ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th May 2023

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Happy Friday. Yay.

I've been looking forward to this Friday. More so than other Fridays. Is it because this specific Friday? Is it because we've got a cocktail blowout? We've got a cocktail party blowout. And also I just don't have much to do this weekend. Oh, lovely. And you know that's not my vibe.

No, you're a busy bee. Now, I don't know. We've been invited to Maddie McLean, television's Maddie McLean's new place. Somewhat of a... Well, we sort of thumbed our way in there to be here. We kind of invited ourselves over, really, didn't we? Yeah.

You would have been invited, Vaughan, but you're... You've got plans. Far no time. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Don't ask me questions.

We'll send you photos. We'll send you photos because I know you're nosy. You like to go around people's places. Yeah, I do love to have a nosy around the house. For the first time. Well, I want to just do a bit of a... If you're tuning in, good morning,

but don't forget to stay all the way up to at least 8.17. Then we're going to talk a little bit more about this cocktail party because Fletch and I are debuting our new signature cocktail. We've never made it before. It'll be real trial and error. I think we should do a trial run at your house before we go in case it's an utter disaster.

Yes, that's true. So we don't embarrass ourselves in front of people. Yeah, great idea actually. But it is inspired. It is. It is something else. I've got to go to the mail room because some of the ingredients are in the mail room. Yeah, and some of mine arrived by courier yesterday.

Oh, magic. Okay, magic. We're going to debut. We're going to tell you about our signature cocktail just after 8 o'clock this morning. It's classy. I'll give you that. Yeah, guys, I have a real flashback today for Flashback Friday, including Feet, special guest.

The singer of the song after the song plays. Always nice to get a special guest. Well, then we know they're not dead, so that eliminates quite a few artists. Yes. You can flip down a few on your Guess Who board. Yeah, of who it's going to be. On your Friday Flashback Guess Who board.

Add to cart as well as back after the news at 8 o'clock. We'll give you the first item you've got to be collecting, listening for today. Cataloging. Cataloging. 8, 12, and 4. And if you're the first caller through at 5, you win everything in our cart.

Add to Cart, 8 o'clock. The top six is on the way. Yeah, the US is apparently going to be doing an older version of The Bachelor. Oh. For senior citizens. Aw. Now, we did meet a lovely lady, didn't we,

last Saturday when we were doing the Jason Marmore interview. Oh, yes, yes, yeah. Who was in town for Mother's Day. I wouldn't have said she was a senior citizen. No, she declared herself. Remember, she said, I know I'm not your usual demographic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was in town for Mother's Day. Oh, and she was a senior citizen. No, she declared herself. Remember, she said, I know I'm not your usual demographic. And I said, it's a psychographic around here, baby.

And then I smirched her straight on the mouth. Yeah, I know. It was quite strange. It was a lot. I think I took her by surprise. You do love kissing people's mums. Ah, smirch. That was someone's mum and someone's mum's mum,

which was a double whammy for me. That's double and deep. So I've got the top six things we can expect. And it won't be ageist. My point here was it won't be ageist. It will not be ageist. Because you love the old gals. I'm going to have to work hard here.

Yeah. So it's the old folks bachelor. Yeah. Okay. Things we can expect. Next on the show, though, Uber's trialling something. Just an incredible new feature that I think is going to blow people away. Tell you about it next.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's terrible time for a yawn. Silly little pole. Do you have a will? As in a last will and testament. Like what happens to your stuff when you die.

The dispersal of your stuff and things and people and debts Do you not? No You have it like a fiancé I know, in a house You have a mortgage and a house I know Things

Get a Will has been on my to-do list Since we bought our first house in 2017 You're pretty good at a to-do list I didn't buy it in 2017, 2020 You're pretty good at a to-do list I know, I know, I know, I know. But not this time. It's hard though, eh?

And then you just, you don't want to think about it. You can get cheap ones online. And I was like, oh, I'll just go and do one of those quick little whip it up. We've got a friend, don't we? Yeah, but I don't know how good that is. Because after I kissed him as payment, he said, he said, that's just a basic one. I was like, excuse me?

You need to do more, I think, for one to get proper. Excuse, to unlock the pro level. Have you got a will, though, now? You've got that one. Yeah, that one. We've got a will. When we had Indy, our oldest, we got a will, and then we never obtained it for years,

and so August technically didn't exist. It doesn't get anything. It doesn't exist. It doesn't get anything, and it doesn't get allocated to a human we know. Silly get anything. Doesn't exist and doesn't get anything and doesn't get allocated to a human we know. So Little Pole do you have a will?

33% of people said yes. 67% of people said not yet. Just when you said that I forget when you've got kids you've got to sort out where they go if you and Sade

were to perish. Oh yeah. Do you put that in there? If like both of us die they go somewhere. Is it Flea? It's Flea. Absolutely not. Oh yeah, do you put that in there? If both of us die, they go somewhere. Is it Flea? It's Flea. Absolutely not. Oh my god. Well I always know they'll be in bed early and there's mist in the fridge.

They'll be fed in bed. No, there's three levels of door security. They're not getting in the front door. If people live where you live, where do they go to school? In a city. In a city. Where's the inner city schools? There's one up like Freeman's Bay. That's girls' inner city inner city where's the inner city schools there's one up that like Freeman's Bay

or that's a yeah that's girls grandma no no that's Margaret that's Margaret isn't it yeah there's girls grandma

there is a school yeah there's a couple yeah but it is weird though eh like when you live in a city you're like typically you live closer to that school

than the girls live to the current school they go to but it's a country road between us and the school that's weird. I don't know. That's just my rural thinking.

They can't sort of just hop on their bikes and go through the CBD. All those schools are full so unfortunately they can't live with me so they have to go live with Aunty Hayley.

Home school. You'll be home in time. You get home about 10 o'clock. Yeah, that's a good call. Aunty Hayley. Probably just be waking up when you get home. Home school.

No way. Absolutely not. Thanks for that. I appreciate that. Surely your sister can take them. Oh, she's already got bloody 15 of them. Yeah, well there you go. She take them. Oh, she's already got bloody 15 of them. Oh, there you go.

She wouldn't even notice. She's already got a minibus. She's already got a minibus. She does have a, what does she have? Something like that. Yeah. A Mazda 9. Is that a thing?

Yeah, massive. That's a too high a number when you're getting a Mazda 5. Mazda 9s are huge. Big bloody thing. The Mazda 9s are huge. Big bloody thing. The Mazda bus. Mason says, I've left everything to the person who looks after my dogs. Kicker is they have to have them for three years before they even see a dime. Oh, okay.

That's pretty good. Yeah. Got the Mazda 9s. Lovely, isn't it? Oh, it is nice. She doesn't have the new, new one. Did she get the five-year free servicing? Oh, she should push that.

She's had it for longer than five years. Oh, okay. Oh, she's had it. Oh, she thrashes that thing. Jesus. Yeah, they could fit in the back. It's got to fold down seats. Okay, sorted.

What about the luggage? Nah. Get a roof rack. Like a lime scooter with you. No, they're not. I've got one can and that's enough. Georgia says, I work at a law firm. I guess you could call it they're not. I've got one can and that's enough. Georgia says, I work in a law firm. I guess you could call it a work perk. Oh, yeah.

There you go. Maybe Laura could do your one. I thought you were going to say, there you go. Get a law degree and then you'll get one for free. Who's Laura? This is Georgia. I don't know. You said Laura. No, I said Georgia. I'm pretty sure you said Laura. Law firm. Oh, law. That's what you're going to say.

Laura the lawyer. Oh, law. That's where you got it from. Law with Laura, though. That's pretty good. Laura the lawyer. Yeah, Laura the lawyer. Lawyer, lawyer. Lawyer, lawyer. Kelsey says, the same reason Vorden go to the dentist

is the better part of a century. Oh, yeah, life admin. Yeah, it's just, it is hard. But wills don't cost as much as you think. Nah. And you can do it through public trust. Who will I leave everything to? Me. Me. Maybe I'll run a radio. Who will I leave everything to? Me.

Me. Maybe I'll run a radio competition. Well, you're new children. Yeah. Indian audience. No, absolutely not. The beneficiaries of the... Absolutely not.

...Tar Flecher Trust. Yeah, public trust, you can get a will. What do you do when it's cocktail night? You've got to put them somewhere. Yeah, but Indy's nearly old enough. To enjoy cocktail night. Yeah. No, no, no, to join. No.

To look after the other one. Oh, yeah, yeah. The other one. We've got our signature cocktail. It's a very busy day. I don't have time for children running around. We are busy. Brandon says, shit, I'm only 31.

Oh, that's the thing about dying, Brandon. Any age. It waits for no man. It'll get you at any age. I'm going to live forever and annoy the absolute crap out of my family, especially the ones I dislike that's more of a a threat than a

a will yeah and I barely have the will to live oh my god that tickled me good from you Shay that's good from you Shay

I mean I hope you're joking I hope that was some lighthearted banter and you're actually you know you're doing alright in a really good mental headspace I certainly hope that you're looking forward to the weekend and spending some time with someter and you're actually, you know, in a really good mental headspace. I certainly hope that. You're looking forward to the weekend and spending some time with some loved ones.

But I totally get you. Like this morning when I woke up, I was like, not today. Not today, life. Not today. Next on the show. I've just heard they got the five years free service. Oh, did they? Do a new one though, apparently.

Well, there you go. Do a new one. This is good. Must be nice. Must be. Next on the show. There is a new relationship challenge

that people should be taking up. I've read the details of it and this would destroy me now. So what do you need to take part in this challenge?

You need you, your partner, couple of pens and some post-it notes. Oh, we're getting crafty next. It's crafty corner. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. So there is a sort of a challenge, a game that is being encouraged

that you could do with your partner. Okay. Regardless of your gender, regardless of how long you've been together. Well, ideally you'd live together. Okay. You've got to live together. So this is basically because, according to research, women

in general, so I guess this would be a sort of heterosexual setup. How boring. What is the future? Anyway, but women in average in heterosexual relationships are still doing three and a half hours more of household chores than men in general. Well, I'm doing all of my chores.

I'm 100%. That's a win for the men. Sure. You're enforcing that actually. More complicated on my end because the household currently isn't. Existing. Tatters. Yes.

It's a renovation. But anyway, what they say to do is because sometimes saying I do so much for us or, you know, I do this and you do that can be murky. Yeah. So the post-it challenge is what it's called. You write down everything that you do for the household. So one post-it per job or chore, say. So vacuuming would be one.

Vacuuming would be one. Wait, vacuuming shouldn't be comparable to, literally yesterday, the second I got home, I started, before the next lot of rain comes, I haven't mowed my lawns in weeks because of the weather that's been on outside. It was so long, it looks like I'm making a mix of bloody silage.

Do you have a violin? Now, I'm more of a pianist. Oh, okay. How is one post-it note for lawns? It shouldn't be by time. You should scribble out squares of how much time you spent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or maybe you could put how much time that takes.

But also, because this is where I would start to argue. Because I go, Aaron Aaron in the last six months would have provided us with dinner say twice. So I would go, all I do is cook for us. Say, that's the argument. And then he'd go like, yeah, I lugged a ton

of wood from the driveway to the garage today. So you, putting some eggs on toast. You know, it's not the same, is it? Interesting, eggs on toast for dinner. I'm all about that. I'd be down with that. I love breakfast for dinner.

I'm more of a dinner omelette. Love a dinner omelette. I love a dinner omelette. You put so much in it. You've utterly stuffed. So a lot of people doing this are saying by seeing it visually, the amount, especially if maybe you're a stay-at-home mum or something. If you are married to or with a lazy piece of shit, absolutely.

But it's going to end with an argument. It's so going to end. Because they're not going to like that because all of a sudden they are literally seeing their shortfall. And if they're also the sort of person that's not doing chores, they're the sort of person that's going to want to argue about it. Yeah. Yeah.

Or justify it, which in turn will anger you. Yes. And then there's, regardless, I can't see this ending peacefully. Yeah, it's not. Another way of doing it, as opposed to comparing, right? So you could write down everything that is required. We've got posters. Everything that is required to run a household. So whether

you do it or not, you go buying clothes for the kids, dealing with our finances and paying the bills. And then you put them all up and then you can go, well, I see that you do that and that you're a bit overloaded. I'll take that poster and I'll put it to my side. And now I'll take charge of the

kids' clothes or something like that. So it can be a good way to do it. I think we should write down. I mean, you've got to be brave to do this. We should write down, each of us, on a post-it note, what we do for the show. Now I'm going to do I bring the sex.

I don't know if that's a post-it note. I don't know if that's a post-it note. I don't know if that's a post-it note. No. Okay. Do you already want to argue or are you just going to let me have my own thing? I bring the sex.

Do I bring the sex? Should I put that down as well? I might put it down and bring a sex too. You put it down on your own post-it is what you want to do. Because mine's not a specific sex. I'm more of a, you know. You bring the...

Non-specific sex. The weird sex. Should we... Weird sex. Okay, bring weird sex. Okay, fill your three post-it notes. Just put down weird sex appeal. Weird, weird sex stuff.

Put down your three post-it notes and then we each have to take one from another and then exchange a job. Take responsibility. Well, no, I'm not... You can't do my job, so I do my job. Well, you don't know that for sure. Okay, I've put down as my what I bring to the show.

I bring the sex. Okay. I sing and I bring a female perspective. I'll take the female perspective. Do you want the female perspective? Fletch will sing. I'm not kidding. You'll sing.

So I'm still bringing the sex. You bring sex. Okay, Fletch, what. I'm not kidding. You'll sing. So I'm still bringing the sex. You bring sex. Okay, Fletch, what do you think you bring? I'm singing. Was that lovely? Stunning. Was that good?

Okay, I press play lots. Yeah. That's my first post-it note. I'll take that one. No. Hang on, you've got to hear them out first. Wait, do I get to keep one?

Because Vaughn can't You didn't give me the choice. I press the buttons. Yeah. All the buttons and faders. So that's the same as press play because that's... No, because the button's on the desk. Okay.

And then the play button's on the screen. And my third one is I look at the computer screens. I'll have a look at the computer screens. You can swivel those around. Which one are you taking, Vaughan? Play. I want to push play. Okay.

So you can still do buttons. I don't know. But you're not allowed to look at the screen. Okay. All right. Okay, Vaughan, what do you bring to push play. Okay. So you can still do buttons. I don't know about it. But you're not allowed to look at the screen. Okay. All right. Okay, Vaughn, what do you bring to the show? Um, hold on.

I just, just got to finish. He's really struggled to find three things that he brings to the show. I do weird sex stuff. Okay. I think Hayley can take that. I'm bringing the sex. Weird sex stuff. Also, I can offer you a chance card.

I'll take the chance card. I'm going to sex. Weird sex stuff. Also, I can offer you a chance card. Oh, he knows what's on the other side of the card. And my final card, the jack of hearts. I want the chance card. Okay. I guess I'll have the jack of hearts. Because that could come in handy if I need a full house. So now that we've divvied the roles perhaps a little more equally, I look at the computer screens.

I bring the sex. And I've got a chance card. Was there anything on the back of the chance card? Or is... You've won $10. I've got to get out of jail. Get out of jail. Get out of jail.

I wish I could get my card. Okay, what do you now bring to the show, Fletch? I've now got a Jack of Hearts card. Yeah. I press the button still, which is great. But you can't see the screen. You're not allowed to look at the screens. I'm not allowed to look at the screens.

And the one thing you're not allowed to push is play. Oh, that's great. I still do weird sex stuff. Okay. Okay, that's good. Now, wait. When did you ever bring that to the show? But I'm doing it from the female perspective.

And me and my vulva. Can't wait to get involved. Yes. Involved. Your jiblet. My two jiblets. And me and my vulva. Can't wait to get involved. Yes, vulva. Your jiblet. My two jiblets. And my sensitive nipples. You take over from Hayley now on the sex.life podcast?

No, because I'm still bringing the sex. She's bringing the sex. He's doing the weird female stuff. This is just the show. Okay. And I press play lots. Don't you dare. I'll come and do it.

This is great. I feel like it's more equal. Wait, you can't press play all the time just this dare. I'll come and do it. This is great. I feel like it's more equal. Wait, you can't press play all the time just this once. Are you guys looking at my screen? I'm sorry. Are you looking at my screen? You've got to tell me to go up or down. Okay, you've got to tell me to go up or down.

Down? No, too much. Subtle. Go more subtle. Up or down? Do not press that one. No. Up, up, up, up.

Right, right, right. No, no, no. These are my screens. Get your, up, up, up. Right, right, right. No, no, no. These are my screens. Get your eyes off my screens, please. Right, right, right, right, right. Go. Yeah! This week.

Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Oh, my God. This, it's, ugh. It's giving me, like, a chill up my spine. They're, thanks to science and the new cameras they can use they have got 3D imaging of the Titanic wreckage

and it is like actually incredible the accuracy I saw it on the news last night bananas and then they did a size thing and they were like this is what it would look like if it was sat in a stadium and it was like do you know the good news is though from those scans When they did a size thing, they were like, this is what it'd look like if it was sat in a stadium. And it was like, take a look at the stadium.

Do you know the good news is, though, from those scans, those in-depth scans, there was some good news out of it. The pool's still got water in it. Oh, that's good. And that joke comes to us from Forrest. Who just messaged saying, quick Titanic joke, the pool's still full. Yeah, well, thank you for that. A couple of deck chairs, too, which is nice. Yeah, nice. thank you for that. A couple of deck chairs too, which is nice. Yeah, nice.

Because, you know, those always go quicker to holiday resort or a cruise. Or they blow away in the storms. Or people that put their towels on the bloody deck chairs. The thing that blows my mind is how long the Titanic wreck was lost for. Yeah. People didn't know where it was. Because was it the 70s? When was the Titanic founded?

But the movie was, were they the first ones to have proper cameras when they went down? About the same time James Cameron was doing the movie? Yeah. September 1985, the first underwater images confirmed of the Titanic were recorded. Wow. But these scans are like, it's like seeing a model, isn't it?

Yeah. As you say, they're really good. It's terrifying. They had to be very careful as well because it's four kilometres underwater. What? 4,000 metres underwater. And they have to be really, really, really careful.

So they want to get these detailed photos, but obviously they don't want to damage it. Like it's a... Yeah. You've got to try to preserve it, I guess, as best as possible. They'll never pull it out. You know, it'll just fall apart.

So they use these amazing cameras to do this. And it's just incredible. One of the things that they think is most interesting about this is that 70,000 images is what they take. 70,000 photos. 700,000. Oh, really?

To make one image. 700,000. Oh, wow. To make one image. 700,000. Oh, wow. To make a 3D model. Wow. Images from every angle which gave it its 3D. One thing they think

has blown them away is that they've got a greater understanding of how it actually sunk. Yeah. Because when was it? The 19...

Had an iceberg. So on the movie it hit them on the side. They're saying it went straight up it. Like on a sheet. Oh, wow the side. They're saying it went straight up it. Like on a sheet. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And that's why it broke in half. Oh, okay. Because it took it off and it was putting too much pressure on it. The whole ship's right. Yeah, I was just like, you're kidding me. When none of the survivors are able to say that it wasn't a big sticky yacht. It was in the middle of the night. They didn't see it.

Oh, right. Of course. Yeah. It's just like so spooky to look at. It's such an in-depth scan. You can see the serial number on the propeller. Yeah. Wow.

And you can see all like the barnacles and everything and like the details and the angles. There's still like windows in the front bit. You're like, huh? Well, worth a Google. Yeah, really Google it. But if you don't like the deep ocean, it's making me feel a little queasy.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Haley. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Well, hello there. Howdy. Howdy to Bali-ow. There is going to be a golden bachelor.

Now, the US is doing this. So like the bachelor TV show. It's the bachelor, but it's the golden bachelor. So there's been the bachelor, the bachelorette, the bachelor in paradise, and the golden bachelor will be for The Bachelor in his golden years. Oh, gorgeous. This is going to be pretty wholesome, isn't it? What's the age range?

It doesn't say specific age range. Surely like 60 plus? It'll have to be 65 plus. Yeah. Otherwise it's not gold. What, 65's the new? There's some hot people in their 60s, you know. Yeah. I it's not gold. Like what's 65 is the new? There's some hot people in their 60s you know. Yeah. I'd still go there. Channel 10

isn't doing the Golden Bachelor so this is in Australia. It is interesting to note they've increased the age limit on the 2024 series of The Bachelor from 40 to 50. So you can be up to 50 to be in The Bachelor now. Oh in The Bachelor. Yeah that's the Australian Bachelor. Yeah, that's the Australian Bachelor.

Right. Whereas The Golden Bachelor is older. The top six things to expect from The Golden Bachelor is today's top six. And number six is Viagra. Let's face it. Yep. If they're not sponsoring it, missed opportunity. It really is.

Or it would be great for a Viagra competitor. Yeah. To get the naming rights. Because Viagra competitor to get the naming rights because Viagra is the brand name, right? Yes. Well, that was the original one, wasn't it? The original one. But that's not what the – it's like how Panadol is a brand name for paracetamol.

Yes. But everyone just says, I need a Panadol. Yeah. I just go those cheap Panadols. Yeah, they're the same They're the same But I like Sometimes I like a sugar coated one Because it's like having an M&M

It's having an M&M That's going to cure my headache No they never do Paracetamol that's sugar coated It's always the Neurofen That's sugar coated Yeah Why is a

Why is a panty Never sugar coated It's always drier Yeah answer me that Big big bummer Sorry we got aggressive. Number five. We like a sugary coating, don't we? Yeah. Number five

on the list of the top six things to expect from the Golden Bachelor. You know when the bachelorettes are arriving and they bring something? Yep. A lot of baking. A lot of baking. Do you know what? A lot of shortbread. Oh, yum, yum.

Hello, Harold. I've brought you some muffins. I've brought you a little blueberry muffin. I'm known for my blueberry muffins. Yeah, but then it turns out that he's already got some. So she's like, next one, she's like, can I have him for a moment? I don't know why we're all British old ladies. It's just that all old women are slightly British.

Especially if they're baking. Yeah. And they take them aside and they're like, give it to me straight. Whose muffins were better? Yeah. Who had the moister muffin? Number four on the list.

No one at that age. Not at that age. Top six things to expect from senior citizens, The Bachelor. Some old school chivalry. This guy is going to be a gentle man. Yes. He's going to do things like, even when they're walking down the street,

he's going to know what side to stand on. In case there's a splash from a carriage going by, see? Yes. In case there's a puddle on the side of the road, we can't have a dame like you getting wet, you see? Blazer on the shoulder. Number three on the list of the top six things to expect from The Golden Bachelor.

Some really upset adult kids who thinks mum's moving on a little too quick after dad's death. Yeah, so he'll be on the well in like two weeks. Yeah, that episode where they go home and they meet the family. And there's grandkids there. And they're like, I don't know if this guy can beat a granddad. Or granddad's past, sweetheart. You're not my real granddad. You're not my real granddad.

Number two on the list of the top six things to expect from the golden bachelor. You know the roses that he gives everybody at the ceremony? Homegrown. He grew them himself. I was going to say they'll be Cadbury roses because man, old people love a Cadbury rose. But yeah, they will be though, but hucky.

Hucky homegrown. Not straight. A little bit bent. Smell lovely though. And number one on the list of the Top six things to expect From the golden bachelor You know the Bachelor Bachelorette mansion

Where they all live Yep It is going to be so tidy And smell constantly Like delicious baking And the minute Your clothes are dirty Yep

They're somehow Clean and folded again Oh Yeah House full of nannies House full of nannies Put me in That house full of nann. They're probably going to have to have a... House full of nannies. Put me in that house full of nannies. They're probably going to need a single floor mansion.

Oh, yeah. Unless there's a lift. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A chair lift to the bedroom. And no big thick rugs with upturned corners. Yes. Absolutely not. That is today's top six.

I've just gone to make a coffee and the milk fridge is locked. They've locked the milk fridge. People are using milk. We're being immediately targeted and attacked by this company. Luckily, I haven't filled out my staffer bits. Our cold tap's not working. Now you can't get any milk. Lucky I haven't filled out my scarf. They took our microwave. Our cold tap's not working. Now you can't get any milk. Lucky I haven't filled out my opinion survey yet.

What if you tip some of your cereal overdose milk? Yeah, dude. Oh, no, he's put most of my rubbish in there. I'll have to walk a kilometre to the other kitchen. Just for reference, the other kitchen's about 20 metres away. 40 metres. 50 metres. I would hazard a guess that's 104 metres.

Are you insane? The building's not 100 metres across. 50 metres. 40. Okay, let's step it out. The only way to fix this is get one of those things that use an intermediate. Click the wheel. The wheel.

Are we talking straight line? No, it's not a straight line. You've got to walk around the corner. No, you'd have to go. Around the desk. Not as the crow flies, you're talking the path travel. Okay, 30, 40 metres Mac, 40 metres. To the kitchen. You reckon 40 metres?

You said 110. You've really come down. I said initially said a kilometre. A little bit of hyperbole. Now, coming up on the show, the budget was yesterday, which is normally very boring. What about me? What about my game?

What about my game? What about my game? I'm going to start a video game company. Yeah, because you get a... They're getting a 20% tax rebate or something. Oh, my God. Video games. I can make a video game. I don God. Video games. How do I get...

I can make a video game. I don't think you could. I'll call it... You just need to do a simulator. Boobs simulator. Boobs simulator. Boom. Done.

And you get to have boobs, and then you just walk around life with boobs. It's a VR game, and you look down, and all of a sudden, you've got boobs. Wow. Imagine the government, the absolute outcry that the government taxpayer was funding the boob simulator. Wait, this is no joke. I'm bringing millions of dollars

into the economy with boob simulator and you wait for the add-on in-game purchase of penis simulator. Oh, okay. Right. Ladies, if you always wanted to look down and see a penis,

then boy, you're going to love Penis Simulator 2023. You should do like, and all you do in Boob Simulator is like go for a run. You've got to do like, you've got to last a whole day. Bra on, bra off. Yeah. Oh my God, that's like the reward at the end. You could go bra shopping in Boob Simulator. At the end, you get to take your bra off and feel like.

That's the final level, yeah. That's the final level. The boss fight is the treadmill. Yes, yeah, yeah, great. You've got to walk through a construction site without anyone looking at you. Yes, yeah. Brasphemy would be good. Yeah.

This is a great game. This is a great game. Boob simulator. And you upgrade your nipples. Oh, my God, yeah. And then you hit him. Well, that was a rebate for a video game maker. Oh, my God, yeah. And then... Well... That was a rebate for video game makers.

It was one of the things announced yesterday in the budget. We're going to chat to Bad News Brad Olsen, economist. Yeah, we're going to talk to him next, actually. We're going to get the top five takeaways from the budget. So maybe this affects you. Maybe you're going to get a little bit of extra monies. Clay, Zed M's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. maybe this affects you. Maybe you're going to get a little bit of extra monays. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

For those keeping count, I did 38 metres to the kitchen with a big stride was a metre. Yeah, we sort of said 40-ish. 35, 38 I'd say.

Yeah. Oh, that's good. So not quite a kilometre. But yeah, the... Roger. Yeah. Okay. Well, it wasn't 100.

Didn't know to tell you. Coming up on the show 8. Okay. Well, it wasn't 100. Didn't I tell you? Coming up on the show, 8 o'clock after the news, we'll give you today's first Add to Cart item. And then, my pick for Friday flashback today, now, I've chosen an artist

that has performed recently in New Zealand and is performing again tomorrow at a couple of places, Auckland and Hamilton. It's a real blast from the past. Not only that, a little surprise. I've got him on Zoom after I play his Friday flashback. That's exciting.

So I think this could be a real, like a real blast from the past for people. I'm very excited about this. We love that. Yesterday, the budget. What are you doing? Are you here? Yeah, I'm having a drink. Jesus Christ.

You're talking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I thought, oh, hi, Chris. He's having his proxy call. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just look at you and you've got a giant mouth and you're just holding it. No, I was. A mouth full of vodka. Yeah, I was drinking it.

Just drink it. I was drinking it. Jesus, I work with some unprofessional. Not me, though. Not you. I'm just buying shoes on Trade Max. I know he's spending money because he's here to tell us we shouldn't be, I suppose. Oh, is Brad here?

Bad news, Brad. With the bad news budget special. Hello. Good morning, team. It's so nice to talk to you. It's lovely to talk to you, Brad. Oh, we wish you were in studio and we could go out afterwards and have brunch. Because sometimes Brad, he comes and spends money with us.

Exposed! It's called an investment. Yeah, it is. Investment in pressure. Now, you are the Chief Executive and Principal Economist at Infometrics. And you, I'm assuming, were you one of the people locked up in the beehive yesterday with the budget?

I was, I was. I feel like that's the ultimate in economics nerdery is when you get locked inside with documents for a few hours before they come out so you can get into all of the fascinating details that no one else sort of worries too much about, but it means that we've sort of got a good idea of what's happening when the budget came out at 2pm. So you get to read it before and then Grant Robertson, or the Minister of Finance, does a presentation. So you've got questions at before and then Grant Robertson or the Minister of Finance does a presentation

so you've got questions at the end or there's no questions from you guys? You're just reading it. Yeah, no, no. So we got locked up at 10.30 yesterday in the banquet hall of the Beehive with a little bit of catering at some point. What do they have? Well, I was too busy

actually doing the work but I'm pretty sure there were sausage rolls one year. There were some fantastic lamingtons. I'm not going to lie. Never too busy for a sausage roll. Okay, taxpayer lamingtons. They would have been too. That would have been nice. But they tasted like the sweat of hard labour.

Yeah. Now, give us the big takeaways. What are the big announcements? The things that people are going to get from this? Yeah, so a few of them. First one is that they're extending the 20 hours free early childhood education. That's currently for three to five-year-olds. That's being extended to two-year-olds from next year.

That's going to save some people $133 a week. Oh, I like that. It is, but again, that's next year. So a little bit of a wait there if you've got young ones. The other two big ones were the government is scrapping the $5 copayment on prescriptions. So at the moment, you go into the pharmacy and you've got to pay $5 if your doctor gives you a prescription. That's going from July.

And the government has also announced that they are doing free public transport for under, I think it's under 12, under 13-year-olds, and half-price public transport for people under 25 think it's under 12, under 13 year olds, and half price public transport for people under 25. That's from July. Remembering as well, though, what they haven't told you is that from July, your fuels tax is also going back up 29 cents a litre, just about.

And that free public transport that all of us are enjoying at the moment also goes. So a more targeted level of spending from government. Those are the three big ones that I think people will notice the most. You nearly lost me because I don't have kids, right? So I don't care about that. My contraceptive pill isn't government subsidised because it's a special one, so I don't care about the $5.

Yeah. What was the other one you said? The public transport. I've got a car, so... But the tax, the fuel tax, now I'm back. No, but that's going back up. What? But fuel's cheap.

No, I don't say cheap. Cheaper at the moment is under $2 a litre for 91, which hasn't happened for a while. What people station are you going to? I know, I was like, I've not seen this. No, dude, this surely isn't just west Auckland, but there must be some sort of price war going on if there is. And if you can't get 91 under $2 a litre, head out west.

So all the petrol stations out there. So drive from Hamilton to out west. Yeah, perfect. And then go from Dunedin, get on the inter-islander. Bring some milk bottles and fill up on gas while you're here. Yeah, okay. But it was $1.85 at Costco yesterday. Yeah, but they're doing a special.

They're doing some kind of... But they go cheap, but then everybody else goes cheap. Right, okay. It's definitely under $2. Okay. I'm wondering, Brad, question re-copayment for pharmacies. Because you can go to the chemist's warehouse and don't do that. Oh, no, we have a prescription for free.

Without Big Dog and you always end up spending thousands of dollars when you're there on vitamins that you didn't really need. Why did the National Party so quickly come out and say, if we're elected,

we're going to be putting that $5 back on? Look, I was surprised by that one as well, to be fair. I mean, only just from the point of view that it came so quickly.

Yeah. I think what they're getting at and I share some of the broad concerns is that, look, if you look through the budget, when I first looked at it when we, and I share some of the broad concerns, is that if you look through the budget, when I first looked at it when we were in the lookup yesterday, I thought, hey, this looks alright. There are some small, targeted, focused policies

that are unlikely to soak inflation, but you add them all together, and you've got $9.4 billion more spending over the next four years than government had originally thought back in December. They are taking in $10.7 billion less in taxes and revenue over that same period. That's a $20 billion gap that's opened up. So what I think the National Party is concerned about,

certainly what I'm concerned about as well, is the fact that the government is spending more. It could well be pushing inflation higher. The Reserve Bank, when they meet next week, they might have to raise interest rates more because they're worried about how stimulatory government spending is. I don't know if I'd necessarily roll back that prescription co-payment. I mean, you know, $5 is a barrier.

I think the government quoted numbers yesterday. 137,000 people last year didn't pick up a prescription because of the cost. You know, because for some families, that's a lot of money over time when you've got a lot of pills to pick up or you get sick or your family gets sick. So that wouldn't be the thing I'd immediately cut back on. But I think we've got to be realistic. Government is spending more, it's taking in less, it's having to borrow $20 billion more.

All of that becomes pretty challenging to make the books balance. I don't want interest rates to go up anymore, Brad. Brad, how big is the budget? Is it like a big book, like an old phone book? It's a few in fact. We get a few documents. The ones that everyone often looks at is a document called the Wellbeing

Budget. It goes through sort of what they call a summary of initiatives, all the various policies that the government is doing stuff on. There's the Budget Economic and Fiscal Update. That's the document from the Treasury setting out how they think the economy's going to go over the next five years. And then if you're really deep into it, you can

go and ask the Treasury for what they call the appropriations, the Summary of Appropriations, which is big thick books that look at every what they call vote. So think of it sort of by department spending area. We're talking thousands of pages. And look, I mean no one looks at those

because they're in such hyper detail and it's still difficult to read through them. Gosh. Thank God we've got Brad, you know. Lovely Brad to help us understand some of these things. Amazing, Brad. Thank you. I know you've got a very busy morning post-budget.

Yes. Thank you for breaking down the points there. We'll have a latke's for you today. Thank you. Make sure you enjoy it because by the sounds of it, all of our costs are going up again soon. Yeah, and technically, Brad, this show now develops video games. So if anyone asks.

That's what we're discussing at brunch. That's what we're simulating. We're launching a video game company. We want to get the rebate. NZ Me will pay the video game company who will want to get the rebate. NZ Me will pay the video game company who will in turn pay us. Yeah. So the podcast is turning into a slightly new development.

That's right. You got it. The show as well. Yeah. All of it. Yeah. All of it. Bad news, Brad.

Thank you so much. Next on the show. I'm revealing the scam that is skincare. I listen to one podcast now. I know everything. As is the way in 2023. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

Look, you know I'm promoing a couple of podcasts at the moment. Sex.life. You've got to check it out. We're just talking about we're just talking about how much it's really opened up the energy in this whole office with the things we talk about. Yeah, people are a lot more open.

I like it. It's great. I'm loving it. It's good. But I listen to a podcast, it's one of my regulars that like episodically I'm just like,

yes, here's a new episode. It's called Science Versus by Gimlet Media. Gimlet do some good podcasts. Yeah, they do do good ones. I mean, they're no NZME podcast. They're no ZM Podcast Network, Vaughan. No ZM Podcast Network.

They're a far cry from it. However, this one is amazing. So it's Science Versus. It basically, like, uses, there's scientists that run it, and she's awesome. She's an Australian called Wendy Zuckerman. Yeah. And they take on, like, fads, trends, opinions,

what's in the zeitgeist. They did a huge amount for COVID and the vaccines and last week was like how can you actually cure a hangover? Remember I was saying that you can't essentially. And instead of just like having an opinion about it, they put science to it.

Right. Have they done collagen? Yes. Yep. They've done collagen. What did they say about that? BS. Basically. So kind of on that note this morning. No, just put it in your smoothie. I'm just looking at Georgia who puts like cups of it in her smoothie. But also the placebo. Your body can't. You look hot.

No, but your body can't absorb it. Porn. Porn. Hair grows regardless. Your hair's growing anyway. Hair just grows. Now if you really want your hair to grow, you've got to take your own blood out of your arm and inject it into your head. Now, that's hardcore.

What would Science Versus say about that? That's what I did. Anyway, they haven't done PRP. But today's one was skincare. Is anti-aging a scam, right? Yeah. And you go, of course brands are trying to upsell you on the life-changing benefits they can have.

But they just go, they're trying to upsell you on the life-changing benefits they can have. But they just go, they're trying to be totally neutral. Well, and use science instead of like wishful thinking. And listening to it this morning, I was like, holy moly, having literally just dropped $300. And that's absurd on, because all of my skincare ran out at the same time.

So I had to buy a moisturizer, a new serum, a new- And Aaron's been using your face wash. Face wash So I had to buy a moisturizer, a new serum, a new... And Aaron's been using your face wash. Face wash. I had to buy a new touch of face wash. As soon as it arrived, he was like, oh, thank God we've run out. I was like, we have not run out.

This is, you are not using this, you rugged, leathery man. Anyway, the takeaway from it was like, because your main ones, you've got collagen or your retinols, that's your sort of key anti-aging, right? Vitamin A's. And then you've got your vitamin C's, which is another huge skincare product, right? Big hot one.

You could do it in the morning. You can't have it exposed to the sunlight. Sunblock, obviously, and then hyaluronic acid. Went into all of these. And the problem with them is the reason why it's all basically a scam is because they're not fat soluble right and so your whole the top layer of your skin is made up they said it's like bricks and mortar so you've got like bricks which are like the hard bits and they can maybe get through the mortar which is

like the glue but that's made of fat and if most products which are like the hard bits, and they can maybe get through the mortar, which is like the glue, but that's made of fat. And if most products, which are water-soluble, can't go through it because you can't go through fat. They have to be fat-soluble. And then so basically the takeaway from it was like, so what is it? It's like, well, it sits on your skin, and when things say that it's brightening,

it's because you've got shiny shit on your skin. Yeah. And then when you wash your face, you wash it away. You cannot permeate. There are like very, very few ways of actually permeating this layer. Now, how confronting was that for you? Financially rather confronting. Yeah, having spent a lot of money.

I mean, obviously it's like if you've got dry skin and you moisturise it, that's helpful. Because you're not washing it off, right? Yeah, that's helpful. Because you're not washing it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're just adding moisture to it and then you wash your face and it gets dry again and you moisturise it. All these other things are basically just a waste of money. Because they're not actually absorbed.

No. They can go to a certain level. So people think they're working because they're paying so much money for them. They're like, I can see the results, but they're not really seeing the results. They just, they want to see the results because they've spent the money. Yeah, totally. And then the surface, the stuff you put on the surface can sometimes make things look better, but you're not fundamentally.

Changing anything. You're not getting rid of any lines or wrinkles. Yeah, and even the stuff that was really scientific and was fat soluble and could get through, what it reduced was like the finest of lines. So if you're not moving your face, the tiniest little lines, so no creases or frown marks, they're done. That's forever now. Botox.

Botox. Because that permeates because it gets in behind. Or like filler. Right. So you can fill up the gap. So what are you going to go home and throw all the creams and facial moisturisers out? No, I'm just going to do it because it just makes you feel better.

Isn't that wild? And I know, I'm sure like some dermatologists are texting him and being like, no, that's not completely true. But it was such an interesting listen to go, I would have dropped over the course of my adult life thousands. Oh, so much you would have. Yeah. Yeah.

Literally the only thing that they were like, this is the way to make your skin look younger is sunblock. Because that's the biggest thing that makes you age. And then they said, look at your ass. Go in the mirror and look at your ass, right? Because most people don't have their butt out in the skin. In the sun, sorry. So that would be like, if we weren't in the sun,

that would be what your face skin would look like Your arse skin The palest version Yeah No like wrinkles and folds Yeah, yeah Wow So just look at your butt And dream if that was your face

Fascinating But I'm just gonna do that thing guys do And just kind of get better with age with a little effort. Yeah. I think you're going to say, grow a beard to hide half your face. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the grey starts coming in and you're like,

And that just makes it look hotter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. You're so... Honestly. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. It's the final rankings.

Someone else had my mouse. Maybe some computer issues. Okay. Party mix. This is today's final rankings. We do this every Friday. We're going to rank today the lollies in a party mix bag. Now this is, oh, producer Shannon.

Oh my God. How, you've got to the Darien back. She's a speedy. She's out of breath. Yeah, I'm out of breath, but've got to the dairy and back. She's speedy. She had a breath. Yeah, I had a breath, but I got her some lollies. How much was that at the dairy? That would have been a lot. Six bucks.

Yeah, about that. So I'll put anything for the show. Did you get the receipt? No. I'll go back and get the receipt because you better claim that back. All good. Enjoy, guys. So in this party pack, because this is your classic Pascal party pack.

That's a party pack. I looked it up. The Natural Confectionery Place owned the rights to the party mix. Oh, do they? Now, a party pack is the iconic. Yeah, but I don't know if it's called a party mix. They've all gone downhill. All of them have gone downhill, right?

Do we agree with that? Yeah, I can feel the texture's rubbish. Wait, look at those explorers. They've lost weight. So we've got the... Well, it's because it's been a long, hard winter and they're not allowed to club seals anymore. We've got the sort of marshmallow-y banana.

Which is also shrink-flated. They all do. These are tiny, my big fat fingers. We've got the explorer. We've got the sort of gummy worm. That's a very erect worm, isn't it? Very erect. Very straight.

This might have been on the shelf for a bit. Put a bend in it. Yeah, can you just bend that worm, please? it? Very erect. Very straight, stiff worm. Put a bend in it. Yeah, can you just bend that worm, please? It makes me very uncomfortable. Thank you. We've got a wine gum. Yep.

A jet plane. Love a jet plane. Some leaves. Those can jump straight in the bin. So wait, the leaves, they change from mint to a variety. A variety of flavours. Just put a green, I'd say for this, put a green leaf, a spearmint leaf. Why not just put it in the bin? No one likes those.

So that's what we're dealing with. A jet plane, a worm, an explorer, a marshmallow banana, a wine gum, and a spearmint leaf. Jet planes, number one, because you get to fly it into your mouth. I guess. Every time. And always purple or red. All the snakes are erect. These are very dry.

You see, I love a salworm, but not a... You see, that's where we, the natural confectionery company, free plug, free shout out. They do a far superior gummy.

Way better. Yeah, they do. All of their gummy, all of their gummy range. The dinosaurs. Dude, daddy, daddy,

daddy loves the dinosaur. Daddy, don't chop the dinosaur. Don't chop the dinosaur, daddy. Where's the milk bottles? He's eating them. There are no milk bottles in there. dinosaur. Daddy, don't chop the dinosaur. Don't chop the dinosaur, Daddy. Where's the milk bottles? He's eating them. There are no milk bottles in there.

No. No, they're in the natural confectionery bag. Okay. These are so dry. Yeah. It's downhill. Shannon, can you go back and get us a fresher pack? Could you?

Yeah, go run. No, don't, don't. They're all trash. Their jet plane is number one for me. Jet plane number one. Snake number two. I would have gone Explorer if they were the original size. These are...

Like, that would be, what? Two and a half centimetres? Like an inch tall? They used to be like that? Yeah, they were massive. You are so bad at measurement. That's two and a half centimetres. No, it's not.

I've got to take measurements. Three. No, it's like an inch and a half. No, it's not. I've got to tape measure. Three. No, it's not. It's like an inch and a half. No, I'd say it's about three. Three centimetres. Go. Measure it.

We haven't done the measure game for a while. Wait, how big do you think that is? I think it's an inch and a half. No, we're doing centimetres. What are you? You're not in America. You think this is four centimetres? It'd be close to four centimetres.

Measure it. Oh, it could be four centimetres. I think it's three. Yeah, just when he said that, I was like... I said three and a half. You originally said two and a half. Bang on four. Stick it up your bum.

There is fewer things I enjoy more in life than being right. I hear sex is pretty great. I haven't tried it this year. I don't know. Things have changed But still good this year Dude being right Good this year

A timeless good feeling Yeah it is isn't it A timeless good feeling Well the yellow jet plane's yum though I will say that No see I'm not a fan of the yellow So maybe wine Maybe a jet plane

Jet plane Wine gum Wine gum Yeah just because No he's a base of it Jet plane gives you the wine gum In a better thing And then the snake

Gives you something a different experience entirely because you can put it in your mouth and go like this and rip it and then you've probably got to go either Explorer or banana just because otherwise you've gone three gummies

I love synthetic banana I've always hated these I'm not a marshmallow-y kind of girl yuck, no. It's jet plane, snake, jet plane. Jet plane, snake, jet plane. You can't book in a snake with a jet plane. But see, if it was natural confectionaries, I'd do

the sour worm. No, dude. No, that's in the sour mix. Yeah, because they've got different mixes too. They do a gummy mix or a sour mix. And they've got milk bottles. We're going on a bit of a roadie today. I'm probably going to have to get a little bag of lols. Well, you can take this one.

We can have these dry ones. Hayley's fingered them all, though. Those are Shannon's lolis. She paid for them. No, the company paid for them. She's going to claim a receipt. She didn't get the receipt. You never get around to it.

You reimburse her with a little something extra. Why am I reimbursing her? Just because I don't have kids. I like that you think it's just because I... Hayley's got a renovation underway. Sorry. I'm about to be bled dry by an expiring interest in a mortgage rate. You do it.

It's on you. I know it's on me. Next on the show, a mum is under fire. Yeah. She's... Well, to be honest, I would totally plan on doing this to my children as well Maybe not now

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley A woman Yuck You've lost me Sorry, you've probably all had enough of hearing about women But A woman A mother

A mother of two and another on the way Is wearing it online For something Mostly because she Blah, blah, blah. A mother. A mother. A mother of two and another on the way. Yeah. Is wearing it online. For something. Mostly because she is like a, she looks very wealthy. Very wealthy. Okay. And you know, it's always fun to get a boot into the wealthy online.

Love it. Love it. And she's got cute kids. People get angry at people with cute kids. She dresses them the same, so now I'm angry at her again for dressing her kids the same. But anyway, she said that she's got these little bangles,

these little bracelets, and on the top you can fit in an Apple AirTag. And she puts them in and her kids wear these little bracelets so she can look on her phone and see where they are. Now, surely they're in the house. Small children. That's when I first read the headline.

I was like, well, that's kind of like if they're teenagers and you're like, where are you? No teenager. You can't do that to a teenager. They've got a bit more autonomy of their own lives. But it's nice to know where they are. Wait, so you've considered this? Absolutely.

Right. You are just where you tell your parents you are. But they also have, Indy's got a phone, August will have one when she's a teenager and you can log on and see where their phones are at.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just using find my friends or whatever it is. I trust them. I don't trust another living soul on the street. That's what my mum used to say. It's not you I'm worried about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like driving. You can be as careful as you want. Yeah. Some assholes and some idiots out there. Yeah. People love a blind overtaking.

We saw that, didn't we? Driving from Queenstown to Wanaka. I have seen some atrocious driving lately. Yeah. God, the overtaking. Calm down. No. Where are you going?

I wish you could shoot a little electromagnetic pulse at cars that are overtaking so they run out of speed and break down on the side of the road, and you're like, well, now you're late. Yeah. Yeah. Same. Anyway, she's got this bracelet, and it's got the Apple ear tags in it.

She can see where they are, but she also uses it. They've got a sprawling house. Oh. And if she wants them in the kitchen, she'll be like, locate device, and you know how it goes. Yeah.

Well, she doesn't just yell out to them. No, the house is too big. My four-day-old kids dinner's ready. And then we'd yell and our parents would be like, stop yelling. Why is everyone always yelling? Wow. She's wearing it.

People are like, but I don't know what it is. What? But then it's no different than being able to find them on their phone. Yeah, I'm sort of like, and when they're little, you do have a right to know where they are. You should know. Is it more the fact that you've put a bracelet on them? It's a tracker.

There's something about that that sits uneasy with people. My mum, it was always like, if you're not on the midnight bus, you're in a lot of trouble. When I was like 16, 17, when I go out. The midnight bus home. Midnight bus home. We're just like, mum, you was always like, if you're not on the midnight bus, you're in a lot of trouble. When I was like 16, 17, when I go out. The midnight bus home. Midnight bus home. We're just like, mum, you can't trust me. Like, they're always late.

Yeah, and I used to always fall asleep and wake up at the bloody depot and be like, oh, help me. Turn me around. God, you need a tracker. God, I want to brawl around. I want to put a tracker on you now. Just to make sure. I would like to know as well where I go.

We want to know, you know, maybe before the times of being able to track. Or maybe it cost them a fortune to track you because it wasn't as simple as buying an AirTag or being able to track you via your phone. My parents hired private detectives to tell me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I had an RFID.

In your neck. Yeah, yeah. Inserted. And they'd use rescue gear. Yeah, right. Mountain rescue gear to track me down. Now, my parents were pretty strict, and rightly so, because I was a rat bag.

Yeah. But we would love to know how strict were your parents? What weren't you allowed to do? If you were allowed to say, go out. Especially being the oldest. The oldest kid was always the hardest, because you had to show them that you could go out. Yeah, but you could also really cock it up for everybody coming after you if you were naughty and your younger siblings weren't as naughty.

Okay, we want you to give us a call. 0800-DARLS.M. You can text us 9696. How strict were your parents? What were some of the rules that they had in place? Like curfews? Groundings? Give us a call.

Talking now about how strict your parents were. A woman's tracking her toddlers around their sprawling mansion and when they're at daycares and stuff, I guess. Make sure they're still there. This is that Black Mirror episode, really, isn't it? Where you track your children. We're tracking them. Yeah.

Katrina, how strict were your parents? My parents were, yeah, they were strict. Like, if I got caught driving after 10pm on my restricted, they would take the battery out of my car. Well, my dad would, not my mum. Take the battery out. To be honest, that's not strict. He just wants you to adhere to the law.

Oh, yeah, but everyone goes a little bit over 10. Well, yes, yes, but at the same time, like, everyone else was doing that. That doesn't make it right, Katrina. If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too? Oh, my God, that is the daddest thing. Oh, my God, yes, I would.

That is so brutal because you just can't use your car. The car battery is a step. Brilliant. Katrina thank you. We want to know

how strict your parents were. A mum under fire for air tagging her children. No I'm not putting air tags farmers will be listening thinking you're clicking the air tag.

Like an air piercing. Apple air tags. Jackie how strict were your parents? AirTags, farmers will be listening thinking you're clicking the AirTags. Like an air pissing. Apple AirTags. Jackie, how strict were your parents? So, talking early 80s here, I was the youngest of four children, so that got a little bit more lenient. But if you were going to a party, then there must be an invitation. Oh, how embarrassing. Like a formal, like a...

Yeah. Oh, an invitation. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, no, it wasn't embarrassing. So I just went out and bought a pack of invitations and used to write them out to myself. Oh, my God. So Dad never noticed that they all had the same picture on the front and they were all in my handwriting. Yeah, wow.

That's on Dad. That's on Dad. Yeah, brilliant. Jackie, thank you. Some messages in. Somebody said, my parents were the pastors of an evangelical Christian church. Enough said.

Oh, yeah, okay. You had to lead by example while they were robbing people blind, didn't you? You had to be on your best behaviour while they were literally taking money from people for nothing. Yeah. That's good stuff. When I was 17, my parents would give me a couple of beers on a night out,

but they wouldn't breathalyze me when I got home to check I hadn't had any more. They had a home breathalyzer. What? No more. We'll breathalyze you when you get home. If we left the lights on in our bedrooms, our dad would take the light bulb out. Yeah, that's classic. We wouldn't be entitled to that.

That's all go. Yeah. When I was younger, I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers or go away on trips with my friends. I'm now 21 and not allowed to sleep over at my partner's or go to town or consume alcohol, although I do all these anyway because my parents aren't even religious. Oh, wow.

21 and being like, no, no, no sleepovers, please. Oh, you can't say no to me anymore. I'm an adult. My dad has rules. They are one. No motorbikes, no matter what. Okay. Number two.

Don't do drugs that you smoke. All right. Okay. Pills, powders, edibles, absolutely fine. Your best drinking is done at home And always have a box of his beer So I can have a drink too Oh, that's cute I like it, Dad, it's just I don't smoke that shit

Alright Pills, powders Edibles, absolutely fine Your best drinking is done at home And always have a box of his beer So I can have a drink too Oh, that's cute I like it, Dad, that's cute.

That's... I like it. Dad, it's just I don't smoke that shit. Anyway. Give me some beers. Come here. Let's... ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Rhys Mastin has appeared on the big screen and we can now...

This is my surprise for the nation. Rhys Mastin joins us. Good morning. Good morning. How are you going? Top notch, mate. Good. This is going to make a lot of people feel quite old this morning, isn't it?

You included. Because I remember we interviewed you many times back in the day. 2011, it was a New Zealand number one single. You won the X Factor the third season wasn't it? And you've just done three sold out shows in Christchurch and you're back and performing tomorrow in Auckland and Hamilton it's wild

Yeah it's nuts, it does seem when I flew in because I haven't been back, I've been back for odd little bits and pieces but not to play proper shows so to come back the other day was, yeah, it was nuts. I've missed it so much. I love it. Rhys, how old were you when you won X Factor?

I turned 17 the day I won. I was such a loser achieving nothing at 17. That's massive. So what was it like in Christchurch when there's all this demand to see you? Was that just wild? Well, we didn't know what to do. When we first put the shows, I had no idea.

I knew I wanted to come back. I knew I wanted the 10-year anniversary tour to be in New Zealand because it was such a big, big tour for me over there when I was a kid. And it's hard with you guys. The venues are very much like you've got a lot of small venues and then they're massive. Massive, yeah. Let's not go to the massive venues just in case i look like a dickhead we'll go we'll go somewhere um a little

bit smaller and then um we would research online we found 12 bar which were awesome venue and um yeah one sold out in 24 hours and then the second one in 48 hours and then the third one and we're like yeah right this is this is good. Let's keep doing it. It's good for the ego booking the small bars is what we're hearing. The smaller place is better for the ego. 100%. Good man. Man, no, it was a good vibe.

Like, it was cool to be back and, you know, for me, you know, I'm 28 now. I'm 28, 29. And it's cool to come back and, you know, see, you know, through Australia I've been able to see everybody throughout this whole time and, like, people have been growing up with me coming to the shows for the last 10 years. I see them all the time.

Yeah. Come back to New Zealand and play to a crowd that I haven't seen for that long and see how much it's changed from back then, 10, 12 years ago, but then see everybody singing those same songs but drunk. It's probably an imprint. It was nuts. It was so good.

We had an absolute ball. So yeah, we're really looking forward to, we're flying tomorrow. So we're pumped. We can't wait to come back. Speaking of getting older, Rhys, because I feel like looking at you when you were first on the music scene, you and I shared a very similar aesthetic

of the sort of emo vibes. You've got the fringe going, the air stretches. How are your lobes now? Because most of my friends have had to have their sort of surgically puckered up. I put them back in the other day. I don't miss them. I stuffed up.

I went too big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all do. They're not attractive. When you get a hold of them, they're like, yeah, I'm waiting until I get into my 30s and 40s. They'll probably start sagging a little bit. But do you, like me, still have the emo soul in your spirit?

You just carry it and you never leave it? Yeah, we just, we actually, we're writing the new set for next year and I'm going through my playlist and I'm like, you know, I don't want to play, you know, you don't want to play Jimmy Barnes and all that stuff. I want to play something a little bit more modern, I call it. And My Chemical Romance came out the other day. Yes. you don't want to play Jimmy Barnes or that stuff. I want to play something a little bit more modern, I call it. And My Chemical Romance came out the other day.

Yes. And I'm like, oh, maybe I'm going to do a little bit of My Chemical Romance. Yes, please. But isn't it sad to think, like, for me, I'm like, oh, this is like a vintage song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's old school. The young people at work are like, oh, it's nostalgia. It's like, yeah.

Yeah, no. It doesn't feel like two weeks ago to us older boys at all. No, no, no, not at all, not at all. Carwen, our producer, come on in. Yeah, she's a massive fan. What were your fans called? What were their... Little Rockers.

Little Rockers, not the Mastinators. No, not the Mastinators. No, no, no. Just like to avoid that. But here's Carwen and she's... She was a big fan. What have you got? Hello.

Hey, darling. She's got some merc, don't you? Yeah, look, when I was about 12, you came to Hawke's Bay and I was 12, so all I could afford was this little rubber bracelet, but I still have it. What does it say? Brace Little Rockers. Yeah. You're so cool. Thank you so much.

Wow. I will be front row on Saturday. Yeah, she's excited. Yeah, it's going to be a vibe. Bring the wristband. Bring the wristband. Oh, she is. Oh, she will. She certainly will. Absolutely, certainly. Well, Tuning Forks Saturday, and then a late night show on Hamilton at the Factory.

Rhys Mastin, so good to talk to you. You're looking well. Enjoy your time in New Zealand. Yeah. And I know that, yeah, a lot of fans are so happy that you're back. Bless you guys. Thanks for having me on. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Wow. We always, well, this is for the last year or so, I'd say, we call them a scheduled blowout. And we always like to have a little social blowout in the calendar. And once we do that one, we'll go, okay, we need to put another one in the calendar. And we'll sort of look forward and be like, oh, I reckon maybe in six weeks' time it'll be nice to have a little cocktail party

or something like that for a scheduled blowout. Especially when, like yourself, you're going hard at the gym and eating well. No, no, no. Remember, I'm doing the anti-gym routine at the moment. That's right. So you're doing that. I'm doing that. Coming up on Monday.

It'll be six weeks since I've been. And yeah, the results are slow. The results are slow. Yeah. But oh, God. Yeah. Anyway, so today is said scheduled blowout. And unfortunately, Vaughan can't come.

You don't normally, though, because you don't like social events. It's the people for me. Us? Yeah. Wow. Wow, that hurts. It's my hailing this time. I'm a bit much.

She's a bit much. No, no, no, you're not a bit much. I've got something else on. Otherwise, I would. Yeah. Good stuff. Because we're also with our mutual friend, Matty McLean and his husband, Ryan.

We're checking out their new house. Because this was organised at the previous one. We always need to know when the next is. We did kind of invite ourselves over to their place. I feel like they don't. New house. Yeah. New house.

Are they ready for guests? Because, you know, when you move into a house, you might get asked. He's already prefaced a lot. Oh, it's not as big as, oh, you know, it's quite small, but if you guys are happy with that, it's all right. We're not here to judge. No, we're happy, yeah. Anyway, as a little special thing,

this came to us in a sort of back and forth, an idea for a new cocktail. And then, Vaughn, you were like, why don't you do it like this, which is take a favourite from the Cadbury Favourites box and turn it into a cocktail that we'll come up with. And, of course, we were like, this is amazing because we're talking about Turkish delights, and that's my favourite.

It's my fave too. It's Lynch's favourite. So we're going to make tonight for our friends a Turkish Delight cocktail. And I'm not really a cocktail maker. I'm pretty good, so I'll lead the charge. Okay. But it's a team effort. But we've had to get, like, ingredients.

We've had to get online and get ingredients. So you're doing Turkish Delight. Tell me the ingredients. Well, we found some recipes online. We sort of use it. We're basing them on a loose recipe because this is a Turkish Delight martini based.

That was my next question. I thought we were going to go gin. Gin is martini. Is it? Oh, okay. But it's not. It just kind of looks like it, but it's got a froth top. That was my thing. It just kind of looks like it, but it's got a frost top. That was my thing. Are we shaking?

We're shaking. Okay, we're shaking. We're not stirring. So we're going to go, well, you ordered. What glass are you pouring it into? A martini glass or are you doing like a short? I don't know. Like a tumbler or a flute?

I mean, they're gays. They're going to have cocktail glasses. Yeah, I feel like we won't be sure. I feel like they just got married, didn't they? Is it the Gay King sends you a cocktail set on your gay marriage? Yeah. That's right. And a shaker set, everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll be fine. But yeah, we're going to shake it. And I got some rose syrup because that's the flavour of Turkish delight. Rose? Rose. Is it? Yeah, that's what traditional, like traditional Turkish delight is.

We just dipped our finger in it and I licked my finger and I was like, too much. That's a lot. That bottle makes 10 litres of rose syrup. So we're going to have a bit of that. So I think it'll be like, if we go to do it in parts, let's say a two-part gin because that's your base, and then I would go, I don't even know if I'd go one.

Maybe a half. What are you? A three-quarter part rose syrup. Okay. And that's all going in the shaker with some ice. That's going to go in with ice. Also aquafaba rather than egg white because I think it creates a silkier froth. Yeah.

But we're also going to add in, because that would be your more traditional Turkish delight, but we're going Cadbury favourites. We're adding in clear creme de cacao, which is a chocolatey without affecting your colour. It's not a milky brown one or a brown one. It's a white clear one. Are you going to grate some chocolate on top?

Yes, like a flake. We're going to do flake on top. That's for the flake? No, but it's for the outer layer. It's the same chocolate, but I also bought, and they arrived in the mail yesterday, mini Turkish delights. And we'll cut them in half and then put a little slit in them and put them on the rim.

On the rim of the glass. Should we do a rim? Should we do... Instead of a flake on top, should we do a flake rim? Flake rim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crumbled chocolate rim. Flake rim.

How do you get the... Chocolate rim. Salt would... Careful. Chocolate won't stick to a rimimm as well as salt would. Dip it in the rose syrup because it's sticky. You said how sweet that was, right? You said how sweet that syrup was.

That could overdo it. But you could just do a half Rimm. Just like a little Rimm bit. Yeah. What else would make chocolate stick to the glass? Glue. Glue stick. We could get the PVA out.

We'll get the PVA. How good does this sound though? Chocolate rose. It actually sounds significantly classier than I imagined. See, you called us trash. And if this goes well, we're going to go and do the next favourite, crunchy. I'll be there for crunchy. I'm refusing to turn up for the boost cocktail weekend.

I'm sick that weekend. What about refusing to turn up for the boost cocktail weekend. I'm sick that weekend. What about bounty? Bounty would be fun. Oh, yeah. You could use like a coconut rum. Yeah, like a pineapple, like Malibu, which is coconut rum. Yes. And then the cacao again, the chocolate.

That's going to need a lot of that. Then you could froth as well and then do a coconut. Toasted coconut. Yes, yes, yes. You could even do the rim of the coconut because that desiccated coconut would stick to the... Now, I've just found a... Everyone's saying melt the chocolate on the glass.

What a phenomenal idea! What a phenomenal idea! So, like, run the glass so that it's super hot. No, no. And then dip the glass. Like put the chocolate on a plate. Melt it. Melt it and then rim it.

And then dip the glass. And the glass will be cold because you've got to put your glasses in the freezer. Yes. Oh my gosh. And then you're also not pouring your cocktail. Which is then going to be hard to pour. What about dip the whole cocktail glass in a pot of chocolate? The whole cocktail glass?

Yeah, so it's like a chocolate cupboard. Oh, my God. And then pop it out like a mold. Or could we pour it into an Easter egg? No, now you're trashing it. Now we're trashing it. Why am I trashing it? Trash alley.

Okay, look, we'll stay tuned. Someone said as a bar person, never half room. Always full room. Always full rim. Always full rim. Okay, full rim. I'm feeling brave this weekend, so why not? Hey, I just found this honeycomb liqueur. It's based on a whiskey honeycomb liqueur for our crunchy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we'll put this on Instagram, even if it goes bad. Like when you make that pebble over. Somebody said for a bounty bar, you just do shots that are half chocolate liqueur in Malibu. Okay. Trash. I'm sorry. You're taking us down a trash alley again.

You are making... It sounds yum. We're not going around to the gay's palace to be doing your child version of quick Fs. Bounty shots. Yeah, that actually sounds really nice. Yeah, it does, but it's... Fact of the day is next.

Lean into the trash for one. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day as we look forward to the we can throw him with him in him. Have you watched the John Mulaney, the new John Mulaney? Aaron has. Netflix special.

I haven't watched it, but I saw a clip about how he went back to church with his parents and they'd changed something about church. Very, for Catholics, very funny. Please be with you. And also with you. But you don't anymore. You say, and within your spirit or something. And he's like, they changed it.

Why did they change it? I don't know. They changed these things. Sometimes people just get in there to muddle things up, you know, just to make them up. And as he points out, there's many things that could change about the Catholic Church and that seemed like the least important.

Yeah. Fair call. Anyway, must watch. Very funny man. Today's Fact of the Day is about the weekend. There is one country in the world that does not have a weekend that is two days in a row. They have two days separated.

What did Dubai used to do? This was two days in a row, but it was out by a day. Friday, Saturday. Yeah, Saturday, because Friday's a massive day for prayer. But they've changed it now? Because Sunday's not the end. Because they want to tie it up with the rest of the world's working world for trade and all that, I think. Because Sunday's not their Lord's Day, is it?

No, Friday, I think, is their religious day. Friday's their religious day. And Saturday. Why don't they just take Friday, Saturday, Sunday? That's what I'm considering. They worked Sunday to Thursday. They would work Sunday and then take Friday, Saturday. That's quite popular throughout the Middle East.

Okay. Iran only has one day. Oh. Stink, hey? They work all, just have Saturday off, or Friday off, rather. There's one country in the world that has two days off, but they are not

lunch together. Okay, tell us the country and we'll guess the days. Country. I was more thinking you could, well, there's 190 whatever countries. There's so many countries. So many countries. Yeah. Give us a clue. Are they sort of, are we in Europe?

Are we in Asia? We're in Asia. We're in Asia. One of the. Brunei. Yes. What? You did it!

Well done, sir. You're a smart boy. I'm pretty good, eh? Well done, sir. It's the only country in the world that has a non-contiguous working week, consisting Monday to Thursday and then again Saturday. The resting days are Friday because of the significant part of the population that devotes it to prayer, and Sunday.

Oh, my God, no, but then you can't get a run on. No, I know you can't get a run on. That's odd. Yeah, isn't it? Isn't it? There are different places where it's like different areas do it, but as a whole country, they're the only country in the world that has a non-contiguous, contiguous?

Contiguous. Continuous. No, it's not continuous. What is contiguous? When it's broken up. Non-contiguous. One piece? Yeah. One piece? It just honestly sounds like you're saying continuous wrong.

It does sound like I'm saying. Next altogether in sequence is contiguous. Sequential. That's a better one. Yeah, weekday. Oh, this would not suit me. No, it wouldn't work out. I like it too. You'd hardly loosen up.

Well, we'd have cocktail night and then have to go to work the next day. Absolutely not. No, no, you'd have cocktail night on the Thursday night. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, but you've had a work day here and then... You've had a work day, cocktail day off. Right, the next day off to a hangover. I need two days.

I need a clean day. I need two days now. Then, of course, at the end of that Saturday that you've just worked you're probably going to huck another big one there Horrible. Yeah, just terrible Terrible. Huck another big one. Terrible planning. So today's fact of the day is Brunei is the only

country in the world that has a two day weekend but the weekend's in two parts. Fact of the day, day, day, day day Fact of the day, day, day, day, day That's Steve Jobs there That's why I seem to be so livid The man Got things done Perhaps he Was a little

His tongue could do A sweeter touch It was a little acidic at times Yes But he got things done He got things done He got things done Still vest is still on

You okay mate? What's happening? Yeah we're nearly there Yeah Still vest No I'm happy to be here And it's my pleasure To entertain you this morning

Last night I was going to begin the Friday wind down. No, you're not allowed to wind down yet. Also, we're hitting a brunch, eh? Yeah, we're hitting some. Double brunch. Hitting some brunch. We're bookending the week with a brunch.

We deserve it. This is the new way forward. Everybody that deserves a brunch, we're far down the list. Treat yourself today, ladies and gentlemen. It doesn't have to be a financial treat. What about the cost of living, Vaughan? No, no, no. It doesn't have to be a financial treat. What about the cost of living, Vaughan? No, no, no. It doesn't have to be a financial treat.

Sylvester Stallone. You should listen to sex.life, and we give lots of advice on how you can treat yourself for free. There you go. You're just going to find somebody who's willing to embrace the rainbow cosmic orgasmic energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let it be messy. It's been radiating since the big bang.

Sylvester Stallone, actor, action star, wow guy. Also a father. And one of his daughters, he's got Sophia, Scarlett, and Sistine. Going home to meet the dad. Intimidating. Any kind of 80s, 90s action hero would just be so intimidating. Yeah. So I think Paramount's doing a, like, living with us kind of a Stallone.

A family Stallone. A family Stallone, I believe. Anyway, apparently Sistine, who I keep wanting to call Cistern, as in the toilet Cistern. The toilet Cistern or the Sistine Chapel. Which a lot of people still think is the 16th chapel, but no. She revealed that he actually writes, Sylvester Stallone writes her breakup texts.

Now, I've got to say, don't break up with people on text. Not on text. That's the coward's way. Yeah. At least give them a phone call, if not face-to-face. However, she's obviously breaking up all the time and he was like, yeah, guilty. I'm actually just a very good writer and

I think I can put it into better words. She was like, yeah, he's pretty good, but he always wants to end it with keep punching. His catchphrase. Keep punching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. She's like, I delete that part, but everything else is usually pretty good and I just send them off.

How many times has he done this? I know. She's like, I delete that part, but everything else is usually pretty good, and I just send them off. How many times has he done this? I know. She's doing this constantly via text. Ruthless. Yeah, I know. Anyway, so I wanted to know when you got someone else to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever for you. Surely.

Because this is so teenage. I was going to say it's like, you know, high school. Can you tell Ben that, like, I hate him and that he's a loser and that he's no longer allowed near me? Can you tell him? That's what it reminds me of. But maybe your parents get involved. Maybe you've got friends.

Maybe you came up with some kind of elaborate way of doing it. That you didn't have to do it yourself. Because it is hard. And then if your friend's like, well, I'll just tell them. I mean, that's so bad. Don't get me wrong. It should be a universally agreed upon song. And if you play that person's song, the writing's on the wall.

And everybody agrees that the song is not played for any purpose apart from breakups. Okay. So if you go around. You just put a playlist on and you're like, oh, we'll just listen to music and then it plays and you're like. Oh, no. It's like played for any purpose but from breakups. Okay. So if you go around. So if you put a playlist on and you're like, oh, we'll just listen to music and then it plays and you're like. Oh, no. It's like a surprise.

There it is. Yep. I guess I'll see myself out. Thank you, ma'am. Thank you, sir. Thank you for the access to both your boobies and our time together. The pleasure was all mine. See myself out.

This has been quite an amicable situation. Enjoy yourself. And to you, my final words, keep punching Vaughn. Keep punching. Okay, somebody's messaged in saying they do it for a friend at high school. Are we only going to get the high school stories? I want to know more if you've done this as an adult. Any grown adults that have outsourced

a breakup to a friend, 0800 dials at Emma's number. You can give us a call. You can text as well 9696 When did you Someone suggested we should have Lonely by Akon As the breakup song As the song

I'm happy to sacrifice that to only being played Yeah Me too As a breakup We want to know when did you get someone to do the breakup for you We want to know when you've outsourced a breakup A breakup to somebody We've made them break up with someone for you. Yeah.

Sylvester Stallone breaks up for his girl, his daughters via text. And we're also sort of semi deciding on a song that can only ever be played during breakups. Yeah. Somebody said Andrea Pocelli's Time to Say Goodbye, but that's such a beautiful song, we don't want

it only for bad. Funerals, it's perfect for funerals. Yeah, funerals, and then people think they're getting broken up with at their gran's funeral. Now, is anybody outside of high school doing this? Outsourcing breakups? Yep. My best friend served my ex their divorce papers. Do you have to, is it divorce papers? You have to give them?

Yeah. Like, if it's not amicable like on a movie. Like when you both sign, but somebody's like, you're being served. Can't email them. Yeah. Like if it's not amicable where you post and sign, but somebody's like, you're being served. Can't email them. Yeah. What do you, you don't like the music in the background? I'm not a fan of the Lion King. Sounds like we're in a bloody elevator.

It's that division. They're telling you, you've got to go back to your seats because they're sicking up at the Lion King. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's performance of the Lion King will resume in approximately five minutes. Please return to your seats. That is so funny.

Sarah, good morning. Good morning. When have you outsourced a breakup? Well, it was kind of by mistake. I had been trying to find said partner,

who I found out had been cheating on me. Took me a couple of days to get a hold of him. So I ended up taking a photo of his stuff on the front doorstep, putting it on Facebook and tagging him. And then one of his mates called and said, what's going on? So I said, you know, this is what's happening.

Tell your mate what's happened. Yeah, that's what we did. We went off and told his mate. So you kind of outsourced your breakup to Facebook and his friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you didn't have to have that conversation, did you? Well, I loved it on the Facebook. A lot of people knew he was broken up with before he did.

Yeah. Sarah, thanks for your call. More messages and texts to get to. We'll get to those next. Harry Styles, late night talking. ZM. When did you get someone else to do your dirty work and do your breaking up for you?

Because Sylvester Stallone breaks up for his daughter, writes her little dirty messages. Yeah. Somebody messaged in saying they used ChatGPT to do a breakup. So I went in and I was just like, can you write me a breakup message to send to my girlfriend? And firstly, thank you very much, ChatGPT. I'm so sorry to hear

you've been going through a difficult time. It's important to remember that breaking up with someone is a deeply personal and sensitive matter. Oh, thank you. Hello. As in don't copy and paste this and send it via text.

Hey, Barbara, I hope you're doing okay. I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind for a while now and I believe it's important that we address it. I want to start by saying this decision hasn't been easy for me,

but after careful consideration, I've come to the realization that it's best for both of us to end our romantic relationship important that we address it. I want to start by saying this decision hasn't been easy for me but after careful consideration I've come to the realization that it's best for both of us to end our romantic relationship. It's too formal. It's too formal.

Can you ask it to be less formal and one sentence? Shorter and less formal please. And one sentence. And one sentence. And one sentence.

Okay it's typing now. Okay there's one sentence next paragraph. That's another sentence. Say one sentence. Please make it one sentence. Short up. Hey, girlfriend's name.

After a lot of thought, I've realized it's best for us to break up because we want different things in life and I want you to find the happiness you deserve. Short and sweet. That's so good. That's so good. Short and sweet. That's good. It's about you. I want you to be happy. you deserve. Short and sweet. That's so good. That's so good. Short and sweet. That's good.

It's about you. I want you to be happy. Yeah, that's good, eh? Put the ball in their court. Or say you're ugly. You're crazy. It turns out you're crazy. Right, make it meaner.

It won't. It won't. It doesn't like doing things. Okay. It doesn't like doing things. Make it meaner. I understand you may be hurt right now, but it's important to approach a breakup with kindness and empathy,

treating others with respect, even in a difficult situation. Moral high. Get off your moral high horse. You just got told off by ChatGPT, by AI. ChatGPT is ugly. Tell them I think they're ugly. No, no, no, no, no. I know someone that asked their stepdaughter to tell his wife that he was leaving her.

So that's... Okay, that's quite an outsource, that one. How that goes. You can email divorce papers now, but you have to ask the court for permission. Oh, God. Really? That you can do it, yeah. I served my friend's husband his divorce papers, but I was worried about doing it,

so she got really drunk before I went and she dropped me off there and then waited outside and I came in. My 15 year old niece's dad gave her a piece of paper. It said he's finished with this relationship. So to give to her. Was that chat GTP to her? You print out the chat

just make sure you change that but that says hey insert girlfriend's name to their resume. Yes. I'm the one that gets outs hey, insert girlfriend's name to the original. Yes. I'm the one that gets outsourced to. I break up with my best friend's girlfriend's from all the time, mostly by text from Trish. So that must be hard because it's coming from another woman. And then that woman must think there's something going on here.

Unless she's, you know, I mean, a major part of it all the time. Yeah. You never know. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Cato's a very good friend of mine.

She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.