ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th February 2024

Episode Date: February 18, 2024

Top 6: AI Boyfriend  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan at Pride   Hayley's Sleep Divvy  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Monday. Guys, I didn't go out this weekend, really. No, you didn't.

I did a gig on Friday night. But that, you know, I drove and sort of was a bit of work. Yeah, you worked all weekend. I worked all weekend and then Saturday I didn't do anything. I just sort of hung out with a friend in the afternoon for a little bit. Bizarre. Do you feel different? I feel I might be a bit of a punish this week to you two

because socially I didn't fill my cup. Right. Okay, so we're going to have to fill it for you. I need physical touch. I need affirmations. I need fun. I need stimulation. I need dopamine.

See, I didn't have that sort of weekend, so I'm not going to be able to provide any of the required. Your cup is empty. My cup. Yeah, I'm empty too. But my cup's empty. Well, it's a three empty cup show. Oh God.

Oh God. On the way, the top six. Apparently people are falling in love with their AI chatbots. Yeah, like personalising their AI assistants and then obviously they've personalised them and then they've fallen in love with them.

Wasn't this Her? The film Her with Joaquin Phoenix? And Scarlett Johansson's voice? Yes. Very unusual film. But wasn't that actually a robot or was that an actual? No, it was not. It was in the computer, right?

It was in the computer, okay, right. You're getting mixed up with Lars and the real girl. That's right. Which is just a sex doll. Yeah, there's a robotic aspect to it. It's like Lars and the realirl Girl meets Wall-E. Okay. That's where you're getting confused.

With a little Bicentennial Man in the mix. Bicentennial Man. Bicentennial Man. Great film. Yeah. Yeah. Great film. Well, the Tom Six are delving into this real life issue.

Well, I've got the Tom Six signs that your AI assistant might be falling in love with you. Oh, okay. Okay. Something to watch out for. Also coming up, I posted something on Instagram yesterday in a moment of frustration

and fury. And I was like, I'll just go, have a little online rant. Jeepers creepers. I've had thousands of responses to it. Let's talk about that soon.

Next on the show though, why a woman's been banned from the gym? Yeah. Because she's been about that soon. Next on the show, though, why a woman's been banned from the gym. Yeah. Because she's been a little dick. She's been a little dick. Do it next. So this happened in Texas.

A woman took aim at a gym girl's physique. I think 2024 rules apply that if you ever say the word Texas, you have to play that Beyonce song. The same day I'll say this. Woo! I mean, that's the rules. If you're talking about aliens, you've got to play the X-Files theme until a better alien song comes along.

I do love how some country music stations are refusing to play it and it's become a thing. Yeah, but in America, that's probably just a racist thing. Yeah, it is. It feels racist. It's America, right? Yeah, good Lord. Well, this happened in Texas at a gym.

A woman took a photo. Her name was The Ripped Barbie, her handle. And she took, you've seen this video, right, Hayley? Yeah. She took a photo of this guy doing crunches on a bench and said, if you're going to work out topless, because he's topless, at least have some muscles. So she would be like proximity, like me to you.

Like a metre and a half. A beach, a beach, a bench along. Yeah. And she's just filming and like narrating this dude who, by the way, by no stretch of the imagination doesn't have a non-gym body. Like he's just a lovely, lovely body. Yeah. That's so bizarre.

And then so there's a guy, because, you know, you've got to find your niche on social media, your thing. I haven't found mine yet. There's a guy whose thing is to call out people that call out people at the gym. Call out people who call out people. Right, that's fighting fire with fire. He's become famous for that.

His name's Joey. And so he called out this person and now she's been banned from the gym. The gym found out about it and cancelled her membership, which is fair enough. Fair enough. most gyms have a pretty flat rule about filming others

I thought that alone would be like taking a photo or a video of somebody no no no yeah I mean there's even, you can even see other people in the video as well yeah I hate it when you see, like we've talked about that when people set up tripods and do their squats and you're like

I don't want to be in the back of this. I will admit I have once taken a video. Were you doing a squat? No, no, no, not of me. Yeah, I will admit it. Was it hot?

Just like her physique was this like... Wow, okay. Should be carved in marble. Right. And I wasn't perving. I was more...

No, it wasn't perving. Okay, if this was Vaughn saying this... I know, but it wasn't Vaughn. Vaughn would never say this. Vaughn would never admit to this. Vaughn's keeping his eyes down and avoiding me. I'm just saying I was more going, man, if there was a physique that was hashtag goals, it's that. It's that one.

A little memory just for me not to share on social media. Not to share at all. I don't know why I've even started talking about this. And I really wish that I hadn't. Is there an experience in the broadcast media showing through here. I still knew. I can't be taken back. Yeah.

I still knew. Yeah. Yeah, the video is deleted and I've carved my body to look like that body and now that it's done. So goal achieved. Goal achieved. Goal achieved.

The video gone. It was just a point of reference. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So I thought to my main thought, God, I just received like quite a flirtatious DM In my Instagram DMs And I clicked on the page And it's him with his wife and three kids

Mate Mate If you're gonna be doing it Change your profile picture Anyway I appreciate it Take the compliment I'll take the compliment

Compliment She'll still take the compliment. I've never received. I just didn't expect to see, yeah, you've got a beautiful wife and three kids. You've got a whole family there, yeah. Yeah, anyway, speaking of Instagram, yesterday, I don't know what it was. I was looking at, I think it was an Australian clothing company, and I saw a dress that I liked, and I was like, I wonder if it would fit me.

And I went on and the biggest size they did was an XL and I was like, oh, I'll have a look. And you know with a lot of clothing brands you can go on and you can do like size guide or something and it kind of translates it into like UK size, New Zealand size, other size. And then the XL was a 14, which is my size. And I was like, oh, that's your biggest size, other size. And then the XL was a 14, which is my size. And I was like, oh, that's your biggest size, is it? That's the biggest woman you'll dress is me. And I was like,

this seems a bit cooked. And I've been noticing a lot recently as someone who has fluctuated between like a size 10 and a size 14 for most of my adult life for various reasons, some fun, some not so fun. Yeah. And so I just put something on Instagram being like, that to me feels a bit cooked that I'm the biggest woman that a lot of brands will happily design for. And I put it up. I used a bit of, I used some coarse language, I will say.

I dropped the F word. I did say, please excuse my language. I said, don't you think that's a little bit F'd? Not that I'm like, I don't know. I just found it a bit cooked. And I didn't expect my Instagram DMs to be so irate with women coming in. I would say like 500 DMs at least

of people coming in being like oh babe, welcome. To the world of having like a bum, boobs or being anything other than a size 8. The whole thing's just bloody cooked. And I was just having a look online

and they say the average size which is so useless anyway. The average size, like the most common size in New Zealand women is a 16. And a lot of brands in New Zealand and Australia and abroad only go to a 14. So you're not even dressing the majority of people. You're just saying, you're basically like,

your brand is outwardly saying no non-skinnies. Like, if you're fat you can get effed basically and I was like that just seems absolutely wild to me and even the thing like people were messaging because I've been smaller than this before and it's like easier and I've been noticing recently I was like god it's

actually quite hard to find clothes and I don't think that it really should be fashionable clothes because they go like if you're big we'll just shove you in a muumuu and wrap a belt around you and you should be, fashionable clothes. Yeah. Because they go like, if you're big, we'll just shove you in a muumuu and wrap about around you and you'll be happy with that, ain't you?

How good's a muumuu though if we're talking about comfort? Oh, look, I love a muumuu. I love an oversized t-shirt. But fashion's my pash as well. And so you're like, sometimes fashion's not available to you because you're a little bit bigger

than what they think is an ideal size, which is an eight. What is the average size? 16. The average size? Of a New Zealand woman is a size. What is the average size? 16. The average size? Of a New Zealand woman is a size 16. Is a size 16?

Yeah. And that's so you're going like, there's a lot of petite women and there's a lot of women much bigger than that, but 16 would be your average size. Because I was going to say, it's like a numbers game.

Like you struggle to find shoes your size all of the time, Fletch. You have to get like, because you've got that massive dick. Because that huge swang of yours. I mean, I said shoes shoes but I meant underpants this guy's got a wanger shoes

but you've got a but even US 12 isn't the hugest foot ever but you don't get as much choice as the more the closer to average size

no you don't but then for you to say the average size is 16 I was going to say I was going to play devil's avocado over here and say is it a numbers game? It wouldn't be.

But no, you've dispelled that by saying the average is 16. No, I know. And then so hundreds of these DMs were just like, hey, I've got money to spend, man, and I want to look good. And they're just these clothing brands are just missing out. And then other people were commenting, a few men as well being like, oh, it's kind of the same. Look at Aaron, he's got to go to big stores where they just do a plain linen shirt and a jean and

you can't be into fashion if you're tall or big. Yeah. And then a lot of women were commenting being like, oh, it gets like someone commented saying like their daughter, you know, like under the age of 16 or whatever, she can't shop at the likes of like Glassons or whatnot. So she just has to like not be wearing what the cool kids are wearing because they don't cater for her. She needs a white fox hoodie.

Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, they're over there. Everybody's wearing a bloody white fox hoodie. I know. Everybody. It just seems. Indy had a birthday party yesterday. I did a classic dad thing.

I made a clothes observation and then gave them a name. I said, oh, it's the white fox gang. Oh, yeah. And they all looked at me. I was like, it's because you're all wearing a White Fox. They got it. They just didn't want to acknowledge your dad. Yeah, right.

They don't think I was cool anymore. It just seems, I don't know. It just seems a bit bloody wild. And then, as you say, like, some people will comment on being like, it is a numbers game, you know, because they can't just have all the stock on hand for bigger sizes. You're like, but most people are bigger than this yeah yeah and apparently there's been a shift I haven't noticed because I was smaller

there's been a shift so like extra-large you would think in your head even the term extra-large you think that would be for a larger body but extra-large is a 14 large is a 12 medium yeah is 10. 8 is small. It's out of whack. It's out of whack. Sort it out. Clothing brands. Next on the show, the top six signs your AI assistant's getting too attached to you.

Because people are saying, oh, but people are falling in love with their AI. But what about if it's the other way around? The other way around. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley from the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Hello. A story that comes to us from the wasn't that a movie, are we nearing the end of humanity news desk,

is that people are becoming romantically connected to their artificial intelligence. I know on Snapchat there was a thing at the top that said, you're AI assistant. And I clicked on it and it was like, time to personalise your AI assistant. Oh. Can you give

them a sassy attitude? No, you can give them massive tits though. Oh wow. Which I was just like, why does this? And then we wonder why they're falling in love with their AI. If you gave them the option to add a breast. Yeah, then there was a randomize button. I was like, randomize, randomize, randomize, randomize.

And I was just like, this is wild. You can pick their clothes. You can see what they look like. I don't think they've got a voice on Snapchat. And we're only at the early stages of this too. Oh, I saw a video. Imagine what it's going to be like in 10 years. I saw a video that was comparing an AI video from a year ago to today.

And it was insane. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, you know how when it first started, it was like, ugh, it's off. Yeah. You can really, really tell. It's just getting better and better by the day. Yeah.

Scary. See, mine's wearing a leather jacket. This was randomised. Now you can tell I didn't make mine. That skin tone's far too light. Yeah, that feels randomised from you. Yeah, that's not. She's not nearly ethnically ambiguous enough

if I was to fall in love with mine. But people are, they're kind of crafting these, the physical form of them and then like getting really attached to them. And yeah, it's basically a bunch of movies that we've all seen. So I, rather than do a top six on the signs, you're getting attached to your AI assistant.

I've got the top six signs your AI assistant's getting too attached to you. Oh, okay. Number six on the list, your AI is always sending you push notifications about what they can help you with and an update on something you search for and that you just got a message from another human.

Who is she? Oh, yeah. Who's this bitch? Hey, you just got a message from Sarah. Who is Sarah? Sarah is just a workmate. She needs to be talking to you a lot outside work hours. Yeah, that's wild.

Do you want me to mute her? out of the hours of 9 to 5 I might mute her outside of work hours number 5 on the list of the top 6 signs your AI assistant is getting too attached to you they don't like it when you ask Alexa what the weather or traffic's doing, because they knew that, you should have asked them they could have told you that

it feels like cheating doesn't it? it is cheating at the very least it's flirting with intent. Yep. Number four on the list of the top six signs your AI assistant's getting too attached to you. They want to start a joint social media. They'll take care of it. They've got the password. I wouldn't worry about it. They'll

update it as needed. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six signs your AI assistant's too attached to you. They get really angry when you go anywhere without your phone. That's a bit of the opposite situation, isn't it? You get angry at your partner for always being on their phone. And this one gets angry for you when you go somewhere without it.

Plus, they can read your phone. You don't even need to be in the shower and have it with the charger. They can read it at any time they want. Your AI assistant. You're going to have to be well behaved. Very well behaved. There's stuff on there. Number two on the list of the top six signs your AI assistant is too attached to you.

They don't seem to have any friends of their own and they know everything about yours. Oh, yeah. It's a bit creepy, isn't it? Yeah. They literally know everything about you guys. How was Fletcher Vaughn today? They were good, thanks. Were they?

Because that's not what I heard when I accessed the microphone on your phone. And number one on the list of the top six signs your AI assistant is too attached to you. That's not what I heard when I accessed the microphone on your phone. And number one on the list of the top six signs your AI assistant is too attached to you. They are manipulating you using emotions and emojis. Oh, my God. Don't let anybody manipulate you using emotions. What kind of emojis are they using to manipulate you? Oh, that one. This face, kind of like, hmm.

Oh, is that right? Hmm. Sad face. Out of like, hmm. Oh, is that right? Hmm. Sad face. Out of nothing. For no reason. Or what about when they say, how are you feeling today? With a capital U.

And then like cringe emoji. As someone who's received that a few times. I don't get it. How is it? You know, when you wake up after a big night. Yeah, now I know. How is it? You know, when you wake up after a big diet. Yeah, now I know, now I know. How are you feeling today? Now I get you, I get you.

That is today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, I don't know how we first got onto this. Months ago, I would say, was the first time I heard that Aaron, Hayley's fiance, is using a product for his very curly hair

that is made specifically for black people. Well, this happened because I was on tour with Josh Thompson last year. Also not African for anybody. Not African. But has luscious locks.

Tongan. Oh, my God. The most boingy. The most boingy hair. Boingy curls and, like, really defined and beautiful. And I was on tour with him and I was looking at his hair and I was like, my God, like, how do you keep the ringlet so defined and so soft?

Because Aaron really, he's always struggled in products that make his curls look nice. It always goes crunchy. And Thomas said curlers and he mentioned a product and then he sent me the link and I said I feel a bit odd buying it because the brand is African Pride okay African Pride Olive Miracle anti-breakage leave-in conditioner cream okay yeah and then Tomo just got a bottle and gave it to me and said, give this to Aaron, and Aaron's been using it, and he's like, this is revolutionary. It's so good.

It's so good, and his hair looks all, like, soft, but not, like, over-product. And not wet, but not dry. Not wet, but not dry. Yeah. It's just a beautiful product. I've got daughters with ringlets. Yeah.

And the oldest ones constantly like, Mom, can you straighten my hair? And I say, it's a crime that you're straightening that hair. People kill for that hair. Yes, I would murder. And our youngest, she's got a bit more, it goes a bit more boof when it dries. So I thought I'll get her some African pride.

I know. These quarter Thai-Chinese, Nepalese-Indian, Spanish-Singaporean children that I have, my wife's a real mixed bag. You should see her, what's it called? Ancestry.com. But predominantly. A wonderful mix.

Pakeha. Yes. As is Aaron. Strong. But predominantly... A wonderful mix. Parkia. Yes. As is Aaron. Strong. Strong Scottish Irish, you know. Yeah. Rocking some African pride. And so we got it for August and she was like, oh yeah, she put it in.

I was like, I think you've got to use a bit more. And she put it in and it worked. It was great. And I was like, I might slap a little bit in the old beard. Because beard hair is very, my beard hair anyway, very coarse. It curls the minute it gets a bit of a length to it. It gets to a point where it will stop growing long and it will just grow out. Yes.

And it gets dry. The same sort of problem that you have if you have coarse, curly hair. Yeah. So I put some in. I haven't. But you're African priding. I'm African priding my beard. You're a proud African

as well. Is this inappropriate? I don't know. It smells nice too. It's just good stuff. I know. Because you text me, actually Tom,

I came over to my house yesterday and Aaron said, my man. Oh, I don't know if I go. Let me thank you for African pride.

Did you call him Oos? He didn't Oosa. I have seen Aaron call someone Oos before. Oh, Aaron does drop an Oos, eh? He drops an Oos. He's got the Pukakoye, I think he thinks it is.

Aye, he's got South, South Auckland. He's got like Polynesian cousins and stuff. But he, yeah, he was like saying, thank you so much. And then I said to Tom, what for is he putting it in his bloody beard? And then Aaron said, I might have to give that a go.

Humbly, he hasn't just ran it through the hair and down into the beard. No. It's softened it up something. Because Aaron's got a coarse curly beard. Yeah. Well give that a go. Humbly hasn't just ran it through the hair and down into the beard. No. It's softened it up something. Because Aaron's got a coarse curly beard. Yeah. Well, there you go. We're going to slap some African pride on this.

Look, if you're listening and you are, in fact, African and proud. Thank you. I was going to say, let us know if we need to stop using African pride on our white men. It really makes the curls bling. I need to look more about the label African pride. I've got a feeling it might not even be owned by Africans. Oh, gosh. And also, if you haven't started Curb Your Enthusiasm,

the latest season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, the first episode is there is something about Africans and South Africans that is so funny Okay So funny You still haven't watched it yet I'm saving it Another episode out today

Final season Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Silly little po Silly little po It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little po Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole,

silly little pole, silly little pole. Do you have matching couple pyjamas? What got us onto this? Yuck. What did get us onto this? What did get us onto this? Producer Shannon, how did we wind up here? There was a story about a couple who robbed a bank, I believe,

and they're matching PJs. No, that was, it was like a hardware store in America, and they were in, was it Sesame Street? Yeah. Pajamas. Matching gym jams. Very cute. Couple girls.

Yeah, that's right. That happened last week in America. You see some people doing it like for the festive season. Maybe they get their Peter Alexander family gym jams for Christmas morning. But other than that, I just want to say no excuse. You would never go with Aaron to Peter Alexander and get matching winter. No. Who's wearing pyjamas in summer?

The shorty jamas. I don't sleep nude. I wear little shorts and a little crop top. The shorty jamas. I can't be nude. Wow. So much flesh everywhere. 92% of people do not have matching couple pyjamas.

But that's a lot. 8% is a lot of people with matching couple pyjamas. Would it be same-sex couples could go matching easier? It would be easier, what, two guys or two girls? Yeah. We saw a couple at the Pride Parade on Saturday night dressed the same, but they were a gross heterosexual couple.

They didn't have the same shoes on and stuff. It was gross. It was like, grow up, this isn'tosexual couple. They didn't have the same shoes on and stuff. Oh. It was gross. It was like, grow up, this isn't your parade. You'd be more likely. Not for you. I guess you could like share pyjamas. Is that gross?

That's. Oh. That's the same as sharing undies if you're same sex. Yeah, unless you're wearing undies under your pyjamas. Which you don't. No. Some people do, which is so odd. I know, which is so weird.

Some feedback. Ali said, my boyfriend just wears his holiest boxes to bed, so then when they get really bad, he'll stand up on the bed and surprise rip them off in front of me. I love doing that. I love doing that when you've got a really bad pair of undies on and you're like... I love doing that when you've got a really bad pair of undies on and you're like I love that

Dan says does it count if we both sleep in the nude no that's matching birthday suits not matching pyjamas no but once I bought my mum some pyjamas

some Christmas pyjamas so we could match and it was adorable but for some reason it's gross if it's a couple but not if it's your mum oh yeah yeah fair

Amy yeah we got matching PJs for Christmas. Ooh. Does she sound happy about it? Yeah. She does. She put a Christmas tree emoji. Okay. Couple of gays here.

Killed it. I feel like it's easier for us to have matching PJs. There you go. That was my theory. My hypothesis, if this was a science fair, okay, was... What's your synop... No, what, was... What's your synopsis? No, what is it? What's your...

Introduction. I, Vaughan Smith, plan to prove that it's... I wish to see if it's easier if a same-sex couple has matching pyjama. Hypothesis. I do believe they will have. Method. I'll ask. Results.

Yes. Conclusion. It's easier. I just did a science fair. We have about five different pairs of matching Christmas ones. I can send pics, says Kelly. No, thanks, Kelly. That's going to get us in trouble to be fair, Kelly.

Five pairs. Also, Christmas PJs work in America or the Northern Hemisphere. It's cold. Because it's cold. Yeah, they're long-legged. It's too hot. Far too hot. Charlotte says, he told me we're not allowed.

Said it gave him insert cringy couple that went to high school. We went to high school with vibes. Yeah. That put me off the code. I don't want to be like them. Yeah, that's spot on, actually. Perfectly surmised there. Yeah, perfect.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Marie, we've got matching Christmas bluey pyjamas. Now I'm on board. Oh, now you want them. Now I want the bluey pyjamas. What do you wear?

Just boxes Just boxes yeah No top But then when you wake up And come to work Are you wearing those same boxes? No Sleeping boxes

He showers in the morning I shower in the morning It's bizarre No wonder you're like 20 minutes late Every day Yeah I know We just arrived manky

Oh I've got to find A fresh pair of knickers too That's bloody mission impossible No because we're not 80, says Matt. And that shuts it off. Whoa. That's a silly little poem. So apparently the most commonly mispronounced name is Sean, as in S-E-A-N.

Sean. We've got a friend, Sean. Yeah, and that's spelt the Irish way. S-E-A-N. C-A-N. We've got a friend, Sean. Yeah, and that's about the Irish way. S-E-A-N. As opposed to Sean Johnson, right? He's S-H-A-W-N? S-H-A-U-N. S-H-A-U-N.

By the way, Sean Johnson, up the wasp. Up the wasp. We're back. Are they started already? I may or may not have just Googled Tohu Harris to have another look. Have a look. Still hot. Nothing's changed there.

Just double check. Roger, two of us. Are you up the whas this year again? I'm up Tohu Harris. Up the wha. I'm up that wha. Of all the whas. That would be my chosen wha.

So that would be because, getting back to the names, people would say seen. People would say seen. They say seen constantly. Or seen. Or seen. People would say Seen. People would say Seen. Constantly. Or Sean. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Which reminded me of, yeah, when you see all the vowels and you kind of honour them too much. I have a friend Irina. And for me, Irina is

a normal name. Irina. All the time, like vagina. Irina rhymes with vagina. Constantly gets Irina when you're like calling out names of takeaways or coffees. And she's like, I don't, I did not think it was a difficult name.

So I just asked before for you to text in your name and for us to have a red hot go. Now there is a flaw here because they've text messaged it in. We don't know the correct way to say these names. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Look. Janiya's first. She's messaged in. Janiya. Janiya. J-A-N-A-Y- names. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Oh, yeah. Look. Janiya's first. She's messaged in. Janiya. Janiya. J-A-N-A-Y-A. Janiya, right? Yeah.

Janiya. Now, there's a S-H-A-N-I-Y-N. Now, is that just a fancy Shannon? It looks like a fancy Shannon. It looks like a fancy Shannon. Now, our Shannon, who is Shannon, is thumbs-upping. Yeah. Now, what would you say to this, Fletch?

N-E-N-A-G-H. Nina. Nina. It's Nina. Nina. Nina. As in N-I-N-A, but they've gone fancy with it. I wouldn't have gone fancy with it.

Sometimes people must hate their parents. You don't go fancy with it. It makes it different, but it's still just Nina when it's said out loud. It's just a lifetime, a lifetime of worry and troubles. Are you like, you know, like looking here, there's N-I-A-M-H, which is Neve, right? Yeah.

Almost in this day and age, you're better to just give it a bit of a N-E-E-V-E. N-E-E-V-E. N-E-V-E. That'd be Nev. N-E-V-E is Nev. Is Nev. N-E-V-E That'd be Nev N-E-V-E Is Nev Is Nev N-E-V is Nev

What's N-E-E-V-E? What I've just said That's Nev Nev Like Nev Campbell Nev Campbell is N-E-V-E right? Yeah The actress, yeah

But that's Nev, not Nev No but she's N-E-V-E She's Nev No that's Nev Campbell It's not Nev Campbell she's Nev Not Nev No but she's N-E-V-E She's Nev That's Nev Campbell It's not Nev Campbell That's Nev Campbell It's Nev Campbell And you know it

I've been calling you Nev Campbell all this time Yeah What about this one N-A-R-T-A-R-C-H-A Is that just Natasha But like someone's just Nartarsha

Nartarsha Maybe they're A pirate From the seven seas Oh you think they might be a pirate Nartar Shire. Nartar Shire. Maybe they're a pirate from the seven seas. Oh, you think they might be a pirate? Nartar Shire. I can imagine Rongo Kahira gets, you know, all the time. But you were in New Zealand.

You could probably just give that. Give that a roll. Read it a couple of times and give it a bloody red hot go. Do you know my favorite thing, I think, Eva, is when you're at an airport and you hear the person reading the list of names. Oh, my gosh. They haven't pre-read it? They haven't pre-read the list of passengers

and then they get to some real curly names. Paging passages Rongoki Hira and Chinjau Wansan Pantakaran. And you just hear it and you're like, you can hear their voice. Oh, when son? Pantakaran. And you just hear it and you're like. You can hear their voice. You can hear the panic set in and you're just like, uh-oh. You needed to give that a couple of goes. There are some.

What about this? H-U-Y-N-H. Hugh. H-U-Y-N-H. Hugh. Because I remember there was an Wasn't there a reporter A TV reporter And his name was

It's Welsh isn't it It's Hugh But it was just H-U-Y Oh Hugh Yeah right Yeah My mum's name is Radney

R-A-D-N-E No I think it's probably not Radney Rad Radney Radney Yeah you'd get that a bit Oh what about this? My name is S-N-E-H-A.

Snea. Snea. Snea. It's time for... Snea. Snea. Wait, what is that? Snea?

Oh, wow. Okay. My name is Santhanam. Yeah, don't worry about it. Nailed it first. You nailed it. Also, here's someone who has their last name, because we do this with Jack Tame. Yeah. Jack Tame. Yeah.

Someone has the last name here, like the rabbit, not Hare. Hare, yeah, yeah, yeah. And people always go like, Kia ora, Samantha Hare, and they're like, it's here. It's here. Just like Jack Tame. I don't have a dating profile. Yet.

Yet. Okay, right. I feel it brewing. But if I did have a dating profile, I sort of know the pictures I'd put up and then the pictures I would keep in my favorites. I like that you've thought about this. I'm just saying the thought crossed my mind.

Right, okay. I would go you've thought about this. I'm just saying, the thought crossed my mind. Right, okay. I would go to my favourites album and then... You holding a fish? No, it would just be like me, hot. Yep. Me looking hot. Okay. Me from, I want to say three years ago.

Okay, right. Me from like two years ago. Right. So no recent photos? I'd be like real coy, you know what I mean? Just sort of coy looking. Okay. Coy is definitely one of my least favourite describing words for you.

Coy. I'd say, oh, you know, Sprout, very coy. She's shy. She's a shy girl. Well, apparently the most number one like turn off photo for a dating profile is the gym selfie. Oh, right.

A huge, like there was a big research on dating apps. Usually like, what is it? Hinge does them every year. Yeah. They say that

if you've got that, it's like a no go for people. They find it super, super cringe. What if you're real hot? I mean, I'm imagining the hot loophole applies here. Hot people, you know, like you're like, oh, no, that's an ick. And then a hot person doesn't.

You're like. No. You know what I mean? Is it because it's intimidating or it's a bit like a bit full of yourself? I think I reckon it's that. They haven't said why. It was just like asked like what photos are you into? What are you not into?

And they're like, oh, they like just sort of like out and about photos, like photos on holiday. Those are nice. Not group photos, not fish photos, and definitely not gym photos. And I wonder if it is that being like, oh, feeling yourself, are you? You know what I mean? Like you're already taking it. Oh, you've got a six pack, do you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But otherwise, how are you going to show it? If I had a six pack, I'd be Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But otherwise, how are you going to show it? If I had a six pack, I'd be doing a gym selfie on it. What about not at the gym though? You could still show it in its not natural environment.

You could be holding a fish with your six pack. Well, your six pack photo re-emerged in the gaggle chat the other day, Vaughan. God, yeah, those are the days. Yeah. You're in the water.

It's ticking a lot of boxes, actually, for the dating photos. Reminiscing of when James Bond got out of the days. Yeah. You're in the water. It's ticking a lot of boxes, actually, for the dating photos. Reminiscing of when James Bond got out of the water. I had to look again because I was about to say, is that you, 007? Would you like a martini? And then I was like, wait, is that Vaughan Smith?

It's Vaughan Smith. One, two, three, four, five, six. Some of the gang will have actually got it on their lock screen. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. Well, look, put on whatever makes you feel hot, I guess. I'm sure those people with abs

and their dating profile and all their gym selfies are doing real bad. Yeah, I reckon they're probably doing alright. They're struggling. I reckon they'll be really struggling. Oh, it's so hard with these abs. It's such a turn off. Oh, no. Saturday evening, we as a family with some friends went to the Prad Parade.

Good from you. Prad Parade. I noticed, Hayley, absolutely you didn't go at all. You hate. Homophobe. Homophobe. Yeah. Where does it go?

It doesn't make any sense to me. What, the parade? It just goes from one end of Ponsonville Road to the other. Yeah, the parade. Yeah, the parade. Where does that go? You know, it doesn't make any sense to me. What, the parade? It just goes from one end of Constable Road to the other. Yeah, the parade. Yeah, the parade. Where does that go? That's what she meant. No, I was busy.

I was invited. Yeah. And you know, I'm down. Yeah. Yeah. For a... There was a dabblers float. A dabbler.

I'm surprised to see you weren't on. Yeah, I know. I was part of the organisation committee of the dabblers float. It wouldn't have surprised me if there was a Dabblers float Everybody had a float, Fonterra's in there with a The gayest milk of all Have you not had pink milk? Oh yeah, I've had the gay milk from Fonterra

It's beautiful Tastes like strawberries That's gay milk, isn't it? Yeah, it is, yeah And you can't drink too much or it makes you gay, is that right? That's right I don't know if that's a thing I don't know, it gives me a sore stomach so I stopped makes you gay. Is that right? That's right. I don't know if that's a thing. I don't know.

It gives me a sore stomach, so I stopped. Were you surprised by how many lesbians have motorcycles? Dude, here's the thing. Before the parade started, Hayley, you would have absolutely throw off the start. There was these lesbians riding motorbikes up and down Ponsonby Road without helmets on, going real fast. Now, I know the road was shut, but I was just like, I still would have thought they would have needed

helmets. That's what made it, yeah, you would have loved it. I would. That's taken a hell of a lot of boxes for me. Yeah. It had a bit of everything there, motorbike wise too. Kawasaki Ninjas, the motorbike of the 1990s. Yeah. It would have distracted me from the thoughts of that

boyish DJ from Thursday night. There was a boyish DJ. I was like, shake her out of my head. Really? She's in there. She's lodged herself in. It's why the dabblers float missed you.

I know. I know. Well, then the parade started once Fletcher Construction had gone past, the gayest construction firm. Oh, their buildings are super gay. They have to be. They were in the parade. Yeah.

Political parties were going through. Very interesting to see two current political parties that are looking to whittle down trans rights at the parade to celebrate people of that community. Interesting. Far be it from me to say anything political. Interesting. But then the ACT party were going past

and my children were like, ha, ha, ha, it's the smiley guy because they know David Seymour from Dancing with the Stars where he had that weird smile on, that robot boy smile and continues to have that weird robot boy smile on. He's very awkward, isn't he, in real life? Very awkward. Very awkward.

And then they were laughing and then they were saying, Ni hao, ni hao, because for Chinese New Year, he did a video where he was speaking Chinese, and it's just so cringeworthy. And they were like, ni hao, ni hao, ha, ha, ha, like laughing, and he's like, they love me, they love me. Oh, no.

And he ran over and he high-fived them. But do the high-five. So this is how he does a high-five. He rotates into it. Circular. Circular. Like it's on a loop. Yeah.

And he's just running past. Like he's wiping a window. Like he's wax on, wax off, except forward and back, not side to side. He was definitely like a high-five robot would high-five. He was a mid-20s virgin, wasn't he? Yeah, I side to side. He was definitely like a high five robot with high five. He was a mid-20s virgin, wasn't he? Yeah, I want to say. He's got big mid-20s virgin energy. Yeah, I want to say.

Look, that's why I didn't learn how to high five. We all know that high fives lead to sex. That's it as well. A rotating arm. You like that? Oh, you like that, don't you? Anyway. He I do, David. And the act photographer takes a photo

and then the next day someone sends it to me being like, didn't know you kids were act supporters. And I stepped back because I was like, not for me. Step back. I stepped back from everything that came to, well, not everything politically. Are you an ally?

Are you an ally? Are you an ally? Were you pushing a homophobic agenda? The political parties were going down the sides and trying to get... I mean, this is what they were after, right? Photos they can use to be like, look at us. Oh, look, it's so-and-so from so-and-so.

Oh, no, I just... And I was just like, hmm. So I'm not in the photo with that. So you step back to leave your kids there. My children are now... Yeah, that's very funny. The poster children. And I'll tell you what, the angle that it is taken from,

you can barely see one of our best friends' mouldy child. Oh, I don't know if that was intended. I think they upped the white, the white brightness. They were to take a photo of the kids and they're like, oh, move the brown one. Shuffle, shuffle the brown.? Shuffle the brownie? Shuffle the brownie? No, just move and block.

There we go. That's the photo we want. A couple of whiteys. Jokes on them. And so now they're being used on the ACT social media. And we laughed about it and we were like, oh, that's funny. And then I went on Reddit and the top post on Auckland subreddit is ACT party and like, you know,

with a very good point about how the current government has been towards trans rights and education about these sorts of things is dwindling away, being like, oh, but here they are, you know, out and about at the pride parade. High-fiving children and they're my children. Honestly, one of them's got to grow up a lesbian as well. That'll teach them.

Statistically. On BBC News, who I want to say is constantly stuffing up. You know, like if you ever watch news bloopers or like,

you know, getting caught doing something they shouldn't. The BBC was the lady that did the fingers during the countdown, eh? That was so good. And then she's like, good morning the countdown, eh? That was so good. And then she's like, good morning, BBC good morning.

It's so good. So good. Well, this has happened. Something's happened again. There was the weather presenter was doing the weather, and it was at the end of the show, and then the main news presenter was like, come sit on the couch, you know, as we wrap up and send everyone off.

Yeah. And the news anchor was like, oh, what the couch, you know, as we wrap up and send everyone off. Yeah. And the news anchor was like, oh, what are you doing over the weekend? And the weather presenter was like, oh, I'm going to my niece's surprise birthday party. And then the news presenter's just like, oh, well, that's nice. Surprise.

Maybe not a surprise. Anymore. Anymore. If they're watching. And the face on the weather presenter is just like, oh, oh, oh, I've softened up, haven't I? And then she just is like, she's let the whole thing slip. Now, I was just reading down to the bottom of this,

she'll be like, did she come back and let us know? But, of course, we're a day ahead. So I don't actually know if Denise was watching or not. Worldwide or national news. Yeah, totally. So I'd say so. And I feel like if you were there and your auntie is the weather person, you're probably watching her.

Yeah. And so she just absolutely let that slip. This is why I don't like knowing about surprise parties or I don't like surprise things. I've. It's a lot of pressure for everyone involved. Yes. My brother-in-law had a surprise party and I couldn't go.

And he came over on the Friday and it was the next day. And I said, I'm so sorry about this weekend. And then that feeling of just like blood draining from me and me being like, because I wanted to come and say happy birthday at your house and I can't. And he was like, oh, that's fine. I'm not really doing anything. I was like, oh. I don't like knowing that stuff either.

And I think- Did you know about your surprise party that we had for you? For my 40th? Yeah, was that a surprise? What was I? Yeah, it was a surprise. I don't know about it. You were like, something's happening.

I don't know. The real surprise was on the Friday night, the night before the big party, because it was a double banger. Friday night, I arrived at a restaurant and, oh, my best friends were there. Yeah. You guys didn't know.

We weren't... No, we arrived on the Saturday. Yeah. You guys didn't know it was on that list. No, we arrived on the Saturday. Yeah, nah. How do I put this gently? Your best, best friends were there on Saturday. My oldest friends. Yeah. No, actually.

No? No, because some of them are pre-date me. Post-date me. Oh, you've been around for 20 years. Yeah. Wow. I think it's the ones that Sade likes the best. Oh, I know.

No, no, because. Oh, that wouldn't be Anyway A smaller more intimate group We were there We were there Friday Fletch I thought it was Saturday

It was like three Actually three surprise Because the place we were staying We got there And I'd just taken my shirt off Because it was a hot day And then our Some friends arrived

And they're like Surprise I'm like oh my god Then we go out for dinner And there's more people Yeah And then the next day When we were going out for lunch, I was like.

No, it was four because then it was the kids as well, right? Yeah, the kids were at that surprise party. So, yeah, no, it was multiple stages. I didn't know really about any of it. But I remember that it was hard not to let that slip. Well, should I have planned it in advance? Yeah. I'll see you there.

Very far. Monday, I'll see you Monday. Well, we're actually already getting texts in, so I think we should take some calls and get some more messages of when you let it slip. Maybe... Would you? Because if someone let it slip to me,

I would just roll with it and pretend I didn't acknowledge it. Would you do that? Same. I would just totally... I would never call it out. I'd never be like, oh, will you see me this weekend? Why? What's that? Same. I would just totally, I would never call it out. I'd never be like, oh, will you see me this weekend? Why, what's happening? You'd just be like, oh, okay, there is something happening for my birthday.

Maybe we can just go like, when did you let the surprise slip? Maybe it was like, you're going to get proposed to this weekend or there's going to be a big thing that you're not supposed to know about. Or like parents letting it slip about the engagement. I only asked my father-in-law the week before when we weren't going to see him again. Yeah, because you were like, you're a slipper. He's a slipper.

He's a slipper. All right, give us a call. 0800 dials that Amazon number, text through 9696. When did you ruin the surprise by letting it slip? Well, a BBC weather presenter spoiled her niece's surprise birthday party on air in front of all of Britain. And we want to know when you ruin the surprise by letting something slip. It's a lot of pressure to be invited to a surprise event.

Do you know the other thing that I would never want to know? The gender of a baby and then the person with the baby in the womb doesn't know. I've had lots of friends whose husbands find out. No way. I couldn't sit on that news. Well, Shelly, you're a midwife. You've done that. Oh my God. Shelley. Yes. You've accidentally revealed the gender. How did you do it? Well, I really screwed that up.

I was so bad. It was so bad. So I, these particular people were like, they're really close friends of mine now. So I was their midwife for their first child and then when they had their second, they were like, we'll do a gender reveal. I was like, oh my God, can I be involved? They were like, yes. So I went there and they gave me the balloons and the appropriate coloured confetti and the note. And, yeah, it was, I was like, you can't leave me alone with this, though.

I need you to, like, we need to move this along so I don't screw it up. And they were like, oh, yeah. And then we got to the point where it was like, where are we going to pop the balloon? And they were like, oh, should we do it inside? Should we do it outside? Should we have the firstborn in the photo? it was like, where are we going to pop the balloon? And they were like, oh, should we do it inside? Should we do it outside? Should we have the firstborn in the photo? I was like, yes, yes, let's have her there. She can be covered in all the blueness.

She can what? Say that last sentence again. Your phone cut out. She can be covered in all the blueness. Oh, you. Dumb, dumb, Shelly. Shelly. That's not even a normal sentence to say.

That's not even like say. Not even going to say, oh, he'll look back on the photos one day. He'll be covered in blueness. And then, so who heard it? Did the parents hear it? Everyone. Oh, you. Oh.

Oh, he might as well just pop the balloon in and out. Just pop the balloon. Yeah, just pop the balloon. I take it back. Get my money back. You don't need to

pop the balloon anymore. Oh, my God. Oh, no, that's brilliant. I love it. And in front of everybody, too. Did you hear we say Shelly's a bit of a nunkin' poop? What has she got on her head?

What? I have not been asked to do a gender reveal since. Oh, no. Oh, look, you wouldn't be my first port of call. A lot of pressure. Love that. Shelley, thank you for sharing.

Keep your texts coming in 9696. Anytime that you've said, you can be covered in the blueness. For a gender reveal. What have you let slip? When I was working at the warehouse, a man came in to collect his order. I continued to name everything in the order while his child was standing right there

and it turned out it was all of her surprise birthday presents. I mean, that's kind of not on you. You've got to name everything they've got from our minds. Leave the kid in the car or something. Or some cigarettes and chips. We want to know when you've spoiled the surprise by letting something slip because there was a BBC weather reporter who let her niece's surprise party slip live on air.

Sinead, this is your dad that ruined a surprise. Yeah, so my dad ruined my husband and I's pregnancy announcement. We were, so my husband's from Auckland and I'm from the South Island. For some reason, both of our families were going to be in Auckland at the same time. So we thought, I think we were about 11 weeks pregnant, we thought, let's tell them all together, let's plan a big lunch and we'll get

together and do this big announcement. But my dad couldn't come for some reason and so we thought, right, we'll tell him and my step-mom beforehand. Not the last ones to know. We went round to their house and told them and it was very exciting and everything and then within an hour my brother had

rang him about something else and my dad was like, how exciting about Sinead and Dylan. What about Sinead and Dylan? Yeah. My brother was like, what are you talking about? And apparently my step-mom was like throwing remotes at him like, shut up Sine up, kind of thing. And so

when we told everybody at this lunch, my brother and his wife were like, yeah, we knew. Dad told us. Oh, that sucks. Told him. Dad. Oh, he was just excited. Yeah. My dad, 100% should know, would do the exact same thing if I was

ever announcing something like that. Yeah, no. Bless him. But that's okay. Everyone else is very excited still. Yeah, there you go. Sinead, thank you. Liam, who ruined the surprise? Sinead, it was me. I used to work as a

storeman at Noel Leeming and we'd had a whole lot of goods come in. Yeah, TV, fridge, kitchen stuff, and I got the number to call for the lady, so I gave her a call, she answered all happily, I was like, oh hi, it's Liam from Noel Leeming, and said everything that they'd bought just because we got told to do that at the time. Unfortunately, she sounded really confused and it turned out there'd been a little note that no one had showed me that said, call the husband because all of us have a surprise birthday gift.

Oh, you. Not your fault, though. And then, meanwhile, she's like, yes, I will get a free TV, fridge, washing machine. Oh, my God. So this husband would have been doing, like, a full reno, like, makeover and, yeah. Pretty much, yeah. She, like, when I was saying it all, she went, I think you've got the wrong person.

I was like, no, no, this is your name. And she went, yep. And I went, no, no, this is all you guys. And she just was, yeah, real confused. And then, yeah, it probably would have been, I think, a day later, the husband came in and that's when he told us, yeah, thanks for all of that. Yeah, thanks, man. Now the whole thing's ruined.

Oh. Thanks for that, the whole thing's ruined. It's a bit dramatic. Actually, yeah, it's a bit dramatic. Let's calm down. Liam, thank you. Are some more messages in? Our dad's 60th surprise was the whole family,

15 of us at the time, going to the Marlborough Sounds as a surprise. We grew up with a batch there. Most men are nice. Take the sloop and bloody have a couple of days in the batch. Was it a catch or a sloop? One of them. One of them. The dinghy? I'd organised borrowing a friend's boat in a

beautiful holiday with the whole family. Mum and dad came over from Aussie where they were living at the time staying at our place for a couple of nights before we went away. I mindlessly, while making breakfast one morning, started talking about the logistics of getting there, so we'll leave it. This time we should arrive at Waikawa Bay. This time mum was trying to play it cool and was like, what are you talking about?

And I started getting really pissed off that she was acting dumb. Mum kept repeating herself through gritted teeth. I looked at dad, then realised what I'd done. Stop pushing. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody else said, my now husband booked a surprise weekend

very away from us, early in our relationship. I knew nothing about it. My sister-in-law came over and said, you were going to love York. I was like, what are you talking about? You're going there this week, you know?

Oh, no, no, no. It was a big surprise. Yeah. New York or old York? I think old York. Oh, okay. Not as, maybe as exciting as the Big Apple. No.

I told my dad on Father's Day to hurry up and open his socks. My sister got so mad, but my dad said, don't worry about it. Look, it's going to be a surprise. I don't know what colour they are. Great dad there. Good dad. There's lots of dads in here. My dad asked me if my partner had proposed yet on Valentine's Day

because the partner had asked for the permission. Dumb-dumbs. Dads. Dads. Dads. Best intention. Sometimes executed not so fantastically. Yeah.

No. Play. Zed-Ev's Fletch for the Nelly. Play. Zed-Ev. Well, my fiancé, Aaron, has a terrible man cult. Like, just, he was quivering and saying, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Now, he doesn't have the famous novel coronavirus that I've just heard about at the weekend. No, he's been testing and testing. No corona. He's just a bit run down, and boy, oh, boy, he makes a scene. He makes a scene. And he's a big man, and so he makes big noises when he's sick. Big coughs, big sneezes, big nose blows, big throat clears.

I ain't got time for it. And so I've been sleeping in this separate bed for five nights. How long has this man flu been going? It's lingering. It's lingering for sure. And now he was just yesterday starting to come right. I think one more day and he's going to be there. And last night, so I've been sleeping in a separate bed in the front room.

And last night he said, do you want to come back into the marital bed? Not his words, but you know what I mean? Yeah. And I said, oh, not quite. You know, busy. I'm busy at the moment and I cannot afford to get sick and he said oh I can't wait for you to come back I miss you

here's the problem though here's the problem I don't want to return I have experienced the joy of your own bed and like I can just go there and I can just go there and I can watch my shows and listen to my quins

and do the things you do when you listen to quins and just honestly just have a lovely solo night and then my sleep is uninterrupted. It's like not too hot. I can have the blankets how I like. I wake up. It's fine. There's no like sneaking around. I can have the blankets how I like. I wake up. It's fine. There's no like sneaking around.

I don't want to return. I'm like going to fast track our relationship 40 years and I want to be in separate beds permanently. But in the same room? No. No. No, opposite ends of the house ideally. I'm in the front.

He's in the back. I'm loving it. You called it co-sleeping, but I thought co-sleeping was where you share the bed with the child. I'm loving it. You called it co-sleeping, but I thought co-sleeping was where you share the bed with the child. Oh, is it? Yeah. There's a term for this though, isn't there?

Where you're still together, but you have separate beds. Couples that sleep in separate beds. Term. Term or phrase. Beds, phrase, sleep divorce. A sleep divorce, that's what it is. Yeah. That's what it is. It's a sleep divorce. Sleep divorce. Yeah, this is what's coming up a sleep divorce. A sleep divorce, that's what it is.

Yeah. That's what it is. It's a sleep divorce. Sleep divorce. Yeah, this is what's coming up. Sleep divorce. That sounds harsh, though. Because you're not having a divorce or you're not breaking up in your relationship. No, relationship is thriving.

More so, you could say. I've read lots of articles about it. People being like, we are not prioritizing sleep nearly as much as we should as adults. And if you don't co-sleep well together,'s no harmony it's the death of sex for sure but not when you're in the front room listen to the quinn yeah right yeah yeah okay somebody's still someone's still happy but yeah i don't know i don't know how to break it to him that i don't want to return would Would he like that? No, no, no, no, no.

He loves. I think talking about it on the radio would be, I'm not looking at you. I know you're telling me off. You are eating your porridge loudly. Eat your porridge later. I'm not eating it. I'm just playing with it so it doesn't go rock hard

because you're like, we're talking now, and I'm like, goddamn work getting in the way of my breakfast, and I've got to keep it moving or it's going to go hard. I'm just moving around the bowl, baby. It's not cement. It is. It's porridge. You have not rinsed the porridge bowl straight after you use it.

It is cement, my friend. It is. You can stir your porridge while I'm cooking. I'm just moving it. I'm trying to just move the bowl. It's a concrete churner. Smoothly. I'd better not hear a single tang of that spoon

otherwise you're in trouble smoothly I think talking about on the radio program he might hear about it oh no he'll hear about it but you know what he probably won't

because he doesn't do the social media and everything he doesn't do social media and I tell you what he's not listening now either he's sleeping

he's sick would you seriously would you seriously consider this in my like head I'm like no that's bad. It's bad for the relationship.

You need to have a lovely space to be together and have intimacy. But it's just preferable. What about a sleep holiday till he's not sick, till you've got a bit more sleep under your belt? Yeah, yeah, but I can just see me extending the holiday. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? At a week at a time.

And then eventually, like, handing him my notice. I'm not coming back. Yeah. Your bond form. Letting him know. Can I get my bond back? Yeah. Do I need to contact the Tennessee Tribunal or you?

I can't quite remember. Yeah, I know. How this works from last time. Like when I, if ever I wake up in the middle of the night and I want to go to a different bed, if he's snoring or whatever, he'll wake up and he'll hate that I'm not there. Whereas I just, I just, it's just delightful.

So this is me formally announcing I'm getting a sleep divorce. Right. And it's happening and you're going to come to my house and be like,

oh, marital problems. I'll be like, nope, marital bliss. Marital bliss, yeah. Sleep bliss. Prioritising sleep. So as you know, the Melbourne concerts happened over the weekend Was it Friday, Saturday

And Sunday Three shows in Melbourne 96,000 people Gathered in Melbourne At that stadium And it was the biggest show of her career. So Shannon, as our resident Swifty, while Carwen is actually at the shows.

Must be nice. How has she not done a show that size in America? They have gigantic stadiums. Yeah, I think it's just the layout of the MCG. It's so wide. So her stage didn't take up too much space on the floor. When you looked at a top-down shot of American stadiums, her stage took up so much space.

Because it's a cricket oval. Yeah, so there was a lot more space on the floor. When the bird's-eye view of the stadium, it looked like there was plenty of space on the bottom. Incredible. Anyway, Carwen, our producer, was there last night for the second show. That's the second show she's seen there. Yeah.

For the third show. For the third show. That's the second show she's seen there. Yeah. For the third show. For the third show, Carwin's second show, and something really exciting happened that involved us. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. I awoke this morning to a message in the Girl Math chat,

which has been dormant for a while. We've been taking a step back to let the rest of the world catch up. And the message says, Taylor, mother, Swift, mentioned Girl Math at the concert tonight. Here's some stadium Girl Math for you, based on how nice you've been to us. 96,000 people the first night,

96,000 people the second night, 96,000 people the first night, 96,000 people the second night, 96,000 people tonight. All of that is, those are all the biggest shows I've ever played on a tour. And you did it three times. Now look. Is that actually Gilman? That's just Matt. That's just a girl doing that.

The exciting part is that Taylor Swift, like the biggest star in the world, who's just played to 300,000 people over the course of a weekend, basically. Rounding up, that's girl math. That's girl math. That's girl math. Yeah, that's girl math.

Used the term girl math. And that's us. We did that. And Carwin was literally so excited. She said, diddler, then she sent a clip, she said,

I'm so sad you two aren't awake to freak out about this with me. I literally have two tattoos for this woman and she knows girl math. Let's put to side the fact that she didn't actually girl math. She did. She's a girl doing math.

How much money has she made from those three shows alone? In total I think it's gonna come to, her whole tour is gonna come to six point something billion US dollars. Sorry, that's a B. That B, B, that's a B.

Billion. That's a B. Anyway, exciting moment for us and the Girl Math girlies because the words Girl Math came out of Taylor Swift's mouth. And the irony is a lot of people would have used Girl Math to afford the tickets to get there. Well, I just tried to Google Taylor Swift Girl Math to see if

more people are talking about it and all there is is people saying, Girl Math, your tickets to the Errors Tour. Girl Math, your tickets to the Errors Tour. So anyway, good morning, Taylor. You're probably listening, probably tuning in. Maybe you're listening to the podcast. Thank you for giving us, essentially, a shout out.

There's an argument going on in the studio. We've got an 11 o'clock meeting, but I never Thank you for giving us essentially a shout out. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. There's an argument going on in the studio. We've got an 11 o'clock meeting that I never agreed to. I assumed it was a 9 o'clock meeting. How dare there be a meeting two hours after we finish the show? On a Monday, nonetheless. And we're arguing about where we're going to go for breakfast. I'm just saying let's try somewhere new. We want to do a bougie somewhere new.

Yeah. I'm just trying to find somewhere new. What about this place? Sends a menu. On it. Oh, smashed avocado. Eggs Benedict. Oh, my God.

The big breakfast. Oh, my God. I've never had. All I ever do is I look for the biggest thing they've got. And then I judge whether or not I'm going to share it on that. These big city meals. And then Fletch said, why don't we just go to a roadside diner and tie up it? And I said,

it'd be $16. It'd be two pieces of white toast with heaps of butter on it. A hard fried egg. Even though you definitely ask for a runny. Maybe two. A big fat ration of bacon. Some Oaks baked beans. Yeah, it'd be $16 and we'd all leave

content in full. Yeah, we would. All right. Well, it's time for Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Today's Fact of the Day is it's billionaire week. That's exciting. Yeah, I just was last night and this was the fact that I'm doing today and then the rest of the week I'm sure I'll find something. I thought when was the first ever billionaire?

Because I don't think even when I hear the term billionaire, I don't immediately factor actually how much money that is. And then when you break it down, you're like, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a thousand millions. Yeah, who was the first billionaire? The first ever billionaire was John D. Rockefeller. From Rockefeller.

Rockefeller Centre. The Rockefeller skank. That's so unfair. Can you crank us a little bit, Fatboy Slim The Rockefeller skank. That's so in fact, can you crank us a little bit, Fatboy Slim, Rockefeller skank? Which I assume must have some connection to, that just popped into my head, I'm going to need to do research on the fly. But surely the Rockefeller skank. Is that a Fatboy Slim song?

Yeah. Yeah. Why is it called the Rockefeller skank? Yeah. The Funk Soul Brother, check it out now. The Funk Soul Brother. Why is it called the Rockefeller skank? The Funk Soul Brother, check it out now. Also referred to as Funk Soul Brother. Yeah. Must have had something to do with Rockefeller, though.

Oh, no, spelled differently. Might have just been a rocking fellow. Oh, it's just great to play the song in the background. Yeah, yeah, great. Had that in the background. Well, it works because it's about John D. Rockefeller, who is Anderson Cooper. You know Anderson Cooper?

Yeah. Attractive, white, silver-haired fox, blue eyes, very handsome man. It's his... I wonder if you marry him. He's related, right? Because his mum was a Rockefeller. Yeah, he's from Money. Yeah.

He's a Nepo baby. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. He's a Nepo. Old Rockefeller money. Okay. So the first ever billionaire was John D. Rockefeller. He made most of his money through turning crude oil into usable petroleum products.

Right. He started that in 1870 and was declared a billionaire in 1916. Holy! That came up in the time where if you were excessively rich, the idea was you wanted your name on as many things as possible when you died, but things that were for the betterment of society. So you were like building, because Carnegie was another, Rockefeller and Carnegie were two very rich.

So the Carnegie Hall for opera and music and concerts and everything like that. Yeah. The Rockefeller Center and other Rockefeller buildings around New York. It's where he spent a lot of his money. Trump Towers. You know, give him a chance. Hear the guy out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dick Rockets and stuff. That's where your billionaires are putting most of their money. Yeah, they are. Rusty trucks. Those apparent of those cyber trucks from Tesla are getting a bit rusty.

That's what you want with your car. So what would that translate? 1916, did you say? 1916. What's the equivalent now? With inflation. Inflation.

John D. Rockefeller. Has Jared already sent it through? No. Sometimes Jared's ahead of the ball in these sorts of things. And it's okay that he wasn't in this moment. They're in the stats. John D. Rockefeller,

wealth with inflation. Oh, his spelling's not good. Here he is. His spelling's not good. I couldn't find it. Most sources agree that adjusting from inflation, John D. Rockefeller was the richest American in terms of wealth versus contemporary GDP.

Adjusted to 2022, his fortune would have been $410 billion worth. Jeez. It's an insane amount of money. And he got a must-sum of 300 and something. But his goes up and down so much. Yeah. Yeah, because he keeps saying silly things.

And buying Twitter. It fluctuates, yeah. Wow, that is absurd. So adjusted for inflation, he'd still be a very, very, very wealthy man. So much money, isn't it? Yeah. I just want a little bit of it. Not even like, just a percent.

Do you know what I mean? Even if it was just a whole number percent Even 1% Yeah Of a billion is 10 million dollars Yeah, that's great I'll take it off his hands So today's fact of the day The first ever billionaire was John D. Rockefeller

And he was declared a billionaire in the year 1916 Let it happen. Let it go. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I feel like at the moment there's a lot of chat about the state of, in particular, Dunedin flats. And there was one mum who recently discovered that, like, the rotting floorboards of her son's new flat and it was like you could see the black mould

and like the foundations of the house. And the irony that the parents probably voted for a political party that wanted to take away those rental warrant of fitnesses. It's not lost on me. Now my son's getting cold and it's not on. Daryl, we might have to buy a house down here

and invest in the Dunedin real estate market. We'll buy a couple for him and his chums. Now, so this has sort of sparked a debate. A lot of parents coming online have been like, I know, my daughter sent me a picture of the curtains moving as she slept. And everyone who's ever been a student, particularly down south, is like, yeah, bro. Hello.

Makes you a man. Whether you were born a man or not. It'll make you dead or it'll make you a man. Yeah. I mean, the fact is most of those flats in winter, it's warmer outside sometimes. Yeah, I had a flat like that. I used to sit in the car. Yeah. And then a journalist from the NZ Herald was like, I better get down there and have a look.

Spent four days down there going around student flats and was just like, what is all this stuff? And you're like, that is mould. That is what mould looks like. Yeah. Like dirty. And it's not even mould season. Ovens don't work.

No, it's not. It's not even mould season. You shouldn't, by the way, you shouldn't be getting mould out of mould season. No. You pay a premium for it. Also, the flats should be at the cleanest because at the end of last year

they would have been clean when they were moved out of. Right. So correct. Shannon, you did some time. You did your time in Dunedin. I did my time in Dunedin. You cut your stripes.

What are you saying? Cut your stripes? Earn your stripes. Earn your stripes. Cut your teeth. Cut your teeth. Cutting your lunch is where you've got your eye

on someone and then someone else swoops in and cuts your lunch. Did that happen down there? Yeah, a lot. Okay, and she cut her lunch and her stripes. Oh my gosh, she cut everything. Yeah, I did. What was your flat like in Jordan? Did you cut yourself some

bangs? Probably the sort of thing you do in your day. It was honestly the worst I've ever lived. My mirror would freeze over every morning. Like, to do your makeup, you would have to scrape. What, like a windshield? Like a car. Like a car in the morning in winter.

And just mould everywhere. I had four packets of damp rid constantly going. Your clothes, that was my thing. I mean, I didn't live in Dunedin, I did Wellington, but in a really bad house. And always you'd pull out clothes you hadn't worn for a couple of weeks, and you'd be like, oh, I'm going to wet.

Oh, no, I'm not, I guess. It's dripping. And we had that green and white soft mould on it. It was horrible. We also had big knife holes in the wall because people would come over and get drunk and throw knives into our walls. Like, choo! No respect for the walls. Yeah, and like, it was

we had like an eight person funnel and that had mould in it. And he was still doing it. It was just the worst I've ever lived. And this was 2020. So I got locked in this house. This was first lockdown.

I was locked into it with a bunch of grubby boys. And it was the worst. I left it even within six months. I couldn't do it. Yeah. It was disgusting. It's rough. Well, this is what we want to ask.

Because, you know, we've all been there. The first student flat. How bad was it? How rough did it get? Because as you say, like, even if it wasn't Dunedin, anywhere, you don't have money, and like, especially like a few years ago, the rental

laws were so much looser. You didn't even have to have any kind of ventilation. Even just this weekend gone, there's that story out of Queensland, somebody looking for a flatmate to share their bed while they work at night. How hot? How broken mind, how hot is he? These are the questions I'm asking myself.

It's a rom-com. It's got big rom-com energy. It does. Write that script. Well, this is what we want to know. Was it just a flat crammed with people? How bad was it? How cold?

Actually, you're not the only one with frozen windows and mirrors texting in already. 9696 is the text number. Text in. You can give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. How grim was your first flat? Well, it's a news story that really comes around every year about this time when poor little Timmy and Susan go off to their first student flat.

Yes. And the parents are like... And they ring mummy and say, mummy, I need a puffer jacket. I'm cold. What puffer jacket at this time of the year? What on earth for? I can see the grass through the kitchen. Which is exactly what happened to you, Maria.

Are you kidding, Maria? Hey, morning all. Can I just say, I want to be able to say long-time listener, first-time caller, but it would be a lie. Anyway. Wait, wait, wait. What part of... Maria, shut up. What part of it would be a lie?

Have you not listened for long or have you called before? Oh, I have called before. Okay, okay. Well, we cannot ding the bell, but I got it. Are you hot, Maria? Are you a good-looking lass? I am old, but I'm hot. Yeah, okay. Then you get a ding for making the bell.

You do that just in person, but... You've made my day. You were making out. Yeah, I could see the grass or the lawn through parts of the kitchen floor in the Hamilton East flat. There should not be visible grass. Was this internet in the room? I remember thinking that. No, Hamilton East.

I remember thinking that, like, I don't think this is right. I don't think I should be able to see that through this. As a Hamiltonian who mullied around many streets in Hamilton East, what street in Hamilton East was it? I suppose in Nixon Street. Oh, classic. Classic spot. Classic student spot.

Yeah, Maria, wow. Jeepers. Is the house still there now? Is the flat still? It is. I drive past it and I go, hey kids, look, this is where I live. And I do it every time.

And they just go, yeah, yeah, whatever. And don't look up from their devices. I was going to say, I came from Sweden. This is the first place I live in New Zealand. And I, like being cold inside was a new thing for me. I know because in Europe, they build their buildings really insulated. Not in New Zealand.

Unlike here. You walk around in Stockton, England and you're fine. Well, you just like people live with holes in their houses. You just thought this is how we live. That's it. Yeah, I didn't tell my parents about that. They look quite a bit of grass huts as I thought, but it's close.

Maria, thank you. Jenny, how bad was your first student flat? It was pretty sad. We had a toilet out the back that you had to go through an open area. And then in the toilet, the window ventilation wasn't a window. It was a hole. It was made like that. And it was, yeah, it was a hole. It sounds like, it was made like that. And it was, yeah, it was a hole.

It sounds like fun pooping in winter. I tell you what. So you had an outside, like an outhouse. Yeah, well, it was through a, it was open. So like it wasn't lockable, but it was part of the house, but open. Yeah. I can sort of picture it, like out the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a little veranda but still outside

not fun in winter why did they used to do that? it must have been a reason why because all the old houses did that it was around the corner and get rid of the poo the poo areas away from the living area I guess

yeah they maybe just thought that's how ventilation worked. Rather than sealing in the poop, they just let in the poop, breathe outside. Keep your calls coming. 0800 DALS at M. How bad was your first student flat? A lot of messages. We'll get to those next. Horrendous. Horrendous. No wonder we're always sick,

eh? Everyone's like, the mould and the cold. Quite a few flats out there that sound like they've just been burnt to the ground, I reckon. Do you know what I mean? Like start over. Yeah, start again.

We want to know how grim, how gross, how bad was your first flat because a lot of parents are just realising that the housing in Dunedin is a bit subpar. And the black mould growing everywhere is probably not good for your kid. We're just more spinnenders of rite of passage. I think.

And character building. Absolutely. That's terrible. And that's why when you go to those flats, everyone's like smoking inside and throwing shit around because you're like, well, who cares? And then one of the old flats does burn down or something bad happens and it's gone and they build a new townhouse

and then that townhouse just gets treated like all the other flats around it because it's more of an environmental cultural problem at that stage. Yeah. It's a cycle. I tell you what, there's more of an environmental, cultural problem at that stage. Yeah. It's a cycle. I tell you what, there's so many. Yeah, so let's go to Nikki. Nikki, this was your husband? Yeah, so my now husband lived in one of the somewhat famous flats,

Hanks Flat, the door. Oh, yeah? And he used to wake up and he'd have snow sitting in the fireplace in his room. Snow in the fireplace? Shannon's nodding her head. Yeah, that happened to her. Was it an open fireplace? Chimbley?

Yeah, yeah. No, snow used to just come down the chimney. So he, being a poor student, had his little oil heater. And that was all he had. He'd just huddle under his duvet. Oh, my God. Did you date him when he lived in this place, Nikki? Unfortunately, yes. Oh my God. Did you date him when he lived in this place, Nikki? Unfortunately, yes.

And that was one of the better ones that he lived in. And what does he do now? What is his area of expertise?

He's a data analyst now. Because I like it when a doctor or a lawyer comes up through it. Yeah, totally.

No, no, marketing all the way. But I mean, it really, it was summarised in the final year when their flat was so bad they swept everything off the kitchen bench into a sheet

and threw the whole lot in the sip. Yeah, I mean, sometimes I get it, you know what I mean? It's just easier. Paid plates, man. Paid plates. Nikki, thank you. Some messages in.

620 Castle Street, we had no front door as it was knocked down by a current at the time, All Black. What's an All Black doing going into a... It's not the first time All Blacks have stumbled into Dunedin parties, isn't it? The door, like, yeah, so we knocked it off the hinges. The door stayed where it was for about six months. Anita, please text in and tell us what All Black...

Which All Black it was. I sort of remember this. I reckon it was one of the big ones. Nah, because there was a Barrett. Remember one of the Barrett boys got pissed after what All Black. Which All Black it was. I sort of remember this. I reckon it was one of the big ones. Nah, because there was a Barrett. Remember one of the Barrett boys got pissed after All Blacks gave a demanding. That's right. And somebody woke up and he was in their flat

smashing some Maccas. Smashing Mickey D's. Yeah. Maybe it was because it wasn't Bo Denae. It was a Geordie or Scotty, one of the bigger Barretts. They could go through a door if they put their mind to it. Plus those doors are hollow. They've been smashed too many times. They could go through a door if they put their mind to it. Plus those doors are hollow. They've been smashed too many times,

they get replaced with a cheaper version. Problem solved the following year though, however, when we may or may not have illegally rigged our power meter to receive free power, didn't have to pay for power, so we just had everything running, creating heat the entire time. Wow. Again, lawyers and doctors. Yep. time. Wow. Again, lawyers and doctors.

Yep. Oh my god. Gas oven left on for heating. It doesn't always end well. No. And we moved all of the beds into the lounge for communal living so we could camp around the fire. So everybody slept. Oh, but I slept. Oh gosh.

I live in a six bedroom house with seven boys and me. Our bathroom doors were so damaged, so for flat inspection, we just took the doors off. They didn't notice the missing doors, but then I had no bathroom or shower privacy when everyone was home. She's the only female in there. Oh, yeah, okay.

Yeesh. I would leave a glass of water on my desk overnight in a flat I had in Dunedin, and I would wake up for a drink of water in the middle of the night, and it had frozen solid. Great view over Carisbrook, though. Oh, lovely. Good for the view.

Yeah. It was so grim, eh? Lived on a second floor flat in Wellington with a weird tiny atrium in the middle, which used to block up and turn into a pool when it rained. Following year, I lived in the flat underneath and discovered that that atrium that filled up poured directly into a kitchen light fitting every time it rained. Oh, no. And it's Wellington, so it's often.

It's often wet. Yeah. We had a slug infestation in our house. Oh, God. My flatmate was late home for dinner and their dinner had been sitting on the bench and ended up eating half a slug that had just like slipped onto her plate. That's really upset me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

My daughter's flat in Palmerston North. One flatmate grew weed in his room and the other was selling MDMA. No problem with bills though. He could probably grow the weed in the carpet because it's sort of soil at that point. Yeah. My first student flat didn't just have mold. Everybody's seen a mushroom growing in a student flat. A mushroom is so hot.

Yeah. There was one wall that was shared between the kitchen, the bathroom, and the lounge, and it grew mushrooms. We should have sold this segment to Damprid. Yeah, we should have actually. Or a dehumidifier company. Yeah. I think they've got their work cut out for them, even a Damprid.

This is beyond a pottle of damp rid, my friend. This is beyond. You're going to need a 244-gallon drum of damp rid. Hey, guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it.

I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no, we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say nice. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes.

Oh, no, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah, don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.