ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 18th March, 2025

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

Would you get a tattoo from a 9 year old Kiwi contestant's BTS of the chase SLP - Do you know your partner's body count? More nostalgic = more friends Top 6 other things that will cause your car to crash Hayley and Vaughan's St Paddys Day Shannon's Hack Did you catch your parents doing it? White Lotus Hotel Jamie - MAFS contestant IV Emergency contact trend Fact of the Day What happened in the work bathrooms?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fletchbourne and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Got a big guest on the show this morning. Oh, I'm so excited. Do you know I like chucked, I just like, I got out of bed late this morning and I was like, oh, I'll just chuck on a, no we're gonna guess.

Jamie from Maths, who honestly, I feel like every season has a star and she's mine. Yeah, that's why Vaughan and I dressed up this morning with a T-shirt and shorts. I know, black. Is that your sleep nightie? No, it's just a black T-shirt. It's not my sleep nightie. It's good to not come to work in your pyjamas when we've got such a lovely guest on the show. Also, you see, Crute Sound's still at $50,000 cash.

Next chance is to call through during our show at 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock. There's a concert announcement as well happening at 8 this morning. Well, there's kind of the info will come out at 8, and we're going to have some tickets around 8.30 after Fact of the Day. That's right. So we'll give you all the details then and a chance to win. But the top six is on the way. Yeah, all four wheels fell off a car in Dunedin yesterday

and police have reported it caused it to crash. Did it? Is that a prank? Did someone undo the nuts? I don't know. That's dangerous if they did. It's wild though. I've got the top six other things that will definitely cause your car to crash. Next on the show though.

You know I'm on my tattoo bars at the moment. Are you booking in a tattoo? I've got Booking in a tattoo I've got two booked In Australia so far And maybe I might need To head to Thailand Because there's a tattoo artist That's making waves over there

Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley I'm gonna I'm gonna give his name A red hot go Okay Nipat is his first name Metamak

Metamakorn Okay Korn as in the band. Yeah. This is a Thai name. It's a Thai name. Napat is a nine-year-old. Okay.

Who is like killing it in the tattoo scene of Thailand. Now, if you haven't been to Thailand, tattooing is one of like the main reasons people go. That's like, it's huge over there. There's tattoo studios everywhere in Bangkok and all the big cities. And there's a lot of drunken regret after full moon parties. Full moon parties.

We settled up and watched someone get a tattoo at 2am and it was like a sheep saying moo and the person getting it done thought it was real funny and they were like, get it, get it. And I was like, yep. But there's also, there's that side of like the tattoo tourism of like you go to Thailand, you get a bad tattoo. But there's that side of the tattoo tourism of like, you go to Thailand, you get a bad tattoo.

But there's also like, it's huge for some of the best tattoo studios in the world. You just got to research it and people go and they get full back pieces and leg pieces and stuff. So Nipat's parents were worried that he was addicted to screens. Okay. And that he was like, you know, on his phone playing all the games and stuff. So they're like, get off your phone. They confiscated his phone. Then he got addicted to gaming on the television. And they're like, we know, on his phone, playing all the games and stuff. So they're like, get off your phone. They confiscated his phone.

Then he got addicted to gaming on the television. And they're like, we need to get you outside. So his father, who was a tattoo enthusiast, was like, should we learn how to tattoo? Like, let's just, and you buy these like practice skins and stuff. And they started learning on TikTok and YouTube. What do you mean practice skins?

Don't you buy pork? You can buy pork, but you can buy, because I follow lots of tattoo artists. You buy these like real skin synthetic skin so you can practice a real feeling of skin. Bought all the gear, bought a gun and stuff

and he just wanted to like stimulate Nipat's brain and then he picked up the skill really quickly. He's actually like amazing. I was trying to you can't really see in this but like he's not doing little doodles. He's actually like amazing. I was trying to, you can't really see in this, but like he's not doing little doodles. He's doing like full.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy moly. Big traditional pieces. That looks like it's been carbon copied on, but I don't know. That's how you do it, a stencil. Right, I don't know much about tattoos. So you'd like draw it on your laptop

or on your pen or something, and then you print it onto this carbon thing and then you stick it on and they use it as a stencil. He's like amazing. Would you? No. For a story, get a tattoo from a nine-year-old.

Probably. I would too. If he was that good. If he was, and he's good and you saw his book and stuff. But not if he was like rubbish and it was just some crappy Pokemon.

No, dude, I'd love a crappy Pokemon tattoo. I was in a family with a free handsome shitty Pikachu tattoo. Yeah. I think we found your first tattoo. I was in a family someone freehand some shitty Pikachu tattoo. Yeah. I think we found your first tattoo

in Thailand by a nine year old. Nine year old Pikachu. Just freehand it. I don't want it photocopied on him. I just want him to have a go. So you know how

there's like tattoo expos around the world and they tattoo and all this stuff. He's going to the big Thailand tattoo expo. He's doing a massive 20 centimetre serpent

that's going to take him 12 hours to complete. Like he's like fully in. That's wild that you can get a kid to concentrate on anything for 12 hours. But that was the problem. His parents' wife's got a short attention span because of like TikTok and all that.

Well, I went to the movies and some kids were in there and they couldn't sit still. They wouldn't shut up. They kept like moving around. I was like, have some respect. Did you yell at them like an old man? Yeah.

Or I shushed them. Oh, yeah. And then disappointing at the end when the lights came on, their dad was in the middle of it the whole time. Oh. Or I shushed them. Oh, yeah. And then disappointing at the end when the lights came on, their dad was in the middle of it the whole time. Oh, dad,

you do the parenting. He paid. I think he must have paid to take them. That's wild behaviour, isn't it? Wild. Well, I want to go,

now I'm just like, maybe. Well, do you know everybody's going to Thailand because White Lotus. I know. And I mean, it's Thailand. Thailand's amazing. It's my favourite place

in the world, Thailand. I love it. I feel like next time I go to Thailand if the planets aligned I'd totally get a tattoo from nine year old Nipat.

The Chase is on every day possible. It's the new friends for TV One. It's TV One's friends. Is it one of New Zealand's most watched shows do you reckon?

Yeah. It is, isn't it? Yeah. Didn't it isn't it? Yeah. Didn't it at one stage, it might have been during COVID when everyone had had enough, it was out right in the news because people would get to it and then it'd be like, next. And they'd be like, ugh. Ugh, I don't want to see.

Yeah, I remember talking to a TVNZ exec once about, oh, we've got to have a New Zealand chase. And he was like, why? Why? The UK one's perfect. Yeah. And it's cheaper than making our own production and paying the licensing fee. Yeah, totally. We'll just keep getting that one. And then we cheaper than making our own production and paying the licensing fee.

Yeah, totally. We'll just keep getting that one. And then we'll do a New Zealand one and everyone will be like, before you said you were going to be host, the host isn't as good as Bradley Walsh. That's what they would say. No.

Oh, no, they'd say that. They'd say that regardless. They'd say ugly, ugly fat cow. She thinks she's so funny. They'd say stuff like that. God, it's been a while since I've been on telly. Brutal world. Radio's so lovely.

They love a bit of brutal feedback in the telly world. So they've talked to a 30-year-old Aucklander who's living in Liverpool who was on the chase. And what it's like being on the chase. Willis said, they asked, why did you want to go on the chase? And he said, well, I used to love sitting down with a Prosecco

and watching the chase on the television. A Prosecco and watching the chase. Prosecco and some quiz questions. Booked flights to move to the UK and they said, well, now that you're over there, you'll be able to go on the chase on the television. Prosecco and watching the chase. I love the chase. Prosecco and some quiz questions. Yeah. Booked flights to move to the UK, and they said, well, now that you're over there, you'll be able to go on the chase.

Loves a pub quiz, so thought, I'll give it a go. Do friends and family tell you you're good at general knowledge? And he said, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I've always loved quizzes and general knowledge, and I'll go down Wikipedia rabbit holes on random topics.

Oh, this is Aaron. This is Aaron. Okay. Very good general knowledge. So, applied to be a contestant on the chase long application where who you are where you're from what makes you interesting obviously because they need that story at the front yeah then you were um the way they did it with him they set up a zoom with a group of potential contestants and producers and had a

chance to chat to them and then the next stage is that you're selected so i guess in that in that stage they're looking for people that are kind of outgoing and not shy. Yeah. Sometimes you'll see someone on the chase and you'll be like, how did they make it through the audition? Very like quiet. Yeah. But maybe they got nervous in front of a studio audience.

So it's filmed just outside of London. They say they cover the costs and everything and reimburse you a meal when you're down there. That's nice. I wonder if they play with alcohol like they did on the Jerry Springer show. No, I don't think so. I don't think you can be sloppy during a quiz show.

You know that documentary where they're like, we're going to fly you in, we're going to take you out, you're going to get absolutely hammered. Then we're going to pick you up at 4am. Deprive you of sleep. And quiz you up. And then quiz you so you don't win. So you meet the people you're going to be on the team with a few hours before. Yeah.

Mostly because you get hair and makeup and clothing all done together. That's what would make me nervous. Like, who's my team? It's all about the team. Because do they dress you or do you need to go buy a nice... I reckon you just have your own thing. They would require them having so much clothes. So just wear jeans and a nice top. It's a dowdy contestant So just wear jeans and a nice top.

Doughty contestants. Yeah, jeans and a nice top. Yeah. Completely appropriate. He said he didn't think he was going to be nervous, then got super nervous when it was his turn, even though Bradley Walsh was a consummate professional and tried to make me as comfortable as possible.

Oh, thank God. I hate it when people go like, what it's like to be on this show? And they're like, the host was really rude and standoffish. Yeah. Not our Bradley. But like slick ass. Bit like those Bake Off, New Zealand Bake Off contestants. Yeah, I've heard. But like slick ass. But like those bake-off, New Zealand bake-off contestants.

Yeah, I've heard that as well. They were like horrible. Spat. I think the female host spat. Yeah. And then face-off against Sean Wallace. Yeah. Didn't make it through.

Got knocked out in the head-to-head. Oh, did he? Yeah. I wouldn't have done a Q&A if I got knocked out in the head-to-head. No, no. I would have been like, oh, look, I'll just leave that for no one to hopefully see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you on the chase?

No. No, no, no. The last thing you want to do is panic or waste time not answering or getting hung up on the wrong answer. Just say pass. Yeah, just say pass. It all went really quickly. Once it started, I managed to get five questions right in the cash builder, which wasn't too bad. That's five grand start.

But then got knocked out in the head-to-head. Got a little wank. And he said, the one thing is, you know, when they first go, when Bradley Walsh is like, where are you from, mate? And he's like, New Zealand. And he's like, oh, lovely place, blah, blah, blah. He said that chat went for 20 minutes. Oh, wow.

And it gets edited down to like 20 seconds. Yeah, I've always thought it was edited down. God, that's got to be a long record, though, because then that's over an hour of just the chats. Really long record. He said he doesn't know how Bradley Walsh does it because it's such a long day

from start to end. And because they'd film a few eps in one day, wouldn't they? I think that's what they do, right? They just book them for weekends and stuff and then just hammer it out

over a few weekends. Oh, gosh. Wow. So, yeah. I mean, I'm sure. I'd be terrible on it. I've got bad general knowledge. And then panicky. And panicky. Wow. So, yeah. I mean, I'm sure. I'd be terrible on it. I've got bad general knowledge. And then panicky.

And panicky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like a performer. I'll always be doing jokes. They'll be like, what's the answer to this? I'll be like, what's the answer to this?

And they'll be like, no, not gags. Stop gags, mate. Not gags. Answer is bad. It's not gags, it's answers. Play. ZM.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole.

Silly Little Pole. Silly, what was that for? Funny message. Silly Little Pole. Do you know how many people your partner has slept with? There was an article in the Daily Mail about a woman who has kept, we've talked about these, the list. Yeah.

Where we write down the name of everyone. Was it over summer we read out people's notes? Yes. In podcast specials we read out people's notes because apparently the galleys are keeping like a list in their notes folder. A little, and maybe a little descriptive thing. Red hair. Barry. Yeah, Barry. Barry.

Barry fell short. Barry very thorough. Woodbang Barry again. Five stars Barry. Stephen. We don't talk about Stephen. Anyway, the husband found this list and was like,

how many people? Oh, right. None of your business. None of your business. Like, who cares? Yeah. It was beforehand. As long as it's not continuing throughout

without his knowledge, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine if you were like, Aaron's number's 30. No, no, not anymore. Sorry? It's up to 37. What? Do you know how many people your partner has slept with?

52% of people said no. Do you know your Aaron's? Yeah, I do. Oh, yeah. It's not 30. I just said 30. Do you think that he lied to partner has slept with? 52% of people said no. Do you know your errands? Yeah, I do. Oh, yeah. It's not 30. I just said 30. Do you think that he lied to you when he said his number or was honest? Nah, he knows mine.

I'd probably round down, I reckon. Oh, I did some severe Swedish rounding. Oh, did you? I sort of put Sweden all together. Your Scandinavian rounding. Norwegian all together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scottish all together.

And then came up with like five-ish. Yeah. Yeah. Well, 48% of people thus do know how many people their partner has slept with. That's shocking. Yeah, interesting. Is it that it's embarrassing to tell or that you're like, who cares? It could be either, really, couldn't it?

Yeah. Could be either, either. No, I'm just going to go through the other screencaps. I just sent the group to find the screencaps. What were the screencaps you sent the group? We'll talk about it later. Hannah said, yeah, but we just pretend we were both virgins before we met each other. Oh, yeah, nice.

The secret to your success, Hannah. That's absolutely fine. Oh, cute. Noobs says, I've told him mine, but he hasn't told me his, which now I think of it doesn't seem fair. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Run. But again, he could be embarrassed. Noob's partner, run. Or it could be like, okay, yeah. Or yeah, maybe he's shy. We've made a thing now. She's not going to let that go.

Yeah, yeah. This is a fight. Georgiana says, my number is atrocious. Outrageous, Outrageous. Okay. And I know my husband's would be, like, five, so no way in hell I'm ever going to ask so I don't have to lie about mine. Oh, yeah.

Nice, fair. Cute. Let sleeping dogs lie, I think is the saying that applies. My number is outrageous. I love that. Good for you. You've lived a life. Ben, he doesn't know how many he's slept with,

so there's no way I'd be able to work it out. Oh, Ben. We're sat in another fight. Jacqueline says, it's none of my business who he's slept with before me. He doesn't know how many I've slept with either and we've been happily married for a very long time. Yeah, doesn't matter.

It's not a number that matters to them. It doesn't matter. Let's all say ours. Three, two. None. 32. Three, two, 2, None. 3, 2, 1, go. 321. No, it's giving us a 3, 2, 1

countdown and then we say our number. Ready? 3, 2, 1. Fletch, you go because your number's got more digits. You got way more digits. I thought Vaughan would go first. No, you go first because you got the biggest score.

You got the highest score. Because your number will take longer to say. I honestly have no idea. It would be low. It's low. Okay. Because people look at me and they think there's a stud. He's probably shagged around the world.

He's probably topped upwards of 100. Yeah. Would they say that? That's what they'd say. Okay. But they'd be sadly mistaken. And exactly what qualifies as a number? I don't know.

I'm getting a little excited. I'm finishing during dry hunting. Does that count? Is that one or is that a half? That's not on the list. That's a.5. Okay, that's a.5. But they all add up, don't they?

They all add up. A couple of.5s, you've got yourself a one. Pennies and dimes, baby. It all adds up. Pennies and dimes. I know his. He doesn't know mine. Pennies and dimes, baby. It all adds up. Pennies and dimes. I know his. He doesn't know mine. Our numbers are very, very different.

But they don't say. That makes it sound like hers was higher, right? Right. I really want to know, but the judgment slash insecureness that I know will come with it in my head doesn't make it worthwhile. What is that? It is weird that people would feel that way. Like you're with them now. It doesn't matter, does it?

I don't care. Just each other, says Zoe. Oh, Zoe. Been together since we were 15 and we're now 35. One person. Yeah. That's wild, isn't it? That's real.

Do you reckon at 40 we, like, do a week off? Oh, no, they're, like, mid-40s. Should we just try a thing? Mid 40s swingers clubs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They get in there. The hot young couple at the swingers clubs

because everybody else is like in their 60s and stuff. Do you reckon that couples that have only been with each other would make up a higher proportion of those that do

get into that kind of lifestyle later? Yeah, maybe. Or maybe not. You're missing something. I'm not saying you're missing something but maybe that's the feeling. You're missing something. Yeah, not saying you're missing something, but maybe that's the feeling.

You're missing something. Yeah, but then they could be completely content for the rest of their life. Yeah. Which is nice to be content. It is cute. Nice to be content. Marie says, the past is in the past.

How would it benefit me to know? Yeah. Beautiful frozen quote there. Good question there. The past is in the past. The past is in the past. Weird hearing it said past, not past. The past is in the past. Weird hearing it said past, not past. The past is in the past.

No, says Angela. I don't know his number, but I'm pretty sure it shitloads less than me. We've got a stud on our hands. Get it. That is silly little pun. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. I come to you with a worldwide study.

Across America, across the United States, that's the same place. Same place. Across Europe is what I meant to say. Yeah. And the Asias. This study looked into lifelong friendships, people who hold on to friendships and have a lot of friends as a result because you're not kind of like cycling them through

and chucking them out as you're done with them. Getting new ones every couple of years. Freshening. Yeah. Freshening them up. That's me. This is why this study took my fancy because I make friends and hold on to them

and then I just sort of gather them like a snowplow. Oh, that's because I heard You're like a sheep dog and these people are all sheep. You're heading them into the truck. Well apparently that means that I am a more nostalgic person. Which makes sense. Breaking this down it's basically

you hold on to older friendships and you put a lot of value on them because you're like that was a time in my life and then I want to carry that memory with me forever. When you were an emo goth. When I was an emo goth. At Manor's Mall.

At Manor's Mall. Ayla was there. You want to hold on to those friends and memories. Exactly. And then when we get together, we sit there and we go, God, remember Manor's Mall in the time that we had. Do you not, have you drifted away from any of these old friends? I definitely have. And more like, I think it's interesting as you get older

when you're like, I sort of want to not have a lot of friends who when we get together all we talk about is the past. Yeah. Or the one thing

we have in common. Yeah. Whereas like, the friends you take from those times and they come along with you through your life so you've got other things

to talk about. Yeah. I value those friendships very highly. But no, you don't keep all of them. And then every now and then you might go far out we haven't seen each other for years let's hang out yeah and you reminisce about the good old days and be a bit nostalgia yep but yeah you're not like i'm not texting you when i'm i thought you were supposed to say i haven't seen you for ages let's catch up soon and then just never do that. I do a lot of that. Oh my God, it's been so long. I do a lot of that.

We've got to catch up soon. And then when the conversation runs dry from, you know, the good old days, it's like, oh. And now what? Yeah. Yeah. Should we have a drink? Do you know what I mean?

Because now I don't know what else to do. Should we crank some MyChem and go past the Manor's Mall again for old time's sake? You get to Manor's Mall, you're like, it's really swish now. Yeah. This is not the Manor's Mall again for old times sake. You get to Manor's Mall, you're like, it's really swish now. Yeah, this is not the Manor's Mall we loitered about. Is this a shared zone now? Oh, gosh. So, yeah,

apparently. Nostalgia. I mean, I love being nostalgic, but I gotta move on after a while. Gotta have some balance. When the time comes that I leave radio, you know what I mean, what else are we gonna talk about? You won't be friends with us I mean. What else are we going to talk about? You won't be friends with us. The two of you.

Because all we talk about is radio. Yeah. All the time. All the time. That's all we do. When you guys, listeners, are listening to the songs, we're just going radio. Radio, radio, radio. We talk about buttons and microphones and stuff. I mean I could read out a group chat. Don't. Please don't.

Please don't. Because you know when you just said when I leave radio, if he reads out the group chat. Don't. Please don't. Please don't because, you know, when you just said, when I leave radio, if he reads out the group chat, it might be as soon as 9am. As soon as HR get here. So it was on Friday that Dunedin Police attended an accident, Brighton Road, in Brighton, 8pm. All the vehicle's wheels fell off and the vehicle remained in the middle of the road. This is the Dunedin story you expect in the news. Yeah.

Because you know the students this year started all like taming stuff. I know. Everyone was like, we're so proud of them, no burnt couches. Yesterday. Burned a couch. Yesterday. What? Yeah, they made up for it in droves.

Oh, my God. Did they what? Such a naughty St. Patrick's Day, Dunedin. They burned a couch, but then also a dead wallaby. They threw a dead wallaby and they chucked a dead wallaby on the fire. Now, wallaby's an invasive species, but that's weird, eh? That's a bit psychotic. It's a bit yucky, smelly. What are we doing? Barbec a dead wallaby on the fire. Now, wallaby's an invasive species, but that's weird, eh? That's a bit psychotic. It's a bit yucky, smelly.

What are we doing? Barbecuing this wallaby. Well, as I said before, this guy spent all day changing his tires. Shouldn't take that long. But anyway, and he still didn't do it right, because then he said it to a 16-year-old associate who also held no license. 16! 16, the 29-year-old who is forbidden from driving.

The front left tyre flew off. Then that caused the car to veer to the left. Suddenly the front right tyre fell off. And then it started aggressively spinning down the middle of the road. While spinning, the back two tyres fell off. It continued to spin and hit a power pole and airbags were deployed. Jeepers. Are they all right?

Oh, my God. Please tell me. No one is injured No alcohol was involved Please tell me Someone has A camera M cam

M cam footage Something you know Like doorbell cam Or some security Backyard footage Certainly hope so These are wheels Flying off

Well I've got the Top six things That I will say At this stage I'm no mechanic No But I've got the Top six things

That will also Cause your car to crash Okay Number six on the list Your car somehow Turns six things that will also cause your car to crash. Okay. Number six on the list, your car somehow turns into a jelly. That will cause the car to crash. Yeah, I'd imagine so. The jelly does not have the structural integrity to remain

a vehicle. If someone was to use one of their genie wishes to turn your car to jelly, you can expect it would crash. Number five on the list of the top six things, again, I will say I'm no mechanic, but I believe would lead your car to crash if it somehow found itself upside down. Yep.

That would be, your car would crash. Yep. You're spinning on your roof all of a sudden. You're driving and then all of a sudden, your rip's on your roof. I shouldn't be upside down. Were you drunk on St. Patrick's Day Guinness when you wrote this?

No, no, this is just something I learned by some thorough Googling. Okay, right. This would cause your car to crash. Okay. Number four on the list of the top six things, and again, I will take this time

to remind you, I'm no mechanic. He's a doctor, not a mechanic. I'm a doctor of people, not of cars. Things that will cause your car to crash.

If all the bolts and screws just undid themselves all at the same time, that would cause your car to crash. It would. And just completely fall to pieces.

Number three on the list of the top six ways, top six things that will cause your car to crash. Again, I will remind you, I'm not a mechanic. Number three is if you all of a sudden magically shrunk to the size of a Lego man

and you couldn't reach anything, steering wheel, brakes, anything, and you're already driving, that will cause the car to crash. Well, eventually it would slow down because my foot's not on the accelerator either. Right? Yeah, but I think you just...

No one's driving. You drift. Smash, you either go off the road or smash into someone that is on the road. Number two on the list of the top six things that would cause your car to crash

if gravity stopped working. People don't know this, but cars depend quite heavily on gravity doing its part. It caused quite a few problems, I'd say. Yeah, if gravity stopped. Oh, God, yeah.

Well, most of all, we'd probably float up to the ceiling of the studio and not be able to get out the door. Yeah. I bet you could swim. We could swim like Grandpa Joe. That's right, in Charlie and the Trucker Factory.

And number one on the list of the top six things that will cause your car to crash again, not a mechanic, but if the road turns into a stream and all the cars turn into boats except for your car, it stays a car, that's technically a crash and you'll sink

and your car will cease to be a functioning motor vehicle. Sometimes, something tells me that this is quite silly, this top six. Is it silly top six, do you think? Silly. Well, as silly as all four wheels falling off a car on a drive. Very silly. That's the real silly part.

That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. I didn't realise, so I'm 6% Irish Vaughan how Irish are you? 11 I always thought it was the majority

No I'm Scottish I'm actually more Irish than both of you 14% And yet And yesterday On the Irish holiday of St Patrick's Day Yeah

Is it actually a national holiday in Ireland? I don't know It's a well celebrated day I mean I know everybody goes, I know everybody goes to the pub, but is it like their white-tongue-y day? Yesterday I was in a rehearsal room in central CBD Auckland and

everyone was out and about around the Irish pubs around town and there was this group in front of me that were all in their green and orange and stuff and one of the girls couldn't stop hiccuping. Oh, that's the worst. I was like, oh hon. You do get a day off in Ireland for St. Patrick's Day.

It's one of 10 public holidays in Ireland each year. Oh, wow. There you go. Yesterday after the show, Vaughan and I decided to celebrate our Irish heritage. You were invited as the most Irish in this whole world. I believe your words were, ooh, yuck, yuck, yuck, no way. And we said we'd get you a little Prosecco. It was like 10 a.m.

I was like, no, I've got to go home. I've got to have lunch. And then I had the gym. Yeah. Stout as a breakfast beer. Well, that's the thing. We ended up, we went to this pub and they didn't have Guinness. And then they had an Irish stout.

And then they didn't, it took half an hour. Well, the tap wasn't connected. And then we downloaded an app. The tap wasn't connected on St. Patrick's Day? To the one Irish thing. Although it was 10 a.m. Yeah. It was St. Patrick's Day. the one Irish thing. Although it was 10am. It was St. Patrick's Day. To be fair. To be fair, to be fair.

Eventually we did find ourselves just down the road, a classic Irish pub. The flags were out, the balloons were out. The bartender who she was rinsed man. She had a big Sunday night because I think they'd just been doing

St Patrick's Day all weekend right okay she was rough and she knew it her eyes were doing that thing

where she was just like come on eyes they were a bit watery and a bit dry but bless her she had an Irish accent I love receiving a pint of Guinness

from an Irish person especially when it's in a plastic glass because they can tell today's going to be a trouble day. Yeah. So we were going to do like a whole, you know,

split the G thing in celebration of our Irish, our rich, deep Irish heritage. Our collective 17%. She brings them over to the table because, as you know, you need to let them settle. Settle. Yeah. You know.

Yeah. Because what happens when you just pour a pint? Before you, what, poke the G, did you say? What did you say? I don't know. Mate, don't poke the G. Don't poke the G. Split the G.

Split the G. What does that mean? So you get a Guinness filled up, poured perfectly, and you go sip, sip, sip, and then when you put it back down on the table, where the black lines go, it's got to be sitting perfectly on the crossbar of the capital G. Okay.

But she puts down two plastic pint glasses that don't have any Guinness written on them in preparation for, I guess, an unruly day. So we were already disappointed. And the first one went down a tree. So we said... You had two? We said at 10am. Hard not to have two. Hard not to have two. The first one's

just, you know, reintroducing yourself. You'd be on board. Lots of prebiotics. Get out. It's a fully rounded meal. But then you I actually Googled it. You'd be on board. Lots of prebiotics. They're great for health. Get out, get out. It is, it is. It's a fully rounded meal. But then you went to the gym. So then on the drive home from there,

I slammed a protein shake with some, what's that stuff in it called? Creatine. Creatine in it. And immediately I was like, that's not sitting well. That's not sitting good at all. See, I made the wise choice of not going to the gym.

I did the full workout. And at the end, I had to lie on the ground and be like, but because we'd had two beers and then the gym, it was straight time to go pick up August from school. So I had a full round of day. Right. I had a full day.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I wouldn't be running on a treadmill after a couple of guineas. And there are certainly some people today that won't be running on a treadmill at all. No. They'll be running between on a treadmill at all. No. They'll be running between the bed and the bathroom. Delicious. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Back with another hack, Shannon. Now, your last one fell short. The one before got five stars, but we revoked it because it was getting people in trouble in their workplace. We don't stand for it. Yeah, so I've thought, I want to get five stars again.

I want to get a jingle. So I'm going back to the theme of the hack that got me five stars. How to have a break at work. Slacking off at work. Yeah, love that. But this one won't get banned in your workplace because they can't ban it.

Okay. So my plan is to set up your phone at home in a position that a security camera could be. Now, some people have them in their houses, but I'm more thinking out by the front door. Yeah, I've got some around my house on the outside. Perfect. Now what I need you to do is get Aaron or your mum or a friend to walk past your phone and fake a fall. Oh, okay.

Right, okay. Maybe just have a little whoa and lie there for Oh, okay. Right, okay. Maybe just have a little whoa, whoa, whoa and lie there for a few minutes. Right. Then take that footage and when you're at work and your boss is being really annoying or telling you to get back to work,

panic, start, this is an acting gig, grab your phone and say, oh my goodness, you won't believe what's just happened. Look at my security camera. Okay. My partner's had a fall. I simply must leave. Boom. So bad.

Let's play this out. This is terrible. Why don't you just get footage off your security camera of your partner having a fall? I'm trying to make it accessible because not everyone has security cameras. So you're faking it, recording it, then bringing it in the next day. If you've got a security camera, that would make it next level

because you'd be able to tell. But I reckon if you put your phone high enough and maybe put a little grainy filter on it. This really comes down to acting. Let's do it. Let's pretend we're doing a normal break and I'll perform this out how I would do it. Okay.

No, but you're an actor. You say Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, ZM. That was Do a very good one. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, ZM. Okay. That was Doja Ray. Okay, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Doja Ray. Doja Ray. That's Doja Ray role.

Now- I've got a study here. Eight out of 10 people, apparently- Are you taking the- Bing. Bing. View their partner as a woman.

Oh my God. What's happened? Oh my God. I'm just in the middle of a study. I'm sorry as a woman. Oh, my God. What's happened? Oh, my God. I'm just in the middle of a study. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to be so rude. My security camera's just dinged. Oh, my God.

Aaron's had a terrible fall. He's six foot six. I've got to go home. Oh, my God. Show me. Show me. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Oh, my goodness.

He's on the ground. He's on the ground. He's writhing on the ground. I think I see blood. What did he fall over? I'm so sorry. I'm going to have to go. I'm going to have to leave. I'm going to have to leave.

I'm so sorry, Ron. That's okay. No hard feelings. You take the rest of the day. I'm so sorry. This is stupid. I'm so sorry. I'm giving this minus one.

What do you reckon Aaron tripped over? No, Hayley's parcels that were just delivered. Oh, you didn't see them. I don't want to go home now. The courier parcels. I'm in trouble. He's wearing his Ronald McDonald Crocs and he's taken a tumble over the packages.

You're kind of hoping that this would sort of emotionally manipulate your employer or the people that you're working with into feeling bad that someone's had a fall. Yeah, gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss. That's my strategy. What? Gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss. That's my strategy. What? Gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss.

The three Gs of 2025. I mean, stick that on a horse, but in terms of a hack, it's not great. Well, it's great. Thank you. It's not because you're not going to be able to bring it up

in your security camera app. You've got to time and be like, Aaron, Aaron, fall now. You just flash your phone at them and look at him riding on the floor. I'm giving you one star out of pity. 1.5. Born?

I just don't even know, really. Minus one? Minus two? There's disappointment and then there's this. You saw that when we were dead. We know your parents listen and they always message you after your hacks. Bev's going to be so disappointed at this The disappointment is going to be like when she went

all the way to that new pack and save and she didn't feel the muscle mister was any bigger than any other That was a big disappointment She was so disappointed to have made that drive for those crowds. It's a one I just give a one because technically am I allowed to give a zero? Yeah you can I'll give a.5. I'd maybe just as a

footnote as well say maybe take this segment a bit more seriously. Yeah. This is actually a professional workplace. I'm going to have to stop you. My partner, oh my goodness, he's just had a fall. I can't get this slander on you anymore. Oh, Shannon, you must go. I've got to go.

Oh my God, he's fallen. He's fallen, but they live in an apartment. He must have fallen like 10 stories. Or into his magic hat. He is a magician. He's fallen, but they live in an apartment. He must have fallen like 10 stories. Or into his magic hat. He is a magician. He is a magician. He tripped and fell into his space-defying hat where all the rabbits and stuff come from.

One star. Bye. Hang on, hang on. So you're sticking to the fact that you just told us how to get out of work, and now you're using that terrible thing to get out of work. I'm reverting to the text machine here just to get a balanced opinion.

Okay. Someone says, okay, they've thought about it. One, time and date on the camera, Shannon. Two, what a single's going to do, ask their neighbours. Three, deal with the consequences of all the questions after. How's your mother? How was the fall? I don't deal with consequences first off. That's a,

I don't think long term. Somebody said you'd be better to record yourself in like a black hoodie, sneaking around your own property. Scoping. And you're like, whoa, my house is being scoped. I'd better go home. And then just, they go out of frame and then you go, and make a smashy noise. Now that's a three star hack.

That's a better hack. That's not the hack we were presented. No, we were presented a diabolically low one. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Khloe Kardashian has a podcast called Khloe in Wonderland. Okay. And she talks about life. Why is it called that?

Because her name doesn't sound anything like Alice. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. If her name was Chalice. She probably came up with that. If her name was Chalice. Chalice in Wonderland. You would say Chalice in Wonderland.

Yeah. Yeah, or Callus. Callus in Wonderland callous and wonderland yeah yeah that would be a cool one where you talk about callous acts yeah i was callous and wonderland chloe and snowy land would have been better or something yeah california it's confusing the name needed more workshopping however on this podcast she had her mum on chris jenna and they talked about the time, which I think she might have mentioned a few seasons ago on the show, but they talked about the time that poor young Chloe was playing hide and seek.

And she decided... Who's got their emails on? Hayley Jane Sproul. Oh my goodness. Why am I actually pointing to me? It's because it is normally born. No, you'd be happy it was Ross saying that he's going to deal with the air conditioning issue. Oh, lovely. That's good. So now I've said it on Ross saying that he's going to deal with the air conditioning issue. Oh, lovely.

That's good. So now I've said it on air. We'll hold him to it. It's happening. So Chloe was playing hide and go seek. She hid under her mother's bed. And that is when Kris Jenner entered with Caitlyn Jenner, previously her husband. Okay.

And who at the time was not Caitlin. And they were on the bed and started doing it while Chloe was underneath. Did she say how old she was? Five. Oh, geez. Okay. And she remembers this.

It's like on top. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. And she said she remembers being traumatised by the sounds her mother was making and just sat there quietly for many, many years. I couldn't think of anything personally worse. Yeah, that's horrendous. Horrendous.

But do you know what? When we live with our parents, we live in the same house as them. Yeah. And this is what I want to ask this morning of our listeners, and we have even put up a box on Instagram. Did you catch your parents? Have you caught your parents? You know,

worse if you're like, because so many people are living at home still, like even into their, you know, late 20s, 30s. 100%. Maybe they're saving for a house deposit

and living with the parents. If you caught them then, that's way worse, eh? No, I don't know. I know as an adult you could be like, well, that happens. But when you're a kid

and you don't really know about it you're like, oh, what's happening? So we put this up on Instagram as well. Just wanted to get us kicked off. Gab said,

ooh yes, vomit face. I was 14 and sharing a room with them overseas and they thought I was asleep. I'm ended! A couple of happy hour cocktails there, I reckon. What the hell?

That is no way that happened. Oh, this makes me want to die. Gabs, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you went through that. Oh, my God. I feel like we should give Gabs some therapy for free or something. Oh, my God. Like a couple of hours free for Gabs.

I'll give you a call later on today, Gabs, and you can tell me all about it. Hey, therapist. And then what all about it. Hey, a therapist. And then what a mum do. Oh, yeah. And then what a mum do. Okay, no, stop, you're making...

How long has this gone on? What a dad. No. Poor Gabs. Okay, we'll keep you texting. Coming in 9696, 0800,

dial ZM. Have you caught your parents at it? Oh, no. Okay, there are some great stories coming in. We'll get to those next. Oh, no.

I just saw it. Yeah. Oh, no. I can't. No. No. Oh, no. No.

Careful, we're on here. Sam Barber, Indigo, OnZM, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I'm going to initiate something. It's new. We've been doing radio for coming up 21 years. I'm about to initiate for the first ever time what I'm calling the mute room. And that's where I'm going to say something

because we have to adhere to certain rules of broadcasting. Because we're on the radio and people could accidentally tune in and not know what they're hearing and tune in and hear this. I'm going to initiate something called the mute room. I believe it's a loophole to get us out of any trouble with the BSA. I don't know. I would say if you have little ears or it's not for you or you're easily offended, it's time to go to the mute room.

You go into the mute room for 10 seconds this time. That's what I'm going to say. I'm going to say 10 seconds. And then when the 10 seconds is up, you can come back and you won't have heard anything that you found demonstrative or inappropriate or anything. Now, that's coming up just in a few moments. Right, we are talking about

the times when you've caught your parents because Khloe Kardashian has relived again and this came out a few years ago on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Yeah, but she put it on her podcast this week about she was five years old and played hide and seek, hid under mum's bed. Mum and then husband came in and started making love on the bed while she was five years old and played hide and seek, hid under mum's bed. Mum and then husband came in

and started making love on the bed while she was under it. We thought that was traumatising. I'm shook and I'm not at all approved. I'm just like probably Kardashian hasn't even touched the side. No. I think we're going to need a spillover podcast. Maybe or adjust. There's one that I really

want to do in the new room. Yep. There's one I want to do in the new room because you may have heard us just before we entered that song we kind of all, Hayley and I lost our minds and Fletch was like show me and then we all started screaming and then for the first like 45 seconds of that song we're all just running around screaming. Also the one we were screaming about beforehand, before

that song. Oh there's a great. Okay. When do you want the mute room? My childhood room was next to theirs. We lived in an old house Where insulation And interior walls Were not thought about The walls were thin

It was awful It wasn't just once It was multiple times Oh god It wasn't I haven't But my father's told me The story about how

He walked in on His 76 year old mother And her boyfriend When they were staying At his house Oh go nan Nanny You can't even be angry

About nanny get up Can you Anonymous What happened When did you catch your parents were staying at his house. Oh, go Nan. Nanny. You can't even be angry about Nanny, can you? Anonymous, what happened? When did you catch your parents? I was about seven, and we lived in a caravan for two years while our family home was being built. Oh, cool. It was just cheaper to rent a caravan, I guess, at that time.

I was sleeping on the top bunk and my parents decided to have a special cuddle that night and literally rocked myself out of the top bunk. And I smacked my head hard on the ground and got concussion and had to be rushed

to A&E. I thought you were going to say you landed on them. I thought you were going to say you i i honestly thought you were going to say you landed on them i thought you were going to say and i fell off and i landed i know it's only tuesday but i think we've got a corner of the week oh we're going to hook you up with the chemist's warehouse prize pack all thanks to chemist's warehouse home of the biggest brands at the lowest prices walked you out of the yeah to a concussion yeah and to this day they deny it black and blue.

And I'm like, but you literally drove me there. And they're like, no, never happened. They're saying you're imagining it because you banged your head. The gas lighting you. The gas lighting you.

Oh my God. Is there a way to like, ask for your medical records so you can get like a printout of being an A&E that night? Yeah, and a statement that you gave. Frame it. AACC would want to know how this happened. Yeah, and the statement that you gave. Frame it. AACC would want to know

how this happened. Yeah, and then frame it and give it to them for Christmas. I think I'd rather just keep it deep, deep in the memory bank and not have it.

Anonymous, thank you so much. Wait there, we'll hook you up with our Caller of the Week prize. So many messages in. We grew up in a very small house. My bedroom was next

to my parents' bedroom. When I was nine, I was calling out that I needed a glass of water and I wasn't getting any response. I'm like, that's weird. I'll go and get it myself. And that was when I learned my parents would retreat to the kitchen to make love. A little bit on the bench.

That's where we prepare food. That's where we have Kai. Yeah. Not hapu, tapu. If mum's hapu after that. Mum might be hapu because of the tapoo on the bench. Oh, someone messaged me from Instagram. My 18th birthday.

Had a sleepover with friends in the lounge. We could all hear them in the room. That's so much worse. You can't do that when your kids have got friends over. I'm having a panic attack. I'm having a panic attack. This is bad. Oh, my God.

There are some that are So good I want to initiate A 30 second mute room No more That's all We'll do a spillover podcast Yeah we can We can just release

Yeah okay I can't read that one Can't read that one There are a lot This is spillover podcast If you listen to the show And you haven't listened to the podcast We're going to do a

A special podcast Because there's no rules on the internet Don't know if you guys know that You can be a Nazi on the internet And no one does anything Yeah you can Walked in on them in the shower. You can be a Nazi on the internet and no one does anything. You can. Walked in on them in the shower, still see it into my brain 20 years later. We were at

a family holiday and the Marlborough Sounds and mum and dad said they were going to have an afternoon nap. And I was like, I'm going to get a funny photo of them having a sleep and I'm going to be like, look how silly you look when you sleep. What, like just reaching up through the window or something? I guess so. Snoozy. Um, I was they weren't having a nap. They were actually vigorously going at it. Or like just reaching up through the window or something. I guess so. Snoozy.

So I snuck in and they weren't having a nap. They were actually vigorously going at it. I was trying to think about the photo, be like, hee hee, click. Oh. No. Oh, what was that? I went completely silent for the remainder of the trip. I couldn't look at them in the eyes.

They had no idea what had gone wrong because I wouldn't admit that I'd seen them and they didn't see me taking the photo. And I was just, I just sort of shut myself off from reality for a little bit. Oh my God. I moved home as an adult for a brief period while my partner was still in another city. I came home sick from work one day and caught my parents, who were at the time in their mid-seventies,

absolutely going at it in a public space. So it was a lounge situation goodness guys this spillover podcast is going to be one for the books yeah make sure you

listen to that it'll be out later this morning not really caught in the act but I got my phone taken off me when I was 14 and I thought as revenge I'd go hunting through I'd go hunting through

my parents drawers for it I found a book I was like what's this I opened it up it was a 70s style book of them and a varied lot of positions as they had attended to recreate the Kalama Sutra. I vomited in my mouth,

closed the drawer and decided that they could keep my phone if that's what the world had in store for me. Kill me. Man, the world punished you that day, didn't it? Oh, wow. Oh, God. Okay, mute room. This is my new thing Oh, God. Okay, Mute Room.

This is my new thing. I'm going to read one of them. And this is far from the worst, but this is the one that really has got us cackling. Yeah. So Mute Room now, I will say if you're listening in the car, mute, mute. Don't go to another radio station because you'll regret it.

Oh, no, you'll get radio herpes or something. And then you'll bring it straight back. This is a great country to have radio herpes in. It is, yeah. So you can mute. I is a great country to have radio herpes in. It is. So you can mute. I'll count you in three, two, one. You mute and I'm going to read something. And this is my way of getting around there being any BSA complaints about the matrix. I don't know if that's a loophole.

I don't think it works that way. Who cares? Three. You've got, get your finger on the mute button. Three, two, one. I was 22 years old and I caught my dad jacking off in the bathroom I was speechless I got to speak to him

for the rest of the day the day I'm giving my dad like I'm giving my dad at least a season and I'm giving it if it happens in autumn

I'll see him in spring it's not it's just that's so much worse than catching them doing it right so much worse play Z them doing it, right? So much worse.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. So, White Lotus, we're huge fans of that show here at FEHZM. We absolutely love it. I'm a little bit behind. I haven't started the season because I want to do it all at once. There's been some spoilers this week because one of my favourite actors has popped up. Last night's episode,

yesterday's episode, a surprise cameo from just a brilliant actor. The dude doesn't miss. An incredible scene. Monologue from him. I don't think I can even just repeat on the radio. No, no, no.

But yeah, it's definitely a season where there's so much happening and could happen. You just can't save it up and binge it. Yeah. And also like scenes like that pop up and it's just going to be on all socials today. Yeah. So it is filmed this season in Thailand,

in Koh Samui, which is an island. Beautiful. I've been to Koh Samui. Beautiful island. Lovely. Well, obviously, immediately, ever since it was actually released, the destination, they've had a huge rise in the amount of visitors

that have been visiting the island. Just to sort of go around, because you see in the show how beautiful it is. But the particular hotel, I'm just on booking.com, which is called the Anatantara Bopat Koh Samui Resort It's not that expensive Really? Okay

I mean like many places it's like varying degrees. So that one that they filmed in Italy was so expensive. Because I remember looking at that just being like I wonder how much it costs to stay there and I was like it was like thousands a night. I mean, this is Thailand. Everything's cheaper.

Yeah. But you can get super expensive places in Thailand, but they're outrageous. So this place, if you wanted to stay, I've just booked us in. By the way, we're going. We're just going to get flights. Oh, great. I've booked us in, for example, for a deluxe garden view room with one extra large double bed that should house the three of us. Okay.

That's going to set us back for five nights, $2,000. For like something that's really bougie. Yeah. But you can get so much cheaper in Thailand. You can get so much cheaper in Thailand. I'm not saying this is like cheap. In Thailand, you can literally stay places for $30 a night and they're awesome.

Yeah. But like I think everyone was just expecting with the white lotus thing that it was going to be really expensive. This hugely expensive thing. And people are like, oh. They've got, I've just found their website and I've scrolled down to their packages.

The Way of the Lotus is a package. Follow the path of the Lotus to Koh Samui, one of the stunning filming locations of the highly acclaimed White Lotus season three. See, good for them. Cashing in, man. Make that money. Yeah, and there's a $3,000 four-night stay

that blends hedonism and mysticism to awaken your spirit and elevate your well-being. That's called the Lotus Awakening Escape. On the White Lotus, they take their phones off them. Do you have to give them your phone? No. Because that was the idea of the White Lotus Awakening Escape. I'm not doing that.

I need a picture of me on the love seat. Do you know what I mean? Looking out over the ocean going like, he's out there somewhere. And people are like, what, what? And you're like, Thailand. Kapkong ka. I was like, wow.

I've really found myself in this place and with these people. Sawadee ka. Mavs is my favourite show. I love it so much. The Australian one is the best one in the world. New Zealand, we did it and we didn't do it that well.

Who did it first? Was it Australia that did it? Yes, Australia. It's an Australian show. Ba-da. And that little giggle you heard is my favourite, I was going to say contestant, my favourite star of the show, Jamie. Oh, not the star of the show.

You're making me blush. Jamie, you are the star of the show. Maths this season is really crazy. We're friends with John Aitken, actually. He's come in a couple of times. Daddy John. He is a bit of a with John Aiken, actually. He's come in a couple of times. Daddy John. He is a bit of a Daddy John, to be fair. And he told us right at the top of the season that it was going to be a bit mad and that there were some really questionable characters

and some trad wife stuff and some really like a lot of drama. That's a very demure way to put it. Yeah, he didn't lie, did he? No, no no no so you can't tell us too much but i want to start off by saying everyone the because this was filmed a little bit ago right everyone has gone really rogue on instagram and tiktok and are like pulling back the covers and like spoiling all these secrets this is everybody that's on the show yeah yeah yeah previous seasons they haven't.

No, no, no, because you sign contracts, right? Absolutely. Yeah. You sign contracts. But this cast is the epitome of naughty school children. Yeah. And I've never thought I'd say this, but silence is golden. And that's coming from me who doesn't shut up.

But, like, when it comes to this, it is a shame that people haven't protected their outcome and journey because as a viewer, that's the most exciting thing, not knowing what's coming. But you've got a lot of big egos that want to get their side of the story out. Like if you haven't seen it, I mean, I kind of don't recommend it because like you say, there's spoilers all through it but like, some of the cast have gotten together

who weren't together Yeah. And they're like walking around holding hands and we're like, I haven't even seen the end yet Okay, we want to talk we've got a few questions from our listeners that we want to put to you. The first one being how much of the show is scripted?

I'm sure you get asked this all the time. The show is not scripted and that's what absolutely drives me wild. Like I see videos of me crying because that's a really big trend on TikTok to be like, my Sheila. And it's just me crying to like Billie Eilish music and then some random person like 77 seven underscore dino hot dog whatever never leaves me alone either yeah and then he'll be like oh guys you're falling for it's all scripted i'm like if that is the case i am a bloody good actress yeah yeah i'm like please

don't diminish my pain dino thank you yeah um definitely i sometimes i feel like people like jackie and ryan probably wish they could say it's scripted. I know. Jackie's a Kiwi and she did say that she was Miss New Zealand. Oh, that's Jackie. She wasn't. At a boat show in China. Yeah.

I read about this. It was, it was at a boat conference. Not meaning to tear her down. She's great. We love it. But I love she keeps saying, I was Miss New Zealand and all of New Zealand's like, oh no. That was the

I'm sorry. You're right. You can have a little ha-ha. I literally just choked on my own saliva listening to that. That was the most humbling piece of art, like information that came out that she was Miss, in the Miss Yacht competition and she didn't place and I was like, oh, that's humbling.

Yeah. That's a real kick to the teeth. We're all holding on to things from our past that we're proud of, you know. Okay, which couple, outside of your own couple, which couple were you rooting for the most? Like if you look at the original couples. Surely Morena and Tony. Because at their wedding tony was like the wedding was beautiful amazing and she was like look at him he's handsome and then it just

fell apart but you know what most weddings looked very you know fairy tale like except jackie and ryan's and so like i think you really you have high hopes for everyone were you stoked i mean because my partner's six foot six and I remember when I met him he walked through a door and he had to duck and I was like yum delicious. When you came down the aisle and you saw a six foot six man covered in tattoos that was sort of your reaction too wasn't it? I mean you could see my reaction.

It was very, very. You basically shoved your father away. I was like get out of here dad, I'm done with you. I was just excited because I was so calm I kept saying to I kept saying to production I think I've got like a Dan I kept calling him Dan right I'm like I'm getting tats and Aussie vibes and I remember after they're like did you know I'm like no I just this is just I just have this feeling. But when I saw him and I was like, okay, he's not a man with a man bun and bad teeth and stinks and comes up to my nipples. I was like, yes.

They listened. Wait, how tall are you? I'm like 5'2". I'm Kim K's height. So I was literally living my Kardashian era where they're like dating like basketballers. Yeah, we love this. Someone asked, were you like,

did you feel a little bit better than everyone when you guys were going so well and everything was crumbling around and you kind of had this like, quote unquote, dream husband? I didn't necessarily feel better than everyone. Cause I actually, you feel kind of bad to celebrate your wins

because it does feel like you're rubbing it in. Cause a lot of my friends, unfortunately had really toxic relationships. Like you saw Katie, you saw Ash, you saw Athena. And then it's like, I wanted to be a good support person for them rather than being like, well, Dave and I actually going really well and we're happy and we don't have to go home to chaos. So you just kind of like, I just accepted we're going to be boring and just some comedic relief here and there, but let's just support my friends. Do you just kind of like, I just accepted we're going to be boring and just some comedic relief here and there, but let's just support my friends. Do you

like, did you, because they say that you film like, someone was telling us, like 18 hours a day or something like that, but then you're... 18 hours a day? Like a lot of the day, but then you get like a 20 minute edit, like in each episode. Do you, when the camera's not

rolling, are you like having wines? Are you like catching up? Are you going out? Because there are definitely some episodes I'll turn and I'll be like they're hungover. Like after the dinner parties and then it's the next day I'm like, you guys hit the town afterwards. No, you don't go hit the town afterwards. So there

is, there are curfews. So to make sure everyone is getting rest and everything like that. They do, obviously, there is a duty of care. But, you know, I definitely love to hit the swaths at the dinner parties. Okay, I always think this, and they never obviously, like, glorify it or, you know, draw attention to it, but you can definitely hear through some of the parties that people get a little bit sloppy.

It is monitored, though. Like, if you show signs of signs of intoxication like that's a big no-no so again there is a big duty of care but I'm a high-functioning alcoholic so I work in a nightclub so I can do my job and drink drink drink and scold this person and I can get all my words out so I didn't get cut off jeepers creepers you would think that I'm yeah With free booze on tap All that drama I also love like If you Like have you always been like this Where you can't

I don't want to say Can't keep your mouth shut But like No you're right I can't keep my mouth shut Like was that before the show You were like this too If you saw a bit of BS

You'd call it out In front of friends Absolutely I'm someone I just can't help myself But Like I say I've Like myories, I've been in toxic relationships, friendships, I've been bullied and being a fence sitter, it's enabling behaviour.

So even when I would be out and I'd see a man get in another woman's face or I'd see, like I'd throw myself in between this little five foot nothing. I'm like, I'll be the sacrificial lamb. But I'd rather put a stop to it and say something. And so for me, it was very easy getting involved. And plus like all Greeks are nosy. Like we're all nosy. I love that that was it. What did you say in your first episode?

Like it's not just my nose that's big. I've got to, it smells something. Oh yeah, I can smell everything. I can, I can smell everything. So like when I didn't smell anything coming off of Dave like at the end of the altar I was like great it didn't stink um what's next for you because I've got one more question from a listener but I just want to know what's next for you because the you can't tell us exactly like how it all ends for you but like what

are you what are your dreams next I definitely think I have found my calling where I just need to talk. So being paid to talk sounds ideal. So maybe I'll come and join you guys. I get paid to talk. Yeah, it's great fun. Like this, this is it. This is the job.

Okay, our final question from one of our listeners is, just based on everything we're seeing online, are you okay? My Shayla. I'm like the poster of the cat hanging there, pussycat. I'm hanging in. She's hanging in. I'm hanging in.

But honestly, who would have thought the online community was so supportive? Thank you. Honestly. I'm so glad they're being supportive because sometimes I can imagine they can be pretty brutal, right? Yeah. I was expecting a lot more backlash for being so controversial but

you know, my authenticity has been celebrated online and you know when I cry, it seems like the rest of the world cries with me. Oh babes, I've had a couple of blubbers with you and I'll continue to do so. I honestly cannot wait to see the rest of the season and I'm definitely not watching ahead at all

with my mum, at all. I'm definitely not watching ahead at all with my mum at all. I'm definitely keeping up with it. It's on 3 New Zealand, 3 now. Jamie, thank you so much. A pleasure. Thank you for having me guys. You may have seen this trend over the last month of my emergency contact. It's people filming

their emergency contact, often their partner being like utterly useless or completely stupid and going how is this dude, this person my emergency contact, often their partner being like utterly useless. Yeah, I love it. Or completely stupid and going, how is this dude, this person, my emergency contact? Because with your, even if your phone's locked, if like a paramedic or the police or whatever need your emergency contact, is there a way, do you press the side button? Do you hold down the volume button? I don't know. And that way, if you've assigned, I know on your iPhone,

if you've assigned an emergency contact, it becomes an option. Yeah, it pops up. It's that turn off, turn on, or emergency, or I've taken a fall,

or call someone, call someone. There you go. Like next to Aaron, who's my emergency contact. It's a little arrow. And nothing more. No, I'm kidding.

It's a little red kind of crossy thing. Yes. And so, yeah, if I was to have a fall or whatever, they'd know instantly to call Aaron. So what you do is you hold down the volume and the menu key on your iPhone and it brings up a slide to power off and down the bottom, and then medical call or medical ID,

and you slide that open and it says, I'm Vaughan Smith, that can't possibly be right. Oh, actually, I'm going to take that weight down. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. Emergency, actually, I'm going to take that weight down so that's nice. Beautiful. Emergency contacts there, three people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, just call the ambulance.

No, it's if somebody's, if the ambulance has found you, and you've had a spill on your bike, because of the Audi driver. I don't have any, I don't have any emergency contact on my phone. Oh, you simply haven't. I've had a good run. This is the thing that people are asking now. Oh my God, I know.

Do you know he got a do not resus tattoo? Yeah, I know. I did not. Do you know his first tattoo as well was bald. It's weird that it's on his lower back though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really weird that it's like. And it's got a Playboy bun and it's like.

YOLO, do not resuscitate. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a tramp DNR. It says don't resus horn. Yeah. It's funny. But so this is the thing that people are asking. This is like my emergency contact thing.

It's really fun. And then all the single people are like, who's in charge of me? Like I don't have one. And I was like, it's sad when you're in your 30s and it's your mum. Yeah, but what if your parents have died? Your friends.

Just put an 0800 number like IRD. What now? What now? 0800 001 001. 001 001. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. Oh my God. But I mean, you've got to put one in. Put Vaughn. He's never out. You're in mine. Am I?

Oh, that's nice. That's cute. This is a weird one though because I've got three. I've got you, Sade and Ross Boss. Oh. He's not going to do anything. You don't want him turning up. What's he going to do? Laugh at you and say this is great content?

Yeah. Can't wait to hear about this at 10 past eight on Monday. Yeah, God. Thanks for coming up with great content. How long do you think this accident that you found yourself in is going to mean

you're off work? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know you've used up all your sick leave, eh? So we'll see you tomorrow. Yeah. Hey, you need to, Fletch, you need to

add Vaughan as yours. I'm concerned. You don't want to be unidentified John Doe. Kind of. What a great way to go, you know? It's kind of great.

Kind of great, you know? Is he in Brazil? Yeah. Or is he dead? Is he dead? We actually don't know. We don't know. Well, we'll know. Fact of the day is next.

What's the theme this week again? Smells. That's right. And you guys will like this because it's about cats. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day Day, day, day, day

It's scent week or smell week here at Fact of the Day We could be talking about things that have a smell Or things that do the smelling And today we were talking about cats And why do cats love the smell of earwax? Do they? Do you use The cleaners? The q-tips?

I'm not waxy, I'm dry I'm dry, itchy I thought you were going to say hot Dry ear holes Yeah, real flaky dry ear holes. Is it really? Yeah, so I never get any wax. You're a little waxy.

I know. I wish I did. I'd always want to be one of those people that gets it all sucked out. Oh, you've got to be careful though, sticking things in your ears. Oh, you're very, very careful. It's not good for you. I'm very, very careful. That's why I've got this weird knot.

No, you're figuring my ear at the moment where if I just move a little bit funny, it sounds like cellophane. Vaughn. Is this because, why? Because you stick things in your ears the whole show because you're a dad. I've been having a dig. You don't need to dig.

Have you ever noticed that when you use them, the cats really like the smell? No. Have you never noticed? No. Have you ever had a cat lick your ear? No. No?

Get in there and you've got a dry ear. I'm dry. I do feel sorry for your cat. What about you? No. Not crazy enough to encourage a you've got a dry ear. I'm dry. I do feel sorry for your cat. What about you? No. Not crazy enough to encourage a little cat. This isn't a thing. It totally is.

It's recognised as cats loving the smell and taste of earwax. That's really put me off cats. Because they'll drag the Q-tips out of the bin and either chew on them or batten them around like they're playing with them because the smell of the earwax reminds them of prey. They've got this primal instinct inside. It says it contains a variety of proteins and fats and

sweat that cats find very intriguing. Yuck. Yuck. Because they are meat eaters and they have to eat so many fatty acids and proteins and everything to keep them going. That's gross. And that's why they play with it. It's much like when they might kill a mouse or a bird and then just bat it around for a while rather than eating it.

Right. Because they're not hungry but they think they should be playing with it. And it trains their skills as hunters and gatherers. And grossly enough, they like the taste. I don't want to go too far into that. But have you ever seen cats groom other cats? They always really concentrate on the ears. Yeah, they get in the waxy boat. Cats can smell other cats' ear infections and their primal thing is to clear it out

so that the other cat doesn't have an ongoing infection and it gets worse and worse. That's when cats are nice. I would never do that for you guys. If you had an air infection, no way I'm sucking it out. I told my daughter the other day about the time when she was really sick with a block nose when she was a baby and I did the old suck it straight out of you.

It's the best way. It is absolutely the best way. And it's gross the first time, but then. Well, that's put me off having kids. Has it? Just now. Just now. And the fact that the holidays dry up.

Yeah. Put another one on the cons list for having kids on Fletcher's fridge. Another lot under the pros. No. So today's fact of the day on scent week is that cats love the smell of not only other cats, but also humans' earwax. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

I sent this through the group last night being like, Reddit post of the year. On the subreddit New Zealand, Reddit post of the year. Yeah, nothing is beating this post. I love it. And it's only March. Someone's done a bit of detective work and said, someone's shaved their private regions in the Kmart toilets. And the picture is of the toilet at Kmart and a Venus razor.

And I know that because it's very pink. Yes, yes, yes. And the package opening on the floor and some spreading around and a few bits and pieces that would indicate someone did indeed nip into the bathroom for a trim. Yeah, those pubes. Yeah. Yeah.

And the razor's gone. So someone has said it's just shoplifting, but someone's like, there's other evidence here that points to more happening. What's the story? They could have purchased it and then gone in. Sure. Do they have toilets at Kmart? Some of them do. Some of them do, inside. Nice. Because most of them are at a mall

and you just have to use some mall toilets, don't you? Yeah, some big ones do. What's the story, though, that you're in Kmart and you're going, gotta get rid of these pubes now. Well, that's big ones do. Okay. What's the story, though, that you're in Kmart and you're going, got to get rid of these pubes now? Well, that's what somebody says. This girl got booty called while she was doing a Kmart run. Hope it was worth the panic shave, baby. And someone said, I can almost guarantee

no booty calls worth the resulting shaving rash from a panicked dry shave. Dry shave. Imagine dry shaving. Not your intimate area as well. Maybe she did buy a moose Any sign of a moose? No sign of a moose

But there is some toilet paper So I wonder if the area was wetted No, not wet Wetted with the toilet paper Someone has said Is that Hastings? Someone has said Yes, well spotted

So that is indeed Hastings 100% this is what it will be 100% this is what it will be. Someone just text in, I've done this because I had a laser appointment and forgot to shave. Not in a came up, but at the mall. You don't do it in a, you don't just leave it on the floor with all your pubes. No, you grim bee. You bloody grim bee.

That's grim. Yeah, that makes sense. So rather than a booty call being like, oh, I got a laser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's grim. Yeah, that makes sense. So rather than a booty call being like, oh, I've got a laser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gross, though. No, but you see, you know you've got a laser appointment coming. Laser appointments aren't last minute. No, I know exactly.

You've got to put them in. Pre-shave. Are you a long drive from home, perhaps? Yeah, maybe. Or are you a public transport user and you can't just nip home for a quick shave? You can pay them to shave you. You do pay a little bit extra to get the shaving treatment. You pay a little bit extra to get the shaving included. Pay a little bit extra to get the shaving included.

Yeah, yeah. What happened to the poor Kmart worker having to clean up pubes? That wasn't on their list today. That's the thing when there's a public toilet and a retail store and that retail store is responsible for the public toilet. I bet they see some things and it's led me to the place where we start now taking your calls on what's the grossest thing that's happened in your work toilets.

Now, this might be, you might work. Does it have to be toilets? What about just workplace? Yeah, because there'll be like changing rooms. Yes. Oh, yes. There'll be people in changing rooms doing manky business. Fair.

Grossest thing that's happened at your workplace. I'm trying to think of anything gross that's happened here. Had to clean up this bathroom afterwards, you'd just be like. I mean, there's worse things to clean up. It looks pretty clean. Chuck some gloves on, get it done. But there's something about it. Someone else's pubes.

Happy to clean up the pubes of my household. Do you know what I mean? But anyone else, I'm sorry. It'd be a great test for that $35 Dyson dupe vacuum. Yeah. Get that in there so I can clean it up. Do you reckon there'll be manky behaviour at people who work at gyms? Because you know, everyone's're sweaty and wetty.

There's showers there. There's bathrooms there. 100%. Okay, well, let's take your calls. A lot of protein been ingested. Bananas. Yeah. They'll clear you out.

0800DARLSATM. Give us a call now. You can text through 9696 to text in. The grossest thing that's happened at your workplace. Okay, there is a... More poop than I wanted. Some gross people out there. So it's the Reddit post of the year. It will not be beaten

this year. It's the scene in a Kmart bathroom. A quick pube trim. Quick pube trim. Shave, not a trim because they used the razor and you can only go skin, skin, skin. That looks like it's been shoplifted as well. Yeah. But somebody needed pubes gone very quickly. And we are talking

about the grossest thing that happened at your workplace. Because, you know, the customers come in, they're not always right in the head. No, sometimes they need to poop, apparently. Oh, my God. My daughter used to work at a cotton-on. People are disgusting. They would find used feminine products, used condoms, dirty soiled underwear in the changing rooms. Also had to clean up a poop and a wheeze.

Kylie, what did you have to deal with? Hello, can I please just say, long time listener, first time caller? Absolutely you can. And I shall respond thusly. Woo! Welcome, welcome. Welcome, Kylie, welcome. Thanks. So I

worked in a cafe part of a department store. Okay. We had a bench a cafe part of a department store. Okay. And we had a bench in front of like a lot of food cabinets, and we had a lady pick up her handbag and she dragged it across the bench and then popped it up onto the counter. And then she went and ordered, sat down at her table, she put it on the table, then on the chair, then on her knee, then on the floor. And when she, after she ordered, there was a smear behind her.

So I just cleaned that up, went and saw her, and everywhere she had placed her handbag was also these big smears. So I asked her where she had been, and she had just been to the bathroom, so I ran down to the bathroom, and there were these smears everywhere. And it was then I realised that she had put her handbag in human poo

and then smeared it all through the cafe. Oh, yuck! Fuck! But wait, had she done the poo somewhere? I don't think so. Oh, no! How did she not know that she smeareth the poo everywhere? And why are customers so gross?

I think my brain didn't comprehend it was human. Yeah. So I just automatically cleaned it all up. Okay. Oh, guys. I probably should have got the janitor into it. Yeah. You're a hero.

I would have asked for employee of the year. Yeah. And a wake-off. And a $100 gift voucher. Oh, okay. Okay, nice. That's very nice. I would have asked for employee of the year. Yeah. And a wake-off. $100 gift voucher. Oh, okay. Okay, nice. That's very nice. I wouldn't be complaining.

Thank you, Kylie. Sophie, what was the grossest thing that happened at your work? Hello. So I used to work at a gym. Yeah. And receptionist cleaner. And we occasionally, every Thursday, had a shower pooper. Every Thursday?

Like that? Why Thursday? Why Thursday? It occasionally still happens. I don't know. But they would literally poop in the shower and try to shove it down the drain and the cleaners would have to go and clean it up.

Oh, my God. What is wrong with people? Were you keeping an eye out on Thursdays? Yeah, show these cameras. You could eliminate who it could possibly be. and clean it up. Oh my God, what is wrong with people? Were you keeping an eye out on Thursdays? Yeah, show those cameras you could eliminate who could possibly be. Honestly, I don't work there anymore, but occasionally I've heard it still happens or like people will clean their feces off the toilet

and leave it on the toilet scrubber. And when I first started cleaning, I thought it was really nice. You've got to give that a good old... Yeah, but you didn't have anybody shaving their pubes and just leaving the razor in the pubes on the... Yeah, any pube trimmers? I'm not too sure, actually. I've never come across that,

but we've come across, like, used tampons or, like, pads stuck to the walls. We've had so many messages about sanitary products. Somebody said, always pretty good when a customer screams in the shoe store you're working at

and you're like, what's wrong, what's wrong? And you run over and they pull their foot out of an Ugg boot and there's a used sanitary item in the Ugg boot. What?

Are you kidding? That's manco. Guys, get it together. Who did that? And they say guys are the gross ones. Someone needs to know where the poop was and the department store told her that the handbag got put in it so easily. Yeah, I was thinking it must have been on the side.

There must have been poop on the side somehow that she put it in. I always use the hook on the back of the door. Always the hook. You never put your bag down on the ground. Yeah. Never. Oh, wow. Okay, well, the grossest thing that happened at your work, keep your texts coming in, 9696. 0800 dials it in.

Grossest thing that happened at your work, so what we're talking about now, someone's messaged us in, obviously the wrong radio station. They say, I love to make homemade butter chicken from scratch when I've got the free time. What a wholesome topic that they must be discussing. Why aren't we doing that then? Rather than this awful grim phoner?

We're making people sick. We just had a message from Dr. Shawnee and he's a doctor and he's feeling queasy. So the homemade butter chicken if we've got time

from scratch text above it reads someone took a poo in the warehouse changing room and left it on the floor and the one below it

says I work at a gym too people always poop in the showers and even when the showers are right next to toilets. Why do they do this? I worked at a pizza restaurant. Someone took a poo in the cistern and then someone else cut their fingernails

and left them on the table. Not even a napkin or anything. Just nicely piled up on the table there. People are grim, eh? Why don't we make the phone a where did you find a poop? Like that's honestly all the texts that are coming in. I was expecting some funny ones. Where did you leave a poop? Like, that's honestly all the texts that are coming in. I was expecting some funnier ones. Where did you leave a poop?

Yeah. Georgia, Bert. In the toilet. I'm a heavy diesel mechanic, and once I was fixing a digger and I found an opened condom tucked back into the wrapper while cleaning out a guy's digger cab. Excuse me, concentrate on the task at hand soon. No wonder our state highways are falling to pieces. Hot, though.

In a digger. Like driving the digger and stuff. Driving the big digger. Oh no, oh no. My husband DJs at bars and one night a girl vomited and slipped in the vomit onto the dance floor and in turn pooped herself. And she wasn't wearing underpants

and so she was kind of like sliding around in both ends of the mess on the floor. Then when the bouncers picked her up I'd imagine very carefully she protested that she was getting kicked out. She said, what have I done wrong? I'm a

paying customer. Oh my god, I'd retire from going out after that. I worked in Topshop and before wooden doors in the changing room, someone pooped in one and then wiped their bum on the curtain. No. No. They didn't.

Wiped their bum on the curtain. I did see one that someone worked at, like, entertainment venues and they're like, yeah, we've seen the poop in the weeds, but once someone, the best thing was someone came in and professionally dismantled a toilet and then just left it in a nice tidy pile What a weird act of vandalism Yeah, you turn off the water at the wall

and then you can undo the tap and then most of the time you take the lid off You could probably take a toilet to good pieces using minimal tools What are you up to? What are you up to? It's so weird. We suck out portaloes These people have seen it all

Oh yeah At like festivals After a concert We connected the sucker truck To the macerator So the idea is It goes Everything gets sucked up

All the toilet paper The three Ps Food paper And phones Food paper and piss And phones And phones The four Ps

And the macerator Is this massive blade And it munches it up And it puts it in So we can pump it Out of the truck easier Who's moving? Anyway There was this massive Ka-dator is this massive blade and it munches it up and it puts it in so we can pump it out of the truck easier. Who's moving? Anyway, there was this massive ka-dang, like this massive noise.

And we're like, what the hell was that? Pulled it apart and there was these steel balls in the macerator. Were they shot puts? Someone's got prosthetic testicles. Egg-sized steel balls. We brought them back to the office. They were this big mystery as to what they were until we found out they were Kegel balls.

Someone had lost their Kegel. Someone wasn't clenching hard enough. Someone wasn't clenching hard enough and they fell out into the portal and nearly destroyed our macerator. Horn, you've got to clench. You've got to clench. Wait, but would you wear Kegel balls?

Would you not wear it? Some people, it's a bit of a thing. You'd take them to a music festival. Yeah, yeah. You'd wear them all the time. Really? You'd wear them around. Yeah. Build up strength, right?

Someone said, do you know what the grossest part about this is? You're talking about, my dog just farted, so now it's like smell-o-vision. I'm getting the stories and the smell. Let's get out of here, please. George is up next with a way more wholesome show. Sorry about all that. The karaoke text. Now you've got to read out the karaoke text.

Wait, I'll pause the song. Used to work in a karaoke bar. Closing time, someone pooped in the glass and dropped it into the loo. The glass got stuck so hard, so I had to yank it back up. Oh, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have interrupted.

It's really tickled me. What would be more painful at 3am? That or the person that won't leave and wants to sing Zombie by the Cranberries? I reckon the poo. That was a personal attack. I wouldn't have interrupted the song for that, Georgia. Oh, sorry, Tate.

See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Cato's a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action That would be great Tell her I'll review her five stars Yeah

If she does the same for this podcast Yeah And then she tells all her friends And if you're listening Maybe give it five stars as well