ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 18th June 2024

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Cursive  Vaughan the Mover Hayley hit the Triple  Top 6: Team Names  Tell us about your Worst kiss  Fletch vs Kmart Influencers  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome. Welcome to the show. Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Two minutes past six. Let me check. No winners yesterday. So the jackpot, $14,000. I heard it with Brianna and Clinton. I believe they're going by their full names now. Oh, nice. This joke was with Brianna and Clinton. I believe they're going by their full names now. Oh, nice. This joker was one and a half seconds out.

She was like six and a half seconds. Fall asleep. She nodded off. She reckoned she was using a stopwatch. She's using it wrong. We've had some really close guesses. So your chance to play and win at 8 o'clock this morning, five on time, we give you a 3-2-1 beep,

and you've just got to say time at exactly 5.00 seconds. If you do that today at 8 o'clock, $14,000. Woo! That'd be lovely. That'd be lovely, wouldn't it? That'd be lovely. Oh, guys. The top six on the way.

And I believe for the first time ever, we have an international pickleball match happening in New Zealand. It's against Tonga. And we've looked. We can't find a name for this team. Or is it just New Zealand Pickleball Team? New Zealand Pickleball Team. Well, you've got the All Blacks. NZPBT.

Tall Blacks. Tall Blacks. Yeah. And we can't go Pickleball Team because everyone will think we're sponsored by that courier. The courier. The courier outlet. Aramex. No, PBT.

Oh, PBT. The Trucking Transport Logistics and Courier Outlet. Oh, you can't have that. So we can't go Pickleball Team. Today for the top six, we're going to go to the top six Pickleball Team names for the New Zealand Pickleball. And maybe chuck in a couple of rug mascots here and there as well. Yeah, I'm into that. I like that.

Pickleball. Funny sport. I have not played it and I have not seen it played. I think I'd like playing it. It's a small court. It's like big table tennis. Well, it's like little tennis, isn't it? We just used to call it padded tennis.

Little tennis or big table tennis? We used to call it padded tennis. It is like padded tennis. Yeah, it is. Yeah. It's so good. It's so cute. of tennis. It is like pad of tennis. Yeah it is. Yeah. It's so cute. Coming up in the top six.

Next on the show though we're going to talk handwriting. Yeah I think over this song let's all do a sample of our handwriting. It's not going to work

for the listeners though is it? Well not everything has to be about those turkeys. Sometimes things can just be for us. Yeah.

I don't know if they can. No one's even listening, my dude. It's six o'clock in the morning. Why would anybody be awake? This is a ridiculous time to be awake. It's insane. Who's awake?

Bakers? Dairy farmers? And radio hosts. These people have their hands on cows' titties or on dough for bread, you know what I mean? They don't have a hand for you to do a handwriting test.

It's not true. It's not true. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, this comes to us because a ministerial advisory group on English, maths and statistics has, I guess, outlined... Statistics has jumped the queue. It's English, maths and science.

Statistics is three down. I don't know. Also, statistics is part of math. Yeah. Look, I don't know. I didn't make you your own thing, statistics. I didn't write this report. Well, 66% of people in the studio think statistics is the...

Shut up. That's a stat for you. So the advisory group, this is what they say to the government. Like, you know, this is how you should be... This is what you should be teaching in schools and this is what we should be doing. They have recommended that grammar and handwriting lessons, including cursive handwriting, should be done and with tests.

Oh, I think they should shut up. Cursive. So that's a waste of time. Maybe in the olden days. There's no point. You had a pen that you dipped in ink and you couldn't take it off because you'd get a blob of ink. Yeah.

That was the only point of cursive, right? Yeah. Who cares? If they can write something that's legible, surely they're winning. Because at what age did your girls have to have like a Chromebook or an iPad or whatever in class? I think it was optional from like year two. Yeah, wild. What's that?

Second year. Second year. Six or seven years old. Six or seven. So you're typing from- You just wrote everything. Yeah. Whereas now you'd be typing everything.

But handwriting was its own subject. You had to learn how to do it all. You'd have those lines and you'd go halfway for lowercase and fullway for uppercase. Do you remember the big spaced books in primary school and you'd do the big- Beautiful. Quite like-

And then you'd learn to do the flickies and then you'd learn to do the cursive. Well, so apparently the kids just aren't that good at writing now. Nah, they wouldn't be. Even sometimes now, like I've always had pretty handwriting, but even now if I write for too long, I'm like, oh, my hand hurts and then my writing gets

super messy and you're like, what the hell is that? So we all just took a turn writing something out. Dear listener, you can imagine this. Mine's quite large. How would you describe mine, Hayley? It's sort of scrawled. Scrawled? It's large.

But it's still cute. It's pretty. It's still pretty. No, it is nice. Yep. Mine's, well, you'd see it in Bridgerton. Yeah, like my nanny used to write me birthday cards and letters and stuff and that's what her writing looked like.

Yeah. Mine isn't proper cursive. I sort of made it up. Can you read some of it? No, no, no. My handwriting people will be like, wow. I'll be like, well, read it out then. Okay, Vaughan, show us yours.

Like a baby. Oh, that's sort of like a baby. See, this is why they're calling for the test. But you could read that. Yeah, you could read it, but it's ugly. Yeah, but I don't care. What do I care? It's uninspired.

Who's seen my writing? It sounds like you care. I don't write in cursive. I don't write in cursive. Why are you being so aggressive? I don't write in... Why are you yelling? I thought we had to do linked,

so that's... This is linked. If I was writing in a birthday card. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's not my preferred handwriting. Is that your cursive? Oh, shit. That's terrible.

Hey, in all fairness he did go to like a tiny primary school in the middle of nowhere with like five kids. I could solve long division. You can. That's not what we're doing here though. We've already worked out that that's part of math. I can do it. That's embarrassing. There's no need to learn cursive anymore.

No there's not. It's a dumb, it's dumb. Yeah. It's dumb. I only write cursive because it looks better. If I write in normal just block letters, it's ugly. But I normally, when I write, I'm in, yeah, just printing. I write in a lot in capitals. I write a lot in capitals. Does that mean you're psycho?

Very aggressive. I'm going to Google that. It's just nice and clear, writing in capitals. But then it takes a long time because the letters are so much bugger. Yeah. All Camp's handwriting lacks connection between letters, obviously, which indicates that the writer does not like

to relate to people at a personal level. Wow. Also, such writers are quite egotistical. They hold strong opinions and it's very tough to get them to see another point of view. Fletch has... I'm just writing in cursive.

Big ego. You said you like to write in capitals a lot too. Yeah, I do. If I'm not writing curly-whirly, it's all caps. It's all caps, yeah. I do it though because it looks nicer. Yeah. It looks way nicer.

It looks way nicer. Lowercase looks like you're a baby. You know when we get one of those giant goodbye farewell cards? Always caps. I'm always caps in those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it way nicer. Yeah. Lowercase looks like you're a baby. You know when we get one of those giant goodbye farewell cards? Yeah. Always caps. I'm always caps in those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it looks nice.

I might start writing illegibly in those just like, you always do. Yeah, write it like just scribbles. Yeah, just, yeah. And then Vaughan at the end. Like a doctor's prescription pad. That's bullshit, eh? But they don't even do that now

because they're all printing out their prescriptions. Yeah. But shorthand, it's BS. That's bullshit, eh? But they don't even do that now because they're all printing out their prescriptions. But shorthand, it's BS. It's fake. It's like a little joke they've got against us. Journalist, journalist, yeah. It's funny. Yeah, I've had interviews, eh, and they just go, and you're like, read that back to me.

You're going to misquote me. This is exactly what's happening here. Next on the show. Granny flats. Granny flats. Everybody's got a granny flat memory. The sleep out. Yeah. Next on the show, Granny Flats. Granny Flats. Everybody's got a Granny Flats memory. The sleep out. Yeah.

I'm picking there is about to be a massive resurgence in Granny Flats as the government considers allowing people to build them without resource consent. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Granny Flats.

We all had a friend who lived in one. I think the technical, granny flats aren't allowed to have running water. Sleep out. Power, yes. Kind of like a sleep out. Yeah. A bed.

That was always like, in the flat, the sleep out was sometimes the, you were drawing the short straw because there was no toilet. So in winter, you had to get back into the main flat. Go into the main house.

But yet you also, on the other hand, had some independence from the main flat. I know. So you're like pros and cons there. Yeah, con for me, because I pee so much in the middle of the night, I couldn't have it. And whenever you stayed somewhere in a granny flat,

there was always that moment I'd open the ranch slider and put your jandals on and run inside for a wee. So granny flats I always said, I just said moments ago, no running water. But no they are small, self-contained and detached houses. Yeah, you're so full of shit sometimes. So it's like a tiny home.

So a sleep out is different to a granny flat. Yeah, right. A sleep out would just be a bed in a room. It's a secondary dwelling on a property. Oh. So these ones could have a bit of running water. I've got amazing. Granny flat's in the news because apparently the government's going to make it easy to build them in the backyard.

Because we built a little studio in our last house and it was nothing. It was just like a plywood thing. No, but it was because it was under 10 square metres. Yeah. And it had no running water, it was because it was under 10 square metres. Yeah. And it had no running water, no kitchen, no nothing. 10 square metres? That's like $400 a rent. That's huge.

That's good rent. Yeah, we charged the guy out there that much. You're allowed to build rural buildings 30 square metres or less. Yes. No resource consent. You just get to be a certain amount of distance away from a firewall and a fence. Right. That was the deal.

