ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th April 2024

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Vaughan's back. Hi. We missed you a lot.

The lady at customs told me you did. Yeah. I said, were those your words or theirs? And she said, I didn't hear them say it. I felt it. I felt they were feeling it. Spiritually. Right, okay. Yeah, she had a spiritual. or theirs and she said I didn't hear them say it I felt it I felt they were feeling it spiritually right okay yeah she had a spiritual

whole wedge was missing from our pie chart did she let you away with your pork hooves in your suitcase you don't mean my pork hooves I know you

even though you can get pork hooves here they're not food they're not food no sir it says here you weren't bringing any food or medicine

they're not food or medicine they're pork hooves yeah you weren't bringing any food or medicine. They're not food or medicine. They're pork hoofs. Yeah. And I dare not travel without them. Yeah. What were you using them for? Well, that depends what I'm in the mood for at the time. Yeah.

Maybe I'll just trot them on the desk. Maybe I'll be like, look at me, look at me on the back. Yeah. I would actually enjoy that job so much because that TV show is so great. Yeah. Do you know, I will say I've been through, do you remember when I got my dick patted on the trip to Christchurch? Yeah, man. I got the back hand on the CMB.

The dick got a real, like a battering around I'd almost say. Mike just kind of just hovered the back of the hand, kind of just ran it down the shaft. He ran it down the length of it and didn't take him long. You went like this, you went the length and then you went like a foot. Do you see how long he went for length?

He overshot it. You really overshot that. Really overshot the runway there. You're doing like half a metre. On me personally. Yeah. Oh no, that was just to indicate

that he went, he went, he went, and found the end and it was just, he kept going down the inside. Yeah. Happened to me twice more.

Oh my God. You're an alluring, tanky compliment. I got a medal. One of the people even asked me if I had a piercing. I said no. Measure me with a prince helmet all this time. It must be your fly. It must be your jeans fly. Nah, it's been a heavy fly.

Heavy fly though. Really heavy fly. Do you have a dome fly or a zip fly? On those pair of pants I was wearing dome. Yeah, that'll be it. Let's be honest though, if you saw a hot guy come through,

would you be like... Oh, thank you. No, I would be a professional in the workplace. I know for a fact you would not. 100%. I'd be like,

there's definitely something in here. What is happening there? Can I undo... It might be the fly. Can we take the pants off and get a walk back through? It might be the dome

so we're going to have to remove the trowel. Yeah. Get that trowel off. Yeah. Get back dimes. We're going to have to remove the trowel. Yeah. Get that trowel off. Yeah. Get back through there, big dog. You've got a little free rub. Nice to get some action, isn't it?

Yeah, it is. It's nice to be here. Nice to feel wanted. Nice to feel wanted. That's it. That's it. That's it. Coming up on the show, the top six.

And Vaughn, we thought of this top six yesterday because we knew you'd be flying in. You wouldn't have a lot of time to prep the show. So we've actually written the top six. Well, we want to just say thank you as well. You wrote the fact of the day for us. And we read it out. We honoured the text.

And the fact that last year, a third of people listening to podcasts listened to true crime. Oh, okay. And then we actually stumbled upon a true crime happening right in Fletcher's life at the moment. So we wrote the top six true crime podcasts that New Zealand needs. Oh, okay.

Yeah, we do have a lot of homegrown podcasts. We do. We've got a lot of unsolved mysteries as well. We do. So we'll get to that in the top six soon on the show. Next on the show, though, there is a woman who is consistently praised for being a natural beauty from men. Yeah. She has taken

to the internet to respond. Tallulah Rose. Great name. This is the name of the woman who's gone viral online because she is always praised for being a natural beauty. Right. And I guess if you look at her, I'll show you, she's a very attractive, gorgeous woman.

Kind of got a Liv Tyler. Yes. Liv Tyler, Armageddon. Spot on. Yes. Aesthetic. Yeah, like sort of pale, light skin, like definitely not wearing a fake tan.

I wonder if that sort of contributes to people saying she's a natural beauty. Brown hair. Her lips don't look like ducks folded up like that. She says she's always praised by men and they always go, do you know what I'm about? I mean, I feel for her because I've been here.

It must suck. Not for years. I have no comment. She's always called a natural beauty. Well, why is she upset about this? Well, she's not upset about it, but she just sort of caught, she jumped online to be like, a natural beauty. My jawline alone was $10,000, sweetie.

My lips are done. My alone was $10,000 sweetie. My lips are done. My hair is $2,000. My lashes are $200 every two weeks. What are they made out of? Well like faint lashes. Yeah. Right. Pubs. She gets her pubes removed. Plucked one by one. And inserted

into the eyelash. Curly. Well that's the natural curl. Thick and long. Yeah but they curl out of control. They don't curve like an eyelash, do they? No. You've got to keep it on top of the mascara. Yeah, you'd have to mascara and use the eyelash curler. She then lifts, in the video, she's like,

this is this, $10,000 jawline. It's nice. How do you get a $10,000? Can you actually do that? Oh my God, I wouldn't even know. I so didn't Google it after I heard her say it was that. Shit. She's got bangs though, and in one picture she pulls, I've just Goog know. I so didn't Google it after I heard her say it was that. Shit. She's got bangs though.

And in one picture she pulls, I've just Googled her, pulls the bangs back. Yeah. And it doesn't look as natural. Yeah, because then she goes, look at this. And she like can't move her forehead.

Right. She's like completely wrinkle free. Moveless. Botox. Yeah. She said enough makeup. And she says, she always gets praise for not wearing that much makeup.

She says, I've got enough makeup on to season an effing wok. It's so good. And so when people are saying you're a natural beauty, they're not. She said she was recently told by a man, also yuck, they don't make them like you these days. But also I feel like men would just say that to anybody and men would even say it

if they were looking to hook up men would say it to a woman who was obviously had a lot of work done what a natural beauty because he would assume that's what she wants to hear she wants people to think that this is a natural look for her when he walks away

he's probably like Jesus it didn't move men will say anything to get laid. It turns out. Yeah. It turns out. They'll say next to anything. Yeah. Everyone online loved it.

They're just dumb and they don't know that she has had all this work done. Because they feel like guys as well wouldn't know. With her, that's what I mean. Like, she doesn't, like, it doesn't look like the big fillers are in. The typical look. All that kind of stuff. It's not like the girls on Love Island. No.

How do you describe that shade? Doritos dust. Yeah, Doritos dust orange. Yeah. Yeah, with pumped up from the top to the bottom. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Bottom.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe.

Silly little poe. All right, shoppers. Which style of checkout do you prefer? An Australian supermarket's getting rid of self-serve checkouts Ridiculous Yeah For the future, surely And do you know why it's shoplifting? How would you shoplift in a self

Or maybe we don't give a how-to here on the radio Yeah, I don't think you give a how-to It would be easier to shop with going through the thing. Yeah, because you just pop it. Because if you had a pram or you have it low and they never see over, whereas you've got someone hawk-eyeing the entire self-serve operation.

And I got done, didn't I, with the cameras because I didn't see I'd left something in my basket and the cameras saw it and alerted the supervisor. And you were trying to put potatoes through. You were trying to put kumara through his potatoes. No, I just didn't see the avocado in the basket. Pine nuts through his peanuts. That's a classic.

Yeah. They're watching you now, though. Well, so that's why, because people are shoplifting, so they're getting rid of the self-serves. And there have been other supermarkets in, I think, the UK that are like, you know what? Like, people want humans, so we're getting rid of them. Yeah, I like humans.

Which was probably guised as, again, shoplifting. But that's what they said. Well, 75% of respondees to our question, which style of checkout do you prefer? Preferred self-serve. Yeah, I do. 25% prefer human-operated. Now, our producer, Jared, who was a checkout chick in a former life,

which did you prefer if you were on the checkouts? Because you'd sometimes supervise the self-serve, wouldn't you? Yeah, as a checkout skunk, it's one of my responsibilities. Sorry, skunk, not girl. Was supervising self-serve. I preferred working on self-serve, and nowadays I prefer using self-serve. The only thing with the self-serve, though,

is you always have to get them involved anyway. The booze, they have to come and give you... The booze is always an unexpected item or not scanned. When you're in charge of that, if there was a potty come through, for example... What are we talking? What are we talking?

We're talking a 10. Like a Vaughan Smith 10. Wow, we're talking a Jared 10. A Jared 10. A check out Scux 10, whoever you are. Let's imagine your 10s coming through. And could you fadangle with the machines as an excuse to go over and help them? Yeah, oh, I see you're frozen there, love.

Oh, pretty stark. Behind the scenes, I've just triggered something on my master control. Can you do that? Yeah, I don't know if you can anymore, but when I work there, you could. Pest. Why would you trigger someone's pest? Oh, pest. Very.

Well, that's one pest recognising another pest. I would never. I would just let the 10 shop. I'd think about them later. Like, if someone came through and they had 14 items in their trolley, I'd be like, excuse me, this is actually 12 items or less. Oh my God, piss off. And then they'd be like, nah, it's all right, mate.

And then they'd barge through and do it anyway. Anything under 20 is fine. And what would you do to their machine? Make it? You can just kind of trigger, you know, the unexpected item. There's a few options of those and you can kind of make it go, and then you would have to come over or make them wait. Yeah, I'd come over, but, oh, look,

aisle seven needs an alcohol scan first. Sorry, sir, you'll just have to wait. Oh, and that'll teach him for having 14 items of the 12 items. I was a real prick. Oh, my God. Whereas now, would you take 14 items through the 12 item? Oh, hell yeah yeah but I have a self-serve pen licence. Yeah.

Yeah he's got it. Some people have no idea he's got a qualification. Well Hannah says I'm socially awkward and I'd much rather get in and out and not have to deal with people. Good for Hannah's um you know lots of lube purchases as well. Yeah. You don't want to be making those in front of a person do you? Classic bloody. I'm just

saying this week the club card get get your big tub of lube. You're not going to get anywhere cheaper. Is it on club card, is it, this week? I don't know. I don't have a club card. Right. I wish I did have a club card. Buckets of lube.

Buckets. Buckets of lube. Yeah, okay. So you're only allowed 12 items. I need to get all this lube. 12 buckets of lube. Yeah. Get that all out to the car, then come back in and get your groceries.

Don't forget to swipe your clump card, otherwise you won't get the bucket of lube at discount price. Points, yeah. Abrianzis, especially now that they're starting to bring conveyors and no scales to the South Serve, at least they are in Australia, it's the best of both worlds. South Serves getting conveyor belts? Oh, that would be amazing.

Someone break out my Matchbox cars. I'm having a lot of fun. Yeah, I also wanted to be the boop person. Yeah. You know? Grabbing them off the conveyabout as it came down. Also, Brianna's experience in that. Becca, have we just had three?

Oh, no, it was Hannah with the first number. I was going to say three Bs in a row. Well, not everyone's called Becca. Well, everybody's called, man starts with B. It's coming from you, Becca, actually. Yeah. I've had enough of you, Becca. Well, everybody's called Name Starts With B. Rich coming from you, Becca, actually. Yeah. Yeah.

I've had enough of you, Becca. Yeah. Humans for the Big Shops. Becca Vaughan and Becca. That's the new show. Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. I'm the only non-Becca on the show. Humans for the Big Shops self-serve for a few items. Technology hates me. It takes longer and self-serve with all

the problems that end up coming up. Becca, you might be a 10. Yeah. And it's the person in charge of it is purposely messing with your...

Pesting you. Next time I get an unexpected item in the bag near her, I'm going to look them dead in the eye and be like, thank you.

Is it because I'm hot? Yeah. This is because I'm hot, isn't it? Thank you. Human says, Kat, I want to keep people employed

and I'm a stay-at-home mum. I love a bit of adult conversation wherever I can get it. Yeah, that's fair. Megan, give me the self-serve everything. Yeah, that's fair. Megan, give me the self-serve everything.

Supermarkets, petrels. If I could self-serve McDonald's, I'd do it. You kind of can, right, with the touchscreen.

Yeah, yeah, you order it. Some bars even have QR codes at the table. I hate that. These two hate it. I love it. I hate that.

I love it. Serve me. You know what I mean? Come over, have a chat. Nah. What are we having today, guys? How are we feeling? How's the weekend going?

Yeah, unless there are 10, and then I'm going to be like, I can't get the QR code to work. Help me, please. Help me, please. You're hot, I'm ugly, but I'm the damsel in distress. It's a confusing situation,

and before you know it, they fall in love with you. Yeah. The less I can interact with strangers, the better. Please and thank you, says Megan. Yeah. with you. The less I can interact with strangers, the better. Please and thank you, says Megan.

Yeah. Kate, because as my 93-year-old nanny says, if you don't use the checkout ladies, they'll be replaced by machines. Oh, nanny. See, that's a nanny that's never had to buy

a bucket of lube. No, she made, the older you get. I'd say if she's 93, I'd say probably for the last 30 years. Yeah, you need it. You're starting to dry out.

Oh, you don't know this. This is menopause. You start to dry out. This is fact. You start to dry out from the center out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the opposite of how a microwave cooks. In fact, pop naan in the microwave.

Like, you know when you get a stale muffin, you pop it in the microwave for 15 seconds with a cup of water and it steams it. It'll bring it back to life. I apologise for us talking about your hand. You've got a steamer. Human-operated always seems to overcharge. They sometimes double-scan produce, says Melanie.

That's a conspiracy. No, they don't. What a load of rubbish. That's your microchip talking. Char says, South Serbs are too slow. It gets frustrating. Yeah, it can be slow. Put it in the bag

and then it's like next yeah yeah and I had a lot of feedback on this one okay and we've rattled on about remember her nan

nan is dry steaming nan's muffin yeah self-serve for less than five items and under one bag limit human for trolley shops and oh Grumpy Lisa

oh yeah we had Grumpy Lisa yesterday but she was in a good mood wasn't she she was in such a good mood she was in a great mood she was lovely I can see was in such a good mood. She was in a great mood. She was lovely. I can see here, she took her dog for a hike up Mount Grey.

Yeah. We love Lisa. Grumpy Lisa. She's just said, very to the point, self-serve, less chit-chat. Yep. She's had a gutsful. Yeah. It's on brand for her, isn't it?

It is. She's back. She's back to being grumpy. Next on the show. Does birth order actually impact your personality in terms of where you are in the line-up of siblings? Like this middle attention-seeking child here, Vaughan Smith. Middle minger. Taylor Swift on ZM.

Four o'clock today. The album is out. Yep. Woo! A huge afternoon actually Huge afternoon Because Get your Taylor Swift

Listen to it And then we've got A Warriors game And of course You got up the Waz You'll be up in the Waz I'll be up in the Waz You got up the Waz

Last week What time are the Waz Playing Um Six Because I've got a gig Tonight Six

I'll be up in the Waz I'll be up in the Waz Um I'm Well it's hard Because you're a middle child of three. Correct. Aaron's a middle child of five.

That's your fiance. That's my fiance. Yeah. You're the oldest of two. Yeah. And I'm the youngest of two. So we've got a good little cross-reference. A good spread.

Yeah. Because I feel like there's always been certain personality traits tied to where you are in your line-up. Like being the oldest. Being the oldest. You had to really make all the sacrifices for your younger siblings. You weren't allowed to go out late. Worked harder,

always smarter, more mature, more intelligent, that kind of stuff. The youngest is always spoiled and and like the favourite because they were the last. The middle child, which I'm not saying this is true of this room, but is an absolute attention-seeking brat.

Really. That's true of this room. That is true of this room. I'm not listening to you, but I have repeated dance. And I would like you all. Vaughan. Watch me. No, don't talk till I'm finished. Vaughan but I have prepared a dance. And I would like you all. Vaughn. Watch me.

No, don't talk till I'm finished. Vaughn, have you had a shower? You're showing off. But, but, but, I will have a shower after I go to my dance. You're tired and you're showing off. Because I'm sweaty from all my dance practice. Yeah, well, you're getting hot, you're tired, and you're showing off. Go to your room.

Cool down. I'm sorry about him. Yeah. I don't know. I'm sort of, I guess, as the youngest, I definitely got a lot of attention, but I also had that element of the bratty, look at me, I'm going to put on a show.

Yep. Anyway, so they've done research on it, but apparently historically when they've researched whether or not where you are in your lineup correlates with personality traits, they've had really small little like testing groups and

sample size and they always do it at a moment in time they're always going, well yes the older one is more mature because they're older and they've lived a longer life and actually they did more extensive research around the UK and America and found there's absolutely zero correlation whatsoever.

They're like, there's nothing to say that this person is an extrovert and then this person is more mature or more intelligent. In fact, they said the younger people are often more intelligent. Really? IQ wise. Right. Than their older siblings. And then I was reading further down this little research

because they said this is what the science says and then it was what people experience. And apparently there's groups, you know, like support groups for like middle children. And they get together and talk about being forgotten. I don't mean to laugh. I think support groups are great things. Oh, boy.

They get together. there's no way I'm getting forgotten that's why I've prepared this dance where's our child that dances this unforgettable dance yeah

yeah so apparently like it's a real thing like psychologists are saying yes even though the science says there's no like science behind

people being smarter or more of an extrovert, but there are experiences that people really struggle with where they are in the lineup. I only think about middle child when there's three because I'd be interested. Aaron's the middle of five. Yes.

Then that's too many kids. Yeah, but he did what you did, which is like, look at me, look at me, look at me. But then did the ones either side of him do the look at me, look at me, look at me? Because they're still the middle of the extremes, you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. And then if there's seven, is the middle of the seven just like insanely look at me, look at me, look at me?

Because they're competing with so many. They're so polar, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I just like to imagine the more kids you add to the mix. And then if there's nine, the oldest one's like sort of like a king's, you know, like so mature and so organised. Yeah, and they're sort of like a second father.

Exactly. I don't know why I'm picturing them being a man. And then if there's nine, the youngest one is literally like a 35-year-old walking around being like, I'm still the baby of the family. Oh, my God. Like some extreme situation. I don't know. Yeah.

Well, look, if you're a middle child, we see you. We love your little dance. I'm enjoying a great night. You're very entertaining and really. I'm about to do a roly poly. Oh, wow. Okay, don't hurt your neck. Let's leave this so we don't see the roly poly.

Take him outside and hose him down, I think. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. hose him down. Now, wedding guest list. Do you know, like, we're still not married and I jest about it, but I know that I'm not going to have a big wedding. Well, Vaughan and I have had to postpone our flights how many times now? I've just got the credit sitting there. Yeah. Waiting.

We've got flight credit. Just, yeah. Waiting. I'm just going to have to work. It's just the finer details, my boy. But do you know what? I think go on your Italian holidays. You know, don't wait for me. I can't afford to, and I'm only going to Italy.

I'm literally flying in, waiting, flying home. Really? I mean, it's such a commitment. And I had to go the cheapest flight, so I'm going Auckland, Sydney, Sydney, Singapore, Singapore, Doha, Doha, Qatar. No, no, Doha, Dubai.

Yep. Which I'm worried about now because of the floods. Dubai, Dubai, Turkey. Yeah. Don't hear about what I'm saying. Oh, my God. It's Istanbul. And then Istanbul, Egypt.

Greece. Greece, Egypt, Egypt, Italy. Then back the same path. And you're saving $100. You're still going to get to my parents' tiny village, which is another small plane and a bus. Why don't you just get married in New Zealand? Yeah, well, do you know why?

Part of it's the whole guest situation. Seriously, like when I think about it, Aaron would hate to, one, stand in front of, and two, pay for hundreds of people. Interesting for an actor. Yeah. I know. I know. But he's sort of, I don't know, he likes acting for the craft more than the attention,

which is something I don't relate to. I paid 40 grand for the craft and all I wanted was the attention at the end of it. Yeah. But it's the list. I get anxious thinking about the list. I've got so many friends. And I have a lot of good friends too.

I'm close with a lot of people. It would just be too many people. Now, the reason we're talking about this is because there's a bride that has gone viral online. Someone's kind of dobbed her in. Someone that was made. Someone that made it onto the B list. Oh, I've been on a bit.

I reckon the couple of weddings I've been to lately, we were definitely B list. No, we were B list, but we went. Yeah. Yeah. So we were... B list, you get went. Yeah. Yeah. So we were- B-list, you get the call up when someone on the A-list pulls out or can't make it. Yeah, and they're like, you know what?

We would love to have you. And the weddings we went to, they're new friends, you know? So there was no expectation to be invited, but then you're on the B-list. I was fed very well at both. Yes. I will say. Wow. Look at that.

That is on the record. Much better than I was at Maddie McLean's wedding. Not only- Oh my God, Vaughan. Do you know every time you bring this up, him and his husband get so, actually really cut by it. Well, I'm just saying, someone told the PA I got to cut me off after two bowls. Also though, you were on the B list

for the last two weddings we went to and you were a nightmare guest because you were putting so much pressure on the food situation. They were so nervous, they over-catered. Well, Mike and Matt got me a whisky, I will say, and then he put a password on it at the bar because someone was mixing 10-year-old Glenfinnic whisky

with Coke and I hit the roof. And I said to the bar staff, cut them off. I am a nightmare guest. I just want everyone to have a good time me and I said cut them off they're mixing the good whiskey

with coke you tell them there's no whiskey left nightmare and that got both grooms approval actually this B list is like a step even further

so she's got her A list this bride and that is the list of guests that went to the wedding yeah and were asked to attend

in person. The B-list. Which is Vaughan normally. Yeah. They were outright invited knowing they were the B-list and their invitation was an invite to watch the wedding on Zoom a week later.

A week later like they played back a video. Wait, on Zoom? Yeah. They could have Zoomed in at the time. I know. So this person said, one of my friends who I was closer to before I moved is getting married in a different state and is choosing to have quite a small wedding.

Absolutely fine. Yeah. Absolutely fine. You're never entitled to be invited to anyone's wedding. Totally cool. I'm not there to get mad about not being invited to the nuptials. Having a close-knit ceremony is everyone's prerogative. Yep.

However, a large group of us got an invitation to watch a recording of the ceremony with the bride and groom on a Zoom meeting a week later. In my mind, this is very tacky. Who wants to attend a Zoom session and watch a ceremony that literally already happened a week before? Yeah. I'd just be like, just don't.

I'll watch the little sizzle reel on your gram. Yeah. I'd just be like, just don't I'll watch the little sizzle reel on your gram. I'll watch you post photos for the next 10 years about your wedding. And every year afterwards. I'll mute it. And every two months. And not turn my camera on. Yeah. And I still can't get the camera to work, but I'm here. Mute. Oh yeah, that's what you do. Off I try.

You do that for work meetings, don't you? Get some stuff done. Yeah. Oh God. I mean, just why bother? Yeah. Having a B-list. And you're kind of like saying to your friends, you're B. You're a B-friend. You're a B-friend. Or you need to make all of your friends feel like they're A-friends.

You've got to make your friends feel like you would theoretically invite them to Italy to come to your small, quaint, small town, intimate friends. Like closest friends and family only. Let them book flights and stuff. I didn't encourage that. You did.

You literally did. I booked a lot of... Remember she said book the flights now where I'm having a wedding. Yeah, my question is when I said that, how many Proseccos had I had? I don't take that into account when it's real friendship. You really should. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

You two behave. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. The top six true crime prog crush New Zealand needs. Yeah, we put this together for Vaughan because you were flying yesterday. Do you have an author?

Prepping the show? Did you have a meeting yesterday? Well, we had a show, yeah, staff meeting. So we had some time. So we just did a bit of work on the show. And we found a story more than a third, 34% of Americans last year listened to, who listened to podcasts, listened to podcasts listened to true crime

and of those listeners women are twice as likely than men to opt for the genre i love it i mean we know this don't we until i started ingesting smart which i'm doing exclusively at the moment yeah it was only true crime for me yeah and I would reach a toe out and listen like I like Hediway and, you know, Smartless and stuff, but always back to true crime. Really? Also, you would say that your adult erotica, the smart, as you call it, that's huge at the moment, audio box. Yeah.

You would say a lot of that encompasses true crime? Mafia stuff. Yes. And, like, all being, like, rescued from criminals and whatnot. Yeah. Well, there's a crossover. Well, here are the top six true crime podcasts. I'm really struggling with that one.

Crack your crown picker. As written by Fletch and Hayley, number six on the list. Fletch's Olympic pool toilet blocker. Now, dive into this. I've been going back to my old pool because my one's shut for renos at the moment. There's a sign outside the toilets that says someone's blocking the toilet constantly.

Too much toilet paper? Purposely. Like, ramming it. If you know anything, like, please alert the staff. And we were like, that'd be a great podcast for us to do. Investigative.

It's like a shithead. It's a shithead kid, right? Or is it one of those times where an adult does something weird? Yeah. That's what we'll explore in the podcast. We'll talk to a psychiatrist

about toilet stuff. Yeah, yeah. We'll get a teenager and he'll be like, us whales, it wasn't me. Yeah. That's our teenager's talk. Us whales, it may have.

Us whales. That's a teenager from the 1880s, the Midwest. And there you'll find out it's like the owner of the pool, like self-sabotaging.

You know what I mean? There's something in this. There's something in this. I think it's a council pool. No, there's something in this. It's the council. It's the council. It's the council.

They want the pools gone. They cost so much money. They're trying to... Okay, well, don't get me banned from the pool, guys. Well, number five... Oh, my God. We do the podcast to investigate. Turns out it was Fletch.

No, because the sign was up before I even got there. That's what he said. Because if you listen Yeah, you snuck in under somebody else's beforehand. The thing this guy will do for radio content. Oh no. I tell you what, he'll do anything for a little bit of content for the radio. Number five on the list of the top six

true crime. Why can't you say that? I do not know. Top six true crime podcasts. No, because you put an R in the podcast. Yeah, I know. I know, but it's staying there. True crime podcasts. Who's the Invercargill Phantom Pool Pooper?

Because they were back. Yeah. When were they back? Well, they had that real run of it, remember? Yeah. This was a guy or girl who was pooping in the pool and they never found out who it was. It's a guy. And then it stopped and then

they did it again a couple of times. But it hasn't been a problem for years, right? Yeah. But it was never solved. It was never solved and that annoyed me. Number four on the list of the top six true crime... Oh! Top six true crime podcasts

New Zealand needs. What is it? The true crime. And then losing the R. Because it's the tr and the cr. Yeah. And then I want to put a pr. I mean, it's just the English language,

sweetie, that is your first language. Stupid language. Number four on the list of the top six true crime podcasts New Zealand needs. Did it. Next minute, the true story behind one man's scooter.

Yeah. Because he never found out who stole the scooter, right? Where did it go? the true story behind one man's scooter yeah because he never found out who stole the scooter right where did it go that scooter's still out there somewhere this podcast could find it launched the whole

neck minute thing yeah there's no way that scooter's last this long those scooters back in the day they weren't made

those zip scooters they weren't meant to last someone would have thrashed it number three on the list of the top six true crime podcasts New Zealand needs he's in a roll now.

No, there was a little bit of a podcast. Bucket. Who stole the bucket from the bucket fountain? Yep. Remember when they had one bucket? Because did they replace the bucket or was it found? No, I think they replaced the bucket. So the bucket's out there too, probably sitting with the scooter.

Probably in some student flat. Yeah. One day it'll be in Te Papa. People pee in it. It's in a student flat. Yeah. One day it'll be in Te Papa. People pee in it. Yes. It's in a student flat. Some people are peeing in it. And when it gets too full of pee,

it goes, and just tips the pee on her, whoever peed on her last. It's a drinking game. Yeah, it is a drinking game. Either that or they've been using it as a brassier. Brassier?

Brassier. Brassier. A brassier is one of those things that titties go in. Oh, okay. If you're using that as a brassier, that's way too heavy. And man, you must have a massive boob.

You just want it as well. Or squeeze them both into the middle. Uncomfortable. Don't do that. Number two on the list of the top six true crime podcasts that New Zealand needs. You should have seen his face. I'm scared about it now.

I've got trauma. Please don't laugh at me. Is David Seymour a human or two toddlers in a leather human suit? Podcast. Yeah, I like this. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six true crime. The great Why Heck Yeah sausage scandal of 2020.

Two? Yeah, I think two. The sausages in the letterbox. This was someone that was putting sausages in the letterboxes and they never found out who it was. It's funny. But I think a true crime podcast could find out who it was. We shall make all six of these.

Yep. It's the new thing. Yep. It's only right. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, today is the day. Taylor Swift's new album, The Tortured Poets Department, is out.

She announced it at the Grammys. Yep. Bit of a shock drop there. Everyone's been very excited, but of course no one's more excited than, other than me, our resident Swifties. Oh, really? You're going to fight me on that one? You made it.

You made me into one. So when are we hearing it? Has there been a leak? Okay. So as always, there's a leak. I know the files were floating around yesterday. I didn't listen. I'm not a leak girlie.

What? She's a purist. She's a purist. No, if you're a fan, you listen to the leak. No, no, no. Because you want to hear it. No, she planned for it to come out today for a reason. She has some respect.

Oh, wow. I also just like don't, like it's not, my life doesn't change by hearing it a day before. Do you know what I mean? So what's the point? You want to get excited and listen at four o'clock like everybody else. And otherwise I would have like missed the little things

that she did last night that she dropped overnight, like announcing that the lead single is going to be her song with Post Malone called Fortnite. It would have just been ruined because they would have already heard it. She loves gaming. No, it's the late two weeks of Fortnite. It's the two week period. It's the Fortnite of two weeks, not the game.

You got excited for nothing there, Vaughn. I would like my excitement officially redacted from the record. Are you redacting? Okay. What's the vibe check on this thing? Look, all of the imagery, everything's very dark, black and white, grayscale.

I mean, the name of the album, The Tortured Poets Department, that sounds like... Will it be like a slow album? I don't think it's necessarily going to be slow. Oh, I want some like pop bangers. Yeah. I think that maybe her song with Post is going to be kind of pop bangers because why would you make that the lead singer?

You're on a first name basis with Post Malone. Yeah, me and Post are way better. Yeah, Posty. She's Posty. She calls him Posty. Popo. And what do you think? Did she write a lot of this album before Travis or during Travis?

Yeah, I think a little bit of a mixture, but I think that what we're picking up on is this is going to be very breakup Joe heavy. Right. Yeah, right. She's going to slam him. Yeah, Joe's been a bad boy. What did Joe do wrong?

Oh my God, Carlin's eyes just looked at you like, okay, you piece of shit, where do you want me to start? How long you got? Yeah, I don't think we have time. Wait, wait, what did Joe do wrong? Give me three bullet points of what Jo did wrong. Look, allegedly, some cheating, allegedly didn't really support her,

didn't like her being public with her life, didn't like her being Taylor Swift. Was it over when you lay down on her couch or something like that, right? Yeah. Is that it? Is that him? Did he lay down on whose couch? When he undid his floral blouse or something. I hope right? Is that it? Is that him? Did he lay down on

whose couch? When he undid his floral blouse or something. I hope they put a blanket down on the couch. Oh wait, they were lying on the couch for fornication purposes? Or she was just catching a nap? You must always respect the fabric of a couch. My couch is far more expensive than my bed. Yeah. I don't

fornicate on the couch. What is your couch material? Linen. Yeah, come on. Who are we kidding here? And quite a thick, grainy linen. I don't fornicate on the couch What is your couch material? Linen Yeah, come on, who are we kidding here? Quite a thick, grainy linen Yeah, it's going to get in there It's going to get in the weave It'll never be the same

You can't take the covers off and wash them and put them back on either I know, because the rest of it won't fade equally Well, people are getting very excited We do have a Taylor Swift listening party If you are in Auckland, you can join us at. We do have a Taylor Swift listening party. If you are in Auckland, you can join us at Real Groovy for the Taylor Swift Tortured Poets Department listening party. That'll be today from 4 o'clock at Real Groovy in Auckland, which is on Victoria Street.

It's not the old Real Groovy. No, no. Guys. Guys. What? You finish your bit. It's next to the food town. What's it called?

Woolworths or Countdown. Whatever they're called now. Upstairs. You go up the escalator. My favourite escalator's in Auckland because they're reused and they have the Ansett advertising. Reduce, reuse, recycle.

I think they used to have Georgie Pie ads on the escalator. You know, every step has an ad. Yeah. Cool, bro. Every day. It's retro. And you would stand at the bottom

and you'd look and you'd just be like Add, add, add I was like Answer Remember that airline? So Retro There's a track list

That's been released That's right eh So here's a little teaser There's Fortnite with Post Malone Then there's My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys These are great titles But Daddy I Love Him is a song.

Florida, brackets, Florence and the Machine. No, it's Flow Rider and Florence and the Machine. Oh, I think you're part of it. It's a hell of a collab. Most unexpected. Here's the title I really like. I Can Fix Him, bracket, No Really I Can. Yeah.

Well, if you can't make it to Real Groovy today at four o'clock for the listening party, you can if you're out of town. Go to ZM on Insta and comment to me and to win a turntable and some Taylor Swift merch. And as well at the Real Groovy listening party, there will be some official Eros Tour merch up for grabs as well. Lovely.

Yeah, so head down if you can. Next on the show, let's talk about the power of the unsent letter. I've written a few about you guys. I don't even know how much stamps are now. Well, you don't send them, so you don't have to worry about it. Oh. Play it. CDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

When was the last time you actually put pen to paper and wrote, like, something of length? Oh. I write a letter for my niece every year. I reckon when I write to-do lists It would be the most I ever write I do those on my phone Yeah I guess you do as well I found

Whenever I do write now I've got very curly wheelie handwriting But it's definitely messier Because I don't practice as much Mine's a shambles and I start going really quick And it's like whoa what's happening You're sort of losing control of the pen. Well, the power of writing a letter and not sending it

has been proven as a really cathartic and beneficial way of getting out anger and expressing rage and getting to the crux of what it is you actually want to say. Now, my mum used to always tell me this. Yeah. Because I pop off. I don't know if you know this. I pop off.

I'm like, boom, boom. Knee jerk reaction, right? And I'm ready to like deal with something right then and there. My mum used to always say, write it down. Write it down or write an email to that person or write down a letter to that person, but don't send it just yet. That's what I was going to say.

Is it the same premise as when they're like, if you're angry and you're about to send an email to someone, just put it in the drafts and then the next day, see how you feel about it, look at it again. Totally. I thought this was a really great quote from a

novelist called E.M. Foster. It wasn't from a wascally wabbit? It wasn't from a wabbit, no. He said, how do I know what I think until I see what I say? How do I know what I think until I see what I say? So he writes it down. Yeah. That's good.

And then he sees it and he's like, I'm seeing what my brain is thinking through what I say. Yeah, how do I know what I eat until I taste what I make? We're not just laughing out louder. Yeah, that's deep. We smart. Yeah. You seen that? You seen how I did that quote? How I done that quote? I seen that. Yeah, I seen that. I done that quote so good.

You done that quote great. How do I know what I think until I see what I say? You should get a nice picture of like a mountain and put that with words on it. Can we get that whipped up? Shannon? You seen that? Yes. How do I know what I think until I see what I say? Or maybe a lighthouse and a big wave is crashing over it.

Yeah, that's good stuff. Or a horse running. Yeah. Like a running horse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the horse is looking to the camera with a speech bubble. And then you're confused. How do I know what I think until I see what I say?

Or footprints. Is it the horse that's thinking this? Because that's a wise horse. Yeah. Or footprints on a beach. Yes. How do I know what I think and don't see what I say?

We can tailor the picture in the background to the person. Yeah. It's great. Or two sets of footprints and then all of a sudden one's gone. Oh yeah.

And I said unto Jesus, why did you abandon me in my time of need? And he said, abandon you. I was carrying you. religious means. Yeah, we've gone quite Christian.

What about if it was four horse hooves and then all of a sudden it only became two horse hooves and I said to my horse, stand horse. Are you walking on two legs? And the horse is like, I am, but I am seeing what I'm said say. You've gone a bit wrong.

So there's also a festival in Japan called Hakidashi Sada where you visit shrines. Well said, well pronounced. Yeah. I mean, it could have been wrong, but it sounded right to me. She hit it with the right amount of whiteines. Well said, well pronounced. Yeah. I mean, it could have been wrong, but it sounded right to me. She hit it with the right amount of white confidence. Well pronounced.

How do you know? Where you visit shrines and you smash small discs representing things that make them angry and you let go of the frustration. It's the same thing. Like a rage room. What are these discs? Would they taste good with Kewpie mayo?

No, they're not edible discs. They're like ceramics. Imagine a clay. Oh, right. Okay edible discs. They're like ceramics. Imagine a clay Oh, right. Okay. So apparently Abraham Lincoln used to do this all of the time. We're hitting all of the inspiration. I know. He called it a hot letter.

He would put all of his rage into a letter and then at the end he would say, never sent, never signed. Oh. This is great. Did Mahatma Gandhi do this? No, but Winston Churchill was a fan of the angry letter. He wrote

letters to prime ministers with huge opinions and then was like, no, never sent. Never sent. So psychologists saying why it works, it's it basically channels it all into one big blob and at the centre of the blob is the crux of what you want to say.

Would this work if your flatmate's eating your food out of the fridge? Nah, straight up pass that note on the fridge. You could write 2,000 words about it to whom it may concern and then at the centre of it is like, hey guys, don't eat my food. You know what I mean? And then don't send it. And all the other stuff around it doesn't need to be sent.

It's the power of the unsent letter, guys. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, he's in studio. It's Bad News Brad. Bad News Brad is in. Hey, not only does he have his own jingle. Ready?

You get your own sign. Look at that. That's official. From our show engraver, Brad Olson. Bad news Brad, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You can put that on the desk whenever you're in. Now you guys know who I am. There he is. There he is.

Now, you've come in today with some travel stats, where Kiwis are travelling to, the most popular destinations. But before we get to that, we have to ask, when are mortgages and rents and food and stuff getting cheaper? Well, okay, on food, that one's definitely in a better spot. The likes of fruit and veg costs are down from a year ago. I saw a $7 cucumber yesterday. It's out of season though,

I do understand that. Have you seen kumita recently though? That stuff is, I mean it's not like super cheap but it's way better than last year. It's coming through in a good place. So like that stuff's alright. I'm still able to grab

a few cherry tomatoes out of the supermarket without breaking the bank. So I'm feeling better on that front. Rent, not so good. Depending on where you are in the country. A lot of people looking for a lot of houses and not all that many additional houses

just like that. Click of the fingers. So rent's still up. Mortgages actually starting to edge ever so slightly lower. We don't say that word. We don't say edge here. Oh. PTC. Shifting lower. Shifting lower. Thank you. Fletching lower. Is that a thing? Well, I Shifting lower. Thank you. There you go. Fletching lower.

Is that a thing? Well, I don't know. No, we don't say that. I don't think we say that either. No, we don't say that. But probably the big one is that everyone's waiting for mortgages to actually start to come down a bit more properly. Yes, please.

Yes, please. We're not quite there yet. We've got inflation. I've got nude photos of Adrian Orr, head of the Reserve Bank. Oh, fantastic. And I'm going to leak them. Can I have one to leak as well, please? Yes.

Unless he lowers my specific mortgage rate. Just yours. Oh, wow. I don't know if that's how it works. Is that not how it works? I don't know if that's how it works. I'd love for the police to show up and be like, where are these photos?

What are you up to? Just for the record, Vaughan is joking. He does not have photos of the Reserve Bank governor. I won't let them. It was an intimate moment between myself and the head of the Reserve Bank. Okay, right. I'll do it. Brad wants nothing to do with this.

Back to more important things on economic inflation. Speaking of inflation, these photos. Oh my God, really? And inflation of sorts. Numbers this week, we're down to 4% inflation. That's only double what it should be, whereas previously it was three and a half times. So, like, I'll take the win there. How do we compare to other countries?

Is that good or bad? No, we're still a little bit worse. Still a little bit worse. Are we? But I thought that the national government and this coalition of chaos was going to sort the finances. We've got to give them a bit of time.

Why? This is the funny thing I do have to laugh when government's like, oh, it's this government's recession. They seem to claim all the good economic stats and forget the bad ones. Regardless of where

you sit on the political spectrum, everybody does that. It's always the last guy's fault. We're getting there though, we are getting there it's going to take a bit longer and it's still going to be tough I think. I think this year is going to be the tough one but what's interesting is when you look at some of the confidence surveys from households from businesses, everyone sort of says

right here, right now, difficult, difficult for the rest of the year. 2025, a little difficult, difficult for the rest of the year. 2025, a little bit more light at the end of the tunnel. It's not another train coming down. It's genuine sunlight that seems to be coming through. So hold out. And so if you're fixing a mortgage, just go a year? Well, the people are going short at the moment because they're banking on those cuts coming through.

What we're actually seeing from the Reserve Bank, they're pretty consistent that they're not going to move it quite as quickly. So I'd still be a little bit tentative. Well, now that Vaughan's got the photos... Yeah, well, that's... Hold on, everybody. But photos

or no photos, picture it didn't happen, we're still thinking in about a year's time it'll start to come back a bit lower. Okay, well, that's good. Let's talk travel, because you've got some travel stats. Where Kiwis are travelling? Yes, well, and of course, this comes off the back of my recent travels because I just, you know,

I thought I wanted to tell the nation about all my places. Oh, because you went to Japan. I was loving your stories. It's on my bucket list. Japanese Kit Kats. Orange chocolate and matcha latte. I've had that one. I've had the matcha latte before.

Look, it's in like a paper bag. There's just so many things. I mean, like, these are only two of the few. Like, I've got some strawberry cheesecake. I've got the matcha latte before. Look, it's in like a paper bag. There's just so many things. I mean, like, these are only two of the few. Like, I've got some strawberry cheesecake. I've got lemon ones. Did you get any weird things out of a vending machine? I mean, weird from the... Egg sandwich?

No, I didn't get any egg sandwich out of the vending machine. Soiled underpants? No. A mysterious hand that sprung out? I'm real concerned about when you go travelling, what you're looking for when you go travelling you're looking for when you go around I would love to see

that vending machine I wouldn't buy anything I'm too cheap I'll soil my own underpants you know but I already own them it's great but no

probably the weirdest things someone there was like some fish sauce or some soy sauce in one of them I was like

that's a bit different they put it on everything though so you just go shove it them. I was like, that's a bit different. In a vending machine. They put it on everything though. So you just go, shove it on. Even your underpants. So that's it. Soiled it with soy sauce.

I didn't soil them, I soiled them. Brad's not going to want to come in again. Oh, like I sort of do, but I don't need to come in. I've got a song and a sign.

I don't need to come in for a segment. I just need to like, listen in, you know, to the chaos that comes through. Bring us chocolates. No, the ice cream.

Ice cream was the biggest one for me. You get ice creams out of a vending machine. That was great. I was about to say, how do they keep cold? It's just like a fridge, isn't it? Yeah.

We have developed that technology. Yeah, wowee. So where are we traveling? Where are Kiwis traveling to the most? What are your stats saying? Well, the numbers show that we took over 2 million trips. New Zealanders took 2 million trips in the last 12 months overseas.

So we're pretty keen at getting out and about across the world. Half of it was Fletch. Yeah, and probably the other half was me. I went twice. Yeah, and Brad was the other half. Australia is still the biggest destination for Kiwis. But the next couple, the likes of Fiji, the US, the UK, China, India, the Cooks and Samoa. So quite a weird little selection. Yeah. But probably one of the most interesting things is if you

look at how many people travel to certain countries compared to, say, pre-pandemic, you see there's some weird stuff going on in some areas. Like some of the bigger increases are the number of people going to Chad, for example, over 364 people. Who's going to Chad? Going to Chad in Africa. Why are people going to Chad, for example, over 364 people. Who's going to Chad? Going to Chad in Africa. Why are people going to Chad? The number of people going to parts of Africa, like Somalia and that, up.

So I don't know. I don't know if it's like people are going on more like missions over there or what, but I don't know. If you've been to Africa, please tell me. Trying to make the world a better place after we've kind of been through the doldrums of it. Yeah, or like, you know, here's how to cook

a New Zealand steak and the world needs to know. I don't know. You'll have to go to Chad and teach him how to cook. Yeah. But some weird ones like that.

Africa seems to be popping off for Kiwis. I don't know what it is. That's what we said about Africa. Brad's popping off. That's what they say about it. Africa's out there

popping off. I should work for a tourism agency, shouldn't I? Yeah, sure. I'd kill that job. Hey, we want to take a family holiday, let me tell you guys. Africa's popping off. I should work for a tourism agency, shouldn't I? I mean, I'd kill that job. Hey, we want to take a family holiday. Let me tell you guys.

Africa's popping off. I would love to. I've just finished Love on the Spectrum, season two. You guys should watch this great show. I watched it. They went on an African safari. I know. I've long wanted to do an African safari,

but that show sold me on it. The Lions. Everything about it just looks so good. Where's your bucket list destination? Mine's Vietnam. I've got Japan, Iceland, and probably Africa. So like just half the world. Yeah.

Iceland, I just think it would blow my mind being there because apparently it feels like another planet. Doesn't it just look like New Zealand? No, it's way more like moon-like, isn't it? Oh, okay. Have you been to the moon? Yeah. God, that was a trip to remember

oh my god the hangover I had bad news Brad thank you so much for your bad news again and my good news about travel

and your good news about travel that's right and your Kit Kats were good I've been away for a couple of days did a little bit of light travel and spent some time good. I've been away for a couple of days, did a little bit of light travel and spent some time in some airports and I saw

a moment in an airport that I would like to share with you guys right now. I messaged you, I sent a voice note to you guys to remind, I was tired I was like, I'm definitely going to forget this happened. He sent us a photo but then there was no story where Hany was bated breath. Remind me to tell you the story about the romantic moment at the airport.

This guy completely sabotages. Okay, get off this plane, walking into the airport and waiting there is this immaculately dressed man. Groomed, beautiful, fresh fade. What kind of man? I'd say suave,

definitely not your cup of tea. Too clean. Too clean for you. Sort of like a pompadour hairdo with the fade on the side. Got it. Beautiful man. Suit? Lovely eyes.

Suit? Kind of like the back chiller, just standing there, waiting for everyone to get out of the limo. So confidently wearing a suit that he was wearing a slightly shorter suit pant. No socks. Oh. Or a sockette. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah, that's why I knew he wasn't Sprouse type. But some woman will put up with a man in socks. Me too. I like my man socked up. You know I love sockettes. I love sockettes. You love sockettes.

But I have great ankles. You wear sockettes with gym shoes. Gym shoes. Yeah. This was a low sockette with a leather. Oh, I'd always wear a sock. A dress shoe Yeah This was a Low socket With a leather Oh I'd always wear A sock A dress shoe

With a dress shoe You always wear a sock With a dress shoe We're not This is a dress shoe Sort of a nice Pointed leather number And he's standing there

He's immaculate He's got some Beautiful luggage Yeah What are we talking Sleek Lovely sleek Much

Just the him version Of luggage Yeah beautiful And as Al Plain People are getting off Al Plain I see him stand And he's got a bouquet of flowers in his hand Now the look on this man's face

Is one of pure joy and excitement His eyes are wide He's like darting His eyes are darting through the crowd Like trying to spot Where are they? Him or her at this stage I don't know

He's so well dressed I doubt he's on team heterosexual. That sort of well-dressed. Wow. Yeah, we're going to dap a Dan. This guy's a hot homosexual. And no offense, heterosexual men, but you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, just try. Gays just do it better. The gays just do it better. So he's looking smoking hot. I assume his eyes are darting through the crowd for him or her coming their way. And then the crowd sort of parts, because I'm waiting, I'm ahead of the family.

I like turn around to see them. The crowd parts and striding through this crowd is a Vaughan Smith 10. Like the scene from Love Actually at the airport. Yeah. Except she's not for Vaughan Smith. This, I know the minute I see her, this is her. Okay, this is airport. Yeah. Except she's not for Vaughan Smith. This, I know the minute I see her, this is her.

Okay, this is hers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I turn and I look at him, his eyes light up. Like, finally she's here. Finally she's here. He's got a little bit of a, like his feet have got a little bit of a to them. Like he's a. Twinkle toes.

We're getting charging up, ready to run at her. Are we about to get a proposal? That's what I'm thinking. It's too crowded. It's so crowded. Why is he in a suit? He's beautifully dressed. I assume he's been on a business trip.

They're going to meet at the airport. She's walking through the crowd. And as she gets closer, he like takes two steps towards her, these huge eyes. He thrusts the flowers out. I'm like, oh my God, this is so nice. And then I hear him say, quick, take these. I'm going to piss so badly. I'm about to my god this is so nice and he's like and then I hear him say quick take these I'm gonna piss so badly

I'm about to piss in my pants loudly and I'm like my king your castle is crumbling wait was he like an embracer no he just thrashed the flowers out of him and then he's like watch my bag

and then he went from this graceful, like Grecian chiseled marble statue of grace to this like Gumby. I need to take a piss. And then he like runs to the toilet and she's just left there standing in the flowers and he runs past me. He's like,

busting for a piss because he obviously was like, this guy's watching this. Watching. Yeah, yeah. To see what's happening. And's happening and i'm like oh okay and then his girlfriend fiance woman partner of life looks at me and is just like oh no i'm like i'm an idiot yeah i'll say i'm an idiot and sometimes like yesterday when i knew Sade was hangry, I just kept poking the beer. Why'd you do that? I kept saying, we're going to get this with a weighty snack.

Oh, you. That's the sort of idiot I am. Yeah. That's the sort of moron I get. I get toast out of the toaster with a knife sometimes. Yeah. I'm an idiot. I'm a moron. But you look at me and you're like, look at that rubbishy piece of shit. That's what people say when they see me.

That's why I was like like this might be the smoothest man in the world nope he could have any woman on there he's still just a man and he took this beautiful romantic moment

that not even I could have cocked up and absolutely just sabotage it and set it on fire this is eye opening for me actually because sometimes

you know Aaron is working on the house full time and sometimes he's excited to see me like a little Labrador. And I come home and I'll often bust through the door being like, need a piss! And it's actually, I'm hearing it back, the experience

on the other side. Yeah. I'll watch that, you know, I'll hold on. He just torched it. For a quick kiss. Absolutely torched it. So I would like to know this morning and I'm sure ladies and gentlemen, anybody listening, if you've ever been in a romantic situation, someone's probably ruined it.

I would like to know if your partner ever ruined the romantic moment and how they did it. Like maybe it was a proposal. It was a lovely moment at an airport like this one. Yeah. My friend ruined a proposal. A lovely dinner. Yeah. Yeah.

And we all know, guys and girls, everybody does this, squeezing at a fart. At a... Like, it'll be a nice quiet moment or romantic and then just someone's leg,

just the cheek goes up and just... But do you do, because I think we both do this, which is like going in for a nice kiss and then blowing out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the best. Oh, I love you. Okay, let's take your calls. We want to hear from you now. 0800 dial ZM is the number. That's the best. I love you. Okay, let's take your calls. We want to hear from you now. 0800 dial ZM is the number. Text through 9696. When did you or your partner ruin a perfectly romantic moment? Can I just say, if your phone number ends in 287,

we absolutely cannot read out that story, but be knowing that all six people currently involved in the show, both on air and behind the scenes, laughed a lot and screamed at each other. And we were just like, how the hell did that happen? Great story. We want to know how you ruined the perfect romantic moment. Yeah.

Megan, what happened? I ruined my proposal probably about four times on the same weekend that our husband was planning. How did you do it? We were going away. So on the Friday night, I was running late waiting for a pizza. And so by the time we got going, it was too dark to actually, for him to propose the way he wanted to. On the Saturday, we'd been doing stuff all day,

and he's like, let's go to Punakaki, the pancake roll. Oh, my God, I love Punakaki. Yeah, and I was like, oh, look, I'm really hot and sweaty. I just want to go back to the hotel and have a shower. And he's like, oh, for God's sake. And I think the worst part is we were away with friends, and the whole weekend I was complaining about how he still hadn't asked me yet. Oh.

And he had to ring the whole time. So then on the Sunday when we were all coming back, we were all in separate cars, but he's like, let's go to this little winery on the way back that we, you know, like. And I was like, oh, yeah, okay. So then I messaged the group and invited the group. And so all of a sudden we were all at this winery and he was like, oh, I can't propose here either.

So at the end of the weekend, he was like, look, here's your ring. And did you look back then and be like, all of these times I killed it? Yeah. Yeah, I always love those stories when somebody wants to propose at some romantic cliff top thing. I'm tired. And you're like, I don't want to do the walk.

No, I'm hot. I'm not going up there. No. Why are you pushing this so much? We're talking about when you've killed a romantic moment. I saw it at an airport. A beautiful, suavely dressed man greeting his gorgeous lady. She got off a plane and immediately handed her the flowers and said, quit, takeavely dressed man greeting his gorgeous lady. She got off the plane immediately,

handing her the flowers and said, quit, take these, I need to pass. Charlotte, your husband ruined a romantic getaway trip? Yeah, he's the least romantic man ever. And he'd planned a surprise getaway for my birthday. Even got the

kids babysat. So he even planned we were going for lunch and we go out for lunch and he, first mistake, got a double shot espresso. Yeah.

Right. Then we go to the supermarket to buy wine and cheese and he's like, oh, I'm not feeling well. My stomach hurts. I need to go to the car.

Because of the double coffee. Because of the coffee. Yeah. Exactly. And then I'm in there getting stuff and I just get this message saying, it's too late. Oh, no, Charlotte.

He shut himself. It's too late. Sweet Charlotte. What a romantic getaway. Yeah, I mean, at least you're in the supermarket. Just get some toilet paper, I guess. Some wipes. Paper towels.

Some wipes. Yeah, you're in there, actually. If you're in there, if you could grab us a pair of three-pack of jocks, too, from the emergency underwear aisle. Some baby wipes. Oh, Charlotte. Thank you for your call. Maybe some cold peas, because I've really racked it up back there.

Yeah, it's red raw, honestly. Thanks for your call, Charlotte. Some messages. There are so many messages. I know. Oh, this one. Wedding night, we walked into the honeymoon suite after a gorgeous wedding. Lovely hotel.

Husband sat down, put on Sky Sport. There's a reason he's my ex. Oh, yeah. I just didn't know who was playing. My husband is lakefront in Queensland after a lovely dinner at your favourite restaurant, Blue Canoe. Oh, I love it. Oh, my God.

That is our favourite restaurant. It's one of our favourite. Tied with Margo's. Not for any other purpose than gluttony yeah pure gluttony yeah yeah it was all tracking so well until uh the spot where he decided to drop the knee was directly in front of the public toilets and there was all manner of funky smells and sounds wafting out of there kind of ruined it yeah i planned a nice dinner to propose to my wife and before I proposed to her I told her to stop eating

and put her food down. She didn't take it too well and had a big rant about at me thinking I was calling her fat and telling her she didn't have enough to eat. Yeah.

My husband was trying to propose to me and I kept talking over him about what we were doing that day. Eventually he said would you shut the F up I'm trying to propose to you.

Oh. Romance. Yeah. Again that message we said before which I feel like almost is so good it deserves its own

little bit of pod. In fact is there a couple we could stretch this out for a couple. Yeah. It's a very funny story it's not fit for the old FM broadcast.

Yeah but we'd love to read those out. I love this one because this is a real sign of the times. I ruined my now husband's proposal. It was during COVID. We had the mattress in the lounge with the fire going

and I was too busy scrolling on my phone while he was actually lying there on his side looking at me with the ring box open. He had to repeat my name three times before I even looked at him and realised what was going on. Look up on. I'm glad I got engaged before

Reels because I'll lose shout out to a absolute total whirlpool of Reels. Friday Flashback is next on the show. We're going to go for a Coachella artist because it's Coachella weekend too. And then I believe you and an intercom got flirty. Yeah, we did indeed.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Now, yesterday I did a gig late last night and I parked in a big car park building in town. And then as I left the gig and I went down, it's like recognition, number plate recognition. Oh, my God. You do this every time.

I see you've got to use the other one because that one doesn't have a camera. Yeah, I know. But what was weird was Is there one without a camera? Oh, wait, I'm thinking of a different car park. There's two arm things. And do you remember last time this happened,

you had to press the intercom to be like, let me out of paid. Yes. And I said to you, look, that camera down there points at that one, not this one. I think it's one. My number plate is missing a number.

It's too short. It's got five. No, you're just going with the first one. Three letters and two numbers. Yeah, that's all right. It just means you're in the first 100 of that three-letter combination. Oh, hon, that's just how old your car is. Don't you think you had a personalised plate, hon?

I thought I had a little. I keep trying to work out what it is. She thought she had a personalised plate there, hon. She thought she had a personalised plate horn? I thought I had a little. I keep trying to work out what it is. She thought she had a personalised plate horn. She thought she had a personalised plate. That's embarrassing. It is personalised. Anyway, so I went in there, but the weird thing was I put in my number plate and I've had a bit of an issue with this car park, as you mentioned,

and it came up. I drove in at 7.30 and probably left around 10.30, came up $144. I was like, excuse me. Then I looked at the entrance time and it was seven days ago. And I was like- Was that when we were there seven days ago? That's when we were there. And because I had left via bringing the intercom at the barrier arm,

being like, hey, I've paid, but it hasn't recognised me. They just let the barrier up, not putting into the computer that I've left. Which is, didn't we have a conversation about that as well? Like, I think I said to you, if I worked at a place where there was an intercom and they're like, my ticket's not working, I need to get out.

I'd just be like, whatever. Well, that's what that guy did, but he should have said, and then put in my number plate and then registered that I'd left. So I had to ring the intercom again and say, hi, I've just put in my number plate and it register that I left. So I had to ring the intercom again and say, hi, I've just put in my number plate and it says I've been here for seven days, but I actually just walked, you know, I came in at 7.30 this evening.

And the guy said, oh, God, all right, let me have a look. And I'm just standing at this machine, right? People are coming and going. You can't see him. Can't see him. It's just a big silver machine in the intercom. Is it a real human? Is it AI?

Real human. Okay. Real human. Sounded cheeky. Sounded cute real human? Is it AI? Real human. Okay. Real human. Sounded cheeky. Sounded cute. Okay. Anyway, so he's having a look. He goes, oh, I see what's happening.

And I mentioned, I was like, I use this car park quite a lot. So I think maybe it didn't register when I left last time. And he was like, oh, gosh, you know. Sometimes I want to give those people in those booths a bit of a clip around the bloody ears. Am I right? And I said, you're not wrong, mate. Laughing like this. And he said, and to hold up a woman like yourself, you know, someone who

sounds bloody lovely and attractive. And I was like, oh, I said, oh stop it. And he said, you see someone would have a problem with a lovely compliment like that these days. You can't bloody say anything, can you? Oh, I loved it. He said, oh, my God. Sorry to hold you up.

What an absolute mess this is. Oh, it's so... Holding up a woman who sounds just so lovely and attractive. So he obviously can't see you. Like, there's no camera. Oh, you're a flinch! No, I mean, like, he said... Flinch!

He says she sounds lovely and attractive. And you're like, well, obviously he can't see you. Well, no, because you said... But you've got to watch your words. You said. I'm going to need a compliment about my face. You sound. You know I think you have a beautiful face.

Thank you. But he said, you sound lovely. Yeah, he can't see me. Right, so he can't see you. But the connection was more. Bloody jabber the huts on there. And I started saying things that I've never said before. He said, someone who sounds so lovely and attractive.

And he goes, oh, listen to me, bloody pratling on. I said, oh, God. I said, absolutely stop it, you cheeky thing. He said, I won't be told. I won't be told to stop. All right, but punch in your number plate and try again. And I put it in. I said, there you go.

That's better. And he said, I bet it is. I would never, I wouldn't even dream. I even gave you a little bit of a discount. Oh. Oh, wait. He didn't give it to you for free? No, I had to pay.

I parked there for three hours. See, if he'd been able to see you, he would have given it to you for free? No, I had to pay. I parked there for three hours. See, if he'd been able to see you, he would have given it to you for free. Because I'm so attractive. Am I out of the hole? I reckon. Yeah, you're out. She'll remember it forever though.

In six months, she's going to throw this in your face. When you're winning an argument. Okay, right. Next time you're winning an argument, she's going to say, yeah, well, it's got nothing on that time. You said I was ugly because that guy couldn't see me. That's what we do.

That's what you do. That's what they do. That's what you do. That's what they do. Anyway it felt like a misconnection with this person. It could have been true love. You never know. He just sent me on my way he said you enjoy

the rest of your night. I said you enjoy yours. I should have said we could enjoy it together. Where are you? This is like a dating show. It's like Love is Blind right? Intercom. Yeah it is. Intercom dating show It's like Love is Blind Intercom dating

Intercom is blind Intercom Love is Blind Yeah they obviously can't see you Is the name of the show But it didn't even take six months Literally six seconds And that's locked and loaded now You should use that at your own discretion

Oh it has been weaponised When on the dating show They reveal that barrier arm comes up The barrier arm comes up. Yes. And they decide whether to charge you, give you a discount

or charge you $144 for three hours. The last couple of days there was a quick trans-Tasman trip for the Smiths. And we really played up being a wild inconvenience to everybody we came across.

Really? Classic us. One thing we did, all of us, except August, at one stage or another, forgot something. Like put something down and then just walked away from it. Right. I will admit I was the worst. Yep. Because I took my bag out of the car and put it down and then drove probably 90 kilometres away

and then realised I didn't have my bag. And in that bag, our passports. Oh, do you need those, do you? And the plane leaving in a time, that was a domestic flight, but a plane leaving in the time that I definitely couldn't have got back, grabbed the passports and came back. Oh my. When you sent this in the group chat, I was like, who is running this F show?

It was the inmates that were in charge of the asylum. Your wife is normally pretty good with this kind of stuff. Oh, she's very good, but it was my backpack, so she just assumed I had it. Yeah. Right. So then a couple of panicked phone calls and put someone well

out of their way. They brought the passports all the way to me. I was going to meet them halfway. Right. I was like, sit down. Oh, that's lovely. I'll come to you. So that was really lovely. Sometimes it's good just to take the help, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So the passports arrived. I was like, thank you so much. And then my whole family

was a pile on dad. Yeah. God, dad. Duh.ports arrived. I was like, thank you so much. And then my whole family was a pile on dad. Yeah. God, dad. Duh. Duh, brain. He's getting old. One of them even knocked my head like it was wood. Were they checking what was inside it?

It was rocks. It was rocks. So everyone was laying into me. We got on this small domestic flight, got off the flight, and then got on the bus that was going to take us to the terminal, at which time Sade said, where's my handbag? Oh, gosh. And I'm like, you have to tell the bus driver

not to shut those doors because the minute that bus starts, he's not going to turn around and come back to the bus. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And she did that classic thing that I'm sure lots of people's partners do. Sade does it. Can you go? But she left the bag there.

Can you ask? No, I don't like asking. She doesn't want to look like the fool. Whereas if I go up, I'll be like, see that woman back there? She left her handbag on the plane to everybody on the bus. A sort of announcement. Oh, no. And in the end, she ran up to the front of the bus

and started running back towards the plane. And, you know, when you're her shade of brown, you've got to be careful running at a plane. Yeah. Especially because she was yelling something like, la, la, la. She was speaking, wah, wah, wah, my man. They're like, oh, my God, take her down. Snipers on the roof.

Yeah. You've got to be very careful. I believe something on a plane got out the front door of the plane and then tried to go back in. You're not even allowed to do that. No. Once you get off a plane, you cannot go back on. So she was kind of going up those stairs, the Arrested Development truck.

She was halfway up there. Great, great. You're going to get some hop-ons. And they were coming down and they said someone's left their purse behind. So thankfully, compared to my putting somebody out, very minor. Yeah. So then on the flight, when we were leaving Australia, Indy, our daughter, decided to spend some of her money

on some Solja De Niro, as every child of this age simply must have. They have to have her. They want all the fragrances. Yeah. She completed the set yesterday with this purchase at Duty Free. Good for her.

Of her. Yeah. I will admit, very nice smell. Okay. Oh, it's really good. So she spent, I think it was her birthday money or something. I used to spend my pocket money and birthday money on lollies.

Same. And little sort of ornaments of like dragons and wizards from the warehouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really get in there. And your mum would say, do you really need more of that crap? Yeah, yeah. You're like, mum, you don't know what it's like. I don't have this wizard.

Shut up. She wants to smell nice. So she put that down when we sat down before the flight. And then they said the gate had changed and it was quite a way away. Oh, yeah. And I said to the lady, do we need to leave yet? And she's like, no, it's not. The gate's open, but it's not boarding.

And then she came over and said, it's begun because we're sitting in the silent part of the airport. Yeah. So I was like, are we ready to go? And she was like, yeah, now. And I was like, okay, cool. So we all started walking and we were probably a couple of hundred metres we had a massive walk

and August said to Indy where is your Soledadero? And Indy's like I think it's in my bag so we checked in the bag not there. I was like you guys keep going

I'll go back for it. Yeah. It's not cheap either it's not the kind of thing where you're like oh no it's gone. It was like 35 bucks and duty free.

So then we walked back and there's already more people at the table I was like excuse me when you sat down was there a black bag here yeah And duty free So then we walk back And there's already More people at the table I was like Excuse me When you sat down Was there a black bag here And they were like

No And then One of their kids Was like There's something Under the table So I was like Ah cool thanks

I turned around And started walking And as I was walking Sade's frantically Trying to call me You know sometimes You're just like I just

I'm alright Yeah Hang up Walk walk Call Oh Vaughn You can't hang up I walk call oh Vaughn you can't hang up I found it

and she's like she messages me why aren't you answering did you find it and I'm like and I just reply with a thumbs up and then she tries to call again

I'm like what did she call she's had the thumbs up what does she want from me turns out the plane is like waiting oh no and I'm just

da da da da threw an earful I cannot spray on the bum no i cannot deal with you that is all of this is bad form so we're just walked onto the plane smelling very nice it was another one of those bus situations where we were bussed to the plane and i walk in and this lady walks beside me she's like well what flood are you on i I'm like, NZ110. And she's like, quick, follow me. And took me on this like airport shortcut.

Oh, you were really holding it up. Yeah, and I got on the bus and everybody applauded. And then I noticed that my kids are like upset. And I was like, what's the matter? And they were like, we thought you were going to get left behind. And then he was like, it was all because I left my bag behind. I'm like, look, this is a week, a couple of days where everybody's forgotten something. And then August was like, not me.

Rub it in. And then I said, where's my drink bottle? You'll notice my sippy cup's not here. Gone. Oh, mate. You are all an absolute mess. I could not deal with that. You needed a chaperone.

It was so quick. I like my holidays slow moving. This was such a quick one. I don't know. Your brain didn't have space for things like sippy cups. I'm going to go get another Stanley dupe today because I'm not paying full price for a Stanley. That's madness.

But I tell you what, I was really hydrated. You were. Your skin has been glowing. So hydrated thanks to my cup. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. All right. This week has been Things Turning 50 week. Yes.

In 2024, meaning 1974. Hell of a year as it turns out for 1974. I've just got a few. I'm just going to hit you with a list of things today. Honorary mentions. Some honorary mentions of things. Turning 50 this year, the

Kinder Surprise. What? Kinder Surprise is 1974 was the launch year for Kinder Surprise. They're still banned in America,

right? Because you're not allowed to put toys. You're not allowed to put inedible objects hidden inside

edible objects is why they're illegal. But unless it's razor blades and apples. They love that. Absolutely fine.

Or just guns in schools. They love that. I'm the Or just guns at... In schools. In schools, yeah, they love that. I'm the kids. Yeah. Happy 50th birthday, the Volkswagen Golf. Oh! As unreliable now as it was then. White girls and gays love a V-Dub, a Polo or a Golf, don't they?

Oh yeah, and it's got a nice orange check engine like as we speak. Yeah. Good stuff. The German car, you'd check the engine a whole lot quicker as if the orange light came on and it was like, Attention! Achtung! Achtung!

Achtung! It goes red if it's real bad, so it's orange right now. Okay. She's got a great point there. I don't know if it does go red. It does. It's gone red before. Oh, okay.

