ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th August 2024

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

Top 6: Monorail   Silly Little Poll!   The Devil of Dublin!   What did you accidentally consume?   Roadie Recap   Vaughan's Dinner   Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  .See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things of Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Hayley's back. Yeah, reunited.

Still not 100%. Do you know, it's been a strange little journey because all I wanted to do was get well enough to sing on Saturday night. And I did. And my voice survived the show. And then I sat in the rain drinking Prosecco for the rest of the evening. And Sunday was all stuffed again.

Oh, I wonder what happened. I don't know what happened. What a weird turn of events. It's crazy. Unpredictable. But anyway, we're getting there. One more day, I reckon, and this will all be cleared. You're on the dirt.

You just popped a couple of dirt pills. They're not working as much as I wanted them to this time around. This time around. Nah, we're good. We're good. Good. Okay. Big show today.

How bad was the show without me? Did it suffer deeply? It was actually great. It was great. Wasn't it? The purists loved it. Really? Yeah, right.

The OGs. No taint. Wow. Wow. You got allergies too. You're rubbing your eyes there. Are those... No taint. Wow. Wow. You got allergies too. You're rubbing your eyes there. Are those... No, no, no.

Just... Yeah, my eyes are just watering a little bit. Yeah. Is it spring here? Your chance... This is the sort of shit they... Your chance to go in the draw to see Sabrina Carpenter live in LA. It's hot in here, eh?

This week. How are you guys both in sweatshirts? It's hot in here. I'm in a t-shirt. We'll get the air con down for you, Smithy. Now, what were you saying about Sabrina Carpenter? Crank that, Soulja Boy. Now, is that a current reference I've just made?

No, no, it's not. Flip, are you happy I'm back? Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, crank that, Soulja Boy. Ooh, crack that, Soulja Boy. Ooh, crack that, Soulja Boy. I hate everything you're doing. You don't like that?

I hate everything you're doing. Right. Once again with Sabrina Carpenter, who, by the way, single? Single, ready to mingle? Oh, apparently now, yeah. Apparently they're broken up. Apparently, yeah. Well, listen up for that mother trucker.

We'll give you a chance before seven this morning. Top six. Do you know what you're doing? Nah. He's vibing. I really want to do something about the SeaWorld monorail, but I don't know what because they're tearing it down. Oh.

As a child who the one time we went overseas was to the Gold Coast. Yeah. I rode that monorail three times around that. Do you support dolphins and animals? In the 90s, I did. Yeah. You didn't know any better. A free willy had just come out. I rode that monorail three times around that. Do you support dolphins and animals in captivity? In the 90s, I did. You didn't know any better? A free willy had just come out.

Well, I'd love to see one of those. Kind of missing the entire point of the movie. Oh, God, yeah. We all went to Napier and patted one on the neck. Pat, pat, pat. Am I allowed to stick my finger in here? What's this hole? No, I wasn't against it in the 90s.

And I rode that monorail three times around Sea World. I don't know. There's something there. I don't know what it is. If you're listening and maybe you want to do my job for me. What about the top six towns that could do with the old Sea Rail monorail? The Sea World monorail. Sea World monorail.

Because you know New Zealand's also never had a monorail. Oh, that's a crime. But then I would just pick three small New Zealand towns. Six, that's easy. That's good stuff. Okay, do that then. And then I'd lean on you two to heavily banter about the small towns. Yeah, love that.

And the top six don't. So is this how the top six is constructed? Lazy. You're lazy. When you're behind the scenes, you go, that's easy, I'll do that. And then I'll rely on you two to pad it out with bands. Yeah. Especially on Mondays.

I know. Okay. Especially on Mondays. Lazy. And then again on Fridays. Lazy. And I'll on Fridays. Lazy. I'll admit, Tuesday and Thursday

is pretty much the same situation. I don't want to leave Wednesday out. Okay. Yeah. So minimal effort across the board.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Police have been called to an all-you-can-eat. Well, to a restaurant in America, Applebee's, you'll be familiar with that.

It's a chain. They're not, the whole thing is an all-you-can-eat. Well, to a restaurant in America, Applebee's, you'll be familiar with that. It's a chain. They're not, the whole thing is an all-you-can-eat, but they do do deals from time to time. And I believe this was an all-you-can-eat deal for like wings, $15.99 for like wings and a few other things. It was all-you-can-eat. Police received a 911 call.

Officers were called to a verbal disturbance when they arrived. Multiple females were screaming at the restaurant. Oh, my God. And threatening people. We do scream. They love a scream. We love to scream. And so apparently this all started because the woman at the table said,

well, I've paid $15.99 for the all you can eat. And she assumed, and they were saying, that means everybody at the table can eat. So she could just. Her wings. Right. No, you dum-dum. You've got to eat them. That's not how it works.

It's per person. It's per person. Everybody knows that, right? That is such an obvious loophole. Do you know what I mean? You can't take a whole family there and be sneaking them your wings. Endless boneless wings, riblets and double crunch.

Boneless wings. No, you've got to have wings. That's a nugget. It's a tender. It's much more of a tender. It's a tender or a nugget. No, you've got to have the bone and that's what makes it juicy. So wait, did they arrest her?

Yeah, yeah. So a woman was arrested because it just kicked off. God, people get moody about their wings. I'm always so disappointed at how little I can actually eat being such a slight thing like myself. Confirm.

You left it too long for him. Shit, man. You didn't say anything either. Why was it on me? I turned to him Why was it on me? You turned away I turned to Vaughan

I might not have said anything but he turned away Right I turned to Vaughan He literally was Here we are and still no confirmation I can barely

being such a slight thing like myself Absolutely There you go That's all it needed Vaughan Vaughan still hasn't said anything Why haven't you said anything?

I'm gone for like two days. It's so crazy. What do you want me to say? You tell me and I'll say it. What do you want me to say? I'm being provocative. This is what it's like. I'm menstruating.

Oh, you are. That's great. It's finally happened after 300 and how many days? 23 days. Yeah, congratulations. Oh my God. I'm going to say this now, if I may. Absolutely.

I had a peek into what it's going to be like with three menstruating women in my house. Oh, no. What happened? I tried to solve an argument between my wife and my daughter who were at a stoush. They weren't, and I was like, I'm going to try to solve this. And they both ended up shitty at me.

Yeah, dude. you will be the enemy it was wild and then the next morning they're like best friends but there's still a little resentment towards dad for getting involved I was just trying to solve it I was like oh look this is a problem I'll deal with this I can see that we've got some I'll sort this out

oh my god it was like yeah two lions were fighting and I was like I'll sort out the lions and, my God. It was like, yeah, two lions were fighting, and I was like, I'll sort out the lions. And then they both turned on me. You were a little zebra. Yeah. About to get eaten. I got fully zebraed.

Yeah. Shit. Oh, mate, it's going to be rough for a few years. Got to get that outside room finished. Yeah. Or the tree hut. Yeah, I could go to the tree hut, actually. Anywhere outside of the house.

Yeah, it would have been safer, even though it was like torrential downpour and horrendous storm winds. The tree hut definitely would have been a safer place. But I'm happy here now. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Good morning. If you're in an MRI machine right now, you wouldn't be a bit early.

Yeah, they don't open until, unless you're in a hospital one, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe you're listening to this in the future. On a podcast. Yeah, okay. Because usually when you go into an MRI machine, they put on the radio station, like a live radio station. Maybe they ask you what you want to listen to.

Because I've had only one in my life. Yeah, right. Well, I've had two. I've had three recently, trying to get to the bottom of this knee issue. And the first time they said, should we chuck on the boys? And it was you guys. Because I wasn't at work and I said

yes, do that. And was that your most relaxing MRI ever? It was a bit quiet. Right, okay. The chats were a bit quiet. Because the machine's like... It makes all this awful noise. So that's what they do. They put earplugs in and then these, and it's crap headphones

because you can't have metal. So they're rubbish. But then, yeah, you can hear a bit of chatting and stuff. It was good. It was fine. It was all right. It was fine. Did you hear that review?

It was fine. Yeah, it was fine. That's about, yeah. Lines up with how much effort goes into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine. Yeah. Fine amount of effort.

Just fine, I guess. Just fine. Just fine. It'll do for the- Put that on the billboards, I reckon. Yes. It'll do. It's all right.

Yeah. It's okay. It's all right. Good enough for a one hour MRI. Yeah. That's the new tagline. Anyway, so I got one last week and I got asked, oh, what I wanted to listen to. And I learned from last time.

So I said Metallica because one, I like them. It needs to be loud. But two, it's loud so it's loud enough to drown it out. And then she was like, how's the music? I was like, crank it up. And so I was listening to Metallica and then I fell asleep. She was like, I don't think I've ever heard someone seen someone fall asleep to heavy metal before. I was like, that's me.

But, so there's this chick, right? This chicky babe. She was asked, she went into an MRI machine and was asked like, what do you want to listen to? And she said Chapel Road. Okay. Who we love. We absolutely love here on ZM,

the station that's just fine for a one hour MRI. Yeah. And the person misheard her and put on an artist called Chaperone, which you can see. And it looks like she said said, the album artwork, she looked them up afterwards and was like, who the hell was that?

It looks like a ghost kind of scary stories to tell in the dark cover vibe. And it was this like ominous, spooky, kind of atmospheric horror music that she had to listen to for half an hour. I've got some here. Okay. This is Blue Sky Above the Gang, Violent Motion.

Oh, this is like in an MRI with the whirring. It sounds like an MRI. It sounds like what an MRI might sound like. I'll get to the hook. Like, that does sound like an MRI. Imagine lying there and you're not allowed to move. Yeah. You can't say anything.

Some kind of sci-fi music, like from a movie. Very interstellar. And they're turning your body into a robot. Yeah, she called it... To be honest, Sky Blue above the gang Violet Motion has got nothing on the follow-up single Mo Rose Vandal, The Whiteout Memorial. I'll try to play for you now.

Oh, please. Please do. This for you now. Oh, please. Please do. This would be horrible. Oh my God, this is, yeah. Excuse me. Excuse me. I think you've played the wrong music. This would be awful.