And it was, yeah, we didn't have to get consent. Right. And so now when they pass this, you'll be able to build them. Yeah, without, with plumbing though? The proposal is to make it easy to build granny flats and increase the supply of affordable homes for New Zealanders. The consultation is looking at two key pieces of legislation, the RMA, you're always hearing about the RMA

Resilience Management Act So it would be that could be up to 60 square metres in size That's a big house It's bigger than some apartments I think that's pretty sure Twice the size of some apartments What my last house was

Yeah I think it was like 70 square metres What else does it say here? Yeah, it's just potential barriers Who can do it, how much it would cost What rules did need to be So no consent Without having to go Undergo the building consent process

Jeepers It's kind of a bit wild Which means lots will get built and lots will be to standard And lots won't be to standard Yeah There'll be a couple of fires from some dodgy wiring Which means lots will get built and lots will be to standard. And lots won't be to standard. Yeah. Yeah. Then there'll be a couple of fires from some dodgy wiring.

And then one's going to like blow away or get washed away in the next flood. And if it's unconsented, if you were renting it out though, would it still have to abide by the landlord laws now that you have to have ventilation and a form of heating? I would say so. Insulation and that kind of stuff. Yeah. Or we could ignore all that. 20 bucks less a week. Oh yeah. I tell you what

I'm not going to charge you bond either. You give me 500 bucks bond and I'll just put it in the cookie jar. My bond's lodged with the so you want me to withdraw it. That's a bunch of bullshit red tape. Get that out of there. Give me 500 bucks.

I'll put it in the cookie jar. Does this also mean there's going to be heaps of dodgy Airbnbs now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll be in the back of someone's backyard and they're just looking at you the whole time? They're on their back porch like, having a nice holiday?

You're good, thank you. How do you like Christchurch? Yeah, it's great, thank you. We're just having a glass of wine in the sun, just enjoying the afternoon. You got in at 2 o'clock in the morning? Yeah. Well, yeah, we did. Is that all right?

We heard you having sex. Yeah. Well, we just didn't really anticipate being this close. We heard the noise and then we turned on the webcam that was in the room. Sorry? Goodness me, what a technique your fellow has. Sorry, what? Really gives it to you.

Alright. Yeah. Why don't it be your safety as much as ours? Great. Looking forward to it. Looking forward to it. Next on the show, you did some moving yesterday, Vaughan. Yep, it's moving out. I'm sure I did. Moved some stuff.

My early morning definitely before my family's awake, thoughts on moving. Great. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, yesterday, well, it better rain today for a start. I think it's going to rain today at our house. Right. Is that good?

Because that's why yesterday it was all hands on deck to get. Oh, because you said it's going to rain tomorrow. Yeah, because this is one of my things. We're moving. It's not. It's not. It's not going to rain tomorrow yeah because this is one of my things we're moving it's not it's not raining today it's not going to rain at all feels like you put pressure

on for nothing sort of needed that rain we're moving all of Sharder's dad's stuff into the little sleep outy cottagey situation into the

unconsented granny flat that we literally just talked about no no no no no don't do that you'll have people coming around for a look no it's fully consented.

Right. It's a fully consented little. That sort of tin shack. Yeah, made mostly out of old shipping pallets. I thought the chickens were in there. Yeah, they were. We moved them out. Right.

You call it the Smith slums. Yeah, yeah, we do. Wow. I like to walk around. It mostly made of old corrugated iron. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we just tapped into the power lines. String.

Good. Free power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just tapped into the power lines. String. Good. Free power. Okay. Power. Just hooked over the power line with a coat hanger at one end. Right. Ran it down a wire. Right. Into the house. So you're moving all of Shadow's dad's stuff into this house.

Right, okay. Into this little cottage. It's been in your girage? Just in storage? It has just been sitting in our garage. Okay. So it's, I've wanted the garage back. It's happened, your garage? Just in storage, James? It has just been sitting in our garage. Okay. So I've wanted the garage back. It's happened. And I said yesterday, let's get this done.

Let's get this. And that's what I said. I said, let's get this done. God, I hate moving. I had a fire in my belly. I hate moving. Do you know what? I accidentally said I'd help big-hearted James move at the weekend.

Why is he moving again? Yeah, he's moving again. He must be a nightmare to live with. He moves a lot. He's great. I think he's great to live with. And so I said I'd help him move the bed on Saturday. We're going out on Friday. How big's his bed? Why are you doing that?

I don't know. Because I manhandled a bed yesterday. I was like, everyone was laughing about. And I know you like to, when you're moving, it's moving, baby. It's moving day. Get it done. You hire a van or a trailer and you just get it done. You just chuck it on moving baby it's moving day get it done you hire a van or a trailer

and you just get it done or you just chuck it on the roof of the chimney and drive it down the driveway to the other place yeah that's what I was doing

so I was I was hustling I was like let's do this yeah and then I was this is you'd be proud

I was trying to work out the most productive way to do things good for you and I said to Sade I'm gonna bring the stuff because it had been in the garage some of it was a little dusty I was like you clean it and then when I come back with the next load productive way to do things. Good for you. And I said to Sade, I'm going to bring the stuff because it had been in the garage.

Some of it was a little dusty. I was like, you clean it and then when I come back with the next load, I'll drag it to where it needs to be and put the next thing there for you to give a bit of a vacuum and a dust to. Did you need your garage vacuum cleaner?

Because remember, I've still got that. Yeah, but I bought another one. I bought a wet and dry vac. Oh, did you? I do want that vacuum back at some stage. Yeah.

Sort of using it at your own discretion. I just asked if I could borrow a vacuum cleaner for a couple of weeks and it's been six months. And now it's your vacuum cleaner. Oh, it's mine now, yeah. Well, possession is nine-tenths of the law. I've got this scaffolding, so. Oh, we're at a standoff.

Okay, a standoff. But I was like thinking productively. Yeah. I was like, this is the best use of time. I'm the muscle man. I'll chuck it up. Rate yourself. Do you know the muscle man?

The muscle man? The muscle man. The muscle man. The muscle man can. Because he puts out his back, throw him at his own roofs. He saw today for some reason in the hill. So what was your argument? No, shut up.

It was like slow down. I was like, we're losing light, baby. I'm not slowing down. I'm like, we're moving, we're hustling, we're doing it. Like, she went and got the girls from school and she came home and I'd done heaps. Yeah. And I was like, all right, it is hustle time.

I'm sort of with you both because I like to hustle and I'm the same. I hate moving. Let's just get it in. Yeah. But Aaron also does this sometimes. Ball of the gate. It's going, going, going. I'm like,. I hate moving. Let's just get it in. Yeah. But Aaron also does this sometimes. Ball of the gate. It's going, going, going on. We could take a pause.

No, get it done. Get it into the house. You can sort it later. He might not want it there. I'm like, I don't care. We're going to deal with that. We've got to get it all in. It's clean. Wherever it needs to go, it can be moved later. But for now, it can go there. We can't leave this outside. It's going to rain tomorrow, which I all in. It's clean. Wherever it needs to go, it can be moved later. But for now, it can go there. We can't leave this outside.

It's going to rain tomorrow, which I kept saying. It's not. She's like, it's not. It's not going to rain today. All we need to do, this is what needs to happen. We'll only need a shower for approximately five minutes. We need to go around. We'll sneak onto the property.

Get the hoses. Yes. We'll put them on the roof. Like a movie. That's what they do in the movies. Yeah, we're like, oh Oh it's pissing down outside I'll be like Don't look out the kitchen window

Can't rain everywhere at once It's like weird The sun's shining Through this rain Well that's autumn Isn't it So strange I was saying

Bloody Auckland And it's stupid four seasons It feels like it's just Raining over the kitchen And lounge Well isolated showers They did say that on the news Yeah very isolated

Yeah and if we'd had A mattress on the roof It would have been isolated To the mattress So you got this off your chest before they've woken up? Yeah. But I got it done. I got it.

Oh, it's like. Get it done. Let's get this done. All done. Well, it's not in my house anymore. Not my problem. And then went home and parked the car in the garage because the garage has been full of stuff that was definitely not mine.

Yeah. Including some unusual nude art. Now, where did you put his karaoke machine? He's got that with him. Wait, what's this nude art he's got? His friend painted some nude art and he bought it back. Of who?

Who's nude in it? Oh, I don't know. She might have gone to a class. Oh, right. A stranger. A life model or something. Right, it's Oh, I don't know. She might have gone to a class. Oh, right. Oh, a stranger. The life model or something. Right, it's a woman. A nude woman.

Yeah, I said to him, just nude woman, and he's like, yeah, looked at me like Asif, like, I'm not gay. I'm not gay. Not homo. I'm not gay. I appreciate the human form, as long as there's titties. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. I feel like yesterday I really utilised

medical science and I'm so grateful for all of it and for lots of different things No, not the first thing The first thing I did was I went and gave I went and, um, I gave blood Who'd you give it to? I thought you weren't allowed and I gave blood Who'd you give it to?

I thought you were Allowed to I gave blood To the Lab test So that I could Find out information About myself

Wait Did you try to make it Sound like she was A New Zealand blood service hero I gave blood I gave a vial of blood To the nurse That's charity

What did I make it Sound like? Oh like I donated blood Yeah that's what you Tried to make it sound like? Oh, like I donated blood. Yeah, that's what you tried to make it sound like. Oh, I didn't mean for it to come across like that, if that's what people heard. Right.

I used to donate blood, but they said no, because I had a new tattoo and a series of small injections between my eyebrows. It was a medical procedure. I didn't know you couldn't give blood if you got Botox. I didn't know that either. Needles. Seriously? Yeah.

Oh, right. So it's not the fact that your blood could be, okay. Strange, eh? Because I've given blood, because I do like to donate blood, but if you have had acupuncture, it has to be, they look up who you got it from. Oh, yeah. And there's a number of trusted acupuncture providers.

Well, I've had acupuncture. I don't like that list. Yeah, there's a number of trusted ones. I know. I want to know who's reusing the rusty needles. I know. So the New Zealand Blood Service would be like, okay, they're fine.

They're legit. And you're like, wait, so there's not legit? Is my van-based acupuncturist legit? See, I don't know if it's on the list. He's got a jug. He boils the jug and drops the needles in there. Oh, that sterilises it. That sterilises it.

And then obviously a cup of tea. I'm assuming it's any ACC provider, right, would be fine. Any ACC provider's fine. But yeah, and then new tattoos, no, because they can never trace back whether where you got your tattoo was a good, clean place. Right. And then Botox.

I was like, are you kidding me? So you haven't been able to give blood for a while then? Yeah, for about a year. Okay, wow. We'll be able to soon. The more my frown comes back, that's when I know I'll be able to do it. Okay. Anyway, so I went and I donated a small vial of blood.

Right, to be tested. To be tested. And then I went and, so I went sucky out of the arm then I got squirty into the other arm I got my COVID vax oh wow okay from the lovely woman

that gave oh yeah yeah she's good yeah good she gave you a compliment did you did she say I had great definition

I didn't get a compliment she said you're just going to have to relax I've actually got really good I've always known from a triceps she said you're going to have to relax that bloody python that chance wow I didn't get any of that I don't think I don't get a compliment. Oh, she said you're just going to relax that. I've actually got really good, I've always known from a triceps. She said you're going to need to relax that bloody python there, Chance.

Wow, I didn't get any of that. I don't think they're meant to give you compliments because it could be seen as, you know. Inappropriate. Inappropriate. Oh, she probably read the room. I don't want compliments. She's like, here's an old boy that doesn't mind the bloody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Turn up. Yeah, yeah. Oh, how am I going to get through this? So I did that and then I got lasered. Laser hair removal. Wow, you got all of the sciences. I know. We are actually going to talk a little bit later about one of these appointments because

boy oh boy. The waiting room was somewhat of a fiasco. Okay. But yeah, when I was getting I was like needle in, sucky out, laser the moustache. How good's science? I also should have paid a bit more attention. I really lost interest in science. If this was the 60s you'd have a moustache? How good's science? It's great. I also should have paid a bit more attention. I really lost interest in science.

If this was the 60s, you'd have a moustache. I'd have a full grown beard. I'd be shaving it, so I'd have a shadow. Yeah. I'd have a shadow. There wouldn't be a vaccine. There wouldn't be a vaccine, so I'd be riddled with all sorts. Yeah.

And I suppose they would have done blood tests back in the day. Yeah, but they might have just chopped your leg off, your tingly knee. They would have just chopped a leech on. Yeah. And I suppose they would have done blood tests back in the day. Yeah, but they might have just chopped your leg off, your tingly knee. They would have just chopped a leech on. Yeah. Leech on the knee. Your blood test was they chuck a leech on and then they put the leech in holy water and if it explodes, then you've got the devil inside you. And they burn you at the stake.

And they burn me. Yeah. Yeah. Or if they try to light the leech on fire and it doesn't catch fire, you've got the devil inside you. And they burn you as well. If it does catch fire, you've got the devil inside you. And they burn you as well. If it does catch fire,

you've got the devil inside you. You've got a lot of devil, the devil's basically inside you. It's the blood test of the old church. Someone's messaged in,

Hayley, you can donate blood after 12 hours with Botox. What? And three months after a tattoo. And you can tell too

because when they put the blood into the person in the hospital, all of a sudden the person in the hospital just loses all facial expression. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The person's like, we need to save their life.

This one's absolutely riddled with Botox. It's fine. And they wake up from a coma and they're like, I look incredible. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think Tank, this is the Top Six. Well, hello there, Auckland's Ramuera Pickleball Club. Darling.

Darling. We'll host a test between New Zealand and Tonga. Tonga, darling. Tonga, who are sitting over 32 of their top players. I mean, there's four people in a game. Is it big in Tonga? Pickleball. Must be.

Must be. But there's two people per team. Yeah. In pickleball. Right? It's doubles. I've never played. 16 doubles teams.

I've never played. I think I'd like it. I think you would too. I don't know if you'd handle it with your back at the moment like that. My back. Might be just what the doctor ordered, darling. It could be. It's life stretches.

Do they have sexy pickleball coaches? You know how like, oh, an older woman go and get a sexy little tennis coach? Yes. Oh, you got very excited just then. Yeah, but I wouldn't go, you know how a lot of the images

usually rich, older woman, young tennis coach. Yeah. I want to be rich, older woman, young tennis coach. Yeah. I want to be rich, young woman. Older tennis coach. Pickleball coach. Oh, okay. How old? Like 60?

Bucking the norms there. Silver Fox in his mid to late 50s. Sort of like a retired ex-pro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like still keeps it tight. Yeah, he's got to keep it tight. Like a David Beckham. Yeah, he keeps it tight.

Oh, okay. He comes in, he's a bit gruff. He's like, hello, Ailey. Hello, you ready to hit the pickleball? I'm like, my God, you're hot. He's like, yeah, I've got a pretty face, don't I? Yeah, I'm a runner. Yeah.

Well, this New Zealand pickleball team needs a name. And I tell you what, a lot of thought always goes into naming New Zealand sports teams. Yeah. It does, yeah. A lot. So. Black, white, silver. You bet.

Number six on the list of the 12 sex names of the New Zealand pickleball team, the Black Paddles. Oh, that's good. The Black Paddles. Do we already have the Black Paddles? Like paddle for like boats or paddles. Oh. Hang on.

I have a look. Like a waka. Yeah. The Black Paddles, NZ. Canoe Polo. Okay. Oh, more. The Black Paddles. Oh, sorry. The Paddle Blacks. They're the Paddle Blacks. They're the Paddle Blacks. NZ. Canoe polo. Okay. Canoe polo.

The black paddles. Oh, sorry. The paddle blacks. They're the paddle blacks. They're the paddle blacks. Oh, that's coming up on the list. Number four on the list of the top six names of the New Zealand pickleball team. The silver paddles.

Oh, yeah. Hang on. Hang on. That'll be the women's canoe. Yeah, you know. Rugby. You should have checked for me. No, that's right. Silver paddles.

Okay, that's free. Okay. Available. And it is. I've just seen a picture of the people playing. You should have checked for me. No, you're right. Silver battles. Okay, that's free. Available. And it is, I've just seen a picture of the people playing. It is older people. Okay. So the silver battles could work for double. Wait, are you saying that like we could probably get in as younger players and... Whip their arses.

Deliver them a can of whoop-ass. Whoop-ass. Are we opening up a can of whoop-ass on these jabronis? And then finally we're in an international sports team. See, we think so. I've been in an international sports team before. We think so, but you reckon they're good? Yeah.

I mean, they're from Rimuera, darling. Darling. Darling. Darling, they've got time on their hands, darling. Darling. Number four on the list of the top six names of the New Zealand pickleball team, the White Paddles. Okay, let me have a look.

The White Paddles. We've got the Whitewater Kayak Paddles. Okay, let me have a look. The white paddles. We've got the white water kayak paddles. Okay. No, we're all right. Okay. We're all right. Okay. That's just selling paddles.

Could you say white pickles? That's coming up on the list. Oh, shush your mouth. Come on, there's not that many options. Number three on the list of the top six names for the New Zealand Pickleball team. The paddle blacks. That exists. That exists. The paddle blacks. There's not that many options. Number three on the list of the top six names for the New Zealand Pickleball team, the Paddle Blacks. That exists. That exists.

The Paddle Blacks. Yeah, so that's off the list. The Paddle Blacks, and Zed, that's canoe polo. The Paddle Blacks are New Zealand's national senior men's canoe polo team. You knew this. Of course I do. We donate to them every year. Yes, we do.

We actually sponsor their canoes, don't we? I don't want to bring up my charity work. Do we? I don't know if we do. Because our street teams are called the Black Thunders. Oh, yeah. And so we put the black paddles brought to you by the Black Thunders. Black Thunders.

Okay, right, yeah. Number two on the list of the top six names for the New Zealand Pickleball team, the White Pickles. The White Pickles? Yep, okay. The White Pickles. That's available. The White Pickles.

I reckon that's going to bring up some sort of albino pickle situation. We're good. We're good. Actually, it's available. The White Pickles NZ. I reckon that's going to bring up some sort of albino pickle situation. We're good. We're good. Actually, it's taken. It's the albino water polo team. Why would they be called the White Pickles? Because they get in the water and they get pickled. They get pickled.

It's taken. Try again. Our number one on the list. I probably wouldn't Google this. Number one on the list of the top six names in the New Zealand pickleball team, the Black Pickles. She's Googling anyway. Black Pickles. She's Googling anyway. Black Pickles.

Nope. It's not available. We are in the clear. There you go, Michael, on the Black Pickles. The Black Pickles. And well, good luck against Tonga. Yep, the Black Pickles are out there

doing their best to represent New Zealand on the Pickleball court. I can't wait to see the Black Pickles hucker. I don't think they'll hacker. They're from Remuera, darling. Remuera people can hacker if they want to do a hacker.

They might do a comedy. I know a Maori. I know a Maori. I'll call my Maori. Maybe say friend on the end of that because it sounds a little possessive. Otherwise when you say my Maori. He's fine. He lets me say that, but I will call my Maori friend and he will come.

And he will teach us the hacker. Rangi. Rangi, I need you, darling. Rangi will teach us the hacker. Rangi's my Maori friend. See, saying friend on the end just sounds so much better than saying my Maori. My Maori. My local Maori.

That is... I'd just like to take this opportunity to remind the humble listener that Hayley is of Maori descent. I am this show's Maori. Yeah, yes, yes, yes. She's my Maori friend. I'm your Maori friend. I'm your Maori friend. She's my Maori friend. I'm your Maori friend. I'm your Maori friend. She's my Maori.

Me? Me? Racist? No, one of my best friends is a Maori. One of my best friends is a Maori. Gosh, look at her. Look at her. You should barely tell that she is, trust me.

You should see her in February at the end of a long hot summer. You'd be like, she is, trust me. You should see her in February. Oh, my gosh. At the end of a long, hot summer. You'd be like, She a marab. And that is, Jesus. All right, well, it was nice working with you guys. Imagine people just tuning in now. Like, what are they doing? That is today's Sub Sub.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Right now, we want to ask you, what is the worst kiss you've ever had? This has got me thinking about so many bad pashes. Maybe it was your fault. Maybe it was their fault. Maybe it was just a bad mix. Maybe you just went in at the wrong angle and chipped a tooth. Oh, God. Or you gnashed

your teeth. Or you went through a lip. The reason we're, oh, yuck. The reason we're asking this is because Kate Winslet was doing an interview and was obviously always gets brought up Titanic and her long and lovely relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio. And she's like, I remember at the time he was such a heartthrob and everyone wanted to kiss him.

And she said it was not at all what it cut out to be because he had to play like a kind of a lowly worker out in the sun. So he was doing sunbeds and had darker makeup on, like bronzer, and she was playing the English Rose, so she had this like white foundation and as they made out, their foundations would mix and it both on each other's mouth

looked like they'd been sort of munching. Chocolate pud. Yeah, chocolate and vanilla pud, you know, respectively. I never actually thought about that with the makeup thing when filming. I've had it once before. Me and Chris Parker had to do this scene

for Funny Girls one year. And it was when I had this, it was in the middle of this like extreme acne breakout. So I had, it was covered in foundation. And the whole scene was that we were supposed to make out very hungrily. And he kept eating my makeup off. And makeup, each take was like coming in. And is that what made him gay?

And I think that was the moment he was like, no more of this please, I'm done. But anyway, she said it was awful and that they had to keep on kissing and getting makeup wiped and put on that they had like rashes and all sorts. So it wasn't that he's a bad kisser?

No, it wasn't that he's a bad kisser? No, it wasn't that he's a bad kisser. It's just that the kissing experience was terrible. Which at the time, everybody wanted to, like he was the heartthrob of the time. This happens a little bit on Love Island, particularly if people of mixed race make out. Because, and I've seen like wedding videos of say like a black woman and a white man and then they kiss and have a big patch and then her foundation, which is obviously, you know, 10 shades darker than his.

Oh yeah. And he's got like a smear or vice versa. Anyway, that's what we want to know is like, what is the worst kiss you've ever had? It doesn't have to be a makeup smear. No, no, no. It could be anything. It could be going in and get, I don't know, your tooth goes through a lip. Braces.

We all had a braces. Braces. Pash. Or like, I reckon the first time I made out with someone, it was like sucking on an eel. You know how teenagers, they think they know what it's like to pash and then they're like. Or you ended up with pash rash.

The worst. Do you know, like, have you seen those people that get pash rash then they're like la la la la la. You ended up with pash rash? The worst. Do you know like have you seen those people that get pash rash and it gets infected? No. Yeah. Oh I've got to Google

on my search. So if they it's like little abrasions all over and if they've got bacteria and stuff I've seen really like scabby pash rash.

Oh. So what you meant to put some Savlon on? Give it a clean. Oh. I know. Okay don't Google that. Also, one of the first boys I made out with when I was a teenager had a tongue ring.

Oh, and that goes clankety-clankety-clankety-clank on the teeth. Clank-clank-clank on the back of your teeth. Your soft teeth as well. Buttery teeth. Okay, 0800DARLS.M. Give us a call now. You can text through. Have you ever used your tongue to push someone else's tongue out of your mouth

because you need to stop for a little breathe? Jeep is like, back boy. And you just slowly start closing your mouth and the tongue goes... And then you shut your mouth real good. But right now we want to know the worst kiss you've ever had. Because Kate Winslet was saying that making out with Leonardo DiCaprio was pretty gross. But it wasn't because he was a bad kisser.

It was a make-up issue. Her light make-up, his dark make- makeup would mush all over each other's faces. Abby, what was the worst kiss? And I apologise to anybody that's eating breakfast right now. What is the worst kiss you've ever had? It was my flatmate at the time, his younger brother. And we hooked up when he came home one night, a bit drunk. And he threw up in my mouth.

That is so upsetting. Oh, wow. Okay, did that kill the mood? Did that kill the mood? Yeah. He also gave me glandular fever. Oh. Funny you should mention I hadn't thought about glandular fever.

I got some after I ate a brief touch on glandular fever. Oh, there we go. But a bloody glandular fever. I never had it, but that sounds miserable. Was that the reason he was sick or too much booze? Too much booze. Oh, wow. He shouldn't have been drinking on glandular fever.

He should not. It's one of the rules of glandular fever. I'm not going to say no. What did you do in the moment? Yuck, yuck. I kicked him off the face and ran into the bathroom. Did you have any mouthwash? No.

I thought you meant get him to mouthwash and let's get back to it. You're not inviting him back. Game over, right? He's not getting a second chance. No, absolutely not. Abby, thank you. Maddie, what was the worst kiss ever? about this. Game over, right? He's not getting a second chance. No, absolutely not. Abby, thank you. Maddie,

what was the worst kiss ever? So, I'm from Wellington and when I was younger they used to be in called Friday night pools where all the cool kids

would go to the pools on a Friday night and meet up with their friends. Wait, there's a, Maddie, there's a look on Hayley's face

when you said all the cool kids would go and Hayley's like, I didn't even know. Yeah, sorry, I'm from Wellington and on Friday the cool kids did this. I don't think so because on Friday nights that's not what I was doing. It sounds like someone wasn't cool. Wow, okay.

Wow, Hayley, ouch. Sound like that. Interesting. So you'd go to the pools. Yeah, yeah. And pretty much you'd go down the slide and kiss your boyfriend or the person you were talking to. So me and this boy, we walked up the stairs, got ready to go down the slide, hopped in together.

But usually, Friday night falls, you'd get the bit of naughty kiss as well that would slide down the slide, stop themselves and stand up halfway down. Oh, yes. That's against the slide rules. That is. Rule breakers. Yes. So, yeah, me and this boy were on our way down pretty much kissing and

spoke to this person. He then collided his head or knees or something with the guy that I was kissing, and it's safe to say we didn't really finish our kiss and it never happened again. Jeepers. Oh Oh my god. You could lose a tooth. You don't want to be kissing in boardies.

Oh yeah. Tempting face. Get to the pool at the bottom and they're like, you've got to get out of the pool. And you're like, I can't, I can't. I live here now. I just give me a little bit of time thinking about something. Thank you. Jamie, what was the worst kiss? I live here now. I live here now. Just give me a little bit of time thinking about something. Yeah. Margaret Thatcher.

Thank you. Jamie, what was the worst kiss? Hi. Mine wasn't as bad as Abby. But I was that old guy that I don't think he knew how to kiss properly. Because, like, do you know how when you kiss, you just, like, use your lips and your tongue? He would, like, use his teeth and he would scrape my mouth.

Scrape your mouth? What, like he was trying to nibble you or something? I don't know what he was up to, but it was very pleasant and it's kind of like any bit of hash rash. It was a bit wet. A bit wet? You had a wet little nibbler. A wet little nibbler.

A wet little nibbler. Like an nibbler. A little nibbler. Like an eel. He's just doing too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do less. Too much. Jamie, thank you. Some messages.

You're never really taught to kiss, though. No, you're not. Yes, but this is why girls, we make out with each other and we figure it out together. Do you? And then we go out and we explore. Yeah, well, maybe guys need to be hooking up with each other as young men and being like, that feels good, Steve. More of this, my boy.

Terry, you're doing it really well. My dude, I like it when you did that. Less of this. Andrew, what does this look like from your perspective? And Andrew's just in the cup chair and he's like, looking good, lads. Looking good, lads. If I could pass on one piece of feedback, I'd back off the nibbling a little. A little less nibbling.

A little less nibbling. Yeah. After an intense night of making out in the club back in the back of my youth, I thought the kiss was quite a passionate, long, drunk, pash, woke up in the morning full-blown, swollen, purple lips.

Oh, God. From the biting. What? From the biting. Like, hickey lips. Yeah. Full hickey lips. You biting. Like hickey lips. Yeah. Full hickey lips. You're giving me hickey lips.

Few guys, I've had a few guys who've tried to swallow me mouth from nose to chin. Oh, like that, like envelop you. Yeah, like that thing on Aliens. Yeah. The face huggers. And then try to get the tongue in at the same time. Oh, okay. Somebody's feeding a baby bird. Chris Parker, the way huggers, and then try to get the tongue in at the same time. Oh, okay. Somebody said feeding a baby bird.

Chris Parker, the way you described him kissing. No, it wasn't him. It was his character. It was his character. But somebody says, I think this is maybe a Christchurch boy's high technique. I took a drama boy to formal and he basically licked the makeup off my face that I had paid professionals to put on. Oh, yeah.

Of course. The tongue went everywhere but in the mouth. A lot of face tongue. Lights out in the mouth. A lot of face tongue. Lights out in the dark went in for a snog, missed her mouth, got her nostril and managed to lick a booger out of her. My partner and I invited a third for happy fun times.

But he kissed like he had a wooden tongue poking in and out of our mouths like he was playing pool. You know when you're lining up your shot? Yeah. I had a teeth kisser who would basically

scrape my mouth with his teeth and he would kiss really fast. Another weird little nibbler. More nibblers. We've also had another throw up in the mouth situation.

Someone said he'd put his tongue in and I'd push his tongue out and then he'd bite my tongue on the way back out. So I had to then just like go, ah, and slowly pull my tongue out. That's funny. Oh, my God. Somebody else said they were making out and the guy literally made this noise. As the tongue went in and out of my mouth.

What are you making noise for now producer shannon you what did you order yesterday uh for delivery my groceries for the week oh i love I love getting groceries delivered. Yeah, well, I... Well, no, because now I live in an apartment and it's weird to drive to the supermarket but carrying everything back. We had to do one of those top-up shops, like toilet paper, washing powder. It was just one of those days where, like,

I had a free delivery on Milk Run. I was like, let's just order it in. On Milk Run? Yeah. I've never used that. Yeah, so I was like, let's order it in in. On milk run? Yeah. I've never used that. Yeah, so I was like, let's order it in. Anyway, waited and a delivery driver shows up. He was about

my age, like mid-twenties. Quite an attractive guy, I can say objectively. I'm just writing some descriptors just so we can paint a picture. Scruffy beard, but like well-maintained. Short hair. Freckles, like tan. Quite muscly. He was quite an attractive guy. You women

listen to all of these audio books and now everything in life is a... And then what? Then was he like, oh, I'm so sorry, I need to use the toilet. And you're like, oh my god, please come inside. Well, so he gets out of his car to open the boot to get the groceries out. So he gets fully out of the car so I can see him. And he's wearing

a normal black t-shirt, quite fitted. Hot. And then white linen flowy pants. So linen based. What is he, Richard Branson on an island? Yeah, or is he fresh from Capoeira? I don't know

but they were so see-through that I could see the word jockey on his black underwear. Oh no, you don't wet! He's wearing see-through pants. Now you know he's single though. You know he's single because a woman would never let a boyfriend But they were like long jockeys you know what I mean? Like a Mormon

style. Yeah. And they were black. And I could see the waistband so clearly that I could see the word. Jockey, jockey, jockey, jockey, jockey. And because my partner was with me he was helping me carry up these groceries. And I could tell, you know, when you just look at your partner and you're both like, are you seeing his underwear?

His entire underwear. You never wear black undies with white linen pants. And he had to bend over into the boot to reach the stuff. So you had to look. It was just so overwhelming. And he was just wearing little like jandals as well. I just didn't get this guy to like. It has that too. Yeah. And he was just wearing little like jandals as well.

I just didn't get this guy to like. It is. It's winter. Winter time. I know. And he was wearing over ear headphones while driving as well. I can't understand his vibe. Question.

Because women, we provided many an option for a flesh coloured undie. True. But men, do you have a skin coloured grunt? We don't. For a light pant? I've never seen a men's. It sort of doesn't make sense because, yeah, if you're wearing a, you've got worn a lovely linen suit.

Okay, so. Cream linen suit. I've Googled. Yeah, wear a black G-string under it. Yeah, that's right, you do. I've Googled, you can find them, Calvin Klein do a skin colour, kind of.

Skin coloured undies. All of the shopping is overseas. How interesting. You're not buying underwear from T-Mail, are you? I feel kind of bad now, I've just ripped out this guy and he had no other option. No, maybe he could probably have worn white.

Or white, yeah. But yeah, lots of my undies are just pale skin colours. But also, what if this guy got caught in one of those Auckland downpours that last 10 minutes and all of a sudden it soaks? To be fair, it wouldn't have looked much different if they were wet. They were so see-through. It was insane. You know when pants are so see-through you can see the pocket

lining? Yes, yes, yes. Not what I thought you were going to say you could see. Oh, kind of. No, no, no. Pocket, pocket, pocket. So it was like two white panels on the front. Yes. Full, long black underwear giving Mormon a little bit. Also just a strange

slack choice for a food delivery driver. Any wang? Let's cut to the chase. Any wangs present? I'm not going to lie. I see a big old wang. I didn't linger because I was with my partner

and I was just quite overwhelmed by the whole situation. You have to let it linger. You have to. You have to. As a male, I'm just going to say I feel like Shannon's lucky he didn't have holes in his undies because every pair of undies I own has a big hole in it. Yeah, my undie's gone a bit holey recently.

You've got a lot of undies. Yeah. Just burning through them. Is it your acidic? I think it's my acidic. P.H., you've been out of whack there. I think I may be a bit out of whack. Burning through them.

I've got some too acidic. Yeah, I reckon. Maybe some baking soda down there. I've just noticed recently there's more holes in my undies. Maybe it's time to buy some new ones. Yeah, could be.

Could be. I'll get some nice flesh colored undies. Bite the bullet and have a baking soda bath. Yeah, well I'll have to sweat. Be like one of those volcanoes. Oh yeah, I'll sit down

and it'll be like, school. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Now you mentioned yesterday, Vaughan, that people were looking for new jobs at the moment. People are, it's just that time of the year that a lot of people are going, I don't want to change.

I just want a little change. And apparently, here's a way to get some attention. Okay. With your CV. Because I don't have a CV. I've got an acting CV. Pretty dry. Pretty dry.

How many... That's what you... When did you last update your sizzle reel there, Ron? Oh, shoot. It's been ages, actually. I could get my... Go and get the sizzle reel. Because actors, they have a sizzle reel,

and that's all their clips Isn't it Of them and stuff Like movies and TV shows When they're sizzling When they're sizzling But do people even do CVs now I thought everyone just said Here's my LinkedIn

LinkedIn yeah I have never like I reckon I'm being hacked By LinkedIn by the way Why At the moment Because every day I get an email saying

Like this person's connected With you on LinkedIn LinkedIn LinkedIn LinkedIn I've never used LinkedIn I've got a profile, I think. And then I click on it and go unsubscribe, unsubscribe, unsubscribe. And then every day it's just a new email from someone else. It keeps giving you more LinkedIn.

Yeah. I've made the mistake of, as a joke, on LinkedIn put, I'm hiring. Why'd you do that? I'm getting so much international interest for all of my LinkedIn schemes because my LinkedIn's just full of schemes. It's a joke. You use LinkedIn as a comedy vehicle. Every now and then I'll just say I've started a new business.

Yeah. Some very successful businesses. Here's my CV currently, Hayley Sprout, actor. 178 centimetres. No, I've shortened myself a centimetre there. It makes me more approachable as a leading lady. Oh, does it? Okay. Yeah, there's a photo of me, honestly, 20 kgs ago and about five hair colours ago.

Awesome. What are you doing? What does that look? What does that look? That's McLeod's daughters, we call it. That is the McLeod's daughters. Yeah. Chuck a cowboy hand, some RMs on a Coober and a SMRM.

That's McLeod's daughters. Now, that's Shorten Street. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's my Shorten Street. But it's not smiling. No, no, no. It's smising, isn't it? That's smiling. Oh, that's beautiful. Street. Oh, wow. Can you see my Shorten Street? But it's not smiling. No, no, no. It's smizing, isn't it?

That's smiling. Oh, that's beautiful. Doesn't she look lovely? Yeah. I'd give you four camels for that. Thank you. Now, we've got... Just smile a bit more, love.

Okay. Did you just say give us a smile? Yeah, give us a smile, love. You're much prettier when you smile. Okay, I'll do that more. Why are you looking so sad over there? Skills include alto, so singing voice, comedian, composer, cycling.

What? What? Cycling. Cycling. Cycling. Full licence horse riding. Bullshit. MC, piano singer, swimming.

Is that just in case Lord of the Rings, the second, what are they doing soon for Lord of the Rings? Some more Lord of the Rings. Yeah, more Lord of the Rings. They love horse riding, they doing soon for Lord of the Rings? Some more Lord of the Rings. Yeah, more Lord of the Rings. They love horse riding, so keep that in there. So that's on there. MC, piano, singer, swimming, theatre, sports, xylophone, accents, American. Now, we heard that yesterday.

That's flawless. Australian, British, Cockney, French, New York, RP, and South American. Wow. Okay. Anyway, so I'm just reading it. What's RP? Like royal pronunciation. Oh, like proper. Yes reading it. What's RP? Like royal pronunciation. Oh, like proper.

Yes, darling. Like Remy Witter, darling. Like Remy Witter, darling. Anyway, if you've got a normal CV, not a silly acting CV, where we all say horse riding because we live in New Zealand, apparently they're saying now the number one tip that you should do is include, when you send your CV, a video introduction of yourself. Oh, no, no.

Hi there. My name's Hayley Sproul. I'm really looking forward to meeting you. Riding your horses. It's not expected, but it gives you a chance to really stand out from the crowd. I think if you, this is the kind of thing a hot person would do.

You know, like hot people always put a photo of themselves. Yeah. You've got to see me. They know they're hot and it's going to get a foot in the door. Yeah. But if you're a minger, like, you're not sending a video

because they're going to be like, oh, look at this person. Yeah, they're like, we don't want that in the office. Yeah, I know. I don't want it. I'm not sending a video of myself.

No way. Oh, I don't want to have that working in front of me. No. Yeah, no. Oh, yuck. No. And this recruitment expert

says that more and more people should just harness the power of AI. What does that mean? For their cover letters. Oh, right. So like, hey AI, write me a cover letter expressing that I'm, you know, a funny personable person. But is it going to sound?

It's so obvious. It's so obvious. Yeah. Make an effort. Well, I think the video is good because then you go, then it's so obvious. It's so obvious. Yeah. Make an effort. Well, I think the video is good because then you go, then it's genuinely you. What would you say? What's the top three things you'd say in your video?

Well, see, I'm not good at this. I'd be like, hi, hi, everyone. With that beautiful smile you just saw. Hi, everyone. My name's Hayley Sprower. I look forward to meeting you and the opportunity to work with you. I'm a real people person. I'm really great at

problem solving and I definitely won't take advantage or I won't abuse the privilege of the bar card on Friday because I know when's enough. You really over solved that. When you mentioned

the bar card, you heard about the bar card. I'm really social but not in a problematic way. Doubling down on it is defensive without me even asking. I'll get the work done, and hey, if that's all done on a Thursday, why not? Let's get buck wild. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Well, I saw this pop up on an Australian news website yesterday.

The surprising $10 Kmart item Aussies love. Oh, I love when people do this. Now, I've checked. It's $15 in New Zealand. All right. So we pay a little bit more. But this is something I talked about, and you guys will remember me talking about this

because I've had it on flights when we've gone away this year for work. It is a little thing that you clip. It's what they call the universal in-flight phone mount. Oh, I remember you getting these. You and lovely big hearted James got them. And so you click them to the tray table and then it holds your phone. So you don't have to hold your phone.

I reckon you got this for your holiday this time last year. I think you were like a year in advance. Yeah, because do you know what? On Teemu, and I know Teemu's bad for the planet, and aren't we meant to just stop buying crap? We should stop buying crap. But anywhere between $3 and $5. Yeah.

Or $15 at Kmart. And I'll tell you what, I've been using it so much, it is amazing because it folds up to something that fits in the palm of your hand. But so when you're on a long haul flight, or you do it a bit short haul as well, but you put that in there and you'll be able to watch what your downloaded Netflixes and Neons and all that. And so you don't have to hold your

phone and it's right in front of you at eye level because it clips into either the tray table or some seats have a little compartment at the back of them. It. You can clip in that. But what about when old dickhead in front goes? Does it tilt? You can just tilt the screen back up

because it's got this arm that can be in any position. It is amazing. And now we've run online, it's so cool. I was like, I told you about that months ago. Yeah, but if I remember correctly, there's from, what's his name, with the tipping point? What?

What? What's his name with the tipping point? The tipping point. Malcolm Gladwell. Yes, yes, yes. Who wrote the book The Tipping Point. Oh, I was thinking about the TV show where they put the things in. The coins down the slot. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you dummies. What about, yep. But doesn't he talks about mavens and different sorts of people and there are the people that are onto these trends early but they don't have the push. Oh, you're saying that I don't have the influence. I'm not an influencer.

Because I'm just on his social media now. 40,000 followers, not bad. Is it a maven that's got the taste, the head of the crowd but then you need the next person to push it to everybody? Also, you've done six posts in the last 18 months. Yeah, I don't post. I don't post. They're all pretty shit.

They're all pretty good. They're great posts. They're quality posts. Great travel pics. Yeah. But you've done two this year. Whereas you'll just post a picture of your coloured wall. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man, I'll just do anything. I'm thinking about doing something today. I'll do something right now. Okay, yeah, right, nice. But, yeah, I don't know. These are great. I just feel like I've been passed over. Catch up, world.

I was pre-influencer. Maybe I'm a pre-influencer. Yeah. I'm not an influencer. Okay, so this is Malcolm Gladwell's book from the year 2000, The Tipping Point. Connectors are people in the community who know large numbers of people who are in the habit of making introductions.

Yeah. Mavens, you're a maven. Information specialist. People we rely on to connect us with new information. Okay. And salesmen, they're the persuaders, the charismatic people with powerful negotiation skills. So I just kind of put it out there for the people to...

You're a maven. Yeah, right. We need to be listening to more of this. Thank you. Wow. You should be. I've been saying that all along. I listen to you every morning.

Thank you. Stop eating. Put that food down. Get your hand off the mic. Give us a smile, love. Give us a smile. Turn around and let me see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle it. Let me get a handful of that cake. Yeah, yeah. Snacks, snacks, love. Give us a smile. Turn around and let me see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wiggle it, wiggle it, wiggle it. Let me get a handful of that cake. Yeah. Snacks, snacks, snacks. Okay, these are lies. These are lies. Go get me a coffee. Yeah.

All that. I listen to you. What are you talking about? Every decision I make is influenced by you. Thank you. Put on some mascara, love. And he says, have children. Tick tock, tick tock.

What's that I hear is that your ovary's crumbling to dust. Tick tock, Sproul. Get a mascara line. And he says have children. Tick tock. What's better here is that your ovary's crumbling to dust. Tick tock, Sproul. Get on with it. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly. Play ZM. Now, lions. What was that? I think you'll find, dipshit.

That was a lion. That was a lion. Well, lions are pretty cool. They are cool. They are pretty cool. And a three-le a lion. That was a lion. Well, lions are pretty cool. They are cool. They are pretty cool. And a three-legged lion. Don't know how he lost his leg. Probably a landmine.

See how a lot of them go. Is he in the wild? Was it blown off or was it amputated? Yep. Well, he's in the wild. Yeah, it'll be a landmine then. It's not been amputated. Is it not cleanly amputated, just blown off.

Well, I don't know if it was blown off. Well, more information, please. Well, I know that maybe a crocodile got it. Okay. Because this lion, this three-legged lion, Jacob. Okay. Stupid. Wait, it's in the wild and it's got a name.

It's in Uganda. Yeah, well, they've all kind of... Well, they tag him. We know its name, but we don't know how he lost his leg. See, Jacob, terrible name for a lion. His brother, Tibu. Yep. Great name for a lion.

Great name for a lion. Tibu. Yep. T-I-B-U. Yep. Tibu. Jacob. Not for a lion. They swam 1.6 kilometres across a river

that they estimate is one of the most heavily populated crocodile rivers in Uganda. And he did this with three legs. He did it with three legs. Oh, my goodness. Could do anything if you put your mind to it. Is that how you can smell? Ladies.

Lady lions. Ladies. So lions. Ladies. So they took on a croc-infested water just to make the ladies. Get down, get down. Okay. Yep. That's the wild, isn't it? That's the call of the wild.

That's pretty hot, man. That's the call of the wild. It was on heat, obviously. Old tripod. Yeah. Tripod's like. And yeah,ims 1.6 1.6 kilometres

That's far Hell of an effort To get some Hell of an effort Yeah Send this lion To the Paralympics Get him in the swimmer

Yeah I don't know what His number and letter would be I don't know if they Just stick to the line They might start eating The other people Yeah I wouldn't want

To swim next to it I wouldn't want to be In the lane next to him Absolutely Heard him for it But this lion Overcame the odds Yeah the people. Yeah, I wouldn't want to swim next to it. I wouldn't want to be in the lane next to him. Absolutely, honing for it. But this lion overcame the odds. Long odds. He swam 1.6 kilometres and he only got three legs. And it was

a crocodile infested river. Just to meet the ladies. For the ladies. What we want to talk about is what did you overcome for some action? Okay, right. Let's go to producer Jared. Who has a famous What we want to talk about is what did you overcome for some action? Okay, right. Let's go to producer Jared.

Oh. Who has a famous, in the show, famous story. I don't know if we've ever told this story on air. It may have popped out in a podcast. Did we tell this story on air before? Yeah, a few years ago. I told this to my lucky undies. I don't know if that rings a bell. It's a refresher.

It's a refresher. For those that missed that story, tell us what happened. A few years ago, I had had a big night out. I'd gone out for curry, spent the whole night into clubs, then rolled out of bed and went to work. This is in your single days. In my single days. During my shift at work, I pooed my pants.

Do they not have a toilet at work? I trusted a fart. Oh, I yeah yeah not after a night of curry curry and clubs my brother it was rough it was messy it was um so i had a shower at work uh threw my undies in the bin, cleaned myself up, sorted it out. Went on with my day, got a message on Tinder from a lady. Hey-o. Who was like, hey, what are you doing tonight? Come round after work for some hanky-panky. Oh, yeah.

There's a lion on the other side of the river situation. There's the female lion. But your boy doesn't have any undies on, doesn't want to rock up wearing jeans and go in commando because that's uncomfortable. Yeah, of course. And a weird look. And also just like, well, what's happening here? Where are your undies? Yeah.

Because you can't just go straight from jeans to no undies. No. You've got to take off the jeans and then have undies on for a little bit. Yes. Especially on the first date. Yeah. DH. You've got to have a bit of a DH. What's that?

Drainer. Yeah, right. Okay, carry on. So I finish work at like nine o'clock at night. So like a lot of places aren't open to buy underpants. Yeah. So I'm walking to my bus. This is before the day the 24-hour came out.

Oh, yeah. So I'm walking to my bus stop. What's right next the 24-hour came out. Oh, yeah. So I'm walking to my bus stop. What's right next to the bus stop is a New Zealand souvenir shop. Oh, okay. So I go in and purchase some $10 New Zealand flag underpants. Oh, no. And let's just say someone saluted later that night. No!

Hey, you're all right. Yeah, I'm all right. Wow, $10 for some New Zealand undies. Oh, not great quality Not the most Oh yeah But a Yeah

A lot of stretch You would have come across As one of those South Africans That moves here That makes a real effort Yeah yeah yeah To be like I'll support the all black snail

Yeah right Get a sleeve tattoo Yeah Some designs Oh god But that was Jared Overcoming the odds Overcoming the odds

For a date Overcoming the fact That earlier that day he capped his pants And this is what we wanted to talk about What is your story that is similar to this?

When did you overcome a horrible day or a horrible event Yeah Because at the end of it you knew God The good Lord himself

kept throwing obstacles in the way Don't sin Don't sin You're catapulting You're jumping over them. You're like, nothing's going on.

There's a thunderstorm. There's a traffic jam. Your car's broken down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've broken your leg. A plague of locusts. And you were just like, nah.

What was your crocodile-infested river that you overcame just to get to the other side to go on a date or to get some action? A couple of great, top-tier texts. Okay. A lion called

Jacob, who has three legs, who apparently I should be saying, Yachob. Oh, okay. Full Hebrew pronunciation there. Yachob. Oh, probably. And his brother Tebu swam 1.6 kilometres across a river. Now, I said it was a heavily infested river with crocodiles.

Yeah. Now, there's a number here, and I was like, I don't trust that. I've googled it. It turns river with crocodiles. Yeah. Now there's a number here and I was like, I don't trust that. I've Googled it. It turns five million crocodiles live in this river. What? I didn't even know there were five million crocodiles. Five million crocodiles. Yeah.

Now there's five million crocodiles in this river alone. That's too many crocodiles. I say we need a cull. Yeah. Croccy cull. I think we need a croccy cull. Go a handbag. Handbags, I was going to say. Boots. Go a handbag a crocky cull. Go handbags, boots.

Go a handbag. Mike Hoskins probably drew another pair of croc boots. He loves a crocodile. Famously love wearing animals. So the male lions outnumber females two to one at this national park because farmers in the nearby farms were poisoning the lionesses because they're the ones that do the hunting and they were taking their cattle. So it's a real sausage fest.

So lazy men. It's a sausage fest. Lazy men lions are like, go on, you go get the food. No, I'm playing PlayStation. Longest ever recorded swim undertaken by lions. And one of them's got three legs. And it was through a crocodile infested one. And it was all to get to the ladies on the other side.

They did it all for the nookie. What? The nookies. What? The nookies. What? So you can take the cookie. 0800 DALS at M. You can text through 9696. Somebody messaged, when I was 20 years old,

I biked two Ks out of town in the pitch black, no lights, dodging all the speeding cars on the highway for a little bit of nookie. What? Don't say nookie. I will see you and I will raise you another text. I once biked 76 kilometres on a single-geared Charles BMX. I left Booth and I got there at 7am.

It took me nine hours. I subbed up quite a bit on that bike ride. And needless to say, when I got there, she was asleep. That is very dangerous. Nine-hour bike ride. I spent my last $27 on the Uber to their place. Full well know I'm going to have a 20 kilometre walk home and I'll be on noodles for the next week.

Oh, but you did it anyway. But you did it. Wait, so you're going all the way there. In a Uber. A $30 Uber, so I'm thinking. Hurry, hurry, hurry. That's quite far away. Yeah, 20 kilometres they said.

Get some and then no way to get home. Yeah, they've got to walk home. Surely she, he, they. Stay the night and then no way to get home. Yeah, they've got to walk home. Surely she, he, they. Stay the night. Someone could give you a lift. Yeah. You stay in the night. You stay in the night.

But in the morning, surely someone's giving you a lift home. Noodles for the next week. Every time you sleep in those delicious noodles, you've got to be thinking. Yeah. It was noodles. Noodles for canoodles.

Yeah. Noodles for canoodles. Yeah. Switched. Suffered through a very dirty club bathroom. But he was hot. Oh, no. We can't be doing it in the club bathrooms, guys.

Please behave. That's how we get staff infections. I'm trying to wash my hands. Okay. Oh, Cyclone Gabriel battled the floods to drive 30 minutes. Now, we were told to stay indoors. We were told not to do that. We were told to stay indoors and keep off the roads.

And not clog the roads. Not go for a 30-minute drive for some fun times. Although it's kind of romantic when the winds, you know, you hear the rain on the roof and the wind. Water's battering up. And then when you get there, you boot the door open and you're like, you won't believe the journey I've been on. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's insane. It's almost a bit piratey, eh? It's a little bit hot. Yeah, that's kind of, yeah, a little bit hot. I had a friend that ran 10 kilometres in the middle of the night to go meet up with this girl and get it done in their parents' garage. Just a little 10K. It was a bit of a laugh.

He had previously been kicked out of biology and didn't know where. Well, I'm not going to finish that. Okay, yeah. He's off to learn. And here I was thinking, this is another text, and here I was thinking that me and my ex walking three hours every other week to sneak into each other's houses was some effort. But look at these people going all over the place.

Three hours? Three hour walk. That's a long walk. Get a push scooter or something. Six kilometers, 18 kilometers. Get a push scooter. You get some rollerblades for God's sake. Oh, no, but if it sounds rural to me, rural roads don't like rollerblades.

Or get a hot air balloon. Get a bush bike. Get a blimp. Get a blimp. Get yourself a blimp. Come on. Your dad's like, I'm going to start up the barbecue. Where's the bloody gas bottle?

See you later, Dad. Oh, God. I didn't want my friends to see me leave the house To go next door I jumped out the bathroom window Tiny and up high Fell into the bushes and thorns It was a very pokey night Just sneak out the front door next time

Yeah yeah yeah Oh I skated 20 minutes To her house Rocked up and had to ask for a placer Because I'd fallen over And scuffed my knee I've got a boo boo Oh that's cute

Some things people have done For a little bit of action. Jeepers creepers. Did you see? No, you can go ahead, please. Someone of similar danger as the lion. Did you read this? I was in high school. Walked and hitchhiked.

No. Walked and hitchhiked across Johannesburg to the border of one of the most dangerous neighbourhoods in the world to get some and home again. What? District 9. They went to District 9. The prawns were there.

I remember being bit by the prawns. Remember me, Mr. Sweety Man. I worked from 2pm to midnight shift and then drove four hours to pick her up and four hours back to my place. Then jumped straight into bed at 8 a.m. for the rest of the day. Oh, that's awesome.

Drove her back the day after that day and that was my birthday. Oh my God. That's hot. That's hot. Somebody said that they were diagnosed with a virus and they said it's going to take you four weeks to clear that out of your body.

But I knew someone was coming to town in two weeks. So I tried real hard and then got a test and guess what? I processed a four-week virus in two weeks. I tried real hard. Here I am, get out of me virus! Ate all the leafy greens and all the vitamins. He ate nothing but spinach.

I should become a beacon of health. I love it. A beacon. Used to sneak out of my window and walk up my 1.5 kilometre driveway. It's a long drive. Get it again, get it blown. See, the dad in me is immediately thinking, how often is that going to need remittling?

Yeah. Well, she's scuffing up and down there. I walked up my 1.5 kilometre driveway in the pitch black to get picked up for fun times. I was terrified my dad would hear the car if they came all the way down the drive, so I'd sneak up. I drove from Christchurch to Dunedin

for a little bit of last minute nookie. Wow, okay. I also very much welcome little bit of last minute nookie. Wow. Okay. I also very much welcome the reuse of the word nookie. No, no. That's yuck. Little bit of nookie? Little fancy little nookie?

No. Little afternoon nookie? Let's not do that. Nookie? Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. This week here at Fact of the Day, it's Space Week.

Influenced, I'd say, by a recent trip I undertook. Find out more soon. To space? Not to space, unfortunately. Did you say find out more soon? Find out more soon. I said, stay tuned. You've got me, man. Today's Fact of the Day.

This pickled my little brain. Blew my mind. Okay. The moon is not spherical. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Next fact. Yes, it is.

I've seen it. Well, it's not a rugby ball, is it? It is a rugby ball. He's going to sit here and tell us the moon's a triangle. I don't pay me for a fool. The moon is technically known as an oblate spheroid. Oh, okay. I'm here holding.

This is very, actually very timely. I'm okay. I'm here holding... This is very, actually, very timely. I'm here. I'm holding a little miniature basketball. Yeah. I'm squeezing it from top and bottom. That's an oblate spheroid. It's not like that. No, don't be silly.

The moon's not like that. We wouldn't be able to see it. The moon is egg-shaped. Some describe it as lemon-shaped, but it's more of a squatty egg than it is an actual egg. But the problem is, the reason when we look and we see it's spherical, you imagine you're holding an egg upright like it sits in the tray,

and you're like, that's egg-shaped. Now turn it on its end so you can only see it from the end. That looks round, doesn't it? Oh, yeah, it does. Because you're only getting around the sort of circumference of the middle. You're only seeing it from the angle you're seeing And the end that points towards the earth is a little fatter Oh yeah

You know how the egg has a skinny end and a rounder end So we're looking Tape a tip But how egg shaped is it? Because it can't be that A little bit It's not huge but it certainly isn't spherical So it's not shaped like an egg

It's thought because when it first formed and it was like just under this big ball of liquid molten goo and the gravity of the earth pulled it a little bit out of shape because we've got the fatter end facing us. Like a vacuum. Yeah, I've Googled it and NASA's saying the same thing as Vaughan. I'll Google it. I hope you just didn't think I plucked this from just my own thoughts and prayers.

I didn't know if you were getting it from space authorities. I didn't know if you were getting it from your communities and message boards and Facebook groups that you get a lot of your information from. In perfect sphere they say. Yeah, in perfect sphere. Yeah. But I can't see like in... And you know

also it's 25% the size of Earth. Yeah. Like you could fit four moons across our equator. Yeah. At its equator. Some astronomers believe that that makes it close enough to our size. We could be considered a double planet rather than a planet with a satellite. Moon. An orbiting satellite.

Okay. Should we be moving to the moon? Sort of feels better than Mars. I'm in no great hurry to move to the moon. No, neither. Not until this. I hope Should we be moving to the moon? Sort of feels better than Mars. I'm in no great hurry to move to the moon. No, neither. I hope they'll be gone by then. Not until there's good Wi-Fi. So surely Starlink will be even better up there.

No, because the satellites are pointing towards Earth. And they're way closer to Earth than they are the moon. Are they? Yeah. I sort of imagine they were in space. Yeah. Like right out there. Right out they are the moon. Are they? Yeah. I sort of imagined they were in space. Yeah. Like right out there. Right out there

near the moon. Like you could be on Mars and just pick up two bars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes two bars is all you need. Yeah, it's all you need. Oh, it depends.

If I'm sending a video, I'd prefer more bars. Oh, four bars. I'll send a picture. Yeah. That'd be fine. Yeah, absolutely. The quality may be lower.

I recently bought a new couple of outlets to mesh my Wi-Fi. Beautiful. They've done a fantastic job. Maybe we just need one of outlets to mesh my Wi-Fi. Beautiful. They've done a fantastic job. Maybe we just need one of those. Or the International Space Station. Just to mesh it back.

Mesh it back. We can hook into your account because I'm on unlimited. By all means, please. I need to get another account. Unlimited. That'd be great. So today's fact of the day is that the moon is not spherical. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

I went to an appointment yesterday afternoon and I had to head out to South Auckland and I parked and I went in and this is my first time at this particular place where I was going. So I went up to the counter and I said, hello, Hayley Sprave, an appointment. And I said the time.

And it was crazy. She wasn't like, oh my God, I already know who you are. I'm such a huge fan. It was wild. She didn't say anything like that. Wow. Yeah. I was like looking at her.

No. Have you not seen Bake Off? Have you not seen it? Anyway, she was like, oh, this is your first time at this clinic. And she said, so I need you to fill out a form. And I was like, oh, all good. Gave me the little clipboard with the form and was like, take a seat. Okay.

And fill this out. So I turn around and there's like an entranceway and there's three seats. Yep. And one seat is another woman. She's sitting there as she is wont to do. Yeah. Then there's two seats and there's a woman standing in front of those two seats. Yeah.

And sprawled over the two seats was a child who was just sort of laying on these seats. Taking up two positions. Taking up two positions. Taking up two seats. So I sort of turned around and was like, there's no seats. So then I had to, so that this child, I think maybe three years old, four years old, so that she could sprawl, you know,

and play around on these seats, I sort of had to awkwardly stand in the entranceway, like the hallway. Filling a form. Filling a form awkwardly, really. I mean, I was making a scene out of it as well to let her know what an inconvenience this was to me, to be standing. And then I was like filling out this form,

like clearly just sort of narrowed into a hallway. Yeah. When there's clearly two seats just sitting right there. You should have absolutely just gone over to the seat instead of backing up towards it going, beep, beep, beep. No, but the mum was in the way. Scooch.

I'd say, scooch across. I want to sit down and do this. Scooch across, darling. But the mum that was standing and the daughter could have both taken those seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which would have been fine. But the mum was standing. But then they said, oh, and they called a name,

and the mum went in. And I was like, well, here you go. They're going to go in and the mum said you can stay here sort of turned, looked at me so I was like you acknowledge there's another person here and I'm standing here and then went into her appointment while the kids stayed out. Well that was your perfect

chance to yell at the kids. Sprawled on two seats. What was the kid doing? iPad, phone? No just lying here like this. I sent a photo to the group Sorry my middle finger's blocking that one. You want to be careful taking photos of other people's kids in public. No, I just sort of was like, just look at this BS. Just sort of lolling about.

She's literally just in the ultimate state of relaxation. Well, why don't you say something? It's not like you to not say something. No, I know, I know. I know, I know. I sat there like a spear You were seething. Like a spear thumb. Yeah.

Seething, crammed in this hallway. There's a ludicrous song that I would have... There's a ludicrous song for almost every situation. Are you about to quote a ludicrous song? I'm about to... Get back. Move, bitch. Get out the way.

Get out the way. No, I didn't sing a song. I just thought, oh, my God, the audacity. You know? The sheer audacity. What kind of... I don't want to pry. What kind of appointment was it that the mum

isn't taking the kid into the room with her? A beauty appointment. I think she was addressing her downstairs area. Right. Yeah, you don't want to give your kid... You don't want a kid to see that. That's trauma. Well, I hate to break it to you, the kid came out of it. Yeah, I know, but she won't remember. Whereas this kid was old enough to remember. Remember seeing

the downstairs. Yeah. Why didn't you just say move? I know, I Why didn't you just say move? I know. I just didn't. Brat. Yeah. Get out of my way. From one brat to another.

I'm surprised there wasn't some sort of. It was like a brat off, wasn't it? Really? And you would have been like, get up. Stand up. When you're with your kid and there's not enough seats, you're always like, mine are a bit old now, but you'd always like sit them on your knee.

Yeah, yeah. Nope. I was crammed in a hallway. Just another form of contraception for odd Sproul. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly.

That silly little poe. Silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Well, well, well. Yesterday, a caller, we talked about what you were arguing with your partner about currently and a caller said whether or not the name Neil is one syllable or two and we were like, we like this a lot, it's a little poll time.

It is. So just over 7,000 votes were cast since we put this up last night and there is one clear winner, but it's quite heated. Oh, yeah. 66% of people said one syllable. 34% of people said two syllables. Okay, I'm team one syllable. Vaughn?

I'm more towards team two syllables. Really? Because the tongue touches the roof of your mouth twice. Kneel. Kneel. No, see, kneel. Kneel. Yeah, you're doing two.

Okay. Let's go smooth. Whereas some people have said that if you're kneeling, like to kneel. Kneel. That's more one syllable than it is the name kneel. Am I saying the name or the on my knees? We'll play mince mince. Mince mince.

This is like mince mince. Okay. Kneel. On your knees. No, I said the name. Okay. So I think that argument is just redundant. It's the same.

It's the same. It's like saying that we say here and here different. We don't. We don't. Mince. Mince. No. No.

Here. No. I think it's two because the yill of Neil is the second bit. Okay, this is what our first replier says. Emma, I would say one, but the Aussies here in Perth would say two. We've had a similar argument at work over the name Tim. Tim? Because me and my fellow Kiwi say Tim.

And they say Tim. But see, that's just a long one syllable, isn't it? It's a diphthong, learning that at drama school. When you go like, ah-oh, and you join two things together. It's a what? A diphthong. a what? It's a diphthong. Let me hear that.

Dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. So Tim is different. Tim, Ross, Brett. That's one. You're not talking about Brett. I'm not talking about Brett. I just want to play a little bit. Michelle said one because

Google and Siri said so. She's consulted the AI there. Neil Haxes I'll play a little bit Michelle said one because Google and Siri said so so she's consulted the AI there Google says both things Christine says because I count my syllable claps

I only clap once Neil Neil Neil Neil no Hayley and say it's one

Hayley no that's one I'm kidding also somebody said if you put like if you rest your fingers under your jaw.

Yeah. Kneel. Kneel. And then say like a two syllable, like Vaughn. Vaughn. No way. Wait, wait, wait. Vaughn's one syllable.

Vaughn. You don't say Vaughn-er. Vaughn-er. Hayley. Hayley. So if I go Hayley, I can feel my hand go down twice. Fletcher. Whereas if I say kneel, it's just one.

Yeah, but your jaw doesn't always drop on new words. But it's like a new word. It's diphthong. Diphthong. It's just one. Yeah, but your jaw doesn't always drop on new words. It's diphthong. Diphthong. It's a diphthong. Lottie says, your mouth shape changes midway through,

so surely it's got to be two. Neil. Neil. Having a crisis over this and the name no longer makes sense. It's absolutely baffled the fiance too.

This is great. It's topsy-turvy in every household. I love this. Teacher here. Oh, here we go. Good morning, Mrs. Williamson!

The number of syllables in a word is determined by the number of vowel sounds. In Neil, the E is making a long E sound and the I is making an I sound as an insect. Two vowel sounds, so two syllables. Yeah, see, that's right, because the vowel changes. But didn't we also hear

from teachers that said the opposite? Maybe they need to go back to training. They were art teachers. Oh, see, that's right, because the vowel changes. But didn't we also hear from teachers that said the opposite? Maybe they need to go back to training. They were art teachers. Oh, okay. And PE teachers. Right. The thickos. The thickos.

Boy. Heard from a couple of ag teachers, too. They got the fun job, because they get to drive around the school's little tractor. Caroline says, my husband and I have had the same debate with the name Miles. Miles. No, that's definitely two. Miles. Miles. Miles. But have had the same debate with the name Miles. Miles. No, that's definitely two. Miles. Miles.

Miles. But it is the same. Miles. I said Miles. Because of the I and the E. But if you were posh and you were talking to posh, you said Miles. Miles.

Hello, Miles. Hello, Miles. Hello, Neil. Hello, Neil and Miles. Neil. Well, if it isn't our favourite couple, Neil and Miles. Neil. Miles. There. Miles.

There is only one syllable in Neil, just like there's only one syllable in rock, because your head is full of them. No, you're wrong. Rocks. You're wrong, I'm sorry. There's like two syllables. The chin method is what I teach in my class when they're not sure.

You put your hand under your chin, you say the word, and how many times your chin touched your hand is the number of syllables. Neil. Neil. Neil. That's the la. That's it. Say the word and how many times your chin touched your hand is the number of syllables. Kneel. Kneel. Kneel. La, la, la, la, la. That's a la.

That's it. B says every syllable has a vowel, exception when it's a Y. Explain to me the word rhythm. It's got a Y. That's an exception though, isn't it? No, there's no. Y is often the exception to the rule. 1.5 vowels, says Charlotte. You know what?

I think I'm happy. Actually, 1.5 syllables. Yeah. 1.5 syllables. says Charlotte. You know what? I think I'm happy with 1.5 vowels. Actually, 1.5 syllables. Yeah. 1.5 syllables. But it's nearly there, isn't it? It's nearly there. Good from you.

Classic. Classic. So we haven't really decided. I know that the number says we've decided that it's one. The vast majority of people. But I think through

this robust debate that followed, I think we've all opened up our mind. To 1.5. To 1.5. 1.5 syllables. You heard it here first. We're now introducing a.5 of a syllable. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Carl. No, you would never call you Carl. Carl. Oh, you're almost to 1.5, Carl. When I go to America, I have to pronounce my name Carl. Carl. You're almost a 1.5, Carl. When I go to America, I have to pronounce my name Carl. Yeah, because Carl you'd say is 1, but Carl you'd say is

1.5. You're saying Carl Reef now. Carl. Fletch. Carl. Carl Reef. Is Fletch 1 or 2? Fletch. Fletch. Yeah, 1. No, because you're not saying Fletch. It's 1.2. It's 1.5, isn't it? Fletch. No, it's not 1.5. It's just 1.3. Okay, now everyone's losing their minds. What's wheel? Wheel. I don't know. It's too much. Wheel. 1.2. It's 1.5, isn't it? It's not 1.5. It's just 1.3. Okay, now everyone's losing their minds. What's wheel?

Wheel. I don't know. It's too much. Wheel. Wheel. See, that's like Neil as well. That's 1.2. Wheel is 1.2 syllables.

Someone's dead right. We need to reach out to Susie Dent from 8 Out of 10 Cats. Yeah, she'd know. She'd know. She's so smart. Only smart? Twitter. She's so attractive.

Have you still got Twitter? No, I don't know if Twitter's around. I feel like she'd be on Twitter. She'd be on Twitter. Okay, we'll put it to her. We're going to come back to this. This is an ongoing debate. We'll have an answer by Christmas.

Oh, another one in the bag. And it's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here.