ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th March 2024

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

Hayley's "Lucky" Day  Top 6: Karaoke Performances  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan saw Hayley's...I Still Love My Partner But...  Producer Jared has a Hayley-based Question  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flach, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Flach, Vaughan and Hayley. Just discussing lesbians. They move fast. Yeah, they do move fast, don't they?

They move so fast. When you know, you know. According to Facebook, nine years ago today, I had a deep-fried battered cream egg inside a hot cross bun rolled in cinnamon sugar. My God. Are you all right? I want one more. I don't think you do.

I want one more. Ten years ago, I reckon you could have handled it. Yeah. I'll have a quarter. Yeah, we'll all have a slice of it now. It's a bit more careful with the food these days. You have to. Top six coming up.

The inventor of karaoke over the weekend, R.I.P. R.I.P. 100. Passed away. R.I.P. A man that's given us so much. So many great memories. So I've got the top six people that will be performing at his funeral.

Oh, great. Of karaoke, of course. Of course it's be performing at his funeral. Oh, great. Of karaoke, of course. Of course it's a karaoke funeral. How dare you? No original songs. To win some cash this morning, 8 o'clock, 5 on time, $43,000 is the current jackpot. That's ridiculous. So that means if it goes up three today.

So it'll go up to 44 for Georgia, 45 for Bray and Clint. It'll be 46 with us tomorrow. Yep. And then 47 with Georgia, 48 with Bray and Clint. We're 49. That'll be Thursday morning. It's 49. 49.

Which means if it doesn't go with us, Georgia gets to 50. And then it's going to stay at 50 if nobody gets it by then. But God, man, people have been close. I know. So your chance this morning at 8 o'clock to play five all the time. Also, people have been far away. Let's be honest. I mean, we had pretty much had a six-second yesterday.

We've had some schnoozers. So, Melissa Delphine activated just before the news at 8 o'clock to win $43,000. Next on the show. Today could only go well because yesterday turned out to be a very lucky day for me indeed. Really? Yeah. I got away with near moida. I might buy a lotto ticket today.

Okay. Because I think I got very lucky yesterday. Now, I parked my car at your house on Friday afternoon. Now that was near your house there's like residence parks, but then there's just like straight up two-hour max parks. There used to be better parking. Really? I know.

And then they learn that green zone. Yeah, they put up these bloody little boxes. Sometimes I see the garden boxes, I could just parallel right in tight with them. You want gardens? Don't live in the central city. It's my advice. That is the place for high rise grey concrete jungle. And cars. Cars, cars, cars. People actually use those

lovely tables in the sun. I know there was a guy sitting there the other day. Yeah. Although it is right in the middle of the traffic and you get all the fumes. It's not the nicest place to sit but you know. all the fumes. It's not the nicest place to sit, but, you know. It's a gesture. It's a gesture for apartment living. Now, so I parked like up top a little bit away from your house

and it was a two-hour max park and I knew fully well I'd be picking up that car on Monday. This is on Friday. Right, okay. Well, because I was like, I'm not going to drive it home tonight because I was going out. The next day, I didn't need the car. I was hanging out with Vaughan and we were going to have some drinks

so we got a Lyft and Ubers. And then on Sunday, Aaron was busy so he wasn't going to drive me to town. So I was like, I'll just get Vaughan to pick me up on Monday morning and I'll pick it up after work. So you paid for the parking the whole time? Yes, but I, well, no. No. So I got into a house.

I took the photo of the code for the app to pay on the app. And then I was like, I'll pay for that. And then I got inside and your friends were there and they're like, have a drink. And I was like, oh yeah, all good. And then I think at some point I was like, oh, parking. And I paid until the end of that day. Okay.

Then I, because it knocks off at like on Friday or something. I think it's a little bit later maybe. That's six. Six, six? Yeah, six. And then on Saturday, obviously in no state to deal about the parking. And I was like, isn't it free on the weekend?

Not on Saturdays. On Sunday it is. On Sunday it is. Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, yeah. So all day Saturday I parked there. Didn't pay for a dollar. You rascal. Parked there all day Saturday I parked there. Didn't pay for a dollar. You rascal.

Parked there all day Sunday. Yeah. Well, that's fine. Sunday's fine. Then Monday around about 7 o'clock a.m. I remembered to start paying for parking again. Good, yeah. But because I knew I'd be picking up about 10 and it's a two-hour max,

it only paid for parking from 8 till 10. Yeah, right. So I was there from 8 till 10. Yeah, right. So I was there from 6 till 8, non-paid. All this, and I don't have a warrant of fitness. Hayley Jane! I strolled up the hill yesterday to pick up my car, not a single ticket. Are you going to tell her, or am I going to tell her?

Not a single ticket. Are you going to tell her, or am I going to tell her? The single ticket. Are you going to tell her or am I going to tell her? The tickets are digital now. They don't put them under your windscreen anymore. What? No. Oh my God. Oh my God. No. That's where I was wondering, how do you know you don't have a ticket? Because it won't have arrived yet. Hayley, our friend Todd, who was house sitting

in my house a few weekends ago, he sent me over the weekend a photo of the council had sent him an email. Because they drive around in that little nana car and it's got like... It automatically detects it reads your number plate and sees if your number plate's been put in the system. And they're just constantly circling.

Yeah, they just drive around the street so they don't even get out of the car now. And so Todd, our friend, sent me a photo at the weekend the council had sent him an email and it had a photo of his car in the spot, not paid had sent him an email and it had a photo of his car in the spot not paid for parking.

$40. I thought, no, mine's going to be... Because they'll know you don't have a WAF. So, yeah, the reason you've got this is because it hasn't been like two working days yet. Do you still want to buy that lotto ticket for your lucky day yesterday?

Oh no, oh no. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. That's just hours and hours and hours of me just taking the Mac. Oh my God. I'm stuffed.

I'm stuffed. I would love. You parked it for three days. I should have just Ubered in. And the whole point was that I would drive in and park at Fletcher's to save money. No, it's not going to save you money. money And then I was like I'll just park at work And walk over and then I was like can't be bothered

You should have parked at work Hans I'd love to see some stats on how much Parking ticket revenue Has gone up since they moved to that car situation Yeah because you think about when it was Raining or like If I was a parking ticket guy

I'd just have a two hourhour lunch break in a park. Yeah. So hang on. Or I wouldn't walk up the hills. Wait, when's this thing arriving? When's this thing arriving? Well, you'll get some emails in the next couple of weeks, I'd say. God, this sucks.

This really ruined my day. Are you kidding me? But if you don't have an email associated, do you have to have an email associated to your car? I don't know, actually. All my address is there. We still get, like, speeding or whatever. Or you get it in the mail, yeah. So it might take a little while. But then if you're, maybe it's all linked.

I don't know how he got his email, but yeah. That sucks so hard. I'm sorry to hear this. I'm sorry to bust your. You have absolutely burst my bubble. I have. At 6.12, and I'm going to be here for three more hours. I've got to wait.

Oh, my God. You're not even going to be able to afford that lotto ticket for your lucky day yesterday. Don't tell Aaron. He'll be so upset. Is he still asleep? Yeah. Okay, good.

I think you've got to wait. A universal agreement no one listening now tells Aaron. To be honest, he's the hardest person to get a hold of that I know. Good luck. How are you going to find him? I sent him a message on Saturday night, and he messaged me back on Saturday night hold of that I know. Yeah, good luck. How are you going to find him? I sent him a message on Saturday night and he messaged me back on Saturday night and I was like, this is unheard of.

Usually it's like sending a pigeon or a telegram. You'll hear back from him in 10 weeks. Everything's changed since then. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the Panoramic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Guys, just before you talk, Jared just unsent a message from the group chat. He's a shocking sender to the wrong group. He's a shocker of a sender to the wrong group. He does this. One day it's really going to bite you on the butt, my friend. Remember that time you sent that message when we were working later? Love you. Love you.

Good night. Love you. No, I sent a fact about parking fines, but it was a little dated so I wanted to retract it. Good on you for doing your research. Thank you. I like to

imagine what it could be. Over to you, Vaughan. Yes, thank you. The inventor of karaoke died at the weekend. Your father-in-law would have been upset by this news. I always get it stated personally. I don't think he'd say what he does is karaoke. But we'll talk about that later.

Shijishi Nageshi said that wrong. He invented the modern karaoke machine. Okay. He died at the age of 100. Good for him.

Great life. That's a hell of an innings. That's a sign of what joy in your life can bring You know Longevity A long happy life Yeah

Joy for him But so much pain for others For everybody else Joy to the world Oh The boys and girls The boys and girls The top six people

Performing at the Inventor of karaoke's funeral Is today's top six Number six on the list An incredibly intoxicated tradie who's just screaming mostly swear words into the microphone and he only got invited because his girlfriend's family knew the guy that died. Oh, he's lit a cigarette.

Fantastic. He's definitely singing Rage Against the Machine. Yeah, and he's just really waiting for the F-U-O-N-D-U-A-G-E-T-A-L-E part. Yeah, exactly. That's what he's going to scream into the microphone the most. Oh, good. Glad he wore his work boots and his high-vis top, too. Well, exactly. That's what he's going to scream into the microphone the most. Oh, good. Glad he wore his work boots and his high-vis top too.

Well, it's hard to see him otherwise. Yeah, he's rocking that real strap-from-work stink. Number five on the list of the top six people performing at the inventor of karaoke's funeral. The shyest girl you ever met

who was basically bullied into taking part but the minute the music starts she does that thing where she transforms into an absolute powerhouse. Oh, yeah. It's the swan.

Beautiful. From the ugly duckling. It's a swan. Beautiful. From the ugly duckling to the absolutely singing swan. Number four on the list of the top six people performing at the inventor of karaoke's funeral. Someone who's ready to go three songs before it's their turn and offers to sing back up on the other people's songs and then

when her turn is over, she won't let go of the microphone because she wants to do one more. Have you guys seen the billboards out? I'm pointing at you Hayley. Are you pointing at me? I'm pointing at you.

Is there someone else in the studio? No, no, no one else in the studio. You are a karaoke hog. Oh yeah. You are. But everyone loves

listening to me. That's the thing. That's important. Because everybody loves when I perform Do they Okay Number three on the list

Of the top six people Performing at the Inventor of Karaoke's funeral The mum that knows All the words To the ABBA song She's about to sing Because she's been

Listening to nothing but it Since its 1979 release Yeah But still reads the lyrics Like she's reading Something from the paper Out loud to your dad With the glasses

At the end of her nose Yes Mum just sing it From the heart It's ABBA the lyrics are like she's reading something from the paper out loud to your dad with the glasses at the end of her nose. Yes. Mum, just sing it from the heart. Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong. Number two on the list of the top six people performing at the Inventor of Karaoke's Funeral are someone who is singing the Weird Al parody version

of the pop song, although to be totally honest it's giving the performance of the night. Yeah. Eat it. Absolutely. Yeah. Eat it. Yeah, eat it. And they put on Beat It, but they sing Eat It. And you're like, wow, they're doing it without the lyrics on the screen. It's amazing. They just know the song that well.

It's layered. And they're doing it. It's obviously prepared, highly prepared, but they're doing it with a sort of a nonchalance that makes it just off the cuff. Performance of the night. And number one on the list of the top six people performing at the inventor of karaoke's funeral, my father-in-law given off the cuff. Performance of the night. And number one on the list of the top six people performing at the inventor of karaoke's funeral,

my father-in-law given half the chance. It would be an honour for John Senior. It would be his absolute honour to sing something a little bit, maybe half an octave higher than it should have been. And that'd get him out of your house for a few days. That should be bloody good. How much it flies to Japan.

I'll pay. My treat. My treat. That's today's top six. We want to acknowledge that the council are doing a great job. All the councils. All the councils. Names everywhere.

Doing an awesome job. Doing a bullshit gig. Oh, my God. And they love hearing about it. Vaughn, finally, did we talk about this? Vaughn saw the lines on my street. Oh my God. I complained last week that my road markings

had been redone on my little street and I said that they were crooked. I wasn't exaggerating, eh? No. I need to see a photo. Can you take a photo? It looks bad from the side of the road, but I picked these guys up

and then I like, it's a quiet street, no one's on there that way, so I drove and put myself on the centre line and looked down the street and it's just like, wee, wee, wee.

Really? Some of the lines aren't even straight. They're like, er. No, they were halfway through the spray of the line and we're like, better go around this car.

It's rude, my dude. Can you post it? Because I think the people may need to see this. I think it'd go off online too. People like this. It has to be straight. So Hayley and I actually have some civic feedback yesterday

because we were walking through Auckland Central. Which has been under huge construction to make way for the railway. I thought it was making way for Prince Ali. Was it? Yeah. Ali Ababwa? Yeah. Wow. No. I don't get your reference. It's an Aladdin reference. Make way

for Prince Ali. And then Jeannie comes in. Make way for Prince Ali. It's a wild reference. Yeah, it's making way for trains. Anyway. The city rail. And do you know what?

It's looking great. Like, I live in the city. Well, I actually said, my God, what a mess. I walk through there every day and I love it. Do you know, I think the people doing the paving stones, I think it's art. They're doing such a good job. It is incredible.

Watching them lay all the angles. I'm like, you guys, they're so talented. Because I thought it looked like a mess, but you were like, no, it's really, it's coming along. And then we saw these little pockets of where you're like, footpath is done and that's done. And God, they did a good job. And then suddenly, zoom, caught our eye. Zoom. Zoom.

We're like this, zoom. Zoom. The free hit zones. Yeah. Otherwise, no one is fire hydrant. No, free hit. Free hits. And VS is valve stop, but also Vaughan Smith.

So that's a very specific me power up. Is that what a VS means? On a cover? It's a valve stop. Okay. What happens when Vaughan Smith goes on a VS? I'm allowed to just like frantically hit anyone. Because we grew up in the country,

but when we went to the beach for the holiday, mum would make us go on a walk because we were eating too much fish and chips and ice cream. Like the free hits were always a big thing, but then valve stop, I'd just stand and be like, I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.

Well, we walked past one fire hydrant and then we walked past another and it made me comment to you, Hayley, and you noticed this as well. They've painted the fire hydrants kind of like a pastel yellow.

The wrong yellow. It's the wrong yellow. It's not gold enough. It's not deep enough. It's banana at best. It's banana. Oh, It's not deep enough. It's banana at best. It's banana. Oh, what? My friend, it's banana.

They have painted the fire hydrants banana. Banana. Pastel. Sort of a pastel yellow. Yeah. Heading towards a pastel. Heading towards pastel. We wouldn't say...

There's only one thing for it. Super pastel. I'm pulling up a chat with Auckland City Council of Richard Hills. Now, would you like to vote for him? I did think about messaging him, but he's got, you know, bigger things to worry about. But this is very distracting to the eye. Well, because I don't want there to be a building on fire and all the hot firemen turn up and they get confused. Yeah.

Because they see this and they think, well, no, that's not a fire hydrant. What if they're banana blind? What if they're banana blind? What if they're banana blind? What if they're banana, yeah, right. They'll have banana blindness. Yeah, they do. It's a genetic thing. They can't see a specific type of banana yellow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not going to be able to see these hoses. Buildings will burn to the ground. Because they're banana blind. Yeah, I'm just saying that it would be nice if they could go back and do the actual proper yellow. Or are we going to go all around Auckland? Councillor Richard Hills, ratepayers Smith,

Fletcher and Sproul here. We're just live on air, so watch your language. This is a voice note. I don't know why I said that. The fire hydrants around Auckland Central seem to have been painted a banana yellow rather than the usual high visibility canary yellow?

A rich gold yellow. Tell them it's a lovely painting. It's a good finish, but it's just the wrong colour. Okay, Fletch wants to say it's a lovely paint job, just a terrible colour. We've got beef. You'll probably listen to this whilst taking the bus to work. He loves the bus.

He loves public transport. Hope all is well. Love to the family. That's sort of the banana scent. Well, we just get things done. Do you think that they don't want people walking down the street being like offended by the orange anymore?

The bright yellow rather. Oh, they're toning it down. Do you think they're toning it down because it's on the main footpath? But are they going to go around the rest of the country and paint them all this banana yellow? Well no, because I've been recently around the rest of the country and I haven't had any issue with the colour of the fire hydrants. That's what I mean.

So if these ones heading in the Auckland CBD are going to be a different colour, there's no consistency. Yeah. It's distracting. This is not why I pay my rates. It's literally things like this. Or like when I see shop signs and they're like off centre or something. I don't know why, but once I see it, I get really bugged by it.

Should we withhold our rates? Go on a rate strike. Yep. I'm thinking about becoming a sovereign citizen. Really? Apparently they don't have to do anything. They don't want to. Tell me more about this, Vaughan Smith.

There's lots of stuff I don't want to do. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletchford and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole today. Which seats do you pick when booking for a show? I'm imagining this is in a seated position. Yep. Might be similar to how you pick a cinema seat. Yeah, cinema, yeah.

I always go right in the middle. Yeah, right in the middle. Right in the middle, closer to the front. I'm a guy that wants my whole vision taken up with the screen. I don't mind little head movements to follow the action. Never really thought about it, but I don't mind watching a concert from the the action. I've never really thought about it but I don't mind watching a concert from the side

but a movie, I'd hate it. Well also in a movie, very seldom are you crammed in fully sold out movie. Do you know what I mean? At a concert, you could be

every seat's full. Now, at a cinema, you know, you've got to leave a buffer. Buffer seat. This idea came to me because yesterday

our tickets went on sale for Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley live. Two shows. Auckland at the Civic. I only saw it written down. I thought it was Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley live. Live. No, we were just celebrating still being alive.

We live. Yeah. It lives. What a life. And also in Christchurch, another iconic venue. Yeah. Isaac Theatre Royal. Yeah, I know.

Beautiful venues. Now, we'll just get a quick tickety-wickety update. We'll go to the producers. Hello. So if you're in Christchurch, you need to hustle. I know. There's about 100-ish tickets left. I had a panicked message from a friend being like,

I'm going to a meeting. I was like, what? Calm down, Christchurch pal. Yeah, so we're nearly sold out. And then if you're in Auckland, our first release sold out. Still tickets. We've got to go fast. Get there now.

Right, because we're going to open up the upstairs. Yeah. That's what we've done. Because originally we were just going to do the downstairs. Well, that's gone. I always said if you're going to do downstairs, you might as well do upstairs. You know what I mean?

Yeah. A little bit of a lifeless in a go-buy. Okay. Two popping downstairs, don't neglect upstairs. Always. But again, Auckland Ticket's selling really well as well, so do not wait around because we're hoping, but we're expecting it's going to sell out.

Yeah, crazy responses to that. So, yeah, don't muck around. All the details, ZM online for the links. TicketTek for Auckland and Ticketmaster for Auckland. I've got the link right here. If you want it, just text in the studio and I'll flick it back to you. Oh, that's so nice of you. Are you going to do some manual?

Some manual labour. I'm going to do some manual labour. See, he's on the tills. He's on the tills. I dug a hole yesterday. This is more manual labour than digging a hole. Is it? Okay.

Well, the poll results. Oh, wait, I was on. Wow, now I need to go back to the poll results. Do you want me to do the poll results? Nah, I can do both because I'm a multitasking manual labor guy. He's on the tools. He's on the tools. I'm on the tools.

You just sit back, sweetheart. You just relax, eh? You put your feet up. Just sit there and look pretty. You put your feet up. Isn't it International Woman's Day or something? You missed it. Which seats are you a bit of a shame?

Sorry, I'll do better next year. End of row or in the middle? Dude, 50-50. Exactly, a 50-50 split, which is great. That's how society works. Because like we said, if you're end of row, you've got great access to toilets, drinks. You can leave.

Especially during a concert. Maybe not like a traditional show, like a halftime, you know? Yeah. Like a comedy or a, what do you call them? A pantomime. Yeah, a pantomime, you know? Yeah. Like a comedy or a, what do you call them? A pantomime. Yeah. A pantomime.

A play. A play. A theatre show. A pantomime. Very specifically Christmas. He's behind you. Yeah. Okay,

some feedback on it. Shay said, I'm an end of the row girlie who has middle row friends. Oh, okay. Isolatedated Sit away from them Sarah, because my husband is 6'4 and needs the aisle for his long Yes

Bracket, fantastic Close bracket, legs Yes, we'll always go on the edge so Aaron can swing out Yeah, don't say that word What? Swing Carry on You can swing it out

We love He swing it out. He swings it out. He swings it out. Sitting on the edge. Oh, that was the word. For us, if I could pick anything, it would be the edge. You're going to get a trigger warning if you're going to say that word. I'm sorry. Trigger warning, but we love the edge because he's tall.

And he sits on the edge. And he sits on the edge. He has to swing out on the edge. Stop it. And it's also where you catch him. I'll throw this McDonald's nugget at you. When you're on the end. It has to swing out on the edge. Stop it. And it's also where you catch a... I'll throw this McDonald's nugget at you. When you're on the edge, you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Yeah, that's right. You're more likely to catch a breeze. But on the edge, the sound isn't as good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coast. That's gold. Flavour. Yeah, good flavour there.

We're just really niche radio references here. We're going to move on. Tony says, I'm always anxious about easily being able to go to the toilet. I also don't like walking through to get out to go to the toilet. It's just like flights. It's aisle seats for me. Yeah, but people put their ass in your face because they're able to get out somehow. Yeah.

Sometimes. Not bad. But I'll always predict. Did you hear that? He likes a bit of froth. He puts his hands up. Not bad. But I'll always predict. Did you hear that? He likes a bit of froth. He puts his hands up. I put my hands up. I'm really like, I'm trying to get out of the way.

Stand up. I hate that standing up. Yeah, people that don't stand up. Yeah, I stand up. I'm just too long. On a plane, eh? Yeah. When you're like, oh, sorry, can I shuffle out?

And they just move their legs to the side. No, no, no. Get up. Get up. I'm not getting up every time you need to go to the side. No, no, no. Get up. Get up. I'm not getting up every time you need to go to the toilet. Get up, get out of the aisle. Little bladder. Sarah, have just done this for your show.

Always an end of row girl. I got a badonga donk. And I don't want to shove that in people's faces getting past them. Hands are up. Hands are up. Hands are up. I'm not touching it. I'm not touching it.

Also, my friends have no taste. So when I end up on my own at the end of the row, at least I'm not sandwiched by a couple of couples or groups. That's cool. You've got less neighbours. God, I can't wait to see this badonkadonkadow show. Yeah, it'll be on the end of the row. The whole show just won't be engaging.

Looking up. Let's do that badonkadonkadow. Could be. Sigourney says, bit of you and no one trying to get in front of you yeah Sigourney Weaver's joined

the show I had no idea she was huge fan you work in Alien unprecedented the first female

action star some have said Ashley front onto the stage and these people walking past the whole time

because they need alcohol to go to the toilet so that sounds like she's in the middle she's in the

middle Courtney depends on the show comedy and Walking past the whole time because they need alcohol to go to the toilet. So that sounds like she's in the middle. She's in the middle, right. She's in the middle. Front onto the stage. Courtney depends on the show comedy and love show middle. A love show? A live show. A live show. Comedy and live show in the middle.

If it's a concert anywhere that's not GA will work for me because I'm a short gal. I'm middle when I'm in the front row like I will be at FVH Live in Christchurch. From Ketiket. Ticket selling fast. Ticket selling fast. Ticket selling fast. Go get them. Send them online for all the details.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. If you've got $37.46 to your name, I've got something you might want to buy. Okay. Now, that's at a rate of 50% off on AliExpress. Ooh, bargain. A website that sells honestly a whole lot of junk. No idea

why this is on AliExpress. It is one of those mink sort of throw blanket things. The image printed on it is of the Pond and Council Buildings of Palmerston North. Now you'll know this building. It is very famous. and council buildings of Palmerston North. Now you'll know this building.

It is very famous. I don't think it's anything... It's very, very brutalist. What do they call that? Brutalist. Very brutalist.

Reminds me of the communist bloc. Yeah, like it's not... 70s, 70s Eastern Europe. We wouldn't call it beautiful. You know, we wouldn't call it...

Well, some people love the brutalist architecture. Yes, yes. I follow a couple of Instagram accounts. I know you do like... High-end brutalist architecture. Yeah, yes. I follow a couple of Instagram accounts. I know you do like yellow. High-end brutalist architecture. Yeah, that's low.

That's like... And it's got yellow mustard in it. Yeah, mustard. It's a weird one, isn't it? Is that the sort of mustard that the 500 tops are now? No, it's not even close. No, we said it's more banana. We're going to have to take you on a stroll to see these.

I'll send a photo on my stroll home today. Please do. And I'll send a photo of my crooked lines. You need a white balance. You will need a white balance. The phone washes it out. You have to make sure that it's spot on. Anyway, so you can buy it in three different sizes. This

Palmerston North throw blanket. Why? Absolutely no idea. No idea. So you can buy literally anything on this website. And for some reason, everyone's perplexed. The mayor of Palmerston North, Grant Smith, is like, I don't know, but I'll buy one.

Yeah. So a whole bunch of people are buying them now, which is only going to sort of encourage their popularity on AliExpress. You know, weirdly on AliExpress sometimes or any sort of website like that, they'll just see that you're from New Zealand and it'll just be some randomly selected photo from New Zealand, like a geolocation thing. Oh, okay.

And it will just AI it onto a blanket and be like, hey, look. I think you're 100% correct. And then I guess it has facilities in which to print these things. Yeah. Which tells me it's going to be a great quality soft blanket. Well, this was an article from the spinoff who said at the time of writing, three blankets had been sold. One to the spinoff, one to the mayor, obviously, and one to God knows who.

And they said in terms of quality, they gave it a 2.5 out of 5. Oh, wow. Okay. So it had arrived. Pretty grainy image. Yep, this is spinoff. Pretty grainy image they reviewed. Not entirely clear why the image was chosen for a blanket.

Do you know what? We should get some blankets printed merch for the live show. Because, you know, some people get cold. Well, ask if you can sleep with us. Some people get cold in a theatre. Yeah. You know, there's always the person that's like, how cold is a little boat?

I get very cold in a theatre. Will I need a puff of this? Yeah, yeah. It's an event. It's an old cinema, isn't it? Yes. A great drafty day. Probably not a jacket, but probably a vest.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I've had all... That is so unprofessional. It was unprofessional. You're right. You'd think after 20 years of doing this... Do you know what I mean? It'd be a little better.

It's this microphone stand. I'm not happy with it. You've never been happy with it, actually? I've never been happy with it. You've got the cool arm. You've got like a crane arm with your microphone on it. There actually is. Clunky, dumb things.

There's disparity in this studio. There's disparity. Wow, okay. This is us all the time with these stupid things. I think it's gender disparity. You've got a nice, elegant stick. Oh, wow. We're not talking until we get one of those.

There's still a hole in the desk from where my ears, but they took it away. That's because you couldn't see your face on the videos, which you liked. I don't care. Kim, congratulations. A double pass to SZA. An extra third show has been announced.

It'll be before the other two on the 13th of April. Those tickets go on sale for that third show, two o'clock tomorrow, livenation.co.nz. So there was a college basketball game that was happening, the NCAA, National Collegiate Athletes Association or something like that. Would it be the college? Big.

National, what is it? I've got it here. It is the National Collegiate. Athletic Association. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's what I said. Right.

I'll pause for apology. And then I want a new mic. No, but didn't it sound like she was making that up? Yeah, it's pretty. Man, I don't know. I believe woman. I tend to believe woman. I apologise.

It sounded like you were making it up. Let's watch. I want to swap woman. I apologise. It sounded like you were making it up. Let's watch. I want to swap mics. I'll sit at the desk. I don't know what to do. So they were playing. There was two teams. They don't have a seat there.

What's that? Switch seats were there. No. Switch seats were there. You can switch back to push the button at the end. What do you need to do between now and then? Switch seats. Take your headphones with you, Han.

No, I'll just switch the can reach....the same ones. Wait, listen. This is weird. It's the nicest seat. King of the castle. No! King of the castle. Yeah, this is good.

I quite like this. Okay. Well, I don't have my article open now. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, it's... What time is it? Well, it's a basketball game, right? It's 7.14 a.m. NCEAP. Okay, so the NCEA, right? It's 7.14 a.m. NCAAP.

Okay, so the NCAA, they were playing some, let's adjust the mic, silent. So smooth and silent. And you can move. Look at that. Meanwhile. Yeah, that's how we have to work. Okay, I'm going to adjust the mic without making a sound

on your mic, Hayley. Okay, so, yeah. I hear it. No, sound. I literally hear it. Well well well What about now The boot is on the other foot

The boot is on the other foot Let me move the mic I put a slippy pad I put a little slippy pad Under it Can I tell my story please So they're playing a game And

One team's like clearly going to win. Okay. But eight minutes before, no, 18 minutes, sorry, before the game finished, they let the confetti cannons off. Oh, accidentally. And like the huge from the ceiling streamers

came pouring down before the game had even finished. Like if you've ever been in an arena at a concert when they do the confetti. Very poor microphone technique from you. Can you please speak into it? I am speaking into it. I literally was speaking into it. Maybe you're popping quite a lot.

Maybe try slightly. Do we need to get him a sock? Yeah, maybe he needs a pop sock. Can we get a pop sock? Maybe a little pop sock, I think. Jesus. Come on. While you're in the office, get him a random warning as well.

I am speaking into the microphone. You just put his name on it. I am speaking into the microphone. He's a pion here, isn't he? Anyway, so 18 minutes ago, these streamers start pouring down onto the court. The game has to be called off for a quick sweep up, but the audience starts celebrating.

18 minutes is a long time in basketball. It's like a knee jerk reaction when something goes like boom you're like yay and you don't really know what's happening. So the timing was well off. The sweep up would have taken forever. I know. They paused for a whole 8 minutes. And it still would have

been floating down too during the game. It would have caught on rafters and lights and stuff and then a little breeze would have dislodged yeah because it would have got caught in like rafters and lights and stuff and then like a little breeze would have dislodged it it's those long awful streams and those like stadiums in America are huge so it was very very tall did the team end up winning?

yeah the team that like see if that was me this is what I was like let's just call it there thank you Gerard we just need a pop sock for this thank you anyway I want to know I was like a sport. Let's just call it there. We've just got a pop sock coming in. Thank you, Jarrah. We just need a pop sock for this. Put that on Fletcher's mind. Thank you. Put that on the microphone. Anyway, I want to know, it's sparked an idea in me,

Kayleigh, the master of this show, the runner, the captain of this ship today. King of the castle. King of the castle. King of the castle. Look at me. Now, when was the timing all off? Because this guy's gone 18 minutes early.

Oh, yeah, I love this. Someone's on the trigger button. Yeah. Now, I wonder, like, you know, we've all ruined a surprise party before. But when you've jumped out and you've just completely done the wrong timing or if you maybe ruined a proposal with your timing or even if you've, like, turned up for a flight a day early or a day late. I know people that have done that.

Yeah, they're at the airport. They're like, have you? Yeah, yeah. I've been in an Uber and been like, it's tomorrow. When that cyclone hit, remember my friend Orban was here from England and we were driving to the airport and he was rebooking a flight

and he booked it for March, the 16th of March, and it was the 16th of February. Yeah. But you know how like usually the 16th of March would be the same weekday as the 16th of February. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a cock up. We got there and turned around and came home. Okay, well, give us a call. But you know how usually the 16th of March would be the same weekday as the 16th of February? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a cock-up.

We got there and turned around and came home. Okay, well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-NM is the number. You can text it, 9696. When was your timing all wrong? Like maybe you celebrated winning a race. Let her press the button. Wait, what do I click? Let her press play.

You press play. That one. Yeah. Okay. 0800-DARLS-NM. You can text as well. 9696. When was your timing?

What's the intro in the song? See how it says 27 seconds? Yeah. That means you've got 27 seconds of talking before the song starts. So I click it now? Yeah. You click it now and then start the rest of your piece. So 0800.

Oh, you've got to pull it down. 0800 dial ZDM. You can text as well. 9696. When was your timing all wrong? And then gradually fade that up. Like beautifully fade that up. Yeah, we will.

Beautifully fade that up. Teamwork, teamwork. And then 12 seconds, you've got to speak right before the song starts playing. Okay, it's 7.18. This is Imagine Dragons Radioactive on ZM Put back in my chair

haven't I? Now we want to know when Watch that mic technique. Sorry carry on Oh sorry I'll pop the pops on We want to know when your timing was just completely wrong because it was a college basketball game and the guy whose job it was, only job, was to push the streamers at the end of the win.

But I know what that's like. The finger would have been lingering on the button being like, I really can't miss this. 18 minutes. And then maybe a little tap, tap, tap, accidental. I mean, I can understand 18 seconds before the final whistle. Totally. Last bit, you're getting caught up in the game. Oh, accidental. I mean, I can understand 18 seconds before the final, you know, whistle. Totally. Last bit, you're getting caught up in the game.

Oh, no. Yeah. 18 minutes. You pushed the buzzer too early. Maybe there was an intrusive thought, like, I wonder if you could just put your finger on there but not press it. But just like, do you reckon you could half press it without it going off? What would be the worst that happened if it did go off?

100%, I reckon that's what it was. Because how else do you do it 18 minutes early? Anyway, we want to know when you got your timing wrong I've got some text messages should we get started yeah let's get started celebrated winning the school cross country

early and got blitzed past so I was easily in front put my hands up for a celebratory run and someone just ripped past me last minute

I love when that happens do you know what's terrible is there'll be a photo as well yeah what happened and then your parents as well that happens. Do you know what's terrible is there'll be a photo as well. Yeah. What happened? And then your parents as well. That happens at the Olympics and stuff every now and then. Yeah, it does.

Because it's like toe, like could be a toe ahead. Yeah. Jacob, when did you get the timing wrong? I think it's pronounced Ya-hob. Ya-hob. Good morning. Ya-hob, welcome to show. Ya-hob, you will be celebrating like us at the re-election of President Putin.

Again, the grant of Putin will control Mother Russia. Fantastic. You're welcome. Now, where did you get the timing wrong, comrade? So, we're moving houses from Dunedin back up to the mighty Waikato. Yeah, Kia ora. Kia ora. And so I'd driven overnight with my ute and my trailer and my father in the car

and a little passenger of a cat, and we arrived in Depicton around four in the morning. I slept in my car for an hour or so and then um shut on over to the ferry terminal and went to enter in my key or show her my ticket and she goes oh you booked this for the 16th of december and uh it was in fact the 16th of november oh no did she did they let you on no they didn't she she wasn't so happy at letting me on and I'm not sure if you guys have ever travelled with a cat, let alone

for a quick ride. Yeah, dude. They're not having a bar of it, eh? Yeah, it was a real tough situation. Thankfully, my girlfriend was driving up at the same time and thank God she had booked the ticket to the right state, so I managed to ship the cat

over to her cat, which was a definite weight off her shoulders because I didn't have to deal with the screaming. And what, you just lived in Picton for a month? Beautiful place. Well, so I hung around that morning, went and had breakfast at some pub that opened really early. You have a way better day than she is. I know what pub it is.

It's the one on the corner, isn't it? I think so, yeah. You walk up from the ferry terminal and there's this beautiful old pub up there. Don't forget the great toasted sandwiches. Toasty too. Toasty has to be toasted sandwiches. I mean, I could spend a month there. Have you been to the Marlborough Sounds?

God, I've only been there once. I would live there. It was very beautiful. I did quite, it was quite hard to not crack a cold one at 7 in the morning. I bet, after a rough start. When did you get on? What ferry did you get on? So I ended up getting on Bluebridge.

I spent the rest of the morning randomly phone calling people and I'd flag down truckers and ask if I could put my ute on the back of their trailer. And sneak onto the boat. Genius. I love that. I love that. Having absolutely zero luck, and somehow I got the phone number of one of the top managers here at Bluebridge

and sorted me out in a couple of minutes, and it was all tickety-toot. There you go. And they've got those play-with-yourself rooms, don't they, on the Bluebridge? Yeah, they do. Yeah. Fantastic. It's rude not to. It's called your truck cab.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. Jacob, thank you so much. Taylor. Good morning, Taylor. When did you get the timing wrong? So my mum, she planned this big holiday for her 40th birthday, and we were all ready to go. We were going to Fiji.

We all packed up, ready to go, had a great time. We got back, and my nana asked us, oh, like, how was your time? We were like, yeah, it's been good. And she was like, oh, yeah, it's strange because you're going over and you're in your 40th and you're only 39. Oh, my gosh, you had the wrong year. Yes, she wasn't even 40 yet, so we just went through her 39th. How did your mum think she was a year older than she was?

You just forget, right? Yeah, we don't know. She still talks about it to this day. But, yeah, she thought she was 40 and she was 39. So we just went off today and enjoyed her 39th, not her 40th. Wow, and did she do anything for her 40th? Or was she like, I did go to Fiji last year? Yeah, no, she was like, I went to Fiji last year.

Yeah, no, no, I'd do it again. I'd do it again. I'd go somewhere new, exactly. Taylor, thank you, some messages in. Once flew from Auckland to Wellington on the 22nd of April to surprise my bestie for her birthday, which is the 22nd of May. Oh, my God.

So a month early. Well, that's a big surprise, isn't it? Yeah, a huge surprise. You're here for my birthday? Wow, it's a month away. I'm so surprised. Staying in the spare room for a month. Congratulated my

sister-in-law in person about her pregnancy that she'd told me about on the phone in front of the entire family before realising she hadn't told them yet and had planned on telling everybody at lunch that day. I thought I had won ducks at school. Started to stand up as they read out the accomplishment of the ducks. Oh, you did not.

No, no, no, no, no. It wasn't my name. They weren't ducks. That's embarrassing. They weren't ducks. I just pretend I was going to the toilet and I'd leave and never come back. I wouldn't have even messaged that in. I'd be so embarrassed.

That's a haunting. That is a haunting. I got my timing wrong while baking a cake. Oh, yeah? Baked it for 180 minutes at 55 degrees, not 55 minutes at 180 degrees. Yeah, okay. Did the smell not...

Do you reckon it would slow cook? 180 minutes, that's three hours, right? I reckon it would just run three hours at 55. Rubber it? Nah, it would rubber it. It would rubber it, eh? It would rubber it. It would rubber it.

I think it would rubber it. I want to say this person's not a baker, and they need not apply for the next season of The Great Kerry Baker. Getting another season, are you? Oh, have I just cursed it? Probably. I don't know. Can you keep your drunk mouth shut when you're talking to the commission?

Well, I just think that they need to have a little bit of peace in my mind. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. There was a bitughan and Hayley Play ZM So there was a bit of chaotic energy in the studio yesterday post-show when the tickets went on sale for FEH Live and Hayley was going to record a video about how well the ticket sales were going and don't dilly-dally get your tickets.

And I was sitting where I usually sit. She was standing beside me here. I'm sort of, for the listener who can't see, the photo wall. Ushering to my left, to the photo wall. She stood in front of it, and I didn't know what was happening, and she made a loud noise,

and the phone was on the ground, and I thought she'd dropped the phone. No. And so I looked down. I was trying to do a fun, funky, sort of beastie boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and I thought the three of us could tower over the phone, because we do a lot of like, hey, Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and I thought the three of us could tower over the phone

because we do a lot of like, hey guys, here we are. I was like, why don't we tower over it? You were trying a new angle. I was trying a new angle. Okay. Well, it was less of the beastie boys and more of the yeasty yoys.

Oh, God. I looked down. You know I made it through summer. She made it through summer without thrash, ladies and gentlemen, and that is no easy feat. So I look down at the screen thinking the phone's been dropped and I want to see if it's cracked.

And I look at it and I'm like, what's that? And then I use my eagle vision to zoom in and she has it on self-facing camera and she's squatting over it. No, I wasn't squatting over it. You were a leg either side of the screen and like that. And what were you wearing, a loose pant? A loose short. I was wearing a wide culotte.

A wide culotte. A short culotte. Did you see the – I looked and I was like, what is that? I thought you saw it. And then I used my angle vision to zoom in, and that was when I saw the curvature of the earth. Oh, Hayley.

Yeah. So because I was like this over it. I saw the Mariana Trench, if you will. The culotte. The Grand Canyon. The culotte was open. You know they found plastics in there? They found like bottles and cans.

Microplastics. Micro and macros. And maxis, all the plastics. All of the plastics. Yeah, I saw it too. And I screamed when I saw, I saw the back, the beginning of the curvature of the buttock. I just saw a lot of flesh.

Flesh. But then I had to yell. He said, oh my God, I just saw your gooch. And I said. I said gooch. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah., I just saw your gooch. And I said. I said gooch. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I said, no, no, no, no.

I'm wearing flesh-coloured undies. Right. So it all was very fleshy. Yeah. Under there. So I reckon I'm about Pythagoras. God, the message was right. We would need to work it out.

We would need Pythagoras. How far it is from my eye to the ground and then the ground to the three metres? The screen. Two metres. Two metres tops. Two metres away from two metres on a six and a half inch screen. Yep. I think I saw it.

But she assures me I didn't because the flesh coloured undies made it seem like he was seeing pure skin but it wasn't. Also, even if you had a, you would be so lucky, because your wife, I showed her my vulva cast. Yeah. She said it's very pretty.

High praise. Thank you. She said a lot of things on Saturday. She was pretty buzzed. She couldn't even remember where we got Chinese from on the way home when we stopped at the Chinese on the way home. She also agreed that you could both enjoy lovely boobs when they're around.

And did you hear her say as we were leaving the pub, if you want to try a threesome, we can. Did you hear that? I'm sure I'm not the only bit. But I need a witness. I did not hear that. I need a witness. I'm not making it up for a gag. I haven't brought it up with her yet. She was grabbing my boobs at one point, but I don't think we're going to, I mean, you've seen it now.

No, you. No offence. Well no you've seen it now no offence well you've seen it now maybe you need to start running a recorder you need to start running your notes on your watch because I want to bring it up

but I think she thinks I'm just gonna say I need a witness that heard it my friend I shall do this for you Aaron may have heard it in fact I do remember hearing this

I got you I think you're gonna need to be a justice of the peace some kind of you know like I'm gonna need to get this signed off proposed threesome signed off by a JP. Were they still down at the public libraries Tuesday? Yeah. Or a citizens' advice bureau?

Imagine rocking in. Now, my wife, while intoxicated, but I believe a binding agreement, did propose... Can I get a signature on this? Stamp and sign. Stamp and sign. Stamp and sign. Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, you know that TikTok gave the idea of spending a day in bed a name? They love to put a title on something. Bed rotting. Which was like rotting in your bed for a day. It's not the sexiest name, is it? No, it's a gross name. Also called duvet day. Duvet day. Which is not the sexiest name, is it? No, it's a gross name. To be totally honest with you. Also called duvet day.

Duvet day. Which is a lot nicer sounding. Bed rot. And a psychologist has chimed in on this and been like, yeah, great,

you know, a day in bed to rest, recover, and just look after yourself is great every now and then. But when it turns into bed days and when you actually start rotting in your bed,

you know, in your bed, it's, that screams depression. Yeah, I was going to say, it does have big depression in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're sort of like, careful that a lot of TikTokers are being like, I just need to rot in my bed.

You know, not to be like, oh, that's so cool and trendy. And if you want to do the same, maybe to listen to this. Now, Karween, you had a rot this weekend. Yeah, my friend messaged me on Saturday morning and said, Carween, you had a rot this weekend. Yeah, my friend messaged me on Saturday morning and said, hey, do you feel like a

rot night tonight? And I said, yeah, I do. Listen, we had had big weeks. We wanted to just switch off. Popped a little chick flick on. He's just not that into you, obviously. Right. Oh, no, that's bad. Oh, no, neither are you in a relationship, say? Nah. Okay, that's alright then. Yeah. You shouldn't watch that if you, obviously. Right. And... Oh, no, that's bad. Oh, no, neither are you in relationships, eh?

Nah. Okay, that's all right then. Yeah. You shouldn't watch that if you're in a relationship. It'll really, it'll make a spiral. The 2000s, that movie, that book, oh, that ruined a lot of good relationships. It also doesn't really hold up very well.

Yeah, no, no, it's not great. Don't worry about it, though. We're not judging your movie choice. You're rotting. Popped the movie on, sat on the couch in comfy clothes, did some diamond painting, diamond art,

whatever it's called. But this sounds quite social and not as rotty as like a lot of people are, you know, describing and participating. When I think of bed rot, I think of being like

profoundly hungover, like not cooking a single meal, not really moving. Uber Eats. Uber Eatsing like three meals of the day not leaving the house not leaving the house not getting changed not showering do you rot shannon yeah and it's very purposeful for me i'll set up for it it's not like i wake up and i just don't

leave bed i'll leave bed change into new pajamas okay well this is all fresh quite positive yeah i put a hair mask in, put some like, I'm a big hair maintenance girl, so I'll do like four or five steps. It shows, it shows. It shows, actually. Lovely. Yeah.

But yeah, I'll definitely set myself up for it. I'll make sure all my crochet's there, all the yarn I need for the day. That's right. Got the below deck ready to go, laptops plugged in. I've got to have everything there and then I can rot but it's definitely like a purposeful activity

I think if you're not leaving bed then I think that's when he gets a bit worried Do you do any activity like do you close your rings before you do a bed rot day? No, not everyone closes my rings Yeah, because she's doing that That's cheating

That's cheating When I play piano it does it too Closed and you're like thank you Yeah, it counts I've been sitting down all day. But you swear by them. Yeah, definitely. And I mean, I try to get a walk in every day and stuff like that.

But I think it's really helpful after a big long week to purposefully say, I'm going to spend a bit of time on myself and what feels good for me right now. I suppose if you're doing it because you're feeling good, that's great. But they're saying like if you're feeling bad and you're like, actually, I probably need a day in bed, you kind of starve yourself of a lot of things that will chemically make you feel better. You need to do the opposite. Sunshine. Yeah. I hate to

say it, banana and a walk near a body of water. You know? Yeah. Those kind of things going outside and getting some movement in. So I think, I'm sure there's a time and place for a good old bed rot. But if you're someone who's finding themselves perhaps doing it A lot more often and you're doing it because you're not Feeling good, maybe look

A little deeper into it It's 11 minutes away from 8, we want to talk Next about something you've tried You and Aaron Yeah, yeah We said we were going to try this for a long time And then yesterday I was reminded of it And so I planted the seed to get it started again.

Let's see how it went. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. So, okay, me and Aaron have been bad at, like, date nights for the last year or so because the house, basically. Renovations. Renovations. Hard to get motivated to go on a date when you can't even have a shower. Yeah.

So now that that's sort of getting better, we were, you know, thinking of prioritising it a bit more. And I think we talked a while ago about a date night idea where each date you do something starting with the next letter of the alphabet. And then yesterday we talked about making your hot girl walks more interesting by saying each greeting to a passerby with the letter of the alphabet. Alphabetical. All the working your way through.

Yeah, and it reminded me of this date idea. And I was like, right. And I text Aaron yesterday and I said, right, we can't afford to go on all these big dates like abseiling and then like boating. I was going to say Botox. I was going to say Botox appointment as well. Get a tufa.

C. Cardiovascular climbing. Rock climbing. We can't afford that at the moment. Custard squares. Oh my God, what a great date. I love custard squares. So I said instead, for the next 24 days,

let's just do one little moment together that starts with the letter. Okay. Right? Like we can find 30 minutes a day to do something. And so yesterday was A? Well, the text was ignored. Oh. I'll just say the text was ignored. Okay. And then I went home

and I said, you know, so what have you got to do today? He said, oh, not much. And I said, is your afternoon free? And he said, oh, it could be. I said, oh, great. I said, I've got a night. What do you think about my idea? And he said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, what? Explain the idea to everyone you think about my idea and he said oh yeah yeah yeah so like what explain the idea

to him how good is a yeah yeah yeah yeah run a moment again yeah so it didn't really look yeah yeah yeah what was it

yeah yeah yeah tell me and I said so you know spout out the idea to him and then I said so you know

what could we do today I've brought so much to the table I've brought the idea I was like now you just need to bring some suggestions and then he started today? I've brought so much to the table. I've brought the idea. I was like, now you just need to bring some suggestions. And then he started saying, well, I've got to fill up the back of the ute

with this wood and I'm going to take over to Jake's house. When I hear that, I go, okay, you'll have a couple of beers there then. And then I'll come back and I've got to do this and do that and do that. I said, see, afternoon's not free.

No, no, I think it could be, but yeah, I've just got to, because then I might have to go to Mighty 10 and get stuff to do this and do that and do that. I said, see, afternoon's not free. No, no, no, I think it could be, but yeah, I've just got to, because then I might have to go to Mighty 10 and get stuff to do the painting. I was like, okay. So I said, it can just be a small thing. And I said, what about art? And he said, we could draw a picture of each other.

Okay. And he goes, ah, yeah. I said, well, what are some suggestions that you may want to put forward? I can hear how provoking that is, even just saying it. And he said, um. A, all the stuff on the ute. No, his first thing was, uh, Aaron. And I said, yep, that is your name.

Good boy, clever. Then he said, um, Amble your name. Good boy, clever. Then he said, Amble. We could go for a walk. An Amble? Okay. And I said, I'm just trying to think.

I said, yeah, but walk feels more like a W day. You know? Let's try to think outside of the box. And then literally his session was, arrange that pile of wood onto the back of the ute so I can go drop it off to the bins at Jake's.

B, bin the wood. C, couple of beers. Couple of beers with Jake. Jake's beers. Always got beers in the workshop fridge. Yeah, but Hayley's not at this. These are things you could totally get in on. But you didn't do the...

D, dump the stuff. Then we literally got to the end of the day and I was like, we'll find some time to find an A activity. Yeah. And I started making dinner, and I went in to be like, should we just try a little like, ah, and he was asleep. He had a nap. Okay.

Then I was like, it's okay, I'll bring him in his dinner, and I brought in some tacos, and then he was like, yum. And I said, you just enjoy those. You've worked hard today. Yeah. Arranging the wood on the back of the ute for Jake. And then I went in to get the plate and see what we could do. And he's back asleep.

And then I guess we add a shower. Yeah. And then we went asleep. And that was day one of our alphabetical date day. Wow. Okay. So it's going well. It's going so well.

I can't wait to see what B is today. Oh, shit. Play ZM's Fletch for the daily. Play ZM. Now, I love my partner, but he made a bad suggestion for my alphabetic date nights. I love my partner, but, and I mentioned this last week, he can't put away the cardboard empty toilet rolls. There was no empty toilet rolls at your place at the moment. Because I picked them up, Vaughn. I thought you might have. Oh, wow. I thought away the cardboard empty toilet rolls. There was no empty toilet rolls

at your place. Because I picked them up, Vaughn. Oh, wow. I thought you were in a standoff. I thought you were in a standoff and waiting until you gave in. It was the people. It's the listeners. They all messaged after I shared that I'm in the standoff and they said, hun, you're going to be in there forever. Just put them in the bin. Oh, right.

And so I did. Anyway, I'm sharing this because a woman shared online that her husband puts away the groceries, quote unquote, but the way he does it is he just puts the bag in the fridge. Like, and look at the state of this. The freezer bag is in the freezer. The fridge bag of fridge stuff is in the fridge in the bag still. No.

And then she's like, I asked you to put away the groceries. And he's like, I did. Yeah, but you can't just put the bag of mints in the freezer. You've got to take it out of the bag. You're going to lose so much space, the baggage. And then you can't see, like, that freezer is a disaster. No, it's a mess. Also, someone commented that they could see a bag of salt

that had been put in the fridge. Now that's gonna solidify. It's gonna clump. It's gonna clump. We've got a clump on our hands. We've got a clump on our hands here. Anyway, it sparked a little thread online that I think we could continue right here, right now. Okay. I love my partner, but... So it's

kind of like a little... I love it's kind of like a little. I love it. It's like a little vent that you can have about your partner in a loving way. Nothing serious. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love my partner, but I want to leave him and I've wanted to for the last 20 years. That's on you. No, not that.

Not that. That's a full-blown meltdown. This is just a little vent. Shannon has an example. I want to burp the lid. You are a kombucha. And we need to burp. And you're a little burping. You're fermenting. event. Shannon has an example. You are a kombucha. And you're a little burpin. You're fermenting. Shannon, you have an example.

I love my partner so much. The magician. But sometimes I don't want to pick a card. Do you know what he has started doing? I said, I've reached my limit. He's asked Siri now when he needs to practice. He'll go, Siri, pick a card. And she'll be like, four of spades.

But then he knows what card it is. No, she doesn't say. She won't say. No, no, she'll say, but he'll do it for tricks where he needs to. But sometimes I don't want to pick a card. Love him, but I love you, but I'm just going to pick a card. I like that. That's a great example. I tell you what, the text

is coming in freaking fast. I love that. Why don't you say that one that you said off-air, Vaughn? No, we can't say the swear words. Oh, you have shared some off-air ones as a close group

of six friends. I don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't here. I was out of the room. Remember, I was getting a drink. That's right. I wouldn't get a drink.

How dare you? I love my partner, but he doesn't shower before bed unless he's done a poo right before. Good Lord, we needed to let off some steam and we're happy to be the vessel. The text machine of this event is coming in like this.

It's running hot. So we want to know, we want you to use the sentence, I love my partner, but, and then you can tell us your little qualm, your little gripe with them and we're going to burp you we're going to let off a little bit of steam Thanks to everybody who literally did start

the text messages, I love my partner but Oh it's very good, now there was a woman online who said I love my partner but when he puts away the groceries he simply puts away the entire bag into the fridge or freezer, now that's not on I'm going to say that's weaponised

incompetence. It is. It is not getting good at something you definitely don't want to do. Somebody said, along those lines, I love my partner but he unpacks the individual meal bags from HelloFresh. No, no, no, you keep them in the kit. You keep them in the kit because then everything you need is

Fletch looks blank. Everything you need is in the little bag and you get like five bags. And that's an okay reason, but he takes it out and unpacks it. The fridge stuff in the fridge, obviously, with the kits. Go play Findy Findy to do your HelloFresh. Yeah. Nonspawn. Some text messages in.

I love my fiance, but if he tells me just don't worry when I explain about how I'm anxious about something. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Just don't. Oh, my God. Just don't worry. I'm about how I'm anxious about something. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Just don't. Oh, my God. Just don't worry. I'm feeling really anxious.

What about? Not how it works, my friend. Not how it works. Oh, don't worry. Everything's all right. But what is the right thing to say to that? Well, okay, so you know my friend Pragmatic Johnny, who is like our group's Yoda.

We turn to him when we need advice. He would have the perfect, he says, do you want a solution or do you just want me to agree with you? Yeah, I like that. And he would probably deliver it slightly more pragmatically than I just did. They don't even know what they're doing and they said I just need to be agreed with. He's like, I'll do it. Mine's like, I'm feeling anxious. What do you

need? Yeah. How can I help? Last night, are you what do you need from me to be left alone? Or this really funny gag You ruined the alphabet dating game. I'm feeling anxious about something and you're like, if you could just wait there for a second, I'll transfer you to my manager.

And then you put on Dave Dobbin and you just leave the room for a little bit and you come back and you're like, hi. Yeah. Okay. David, complete the sentence, I love my partner, but... I love my partner, but she needs to stop asking to bring kittens home. Oh, but David!

But David, it's so cute, David! In a fostering situation, David, or is she keeping them all? Well, when she was younger, she found like three or four on the side of the road and took them home. And after we got married, she got a kitten from a friend, and now she's asking to bring more kittens home. And we've got three dogs and two horses. Oh yeah, and we're in a cosy, livy cry. We can't be

fearful. And they just go and break your heart by dying on you. Aww. My cat died yesterday. Don't want to talk about it. Don't want to bring it up. We don't want to talk about it. And do not send another one our way. We don't need more heartbreak. We don't know. David, thank you. Beverly, complete the Yeah, I want to talk about it. And do not send another one our way. We don't need more hardware. We don't know. David, thank you.

Beverly, complete the sentence, I love my partner, but. Is this me? Beverly, are you Bev? Good, thank you. I love my partner, but he never, ever wipes the kitchen bench down or the stovetop when he's finished. Do you know what, Bev? Yeah.

What are the most popular text messages we've had in too? Really? About people saying I love a potter, but I don't wipe the bench, lads. Lasses too, because I'm not just saying it's the lads. Yeah. Very easy way to keep in the good books is to wipe the bench. Yeah, right. Just a bit of a squirt with the bottle.

Are you squirting? I'm just getting a hot water on a rag. I just got hot water cloth is enough. Unless I'm cleaning the whole kitchen. Yeah, people do love an extra spray. Maybe actually the smell really lets your partner know that you've gone to the extra effort there. Yeah, spray, yeah.

That's true. Thank you, Bev. Some messages in. I love my partner, but he's a 35-year-old man that flicks his boogers. Oh my God, I would never. Sometimes that me. Oh my God, I would never in my car.

No. I love my husband, but he thinks he's a great driver, a fabulous chef, and a massage god. He has none of these things. I love my partner, but I'm going through menopause, so I hate my partner. But I love my partner, but I hate him right now,

but I will love him soon. Okay. I love my partner, but she chews too loud. Oh. I love my partner, but he never wipes the effing bench. There you go. That one's a spicy one. I love my partner but he sells and buys a

different car every two months. Is that Mike? Is that Matt? It might be Mike and Matt. He buys a car every two months. I know a lot of people will feel this. I love my partner but I am going through menopause. Right. Perimenopause, menopause, all the pauses.

I love my partner, but he collects sports memorabilia. I love my partner, but he leaves his Crocs in the bedroom doorway and I trip over them every night. And they're always really grippy. It'd be quite funny, though, to hear that. I love my wife, but she's a bit of a slob, dumps her clothes on the lounge floor at the end of the day and never picks them up and never throws out empty pillboxes or coffee bags

when she's finished. Okay. Wow, we're really airing some laundry here, aren't we? Oh, I love my partner but he clips his toenails inside the house. I do that

and then I vacuum them up in the same spot. Is that not cool? No. As long as you vacuum them out. You live by yourself. Outside. I mean, what does Margaret

say about that? My fake wife. My fictitious wife. I've got a restraining order against you she's got she's got absolute hooves yeah we saw the restraining order thank god

you gotta drop that because she's a lovely woman and she deserves better I think we might have heard from your wife my wife yeah I love my partner but does he really need

to restack the dishwasher I do I do yes every time I've got when people come over to my like their house or I've got a friend staying at the moment restack the dishwasher? I do. I do. Yes. Every time. When people come over to my, like their house sit

or I've got a friend staying at the moment in the spare room, the dishwasher, oh my God, they put the forks around the wrong way. I was like,

monsters. Monsters. To restack the whole thing. Yeah, washing a pot. I was like, oh my God. They just chuck some plates on top?

Absolutely not. Like some sort of animal? I love my partner but the scissors go in the top drawer. That's very picky there. No, scissors go in the utensil drawer. In the utensil drawer, number two. Number two, second drawer? I love my partner, but the scissors go in the top drawer. That's very picky there. No, scissors go in the utensil drawer. In the utensil drawer, number two.

Number two, second drawer. I love my partner, but he pegs the washing on the line by the shoulders, so I get a little dense. No, naughty. You need to peg. You need to do the pegging. And then show him how it's done so that he learns it. So you peg him.

And he learns the right order. That's right. How do you prefer your pegging again? I know you do double. You match your pegs. I do. I match my pegs by the dollar. You color match pegs.

I color match pegs. Which is pedantic. No, I don't care. I do pit or bottom. No, where do you pit or bottom? T-shirts, the bottom. The hem. Is that what it's called?

Yeah, hem or pit. No, not the pits. Yeah, but pit the bottom, the hem. Is that what it's called? Yeah, hem or pit. No, not the pits. Yeah, but pit's hidden. Got that. Never see the pinch. Never see the pinch. I love my partner, but every night when he snores, I plot his murder. Give so-art

silicon earplugs from T-Mill or AliExpress. That's my tip. You sleep like a baby. Or a bed separation. We cannot keep up with this. Yeah, a sleep divorce. We're going to cover this in a little bit of pod today. Yeah. You can get the rest.

I do want to finish on this one, though, because it was so gross when I read it out. It was sort of a unilateral feeling of disgust. I love my partner, but he gets a toothpick, picks all the stuff out of his teeth, then rubs it on his finger and sniffs it for a few minutes. Stop it. And also, that's worn, because you love a toothpick.

I haven't even thought of it and I love a sniff. He loves to smell his own bodily goods, eh? Well, just to make sure I'm, you know, in line. Yeah. Because if it really stinks, you might need to do something about it. Okay. I've been flossing lately. Listen to this.

Oh, yeah, that's good. Good gaps. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's Pirate Week here at Fact of the Day. Arr! Arr! Me urties. And we're covering flags today.

The pirate flag. Probably the most famous aspect of the pirate. Other than the pig leg and the eye patch. The pig leg. Well, the eye patch we know. Remember I covered the eye patch? Yes. If you missed it, sub fact, because I feel it's such a well-known fact.

Yeah. It doesn't make the high bar set for fact of the day. Facts is that the pirates wore eye patches not because they had no eye underneath. It was because they go- A drooping Botox. Yeah, not because of that, not because of a bad tox. They would wear it so when they went under deck,

where- Below deck, I think they call it now. Below deck. The TV show. When they went with Aisha and the crew on Below Deck, they'd flick up the eye patch because it was so dark down there and their eye was already accustomed to the dark so they could

shut the eye that they'd been using upstairs and they could see in the dark for the cannonballs and such. A dark eye and a light eye. Sword fighting people down there. They should bring that back on Below Deck. It's a great idea. Bring it back. Because they've got lights inside the ships now. Too much drama at the moment. They've got fluorescent bulbs the ships now. Too much drama at the moment.

They've got fluorescent bulbs. Need more eye patches. So that's the eye patch situation. Bonus fact. About the flags, the Jolly Roger, the most well-known flag, that's a skull and crossbones situation. Now that is with the bones underneath the skull. And across. That's technically the Jolly Roger.

And across. If the skull's on top of the bones, that's famous pirate Emmanuel Wynne's flag. Oh, okay. And there was not just the one pirate flag for all pirates. Different pirate gangs had different flags.

Right. Well, it's a bit like the mob and the killer bees don't have the same flag, do they? They don't. They're all gang members. In different colours. But there's different gangs, aren't there? Yeah. Colours is also a very interesting point. What colour would you say the traditional pirate flag is?

Black. Uh-huh. But the red pirate flag, story's not often told of the red pirate flag because the red indicated that they would be taking blood. The black pirate flag, they just wanted your goodies. And so that'd let you go if you handed everything over peacefully. You'd get an Apple Watch.

They'd cruise in and they'd just be in a ship and they'd be like, oh, who's that? And just as they got on you, up goes the flag. Now, if it was a black one, you'd be like, damn. If we fight, they'll fight back. But if we just give them what they want, they're just going to leave us alone. If the red flag went up, your story wasn't going anywhere. Oh, no.

Unless you could beat the pirates. Oh God. I reckon I could, but do you know what I mean? I'd take them. Yeah. You'd take a pirate? Yeah, man. You'd take a pirate. Well, the golden age of piracy, which I just love in researching for these pirate facts. The 2000s. They keep talking about the golden age of piracy. Not digital downloads.

Not the mid to late 2000s. The golden age of piracy, the early downloads. Not the mid to late 2000s. The golden age of piracy, the early 18th century. So all the pirates had flags and it was a bit of a la-di-da if you had a cool flag. So Calico Jack Rackham,

he took the Jolly Roger but he's like, you know what's scarier than bones? Swords. He had the crossed swords on his skull above it. Oh, okay. Which was badass. One of the other famous, Bartholomew Roberts was a very famous pirate. He had a flag where he was holding an hourglass out, and the other person holding the hourglass was deaf.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds like a lot of detail on a flag, though. A lot of detail on a flag. Henry Every's Jolly Roger was in red, so it was really bad. Skull, profile Skull, wearing a bandana with an earring above the two. And that was a flag. Gay pirate. Yes, because it's in the gay air.

And he's got a cute little bandana on, cute little hat. The gay pirate. Little do-rag. Was it in the gay air? Yeah, it was in the gay air. And it was a red flag. Okay. So he'd get you.

So today's fact of the day is whilst the Jolly Roger was the most popular pirate flag, pirates had many flags and a red flag meant death. Fact of the day, day, got a question, I believe, for the group in regards to me. Yeah, so at Disturbed, this isah-ah. Ooh-ah-ah. This is the horrible sounding concert you both went to. It was lovely. It was perfection. Yeah. Okay.

Hayley and I have a habit of getting separated at these rock gigs. Yeah. Okay. So we decided to add each other on Find My. Just in case we got lost because it was like such a massive crowd. This is a big step in your friendship. I know. Yeah.

Yeah. What? Vaughn. Unrelated. Yeah. Yeah. What, Vaughn? Unrelated. Oh. He's joking. He's joking. Just water or food as well?

Just water. Okay. Is it alright to be divorced the same time? No, entirely. I'm okay. So you put it in

and then you just swallow. Yeah. Let me try again. Flawless technique. There you go. Beautiful. Cleared. You're welcome.

So we did We added each other on fine my In case we got lost And we could like Pinpoint each other's location Does that work At like a concert The fine my

Like if you zoom in It's not bad Is it And aren't you If you're close enough It'll point you at them Oh okay I know there's no air tiles

It does It kind of points you at them Yeah Well we didn't air tile each other No We didn't go that far Maybe next time Yeah Maybe next time Maybe next time The more air tiles it does, it kind of points you at them. Yeah. Well, we didn't air tile each other. No. We didn't go that far. No, maybe next time.

Yeah, maybe next time. Maybe next time. And yesterday I was popping open Find My to see when the midi was coming home. You're tracking your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah. This is why Aaron doesn't have that. Very possessive. Aaron doesn't even know this function exists.

Really? He wants to know if he's got time. Yeah, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. To clean the house. Yes, you're not wrong. How long have I got? To clean the house. Yes, to do the dishes.

Karen wants to know how long he's got to clean the place. Vigorously scrub. And instead of just going straight and seeing the midi, driving, show me where Hayley was. It was weird, dude. Where was I? I think you're at home. In your living room, perhaps.

Oh, so you z at home. Yeah, right. In your living room, perhaps. Oh, that's what you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, okay. Having a little, ooh, ah! But, like, do I delete you? Is it rude to delete you? Do you know, because I thought the same thing. I don't know why I went on it.

Maybe it's because I like to track Fletcher's whereabouts just to make sure my boy's safe. Especially since, you know, Margaret's lost track of all that. Well, he's blown to disaster. So she'll message me, I'll tell her where he's at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't. This fictitious wife thing has to stop.

She's got an Instagram account, guys, if you're not following her. We honestly don't know who's running the Instagram account, but shit, every time it posts, I laugh. Yeah. The restraining order was very funny. It was very funny. It was very funny, yeah. But I saw it, because I opened. The restraining order was very funny. It was very funny. But I saw, because I opened up on the weekend as well,

and then I was like, oh, yeah, Jared and I are on Find My. And I saw that you were, like, really close to my house, and I was like, rude, actually, that he wouldn't, like, swing in to say hello. We don't live conveniently close to you. No, not at all. He was out in bloody Waimoku, and I was like, hmm. Because when you're rural it's from what I've gathered

you just pop in. But I'm not a pop in-erer. Yeah right you're a city boy. But you could have messaged to be like hey I'll come round. It's the rural way. Especially after we had such a beautiful weekend together. Yeah but also if Hayley was feeling anything like I was feeling on Sunday she wouldn't have wanted me to pop in. Do you know what like it does give people so

much anxiousness because some people might look at their friend group on Find My and be like, why are they drinking together at a bar without me? You do that. You do that. Why is James and Dr. Shawnees? I wasn't told. And you're like, well, this is not the function. No, I'm normally fine with it because I'm like, I don't want to drink on a weeknight.

No, no, no. And they're always drinking on weeknights and they know that I won't turn up anyway. So what, are we deleting each other? I don't see any reason to, to be honest. I don't see any reason to. I used to be so anti... I don't have you guys on these. No, I've got you.

I've got you, but that's all. Yeah, because Vaughn's like, oh, I'm just leaving home. I'll be there in... No, you're not just leaving home. You've been at home. Wink. You're still at home. I've got my mum, my bestie.

I've got Dr. Shawnee, just in case I get an eczema breakout. I've been at home. Wink. You're still at home. I've got my mum, my bestie. I've got Dr. Shawnee, just in case I get an eczema breakout. I've got Fletch. And now I've got Jared. It's a very exclusive group. Yeah. Yeah. I used to be so anti it.

Remember that one? I never wanted anybody knowing. And now I'm like, it's so handy because friends are coming over and you're getting a ride. You can be down there to meet them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're always there to

greet when I arrive without me having to say that I'm here. That's good stuff. I think we could stay on, Jarrett. How do I add? I'm fine with it. I'm getting so... My glasses are half way down my nose and I'm looking at my phone at arm's length and I'm like, how do I add? Yeah, that's good that you recognise that.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I literally wouldn't surviveletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I literally wouldn't survive without Google, I reckon. I Google everything. And even when fiancé Aaron asks me a question, I'm always like, Google it. Yeah. He'll ask a question and try to figure it out before he reaches for a Google.

Do you remember travelling before having a smartphone? I think my mum organised it all. When I would travel before... Or you'd get like Lonely Planets before, like, having a smartphone? I think my mum organised it all. When I would travel before... Or you'd get, like, Lonely Planets and be like, oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. These are the five spots it tells you to go to. Do you remember hiring a phone that you could take overseas?

No. I did that the first time I went overseas. Like, we would hire a phone, I think, from Vodafone, and it came with an international SIM. Like, you couldn't do it on your own. Anyway, confusing. Anyway, I use Google literally all day, every day. If I have

a question, I ask Google, not even Siri, and she's asking Google. Where to eat, where to go, what to see. Yeah, what to see, what to do, how to breathe, how to fix a problem, when was this made, what was this? Apparently Gen Z, nah, they're done with it. And they are using, they're like, what's replaced it?

Their preferred search engine is TikTok. Which is- And then second Instagram. Which is worrying? Well- I mean, it's worrying when it- I thought it was terrible because I thought it was like they're searching for all of their information.

Well, there is a lot of bad news on TikTok. I mean, there's also a lot of, there is great news. People do a lot of short recommendations from like-minded folk, perhaps. And also Twitter was like this, right? Like Twitter was very like straight from the source, like up-to-date news and stuff. So I sort of get it.

But it's more that they're using it when they're looking for local results, when they're looking for something like, what time is this business open? Or where should I eat? And they'll go on TikTok. for local results. We're looking for something like, what time is this business open? Or where should I eat? And they'll go on TikTok. And then that way they get a more visual representation of a recommendation, basically.

They get to see things. That would be good for like food. Like if you want a good restaurant. Yeah. But is TikTok going to tell you what time they're open? I don't know. Isn't that just what Google does the best and then it has that little graph of when it's busier?

I thought we were dancing on TikTok. I genuinely thought, are we not dancing still and doing... We're still dancing. Isn't that what TikTok is? It's big. It's still big. ASMR. Brain tingles and dances.

I just thought that's what it was and now people are using it as a search engine and apparently Google has come out to say we're an intense fight to retain relevance

to young people. Wow, okay. Yeah, but that's fine because remember when Google came in and destroyed the yellow pages. So it's all evolution, baby. Do you know how upset

Jeeves was as well? Jeeves was living. Ask Jeeves, yeah. No one's asking Jeeves. Jeeves went straight to the dog pile. Jeeves and dog pile put their heads together living Ask Jeeves Yeah No one's asking Jeeves Jeeves went straight To the dog pile Jeeves and dog pile Put their heads together

And couldn't keep up with them Yeah Let alone Yahoo Yahoo That's right If you need an example Of fading into obscurity Yeah

I've still got friends With the Yahoo I'm sure of it An email Yeah Oh okay right My parents do And you literally

Pause to mentally shame them when you hear it. Oh. I just heard your tummy go. Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Oh, not for me. Vaughan?

Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating?