ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 18th March 2024

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

Top 6: Drunk in Space  Silly Little Poll!  Fletch the Hitch-Hiker!  What exploded on you?  Fletch's Houseparty!  The Anonymous Phoner!Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Happy Tickets on Sale Day.

Oh yeah! Tickets for Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley live going on sale 9 o'clock this morning. That's right. For our big shows in Auckland and Wellington the 5th and 6th of April. Sorry, Auckland and Christchurch. It's your show that's in Wellington,

your comedy show. Yes, yes. And we're sniffing around about going under one. We're sniffing. There's some sniffing occurring. So yeah, 9 o'clock this morning. All the details at ZM Online.

Five on time. Has made it to $40,000. Shut up. $40,000. That is so much money. That's two septic field systems just for anybody else who's been quoted a septic field system. Quoted a...

Quoted a... Just a heads up. Vaughan's had a... He's had a bad... He's had some devastating news. Right. Actually, it's been a devastating week for Vaughan's had some devastating news. Actually, it's been a devastating week for Vaughan all around. He doesn't want to talk about any of it. I don't want to talk about it. Okay. I don't want to be here.

We'll just leave you here. We will support you through this time. Yes. And I think this mood will carry on through to Thursday. I can't make the staff meeting. Just getting in early with that one, are you? I'm getting in early. I'm going to be in

no emotional state to hang around here until whatever time for a staff meeting yeah I can't do it it's been a great start to the week

I can't do it five on time make sure you're listening at eight o'clock if you want to win that $40,000 it could I mean

we've got $50,000 to give away if it gets to $50,000 it's going to we're going to sit there it's going to sit at $50,000. And that could easily happen by the end of the week. No, but I want to give it away today to brighten Vaughan's mood.

Well, 8 o'clock. Vaughan's not going to run my mood. Somebody else winning money. Then you can befriend them, Vaughan. You befriend them. I'm going to have to really work hard to befriend someone to the point where they're going to give me over half of their winnings. I don't know.

You're a nice guy. Next on the show, there is a father who is disgruntled, shall we say. Disgruntled. And it has to involve his toddler and the musician called Pink. Whom we saw only a week

ago. Pink was, she was in Australia, right, and then came to New Zealand to do the New Zealand shows and then has gone back to Australia. Yeah. Yeah.

Why did she do that? We were trying to figure it out. Because normally they do all of Australia, then come here. Take it off, come here. Maybe she put on extra shows and it couldn't fit.

Well, she's got like two, because a lot of them have two stages, don't they? Yeah. So one stage can travel to the next place while one stage is being used. Yeah, she's got like two, because a lot of them have two stages, don't they? Yeah. So one stage can travel to the next place while one stage is being used. Yeah, yeah, get ahead. Anyway, so the Sydney

show, which hasn't happened yet or is happening. Yeah, because I think, was she in Melbourne over the weekend, maybe? Yeah, so it's coming up. There was a man who called the stadium just to make sure that he'd be alright, because, you know, you check the list of stuff you're allowed to bring in.

Umbrellas. Never allowed an umbrella, are you? Never allowed an umbrella. Not allowed, like, hot foods. You can take snacks. Yeah. I'm never allowed my – I took snacks to pink.

Yeah, my golf shoes because they've got spikes in them. Oh, really? Yeah, they don't like that. It's a weapon. I just put my gun down my pants. Yeah, well, they don't fill you up. They turn up to see there. Although you go to a concert overseas and you go my gun down my pants. Yeah, well, they don't fill you up. They turn up to see there. Although you go to a concert overseas and you go through all the security.

Yeah. It's only a matter of time until we get those in New Zealand. Yeah. Anyway, so the guy in Sydney, he called up to see, you know, if it would be all right that he's got his little bag with a few things, but that he'd need to bring a nappy bag. And they were like, okay, yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. And he said, I just want to double check that my daughter doesn't need a ticket.

I said, well, how old's your daughter? Nine weeks old. And they said, well, everyone at the concert, regardless of age, requires a ticket. Now, tickets are $180 each. And he said that at the time, this is what's interesting, at the time of purchasing his tickets for him and his family that were $180 each, he hadn't anticipated that they'd have a newborn with them.

Oh, right. So I'm like, was it early? Was the baby early? Surprise. Remember, we looked at when we bought our tickets and they were like May last year. Yeah, were you not pregnant yet? No.

Yeah. So he got all upset about it saying, oh my God, it's disgraceful that this baby that's going to be strapped to my chest the whole entire time has to have this ticket. No, it's disgraceful that you're taking a baby to a concert. Dude, this is my issue. By the way, the stadium said like, it's fine.

It's so loud. What, the stadium will like bring you a seven week old baby? Nine week old, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, like, you know, I get it. You see babies at concerts and they've got the little headphones on and stuff, but, like. What's the point? Like, just get a babysitter.

Also, like, it's sort of dangerous. Like, Pink, where we went, was sold out. It was so massive. And if you were in standing, a standing area, like GA, you don't know. You know, people dance. You might get bloody knocked and rocked around. Absolutely. Also, everything about it.

The hearing. Like, can you get headphones for a nine-week-old baby? Yeah, you can. Finding a nice, quiet place for the baby to feed because you're going to have newborns feed regularly we didn't change its nappy those toilets in midway through just she's midway through just like a pill and the baby starts crying no thanks oh my god like this one of the best songs yeah I'm kidding me $180 tear a baby grinders all I would be I write I would be so I would be given those looks you

give someone on a plane when their babies crying well no I don't give the looks I know I do I should shush them. You know I shush them. You shush them. They can drive. But kids, because we went to Disturbed on the weekend, me and Jarrod. Now, that's one of the heaviest concerts I've ever been to. The crowd. Yeah.

It was just like a sea of black t-shirts. There were no babies there. There were kids. What? How old? Oh, well, how old would you say? One of them got pulled up on stage, like seven years old. Right.

What did the seven-year-old get on stage for? Well, you know, they did one of those things like, hey, you're an awesome kid and you like the fans. Did the kid sing? Do you play the drums, kid? Yeah, yeah, totally. Did they do that? But not.

Was the kid like, ooh, wah, ah, ah, ah. Ooh, wah, ah, ah, ah. But I'm always like, go home. Adults are playing. Well, no, see, I don't mind if the kids are fans because they're not going to be screaming baby. I mean, he's sort of got the impression of being a fan. Oh, right, okay.

Not a true fan. Not a true fan. Sounds like someone's jealous that they weren't invited on stage. He was putting his fist in the air, but he didn't know why he was doing it. Do you know what I mean? Right, okay. Anyway, the dad's allowed to take his little bebe to pink now for free.

Wow. At the weekend, I started a new TV show. Yeah. Because I finished Masters of the Air and I had a little cry. Oh. And then I needed to feel good and I found it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Masters of the Air's all done now, so you can watch it.

You were saving it all up until the whole series was out. It's out. You can watch it. Watch that this week. It's pretty good. and Hayley. Masters of the Air is all done now, so you can watch it. You were saving it all up until the whole series was out. It's out. You can watch it. Watch that this week. It's pretty good. I'm excited. Yep. World War II story about the bloody 100th.

That's on Apple, isn't it? Correct. Do you have a spare login for that? Because I don't have that at the moment. Yeah, I've got one. I do have a spare one, but my father-in-law is using it. You can have mine. Is that adding to your mood as well today?

Yeah. He's been up since 2 o'clock this morning It certainly isn't enlightening the mood It certainly isn't enlightening my mood Maybe I'll just pay for a month then Just to avoid Maybe you set up a new email address Maybe you get a new email address and you have a trial Yeah, I reckon you get a 14 day trial

I'm going to have to set up a whole new email address For these trials that I keep doing Yeah, I know It's so annoying It should just be Carl Bleacher1234 FreeTri trials01 at gmail.com. Yep. But I finished that, and I always get at the end of the World War II movies

or war movies where they say what they did afterwards, and then they show, like, real photos of them and their wives and their family. It gets you. It gets you going. Old Smithies. For the old boys. It gets watery. It gets watery. The old boys. It gets watery. Yeah, get a bit watery, get a bit glazed.

And then I was like, I need to feel good. And I remembered being recommended Love on the Spectrum. Yeah. So I was like, all right, I'll start the US Love on the Spectrum, which I think was the first one because there's an Australian one. Yeah. And the first season of the US Love on the Spectrum started that. Yeah. Oh. first season of The U.S. Love on the Spectrum started that. Yeah.

Oh. I know. It's so good. It's good watching, my dude. It's good watching. Okay. It's good watching. It hooked Aaron so hard.

And you're only on season one. Season two. Oh, my God. So I think I've got through four of them. Yeah. And then there's six episodes in the first season. Yeah. And then I found out there's an Australian one. So when I finish the American seasons, I'll go and watch the Australian one. Yeah, of them. Yeah. And then there's six episodes in the first season. Yeah. And then I found out there's an Australian one.

So when I finish the American seasons, I'll go and watch the Australian one. Yeah, of course. Yeah. But it's one of those ones where it gives you an insight into a life. Yeah. Of somebody,

a lot of people on the autism spectrum, that's thus love on the spectrum. And yeah, you're just like. It's pure. It is. It is. It's pure. It must be someone to go on a date with someone who's just telling you exactly just like... It's pure. It is. It is. It's pure.

It must be similar to going on a date with someone who's just telling you exactly what they're thinking. I don't know if I'd want that. When we watched it, we said they're just better than us. Like, with the honesty. Yeah. They're just better than us. Right.

Is that now, is that on Netflix? Yeah. Correct. Because my month has ended. I will need someone's login for that. Cough up. I pay for all of them someone's login for that. Cough up. I pay for all of them and they just sit there. Cough up.

Yeah, you're paying for all of them. We could be using them. We could be using them. You can use mine. You can use my neon. I've got neon. I've got them all. I'm trying to make this work here.

I'm trying to make this arrangement work here. Yeah, you can use my Netflix. It's so good, though. Do you still pay for Pornhub Premium? I told you that's not. I told you there's nothing you're getting on Premium. You can use mine, but don't go and look at my favourites, okay? Because I don't want you to see it.

No, actually, I don't want to ruin your algorithm. No, please don't. You and I are in a very different thing. I feel like we are not aligned on that. Don't go saving yours into my folder. Wouldn't it be nice if you did log on to your friend's though and it was like, pleasant. What a wonderful selection.

I have zero issues with that. You have curated quite the front page. 18 past six, the top six is next on the show. Ethanol has been found in space. Which is booze, right? One of the building blocks of booze, yeah. But also a possible fuel. So that's exciting stuff, but I've got the top six things to do in space after Which is booze, right? One of the building blocks of booze, yeah. But also a possible fuel.

Okay. So that's exciting stuff but I've got the top six things to do in space after a couple of space drinks. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley from the Panoramic ZM Think Tank.

This is the top six. Hello. Hello. Potter. Hello, Potter. Potter. Hello, Potter. Potter. NASA has used the James Webb Space Telescope and pointed it at two young proto-stars

and found ethanol. Also known as alcohol. Okay. Yeah. Out in space, they're like, what's out there? Ethanol Also known as alcohol Okay Yeah Out in space They're like What's out there? Ethanol

Some other stuff Not a lot of methane Bit more ethanol Some formic acid Right That's what you need for bread isn't it? You put that in the bread Folic

Oh that's folic acid That's folic yeah Helps your baby when you Helps your baby when you Helps bubs Helps bubs Well there's There's booze in space now So I've got the top six things To do in space after Bollock, yeah. Helps your baby when you... Helps your baby when you... Helps bubs. Helps bubs a lot. Hey, bubs. There's booze in space now,

so I've got the top six things to do in space after a few space drinks. Okay. Number six on the list, open the door just to see if you can shut it again. Because I wonder if the vacuum just like... But you get it to a certain point, I reckon you just wouldn't be able to show it again.

You're losing that. Yeah, you're losing that. You're really going to hold on tight. And then it's all over for me. You've lost Vaughn in space again. Oh, Vaughn's gone. He's got bored. The booze took away his inhibition to, you know, not do that.

Number five on the list of the top six things to do in space after a few space drinks. Do a Mars surface flyby at full speed. Oh, yeah. Just over the... Have a look. I'd do a Mars surface flyby at full speed. Oh, yeah. Over there. Have a look. There's nothing down there, but I'd imagine if there were Martians, they'd be like, whoa. Like Top Gun.

Beep, boop, boop, beep, boop, boop. Number four on the list of the top six things to do in space after a few space drinks. Play some zero gravity pool. Or darts. Oh yeah. Find that sweet spot. Dart would be hard though. Oh yeah. Just like floats off. Yeah but it's a long game. It eventually

will go into the board. Will it go straight if you just threw it? Because there's no gravity pulling it down. It's got to float away won't it? When you play darts you have to allow for the drop. A curvature. Yeah. It starts dropping. So away, won't it? When you play darts, you have to allow for the drop. A curvature. Yeah. It starts dropping.

So if you just threw it straight, it would go straight. Pull, though, completely different. If you jump the ball, it would just be gone. Off it goes, yeah. Number three on the list of the top six things to do in space after a few space drinks. Drill into an asteroid for shits and giggles and pretend you're Bruce Willis in classic late 90s film Armageddon.

Yeah. True. He drilled. He was the best driller on earth. And they sent him up there. He saved the world, didn't he? He sure did. And he sacrificed himself.

Spoiler. Oh my God. Why did you have to go and give it away? He had to set off the nuclear bomb. He had to stay behind. Yeah. Set off the nuclear bomb. Someone had to.

Yeah. Never looked at animal biscuits the same again after that movie. And Ben Affleck runs it across the left tireless tight tummy. Yeah, that had two. Yeah. Never looked at animal biscuits the same again after that movie. And Ben Affleck runs it across Liv Tyler's tight tummy. Oh, yeah, that's right. Runs a little... Doopie-doo-doo. They had a lot more icing back in the day, didn't they?

Oh, they did. A lot more icing. Why'd you have to bring it up? That's the thing. Maybe those were the last of the well-iced animal biscuits. Yeah. And he trotted them across Liv Tyler's tight tummy. Number two.

Young Will and Smith really remembered that, didn't they? That particular detail. That was a hot, hot scene. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why were you allowed to watch that? Well, no, because it was just part of a greater adventure. You've got to have romance. Goodness.

Your parents should have been running a tighter regime. Armageddon scene with animal biscuits. Animal biscuits. We don't go and watch it now on your own dime, thank you. Do this later, please, Vaughn. Yeah, I might do it now. Oh, it's gross. Now I'm looking at you and I know that you're loving it.

I don't know. He just ran the biscuits across their tummy and pretended he was like David Attenborough or something. Oh, man. Number two on the list of the top six things to do in space after a few space drinks. Kick everybody out and go to bed like David Amber or something. Oh, yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things to do in space after a few space drinks. Kick everybody out

and go to bed early. You've got a big day tomorrow. Just get out the big plastic sack. Yeah, start cleaning up. You guys go back to your own spaceships. Eject.

And number one on the list of the top six things to do in space after a few space drinks. Go and see if we actually ever landed on the moon. Go and see if it's there.

Guys, we should go to the moon. I know where it is. We should go to the moon. We'll be able to see the flag. Why is it floating? There's no gravity. The go-kart that they left behind. That is today's, oh yeah, here it is.

Liv Tyler drove a BMW M3 in this movie. Hot. How'd she afford that? Well, her dad was an oil rig guy. Oh, lots of money. Yeah, lots of money, yeah. Yeah. Okay, right. I don't need to watch you watching this. Yeah, that's weird.

Bump him out. Now, on Friday, I believe we heard about the weekend producer Shannon was going to be having. She was going to be travelling out of town, staying away from home, and doing a murder mystery in which she had been given the character of British mail-order bride for the Cowboys. Yeah, I was.

Okay. You seen this? Wait. But is this one of those ones you can order online? Yeah, like a package. Well, you can't tell us who the murderer was then. Why? No, it was a sports thing, wasn't it?

No, it was like a board game one from an op shop. It's from the 90s. Which is why it was problematic. Spoiler then, that's most 30 years. Which is why it was problematic. Oh, it was problematic, wasn't it? I think we need to know who was the murderer. Was it the little Mexican boy?

Do you want me to tell you? Tell us all. It was me. Was it? Again. Again. I've done two murder mysteries both times. I was the murderer.

Oh, my God. We are in the presence of a murderer. I know. It seemed too obvious because my character moved there to marry him, thought he was ugly, and then took his money. We realised pretty quick I ended up with all the money. So no one thought it was me, including myself. I was accusing everyone left, right and centre.

Way too obvious. My accent went Geordie very quick as I had a few more drinks. Yeah, of course. I didn't kill my husband. Every time I accuse someone, I started with oi oi. Oi oi. Okay, why not? Yeah.

And then, so basically there's a few rounds and we get two rounds in. I didn't know I was thei. Okay. Why not? Yeah. And then, so basically there's a few rounds, and we get two rounds in, I didn't know I was the murderer. Yeah. And then I turn the page, and it's like, do not react when you read this. Do not look. Act like you're not reading. You are the murderer.

Here's how you did it. I would be like. Here's like. Are you all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm fine. Just some interesting information. Well, no, I just went to the toilet and I read it in the toilet,

trying to act cool. And then we actually had the murdered guy there. Someone showed up and they weren't a character, so we were like, you can be the dead guy. So I pulled him and I was like, look, I killed you. And he was like, oh, my goodness. It's your husband. Yeah, so then we have to do another round and I'm just deflecting hard.

I was just like, it's you, it's you, it's you, it's you. And I won. I was going to say you got caught because you were too accusatory. No, no, I won. So you won because no one accused you once you knew you were the murderer. As a group, we had to lock in an answer at the end of that round and no one even tried to think of accusing me. And so then I just bandwagoned.

How long did this go on for? You're all in character. This sounds horrible. We stopped for dinner. We had a big barbecue. Stopped, paused for dinner. You should have eaten in character. Paused for dinner.

Wow. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this is late. And we were at the lake front. We'll find sausages, oi, oi. We were at the lake and we were at a fire pit. It was gorgeous. But, yeah, so I would say the whole ordeal is maybe about four hours.

Oh, no. It was a long time. No, no, no. One hour of malarkey and then we're just hanging out and having drinks. Half an hour. A tight 45. A tight 45 absolute max. It was good fun.

From start to wrap up. It was good fun. And, yeah, as soon as I realised I was the murderer, I messaged Carwen and I was like, you won't believe this. It's me. It's me. I'm so proud of myself. It's me.

But yeah, statistically pretty crazy that I've been randomly assigned the murderer twice now. But we did hear from a few people over the weekend that have done these similar things. You order them online. Yeah. Yeah. And act it out.

Again, I still. I think we know what we're doing for someone's birthday. Murder mystery weekend. Murder mystery with the gaggle. I don't think that would... Oh my God, imagine. I think you would like it.

I think you're talking down on it, but once you're there and there's characters and there's alcohol, there's food, it's fun. Hayley would love it and maybe Vaughn after...

I would flourish. Maybe Vaughn after a couple of drinks. So would you actually Vaughn? Yeah, I think Vaughn would like that. With your D&D play. I like a role play. Yeah. But I'd want to be like a bad guy.

Yeah, I'd want to be a bad guy. Whether or not he's the bad guy that did the murder or he's just a bad man. There's some plot lines that are like very, there was a doctor who had been killing a bunch of people. There was a half-brothers storyline, which was a bit problematic. Was he helping his stuck stepsister?

Yes, yes. There was a whole... It was cowboy days, though. Two of the four hours. Can't be stepbrother. My hand's stuck on the washboard. Literally. And I found out I wasn't an innocent bride.

That came out at one point. Oh, my gosh, she's been sullied. Yeah, she was sullied. Wow. Monkey. It's a bit monkey, isn't my gosh, she's been sullied. Yeah, she was sullied. Wow. Mucky. It's a bit mucky, isn't it? Oh, that's a bit mucky. Yeah, that's a bit mucky.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly silly little pole, silly little pole.

Silly little pole today is do you review shows on Netflix or any streaming? I guess because there's a couple of, I mean, I don't know for a fact, but I think other streaming also has the ability to rate what you just watched, right? Yeah. I'm correct in saying that? I believe so, Vaughn, yes. Vaughn, I believe you to be correct in this. Thank you. I don't bother because, I don't know, like, is it just for you?

Is it so it'll recommend you stuff? Maybe. If you really super liked it and somebody else super liked that and super liked something else, you might have a similar taste. Yeah. But I think it's more to the algorithm than the reviewing as such. 85% of people said, no, I ignore it. 15% of people said, yes, I love it. Yeah.

Wow, okay. Amy said, it's as simple as, and I still can't be arsed. Totally. It's literally like... You finish the show and you press up and then select one of the thumbs down, up, or two thumbs up. Yeah. Do you think we'd be more inclined if when you hovered over a show,

it was like 98% of people love this? Or... I don't know. There are shows when you finish, it's like recommended because you watched... But is that done from Netflix or is that done based on the thumbs up, thumbs down-sies? It could be like if people like that show and gave it a thumbs up, this is some other stuff they like. That they then went on to watch.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Humph. Mm. Matt said, I don't want to end up in a logarithmic bubble. I want to watch different types of shows and movies depending on my mood.

Yeah, okay. Well, that's cool. Good call. Is there a mood category? Oh, yeah. On Netflix and stuff? Because there's lots of those categories. Yeah, if you go to like mood category,

like, oh, I'm angry. Yeah, just watch stuff getting blown up. Yeah. Joe said, I only do this so when I see it, I know I've already watched it oh yeah okay I'm terrible at that a little

you watch it you're like this seems familiar yeah movies like TV shows never but movies I'll be like

I haven't seen this I have not seen this oh yeah she's gonna walk yeah I've seen this I've seen this maybe I saw the trailer no no I saw the whole movie no no I've seen the entire whole movie

shall I stop it I'm here now I'm a half investor yeah Nathan the next responder he said exactly the same thing. Only uses it to keep track of what he's watched. But doesn't it, when you've watched something, doesn't it normally say watched?

Yeah. Maybe not. Don't know. They just want to keep you in the loop so they don't tell you. Yeah, maybe. Sneaky. Sneaky.

Very sneaky. Sneaky little smug. Sneaky little buggers. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hot Girl Walks. It's basically walking, but we put a name on it. If Vaughn and I walk anywhere, what is that? Hot Zaddy Walks. Whatever you want it to be. Okay. Yeah. Right. Just one. Big Zaddy. Big Ziddy Daddy Walks. That's you want it to be. Okay. Yeah. Right. Just one. Big daddy. Big zitty daddy walks. That's what that is.

Right. Okay. When I walk, it's a hot girl walk. Right. But a hot girl walk is just walking. Hot boy laps. Hot boy laps. Hot boy laps. I like that.

I love that. Okay. Now, my problem with walking, the only way that I get through walking in the moment, because my neighborhood's quite small, and I've done all the loops. Pausing. Jeremy Wells is getting wet in the rain. Hot boy. Jeremy.

Jeremy's wet in the rain. Ew. Hello. Come here. I have a towel for you, Jeremy. Jeremy, let me rip you up and dry you off. We've got a wet baby on our hands. Sorry, Jeremy.

We respect you as a fellow broadcaster. I just object to following. I just want to look at him. Anyway, so my problem with walking is I get so bored. My neighborhood's quite small. I know all the routes. I'm just like boring, boring, boring. And also does it like trigger you, but does it trigger you to lockdowns?

Yes. It's like the only escape from the prison of your home was the walks. But so I listen to horny books. That's the way I make my walk spicy. This was on TikTok. Another way of spicing up your hot girl walk is like in lockdowns, you know when you pass someone, you say, morning. Yep.

Usually you just state the time of day. Afternoon. How are you? How are you? Lovely day. Yep, of day. Afternoon, evening. How are you? How are you? Lovely day. Yeah, lovely day. But to make it a fun game, you do it through the alphabet. Now, Shannon, you saw this as well on TikTok.

Yeah. So you go through and so say we're doing this game. I would pass you on the street and I'd say afternoon. What if it's the morning? Well, it doesn't matter. Hello. You could be like, hello. No, that's E-L. That's E-L morning? Well, it doesn't matter. Hello. You could be like, hello.

No, that's E-L. That's E-L-L. Hello, hello. You'd be like, are you having a good day? Yeah, are you having a good day? Are you having a good day? Next person you see,

you'd be like, beautiful walking conditions. Oh, yeah. I was going to say like, bloody good day. There you go. Okay. Characteristically typical weather we're having.

That's weird. No, you've got to make it feel or give Chip a morning to you What? No Can you believe how good this is? There you go, there you go Shannon's did one, what was it? Can you believe how good this is?

Can you believe how good this is? Or what about cheer up? Oh, that's a good one Especially during lockdown Okay, do D, D, D. Day for it. Day for it. Yes.

Day for it. E. Hello, hello. Go with an E. Hello, hello is with an A. No, it's not. It's E. It is.

Everything about you looks incredible. No, inappropriate. And I'm hitting on them. What about E? Easy. Easy, tiger. No, I'm heading on that. What about E? Easy. Easy, tiger. Easy, tiger. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E don't know about you, but this is a great walk. X-Ray, if you don't walk as much, you'll get weak bones. Excellent day for a walk. Yeah, you'd have to.

I feel like you really, yeah. Zippy-doodle-da. What's up? How's your walk going along? Zippy-doodle-da. I mean, if you're walking that long that you've passed 24 people, it's probably time to go home. It's a big hot girl walk. What would you say?

What about H? Oh, no. How are you? That was easy. Hello. It's a big hot girl walk. What would you say? What about H? Oh, no. How are you? That was easy. Hello. That was easy, yeah. Hi. J.

Jolly good. You did jolly good. K. Kick up the butthole. Let's get a move on. Kick it. See, I think I would panic. Kia ora.

Kia ora. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's beautiful, actually. Kia ora. Kia ora. Why didn't you think of that one? I don't know. K.

Bad Māori. Bad Māori Bad Māori Yep You and Winston Peters Me and Winston Peters Bad Māoris Nice 12 past 7 next on the show Technology guys

Technology and fashion Intertwined like Sorry, sorry, sorry Is Vaughan doing fashion news? Fashion Wait, why are youan doing fashion news? Fashion. Wait, why are you doing the fashion news? Because it's my passion.

No, Hayley should be doing this segment. Oh, is that Hayley that says fashion is my passion? Yeah. I thought it was my passion. What about your fashion says it's your passion?

I don't know what your passion is like. The whiskey and... Can you not tell I'm wearing this purple t-shirt in the past? I love fashion. Fashion is my passion.

Look at this purple t-shirt. He loves that Fashion is my passion Look at this purple t-shirt He loves AS colour It's an aubergine It's beautiful Okay so what We've got some fashion And tech news next Yeah

Okay Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Alright two pieces Two pieces to discuss Okay The latest iPhone update If you have clothes

From overseas With the symbols That you're not sure What they mean Or a different language Or you just don't know With the symbols That you're not sure what they mean Or a different language Or you just don't know what the symbols is The laundry symbols I never know what the laundry There's an iron one

That Or if it's got a line through it That's a do not iron That's a do not iron Yeah So if you've got the latest iPhone update You take a photo of that label And then flick up

On the photo I've got the symbols I can do this Stand by Stand by And you take a photo You flick up on the photo. I've got the symbols. I can do this. Yeah. Stand by. Stand by. And you take a photo, you flick up and it will say laundry details. I don't have one.

And it'll tell you how to wash your clothes. Flick up. Oh, yeah. Look up laundry care and then it opens up. Oh, yeah. Tells you what the symbols mean. Seri knowledge. So tumble drying maximum 80 degrees Celsius for this T-shirt,

this navy blue T-shirt. Ironing maximum 150 Celsius. How do I not have any labels? Bleaching. I don't have any labels. And then do not dry clean. Why don't you have a label? Is it on there?

Yeah. I see. No, there's no laundry label. It's just a label. Come on, Koto. Where are you? Well, they might just not. It might be written on the label. So if it's got symbols Where are you? Well, they might just not. It might be written

on the label. So if it's got symbols, it will work for that because it scans the symbols and tells you how to wash your clothes. That's amazing.

That's amazing. That's a lot of fun. We're always just doing a quick 30 though, aren't we? What do you mean a quick 30? When we wash your clothes. It's always quick 30.

No, just cotton. No, always quick 30. How long is your cotton cycle? My cotton's two hours. That's too long. My cotton cycle's way too long. Hour 30? Nah.

No, I just do either a 30 minute if they're not soil. Quick 30. Quick 30. Or an hour. If I'm shat myself. Your clothes' pungent odour. Whereas I went hiking at the weekend, a lot of muddy clothes, so did a full hour with an extra rinse cycle.

An extra rinse cycle. He's been doing an extra rinse cycle. I know. I quick 30 almost everything, almost every time. Really? Unless I've shat myself. And that's why you come to work with the odd stain. I actually do.

I often have dirty clients. You often do. I often have dirty clients. Well, that's a quick 30. You're quick 30. It's not because I've washed them. It's because I've literally just take them off, shove them on the floor, put them on.

They've got jib dust. That's a good, but you should have known this fashion. You're in, your fashion is your passion. Really feeling like someone's sort of cutting my lunch here. Yeah. Sorry. I can't. Next on the show,

oh boy, my tractor. Oh boy. Oh boy. Let me tell you a story about my farm. She's oh boy. Oh boy, my tractor up next. This I accidentally discovered in Timu, which I'm not a huge fan of because it's all just plastic junk shit

that's going to end up in landfill. I'm very picky about what I purchase off there. Every 20th item you buy from there is pretty good. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I've been buying all this, like, scrapbooking stuff. Oh, yeah. And that's pretty good.

And that's the craft stuff. Yeah, because it's just like paper. It's so cheap. Yeah. Yeah, because I got those, the iPhone holder that you clip into the tray table on the plane. Those were cool. They were $4. Oh's so cheap. Because I got those iPhone holders that you clip into the tray table on the plane. Those were cool. They were $4. Is that still going? That still works? Yeah, I've had one flight out of it

or two flights. Well, that's $2. That's a full bill of math there. Hasn't broken yet. Well, I accidentally banged in the search bar on the Timu app the camera. And basically that's like, if you see something you like and you're like, what's the deal with that? Do our gay candle.

Do this. Oh yeah, bow. Do our bow. You take a photo of something you like. You open the camera, it scans for anything it can see, basically. And then it'll tell you if there's something in the store like it. Scan me and it'll be like oh my god, do you want to buy a bloody 10 out of 10?

Here we go. It's scanning the bow. I reckon even on Tinder you'd be $5. Oh my god. More bells. All the bells. How much is a new $2.68 for a one-piece hotel lobby bell? Do something a bit more obscure. Okay.

What about, does it do like t-shirts and clothes? What about the little, the miniature tape measure? Okay, take a photo of that and then see if you can buy that on Teemu. It doesn't even take a photo. It just does a visual thing and it, yeah, see, it's right there. Oh, my God. So you can see anything you like and see if it's on Teemu.

Yeah. That's insane. Can you do this with clothes as well, though? Aren't there some apps that do that? Box of tissues. Tissues aren't going to be on TV. I think Shein, you know. Are you kidding me?

Carwain, producer Carwain, you've seen this on Shein. Yeah, so you can also like upload a photo. So say you like something on a really expensive website. Yeah. And you're like, oh, love that top. Don't want to spend that price. Screenshot it. Pop it through the app. And it'll be like, here's some tops like this. And often're like, oh, love that top. Don't want to spend that price. Screenshot it. Pop it through the app.

And it'll be like, here's some tops like this. And often full dupes. Dude, I went. Really? Okay. We were at the pub on the weekend on Saturday and we saw someone we knew there. And she had these incredible earrings on. I said, oh, you know, like, oh, my God, where are those from?

She said $2 from Shein. And they looked like Zoe Morgan snake rip-offs. Hot stuff. If you didn't know her, you could take a photo. You'd have to zoom in. It's a bit creepy. If it's $2 on Shein, I reckon you'd have a big reaction. I said to her, are your ears itchy?

And she said, yeah, but I've got basic B ears. And I said, I've got very expensive ears. You actually keep the hydrocortisone cream industry in production. I just scanned our big gay candle to describe that. It's a very long candle. It's given me three or

four options for things of what I thought it was. A prank tube of chips that you open and a snake springs out. Yeah, buy one. Add to cart. Kaleidoscope keychain or a penis pump. Oh, okay. I'm just adding,

I mean, add all of them to cart and we'll just see what arrives. All sound great, don't they? Yeah, yeah, like whatever. Just do whatever with them. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan Ailey.

Play ZM's. Big weekend. Big weekend. I am so tired today I did the Tongariro crossing yesterday The Tongariro crossing yesterday Great Initially

You've done it before though I've done it But you've done it a couple of times I think we did it at school Yeah I don't I don't think I've done it Back in my day You were allowed to bloody scale up

The side of Not holy Yeah When did they stop that? Because I wondered that yesterday. You used to be able to climb it, but then everyone kept sliding down and getting rescued. It was pretty fun.

Yeah. But it's real loose, scoria climbing up. It's hard. You're constantly skidding, and then on the way down, you just kind of stand, and it just slides. I think it was after Lord of the Rings, right? They were like, stop climbing Mount Doom. Yeah.

Too many tourists getting rescued. Yeah. Cut that out. We'll stop that. But yeah. Throwing rings into it and such. Yeah. Beautiful day for the crossing.

It cleared up. Magnificent. Was it busy? It's honestly one of the greatest walks. Well, we went on a Sunday, my friend and I, and it was super, we went super early. 5.45. Christians wouldn't have been there. No.

Well, church day. Church. So that takes away, you know, a big part of the track, I early. 5.45. Christians were in there. No, well, church day. So that takes away, you know, a big part of the track, I guess. Yeah. But we went on a really early shuttle bus and we just gunned ahead. And we're pretty much the only people on the track because we were so early. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah.

Got up there, waited for it to clear. It cleared and then finished like two and a half hours before our shuttle was due. What are you going to do? Well, certainly not wait. Why did you do this? You rushed somewhere. What do you mean? It wasn't rushing.

We just did it fast. Yeah, you rushed. It took us like just under five hours, like four hours or something. That's with all the breaks and everything. Yeah. So we get to the bottom and we're just like, we've got two and a half hours. Because where were you swimming? Was that a different day?

That was at Hot Water Beach. That was the day before. Oh, okay. No, that was in Kerosene Creek near Rotorua. Oh, right. Beautiful. Yeah.

Whistle stop tour of the North Island. Yeah. So you really, really hit the road. My friend is over from Belgium. I'm like, I'll show you around. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is he a smurf? He's not, no. He's not a smurf. Oh, because a lot of people, because they saw your feet at the hot water beach, was it? And people saw your feet, recognisable, famous. And then another set of hooves and they thought, God, Margaret.

Margaret. Not Margaret. Margaret's got some hooves. Unfortunately, not my fictitious wife, Margaret, no. No. And so we were like, well, what are we going to do? And then a shuttle bus comes up the road. And we're like, well, we'll ask this guy for a ride.

We were staying at National Park. That's where the car was. Yeah. Which is like, what, 20 k's away? Yeah. And the guy was like, oh, look, I'm not going there, but I'm going. I can drop you near Fuckapapa. The road to the, you know, the creepy chateau hotel that's all-

Abandoned now. It's abandoned now. Yeah. And he was like, you'll be able to get a ride from there. You'll be able to hitchhike. Hitchhike? And I'm like, yeah, boy. I've never hitchhiked before.

And I'm like, well, I'm not sitting here for two and a half hours waiting for a bus. We'll give this a try. I've picked up a hitchhiker going through the desert road which is not that same road but just around the corner let's see on your own yeah but i was like how did you get here and then i stayed i camped at this place back there and i was like you're just kind of in the middle of nowhere my man it's the first rule of hitchhiking right like you you start walking because at least you'll get somewhere

or you'll get there eventually. Oh my God, no. But then you end up in the middle of nowhere and then people don't want to pick you up because you look like you've just walked out of the bush after you've murdered someone. That's what a family would look like. So we were just like, okay, well, let's do this.

I also have never picked up a hitchhiker. I don't believe I could physically overpower. Yeah, right. If he's a big dude, I'm like, not today. So you only pick up hot females? Just like small, you know. And if they're brown, you know. Ethnically ambiguous?

You don't see many ethnically ambiguous hitchhikers. They're always got a real Nordic vibe to them. Right, okay. Look, if you would make the Finland polo team, I'll pick you up. Yeah, yeah. Water polo.

Beach volleyball. I don't know if we look like we're on a Finland beach volleyball team or not. He was Belgian. He was Belgian.

We're in the little Smurf hat. Yeah, and you've got a Nordic twist. Yeah, right. Well, we tried for like maybe, I don't know,

five cars and I was like, I cannot handle this twist. Yeah, right. Well, we tried for like maybe, I don't know, five cars. And I was like, I cannot handle this rejection. Oh, yeah. It is. It's like seeing who's saying no to you on Tinder. Yeah. Like you see their face. Yeah.

And they're like, no. And you see them look at you and be like, oh, absolutely not. And the worst is when they have an empty back seat. Yeah. You're just like, you could have stopped. Yeah. So wait, you get dropped to Whakapapa and then you're hitchhiking from there? Yeah. To National Park. To National Park. That's not it.

Which is like 10 minutes in the car. Yeah, but it's a hell of a walk. I googled it and I was like, 21k's. 21k's in 5 hours. We were like, we're not walking. And so I was just like, okay, well I had reception on my phone luckily. So I just like googled like National Park taxis or shuttles,

and I found this shuttle operator, and I rang this guy up. And I said, oh, hey, look, any chance you could pick us up from the Fuckapapa Road? And he's like, what are you doing there? I was like, I don't know. Long story, but can you do it? And he was like, yeah, he just came and picked us up. Oh, so you didn't even stick with the hitchhiking?

Didn't stick with the hitchhiking Because I couldn't handle the rejection And no one wanted that No one wanted us No one wanted And you know what There was three of you or two of you Two I think if we'd had boobs

I think if we'd had boobs Yeah Like I feel like if we'd had boobs Did you get your cleavage out? Yeah Did you tie up little t-shirts into tank tops? No it was too cold That's the other thing

It was like getting really cold And I was like You've got a real rig on you at the time I don't like this I don't like this Oh I don't like this. Oh, babe. So you tried and failed at Hitchhiking. I tried and failed. Can't handle the rejection.

I feel like if I'd had a sign maybe we could have just been like, we just need a five minute ride, you know? Yeah, not going far. Yeah. And then I was like, at the time, I was like, you know what? I need to start picking up more Hitchhikers to get some karma happening here. You know, like I've never picked anyone up.

This is why no one's stopping. I've only ever picked up one person once. And me and my friend were heading back from Gisborne to Wellington. And he drove a van. And the van in the back had no seats. And my friend George just like pulled over into this guy. And I was like, George, no, no, no. This guy looked like a loose unit.

And he was like, where are you going? And we dropped him off in Dannyverk. And all I remember, he got in the back with no seat and then without even asking, lit a joint. And me and my friend George were just like, what? My dude,

check first. And so he smoked a joint And then slept And I was like George he has got to go So we ditched him in Dannyburg That's the only time And I was like nah

How did you convince him to get out? We were like Oh mate you've got to get out here We're going to change direction We're not going to keep on going Oh he knew He knew I'm an ugh

And now he's the mayor of Dannyburg And now he's the mayor of Dannyburg Because he just stayed there I was going to keep him anonymous But he's the mayor of Dannyburg It Because he just stayed there. I was going to keep him anonymous, but he's the mayor of Danny Burke. It's got a big Nordic energy down there. Yeah. So there is, now we've got Bed Bath & Beyond

and Bed Bath, Bedroom Bath, Bathroom and Lounge. And Bits, yeah. And Bits, Bed Bath and Bits and Bits and Bobs. Yeah. But we don't have Bath and Body Works.bs. Yeah. But we don't have a bath and body works. That's American. And I think they have it in Australia. Right.

Okay. I've got a candle from there. Right. It's fine. It's fine. Do you know what I mean? It's fine. It does the job.

It does the job. But there was a woman who had a car air freshener from there. One of those little cute little things that you shove in your vent and whatnot. And she bought it from that shop. And she has a video of her, and she's in hospital because that thing, the air freshener, overheated. And as she was in the car,

it exploded in her face. Was it a hot Australia day? Wait, how does this, is it a little, well, you know those like plug-ins quite often have a little bit of liquid. Is it a container? My Akoya doesn't have that.

Because I've got the Akoya one as well and it's like a little buttery disc. It's got a little disc. I do need a new disc. I actually need to replace my disc. My disc's got to be dry. My disc's turned to more of a biscuit. A cracker of sorts. You've got a dry biscuit inside.

I need to get a new moist disc. But this is like your classic ones. It's got a little glass bottle. My mum used to have one of these. Similar to the, is it Glade does them as well? Glade does them, yeah. Glade does my many air fresheners, yeah.

I'll say they're too much. You've got to get stuff in a coyer disc. Anyway, so it exploded and not only did the liquid come out and bleach her car. Oh, wow. Like she's got all these like white stains, but it burst in her face and gave her ocular damage and chemical burns.

Jesus. Because I'm guessing it was hot and also. It overheated, yeah. You know, what are those little jars with the sticks in them? Diffusers. Diffusers. Aromatic diffusers. Have you ever spilt that shit?

Oh, it's very oily. No, it just destroys anything it touches. Oh, really? Yeah, because children. Mine's pine. Children. Knocked it over and I picked it up immediately, but it glugged on the table it was on

and it just pulled the paint off. They bleached it. Well, you're not respecting the wood there, are you? Is there a respect for the wood? You've got to sand that back now. I'm sanding that right back to the grain. It got thrown out, I think. Oh, no.

Wow. It didn't cost much in the first place. Yeah, yeah, right. And I burnt it, you know, so that's returning it to the earth as God intended. Is that how it worked? As our Lord and Saviour Jesus. It didn't go on the earth, it went into the atmosphere. Yeah.

It's kind of making the environment worse. No, no, no, not wood. Are we sure? Oh, I just would not do that. We've been burning wood for millennia. Yeah. It's kind of making the environment worse. Nah, nah, nah. Not wood. Are we sure? Okay. We've been burning wood for millennia. Yeah. Zero. Okay. Zero repercussions. Anyway, I think, this is terrible. I want to know what exploded on you.

Easy. I want to know if there was like a package or something or like a I mean, not a bomb. A lot of foods will, if there's heat, they'll ferment, won't they? Yoga. Yeah, yoga. Yoga pouches.

When you untwist those little kids and you're like, oh my God. A kombucha. Or my mum had the, as she labelled it, the Al-Qaeda tomato sauce incident. Yes, of course. That's exploded and she ran out to see what the noise was and the last one got her. Yeah. There was definitely, there was a woman who recently had her kombucha caps pop off

and like one of them hit her in the eye. Well, you're meant to kind of crack those, aren't you? Every day or so. Burp them. You've got to burp them like a bear bear. Yeah. Anything fermenting needs to be burped, don't you? You put that little cap on it and it bubbles up through the...

Yeah. Okay, what, so... Someone's messaging, hot pumpkin soup in the Nutribullet. I mean, they'll burst. Hot soup does. Yeah. Is it because the soup's hot and then it expands? You go...

So it's throwing it up the side, but it is the hot air expands, so it'll blow the lid off, but then it'll create a little bit of a vacuum as it goes. Oh, and that would stain your walls too. Oh my God, my dude. Yeah, especially if you put a bit of a healthy turmeric in there. Oh yeah. That's never coming out.

Okay, 0800-DARLESS at Amazon number. We'd love to hear from you this morning. You can text through 9696. What exploded on you? A woman's ear freshener. What do they call? Car air freshener. Yeah.

Is that it? Yeah. Exploded in the heat and exploded on her face and got in her eyes and gave her skin chemical burns and burnt the car. So we want to know what exploded on you. Claire, good morning. Hi. What did you have explode on you? So I had that good quality butter chicken Tulsi

sauce, but I was used to buying the crappy stuff full of preservatives. So I thought you'd just chuck it in your pantry. So that was the Tulsi one, and it was in there for a couple of days, and then I opened my pantry door and the whole thing had swollen up and then burst all through my pantry. Yeah, because aren't they supposed to

go in the fridge? Apparently yeah. Yeah, because they're like fresh, you know, the fresher ones only last a few days. So you put them in the fridge. But you were thinking you were going Pat-X in the jar can keep it for a year. Yeah, so I ran into the supermarket and they're like

it's meant to go in the fridge. This is on you babe. Check that that, check the label, babe. How far did the butter chicken explode? Because that's not an easy clean up. No, like literally through everything. Oh, did it stain the wall? No, not really, but it was just gross. I had to pull everything out and clean everything.

What is it that gives butter chicken its colour? Is it the cardamom? No, it's the garam masala. The garam masala. Yeah, like it's kind of a brownie-orangey colour. It's not that pretty for your petri. Smells good, though. You know when you walk in,

somebody smells a butter chicken, you're like, yeah, that tastes good. I just sort of licked it all off the jars, to be honest. What, this cold butter chicken sauce? I don't know. It's a little bit off. Oh, it's off. Yeah, no, I wouldn't have been licking that off.

Because Claire was supposed to put it in the fridge, but Dum Dum put it in the pantry. Thanks for your call, Claire. Some messages in. What has exploded on you? A fresh hot water bottle exploded on my back. Now I have a giant scar along my back, and I'm a wheat bag girl.

God, I have a friend who had a water bottle explode on her, and she's scarred like 10 years later still. What happened? Boiling water in there, and it just got too much? Well, I will say she'd had a couple of drinks. So she rolled on it. And she, no, yeah, rolled on it in a burst. Burned her leg.

Oh dear. I took a tray of eggs I'd forgotten about off the top of my microwave that had gone off and shot off like grenades all over my kitchen and all over me.

Room. Room. Sulfuric egg everywhere. And then I ended up vomiting. It was not a good day. Oh my God. Just burn the house down, eh? Do you know what?

Burn it down. Just burn the whole thing down. Start again., my God. Just burn the house down, eh? Do you know what? Burn it down. Just burn the whole thing down. Start again. Oh, my God. We're talking about what exploded on you. This woman's car air freshener exploded on her. That's nothing. I know.

Nothing, baby. Somebody said I was going to put a fish oil pill in my mouth. And it exploded and went all over my clothes. I could never get the smell of fish out of the jersey. Were you squeezing it? They must have been holding the capsule. Oh, yuck. You don't ever want to taste it.

Even with the little plastic shell on a fish oil, you have a kiss of fish in there. Yeah. You're always like. And then you get the fish burps. And you get fish burps. Oh, you've got to get the fish oil ones that don't give you the fish burps. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are the ones that they say fish oil burp free? Yeah, yeah, burp free. Burp free. Burp free. Some do. Some do. Andrew, Andrew, yeah. What are the ones that they say fish oil burp free? Yeah, yeah, burp free. Burp free. Burp free. Some do, some do. Andrew, Andrew, what exploded on you? Molten lead. Oh my God, was someone seizing your castle in the 1300s?

I was embalming some stuff and unfortunately some water went into the ladle that I was using and as I picked it up with the molten lead, the lead superheated picked up the pot with the molten lead, the lead superheated the water and exploded underneath the molten lead and it blew shit through and opened to my face. What?

Oh, my God. Were you okay? Well, it melted my eyes shut because as I heard the bang, I closed my eyes. Oh. So it hit me in the face all over. And then my father poured a bucket of water over me to cool it down because it was obviously really hot and then they rushed me off to hospital and they had to cut it off my eyes

so I could open my eyes again and see but I looked like a boxer a few days later because my eyes were soiled and shut but it was quite interesting and so but did you can you still tell now like looking at you that your eyelids were shut or did you still tell now, like looking at you, that your eyelids were shut or did you heal up okay? I mean, I've got one little scar that I can see,

but I mean, it didn't damage my eyes, fortunately. Oh, my God, how lucky. That just because that could have been so bad. That takes the cake, doesn't it? Andrew, thank you. Some messages in. My sister had cleaned the slow cooker pot in super hot, soapy water

after it had spent a night soaking. I put the clean lid back on, which was cold. The heat held in the ceramic of the bowl caused some sort of thermal reaction and boom, the glass lid shattered into thousands of pieces. It went everywhere. We're still finding pieces nearly a year later.

Would that be their little crumbly safety glass, do you reckon, on a crock pot lid? Doesn't sound like it. Because it's supposed to shatter but stay together, right? This thing. Yeah. Burst. Blew apart.

Exploded. Home brew beer exploded in the cupboard. Yeah. Yeah, it'll do. Don't bother. Just buy it. Yeah, I know. Don't bother.

Just buy it. It's never good. No one likes your home brew. Why don't you buy a Heineken Smoother? It's silver. Surprisingly smooth it. Yeah, I know. Just don't bother. Just buy it. It's never good. No one likes your home brew. Why don't you buy a Heineken smoother? A silver. Surprisingly smooth. Surprisingly smooth. Thank you.

Soda stream bottle exploded. Big mess. Very dangerous. Never dishwash plastic soda stream bottles. Well, they do say don't dishwash them. Yeah, you don't do that. Yeah. Because I did that and it wobbled the top.

The top became a little bit inconsistent. So that might have led to the explosion there during the pumping. Tomato paste that had gone off in the bottle exploded in my face two days before my first open home to sell the house. It was in my eyes, on the ceiling, on the lounge room floor, four metres away. Oh my god.

We need to be burping our goods. That's an incredible blast radius. Huge blast radius. Tomato paste. A glass candle jar exploded on the bathroom vanity and caused a weird blister burn on the surface. Oh. Well, that's why. The only sensible thing to do was an entire bathroom renovation.

Of course. Of course. With the tiles I've always wanted. You've got to leave a centimetre in your glass candles. People don't read the label in the instructions because otherwise it burns too hot and explodes it. Too hot. An egg in the microwave exploded as I opened the door.

You never put microwaves in. You don't put eggs in the microwave. No. And it's de-shelled and you're poaching them in water. Someone said, I had big bloody antibiotic capsules and no water. So raw dogged them, got caught in my throat. 20 minutes later I burped and a cloud of dust came out. Good Lord.

You might have to take your antibiotics again. I feel like you're not ingesting enough of them. Yeah, you chuck another one on top of that one. Oh my god, some of these are really dangerous and we're lucky that these people are alive. A very alive sauerkraut liberated itself from its jar all over my open plan home. Wow.

My house smelled like Germany for years. It smelled like Germany for years. It's been smelling like Germany. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM's. Thank you so much for dedicating an entire break in the 8 o'clock hour for me and producer Jared to talk about the Disturbed concert. Ooh. Ew. No, that's not what we're going to talk about here.

Really? Because at the weekend, so I went away at the weekend did the Tongariro crossing yesterday. So I left on Friday and our friend Big Hearted James was house sitting my house. Because Margaret was away because Margaret said

if you're going away for a boys weekend then I'm going away with the girls. She needed to get some content for her Instagram. She went over to Waiheke Island for the weekend with the girls. My needed to get some content for her Instagram. Yes, okay, yeah. She went over to Waiheke, darling. She went to Waiheke Island for the weekend with the girls. My fictitious wife. Well, Big Hearted James was house-sitting. By the way, he got stuck in the elevator.

Did he? Because you know they are my... Your elevators. Yeah, the elevators, it's had some troubles this year, and they put the limit down from eight persons max to four. And so he's just, why he was the only person in the lift? I think that's why. Well, you don't call him big hearted because of that.

No. So I'm going to be emailing the body corp management today. Yeah, I think you should. It's a strong worded email. Well, you pay a fee after all. Don't you? You pay a body corp. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. So maybe, I don't know what's up with the lift anyway. So he's in charge of my apartment. He's in charge of your apartment. To be trusted. Very trusted big hearted James. Indeed. He feeds Major Murray Fluffington the cat. He looks in charge of your apartment. To be trusted. Very trusted, big-hearted James. Indeed.

He feeds Major Murray Fluffington the cat. He looks after the place. Yes. To be trusted. But Jared and I were going to Disturbed, and that was at Spark, which is very close to your apartment. And I will say, you said, well, why don't you see if James, you know, is around at home.

And so I said, oh, that'll be great. And I text James saying, hey, do you mind if Jared and I come and have a couple of pre's before we go walk across to the concert? But then I start getting messages Friday night. She's in the kitchen. She's making eggs. Yeah, I saw she made eggs. Well, because I'm on the keto diet and I didn't prepare food.

And you know what happens. I would say you know almost more than anyone what happens if I have drinks and I don't eat. And I got there and I was like, shoot, I haven't organised anything and James is going to get pizzas and I was like, I can't do that. So I opened up Papa's fridge. I see you're doing very well sticking to your run.

Yeah. Did you add some sauerkraut or some cream cheese? No, I went in. I did have some of your cheese. Okay, oh yeah, right. And I knew you wouldn't mind. What cheese are you rocking? He was the sort of like, do you in. I did have some of your cheese. Okay, yeah, right. And I knew you wouldn't mind. What kind of cheese are you rocking? He was the sort of like, do you know what I mean?

Like the cheesed flavoured cheese. What do you mean the cheesed flavoured cheese? Are you shaming my cheese? You know the ones that are like sort of home brandy. That $10 countdown. Oh, yeah. I'm rocking the $10 countdown. What kind of cheese?

It's like asking what kind of white wine the house wine is and it's just medium. It's just white wine. So you know the phrase beggars can't be choosers, right? So I went into your fridge and I thought, what can I have in here?

I rummaged, no mints. For the mints guy, I would have cooked up the mints. Yeah. But you had a tray of eggs and I finished it. I put in the last four eggs,

put in some cheese and I scrambled me some eggs. Okay, good. Then I started having some drinks from your bar cart. Thank you. And then I realised I probably hadn't had enough. Okay. For calories.

Yeah. So I started rummaging again. I found some protein. I was like, oh, man, I'll mix me up a little bit. Oh, gross. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You went food, drinks, protein shake, drinks. It was so rogue.

Just eat some pizza. I know. I was just trying to get calories in. That's gross, protein shake, drinks. It was so rogue. Just eat some pizza. I know. I was just trying to get calories in. That's gross, my dude. Yeah. And I had it with like water. It was old school. And I got your shaker going.

And I was just absolutely moving on in. And I'm like, well, this will be fine. And then you guys went out and I think you came back and there were drinks. Well, I will say, James, when I arrived before Jared, our other friends were already there. Yeah. Yeah. Right, yeah.

So, you know, like, Shawnee's there, Toddy's there. Yeah, look, I know. It was sort of turning into a full rigmarole. It's fine. And then it was like, oh, can Jared come and can he bring a friend and then maybe Maddie's husband can come

and so it turned into a... Yeah, I know, a big party. And that's fine. And I thought, well, I got home yesterday quite late on Sunday and I walk in and everything's nice and clean. That's good. I'm like, a big party. And that's fine. And I thought, well, I got home yesterday quite late on Sunday and I walk in and everything's nice and clean. I'm like, this is great. I'm putting everything away. And then in the bathroom

I notice a stain on my lovely bathroom vanity which looks like it's from makeup. Black makeup. Which will not come out of the bathroom. That could have been Todd. The porous bathroom vanity. No!

No, I didn't do my makeup in the bathroom. Jared? Were you wearing eyeliner to Disturbed? Were you wearing eyeliner to Disturbed? Nah, dog. Well, who made the black stain on the bathroom? I will admit, so I got, because I had a photo, I did a shoot, and I was wearing very

pink, pretty makeup, and I said, because I did a shoot, and I was wearing very pink, pretty makeup, and I said, I simply cannot go to Disturbed like this. So I did pull out my makeup bag, but I pulled it out the table and got a little mirror, and I put some black eyeshadow on. Okay. It was not me. It was not me. I did not put on makeup in your bathroom.

I did take a mirror selfie, but unfortunately I didn't get the vanity in the photo. Oh, I need to submit, because it's custom at Fletcher's house to take a topless photo in the beautiful mirror. Jared has provided it. Oh, you've done it too now? Yeah, yeah. Beautiful. Nipples out. Nipples, great nipples.

Send it to the group chat. You'll send it to the group chat. Fantastic. I would talk to James. I'd talk to Big Heart of James. Well, parties are banned. Parties are banned from my house. No! You're are banned from my house. No! You're all banned from my house. Mum and dad went away and they said you could have a couple of friends over and you ruined it. And you ruined the red open

Facebook invite. But it's the best. There's his nipple photo. It's the best one. Unbelievable. Oh. Well, from now on you'll have to use the downstairs toilet or lock the bathroom. Oh my god, but you know that I pee often. What am I going. I'll lock the bathroom. Oh, my God. But you know that I pee often.

What am I going to do? Risk the elevator. You've got a drain hole in your kitchen. I'll have no other choice. I shall have no other choice, Fletch. Squat over the drain. Oh, you forced my hand. And my bladder. Spotify has a new feature

because that's one of their best features, right? Is that they curate these playlists for you. I'm an iHeartRadio man myself. You're a company man, Warren. I love that. We love that. I deleted Spotify. I actually don't mind even talking about Spotify.

I find them such an inferior product. Me too. Do you know what? I'm only iHeartRadio if I'm not listening to the live radio. If I'm not in my car laughing out loud with Fletch, Fawn and Hayley

every morning. Call me crazy but I love a terrestrial broadcast. Oh yeah. I spend my days at Georgia in my afternoons into the evenings

with Brianne Clint. Yeah. That's how I do my day. But if I am on Spotify I do like the playlists that they make for you. Like daily mix one and it'll be like

a 70s mix and then the next one will be like a metal mix and the next one's like a gym mix and you're like, cool, you kind of got my genres. You know me, you get me. Well, there's a new feature where they can make for you an intimate playlist. Like a love?

A love making playlist. Right, okay. Now, if you've been listening to sex.life, our podcast with Morgan Penn, that was one of the home play tasks was to make an intimate playlist. Okay. And I with Morgan Penn. That was one of the home play tasks was to make an intimate playlist. Okay. And I made myself one.

It's called Sexy Times with lots of S's and Y's. Right, okay. And I curated it pretty much like 70s vibes, like kind of like classic sort of... Or that kind of stuff. Yeah. But this one will do it for you. But people are calling it cursed

because it is choosing the most cooked music and it's curating these intimate playlists with like the most absurd songs. How cooked? Songs with like a Phoebe Bridges song where she's literally just like screams the whole three minutes. Right. At the top of someone's playlist was a song called,

what's it called? We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross and for some reason a lot of people are getting their intimate mixes with really sad songs like Everybody Hurts

so we've had the producers have sent through their intimate mixes Troy Savant, one of your girls How do you do this? Okay, so we've had the producers have sent through their intimate mixes. Troy Savan, one of your girls. How do you do this? Get in trim. Grandad needs help. Just search intimate on Spotify.

So I search and I just go intimate. Here you go, intimate mix. Intimate mix. Oh, wait a minute. There's a whole lot of mixes here. There's sensual mix, catwalk mix, goblin core mix. Goblin core's cool. Goblin core's fun. Yeah, goblin core's real mix. Goblincore's cool. Goblincore's fun.

Goblincore's real fun. Goblincore. I mean, I've got some nice ones, but definitely some sad ones. Look at Carwin's last one. What is goblincore? I simply must know what that is. Guys, one of mine is tantra drums. Hey, Aaron. Do you want me to

take off my brassiere Goblin Corps is an internet aesthetic and subculture inspired by the folklore of goblins centred on celebration of natural ecosystems

usually considered less beautiful by the conventional norms such as soil animals and second hand objects I've got a new favourite genre

I've got to say Simon and Garfunkel doesn't feel like it belongs on mine. You know? Yeah, that's a bit odd. But some of these make sense. I'm like, oh yeah, I get the sexy vibe of them. Well, there you go. Spark up some romance. Oh, Goblin Corps rules. This is actually a really good playlist.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. And this week it's pirate themed. Okay. So if you know any cool facts about pirates, share them with me.

Don't do Vaughn's work. Make my job easier for me. Put in some effort. Put in some effort, yeah. Yeah, listener. No, no, no. It's about time they did put in some effort into the show. Vaughn, you do the work.

I will. I'll collate all the facts that the listeners send me. Okay. Don't do Vaughan's job, bro. That will be my work. No, it's a very interesting one. Pirates. I thought, why are they called pirates?

What's the origin of the term pirates? Because they're irate. They're putting their irate into pirates. No. They're irate that their pies are cold. No. Pirates. No.

Well, they used to have to pay extra rates for pies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Pie shops had Pie rates. No. Well, they used to have to pay extra rates for pies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Pie shops had pie rates. In Greek, the word came from pirates, which means one who attacks. Is that also the Spanish word? Because I've done Duolingo Spanish. Well, then you should know.

Why are you asking Vaughan who hasn't done Duolingo Spanish? No, I would say the Spanish is more likely drawn from the Latin, pirata, which meant sea robber. So in Greek, pirates came from one who attacks, and also people that would make an attempt. So pirates would make an attempt to board. They were someone who was attempting to steal something from you. And do you know in Old English,

there was one word that covered pirates and Vikings? Ah, yeah. I suppose similar sort of... I don't know exactly how it was pronounced. I'm going to enter in here. I'm going to take your stuff. Yeah. The native Old English wincing, which was the word for both pirates and Vikings.

So it comes to us from Greek, the word. Because, you know, Socrates. So it would have been said pirates. Yeah, it would have been. Because of the... Pirates and Vikings. Okay. So it comes to us from Greek, the word. Right. Because, you know, Socrates. So it would have been said Pirates. Yeah, it would have been. Because of the... Pirates. It makes them seem less sort of dangerous. Pirates. Yeah.

Oh, no. Econ, the wee Pirates. They're going to make an attempt. They're going to try their darn best to get aboard our ship and steal our goods. And do they all have the flag? I feel like you should do the pirate flag. Tomorrow is... I've got a fact for tomorrow about the flag.

And the different pirate flags. There are different ones? Are there? No, there's the black one with the white skull and crossbones. That's the flag of Edward of England. That's a pirate flag. Yeah, we'll delve more into that tomorrow. Oh, long tease, long tease from you.

Flags tomorrow. But today's fact of the day is the word pirate comes from an old Greek word, pirates, meaning one who attacks. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- phoner. Now, I read a very interesting article at the end of last week about serial cheaters because... Well, you know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater. Once a cheater, pumpkin eater. Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. Always a cheater.

Once a Peter, Peter, serial cheater. Yep. I think the saying goes. Now, a 2023 study found that 20% of married men 20%... That's one in five, Hayley. Hang on, let me just make this. Bag's not.

Carry the one, two. That is one in five. Thank you. Had admitted to cheating on their partners with the highest rate of infidelity found between 60 to 69 years. Nice. Now, you imagine that that would mean that the longer you go, right,

the more likely you are to cheat. Because you're just over it? Because you've been there for longer. Because you're over it. You're just like, I have stuck with this for 30 years. Why did you cheat on me? I was over it. Honestly, I'm going to be honest with you, man.

I was done. To be honest, you're a lot. You've been very open about your affair that's brewing. It's brewing at an astronomical level. I had such sexy dreams on Saturday night. I woke up and I was like, I need to leave this house and find an affair. I thought that was not the F word you were going to hit when you hit that. I'm going to leave this house and I'm going to burn.

You have told your fiancé, Aaron, that this is a brewing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't even do it behind his back. Yeah, right. I feel like you're doing the affair. I've said this before. It's all backwards, I know. I've got some of the details wrong.

Yeah. 13% of married women admitted to cheating on their spouse. And a psychologist kind of, more men, cheating on the women, then the women cheating on the men. And then a psychologist was like, there's some things behind serial cheaters. Poor impulse control can be a contributing factor, which sometimes-

That's how I get the white stains on my shirt. Yeah, when you put your impulse- I put my impulse up my shirt to spray my armpits, and I spray the wrong way. It's a poor impulse control. And then I get a white- Do you hate when you get the spray run the wrong way, and you get your t-

You burst the t-shirt, eh? And it's like icy cold. That's poor impulse control. No, that's not what they mean. But they mean even looking as deep into conditions such as ADHD, borderline personality disorder, or impulse control disorders can impair because you've got,

it makes you more vulnerable because you don't have the same kind of impulse control. Now, that's not saying everyone with ADHD is going to cheat on their partner, but there's lots of contributing factors. Very fascinating article. I've brought it into the radio world for an anonymous phone-er. I want to know, are you a serial cheater?

Now, I don't know if people... Who's going to ring in and be like, yep? You don't have to ring. You can text 9696. But do we... The challenging part that makes this the impossible phone-er is we don't want people to call in

and be like, I was with a serial cheater. This son of a gun cheated on me a thousand times. No, no, no. It needs to be the person who can admit

they're a serial cheater. But no one's going to ring up and admit that they are a serial cheater. But reading this article. No, but this is not the impossible phone of all. It's anonymous.

Oh, the anonymous phone. This is the anonymous phone. It's anonymous. This should have been the impossible phone. It's anonymous. It's anonymous. It's anonymous. Oh, the anonymous phone-a. This is the anonymous phone-a. It's anonymous. This should have been the impossible phone-a. It's anonymous. It's anonymous. You don't want to be like, hey, yeah, I'm Hayley Sproul here. It's impossimus. Oh boy, I can't stop. It's impossimus.

It's impossimus. It's impossimistic. Okay. Yes, I am. Someone's just texted. Really? More info, please. Okay, give us more info. It's completely anonymous. Yes, because the reason I'm asking is because in this article, people were saying, yes, and this is why. Sometimes it's a turn on.

Sometimes it's like a kink thing. Sometimes it's this impulse control. Sometimes you're wanting more. La, la, la, la. Wow, wow, wow. You all doubted me. Did anyone message in? We have had so many messages.

And this is judgment free. It is, absolutely. To be said. So the anonymous phone-in topic, we want to hear from you this morning. Are you a serial cheater? Because I was reading an article about the stats on cheating,

why people cheat more than once. Do you think most people would assume men are more likely to cheat? But it's just as... Well, the stats. Didn't you have stats? Yeah, well, the stats said 20% of men, 13% of women admitted to cheating in their marriage.

But our text machine is almost saying different. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. You want some? Yeah, go. I've cheated on my husband three times, all with women,

and I'd most likely do it again. Just tell him. Tell him. There's obviously like an unscratched itch there, you know what I mean? And that chair in the hotel, I mean, it's there for a reason. It's got a name. The chair has a name.

It's a comfortable chair that never gets used for anything other than putting a suitcase on. Also, if you're a boyish woman, send Hayley the photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I've got a fear of brewing. You've got a fear of brewing, yeah. I don't know if that's what you're up to. Some of the messages, if you're a boyish woman, send Hayley the photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I've got a fair brewing. You've got a fair brewing. And if this is what you're up to. Some of the messages,

I love the partners I'm with, but I just simply can't help myself. But it's like... But it's an impulse control thing. But also, it's human though, isn't it? Yeah. Are we meant to be monogamous? I would say my stance on monogamy,

oh God, it's rapidly changing. I look at my parents' lovely marriage and I've never wanted anything else, but... La-la-la-la-la. You know? I've cheated on my partner five times over a 17-year span. I'm now a loyal partner and believe cheaters can change after a few attempts.

All the cheating I did was because I was not happy with the way my partner treated me. He finally learnt me to treat me good and I stopped my naughtiness. Ah, okay. Communication there. You're like blaming them though, eh? No!

You very much put the blame on the foot of somebody else. They weren't treating you any good. Leave, you know? And then it's not called cheating anymore. It's just called being single. I have cheated on my wife three times and she knows about one of them. I have ADHD and it's not cool

but she's still with me and it's been nine months since I last cheated Okay Interesting I love that people are admitting this I love this, thank you for being open Does watching adult films count as cheating? I mean, for me, 1000% no

But some people are Maybe it's a conversation with your partner to be like, do you mind me watching these things? Because some people don't like it, do they? They do see it as cheating. What about liking a hot model's photo on Instagram? Is that cheating? You're all good.

But you're asking the wrong crowd. So many messages. We'll get to the rest next. Olivia Rodrigo. Also, you never like the photos, you amateur. We asked you for the anonymous phone-in topic today. More of an anonymous text-in topic, to be honest, because no one is admitting to this in voice.

Yep. On the phone, on the radio. Happy with the texts, guys. Got so many messages. Are you a serial cheater? Yeah. Once a cheater, always a cheater. No, well, no.

Other people are texting and saying that's not the case. Does anyone have a good disguised voice? Oh, yeah, like when I was a, yeah. I know you've got a lot of luck. No, that was weird. When the police came over, I hid the weapons. That's what it's like. That was Helen Clark in disguise.

That was real Helen Clark. Yes, Helen, I've got great policies up for what it's like. That was Helen Clark in disguise. That was real Helen Clark. Yes, Helen, I've got great policies for the artist's benefit. We've got to support the artist's for the art is integral. 33-year-old female reformed cheetah hair. Okay.

11 years strong with my partner after the ex left me. Ongoing therapy and a very functional arrangement with partner now keeps me in check. What does that mean? A very functional arrangement? Does that mean a pass card? I think so. An open...

Yeah. If you've got needs, they can be met. There's lots of rules though with open relationships. Only when I'm out of town, only when we're in different countries, only did a little loo,

only if he's, you know, filming in New Zealand. Only if their name starts with J. Yeah. A-S-O-N space M-A-R-E. Only if they're from Hawaii and they're massive. Do you know what I mean? The specifics.

You have to be very specific. Somebody else said, I have ADHD too. I've never been into cheating. I've never even felt the need to cheat. I feel like by mentioning it in the article, it was like, this could be one reason. And somebody else said, hooray, I have ADHD

so now I can cheat guilt free. No, no, no. Not what I meant. Not what's happening. It's almost like no calories on a Friday, isn't it? Then no calories on a Friday, nor Saturday, nor Sunday or Monday. My partner cheated on me when I was pregnant with him with his ex heaps.

We broke up and got back together after a year. I cheated on him two years later because he A bit of tit for tat. A bit of tit for tat. I neveraps. We broke up and got back together after a year. I cheated on him two years later because he... A bit of tit for tat. A bit of tit for tat. I never told him we broke up anyway. Now we're back together. I'm baby number two and I haven't told him. I feel guilty about it because I know he'll leave.

Nah, leave it in the past. Because it was with his friend, but he cheated on me over 20 times with his ex. So first of all, what we're seeing here, ladies and gentlemen, is the basis, the foundations of a happy relationship yeah I'd maybe I'd maybe chuck it I wouldn't tell him

I'd get in a room with a therapist eventually but don't worry about it for now it'll all spill out when you're paying 280 bucks an hour

yeah it all comes because when you're paying that much money you're like I'm gonna tell the truth this is costing me too much to lie

lies are free the truth costs Borton Smith on therapy. If you're paying that amount of money, you hit him with everything. Yeah. You dropped an ice cream when you were four? Bring it up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're paying. You're paying. Something you kind of thought about once, bring it up. You're paying for it. Yeah. I was with my ex for seven years

and shared it on with 10 different people. It was more of an attention thing. He never provided me the attention that I need, so I went and found it elsewhere. We were comfortable, so I never split up. I ended up leaving him and finding someone else who I'd been with, who I'd been with for three years and have never

thought about cheating on him because I get the sort of attention I need. Yeah, right. You should do what I do is I walk into a room and I have just taken off my top and I say, Aaron! And that's how I get his attention. It's just a little tip. Sometimes I throw him something and he's like,

what? What do you need? Yeah. Entertain me. Oh, gosh. I've cheated on my husband. This is a text.

Okay. This isn't just me having a, I'm paying for this, I might as well tell everybody. Yeah. Well, you don't have a husband, so we didn't think it was you.

I know, I thought you might have thought I was telling the whole story. You've got a husband. And a wife. When do we get to meet him? I knew you built that massive garage for something. Oh, it's for the tractor.

All I'll say is that old Asian man at my house isn't my father-in-law. I knew it. When he picked us up the other day, I knew there was chemistry. I've cheated on my husband because he doesn't touch me anymore. Married 34 years and I'm seriously over the groundhog day of my relationship. I reckon you've got to address that. I'm not a relationship expert.

But if he doesn't want to touch you, then surely you'd be allowed to go out and play, right? Remember, yes. But maybe that needs to be an open agreement. Yeah. Judgment free. Remember 33-year-old female reformed cheater or leaving you strong with partner after ex left, ongoing therapy, functional arrangement.

We're like, what's the functional arrangement? It's being in an open relationship. They're allowed a girlfriend and are also allowed to seek additional partners. So what they've done there is it's not cheating because it's a contract. Yeah, they've got a treaty. Polyamory though is their titty-titty.

Their titty-titty. Their titty-titty. They love titty. Their titty-titties. Yes. Hey, guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. See, I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes.

Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no, we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say nice. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts

that the company makes. Yeah. No, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah, don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.