ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 18th May 2023

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

$500k  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Johnny Depp  OG Email Address  Jetstar  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show. Anyone else drive in thinking it was Friday today? No. Yeah, I did.

I was like, fun, it's going to be fun. Oh, it's another day. Thursday Yeah no Thursday Also we don't want it To be Friday today Because the cocktail stuff That we've ordered For cocktail Friday Tomorrow Hasn't arrived yet

Is in transit Okay So that's tomorrow Wait to get some special juice Yeah because you're making What Turkish Delight Cocktails Turkish Delight cocktails

Because we are classy And we've got expensive Is it a classy Is it a classy cocktail? Also, Turkish Delight, we want to make it not like the classic Turkish Delight from Turkey. We're making it more of these sort of Cadbury favorites. Turkish Delight. We're adding an element of chocolate in there.

You should do this. Make all of the favorites as cocktails. Oh, how do you do a boost? Cocktail. It's just chocolate, isn't it? It's just chocolate. You just leave him that straight out of it. Oh, my God.

You just chop it up. Espresso martini. Imagine a crunchy cocktail. Yeah, like a hokey pokey flavour. Oh, my God. You've absolutely sorted the rest of our social calendar. Every cocktail weekend, we'll just do a different favourite. Starting with our favourite.

And then after you've done the favourites round you can move on to the roses. A cocktail for each one of the Cadbury roses. Some crossover there but it's a good idea. How would you do it? Oh yeah, you've got the dream, we've got the white chocolate. Liqueur, yeah.

This is just perfect. Oh, great stuff. Man, you do a trash. Such trash. We are trash. These awful sweet, sweet cocktails. It's just a couple. It's just a couple, isn't it? Yeah.

We don't go overboard. No, never. Never. You know us. No. We are Mr. and Mrs. Self-Control. Coming up on the show, silly little poll. Yesterday I was logging in to a portal, a website,

and it said log on. And I was like, no, it's log in. Right? It's log in. Or are you logging on? I'm logging on. Are you logging in or are you logging on? Well, that is today's silly little poll,

and we'll see how the nation votes on that soon. Clint from Brain Clint joins us in soon after 6.30. There's a new podcast. Yes. He's launching a new podcast with Jordan. How to Dad. How to Dad. How to Dad.

All about dadding. I believe it's about dadding. It's about being a daddy. But not how you're thinking right now. See, that could be a podcast. It's being a father. Being a daddy. Not not how you're thinking right now. Oh, because now I'm father. See, that could be a podcast. It's being a father. Being a daddy. Not just being daddy.

A daddy podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's in after 6.30 to talk about his new podcast. Next on the show, though. There was a beautiful dad who obviously took his daughter to a Taylor Swift concert. He's made the news. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. When he performed at the MCG in Melbourne, Australia, he set a record over two nights performing to 215,000 fans. So many. So one night it was 109.5

thousand fans and 108, thousand fans. And then the Daily Mail. Which one? Headline. The Australian Daily Mail. Taylor Swift is coming to Australia. Superstar to announce her tour down under any day now.

Rumours are swirling. As news leaks, she is booked to perform at the MCG. Of course she is. Imagine if that happens. I know. God, the girlies behind the producers' booth will be fizzing. Look at them. When, when, when.

Yeah, but at this stage, just rumours. We certainly haven't heard anything. No. You can imagine that. She'd do more than two nights, right? I saw online people think we know things. People are going, ZM, you must know. We don't.

We don't. We're not privy to such information. What I do know, though, is on Tuesday. They don't tell me anything because I say things. I'm a blabbermouth. Yeah, you are. Just in music news, don't forget Tuesday the 23rd, so that's next Tuesday, Slipknot tickets go on sale.

Just when everyone is in my calendar. People probably weren't thinking ZM knew anything about it. I don't know. Here's how there was some Slipknot info. I don't know if the Venn diagram

of ZM listener, Taylor Swift fan, and Slipknot, if there's any even touching of that. Slither. It'll be a slither. Oh, it'll be an interesting slither.

Do you think so? Yep. Well, I'll be there. I can't wait. Well, a dad at a Taylor Swift concert has made the news. He has, bless him. So he took his daughter and his wife there, right? So it was a little bit of a family event.

And they're in the bleachers, basically. They're in the seats, you know. And everyone's up dancing to a Taylor Swift-y song. And he's on his phone. And you go, that's all right. You can be on your phone, Dad. You know, you're just here as the chaperone. It blows my mind at concerts

like how many parents will take their kids and the kids will run off and the parents just sit there and they've got no interest being there. Yeah, absolutely no interest. Why not just pick them up outside after? Or are they too young for that? They might be too young for that. I remember in 2001

I went to Pink after? Or are they too young for that? They might be too young for that. I remember in 2001 I went to Pink in Wellington at the TSB Arena And we're going again And we are going again. It's a full circle moment. But I was allowed to go on my own. I was like 11. Wow. Yeah I was with my friend and just the two of us and my mum was like

there, dropped off, there to pick up and it felt very good Yeah. And my mum took me to Pre up. And it felt very good. Yeah. And my mum took me to... Pre-Metal in Macan. Yeah, yeah. That really, you know, tied me up. Put an end to that, didn't it? Put an end to a lot.

But my first concert, one of my first concerts was Robbie Williams and my mum took me, because I was a big fan, as my chaperone. But she also got into it and enjoyed it and then told me, do you know what that smell is? And it was marijuana. But this dad, right, he's pictured someone's over his shoulder videoing him because he's on his phone Googling, and he's Googling how long does the Taylor Swift concert go for?

And the thing that pops up is like, you may want to settle in for a bit of a night because it's like three hours. Oh, wow. She's on stage. But that's him going like, let this be over. And you can see him sort of like lingering when it says Taylor Swift performs

44 songs for three hours. And he's like, oh. Bless him. But I mean what an experience to share with your kids. Yeah. Seeing one of the biggest pop stars in the world, if not the biggest. You're going to have to do this one day. We will. I took the girls

to Taylor Swift last time she was here. That's right. It rained the whole bloody time. Miserable. Miserable bloody wet experience. Sat in a poncho. Apparently it was enjoyable in the rain, but I didn't find it overly enjoyable. But it was a good show. Yeah. Did you see there was

also a mum that took the daughters to Taylor Swift? And this is so beautiful. She'd printed out, like hard copy printed out, all the lyrics for Taylor Swift's songs, and she was singing along, had a book light. You know, one of those curvy little things you hang on a book? Okay, cute.

So what did she have it printed out on? Because to attach a book light, you've got to have some stability. She must have had a clipboard on. Laminated. Laminated, maybe. Maybe. How did did red badge let her get that through they run a tight shirt that's true give her a pat down check your bag maybe she had them under the jeans yeah maybe i'm yeah you're saying she smuggled it in i'm saying she's smuggled in the lyrics oh my god it is the cutest little photo of this oh this oh my gosh 13 past 6. Play ZM's

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. $500,000. Lawyers please. Good stack. Half a mil. Good stack of cash. Are you offering it out? Because I would like a slice please. Unfortunately I'm not in the position to offer $500,000 of anything.

But I can tell you that's how much an advertising company was paid to make memes for COVID-19. Man. Not for COVID-19. That sounds like it's pro-COVID. It was about staying at home. Right.

Are there any examples? Do you remember? They're not memes. They're not memes. Are they PSAs? They're not memes. They're not memes. Are they PSAs? They're like graphics. They're like graphics. They're not memes. Memes are gonna be funny.

When I read the story, I was like, it's not memes. And a meme like evolves, right? And you can be like that meme fits that. It's gotta fit the... And then someone creates a new one and then you don't even know you're creating one, do you? The internet's just like, I like that and I don't know why. And then I'm going to do this and change a little bit.

And then all of a sudden everybody's doing the thing. Yeah. You can't force that, can you? You can't force it. You can't buy that. You can't buy it, baby. Not even for $500,000. But I'm guessing what the government, when COVID,

when they wanted everybody to lock down, I guess they wanted to get the message out there. Yes. Any way they could. Yeah. So apparently it was handpicked by the former police commissioner, Mike Bush. Right. There's this advertising agency and they put together a handful of memes.

Yeah. Even though it's not, it's just graphics. Right. I can't see anything here that fits into the meme category. Yeah, okay. You know? It's not funny. I went to the internet, loved, and put a little spin on,

and it cost $500,000. It was supposed to run for like months, but after a few weeks it just wasn't working. And it cost $500,000 of our taxpayer dollars. What, do you have some examples of the images? Like... Real dumb ones. Follow the rules.

Stay home and it's like a 50s pop art lady winking. Not a meme because I'm not familiar with it. Memes have to have a familiar... Who's labelled it a meme though? The press or... Themselves. Or themselves. Or is that what the directive was?

That's what they were after. That's what the directive was. We want this to seem like casual, cool. We don't want to come across preachy because everybody's freaking out and we want to come across cool and relatable. Put some humour to it then. You can't just have a picture of a woman going, hey.

There's stay home and it's like a cat coming in and it's like a green pastel background and it's a cartoon cat and then underneath it says save lives and it's a cat coming in from the other side. Not familiar with that as a meme. And then there's some slightly more intense ones. If you burst your bubble, you may kill someone.

Whoa, lighten it up. It's a couple with a dog and it looks like it's a photo from a stock. Stock image website and they've got a graphic bubble around them. Could they have repurposed like some, some everyday memes that we know? Like, you know, the girlfriend that turns her head? Totally. That one? I can't see that.

That's a meme because we're familiar with it, and then you put, like, um. Me looking at your bank account. Yep. That's how you make memes. Yeah. What about the little kids staring at the burning house? Oh, yeah, but it's just a pile of dead, like, COVID bodies. No, no, no.

That's too dark. That's too dark. The government can't pay for that sort of dark, Emma. Yeah. Too dark. I'm not saying we're going to come up with a half a million dollar idea here, but if a half a million dollar carrot's been dangled. I could have come up with something.

We could have come up. Yeah, we could have come up with something. I mean, the cat was sort of heading down the right territory. on carrots being dangled. I could have come up with something. We could have come up with something. Yeah. I mean, the cat was sort of heading down the right territory. I would have started by Googling meme. That's what I've just Googled. An image, video, piece of text,

typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by internet users. See, none of these ones that I used as an example made me think, ha, I'll show my friends. Yeah.

Nothing. Put my own spin on it. Nothing. $500,000. That's so much. I feel like we could be making more money in easier ways, you know? Yeah. Should we become a meme factory?

A meme factory. Mm. Let's throw it all in and start a t-shirt company. Oh! Yes. That'd be cool. Everybody loves starting a t-shirt company in the 2000s. Get AS Colour on board.

Good quality t-shirts. Yes. Come up with cool memes. Well, I don't know. You've just put our price point up. We've got to start low. What's a Bangladeshi t-shirt? Yeah, beautiful. Now we're talking. Play ZM's Fletch It's a Bangladeshi t-shirt. Yeah, beautiful.

Now we're talking. Silly Little Pole, which is correct? Log on or log in? I always say log in. I'm going to log on to the internet. But then you're logging on to it, right? I'm logging on to the internet, but I'm logging in to a site house. Yeah. Oh, have we just found the difference?

Is that the difference? I don't know. Well, if you log on, I think I do say log on when it comes to, like, the computer. So log on to. Yeah, I say log on. Like, if I was going to go in on, like, a Zoom, I'll just log on to Zoom. No, but you're logging in. You're logging in.

No, I say log on, though. No, but you're logging in. You log on to the computer, then you log in to Zoom. But then you're also logging in to your laptop, aren't you're logging in. You're logging in. No, I say log on, though. No, but you're logging in. You log on to the computer, then you log in to Zoom. But then you're also logging in to your laptop, aren't you? Sign in. You're signing in. Signing in. You're not signing on.

Okay, what does the nation think? Well, the nation said 69% of the nation said log in. 31% said log on. Now, producer Carween threw a boomer grenade. She was saying that log on people are boomers. Old. What makes you say that, Carween? Saying log on to Instagram or whatever just sounds like, oh, mum being like, oh, can you log me on?

Log me on. Log me on to the Instagram. To the interwebs. Yeah, when you break it up. Definitely. Log me on. Just roll in. Log on, log on, log on.

I'm having trouble logging on. Yeah, that is boomery. Yeah, see? But you're having trouble. That's the boomery part of that sentence. Some feedback. Danielle says, debatable. You log on to your device but log into the apps.

But then you could also say you're logging into your device too. No, but you're not. I know it in my heart. Log in is a noun. Log on is a verb, says Dan. I would have thought the other way around. Log on would be the noun and log in would be the verb. Yeah.

What's your log in? What's your log on? Nah would be the verb. Yeah. What's your log in? What's your log on? Nah, what's your log in? What's your log in? Said it too many times now, it doesn't make sense. I know. Log in, log in, log in. So the other one is high on painkillers and the word finger just lost all meaning. Silly word though. Finger. Finger.

Finger. Finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger. It, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger. It's not a finger. Why were you talking about your finger? I can't remember. I can't remember. Okay.

Alex says, depends on what you're referring to, you'd use a login to log on. So the login is the key. The log on is the action. Okay. Because Jenny says, because when you go online, you log on. Online, log on. No, but you're. That's a whack.

That's a whack theory there, Jenny. There's also an in on online as well, to be fair. Yeah. Tiana says, I've felt, I haven't felt this torn since you tried to make me choose my favorite parent. Oh, yeah, that was one of our best. I picked log on. However, I do frequently say both. Yeah, okay. You're going on the computer, not in the computer, says Tash.

Tash makes a very good point there. But you're going into Facebook. But you're also on Facebook. Technically, you're on the computer. Technically, you're on it. Are you? I imagine I'm opening a door and walking into Facebook. Right.

I'm not jumping on the Facebook motorcycle. Okay. This is one of our toughest years. It is, isn't it? It is. It's really confusing. Well, we're neither here nor there. We're neither on nor in.

We're not, yeah. We've not solved... And we're joined in studio by the hosts, Clinton Roberts from Breein Clint and Jordan How-To Dad Watson. You've got to put how to dad in there because no one knows who Jordan Watson is. You've done too good a job being how to dad

that no one knows your real name. A lot of people thought I was born in China and my name is Hal. More of a traditional surname. Oh, sorry. That got mumbled and lost in translation perhaps. Two's the middle. Two Dad Hal.

Two Dad Hal, yeah. What's this podcast about? Parenting, I guess, from the title, The Parenting Hangover. Yeah, about life as a parent and everything that comes with that and just we've kind of looked at it and gone, are we going to talk about how to parent? No, not really. It's more just talk therapy for people

who are parents and have kids and have been on this crazy journey of making people and raising people as you know and how it changes every aspect of your life. Definitely no expert opinions. That's one way to divide the internet.

Me and Fletcher have a podcast just called The Hangover it's just from when we go out every weekend because we don't have kids and it's really fun it's a good crossover

I've got some parenting advice do you? can we have it? it's the contraceptive pill I take it every morning to avoid it and it just assures that that doesn't happen to me

when we shared this podcast a lot of people said that they would listen to it as a form of contraception they go I don't have kids but I might listen to an episode every now and then when I'm considering having children as a preventative measure. Yeah, because we definitely cover the chaos and the carnage

and everything that comes with it. Between the three of you, you've got seven girls. That's chaos. And no boys. No. Something in the water. I tried. I just.

Have you stopped trying? We, we, we haven't, we, we say we're done. Yeah. And then I haven't officially had anything done to stop me from being done.

Right. And then my wife's very 50, 50. Just two days ago, she's like, I think I want another. And then I kind of took her out of it because I was, I don't know. But we just, we flip flop all the time.

What are you driving for a car? That's why I stopped at two. I can't have a van. I have this. I've talked to him about this. You can fit three kids in the back of a car. He didn't say that. I grew up three kids in the back of a car and it was horrible. Yeah, but there's not a 1995 Ford Tow Star anymore, mate. You've got these big SUVs. Yeah. We were three kids across the back of a Toyota Cressida. And Dad's like, this is fine. But it wasn't.

I don't want to go to a minivan situation. I'm from a family of four. And we made that work. Because back in the day, you could squeeze four kids along the back of a three-seater double cab Ute. You know, double cab Ute. In the middle, you share a seatbelt and no one argues. How do you balance, like, on this podcast, if you've got something you want to tell people that your kids do

that you're proud of without seeming like you're bragging, but then if you're too sarcastic about your kids' achievements, it seems like you're not proud enough of them and then you can't neg your own kids. Balance, talk me through it. We don't know. How do you do it? I don't.

We will figure that out as the words come out of our mouths and then we'll quickly try and grasp those words and shove them back in, but it'll be too late. You're the expert at sharing those stories, Vaughan, and I'd love to know what the balance is. Just having good kids. Sort of little angels. That's just the only answer.

No, I don't know. I think it's great that we've got to a generation of Kiwi fathers that can be proud of their kids. And this is the reason for the podcast, really, at the heart of it is going, there's been a tide shift. It's not a thing where dads are just like, yeah, bloody kids are over there.

Like, it's a privilege to be a father. So why not celebrate it? Why not talk about it? Why not enjoy it? Did your dad tell you he loved you every day when you were growing up? Aww. My dad did. But it might be different.

Actually? We just, I've never. Even now I'll say it to my parents and they're like, yeah, of course, of course, of course. Love you. I think he did. I think he did. But I just remember feeling loved by my dad. So yeah, I think so.

Yeah. I do have this really weird memory set in my brain where I was going on a train to Auckland to stay with my nan for the school holidays. And we're at the train station and dad was seeing me off. He was like, all right, see ya. He's not a hugger, my dad. I was like, see ya, dad.

And I leant over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. And then, and he got really stiff. He was like, oh shit, okay. And then the whole train ride to Auckland, see you dad and I leant over and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then and he got really stiff he was like oh shit oh okay and then the whole train ride to Auckland

I was just going why did I do that why did I give dad a kiss that was uncomfortable why did I kiss my dad that felt really really weird I remember growing up my dad's vision

of showing that he liked you as a son was as he was working on his outboard he'd tell you oh you could come and you want to come

watch me work on the outboard? Do you want to come and watch me tinker with a boat? Us dads now, you know, we get involved and you want to play games and be an idiot and have fun with your kids. But back then, it was a different, and rural dads a bit different. But I was, my dad and all his mates,

very similar, just rural dads. I've got kids, here they are. You want to, you sit, look at the fire. We made a fire, you guys look at that. Anyway, who wants a big bot yeah I come from a family of mouth kisses

don't I oh jeez we all kiss on the mouth always have me and my brother give a little kiss me and my dad me and my mum

now oh we're mouth kisses you kiss your brother on the mouth yeah not like hook up with him just like a

like a family kiss. I kiss a lot of my friends on the mouth as well. The boys find it very strange. I walked in here, I've never really met you, and there was tongue. I know. Sometimes I get a bit carried away when I meet people. Yeah, you're a bit horny at the moment.

Good impression. Morgan, who you do your podcast with, is also a mouth kisser. She's a mouth kisser. I know about her. When you guys see each other, it must just be full on like... It's hot, man. Morgan tells me off because at the last minute

I turn away I'll make her feel like she's going to get and then I'll just turn away a bit and she's like Should we start this clip? Mouth kissing Open the podcast

Should we start the podcast with a kiss? Would that really be breaking down toxic masculine stereotypes wouldn't it if we opened the podcast with a kiss?

Hell of a thing to explain to your wives when you get on there but they wouldn't care They'd be happy that you were getting smacked somewhere else They'd be like there's one less eye I have to deal with open the podcast with a kiss. How long are they going to explain to your wives when you get home though? They wouldn't care. They'd be happy that you were getting smacked somewhere else. They'd be like,

there's one less I have to deal with. It's 2023, mate. You can mouth kiss men. Mates. It's all good. The podcast out now? The podcast is out today. First episode is out today,

The Parenting Hangover. And if you get it and go and follow our Instagram page at The Parenting Hangover, we're giving away a brand new Samsung 55 inch OLED TV

worth like seven grand. Wow. So just go hit the Instagram, The Parenting Hangover. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Good morning. Today's Top Six dealing with the New Zealand military

and how much money they spend on recruitment. Okay. And you may remember it was announced that they were getting a little pay bump. The Defence Force getting a little pay bump. Yeah. That's good. That's because of attrition rates. That's how many people leave.

Trish's rates. Trish's rates. Trish's rates are high, man. Trish how many people leave. Trish's rates are not cheap. Hi, man. Trish is a classy gal. She deserves top dollar. People aren't sticking around. Currently, our military, our New Zealand Defence Force, not currently at full

capacity. The pay's terrible. Yeah. I've got friends in the army and it's barely enough to survive. They're getting a bump. Now, it was then an official Information Act request by the spin-off. New Zealand Defence Force provided its spending on advertising from 2017 to 2022,

a five-year period. Every recruit who's joined the force over the last five years, New Zealand Defence Force spent an average of $3,887 on advertising. Right, so they spent what was the total cost? $5 million? $25.6

million overall for 6,586 recruits across all forces. That's not a good army, navy, air force. No, not great. But yeah, they need more people. We need a defense force, obviously. And not like, yeah, for great. But yeah, they need more people.

We need a Defence Force, obviously. And not like, yeah, yeah, for a range of things. Like, the Defence Force steps up when they were like the Hawks play the floods. Absolutely. They really stepped up. I take my hats off to the people in the Defence Force. We've met a lot of them, haven't we? Remember we jumped out of the plane?

We jumped out of the back of the plane. We've been on the Navy ship. Yes. The new one. I mean, we haven't been invited to W jumped out of the plane. We jumped out of the back of the plane. We've been on the Navy ship. Yes. The new one. I mean, we haven't been invited to Wairu. Yeah, I'd love to throw a grenade. Throw a grenade. I'd love to.

Or shoot a rocket launcher. You can just pull over on the side of the desert road. And just throw a grenade. Simply find the mate. Isn't there a little honesty box? Five bucks gets you a grenade and then you just toss it as far as you can. Good way for the Defence Force to raise some cash. Yeah.

I think a grenade might cost more than $5. Roadside grenade honesty box. Yeah. Great idea. Can I take the grenades home? Because I don't want one right now, but the kids might want one. No, you've got to use it then and there. Yeah.

That's what the honesty system. I've got the top six recruitment ideas for the New Zealand Defence Force. Okay. Listen up. Number six. Employee of the month gets to take home the tank. Yeah, okay. Drive the tank home for a weekend. Maybe drop the kids off the month gets to take home the tank. Yeah, okay. Drive the tank home for a weekend.

Maybe drop the kids off at school and take the tank. And if they're in the Navy, they can take the boat. Good, yeah. Not the big frigate. Don't be stupid. One of those ones that the Navy SEALs scoot up rivers in. One of those inflatables. You got a bit of a chub over an inflatable at the weekend, didn't you?

Well, I just said we were down by the Viaduct. The Viaduct. And I said that would be a great boat for Hayley and I because it looked like it had a little bar. Oh, yeah, it looked cute. It was a black inflatable boat. It was all like launches and stuff and all these multi-million dollars. You're like, I like that one.

No, but what would we do with that? They're too complicated. The same thing the person that owns it does with it. Leave it sitting there. And also, you know I love Navy SEALs and any kind of movie involving Navy SEALs. Yeah, they're too complicated. The same thing the person that owns it does with it. Leave it sit and they cost you a fortune. And also, you know I love Navy SEALs and any kind of movie involving Navy SEALs. Now, is it a Navy SEAL or a Navy SEALion? One's got ears.

It's a SEAL. I don't know. Number five on the list of the top six recruitment ideas for the New Zealand Defence Force. Did they tell everybody about the night vision goggles? That'd be great. Everybody wants to have a turtle on some night vision goggles. Everybody. Everyone wants one.

Can you buy them on AliExpress? I was just about to say, how much do night vision goggles cost on AliExpress? And can I get one with a five-star review? And I'll read the reviews because I don't want to get tricked into buying some. Yeah. Are they on there?

You can buy night vision goggles. At Timu. I bet Timu's got them. Bloody Timu. Yeah, Timu does. $169 on Timu. $ them. Bloody T-Mu. Yeah, T-Mu does. $169 on T-Mu. $41.58 on AliExpress. That's too sure.

That's rubbish. Expensive on Trade Me. Oh, yeah, they will be. They'll just be drop shipped on Trade Me. Don't believe the hype. Four times. $30. I can't imagine that's good, though.

No, I don't think any good. Oh, my God. You can get a laser hair removal system, a whole system. Yeah, they don's good, though. No, I don't need any good. Oh, my God. You can get a laser hair removal system, a whole system. Why are we doing that night vision? Yeah, they don't work, though. $2,300. They don't work. The at-home ones, they're weak.

Are they? Too weak. Okay. Needs to be jacked up. Snap it off. Wide straight into the mains like the oven. You know how the oven's not like a plug-in situation? It's wide straight into the mains.

Yeah, it's the special one. That's what you need. Number four on the list of the top six recruitment ideas for the New Zealand Defence Force. I only recently learnt free dental work. Free dental work. Great.

Great for the teeth. Do a few years, get the teeth sorted. Have a job. Learn a trade. Yep. Make some friends for life. Have great skills. Throw some grenades.

Get your teeth done. Get your fillings done. Number three on the list of the top six ideas for the New Zealand Defence Force recruitment, a thing that shows how hot you'll look in the uniform. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you might be like,

I don't have that body. Not yet. But they make you do runs and climb ropes and stuff. Yeah. It'll come. It'll come. 100%. It'll come in your look.

Your look. Tight. Tight little pants. Tight little pants. Those army uniforms. Let's see you in those tight little pants. Number two on the list of the top six recruitment ideas for the New Zealand Defence Force. Get some of those make-up YouTubers to do a make-up style tutorial for putting on your camo paint.

Yes. And then everyone will be camoed up and they'll be like, I actually look pretty cool. Instead of having them just straight across the stripes, you've got to do it up the cheekbones. Yeah, contour. Contour the camo. And around the eye, just a little flick. And a small flick. A flick at the end of the eye.

You look great, but I can't see you. And number one on the list of the top six recruitment ideas for the New Zealand Defence Force. I reckon just don't let anybody watch any war movies for a bit. Yeah, they kind of kill the buzz, don't they? They kill the buzz, man. They kill the buzz.

Like Saving Private Ryan, you know? Forrest Gump. It was a cool movie, but it didn't make me want to join the armed forces. No. 1917. No, thank you. Oh, absolutely not. Black Hawk Down.

Was that all quiet on the Western Front? That German one that came out last year? I still haven't watched that. Jesus. That is today's top six. Well, Google have announced they've updated a policy. They used to wipe your data if you hadn't logged in in 24 months in two years. But now the entire Gmail account and your entire account

could be wiped if you are inactive for two years. Shucks. So that means your old email address and maybe some old emails and memories are at risk. Some old love notes. Because I feel like everybody had that email account

they started when they were a kid, right, or younger and then you realise that you couldn't be applying for jobs or signing up for things with a silly email. Yes. And so that then became the email you gave if you were just signing up for something random. Yes. Because you didn't mind if that got spammed. Yeah. Is that like

how most people went? I don't have I've had two email addresses before my current one which is very grown up and I can't, I don't have access to them. I think the password was something about llamas, you know, like I can't, it was like, I was a kid. Yeah. I grew

as in G-I-U underscore V underscore baby. Yeah. At hotmail.com. Grew as in grew from Despicable Me movies. Probably. No, I was a big Austin Powers fan, to be fair. Right. And then my other one was Miss underscore B underscore haved.

And I had that one for years. Misbehaved. Yeah, even when I like went out from like high school, then I was like, God, I've got to change this. And did you ever apply for jobs with that? Probably, I think so. Early on. Shame.

Embarrassing. Now mine's like boss babe. Yeah, boss babe. Get it. Get it. Got it. Making money. Got it good.

Eight, nine. At gmail.com. Oh, please don't email me though. That's my person. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brr, brr, brr, brr, skrt. It's brra. Skrt, skrt, brr, brr. Yeah.

Yeet, yeet. Yeah, yeet. No cap. That's what I thought we could do this morning. And I know we've talked about this in the past and it's always so funny. But what is your very first email handle? Did you have a stupid one? No, not like crazy like that, nah.

Carl, big, big, big boy Carl. Big, big boy. Big boy at Yahoo. Underscore, because big boy was always taken. Or was it Yahoo? I had a Yahoo. Yeah, Hotmail had a Hotmail. Had a Hotmail, had a Yahoo.

I was Hotmail. Yep, and now of course Gmail, right? Gmail's the go-to. When. I was Hotmail. Yep. And now, of course, Gmail, right? Gmail's the go-to. When I see someone who doesn't have a Gmail, I'm like, you all right? When they're still rocking a Hotmail, I'm like, what are you doing? Unless they're a business. I can't take a business seriously if their email address is business name here at gmail.com. Yeah, yeah.

Because I think it's pretty easy to set up the – it can go to your Gmail, but it can look like something else, right? Yes. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's got to be at business.com. Producer Jared has just shared what his first email was. What was it, Producer Jared? Lil underscore short underscore A.

Lil short A. Far out. You are so parky, huh? Lil short A. I thought shorties were more feminine. I thought shortie was a female. I was a year six. I didn't really know what the deal was. Wow.

And you've retired this or you've just left it? I've just left it. I forgot the password probably like 15 years ago. See, that's the thing. It's going to be purged if it's a Gmail. Well, I tried once because I was having a memory about a funny boyfriend interaction dumping over email and I was like, I would love to read those. And I tried once because I was having a memory about a funny boyfriend interaction dumping over email. And I was like, I would love to read those.

And I tried to get in touch with Hotmail. And they're like, nah, you don't have enough proof that it's you. And I was like, oh. Because who owns Hotmail now? Microsoft. Microsoft. Do they? Yeah, it is.

Yeah, Hotmail and MSN, yeah, same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the girlies at the producer's booth? What did you rock around with? Shannon? Mine was, and still is, miss.yellow.gummybeer at gmail.com. And we had a whole squad,

so there was a miss.pinkgummybeer. Oh, my God. So that's still my Facebook to this day. Oh, my God. So we're getting this job and having to be authenticated to run the ZM pages. I had to admit to that. I also had missspicy at outlook.com. It's so funny.

Because I didn't know what it was. Sexy emails. Me, like, misbehaved. Yeah, but I didn't know what it meant. I just thought it was a fun thing. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Wow.

What about you, Karwin? Mine was just jellybean illy. Wait, so jellybean, like, Illy as in I love you? Yeah. So you love jelly beans or? It's a childhood nickname. Okay, you were Jellybean. Have your daughters had to set up an email account?

So when they were born, I made them email accounts. Oh, right. Okay. To like get something that they could use throughout their life. Not as, okay, yeah, yeah, right. Not silly ones, but no, but their equivalent I'm imagining would be like TikTok usernames or like a social media handle.

Yeah. Might be this generation's equivalent of bad girl. Bad girl Toot toot toot toot Toot toot toot toot toot I would love to take some calls this morning 0800 dials at M is the number Text through 9696 What was your first email address handle? We don't want the plain We don't want first underscore last name

We want the funny ones that you Cringe at now Points if you still use this email address As well 0800 dials at M ones that you cringe at now are points if you still use this email address as well. Yes. Points if you're still using it. 0800DilesAtM, give us a call now. 9696 to text. Your OG email address.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, Google, Gmail have said that if your account is inactive for 24 months, they're just going to delete it now. That's the policy.

So if you haven't logged on for two years, everything's gone. I think I've got another Gmail. I think I've got one. I set one up when I first came out of drama school, like expecting I was going to be inundated with requests and job offers and whatnot. So I made it to a professionalundated with requests and job offers and whatnot. Hollywood studios. So I made it to a professional one.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Contact Hayley at Universal. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't work. No, it didn't work. Yeah. We want to know your original email address.

How cringe, how bad was it? We'll take some calls. Hannah, what was yours? Mine was skinnystick00 at hotmail.com. Skinny stick. Were you a skinny stick? I used to be, yeah. I could not use that email address in good conscience these days.

Yeah. I don't think that's as embarrassing as some of the ones we're hearing, though. Skinny stick, though, could be misinterpreted very much. It could. Hannah, thanks for your call. Shev, what's your original email address? So I still currently use mine, and I've had it since I was 14, and I'm 35 now. Okay.

It's weird underscore Shevy at hotmail.com. Weird chev. Weird chevy. Weird chevy. Okay, and does that work for job interviews? Well, I did a CV course and I asked them, should I change my email?

Is it too weird? Because it is a bit cringy. But they said, no, it's fine. Use it. And so I've always used it. And then I also didn't realise that hotmail, still having a hotmail is cringy too. Yeah, just in general.

What is your full name? My name's Siobhan. Siobhan. I thought you were like Shev. So I go by Shev and I am a bit weird, I suppose, and I just wanted to own that, so I put that as my email, and I still own it. Wow.

Okay, well, it's obviously working for you. All right, so messages in. We'll add you to our mail chain that we send out every day. We'll subscribe you, yeah, too. Yeah, yeah. We should start doing that. All sorts of deals. A daily newsletter.

The show should do a daily, what do they call it? EDM, electronic direct mail. Yeah. Hey, guys. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. If you missed the show today, boy, we had fun. There was chuckles.

We laughed out louder. Yeah. I just got the login for my professional page. Utterly nothing. Just like 500 promotional emails from when I've used that to sign up to something I've already signed up for. Yeah.

Logins. So there's some that shan't be read on here. My partner's still using secret squirrel69 at hotmail.com. Oh, God. Please get a new email address. How many teenage boys put 69 at the end of their email address? 69 or 007. With no history with the number.

No real understanding. Olivia, what was your original email address? Sorry? Oh, Kia ora, Kia ora. Hi. Hi. What was your original email address? It was Livy Budd.

So it was based off my family nickname, which was Rose Budd or Liver Budd, because my middle name's Rose. Okay. But everybody took it as me being majorly into weed. You lived the bud life. My boyfriend at the time was also Stephen's buzzin', so it was quite the pair.

Buzzing on the buds. Bunked myself our reputation. Brilliant. Olivia, thank you. More messages in. Idabomb at hotmail.com Damn fine 01 at hotmail.com

You know you love me Separated with underscores At hotmail.com Yeah My name is Nay And like Hayley I'm part Maori But the pigment doesn't match

So my email was Nay da white Maori At hotmail.com Nay da white Maori Alvin Lord Paul At hotmail.com. J. Dwight Maori. AlvinLordPaul at Hotmail.com. AlvinLordPaul. I shall email AlvinLordPaul

to let him know advances of the hawk troops. My email was... I don't know what that means, so I'm not going to read it because I feel like that's one of those slang terms that I'm not... Oh, okay. You're not over that.

Can I eat your wiener at hotmail.com? Little Miss Naughty Hannah at hotmail.com. Little Miss Naughty Hannah, there's a Connor. Get over yourself at hotmail.com. Vitamin G criminal at hotmail.com because that was my rap alias. Of course it was. Fantastic. Little Miss Naughty at hotmail.com Because that was my rap alias Of course it was Fantastic Little Miss Naughty

At hotmail.com Cutie Pie At hotmail.com Tennis Ace 2 At hotmail.com Because Tennis Ace 1 And Tennis Ace You know how

How wholesome was Like a sports reference Because they love tennis Yeah With Tennis Ace 2 Because somebody else said But it's always like 7 Yeah Tennis Ace 7 Because there's 6 more Tennis Aces out there Yep Olsen was like a sports reference because they love tennis. Yeah. I'm a tennis ace too. Because somebody else said I grew up in a- But it's always like seven.

Yeah. Tennis ace seven. Because there's six more tennis aces out there. Yeah. I grew up in America, but my mum was a Kiwi, and my email address was kiwiathlete92. Yeah, great. Oh, always the year you were born.

Oh, yeah. Worked that in there. Hip hop horses at homar.com. Hip hop horses. Just think about that for a second. Pink knickers at hotmart.com. I was 15 and I was wearing pink knickers on the day I said it. That was one of the questions in our locker room family Zoom quiz nights

as to how I got my... Wow. I'm embarrassed. But that's the thing, you're 15 and you're like, I don't know. You don't think there's anything, yeah. Try your name, done. Try something else, not available. Two hands, one nose, 89.

Yeah. Well, I'm wearing pink knickers. I could put pink knickers. All of a sudden, you're the 15-year-old with the pink knickers. Yeah. Okay, so we just need to think about these things going forward. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Well, I now, if you've been playing the game with us, have why Milo is called Milo, because we all just have Milo and know about Milo and we never were like, why is it called Milo? It's just a name. It's a brand. It is named Milo. I'm emotional. After famous ancient Greek athlete Milo of Croton. Okay.

It's named after a Greek person. Is he the Greek god of chocolate? No, no, he's not a god. He was just like a really famous athlete. Oh, okay. Super strong. Let me tell you about some of his feats of strength. He would hold his arm out with fingers outstretched and challenge people to bend his little finger. No one

could. He would stand on a greased iron disc and challenge people to push him off it. No one could. He would stand on a greased iron disc and challenge people to push him off it. No one could. He would hold a pomegranate in one hand and challenge others to take it from him. No one ever could, and despite holding the fruit very tightly, it was never damaged.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sounds like a strong tease. He would train in the off years of the Olympics by carrying a newborn calf on his back every day until the Olympics took place. By the time the events were to take place, he was carrying a four-year-old cow on his back, and he carried the full-grown cow the length of the stadium,

then killed it and roasted and ate it in front of everyone. And they're like, Milo. Milo. Nothing. Milo. Sugary Milo. So it was like because it was going to be like a sports drink. Oh, okay.

So he died. Do you want to know how Milo died? How? He was out walking and he came across a villager trying to split a stump with a hammer and wedges. This is where you hammer the wedges in and it splits it and you break it down. Before they had stump grinders available at Hypole.

Yeah. Milo said, oh, can I try to split the wood? Not using any tools at all. And the villager said, oh, yes, you're Milo. I'll go and get you something to eat while you do it. And Milo tried to pull the stump apart by putting his fingers in the crack and just going, pulling it open. Yep.

The wedges fell out and the tree shut, and his fingers got trapped in there. And then when they were trapped in there while he was waiting for the villagers to come back, a lion ate him. Get out. So the story goes. I did not see that one coming. This is very mythological. This surely could get. Get out. So the story goes. I did not see that one coming. This is very mythological.

This surely could get his fingers out. Lucky his stepbrother wasn't there. Now, that's where we start talking about Milo, the ancient Greek athlete, and we start talking about Milo, the multi-chocolate drink. Because Milo has been spotted in Australian supermarket stores with a new product, and it's Milo Pro Powder. So it's 15 grams of protes, bra.

When served with milk. Yeah, so it's... That's not as much as protein powder, eh? Nah, protein is like 25 to 30. Yeah, yeah,'s That's not as much as protein powder, eh? Nah, protein is like 25 to 30 Yeah, yeah, 25 to 30 So, yeah, I guess it's got the gym bras excited Not that I think if you were Laptop soon, Mad

Yeah, I don't There'll still be a lot of sugar though, right? I don't think If you're actually serious about the gym You're not having this You would think so Because I've seen the protein bars. I've gone to the bottom of this and there's protein bars

and I've never seen those before. Yeah, they're actually Milo protein snack. They've got six grams of protein, which is like nothing. That's not enough. That's not enough if you're a host gym brah brah brah. You're never going to split that stump open if you're bloody... Drinking this. Six grams of protein.

How many grams of protein. How many grams of protein in a glass of milk? I don't know. So you're saying the milk's doing... I'd say the milk would be doing a lot of the

heavy lifting in a glass of 15 grams. 3.4. Okay. So it's only going like, what, 12? 12 grams. 11 to 12 grams of

bra. And they'll be like... Bra, you'd have to have so many milos, bra. But also, you don't put what they say to put in a Milo. They'll be like, put in a heap spoon. You're like, no, fine.

Put in five or six. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. So it's going to be available in more supermarkets soon. I'm not jazzed about this product, to be fair. Nah.

But I know people love their Milos. Yeah, well, if you're going to have a Milo, do you know what I mean? If you already have Milo. If it tastes like Milo. Have a Milo with a little bit more protein. You might as well get the protein. Little protein beast. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I have been a true crime girlie for many, many years now. I love listening to true crime podcasts. Well, you're a white female. Yeah, exactly. It's right up your alley, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. I think you're genetically wired to enjoy it. I've been listening to so many. Can I Tell You a Secret? That was good. That was from The Guardian.

I listen to a lot of Case File. That's one of the most popular ones. I listen to a terrible one at the moment but I can't get enough. It's utterly awful. Anyway, I also love watching the docos. And remember, like, once Netflix started making these docos,

it just, like, changed the world of crime documentary. Yeah. Like, any story. And the way they do it, it's bloody quality. Yeah. Now, one of the ones I love is Netflix's Unsolved Mysteries. It's a series, right, about, it'll have a theme. I've seen this. Yeah.

Yeah. These are great. Yeah. Unsolved Mysteries was a TV show back in the day, too. It was, yeah, right, about, it'll have a theme. I've seen this. Yeah. Yeah. These are great. Unsolved Mysteries was a TV show back in the day too. It was, yeah, for years in America, yeah. So they shared a story of, there was a kid that was abducted at the age of nine and she was stolen by her mother who had lost custody. So the father had been granted full custody of the kid.

She was the non-custodial mother and picked her up from school one day and then seven years later, like never heard of, right? Never heard of again. Obviously like this huge, I've just smeared chocolate all over my fingers that whole time I was talking.

Sorry, my coffee's here anyway so never like they never heard of it like all the friends and family and media and everything was hunting for this woman

and this kid and then because Netflix Unsolved Mysteries did a series on them right covering this story one day

someone was out at a cafe and they went huh I recognise that kid. It was the kid. And they reported it to the police and they found this girl. Her name is Kayla Unbehan.

The poor kid. Unbehan. I feel so sorry for the kid because she was, dad was granted custody but then mum was like, you're coming with me. And then God knows what's happened between then and now. But now she's used to being with mum. Now mum's going to lose her. And also she's going to have to go back to dad.

Very important. Very important years. She was abducted at nine. Yes. And now she's 15. Right. Right. I'm just going through.

There's still a whole season three of this Unsolved Mysteries I haven't even seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When did season three come out? Yeah, it just come out. I didn't even know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When did season three come out? Yeah, it just come out. I didn't even know this was a Netflix show. I just always remember that guy with the real creepy voice

doing Unsolved Mysteries on TV but I feel like that was different because he was more doing stuff like the cow is seen being levitated by Yes, yeah, or UFOs. What is only presumed a UFO. That one where it was a death in an Oslo hotel,

that was a good episode. Yeah, really good. And that one, was it a French in an Oslo hotel. That was a good episode. Yeah, really good. And that one, was it a French dad? And he killed the whole family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then just left, and they haven't found any trace of him. I know. And it's nuts.

So he was arrested, obviously, and that's all kind of, she was arrested, sorry. Wait, so sorry, how old is the girl now? 15. Abducted at nine. Six years missing with the mum. Jeez Louise. 600 miles away from where she was abducted,

but she was still in America. And so this guy recognised her from the show. Watched the show. Had he only just watched it? The dad's going to get his teenage daughter back and be like, I wonder if they could have left her a few more years before they found her. Yeah.

Gosh, isn't that a really awful age? Yeah, just when she gets back to that point where she, like, realises that her parents, you know, do have a best interest in her apart from mum who abducted her, but I've been looking for her the whole time, but she's a bit of a bitch. Well, it's kind of an interesting story as well because they would have known it was abducted by the mum because the mum went missing at the same time, right? Yep.

It's a different kind of abduction to, you know, a horrible story where you're wondering if they're alive or not. Yeah, yeah, right. You know, because you'd assume that the mum wouldn't kill her. So, you know, they had all these campaigns, bring Kayla home, bring Kayla home. Now she is. Yeah, I mean, it's sort of a terrible story, but it must be amazing.

This was the... To a founder. The theme tune... Yeah, tell me, is this... Jesus Christ, they look so... Oh, yeah, I remember this. He's got to plug his cord in. What's his name?

He's got to plug the cord in. Yeah, this is a theme tune. Yeah. Also got big James Bond on the Nintendo 64 vibes this theme tune. Yeah. But this was the guy and he had the voice. Yeah. What was his name?

I don't know if he does it anymore. No, he's dead. He's dead, yeah, that guy. No, it's a totally different show. Robert Stack, I think. But, oh, my God, there's a whole season three out. I've got to get all it anymore. No, he's dead. He's dead, yeah, that guy. No, it's a totally different show. Robert Stack, I think. But, oh, my God, there's a whole season three out. I've got to get all over this. Oh, I know.

It's so weird that we feed off this stuff. But this one's a happy outcome. I know, yeah. Oh, hold on. Here's this. Robert Stack's voice. You may be able to help solve a mystery. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Good stuff. Well, the show did help solve a mystery. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Well, from show did help solve a mystery. Play it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, from Tuesday, May the 21st, 23rd, I should say. May the 23rd be with you. May the 23rd be with you.

That's a Star Wars day. Two days after Nan's birthday. Okay. Oh, happy birthday, Nan. Well, Jetstar have announced that two days after Vaughn's Nana's birthday. Nan. Nana's past. Oh, why'd you have to bring that up?

I don't want to talk about it. Why'd you have to bring that up? He brought it up. No, I said Nan. Nan. Nan has passed. Oh, why'd you have to bring that up? I don't want to talk about it. Why'd you have to bring that up? He brought it up. No, I said nan. Nan. You said nan. You said nan. And I'm like, I had two grandmothers. Nan has passed away. No, no, I thought one's a gran, one's a nan. No, no, no. Did you have two nans? No, you're not listening to me. One is a nana.

Yeah. Nana Smith. Yeah. Didn't want to be called Granny Smith because of the apple. Oh. Nan is nan homes. You can't have a nan and a nan. A nan and a. Oh. That makes sense. Nan is Nan Holmes. You can't have a Nan and a Nan. A Nan and a Nana. I've got Nana and Nana. Same thing.

A Nan is the same as a Nana. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A Nan and a Nana are two totally different grandmother titles. Did you call your grandparents different titles? Mine were Nana and Nana and Popper and Popper. Oh, no, no, no. We had Nana and Gangie and Nana and Popper. We had Nana and Popper and Nana and Popper.

Yeah, we just said Gangie. I've never understood the Gang no. We had Nana and Gangie and Nana and Popper. We had Nana and Popper and Nana and Popper. We just said Gangie. I've never understood the Gangie thing. Gangie. Gangie was... Gangie's Khan. My brother was a huge... The Mongolian...

My family, massive fans of Gangie's Khan. I forget about your Mongolian roots. Yeah, not the Mongolian barbecue. We find that slightly inappropriate, especially when it's owned

by a white man. But Gangie's Khan, Mongolian warlord, huge fans here. Huge, huge fans. So Genghis Khan, Mongolian warlord. Huge fans here. Huge fans. So that's why it was Genghis. Yeah. No, we call him Genghi because kids can't say grandparents' names.

Right. So they're Genghi. God, kids are dumb. Okay. I want to be Hayley. If I become a grandmother, I would like to be called Hayley. Granny Hayley? No, just Hayley.

Just Hayley. Don't granny me. Don't remind me. Hayley, can we have a... What is it? Yeah, see, you're going to be bitch. No, I'm not going to be a grandma. I'm going to be such a pain in the ass.

You'll be such a mean grandma. Oh, God, these little rats. Okay, well, Tuesday, dead Nan's birthday or not, Jetstar... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dead Nana. No, she's alive. It's alive, Nana. Alive Nana.

Nan is alive. Marlene, you know Marlene, loves the Warriors. She must be loving this alive. It's alive, Nana. Alive Nana. Nan is alive. Marlene, you know Marlene loves the Warriors. She must be loving this season. It's their season. It's their season. A couple of losses there, but they've had a couple of outstanding losses. She must have stopped Monivato Vice coming back. No, no, no. She probably isn't, actually.

She's pretty conservative when it comes to criminals. May 23rd, Jetstar have announced that they are shaking things up majorly They are changing the bag drop And the gate closure times So if you've got a Jetstar flight coming up

Apparently they're emailing everybody to tell everybody about this But from Tuesday I thought you were going to say that emotional about it I thought that's what you were going to say, they're very emotional about it Bag drop will close 10 minutes earlier On domestic flights in Australia And New Zealand. And passengers will have to check in 40 minutes before departure.

Stop it. Are they trying to sort of fight the we're always late label? Yeah, actually they are. So in the year to date, Jetstar's on-time performance has dropped to an average of just 70%, with April seeing fewer than 64% of Jetstar flights arriving or departing on time, or within 15 minutes. Pre-pandemic, didn't they release stats that were like, look, and it was like airports saying no one is better than Jetstar at being on time.

Oh, no, I know. I think they were, yeah, but I think it's just kind of... They just got lumped with it as part, you know, as the culprits. But all the airlines are always delayed. But I guess it does give them more time to get people ready and on board and it gets more time to get the bags on. So it's probably not a bad thing. They were already sticklers. Like, you know, with New Zealand, you'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm a little bit late.

And they'll be like, it's all right, we'll get your bag in and you get to the gate. I'm a little bit late. Oh, it's all right, on you go. They were like, if you arrived 29 minutes to gate close instead of 30, they'd be like, I'm sorry, you can't go on. You're like, there's the plane. I can see it. I remember having this argument.

Oh, they love that. Oh, my God, I literally see it. They love it, there's the plane. We can't. Boarding has finished. But the air bridge is still connected to the plane. There's the plane. Oh, just walk onto it. I'll climb up the side of it, but connected to the plane. There's the plane. I'll just walk onto it.

I'll climb up the side of it, but I can see it. It's still there. I'm happy to sit on the wing. It's moving. Open the door and I'll run and jump. Yeah. Well, you have 40 minutes now for bag drop in, bag drop closing, and 20 minutes at the gate.

They'll close. And they'll still wear your stuff. They probably will, yeah. And that starts on the 23rd, two days after my alive Nan's 89th birthday. Fantastic. So that's a good way to be able to remember it. Be like, oh, when is this kicking off?

We should also do a topic, a phone-in topic. What did you call your grandparents? Because we've had a couple of text messages. Oh, really? From people that, Porgy. Porgy? One calls my son, calls my dad Porgy Nana and Papa. Nana and Papa. Oh, really? People that, Porgy. Porgy. One calls my son, calls my dad Porgy. Porgy.

That's cute. That's cute. That's cute. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. Well, we kind of touched on before that Jetstar's changing a rule two days after my Nan's birthday, and then Fletch was confused because he kept saying nana twice,

but I've got a nan and a nana. Nana's still, Nana has left this mortal coil. Yeah, but she's with us forever in our hearts. Of course. Yep. In heaven. But your nan is still with us.

Nan's Marlene. Yeah, Marlene's still with us. And next week she turns 89 and she just went to her brother's 100th birthday. I wonder if Uncle Graham got a postcard or... From the king. You've got to apply. You have to register for it.

They don't just send it to you. I'm not living 100 years and then having to do some admin. He's got four daughters. He's got four daughters. Surely someone took care of the admin. Yeah, but you won't have any children when you're 100. I'll do it for you. I'll be dead.

Thank you. Oh, you're not living. You're alive. We're the ones eating cheese scones this morning, not this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's hitting 100 and he's like, I wish I wasn't alive. And we sometime in our 80s are like, life's too short. Anyway, we had a cheese scone.

So, God, we had fun. But it got us talking about the nan, the nana thing and what you call your grandparents. And we just like lightly touched on it. But there were so many messages. Yeah, because I've got a gangie. And growing up, it always took some explaining as to why I had a grandfather called Gangie. Because that's not unique to you. Lots of people

still have gangies. I know they're gangie. Because where does gangie come from? It was what my brother could best muster as a baby when he started talking. Gangie. Rather than granddad or grandpa. Always contentious on how we spelt gangie.

I was a big proponent of gang with an E-Y on the end. That's not right. Every now and then someone would go gang with just the Y on the end or someone would try gang with an I-E on the end. No, because there's more than... E-Y was a lovely balance. Yeah. Very aesthetically pleasing.

But it got us talking about what your grandparents are called because... It's usually inherited as well because like my my mum called her grandparents nana and papa yeah i had a nana and papa and they were very traditional grandparents nana always had pikelets on and granddad was a man who took a papa rather was a man who took all of his feelings and shoved them down as far as he could. Yeah, right. I wish my mum was awake, because she was telling me the other day that they used to... Go sleep in much pants since quarter past eight. Half the day's gone.

Get out of bed. But she was telling me the other day that they recalled their granddad, my mum's Maori, and on her mother's side, the Maori side, the granddad was called something quite racist. What? But, like, openly. Oh, God, I wish I, the granddad was called something quite racist. What? But like openly. Oh God, I wish I could remember what it was called.

This text comes and it's kind of like that. I'll read it to you, but stay with me for the whole sentence. Wait, so don't cancel you yet? Don't cancel me mid-sentence. Okay. My friend had her nana's white nana and black nana. And it was because of her hair colour.

Oh. I think he was black popper because he was really dark skinned. You're more dark skinned than anyone else in the family. I don't think you can do that. But he gave him the South name, which sort of was this normal thing in the family. Imagine now. There's Popper.

You know what? There's some people listening in regional New Zealand that are probably like, I've got a black Papa. So we want to open up the phone lines now, 0800-DIALS-AT-M, and text as well, 9696. What are your grandparents, or what were they called?

Yeah. Like, you remember when we were in Tauranga, and we were getting off the plane, and there was that woman carrying the baby, and she was like just in tears, and you kind of judge from the situation that she was meeting her grandchild for the first time. And I was like, oh, what a beautiful baby.

And she just looked at me like no idea what I was saying. And she was like, a barbushka, a barbushka. Which is like Russian for grandmother. And she was just yelling barbushka at me. And I was like, yep. Yes, barbushka. But that's cool. I love when you've got, like, different languages worked in

because maybe you're, you know, immigrants. Definitely. And I want to hear some different names. Maybe there's a unique name for your grandparents. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. There is just... Dude, the text machine, the web-based text thing,

look at it updating. It's just flying and God, people love talking about their grandparents. I know. Our grandparents just. Dude, I tell my daughters often how blessed they are to know all of their grandparents and have like a relationship with them where they'll be able to remember it. Because it's one of my most treasured and special memories growing up was the time I spent with my grandparents.

You've got little tearsies in your eyes. I do have little tearsies in my eyes. I was just welled up. So, so lucky to have the grandparents I had. They were amazing. And there's one still around and she's bloody fantastic. My grandparents only started dying when I was an adult. That sucks though.

Well, it was amazing though. It hurts because you understand it a lot more. Yeah, that hurts. Nah, they're the best. And if you don't have a relationship with your grandparents, I'm sorry, but Fletch doesn't have any kids and he would love to be a popper one day. I was just going to say, go to an old folks home and find one. Oh, my God.

Like the TV show. Yeah, go and find one. They just want them. Actually, if I can speak seriously, there are organisations that will set you up with sort of a pseudo-grandparent. You go and hang out with them like once a week and they tell you stories and you tell them stories.

I want it so much. You were just saying when you finished filming the great Kiwi cooking show, baking show, whatever it is. The great Kiwi cake making program. You've got all this time that you just want to hibernate. You could, a day a week, just go and visit an old person. Genuinely, round the corner from our house, a massive retirement village development is happening.

I cannot wait. So many residents of our suburb are like, get them out of here. And I'm like, no, my, my, my. Like, please, I want old people around. You're like a crazy cat lady with old people. Yes. Walk in.

Come over for a cuppa. Shake a bag of Werther's. Oh, my God. They'll be straight there. Oh, dear. Rubbing against your legs. Look at this text machine. It is poppin'.

So what do you call your grandparents, or what did you call them? My husband is Wagga. We became grandparents quite young. He wanted to be G-Diddy. That's good. That's good. He's Wagga because when our grandchild was first born, when she first laughed was when he was holding her and he'd go Wagga, Wagga, Wagga, Wagga, Wagga. That's good.

Vaughn's got a stingy nose. Katie, what do you call the grandparents? Vaughn's got a stingy nose. I can feel myself going. Katie, what do you call the grandparents? Are you talking to me? Yes, Katie, we are. It's Casey. Oh, sorry. Casey.

Competent producing panel has put Casey. They will be punished physically. Which one would you like us to fire, Casey? Which one did you talk to? Shannon, Carwin, or Jared? I think it was Carwin. Oh, Carwin. She's the big boss too. She's gone.

KC, not KT. Do you want us to give her a physical or a mental punishment? I was actually just saying to the producers before, I'm in the mood to mentally destroy somebody today. Oh, there you go. Maybe just a written warning. Oh, okay. Okay, I'll get typing. You start that warning there. Maybe just a written warning. Oh, okay. Okay, a written warning.

I'll get typing. Okay, you start that warning there. Hayley, thank you. Sorry, Casey. What do you call your grandfather? We called him Gongle. Gongle! Oh!

Yeah! Is he still with us? No, he passed a couple of years ago, yeah. But the eldest of the cousins couldn't quite muster up granddad, and it became Gongle. I reckon the majority of, like, but the eldest of the cousins couldn't quite muster up granddad and it became Gongle. I reckon the majority of, like, really cute grandparents' names is the oldest cousin. A lot of responsibility falls on the shoulders of the oldest.

Of the first. Oh, definitely. To Gongle. Gongle's cute, though. Yeah, that's real cute. And almost like a bit of technology there, the Dongle. Yeah. Peace and peace, Gongle.

Thank you. Lexi, what do you call Granny and Pop? So I call my Granny, Granny Witch. Why? So I was, of course, the oldest as well. Yeah. And she is obsessed with witches. And I'm pretty sure she used to coax it out of me, but I called her Witchy Pooh.

Witchy Pooh. And what about Grandad? I used to call him Popsicle when I was little because he always used to give me popsicles. Oh, my God. Granny Witch and Popsicle. It sounds like a cute book. It does. A story book.

This is the home of Granny Witch and Popsicle. Yeah, pretty much. But his name's now morphed into Popsie. Popsie. Popsie. Still pretty cute. Lexi, thanks for your call. Hannah, what do you call the grandparents? Pretty standard, but just Nana Barbara and Nana Kath.

And Nana Barbara's husband was Granddad. But Barbara wanted to be called like Hayley, just Barbara. Just call me Barbara. Yeah. There's something kind of cool about it. But Barbara wanted to be called like Hayley, just Barbara. Just call me Barbara. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's something kind of cool about it. My dad was not having that. Because I'm going to be a sore...

If I'm a grandmother, heaven forbid something goes wrong and I accidentally pop one out and then they have one. You know, so be it. I want to be like a sassy, I want to keep a real leather tight skin with like fiery red hair and some durries and I want to be Hayley. Come rub, moisturise Hayley's feet. Thanks Hannah. Dana, what do your kids call the grandparents?

So they call her Zaza because she was just too cool to be a nana. So we had to make something up. And so she's Zaza. So if they're in the shop, they can scream out Zaza and one person turns around. I like Zaza. Zaza's nice.

Yeah, that's cool. It feels foreign, doesn't it? It does, yeah. It feels Baltic. Or like Beliski. Yeah. Yeah, Dana, thank you. So many messages in.

Thank you so much for the response. It's put a bloody smile on my face and a tear in my eye hearing all these amazing stories about grandparents. You're welled up. My kid's called my mum Mero Pop Pop. I can't keep up. The text machine's still rolling.

Oh, my God. Nana Green and Nana White because of the colour of their front doors. Somebody said that – I remember somebody telling me once that they used to call one of their front doors. Somebody said that I remember somebody telling me once that they used to call one of their nanas Bus Nana because whenever she came to visit she always arrived on the bus and they'd go down to the bus stop to get her. Roll in on the intercity. My mum's name is

Philippa so my daughter calls her Nanapilla. Nanapilla is cute. Nanapilla is so cute. That's cute. My mum wanted to be called the old trout. I was like, mum, I'm not calling you that now. She's Mama Margo. Oh, okay.

Mama Margo's got tennis lessons, doesn't she? She won't be at the recital, but make sure your mother records it. I might watch it later. My dad and step-mum inherited Nana and Grandad, but my mum is called Tot for the old trout, and my step-dad is called Gohoff, grey-haired old fart. Oh. So they've taken on the acronyms there.

Nino. My husband's name is Nigel and has become Nino. Nino. That's cool too. That's cool. That's cool too. Fijian Indians call their maternal grandparents M Nana or F Nana. Ah.

Look for. Maternal fraternal. Maternal Nana. Yeah. And their paternal grandparents M Aja and F Aja. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

My grandparents are called Gigi and Yoshimi Mama, which are Japanese. Yoshimi Mama. Oh, I love Yoshimi Mama. Yeah, as long as it's fresh. The salmon's got to be. Oh, it's got to be fresh salmon. I can taste if my Yoshimi Mama is. It's a day old.

It's more than a day old. You've got to dip it in way more soy sauce if it's old Yoshimi Mama. And just get a little ginger and wasabi on there. Someone hates their grandparents. Thanks for bringing me down. Why did you say that? Oh, my God, I love this. My five-year-old calls my Maori papa

Papa Chocolate and my white granddad Papa G-Dog. That's good. My dad's name is Steve and my kids wanted to call him All Matter of Things, but he demanded to be called Dr. Steve. He's not even a doctor. Hello, but he demanded to be called Dr. Steve. He's not even a doctor.

Hello, Dr. Steve. This is Dr. Steve. Oh, wow, what are you a doctor in? Nothing. I'm a grandfather. Oh, so many good messages. Thank you so much for sending them in. Yeah, what did you...

No, I just miss my grandparents. Yeah, thanks. Call them. I mean, not you guys. Not you guys. I mean, like, I've got a call scheduled. I'll be calling Nan for her birthday, so I've got to call them. I mean, not you guys. I've got a call scheduled. I'll be calling Nan for her birthday. So I've got to call them.

Do you have to yell? And does the call last 60 seconds before they wrap it up? No, she's pretty good. We'll get talking about the Warriors. And I don't know anything too much about them. And she'll inform me what Sean Johnson's done wrong this week. I just feel like grandparents are often you call them. You're like, hi, Papa Taley.

Oh, yeah. How are you? Yeah, I'm good. All right, love. And you're like, well, Papa, it's Hayley. Oh, yeah, how are you? Yeah, I'm good. All right, love. And you're like, well, I've just called. My Papa was a shocker. He'd be like, I suppose you want to talk to your nana. I'd be like, no, no, I actually rang to ask you a question.

He'd be like, oh, God. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Hayley, you're the most musically trained and knowledgeable. Thank you. On the show. What did you play? Dude, you can't even clap in time to the Friends song.

No offence. Wait, is it five or four? Four. I can fit five in, so I'm going to put five on. No, we need to do five. I was going to be this way. No, wrong, wrong. Gonna be this way.

No. I can't stop a four. I can't stop a four. It's like a Kit Kat. It's not an all five. Yeah. Oh, my God. I saw't stop a four. It's like a Kit Kat. It's not an all five. Yeah. Oh, my God. I saw the white Kit Kats yesterday.

Do you know I saw an episode of Friends on TV2 the other day that I'd never seen? Get out. Impossible. What happened on the episode? Chandler's chair was broken. Oh, I've seen that one. Yeah, I've seen that. Joey's chair was broken.

Yeah. I've seen that one. Chandler drags. Yeah. Is it when he moves in with Monica and Rachel moves in with Joey?

I love, that's one of my favourite eras when Rachel and Joey live together. It's great. So good. And then they kind of fall in love

and kiss one night and it's just like spoiler alert and then he's like I'll raise your baby So I've never seen that one before which is unheard of, right?

Yeah. When you stumble across the friends you never see. So music. Yes. Tell me, in fact we just talked about this With Chris Parker in studio

As a boy he was a What kind of singing He was a boy soprano A boy soprano So that's high Like those church boys Who are like Correct

And now he's a Because he went through A little thing called Puberty Yeah Today's fact of the day is about a classical male singing, what would you call it? Range?

Range called castrato. Yeah. Oh, castration? They literally cut them off so you could stay singing higher forevermore. What? No. You were like, ah, castration. We're like, yes. And you're like, ah, frustration. We're like,

yes. And you're like, no. It is so bizarre and it still happens. What? Yeah. Where? Yeah.

Like, not in New Zealand. Italy? No. It's not okay that that's happening anywhere. Like, very,

very rarely. Like, a first world society. No. Well, they cut other, do a trim of other things, don't they? Dude, yeah, that's horrible. So the decline of castrato began in the late 18th century. That's so recently. The last great operatic castrato was Giovanni Battista Violuti,

who lived from 1781 to 1861, 80 years old, who performed the very last operatic castrato role ever. I'm wrong. Yeah, I just Googled it. They still have people that would cast themselves as castrato, but they've still got their balls. Oh, right. Okay.

I think they might just tuck them up, pinch them real tight. Right. So, oh, my God, there was rumours that Chris Colfer, you know, that he was on Glee. Yeah. He could always sing really high. There was rumours that he was castrato. But he just said when he was young,

he had a series of illnesses that made him smaller and stuff. So that's, and he could just sing higher through continuing to practice. And puberty didn't hit him too hard so yeah it was literally the act of removing it so that boys could stay pre-pubescent in their their voices have you seen that amazing video that's been going viral of the two singers a young boy and an older man singing, and he's a boy soprano, and he's got the most, like, heavenly pure voice. Have you seen it? It's, like, everywhere on the talk.

He's not a castrato, but that's the quality of voice. And then they would be like... But then when puberty comes, that's when they would be like, we better stop it. Yeah. Because that voice is too good. Yeah. We can't lose it.

Sometimes they didn't tell them it was going to happen because these children were, I don't know, owned by the church that they sang in or something, and they'd be like, hey, you're thirsty, drink that up. And then the kid would be like, what? And I'm not even going to go into it, but there's a Wikipedia page on Castrato, which if you're interested in learning more,

you can certainly Google on your own time. It's got the methods and stuff. Oh, goodness. Okay, let's... Now I'm kind of sitting funny. Yeah, mine have gone up a little. You're kind of like retreating. You better not be getting any ideas there, buddy.

Yeah. That'll be the end of your singing career. Oh, well, you know, I can hit these. Low, low. It'll be the end of your singing career Well you know I can hit these Low Low What's the lowest note you can hit Fletch? He's frustrated Don't laugh Don't laugh

The church cut my balls off And I was In the choir So today's fact of the day In the choir. So today's fact of the day is there is a range in vocals in the traditional singing of classical male singing called castrato and it's called that because of exactly the reason you think. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. As you know, my phone's been very busy this week, hasn't it? The Instagram DMs, everyone wanting to know more about mine and Jason's hot new relationship.

And all sorts. Would you say more friendship or fleeting moment in time? I would say we haven't talked since. Or have we? That's up to legal. NDA. Yeah, right. No, absolutely not.

Anyway, yesterday I had a really busy day and I got three bizarre messages that I was like, it's like my number went out. You know when you feel like your number went out on the internet and people just sort of came across it. So I had a series of messages. There's Madeline Sami. She messaged me.

What did she want? To apologise for something. She... Oh, we were hanging out last night. Oh, right. She did seven days. She did seven days. So we were just talking about that.

That's tonight, by the way, isn't it? If you want to see Hayley on seven days. Yeah, it is. 7.30 on three. My nan, actually, nan, a live nan, she asked me if I could get that off the television. So that's what I'm crusading to do.

Did you tell her I'm on it? Put the final nail in the coffin. Why doesn't she like seven days? She shouldn't be on it at 7.30. No, I don't think she is. Because Vaughn hasn't been on for about 10 years. I don't think she's aware of it. Shouldn't be on it at 7.30. Oh, she wants something else more wholesome.

Yeah. More like some kind of real estate show. For God's sake, that's what she said. Tell them to get that off. Tell them to get that off 7.30. Put it back on late. I'll be in bed by then. It shouldn't be on at 7.30.

Who's watching TV at 7.30? I don't know. She's like, old people, that's who. Oh, okay. Anyway. Shots fired. She literally is the last person in the country with a full Sky decoder to go through. Yeah, she's absolutely fine for options.

Does she record seasons of things and put it on MyPlanning? No, I have no idea how to use MySky. My mum, her Sky machine's broken. Oh. Oh, terrible. She is devastated that her MySky's going to be, because she MySky's everything and just watches it at her own convenience. Yes.

And they just got back from two weeks overseas and she's MySky'd a whole lot of stuff. Oh, no. It's all gone. God, her phone is all on a streaming platform somewhere. If only you could access it some other way. Yeah. Anyway, so I hit normal messages

and then I received one message saying, hey, Lee, and then a name. Yeah. So and so, first name, last name, needs to verify you. Click the link to begin. Oh no, that's a... Or any questions call 0800 969 300.

Right? So that was, I was like, and then I was like, is this the lawyer we've been talking to? Is this, you know, like maybe it's actually a verified thing. Right. I haven't clicked the link though.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, can't get fooled again. In the words of George Bush. Yeah. So that happened and I was like, cool, I'll ignore that. Then I got another one from an email address, but texting me directly. Hello, dear.

I'm indeed from LinkedIn. I'll recommend a part-time job for you with an hourly salary of $70 to $150. Do internal testing for some online apps. It's easy to work. You can work for one to two hours each time. You can get work permits at least six times a week. Up to you to decide.

To apply, please reply yes or interested. Your number's gone out somewhere. You're getting spammed. Yeah, it has. So I was like, oh, I'll just ignore both of those and go about my day. Then at 8.56 p.m., I got, hey, sorry to message you this late. Not that late. Just wanted to... People assume...

Because we're early starters. Nine is late. Maybe. And it is late. We should be asleep, but we're not. By the way, you've been going to bed very early. I went to bed last night at 7.50. Dude, sometimes I text Wedge at quarter past eight

and it's just like delivered and nothing. And then he messages me back at 10 to 5 in the morning. He's like, ha ha, yeah. I'm like, what? Where were you at quarter past eight? He's knackered because he has those busy days. So busy. And after a full delicious 4.30 dinner of mints in the fridge.

We had such a busy day yesterday. Like, I didn't stop. I didn't get my mints to get to cook my mince until like 4.30. Oh, my gosh. Busy day. If the show starts and he hasn't eaten dinner. Oh, no. He just might have to skip it, wait till the morning.

Anyways, this person said, I watched your interview with Jason, and holy shit, that was gold. Literally brought tears to my eyes. Again, sorry for messaging you, and I hope you have a good night. You definitely don't have to reply to this. I totally understand. Who's that? Now it's seen.

That's not spam. Then I was like, that feels, am I in a fight with someone? Hey, like, sorry to message you. I know this is out of the blue. And you don't have to reply. Please feel like you don't have to reply.

I did reply. I was like, who are you? Because if you don't save someone's number and then they message you, are you like, who's this? Sorry, I accidentally got a new phone. No, I don't make excuses. I'll just be like, I don't have your number for some reason. And then they'll message and be like, oh my God, who's this? Sorry, I accidentally got a new phone. No, I don't make excuses. I'll just be like, I don't know. I don't have your number for

some reason. And then I'll message and be like, oh my God, it's this person. I'll be like, how embarrassing. I don't have your number. How good is it when your phone goes through all your email signatures and it's like, this may be, yes. That hasn't happened. This is a straight up unknown number. iPhone owner. So I've got somewhat of a baseline of respect for them. But I came through blue. I know.

Yeah, I never, don't reply to a green. You're better than that. You're better. Psych path. You're better than that. No, thank you. Yeah. But just the tone of it's thrown me.

You don't have to reply. You don't have to reply. Do we sleep together? If you've got an Android, send me a Facebook Messenger message so you're hiding your secret shame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't tell where you're sending it from unless you send me a screen cap and it's got the funny text.

Oh, yeah, the font's all. You're like, oh, really? I always get that when you don't know and then someone will send you a screen cap and the font's different or it's got the funny things up the top where the Wi-Fi signal should be. And you're like, oh, you're one of them, are you? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm actually busy this weekend.

Oh, yeah, no, no, I can't. Yeah. Block, block, block until later. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. AI was asked to create the perfect human bodies, female and male. The Bulimia Project is a UK-based project, an eating disorder awareness group. Yeah.

And they were like, this, I'll show you. I'll show you what's going on here. AI do the perfect bodies. And AI is done traditionally, very stereotypical, good-looking. Ripped. Ripped. Ripped. Like ridiculously ripped. Like no one has that body.

The most desirable woman. No one happy has that body. How they did this was they got like AI to go through social media and stuff and see beauty standards and then create the ideal humans. And the most desirable woman had blonde hair, olive skin, brown eyes,

and slim figures while the perfect man had dark, smouldering eyes, chiseled cheekbones, and defined muscles. Oh, oh. They're a good looking couple. The dude,

his muscles are not stupid. Wait, wait, wait. Are you looking at this one? Oh, no. It sounds like a cartoony one. There's one out there that's really cartoony and terrible and, like, ridiculously ripped. Like, he doesn't even have six abs.

He's got about 30. And his jawline is so chiseled it looks fractured. No, because these are the AI ones that I saw last night, and I said to Sade, I was like, do you think these people are attractive? And she said, well, yes, undeniably, those are attractive people. And I said, AI made them. Oh, my God, look are attractive people. And I said, hey, I made them.

Oh, my God, look at the abs. He's got like a 20 pack. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Like I wouldn't even want to get up all on that, you know? Ridiculous. I like a little on the bod. Little tongue. Yeah, I do.

Also, the results skewered Caucasian heavily. Of course. But it did ask to create different people. So then when skin colour came into it, the body image stuff still stayed the same. Right. Like regardless of if the females were darker, lighter, Caucasian, Asian. Whatever race they were, they still had like toy little bodies.

So the reason they did this is to show that even AI has unrealistic expectations. Yeah. It's just AI is another way of looking at something and comparing yourself to the unobtainable and feeling terrible about yourself. Don't. It's so, I watch, what is the thing which is like, beauty trends change, so you shouldn't.

And there was like this one person used AI to transform herself into what was beautiful in each decade so you went from like renaissance like really curvy and like boochy stomachs and stuff to

you know your Marilyn Monroe curves to like the 90s bloody heroin chic thing and then the tiny ways big badonk like the 90s bloody heroine chic thing and then the tiny waist big badonk from the 2010s. And she was like, how are we ever supposed, what is the perfect body? Because it literally is a trend that changes. Why would we like constantly be going like,

oh, so wait, now I need a fat ass, but keep everything else skinny? You get it big and then skinny comes back in and it's just like, how do I get rid of this ass? You be you. You be you, babe. You should try my reverse diet. It's so much fun.

Because you're coming up to week six now. Week six of no gym, no diet. Just wanted a break. I feel great. I feel better. Results aren't coming in, but I think they're delayed. Great work, guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself.

I'll do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.