Yes. How dare you say that about 2021's Emotion Hospice album? Chaperone. But you can hear it. What do you want to hear? Chaperone.

Chaperone. What am I saying? There's a return of mince mince. Chaperone. Chaperone. Chaperone. But you can hear it. What do you want to hear? Chaperone. Chaperone. What am I saying? There's a return of mince mince. Chaperone. Chaperone. Chaperone. A cast of grey on the arm lights the stovetop pilot. Oh, this now this is a good song. The cast of the light of the stovetop pilot. And at eight and a half minutes

long. I almost guaranteed to be hearing it on commercial radio. This must be a New Zealand first, I reckon, playing chaperone. So many people, this was a Reddit thread and lots of people were jumping on being like, oh my god, I had this. They didn't let me or sometimes they didn't let me choose and I had to listen to

Highway to Hell by ACDC on repeat for 45 minutes. So many people were talking about their horror stories of getting it wrong and then like an MRI technician was like oh my god this is my worst nightmare I'm always listening being like you want

who? what is it? what is it? what is it? like double check god this is horrifying it's a long time to spend in the machine

you've got to be still and you can't you want some good music yeah you need good music I just listen I just turned into ZM Fletchford and Hayley thank you

it's fine for an MRI thank you Hayley we'll get the billboards changed out play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Thank you. It's fine for an MRI. Thank you, Hayley. We'll get the billboards changed out. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six.

Oh, it's good to be back together. Someone told me I had two songs and then only gave me one song. And that song's only two minutes, 46 seconds. What was somebody doing? To be honest, I did get a little sidetracked. What were you looking up? I found a list of New Zealand urban areas by population. It was part of the top six.

Research for the top six. For the top six. And then so it says the population and then how much it grew between 2018 and 2023. So then I arranged by biggest growth to loss and i was amazed that in my area cumu hupai when the population went up 100 percent oh wow doubled yeah yeah and just down the road you guys did too well this is not not double but over the period of what time? Between 2018 to 2023. Nobody cares. You say you do. They want to know how many people...

You've gone down a personal rabbit hole and you haven't prepared the top six. It's annoying that we can't just spend three hours in the morning just the three of us

catching up. Do you know what I mean? It's annoying that these people listening also need context and interesting things to listen to. I've got two more to go.

Two more out of six? Number three and number two. Which means, I just got two more to go. Two more out of six? Number three and number two. Wait, which means I just heard you type, which means you only had three. Well, I actually only had two when we started. I heard him typing. We'll put New Plymouth in there.

My hometown. We just returned. It was beautiful. Yeah, actually, there's a couple of good gags there. I could do it. Oh, no. Oh, God. Now he's going to roast you.

Absolutely not. Have you got the hut? Oh, the hut would be great for a monorail. But don't they already have rail? Yeah, we've got trains. They've got two rails. Yeah, but the monorail could go from the train stations all around. Yeah, beautiful.

That would be brilliant. Nah, the hut doesn't get one. Wanaka? Oh, no, you wouldn't put a monorail there. Nah, got one, got one. Yeah, but when we move there, we might want a monorail. The news is that SeaWorld on the Goldie are retiring the monorail. They're closing it after four decades.

So it opened in 1986 as Australia's first monorail. And then the Sydney monorail, both of these monorails I loved. I don't know. I think it's only because of the Simpsons episode. Yeah, it is. Yeah, the Simpsons. I love monorails. So it made 330,000 trips around the park, equivalent to going around Australia 44 times.

Wow. Australia's big. In 2019, it got shut down. Sorry, it got paused. And then, of course, COVID hit, and it just never started working again. And they said there's this new area. And they're building a massive wooden roller coaster

and they've got to get rid of the monorail. I love wooden roller coasters. No, no, no. I'm going to go. I'm going to go but just not tell anyone that I'm not going to look

at the dolphins because I don't want the dolphins I'll avert your eyes. I'll avert my eyes but I love wooden roller coasters. If you're there you say hello

and get a picture and touch them. You have a little quick swim with them and then you're done. Yeah, cancelled. Do you know wooden roller coasters. If you're there, you say hello. And get a picture and touch them. You have a little quick swim with them and then you're done. Yeah, cancelled. Do you know what I mean? Like when you're in Thailand. If there's an elephant, I'm going to jump in the back. Do you know what I mean?

If there was just a tiger lying there, definitely not sedated, just tired and sleepy. Yeah. Oh, you're going to pet it? It's not lazy. It's like house cats. Often they'll sleep in the sun. They'll find a sunny spot. It's just cats.

Okay, well, I've got it now. The top six New Zealand small towns that could use the SeaWorld monorail to zhuzh them up a little bit. Number six on the list, Westport, on the west coast of the South Island. Their population dropped 3.2% between 2018 and 2023. Sounds like someone needs a monorail.

Yeah, this will get the people back. I had one of the best burgers of my life in Westport. You know a dinner plate? Imagine a dinner plate. Yeah. That big. No, they don't make buns that big, Hayley. They probably made their own buns.

I'll find you a photo. What? How much was this burger? Like, $100? No, no, no, no. This was 2012 or something. Okay, so what happened is when you had that burger in 2012 and you were 15, it seemed real big because you had tiny hands.

But now you're an adult and you have giant hands. The burger would be a normal size. It was amazing. I'm going to find a photo and you're going to be like

holy guacamole. You carry on with your little top six. Don't belittle his top six. I chucked that in there and I didn't mean it. Belittled it. No, I did not mean it. Carry on with your little top six. Oh, he's upset there and I didn't mean it. Belittled it. No, I did not mean it.

Carry on with your little hubby. Oh, he's upset. Have you got hay fever as well? It's spring. Number five on the list of the top six small towns that need a Seaworld monorail to zhoosh them up. Dunedin. Oh, yeah, okay.

Because they built New Zealand's only covered stadium, which you think is just, but people still make fun of them, aren't they? Always poking fun at Dunedin. Why? I think a monorail could solve this problem. Right. Get from the stadium to the city. Yeah. Yeah.

And go via like Castle Street, pick up the students so they can get into town. Yeah. Yeah, great. So I grew up playing, we had a plastic train set. It was a cheap plastic piece of shit and it only came with so many pieces. But I tell you what, the fun I had rebuilding that set into a whole bunch of different.

So if you think it's a one big circle there at SeaWorld, we've got some corners we can play with there. You reckon we could go corner, corner, corner, corner? Yeah. You could put, it could be long and skinny. Yeah, great. Because you could just make it so that turn at the end is almost the same, so it's long and skinny. Good, stretch it out. Do a loop-de-loop if you want.

Number four on the list of the top six small New Zealand towns. This one's actually a suburb that needs the SeaWorld Monorail to zhoosh it up. One Tree Hill in Auckland. Okay. Because it doesn't even have that tree on top anymore. Yeah, it's sort of a nothing. It's just a hill. And one tree, one rail, monorail.

Okay, one monorail hill. I said right. One tree, one rail, mono rail. Okay, one mono rail hill. I said that the burger was as big as a plate. But it's not as big as the plate it's on. But look how big it was. That's Westport. No, see, that's tall. That's impossible to eat. I'd almost be a little bit angry.

It was real big. Huge. That's ginormous. That's the biggest burger you've ever seen. It looks like they've just made a dinner and put it in between two buns. It does. It was 2014, I beg your pardon, at the Melbourne Hotel. I've been to the Melbourne Hotel. In Westport.

Look at the size of that. That was the size of my head. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Shout out. That was ten years ago, so see if it's still on the menu. If I could just get on with my little top six. Wow, you really did hurt him. He's going to hold on to that for years

Yep Number three on the list Of the top six small New Zealand towns That need the new SeaWorld, Monterey, Zhezhimak New Plymouth Yeah It's stuck in the 80s

It might as well have the 1980s Oh boy, it's not We were there at the weekend Rail transport It's got some lovely restaurants Oh my god Oh my goodness Do they do things a little bit differently?

Marriage, social protection Yeah, they do things a little differently They do things very differently They do things a little bit differently? Yeah, they do things a little differently. They do things very differently. They do things a little bit differently. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six New Zealand towns that need to see. Still go. Monorail to Zhojima.

Yeah, it's not so little, is it? Palmerston North, which is just basically New Plymouth, but not by the sea. A lot of people confuse it. It's the P and the N. Yeah, the P and the N. Yeah, the P and the N. And it can go around because it's got the square. I think the monorail could end at the square. Okay. And then the P and the N. Yeah, the P and the N. Yeah, the P and the N. And it can go around because it's got the square. I think the monorail could end at the square.

Okay. And then go out to the university. Right. That, you're welcome, Palmerston North. Yeah. Maybe set aside some money and buy the monorail. Number one on the list of the top six small New Zealand towns that need the SeaWorld monorail.

Morrinsville, my hometown. Matamata has Hobbiton. Cambridge has rich white people and their horses and their drugs. Moransville needs a monorail that you can sit on and go around town and see all the fibreglass cows. I don't know. And monorail, or you could just call it the morrow rail.

Morrow rail, morrow rail, morrow rail. We need the salesperson from the Simpsons to go to Moransville to convince them we're all bypassing that town, aren't we? No, no, and it's got this lovely moo, moo no rail and it goes past all the cows. I'm doing all the hard work here, Morrinsville.

You just have to pay for it. That's today's Top 6. I've never been involved in hiring anyone. I've never been... I've never held a position high enough to hire anyone. Reviewed a CV, looked at them. Have you? Yep. Have you?

Yep. When have you been the boss of anything? Every day, all the time. You haven't hired anyone? No, you haven't. No, you haven't. Yep. Everybody.

Really? I have final say. Do you? No, you haven't. No, you haven't. Yep. Everybody. Really? I have final say. Do you? No, you don't. It's in my contract. You literally have no say whatsoever. Okay. There is a...

Shut up. There is a woman... Oh, man, I'm really regretting that hire. Smart mouth on this bitch. Fire! Imagine if you had a say. Yeah. Anyway, she's a bakery owner In London

That's my London accent It's not Welsh No it's not This is a classic London accent I don't know if it is She took to TikTok to be like Oh my god there is nothing more humbling

In her words nothing more humbling, in her words, nothing more humpling, humpling. Humbling. Humbling. That's a humble hump. Yeah, it is. The humpling. I keep all my humps humble.

There is nothing more humbling than receiving a ton of Gen Z CV applications. Because she's like, the things they are putting on them are cooked. She said, for example, not a capital letter in sight. And you know, I hate that.

I hate that so much. When Have You Been Paying Attention was still in existence, we had a 10Z take over the social media and oh my god, me, Fletch and Ursh just got into the chat. It's me. It's Vaughan. Me, Vaughan and Ursh. We're fired again. Which one?

No respect for management around here. You've confused us. Fletch's name comes first before Vaughan's anyway. Me, Vaughan and Ursh popped off in the chat being like, what's happened to the capital letters? Couldn't understand it. And it was a Gen Z thing. She said, no capital letters on a CV.

Like, not even your name. That's disappointing. Okay, yeah. No capital I for I, like meaning me. Nothing. Ooh. Okay, yeah. No capital I for I, like meaning me, nothing. On another girl's CV, she said, I'm having a brat girl summer. And you're like, that's so irrelevant to your CV. So bad.

Like this is a formal thing, the CV. One girl on her CV said, I hate working because I'm just a girl. Like G-O-R-L. Like, what is happening? So, and then a lot of people were chiming in in the messages being like, my God. And then someone was like, dude, I got called bro in an interview, like in a proper sit down face-to-face interview.

I got called bro by my daughters and people are just like what? But if you've got kids now that's just a bruh. That's just how they say. Yo bro that's how I get they get home from school I'm like how was school? Yo bro. Someone said I interviewed someone and I asked

about the gap in their CV and I said oh what were you up to between these years? She said just chilling. I sort of love. I sort of love the attitude. I got one that said, I've never had a job but I think I'd be good because I'd done a week in Ibiza and I didn't even

sleep. It's so funny. Let's go to our resident Gen Z's. We had these though. Generations have always had these though. Like, generations have always had these people. Yeah.

No, totally, but not in a CV. CVs were always quite formal. And you'd only put your relevant, like someone said, someone put on their, a Gen Z put on their CV that they were

the secondary school prom queen. Like, that's just like not, not, not relevant. You know, relevant CV skills.

Gen Zers, would you put any of this information on your CVs? Defend thyselves. I know you'd use capitals. I'd use a capital. I definitely think I've taken more of a relaxed approach to CVs. Like mine for this job, I made it blue. And then I showed my mum and she's like, what are you doing? I said, it's ZM blue, back when you guys were blue

and she's like, I don't know about that. I like the creativity. Yeah, and like using photos and stuff and I remember I used graphics and my mum's like, okay, well, let's use a margin, like let's keep it formal. Use a margin? What, were you going right to the edges? Yeah, because I had fun little graphics.

No, no, no, no. Oh no, we always have a margin. We always have a margin. We must have a margin. Well, I'm here, aren't I? We must have a margin. Well, I'm here. You are here. She did get the job despite the lack of... Vaughan approved it. Yeah, Vaughan approved it. I don't know if he did. No, I doubt it. Carwin, did you have a formal CV? Yeah, I'm

quite, like, traditional. I hate this. I hate this so much. Also, aren't we, like, not putting photos on? I know hot people put photos on. Yeah, mingers. Mingers like us are like, well, we're not going to advance. Speak for yourself. I'll always chuck a headshot on.

Why are you bringing us into the minger pool? I'm not swimming in the sun. I thought that you were self-described minger. I wish actually I could put together a CV. I'm getting better with age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a CV. It was in like 2002. I don't have a CV.

What would you put on yours? This. Just a photo. Just a photo. The first radio job I applied for, I put a certificate I got for Carve Club. And I was at primary school. And they're like, what relevance do you think this has?

I said highest achievement. I think there's a while that like, I've got an acting CV, right? And then there's definitely a while where you start removing things like the Sheila Wynne Shakespeare Festival at Queen Margaret College. You know, you've got to start going like,

no one cares about. Really? Because you seem to bring that up all the time. Well, my performance of Richard III in which his withered leg was actually just a sore knee. Yeah. Because I didn't want to commit to the bit too much.

Maybe. I did win the Peter Veer Jones Award for Outstanding Performance for that. What I'm saying is if you're not putting it in CV, maybe we don't need to mention it once a week. No, it was actually a performance that a lot of people remember. My friend Andrew Patterson's mum actually always says, I remember you're Richard III from 2007. She actually brings it up as an iconic performance of the times

that I played the titular character, Richard. We just don't need the performance to speak for itself. Yeah, we just don't need to hear about it every week. Do you want to see the performance? I mean, no. No. Silly Little Poe, Silly Little Poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that Silly Little Poe, Silly Little Poe. Silly Little Poe, Silly Little Poe. Silly Little Poe. Should you get a discount if you remove items from an order, i.e. no tomato, please, on my burger?

Tomato discount. I want a little tomato discount. Yeah. So this happened with us the other day. Mike when we were in New Plymouth, he wanted a pickle discount. Because he's like, I don't want the, I don't eat pickles. Who doesn't eat pickles for a start? He got a brioche

that had like a hash brown, some bacon and egg in it. Delish. And pickles. That would have just been. Perfect. It would have kicked it off. And then he said no. So we asked for the pickles on the side. And then we ate them to our meal. There was no pickle discount so we said, well we'll eat his pickles

in a side bowl. Yeah. And they brought them out. Yeah. Fantastic pickles. Well it's inconvenient. I think you don't get the discount because of the inconvenience of the change to the standard dish. But then something like if it's tomato or avocado when it's like not in season and it's expensive. Avo, yeah.'s not in season and it's expensive,

then could you maybe barter for, instead of avocado or tomato, maybe you get an extra egg? I used to do this when I was a teenager and I'd go to the mall and I'd ask for a butter chicken, but no chicken, just the sauce. Okay, I've done that and you know what? I love it. It's so good. I don't even need the butter chicken.

I don't even need the chicken. How much is the sauce? Who cares? It's the best bit. Some places would give you a chicken discount, and some places would be like, no, it's a standard size. Oh, it's just the sauce, though? Yeah.

The chicken's the protein. Oh, no. That's the expensive bit. Yeah. Okay, well, 42% of people think you should get some form of discount, and 58%, I'm imagining people who have worked on the other end of this, said, no, there should be no discount for this. What a split.

What a split. Yeah. Dan, if you're making adjustments, you're the arsehole. Am I an arsehole? Sometimes I am an arsehole. But you can make the arsehole. They'll still make it without what you wanted it, but we're just asking for the little bit of something.

A little bit off. You're paying for that worker, remember, not to put something in the order, so that requires more thought, no discount. That's what I reckon too, Vicky. Yeah, okay. Ben says, no, but swaps of equal value should be allowed. So you're for a swap. Or swap out mushrooms

for avocado or something. Okay, say, for example, you order a burger. Here's another situation. I order, there's a burger. I'm like situation. I order it. There's a burger. I'm like, take out the meat patties. Take out the onion, the tomato, the mayo. And you just leave with... No, take out the cheese.

You just leave with two buns. And some sauce. No, there's no sauce. We've got rid of the sauce. Should you get a discount for that then? What, are you buying a dry bun? Yeah, maybe I should just buy a dry bun. I reckon just go to the supermarket at this point.

Two remaining, just get a bun. Just buy a dry bun. Get those brioche buns that come in that blue bag. They're good. You know exactly what I'm doing. Good buns. They're pretty. Pretty. Pretty good buns.

Pretty good. Yes, if I don't want it on my order, I shouldn't pay for it. F Pickles from Mason. Why is Mason in it? Well, Mason and Mike would love each other. Maybe they would. Well, Mike's married, so. That doesn't mean they can't have a bond over pickles.

Oh, that's true. Love comes in many forms. Imagine marrying someone and then finding out they didn't like pickles. Divorce. It's called divorce. It's great though. You get all their pickles. True.

This is true. Yeah. Extra pickles for you. It'd just be annoying being with someone who didn't like pickles. Yeah. Do you want to be married

to a little, a picky little pickle, anti-pickle bitch? Yeah, no. If it's listed as an option to add on an extra cost, e.g. bacon $4, avocado $3, then I think it's fair to an option to add on an extra cost, e.g. bacon $4, avocado $3,

then I think it's fair to discuss a discount to remove it. Discuss. That was from Jessie. I think Jessie would be the handful of the restaurant. Sort of person you're like, oh, Jessie and Mike want to know if you want to go out for dinner with them. Nope. Immediately like, nope.

Don't want to. Yeah. Not going to be enjoyable. Geordie, the business is not responsible for your personal preference. There's no way they should be providing a discount because you're too much

of a little bitch to eat pickles. Yeah. Little pickle bitch. I don't want all the green stuff in my food. It should be cheaper without it. Green stuff.

Salad. What are you, a five-year-old? Eat your damn greens. You get scurvy. Anya says, just don't be so picky. So she's actually just told you then. Yeah. Eat the pickles. Just being told. You get scurvy. Anya says, just don't be so picky. So she's actually just told you then?

Yeah. Eat the pickles. Just been told. Yeah. Eat the pickles. You've just been told. Eat your damn pickles. That's a little pulp.

Play ZM. I love seeing all the videos of the snow in Canterbury last night. I know. Our friend Alice sent us a video. It was amazing. Currently zero in Christchurch. Wild. Wild of you to piggyback on Alice there.

What? Our friend Alice. Yeah. Oh, you know, kind of our friend. Yeah, but I've become friends with her. Then you would say you would see the pecking order the hierarchy of Alice friends and you would say your friend Alice. No, no, no. I would consider her

a friend now. I know, but if you weren't with us you could say my friend Alice, but when you but if you weren't with us, you could say my friend Alice, but when you were with us and indicating to us, you would say your friend Alice. I'm not allowed to say that she's my friend when I'm in your company? You're allowed to, but there's definitely a hierarchy. There's definitely, yeah. Oh, 100%.

She's less my friend than she is your friend. Your friend Alice sent a video to the chat. But she sent it to our friend group chat. Our friend group, yes, but primarily. I mean, there is a pecking order here. Okay. Okay. Your friend Alice, send it to our friend group.

But now it feels like I'm saying that she's not my friend and she is. Say it again. Without the snark. Without the attitude. Drop the attitude. Drop the attitude, little missy. Three, two, one. So good to see all the photos of the videos of the snow. Yeah, that's right. Well, your personal friend, Alice

sent a video to I seem to remember asking for that off the menu without the snark. Oh, sorry. I really tried my best. Three, two, one. So good to see all the snow. Yeah, well, your close personal friend and definitely not mine,

Alice, sent it to the group chat a video. And I was like, why would I care? She's not my mate. No snark. And so I blocked her. That's so interesting. But yeah,

zero in Christchurch at the moment. It's 11 in Auckland. No one lives in Christchurch. A barmy 15 degrees in Gizzy. Oh yeah, your friend Alice,

yeah. Your friend first before my friend. My friend last. I did it. My friend last. Her dad Des was my rugby coach at primary school. If we're going back to the origins of the species.

Will me and Alice kiss on the lips? You've got me there. And you're not man enough to do it. We're just minutes away from... You're not man enough to kiss a woman on the mouth? Minutes away from the devil of Dublin. Yeah, I know. So everyone just be chill.

Chat to him next. Yes. But there is a new reality show in the works. They're calling it X Factor meets Love is Blind. Now, Love is Blind is a dating show where they're behind screens and they talk and they never get to see each other until they decide that their bond is strong enough

in which they meet each other and they have to get married. Are we just out of ideas that we need to now mash former reality shows together? Yes, Fletch. That is what is happening here. It's called Building the Band, though.

Listen to this. The judges are Liam Payne from Une Direction, Nicole Scherzinger from The Pussycat Dolls. What was the title of that band again? The Pussycat Dolls. The Pussycat Dolls. And Kelly Rowland from Des Tiny's Child. Okay.

Those are the judges. Do we need three hosts? Good judging. No, no, no. Judging. Judging and then hosting AJ from the Backstreet Boys. What? What a group.

Which one was AJ? The one like not many people care about. Google him. Not Matt Carter. Not Brian. Brian was the short one With the heart problems Not Kevin

Interesting that you know AJ is a I remember he Goatee I remember that Yeah You should have said The bearded one

Yeah Honey Okay And so How is this show working It's called Building the Band Yeah And the way that it's a little bit

Like Love is Blind Is so they have all these singers there And they have to build their own band by using like connection and charisma without seeing their other band members. So that's kind of like blind dating. Then they go, oh, I like you. Let's form a band together. So there'll be a few bands made.

And then they finally get to see each other and then build the band. Right. So they sing. They'll be paired up primarily on musical. Well, they're not getting paired up. They themselves are artists. Yeah, choose to opt in. Choose and be like, oh, I kind of like this guy's vibe

and the sound of his voice and we can kind of get on that way. Then they meet face to face and then the band kind of goes on. So I think that by the sounds of it, they're making like a number of bands and then there'll be two parts to it. One is like them kind of feeling each other out and building the band and then we'll see the band kind of get together after that. I mean, it's a little convoluted, but I don't know. I like bands.

But then do we need it more like Love Island or something? Like, do they need to be in a villa with no shirts on? Yeah, all that Hunger Games. Do you know what I mean? Like, kill each other off. Right, right. You know, and the band. And the bands hunt each other.

Bow and arrow. Yeah. So this is a Netflix show. I mean, it's got big names on it, doesn't it? Well, it's Netflix. There'll be some money behind it as well. Yeah, 100%. Building the band.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So I have talked about the Quinn app before, which is an audio erotic app of which I am a subscriber and fan. And I talked about my favourite creator on the app, the Devil of Dublin. And there he is. He's been on Quinn for just seven months and in that time has nearly had a million streams,

which makes him the fastest growing anonymous creator on the app. I have a spiel. He's in the top 10 of the most subscribed creators on the app. As his human self, he's the voice behind human self, one of Wall Street Journal's best selling audio apps,

Leather and Lark by Bryn Weaver, which I listen to. He's won sexiest male narrator on the planet and he's won multiple voiceover awards. He's also starred in Game of Thrones, The Witcher and a bunch of stuff that we can't talk about just yet and now he's here on Zedium which surely must be a career highlight. Welcome to the show, The Devil of Dublin. Of course, this is what it's all been, you know, working up to. Yeah, Zedium in New Zealand. Now, so you're the devil of Dublin on Quinn,

but recently you have revealed your identity to those that celebrate. Are we allowed to address you by your human name? Yeah, of course. I mean, I did it through audio, so I think you guys are actually the first people to show my face and then tell everyone so this is the secret that i mentioned i you know i keep promises yeah so the carpet matches the kids i didn't show my face at all eric nolan is his name no you said before that you guys look similar but i didn't say

that he said eric said that you think that you look like vaughn we're two handsome gentlemen there's one handsome gentleman here. Oh, don't leave him out of that. Just dudes with beards. We're in a gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's an unspoken brotherhood here. Eric, where are you at the moment? Currently, I don't want to tell you in case you stalk me. I'm not joking.

I do give off that energy. I am in, yes you do. Hands above the table, please. No, I'm in Belfast currently. Wait, so you're the devil of Belfast? Are you a liar? No, I just work here on a secret thing that I can't talk about. The bad boy of Belfast.

I could have cleaned up. Oh, yeah. You know it. So the devil of Dublin, the bad boy of Belfast. I'll just take over Ireland completely. Yes, you're all part of it. Oh, my God, say Ireland again. Anyway, sorry.

It's so strange hearing his voice in my workplace. I'm usually not at work when I hear you. Where else are you hearing it? Just private places. Yeah, right, okay. Yeah, just private. Far out, it's so hot in the studio. So you're an actor, I am was and um how did you

make your way from acting into making horny audios for women like me around the world I was approached through Instagram by BB Easton I had made like a it's called ACX it's Audible's kind of database for voice actors and you put up like a few voice samples and then she had found it and she contacted me and then I started the first audiobook that I did which is Devil of Dublin. So the big secret of my identity, super easy to find, you just google Devil of Dublin, you click who the male narrator is and there I am. Yeah. Paper thin, you know. It was so paper thin. But people didn't know. Well I know. People didn't know it was so paper thin but people didn't know well I know that those dumb idiots still don't know no I literally googled um big I think I

googled like big Irish narrators or something like that and your profile came up and I was like I'm assumed this is the website dude um I can't say the website on on air so then you did so you got into like audio books and then how did you get yeah so i did after doing devil of dublin and then i was approached by somebody else another author and then i did another book and then at some point there was one book where i said like the filthiest thing i've ever said in my life say it no don't, yeah, after that, it's too late now. I might as well go kind of all in because it's already out there. I haven't even told people. I've never told people what the line was.

And like I've said some things on the Quinn stuff that I do. I've said, you know, some pretty spicy stuff. You know, I'm sure Hayley could, you know, just, you know, like Shakespeare. So after that, I was like, okay, I'll see. And then a friend of mine was like, hey, you should try this app. So I reached out to them. And I did an audition. And for I guess, Hayley and all the other Quinn listeners, the audio that I released on St. Patrick's Day, called St. Patrick's Day, is the original audition that I did. Obviously, I changed it. I added more, you know, story. I think the original audition was like 10 minutes and this is like half an hour.

So after that, once I joined Quinn and it became successful, I just kept doing it. And now I've done another audio book. I've done two since that time but all of my time is focused on Quinn because it's a weekly release and I can't let you know, one radio host It's just you calling it a weekly release, it's quite funny to me, it sure is my friend, more like a daily

you're more of a daily release I imagine Is that line that you said in the audio book still the filthiest thing you've said? Or has that been surpassed? No, I've said some bad things

I mean good things for a certain audience I always say when I share Quinn with people and in particular yourself, I say it's an act of feminism actually, to direct women to Quinn, because women's pornography is terrible in general. I don't

know. Good boy. Now, I mean, one thing, I'm not saying that you're not good at your job, because you are, but you also, like, deeply in your favour is just having an Irish accent, which, you know, you sort of didn't give yourself. You were given by your parents, I imagine.

Because arguably the Irish accent is the hottest accent in the world. It makes me unable to make a sentence like now. As we've all just witnessed. As we've all just seen and I'm sweating. Do you have an accent in the world that you find the hottest? Yours. No. I mean, that's just magic.

It can't be New Zealand. We've got the worst. No, like really, you've got the worst in your opinion. Like I probably don't have Irish listeners. So what would be,

what's your number one hottest accent? I don't have. New Zealand. No. No. Okay, after New Zealand. Oh, Aotearoa.

He's got a good R. Teach me and I'll teach you. Teach you to roll your R's. This is about to get Inappropriate here This sounds like The start of an episode

Where you're learning a language Yeah it does actually With your tutor Oh my god Let's ride a quinn now Oh my god With my three tutors Yeah

No screw these guys They leave And then you come to New Zealand Oh my god This is great I'm just on request Your next quinn is You coming to New Zealand

It's riding itself You come to New Zealand and you're like, oh, no, I can't do the accent. You're like, oh, doodly-doo. Oh my God. No, I can't do it. And you're like, teach me your accents. Thanks for that.

I know, I'm sorry. I literally did Philly D. The doodly-doo was so great. So far out. I mean, I just, I found our countries grow closer. Like there's a free trade agreement after you went doodly-doo. Jesus.

Okay, so what are you working on next? Because you work with Bebe Easton, who you did your first audiobook with, and she co-writes the quins with you, right? The basic thing we came up with is like a smut puppet, so she just controls everything. And obviously now I've learned enough stuff that I can write my own thing. But it's always good to have like a person to go, hey, as much as you think this is good, they won't. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, totally. So I'm kind of lucky in that to know, you know what I mean? So men written by women, performed by men. Who doesn't want that as a woman in that kind of, you know, genre? Yeah. Because we can ask, you know, Fletch and Vaughn to try and write something now and I'll read it and it'll be just noises.

Vaughn and Fletch have been told that they sound a lot like each other and that their voices are quite high pitched. Do you think that they would ever be able to become Quinn creators? No. Yeah, of course. He's being too polite and nice.

There is someone out there. They could go in together. They could be like the twins from The Matrix. Sexy Matrix twins. Last thing, Eric, so you're working with Bebe again, right, on her next book? Yes, it is called The Devil Himself, and it is a sequel to The Devil of Dublin. And obviously I voice Kellen and the main characters, and 97% of the males that appear in this

audio book coming out. It's out the 29th of August but you can pre-sale from Thursday. I love this. Or Friday for you guys. It's dark. It's dark. Well, tickety-boo. But I think that's what everybody wants. Yes, they do. Well, thank you so much, Eric, for talking to us.

Keep an eye out for Eric and all these secret projects that we can't talk about that we're going to see your face in. And obviously look out for The Devil Himself, Baby Eastern and audiobooks. And I will listen to you later and see you sometime. God, she's so smooth. She's so smooth. I deedly deed the guy, okay?

We've got to go. Yeah, we were all here. We heard it. Eric, thank you so much for chatting to us. It's no problem. There's been some research done into complaining about your friends. I would never. Bitching about your friends behind your back.

You would never? I would never. Well, good for you though, isn't it? You know, this is what they've worked out, that if you have a vent about your friends, it makes you more well-liked. To the people receiving? Yes.

I mean, I love goss. Is it because it's a sign of trust? Yes. You're kind of trusting them? It is, yeah. With your goss? Yeah, with your goss is it because it's a sign of trust yes you're kind of trusting them it is with your goss yeah with your goss oh and it makes you more well liked in your social circle but then also you run the risk of just being like a bitch right like yeah you don't want to be that person all the

time it's always you do it to everybody backstabbing yeah i like gossip but i don't i don't tend to like gossip about my friends i like gossip about people we commonly know. Yes, I'm the same. Do you know what I mean? But that we're not personally friends with. Because I wouldn't say we gossip a lot about our own friends. No. God, we gossip about everyone else.

So it makes you more liked. Oh, no. You're unconsciously attempting to make yourself look better by comparison and strengthening your bond to the person listening. No. Okay, should we try it? Okay, Fletch. Yep.

Vaughn is such a loser. Vaughn is such a little I know, I feel awkward. Vaughn is such a diddle. No, no. Vaughn sucks. I little I know I feel awkward Vaughn is such a diddle Vaughn sucks I don't like it at all It is uncomfortable that Vaughn's here You were just saying things

You weren't telling them a Oh gossip Telling them something they've done right A little bit of a story Fletch if I tell you something about Vaughn do you promise not to tell Oh see instantly I'm just like, instantly I'm like, what is it? But you have to say not to tell. This stops here.

But, but you don't tell anyone. And I love this one where you go like, look, I love him, but, you know, we like, we love him, but I have to tell you something about Vaughan. But no judgment because like, you know he's my dear friend. But see, doing that, they've worked out that, yeah, it's gonna strengthen our bond. Aww. Isn't it just, yeah. It's awful. But see, doing that, they've worked out that, yeah, it's going to strengthen our bond. Oh, that's awful.

But that's just humans, right? I've actually just come up with a little saying. Okay. Hang on, I'm workshopping it. Okay. It's like, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Say it all.

Heaps. Say it heaps to lots of people. No. If you don't have anything nice to say, say it louder. Keep trying to say more negative things.

Yeah, yeah. Keep trying because if you don't have anything nice to say, you must have something juicy to say. Oh, okay. I like that.

Are we putting that on a horse? If you don't have anything nice to say. FVH Inspirational Horses calendar out this December. Yes. If you don't have

anything nice to say, it must be juicy. Must mean you've got something juicy instead December. Yes. If you don't have anything nice to say. Must be juicy. Must mean you've got something juicy instead. Yeah, must mean you've got something juicy. Blah, blah, blah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, originally I said I don't know how this chick did this, but seeing it, it's kind of changed my perspective.

Okay. So she's lying in bed, probably having a rot or whatever they call it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. We're having a rot. Big rot day. We're having a big rot day.

Hang on. Didn't you have a rot weekend? I had a fairly lazy weekend. Yeah. Okay. Did you sit on my couch? Gorgeous. Nah.

Well, mate, when I went round to your house, it was in and out. In fact, I've got something I want to talk about later in the show about this. Okay. Vaughn looked after Rolly over the weekend. Generous act I partook in. Okay. It fact, I've got something I want to talk about later in the show about this. Okay. Vaughn looked after Raleigh over the weekend. Generous act I partook in. It was actually

very generous. Okay. It was. Wow. Okay. Do you have something to say about my house? So wait,

is that the only time you left the house over the weekend? No, no, no. I did leave the house a few times. No, no, no. But I did a lot of rotten.

Only for food. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I would have thought you would have indulged in a nice little time at my house. Nah.

Why are you asking for the Wi-Fi password? Anyway. So this girl, she's having a rot in bed. Yeah. And she said, oh my God, I just drank so much my cellar water. Now my cellar water is like a makeup remover. It's light. It's not as bad as like an alcohol.

I don't know. I always thought it was just water. No, no, it's got stuff in it. It's a makeup remover. It's what? Makeup remover. Makeup remover. It's a makeup remover.

It removes the makeup. What is in it? It consists of purified water. That's good. Humitants, such as glycerin and mild surfactants. I told you that. I literally said to you it's got huberstax and myoprotactants. Does it have edetate disodium?

It's got edetate, detoxins and all the huberstax. It's actually my favourite soda stream flavour. Dytactin. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, me too. Yum, yum. So it's not like bad, bad. No, so micellar water is,

people use it as a far more gentle makeup remover option than your usual like, you know, really heavy chemical stuff. Better for your skin. Better for sensitive skin, but it's still makeup remover. And I was like, how did she drink so much micellar water? But when she's in bed doing a rot, she's got micellar water on the right because she was about to remove her makeup

while she was watching a show. Yeah. And then she had a little plastic bottle of water, you know, like a pump bottle or whatever. Yeah, right. And she was like sipping from that and then accidentally just like, while she's watching her screen,

flip the lid on the micellar and was like, and drunk all this micellar water. And she was like, oh my gosh, I'm dead. I'm dying inside. Did she spit it out or was she just like? No, she drank it. Because it's very mild that you'd just be like

god that's off something's off about it yeah so she's accidentally consumed this and this is what I want to know is have you ever accidentally consumed something

that was definitely not supposed to be eaten because you mixed up bottles or glasses yeah now I've done I didn't quite consume it but when I was on bake off

they always had a micellar water spritz like this. You'd spritz on your face and then you'd get a wipe and you'd wipe it off. And one day I was just chatting away to the makeup girls and I grabbed what I thought was the micellar water spritz and I went like this and it was 100% pure alcohol that they use to clean their brushes. And it was like, oh my God, what's that?

Is that what happened to your face? Is that what happened to your face? Is that what happened to your face? This is just my natural face. What do you mean? What's wrong with it? What's happened to it? It just looks a bit melty. What do you mean?

Is that the moment? Was that when it started happening? I think that's just aging. I think that's just severe aging. Okay. You better watch it today, Horne. I'm going to set your car on fire in the garage, and then who will be laughing?

I'll drive away. Not you, because this place of employment might have a real problem with a chimney on fire in the basement. Okay, well, we want to take your calls. 0800 DARS at M. You can text through 9696. Maybe you accidentally grabbed something out of the pantry that you thought was a snack, and it was washing powder. What Maybe you accidentally grabbed something out of the pantry that you thought was a snack and it was washing powder.

What did you accidentally consume? We want to know what you accidentally consumed. Oh, my God, this is full noise. I know. People are texting in the most awful stuff, including someone else who said, I also drank my cellar water. However, I was pretty drunk.

So what, didn't notice? I guess you just picked it up and said, oh, man, I'm thirsty. Anonymous, what did you accidentally consume? So I work in dentistry. Yeah. And I had a patient and she was elderly and I put her denture on my tray and decided I should actually put it in some water for her to clean it. So I did her treatment, and I took her denture out of the cup and gave it back to her, and I was writing my notes on the computer,

and I was thirsty, and I had a plastic cup. I had a plastic cup that had my water in it, and then I had her dental cup next to it. And I drank. Yeah, you did. I felt bits in my mouth, and I realised that I'd accidentally drunk the dental water. I felt bits in my mouth.

I felt bits of her lunch. That's yuck. Yeah. So now I always have a drink bottle in the surgery. I never, ever put water in a plastic cup. I like that. My mum's done that because my dad's got a dental implant and he puts it in a cup at night and she's accidentally had a sip of it.

But that's her husband. Do you know what I mean? This is an old lady that you don't really know. Anonymous, thank you. Mel, what did you accidentally drink? Well, I didn't drink it. It was over 20 years ago now, just cruising around with some mates. We decided we'd cruise up Mount Eden, have a look at the view.

My mate was like, oh, I've got some chupa chups here that one of the other mates had given her at his work. We were sucking away on this chupa chup, and all of a sudden my tongue and my mouth started to kind of burn. It was just like burning weird. And I wiped my tongue with my hand and found about a hundred ants. And what happened was they

climbed up the stick, the hollow stick of the chupa chup, obviously been residing in the middle of the chupa chup. Like they made a sweet home. And the layers came away at the top. I sort of made an

opening for them and they all eat it up in my mouth. Okay, yeah, wow. I mean, proats, brah. You know, get a bit of extra proats with your chapa chapa.

Bit of protein, yeah. Yuck. They're a bit burny, that acid or something that they leave their tracheal with. Oh, the little pheromone tracheal.

My goodness. And 20 years later, still traumatised. Yeah, yeah. I bet. Thanks, you're cool. Sharon, what did you accidentally drink? Not the worst thing is someone's popped up in their mouth

at the time of Mount Aiden. Good, Ellen! What did I reckon? Sharon, what did you accidentally drink? Oh, mine's got nothing compared to those two stories, but it was more kind of eight. But I went on a weekend away, this was a long, long time ago,

with a cousin of mine, and we packed all our food, because we were poor. And she had put cooking oil in a... A little squeezy. Oh God, which way around was it? The dish washing liquid.

Yeah, dish washing liquid in a cooking oil bottle. Oh. And I was shit at cooking, so I just grabbed the bottle and I put it in the pan for the cooked fish. And she was away at the time, and I served it up to her, and we were just about sick. We were gagging the whole time. We tried to eat it, but it was disgusting.

Did it foam up when you cooked? It might have. I don't know. It was really shit at cooking. There you go. Love that. Sharon, thank you. Let's go to Chris. Chris, what did you accidentally drink? I lived in the UK

like many people for a year or two and once out we were in Leeds, so the dirty north. And we were full steam ahead. It was probably one in the morning. And there's a bunch of us, a bunch of guys, a bunch of girls. And we're steamed. We had a lovely night beforehand.

So we were right in the middle of a big night. Anyway, we're close to the front of the bar waiting for drinks. And as you get it, it's pretty busy. So we're all kind of standing around next to a leaner, and me and my mate, we notice on the leaner there's a full glass, and so we kind of like nudge each other, and we're like, oh, sweet, we don't have to wait in line. Hell yeah, man.

No one's claiming this, this is ours. It was like nice. It was like, I looked at it cocktail-y. It was pink with a nice bit of silver on top. So I took a massive swig, handed it to him. He took a swig, and I swallowed mine. He took a swig and I swallowed mine, looked at his and it looked at him

and he was spitting his back and as I swallowed it to the bottom of my gut, I realised it was a full cup of vomit. I can't. Full cup of vomit. And it was pink!

I can't. Yeah, it was bile. It was bile. Thanks for calling out Chris. I've got a strong stomach. So was it pink? People were tasting it and they were almost vomiting at a strong stomach. So was it me? People were texting and then they were almost vomiting at the earlier stories.

That was too much. My stomach's preparing to skew. Chris, keep your stories to yourself. Oh my God. Oh no, don't set off on a one-hand love. I always feel like we should just read out the text messages that were sent in after that last story. No, I can't.

We need to abandon what he said. Thank you, Chris. We just need to abandon that imagery. What are now the things you've accidentally drank? Consumed, eaten, drank. We've had the classic teen party situation where you're like half a beer. This is the same brand I was drinking.

Down it goes. Ciggy's. Ciggy's. I've done it. We mentioned a couple of weeks ago the three guys in separate incidents that had to have

the bottle caps removed yeah from their stomach yeah because they drank them and people crushed those and put them down there yeah

producer Jared said he's been painting many years and drank from the water that the paint's been oh the water dip yeah right you brush

give it a jiggle yeah yeah I've done that but I wasn't painting miniatures I was painting large landscapes yeah okay we do have to address at the paint spin. Or the water dip. You know, you dip your brush, give it a jiggle. Yeah. Yeah, I've done that. But I wasn't painting miniatures, I was painting large landscapes. Okay, we do have to address this one text. I'm pregnant.

I've already been sick once today. I did decide to change stations just for a little bit during the denture story because I was gagging. I came back just in time for the vomit cup. Chris got it.

Chris got it, yes. How bad are the other radio stations that she churns out because she's vomiting and then she's like, oh, I'd rather go back to the bin. And then come back. That's high praise. That's actually high praise. That's high praise. High praise.

I grabbed what I thought was a bottle of water in the middle of the night and took a huge drink. It was deep lung support. You ever had deep lung support? No. It's this, when you get like a chest infection. Yes, I know the one. It's like a Kiwi company that makes it. Oh, right. know the one. It's like a kiwi company that makes it.

Oh, right. It looks herbal. It's like a Haka Herbals or whatever it is. Yeah. It is like, I can't describe it. It's a very intense, thick taste. Right. You take a tiny amount and even then afterwards you're like,

oh, I don't need to drink your water. And they took skulls of it. Here's one for vaginas, all the vaginas listening. I work as a nurse in a general practice clinic and one of our local GPs grabbed hand sanitiser instead of lube and put it on the speculum. Lucky the mistake was noticed before it entered the patient. Before it entered the patient?

That's also not consuming it. Save that for our phone and topic tomorrow, what's been in your fanny? I enjoyed it. Save that for our phone-in topic tomorrow, what's been in your fanny? Well, we went to New Plymouth over the weekend. Vaughn didn't come. Unsupportive friend. Yeah.

Do you know that Fletch has actually travelled to Wellington to see me perform and now New Plymouth twice. I think I've got way too much free time. Yeah. Yeah, it's like way too much free time. Yeah. It's like he's got free time and some cash to spend. Crazy. Yeah. It is nuts. But we went to New Plymouth, I did my show,

and thank you to everyone who came. A lot of ZDM listeners there. One woman actually said that me and Morgan transformed her entire sex life. Oh, wow. She listened to Sex.Life. The podcast? Wow. Was it a good transformation or a bad one?

No, good transformation. Okay. That listened to Sex.Life. The podcast? Wow. Yeah. Was it a good transformation or a bad one? No, good transformation. Okay. That episode. Oh, Gary, me. I know. Told me in the bathroom. She was like, that's really, I want a whole new world. The woman's bathroom's a wild place, eh?

Because guys' bathrooms, get in, go wheeze, try not to look at anybody else's penis. Well, no. And then get out. This was a unisex bathroom. At one point, three ZDM listeners came in. We had a little party. None of us knew each other. It was so fun. Oh, that's lovely. And three ZM listeners came in. We had a little party. None of us knew each other. It was so fun.

Oh, that's lovely. And then she told me about the... And it was really great. Did she wait for the other listeners to leave? Nope. Or, oh, wow. Nope. There was one male, me, and two females.

Oh, fantastic. And we always had a good chat about it. Love that. Anyway, so we decided to drive. Because originally we were a bigger group, and we thought collectively it would save us a bit of money. Yeah, and then when everyone bailed... there was just three of us in a car. I was like, should have flown out.

We could have got down there probably cheaper. Yeah. Me and Aaron in one car and then you and our two friends, James and Mike, in the other car. And we drove past the airport all set at the same time. Could have flown. It was 10 hours on the road we didn't need to do. But anyway, lots of things happened on the drive, including we stopped for a wee-wee stop,

and me and Aaron were a little bit behind you guys because Aaron sort of like sticks to the speed limit. Right. Yeah. Whereas Mike in the electric car. He drives a bit like Vaughan, doesn't he? He loves an 80 and a 100. Little bit.

Just safety's sake. Little bit. That State Highway 1 is a dangerous place to be. Yeah. Well, safety's sake. Safety's sake. Little bit. That State Highway 1 is a dangerous place to be. Yeah. Well, it's actually State Highway 3. Yeah.

And where do we pull over for today? No, wait a minute. You begin the journey on State Highway 1. Yeah, but I'm not at this point in the journey. How far into it?

Gee wheeze a lot. In my head, we're still on State Highway 1. No, this was, we were only an hour out of New Plymouth in Mokau. Yeah, Mokau.

Mokau. Clarify your story details and I won't make these state highway whoopsies. Yeah. And we didn't plan to but we'd all stop there together for a little mimmy stop.

Yeah. But we were, we had been like dragging behind this 18 wheeler truck. Like it was just, it was so slow. Because we were about to go

and I saw you on the Fine Friends. I was like, Hayley's just up the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we waited for Hayley. He flashed his titties at me. Did you? Yeah, he did. I pretended I was a on the Fine Friends. I was like, Hayley's just up the road. And so we waited for Hayley. He flashed his titties at me. Did you?

Yeah, he did. I pretended I was a sexy hitchhiker. Wow. Okay, role play. This is how you transform that lady's sex life. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, and then I got in and I was like, oh my God, we've had such a painful drive.

We've been stuck behind this awful bloody truck. And the truck driver is literally like going into the toilet next to us. It was his truck. Hayley didn't even see him walk behind her, and then the look on his poor face. He was like, oh, I know, he did look a bit heartbroken, and I went, oh, no, no, no, not you, mate. Different truck, different truck,

and I looked at his truck, and I was like, oh, yeah. Ours was a bigger truck than that, but much bigger truck, so then I, like, truck shamed him, emasculated the dude, And said that he was going slow Yeah Who's driving a truck? I personally like my truck drivers to stick to the

Oh yeah same The speed limit Absolutely same So would I Go 100 It's 100 bro Not 60 Yeah I don't think some of them can go 100 can they?

I think they can pretty go 100 Some can only go 80 They might be speed limited as well Yeah yeah yeah Yeah Yeah but hilly But also we witnessed a crime didn't we? Oh my god broad daylight hundred can they? I think they're pretty good. Some can only go 80? They might be speed limited as well. Yeah. But also we witnessed a crime didn't we? Oh my god broad

daylight. We drove past this man. We're about on the road trip. Just out of New Plymouth. You know how on

the side of the road they just have piles of gravel? I mean you are talking about a town full of scumbags.

Vaughan I won't have you speak of my hometown like that. There were no scumbags. It was a beautiful weekend.

Well you were about to tell a story about a scumbag. There was one scumbag. Just out of New Plymouth, like broad daylight, maybe three o'clock in the afternoon, not even that. You know how they have piles of gravel

that they put for the roadworks and then when they do the roadworks, they scoop it up into the trucks. And they spray paint numbers on it. So you know what part it is. This guy in broad daylight was filling up like coal bags of gravel with a spade and a shovel. And his car was parked next to it.

And broad daylight next to the main road. Like it would have been lunchtime. Do that at 11 o'clock at night or two in the morning. No, he's got to be drunk at 11 o'clock at night. It's three o'clock's the perfect time. You've done all your hard work stealing all that gravel. Perfect time for a drink. What's he putting it on his garden path or something?

100%. Or his driveway or... Go to a landscape supplies and buy it like everybody else. It does cost money. I was like, that's audacious. This is broad daylight. It was just acting confident so no one would have questioned it.

He should have been in a high viz. What car was he driving? Just like your standard family. If you've got a should have been in a high-vis. And what kind of car was he driving? Just like your standard family. If you've got a white ute and a high-vis, you get away with it. All day. Normal dude, normal car, shoveling sacks of free gravel off the side of the highway. Yeah.

I know. Well, my apologies as well to that truck driver. I didn't mean to insult him. Put your foot down. Do you know what I mean? Put your foot down. No, it's a curvy road. You've got places to go

Very curvy roads Play ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Friday Is another day of the week And Wow That's a great

We've got smart friends man You said Monday If I could take us back to Friday Good segue So flawless Friday You've got to get down on Friday Cool reference Yeah Is that another topical reference? Good segue. So flawless. You've got to get down on Friday.

Cool reference. Yeah. Is that another topical reference? Yeah, topical. I'm full of topical references. So on Friday, I did it. I went to the Jamaican restaurant. Now, I don't even remember how we got onto talking about this a few weeks ago.

I think we were just saying how yum Jamaican chicken is. Jamaican jerk chicken. Like, where do you get it from in Auckland? Yeah. And then someone just messaged it. And I said, we need a Jamaican restaurant. Someone messaged and said, there is yum Jamaican chicken is. Jamaican jerk chicken. Like, where do you get it from? In Auckland. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then someone just messaged in. And I said, we need a Jamaican restaurant. Someone messaged in and said, there is a Jamaican restaurant. It's called Nanny's and it's in Kingsland in Auckland. Right.

And immediately that day, remember, I was like, I'm going to go. And then I said to Shada, I'm going to hang around. I'm going to go to the gym in the city and then I'm going to go and get some Jamaican for lunch. And she's like, you absolutely are not allowed because I've got lunch plans and you shan't be eating Jamaican without me. And I'm in what you've probably introduced it by now, very controlling relationship. Yeah.

So you dare not have. I cowered and I said, yes, yes, dear. Because you would have loved to have just gone on your own. By myself. Sat there quietly. Yeah, yeah. Enjoying chicken. Uh-huh.

That's some of my favourite things. Being alone and chicken. Uh-huh. That's my, that's some of my favourite things. Being alone and chicken. Yeah, dude. But anyway, that got poo-pooed and then so we booked and on Friday night

we went. I can't believe you went to Wee. I know you guys were a little bit pissy but you were away for a fun little friends weekend.

We had nice Indian. Yeah, yeah. We didn't have the finances or the time for this frivolent weekend away. And so we spent our time and finances going to nannies.

Just a big, they were a great thing. You know when people are like, oh, I'm coming to Auckland, where's good to eat? And I always say Grand Harbour yum cha. Yeah. You love a yum cha. And people are always like, where's that yum cha you're at? I reckon I get at least one message a week saying, I'm coming to Auckland. What's that yum cha you were always harping on? It's a good yum cha.

He reckons he's a foodie now. I'm a food for a minute. It's literally the most obvious yum cha in Auckland as well. You're not, you're like, here's my best secret. It's a ginormous yum cha. It's massive. Everyone knows about this yum cha. What's this Jamaican place called?

Nanny's. Now that's where I'm telling people to go. Really? Well, don't over-saturate it before we've been. That's what I'm worried about now. We were having dinner on Friday night and Vaughn was messaging us about his dinner. Yeah. Now,

you might be thinking, is Jamaican suitable for children? I took my, I have two. I took them. That chicken nuggets, wherever you go, you take them and you're like, cool, kids from a restaurant, they're just going to get chicky tenders. I'm raising with these sorts of basic bees. And so

they ordered the mac and cheese. August said it was the best mac and cheese she's ever had in her life. Her 10 years on this earth. And we told her to shut her mouth, she doesn't know anything. She's only 10. We may have had a couple of bottles of Prosecco and we were like, oh, your 10 year old thinks

she doesn't know shit about mac and cheese. She's had, like, two mac and cheeses her whole life, and she thinks this is the best one. Shut up. It ruled. And next time I'm going, I'm not driving. I've still got a fantastic rum selection. Do they?

Yeah, right. So anyway, that was one of the times I left the house at the weekend and the best time I left the house. The other four times I left the house at the weekend, four times, was to feed Hayley's cat. Now, when you're asking someone to feed your cat, it's a once a day feed. No way, man.

It's not a morning and night. I agreed to it. I was like, she's like, can you do me a big favour? I'm like, yeah. We live seven minutes apart. A hell of a guy. Seven minutes. When you've got a heavy foot, you drive a turboed Mazda,

you're seven minutes apart. Okay, nine minutes. It's a 20 minute journey. Oh my God. Okay, nine minutes. It's a 20 minute journey. So, four times! Dude, he eats, he gets three meal times during our day and we limited it to two for you. Who's feeding a cat now?

We didn't come back for his 9am snack. And also, I got around there expecting there'd be some refrigerated wetness. No, nothing. We left nothing in the fridge. No, no, not for me. I was talking about the cat. I was like, I must have to go around twice because otherwise you would just buy a biscuit dispenser. Yeah.

Like I do. I contemplated on Friday when I went around and I read the schedule and it was just a few spoons of this, what I will say, awful looking dry food. Feed your cats some wet. They, I was like, I'm just going to bring around our cat food dispenser and turn the timer on and then I'm done. But he needs human contact as well. He needs to see people.

I picked him up the first time I got there. Don't pick him up. It was late. It was late. And he was like, obviously hungry. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, hey, buddy. And I picked him up.

The minute I picked him up, he was like. You sent the funniest photo, which is Vaughn with this huge smile on his face and a blurry grey cat blob. This is him. He doesn't like to be picked up by strangers. He needs to work him to help. Bad cat.

He got smacked. How would you like it if someone just walked in your front door, picked you up? Are they feeding me? Yes. Well, pick me up, mummy. If it's a big muscle mummy and she's like, here's some dry biscuits. Now I want to pick you up and pat you.

I'd be like, I'm absolutely yours. Do unto me as you will. Then I went back the next time. Didn't see him. Went back the next time. That's right. I went four times. I stole limes on the third time.

He's not going to let you. Because the cat hissed at me. Hissed at you? In audacity. I went round to feed him. I was on my third Because the cat hissed at me. Hissed at you? In audacity. I went round to feed him. I was on my third visit and he hissed at me. I walked in and I was like, oh, hey, Rolly. Because I talk to cats like I talk to humans.

I don't have a baby voice. Hey, Rolly. And he went. And I went, I beg your pardon. And at that value, he ran out the cat door. Yeah, right. I can't believe he hissed at you. I know he hissed at me. And then on the fourth visit't believe he hissed at you. I know he hissed at me.

He doesn't like you. And then on the fourth visit, he also hissed at me. He's got a chute. He hissed at me twice. He doesn't like it when we abandon him because he likes, you know, the heater on at night and some cuddles and some nice times. Not to be picked up aggressively by a strange man, by a strange muscle daddy.

He doesn't like it. Will you be helping Hayley in the future? 100% he will. He lives seven minutes drive away. I'll be dropping off my dry food rotating dispenser. I appreciate it dearly. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day comes to us from Producer Shannon.

This could be an interesting picture. Producer Shannon. And it was a woman on TikTok talking about national dishes that aren't from that country. She talked mostly about chicken tikka masala, how it's not, it's Scottish. It's the chicken tikka. And then this guy was like, it needs more tomato, complaining to the restaurant owner who was like,

I'll show you a made chicken tikka masala and was immediately like, what have I done? This is delicious. It is so good. But I think it's fairly well known that teka masala isn't an Indian curry. Well, it's a bit like Tex-Mex. Like a lot of the Mexican food. You go to Mexico and you're like,

where's this? My California burrito. Where's my sizzling fajita plate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's much more a Texas take on Mexican food. Well, today for foods not where the country you probably think they're from, tempura.

What? Wow, out the gate. Out the gate. Blowing our minds. With a home run. Jaw on floor. Jaw? To be picked up. That's me trying to pick up my jaw.

In 1543, three Portuguese sailors arrived in Japan and started a trading relationship that would last for centuries. If you've watched Shogun, you'll be familiar with the Portuguese influence on the Japanese. Right. Rarely tried to get Catholicism off the ground there, but Shinto remained strong. Along with guns and religion, Portuguese traders and Jesuit ministeries. Are you drunk? Yeah.

We did say producer Shannon as well. The word mission should have an H in it. Mish, yeah. I'll go out on a little branch here and it should be M-I-S-H-I-O-N. I always say mission. Yeah, mission. Mission impossible. Very top secret, mission.

Jess Hewitt, missionaries. Also, what with them, the food practices of home. So the Portuguese like to batter and fry things. Okay. Little fish of the garden was a very popular Portuguese dish at the moment. It was fried beans, vegetables. When they gave up meat, they would deep fry vegetables for Lent, which is a Catholic practice in the lead up to Easter.

So they brought it with them and the Japanese were like, we dig that. Yeah. And so they kind of took it over. Put it in their bento boxes. Yeah. So then they- I love tempura.

Yeah, tempura rolls. It's so good, eh? Tempura veg, yum. Or the shrimp tempura. Tempura shrimp. That's what they said. It's not, it wasn't traditionally tempura, the old shrimp. Yeah.

I love a tempura bean. They added that. Yep. How good's a bean? I mean, your string's better when you batter it and deep fry it. Oh, anything. Broccoli? Yum. Yep. Yum. I thought you were trying to come up with an it and deep fry it. Oh, anything. Broccoli? Yum.

Yep. I thought you were trying to come up with an example that didn't work. I was like, no, you failed. No, there's none. No, they're always in the temporary veggies. There's always a little head of floret of broccoli. It's good stuff. And you know the Jamaican places I was just talking about before,

their pork ribs are cooked and then individually deep fried really quickly. Are you on some kind of... You're on Big Rib. You're on Big Rib, Narnie. You're on Big Jamaican. Big Jamaican. Yeah. That's what they used to call me

in high school. They definitely did, I reckon. I'm going to put I'll put a million dollars that they didn't call you Big Jamaican. I think when they were calling you Big Jamaican

when you came last in the 100 Metres of Prince it was a joke board. Oh, is it because of my monster wang? No, I don't think it's your monster wang either. God damn it.

None of it stacks up. It wasn't my speeding footwork and my monster wang. No, I don't think it's your monster wang either. God damn it. None of it stacks up. It wasn't my speeding footwork and my monster wang. Nothing about you is Jamaican. No, literally. Nothing. Not a single bit other than the fact that Jamaican me crazy. That's good stuff. Well, stay tuned for the rest of the week.

Yeah, I'm loving this. As we talk about food, national dishes that aren't from the country you'll think they are. Fantastic stuff. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Day. Deer, deer, deer, deer, deer. Clay ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Clay ZM.

Beautiful love story here. Rebecca from Masterton and Graham from Auckland, who met in a run club. No. Some people like to get out and get fitness under their feet. I love a run. I'm not out there for chat. If you're chatting, you ain't running.

Yeah, it's hard, isn't it? And if you are running and chatting and you're like, what are you doing? So they're calling run clubs the new Tinder. Yeah, there's another couple. Mallory moved from America in a way to make friends. She loved running, joined a run club. And her first week she met Dwayne,

who offered to show her Fungare's best running trials. 18 months later, married. Bought a house together. One month old baby. They're like, run clubs is a new place to meet people. Too sweaty. It's too like, and you're wearing your manky gym gear and then you're like. Boobies strapped in.

And you're sweat. Wrap around glasses strapped in and you're sweat. Wrap around glasses. Maybe you go a bit red when you run. Yeah. But people are just like Tinder is so washed up and dry. I mean, I've never been on it, but they're just like, it's just, well, they're over it. Yeah. Right.

And you've got to think it is like 15 years in, right? We grow tired of these things. They're like, you've got to go out and do unique activities. That is the way to meet the kind of people that you want to meet. So this is what I wanted to ask is what activity did you meet your partner at? So maybe you went and you tried a pottery class. Maybe you went and you would try, you know, just something new. And then you maybe met the love of your life.

And not in a very untraditional way. Yeah. Because Tinder's boring. The clubs is boring. Yeah. You meet a lot ofraditional way. Yeah. Because Tinder's boring. De clubs is boring. Yeah. You meet a lot of dirtbags at the clubs. Good for some things. But if you're into, I don't know,

de clubs and dancing at like two o'clock in the morning, I guess you're finding a common ground there. Yeah, maybe you are. But more like, I want to know the activity. The best people are the people that like going to the clubs two o'clock and they just have a string of terrible romances with bad eggs. And then they're like, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't find the right guys.

It's like you are dealing with absolute face chews at 2 o'clock on a Saturday. God, yeah. So someone texted and said that they met their boyfriend at a run club. Now they live together. Well, thank you, Mel. Wow, that's amazing. Someone met rock climbing, now married with two kids. See, these are the things. At least

you know if you're a runner and you meet your new partner at run club, they're not going to be, they are going to be that person on holiday that wants to go for a run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not going to be a surprise or a shock to you. Yeah, that's true. Exactly. Lot of people meeting at fun activities. This is what we want to know. Okay, well give us a call

0800 DALS at Emmett is the number. You can text through 9696. Did you meet your partner, fiancé, boyfriend, girlfriend at a fun activity? And what was it? So apparently run clubs are the new Tinder. So many people meeting at run clubs. Hooking up with their local run club. We want to know what activity you met your lover at.

Yeah, maybe it's a hobby. Someone said drinking in the clubs. No. No. I met my partner at Waikaraka Speedway. He was a stock car driver, and I was in the pits with my friend, and I saw him, and I thought, yep, I'll be hitting that. Eleven years later, two kids, three cats, I'll still hit that.

You're still hitting it. You're hitting it. And probably still go to the stock cars too at the weekend. Stephanie, this is how your parents met. Yes, so it's their story. They'd be mortified if they knew I was calling up.

Wow. Many years ago, my dad was gifted some scuba diving lessons from his now ex-wife, and my mum was his scuba diving lessons from his now ex-wife. And my mum was his scuba diving instructor. They fell in love

underwater. They fell in love. Oh, that mask and the little bubbles. So wait, your dad's ex bought your dad this as a little like experience package. I think it was like a Christmas present or something. She should have gone. She should have gone on the trip with him, I think.

I know, right? That's so good. Okay, so we can put that down. Run clubs and scuba lessons. Scuba diving lessons. Fall in love under the sea. Things you call. Paige, how did you meet your partner?

We met through the fire service. Oh, like on the job? Or were you like recruits in training together? Yeah, we were recruits in training together? Yeah, we were recruits in training together so we were in the same recruitment group

and about six months later we started dating and three years strong and two kids now. Oh. I thought this was going to be you were lighting fires and he was coming

to put them out and you were like, I might light another fire and see if that cutie comes and say, he's hot, yeah. Let's crank this up,

let's do a garage. I know there's that P-Lab down the road. I might go chuck a match in there and then of course I'll catch fire. Oh, that's nice, isn't it? So do you have to work together now? Not anymore. I've left since we were.

Wow, okay. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. Thank you. That's hot. How hot are fire people though? Kerry, good morning. Morning.

How did you meet your partner? So I met my partner at the probation centre. Kerry! Wait, working or were you in trouble? Well, when I found out she got sentenced to 200 hours, I was sentenced to 200 hours. I thought that was a good sign. You can spend 200 hours together.

What a way to bond. And so were you doing... 200 hours to, you know, to connect. Yeah. What kind of community service work were you doing for those 200 hours with her? We were just working on the marae, so working around our tīpuna.

I guess they made it happen. Yeah. And so when did love blossom between the two of you? At, like, what hour mark? On the last day of our census, so we only had 200 hours. On our last eight hours, we thought we'd carry on after that. Oh! Yeah, nice!

Push a couple of mattresses together later on. Commit another crime, you know. Wow, and so how many hours has it been now with her? Push a couple of mattresses together later on. Commit another crime, you know. Wow. And so how many hours has it been now with her? It's been about 8,000 hours now. Oh, that's a love story. That's so nice. That's a love story.

I love that. We meet in the strangest of places, don't we, Kerry? We do. Kitty, thanks for your call. Keep your texts coming in 9696. I'll 800 dials at him. How did you meet your partner? People do look sexy in a high-vis on the side of the road.

I'll say it. It's the danger. Yeah, I'm loving these stories. So good. Apparently run clubs are the new Tinder. Yeah, where did you meet your partner? What activity were you doing? Rather than the old dating classics of Tinder and, I don't know, being set up.

They're great stories because it does remind you that if you just get out there. Yeah. And Kitty shows us love is alive in the strangest of places. Even doing community service. Yeah. Love it. Yeah, when your times line up. It's beautiful.

Force proximity. Perfect. Sarah, how did you meet your partner? So I was a paramedic and he was a police officer. We actually met during CPR on the side of the Auckland motorway. Oh, that's hot. That's a hot story. I mean, who was there first, you or him?

He was there first. He found the car with the bonnet up that something was wrong, so he stopped and started it and called the ambulance, and I turned up. Obviously, we didn't know each other. Yep. And then about three years later, we joined the Army, and we were in the same section,

and he was telling me about the first time he ever did CPR, being the Auckland Motorway, right around. And I was like, oh, my God, did this happen? And he was like, yes. And I was like, I was there. Oh, my God. So there was a three-year gap. Now you're in the Army.

What happens then? You're in the same platoon. Yeah, platoon. How American. You're in the Army, what happens then? You're in the same, what are they? Platoon. Yeah, platoon. How American, eh? You're in the same platoon, so you've dispatched an arm. So what happens when you're in the Army? Because is that kind of frowned upon? Is that a bit naughty-naughty?

Or is that okay? Oh, well, we were just sort of on basic training, and then I was like, oh, yeah, you know, you seem like a nice guy. And then we graduated and split off into our different cores. And, yeah, he just sort of messaged me one day and we just sort of caught up. We were mountain biking, righty-right. And, yeah.

Oh, mountain biking. But are you allowed to hook up with other people in the army? Oh, God, those bunks are uncomfortable, eh? The videos I've seen online, it seems okay. Like, they do it all the time. I think don't have to watch the video. We weren't in the army like, together in the same area.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, 11 years later. Wait, it's 11 years since the CPR or it's 11 years since the army? 11 years since the army, Meek. Oh, wow. So another four or three years before that, the CPI happened. It was meant to be.

It's a good love story. That's great. The planets have aligned for you. They keep bringing you together. That's gorgeous. They have each other's lives. Sarah, amazing. Thank you.

Some messages in. Met my partner, now fiance, playing Pokemon Go. Don't laugh. Sorry. That was a great way people got outside. Steps were up. It was gorgeous. Out there to catch a shiny Pikachu.

Yeah, and you caught yourself a husband. Been together seven years, still play the game together. Oh, steps were up. It was gorgeous. Out there to catch a shiny Pikachu. Yeah, and you caught yourself a husband. Been together seven years, still play the game together. Oh, that's cute. I met my partner at Trampoline Dodgeball on Christchurch

when I saw her take a ball to the face and I knew she was the one. Yep. That's the one. I met my partner at my work's Daffodil Day

fundraiser golf event. Oh, lovely. We're doing a fundraiser Daffodil Day soon. Maybe we'll meet some hotties. I was only 22

and he was the only other person my age at the whole event. I was driving a golf cart offering beers and he kept saying no to free beers so I thought

that's weird. He's lucky I gave What's wrong with you? What's up? New Zealanders. You don't want a beer? Are you okay? Are you pregnant?

Are you pregnant dude? Well then what's the reason here? Yeah. We've been together for two years now. Lovely. That's cute.

Early days. I met my husband at a dance class and most of my friends met their partners too. Shout out West Coast Swing. Is it keys in a bowl swing? Someone said swingers party, but no details on it. Okay. I met my partner doing power lifting together.

That would be interesting if you went to a swingers party and it gets to the point for a little swopdy doodah and then you have this deep connection with the new partner. What do you do? That's everybody's worst nightmare. That's why a lot of people don't do it. Because they're not comfortable with that. I met my husband at

Taekwondo. The club has produced at least three marriages now. What, kick him in the face? Is that the one where you're rolling around with him? No, that's Capoeira. That's the Brazilian one. Is Taekwondo a little bit wrestling? Or is it Judo

that's a bit more wrestling? I think Judo is a bit more wrestling. Yeah, you can imagine that gets a bit... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bits. Yeah.

Track pants. Track pants! Say no more. Oh. I just heard your tummy go. Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show.

Ah, not for me. Vaughan? Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No.

Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.