iPod. It was a 120 gig iPod too. And I was like, really? You know those big silver ones that used to like whir?

Yeah. Did you not track them down? Do you not know? I'll just say I didn't have all the information of where to find them again. Okay, that's fair enough. And I'm so gutted because it had an incredible playlist on it. It wasn't backed up on iTunes?

No, it wasn't backed up on iTunes. Oh, no. This is surprising to me because I thought in your young and free days, you still ran a very strict identification process on any potential hookups. I let it slip on this one night. Did you? Yeah. Scan their passport.

I let it slip at the door. How long are you going to be here for? What's the purpose of your visit? Exactly. Can I have something as a bond? Yeah. And I would give it back at the end of the night to make sure I had all my stuff and then it was fine. People do this

so sometimes they do take a souvenir. Oh, I know. A little souvenir. A little souvenir of the night. It's like, really? Excuse me? Take a lock of my hair, not my iPod with an incredible I cannot tell you, incredible playlist that had everything on it. It was a real mixture of genres. Yeah, and you never got it back.

Had like songs from like ads, you know, you'd listen to an ad and be like, I love that song. Bit of Regina Spector and then some sort of, you know, like some real odd stuff. That song from that Sony ad with the balls bouncing down the hill.

What was that? Something Gonzalez? Heartbreak? Heartbeat? Something like that. Yeah, you know that song. That kind of stuff. That song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a playlist I'll never get back. Found it. I'm a plug-in. Plug-in, Vaughn, plug-in. Plug-in, please. Plug-in. Yeah, that song.

This was on the playlist. You're never getting this iPod back, by the way. It's gone. 200 songs. Just give it a realistic, you know, to your iPod. You need this, but also in the background you need this. Yeah. Always whirring. Always whirring

Always whirring Yeah Yeah so I think That's the only time That I've had someone Steal something from a date Anyway I want to know Because I reckon

This happens all the time Also I'd say Classic New Zealand Of course this happens Yeah What was stolen on a date? Like did someone Come over to your house

Or maybe Did they take What did they take? A souvenir. I mean, and I will personally, and we are not endorsers of crime here.

Everything in moderation to those that celebrate. But, maybe you've stolen something on a date. Is there something you wish you'd stolen? Because I know.

Was there a house once and there was a Garfield phone? One of those ones with Garfields asleep. Well, you could get those from Mr. Thank You. No, yeah, Mr. Thank and there was a Garfield phone One of those ones with Garfields asleep Well you could get those from Mr. Thank You Yeah, Mr. Thank You When the Garfields are asleep

and you lift up the receiver and his eyes open I know my friend had one of those growing up That's so cool My friend Kelly had a hamburger phone Yeah, yeah, yeah

Jess had a hamburger phone Yeah Didn't they have phones as well that were lips? Yeah, yeah, yeah The lips phone Good stuff. Mr. Thank you.

Okay, well, 0800DARLS.M We want to take your calls. Has this ever happened to you? You can text 966. Was something stolen on a date or a casual hookup? Or if you want to call anonymously, did you steal something? We want to know what was stolen on a date

or a casual hookup. Or we'll also accept calls and messages of if you've stolen something. Yeah, Klepto's are welcome on the show. Klepto's are welcome, judgment free. We're not here to, you know, charge you or anything. Anonymous has called. Anonymous, somebody stole something from your place.

Yes. So I woke up in the morning after having someone over after a night out, was it? Yeah. And I noticed when I looked like in the morning after having someone over after a night out, wasn't it? Yeah. And I noticed when I looked to where I've got some frames and stuff on my bedside table, and one of my graduation photos was gone. Are you hot, Anonymous?

He must have thought so. He's like, man, I don't want to forget this one. What colour did you graduate in? When you graduated, you know how the inside of your hood's a different colour? That might be it. Purple. Not a Hogwarts house. Because he might have had a Harry Potter thing going on.

If it was red or yellow, he might have had a Hermione Granger vibe. Green Slytherin. Yeah. What an odd thing to steal. Especially when, like, did he know your Instagram or anything or any of your socials? Do we not exchange names?

It was back before you said that. Yeah, right. So he was like, old school. Yeah, a little token. I want to remember this woman. Well, good for you, actually. I'd be flattered. Yeah, did you ever see him again, though? To be like, hey, why'd you steal a photo of me? Maybe

like once briefly, but probably just pretended I didn't see him. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Amazing. Anonymous, thank you. Incredible. Some texts in. This is so embarrassing, that top one. He stole my dressing gown to Uber Home In. Wait, but where did his clothes go?

He must have looked like a right loser in me silks. I don't know. That's a good question. Where did his clothes go? Where did his clothes go? Did they get wet or something? Sometimes in the ruckus. You never know.

Probably somewhere on the ceiling fan and some under the bed. He just needed to get out of there. I stole his virginity and his heart. We've been married two years as of yesterday. Oh, my God. He's never had another. A good Christian story there. That's a beautiful Christian story.

That's a beautiful Christian bedtime story. Shop around. Yeah, what? Find the best deal. She might have. She might have. He doesn't know what else is out there, though. True.

Let's keep it that way. Do what I'm wondering. My TV remote got taken one night after a date. Oh no, that's annoying. With a Snapchat received in the morning saying, ha ha, you have to see me again with a picture of said remote. Oh, what a pest. Okay, that's kind of cute.

That's kind of funny. It's funny, but also that's so annoying. Because especially when you're hungover, you just want to watch TV. I just want to watch telly. Wait, follow up. Did she invite him? Oh, yes, please. He or she invite them back round to follow up from the remote person.

Follow up, please. Yeah, did that lead anywhere? I guess you just go get a universal remote from the warehouse or something and never see them again. I stole a single AirPod from him after I noticed lots of girls things in his bathroom. He clearly had a girlfriend. Or a female flatmate.

Or he loves to groom. He takes care of himself. Right. And uses pads and tampons. Yeah. I stole a pair of kitchen tongs. My flat needed some and they had more than one pair. So I was just like.

Multiple pairs of tongs. Multiple pairs of tongs. Wait, so in the morning. My flat needed some and they had more than one pair so I was just like... Multiple pairs of tongs? Multiple pairs of tongs. Wait, so in the morning... My flat needed some? You wake up and you're like, let me just see what they've got. Yeah. In the utensil drawer.

Oh God, I've got to go to Briscoe's today. Or... Get some tongs. I could just take one of these pairs of tongs. Just take these ones. I had a bag of handmade leather toys, shall we say, and in the morning they were gone.

Why is this text to put toys in quotations? Don't believe these handmade leather toys, shall we say, and in the morning they were gone. Why is this text to put toys in quotations? Don't believe these handmade leather toys were... Like trains and Legos and stuff. Nah, I don't think they were those sorts of toys. Building blocks? Yeah, stuff like that. My dad stole my mum's Walkman CD player on their one night together that created me. Oh.

You're a one night stand, baby. What an interesting origin story. Yeah. Yeah, good fun. I wonder if dad, baby. What an interesting origin story. Yeah. Yeah, good fun. I wonder if Dad, like, paid that back over the next 18 years in the form of child support. Probably. I hook up still my Ralph Lauren pyjamas.

Oh, no, not yet. Another reason to leave your shirt on. Okay. Leave your shirt on while you're making love. Who's leaving their shirt on while you're making love? You can leave your shirt on. Shirt's got to come off. Oh, sometimes it's nice to leave it on.

We need that skin to skin. Yeah. You need that skin to skin. You're kind of like Donald Duck. I'm not into skin to skin time. It's not about bonding. Sometimes the shirt can stay on. Nah, take the shirt off.

If we're being casual, the shirt can stay on. Why are you shaking your head for this? Just get it off. You think the shirt's coming off? Get the shirt on. Why are you shaking your head for this? Just get it off. You're saying the shirt's coming off? Get the shirt off. What are you leaving the shirt on for? You're like the fat guy in the pool at summer thinking we're not going to notice? Who cares?

Get it off. Slap some sunscreen on there. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, let's loop you up and see what's going on. With some sunscreen, I meant, for the man in the pool. Accidentally put on the wrong pants in the dark, sneaking out. He thought I stole them on purpose to see him again, but I snuck out for a reason,

so those pants were just dropped off. Oh, yeah. It wasn't fate, but rather a flatmate that moved out and stole my CD collection. Oh, well, that doesn't count. You can text him when we say, what did a flatmate steal? You've texted the wrong thing there.

You've thumbed in your story into our phoner and it doesn't fit. We should run a silly little poll on adult fun time shirts on or shirts off. Somebody said, of course, the boys want the shirts off. You're all the same. What are we here for? You want boobies. If we're getting funky monkey. Funky monkey.

We're not here to keep anything behind the curtains. We're here for the full show. Are you going to take your pants off and leave your shirt on? That's madness. Every now and then in a casual encounter or a quick short sharp. Well, there may be some people that leave everything on and just poke it out the hole in the boxes. Oh, no.

No. That's no. No. That's hot. That's got big Mormon energy, that. Oh, my God. That's so hot. Poke it out the hole in the boxes. Don't look. Don't look.

I don't want you to see anything. I'm going to poke it out the hole. Shirts off. Oh. One guy took my phone charger. Oh, stop that. They're not cheaps for a place. Did we get a follow-up in the end?

No, not a follow-up on the TV remote. Unbelievable. I had a very passionate evening in the back of an Uber on the way home. How far are we going passionately? That's poking it out the hole. He's poking it out the hole. You're not taking your pants off. You're not going pants around the ankles in the back of an Uber.

I need to know what your Uber rating is. Did that go up or down after that? Yeah, especially those Ubers that have the protective plastic cover on the seats. Yeah. You don't want your naked ass touching that. Yeah, yeah, you just got to poke it out the hole. Could you take the beaded seat cover off the front instead of throw it on the back? Poke it out the hole!

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We're going to give her another chance. She's yet to crack a five-star max for Shannon's hacks. Is it the day today, Shannon? I'm hoping so. No, you've lost your confidence. I can hear it in your voice. Yeah, wavering.

What is the theme of this hacks? It's to look cooler. Okay, well that's always something I aspire to do. It's a way to gain a skill that'll make you look cooler. Maybe this will help Hayley today who wore a new hoodie and so her black t-shirt is covered in white fluff.

Out of all the days. Out of all the days. I now am covered in fluff. I look terrible. So this hack, there is nothing hotter or cooler about a person than when they crack an egg with one hand. Yeah, that's true. Like there's just something about it that is cool and sexy.

I mean, maybe like riding a motorcycle or something like that. Yeah, with their shirt off and no helmet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just effortless, right? But there's also, on the flip of that, nothing more embarrassing than if you try and fail it. Okay. So I've got a hack how to teach you how to do it without wasting eggs.

Because I don't know how to do it. Perfect. You got, actually, I think, Fletch and Vaughan, you taught me how to crack an egg without getting shells. On the bench. Flat surface. Flat surface. Yeah, it's easier.

I used to crack it on the edge of the pan. Yeah. Constant eggshells in my eggs. But, yeah, so you're saying that if there was a 10 out of 10 hottie and they were doing a two-handed egg crack, you'd be like, oh, no way. Get the hell out of my house. Get the hell out of my house.

Stop making me breakfast. Jason Momoa, did you just two-hand that egg? Leave, please. Exactly. So here's a hack, how to teach you how to open an egg with one hand without wasting eggs. Okay.

Grab your AirPods pods if you own air pods i'm out okay i can bring some into the studio for you i've got air pods but not here okay well essentially what you do air pods have one of these little like magnetic caps yep you tap your air pods on the bench and then practice opening it with the fingers that you would use to open an egg hayley i know you can't see me give me grace of watching ready hayley okay okay i can see you yeah yeah oh my god that's frustrating it's frustrating you know it's so much an egg is definitely magnetic i don't know it's not the magnetic resistance it's the resistance. It's practicing the... The movement. The movement.

It sounds like we're going to get some broken ear pods here. Yeah. That's definitely something I'd love to do with something worth $300 or $400. Tap it on the table. Did you see the next generation ear pods are going to be like functional hearing aids? Yeah. How amazing is that? Isn't that insane? And which will be rich because it's always like our parents and grandparents are like,

take your headphones out of the table. Yeah, you're like, I'm hard of hearing. How dare you, cancels. Thanks. And now they all have them in. Shannon, this straight up sucks. Yeah, it's terrible. Can I bring you in my ear pods and you try it?

Yeah. Okay. One, I'm going to start by saying. I'm going to salvage the last three minutes. I'm going to say one star for me. I've never seen an egg that shape or size in my life, I've seen a multitude of eggs if I'm holding the egg like this

to it's not even in the middle it's not in the middle are you feeling the stretch this is the point I need an egg here to compare it to it's not

it doesn't work Shannon you lost me the moment you said grab your ear pods egg here to compare it to. It's not, yeah, it's just so... Yeah, it doesn't work, Shannon. You lost me the moment you said grab your earpods. Yeah. When it came to a hack about... You want to look cool cracking an egg? Grab your earpods. I think the thing would be, if you don't want to lose an egg or waste an egg, it's just practice with a small bowl and a bigger

bowl, and then if you do lose some eggs, you've still got it. That's a hack, isn't it? Is this Fletcher's Hacks? Are we doing Fletcher's Hacks? Wait, would that be five stars? Now I'm giving Fletcher's Hack five stars. Get a smaller bowl

and then practice with the eggs every time you make eggs. So you don't ruin your batter. Shannon's Hack, I'm giving... But I don't understand why you wouldn't just practice with an egg into a single bowl. No, because you've got to use your ear pods. Why practice with eggs, you dumb, dumb idiot? Don't learn to crack an egg one-handed into the middle of a lot of flour if you're looking to make a joke.

That's what Fletcher's saying in Fletcher's hack. Why are you using a second bowl? To catch any residual whites that go over the side when you're cracking. I don't understand how you would just use one big bowl. Yeah, but you're going to get goo on your bench. Sounds like Fletch's hat isn't five stars. Rich coming from you, Shannon. I give this zero stars out of five,

and I also keep your AirPods as penance. As punishment. As penance for this terrible hack. Can I answer the phones? I've got a really nice phone manner. Hello, Hayley speaking. You didn't even say it was ZM. Who cares? It's me.

They're excited to hear me. They'll be calling ZM. I don't know if they'll sign themselves. They're not going to know who I am. There's a formal way of doing it. What do you say? You say, hello, ZM. Hayley speaking. Hello, ZM. Hayley speaking. It's really interrupted my flow.

That's how I answer the phone. Hello, Hayley speaking. It's ZM. I could add it to the end. Yeah, you could add it to the end. I'm going to jump on phones. Right. Now we have Brat Summer. Brat Summer's over. Charlie XX. The American Brat Summer. But does that mean we get our next summer?

Oh, it's a British Brat Summer. Yeah. Is our Brat Summer? Coming. Coming. Okay. Yeah. Right.

We're in spring, right? Yes. So now the Northern Hemisphere's in autumn. See? I smart. You are smart. You've seen it. I've seen it. You smart. I've done how seasons work. Yeah. I've done smart. You are smart. You've seen it. I've seen it.

You smart. I've done how seasons work. I've done it in the books and I've seen it. Spring, even though there's a lot of snow for a lot of people right now. Polar blast. Yeah, polar blast. Absolutely, torrential rain yesterday in Auckland.

It's autumn in the Northern Hemisphere and they're calling it lover girl autumn. Oh, God. Why does everything have to be something? What I did is I... I can follow it in my mouth a little bit. That's a really good question. Like, why can't we just have autumn?

Why don't we just let it be September? Why can't it just be spring and that's it? It's Lover Girl Autumn, okay? Okay, yep. In the Northern Hemisphere. A large percentage of lover girls, they're calling themselves, are loving, giving and receiving

handwritten notes. And there's not the right word. Is there that giving and receiving? Yeah. Handwritten notes. Handwritten notes. They're back to writing love letters and they're calling this the lover girl autumn

because they're like, we're returning to form. We're done with these little messages and these game playing little tinder things we are doing handwritten love letter couple of sprays of perfume oh yeah that was a bit of a trick eh but you didn't want to soak the paper because then the pen would run yeah there we're back to writing letters to our lovers and people are appreciating the effort a lot lot of people, like a lot of these young... Until you go to the post shop and they're like, how much is the stamp now?

I assume there's a hand delivered. Or you have to like, yeah, hand deliver it. Or if you have to just courier bag it, right? So they sign for it. Courier bag's so unromantic. You've got this like nice cute little pink envelope with a red heart on it and then you've got to just shove it in an NZ Post blue bag.

Yeah. But they're loving this. And I think lover girls, in the autumn of lover girls, I think they're writing them to receive them as well, because they're like, oh, we're loving receiving these letters. Are lover boys writing them back? I can't remember the last time I, when I was 16 with my first love,

man, we wrote letters. Let me tell you, from the mind of a teenage boy, he was just doing what he thought he had to do to get the egg out. Into my heart. Yeah, boobs. Into your, well, what's on top of your heart? Two of them. Skin.

With a nipple on the top. Sternum. Boobs. My bones. He was doing it to get into your bones. Yeah, he was getting into my bones. He was getting into my mind and my soul. And he was the love of my life.

Right. Is this a Gen Z thing? It's a Gen Z thing. And millennials? Not so much millennials. We did this when we were at school. Yeah, so we don't need to do it again. Yeah.

Whereas Gen Zs, they would have been all tip-tap, tippity-tip, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Yeah, so they missed out on things. It's a whole thing, though. They're wanting quality of dates. They're wanting romantic gestures. They're wanting forehead kisses, handwritten notes, flowers, chocolates, the lot.

Get me a bucket. Buy me a bloody chemist's warehouse voucher. Do you know what I mean? Something useful. I'm just like, something that I'm going to use. Mitre 10 voucher, I don't care. Briscoe's voucher. A Prezi card.

Yeah. Don't buy me chocolate. I can buy my own chocolate. Prezi card's not, like, I love a prissy card, don't get me wrong. Yeah. Also, you just said- Big fan of a prissy card, not romantic, though. You just said in New Zealand Post, a courier bag was unromantic.

How unromantic is- Put a prissy card inside the courier bag. Oh, then you've got Hayley. Then you're getting into my sternum. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. I'll tell you whatan and Hayley. Play ZM. I'll tell you what, there's pink skies across the country today,

ladies and gentlemen. We're experiencing a polar blast. It's going to be doing all sorts of things. I hated that. I hated that. I hated that. I hated that. It's a moody weather system out there.

Oh, my God. Do you know, someone said to me, can I? Side note. Someone said to me, oh, my gosh, you've got a great. Approach the bench. Side note. Someone said to me, oh my gosh, you've got a great. Approach the bench. Sidebar. They said, you've got a great voice for radio. Do they teach you to speak like that?

And I said, like what? And they said, like a radio presenter. Do I speak like that kind of radio-y voice? Yeah, you do. Do I? One of us. It's unbelievable. I cannot believe it at this hour in the morning.

That's absolutely incredible. It's something I didn't know. It just slowly happens. Why do radio announcers have such terrible sinus issues? That's what we're going to uncover coming up at 8 o'clock this morning. Now, there has been a rise in AI tools, people using AI to travel up 40% in the past year. So people are using it more and more to plan their holidays.

To do what? And their vacations. I always forget that AI exists. I don't use it. Like, you use it quite a bit, Vaughn. I guess if I had an office job, I would absolutely use it to shortcut the hell out of my job. You use it for topics to talk about with your kids, eh? Yeah.

I'm like, who's the risliest Sigma? Tell me, AI, who's the risliest Sigma? And what do these words mean? And then you get a listen. And what do these words mean? Yeah, you translate your kid's dialogue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Live translation. So people are using it for all kinds of stuff,

and I always forget about it, but it's so helpful. 71% of people say they've used AI to help them find activities or attractions when they get to a city. Like, for example, I've got chat GPT open now. What are the five best things to do? I've been calling it chat gift. Chat gift. Chat, chat.

This whole time. Give me a big overseas city that you would go to. Edinburgh. Barcelona. Barcelona. Barcelona. What, I've just been shafted? He pointed to me.

No, you know why? He pointed to me instead. Do you know why? It's because Edinburgh is like, you know, Marlborough? B-U-R-G-H.borough? I didn't want to spell it wrong I'm putting it in now ChatGP is spitting it out Sagrada Familia

La Rambla Las Ramblas You idiot, I'm sorry, this guy who did No, it says here La Rambla But it is La Rambla but it is it's not La Rambla La Rambla Gothic Quarter I don't need AI

to tell me to go to Sagrada Familia it's like the biggest thing to do in Barcelona I know but some people might you buy the book

Barcelona the book you don't buy the book for Barcelona if you've got the AI technology for the Barcelona but I buy the book

for Barcelona they need to keep the book for Barcelona and they say we've got to go back to Barcelona you could be like I've got four go to Barcelona. You could be like I've got four days

in Barcelona. No one buys travel books anymore. What was it? Lonely Planet. I did see someone with like a Lonely Planet when I was away in Europe

like in July and I was like wow retro. Did your grandma give you that? Yeah it's like hello do you know about a phone?

I'm reading the book and they're like this wall that separates East and West Berlin is around here somewhere. Yeah where is it? But yeah you can be like I've got three days in a city. Tell me all the best things to do.

And it will literally give you an itinerary. And then you can fine tune it, which a lot of people are doing. So they might have, you might have, I don't know. Do it somewhere less popular than Barcelona. Barcelona. Like, where's a small town in Africa? Great. Kabul. Like, where's a small town in Africa? Great. Kabul.

Don't say Afghanistan. There's a whole country. There's a lot of ground cover. Kabul. Oh, okay. And Kabul. Can you spell Kabul, darling? You can, actually.

Capital of Afghanistan. Rich history and cultural heritage. I would love to go to Afghanistan. Dude, I would love to go to that area. I think I'd be. It looks absolutely beautiful. The museum. Oh, and when Iran sorts its stuff out, I'd love to go to Iran.

When they sort it out. The bar boys' gardens. The Citadel. Yeah, heaps of stuff. The markets. It's just a big list. And it literally gives it to you in a second. Like, it's insane.

So a lot of people using this. 57% say AI has saved them time or travel planning. Because you don't need to, like like you might go to TripAdvisor and then like the top attraction. Oh God, yeah, TripAdvisor's trash. You could also ask AI to do you up an agenda based on the fact you wanted to go to the places in their quieter times.

See, I was going to say that. Can you say to it, make me a two-day itinerary in- Avoiding crowds as best I can. Avoiding crowds. Yes, I can. In this city during July or whatever.

It's also really good for like Say you've got children So give me an itinerary that's good for kids Why would I want that? I don't have kids I'm giving examples I'm not taking someone else's kids overseas with me Or you have a disability Oh you're true, accessible

Give me accessible things to do Like a parent Had a kid with autism. Can you ask ChatGPT where the hotties are at? Like what country has the hottest people? Countries have the hottest men for Hayley to see. I said what countries have the hottest men for Hayley to see? It's going to take me back to Barcelona.

When it comes to finding attractive people, beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder. Shut up. Tart. If Hayley is interested in meeting men... She's called her artificial intelligence a tart. You tart. If Hayley is interested in meeting men who are considered attractive,

there are many countries renowned for their diverse and appealing features. Here are the countries where people are often celebrated for their good looks. Italy. Yeah, that's beautiful. Spain. Brazil. Italy is what made us realise that New Yeah, that's beautiful. Spain. Brazil. Italy is what made us realise that New Zealand are all mingers. A minger.

Greece and Turkey. There you go. Five countries. Dry lamb at the last two. Yeah, bit of dry lamb on that souvlaki. Bit of dry lamb for us. Exclude countries with dry lamb. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah. You could be as hot as, you could be a 10 out of 10 if you're cooking me some dry lamb. We're not getting together. Okay. It has taken turkey off the list. It knows. It knows.

It's given exactly, oh no, it's given, no, it has put turkey back in there. It's given me the same countries. So maybe turkey doesn't have dry lamb, Vaughn. Chat Gipt has not had the driest lamb of all. It doesn't have a mouth, so how could it? How does it know? That they're overdoing it.

Like lamb cofters. After the news next, a big announcement. Stay tuned. Don't go anywhere. Don't you leave. A polar vortex across the country. Play ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. We're going to talk about your favourite segment of New Zealand road.

Yeah, it's a segment that we're after. It's a segment and you describe it and, I mean, we don't even have to have driven it, but if you describe it well enough, I guess we'll feel like we have driven it. Yeah. This is the beautiful thing about living in a stunning small country like ours. Someone messaged in already. Yeah. My favourite road is the third corner on the Rimutaka Range in

Wairarapa. I know the corner. The third corner. What's beautiful. So my parents live over the Rimutaka Hill, right? In Featherston. So we're going from? From Wellington. They said in Wairarapa. So that made me feel like it's from the side. Well the Rimutaka Range is What side are they leaving from?

This changes the third corner. Because the third corner, I know it's a big sweeper And you get a lovely view Or is it just good for the sweep? We're heading into the mountain You're heading in It's gorge Okay

I'm not talking about the view I'm not talking about the view No but the view But the view is part of it That can count But I need I need to describe the road in itself Right

It's not all about the tarmac It's about the asphalt It's a little bit about the asphalt But itself. Right. It's not all about the tarmac. It's about the asphalt. It's a little bit about the asphalt, but it's also about what's around it, the energy of it. It's about everything. What you're seeing, peach teats, calves, love them, or maybe there's a beautiful thing on the side of the road or something.

I love it. Vibe. It's the vibe, Vaughan, and you should know this is the vibe. But that's why I'm all about the vibe. To me, it's the stretch of State Highway 1 heading south, just past Rangariri, TAV. It's such a, you've chosen such a boring bit of road to love. No, no, no, and you hit the smooth bit and it just changes everything.

I've never been through there in an electric car, but I'm imagining it would just be like so quiet. Yeah, right. Do you know what no one will text in? Ew. Tuck in any exit on the Southern Motorway or Clent. No one's going to text that in, are they? No. No one will text in, tuck in any exit on the Southern Motorway or Clent. No one's going to text that in, are they? No.

Okay, so we want you now to tell us, what is your favourite segment of road in the whole of the country? God, we're weird humans. And why? But, like, it does seem ridiculous to talk about, but already so many people are messaging in. I love the Brinduowens. The Brinduowens.

Yeah, right. It's a dark of a... It's coming over the crest where you see... And you see the... Whangarei and the big thing and the... That's beautiful. The art sculptures on the left. Marston Point.

Yep, that's beautiful. Sculpture Park. There's a house right up the top of there. Yeah. With its own, like, driveway off. Right. I'd love to go up there for a look. I think it must have used to have been a restaurant or something up there.

Stop being a nosy prick. This is my hood. I'd love to show you around. There's a beautiful church you pass on the Brunduans, and that's where my grandparents got married. Stunning. Must stop at the Cody Forest. The Cody Forest Museum.

Anyway. No, you've gone off. Oh, yeah, I have turned off. You've gone off. You've turned off before the... I'm heading to Dargaville. I'm heading to Dargaville. I apologise.

Silly goose. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Well, we want to take some phone calls. 0800-DARZATM. You can text her. 9696. Silly goose. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Well, we want to take some phone calls. 0800-DANCE-AT-M. You can text her 9696. Have you seen the quality of the grass as you pass? It's so good. Oh, my God.

When there's a new, like, hill and they've made it grassy. That is so sexy. What is this, Microsoft? Yeah. I love it. What is this, Windows XP? What is this, a background? Stunning.

Okay, 0800-DALS at Amazon number. You can text through 9696. Your favourite bit of road in this country of ours. A little bit. This segment brought to you by the National Party. Love a road. We're talking your favourite bit of road. Favourite bit of tar seal, favourite bit of asphalt in this country of ours.

We were just saying when we do something that's so niche like this and people just go absolutely nuts. Because everybody's got a favourite bit. The text machine is going hard right now. So your favourite little bit of road in New Zealand, anywhere, what is it? Lily, good morning. Good morning. How are you guys?

Really good. Well, Hayley's had an hour and a half sleep. She's all right. I can't comment to her. I'm almost euphoric. I feel so good. What's your favourite part, Lily? Going west coast past Motel to Taranaki,

where you're looking over the ocean and you can see Mount Tabnaki over the ocean. Beautiful, beautiful. We stopped in Morco on our way to New Plymouth. Yeah, that's where the truck driver heard you bagging him out. You bagged him out because he wasn't letting you pass. Great whitebait, Sammy. Yeah, as I recall wasn't letting you pass. Great whitebait semi. Yeah, as I recall.

Load up on a bit of whitebait there. A lot of beautiful West Coast roads, like the road through from like Wanaka through the West Coast is amazing. It's a bit more dramatic, eh? Yeah, really dramatic. What a dramatic coast. Very dramatic coastline. Stunning pitch there, Lily, actually. It's a great bit of

road. Yeah, good from you. Thank you. Let's go to Shelly. Shelly, your favourite bit. Kia ora, good morning. My favourite bit is on heading to Waihi Beach, going through the Karangahape Gorge. Oh, yes.

It's a good road. Beautiful road. Is it because you're perilously close to your death? There's just no fence in some bits. There's no fence in some bits. Absolutely. And I love the no fence in some bits. There's no fence in some bits. Absolutely. And I love the rock faces you go past.

I always try to give it all those salutes. Yes. The rock face is great until it slips on the car. Yeah, which it does every now and then

it does the slips. We'll close that. But I mean, you've got to think of the old timers making those roads. I know. How'd they do it?

It was gold in them gullies. That's why. Yeah, I know. Get that gold out. It's a train. Beautiful train through there. Sometimes you get to see a choo-choo train. You do get to see a choo-choo.

Yeah, you've had that on the head there, Shelly. That's a good little section. My mum was in quite a serious car accident in that gorge. Oh. Someone came around the corner. Well, Shelly, yeah, you feel bad now, don't you? Christine was in a head-on. Was she?

Yeah. Someone came around the corner going too fast, and they skidded, you feel bad now, don't you? I do, I do. She was in a head-on. Was she? Really? Someone came around the corner going too fast and they skidded and they were sideways and mum was just like, oh well, smashed right into them. Here I go. Yeah, wow. It's not a favourite for you then, Pat. Yeah. Well, no, she's still alive.

She's fine. Yeah, yeah. She's just been shaking. She walks, she talks. It's good. She walks and she talks. Like a living doll. Yeah.

Shelly, thank you. Sam, what's your favourite part of New Zealand Road? The road into Huntly when you're driving down from Auckland and you get to see the chimneys and you get to make that joke, I hear Huntly don't need their chimneys any longer and then everyone in the car rolls their eyes. Yeah, because they're already long enough. This is Sam, our very own Sam from ZM.

It's great to know that our ZM team listened to the station. You know, it's great. And there's a smooth bit of road there. My favourite part about that road is how smooth it gets at one stage, Sam. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, the thing is as well, I think the speed limit changes there, so you've got to be really careful and keep your eyes on the road and not let the chimney get too long because you can get pinged, of course.

Yeah. Safety first. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Sam. Really appreciate that. More messages in. Rimutaka's when the clouds are down low. Misty! You feel like you're driving to heaven. I don't want to be

driving to heaven. It means I'm dead. Huia to Little Huia on the west coast of Auckland. Where's Little Huia? Oh yeah, that's quite beautiful. Yeah, it's nice out there. Now, there's a stretch of road just before Kuro in the South Island. The Waitakere region. I've looked it up.

Where a huge willow tree hangs over the road. And you get to drive under it. I want to do that. I just got a chill down my spine. At the description of that willow tree. Do you know another little bit of road that I did at the March? The Mount Cook, that road when you're driving, you turn off.

Are you driving beside the canals? Yeah, you turn off from Tekapo and you're driving towards Mount Cook. It's beautiful around there. And you just see the mountains. Great bit of road. Yeah. And all the tourists pull over and stand in the middle of the road and take a photo. Yeah. Don't worry about cars going

110k an hour, that sort of thing. Devil's staircase, when there's no one in front of you, you can just turn. Oh no, you don't turn into a racetrack. That's silly. Don't be silly.

But they said when there's no one in front of you. That's what somebody said, the Thames Coast. Beautiful road, but all my memories of it are getting stuck behind a camper van. Yes. On the way to my mate's features.

It's stunning. It's stunning. Stunning. Thames Coast at Christmas because the Pahutukawa is in bloom. Oh, yeah. Sun painting on the water. Oh, yeah, we love that.

Someone said anywhere where you drive under trees and the sun cascades through the canopy. No, we need specific bits, sorry. Fitzgerald Glade is the one that they mentioned. Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.

That they followed up with. Oh, yeah, stunning. That's absolutely their favourite. By Rotorua. By the way to Rotorua, yeah. Driving, this is a person who lives in the big smoke of Auckland. I didn't expect to see any inner city roads. Driving down Hillsborough Road and seeing the Manukau Harbour.

Oh, yeah. Hillsborough's up high. You've got to get out of it more. It's in the name, isn't it? Hills. Yeah. It's a borough of hills. Yeah.

State Highway 6 alongside Lake Hawia and Lake Wanaka. Oh, yes. That is beautiful. Yeah. Drove my husband mad going on about how gorgeous it was. Wanaka. Oh, yes. That is beautiful. Yeah. Drove my husband mad going on about how gorgeous it was. Bloody gorgeous. Keep saying it. I love that when you're on a road trip and you're like,

oh, every corner. How lucky are we? Kingston to Frankton. That's right. That's the same as that Devil's Seacase place there. Yeah, that's beautiful. Just absolutely beautiful. Wanaka to Haast is amazing. I've never driven that road. That's the one you were just referring to. Yeah, that's what I was just beautiful. Wanaka Pass, that's amazing.

I've never driven that road. That's the one you were just referring to. Yeah, that's what I was just saying, yeah. Kaimo Ranges, that is a beautiful bit of road. And on a clear day, you get to the top, there's a good view. But it's a very dangerous road. And I'd say for lots of people, it's horrendous, the amount of lives that have been lost on that stretch of road

because people are flying up there and overtaking trucks. It's so beautiful. You've got to slow down and take it in. You know? Yeah. Now there's a tree canopy going through the Lewis Pass

I'm told. I love a tree canopy. Oh is there? Lewis Pass, that's up there. A tree canopy, you can't just grow it now can you?

It's had to have been grown already. And then a road ploughed straight through it. And we ploughed a road through it. We cut down heaps of them just so we could plow a road straight through it. Well, that's like actually the road up to the visitor centre in Mount Taranaki.

That's a beautiful drive. You are literally driving through like native bush. Bush. That at some stage someone was like, you know what we need here? A road. A road straight through. A road straight up. A road straight through.

Te Anau to Milford Sound. Of course. That ride straight up. I'm going to ride straight through. Tiano to Milford Sound. Of course. That doesn't even look real when you're going through there. We took a bus. I'm glad we did. It really gave me a chance to just be like, look at that. The granite. Look at that.

When you see all the granite, you're like, what the hell? And then there's that part where you just come around a corner and it's just like this flat sort of marshy bog land. The marsh. The marsh. The marsh. The marsh. And then, of course, you climb up to the tunnel, don't you? Oh, my God.

And you go, oh, my God, the men that worked on this tunnel, how'd they get through that granite hill? Tell us some stats about the Homer Tunnel. Those cheeky little birds on the other side. Love it. Love it. Mum's just messaged saying that we should do the best passing lanes. She's right though because sometimes you're like,

God damn, this is a good place to pass. It's a beautiful passing lane. I'll open the bidding. State Highway 27 when you're going from Auckland down to like the Coromandel and you come around there and there's just like, you're just like Christ alive and you come around the corner and there's this big, fat, girthy one. There's a rest area on the left with some trees and a cool art deco house in there.

And you're just like, here we go. Here we go. It's like dust losers. Yeah. Oh, my God, yes. I know exactly that passing like great from you, Bev. Yeah, great. Really great, Bev.

Save that for another day. Yeah. Put that in the bank. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. It's... Did you want to say something? I just wanted to commend the text of someone saying

any road leaving Palmerston North's pretty good. Oh. So I got to... Because I'm from Hamilton, of course, and Hamilton and Palmerston North, we throw up our fists

for who's the best inland city. Who's the worst? Big rivalry there. Huge rivalry. Who's the worst Big rivalry there Huge rivalry Who's the worst you make No best You're using the wrong word Hamilton's the best

Right now Time for Fact of the day Day Day Day Day I don't really took that out of my lungs.

I wasn't ready for that. Big night for you. She is starting to crash, I can see it in the eyes. No. She's had an hour and a half sleep after Iron Maiden. You've been at work for nearly, yeah, you've been at work for twice as long as you slept. Don't give me the numbers.

I feel fine. I'll run some numbers for you. Well, this week at Fact of the Day, it's all about fire trucks, fire appliances. That's right, because tomorrow, this time tomorrow, we'll be broadcasting. No, we're not. Sorry, this time Thursday.

Thursday. We're leaving tomorrow, but this time Thursday, we'll be live from the Hawke's Bay Airport for the naming ceremony of the new fire truck. And we did put our weight behind the voting for Dame Judy Drench. We're hoping that that comes through. I'm also hoping that today,

Vaughan Fletcher, if we could just have a private conversation, I hope Vaughan's fact-checked his own fact because yesterday he gave a fact and it wasn't true. We had all these firefighters texting in. It was incredibly embarrassing. I heard from some firefighters on my own accounts and they said, they were listening to the podcast

and saying, hey, that's not quite right. And then, oh, I see a firefighter's joined you and made some corrections. Just appreciate hearing about our service. That was the general vibe. Yeah, thank you for your service. I saw a fire truck yesterday. I slowed down accordingly.

Just have a look. Was it a fire truck or a fire engine? It was the same thing. Was it a one or a seven or a four? I think we clarified that it's sort of the same thing. Well today is specifically about airport crash tenders. That's what the airport

fire trucks are called. Airport crash chicken tenders. Airport chicken tenders. I guess because they tend to the crash. Otherwise I was an airport fire appliance. Are you going to deal with why there's so much sexier than normal fire engines or trucks or whatever you call them? No.

Well, I'll be dealing with one sexy aspect. Okay. And I'll be very interested to see when we go to the airport in Horse Bay if this new yet to be named fire tender, fire appliance has a penetrating schnozzle. A penetrating schnozzle?

Schnozzle. Correct. Some airport tenders have an elevated extended... Can you stop calling it a tender because now all I can think about is a chicken tender. Now I need chicken tenders have an elevated extended... Can you stop calling it a tender because now all I can think about is a chicken tender. I'm starving. Now I need chicken tenders. Thank you. Some airport fire appliances...

Thank you. ...have an elevated... No, but that makes it sound like a kettle or a toaster, you know? Yeah. Just call it an airport fire truck. Some airport fire... It's not fire. It's an appliance.

Here we go. Here we go. Here he is with his BS facts. Some airport appliances have an elevated extended extinguishing arm capable of raising the foam or the water that it shoots out about 20 metres. Oh, wow. Okay. Put your hand down.

Then some can then puncture superficial structures. What? Such as an airplane fuselage to extinguish internal fires using a reinforced schnozzle. Would you puncture a window or the fuselage? I don't know. Wouldn't it be easier to just puncture the window? It says the fuselage.

The window is part of the fuselage, so maybe they aim for the window. But they just apparently will just drive it if the fire is internal and they can just... The nozzle. And it goes through. Yeah, they put the arm out and they just like... Charge it and they hit the schnozzle.

And then they foam up the... And then they can foam out or water out whatever they decide to pump into the cabin. That's cool. The fire might be in the cargo area. Yeah. But there's a fire in there so they'll puncture it in there and...

Wow. How do they decipher whether to use... Oh, you probably won't know this because you don't know your own family. You don't really know much about fire trucks so far. How do they decide foam or water? That's a good question. That's a good question. Oh, I think it depends if it's a fat...

If you're cooking chips. Well, you wouldn't pour water on a fuel fire, would you? Because it would only make it worse. No, you definitely wouldn't. That's what the foam is for the fuel fire. Right. But if it, oh, what are lithium batteries?

If one of those goes up, how do you best to put those out? I don't know. You're the fact man. Well, I haven't looked into anything more than some of them are equipped with a penetrating schnozzle. Okay.

So they can drive up to the plane and be like, puncture, extinguish. Are there people inside this fuselage? Hopefully not. Well, they might be off or they might be in. But would you rather be wet or dead? Or covered in foam?

Covered in foam like a rad early 2000s outback phone party during our week. Or dead? I'd rather be covered in foam. Slightly inconvenienced. I'd be be covered in fine. I'd rather be at a fun party. I'd be wet rather than dead. Are there jello shots? At the fun party?

Yeah, as you slide down the slide. They give you a jello shot. Okay, great. And you have to get your finger in because it was in a little plastic cup. Yeah, it doesn't come out as much. It doesn't suck out like that. And you try to tongue it out but it's Yeah, it's a whole thing. Too much gelatin. And it's weirdly tongue it out, but it's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole thing. Too much gelatin.

And it's weirdly, the top of those little plastic disposable shot cups were always a little bit sharp. Yeah, yeah. And if you got your tongue in there and hit the corner, yeah, yeah. You'd need to be careful. You've got to be very careful tonguing out your jelly shots. It's quite the tongue injury. Hard world out there.

It's so difficult. Today's fact of the day is that some airport fire appliances are equipped with a penetrating schnozzle. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch for the daily. Play ZM. I picked up my best friend Jess from the airport yesterday and I parked and I went in. Wild that you did this.

Yuck. Do you know why? You know the rule at Auckland of any domestic airport, you park just down the road and then they've got to tell you when they're out and then you just quit playing. Do you know my mum will park in the loading zone outside New Plymouth Airport and wait for me to go out to her car? Oh, really?

She doesn't want to pay the whatever it is to go in. Yeah, it's fair enough. Well, the only reason I did it with Jess is because whenever I fly into Wellington, she'll always come and she'll meet me at the arrival gate. Oh, no. I know. It's just something she's always done.

You're not an unaccompanied minor. You're not 10. Every now and then she'll bring a sign. Like, it's sort of an odd thing. Oh, that's nice. Oh, no. I know. It's just something she's always done. You're not an unaccompanied minor. You're not 10. Every now and then she'll bring a sign. Like it's sort of an odd thing. Oh, that's nice. That's cute. I know. So I sort of thought, well, I can't just text and be like,

I'm in the pick-up zone. Yeah. So I went and I parked. Were you a bumble? It did actually. She's like, hello to you. Anyway, old reference. So I parked in the car park.

Got me tiki. I actually can't even remember how much it was. Anyway, side thought. Went in, sat at the arrivals gate. Had a great laugh there. And then out she came. And no check-in. So I was like, we out the door.

We're walking out through Auckland Airport Airport like, oh, you know, heading towards the exit. And she goes, I just need to quickly go to the toilet. Bit of a drive to mine. I was like, that's absolutely fine. So I took her bag and I sat down kind of by, heading towards regional. Okay. By the toilets. By the toilets, yeah. And I sat down there and then Jess was maybe in the toilet for a normal amount of time that it takes a woman to pee.

And in that time, this woman who was sat quite close to me, came up to me and was like are you going to be here for a bit? And I was like, oh yeah, I'm just waiting for my friend. And she goes, oh, would you mind watching my bag?

And I was like, from woman to woman, absolutely. I'll watch your bag while you go to the toilet. Yeah. So I said, happily watch your bag. And she goes, thank God. I'm starving and I need to get a cup of coffee. What? No, she's not using the toilet.

Not using the toilet, which I thought she was. You can take your bag and your stuff to get a coffee. So then this woman leaves me with her suitcase. Immediately Jess comes out of the bathroom and is like, let's go. And I'm like, well, I can't now. Because you're bag sitting. I'm bag sitting. But you don't need a possible alkyd eruptive.

Maybe. We don't know. Or for however long it takes for this woman to get a flat white and a panini or whatever. She had big panini vibes. I'm sorry, but you can take your suitcase with you. It's fine. It's the airport.

Everyone's doing it. I literally thought she was popping in for a wee. And that's hard to take the bags in there. Yeah, you can't be in the cubicle with a giant suitcase. And I was like, how long's a wee? Like, whatever. Yes, I'm happy to do it. So it was like the moment she went off, oh, my God, thank God.

I'm starving. I'm gagging for a coffee. Just walks off. I was like, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. And Jess comes out. So now we're sat waiting. And you're paying for the parking too. And I'm paying for parking.

This was my thought. I was like, oh, my God. Jess was like, let's go. I was like, oh, I can't now. I'm watching this bag. Thought crossed my mind. Yeah. I don't know her. You're never going to see her again. I'm never going to see Jess was like, let's go. I was like, oh, I can't now. I'm watching this bag. Thought crossed my mind. Yeah, just. I don't know her.

You're never going to see her again. I'm never going to see her again. I'll just go. And I was like, no. And that's how Hayley met TVNZ's new commissioner and got herself written off into more future. Yeah, more stuff. I think.

A little dirt bag. No, I was like, I can't do that. So then Jess was just like, well, how long are we waiting? I said, I don't know. She's going to get food and a coffee. I would have wheeled it over to her and be like, we've got to leave. But I didn't follow where she went. She went off towards the food section. So how long was just like, well, how long are we waiting? I said, I don't know. She's going to get food and a coffee. I would have wheeled it over to her and be like, we've got to leave. But I didn't follow where she went. She went off towards the food section.

So how long was she? Oh, it was a good like five minutes. Enough time for my best friend Jess to go, okay, well, if we're going to do this, I've got something in my suitcase for you. So she put her suitcase down, opened it up, went through it, got out this thing, zipped it back up, gave them to me, talked about the thing, like a whole thing. The woman came back with this coffee in hand and was like, thank you.

And I was like, and then, yeah, then I was like, oh, my God, and I'm paying for parking. And I never paid for parking at Auckland Airport. She abused the privilege. Yeah, I could have been in there, grabbed Jess, straight out, no. So, look, my generosity, I am a generous person, but my generosity bit me on the butt yesterday. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

We had a family, we've decided after dinner now we're trying to do, like, no individual devices. Meaning if we all want to play, like, PlayStation together, we can do that. Or if we all want to watch something on TV, we can do that. That's nice. But everybody just can't be on their own TikTok vibe. So you all just watch one TikTok? We watch music videos.

Oh my god, I love music videos. Yeah, I know. You just don't sit down and watch music videos. No, no. So we sat down and watched music videos. Rule. You gotta show your kids the old videos. I show my best friend's kids the Sweet Like Chocolate Boy. Remember that video?

It was like a chocolate bus. Anyway, we digress. We digress. There has been some research from academics at the University of Antwerp in Belgium. Fascinating. They studied 67,000 partnered individuals and their siblings over 20 years. Wow. I love a long study.

It's not a study like we've just talked to 50 people. We interviewed 20 people, we bumped into on the street. We just talked to them last month. No, this is 67,000 partnered individuals and their siblings over 20 years and they found that the propensity, that's a big word, eh?

That's a delicious word though. The likelihood. The likelihood to separate was lower after watching a brother or sister go through a relationship split. Because you're like, oh, that looks stressful. Let's just stick it out. Yes. Is that it? Like you're just watching it going, oh.

They said one of the main reasons they see is that you see the negative consequences of the relationship split. And you think twice about ending your own relationship. But it makes you stronger. Seeing a sibling, and do you think it's because of that sibling rivalry? It's like, well, we can't fail. We've got, I've got to be the favourite. I've got to be the favourite child. I've got to succeed at this relationship.

We've got to do better. Maybe. A bit of that. I haven't seen, my brother's last breakup was well over 10 years ago. So I don't think I really remember much of it. My sister's broken up. I don't know.

I didn't really even think of it in that way. That doesn't look like fun. And are you now realising it's actually the only reason you're still with Sade? And they're questioning your entire marriage, your whole family. My success depends on their failure. Yeah. Oh, my God. This makes so much sense. My success depends on their failure. Yeah, oh my God. This makes so much sense.

I need to see more failure. I feel like watching people, even like close friends go through like big breakups, you're like, oh God, harrowing. Yeah, because it's the emotional turmoil. It's the financial turmoil. The social disruptions, like well who gets who in the friend group?

But then you also get to watch them go out and just, like, have fun and, like, hook up with people and you're like, that also looks fun. Yeah. You got through the storm. What a wild life. Now I get to live vicariously through you. And that's a lot of fun as well. Positives and negatives, I guess.

Positives and negatives, yeah. Vaughan, do you want to break up with Sade so that Fletch and I can benefit? We're not siblings, though. We're not siblings. Well, you guys are as close as. Arguably much closer. Fletch doesn't have a relationship that he needs to nurture to maintain. Yeah, exactly.

Actually, that might be your constant playboy lifestyle. Yeah. That is driving you to make your marriage succeed. You're welcome. What, because you look at Fletch's life and think, no thanks?

In what part? What elements of it aren't great? I've talked to multiple people about like, how's Fletch? And I'll be like, just like, just perfect.

I'm always like thriving. Yeah. How is he? The greatest he's ever been. My parents are like, what does Fletch do after work? Whatever he wants. Whatever I work? Whatever he wants.

Whatever I want. Whatever he wants. Whatever I want. No questions. Who are you taking? You haven't mowed the lawns. I don't have lawns. I don't have lawns.

I don't have lawns. I don't have lawns. I've got to fight with my partner. Do I have a partner? That's fantastic. You've got to go to this thing with the kids after school. Do I have kids?

No kids. It's great. It's great. It's great. I had to go to work. I had to go do one of my other jobs. I don't have another job. What does he do if he gets lonely?

He doesn't. Plays with himself or finds someone to do his night. He's got an answer for everything. Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast. I'll tell you. It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheezing. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast.

It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it, okay? I read it. Give us a review.