She's got a great point. Orange, calm down. Yeah, yeah. Chill out. Speaking of orange, Mitre 10 turns 50 this year. Cheeky of them. They messaged me on Instagram

saying if you're looking for another thing, it's actually our 50th birthday this year, Mitre 10. I love Mitre 10. I love Mitre 10 too. I will say they've been a little bit light on the free stuff my way lately. Oh, yeah.

What, you want a free peanut slant, do you? Oh, yeah. You didn't say no. peanut slam, do you? Oh, yeah. Insane eyes. Always when you're in the traddy department. 50 years old this year. Victoria Beckham. Leonardo DiCaprio. And Eva Mendes.

God, Hollywood Aims. Eva Mendes. Wow. Money keeps you young. The Ryan Gosling's wife, Eva Mendes. I mean, I should say Ryan. How old is Ryan Gosling? I don't want to. 40 something? 42 Mendes. I mean, I should say Ryan Gosling. How old is Ryan Gosling? I don't want to...

40 something? 42, 43. I think he's 43. I looked it up the other day. He is... Can we say that? 43 years old. Guys, guys.

Ryan Gosling's on the show next week. I didn't want to tell everybody, but I don't want to tell everybody. Guys, Ryan Gosling and Emily Sharp are on the show next week. Emily Sharp. Emily Blunt. You've got the wrong... No, Gosling and Emily Sharp are on the show next week. Emily Sharp. Emily Blunt. You've got the wrong... No, are you sure? It's Emily Blunt.

Blunt. Sorry, Emily Blunt. She's not Emily Sharp. Emily... You've got the wrong knife type. She's Blunt. She's a bread and butter knife. Yeah.

Emily Serrated is on the show. Emily Serrated Blunt Sharp. Oh, those knives in the 90s that were always on infomercials and they were cut for... Ginsu. Ginsu. Yeah. She's not a Ginsu Oh my god

How many leather shoes did we have to kill to show how sharp those Ginsu knives were I thought the tomato was an adequate example Nope Couldn't cut through

a bloody loafer Other things that turned 50 Dolly Parton's song Jolene 50 years old And the whole album that came off Great album

Hello Kitty is 50 years old Cute Skittles are 50 years old Yum I love Skittles And I've saved the best for last Dungeons and Dragons is 50 years old. Cute. Skittles are 50 years old. Yum. I love Skittles. And I've saved the best for last. Dungeons and Dragons is 50 years old this year.

Dungeons and Dragons. What was it like in the 70s? It was way more math space, apparently. But I remember, what was that podcast about how it was? Satanic Panic in the 80s. Yeah, it really got panic. And parents were like, ban it, ban it. But it was just like nerds in their bedroom. Yeah.

It had wizards and stuff, eh? Yeah. Yeah, the parents would come down to the basement and the children would quickly like hide things. They're like, are you down here playing with yourselves? And that you'd get in less trouble. So you'd say, yes, we were down here playing with ourselves in a group of four.

Endlessly. Exclusively four very smelly, nerdy dudes. Yeah. Yeah. You'd get in less trouble than playing with the Satan's Game Dungeons and Dragons. So, yeah, a whole lot of things. Turning 50 this year. Must have been a hell of a year back in 1974.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. The impossible finding topic, a poll of Americans who got married between 2021 and 2024 has found that 20% got cold feet before their wedding. So that's abandoning the wedding or just experiencing like, am I doing the right thing? Yeah.

Okay. And yeah, they nearly called the whole thing off or just left, but they went through with it. I've always thought this. When I get married, even if I had that feeling and I was like, I'm going to not do it, I'd go through with the day. Everyone's here. Yeah.

But then it's, if someone proposes to you and you're like, yes, and they're like, I don't know if this is a good idea. Yeah, but cold feet means you got all the way up to planning the wedding. Yeah. But for like legal, you know, when they sit down after the ceremony and they sign the wedding certificate. Don't sign it. Just be like, oh, we'll sign this later. Just do this and do the photos and he's over your shoulder and you'll be like, I'm not signing it until later.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll sign this later. Just smile for the photo. I'm not signing it. Sign it. You do talk to people that are like, yeah, I don't know if I should have done that wedding. I shouldn't have gone through with that.

I knew deep down. Yeah. You do't have gone through with that. I knew deep down. Yeah. You do. You hear people say that. Yeah. We've actually already, just based on talking about this alone, had messages in being like, yeah, man, I had cold feet walking down the aisle. Took four more years until they split.

Well, you may not want to talk, but if you do, 0800-DARLS-IT-IN. We'd love to hear from you. We can give you an anonymous. We can give you an anonymous name. Text in 9696. Did you experience cold feet at your wedding? And did you go through with it? And then are you still together or are you

not together? Maybe you ripped the cord. Maybe you pulled the plug. Is there anybody listening now that did pull the plug before the wedding? It was literally like sitting behind there in the dress or in the suit being like, no. Or weeks before and then you had to cancel. You got no money back because you paid all the deposits. Oh my God, I'd get the catering sent to my house and I'd sit there and I'd just eat it all.

Right now we're asking if you got cold feet at your wedding. Because apparently one in five people have experienced it. Maybe not pulled the plug on the whole wedding, but like had that moment of like, oh my God, I don't want to do this or I'm doing the wrong thing. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

You had cold feet on your wedding day. I did. I had travelled to England to get married. Yeah. So I didn't feel like I could not go through with it because his parents had arrived a couple of days before, like his parents, grandparents, three brothers. Everyone's there.

So describe the moment where it like dropped in your stomach. We were in the town where I used to live and he disappeared. And this was back in 2005. So cell phones weren't working super well in England. And I could not find him. My mum had come to pick us up and he was nowhere to be found in this town. And eventually he appeared and was just like, oh, I was just looking around. So he didn't have cold feet?

No, he just didn't think it was a big deal to just wander off and explore the town. Right. Okay. And did that give you cold feet because you thought he'd left? No, things weren't great anyway. And it was just his idea that it was totally fine to disappear in a country and town he didn't know. And I was all apologetic that'd spent hours looking for him. So did you say anything in the moment that you were like,

oh my God, what am I doing? We had a big fight and my mom told me that we needed to sort it out and she dropped us off like down the road from home and told us to talk it through. And I wish I hadn't. Did you go through with the wedding? Yes, we were married for 11 years. Oh, wow.

Wow. Okay. Wow. And then, obviously, when you say married for 11 years, you're no longer together. No, that broke up seven years ago. And I just got married last year

to a man I had absolutely no qualms about at all. Didn't have a screaming match with him on the day on? Nope, nope. No. Wow, what a feeling. Wow. Okay, mate, anonymous. Thank you for sharing. Very juicy. Yeah. So we'll get to more of your texts next. 0800

Dials at Emma's number. The impossible phone a topic. Did you get cold feet on your wedding day? Yeah, some wild stories. The impossible phonotopic. It's so far from impossible. I said it was anonymous. Anonymous.

It's anonymous. Why would you ever get married? Lots of people say, I want to be anonymous, but nobody said this is impossible. Yeah, I mean, wow. A study out of America found a fifth of people, 20%, had cold feet on their wedding day. I said to my dad walking down the aisle,

Dad, I don't want to do this. And he just looked at me. Like, in the look said, Not now. Not now, you silly idiot. You silly girl. For 22 years. Finally got out of it one and a half years ago and I know I should have pulled out the day of the wedding.

Please be one of us. I don't know what my dad would do if I was walking down the aisle with my dad. What would you do? If one of the girls was like, Dad, I don't want to do it. I'd be like, sweet, let's go. Yeah, you would actually.

100%. You'd just turn around. I don't even like this guy anyway. Yeah, yeah. I hated him from day one. He's not good enough for you. Are you kidding me? Come with Dad for the rest of our lives.

Yeah, and I'd just be like, pull the finger at him. I'm not paying for any of this. That's what I'd say. Well, you've already paid for it. My ex, she also got cold feet a few months before our wedding, left our apartment one day while I was at work and moved out. Got his mum to break up with me. This was 2014 this happened.

He's still single now. I got married to another beautiful man five years ago. Here you go. See, it'll work down for you. My brother was driving me in the wedding car up the driveway of the venue and said, are you sure you want to do this? Why would you? Don't say that.

Don't say that to someone. I replied with, well, it's a bit effing late now. 14 months later, it was all over. $40,000 on that day. Thanks to the big party, Dad. Now I'm three years into a new relationship with a man who is an absolute dream. Would do it all over again to get where I am today. Things happen for a reason.

You live and you learn. It's always the second marriage. How much did Toyo Focato cost you? $40,000. For how many years? Three. This is a one-day $40,000 lesson. Degree.

So what they did is they took your entire degree and squeezed it into one day. Or just buy the letters and squeezed it into one day. Or just buy the letters and put them on your shelf. Live, life, love. Love, live, love. Beautiful words. Beautiful words. Look at that.

Lust, lick and labia. It's got to be an L. What did you do? Labia. I don't know. Live, love and labia. Lust, lick, labia

is not an appropriate LL. Yeah, he's got it on this wall in the kitchen. You've got to stand in the Airbnb and you walk in and it says lust, lick, labia. You know that Airbnb's being used for some things. Oh my God, do you want a juicy? Yeah. Anonymous, anonymous, anonymous.

I got cold feet. Never wanted to get married. Went ahead with it. Still don't want to be in the relationship. Two kids later, seven years together, still regretting it. Oh, my. You've got to go. You've got to go.

Now these kids involved. Majority of people have divorced parents. Don't worry about it. Sad. I mean, none of us do. No. Left him at the altar. What? Left him at the altar.

He then went on our honeymoon trip with my maid of honour. He ended up marrying her a few years later. And then cheated on her with me a wee bit after their wedding. Oh no. When you ditch, you ditch for good. Oh, no. You should have.

When you ditch, you ditch for good. You don't go back for seconds. It's like a hot potato. You don't go back for another time. Lick love, last, last, love, la, labia. The saying wrote itself. You shouldn't have done that. Great work, guys.

10 out of 10 if I say so myself. I do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere.