ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th December 2024

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Don't Try this Apple Trend Top 6 - Merged Names for Nissan/Honda Liquid Death Nappy Sold Out Silly Little Poll - Is It Okay to Pop Pimples in Public? German Tourists How Tight Are You and Your Grandparents? What's Ya Jobby? Mooing Sound on Toilet When Was Your Junk on Display? Fact Of the Day Fletch's New Addiction Boy JailSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleshborn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Thursday,

even though yesterday I was running into people all day and they were like, God, Thursday? Yesterday was Thursday. I left the street this morning and everyone's bins were out. They think it's Friday. Yeah. Excuse you, darling. Tis the season, by the way.

Tis the season for a sneeze. What is the pollen? What's the pollen? Record high, isn't it? Reading at. I'm already sneezy. It's going to be a very allergic summer. Yeah, I halfway started dragging the bins out this morning

and then I was like, no. No, it's not Friday. It's not Friday. So we are here again tomorrow morning. Yes, we are. The last show. And I believe for the last show you've been working on something. I have been.

I've been working quite hard on something. Hayley's version returns. It's been a hot, hot minute. And this will be wrapping up everything for the year, which you did last year as well. Yes, I did. I've ended the year before, and I've been a bit slack on the songs this year.

I do apologise, but I am. I'm doing a wrap-up, and I'm not going to say the song that I'm covering because I do want it to be a surprise for not really the listener, more for someone in this room. Okay, oh wow. Okay. So that's tomorrow. Is it going to be prime time? Do I get a prime time?

Prime time. Prime time. Absolutely. A lot of pressure on a prime time. If you're an early morning listener, you probably just want to put on the iHeartRadio app when you get to work. Like if you're listening now and you're like, God, but I can't wait till eight. iHeartRadio, listen to us then. Eight o'clock tomorrow, Hayley's version returns with a wrap of the year.

The top six is on the way and there's talk that Nissan and Honda, the people that make the cars, are going to merge. Yeah. So that they can be... To be honest, Nissan's been really rolling the dice on cars, weird cars, since the 80s. Nissan, if you see a weird car, you're always like, that's a Nissan. Yeah, the Tita.

They did the S Cargo, they did the Cube, they did the Tita. They do weird cars, which I really like. Yeah. But then they also do... But I'm surprised that there's room for them in this modern environment. They do like nanny cars, but then they do... My brother's got like a Nissan, like a sports car. Oh, yeah, they do the Skyline, the very famous Nissan Skyline.

Well, they could merge. And so the Top 6 zone. The Top 6 merged names for Honda Nissans. Great. Because will it become Missin? Why would it become Missin? Nissin, Honda. Oh, I was thinking of Mazda

Or it would be Hissen Hissen or Nonda I like Nonda Nonda's a bit cuter Nonda's cute Nonda sounds like, you know, your friend that you're not really sure where they're from But it turns out they're from Croatia Yeah, you presumed India

Yeah, you're not really sure where they're from, but it turns out they're Croatian, and they talk about their nanda back home. Yes. And you're like, is it an auntie? Is it a nana? We don't know. Is it a great-grandmother?

Is it the village elder? Play Zed-Ems, Fleshborn and Hayley. Trying to buy a vintage fish mould dish. And I messaged her saying, is this still available? She said, yes. And I said, great, I'd love to purchase it. She said, sorry, someone's just bought it. Wait, now at six o'clock in the morning?

Excuse me? Well, I only just received this now. Can you stop trade me and get on to work, please? No, tell me why I want to see this vintage fish dish. You are going to love it. You won't. You'll be like, why would I? What was it for you?

Was it for your house or was it a gift? No, it was just for me. It's like a vintage, like a green fish mould dish that you would put fish-based quiche or sort of a pie. What? Who's making a fish quiche? Stop buying crap. It's not crap.

Stop making fish quiches. Yuck. Hey, what are you guys doing this weekend? Do you want to pop over and make a fish quiche? No, I'd rather leave the country than have fish pie. Okay, anyway, let's carry on. So there's this trend in China where, and I don't

really understand the science of how this happens. You said we could try this at home with our Apple Watches. Yeah, because do you want to listen to the rest of the details? I don't live in China. Oh, I do. Okay, but I can still do this here? Yeah. Well, no. Because we don't have in China. Oh, I do. Okay, but I can still do this here? Yeah.

Well, no, because we don't have high-speed trains, which I think is the thing that you need. I've been on a high-speed train. It's amazing. I've been on the Eurostar. Is that high-speed? We're not one in Italy. Some of them are high-speed, but they're not high, high-speed. They're not like Asia where it's just like...

I went on one of the local playground, and the speed was all dependent on who was pushing you and how fast they could push you. I've seen those. Yeah, they're fun. They're fun. Yeah. I wouldn't call it high speed though. No.

Well, that's because you're too slow. Okay. Actually, yeah, that's my own limitations. My friend, Speedy Tim, was pushing me and boy, it felt like a high speed train. So people are doing this. I was like, ni hao, ni hao to everybody going past because I felt like I was on a Chinese high-speed train. You're right. They were like, right.

Ni hao. But you're probably going like 10 kilometres an hour. You're probably going walking pace. I was going so fast, it didn't sound like I was saying ni hao. It sounded like I was going ni hao. Ni hao. So it's something to do with Apple Watches and they're realising if you're on a high-speed train,

that if you put your wrist or you take off your watch, it like sticks to the window. Okay. Like it's like there's a kind of a drawer. Because that's how they go so fast, right? Because there's electromagnets in them and it makes them so there's no friction. Is that how the roller coasters,

some of the roller coasters work? And how they get from like zero. Because the friction of a train wheel going slows it down. I know this because I'm borderline autistic and I'm just kind of like scooting the outsides. Yeah, kissing it.

Give it a kiss. Your love of trains. And every now and then someone will just message me privately on Instagram and be like, have you ever been like tested? And I'll be like,

leave me alone. So the friction in the wheels makes it slow, but remove that friction. And it goes a lot faster. It hovers, and you need the electromagnetic, and you need the super coolants. So it creates an electromagnetic field.

So that's what's pulling them. So people are sticking their watches, the face of the watch, to the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you were backing your hand into it. But apparently it's so strong that once it's on there, when people are trying to remove it, it's literally splitting the watch in half.

People are like, try this screen and go like this. Or is it undoing the strap? Because these Apple Watch straps, the default ones, ship house. Oh, they're terrible and they stink. Never wear them in the sea or in a boat. I lost yours in a waterfall. I should have listened to TLC. I didn't.

No. Well, no, they're literally ripping the whole face off them. Oh, wow. Like pulling them apart so you can see the inside like this. And now, the trains in China

are like putting these signs up being like banned. Like, don't do this. But then that's making people... But what if you were just like, because when I sleep on a plane or a train, I'll put my hand up

next to my head so I can sort of rest on it. My watch would be... Not on a plane because it's not... There's no electromagnetic force and a plane's place there. I was going to rest on it. My watch would be... Not on a plane because it's not, there's no electromagnetic force and a plane's place there. I was going to say on a train,

but I don't, I barely ever go to the train. So they're sticking it to the glass. Yeah. So there's just a magnetic field on the outside that's pulling. It's so strong that it's like... Can you stick any, like could you stick a coin on there?

If it was a magnetic, most coins don't have magnetic properties. But is it because the Apple Watch is a magnetic thing for the charger? Yeah, for the charger. Oh, okay. So it's the magnet bit and then as they're trying to pull it apart,

they're literally ripping the motor. The watch itself is coming up. And then they made this like a TikTok thing being like, try this trend. And then people are sharing being like, why did you make me try this? It's literally split the whole thing apart. But when the train stops at a station and it's not going like 900,

how fast do they go? Maybe it would drop. Would it stick up, unstick? Yeah. I don't know. See, now I just want to try that. Same. Sticking anything next to a magnet, you're just like, ugh.

Magnets are top five things to play with. Yeah. What are the other four? Do you remember when my father- Yeah, go. Come on, Mr. Top father... Number one, yourself. Let's face it, nothing can beat it. Magnets, come close.

Number two, cornflour, glue, water. That's solid until you tap it and then you go I was going to say water. Building a dam in the river. Diverting the river. Beads in a jar. Beads in a dam in the river. Diverting the river. Yeah. But like beads. Beads. In a jar.

Yeah, beads. Beads in a bucket. And magnets. Sade's dad. Great list. Great list. I don't think you ever saw his invention. He was an audiologist.

Yeah. Which will surprise people who only hear the stories I tell about him. My father-in-law was at all in the medical field because it seems like he should have been in the loony bin. I thought you were going to say the music world. Let's face it, that's a far off dream. But when he would change people's hearing aid batteries, he would keep the old batteries.

These tiny button batteries. He had hundreds of them. He made himself his own magnetic underlay for his mattress. And he'd sleep on a metal sheet covered in batteries that had a magnetic property. Because you remember when that whole thing,

all the infomercials on TV were magnetic underlays. And no one really explained what they do. It was all cuckoo bananas magic. And he was like, I've got my own magnet. And then one day he was like, when he moved to Thailand, he's like, I give this to you. I was like, I don't want it. But there was just, I just made like meter I give this to you. I was like, I don't want it. But there was just I just made like meter long

tails of battery magnets. Interesting guy, eh? Yeah, interesting man. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top

six. Well, there is news that two car giants could be merging. Why? Well, I think that... Are they both not doing great? The idea is they want to compete with, like, you know, your other EV makers. Right. Like Tesla.

And Polestar. Japan's Honda and Nissan begin merger talks so that they can compete against electric vehicle makers. And I think one of them isn't doing great and was maybe... Well, I remember when my dad... We always had very average cars. And then one day my dad came home, admittedly, with a secondhand car. But it had this sticker on it, Car of the Year. Do you remember those? and then one day my dad came home, admittedly, with a secondhand car. Yeah.

But it had this sticker on it, Car of the Year. Oh, wow. Do you remember those? We used to have the car of the year and it was the Honda Legend. Honda Legend? It was burgundy and it had, this was in the 90s,

and it had cream leather seats. And I remember dad being like, get in the back, we'll go for a drive. And I drove around and I was like, I think we might be rich. All right. I remember having that sort of like moment where I was like, wow, these are cream leather seats and we own the car of the year.

Pretty posh. It was a Honda legend and I felt real posh. Well, what will they call this new car company? Will it be Hissen? Or? Nonda? Or Hansan? Or Hansan? Nosten?

Nistan? Sure. Niston? Holland? Keep stalling for 20 more seconds so I can come up with the last one. When you actually look at a lot of car brands, there's only a few companies in the whole world. Yeah, they're owned by like parent companies, right?

Like lots of the Euro ones are all owned by the same kind of... So they'll keep their names, I'm sure. Yeah, probably. But today's top six. The top six are Honda, Nissan brand names for cars. So there's existing Honda brands. Yep.

You know, under the Honda umbrella and Nissan models. Models or makes? Makes and models. Makes. Makes and models. Yeah, because the brand is Honda. The make is Honda. The model, the models. Yeah. The models for car. So these are the merged names.

Yeah. If these two companies merge. Number six on the list, the Tita Chord. That's the mix of the Nissan Tita and the Honda Accord. The Tita Chord. The Tita Chord. The Tita Chord. Yeah, that's one of the most stolen vehicles, isn't it?

It's going to be little, but it's going to be zippy. The Teeter. It'll be great for a ram raid. No, it's too wide. No, because it's going to have the width of the Teeter, but the length of the Accord. It's going to be long and thin, and it's going to go straight in.

The first time I ever toured around a show, we got a rental car to drive around the South Island, and I'll never forget, it was a champagne coloured Nissan Tita. It was so embarrassing. Champagne. You drove into city

in a Tita. When I see a Tita on the motorway, I'm like, you better not be leaving the city. No, the whole South Island. No, that's horrible. Arthur's Pass. Dude, in a Tita? In a champagne Nissan Tita. We're on a budget, man. Yeah, good stuff. I just thought the Dude, in a Teeter? In a champagne Nissan Teeter. We're on a budget, man. Yeah, good stuff.

I just thought the Teeter was a town car, full stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great for shopping. Yeah, you're great. I don't know. Great for the groceries. It fits in all the car parks. Okay, I did not know this.

It's got a 1.5 or a 1.8 litre engine, the Teeter. I always assumed that must be the new Teeters. The old Teeters looked like they were a rocket of 500cc. I live to tell the tale, so we made it. And they look like they should make this noise. They do. There goes the Teeter. Number five on the list of the top six Honda-Nissan car model mergers,

the Patrol Leaf. The Patrol Leaf. This is a cross between the Nissan Patrol. A big, fat four-wheel drive. Big, fatty. I actually quite like those. Yeah. I see out west there's quite a four-wheel drive collective.

Okay. And I like the Patrols. I think it needs to be punchier. Do you know what I mean? It needs to be shorter, like Petrief. Petrief. Petrief. Petrief.

Petrief. Petrief. And then the Leaf is a little. Petrief feels like. But I was merging them because Patrol ends with L and Leaf starts with L. You know, I understand the thing. Patrol Leaf. But do you know what I mean? Like on the back of car. No, L. You know, I understand the thinking. Patrol, leaf. But do you know what I mean?

Like on the back of car, they're always smaller. No, I don't think you're listening to me. Patrol, leaf. Petrife. You're not listening. It's the baby name of 2025. Petrife. Petrife.

Petrife. And this goes well, actually, because, you know, the patrol, big diesel, big guzzler. Leaf, electric. Yeah. What a perfect combination. So it's electric until it runs out of charge, and then it just runs on diesel. Diesel. Thick diesel.

And again, like the Tito Kord, the width of the leaf, the length of the patrol. Gorgeous. Long and thin. Lovely. Number four on the list of the top six Honda Nissan names for car models, the Qashqai Integra. Oh, yeah, okay.

It's a mouthful. Qashqai Integra. The Qashqai Integra. Wow. So it's sporty, but it's also... Theful. It has Kashkai Tegra. The Kashkai Tegra. Wow. So it's the... So it's sporty, but it's also... It's the Kashkai meets the Honda Integra. Right.

Yeah. Okay. It's nice. Okay. Yep. It's sporty, but sensible for mum. Does my mum have a Kashkai? I think my mum has a Kashkai.

Does she? She's got a Nissan something. Okay. So the Kashkai, the thing that looks like the Kashkai. That would be a great name for a car. Like a model. The something. The something. There is a Nissan something. The cash guy, the thing that looks like the cash guy. That would be a great name for a car. Like a model. The something. The something.

There is a Nissan something. No, what were those? In Bali, you know those weird convertible old German? No, they're called the things. The Volkswagen thing. Oh, right. Okay. They rule.

Great name for a car. And I've never seen one in person until in Bali. They're everywhere. You can go on little Volkswagen thing tours. This is like a bloody episode of Top Gear, isn't it? No, it's Type. Which one's Jeremy Clarkson? The Volkswagen Type.

Oh, no, the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is this woman coming in here? I know. This is the second time today she's tried to correct me, and she's been wrong. Yeah. That's it?

It's just that one of the images called it a type. That's such a thing. Cute. That's a Hammond thing to do. That's big Hammond energy. The brain injury from the crash. Yeah, from the rocket crash. I'm James May because I'm not really

needed, but every now and then you're like it's right that he's here. I'll be Jeremy Clarkson. He's got a farm and I'm a prick. That's right. The number here. Only Jeremy Clarkson. He's got a farm and I'm a prick. That's right. The number three on the list of the top six Honda, Nissan, and Acer car models is the GRTC RV. Lovely. Jesus, what a mess.

That's a simple one. Just lots of letters there. Everyone loves letters. Number two is a cross between the Nissan Cube and the Honda Beat. It's called the Cubeat. Love it. That'sat. Love it. That's cute. Love it.

Yeah, I can imagine that. And number one on the list of the top six Honda-Nissan names for models is a merge, if you will, between the Honda Quint and the Nissan Leaf. We're calling it the Queef. Oh, yeah. The Quief. Okay, right. What are you driving around in these days, Sprout?

I get around in my Queef. ZM's'll get around with a car. I'm a quack. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Great bit of marketing here from a company. You would have seen these liquid death drinks around either online. I just, like, last week learnt what they were. I've seen them in the supermarket for a while. They are in New Zealand.

Yeah, they've been around for ages. They've been around for ages. I don't know that. Producer Carlin, what's the history of this brand? Look, I don't know who started it, but there are a lot of like YouTubers who are on board with it. So like Cody Co. I don't know who that is.

What does Cody Co do? You know, Cody Co, the content from Cody Co. You know, you watch the content from Cody Co. He does the dances. There was the things. He reviewed us. He reviewed us, remember? We were on his podcast.

He reviewed Girl Math. Wow. Yeah. Oh, okay. Ten out of ten, I imagine. It was a big deal for people who know. It started with Mike Cesaro started liquid death. And these cans are like monster energy cans.

Yeah, they look like it. They look like they should be some death metal energy drink. But it's water or it's either sparkling or just normal water. Yeah. Yeah, water with lime in it. And I've had one of these. I think we had them sent here. Yes, we did.

And then you're drinking water, just plain water out of a giant can that looks like an energy drink. And you're just like, this feels weird. But then in America, right, there's a lot of people who can't drink the tap water. Yeah. So they buy bottled water. So in America, it was the more environmentally friendly option because you could recycle the cans. And there's lots of canned water.

But it makes zero sense for a product that is trying to be like environmentally conscious to ship it across the world to here. Yeah, yeah, but that's just the world. It's marketing on. We can drink water out of our tap. But the thing is, Vaughn, we will. That's such a mum thing to say. There's plenty of water in the tap. There literally is.

So anyway, Liquid Death, the brand, the water brand, jumped on after a, and you may have, we talked about this a couple of weeks ago, there was an incident at the Sabrina Carpenter San Francisco show. Somebody went viral because she wet herself. Okay. What? What, does that all just go viral? I'll do it right now.

I'm wetting my pants. I don't have any ways in the name. Make me famous, internet. Sorry. So she was filmed urinating in the middle of the crowd. Fergie started this. She seemed squatting on the floor while the performance continued around her. And the crowd reacted with, like, shock, disbelief.

Like, I've seen someone do this at a concert. It's wild. Wait, sorry. I thought you meant Sabrina Carpenter pissed herself. No. Someone in the audience. That's why I was like, no. How did I not hear about this?

So this is the pit diaper has been released and it is a, kind of, how would you describe that? It kind of looks like something someone would like a metal fan would wear to a concert. Yeah, or to some kind of underground adults only club.

Yeah, who didn't want to leave the front row. Now listen, as someone who has spent a great deal of time in the pit, you work hard to get your position in the pit. You don't want to leave. Oh, we've talked to, we talked to years ago, that woman that wore a diaper to, was it One Direction? Or Harry Styles? Oh God.

Because she didn't want to leave the front row. And this was an adult woman. No, no, but you don't work so hard. And especially because Liquid Death, as you say, has that kind of like heavy metal vibe. Yeah. And like, you know, like those crowds, you're crammed in, you're pushed, you can't get out.

Well, they've sold out these. I mean, obviously they didn't make a lot of them and it's great marketing. Really good. It's really good marketing from them because they look cool. So you just pay into it. Can I bounce back to Liquid Death?

Yes. I've learnt what inspired Liquid Death. Go. Mike Cesario, the guy that started it, is a graphic designer, and in 2009 he saw a clip from the Vans Warp Tour where people were – What a tour. They had a Monster Energy and then they kept the can and were just filling it up off water stations

and drinking water out of a can. And he's like, I could market water. I could take the monster energy marketing approach and use it on canned water. And did. And now how this other LinkedIn article, how liquid death turned plain water

into a $1.4 billion business. What? It's genius. That is insane. We're all about image. Everyone just wants to look cool. Do you look cool with your pump bottle? Or a can of liquid death? It's good marketing. It's great. You've got to appreciate the marketing. It's really good marketing.

But, plenty of water in the tap. Dude, so much water in the tap. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole is based on something I saw yesterday at the gym. Now, and I cast not judgment, lest thee be cast upon.

Because you know me, I'm manky. I'm manky throwing through from top to bottom. But yesterday I went to the gym and Did you want some kind of medal for that? what did you do? back, back and chest

yeah, I was too busy as well I was really busy it's weird because everyone's going because all of a sudden they need the summer bod in like two weeks my new year's resolution, I'm going to make another one I haven't done this one yeah it was really busy, anyway but I went

downstairs to get changed and I want to make another one. I haven't done this one. Yeah. Yeah, it was really busy. Anyway, but I went downstairs to get changed and I went to the toilet. Yeah. And as I came out of the toilet, there's like these big sinks with mirrors in front of them and there was a chick in the mirror absolutely hooning a pimple. Like absolutely two fingers,

fingering out, squeezing. She would have squirted on the public mirror. She would have squirted on the mirror. Was there, like, did you surprise her when you walked out of the toilet? Like, were there other people around? I think there was, like, one woman sort of on the other side. Right. So she wouldn't have been, like, visible.

But she didn't do, she wasn't, like, you know, oh, my gosh. She just kept bloody going as I washed my hands. Really? Yeah, she was just like. Oh, because, like, that's something I'd do if no one was around. Yeah, same. If you were washing your hands and you see a white head, you'd be like, quickly. Yeah.

And then leave. But she was really digging into a juicer. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, and then I did find it odd that she didn't even stop or try to pretend or sort of look at me and be like, hee. She was just like really into it. Like focused and like, you really try to, or sort of look at me and be like, she was just like really into it. Like focused and like.

Really. Okay. You know, juice that. This is a question we asked you today for silly little poll. Is it okay to pop pimples in public? How have the people responded, Vaughn Allen? The people have said 88%. No.

12% have said yes. Okay. Okay. When you see that whitehead though, and it's ready. I'm not saying leave it and wait, but just. Public places with no audience. Like if I see one, if I'm leaving work and I'm the only one in the elevator going down,

there's this massive walled mirror and I'm like, oh shit, that needs to be taken care of real quick. Same. Yeah. But I'm not standing there giving it like a good draining. And not if someone else was in the lift. No, no, no. God, no. And yeah, not if it was one that you know is

going to require a bit of time. What about you're driving and you stop at the lights or whatever and you see one. Would you have a quick... Yeah, but your fingers are going to be dirty. You're only going to make it worse. But I've definitely... Remember I've popped pimples in a car park before. Yeah. And some people saw it and you're like, yeah. Okay, well. But you're only going to make it worse. But I've definitely, remember I've popped pimples in a car park before. Some people saw it and you're like, yeah.

Okay, well. But you're in your car. I'm in my car. That's my car. That's your private property. Yeah, it's mine. I know it's not kosher, said Rose, but sometimes I'm very tempted to have a little squeeze. They are hard to ignore. It's like smelling your own fart, says Sam. Fine when it's yours, but

no one else wants to see that. Yeah. Or smell it. It's full on. It's not okay to pop other people's pimples either. Jamie does not want them popped in public. She doesn't want you popping other people's pimples. Partners when they do their back. I'm not into that.

I want to say yes, says Sophie, because I can't wait till I get home, but it is manky. Yeah. We can acknowledge that we're manky. Does my car at the lights, does in my car at the lights count as public, says Tash. We've settled on this. That's private property.

That's private, yeah. You go crazy. Lottie, why is this a question? What's in their head? Rocks. Seriously, don't pop pimples. And if you must, have clean hands and be near a sink. Yeah. Well, technically she was near a sink

She was right over a sink Just a sink that I was also washing my hands in Kat said, I've seen worse Yeah I know I want to know what's worse What she's seen that was worse Yeah, that's fair And Anya says, yes, but do it when no one is watching

If you've got a massive one begging to be popped And you just have to do it But not with a crowd More embarrassing to just leave it all white and pussy and go into a bathroom and come out of the bathroom and people can see you've had the option to get rid of that, but you've chosen to keep it like a pet.

Yeah. I know people that keep white heads, I'm just like... Never. Oh, come on. It's like my nails. As soon as they get to a certain length, I'm just like, well... And I chew onto them. They never get long. I pick my nails. As soon as they get to a certain length, I'm just like, well, and I chew on to them. Damn, we're all manky. They never get long.

I pick my knives. We're all manky. Yeah, we're all manky. Embrace the mank. That's today's mantra. Is that the mantra for 2025 as we enter the new year? Embrace the mank. Embrace the mank.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Well, no my, hi to my, to Carolyn Summer and Lennart Heitrich, who are two German tourists who are touring around the country in a camper van. Lovely. And they went to beautiful Rotorua, which if you are a German tourist, you simply must. It's a must.

It's one of the, you must goes. Yeah, it's one of the most beautiful places. Yeah. So on Saturday just gone, they were, what's with all the accents? Well you've got to pay off, you've got to use that degree that you paid $30 something thousand dollars for. The New Zealand one's too easy. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

On Sat D they went mountain biking in the forest nearby and their camper van was parked at the Waiper Forest campground. Right. So they had it parked there where it was broken into. Oh. Smashed.

I really hate when this happens to tourists because it just- I know, and then you're like, they have a sour memory of New Zealand and that's not really who we are. Yeah. Anyway, so it was broken in. The passenger side window absolutely shattered, like ransacked, I'll say, the camper van.

Yeah. You know, like a classic ransacking. Everything's tossed around. $7,000 worth of stuff was stolen, including a DSLR camera, two pairs of AirPods, prescription glasses, power banks, headlamps, expensive mountain bike parts. Their CD wallet.

And here's the list of every CD that was in there. They don't have the cases anymore, nor proof they purchased them, but that's what happens when cars get broken. 100%. Also, I just RAP'd to my Black Eyed Peas Ella Funk CD. That was in my CD player when it was stolen from my Mitsubishi Mirage.

You're still not letting that go. When did that happen? Years ago. No, no, no, no. Don't funk with my heart. I wonder if... Great. Great album.

And you never got that back? Never got it back. Wow. Now I have to listen to it digitally, you know, and not the CD. That was well-loved. It skipped during... I can't remember what song it was. Hey, Mama.

Get that... Hey, Mama. Mama. Mama. Anyway, I've moved on. Obviously. First aid kit, toiletry bags, $7,000 worth of. Mumma, mumma, mumma, mumma. Anyway, I've moved on. Obviously. First aid kit, toiletry bags, $7,000 worth of stuff was stolen, right? So luckily, passport and keys in a safe.

Oh, that's good. Is that the happy ending? Well, kind of the happy ending. The happy ending is that you may have heard that I mentioned two pairs of ear pods. Yes. Now, if you are an Apple person, as we all are, you know about Find My. Yeah.

And they would be registered to your Apple account where you can find your laptop, your phone, your watch, your ear pods on an app. And if there's any other iPhones or wireless nearby, Near them, they connect. It'll ping.

It'll ping. So the good news is they could track this person. And they went around the campsite being like, did anyone see this? Yeah. And they're like, no. And then someone was like, oh, my God, I saw them in this shirt. They had stolen one of the shirts from these tourists and was like wearing it,

carrying bags of their stuff. But luckily, because of this, they found them. They're like, here they are. Great. Took the information to the police. Police were like, we can't do anything about it. Okay, so nearly a happy ending. Nearly a happy ending. like, we can't do anything about it. Why? Okay, so nearly a happy ending? Nearly a happy ending.

Why can't the police do anything about it? Well, they're having, this is sort of the, this is why this couple's in the news, because they're a bit like, the German police would have acted on this. Been like, we went to them and said. The German police would have kicked down the door. Be like, we need to see your papers.

Give me the iPods. So, yes, surrender the iPods. We know they're here. They're in the attic, I know. Or are they in the basement? We will find them and we will take them. What if I knock on these walls? They're quite hollow.

Dark joke. Anyway. Very dark. Anyway, so they said, in Germany, if they went to them and said, here they are, look, it's moving around a map, the German police would have gone and found them and be like, hey, give us the AirPods. But New Zealand police were like... They know you are harbouring the AirPods.

That is a DLSR in the attic. That is it. But they're complaining that New Zealand police were like, well, it's not really official information. We need a warrant. This is why we would not have had a great dictatorship in the 30s. New Zealand. They're like, eh, no. If the German police had that sort of attitude in the 30s,

nothing would have got done. Well, nothing gets stuff done like going in the news. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I just want to prepare you guys for some cost cuttings that you may be facing when you go home for Christmas. Okay. A recent survey conducted by the Retirement Commission found that 37% of retirement-aged New Zealanders

believe that their financial situation has worsened and many are reducing social activities, buying less food, and skipping medical appointments to save money. Oh, no, that's really, that's awful. This has been like this for years because I haven't had anything from my grandparents for years. I have just the worst news to break to you.

What? They're dead. Oh, Vaughan, is that why I haven't been getting... Some of them, long dead. Is that why I haven't been getting some of them? Long dead. Is that why I haven't been getting my Christmas cash? Yeah, nanny.

Nanny gone. Nanny gone, babe. Nanny gone. But yeah, it's like... That makes me so sad. The idea that people would deprioritise health appointments. 26% said they'd missed

medical appointments and it was even more so with people who have a disability. Oh, God. That's bad, eh? That is bad. But as you say, when you're not earning... Mind you, I will say they voted for them.

They probably did. But when you're not earning, what you have is what you have. Yeah, and you've got to be really careful. Yeah, and the cost of living goes up, but your income doesn't. I mean, you get the pension and stuff. It'd be great if once you retired and you had got to be really careful. Yeah, and the cost of living goes up, but your income doesn't. I mean, you get a pension and stuff. It'd be great if once you retired and you had how much money you had, if you also had a death clock so you could work at a budget. I know, because...

Break, split it, split it over the remaining years. Yeah, if you were like 1065, you're like, all right, this is how much we've got. Yeah. You get all your KiwiSaver at 60. You have access to all of it. Let's assume I'm going to live to 80 and then someone lives to 95

the last 15 years no money and then someone dies in two weeks and never gets to enjoy the money they worked hard for this is why I'm all for we're not having kids Fletch who's going to sort that out for me do you know what I mean if I'm not sussed and I run out of funds

don't you expect me to give you some money whose mean? Yeah, I don't know. If I'm not sussed and I run out of funds... Don't you expect me to give you some money? Whose house? You're ten years older than me. You'll be dead. You'll be asking me for money. Yeah, but you have the liver of... Yes, this is true. Oh, what? You think yours is pristine? You think yours is

mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah? It's a little bit mwah, mwah, mwah. Also, the liver renews. Does it? Okay right But you have to give it a chance Soon We just wanted to manage expectations I mean God don't even expect anything from the grandparents I don't

I don't think there is anymore But I loved a card with a little note in there This Christmas across the board like was cost a living Yeah we don't know gifts Yeah It's not about the gifts in there. This Christmas across the board like with cost of living. Don't speak to any. It's not about the gifts. Can you put a price on your grandmother saying that that young Maori woman in parliament although she wouldn't pronounce it like that

really stepped out of line when she stood up and did the haka. All comments about all comments. What's the price on the feeling of those little fingers digging into your hips and being like oh girl you know. A bit squishier than last year girl. Can you put a price on your grandmother like looking at your beard and being like, oh, girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit squishier than last year, girl. Can you put a price on your grandmother, like, looking at your beard and then she says something about Al-Qaeda?

Can you put a price on that? What is the price? These are experiences and they're free. Well, we want to know this morning with, you know, the pinch for the seniors. Yes. How tight are your grandparents or parents? Maybe even your parents, yeah. Because my parents are nearly retirement age and definitely they've punished a bit harder.

Because they never go out for brunch like we do. Oh, Patsy does. She'll deal with that later. What retirement fund? No, your parents are the same age. I mean, go out for a coffee, but you don't go out for- We've got eggs at home. But when you go out for a coffee,

if you're paying $5 for it and it's not as hot as you'd like, you'll be sending it back because that's $5. You tell that waitress to heat it up. And I'll click it to let them know I'm ready to return my coffee. Tell that brown waitress, the brown one, excuse me, girl. I always remember my gran re-washing plastic bags. 100%.

And they used to sit behind the tap and dry inside out. And it's like, like no you can just get like a box of 100 Ziplocs and then just use a new one each time I loved how my grandparents lived though

they both had massive vegetable gardens they just like yeah what do you need to go out for that was like you know in that movie

The Castle where he's like why would you need to go out when you've got this at home Brace for little or no presents from the retired people in your life

because the New Zealand Retirement Commission says that pensioners are cutting back and they already cut back. So we want to know how tight are your parents or your grandparents are. Some funny stories coming through. So good. I think we can learn from these. Dude, I was just saying, if we had the budgetary minds of our grandparents, I think we'd all be better off.

With modern income. Yeah. If you went to war in a war, you'll learn all of that. I can't wait to be in a war. I don't want to go to war. Can I opt out of the war? I've got a bad back. I'll be fine, I reckon.

Yeah. I have a baby. That's the only thing that made me have a baby. A war. Childless woman, you're off to war. I'll be like, pregnant. I've got great news. You're too old for war.

What? Yeah, I know. Take it from a man who still believes he's capable of war. I'm too old. I'm not too old for war. I'd be like, I'm ready to sign up. They'd be like, dude, you're 42 years old with a bad back. We can't have you fighting for us.

Looking for fit young men? Here are ours. No, you'd be in the second draft when they run out of all the young ones. Yeah. And then they've got the bad back people. That's you. I'll be making scones. My friend in the UK, one of his work colleagues is in the territorial

and has been called up to full-time army. So that doesn't bode well, does it? No. Oh, God. Great time to be doing your OE in London. So I love this. My nanny used to buy budget Weet-Bix, but then put them in a sanitarium Weet-Bix box

because my pop would only eat the sanitarium ones. Oh, what? She tricked him. Got him. I'm sure they could afford them. She's just frugal. Yeah. Guys, I'm only 61, but I wash out plastic bags

and I try to reuse Ziploc bags. That's the thing about a Ziploc bag. It's made of too high a quality for a single use. Yeah, it is. That's what I always say. Give it a rinse and... Good for screws. Write on it what's been in it and then just only put that back in it.

Like the big one for the dog roll. Okay, we're not in World War II. Calm down. There's new ones in the box. Sometimes I reuse rubbish liners. What? If it's not smelly. No, there's new ones in the box. Sometimes I reuse rubbish liners. What? If it's not smelly. No, it's got bin juice in it.

It's got bin juice in it. I use the corn flour ones, and they're already half eaten through by the time you get it to the bin. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't like those. They're awful. Yeah. My parents have never used their dishwasher

because somebody told them it uses more water than just running it in the sink. And it heats up the water itself. Yeah. Dishwashers have got a heating element in it, eh? Come on, you never have to do the dishes. Yeah. Let's go to Candice. Candice, this is your mum.

Hi. What does she do? Since I was little, she's always filled up the hand soap and the dishwashing liquid with water to make it last. Oh, yes. Makes it a bit runnier, but it still cleans the hands. Yeah, but you'll end up using way more. Yeah, she just never, it just irritates me so much. And recently she came over from South Africa to visit,

and she did it to all my water. I mean, all my dishwashing liquid and all that. She added water. She watered down all your soaps. No, no, no. You don't go into someone else's house and water down their soaps. And even worse, my youngest child, she showed him how to do it. And the other day, I went over to the bathroom and I pressed the soap.

And I said, what happened? Who filled this with water? And she said, oh, it was me. Sorry. Granny said that's the best way when it's raining loads. Oh my gosh. You know, she's re-taught your children. A phone-in conversation for another day should be, when did your mother or mother-in-law

make themselves too comfortable in your home? Yeah, you know, they all trying to make themselves comfortable. Candice, just while you're here, just before you go, would you mind giving us a critique of Hayley's South African accent? Have you heard it before, Candice? I have, actually. Because I'll only ever water down my soap if I'm at the end of it, you know. Yeah.

It sounds a bit too posh though. No, I know. No, Candice, you've got quite a posh South African accent as well. I can only do, like I'm from, is it Janisburg?

Because I've got... Janisburg. You see, I'm an English South African. Right. So he is a different. Yeah, right. My father was English,

but he'd lived in South Africa for quite a long time. What do you do with the car when you're finished with it? A pocket. A pocket. I'll park the car. Park the car. Candice, thank you.

Goodbye, darling. Some messages in. My mum will reuse tea bags five times. If you go to throw one out, she'll absolutely lose her shit about it. Five times. It must be like someone took a little pee-pee in your cup after the end. My mother-in-law's a teabag

dipper. She doesn't leave it. You bring it out and you can see she's like, Aaron's parents do the cup of tea, goddammit, Robin, drink it! But rather than make a freshie, they'll just nuke the thing and then let it go cold and then nuke it, you know? They just constantly...

You don't want to waste. For my 20th birthday, my father gave me a 20 cents off a litre of fuel voucher as my only present for a petrol station that was on the other side of town to where I lived. So you would have lost the 20 cent discount going to the other side of town. He is somewhat of a wealthy man. Yeah, but that's why he's wealthy. Yeah.

Yeah. These are great tips. We want to know how tight your parents and grandparents are I'll allow him My father-in-law doesn't own a washing machine Ask me how he washes his clothes

In your washing machine? No, either in the sink or on his body in the shower Next question He is worth so much money by a washing machine I said to him I was like

Are you going to get a washing machine? He's like I just don't see it And then if he's got sheets he'll just bring them to our place It's literally like the reverse teenager You know when you go to your a washing machine? He's like, I just don't see it. And then if he's got sheets, he'll just bring them to our place. It's literally like the reverse teenager. You know when you go to your parents' place and you take your washing?

Yeah. Hey, Mom. Thump. Yeah, big two sacks. Yeah, yeah. My grandma hates waste. She'll cut open the empty toothpaste and shave the end of it. That just makes sense.

That's what I do in our house because everybody's just like, it's empty. I suck it. Cut it, and then you just run your tooth. No, I squeeze it. I'll squeeze sense. That's what I do in our house because everybody's just like, it's empty. I suck it. Cut it and then you just run your tooth. No, I squeeze it and I suck the hole and I go, to get the last of it out. Yeah. I've never thought about that. Yeah, you just do it. Cut it open though you get some more.

And sunscreen at the bottom of the pump because it never gets all, so I cut that open and get fingers in there. Oh, sunscreen's expensive. This grandma also uses towels that are 30 centimetres by 30 centimetres because she doesn't want to use the good ones. What? She uses a flannel. A flannel to wipe herself down.

Slightly big flannel to dry off. Yeah. Because she's like, well, the good ones are the good ones. I'm not replacing the good ones by me using them all the time. And they never use the good ones. I know. Why do they have nice ones? They never use them. I know, because you go to their house and you don't they never use the good ones. Why do they have nice ones? They never use them. I know, because

you go to their house and you don't get to use the good ones. You're using the threadbare ones that are like pink. Do we buy them pink? It's Christmas coming up. Mum will bust out the nice cutlery that she's had forever. But they don't use it all the time. Nah. It would last forever. Dude, it's made of like, God knows what.

She gets out silver and cleans it and then you can taste that on Christmas. You can taste the Silvo. Yeah. Creaky Galley and Louise, who's a recent but recently regular contributor to the show. She just said her mother, who departed this year aged 91, wore nightgowns to absolute threadbare situations,

but had kept two in pristine condition since the 1990s that were saved for should she need to go to hospital. Never mind the fact that there are hospital gowns at hospital that they insist you wear for access and stuff. But no, she'd kept, rather than using them, she'd kept them because one time she's going to need them for when she goes to hospital. So the towels that this nana was using, the 30 by 30 centimetres,

they're old, old towels that have been ripped into smaller towels. Save on washing, though. That's probably a good... You're like, is this one towel? Or, chip, chip, chip, is it now three? Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. What's your jobby? What's your jobby?

What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? We try to guess your job. Three questions and then if we can guess it, you win $100 cash. Last one of the year. Yeah, Jada, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Oh, cheery. I'm going to ask the uniform question because I think it's such a good one.

Helps us. Do you wear a uniform for work? No, no uniform. Jada sounds so cheery, the kind of disposition that you need to have to work with children. Do you know what I mean? Or hasn't been. But if it's primary school, she might sound cheery because this is the start of her big holiday because most schools have wrapped.

Yeah, but also could be cheery because she hasn't been worn down by customers. Yeah, yeah, like she's self-employed. No, see, she doesn't work in retail. No, God, no. No, no, she'd be like, no. I think I'm going to ask and I'll leave you with the final question, Vaughan. Jada, do you work with children?

No, I don't work with children. No children, no uniform. Yeah. Jesus, there's a whole wide world. That's hard, isn't it? Yeah. Probably a silly question from you, to be honest, no uniform. Yeah. Jesus, there's a whole wide world. That's hard, isn't it? Yeah. Probably a silly question from you, to be honest, Hayley. No, I thought it was a really good question.

Jada, do you have what would be classed as a physical job? No, no, not physical. Okay, so we've got to make an absolute stab in the dark here. Okay, we've let ourselves not to a dead end. No uniform. It's got to be something office-based, maybe? we've let ourselves not to a dead end. No uniform. It's got to be something office-based maybe? Yeah, I think she's

a personal assistant. Yeah, and she wouldn't be outside. Like farming would be physical. Yeah, it's not an outside job. Okay, we're at a desk. You think she's a law clerk? Don't answer it, Jada. That's so specific.

She might be a lawyer. What about just an office worker? That's too broad, isn't it?ada That's so specific She might be a lawyer What about just an office worker That's too broad isn't it Why is she so happy I Maybe she's got morning tea today Whenever we do this I never People have said to me

Why do you go like Personal assistant Rather than the executive That they assist Oh do you think That you're being I always like think Smart people

Really wouldn't have too much To gain from this show No and also like CEOs go to work At like 5am Yeah yeah yeah Like I don't know think smart people wouldn't have too much to gain from this show. No, and also CEOs go to work at 5am and they, I don't know. They consider this juvenile and delinquent. Or they're on a yacht. Yeah, they wouldn't call up Fletch, Fall and Hayley, would they?

They certainly wouldn't. Okay, so you want to know, you think Jada is a personal assistant. An executive assistant. Executive assistant. Jada, is your job that of An executive assistant. Executive assistant. Okay. Okay, Jada, is your jobby

that of an executive assistant? No, no, it's not. Are we close? Um, yeah, it is office day.

What's your jobby? I'm an accountant. Oh! Why didn't we say accountant? Now, this whole tax palaver. How do we get our pay? We're doing that every year? That's still just like opt in, opt out, right?

Yeah. She loves it. Got it. We love it. Thanks, Jada. Thank you, Jada. Sorry that I'm unable to help you out there with $100. Good luck with the end of the financial year next March. Let's try Kaylee. Good morning, Jada. Sorry that I'm unable to help you out there with $100. Good luck with the end of the financial year next March.

Let's try Kayleigh. Good morning, Kayleigh. Morning. Okay. All right. She sounds young. She sounds vibrant. Yeah.

First question for you. Do you work in an office? Yes. Do you work? Office. Do you? Mostly. I do travel a bit.

Oh! Sales rep. Sales, sales. Marketing. Marketing. Franchise. Sales. Sales.

Okay, do something about sales. Yeah, you go for one. You go for one. You go for one. What about, do you have KPIs? Yeah, I was going to say budgets. Do you have targets? Yeah, do you have KPIs? Yeah, I was going to say budgets. Do you have targets? Yeah, do you have targets?

No way, everyone has targets. Oh, she doesn't have targets. She doesn't have targets. Okay, not sales. So an office-based job with no targets, we're just hanging around. This sounds like a great job. It sounds like your management

need to put some targets up for you. Sounds like you need some KPIs because that's what drives us. Yeah, KPIs. We're just KPIs. You should see our KPIs this year. Oh my God. Tickety tickety tick tick tick.

Okay. So she's got an aimless job. No target, no goal, nothing to reach. She's in this office. She sounds happy though. She does.

That's the key to happiness. I'm not adhering to a corporate structure. I just want to narrow us down to an industry. Office based, but she travels a bit. That was a little tidbit we got. Yeah. Do you think she works for like a freight company?

Oh, she could work in logistics. You know when we went to the freight? Do you work in the area of... Logistics. Logistics. No, you're way off. Okay. You've really gone down there. Okay, see, you're way off. Okay.

You've really gone down there. Okay, see, we've got a guess now. Kayleigh, are you a vet nurse? No. Oh! Excuse me, consult the group. Consult the group. Consult the group. They generally were a uniformed nurse.

That's Kelet, Siobhan and Hayley. What's your job, Kayleigh? I'm a social worker working with youth. Oh! What a job, what a job. What a job, eh? What a'm a social worker working with youth. Oh! What a job. What a job. What a jobby. What a job.

It's not my money. Let's just give you the $100 for Christmas for doing such a great job. Oh, thanks. Kayleigh, if someone was looking to make a donation to a charity that would assist this area at this time... Or donate the $100 to the charity. What would they be...

Let's give it to Kayleigh. What would they... What's the best one? What's a good one? Who should we donate to that's got the Kayleigh ticket approval? I'm not sure, actually. Yeah, because you don't want to see.

Kayleigh, I'm trying to sound like a really nice guy here. But you're not. You're a prick. You're a prick. That's why I'm going to try so hard. It's not working. Okay, I think we can't give it to her. We can't give it to her.

We can't give her the $100, but let's give the $100 to Youthline. That's the 24-7 counselling on the phone. Is that a good one, Kayleigh? Is that a good one, Kayleigh? Done. Done. And then the money's gone. Kayleigh, you get nothing.

Just to clarify, Kayleigh, you're not seeing a cent of this. She's a social worker. She's not doing this for money. Okay, just making sure Kayleigh knows. Not in this country. She'd be doing it somewhere else. Yeah.

Should we send Kaylee a calendar? Yeah Motivational quotes Next to horses calendar Oh my gosh yes please She's like that's all I wanted A runner up competition We've run out of time

It is weird how She's not bummed about Missing out on the money But she's stoked to get that calendar Because it's going I really wanted that calendar Kaylee you get the calendar We've run out of time

For What's Your Job So we're ending 2024 With a loss No we're not It's a win For everybody But it's a win Because your phone's're going to give a... It's a win for everybody. But it's a win. Because your client's getting 100 bucks.

Yeah, exactly. But it's a win. Great. Fantastic. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Did you enjoy wearing the B-suit, Fletch? It was fun.

I got to wear Vaughan's B-suit. Yeah. It's good. It's good. It's good. So Justin Timberlake, not a great year for him, I'll say. He got the DUI. Oh yeah, that's right. Now he's on the tour that the DUI

was going to ruin the tour. Yeah, the tour went ahead. It's fine. But in Nashville last night, he was performing and he, in one of the moments of his tour, he gets kind of hoisted up on a harness to let it fly around. Think Pink on a much to like fly around. Okay.

Think pink on a much smaller and lamer scale. Yeah. People could not look away from the fact that when he has the harness, he's wearing these like slacks. Yeah. And as the harness lifts him, you know how a harness goes when you like bungee or something, you put them on like a sort of strappy pair of undies. Yeah. And it all bunches.

Bunches up. Yeah. We saw a lot. Okay. Of Justin undies. Yeah, and it all bunches. Bunches up. Yeah. We saw a lot. Okay. Of Justin last night. And he's tugging. He's trying to cover it, but it really captured the phallus. It really sort of all snagged around the phallus,

and we saw the shape of the thing. Yeah, that's like a worker's or like an abseiling harness. Yeah. Okay. Sexy fly around your show harness. No, no. You know when this happens and it kind of ends up grabbing more. There's lots more fabric in the whole package.

Whereas for him, it really looks like it was just the diddle. Do you know what I mean? It's like really isolated there. And it's gone viral and everyone's like, okay. Everyone just can't stop laughing at it. It's so funny. I wanted to know when, because this because he obviously wasn't anticipating this happening, when were your bits and pieces on display?

Maybe it was like- Accidentally. Accidentally. Yeah. You didn't realise your junk was out. You've slipped a nip. Your bits were out. Yeah.

And you exposed a little bit too much of yourself than you ever expected. I mean, surely it's happened to all of us at some stage, right? Oh, we've had a slip. I mean, men in summer with their shorts and their man's bread. Well, you always wear undies with the shorty shorts. People don't. You know?

They don't. They really don't. Always. It's too hot. Oh, really? Yeah. You can't be risking that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is what I want to know this morning. 0800 dial ZM, text 9696. When were your bits and pieces on display? Perhaps by surprise. Maybe you walked out of the house and you forgot your undies. Oh, my God. Justine Smith. Comedian Justine Smith tells a great story about stepping on a maxi dress.

You know, like a stretchy maxi dress. And as you stepped, boom. The whole thing comes down. Flip, poop. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Awesome. Great messages coming in.

When was your junk on display? Perhaps by surprise. Yeah. Justin Timberlake harnessed himself and went flying above the crowd and it really just wrapped around

his member. And we saw... It's given the internet the yuck. Internet's a bit icked. Repires when we asked on the gram. A young lady says, when I was running for my trainer, my tit fell out of my bra. So elegantly

put. Brandy said, my work doing my dress ripped a hole in the butt. I hope my sis was the only one who saw Because she was the one that told me it had happened Ripped a hole in the butt Ash down a big slide at a water park No

Bikini top Departed And didn't realise until people were pointing At the girls What do you do if you're wearing a bikini And you want a hydra slide? Do you just not? Or do you just hold it?

You've got to hold on. Hold your brother Jim. Right. The last time I went, when I went to that Barley Bomb place, I wore a one-piece. Yeah. It's the only way.

Yeah, you have to wear a one-piece. And if you're wearing a bikini, you're wearing a cover, not a string. And guys, you have to extra tighten the shorts. Yeah, they're coming string. And guys, you have to extra tighten the shorts. Oh, yeah. They're coming off.

Hole says it was a Zoom call with over 100 fellow colleagues where I exposed myself. No. Accidentally. How? You always saw those stories like during the start of lockdown and stuff. Oh, you're coming out of the shower and then the meeting started. You're like.

And they didn't know their partner was on a Zoom. Oh, God. Let's take some calls. Danielle, when did you accidentally show your bits? Hi, guys. I fell down the stairs at the Taylor Swift concert and I had a mini skirt on and it ended up over my head and I only had a G-string on underneath.

Oh, for God's sake. Danielle, no. In which case, you might as well just be wearing nothing. Wait, but when you fell down the stairs, what was your end position? How did you end when the fall stopped? Where were you at? I was on all fours. Oh, no.

There were children at that concert. Yeah, where was the concert? In Vancouver. Oh, okay. So at least it wasn't like... In New Zealand? Yeah. So you don't know anyone there?

Yeah, but someone's filmed it. You know it's on the internet and I think you'll live knowing it's out there. Oh my God, the anxiety thinking that you could be some kind of... Someone has footage of that. Someone has footage of that. Danielle, thank you.

Cindy, when did you accidentally show your bits? Well, it was a long time ago. I was 13 and thank God there was no internet or opportunity to video it. At a big concert, it's called the World Series of Rocks. This was in the 80s and a hundred thousand people in the Milwaukee Brewers Stadium and me and a group of friends decided to jump the fence, which was like a cyclone fence. Had corduroys on.

When I hit the ground, the ass of my pants was hanging up on the fence. Oh, no. That line, the ass of my pants. The ass of my pants. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. So you accidentally flashed everybody?

No, it was screaming. The car park was screaming with people. They all saw my butt. But wait, Cindy, you've gone to all this effort to get into the concert. Did we just carry on and enjoy the concert or did we have to leave? Oh, look, I'm a really, really nice guy. You know, this young 13-year-old girl is sitting there with all her bits hanging out, and some nice guy comes up and says,

Sweetheart, here's my jacket. Oh, champion. Happy ending. Cindy, we're going to hook you up with today's caller of the day. Thanks to the warehouse. We've got a $50 warehouse voucher for you. Oh, my God. I also love that this happened in the 80s and I think she thinks about it daily.

And I'm Milwaukee. Yeah, I traumatized PTSD from that first. Yeah, totally. Cindy, well done. Cindy, go the Bucs. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Go the Bucs.

Is that your team? Oh, you're right. It is. I'm Milwaukee Bucs. Also, so congratulations on the $50 warehouse voucher for you. Today's dazzling deal is 50% off all candles and home fragrance.

My God. Oh, no. My nipple was out at my school ball in a photo taken by a photographer, which was then posted all over the school's Facebook. What? So nobody saw it until it was posted? Sometimes they're surprising nipples. Do you know what I mean?

And then you go, wait, hang on a sec. It's like, do you know when guys do this all the time? They pop a ball out of the fly. Yeah, yeah. And you think it's a nice family photo or a nice photo of the group. And you're like, oh, Fletch. When we had our first ball, my husband was so excited. He couldn't wait to share a picture with everyone.

Friends, family, everyone. I got out of surgery. I saw the picture. It was a beautiful picture of me and our daughter and my titties and my bits. Oh, no. He's excited. He was just focused on the baby.

Yeah, he didn't even see them. He didn't notice everything else. We're swimming with the dolphins with my new sister-in-law. Now, I've got a question. Is your sister-in-law a dolphin? Because it kind of sounds like- Can we get clarification, please? Yeah, so we're not allowed to swim with dolphins anymore

unless it's in the natural wild. Yeah. As I took the wetsuit off my triangle bikini top, moved aside and my boobies were out. Worst part is I didn't even realise as I was numb with the cold from the water. My testicle hung out for at least three heats of backstroke. Oh, they got a Speedo.

How loose were the Speedos? In the intermediate swimming competition. This memory lives rent-free in my head. A lot of people wear a couple of pairs of Speedos. You've got to keep it tight and aerodynamic. Was breastfeeding and the courier rocked up at this stage and gotten so used to breastfeeding that when they answered, I'd forgotten that my boob was completely hanging out.

Just took the package, signed for it. I think the courier driver liked that. Just one minute. Busy Christmas church service. Okay, go ahead. Stood on my dress on the way up to receive communion and it made me trip over and I brown-eyed the entire congregation. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. That's really good stuff. That's good stuff. I took a photo of her and I brown-eyed the entire congregation.

That's good stuff. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. That's really good stuff. That's good stuff. Pulled a Tara Reid in a sundress at a barbecue. Oh, my God, that's a callback. Do you remember when she was on the red carpet and her boob was hanging at the side and she had no idea? She was so out of it.

Yeah. Is that why we use the tape, hey? Yeah. She said, but at least it was my best boob. I was hanging out. Is there a best boob? Do you have a best one? My right one's sort of odd.

It's got real attitude problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The left one's like, come with me. We're up here. The right one's like, no, I'm sad. Okay. Last night, someone said, last night I jumped out of the cold water after a chilly swim with my new board shorts,

pretty much look like a vacuum sealed sausage. You know when they go When you get out of a pool guys always have to pull it otherwise it's literally it's like it's been shrink wrapped. Classic walk back

to the beach town after being dumped by waves already really embarrassed that I'd been smashed by some surf. Yep. Halfway up, I realised I had a titty out. Oh no. Yeah.

Hubby had a hip replacement. Remember, I've done this. Hubby had a hip replacement post an image of the scan on Facebook being like, oh, it looks like I need a new hip.

Did not realise you could see the entire outline of his boys. Who was the tennis player? Andy Murray did that as well. So funny. Everyone was like, the whole internet was like, dude, we can totally see that.

Yep. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Pretty soon we're going to talk about my new addiction. It's nothing bad. Don't worry. It's not a bad vice. It's not like meth or white chocolate Tim Tams out of the freezer. I would have assumed him a meth man, you know,

if he was going to get addicted to something. This is, look, it it's delicious I'll say that we'll talk about it soon it's next but now right now time for fact of the day day day day

day do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Today's Fact of the Day in Christmas week is about the effect that Charles Dickens had on a modern Christmas. How we like think about Christmas. The famous writer. My mum's friends with his great great granddaughter.

I thought you were about to say my mum's friends with him. I was like, hon, she's lying to you. He long dead. He long dead. Yeah. So he wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843, which has been redone and retold a million different ways. Greatest performance of it I've ever seen.

Ray Henwood, Die's late father. Very moving. As a one different ways. Greatest performance of it I've ever seen, Ray Henwood, Die's Late Father. Very moving. As a one-man play? Yeah, he used to do it at Circa Theatre in Wellington every year, Ray Henwood. It was amazing. He'd sit there in an armchair and tell the story. It was incredible.

Wow. I was going to say, recently, the modern retelling was Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell was really good. What was that called? Something. Scrooge. There's been animated versions of it.

It's the classic story of a bad guy who's got heaps of money, but he doesn't want to share. The Grinch. Christmas Grinch. No. The Grinch that stole Christmas. No. It's not that one.

Okay. It's the ghost of Christmas past and Christmas present and Christmas future. And he sees what his life's going to be like. And it's like an awakening. And he wrote this story. Right. So one of the famous imageries of it is London having a white Christmas. Now, in my mind, I always thought that was a thing.

And you know who else is to blame? Bridget Jones. But. She's running down the street. And it's a white Christmas. Yeah. Very, very, very rarely does London have a white Christmas. In fact, they put it down to the fact that Charles

Dickens, during his childhood and when he was writing A Christmas Carol, Europe was in what was known as a little ice age. Where winters were particularly harsher and there were significant snowfalls around that time. However, very

uncommon in modern times to have snowfall, unless it's one of those freak storms that rolls through. Yeah, yeah. But Europe has a lot of snow. London, very, very rare to have a white Christmas. Interesting. Yeah, because I was there one Christmas, and it was like a nice day. Just like cold.

Miserable. Yeah, just like, ugh. Like a grey London day. And the sun comes up real late and goes down real early, right? Yeah, that's it. It's like a grey time. But in our minds, you real late and goes down real early, right? It's like a grey time. But in our minds, you might be expecting a white Christmas. Yeah, very much so.

No, very, very rare. But if he did experience them during his childhood and when he was writing this was due to a European little ice age where there were significantly colder ones. Also, apparently the idea of charity and generosity had not really been a thing, but the whole story of A Christmas Carol is that the man

with a lot should help the people without with a little. It wasn't an overly popular thing at the moment. Spending time with family and togetherness and having the time off from work, because in the story you know, the poor people kind of have to keep working. Yeah. The spirit of Christmas, you know like, that's really embodying the spirit of Christmas is

based on the three spirits that visit them. Past, present and future. Vodka. Turkey. Turkey and seasonal treats. Vodka is the preferred because it goes, is that eggnog's chosen? Is eggnog rum or vodka? I don't know.

It's feral. It's really gross. It's real creamy. It's rich. It's eggy. It's real creamy. It's rich. It's eggy. Yeah, it's an eggy drink. So like rich foods like turkey and treats and stuff hadn't really been. I'm going to be honest.

It sounds like Christmas back then was lame. You know, Charles Dickens really kind of wrapped it up and made it cool. I read another article that said in the 1500s, Christmas was like wild party time. Oh, okay. Vodka. Wild, wild party time. One of the spirits. Where they did it.

So, yeah, so Christmas as we kind of see it, fairy tale Christmas. Yes. Storybook Christmas. Looking through a snowy window. Yeah. In London especially isn't a thing. It was all BS. It was all BS because Charles Dickens grew up in the time of a little ice age.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Stop eating the fudge, Georgia, do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Stop eating the fudge, Georgia, because Fletch wants you to try something. Yes. Now, I did say I've got a new addiction, and I know, obviously, it's not an actual addiction.

An addiction is a serious thing. I jest. Of course. I jest. But I did find myself yesterday, after going to the hygienist, I got the teeth water blasted. You know, just to get rid of the coffee, all the early morning coffees. I saw my teeth yesterday. I need another round. It's good. And it's like the, you know,

it's amazing. It's so good. Sandblaster. Yeah. And they said I did real good at flossing. That's good. I always like to hear that. He has been flossing every day. Do you see? I did real good. What did you do with your tongue? And I was thinking the whole time, I was thinking of you, Vaughn,

because I was like, my tongue's just sitting there. Mine just sits there. It's out of the way. Like that. No, don't put it out. Why do you poke your tongue out? Put your tongue back in your mouth. Do you have a problem with this, Georgia,

at the dentist, where to put your tongue? No, you just let it hang. You let it out. You just leave it there. Just down. You guys didn't consider it. I'm just trying to make the job the easiest. You literally were told off for putting your tongue in the way.

No, I said. No, no, no. I said. No, they laughed because I was doing. Every time they went to one area, my tongue would go. Start to the opposite. Right. Well, it was when I was just getting the hygiene.

That's what you should do every six months. Every six months. Six months. You get the compliment about your flossing. It's like a warrant, mate. You just don't until there's a problem. I've got like, I think a year and a half ago was my last go. Oh my God, I go every six months.

Yeah, it's good. It's so good. It's good. You and me, huh? But then your teeth are a little sensitive for a couple of days because they've got rid of all the furry goodness. Yeah, I do like a little furry coat. Yeah, yeah.

Just to keep them warm. Okay, so I was leaving the dentist and I go to Custom Street Dentist and Tony there is the guy that runs it. It's his place. Yeah, I've seen him once. And he gave me a little Christmas present. He's like, thank you so much.

And I was like, you did not have to do that. And it was full of toothpastes. Yuck. Is that the plural? Yeah, just toothpastes. Toothpie. Toothpiece. Yeah, toothpie.

Including all these different flavours of... High Smile. I hate it. It's High Smile. I've never used it. I know your girls love it. Yeah, I don't know who got it, but they love it. They love it.

They always are like, I'm out of High Smile. You've been using my High Smile. When I was looking around the room, I could see there was a Chupa Chups have done a collab with them and there's a Cola one. And I was like, what? Just how you want to start the day. Cola there was a Chupa Chups have done a collab with them and there's a cola one. And I was like, what? Just how you want to start the day.

Cola is the only acceptable Chupa Chup. What do you mean you can brush your teeth with like Chupa Chup? I, cause I, There's no sugar in there. If it gets kids brushing their teeth, I'm all for it.

And so I got the ice pop one, which is like a bubble gum one. And then I like brush, as soon as I got home, I was like, I'm going to try the bubble gum one. I brushed my teeth and I was like oh my god. Give me a squirt on my finger because I brought it in.

Now Georgia hasn't tried this. Pass it over to Georgia. I want you to try this. So I brushed my teeth with it and then like I was like every time I went into the bathroom I just put a little bit on my finger and I was like yum. Because I stayed the night at my best friend's house and she's got kids Vaughn's age

and I went, I just, Vaughn's age? She's got a 42 year old child. I totally missed that. Mummy, I had a really bad nightmare. She's like gone.

I think that's called a kink, not a child. Vaughn's kids age and I didn't even think, I just picked up what I thought was the toothpaste. It happened to be yellow and I was like I don't know

and it was her daughter's it was banana oh yeah was it Minions because the Minions had a banana flavour did you like it Georgia I don't

this is weird because this feels like I just took a little bit in it feels like it's minty but there's a weird aftertaste man it's medicine

it's like it's what they describe the skies whatever in medicine that just but like do you remember as a kid

like having medicine and you'd be like that was real young there was pink diarrhea medicine Pamel Pamel orange and strawberry

flavoured Pamel yeah there would be times when my kids would just come in they'd be denied a lot of snack and my kids would come into the kitchen

and be like I've got a headache I need a Pamel you just want the orange flavour I know it's wild but now I'm just like every time I was in the bathroom and be like, I've got a headache, I need a pamel. No, you don't. You just want the orange flavour. I know. It's wild. But now I'm just like, every time I was in the bathroom,

I was like, little squirt for me. Someone just texted, you're so late, there's been around for ages. I know. I know. We're growing adults.

We don't brush our teeth with candy floss flavoured. No, but I... And you're just trying the cola. That's disgusting. I never knew this was a thing. The bubble gum is legit, though. Cola is minging.

That is so gross. Shannon, as soon as I got into work this morning at 5am, I was like, Shannon, do you want to try my toothpaste? Ooh. And you love the bubble gum. Yeah, we went in for seconds. That's yum stuff. It's not a snack.

The only thing I was, is I like brushing my teeth so I stop eating. Like at night time, I'm like, snacks done. Brush teeth. If I had this, I'd just keep eating lollies then. Oh, far out. I can't believe I finally found this. That colour is so intense. What I will say is this is better than that yucky stuff that people get that have nothing.

What's that one where there's no mint? What do they mean? And it just... Oh, like natural toothpaste. Yeah, natural toothpaste. And it's just like... Mud. Yeah, it's literally... It's no mint. What do they mean? And it just... Oh, like natural toothpaste. Yeah, natural toothpaste. And it's just like... Mud. Yeah, it's literally...

It's like mud. There's nothing afterwards, so you may as well have just continued eating because it's so mangan. That's good, though. Somebody said, I got mango last Christmas and it genuinely made me want to vomit.

And then somebody else said, Fletch, you would love the red velvet flavor. Like, you could say... This is not... This is a problem. I have a sweet tooth and so like now I've found these toothpastes I'm like, oh God, it's over. Surely on it, because this will be you, you'll go

home this weekend and you'll be like, little square. And you'll be like, little square, little square. And then you'll be like, I've had half the tube. We shouldn't be eating toothpaste. The good news is because you've been like all about whole foods and not highly processed foods. This has got such natural ingredients as glycerin, sorbitol, hydrated silica, external of the blood.

Yeah, but you don't look at the ingredients on toothpaste. You're not swallowing it. Yes, you are. You have been munching on this all morning. Pflantothin, dioxin, catheteric acid. Yeah, that's great stuff. It sounds delicious. I'll give it, it's hit the back of the throat.

Yeah, it has. It's hit that pretty good, eh? Yeah. And like, it's fresh back there. Cheap. Yeah, cheap. Great review from Georgia. Yeah, really great review.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. I regret not doing this in the days in which men would frequent my flat. Right, well you've had plenty of tradies over. This is true. You could have done this. You could have done this. I could have done this. Because it's anyone that visits your house. Well, she's done it more with people who have come over for a little bit of adult fun time.

Okay. But I suppose you could do this. Right. This is a girly. This has gone viral. Yeah. I saw this yesterday and it really tickled me. And so I screenshotted it.

Now we're talking about it. So she, whenever a gentleman comes over to her house to hang out with her, before anything happens, she takes a cute little selfie with a Polaroid camera. You know the ones, if you don't know, or Instax. Print immediately. Yeah, you print it out, yeah. And then she puts them up on this grid. And on her wall is a grid of every fella who has visited the house.

Okay, well, even the other guys can see this? Okay, so he's not hiding it in another room. Okay, no shame. And she was like, it's a fun way of looking back and being like, hee, hee, hee, you know, I'm just living my best life. But as you say, it could be anyone who enters the home. So she's got them all on this grid,

but what you'll notice is there's some holes in the grid. There's like some gaps in the photos. And then she pans around to the room where she has boy jail. And she has some photos behind some sort of like straps, like bars. And you get put in boy jail if you, and she has some criteria. So she'll remove your photo from the wall after the visit. And she'll put you in boy jail where you shall remain forevermore and never be invited back to the house.

Okay. If you made her cry. If you made her cry. If you were rude to her. Okay. If you were unpleasant to her flatmates. Yeah. Basically, if you were a bit of a D-bag,

you get in boy jail. Right. Now, wouldn't this be a great way of documenting your lovers, the people that come over to your house. Your friends. Your friends. It could literally be anyone.

You could put your friends in friend jail? Do you know what? This would be such a fun idea if you were throwing a house party. Say you were having a big New Year's party that's coming up, and you had 50 people there. And as they enter, you could take a photo with you, with them being like, hey, start of the night. And at the end of the night, if anyone broke something, was rude, got

belligerent, yeah, drunk too much, you know caused too much noise, stick them in jail. And that it's a great way of remembering the night and being like those are the naughty ones of New Year's, you shall not be getting invited. Can you get out of party jail? Maybe you could get out of party jail.

You can't get out of boy jail. I hope those boy jails are done. They're done. Okay. Once you're in boy jail, that's a life sentence. Yeah, these are your friends, though, at your party. If it was your party, you could be like, hey, just letting you know you are in party jail.

Yeah, let's kind of work on our behaviour going forward. And I'm happy to move you back. Because as we know, behaviour at parties only gets better as it gets closer to midnight. Really? You're saying they can try to get out of the party. They're getting out of the party jail at the same party that put them in jail. I think once you're in party jail for that party, it's done.

You've got to earn that trust back at future events. But maybe for future events, you'd be like, you'd go to your party jail. You'd look at it and be like, okay. You're on party parole. You're on party parole. But if you end up back in party jail, you shall never be invited to another party. Like three strikes.

Three strikes. Can you put me in party solitary confinement so I just don't have to come? Yeah, yeah. So there's my party wall, then there's party jail, and then there's party solitary confinement, which is just a Polaroid of Vaughan.

And the tank. Yeah, cool. Yeah, but you have to come to the party in order for me to get the Polaroid. Ah, I don't want to. Can I just send you one? Send me a Polaroid. You, but you have to come to the party in order for me to get the Polaroid. I don't want to. Can I just send you one? Send me a Polaroid. Are you printing it off your phone?

I'll just send you a photo and you print it like I'm doing. Because you work in the media, what I'll do is I'll Google a photo of you. I'll print it out. I'll hold it next to me and then I'll put you in solitary confinement. Perfect. Thank you. Officially not coming to New Year's. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners.

You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in to you, podcast listener. You've reached the end. So, I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So, drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.