ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 18th September 2023

Episode Date: September 17, 2023

Watercare  Top 6: Liechtenstein  Silly Little Poll!  Matilda Green!  The Roman Empire!  Vaughan's Hot Tip  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletchforn and Hayley, two minutes past six. Hi. Can't believe Fiji beat Australia. Good Lord, I know.

At the Rugby World Cup, fantastic. Upset. Love when they get beaten. There is going to be some vunukavukka livers, I'll tell you that much for nothing. I bet. That is going to be one hellaka Vaka livers, I'll tell you that much for nothing. I bet. That is going to be one hell of a celebration. Good on you, Fiji.

Should we go to Fiji? To celebrate? It just feels like... It feels like we might, yeah, I'm sure. Feels like the place to be. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It feels like we could go.

Yeah. I could look at flights. A celebration. To celebrate. Just for today. Do you mean today? I mean, we'll just take off after the show and we'll come back just whenever. I'll just do it opening a ticket.

Yeah, I don't know if that's how jobs work. Auckland to Fiji. Yeah, but our boss is over having a nice time. Where's he? In Raro. Yeah. He won't even know we're not there. Look, three.

Travel date. We'll go today. I'm booking. Is anything going to be really expensive or really? Yeah, use your Amex to get the points. One-way trip. We're good for you. We don't need to come back.

Okay, how much is a one-way trip today? Loading, currently. Oh, here we go. We do have a backpack full of Flight Centre vouchers behind. Oh, I thought I didn't even think about that. We could just use all the vouchers. We could leave it $4.55. That's all right.

For $420 each. I'm not mad at that. No, I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at it. All right, here we go. Booking. You don't have any holiday days. Bag only.

We only need bikinis. You don't. Yeah, I've got... Does anybody have any Fijian timeshare? No. No, I'm out, actually. Some of the Kiwis loved buying Fiji and Timeshare in the 90s. They do.

Someone's probably never used a week of it. Well, we'll be here all week. Your chance this morning on the show to win cash, our cash catch-up continues, $25,000 to give away. So we play eight, midday, and four every day. So your chance to win some cash. The top six on the way. Undecided as yet.

Undecided. Working. Really haven't seen anything really popping out and slapping me in the face. Saying do a top six on me. Or us. Well, this topic. You've got 20 minutes to get it sorted. Did you see that both me and Fletch have brought you in some egg cartons?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I had a lovely omelette yesterday. You've got good eggs. I'll give you that. You've got good eggs. Good eggs. I'll give you that. You've got good eggs. Good eggs. Next on the show, there have been some suburbs in our fine country that have been shamed. Fat shamed. Fat shamed.

I know. Literally fat shamed. Literally fat shamed. There have been some suburbs fat shamed. Oh, my God. Watercare who look after the water in Auckland. Yes. Oh God, I haven't paid my water bill.

Let me just transfer some money to Watercare while we're talking about it. How overdue is that? No, it's because of all this rain we've been having, all my mail is like sodden. And I can't even open the envelope. Well, so you have to dry out the letters and then I just throw them out. I was like, they'll send me a reminder. They posted on social media,

good morning to everybody except people in Henderson, Mangere East, Mount Roskill, Avondale and Highland Park who've been pouring fats, oils and grease down the sink. Apparently the fattiest suburbs in our largest city. Don't you ever pour oil down the sink? Because I know we've talked in the past about fatbergs, which have happened in mostly London

and older cities where the pipes are from the 1700s, 1800s. And they just can't deal with these fat buildups. Yeah. And so it builds up and blocks the pipes, and then all the poos overflows in your wastewater. Oh, gross. Because, yeah, they say basically you might flush, even if it's cold or hot water,

you might flush your oil down the sink after you've fried something. But that doesn't flush away the problem. It'll cool down at some stage on the journey. Yeah, solidify. Yeah. You can get those tablets, those little additive things. A lot of like restaurants use in that deep fry. And so if you've got your oil thing and you put in this tablet,

it like solidifies it completely. So you just pull it out and chuck in the bin. Oh. Yeah. So what are we meant to do? Paper towels. I put it down the sink. I put it down the sink.

I don't use a lot of oil, though. I don't deep fry anything. So it wouldn't be anything major. But you know if you cook like a fish, an oily fish, and then there's a little bit left over? I'm just like, oh, well, there you go. A little bit of hot water to soften her up, and down she goes. Hot water for 30 seconds, and it's gone.

It just disappears. Lubricates the pipes. Until it gets further down and the hot water cools. But hopefully by that stage, it's somebody else's problem. And then it's someone else's problem, yeah. Until it gets further down in the hot water cools. Yeah. But hopefully by that stage it's somebody else's problem. And then it's someone else's problem, yeah. But it does, it costs a lot of money. Because we've got old skinny pipes. Well, yeah, see, you shouldn't be doing this then.

You're just yawning mid-show. Yeah. Tired. Wow. Big weekend, was it? No, I had like eight and a half hours sleep last night. It's almost like it was too much. Six million dollars it costs to clean up overflows caused by oil.

Oh. They reckon? Okay. Yeah, so. So who's being shamed? List them again. Well, I mean, yeah, me. This is Auckland only.

Henderson, Mangere East, Mount Roskill, Avondale, Highland Park. The fattiest suburbs. Okay. So stop it. But also the oldest suburbs. Yeah, what are we meant to do? Paper towel? Scrape it up. Yeah, paper towel. Yeah, paper towel. Let it cool.

Let the pan cool. Paper towel. In the bin. Yeah. Or just like put the hot tap on. Just like. Boil the jug. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now this made me want to say, hey, get a sense of humour.

But then I was like, oh, if someone made me feel like this, I'd feel really sad as well. There was a fella who went on a 24-hour work trip to Barcelona. He lives in the UK. Right. So it's not, you know, not that outrageous. But had to go over there. And then he texts his girlfriend on WhatsApp.

And the message reads, I met someone called Liz in Spain and I've not been able to get it out of my head. Nothing really happened, but it probably would have if I'd stuck around for longer. And the girl goes, Wait, you said this is a prank? This is bold.

This is bold. Yeah. This is a bold prank. Like straight out the gate. And you can see he's like coming over from Spain and be like, he, hee hee hee hee. She messages back saying, oh my god. Next message. Okay.

Next message. Why would you do this to me? Next message. Please don't ever speak to me again. And he's like, well, hang on. And then he sends a picture of a slice of lasagna and he says, Liz Anya. Oh my

God, this dude sucks. Break up with him anyway. That's a dumb prank. Followed by a message saying, she's so hot though. In Spain! It's not even Spanish food! I know. It's Italian, this guy sucks! Then she messages saying,

F off, Jamie. I'm actually not amused. I don't think you know how you just made me feel. And then she said, I was trying to work out whether the name was a joke and you were joking. I couldn't figure it out. She looked up Liz Anya on Instagram. Yeah.

And then he sends a whole bunch of cry face laughing emojis. Yeah. Totally not reading that. He's absolutely just startled her. Yeah. And she reading that. He's absolutely just startled her. Yeah. And she blocks him. And they're no longer together. Yeah, the dude, the dude.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, he gave you the out. Well done. Liz Anya. I mean the names, buddy. Who's put this online? He did. He did on a Reddit thread

and he shared the screenshots of the WhatsApp And I will say looking at the picture of Because he's got the screenshot of his chat with her Yeah He's stuffed up here She's beautiful Oh really? Yeah

And all he did was try to do some stupid laddie prank Yeah no With a picture of Liz Anya And then she said Yeah she was like no I actually just don't want to talk to you And he was like oh are you joking? Blocked Saved a bit of time Anya. And then she said, yeah, she was like, no, I actually just don't want to talk to you. And he was like, oh, are you joking? Blocked. Saved a bit of time here, I think.

Yeah. Well done. You're a prick was the last message she sent. You've got to be careful, don't you? We're sensitive, we creatures. Yeah. As women. I just think it wasn't fun.

It was lame. It was lame, but it really made me giggle. I really want to look up if there is a Liz Anya on Facebook. Elizabeth Anya. Elizabeth Anya. Oh my God, there's a Liz Anya lives in Auckland. No. Liz Anya.

We've got mutual friends. Hang on. What? Who the hell is Liz Anya? Are you a drag? A-N-Y-A. Just looks like a normal person. How is Anya. Are you a drag? A-N-Y-A. Just looks like a normal person. How is Anya spelt?

A-N-Y-A. Oh my God. What do you call yourself? So that's your name. Well, that's Liz Anya. Well, Liz Anya, if you're listening. She's not nearly layered enough to be Liz Anya. Yeah, she doesn't have enough layers.

She doesn't have enough layers. How do we know each other? That's wild. What a mincey treat. You call yourself Elizabeth. I certainly wouldn't go by my middle name. It was Anya. No.

Liz Anya Sproul. Liz Anya Sproul. Elizabeth Anya Sproul. It's probably said. What's the other way of saying that? Anya. Anna. Anya.

Anya. Anya. Liz Anya. But even Liz Anya, that still rolls. That still rolls. That is so good. I love that. I love that.

I just tried to look her up on Twitter and her account's been suspended. I've got 10 mutual friends with Liz Anya. Yeah, Tim Bat. My goodness. Comedians. Comedians. Yeah, okay. Okay.

Maybe it's a stage name. In 2017, her Bravo picture was a woman eating lasagna. So. She knows. So she knows? Are we concluding that she knows? I think lasagna knows. Please.

Play ZM's Fletch Vornanalee. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the United Nations. Look, there's slim pickings on the ground today for a top six. I thought you said it was a new country. No, it's a country's inclusion into the United Nations. Okay, what one?

I've never known how to say it. So that's why today's top six is the top six incorrect ways at some stage or another I've said the country. Number six, Liechtenstein. Liechtenstein?

Number five on the list of the top six ways to say that country. It was inducted into the United Nations on this day in 1990. Liechtenstein. Number five on the list of the top six ways to say that country. It was inducted into the United Nations on this day in 1990. Liechtenstein. Am I getting closer? I think so. I've never known.

Liechtenstein. Number four on the list of the top six ways to say L-I-E-C-H-T-E-N-S-T-E-I-N. Liechtenstein. C-H-T-E-N-S-T-E-I-N. Lie. Chontstein. You had several options for the top six today. Number three on the list of the top six ways to say the country that's known as a kingdom and located smack bam between Germany and Italy and Switzerland. Number three on the list,

Lakenston, which may also be an acceptable way to say it. Number two on the list of the top six ways to say the name of this country, Lichtenstein. That's a way. That's a way. It's a way.

And number one on the list, I learned because I clicked on this thing that says it. So I'll just let the official pronunciation, the Principality of... Liechtenstein. Liechtenstein. Liechtenstein. Liechtenstein.

Join the United Nations 33 years ago today. If you've got any other questions about it, quite a thorough Wikipedia page. It does. I'm just having a look on the Wikipedia page. I've never been to Liechtenstein. I've never. Have you ever been?

No. And you're a big traveller. I will say they've got a nice crown. Okay. It looks like the high on the hills, you know, it looks a little bit... Sound of music-y. Sound of music-y.

Yeah, right. Yeah, it's got a big, big sound of music, Buzz. I have to say, this is a hot rockin' start to the top sixes for the week. It is. Yeah, it really is. It really set the bar high for the rest of the week. Yeah, God. What's next?

I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep up with that. Good luck to whoever's leading the next portion of the show. So 2017 was the year that the fidget spinner was sold the most. Yeah. So we were right about six years ago. Oh, no, 2017 is six years ago. It's not about, is it? Her name, the woman who created this, is called Catherine Hettinger.

Hettinger, we'll go with. Okay. She actually created the fidget spinner in 1993, ages ago. Tried to pitch it to a number of toy retailers, including Hasbro, which is a massive toy company. Yeah, it wasn't the time in 1993. Yeah, yeah.

And she's Florida-based, so they were an American company, eh, Hasbro? Yep. Hasbro. And everyone turned it down, so she ended up getting a patent for it in 1997, but by 2005 it expired, and she couldn't afford the $400

to renew the patent to hold onto the rights for the fidget spinner. Yeah. So that meant anyone could make their own version of it or rip it off, basically. And that's what they did. Which is exactly what they did a number of years later. In 2014, a guy called Scott Miksorski invented the talk bar which was identical to her creation and

it went on to sell millions. As a result. But that was also ripped off as well right? Like any toy or anything that's made in China gets ripped off right? Totally. And then sold on AliExpress or Timu or whatever. The difference being that the Scott fella who came along and saw it and was like, oh yeah,

made lots of money. Catherine, who actually designed the fidget spinner, made not a cent. So after all of those sales, she didn't see a cent. Because she didn't have the $400. Well, you would have given up on it

by then. You're like, it's been years. This isn't going anywhere. Why pay the $400? Totally. 1993, right? She comes up with it. And she was saying it was totally because it was popular for people

who were like anxious, stressed, or neurodivergent, or just, and then like everyone else kind of jumped on it. But in 1993, the kush ball took care of that, didn't it? Yeah, the kush ball really did. The kush ball?

That's right. Oh, the kush ball. I was a little shy. I used to like pull them and snap them. You'd pull them and then you'd try to fire the kush ball took care of that didn't it yeah the kush ball really did the kush balls that's right oh the kush ball I was a little I used to like pull them and snap them you'd pull them and then you'd try

to fire the kush ball but they'd snap yeah and they'd get brittle the kush ball got a little old got dry yeah

it's like it needed a moisturiser yeah maybe a regular oiling of the kush yeah always oil your kush always oil

so everyone who knows her knows right that because she was interviewed we were like didn't you that, because she was interviewed, they were like, didn't you invent this? And she's like, yeah. And everyone asks her all the time, like, are you mad?

Yeah. Because, you know, it's sold millions and millions and millions and millions of units. She's like, no, I'm just really pleased that something invented has actually been used. That's awesome. Cool. Oh, that's what she says, though, eh? Oh, my God, I know. You've missed out on bajillions of dollars.

Yeah, literally. Oh. Yeah. And how much You'd be so, you'd miss out on bajillions of dollars. Yeah, literally. Oh. Yeah. And how much did the other guy make? Because he made heaps. Heaps. Heaps. Not quite a bajillion. Yep. But millions. And she didn't have 400 bucks to pay for the patent. How many,

how many, just back to the kush ball, a little bit, I'm a bit of a nostalgic buzz. Yep. How many strands do you think the average kush ball. Yeah. A little bit. I'm a bit of a nostalgic buzz. Yep. How many strands do you think the average kush ball had? 500. Okay. Oh, God.

I wouldn't even know. How many little rubber, what are described as rubber filaments? Well, because there were two, right? They went through one side and through the other. What do you mean? Just individual bits? Individual sticking out bits. 1,000? 200.

2,000. Oh. Yeah. The individual sticking out bits. A thousand? Two hundred. Two thousand. Oh. Yeah. That was the average amount on a kush ball. See, so you could break a couple off. You could snap a few. You could afford to snap a couple off. Are they still expensive?

Oh, $4.50. Yeah, no, they're not really. AliExpress and Timu have them. Let's bring back the kush ball. Should we make that call again irrelevant? Sure. Oh, that's right. And then there was Donald Duck kush balls, like characters' heads on the kushball. Should we make that cool again and relevant? That's right and then like there was like Donald Duck Cushballs like

characters heads on the Cushball. Those were weird because the best thing about the Cushball was like tossing it around no hard bits. Oh my god this looks so good. I'm going to order some. We should fill a bathtub up with Cushballs. Yeah. Oh no. The rubber would pinch all your hairs.

It'd all be alright. It'd pinch your hairs Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Silly little pole Silly little pole It is so silly silly silly That silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Have you ever fallen asleep during adult fun times? During adult times. Quick and anonymous in-studio show of hands. No. Oh my God, Fletch.

I was just going to say anonymously, one person has not, two people have. Do you know who I imagine? And I don't know. I mean, I've never had a kid, but I imagine new parents. Yeah. When they're like, come on, we're going to get back on the horse. And then it's like. You lie down and it's just like.

Yeah. We'll just have a little spoon A little on the side Nice and easy Yeah Well 18% of people that responded to our poll said yes Well 18% were honest 82% said no I haven't Yep

No I haven't A lot of responses Would have been very hard to make radio friendly Yeah Including the reply from Shah Who said yes would have been very hard to make radio friendly. Including the reply from Shah, who said, yes, and there is absolutely no way you'll be able to dance around the story to make it radio friendly. Oh, thank you for acknowledging. We appreciate that, Shah.

And not even bothering. Brittany says, no, I haven't, but I've definitely wanted to. Breaking, falling asleep. Good from here. Oh, gosh. Faking falling asleep. Good from her. Oh, gosh. Oh, imagine that. Harley says, alcohol played a major part in this.

Yes. Yeah, look, it's not a helpful additive to the bedroom. It certainly isn't. No, no, no, not at all. Sue, who we love having as a listener of our show, and I'd put her at a slightly older end of our demographic, which is, we'll take whoever. That's our official show demographic. It's a show demo.

Oh, my God. We'll take anything. Anything and everybody. She said, no, I haven't. How rude would that be? When you put on your suit, you can't help it. You're tired. Yeah, but she's got to over 60,

and I only know that because she, in a previous message, said she was overseas for her 60th birthday. She got into her over 60s, and she never has. Fantastic. What a girl. She probably has a nice cup of coffee. Oh, get her going. Before a little cuddle.

Kelsey said, on my wedding night. It was a huge day, very long day. I was very exhausted. Husband has never let me live it down. Because some people are just too tired or drunk to even... Do you know, I would say the majority of my friends that are married didn't

do it on the wedding night. They were either just like, yeah, too many drinks. Way too tired. Can't be bothered. I did. I pushed through. I struggled through. can't be bothered I did oh good I pushed through I struggled through

he pushed through pushed through that's one way of putting it yeah good for you mate good for you proud of you yeah yeah yeah that's today's

silly little poll play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley a while ago I shared that Aaron's parents

had done this thing called Storyworth where they collected a bunch of stories from these prompts by this email, by this website, and they made a book. And we read it, and Aaron had a profound, it just was beautiful. So I bought it for my parents. Now, a little update, they haven't done it.

Yeah, no, this is. I'm going to have to chase this for a year. So you were saying every week or every month. They get an email prompt tell us a teacher who influenced you when you were growing up. And then they just free write and then it gets sent off and they don't have to do

anything else. They don't have to do anything else Craig. Sprout. And Patsy Sprout. No, the Aaron's parents I've never met them but they were teachers. Teachers. They strike me as the read and write they're reading and writing type whereas your parents

are the smoke and durries and drink and piss type yes they are they're in Italy and they're like oh this stupid bitch keeps sending us these bloody emails

oh god I don't want to go back gosh she nags isn't she it's very much the vibe it's quite sweet because like you learnt quite a bit

about his parents didn't you oh my god yeah and for Aaron just to see the side of them I was really hoping for quite a profound experience but. You're not getting anything from your parents Yeah well I've got one and I was like a little bit more please. Is it

bare minimum? No mum's alright, dad's was a bit short. Okay What was their first question? Tell me about your mother Tell me about your mother when you were growing up. Oh, wow. Oh, no.

Deep. That's deep. Yeah. Well, my mum and dad would be like, you met them. She was nice. What? You met her. Made a great pikelet.

What do you want from me? Her name was Phyllis. Oh, my God. Why am I being attacked here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want from me? What do you need? Anyway, my mum was like, once we get back from Italy and life is boring again, we'll

get into it. Yeah. But this has come across my desk this morning. A different version. And I reckon based on the website, I think it's the same company. Okay. This one's called Letterloop. Letterloop.

Letterloop.co. And what it is, is it's private group newsletters for friends, families, and teams. So you could do this. I can see Aaron's family once again because they actually really love communicating with each other. A lot. I can see Aaron's family once again because they actually really love communicating with each other a lot I can see this going well with them because you just write little updates and then this website compiles it into a newsletter

so everyone writes their updates and then it gets sent off to the group Oh god, how often is this happening? This sounds like a ball game And the people that are going to be taking it real seriously are always the people with the dumbest updates But you can set it As often as you like

You could do a yearly one Like at Christmas Sounds like LinkedIn No Not everything is LinkedIn If you're after a circle jerk People will tug on it themselves And tell you how great that is

Not everything is LinkedIn Everything's LinkedIn So you can set the frequency The group Yup Can you be admin And like just stop Somebody sending

Wean someone out So you could do like a family Christmas one Extended family and friends Yeah because my mum does a little newsletter every Christmas What we're up to Do people want to know? Well, I mean they know I'm famous Do you get a mention do you?

I follow them I don't know So this has gone viral on TikTok as well because people are doing it when they leave uni. You know when you leave uni or even leave high school, you just like never see people again. I don't ever want to see those people from high school.

No, I know, but you do when you first leave. Do you? You think it'd be nice to keep in touch. Do you make time for the ones you want to see again? Yeah. Yeah, I know. And the ones that fall off are just like, yeah, it's just natural, isn't it?

Well, you could set up a group. We could do this when we all part ways one day in the future. You know, the three of us could set one up and... We'll just have each other on a WhatsApp group or something. We're not real friends. No, we're just work friends. It's all work friends. This is one of those relationships.

Superficial, super superficial. Very superficial, yeah. Disintegrate. I didn't know this weekend was a work trip to Melbourne. Yeah, it is a work trip. Is it? trip to Melbourne. Yeah, it is a work trip. Is it? Okay, wow. Yep.

It is a work trip. Awkward. You guys are going to Melbourne? Yeah, we're going to Melbourne this weekend. Oh. Your wife's coming. Is she? Yeah, Sade's coming.

She'll have a lovely time. She'll have a lovely time. Sade's one of us. Let's be honest. Joining us in studio next, special guest. Matilda Green as one of the cast members of the new season of Celebrity Treasure Island. Yeah, chance for you to win $1,000 too watching the show. We'll tell you how you can win that next.

I thought if she was going to do a celebrity-based reality show, she would have done Dancing with the Stars. She'd be good at that. Because she's into her waltzing. Matilda, oh my God. Stop that before she comes in. Can you get out

of your system? Stop it. That was terrible. Is it out of your system? That was terrible. What week is it this week? Is it the waltzing Matilda?

Oh no. Stop it. Don't embarrass us. Don't embarrass us. What do you... Don't embarrass us. This is why you're not invited to Melbourne.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vorn to Melbourne. Very excited for this. The cast was announced. Huge cast. A lot of funny people. A lot of famous people. One of whom is in studio with us. Matilda, good morning.

Good morning. Thanks for having me. An absolute pleasure. Now, I just, I mean, I was going to say we've grown up with you, but it wasn't that long ago that you guys were on The Bachelor. It was a long time ago. So Art and I were at a little PR event recently, and these two young women came up to us and said,

I remember watching you on The Bachelor when we were in primary school. I was like, oh my God. Welcome to Vaughan and I's world. You guys will relate. What year was that? A geriatric old man came up to us and said, I remember listening to you when I was in primary school. Get out of the way.

How am I older than you? What year was Bachelor? 2015. So it was eight years ago. Oh, my gosh. So I was thinking, oh, yeah, primary school, you'd be 20, you know? Yeah.

Oh, wait, would you? No, you'd be 18. I have no idea. Obviously, we're not here to man. You could be. You could be, like, 19. Yeah. I think the reason that we love you,

honestly, I'm speaking on behalf of all of New Zealand, and I will take the liberty. Please don't speak on behalf of everybody. No, I will. I'm going to say the reason. I can confirm the whole of New Zealand maybe doesn't agree. She said this before and was pro-Russia, so I'm just going to hold my opinion until you've said it,

and then I will sign on. In my own opinion, I think part of what we love about you and Art is that you guys defied the odds, basically, and you're still together baby number three on the way yeah in love and just married and beautiful whereas those shows don't always end that way and so we're just so happy we've just been so happy for you for all these years and now that you're in the cast of celebrity treasure island i feel like you're gonna have a

lot of support because we do we just like you so nice and likeable. And you sing in a choir. I just love it. Thanks, guys. We'll see. Because Treasure Island brings out the worst in people. It does. Do they starve you and make you hangry? Because this is why I could never do a show like that. You would be terrible.

I'd rip people's heads off. It depends. Because you do get rice and beans. And rice is literally my favourite food. Wait, is there too? I love rice. Rice is my favourite food. This is so good. Wait, is there teriyaki chicken?

I didn't hear bread. Yeah. Is there garlic bread? Is there Mama Fiorelli's garlic bread? Well, is there too? I love rice. Rice is my favourite. Wait, is there teriyaki chicken? I didn't hear bread. Yeah. Is there garlic bread? Is there Mama Fiorelli's garlic bread? Well, it depends on the challenges you win, right? Because there are things at times. Because I'm always fascinated about this because for me, being on the show is a nightmare.

For me, it's a hard no. It feels like putting under pressure. And I don't know, It just feels so terrifying. And whenever I see someone I know saying yes to it, I'm like, why? What made you? What drew you in? Oh, well, I feel like when else in life can you do something like that? Totally.

I totally get that. Well, especially like the challenges. Well, you can go to Fiji and just lay on a beach. Yeah. Well, you could. But then you don't get thrown into unknown, really difficult challenges. You could be like, I'm going to challenge myself

to not have a cocktail till lunchtime. Yeah, that's the hardest challenge of all. And 11 in the morning, you're like, well, I don't know if I'll make it. That's the worst to eat. Yeah. Did you, like everyone I know, go being like, this will be fun. I'm just not going to take it too seriously. It's for charity.

And then get there and then, you know, you're in tears on day two and there's gameplay and mind games. Did you get there and then, you know, you're in tears on day two and there's gameplay and mind games. Did you get way more invested than you thought? 100%. Yeah. So I went in just like,

la la la la. It's okay. I was just like, I'm just gonna, you know, be friends with everyone and have fun. And I did do that, but it was a lot more intense

than I was expecting. And like some people came in real hot with, you know, like alliances, strategies. And then that people came in real hot with alliances, strategies and then that got me thinking like should I be doing more of that? Yeah, totally. Because you're only on this

TV show for a few weeks but people will remember how you behaved on it forever. Forever. Good friend of the show, Maddie McLean. Still can't look at him the same. I know, I've seen it twice. He's so competitive. So competitive. Maddie and he's crying and you're like, mad.

But that would be me. That would be me. Well, it paid off for him, right? I mean, he won. So he knows how to play the game. Whereas, like, it's kind of hard. Like, if you're not that, like, if you don't have that type of mind. Yes.

That kind of schemey, like, playing kind of mind. Yeah, totally. Not that he's schemey. He's a schemey little bitch. He's a dear friend of us all. He is a schem he's scheming he's a scheming little bitch he is a scheming little bitch I know

now I know people play so hard as well because not only for themselves but it's for charity who were you there fighting for I was playing for

Variety Children's Charity love oh and it was just so I was really honoured to be able to represent them actually

because they were my first choice and we've been a sponsor for Variety for a long time so just felt really nice really honoured to be able to represent them actually because they were my first choice and we've been a sponsor for Variety for a long time so just felt really nice to be able to do something meaningful with it as well because it's hard

and so it kind of adds another layer of like I'm going to get through this because I'm doing it for someone other than myself. Yes, totally, I can see that. You're more charitable than me you know, there's causes I'd want to fight for but not enough that I would have just beans. Just beans. Not enough that it'd be hard.

Just beans. Not enough that it's hard. Well, I was expecting like at least a can of beans. That's what I was hoping. But it's literally just dry. Like a mixed beans. It's dry kidney beans. Ew!

Yeah. And so every morning we'd be like, hey, are you going to soak the beans or am I going to soak the beans in the water? Who's soaked? That sounds a bit sexy. I'm going to soak the beans. You I going to soak the beans in the water? That sounds a bit sexy. You're going to soak the beans. You're going to pop into tent one and soak the beans.

It's Matt Gibbs' job, soaking the beans. Matt Gibbs is a big bean sucker. Yeah, he is. He's a classic bean sucker. Matilda, I'm so excited to see you on this show. I cannot imagine a world in which you were painted in a bad light. Well, we'll soon find out. First time for everything, isn't it?

Yes. Well, you can watch it tonight on TVNZ2, 7.30. Yes, Celebrity Treasure Island. Matilda, thank you so much for coming in. Best of luck. Play ZM's Fletch Vornanaly. Play ZM. This is literally popping up everywhere on the internet.

How often do you think about the Roman Empire? And it started as a, you know, maybe this is a bit of an antiquated thought process, but when you ask your boyfriend, like, what are you thinking about? And he's like, nothing. I often say. And it's frustrating. Yeah, I'm trying to, I've been trying for a few years

to like break the trend of that. But then Sade stops asking because it'll be something really weird. And she'll be like, how'd you start thinking about that? And I have to backtrack my thought process. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, oh yeah,

it's because we're having eggs. And then she's like, but how did you get to terraforming Mars? I'm like, well, this is my process. I regret asking. I'd rather have just said nothing. Yeah. Well, as a sort of reaction to this,

of us being annoyed with our male partners saying, I'm thinking about nothing, a trend started of asking your partner how often they think about the Roman Empire. Now, you may remember we said this, well, there was two of them. Men have a favourite war. World War II.

And all think they can land a plane. Yes. Now, this is the third part to that, which is that men think about the Roman Empire more than you would think. And the first video is a girl asking her boyfriend, who looks a bit sort of dry, how often do you think about the Roman Empire? And he's like, not that much.

And she's like, oh, he's like three or four times a month. She was like, okay. And then it went on. I mean, the aqueducts. I mean, let's not get started on the engineering feats of the time. What could have been if the empire didn't fall? Of course. I know.

I also constantly have the more cheaper song, Rome wasn't built in a day, rattling around up here. Constant. Constantly. Yeah, that makes me always think of me. We're meant to be. Walking free in harmony.

One fine day we'll run away. Don't you know that Rome wasn't built in a day. Hey, hey, hey. So then other people started making this video, right? And the answer is very seldom, never. The answer is like, I don't know, like once or twice a day.

One guy's like, oh, pretty often. And then he opens his phone and he's got a picture of like a Roman, like a Roman uniform. Yeah. And then I just text Aaron, but he's probably busy right now. But we've been re-watching Rome, the series, which is great. And so we think about the Roman Empire a lot. And like when I'd fallen asleep the other night when we watched an episode,

because I was tousled. She was tousled. And he was like, do you remember where we were up to? And I was like, nah, but I'll pick it up. It's fine. He was like, oh, we were at this point that da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da. And he starts like reeling off all this history. And I was like, I don't remember that at all.

He was like, oh, no, that wasn't on the thing. That's just where we are in history. Right. He knows. He knows. My man is also thinking about the Roman Empire quite a lot. I think I just think about empires a lot. Mongolian, Ottoman.

Yep. Right. Ottomans, my favorite. That's a furniture empire, isn't it? All it's been reduced to now is what you put your feet up on when you're sitting on the couch. But when you sit in an armchair without an ottoman, you are like, bugger man, the only thing that would make this great

would be an ottoman from the Ottoman Empire. Well, I would say the Roman Empire is my favourite. Roman. Greek though. But what's the, is there a female? You wouldn't have the Roman Empire without the Greeks. Yeah. Is there a female equivalent?

I don't know. Because this is also annoying you a little bit, isn't it? Yeah, because we talked about this this morning and Carmen was like, oh yeah, I saw this online and people are going, what is the female equivalent? And then someone was like, pitch perfect. That's embarrassing. So men are thinking about how they can land planes

in the Roman Empire. Yeah. And we're thinking about... I think as well, there's also the argument of true crime and thinking about being kidnapped. I feel like women think about that a lot. Yeah, I think about it. What I'd do, I'd act mad. Yeah.

That's what I've decided. I'd act mad. Like play dead. They'd go to attack me and I'd be like... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Be like, oh, this crazy woman, a wide berth. Yeah, be like...

Whereas I feel like men probably don't think about that as much as we would. Of course men don't think about being kidnapped as much as women, no. They're too busy thinking about the bloody Roman Empire. But I don't know, what's the girl equivalent? I say personally Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah. No, I don't disagree with you there.

A court of thorns and roses is my equivalent. Maybe do you lot think, do you lot? Do you? The ladies. Can you see that? Is that a text? That's what somebody, what is a court of thorns and roses? Is that like Tudor houses?

Because is that more of a ladies thing? Thinking about like the house of Tudor and that, like old royal families. Oh, yeah. Maybe? I suppose so. Yeah, royalty. I don't know. Yeah. Women discuss. Maybe. I suppose so. Yeah. Royalty. I don't know.

Yeah. Women discuss girl vision. It's everywhere. Women discuss girl vision with a male obsession with a royal empire. The TikTok going around that says the woman equivalent is how often do you think

about what your ex-best friend is doing? Oh yes. Wow. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Being kidnapped

is definitely one of them. That's a real window into the psyche there isn't it? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, right. Yeah, being kidnapped is definitely one of them. That's a real window into the psyche there, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Being kidnapped? That's not the same thing. Anyway, if you've got a male partner, I want you to ask him today,

how often do you think of the Roman Empire, and text us. It's at least a couple of times a month. Super fascinating to me. Yeah. And if he says, I don't, say, what about aqueducts? And then he is, and he will not be able to stop thinking about them. Right now, I'm going to share a very funny story of a Florida mom whose name is Monique and her son.

And they have always, he's older than 21, I think he's just above 21 and he has a very similar face to his mother. You know like very much resembles his mum. And people always comment on him being like gosh you and your son look so alike. And they're like ha ha ha. And then one night they're like let's see how far

we can take this. So he goes into her wardrobe and puts on her clothes and some earrings and pads a bra and puts on some skinny jeans, does a little tuck. Yeah. And everyone's like, oh, my God, you look so much like her. And then he finds a wig that is just like hers. And they're like, let's go out and see what we can do with this. So they go to a restaurant.

Mum goes in, orders a big jug of sangria from a Mexican restaurant. Except when there's too much ice. Except when there's too much ice. Except when there's too much fruit. Yeah, I need the fizz to come through. I need a little bit of... Anyway, so she goes in and orders a big jug of sangria and then was like, oh, I've just got to pop to the car. I don't have my identification.

Because in America, they're really strict with it. I've been in America and they've asked my dad for his ID. And then she pops to the car. The son comes back wearing the same outfit and sits down. And you can see, and he hands over the ID, and you can see the guy just being like, you're not the same person. I'm not that blind.

But what the hell is happening? And then the waiter starts laughing and then in the son's low voice he's like, oh my lord, I'm going to get some nachos as well. The waiter's really, really confused and laughing. It's really fun. It really made me laugh. But then I was like,

I remember using a fake ID. Me and my best friend shared one and we would go to the... Because you look the same. Nope. No? Nope best friend shared one. Because you look the same. Nope. Nope. We shared one because we could only get a hands on one and the person in the photo was white and brunette.

And we were white and brunette. And all white people look the same. All white people look the same. All white girls. Yeah, and we would go past the bouncer. Whoever went first would go past the bouncer, show him the ID, and whatever. They probably just didn't care and would let us in.

And then throw it over his head to the next person. Isn't that terrible? So I thought maybe we could take some of your fake ID stories on the back of this very funny situation with this man and his mum. Did you guys have one? I never had one. But it was easier before driver's license had photos on them

and when the drinking age was still 20, it was harder to get booze once it went down to 18 than it was when it was up at 20. Right.

Because I think with driver's licenses you just needed to pass it to them and they'd be like, oh. You just remember the birthday.

No photo. Yeah. Mr. Inga Tugamala would be like, yes. Yeah. Mr. Inga Tua Gamala. I'd be like, yes. Yeah. What date were you born? March. March.

1962. March, about 21 years ago. Yeah, you know me. But all you had to do was remember the, like the address that was on it or the date of birth

because they might query it. But yeah, no, no photos. It would have been easier to do, but I've never had one. Yeah. What about you, Prods? Did you guys rock a fake ID? Producer Jared, did you go to quite

an extent though, didn't you? Yeah. A guy gave me his old one and he had an emo fringe and back then I had quite a mess of curls on my head, so I had to straighten. Big call to have that on your license for 10 years, eh? Yeah.

Yeah, emo fringe. So what, every time you went out, you'd have to straighten your hair? Yeah, and far out it took ages, because obviously I didn't do it ever, so. As an emo, yeah, we spend a lot of time on our hair. Yeah, right. So it does take a big while. Did you ever get caught? Nah.

I got caught once, and they took it off me and called the cops. Yeah, and that was the end of it. I would never ever lend my licence to someone to do this. Yeah, I know. It blows my mind that people just let their friends take their licence. No, we got fake, like fake ones made. What? Yeah, man, I'm a criminal.

I'm a bad girl. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Who made them? Like a friend of a friend. What, like on a laminator or something? Yeah, it was so weird. They made a driver's license or an RA to one of those 18-plus guys.

Driver's license. What? So now they're committing. They were like cardboard. They were definitely not the same quality as the plastic now. Government-level fraud. Yeah. That is wild.

What, are you going to find them now? Are you going to tell me off now? It was just when I was like 17, so I was close to being able to go to clubs. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we want to hear your fake ID stories, whether they were passes or fails, whether you got caught like I did,

and they kicked you out of, God, what was that bar? God, that was terrible. I was going to say sandwiches. Yeah, sandwiches in Wellington. All right, well, 0800DilesAtM, give us a call. You can text through 9696. Oh, sandwiches in Wellington. All right, well, 0800 dials at M. Give us a call. You can text through 9696.

Oh, someone just texted in. I got caught with a fake ID and got arrested two months before my 18th. You've got to wait. Yeah, you're only a couple of months. Yeah, but DeClubbs are calling your name. DeClubbs are calling me. Your fake ID stories. We've got a naughty nation.

Some wild stories coming in, and by no way are we encouraging this kind of behaviour because we are hearing from the people that were caught. Arrested. Yeah. It is illegal. But, you know, I grew out of my illegal activities. Well, no, you just turned 18.

No, I'm a law-abiding citizen. Well, I say I grew out of it. Yeah. Carrie, what happened? Good morning. My mother and I were flying through to Australia. I was in my 20s and you know how one person controls passports? I handed out the passports before we got to the customs booth.

Got through the customs booth, handed back the passport. Mum handed back her passport to me and I opened up and she had my passport. Oh, so you had entered Australia under each other's passports? Under a fake ID Oh my god, are we offended or are we is Mum flattered? I don't know, I didn't know how to take it She had mine and I had hers

Oh my god, you accidentally How old would you both have been at the time? I was in my mid-twenties so Mum would have been probably 50. Oh, wow. Great for her. Great for her. Great for her.

Not so good for Kerry. Well, great for her, yeah. Yeah. We both sort of stood there and went, well, what just happened there? Oh, I can't believe you've entered a country with a fake passport. Well, someone else's. Incredible. Carrie thinks you're cool.

Lauren, what happened? What's your fake ID story? My sister, this is the day before the photo IDs, and she must have been 18, I must have been 16, so she pretended she'd lost her licence and got a new one, so I kept her old one. Oh, yeah, perfect. Yeah, worked, perfect.

Yeah, worked out well. And the cops raided the nightclub that we were in. Of course, I knew her name and I knew her birth date easy enough, but then they made me sign her signature. But he was a really nice policeman and he said, oh, I've taken into account you've had a few drinks and I'll let you go, that's fine. What? I've taken into account that you're a minor who's had I'll let you go. That's fine. What? I've taken into account

that you're a minor who's had a few drinks. You've always got to learn the signature. Wait, so where was your sister during the raid? She wasn't there. I was going to say,

he's like, now you two have got the same name and date of birth. Thanks, you're cool. Beth, your fake ID story? Yeah, my mum made me mine when I was about 15 or 16 years old, back in the 90s. She made you one?

Mum? Yeah, I've actually got mum with me. So it was back in the day when you used birth certificates, no photo ID. So she just basically got my birth certificate, got a photocopy, put my brother's behind it, because he was three years older, used that invisible photocopying tape,

and boom, away you go. Give your mother a slap on the wrist, please. Not even, Mum. Okay, Mum, I'll slap you on the wrist. There you go. She really wanted her teenage daughter to get out there and get pregnant with somebody. Our loves.

Beth, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Oh, God. Okay, so this is quite a popular text. I use nature's fake ID, my big boobies. Yeah, boobies. Had them from a young age. Young bloomers. And then the male equivalent is, I never needed's fake ID, my big boobies. Yeah, boobies. Had them from a young age. Young bloomers. And then the male equivalent is I never needed a fake ID.

I was able to grow a beard from the age of 15. Pubs, clocks, and ciggies. We're talking your Lebanese, your Greek. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Middle Eastern. We are wanting to know your fake ID stories. And some of you are very naughty. Very naughty people.

Somebody messaged in saying, I had the opposite. I was in America and I didn't know you had to be 21. And I was 20 and I had my ID and the bouncer was like, but you're only 20. And they're like, yeah. And he was like, but you've got to be 21. And they were like, what? And then he was like, okay, just get in.

I know America's wild. You can buy guns. Yeah, from 18. But you can't drink until you're 21. So wild. Wild. Yeah. Because alcohol's a problem.

Yeah. Definitely not guns. I went to the same school as Hayley many years before her. Girls of Queen Margaret's Singavale College. And after hearing that we got university entrance accredited, we went to celebrate that afternoon at the tavern in Thornham, the Western Park Tav. The only problem is some of our teachers walked in to celebrate the end

as well. Oh no! And we were only 16. Oh jeez! Did they do a Tav at 16? A Tav! A Tav, yeah. A dark Tav. We love a Tav. Kylo, what was your fake ID story? Hey, I ended up getting a fakeie from Ponsonby just before a girls trip

so we were going over to the Gold Coast a week or two later. So my friends were about six months older. And then for my first night out on my fake, he was on the Gold Coast. Wow. Yeah. Did you get caught at all?

No, we didn't because it was a fake New Zealand license. So they didn't really... So they didn't know what you were looking at. No, they didn't. And then because I didn't really realise it, but I think we went to Sin City or something where they all walk around in bikinis. Oh.

So my little 17-year-old self was like, oh, my gosh, they must be so uncomfortable. So I handed this girl a fiver and was like, oh, put your job, you can do better. Fiver, yeah, that's an incentive to quit your job. That's all paying the rent horn. All I had was a 17-year-old. I was like, oh, my gosh.

So the 17-year-old was like, you can do better. Calm down. Yeah. Also, I feel sorry for you. There was always that one friend who turned 18 so many months later than you. Yeah, the February babies.

Yes. My two best mates were six months older, so yeah, they were. Yeah. Kyla, thank you. Some messages there. Kyla got away with it. I had an idea of a girl

who looked exactly like me. Memorised her long-arsed German name and date of birth as well. Yeah. It worked every time. Went out one night, showed the bouncer the other day

and he said, that's not you. And I said, ah, yes it is. Spelt the name, date of birth and everything. He said, no, you're not.

You're John's sister, Steph. Oh no! No, I'm Lieberlicht in Heisenparker. Born the 28th of January. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM's 25K Cash Catcher. But it continues this week.

We're going to keep going until we give away our $25,000. Kylie, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good, good. Now, for those that don't know, if you're new to the Cash Catcher, it's super easy. Cashy starts running now.

Cashy's collecting money as he goes. Now, the evil IRD have strapped an explosive device around Cashy in an effort to put an end to Cashy. That's so IRD. Such an IRD thing to do. They're cracking down on Hayley's dresses too, aren't they? Oh, they are. Fun calls from the accountant.

Yeah. And all these clothes you buy and claim. And I was like, oh, I don't really buy clothes, but okay, cool. And I was like, man, have you told Hayley? And she's like, I couldn't be the caller. I've put it in an email. I was like, yeah, I thought so. So cash is running.

The IID will blow cash up at some stage. All you've got to do is pull cash from the game and the amount of cash cash is collected before the IID blow them up. Here we go. Let's do it. Ready. Ready. Go.

42. Oh. Ready Go 42 157 265 369 471 Stop To be honest, I was like At 300 I looked at the others I was like, at $300, I looked at the others.

I was like, she's got some balls. No, I shouted at her. She's got some balls. I wanted to keep going. So what was it? $479? $471? $471.

$471. $471. Not bad, actually. And Kylie, let's see how high cash you would have gone. $524. My mouth's gooching. $589. I've finally achieved financial independence. Oh! See how high cash you would have gone. 524. Marlins. Gucci. 589. I've finally achieved financial independence.

Oh, good for you, good for you. You did the right thing. Yes. Kylie, congratulations. Thank you. $171 is all yours with Cash Catch-Up. That's nice. Thank you so much.

Georgia is playing again at midday, and then Brian Clint this afternoon at 4 o'clock for a $25,000 cash catch-up. I don't date anymore. We've given up on that. We bought a house instead and now we've got no money. So we don't do it. So you're stuck?

Is that what you meant? Yeah, we're stuck. Yeah. Luckily, stuck in love. You date more than anyone I know. That's not dates. You go out for dinner all the time. That's just going out for dinner.

That's not dates. That's a dinner date. What's the difference between a date and just going out for dinner? We don't get dressed up. Sometimes we go in our paint clothes and then we turn up to the pub and we're like, sorry. We always say to the best staff, sorry, we look like this. Why do you say sorry?

Because we're covered in paint in a nice place. That's fine. That's fine. I mean, date isn't like go to a movie and sit there by candlelight and talk. Yeah. We don't. Many people date like that. Now, this study out of America says that Americans, the average American,

invest, regardless of age, $120,000 throughout their lifetime in pursuit of love. So what's that? Close to $200,000. Yeah. So next time someone asks when they're getting grandkids, you could ask them for some sort of like financial assistance. Yeah. If they wanted them to.

Yes. So that includes romantic dinners, movie outings, thoughtful gifts, personal grooming, cosmetic products. It all adds up. Wow. And the worst part is 22% of millennials and 90% of Gen Zs have incurred debt to go dating. So ticking it up to like afterpay or credit cards or loans.

Exceeding $500 in a year of either going into your overdraft or credit cards to be able to afford this. With reasons including accidental overspending, an attempt to oppress dates. So you go out and you're like, it's on me, hon. It's on me. It's on me, hon. You sit back. But also, yeah, it's debt.

Also, so reasons for going to this debt include, da-da-da-da-da, and seeking intimacy. Now, what are we doing there? What's that cost? Is it just spending money to... Trim the pubes? No.

No, it's spending money so that you get a date. Yeah. Why do you date? I am seeking intimacy. It was like one element of the date and I was like, what's the seeking intimacy cost?

No, that's the end result. We're talking your pubes. Yeah, the end result of damn pubes. Okay, okay. I misread that. It's like hotel rooms and pube removal. Right. That would be the, I guess,

the reason why we've seen an increase, and we've talked about this over the year, over the last few years, of like dates like yoga or going to the gym or... Freebies, like I've got a gym membership. Yoga's not free. No, but if you had a yoga membership, you could bring a friend.

Oh, gotcha. Or, yeah, like walks on the beach, free dates and stuff. I mean, I've never gone into debt for a... I think I've just always been in debt I haven't you haven't gone

into the debt it's a constant remained in debt it's a constant state of debt constant debt yeah you could say

my relationship with my fiance is one long day and we've accrued many zeros at the end of our debts. Your mortgage. If a mortgage is including me trying to impress my husband-to-be.

Well, that's the thing. Your first date, you turn up with flowers, and then one day you have to house them, don't you? I need to buy a vase. Now we're paying for a vase. I need a shelf to put the vase on. Now we're buying furniture. Need a house to put the furniture in.

Now we're buying a house. I was talking about a house for your partner, not the same bunch of flowers. Oh, right. I thought they were dried flowers. You bring them flowers and then you get them a house. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, if you know me, you know I love Star Wars.

Yep. I love everything about it. I'm yet to, people poo-poo Star Wars and big Star Wars fans are like, that's not as good as, and I don't care. I love it all. Give it to me all. Put it in my eyes and my ears, not my mouth. Although if it was a Star Wars something to eat,

I'd eat it, and I'd love it, and I like it. And at the moment, my favorite Jedi has her own TV series. Ahsoka is a, it's on Disney+. It's Rosario Dawson plays Ahsoka. Okay. And Ahsoka's been in all the animated Star Wars and stuff.

And Sade for years has been putting up with, she turns off I think and just stands there as I talk at her. Yeah. You know that meme where that guy's screaming

in that woman's ear and she's just looking blankly like, that's me talking about Star Wars and specifically Ahsoka Tano. And us as well. We do this as well, don't we?

But no, you don't because you look at each other and say he's talking nerd shit and then you just start talking about something else and ignore me, but I just keep talking. Something real fun. That's what I'm very excited about. Now, last week an episode came out of Ahsoka and it was so great. Hayden Christensen, who you guys did admit was a real cutie in the early 2000s

when he played Anakin Skywalker. I don't think I said that. Not my type at all. I thought you said he was a bit of a cutie because he was in Jumper and then he disappeared.

And he was married to Rachel Bilson. You did say that. Okay, I'm back. Yeah. So I just had to do a quick Google. All those sort of

pretty, handsome, blonde dudes of the early 2000s all look the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ryan Phillippe. Yeah, they all look Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ryan Phillippe. Yeah, they all look the same. Shout out to Ryan Phillippe. Also, shout out to Josh Hartnett.

Yep. He's an Oppenheimer. Is he? Yeah, dude. I still haven't seen. Oh, my God. I know. I'm going to miss it in the feeders, aren't I?

You are. And I don't have to do that thing where I get a banana box from the supermarket and put the iPad on it and lie underneath it for the full cinematic experience. Yeah, that's your iMac. That's my iMac. Bourne's at-home iMac. Yeah. A banana box.

You lie underneath it with good headphones on and you just go in the darkness and you just crank it. A banana box. A banana banana or a chiquita banana box. Yum. So anyway, I had talked about this episode. Hayden Christensen was back as Anakin Skywalker, our first cat.

Don't want to talk about him, but he was named Anakin. Yeah, he was. After Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars cat don't want to talk about him but he was named Anakin after Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars and I said to Sade, I really, on Friday night I said, I want to watch it again and she's like, I want to watch something else and I said in the spare of the moment

I will give you a shoulder and back massage for the entire length of the episode which is 51 minutes long. If you watch this episode with me. Probably $60, $70 worth of massage from the mall. It's Thai length. I've got big Nordic

hands. Yeah, you do. My 11% Danish is all in the hands. All in the hands? All in the hands. He wishes it was more down there. Trust me. Trust me, I really yeah. Trust me.

I really do. My 11% English is unfortunately that part. Yeah. And with these big Nordic hands, it just makes it look smaller. Do you know what, though? You are funny. And women, we love that. Funny and big hands.

Massive hands. That's what you want in a man. So she was like, and I saw her think about it, because she's always like Tickles I need a shoulder rub Scratches Yeah scratches How good are scratches

I prefer scratches to tickles I prefer I like tickles on the hand Scratches over tickles We should all sell a little pole Scratches, tickles or rubs Oh my god no I'm not choosing It's Sophie's choice

Yes I've given you tickles But you must let tickles die To have scratches survive Take tickles but you must let tickles die to have scratches survive take tickles so she I could see her thinking and she's like

okay I'm doing it and I said but the deal is I have to be able to tell you about everything that's happening can she put ear pods in she

nope she is getting the full director's director's commentary I'd just go to the mall about this I sort of left you and gone to the mall for a massage.

It was late. The mall massage probably would have been shut. Those people do, despite what you believe, do have families to go home to. They're too rough as well. Yeah. The mall ones are too rough. And you're a little scared to tell them the pressure's too hard.

Hurry up, that's dry. How's that? You're like, a bit more oil. Dry and real hard. Oh, Jesus, that's dry. Should have paid $5 for the oil. I did pay $5 for the oil and it's still somehow dry. Oh, no.

Oh, you're gripping. You're gripping. So she sat there and we agreed at the end it was the ultimate trade-off because she loved it. Did she actually watch the show? Did she like it? And I was telling her and she was asking questions. Oh, she's playing the role well.

Yeah, she played the role well and I was telling her all about it. And at the end, I was like, what did you think? She was like, it was all right. Which is probably the best reaction Star Wars has had. Wait, so you just did shoulders for 50? Shoulders, neck, bit of head work, bit of scalp massage. Right. Bit of reach around for a boobie or two.

So that's for you, not her. Yeah, I mean, that was primarily just a little self-reward, sort of a halftime orange. A little shoulder like boop. And you're for you, not her. Yeah, I mean, that was primarily just a little self-reward, sort of a half-time orange. A little shoulder like, boop. And you're like, that's no... No, don't get that...

Right, is this going to work every time though? I don't know if I want to... That episode was just so beautiful, so perfect and summed up all of what I've loved

about Star Wars. But was it worth it for you to have to do 50 minutes of hard labour with those massive hands of yours? The Nordic hands. It's been a while. Yeah, right. But I like to think my ancestors grasped

shields and swords. As a result your Nordic hands gave a bit. Did your English side get any? English side. Completely unspoken for. Completely unspoken for completely unspoken for so there you go that's my trade off yeah

that's your tip to get into the TV show you want to watch yeah tickles rubs or scratches for the length of the show and then you don't have to watch

some dumb Kardashian nonsense and you just get to talk okay into the void about Star Wars or whatever you guys want to watch

maybe it's Roman Empire would you watch Kardashian's episode for scratches, tickles or back rub? No, but if there was an invasion of England, I might watch a Kardashian's episode. You know what I'm saying. Fact of the day is next. Do we have a theme this week? We do. What is it?

Road signs. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, tickets go on sale for our live show, 9 o'clock this morning. All the rest of the tickets, pre-sale sold out on Friday. Hell yeah, they did.

So the last remaining tickets, 9 o'clock this morning. It's going to be October 19, Auckland Sky City Theatre. All the ticket information, you can text live to 9696 or ZM online. 9 o'clock.

See you there. See you there. See you there. So we're going to have to do fact of the day live, aren't we? Sing that in front of people. Should we warm up now? That's going to be... It's going to be great.

Everyone can sing along with us. Fact of the day. She's going to like it. You are so excited for this. A chance to just show off In front of hundreds of people It's time for Fact of the Day Today's Fact of the day.

And the fact of the day theme for the week is road signs. What drew this into your brain space? I found one. The fact that I'm giving you today was my introduction. And then I found one other one. And I was like, I reckon I can find three more. Okay. So today's fact of the day.

And the first fact of the day on road sign week, is there are no stop signs in Paris. What? There are no stop signs in Paris. Are they just a giveaway nation? They're a yield. They're a giveaway nation. No stop signs in Paris.

I've never been to the giveaway. Oh, my God. You simply must. Have you driven there? I've never driven on the roads, no. Have you been driven? Been driven? Been driven, yeah. Chaotic? We the roads, no. I've been driven. Been driven? Been driven, yeah.

Chaotic? Chaotic, yeah. We got into a crash as soon as we got there. It's like well-known. I'm reading this article. It's well-known for its chaotic driving, yet no one thinks a stop sign's going to be the answer. Any stop sign's going to be the answer

because that's just going to cause more traffic. Yeah, and they've got that famous, what's that around the Arc de Triomphe? Yeah. Where you just drive and you just gun it. Yes, the free-for-all that is the

Perifer-fer-nerk? That's it. That one, that's it. Perifer-fer-nerk. That's actually what Hitler said when he invaded Paris. He's like, get me the Perifer-fer-nerk.

The Perifer-fer-nerk. That's the one around the Arc de Triomphe. That's the crazy roundabout. I think it is. Or there is a crazy roundabout. I remember that. And then there's the utter chaos of the...

French. Oh, my God. E-T-O-I-L-E. Etoile. Etoile. E-T-O-I-L-E. Etoile. Etoile.

Etoile. Etoile. Etoile roundabout. I apologise to our French. Don't you dare apologise to them. Don't you dare apologise to them. Don't you dare apologise to them. They owe us. What do they owe us? Apologies. Rainbow Warrior.

Wow. Atomic testing in the South Pacific. Yeah, okay. Fair call. You're right up there. One. And baguettes. Too crusty on the outside. Too crusty on the outside.

Too crusty. Too crusty on the outside. Man, they dry out quick. Yeah. Stale before you know it. Okay, yeah, no. They owe us. Okay.

Don't you apologise to them. I'm anti the French now. So, yeah, the whole... I'm not saying I'm anti the French. It's a strong stance. Because now you're anti the entire EU, basically. No, no, I'm not. You're pro. Very pro-Italy. I'm No, no, I'm not. You're pro.

Very pro-Italy. I'm pro. Yeah, I love Italy. I love Europe. And they've brought us a USB-C charger. Yes. They forced that upon Apple, didn't they, just recently? Yeah, they did.

They said, do it. Do it. So not a single stop sign. Not a stop sign. Not a stop sign. Okay. Now, there was one lonely stop sign at the end of a construction facility driveway going into the Croissant Esbogre in the 16th arrondissement.

Again, I apologize to our French listeners. But it got removed sometime between 2012 and 2014 by someone who was not an official council worker, planner, or anything. Someone was just like, took it down, and the council was like, great, it's down now. Great. We just give ways. Thank God we don't have to deal with that. Let's be honest, most people just roll over a stop anyway,

don't they? Oh, absolutely. You're not meant to come for a complete stop. I know. I think the only time people do that is when it's their driver's test. Now, while Paris has a very high rate of accidents on their roads, it's actually well behind in road fatalities because of the speed limit throughout Paris.

Right. Road fatalities are one third of London and a quarter of Rome. Goodness. Oh. So they're saying we don't need the stop sign. We just need people to go slow and people like going slow. So there's going to be accidents, but they're not going to be fatal. So today's fact of the day and the first fact in road sign week,

there are no stop signs in Paris. Are you sure? Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I don't know what happened. So much happened. Fletch's face just was like, wah. Today's impossible phone-in topic is a carry-on from last week. Yeah, where we asked if you'd run over road spikes or deployed road spikes and still very much want to be on both ends of that situation.

Yeah. I want to deploy some and I want to run over some. So I don't know if there's a police training and they need someone to play the role of the criminal. Someone's just messaged in saying that police have to choose between being tasered and pepper sprayed at training. I thought that was urban legend. I thought that was urban legend too. I thought that was urban legend.

Yeah. So we need to hear from someone this morning that has been tasered. What does it feel like? I've been electrocuted when I did that Tough Mudder thing. At the end, you go through all these live wires and they're like, what? Oh, like electric shocks. They actually electrocute you. It's horrendous.

No, they just give you a little electric shock. It's little zaps. Oh, okay, right. But you go through like about 50 wires as you're crawling. I electrocuted myself as a child. I took apart the old family carving knife, but it was on and plugged it at the wall and I touched two things. Carving knives? My dad still uses one.

Ian, can you come and cut the meat? And just wow. Carving knife and I took it apart and it shocked me so badly it melded my fingers together.

Oh God. Lucky. We're lucky he's even here. We are lucky he's here. We're lucky you're here but we don't want to hear from people that have been electrocuted. No, no, no. We're lucky he's even here. We are lucky he's here. We're lucky you're here, but we don't want to hear from people that have been electrocuted.

No, no, no. That is not today's impossible phone-in topic. No, don't even call. We want to know if you have ever been tasered. And maybe the good people listening to this show now

are not criminals. Maybe we don't have a single criminal listening. Well, also, you can call anonymously. We've all had a criminal past. You know, I had a fake ID and I got caught by the police. You've had a very criminal heavy show, haven't we, today?

And we're not promoting a life of crime. No, absolutely not. As we know, crime does not pay. Crime does not pay. Unless you get away with it. I read a story about some people that laundered $123 million and walked away without conviction. That seems crime paid quite handsomely.

So, 0800-DARLS-IT-M, we want to take your calls. Is this the impossible phone-in topic? You can text 9696. Have you been tased? Give us a call. So we're asking the question this morning for the impossible phone-in topic. Have you ever been tased? I can honestly say hand on heart, I have not.

No, Jess, good morning. Good morning, guys. I'm calling about my brother-in-law, who is a police officer who was tasered at training. Really? Back in the day, I think they were rolling out tasers at arming offices with them. Yes.

In the early days of them using the tasers. But yeah, it was in the training room. I had a video on my trusty Motorola Razr that no longer exists. It was before the days of iCloud. You know what else we should talk about one day is what videos you lost because you couldn't get them off your old cell phone. Oh, my God, so many.

Yeah, so many. He was in a training room, like rubber mats everywhere, surrounded by the team that was being trained, and then he volunteered to be tasered. Taser releases two pins when it's fired that lodge into your skin and create the current. So two pins, one lodged in his lower back

and one in his calf muscle and then it's a video with him like, you know, oh F, oh F and like falling to the ground. Your calf muscle? I've got very sensitive calves. I've had like cramp in my calf muscle and it was the worst. No, that was horrible.

Yeah, so I had the videos of him thrashing around and swearing and laughing and stuff and then you have to actually physically pull the pins back out of your skin. To the hooks. To the hooks. So that's why they're so incapacitating. Wow, they work, don't they? Oh my God. Incredible.

Jess, thank you for sharing. Okay, keep your messages coming in 9696. I'm a cop. I've tasered someone. I've been on one end of it. Not interested in being on the other. Yeah. Taser, taser, taser.

The impossible phone-in topic. Well, it's not impossible because we're hearing from people. Have you ever been tasered? Oh, my God. Kev's called impossible because we're hearing from people. Have you ever been tasered? Oh my gosh. Kev's called through. Good morning, Kev. Good morning. Have you been tasered? Yeah, so I rushed home.

I was on my way to the old wharepaku there. There was a police officer in my house. Oh, okay. I was like, hey man, what's going on? You know, can we step outside? And he pulled out his taser, looked me dead in the eyes, and proceeded to shoot me towards the face.

I put my arms up. What? Under my arms. Kim, Kim, Kim. Kim. He just shot you straight away? He didn't say anything else. You were just like, can we step outside?

He said, can we step outside? He said, can we step outside? I said, can we step outside? Yeah. Were you going to shit your pants, were you? You just said, buddy, can I just go to the toilet real quick? No, no. So I wasn't being naughty. I just, yeah, I came in.

Anyway, so he shot me. I hit the deck. I got the worst cramp in my arm and in my chest area where the two prongs went in. Defecated myself. You shat yourself. You shat yourself. I knew that was coming.

You shat yourself. Cam shat himself. Cam shat himself. It must be so rewarding as a police officer to tay someone and they lose control of their bodily functions. Yeah. And then, yeah, his, I think,

higher person came over and was like, wrong person, wrong person. Oh, my mate, Kev. Turns out they missed the house behind mine.

Oh, no! But wait, did they not, there was no time to identify, did they not identify you? It just sounded like there was no warning, Kev.

There was nothing. So they came through the back ranch light. there was no warning, Kev. There was nothing. So they came through the background slider. This was in Chilkout. Yep. And they went through the background slider. I walked through the front door, and I think I startled them. You were afraid they tased you. Yeah, it was.

Are they supposed to say taser, taser, taser, or is that just in my head? I thought they meant to say something like deploying the taser. Pulls out the taser and shoots you in the face. Yeah, he didn't say anything. Now, what did the guy they were actually after, what had he done? I have no idea. They didn't tell me, but...

Well, they shot you in the face. Did you get... And they never told you what the guy had done. No, they just were like, yep, sorry, do you want to press charges? I was like, no, no, you know, accidents happen. That's all right. You shit yourself, Kev.

They were going to let you press charges against the officer that shot you accidentally in the face and made you shit yourself. Yeah, they were really good about it. I would have seen him in court. Did they clean you up or did you have to deal with the shit yourself? Oh, no. Yeah, me and my son, he was two at the time. He was there as well.

What? So your son also witnesses his old man getting shot in the face with a taser, shitting his pants, dropping the gun on not-racing charges, barely a sorry. Is it too early in the week to give Kev corner of the week?

No, that's gotta be corner of the week. He shat himself. We peaked on a Monday. Kev, you are our corner of the week. You've won a $50 McCafe voucher

thanks to our mates at McCafe. Take your son out for a bloody coffee or something because he saw you shit yourself. That's some compensation

the police could have given you actually at the time, isn't it? Just a McCafe voucher. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you. I would be so pissed off. I would be so pissed off. There was no warning.

Sue you so bad. Oh my God. And they didn't even buy you a pair of knickers. That's wild. Wow. And the biggest crime is they never told you what the other guy did. It must have been bad. Because that's your neighbour out the back.

Wouldn't you want to know that this criminal's getting shot on the first sight? Yeah, we ended up moving to the North Shore because of that. Yeah, don't blame you. North Shore, lovely there. Lovely at the North Shore. Nobody can tase it. Oh, my God. Oh, that's incredible, Kev.

We're never going to top that, are we? But, yeah, wow. What a caller. Fantastic. Oh. Who did you tell me you were? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums.

Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Not for me. Vaughan? Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't.

No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating?