ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th June 2024

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things of Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Fleshborn and Hayley, it's two minutes past six. The jackpot for five on time. Fifteen and a half thousand dollars. Your chance to win at eight o'clock this morning.

That is so much money. I know. I want it to go, but I also want it to just keep getting higher and higher. Well yeah, it could get up to 25,000 that's our cap so it's jackpotting your chance so we don't have no cap this is our bus in competition

but there is a cap there is a cap skibbity toilet oh yeah that Riz, Ohio you know all the lingo, don't you? Sigma. Sigma Riz.

Yuck. Sigma Riz, guys. Coming up on the show, the top six. Winston Peters has said, hey, let's not ban greyhound racing. Dogs love running. Dogs love racing. Wasn't he in charge of the racing? He was the minister of racing?

He loved being the minister of racing He'd love a gamble He'd love a Friday night down the doggies A quinella He is the current minister Oh he is, okay The minister responsible for the New Zealand Racing Board Racing Industry

Transition Agency And the TAB The dogs love racing The dogs love racing on Racing Board, Racing Industry Transition Agency. So he says the dogs love racing. The dogs love racing. Probably out on like a beautiful open farm. Oh, my dogs love running. Yeah. Just not sort of.

Put in cages. Yeah, and then sit and like just, yeah, whack trains. Run till their bones are rubbing on bones. Deal with this in the top six. Because I asked him, I said, I didn't know you could speak to animals. What other animal insights do you have for us? And he said,

I said, oh, Winston, you're speaking beer. And he said, sorry, I'll speak in English. I have the top six other animal insights from Winston Peters coming up. Okay, our very own Dr. Doolittle. Yeah. Dr. Doobuggerall. Am I right, bloody politicians? Up there in the beehive, not working like bees.

Next on the show. There is a gym in Korea that has sparked controversy over a sign they've put up. Asking for the type of people they want to frequent their gym. This is a great word. Ajama. Ajama. What does it mean? It means, so this is Korean. Yeah.

And ajama is commonly used to refer to an older woman, typically over 30. Okay, wow. Those that you would, I guess, in Western context call ma'am. Yeah. And it refers to, they sort of say it's the Korean version of a Karen. Ajama, aunties, old aunties, they say. Yeah. So there's a gym in South Korea. They've put up a sign.

Would we self-identify as Ajamma? Do you want to just do the show on your own or you're right? Come on, auntie. Happy to go home. Auntie. Happy to go back to bed. Oh, Nanny. Don't auntie me. Nanny. I'm not an

Ajamma. I'm not a Karen. So this gym put up a sign saying off limits to ajummas and declared that it's only cultivated and elegant women allowed at this gym. Oh, okay. So apparently they've been having a massive problem with these Karen-like ajummas or aunties, and they said they've suffered damage because of obnoxious behaviour by older women. They'd spend an hour or two in the changing room

to do their laundry, steal items including towels, soaps and hair dryers. They would sit in a row and comment and judge younger women's bodies. They would leave hot water running for an hour or two, which doubled the water bill, and they would sexually harass young female members, telling them that they would leave hot water running for an hour or two, which doubled the water bill, and they would sexually harass young female members, telling them that they would bear babies well. So basically, just older women sitting there being like,

when are you going to have a baby? You've got to put a baby in there. And then doing all their washing and stuff at the gym. Hanging out at the gym for hours at a time. Because it's free. You can't steal our hair dryers, eh? They've hardwired them into the wall. Hardwired them.

Oh, right. So there's no plug-in. They're just literally hardwired. Is it a bungee cord? Does it? No, it's got a bit of... Yeah. Long.

It's long. It's like the old telephone cord. It spirals up and pulls in. No, it's not. I was saying hotels. Because at my gym, there's deodorant and stuff, if you've forgotten yours. Spray on deodorant. It's so the old telephone cord. It spirals up and pulls in. No, it's not. I was in hotels. Because at my gym, there's like deodorant and stuff. If you've forgotten yours, spray on deodorant. I know, it's so weird.

What? And they've written on it with Vivid, anytime fitness came you. Yeah. When I was... What if Paul Z. moves me? Actually, that's a lovely scent. Chuck it in the bag.

Oh, I can't. Someone's written on it with Vivid. It's not communal roll on, is it? No, no, it's aerosol. It's spray. It's spray. I know, I used to use it when I joined Vaughan's gym temporarily. Just to shower.

To shower. I worked out twice in six months. And they still talk about it. And they're like, wow, what a lift. So next to the sign that the gyms put up, they put up another sign describing what an ajama is. An ajama is a woman who likes free things regardless of age, gets sworn at everywhere, but does not know the reason why,

sits in a seat reserved for pregnant women on public transport, goes to a cafe with two people and orders just one cup of coffee and asks for a cup to share, secretly throws food waste into public bathrooms or other toilets, is frugal with their own money but not with others, and has poor memory and judgment and says the same things over and over again. It is a Karen. That's a Karen, man.

They've gone to war with the Karen. Yeah. And the gym's like, everyone's like going, you can't ban people from your gym. And the gym's like, no, we stand by it. I'll just get out of here. Yeah, it sounds annoying. That term just really summarizes a whole sort of category of women.

I'm going to start using it. Ajama. Ooh, ajama? Ajama? It's just not going to happen in New Zealand. No one's going to be in the gym changing rooms and tell you that you should have a baby, right? Are you kidding me?

And putting their household waste down the toilet. Yeah, probably. Absolutely would. Oh, I reckon every woman once in their life had been told they had lovely childbearing hips. Yeah. Cue to the next song. I don't want to talk about it.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Radio New Zealand. Yes. Released data. Sorry, Trade Me released data to RNZ. They were looking into the top high-paying jobs. Did Radio New Zealand take a break from playing filth, did they? Yeah, I saw that there.

They had some songs slip through swear words last week. Did they? What? Somebody requested a song from a night host and it was, it sounds like a folksy little country number and then it gets to a part. Filth. Filth. Filth.

There were a couple of songs. Filth. What's happening at the National Broadcaster? The word bussy was used. Now am I allowed to say that here? I don't know if you are. On commercial FM. No, I don't know if you are.

They shouldn't because they're the public broadcaster. Oh. No. What does it mean? Oh, right. I'm kidding. That's what will cross the line is if you describe what it means. Oh, gotcha. I was going to say, you know.

I was going to say, you know. I thought you meant is it a sign of the times that Radio New Zealand is playing songs with Bussi in it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's too much. I've said it again.

Stop saying it. I'm scared of it. Stop saying it. Are you scared of the Bussi? I'm scared of it. I'm scared. I can't. Stop.

Stop saying Bussi. Well. Back to you, please. They were looking at working from home. And a lot of people are doing this. But about 45% of businesses were offering flexible working, down from 60. So the opportunities are kind of getting a little bit less. 14% of employees said it's one of their top five priorities when looking for a job or considering a role. And also Seek, who do the job ads,

they said that work from home jobs were at 8.9% down from 10.3% last September. So the opportunities to work from home are less, but they've come up with the top 10 working from home roles and their pays. Oh, yes. So based on financial. So I'll start at 10. Accountants. Accountants. Oh, yes. So based on financial. So I'll start at 10. Accounts.

Accountants. Working from home. Our accountant. Yeah, we've all got the same accountant, don't we? She works from home. We do, she. She works from home. With the average salary being $91,000.

Okay. But that's not a job. You've got to be trained in that. And you've got to be able to look at a page of numbers without just like zoning out which I don't know know how to do Excel every time I have to Google

how to automatically add the cells at the bottom the sum of cells yeah then you just highlight the ones you want to do yeah and then you go

auto sum anyway it's embarrassing there's literally a shortcut for it I don't know I don't use it that much it's okay

government and council jobs are number nine on the list. Working for a local government or a council. Okay. With the average salary of $93,500. Okay, we're getting up. Water and waste engineering. A lot of those jobs you're able to work from home.

I don't know how. Water and waste engineering. Like poos, poos pipes. Poos pipes. But you've got to get your elbow in there. Well, I would have thought so too. Average salary of $95,000. HR and recruitment is $10,987 on the list.

Just a little bit of backwards counting there. HR and recruitment. Yeah. Well, that's our friend Big Hearted James, isn't it? Yep. He's in it. So it's a lot of just emails, isn't it? A lot of emails and calls.

Just emails. Yeah, so I mean you can do that from home. Business development manager and sales, next on the list. What does that even mean? Just selling shit. Business development manager sounds like they're going to be talking a lot of jargon and junk.

$98,000 the average salary. Jesus. Next on the list, programming and development, IT. 109,000 average salary and most of those jobs- You sat at a laptop. Yeah, working from home.

Next on the list is also IT, business and systems analysts. What does that mean? That sounds like the kind of job- Is that something you could do? It's the kind of job that you put and that your best friend has and you'll never understand

what it is. Nah. Give me the title. Business and Systems Analyst IT. Yeah, I could do that. Hi, I'm Hayley. I work in Business and Systems Analysts and IT.

Well, it's more than just being able to say you can do it. No, I can do it. What's the issue you have? None of my computer won't work. Oh, pass it over to me.

I'll get Steve onto it. Okay. Or delegation. Delegation. You reckon you could do that just delegating everything? I'll just get Steve onto it. You need to train for that. I can see in this system we've got some real productivity loss points.

Okay. Oh, you're using some buzzwords. You know I am and I didn't even know what they meant. And I can see if, I'll get Steve down here. Okay. And I'll run a couple of points past him. I believe we can increase productivity at 82%. Can we just circle back a little bit to what you were first saying

and we just bounce around on that idea a little bit. Yes. Leslie's a blue sky thinking. I think there's more to it than that. I don't. What? What? Next on the list of the highest paid working from home jobs.

Oh, we're at home doing this. I'm in my knickers. I'm also in my undies when we're talking. Civil and structural engineers. Average salary of $117,000. Have you used engineers for our house? No. You can't.

No. Well, once in a while. It's so hard to get over to the house, though. I suppose most of the time you could just be at home. Yeah, and your jobs. Next on the list are project and contracts management, construction and roading. Piece of cake.

I can manage your projects. You want some Ashlot? That's what you want. And then just call Fulton Hogan and be like, take some of that black tarry stuff down the road. We need you to take

12 more people than are required. And we need you to shut off the entire road. Need a lot of people standing around. A lot of road cones. One job per person. Let's get some hotties on this side as well.

I could do that. And the important thing is at least two of them have a durry hanging out their mouth. How many people are we pissing off right now just saying this? They're the same people that probably listen to the radio and be like, I could do that with my mate Steve. Who's also in IT.

All they do is talk. Chuckles, mate. Yeah, you're not even as funny as Dave. Dave's a hoot down on the Fulton Huggins side. I bet he's a hoot. That was number two on the list.

Number one. I bet I can do this without even hearing it. Okay, the biggest paying job and the most ability to work from home. Yeah. Project management IT.

Oh my gosh, man. 130,000. I think we've already proven we can. Hey, Fletch, how are you going on those spreadsheets? You're really good. Oh, good.,000. I think we've already proven we can. Hey, Fletch, how are you going on those spreadsheets? You're really good.

Oh, good. Managed. Consider yourself managed. Do you have access to the printer? No, but would you? Oh, I'll get Steve to sort that. Oh, that'd be great, yeah. Oh, Steve's just doing a podcast with Dave and Fortnite.

Also, we don't have any Wi-Fi. Because they're so hard, guys. He's so funny. Because they're so hard, guys. There's no Wi-Fi in the studio. Can you get us some more routers? Mate, could I what? Oh, fantastic.

I'll pop down there. Oh, fantastic. You know me, last week on a personal night, I popped down to PB Tech and bought a bloody mesh booster, didn't I? You did, yeah. I'm managing my own home IT. Shit, that's good. Also, if your internet and computer stops working in the next five minutes.

I'll fix it myself. I went and got some printer ink. I'd say you pissed someone off. I replaced the ink in my printer. That's managing IT, isn't it? My own personal IT. Well, there you go. You've got to do it.

How much am I making? $130,000 a year. I'll turn it off and turn it on again. And I get to stay at home. Yeah. Flicking on and off switches. I'm going to be flicking my switch on and off. I'm going to have to stay at home.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Well, he's 79 years old. He's been in politics for as long as I can remember. I always remember as a kid he was carrying around a wine box. Yeah, the wine box inquiry. He had to trickle the wine and then he filled that with an inquiry. I can't remember what that was about, but he's always been around Winston Peters and

he hates the mainstream media. Yeah, he hates. He's gone on that populist Trump take on the media because they out him for silly things and then he's like, no, they're wrong because they're dumb. Are we mainstream media? We're definitely mainstream media. Are we? Yeah, you're definitely mainstream.

Because I've always been an alternative girl. Nah, you've joined the mainstream media. Well, I hate to say it, but you're one of us. One of us. No. One of us. But I'm all cool and gothy. I know you grew up wanting to work with Bomber on Channel Z.

Man, I did. You can't have every dream, Hayley. I listen to him every night. Yeah, I know. Me old mate. That tickled you, didn't it? It really tickled me. Winnie P, the racing minister, says he was not

rushed a decision on whether to ban greyhound racing for the fear of the government ending up in court. Appearing before a select committee on Tuesday morning, Winston Peters also declared that dogs love racing. And he urged his fellow MPs to watch dogs in the wild. Yeah, but dogs

do love racing. They love running in the wild, but they don't love racing on a track. Yeah, no, they don't. Put in cages and aren't they like

muzzled? There have been a lot of like deaths. And weren't some of them fed meth? There was a couple of bad eggs.

Yeah. Yeah. And then that woman said, no, I didn't feed my horse meth. The was it. Horses and greyhounds. A couple of bad eggs. Yeah. And then that woman said, no, I didn't feed my horse meth. The horse must have smelt the meth while someone was smoking meth outside. I think she basically summarising was saying, don't blame me for my horse's addiction. Yeah. He's his own horse. He was sniffing up my

residue meth. Well, I talked to Winston Peters yesterday. Oh, did you? For legal purposes, no. But for satirical presentation and I hope you find humorous reasons, yeah, I had a sit down with Winston Peters

and I said, I didn't know you could talk to animals. And he said, Vaughn, here are the top six other insightful things that animals have told me, Winston Peters.

Number six on the list. He's like, I was talking to some orcas and some dolphins. Love living in small tanks. Do they? I don't think they do. No, he talked to them.

Tilikum. Tilikum. Tilikum. He didn't. Famously. That's right. Remember that dog? What was that called?

Blackfish. Blackfish. I can't bring one. I did not. And then Vaughan went to SeaWorld in San Diego. He didn't tell anyone. He didn't tell anyone.

We went to the zoo instead. Sure. Yeah. And then Christine. They couldn to SeaWorld in San Diego. My dad didn't tell anyone. We went to the zoo instead. Sure. Ian and Christine. They couldn't. I was like, mum, SeaWorld's a no-no. It's the equivalent of riding elephants, which is number five on the list. And she's like, no, no, no, it's fine. We're going for the rides and the shows.

I was like, the shows of what? She's like, the whales. It's wild. And we're going for the rides and the shows. I was like, the shows of what? She's like, the whales. It's wild. Oh God. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other insightful

animal insights Winston Peters told me yesterday when we were smoking cigars, drinking whiskey and betting on the dogs. Oh, fun. Number five, elephants love

giving asshole tourists a ride on their back in Southeast Asia. Do they? They love it. They live for it. Have you still got those photos on your Instagram? I removed them.

Did you? You what? I removed them. I saw someone who I thought would have known better recently riding an elephant. And I was like, is this historic? Is this like back in 2005? These people don't have jobs that they can be cancelled over for something like that. No.

That's us. Regardless. Regardless of my occupation. People don't care. I'm not riding an elephant. I know, but people don't care, do they? Most people, the majority of people don't care. We went to an elephant sanctuary.

We put in literally, I was so worried about like the whole situation. I put in more research into finding the like most ethical one where it's rehomed elephants from the logging industry and no one touches them. Yeah, that's what we did. They can touch you if they want and they can swim and you get to sit there. You can feed them if you want. You feed them some stuff and they're all.

More research than I did buying a house or a car. Yeah. They do not like being ridden. Number four on the list of the top six other insightful animal insights Winston Peters had for me over a whiskey, a ciggy and some bets on some dogs.

On some doggie dogs. Minx. You know minx? Yeah. A small mustelid type creature. Love being raised especially to be killed and turned into coats and other furs. Because you've got an old fur coat, don't you? You're vintage though. Which is allowed.

Vintage is allowed. I should have a different time. Oh yeah, okay, it's different times. It would be more wasteful and disrespectful to the animal to throw it out now after it gave its life. Yeah, it's already gave its life. But I... I didn't have it commissioned. No.

Okay. Fake furs. Yeah. But not real furs. Yeah, because I only do faux leather. My leather jacket is faux leather. No, you do that because you're a budger. You do that because you're a cheapo.

Yeah, but your pleather. Your pleather was purely a budget choice. Pleather is not an ethical choice. Not for the world. Number three on the list of the top six other insightful animal thoughts Winston Peters shared with me. He's imagining me in a full pleather. I'd like to see it.

Including a little daddy hat. Yes. Little daddy leather cap. Little daddy cheese cutter. Yeah. And the tightest leather, almost legging. Almost a legging. Hot stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be bloody hot, all right? You'll be sweating up a storm in that pleather. Number three on the list Of the top six Other animal thoughts Winston Peters Shared with me yesterday Over a couple of whiskies

A couple of ciggies And a few dollars On the dogs You know It's the civets In South East Asia They love living In small cages

Eating unprocessed Raw coffee beans And then shitting out Coffee beans To be processed Into coffee Oh yeah They love being East Asia, they love living in small cages, eating unprocessed raw coffee beans, and then shitting out coffee beans to be processed into coffee. Oh, yeah. They love being jacked up the entire time. In Bali? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. That's pretty horrible seeing them in there. They're in tiny cages. Yeah. And they just, if you imagine being fed nothing but coffee, you'd have the shits too. Oh, yeah. So they don't like it? They don't like it?

No, they love it! Oh, they do like it. Winnie P says, have you tasted that sweet, delicious Southeast Asian coffee? You can taste the love. Right. Number two on the list of the top six things Winston Peters told me that animals have told him.

Yesterday when we were drinking a few too many whiskeys, smoking a couple of cigarettes, and betting on the dogs. You know, bulls love fighting against humans with swords and capes. Oh, do they? They are thrilling for them. But sometimes they get really hurt. I know, but it shows that they were down for it.

I always love when one of the matadors gets some horns in the groin. Dude, I love a horn. A horn groin. A horn groin. I love a horn groin. Or they're like, oh, I've dropped my cape. And they try to run away

and the bull's like, horn up your ass. Oh, yeah. Straight up your ass. It'll teach you. I like it. But the bulls, Winston told me they love it.

Oh, they love it. Okay. Interesting. They love it. And number one on the list of the top six things Winston Peters told me yesterday, it. Okay. Interesting. They love it. And number one on the list of the top six things Winston Peters told me yesterday that the animals told him directly

is, by the way, I don't know if you know this, but yesterday when I was talking to him we were having a couple of whiskies, smoking a few cigarettes, and do you know what else we were doing?

Betting on the dogs. Betting on the dogs. Betting on them hounds. Can I bet on that dog? Who love running. the dogs. Betting on the dogs. Betting on them hounds. Can I bet on that dog? Who love running. Love running. Watch them in the wild. Tell me a dog doesn't look

happy as Lowry when it's chasing a ball. I've never seen a sad greyhound. Never. Never. They're always the friendliest, happiest dogs.

They're cold. They're shaking with anticipation and they're happy. They're shaking with joy. Yeah. Number one on the list of that that list of things

that Winston Peters told me about them animals he told me cows pigs chickens sheep

goats and fish love giving up their lives so we have a nice protein for our meals oh my god thank god because I love to eat them I do too

I love to eat them oh my god thank god and Winston said he was speaking to some who were super happy to make the sacrifice yeah nice and who were super happy to make the sacrifice. Yeah, nice. And I'm super happy to take the sacrifice.

Well, it would be a waste. I'll eat all the wings. You eat the wings? I'll eat the wings. You're going to eat the wings? Okay. I'll hit the legs. I'll hit the breasts.

I'll hit the thighs. You can have the dry breasts. Yeah, I know, but you already took the legs, so I'm left with the scrappy breasts. Yeah. Scrappy. Meaty, but dry. It I'm left with the scrappy breasts. Yeah. Scrappy. Meaty, but dry. It'll be dry if you don't cook it right. That is today's Top 6.

Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Now, I am going to talk about the female genitalia here. Oh, okay. Okay. That's some of my favourite genitalia. Oh, okay. You want to stay?

Some of? Yep. You'd say it's not your number one? While I'm mine, you prefer your own? Would you go number one, your own genitals, and then number two, any other females? Not any other females. What are you out to, get me in a whole world of hurt and trouble?

No, my wife's lovely, lovely genitals. Okay, right. She's got lovely, lovely genitals. Number one on the Vaughan Smith rankings. My own. Your wife's. And then my wife's. And then other various.

Well, I've seen some other. Yes. It would be my preferred genital. The documentary ones that you see. I'm a huge fan of short docos. Yeah. I think I would choose my own genitals over Aaron's genitals as well. Would you?

Yeah, I think so. Whose genitals are you picking? Mine. I'm number one. Yeah, your own genitals should be number one on your genital ranking. Yeah, because other people can have fun with it, but you can also have fun with it. All the time. And it serves me well.

And it's always there. And it's always yours, and it's just yours to have and to hold. Maybe some people, their partner's genitals are their number one. Wake up. Get a new hobby. Wake up. Stop being so selfless. Duh, McFly.

So apparently in the last couple of years, more than half a million Australians have had or considered getting a designer vagina. Getting labiaplasty in which you would trim de lim your inner, your menorahs. Okay. And it's on the rise. Like, and it's such a massive way. It used to be like people would only get it for medical reasons, but now most people just get it for cosmetic reasons.

Ouchie. Wow. Is it the same reason that during COVID and all the lockdowns and all the video calls that people wanted work on their faces? Yeah, kind of. A lot of it they're blaming adult content because a lot of adult stars have had labiaplasty before. Really?

And they set a standard, an unrealistic standard. And yeah, they did all this research, like asking young people whether or not they were happy with their genitals. And obviously we all are. It's our number one genital. I don't know what I'd have done if I was. Maybe you could grow your forey back. No.

What do you want those for? If you really set your mind to it, I reckon you could. Well, just think it back. You could get a forey back. No! What do you want those for? If you really set your mind to it, I reckon you could. Just think it back. You could get a forey surgery. No way! You'd get an attachment. What was it attached to? I don't know how they'd attach it.

I don't know how you wear it. Medical glue, maybe. You'd have to stitch it to the... You're just using yours to mislead people on length. That looks great, and then, oh God, it was all four-y. I mean, you know, what you see is what you get. Oh God. I thought when you measured it, I thought that was it.

You're including the... He includes the foreskin. And there's a lot of it. They don't call them the anteater for nothing. Would you get anything done? Nah. Nah. Do you know why? Yeah, what would you? Obviously so many people want. Look, I've taught,

if you don't, I've described almost in near detail my genitalia on sex.life. And it sounded lovely. I know. And me and Morgan. I don't know if you can say that. I know that you're good friends. Oh, and it sounded lovely. I know. And me and Morgan. I don't know if you can say that. I know that you're good friends. I've shown my vagina to your wife.

Yeah. And she said it looked lovely. Okay. HR may want to talk to you after that comment. I'm just saying. Oh, what? A man can't say that vagina you've described sounds lovely anymore? What am I supposed to say?

What workmates to another can't say. A gentleman to a friend can't say the vagina that you've just described in detail

sounds tremendous. That's a tremendous sounding vulva. Well, thank you. I know on the podcast and Morgan talks about this all the time.

We talk about it all the time. Yeah. About innies and outies and bits and bobs and lots of people aren't into it. There's a text message I'd like you guys to try to call. You're not too busy. I'm in here complimenting Hayley's lovely sounding vagina. Thank you. Working so hard, vulva.

Not talking about the inside. Now, because we had a comment from some person, a fellow vagina lover, and he messaged into me and Morgan and said, some vaginas are so excited to meet you, they just come out to say hello a little early. And I thought that was the best way to describe a little outie. Some of them are just so excited to meet you, they just come out to say hello a little early. And I thought that was the best way to describe a little outie.

Some of them are just so excited to meet you, they're like, hey. They pop out to say hello. But also with these labiaplasties, there's a huge risk of, and this is why I would never even consider it, of numbing afterwards. So you would lose some sensation.

Which you don't want. You can damage nerves. Well, what's its purpose otherwise? Mine serves one purpose as someone who's not planning on having children. Yeah. It can look all good, but yeah, if you're not getting the enjoyment out of it. Yeah. So I think we're trying to get her on the phone.

We're trying to get someone's message in saying I'm a female plastic surgeon who does a lot of labiaplasties. Sometimes it's functional. Like if it's causing discomfort or physical suffering, absolutely. But this study is showing that that's a very small percentage of these labiaplasties that are on the rise in Australia.

It's like elective. Yeah, it's elective. Right. Do they get them done in Australia or are they? No, is it one of those destination surgeries? Like a turkey or Thailand? You wouldn't take your turkey giblets to Turkey, would you? You wouldn't.

You wouldn't take the rest. Not with that dry lamb. No. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We were just talking. Just discussing that labiaplasties, or the surgery in which people get their inner labia trimmed,

is on the rise in Australia. Half a million people? Half a million people last year. And we mentioned that we've got a plastic surgeon we were trying to get hold of. Dr. McKenzie joins us. Good morning. Good morning.

Nice talking to you again, guys. Oh, we're back. We had you on the show years ago and we asked you heaps of questions about plastic surgery. I've got some personal questions I'd like to ask, but maybe I'll get a quote off you later. Off the line, yes. We're like a builder popping around for a quote.

Yeah, pop around for a quote, have a look at the project. So we said, we talked about this news story out of Australia. Is this something that's happening in New Zealand as well? Oh, very much indeed. So, for example, the American Association of Plastic Surgeons and International Association of Plastic Surgeons, they perform a kind of survey every year.

And we have noticed that labiaplasty surgery is definitely on the rise. So I think it's quite an international trend. Right. And do you think that lots of it is because of, you know, explicit imagery and pornography that we see? Well, I'm sure there is a role of social media when it comes to labiaplasty. But I think awareness, you know,

I think we talked last time, you know, the thought about plastic surgery changes. There's not so much taboo around it. And I think, and people talk about it. You know, I have patients who come and they say, look, you performed the surgery for my friend. It was life changing. So people talk about it.

And I think the awareness has increased, plus the role of social media. There's no question about it. But what I disagree with is the term called designer vagina. Designer vagina. If I'm really honest with you, because majority of labiaplasties I perform, if not all of them, are done because of the functional discomfort that my patients suffer from. And yes, you know, the aesthetic outcome, I would say there's a collateral advantage. But, you know, I have had professional cyclists who would come for labiaplasty and they were not able to train. I have had horseback riders. I had young ladies trying to train for rowing, you know, sitting.

I once did a spin class with Fletch here and I did. I sat down on a lip and I yelped. I yelped. And he looked at me and he said, what just happened? I said, I just clipped a lip. Yes, and, you know know they started from irritation you know painful intercourse for example cycling

and of course self consciousness you know there are patients who like wearing bikinis they say oh I can't wear a bikini because they will slip out or wearing tight leggings so these are the functional indications for labiaplasty. And believe it or not, this is like a breast reduction. It is a life-changing surgery,

at least for my population of patients who come and see me. Now, breast lifts, they're quite complicated because I have been Googling them. They're quite complicated, aren't they, a breast lift? Almost a breast implant is easier. I think, darling, I think you make it sound complicated. So, of course, there are different techniques used. So, it depends on the technique

we use. So, you know, in experienced hands, it is not a complicated surgery. But it is a surgery, you know, and it's definitely a very personal choice. And there are some risks associated. So, you know, that needs to be taken into account as well. I will take that into account in a couple of years, I reckon. Give me a couple of years and there are some risks associated. So, you know, that needs to be taken into account as well.

I will take that into account in a couple of years, I reckon. Give me a couple of years and I'll be giving you a phone call to get these puppies. I may not be in New Zealand, I'm kidding, but... You can always email me.

Oh, amazing. Dr. McKenzie, thank you so much. That's great insight. So fascinating. Great insight. Great to have you back on the show again. Thank you so much. I guess you'd say

if you were considering it, just do good research. Do some good research. Oh, like with any surgery, you know, with any surgery, you have to do research. Make sure you are seeing a qualified specialist. Yes.

And know the risks. That's what I would say. But it is not a vagina surgery. That's why I sent you the text. I like it. No, thank you for coming on. It's a vagina surgery if I'm honest with you. More than just a designer vagina.

Thank you so much, Dr. McKenzie. Amazing. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Would your favourite celebrity endorsing a politician change how you vote? Is today's Silly Little Poll. And the answer, overwhelmingly no. 91% of people said no.

9% of people said yes. Because there's kind of, was it, Donald Trump was talking about Taylor Swift the other week. And people then, that kind of made people think, come on, Taylor Swift has to come out before the election and say who she's voting for. And that might influence people. That might help Joe Biden. Yeah. If Jason Momoa, your number one celebrity, came out and said before the next election, I'm team David Seymour. Yeah.

Oh, no. Would you then have to break it off with... This is a real Sophie's choice. Would you then have to break it off with Momoa? Or quietly vote for David Seymour? Yeah. What would the choice be there? Do you think, you know, maybe some of our listeners enjoy David Seymour's politics?

Well, 5% of New Zealand did David Seymour's politics. Maybe... Well, 5% of New Zealand did, and I don't think a huge amount of that 5% is listening to us. Is listening to us. I choose death. I can't. That is a terrible hypothetical. I can't talk. Some feedback. Coop

says, no, but it might change how I feel about the celebrity. Yeah, true. Briley says, I voted no, but actually if it was Taylor Swift, then yes, I'm not into no, but it might change how I feel about the celebrity. Yeah, true. Briley says, I voted no, but actually if it was Taylor Swift, then yes, I'm not into politics, but I know she's all for the right things, so I would totally trust her knowledge and understanding over my own. Interesting. Jesus. She does take a private jet to the supermarket.

Yeah, she does. She's got problematic cats. Kate, no celebrity crush would survive endorsement of David Seymour. Someone just texted in, we love the ACT Party. I think you're being silly. I think you might be being silly. Hamish said, no, Fletch, I won't vote ACT for you.

No, says Mason, everyone's entitled to their own thoughts and opinions, no matter how wrong they are. Yeah. Oh, that's democracy. If my favourite celebrity, you mean you guys, then probably yes. All right. Jessica, I've always been told to vote for policy, not people. Whether or not those policies come to fruition is a different story.

A party's policy should reflect how you would like to invoke change. That's smart. That's smart. That's a good way of looking at it. It is. If my favourite celebrity started to endorse Christopher Luxton. Christopher. I like you.

I would block them. Okay. And my favourite celebrity in New endorse Christopher Luxton. Christopher. I like you. I would block them. Okay. And my favourite celebrity in New Zealand is Hailey Sprouse, so never let me down. Although she loves the marks. That's what she says. I've got a little Chloe Swarbrick cut out looking right at me here. Alicia says my favourite celebrity is Chloe Swarbrick.

So, yeah. For the looks or the policies? Both. What's one of her policies? Be hot all day. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Right now, though, it's Shannon's Hacks.

Now. Five stars max for Shannon's Hacks. That's all you get. We're yet to get a good hack. She's the human version of those stupid five minute hacks videos it's always trying to ram down your throat it's always pour concrete in something dry bag concrete

and then spray it with water not as structurally sound as a wet nuts concrete Shannon what's your hack today so it's about weddings ok this is good I'm engaged to be wed and obviously weddings are very expensive. And in this

Cosy Live and Cry, I've got a hack for you to make your wedding cheaper. Okay. One of the most expensive parts of a wedding is the alcohol. And some people get a bit weird about a cash bar. Some people get a bit judgmental. Don't invite me if there's a cash bar. Don't invite me

to the middle of nowhere in a bloody big tent if you're going to make me pay $9.50 a drink. Okay, so see this kind of attitude? This is what I'm going to get rid of with this hack. Okay. So you say, once everyone arrives at the wedding, hey, this is a dry bar.

There's no alcohol being served. There is not one drop of alcohol. Wait, you were waiting until I get to the wedding. Hang on. Just clarification. You're not telling me until I get to the wedding. Hang on. Just clarification. You're not telling me until I get to the wedding it's dry. Yes, because otherwise people might not show up. No, I'm 100% storming out. I'm angry. But hear me out, please.

The hack is not done. I'm angry. So people show up and you're like, it's a dry bar. Everyone's a bit annoyed. And then you secretly get an auntie or someone else to start selling alcohol for $6, $7 a glass. Shannon, this sucks. Shannon, this is dumb.

This is zero, zero and going down into the negatives. You're ripping off your friends. If you don't turn around in the next 10 seconds, I'm going into the negatives. No, but then you're making the money back on it and people don't think it's a cash bar. Minus one. They think they're getting a deal. No, they will never. This is what they'll do.

We'll go to your wedding, right? You do this. Yeah. Our group chat is, oh my God, that was the dumbest wedding I've ever been to. Can you believe they had a dry bar and then that stupid crazy auntie was charging us money? That is BS. No, but wouldn't you feel like I've just won? No, I'd be so embarrassed.

And where's auntie keeping all those booze to booze up as many guests as you've got? Just under the table, I guess. No. So she's auntie keeping all those booze to booze up as many guests as you've got? Just under the table, I guess. No. So she's just like, have you ever seen, have you ever packed in a wedding where someone. David Bost wine? Where it's one of those awesome weddings where you get to bring your own booze. B-Y-O. All right.

But you see how many bottles of wine. It's like you're accounting for like a bottle of wine per person. That's a hundred bottles of wine auntie's got under her desk. Shannon, this is your worst one yet. This is negative one. It's negative one. No, but it's saving you money. I'm giving this zero stars.

Zero stars. Negative one stars. Wow. Okay, so on average, what's the average for that? Just zero? Zero. You've lost all privilege to future hacks. You're going to have to save this with a good hack.

I've got a bonus hack, a little one. Okay, what? If you've got a cowlick in your hair, you can get eyebrow lamination kits and laminate your cowlick. You're talking to two bald men here and you're trying to turn it around. Zero.

You're trying to turn it around in a room full of bald people. Negative two. Terrible. Terrible hack. You've got a week. You've got a week to give us a good hack. Otherwise, there's no more Shannon's hacks. Yeah, we'll cancel the segment. It's not going to be worth our time if we're hearing hacks like this.

Max for Shannon's hacks. What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? Welcome to What's Your Jobby? Megan is first up. Good morning, Megan. Hi.

Welcome to What's Your Jobby? We're going to ask you three questions about your job, and if we can guess, $100. If not, we're going to move on to the next caller. Easy. Megan, do you wear a uniform for work? Yes. Straight in.

Boom. Nurse. Radiologist. Oh, okay. Radiologist. Don't tell us yet, Megan. Don't tell us. Did you have to study to obtain the job that you have?

No. Oh, shit. Okay, okay. So that rules out like nurse or radiologist. Or teacher or... See, I can't get it out of my head. She works at like Mitre Channel Bunnings or something now. Yeah.

You can't get that out. Or like food. No. Oh, no, no, no? No. No, no, no. No. That wasn't a question. That wasn't a question. Well, that was a freebie, wasn't it?

We got a freebie. She said kind of though. Okay. Okay. What's your question, Hayley? I've done it. I've done it. I asked her.

You study. Warren, you're up. Yeah. Do you? Hold on. don't answer I'm going to talk to my chums here I prefer you say colleagues Not friends or chums

Let's have a co-flab I don't want to say in service but like helping people Do you assist people? Yeah, don't want to say in service, but like helping people? Do you reckon that's a, do you assist people? Yeah, but that could be a shop assistant. I know, and it's too wide. No, it's too wide. It's too wide.

I was trying to think, are we helping older people? Yeah. Because you kind of work with food. You're going to need to take a stab in the dark to narrow it down. Where's a uniform? Yeah, where's a uniform? No formal training required. Kind of works with food sometimes. Could's a uniform? Yeah, where's a uniform? No formal training required. Kind of works for food sometimes.

Could be a parking warden. You know, walks past a muffin shop. Yeah, that's sort of working with food, isn't it? Or tickets, a bread truck. Oh, I don't know. Or she could walk past McCafe. Great things are brewing on the go. Yeah.

Oh, shoot. She could be a McDonald's worker. No, because she kind of works with food. Oh, that's heavily working with food. That's heavily working. That's predominantly food-based. Food-orientated. Heavily working with food.

Okay, okay. Courier. Courier. Delivers food. Courier. Oh. That's so good. And they were a uniform.

And they would deliver food every now and then. Yeah. Okay, lock it in. Lock it in. What am I just going? Are you a courier? No, no, no. Now we're down because then we get to ask if you're a courier.

Do you drive a vehicle for your work? Yes. Yes, I do. Oh, oh. Okay. Gotta be courier. Gotta be courier. Uniform.

Uniform. Megan, is your jobby a courier? Not really. I'm a milk delivery lady. Oh! Milk. Milk is kind of food. Yeah, I get that. But it milk delivery lady. Milk. Milk is kind of food. Yeah, I get that.

But it's more drink. Yeah. So close, O'Vaughn. That was really good. That was quite philosophical. Does that deserve a horse? Milk is kind of food, but more a drink. Are you?

Whereabouts? Whereabouts are you doing your thing? I'm in Hawke's Bay, and I start at four in the morning. Good on you. You do a great job. Do you listen to the show every morning, Megan? Yes, I do. I love it.

Thanks, Megan. Round of applause. I'd love to ring the bell for you, Megan. Thanks for listening to us every morning and choosing ZM as your way to wake up with the crew. We love having you. Kelsey, good morning. Welcome to What's Your Jobby. Morning, guys.

Now, you're on the road. I can hear you're on the road. Yeah. So maybe into the office. Can you just tell us what you ate for breakfast? I'd like to hear her voice. Wait, is that one of the questions? No, no, no, no.

I just want to hear her voice. I don't reckon she's had breakfast yet. I have. I've had Newley. With milk delivered by Megan. There you go. Thanks again, Megan, for choosing to listen to the show I'm recording. Okay, do you have a physically active job?

It sounds like a no. No. It sounds like a no. No. It sounds like a no. So it was a really good question. So I'm going to assume it's office space. Yeah. She's sitting. Do you, the qualifications is always a good question. Yep, hit it.

Do you, did you require formal qualifications for your job? Yes. Okay, so she studied. She studied. Maybe like doctor-y because sometimes you're sort of sitting, you're kind of up a little bit. Because she was like, you know, with the physical thing. Yeah.

It could be a medical. And she had to study and she was sure on that. Well, should I just ask if she works in a hospital then? No. Or a medical centre. No, narrow it down. Dipshits. Too specific. Narrow it down. Dipshits.

Too specific. Narrow it down. Don't get... Don't call me names. You are a dip. Followed by a... Um... What about working with people? Shall I say,

do you work with people? Directly with people. Do you work directly with people? Yes. She's a doctor or a nurse. A doctor or a nurse. Do you think she works in the medical? She ate muesli for breakfast,

and you know nine out of ten doctors do recommend a full cereal breakfast. Yeah. With full cow's milk. I think she's a GP. You think she's a GP? Oh, really? I think she's a GP. Is our friend Dr. Shawnee on the road this early?

He's not up this early. But he's a lazy doctor. He's a lazy GP. He's a lazy son of a bitch. He is going to be so angry. The reason his first appointment of the day is half an hour before, after what he said it would be is because he's a lazy bastard. He's a lazy bastard.

I think Kelsey is a GP. I think Kelsey is a medical professional. You think she's in the medical profession? Are you going to say, okay, are you a medical professional? Can I say medical professional? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it, do it. Okay, Kelsey.

No, but that's kind of like. Should I just say doctor? Because that could be anything, but it rules out nurse or midwife. Okay. Okay, Kelsey, are you, is your jobby a doctor? No. Oh, I felt so sure. You did feel so sure about that. What's your jobby a doctor? No. Oh, I felt so sure. You did feel so sure about that.

What's your jobby? I'm a physio and I work in the hospital. You guys are very close. We were getting the tingles. We were getting the medical tingles. We got the medical tingles there. We're so close on both. I said, do you have a physical job?

And you said no. That was good. I mean, that's the most physical job. Thank you for your service, Kelsey. Thank you for choosing to listen to the show. Thank you, Kelsey. I'm going to saw back, Kelsey. She's gone.

We're going to Jamie. Good morning, Jamie. Good morning. How are you? Really good, thanks. I'm hearing something. What are you hearing? It was authority.

What are you hearing? Authority. Good morning, thank you. She's like a site manager. Oh, or a police officer. We had a police officer that we didn't guess last time. Do you remember that? But also, she could be a teacher.

She's on the way to work, so she's not a lazy doctor. Not a lazy doctor. Born. Jeez. Okay, Jamie. Do you... Are you on your feet for most of the day? Yes, sometimes.

Oh, hello, darling. Hello, child. Okay. On the feet most of the day. But not like... It doesn't sound like she's running around. No. Like it was like, yeah, there's some standing and some walking.

Yeah. Involved. She's dropping off a like, yeah, there's some standing and some walking. Yeah. Involved. She's dropping off a child, I believe, I reckon, to some sort of daycare situation

before she goes to work. Are you in charge? Are you in charge of a lot of people? Yes. Humans. Yes. You heard it.

You heard it. I'm sensing teacher. Yeah, I reckon teacher. I'm getting big teacher energy. I reckon teacher. Because the way, when you were like,

good morning, she was like, good morning, how are you? Like it was very Speaking to me like a seven year old Do you work with children? No no

Because we've established She works with a lot of people Let's assume it's children Okay You've got to ask a question that Okay Are you good at maths? Should that be my question?

No don't answer that Sorry I'm not good at Shift work What if it's Not shift work Something about shift work? No because we've established

She's on the way to work now. Yeah, but she might be on day shift this week. Oh, my God. No, but she works with people, so it wouldn't be... No. She works with people. But you could be a nurse on night shift. Yeah.

Are you... I'm just going to... I'm going to go... Do you send people to the principal's office? Yes. Do you send people to the principal's office if they're naughty? Yes. Oh, we got it.

We got it. She's a teacher. Are you a teacher? I'm not a thinker. Are you a teacher? Yeah! That's your jobie. That's your jobie.

That's your jobie. That's your jobie. She's a teacherie She's a teacher She's a teacher Who do you teach Jamie? Who? What age range? Years 7 and 8

Oh just about to become teenagers Intermediate That's when I started becoming a little shite Jamie $100 for winning What's your jobie Congratulations Thank you for your service as well of becoming a little short. Yeah. Jamie, $100 for winning What's Your Jobby. Yes! Congratulations. Yay!

Thank you for your service as well. Thank you for choosing ZM in the morning. Yes, thank you very much. God, it's great to have you all with us this morning. Clay, ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I would say the last, like, 10 years have been all about the girl boss, you know? Sisters doing it for themselves, getting out there, being their own boss, working hard,

working hard for the money. And now, Gen Z, I was going to say, Gen Z, we are absolutely rejecting this. You're too old to be Gen Z. I said we. I said Gen Z, we are. So, does that make

me Gen Z? Is that what just happened? I just got younger? No, you didn't. I think so. I don't think so. Gen Z, we are. So does that make me Gen Z? Is that what just happened? I just got younger? No, you didn't. I think so. I don't think so. Gen Z. Azuma, I think is the term. How dare you?

That is a callback to about an hour ago and I'm upset about it. But now we know that like Gen Z's not into this. They're like, no, we're not doing that. We're rotting in bed. We're doing quiet quitting. We're like just doing the bare minimum. What's the job description?

I'll do that and nothing more. And now girl boss has literally been replaced with girl mossing, which is the act of going into a forest, finding some moss, crawling up, and being at one with nature. As a sort of an act of rebellion against girl bossing. Yeah. So this is like, hey. Nobody is doing this.

Nobody likes bugs. I'm telling they are. And like. They are literally women. Spiders. Going to the forests. The irony here is they're going to the forest. They're finding some moss.

They're being at one with nature, but they're making sure they get a snap. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they making a little snap? Moss is always wet. Moss. That's why it's moss. They're being at one with nature, but they're making sure they get a snap. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Making sure you get a little snap. Moss is always wet. Moss, that's why it's moss. Famously wet moss. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a wet moss. And it's full of bugs. Yeah. It's like a great little canopy for bugs and insects underneath the moss. And also, like, depending on what country you're in, snakes. Mmm.

Spiders. Yeah. So this is like, all around around the world there's different terms for this kind of rebellion against working hard. In China it's called tangping, which means lying flat. And when people tangping, they're just being like, I'm not doing that. I'm just lying down.

So the idea is you take the photo in the forest because you're not working. Because you're not working. You're lying down. You're with nature. Right, okay. You're doing the opposite of the corporate grind. Just trying to still have forests. I don't know. I think there's one or two still there. Well, why not take a photo on a beach somewhere? That's not working. Being led

by women, embracing the natural rhythms of decaying by lying down and doing nothing. How many people are actually doing this? It's huge. Really? It's everywhere. Really? There's so many pictures and posts on TikTok of

girls girl-mossing. Are you gonna girl-moss? Oh no, I've got nice clothes. I'd have to get a specific cheap t-shirt. What are they wearing? Aesthetic stuff. Like, I guess just put it in the wash. What are they wearing? Like aesthetic stuff. Like gym gear. What do they call that stuff?

No, no, not like cheap gym gear. She's just snuggled up to the edge of a tree. She looks like she's had too much to drink or magic mushrooms. She looks like someone from Wellington. Same kind of aesthetic. Halfway up Mount Cook or Mount Victoria.

That bit of one will make it two. Puffed. Puffed. Puffed from the big. No, you've got to nestle in. You're taking away the nurturing soil. You look bloody stupid. You do look silly.

You do. You look silly. Do you know what? Go to work. Yeah. 18 minutes away from eight. Next on the show, we want to talk about dating people for the perks. The perks of dating.

We've heard of polygamy. We've heard of, what was that one you said yesterday? Polygamy. Polygamy. Where you just tolerate cheating. Where you tolerate cheating. Yeah. Now there's hypergamy.

What's that? It's basically romance, but it brings luxury and perks along with it. And then people become more attracted to the perks of the person than the person giving the perks. So it's kind of like having a sugar mama or a sugar dada. The perks could be anything. It doesn't have to just be money, right? It could be like access to something.

They take you to events that you want to go to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a financial thing involved. Might be just a nice house. Maybe they work at Nonny's and you get nuggies at the end of the day. Oh, hey-o. Swing on by for the drive-thru. This is a thing.

Yeah? Yeah? People are dating up There's another way to do it Some people see it as just basically Dating someone who's A couple of steps up Someone messaged saying Have you heard of banging for roof Dating the guy so you've got somewhere nice to stay

What Maybe you've got like a crap flat Maybe you're in like an awful Dunedin Cold wet flat And you find someone with a nice house You're telling me you're not staying there every night? I would That's a good call

So out of everybody that they asked 47% of people said that they had a positive perception About this idea That they weren't against it Like having some perks when dating Yeah, god yeah had a positive perception about this idea, that they weren't against it. Like having some perks when dating. Yeah, God, yeah. I'm trying to think.

I mean, there's lots of perks that have come about, but I didn't date Aaron for his perks. I mean, the perk was he's tall. If someone was into you because of your perks. That's an attraction. That's not a perk. Oh, isn't it? It's what you're attracted to. But like if someone was attracted to you,

wouldn't you know that's why they were with you? That wouldn't be hot, right why they were with you? Yeah. That wouldn't be hot, right? Someone started dating me because of all the cool free stuff I get on radio. Like books and apples. So many apples.

Those are my latest little radio perks. We've still got some apples in the box if anybody wants to date. Yeah, but if you were dating us, then you wouldn't be able to get free apples.

So, well, this is what we wanted to ask you this morning. 0800 dials at M. You can text her as well. 9696. Have you dated someone for the perks? Yeah.

And what were the perks? And what were the perks? Yeah. How good were those perks? I reckon a lot of it is going to come down to the fact that they were rich and they could afford nice places to stay when you went away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the perks, eh?

But maybe they'd come home from work with a fresh loaf of bread. And you're like, I'm not saying we're not going anywhere. We don't have to shoot for the Maldives holidays. I'm just saying little perks also count as perks. Oh, yeah, like bakery owner, man. At the end of the day, you get little eclairs and cream buns. But dating a mechanic and they can, like, you're like, the engine light's on.

Dating a builder? I'll take care of it. Nah, dating a builder, they never build anything of their own. Because they get home, they're too tired. They can be bothered. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. We want to know if you're... You're in it for the perks.

Yeah, if you're currently with someone or you have been with someone just for the perks. Yeah're currently with someone Or you have been with someone Just for the perks And what were they? Yeah I didn't even think About the passport one I know

The residency message That's a big one That's a big one Yeah My friend was dating someone For three years So she could get a residency On the same year

She got a residency They broke up And she got back together With her ex, brought him to New Zealand and gave him a visa. The long game. That is a very long game. I'm assuming over the course

of three years, you are sleeping with this person as well, right? Yeah. And then got back together with her exes in quotations. So this was a plan. So for three years, you're off shagging someone else, being like,

What the hell? I will bring you to New Zealand. You think she's a Russian spy? I think so. In your head? In my head, it's a Russian spy. My husband always knows a guy who can do stuff for really cheap.

So my perk with my husband is he knows people. He knows a guy. Car tires, they were $400 each, mysteriously down to $100 each. Oh. We needed some new furniture.

My husband knows a guy. Our friend Dr. Shawnee has just messaged me saying, are you friends with me for the perks? Now, he hasn't obviously heard what you said about him earlier. We could have just let it slip. I'll say it again.

He's a lazy doctor. Hey, Dr. Shawnee, we did not stand by this, by the way. Hayley said, yes, he just keeps prescribing me hydrocortisone for all of her ailments. I said nothing of the kind. But you just asked him the other day to look at your back scans. Yeah, exactly. That's not lazy.

He's a great doctor. That's the perk. That's the perk. Yeah. And then he said, your back looks fine. Here's a prescription for hydrocortisone. You guys ask too much of him. What he really likes is being negged.

He does. He still talks to me and I do nothing but neg him for his crystals and his poor work effort. Yeah. I don't stand by any of this. My wife is with me for the perk of my average sized hoo-hoo grub. And horrible jokes.

Oh, my king, you must have something going on. There's got to be something there for us. We've gone all silly because I've got a sexy book in the studio and Vaughan's been reading it. But right now we want to focus on the perks. Yeah, are you dating or have you dated someone because of the perks? I once dated a guy that I really didn't like. This is a text message.

It's not in my story. Okay. Yeah. I've never dated a man. Yeah. I once dated a dude that I really didn't like at all, but he had staff travel perks with Air New Zealand. I could fly around the country.

Oh, my God. From next to nothing. I would love that. It was so good because it meant I didn't have to see him often. Yeah. Because he's always away. So that might kind of set up. Yeah.

Let's go to Anonymous. Anonymous, good morning. Have you dated someone because of the perks? I have. Okay. And what were the perks? So it turns out I went on, oh, sorry. He won a five-star resort trip over to Phuket.

And everything was paid. So, he didn't have to have any, well, unless we wanted spending money, that was pretty much all we needed. Okay. He won it off the radio, funny enough. Oh, wow. So, in regards to that, I found out he was cheating on me

with not just one person, really, but I was like, screw that, I'm going to go on this trip. And then I broke up with him. So you found out before you went on the trip

that he was cheating on you? I found out before and I was super mad about it, as you can imagine. But then I was like, this is only my one time in life. Yeah. And you like the shadows

and you like Phuket. Yes. Hell. Phuket. I'm not going to go. I'm thinking Caller of the Wake. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah.

I'm thinking Caller of the Wake because you got a free trip out of this. Yeah, do that. That's genius from you, actually. Yep. You got to go to Thailand. Free trip and a nonnies voucher. And that's the perks of dating us. Yeah.

We've got a $50 McCafe voucher. Thanks to our friends at McCafe. Well done. There you go. I mean, I know it's not a trip to Thailand, but it's not bad, though. Well, that's not an offer at the moment. I dated a doctor and I'm a hypochondriac, so that worked. Oh, wow. Oh, that's really good. This is pretty much like our friend Dr. Shawnee and Hayley, who I'm a hypochondriac, so that worked. Oh, wow. Oh, that's really good.

This is pretty much like our friend Dr. Sean Ian Haley, who's also a hypochondriac. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. I've got scoliosis, I reckon. Of the spine. MS and scoliosis have been down a hard hand in the last couple of years. You had juicy discs in that spine, but you're worried about the curve.

The curve. I dated a pro athlete. He was hardly ever home due to training, so lived a semi-single life and a great body for when he was home and travelled all over with him when he competed too if I wanted to go, he'd take me. Need to see a photo. Yeah, like proof.

You can't just text in a radio station and say hot body and not provide evidence. Yeah, I'm sorry. I worked at a cafe when I was at uni and I was dating a guy who suspiciously planned all of our dates for after I'd work the closing shift when I would take home all of the leftover muffins. I had a flatmate that worked in a bakery and she'd bring home leftovers.

It was so good. I was so gutted the days that Lamington sold out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hard day. I'd say to her, can you just hide one of the Lamingtons? Yeah. Sometimes she would.

She would hide you a Lamington? Yeah. I know. That's actually theft as a servant. It is. Yeah. Oh she would. She would hide you a lamington? Yeah. I know. That's actually theft as a servant. It is. Yeah. I dated a guy for the long game. He had a house over on the shore.

Oh, yeah. She took half of that. This is why hollow we want prenup. Hollow we want prenup. Yeah. The long game being over three years. Must be. Cohabitating.

Also, how does someone do that to someone I know that's solo I know my husband's in it for the perks he's a stay at home dad owns his own business

which is very very chill yep while I go away and work every day and pay the bills okay so stay at home dad

if he's staying at home and he's dad and he's doing a good job that's you know that's a full time job you wouldn't dare say that about a stay at home mumhome mum, would you? No, you wouldn't.

Because she'd have you. She's wild. She's been dealing with children all day. She'll bite your head off. That's a feminist right there. I'm an ally. I'm dating a mechanic. So, hello, free car care.

Yeah. I wish you'd just buy me a new car. Oh, yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, what I've done here is I've told you that I wanted to talk about posting on Instagram and the fact that this AI toggle came on. But what it actually allows me to do is talk about the fact that what I posted was news

I'm coming to Christchurch with my show. Huh. Free advertising. She snuck it in. She trojan horsed. Ha ha. Brr. Oh, what a lovely wooden horse.

Please bring it into the city. Surprise. I'm plugging my show. I'm plugging my show. For historical accuracy, I'd be asleep when you'd announce your show. Because the people, they were asleep when they came out of the Trojan horse, weren't they? Yes. So you actually have.

Wake up. Wake up. My show's coming to Christchurch. I am. I posted yesterday on my Instagram, right, that my show Wild Flut show's coming to Christchurch. I'm coming to Christchurch. I am. I posted yesterday on my Instagram, right, that my show Wild Flutters is coming to Christchurch July 19th and July 20th at 6.30pm at the piano. Head to my Instagram for tickets.

The same show that sold out at the New Zealand International Comedy Festival. That's correct. Oh, wow. In Wellington and Auckland. How many nights are you doing in Christchurch? I'm doing two nights, my friend. Two nights? 19th and 20th of July.

Whereabouts? At the piano in Christchurch? I'm doing two nights, my friend. Two nights? 19th and 20th of July. Whereabouts? At the piano in Christchurch. Lovely spot. Oh, it's beautiful on Armagastri. Anyway, Armagastri. So I posted this and then my friend James Rocke, comedian friend. Is he also doing Christchurch shows? He's not.

He lives in Canada. Now, he does my poster. Oh,? He's not. He lives in Canada. Now he does my poster. Oh, your poster's amazing. It's so good. He makes lots of comedians' posters. The Bajongams are poppin'. Now he messaged and said, excuse me,

and gave me a screenshot of my post and it said Hayley Sproul and underneath it said, made using AI. And I hadn't. I'd literally just uploaded the photo of your poster. Of my poster to my wall. It's obviously been photoshopped, yes.

You'd never say. But he's done the photoshopping. Wow. And the photographer, not AI. So, because I noticed this yesterday, a couple of posts. Yeah, it would have the post on Instagram, on the feed, and under their name, made with AI. So because I noticed this yesterday a couple of posts. Yeah it would have the post on Instagram on the feed and under their name made with AI. Yeah.

So I don't know. So this bit was an automatic thing. Like I didn't choose it. And then I said to him like oh that sucks. And he said you can turn it off. And he's experienced it a couple of times with you know because he does photoshopping. Yeah. He says it's happened.

And so he goes, you can turn it off. You click edit. Yeah. And then there's a toggle and you can go show made with AI or not and you turn it off. What's the point if everybody can just turn that off when they post something? I know.

Of course it wasn't made with AI. So Meta can go and be like, we tried. Yeah. You know. Oh, we tried. People turned it off. But then you could filter the hell and Facetune a photo of yourself and put that up. It's not going to say made with AI.

And that's just as misleading. Totally. Or like this image where you're like, yeah, it's been Photoshopped and it's had graphics put on and stuff. But a human being did that. A friend of mine that's a photographer posted on his story yesterday that Instagram had did this to one of his photos and he said all he did is

move the people out of the background. So it was still an untouched image of a model and he'd just taken some people out of the background. What is it in that, what is it called, the metadata of photos and stuff? You know how sometimes when you upload photos people know how to see like where it was taken? Or it can just scan your photo and see that it's been edited.

Yeah. And that's enough. It's seen it and it done it. Yeah. So I'm just trying to do a test here because I've turned off the toggle if it applies to all of them. Now I'll just pick a photo. And if it's a photo from years ago where I was super hot,

then that's fine, right? Well, do you think Instagram should say, this is not a recent photo? That could be a new title. This photo was at least 20 kgs ago. Letting people know where you're at. Imagine if AI was like, detect it. Currently fatter than photo. Upload it.

Okay, let's just post this photo in which I look incredible. And I'll just go, next. Okay, next. Oh my god, I'm so currently beautiful. That's the text I'll put. Hashtag natural beauty. Natural. Hashtag natural.

It doesn't matter. You're going to delete it in a second. Maybe. We'll see what traction it gets. And then I'll just go share. Now, this is what I did yesterday. Always share posts. Share.

Posting two of two. What have I done? What have I done? Uh-oh. What have I done? There's a nude. She's posted a nude. Check Hayley Sproul on Instagram.

There may be a nude. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. What have I just posted? No, it says, OMG, I'm currently, I'm so currently beautiful. Hashtag natural. But does it say AI?

Why did it say posting two of two but it didn't give you the option to toggle off AI no but it doesn't say post it with AI but that's because you just uploaded a photo that wasn't

but it's been photoshopped oh it has yeah it has interesting I think so what'd they do there well anyway it's a thing

you think it could do with a touch more I don't know if it's rolling out why are they only half hours I don't know if it's rolling out to everybody but it's certainly a thing that we they only half hours? I don't know if it's rolling out to everybody, but it's certainly a thing that we're going to see in the next wee while.

Sorry, my heart's still pounding because it said uploading two of two. Now, I went to my favourites album and there's some photos in there. Now, what's happened? Well, you just saw there's only one photo. Yeah, but why did it say upload two of two? Just to lead it to be safe. Relax, baby. I know, but it's already getting a little bit of traction.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, right. Oh, 81 people. Guys. Great for the insights. 21 past eight. Next. What to do if your partner is currently really addicted to playing PlayStation?

Right. There's a new trend online. For God's sake. Leave him alone. I'm going to try it on you, Vaughn. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Now, apparently, there is a new trend if you have a partner that plays a lot of games and perhaps ignores you. Right, because for those that don't know or don't remember, you got Aaron a PlayStation.

For his birthday. Yep, your fiancé. And at the time, you were against that? I have been against it for a long time because I find it unattractive. And I said this to my brother who's a gamer, big gamer. My brother works

creating sim racing machines for PlayStation and gamers and stuff. Really? Yeah, I know. I didn't know that. He was like, I can't work in the music industry anymore and so he's doing that. Okay, right. And I said to him, he said,

does Aaron have a PlayStation for that big stupid TV of yours? And I was like, no. I said, oh, I hate it. I just hate it. And he said,

he's like, don't be a dick. Like, you've got your own hobbies and stuff. He's allowed to have downtime. And so I said, I am being a dick. And so I got him one.

And then he played it for two weeks nonstop. And I was like, ugh, ugh. But he's clocked the game and now he's not so we're back we're fine it's all good I've got a couple of games

Vaughn I know Vaughn actually was going to take him some games oh yeah well I've got a couple of drinks for your wife there we go

I've got a couple of Proseccos at my house for your wife I see what's happening here guns at dawn draw go on pull the trigger

see what happens see what happens you See what happens. Bum-bang! You won. You won. You shot me. If you give Aaron a game, I shall make your wife some beautiful cocktails at my house.

And then you can throw my husband back at me and I'll throw your wife back at you. Actually, that would be glorious. Can me and Sade have your house? It just sounds like productivity's going down. All around. The tip on line at the moment is

to, okay, we'll role play this. I think it's better to just show you. You're playing. What game are you playing? Depends what day of the week is it. Is it Friday night? It's Wednesday today. It's Wednesday today. We're chilling. I am going to load up. Oh, so much choice.

Baldur's Gate 3. I might dive back into Baldur's Gate 3. I feel like what I've done here is I've opened up the opportunity for him to just talk about Playstations. Yeah. Okay. So you're playing. Okay, you're playing.

I'm your wife. How long have I been playing for? Hours. Do I have snacks? Three hours. Yeah. Do I have snacks? playing. Okay, you're playing. I'm your wife. How long have I been playing for? Hours. Do I have snacks? Three hours. Yeah. Do I have snacks? Yeah.

You've been snacking since. You've done all the snacks. Got my buzz on? Yeah. I'm a happy boy. Okay. Vaughan, are you still playing your game? No, I've got my new PlayStation Pulse headphones on.

I can't hear you. Take them off. Okay, I'm your wife. I'm topless. Nothing I ain't seen before. Okay, that's not the trick. Take your headphones off. Hello, you still playing your little game?

Oh, I don't like this. Yep. You're playing your game? Yes, I am. Oh, you've been playing the game for such a long time. I have been. What is happening? You're playing your little game?

You've been playing for three hours. I think you might have had enough screen time, baby. I'm putting the headphones slowly back over my ear. What is this? What are you doing? You talk to them like they're a child. Wait, so what do you want me to do? Get off the game?

Get off the game. Okay, then what? I'm mothering you. And then we'll make love. I don't know. I just said I'm mothering you and now we're going to make love. I think you would then go back to the bedroom while Hayley spends

three hours on TikTok and Reels I think that yeah oh yay I'm rushing to bed to have to put up a pillow barrier

to keep the brightness of the screen I think this is because it's sort of echoing the thing that I think which is like it's so unattractive

and now like to make you seem like a baby and I'm your mum, it's like that's unattractive. Yeah, but that's also unattractive too, talking in a baby voice. I don't know. I think it would backfire. It would backfire so badly. Well, surely.

Yeah. Yeah. What a terrible approach. Women are doing this? Women are doing this. Don't they just do that thing where they stomp off and hope you'll chase them? And you're like, meh.

I start loudly cleaning the kitchen so that I'm doing everything while you're doing nothing. Right. But doesn't that just make you more angry when you've cleaned the entire house? Yeah, and then the kitchen's clean. Yeah. And then you storm off to bed

and then I'm going to make a sandwich and I'm going to leave the knife over the sink. And I will murder you. With that knife. With that butter knife. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan Ailey. Play ZM. Fact of the day is

You brat This week's fact of the day is Stop You two, stop fighting Be nice to your brother please Be nice to your brother We'll both be in trouble I just pushed his cup over.

He was being a brat. And thus, turning you into a brat. Did you not listen to Two brats don't make a right. Brat hat my gandy. He did. A brat for a brat

leaves the whole world brat. That's right. Okay. Put that on a horse. And then both of us says brat hat my brat hat my brat brat brat gandy.

Brat brat brat gandy. Brat brat brat gandy. When you say put it on a Brat Gandy. Brat Brat Brat Gandy. Brat Brat Brat Gandy. When you say put it on a horse, people don't know that we're making a horse calendar. I think the people are well aware. The demand is going to fly out the door. With motivational quotes on horses. On horses.

There's been two this morning. Can't remember what the first one was. It's Space Week here at Fact of the Day. Influenced by a recent trip I took. You've been very coy about this recent trip. He's coy. He's mysterious. He's a mystery man. He's a mystery man. Will've been very coy about this recent trip. He's coy, he's mysterious. He's a mystery man.

He's a mystery man. Will you be revealing more about this mystery trip? You're damn right. Okay. You silly little sausage. Stay tuned. You silly little space sausage. I will, you big space sausage.

Today. What? You're a big space sausage. Ah, you're a big space sausage. Today is about the smell of space. Oh. The different haromas you would smell in space. Because smell makes sound.

Pear and jasmine. What a wonderful combination. Oh, it's got to be sweet. It's got to be French pear, I reckon. So in space, if you'll both just shut your faces for a moment, I will explain to you. Wow. In a vacuum.

Someone's got their period. Remember that? Time of the month is a lot. Oh, gosh. You say remember that. I bet people will still say it all the time. Oh, really? It's not your echo chamber of left-wing libtards.

Right, right, right. Ass here at the alt-right, not afraid to say it. Yeah, wow. Not afraid to say it. Call out a woman for her moods on a period. And a man too. That's wild.

It's been nice working with you. Anyway, we're having fun here. The smell doesn't work in a vacuum like sound. Sound doesn't travel in a vacuum. Even if you farted

in your own suit. In your suit, you're not in the vacuum. You're in a vacuum like sound. Sound doesn't travel in a vacuum. Even if you farted in your own suit. In your suit, you're not in the vacuum. You're in a pressurised environment. Chamber. But in space, it doesn't. But when you've been out on a spacewalk and you go back into the International Space Station. Oh, what do you smell like?

You can smell the environment you've just been in. It would be like being outside when there's a fire and you go inside. You couldn't smell it outside, but then you get inside and you can, I can smell smoke from my clothes. Well, like when you worked in a fire and you go inside, you couldn't smell it outside, but then you get inside and you can, I can smell smoke on my clothes. Well, like when you worked in a kitchen

and you can smell the oil on your clothes. Yeah. Yeah. So, they've done some, because basically, fragrance is just basically a mix of chemicals.

Yeah. And it's how your olfactory senses, it's the smell senses, the aroma, perception senses, breaks it down. So what they do is they get a mix

of these exact chemicals and then they put them together and they're like, this is what space smells like. The Milky Way. Yep. Smells of rum, raspberries and booze.

What? What? The Milky Way, you know, if you look up into the sky and you can see the Milky Way, they've broken down what it's made of

and it's packed full of a chemical known as ethyl formate, which has a couple of intriguing properties. It's responsible for giving raspberries their flavour. Yum. And rum its smell.

I quite like the smell of rum. It's a nice smell. More than I like its impact on me. A nice spicy rum. Do you think the Milky Way could have just sucked up a pirate ship back in the day and that's why it smells like that? On its way back from a raspberry plantation? Nope.

I don't think so. I think you're being ridiculous. Explain so. I think you're being ridiculous. Explain that. I think you're being ridiculous. Someone's on their period. Who's been to the Milky Way here? Not Vaughan. I'll tell you that right now.

NASA reached out to Omega Ingredients to recreate deodorant for training simulations. It brings back atmospheric samples of the moon, for example. They did the smell of the moon, for example. Yeah. They did the smell of the moon, they said, and they compared it to gunpowder. And that all checks out because things found on the moon, no atmosphere, but just the space of the moon, the chemical formula. Did they bring back like space rock or dust from the moon landing? Yes.

Did you sniff it? Give that a sniff. I never thought about if that sniffed, because I just imagine, you know, like you sniff pumice. Yeah. It doesn't really have a smell. Once you leave the galaxy, apparently, there's dark pockets of the universe. Some smell like sweet sugar. Oh.

And the other of a rotten egg stench of sulfur, as that's quite present in the galaxy. Right. Rotorua vibes. Rotorua. And if you went for a spacewalk in the International Space Station and you come back in, often you would smell burnt or fried steak. Yum. It could smell like cooked meat. Oh, yum.

With an egg. A fried egg as well. Or a red wine jus sort of situation with a gratin. More of a red wine jus. Wow. Lovely potato gratin. Wow. And then you get back to the International Space Station, you can get inside and then you can't have a gratin. More of a red yu. Lovely potato gratin. Wow, and then you get back to the

international space so you can get inside and then you can't have a cooked steak. You can't have a steak, you can have a dehydrated milk pouch. Meat dust. Moolied up yogurt pouch. So today's fact of the day Good fact of the day by the way, liked this. Yeah, really good from you. Thank you.

Is that the Milky Way smells of rum, raspberries and booze? Fact of the day, day, day, sneaky, sneaky. Speaking of sneaking, there is a German YouTuber. His name is Marvin Waldhodge. And he published a video where he showed how he got into a Germany versus Scotland football match. Okay. While wearing a... High-vis.

No. Full mascot outfit. Okay. While wearing a... High-vis. No. Full mascot outfit. Oh. Nobody's going to question that, are they? No. So he is dressed up like full... Oh, sorry, that's him. Hello.

Like a... I'm just trying to find what you would call... It's like a bear. You would have to go as a mascot for one of the teams playing. Yeah. Like if you were going... It's like a bear. You would have to go as a mascot for one of the teams playing. Yeah. Like if you were going, I mean, I'm certainly not encouraging anyone to sneak into any of New Zealand's fine venues and concerts. Of course not.

No. So he faked his credentials as well. So copied a design from photos posted on social media of passes. Now, when it was scanned at the entrance, but he was in his full mascot outfit, it was obviously like, didn't work. Yeah. Nabarco was all wrong, but him and an

associate were waved in by security who were convinced that because of this outfit and this parking pass was correct. So he went in there. Eventually he's detained by security after making it onto the field in the middle of the opening ceremony where he was held in a detention,

you know, underneath the stadium. There's those like little prison cells. Oh, is there? Does every stadium have little prison cells? Yeah, lots of them do for intoxicated people. Like rowdy, yeah, spectators and stuff. Yeah. Streakers.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Or they just park a police paddy van out the back. Yeah, I know, but they're going to kind of. But he went all out. Like, the outfit's one of those big bobble-headed, you know, beer fight. And in like a football uniform.

You would just wade that through. You'd think he's there for the match. Yeah, totally. So that's how he got in. We want to know where you successfully snuck into and how you did it. Yeah, and it is the anonymous phone-in topic.

So maybe if it was somewhere naughty you can be completely anonymous. Maybe you had like a big semi-anonymous, you can be full anonymous, you can be un-anonymous, you can be soft anonymous. Yeah. So we want to know where you have managed to sneak into and whether you had a costume.

Yeah. Or how did you do it? Maybe you pretended to be catering staff. High. High viz. High viz at a festival is genius. You see YouTubers do that all the time. All the time.

Think security and then they're right at the front for these incredible artists. You're like. 0800 dials at Amazon number. You can text through. 9696 can be completely anonymous. Where did you sneak into and how did you do it?

We want to know right now with the anonymous phone-in topic, where you've managed to sneak into. Yeah. A German YouTuber snuck into a big football match dressed as a bear mascot. Got caught eventually.

Looked amazing, though. And the security just waved him through. Don't get any ideas. We're not encouraging this type of malarkey. But quite a lot of you. It does appear a lot of you have been sneaking in. Don't need our bad influence anyway. I grew up in a poor family.

Mum would scrim together $5 every now and then and say, go out for the day and entertain yourself because that was the cheapest way if she didn't come. Yep. My mates and I would jump on the train without paying and get off in Remuera and walk to Newmarket because Newmarket was where they had the inspection for the tickets, so we knew to get off before then.

Oh, yes. Although now they have people walking through at any time and they can just scan your card and tell that you have an email. Well, no, this does sound like a wild out. Back in the day. We'd then spend a dollar or so at the South checkout, but make a bag of snacks, and then we'd sneak into the movies and watch the movies

and then maybe have a couple of bucks to find a way home. How did you sneak into the movies? Because the only time I've snuck into movies is I've already paid for one ticket, but I stay all day. Go into the other one and then just walk into another movie halfway through.

Yeah, be like, oh, this feels kind of early on in the plot. I'll jump in here. Yeah. Again,

we're not encouraging that at all. Absolutely not. Yeah. Absolutely not. Brother and sister-in-law heading back to Queens.

Brother, ooh. Years ago, I dropped them off at the airport, followed them through security and walked into the car lounge

with them. I drank a few beers. When it was time for them to leave, I turned right and just went back to the car. No plane ticket required. But you had to scan now. You've got to scan. You've got to scan.

Because of people like you. Yeah. Anonymous, you and your husband snuck in somewhere. Yes, we did. We were very naughty. Okay. We were very naughty. Okay. We were over in Rome last year and we ended up at the Vatican City

and it was around one o'clock and they closed the cathedral for the afternoon to do like an afternoon service. If you're already in there, you can take your time and exit. They don't allow anybody in. And so we're standing there, the lines humongous, security

everywhere, all the rest of it. And we thought we'd just kind of slip towards the exit. Went to the exit where everyone was coming out and told the security guard that I'd left my bag in at the cathedral. So he wandered us through and spent another three hours

wandering around the Vatican Cathedral. Amazing. Good for you. A little shine. I mean, probably going to hell for that, but yeah. Yeah, well, you know. God was literally around you. I was going to go to hell anyway.

Amazing. She's like, that's the least of it. A lot of those places, even just walking with purpose and like, you know, you're going somewhere. Hi, no, sorry. I'm just back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can get away with it there.

Anonymous, thank you. Impossible phone-in topic. The energy in here is chaos. Where have you snuck into? It's because we've got so many naughty listeners. They're making us naughty. Back in the 80s, every concert held at Western Springs, we just climbed the fence.

There were never enough guards to catch us all. Oh, you'd never get away with that now. Nah, top security. Boxing day races at Awapuni. Chucked on the high-vis vest, told them they were there to fix a power problem. Straight in, free of charge. And got the best part possible. And then just

roll up the high-vis and pop it in the back. This top text is going to hell. And I wasn't going to read it, but now I sort of understand why they did it. I snuck into a guard watchtower at Auschwitz. Jeez. I've never, I honestly don't think I could go.

I don't think I could do it. I mean, you know I'm a robot with no emotions, but that was. That's why I don't think I could go. And it was. I think I'd just be a mess the entire time. Full on. You cannot help but be moved. They said the place is a museum now and you're allowed into certain parts of the camp,

but the watchtower's roped off. I snuck up and took some photos as I teach Nazi Germany history at high school and my teacher, when I was at high school, did a very similar thing. Wow. I snuck my nine-year-old daughter into a Disney resort pool.

We weren't staying there. Is that an adults-only pool? Also, I love how we've gone from house witch to Disney pools. Just to lighten it up. We weren't staying there as I was a solo mum and couldn't afford it, but I took her there for the afternoon. You needed a room key to get in, but we just waited until someone came out and then we went.

Oh, you're good, yeah. This must be illegal. Can I read it? It's anonymous. Did you see this? When I was a 12-year-old, I snuck into a nationwide election. My uncle was running to be mayor, and one of the cousins asked me if I could vote on his behalf

because he's in prison. Now, the cousin, do you think the cousin is the son of the uncle that's running for? Well, maybe. Yeah, I think so. They gave me a list of candidates to vote for I voted for them all at the end of the day

I received cash for voting for these people okay that is illegal that is terribly illegal in a local body election very unsexy yeah okay

what unsexy fraud yeah the least sexiest wow fraud's gotta end up with some cash oh they did get paid at the end of the day

they got some money people posing as photographers at festivals my friend poses as a photographer The least sexiest. It's got to end up with some cash. Oh, they did get paid at the end of the day. They got some money. People posing as photographers at festivals. My friend poses as a photographer at Laneway. Got backstage and partied with artists afterwards. What? You just put a cannon around your neck. Like, nobody's going to a festival with a massive cannon.

Like the camera, though, not the war weapon. Oh, I was imagining like a giant pirate ship cannon. No, sorry, the cannon is a brand of camera. I should have explained it to you clearer. Yeah. For two years we haven't paid to go to a Warriors game. We found someone's media pass, photoshopped our faces and names onto it.

Oh my god! When we go, we can get onto the field, we can go to press conferences, we get to go onto the sheds post-match. Oh my God. We don't have a media pass and we're media. We don't have... Wait, we can get

a media pass to go into the changing rooms. That doesn't sound right, does it? Doesn't sound right, does it? Doesn't sound right,

does it? You could take your big cannon. I'll take my big cannon around my neck. Go on. You could meet some of those hot warriors

that you boys... Oh my God, who's the one I like? Tommy, you... Tohu Harris. Yeah, Tohu, Tohu. Just get of those hot warriors that you've always Oh my god yeah who's the one I like? Tommy Tahu Harris. Yeah Tahu

Tahu. Just get in someone's ear and tell me when he's having showers. Can we get Hayley a

media pass please? What about someone on the physiotherapy team? I'm with the team.

You're posing as a physiotherapist now. And then you just start like rubbing them really badly. That's a crime.

What you've just described is a crime. That's what I'm describing here is harassment. What you've just described is a crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Some more messages moving on. Just imagine that face

down after the game and you're rubbing and they're like, how many of you are back there? And you're like, what do you mean? What do you mean? Well, I feel two hands

but also something else is really sliding up around me. Soft, squishy. Warm too. Oh gosh. Yeah, just lots of people. Costumes seem to be the guy.

Hang on. I knew six men that wanted to get into a rugby game. Took a casket. They were all dressed in black suits. They told the security his last wish was to go to this game. Security let them in and the casket was full of beer. That sounds like some pop sports shenanigans.

That sounds like absolute shenanigans. There we go. Very naughty. Anonymous, anonymous, anonymous. It's anonymous. Not impossible. It's very possible and you're all very naughty and we do not endorse any of these illegal, naughty actions.

We are very well-behaved people. Be good out there today. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcasts. That one? Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Or who was that?

Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother.

Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.