ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th October 2023

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Sara Lee!  Top 6: Better Suburbs  Name Badges  Silly Little Poll!  Fletch will live forever  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Big day, big day, big day. Big day, we've got our live show tonight at Auckland's Sky City Theatre. Mm-hmm. You're jazzed, you've got your piano in.

The piano's been dragged in. I just, that's why I was touching my breasts just then. Because I wasn't sure what bra I was wearing and whether or not I brought a better bra. And I have, I just remembered. You've got a suitcase and a day bag. No, the day bag's for the gyme. Because we're going to the gyme together and it's got shower stuff in it. The suitcase has, you know, your hair, your makeup, your other parts.

Did you bring a suitcase? Well, I didn't bring a suitcase. I brought a paper bag. You always got to have a suitcase to the teatro, darling. I didn't bring a suitcase. But I'm going home. I was just going to get changed and then come back. Right.

It's a whole ritual for me to, you know, to transform into the character. Very exciting. Friend of the show, friend of yours, dear friend for many years, opening. Eli Mathewson. Eli Mathewson. One of the funniest comedians. So we'll see you there tonight if you've got your tickets. It is sold out. Yeah, if you don't.

So no pressure. Tomorrow as well, the long weekend group toot. Ahead of the day off on Monday for Labor Day. Laborious day. Excited about that. Coming up on the show, the top six. And Ponsonby in Auckland.

This is some absolute nonsense. Named one of the coolest suburbs in the world. Ponsonby sucks. I'll go on record, there's nothing in Ponsonby that can't be found in other suburbs cheaper with better parking in the rest of the country. Got some good food. Also, yeah, and that's the only suburb in New Zealand that made the list. Oh, really?

Yeah, dude. Okay, well, now I'm shocked. Yeah. I, for one, am aghast. Aghast. Are you aghast? I'm aghast, darling. Top six soon.

I like the top six other suburbs from around New Zealand better than Ponsonby. Nice. One from each major city. I'm going to start the show next with some really bad news, guys, because news headlines are out of Australia. An iconic Aussie dessert company has collapsed into administration and these desserts and these treats are in our supermarket freezers. Don't say it.

What does this mean? Don't say it. What does this mean? Don't say it. What does this mean? Panicky bulk buy? Maybe. Panicky bulk buy. There may have to be today. The people panic people.

I've choked on my spit, but I am also very emotional about this. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's world news headlines out of Australia overnight. Iconic Aussie dessert company, Saralee. Saralee. Saralee. Saralee.

Saralee. Saralee. Saralee has gone into administration. You are speaking at a funeral and you don't even know how to say her name. This is... I'm pretty sure it's Sarah. I've always said Saralee. Because Australians go Sarah. Even Sarah sounds's Sarah. Sarah Lee. I've always said Sarah Lee. Because Australians go Sarah.

Even Sarah sounds like Sarah. Okay. Yeah, but I think it's just Sarah with a no H. Yes. No H. Well, the company known for its apple pies, cheesecakes. No one was getting Sarah Lee apple pies. That is right.

That's on the list of the apple pies. Frozen chocolate desserts, including Bev, would always buy. Mum would always buy the chocolate Bavarian. Oh, the Bavarian. She was so serious. No, no, no. always buy the chocolate Bavarian. Oh, the Bevarian. She was so synonymous with it. She was the chocolate Bevarian. They were so good. They were so good.

I mean, they are so good. You'd punish one real quick, though. Oh, easily. Your family of four, quarter-inch gone. They're small. You could almost do one-eighth. Yum. Well, the company known for its favourite desserts

for more than 50 years, started in New South Wales, has gone into voluntary administration. No. Fight through, you wimps. The idea is that the appointment of administrators, I don't know what any of this means. It means people come in, right, and take over the company? Right.

It's intended to seek a restructuring and a sale of the Sarah Lee business while continuing operations. It's Sarah. Sarah. It's Sarah. It is Sarah. Sarah Lee. So I would imagine they're still going to be in supermarkets?

They better be. In New Zealand? Aaron loves the cheesecake, the strawberry cheesecake. Oh, dude, the strawberry cheesecake. I'm not a huge strawberry guy, but strawberry cheesecake. Straight from the freezer. He wouldn't even let it defrost. He's forking that thing.

He's loving it. Oh, you'd always fork a chocolate Barbarian when it was ice. You'd chip away. Oh, yeah, chip away at it. Chip away at it. Oh, my God. Chip away. Well, yeah, at this stage, that's not great news, is it?

So maybe stock up. Like you say, panic buy a few. Yeah, definitely panic buy. Put them in the freezer. Get a few toilet rolls while you're at it as well, just in case we get short on those. We almost need some morning music, and I could read it like an in-memoriam of some of their better products.

Of like, yeah, well, I mean, they're not dead yet. Basically, they're in ICU, Vaughan. To use an analogy, they're in ICU. They could pull through. No one pulls through. Or they could just pull the cord. They'll pull through, but they'll be irreversible damage. You could pull through. Or they could just pull the cord. They'll pull through but there'll be irreversible damage.

You sing the Arms of an Angel and I'll read out it. The deluxe chocolate salted caramel semifreddo. Chocolate Bavarian cheesecake. Strawberry chocolate Bavarian cheesecake. It's under... Strawberry

Kool-Aid cheesecake. The baked chocolate ganache. Baked cheesecake. Yeah. The deep dish apple crumble pie. Saralee's not dead yet.

I feel like this is premature. Sticky date pudding. Always room for a little bit of pie. Saralee's not dead yet. I feel like this is premature. Sticky date pudding. Always room for a little bit of pie. I can't get through the song. Are you going to say the chocolate Bavarian? I thought I said chocolate Bavarian at the start. Chocolate Bavarian. Yeah, I did. Thank you.

Creamy tiramisu. That's a good one. That's a bloody good Saralee. Triple chocolate chunk of a period. In the eyes of the angel. I did ice cream. But you were telling me that this huge company

and all their delicious desserts that New Zealanders, I'm sure, nom up and Australians. We nom, nom, nom. There's trouble. They're paying the CEO too much. They're paying the management too much.

I think, do you reckon people are getting bougie? People are getting too bougie. We nom nom nom. There's trouble. Surely not. I think people are getting bougie. People are getting too bougie. We're moving away. We think we're better than Sarah Lee. We're not better than Sarah Lee. We're not better than Sarah Lee. Fingers crossed they can pull through. This is obviously news out of Australia. I don't know if New Zealand operations are any different.

Devastating news actually. I think this is an ongoing. This is a thoughts and prayers for me For me it's also thoughts and prayers I don't do a lot of thoughts and prayers Do their boxed cakes make it to our shores Or are we an Edmonds dominated market Yeah I'm sure

They did a Danish though They did a blueberry Danish You walk down the frozen food section There is a lot of competition But Sarah Lee You know what you're getting. I know. Well, thoughts and prayers. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Bloody preaching to the choir

here, mate. Yeah. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows. We know. I know. Let's thoughts and prayers it. Yeah. Actually, can we get some if you just want to send thoughts and prayers social media 9696. We're taking thoughts and prayers this year alone. Thank you.

Next on the show. Amanda Knox, who you may remember, was accused of killing her roommate. Yes. But was proven innocent. Yeah, there's a Netflix. There's been many docos on it. Yeah, indeed. Well, she's actually gone viral for something even more scandalous than that.

Now, Amanda Knox, who I mentioned, she kind of got her following by being proven innocent in 2015 for the murder of her roommate. This was when they were in Italy? Yeah, they were in Italy. Because I watched whatever the latest Netflix doco was on that. Yeah, same. So did I. And then she was acquitted of that. Did they ever find who actually killed that woman? I don't know.

I can't remember. I think they were just a really shoddy investigation. Yeah, they're too busy bloody having a bloody Prosecco in the morning and a little bloody sleep in the afternoon. Yeah. Well, anyway, she after this has amassed a bit of a large social media following as a mum and as a, you know, I don't know, a person, a human being.

But now she's gone viral for something that has the internet aghast, basically. Every night she sees her and her husband, who are expecting their chicken baby, their chicken baby, switch sides of the bed every single night. So they alternate. Oh, alternate.

They alternate. It is. Night to night, it's alternate. They alternate. They do. She said, you've been doing it wrong. The correct way to sleep with your partner is to swap sides of the bed every night. No way.

No way. Better for your body, especially if you spoon, yeah, for like 10 seconds, as you'll be laying on opposite shoulders each night. Which I get that. I kind of get that. But I also roll from side to side. She must be in a constant spoon. Oh yeah right. She must always be a little spoon.

It would be easier if you just did that thing where you come together for a bit and then separate and don't touch each other again for the rest of the night. Yeah that's the perfect way to sleep. Yeah. Small short cuddle until they go far out. It's too hot.

Yeah, get off me. Don't touch me. Are you swatting hands away? Yeah. Where I'm like arching away. Yeah. Because it's very hot in the groin area. That's where all the heat's kept.

You reach around and have a fiddle with the bits. And you're like, is this happening? And they're like, it's not happening. And you're like, alright then, screw you. Screw you, yeah, yeah. And you roll away. You're like, oh, this is a nice cuddle. Nah, not that kind of cuddle. Well, get out then. I've been getting signs all afternoon that it was on. Yeah, fine.

I'll sleep in the spare room. I don't want to be near you. Anyway, apparently that's the way that she was like, you've got to do it. You've got to move around. I feel, did we do this silly little poll a while back? Do you, like, do you change, and there were a small minority of people that did change it up. That didn't have a specific side of the bed.

Yeah, we did a silly little poll, you're right. They would get to bed and the person would be like, oh, this is just my side tonight. And the other partner's like, okay, well, I guess this is my side. You know, same, got to have the same side side tonight. And the other partner's like, okay, well, I guess this is my side. Yeah, no, same. Got to have the same side every night. You sleep alone most of the time. Which side do you sleep on?

Well, I have the left side and Major Murray Fluffington has the right side. No cats inside. Yes, cats in the bed. No cats on the bed. No animals inside. Cats in between the legs. I'll cling to the side so that Raleigh is so comfortable. I do a sweep of the house every night before bed

and make sure there are no animals inside. Oh, my gosh. You're so mean. He's a mean. He's a mean dad. Top six is next on the show. The top six suburbs better than Ponsonby. Ponsonby, I'll tell you who said that this

is one of the best suburbs in the world. It's been named one of the coolest in the whole world. I definitely like parts of it. A few good bars, eateries, fancy shops. Yeah. I'm happy to leave. I spat on it. Did you spit on Ponsonby? I spit on it. Well, the top six other suburbs

that are better. Yep. Next. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Look, hello there. Last year, Kingsland was the cool Auckland suburb. Kingsland rules. Kingsland's a bit gritty. It's a cool, funky town.

So this isn't a list of New Zealand's coolest. No, it's the world. It's their top 40 worldwide suburbs that are the greatest place for food, fun, culture, and community, according to UK media outlet Time Out. Suburbs. Ah. Interesting. And no other.

So Kingsland was on there last year. Kingsland was at 43 last year, and Ponsonby's at 33 this year. And so Kingsland didn't make it to the list this year. And no other. It didn't get uncooler. This is lack of consistency here. Yeah. But no other New Zealand suburbs on the list. What, can you sprinkle a few?

Do you have the list? I can go the top 10 coolest suburbs. Yeah, okay. Tomagaya in Tokyo, Japan. Great. West in Amsterdam. Isola in Milan. Midcity in New Orleans. Brunswick East in Melbourne. Oh, you. Isola in Milan. Mid City in New Orleans.

Brunswick East in Melbourne. Oh, you love Brunswick. Where's Brunswick? Brunswick, yeah. I'd live in Brunswick if I lived in Melbourne. I'm at Flinders. Where's Brunswick? Can I catch a tram?

Yeah, you can catch a tram, love. Like, it's not inner city, but it's funky town. Okay, cool. Where all the artists live. Yeah, you would definitely live in Brunswick. I love, like, it's not inner city, but it's funky town. Okay, cool. Where all the artists live. Yeah, you would definitely live in Brunswick. My brother used to live in a converted warehouse in Brunswick. Of course he did. As a musician.

It was pretty cool. Moved from Wellington? Moved from Wellington, bro. Of course he did. Straight to Melbourne. Abandoned warehouse. It's a natural progression. Yeah, it is.

Wellington to Melbourne. Yeah. Brunswick East. Oh, I know where you are, actually. Close to the zoo. Not far from the zoo. Not far. Oh, I know where you are, actually. Close to the zoo. Not far from the zoo. Not far. Yeah, I know where you are now.

That's actually very nice. We should grab a Sara Lee and go to the park. We should. Get a Sara Lee, go to the park. Yeah. That's actually nice. Nice work, guys. Good one.

Shui Wang in Hong Kong. You can't say that. I don't know if you can say that. Havnan in Copenhagen, Denmark. Karabanshal in Madrid. That sounds good. Smithfield in Dublin, Ireland. And Lorelei in Medellin, Colombia.

It's hard because you don't know suburbs as well as you know cities. Have I said that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Been there? Been there, done that, so to speak? Loralees. Loralees.

Wasn't that the one from Gilmore Girls? Yeah, that's what I tried to say, Loralee in a Spanish accent. That's actually great. That's very cool. Wow, okay. That's a big-ass neighbourhood. Well, I got the top six New Zealand suburbs

that are better than Ponsonby. Hit it. Ponsonby's so expensive. Parking's a nightmare. Driving's a nightmare. Oh, why don't you take the bus? No, thank you. I like it.

It's expensive. I did see someone with a stab wound come out of that metro station in Columbia. They had a stab wound? They had just been stabbed. Yeah, but everyone in Columbia has been stabbed. You know, get a grip. I don't know if they have. Get a grip.

You'll be all right. Yes, okay. You'll be all right. Yes, okay. You'll be all right. Top six suburbs better than Ponsonby. Six on the list. North Dunedin, the home of Dunedin culture. Yeah. Scarfieville.

North Dunedin. Love it. I don't know Dunedin that well. It's got energy. It's got vibrancy. It's got zero insulation. I was going to say, it's got top insulation. Old houses.

I don't know if insulation counts towards what they class as a cool suburb. No, they don't take insulation into account. No. No, they definitely don't. It's got the botanical gardens. Beautiful botanical gardens. It's got a lookout. It's got, I've just Googled and I'm looking at a map.

It's on the verge of Foyseweath Bar Stadium. Oh, yeah. It's got the university. It's got the library. Northdeneden-Waith-Bois Stadium. It's got the university. It's got the library. Northdeneden's got it all. Better than Ponsonby. Number five on the list of the top six suburbs. Better than Ponsonby. Hamilton East. Hamilton East rules.

I lived in Hamilton East when I was a student. I met my wife. She was living in a very horrible, horrible flat in Hamilton East. But Hamilton East is lovely. It's got river access. It's got East. But Hamilton East is lovely. It's got river access. It's got cafes. It's got pubs.

It doesn't have clubs. They're not selling it to us. It's got Waikato University. The sprawling open grounds. Yeah, it's not. Yeah. I don't know. It's really nice, guys.

Hamilton East is Ponsonby without all of Ponsonby's problems. Number four on the list of the top six suburbs that are better than Ponsonby in New of Ponsonby's problems. Number four on the list of the top six suburbs that are better than Ponsonby in New Zealand, Newtown and Wellington. Yes. Say no more. Newtown's lovely. Haven't spent nearly enough time in Newtown.

I've lived in like three houses in Newtown. Love it. Yeah. Love it. Beautiful spot in Newtown. Very funky town. Very arty farty. Just away from the public servants enough to...

Very close to Toy Focardi's in Newtown. Is it? Yep. That's why all the actors live in Newtown. Well, well, well. Number three on the list of the top six

suburbs better than Ponsonby, Papamoa in the Bay of Plenty. Really? It looks like an American bloody seat. No, no, no.

You're going to the wrong area of Papamoa. No, no, no. There's like Sunset California Ave. The nude beach. Oh yeah, no, no. When there's like Sunset, California Ave. The nude beach. Oh, yeah, I'm back.

The nude beach is down there. Okay. I'm sort of old Papamoa. By the campgrounds, you got restaurants, you got shoppings nearby, so that's easy. I'd go the Mount over Papamoa. Yeah, same. Yeah. Way better food.

You can afford Mount rates, can you? You can just waltz into Mount Maunganui and afford all this hoolinilly. It gets so busy over summer down at the mainland. Don't get me wrong. It's a beautiful beach. It's too busy. It's humming. And Papamoa's bigger.

The population is booming, but it's a lovely suburb. Number two on the list of the top six suburbs better than Plonsonby. Stepping in in its place in Auckland, Point Cheve. Point Cheve is a better Plonsonby. What are you screwing your face up for? Point Shev's a bit of Ponsonby. The shops are lacking. And we waited way too long for that pizza that time.

Do you remember? Oh, my God. We were stuck there. And do you remember I said to you at the time, I hope this suburb is never in the Call the Suburbs list because it doesn't deserve to be. He was like, oh, my God, imagine if. And I was like, as if.

Ice creams. It's got that park at the end of it. It doesn't get the through traffic at Ponsonby. People just do drugs and sort of huff spray paint. Maybe back in the day. They're a class here. It's been gentrified, Hayley. People aren't huffing paint anymore.

They're doing cocaine. Oh, wow. They're doing cocaine. Goodness me. Goodness me. And number one on the list of the top six suburbs better than Ponsonby from around New Zealand. I had to look this one up because I didn't know its name. I just knew where in Christchurch it was.

Summerfield in Christchurch. Yeah, it's nice. Just south of the main drag. Yeah, my friends live there. Yeah, Summerfield. That's why I was thinking for livability. Pretty. Summerfield.

It's got some shops nearby. It's got a lovely river river Through Or a stream through A few parks A cemetery So you can be buried there too Because that's where It all ends up hey That's what I look for

When I'm choosing a suburb Yeah Can I be buried here Can I be buried here You can be buried anywhere That is today's top six A guy called Oliver Who I've only heard Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

A guy called Oliver, who I've only heard 12 seconds of this guy. Right. But I already like him. He works in a retail setting and he's gone viral for this. My name is displayed right here and it's like a nice thing to do maybe. To be like, oh, thank you, Oliver. I hate when people know my name. Please don't read it.

You already can see me and that's like more than I want. Oh, Oliver. I love reading those names to them on their name tags. Thank you Sandy. And so this has like kicked it all off online because people that work in hospital or any kind of customer job with a name tag say they hate it.

They always do. Well, you think you're being friendly, right? Yeah. And you're like, oh, hey, Oliver, thanks. Yeah, and you just flick down to their chest, oh, thank you, Carl, and you're like, oh, I like it. Well, Producer Jared, you worked at Pack and Save many years ago. I did.

Congrats. Name tag? Yep, big name tag. Did you like it or hate it? No, I was not a fan. They'd be like, oh, thanks for that, Jared. And I'm like, mm. Oh, really?

It would always catch me off guard. Like, wait, how do you know me? And then I'd be like, oh, I'm wearing a name tag. Do I know you? Yes. Because if you ever said that to someone and then they're quite startled that you've used their name and then it takes them a second to realise.

So you don't like it, Jared. I always thought it was a really friendly, personable thing to do. Jared has sent us a photo of his pack and save named. Oh, my God. Obviously, this was like a... It's got your photo on it. It was like how you workplaces have with a photo ID. Jared, checkout operator.

Yeah, pretty cool, man. Pretty cool. And they'd say Yeah. Pretty cool, man. Pretty cool. And they'd say, oh, thanks, Jared. And you'd kind of like be like, oh, no problem, Dave. Yeah. John. No problem. Oh, okay.

So you don't like being at odds with not being able to say their name back to them. Yeah. Pretty much. It's just, I just felt awkward as I do most times. Right. I mean, yeah. I mean, that's you, isn't it? But yeah, so people, most people apparently not for it.

Oh, I apologise. I love a little, you know I love to, I'm quick to get personal. I'm quick to touch an arm. I'll stop like that. She's a bit touchy. Oh my gosh, stop, and I'll just touch an arm. She's a theatre child. I'm a woman of physical connections, darling.

I'll go a theatre child. I'm a woman of physical connections, darling. I'll go a step further. Jared, you'd pack my groceries and instead of saying thank you, Jared, I'd grab you by both shoulders. So you're doing a great job, mate. I'm having a barbecue this weekend. Come on over. Oh, cool. If you could just maybe leave a customer compliment form at the self-serve checkout.

It's also 20 cents if you touch the checkout operator. Oh, is it? Like the bags cost a bit extra. It's also 20 cents. Yeah, I checkout operator Like the bags cost a bit extra It's also 20 cents I'm happy to pay Happy to pay Good You get five buys

Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Fletchvorn and Hayley Silly little po Silly little po It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little silly That silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Today's silly little pole. Is it a red flag if somebody lives at home? So, I don't know, you meet someone, you go out on a date, and they're like, I still live at home. I honestly, depending on age, not at all anymore.

It's insane. I assume my daughters are going to go to uni and then come back for a bit. And then go overseas. No, don't come back. I left at 18 straight after high school. I never went back. But you think how much everything costs. I literally never talked to my father again.

I ignored his calls. Why did you do that? I just sort of wanted my own life. I just wanted to really father again. I ignored his calls. Why did you do that? Yeah, I just sort of wanted my own life and I just wanted to really separate myself. And then I went off and I'm mad at the things I did.

I know. The people I did. The things I did. Oh my God. I really put myself in some position. I'm lucky to be alive. Yeah.

I'm kidding. I'll love you to the day you die. It's so... It's insane. Yeah, this is how good the last leaders debate, Christopher Luxon was like, his weekly grocery bill was $65. Yeah. They don't even let you in unless you're going to spend $100.

This is my experience. So Mike's like, wait, wait, how much do you plan on spending? I'm just grabbing a couple of things. A couple of things better cost you over $100, mate. Yeah. Always. I promise. I see chips and dip. A couple of things better cost you over a hundred bucks, mate. Yeah. Always. I promise. I said chips and dip.

Yeah. Well, that better be some good dip. You better be buying some bananas that you didn't intend to buy when you were here

but then you look at the receipt when you leave and you're like, bananas for $9. What? Yeah, it is insanely expensive

so you can see why people aren't living at home. I don't think I've ever had a hookup and gone to someone's house and they've lived at home. I don't think I've ever had a hookup and gone to someone's house and have lived at home. Have you?

I have. I was led to believe it was not. Oh, no, that's even worse. Just own it. Be like, hey, heads up. It was volume up. We'll say that. Oh, no.

And then in the morning. Vaughn is a passionate lover. I am such a passionate lover. He's a passionate lovemaker. And I also like to return. I like to let you know you're doing a good job. Thank you. With some vocal feedback.

His vocal feedback. Meem, thank you. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Although Vaughn. Encouragement from the cheap seats. Vaughn does take it quite far and he does actually have a feedback form. Yeah.

Yeah, he does. He also, his vocal encouragement is very like, it's up. Yeah, yeah.. Also, his vocal encouragement is very like, yeah, it's up. Yeah, yeah. I was the original. Yeah, he's the original. People put a lot of that down to Japanese culture, but no, no, I was the original. Yeah.

Well, the results. So yuck. Oh, well, how I know, how I knew it was the family home was there was a knock on the door in the morning. I was like, are you coming to church? Hey, shut up. Shit you not. Shut up.

Hey, shit you not. Shut up. Did you go to church? Did you go to church? Did you go to church? I heard. She said, I'll come later. Yeah, you will.

Anyway, carry on. Carry on. Stop it. Do you know I literally had a dream last night that we said naughty things on air and Ross sat here and then he pulled the plug on the radio and was like, stop it!

Really? And now it's happening. And now it's, yeah, real life. Well, the results from our silly little poll. Is it a red flag if someone still lives at home? 44% of people said yes. 56% of people said no, it is not a red flag. Wow, split.

Did you think it would be a lot more red flag? Yeah, I voted red flag, but I'm also, you know, heading in my 30s. Depends age says bronte if they're in their 20s that's fine 30s you're starting to be a little wary as to why they're still there yeah uh steph says no but a massive red flag if they live at home and don't drive and they're 30 and they ask you to buy them Maccies. They don't even call it Maccas. Maccies. Maccas.

I call it non-e's. I call it non-e's. Claiming I've never heard of the word famine before, and that I've made it up, and this is not my worst first date by a long shot. Wait, wait. Oh, this is real. She was talking about a famine.

And they said, never heard the word before. I think you've made that up. What's famine? Jeez. They don't drive. Continue by me, Mac Cave. Did you accidentally go on a date with a child?

Sounds like a child in a man's coat. It was that three children on each other's shoulders and he refused to take his coat off. What's a famine? Do we always have Macies?

I eat four happy meals. Four. Katie says, yes, I scoff as I sit in my nice warm bed at my parents' house with a cup of tea delivered by my mum. But I swear it's temporary. See, this is why you don't have kids. You never can get rid of them.

I know. They're always like, 18. You're like, no, no, man. Can I borrow some money? Yeah, man. Hannah said, it's not a red flag because my dad is cool and one night stands should be honoured to meet him. Oh, meet dad. Meet him?

No, no, no. Jesus. Imagine that. You're just like sneaking out and you come around the corner and there's a man being like, and your name is? Oh my God. Tell me. Mikael says, depends if it's to save money or have mommy to do their washing.

That's a big difference there. And that's a really good point, actually. Yeah, true. Aiden says, my now wife and I lived with our parents until we were 22 and went straight from there into our first home, which we managed to buy

because we'd saved enough money. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's good. You've got to do that. Or if you're going over in your OE, you know, pack up your flat, jump in with mum and dad for a little bit, save some money.

Yeah. Pop off. Amelia says, where else are they supposed to live? In their own abode. Yeah. I think she was being funny that we are saying lives at home, where she's like, a home.

Oh, stop it. You're being silly. What was her name? It is a silly little poll though. Oh, actually. She's being silly. She's being a little silly. No, she's being little and silly.

We'll absolutely allow it. That is today's silly little poem. I eat almost next to anything now. I'm not fussy. I can eat spice. I can eat seafoods. But I used to be, and even Aaron says it now, he's like, I can't believe how much food you eat.

Types of food. Variety of food. He'd lose a head if he said that. He knows better than I do. Well, does he? Does he? Well, the types of food, because even when I met him, I was a bit more limited.

Yeah. And really expanded over the last 13 years. But as you get older, you do kind of, your taste buds do change, don't they? Because there are things I would never have eaten as a teenager or in my 20s. Totally sushi. I didn't even like that. I was like, oh, fishy. But when I was a kid, when we'd go to Pizza Hut, I didn't eat the pizza. I didn't like pizza. I'd go straight to the dessert bar. No pizza. Oh, no, you're not allowed to go to the dessert bar until you've had the pizza.

No, no, no. My parents are a little bit liberal at the table. Would you just eat all the mousse? All the mousse, all the sprinkles, all the jelly. Any jelly or mousse left? Yeah. Because this hungry child. Son of a gun.

Yeah, and then if we went to a restaurant, I would always just get chips, fries. Yeah. I would be like, oh, my God, have something else. There's a sandwich there, Hayley. No, I want chips. Now, I was called for dinner. Yeah. Like, have something else. There's a sandwich there, Hayley. No, I want chips. Oh, God. Now, I was called for dinner?

Yeah. Like normal dinner at home? Particularly for dinner. Oh, no, no, no. I'd eat what my mum made me at home. Right, okay. But she... So you were just a super brat when you went out.

No, but I've said this before, men, because they were always doing Jenny Craig, so they'd have their frozen meals. My brother didn't eat chicken and I didn't eat red meat, so my mum used to make three different dinners. Wow. Spoiled. Rotten.

Now, I was called Fussy, but this is terrible. There's a boy, his name's Rocco. Love that name. Do you remember Rocco's Modern Life? Modern Life, yes. Oh, my God, so good. So many drugs from those creators, surely. Called a Fussy Boy.

He's eight years old. He lived on chocolate bars, Nutella and Pringles. That's it. And Nesquik milk. That is it. That is his pyramid. I'm sorry, that's bad parenting. For sure.

We would have just... Terrible, terrible parenting. No, but it's called... There's a diagnosis for it because I've watched docos on this before. Not enough hiding? Yeah. I was just about to say,

in thorough need of a smack on the ass. Anti-smack law. Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. Where, yes, you've been led to the path of allowing them to eat only there, but it gets so bad that even the thought of other food would make him vomit. He would scream. He'd be nauseous. Well, you can't vomit forever.

I'll tell you. You tell me, and I'll tell you what my dad would say. I'm going to be sick. Well, you can't be sick forever. Yeah. Making me upset. Well, we're all be sick forever. Yeah. Make me upset. Well, we're all upset at different times, aren't we? So get on with it and stop being upset.

I don't like it. It makes me feel funny inside. Oh, does it? Well, I'll tell you what else is about to make you feel funny. And then he'd get his belt off. Out in one fluid motion. We just weren't allowed to leave the table until we'd eaten. That or you'd just starve.

80s kids. Trigger warning. Oh yeah. That was a good bout. My dad never smacked me with a bout, but he'd always do that. The clip. It'd never go through with that. It explains a lot.

It does. You've got big poor follow through from parents energy. My smack would be like grab the hand and be like little smack on the hand.

Oh my God, is that it? God, you need to come and people get out the catering size glad wrap. She'd bloody whack a kid with that.

Kid whacking ass with that and the wooden spoon which she still has. Every time I go home she's still got the wooden spoon. Well, she wants to keep you on your toes, even in your 40s.

She needs you to know to be on your best behaviour and eat what's on your plate. Little Rocco O'Brien from Ipswich, who could only eat. Ipswich, Brisbane or Ipswich, UK? UK. His avoidant restrictive food intake disorder was cured with hypnotism. I know lots of people that have cured things with hypnotism. I tried it with the MOTHs.

It didn't work. It didn't work. It worked for a while. It's not as bad as it used to be. Like, I'm not crying. Really? Okay. Is hypnotism the modern smack on the ass?

It could be. Softer approach. Because every time my dad gets out his bout now, I go, Now he can eat ten more foods. Ten? Okay. Do you know what he introduced first?

A nagi. Oh, okay. Yeah, nice. Chicky nagi. Look. Of course, an essential food group. It's a food disorder. You know, he's developed this terrible thing.

The poor thing. He wants to eat more. Now here he is holding an apple. He's having apples. Is he holding an apple? Is he eating it or holding it? Well, he's posing like that. The poor thing. He wants to eat more. Now here he is holding an apple. He's having apples. Is he eating it or holding it? He's posing like that. So it has worked and he can eat actual fruit and vegetables. Yeah, he can eat fruit and vegetables

and some meats now. And he still eats a few of the things but the mum is like, you know, trying to restrict on that. Right, we're going... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. So there they are with the foods and the Nutella and that. Right, we're going... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. So there they are with the foods and the Nutella and whatnot. Anyway, I want to know if you're a fussy eater,

whether or not it was like an extreme... Mum looks like the sort of person that talks to her child very loudly in public. Right, yeah, yeah. They're the worst. Rocco! Rocco! Five minutes till we're leaving, Rocco!

Put it down, Rocco! Oh, for God's sake, Rocco. Come over next quick. I want to know if you are a fussy eater, whether or not it was like as a kid, you were just like stream, could only eat a few things, or if like even now as an adult,

you're like. Well, old producer Anna Henbest. Old chicken singlet. Full name and shame. Full name and shame. She, yeah yeah she was like was she fussy oh dude

yeah I didn't even notice it was more more like growing up when she was a kid but even as an adult occasionally she'd eat something and be like

this is the first time I've ever eaten this it's like porridge how bizarre well maybe that's you maybe you've grown up like this but even it just blows my mind now

that adults can be that fussy. Like, you can understand it as a kid because, you know, maybe you're not mature with the palates and the flavours. Yeah, totally. But some adults are just like, no, I can't do it. Oh, I can't do fish. Can't do that. Can't do this.

Can't eat chicken. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Are you a super, super fussy eater? Because there's a kid who had to get hypnotised because he could only eat Nutella, salted Pringles, dairy milk, Cadbury chocolate and Nesquik milk. Isn't that every kid's dream dinner? Yeah.

I mean, I'll say the kid looks sickly. Like, thank God he's been hypnotised and can eat 10 more foods, including fruit and vegetables, which is good. God, my God, how would he poop? What would he poop? He poops like once a week.

Nuggets. Oh, dry, chocolate nuggets. Like goat poos. Yes, yes, yes. Dropping. Kalia, good morning. This is your brother that's a fussy eater. Yes, he is. He's an extremely fussy eater. Yes, he is.

He's an extremely fussy eater. So what does he eat? He doesn't really do foods with like sauces or anything. It has to be really plain. So when we go out, it's got to be like some meat and cheese on the burger or just cheese on the pizza. I just wouldn't take him out. As a parent, I just wouldn't take my kids out if they were like that. Worse than going out with a vegan friend for dinner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just like plain food? Very much so. And then it can't touch when we cook at home. It's probably not so much when we go out, but it can't touch. He just doesn't like it to be touching. Is he white? Yeah.

That's a white person. You're right. White people love a plain food. They love a plain food that hasn't touched any other plain foods. So he couldn't do a butter chicken. My peas touched my potatoes. He couldn't do a butter chicken because of the sauce. Yeah, and spice.

Like, yeah, we're very white. Butter chicken, mate. It isn't spice. It's cream. Yeah. Oh, my God. You know, mate. It isn't spice. It's cream. Oh my God, you know how I talked about the lemon honey butter chicken

that I talked about? One of our listeners who is Indian messaged me and was like, for shame. I apologise. That's not the F word I was expecting

from our Indian listeners about lemon honey butter chicken. Kalia, thank you. Let's go to Kaya. Kaya, your sister is a Fasieta? Kaya. Oh, thank you. Let's go to Kaya. Kaya, your sister is a fussy eater? Kaya.

Oh, Kaya. Oh, sorry, Kaya. Yeah, my sister is an extremely fussy eater. She will pretty much only eat carbs and pork. Carbs? It's not a sausage roll. Yeah, basically. But, like, that's all she'll eat.

She's getting better now, but we used to have to sit at the table for hours while she'd eat. Well, there's no reason you should all have been punished for her. You can all go and enjoy fun things. That makes her jealous. And she'll eat it up. And she'll eat it quicker. Yeah, she just didn't like...

If she didn't like the look of it She would not eat it Yeah, you just make up your mind It just gets in your head You're like, nah, I'm not doing that Kaya Kaya Kaya We all had a look of confusion on our face

Were you near a train level crossing? Yeah Yeah, maybe Yes I thought she was like flying a plane I could hear the bells Yeah No, it was the bells

I was like, it's the bells Thank you, Kaya Abby, you're a Fasiedu Your sister is. Morning. Morning. My sister. Just want to say, Hayley Sprout, big fan.

Need you in my morning. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Let's cut the boys off. I actually was just telling Hayley before she's got big energy this week. Let's hang out. I do. I do.

The boys. Fletch is telling me that I've literally been flirting with everyone I come across this week. And now I've turned my energy into you. The other day at the gym, all the girls were just like, oh. I know. I was on fire. I feel like she's your bestie, you know?

She's like your bestie on the radio. Oh, yeah. You just friend zoned me so quickly. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, Abby. Don't give her a big head. Abby, what can't your sister eat?

So, basically, any food with colour. So, she will only eat, she will only eat, like, sushi. She'll have the rice with the chicken, but no skin. She'll peel the seaweed off, and like, yeah, she basically grew up,

same lunchbox, every day for our whole lives. Like, a marmite sandwich, some shapes and some Pringles. God, that's beige, man. That's so beige. And carb, heavy. But you've got to cut all the skin off. She can be colour. So she didn't grow out of it.

How old is your sister now? No, she's 30. Oh, dear. She's peeling the sushi. I will add, she does have Down syndrome, so that is like a thing, but she's like... But is that part... Yeah, right.

It's not part of it. It's not really part of it, but she'll just no colour in her food. Nothing. Wow. She'll eat plain pasta. What about greens? What about greens? Does she eat like broccoli or... Nope. I don't know if you could cut the middle out and it had no green on it. Like, no. I'm concerned

for your sister's poops. Again, I'm concerned for the poops. It's all these people that are pooing. It's the hard part. Very hard. Abby, thank you so much for your call. Caroline, you are getting your son hypnotised next week. Whoa. Yes, we're doing it to our six-year-old. So this

is exactly like the story. So is this the avoidant food thing? Restricted food intake disorder, yeah. Wow, tell us more about it because it's a proper thing. It's not just, it turns from being a fussy kid right into like a bigger problem. Yeah, so he never

ate, like, ate like a baby, all fine, but then as soon as we started solids, he just wouldn't eat it. That's a problem. So he currently eats Oreos, pretzels, red Doritos and he's on weight gaining drinks every day.

Wow! But he's like a normal sized child and he looks fine. He just is rotting a little bit. What would happen if you tried to give him some chicken and broccoli? He would not eat it.

Wow. He just wouldn't. He wants to eat because sometimes he'll ask for carrots or something, but as soon as it goes into his mouth, he full on gags. So he just physically can't do it? Physically can't do it. Have you tried, like, making a chicken chocolate shake in the blender? I kind of like them, but I don't know what I want to do.

Yeah, don't do that to your poor child. While he's under, will you get some other stuff done? Yeah, make him, like, make his bed. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about. Have some respect for your mother. And where do your shoes go? Yes. Nicely beside the door, not in front of the door.

Pick up the wet towels. And you can fall asleep real fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're 18, you will not do drugs. Yeah, and you love maths. Yes. Remember? Woo.

Well, fascinating. I would love a follow-up, Caroline, about how it goes because the hypnotism thing is just fascinating for this kind of behavioural stuff. Yeah, definitely. He's got three sessions, so I'll let you guys know. Oh, good luck. Good luck to him and to you.

Cool, thanks, guys. So interesting. Also, long-time listeners. Oh, I can feel it. That was so lucky. We nearly missed. We nearly missed you there. Thank you, Caroline.

Send us a message, follow-up with us. Yes, please. Good luck. We nearly missed. We nearly missed you there. Thank you, Caroline. Send us a message. Follow up with us. Yes, please. Good luck. Text messages. I knew a kid that would only eat dry, uncooked couscous with tomato sauce. That's a dry. That's very dry.

Couscous. That's very dry. Such an odd choice of carbohydrate to just only have. How would you even swallow it? You'd be like. just only have. How would you even swallow it? But then wouldn't it expand in your tummy when it got water in it? Yeah. My 17-year-old son won't eat most things.

Burgers, just cheese and sauce. Hates all veggies. Won't even eat hot chips. Oh, no. Hot chips is the only way he ever eats a vegetable. Oh, okay. He's been fussy since he started eating. Vegetable in quotations. He is.

What is the rickets? Your rickets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your vitamins. And the scurvy. That's the other thing. Like, there are a whole lot of reasons we've got to eat a variety of things. Yeah, totally.

Scurvy and rickets, for example. My mother-in-law will only eat chicken breast, instant porridge, apples, and candy. I mean, thank God for the apples. Yeah, it was pretty dry otherwise. Yeah. My partner loves tomatoes. Not even a Thai sweet chilli? No.

Well, that'll be too hot. Oh, God, no, are you kidding me? That's blow. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. This, well, probably when you break it down comes absolutely no surprise. Fast walkers live longer than dawdlers. Is it because of the cardiovascular benefits?

Yeah, it totally is. They're just pounding the footpath. So whatever they're doing, they're getting a cardiovascular sort of workout. In the meantime, they're not plodding. I could be going on a daudley walk and I'll still walk fast. Yeah, man. But you're a fast walker too.

Yeah, I am. But even I, I'm a fast walker. I hate being blocked on the footpath. But even I have to do a couple of little trots to keep up with Fletch. And I have to do a couple of little trots to keep up with Aaron, simply based on his gait.

Yeah, whereas Vaughn, you're dragging him along on a leash. Yeah, you're not a slow... Yeah, you're medium paced. I'm a medium pacer. I'll just walk. A plodder. I'm kind of thinking about stuff while I'm walking. Considering things.

Yeah. So brisk and average walkers are associated with lower rates of deaths related to cardiovascular disease, cancer and other causes compared to slow walkers. But then, I mean, this all makes very basic sense. If you walk slower, you might be carrying a bit more. Yeah. Weight, and that's also linked

to all of these sorts of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we putting this in the category of the study we didn't really need? Correct, yeah. We're putting this in the category of Dr. Jonathan Goldney phoning it in. Do you know, I just read a study that said that people that drink water

are more likely to live than those that don't drink water. Really? I read that study. I was going to bring it up, actually. Fascinating stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I put you're less likely to die from a skydiving accident

if you don't go skydiving study. Oh. I'm actually releasing it next week. Well, I don't want to go too far into it. Oh! I'm actually releasing it next week. I don't want to go too far into it. We're in the final parts of putting together our doctorate. Yeah. It's called People Can't Fly. Wow.

That was in relation with Canterbury University, that you teamed up with them for that. Yeah, I did. We got an insane amount of funding. Wow. I read this crazy study the other day. People who wear shoes are less likely to get dirty feet due to the soil on the ground. And I was like, trying to break down the science of it.

Like, how? And what they did is they researched 2,000 people, half of which wore shoes and walked through mud, and half of which just had bare feet. And I think it was like the study said that the majority of people who walked through the mud with bare feet had dirtier feet than those that were wearing shoes at the end of it. But there was a relatively high proportion of mums screaming

don't come in here like that to both. Yeah, yeah. Oh, every time that was the kind of constant. Yeah, yeah. That's good. that's good that's good to know that that remains constant yeah i actually just released this study in conjunction with this going on for with resin paints oh beautiful it's called don't drink this and it turned out because it looked a little bit like a milkshake some people were drinking some

of the more um you know vibrant colors you i know you've probably you've been painting so i'm imagining you're fighting the urge probably the only thing stopping you is you don't want to run out of paint on the walls if you that's the only reason are you not supposed to drink you're not supposed to drink it well my study said that you don't drink it what i know this happened because i was in a resin and i said can i get a test pot in the um vanilla and they were like oh vanilla is very popular in the white range and then i opened the lid and i went yeah and they're like sir no oh my god we didn't warn you you're not supposed

to drink that's why you've done a study i did a study with them fantastic yeah don't drink this i read a study recently that said um people breasts are 100 times more likely to wear bras than people without breasts. Yeah, crazy. And I was like, I had no idea. Was this following up your auga auga breast study? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That 100% of women hate it when you go up to them and go auga auga. That was what the study found.

To be honest, I just don't think you had enough test subjects because I've met a couple that did like it. Yeah, really? Really. Send me their details. I'll do a follow up. It was just on a bus. I don't know. I did a study that was

how much of a percentage of Vaughan is a pest and it was 100%. It was high. It was high. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, it's been a big complaint about Airbnbs.

Since Airbnbs were a thing. Yeah. You finish your stay at an Airbnb. And then you walk away. You get in the car, you walk away. You walk away. But a lot of Airbnbs have a checkout checklist. Do the dishes.

Put the trash in the bin. Take the sheets off the bed. Vacuum the house. Take out the rubbish. Yeah. But when you... Or take your rubbish with you? Yeah.

So now I'm on holiday with a boot full of bottles and trash? There was a woman in America, she tweeted out on Feb 4 about how she paid $185 US dollar cleaning fee on her Airbnb and then she got a one star

or a shitty review saying you didn't vacuum when you left. Oh, vacuum? No, no, no. And she's like, we didn't vacuum, but we did strip the beds and we also took the trash to the local trash centre, wherever that is. Yeah, yeah, totally. Like down the road or whatever when they left.

Now the head of Airbnb for Australia and New Zealand, Susan Wheeler, has said that guests should not have to strip the bed, do the laundry or vacuum when leaving Airbnbs. There's stuff you do as a courtesy. Like I'll often take the towel, like if we're in a house or something in Airbnb, take the towels and put them in the washer, but I'm not going to turn it on because... Or make a pile in the bathroom or something.

Yeah, like on the floor or something. She did add, they said... I'm still not sure about that. What? Shush, Siri. Siri, you're not part of this chat. It's not Rich, Vaughn, Hayley and Siri. She's reporting you to Airbnb. So Susan also added,

we do think it's reasonable to ask guests to turn off the lights, throw food in the rubbish and lock the doors, just like they would when leaving their own home. Yeah, I just think it rubbish, and lock the doors, just like they would when leaving their own home. Yeah, I just think it's BS, because that cleaning fee, there's a service fee, and a cleaning fee, and a this fee, and a that fee, and it's like... I'm not paying like $50 or $100

cleaning fee, and then doing all the cleaning. But then I'll never leave, like even a hotel room, I'll still make a pile of towels in the bathroom. I'll put all my rubbish in the bin. If I've soiled the sheets, you know, I'll strip them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, make a pile of towels in the bathroom I'll put all my rubbish in the bin if I've soiled the sheets you know I'll strip them yeah yeah make a pile

just to hide your own shame more than anything oh my god if you were a hotel room cleaner and someone stripped the sheets you'd be like instantly what have they done

I remember eating a chocolate mousse in the bed of a hotel and it slopping onto the sheet and then I literally had to write a note and left it with an arrow pointing to it saying

this is not shit. This is mousse. No, that just sounds like a lie now. I was almost like, sniff it, it's chocolate. But then you're like, don't sniff it. I reckon I'm two weeks away from a bathroom being finished. And after nine months I'm one week away from a bathroom being finished. After nine months of no bathroom.

After nine months, I'm one week away from having a toilet. I like to remove the I from toilet. It's how it's best said. Are you removing the I or are you putting three more I's in it? Toilet. Toilet. No, the O's. I'm putting more O's and removing the I.

That would be toilet. Tor. I'm going to put an R in. Toilet. Sure. Toillet. Tor. I'm going to put an R in, toilet. Sure. There you go. Okay. Toilet.

Anyway, so yesterday was a big day because the tiles in the shower were finished. And we went in there to just have a little looky and, you know, feel it out. It's a big shower. Big shower. We're both jumping in it and whatnot, looking at the tiles. And then the white tiles on the ground, green on the wall, light grout on the ground, dark on the wall. And I was talking about, oh man, you know, we have to keep this clean. We're going to keep it clean, you know, we don't want mildew rising.

And then we were talking about the little, you know, the cubbies, built-in cubbies in the wall. Oh, yeah. You need like re-baited, re-gressed. Yeah, recessed. Recessed. Thank you. Cubbies. And I was like,

well, you know, you're going to put just your nice shampoos there in bottles I'll buy so that we don't have, you know, Lynx Africa or Rixona for men in my gorgeous shower.

Oh my God, yeah. You can't spend all that money on a renovation and then have one of Vaughan's body wash bottles. I know. And then like whatever's herbal essence is on sale. Wait a minute.

I was about to leap to the defense of Lynx Africa for comical value. And then you said one of Vaughan's body washes? Yeah. You're not buying a bottle that goes with a decor. I don't buy a bottle. Do you buy a body wash that is just for men? No. Dove.

No, we use the stuff Sharns buys. Yeah, Aaron does. I'm assuming it's very expensive. Because I buy skin sensitive stuff because I'm a delicate little flower. And he's just like, well, I won't use your expensive stuff. He just dips his hands in cold water surf. Yeah, yeah. Exfoliates, cleans, and makes them smell like fresh laundry.

He stocked up on St. Ives apricot scrub before they banned the coarseness of it. Why did they ban the coarseness of it? That was the world's best face scrub no hon if you went under a light you have small abrasions from that thing

perfect that's how I like to live no no no anyway gif for the face gif for the face have they seriously discontinued the foot scrub

I think they've lightened it because it used to be microplastics and then they made it to apricot shell yeah yeah yeah apricot stones and then I think they've lightened it because it used to be microplastics and then they made it to apricot shell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, apricot stones. And then I think they've lightened it again because it was ripping your face apart.

Anyway, I was talking about how we're going to display our shampoos and whatnot. I said most of our shampoos are going to be going into the vanity. I said because, you know, I use different shampoos during the week. I'll use a strengthening shampoo one day, a bond repairing shampoo, and then I use a blonde shampoo, which is purple, right? Because it stops your hair from going brassy. And Aaron was like, ah, no, no. I said, what?

He said, you're not using purple shampoo in the shower. I was like, excuse me? He was like, it's going to stain. It's going to be your shower. Yeah, I know. It doesn't stain. It doesn't stain. It doesn't stain.

But he thinks that the purple, because it tones your hair and kind of semi-dyes your hair, is going to dye our floor. And I said, oh, it won't stain. He said, no, I don't want any. No dye, nothing. Because once, one time, Aaron, I was getting my hair dyed brown and I was sitting against the table, sitting at the table like this. And I went, ha, ha, ha, laughed, leaned back, bushed the wall with my brown hair dye, wiped it off. It was fine.

But he was just like, never let it go. So I'm not allowed to get my hair dyed at the house. wiped it off. It was fine. But he was just like, never let it go. So no, I'm not allowed to get my hair dyed. Right. At the house. Even though like Shari comes over and she does my hair and whatnot. That's done.

Was this done? We can't do that anymore. Oh wow. And I'm not allowed to use my own purple shampoo. So I'm just going to have yellow hair. Or I've got to go to the gym to tone my own hair. So I've got this shower

that I can't tell you how much money I've spent on this. And I'm not even allowed to use it to wash my own hair. Just I've got this shower that I can't tell you how much money I've spent on this and I'm not even allowed to use it to wash my own hair. Just googling to see if this problem in the Middle East is solved. Still going actually. I am voicing my problems right now. Do you know what? Well let me really tell you

the hitter here. I said to him like well how am I going to keep my blonde going? He said you might have to just go back to brunette. He has no idea how longunette. He has no idea how long this took. He has no idea the journey I've been on to be this blonde. Is the conflict still going?

Still going. Yeah. Yeah, the conflict is still going in our house too. Russia, Ukraine, that's still going. Yeah, well, courtesy sprout,

that's still going. This just in, Pacific Island's still very real danger of climate change just going on. For one, I might have to go

brunette again. Really puts it in perspective, doesn't it? Three whales that washed up. They had traces of microplastic. Were they blonde or brunette? Pump back. So a woman on TikTok has shared one of the most embarrassing moments she's had with her mum.

She said, every now and then, I think about the time when a guy I went on a date with screenshotted a follow request from my mum and text me saying, is this your mum five minutes after I left our first date? Because she didn't know how Instagram worked. So she would have gone on the phone to her mum and been like, I just went on a date. Yeah, it was really nice. What's his name?

The mum would have gone, look up, great, follow. And he would have been like, same surname, Patsy Sproul. Is this your mum? What? No. Mum. Oh, you would want to die. So embarrassing. You would just have to disappear off the face of the planet, right? You're never seeing that guy again.

Yeah, you'd be like, yes, that is my mum. It was a lovely date. Thank you. Nice to have met you. Goodbye. I'm just going to move to Rome. I guess it's the only option here. Good old mum.

Oh, my mum would do this. My mum is a massive stalker. Wait, not five minutes after a date, though. I know, because I've clearly left the date and rung my mum. You know what I mean? Yeah. And mum's been like, oh, let's have a look at him. Oh, he's lovely.

He's gorgeous. Tall. Oh, follow. No, mum, no. Not even thinking, because you didn't know it. Yeah. My mum's very quick to do stuff like this. But he had a private account.

Suspicious. Well, no, it's just protecting your privacy, isn't it? But what's the point of Instagram if you want it to be private? I don't understand private accounts. The whole thing is to show you that my life is better than yours. That's what we're doing here. We're squashing down all the crap and all the sort of dark days and we're just showing the highlights and being like,

this is my life every day. It's better than yours. That's Instagram. Yeah, it's not causing any problems at all, is it? No, not at all. No, no, no. Not unrealistic expectations of how a life works and how a body is supposed to function. I can't see any societal backlash to this. No, I's not causing any problems at all, is it? No, not at all. Not unrealistic expectations of how a life works, how a body is supposed to function. I can't see any societal

backlash to this. No, I can't see it. Looking for it. I can't see nothing else in themselves. Unrealistic expectations of themselves and then whether they don't reach those expectations and are living life like a Kardashian at that age, they won't sort of sulk into some sort of depression. I can't see that

ever happening. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, want to know um we want to know when your parent embarrassed you like this like in a way that you just like probably as an adult as well where you're like oh my god mom stop now i don't i feel like it's the other way around for my parents i mean yesterday we talked about my mom getting a bit of bloody fanny laser and she was like, why are people messaging me about this? What are you saying? And I was like, look, it got out of hand, Patsy. And here we are. So I think I embarrass my parents more than they embarrass me.

Are you looking forward to embarrassing your girls when they become teenagers and adults? One day, he does it now. To a currently engaged in a vicious cycle of embarrassment. It's every time Vaughn says, pop off, no cap, and all that kind of stuff, and the girls are like, drop me off in the corner.

Yeah. I dropped August off at a birthday party, and as I was driving away, I rolled down the window and pretended to cry, saying, I miss you so much. I miss you so much. Can I please stay at the party? Can I come to the movie with you and your friends? Was she just like, I hate you?

And she just turned away And was just like Turned her head over And I said Okay I'll leave But I want you to know I love you Oh my god Oh my god

Yeah It's good stuff It is good stuff It's so much good stuff I mean some people Take it too far And I wouldn't Take it to the point

Of where the kids Were actually like I hate you Well that's It's coming It's coming Nah Cause this is I've been leading them in It's not like I'm gonna Get to the point of where the kids were actually like I hate you well that's it's coming it's coming nah because this is

I've been leading them in it's not like I'm going to get to the teens and it's going to happen this has been you know I've been immunising them against embarrassment

yeah all through their childhood yep yeah well that's what we want to know when did your parents embarrass you thoroughly

give us a call 0800 DARS at M you can text through as well the number is 9696 send your message we'll take your childhood through as well. The number is 9696. Send your message. Well, take your childhood stories as well if it's super embarrassing.

Yeah, I think it's funnier when you're an adult, right? Funnier when you're an adult. When did your parents embarrass you? They won't stop. Oh, my God. The message is coming in. I'm literally flushing with shame. We want to know when your parents embarrassed you because there was a girl who went on a first date,

rung her mum and said the date, and then the mum followed the guy on Instagram. He screenshotted, sent it to the girl being like, is this your mum? She just followed me. Five minutes after the date. Five minutes after their first date. That's a red flag. It is a bit of a red flag.

That's your future mother-in-law all going well. Oh, yeah. She crazy already. She crazy. She's just inquisitive. Give her a break, says a man who will definitely do this. 100%. When your girls start dating, you are going to be stalking that person.

Oh, even on Snapchat, I opened up the Snap Map and on his phone and I was like, and who's that and who's that and who's that and who's that and who's that and who's... This is a safety thing. I don't want my children talking to weirdos.

Of course. Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? And I that? Who's that? And I know where they all live because I've got the bloody snap maps open. Oh, my God. I've written down their address. You don't message them, though, saying, hey, I know where you live.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I do. I add them. I'm like, hey, you 11-year-old punk. I can't wait until. I know where you live. I can't wait until their first boyfriend. You're going to be so embarrassing. Yeah.

Well, if I blow my cards right, there won't be one more than the embarrassment. Hopefully a girlfriend. My dad dropped me off at a party and as he was leaving, yelled out the window, have a good time,

I hope the rash clears up. Oh, classic. Great. Dad's scaring off the boys there because they don't want the rash. Yeah. Crescenda. Crescenda, how embarrassing

was a parent? Crescenda? Crescenda? Crescenda, yeah. Crescenda. There we go. That's a lovely name. It is. Named after the Toyota Cressida? I'm older than that. You're older than the Toyota Cressida?

So technically Toyota named the Cressida after you. Definitely. 1976. Cressida. Oh no, I'm more familiar with Toyota than Shakespeare. Are you older than Shakespeare? No, thank goodness. So how embarrassing were the parents? Oh, my dad. So we were in Rio de Janeiro. Beautiful, beautiful.

Lucky. Yeah, very lucky. We walked up to the Statue of Christ and my father then proceeded to tell all the tourists in front of us to move out of the way because he wanted to take a photo in front of... Not quite how it works, Dad. Yeah, not quite how it works.

I've been to... Anyone that has been there, it's just one of those tourist spots where there are always going to be people in the photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it is packed. Why did he make such a big deal about saying his only daughter was everybody else rocking, like, six or seven daughters

and he's like, look at all these people. I don't know. I don't know. It was just my dad. But also, like, you're never going to see these people again. You were in, like, Brazil. Yeah, totally. You're out of the way, man.

Yeah. Yeah, why not? I like this energy from your dad. I do, too. Hey, thanks for your call. Taylor, this is mum that was embarrassing? Yeah, my mum and my sister, actually. Oh, both of them.

What did they do? Yeah, so pretty much I was walking home from school, I packed college at time, and walking home, and then before my mum and sister left the house, I ended up dressing up, like I'm talking wigs, paint on this whole body, like dressed up like gangsters. And then I'm walking home, and paint on their whole body, like, dressed up like gangsters. And then I'm walking home, and then I see them walking towards me. And I'm like, oh, my God, like, that is my sister and that's my buddy.

What are they doing? And they were, like, almost trying to, like, jump me or something, like, pretending to jump me. Like, you know, like, what's up? They're dressed up like gangsters. And they were going to pretend mug you. What, like, in front of everybody from school? It was, no, no. This is like, so I got on the bus,

and I'm walking home from the bus stop. So I'm nearly home at this point. But yeah, it was so embarrassing. I crossed the road. Gangsters? That's such a funny move. It's such a funny off with them. They're bored at home, and they're like,

I know what would be funny. Let's just tell them he's dressed up like gangsters. home and they're like, I know what would be funny. Let's do something true. I'm like, yeah, I'm a bloody gay. I don't know what to do. I was just like, nah, I just pretended like I just, yeah. Yeah, I don't know you. You're not with me. Yeah, 100%.

Oh, my God. Taylor, thank you. Vanessa, how embarrassing were the parents? Hi, so it was my mum. And it was Form 2 camp So year 8 And we were going away For a week to Stewart Island

So it was a long time And we were all lined up in front of the bus And our parents were waving us off And my mum yelled out in front of everyone Have you been to the toilet Vanessa? Oh god, classic But as a parent you gotta Had you been to the toilet, Vanessa? Oh, God, classic. But as a parent, you've got to... Had you been to the toilet?

Yeah. Well, I can't remember. Exactly. Exactly, you can't remember. But you have a thing for these things. You would have worn it, though. You would have got teased for that. Oh, no, it was horrible.

Everyone just looked at me and, yeah. And then from there on Your name at high school Was Weez Yeah That's how easy It can happen Vanessa Not Vanessa The Weezer

That's how clever They would have got it Some messages My mum was going to Talk shit about Somebody's wedding photos On Facebook But instead of

Sending them to me privately She clicked on the share button And then shared yes Oh my god kill me She shared the post To her Facebook timeline and commented her private message as the caption and tagged me in.

Oh, my God. I wonder what she said. Oh, my God. Stacey looks like trash. Well, I'm imagining it wasn't nice if she started it with, she's going to talk trash about it. First day I got my period, my mum rung the whole family we had a period party for me.

Oh wow. My dad embarrassed I was sort of just like to my mum you just you just let dad and Sam know and like we're just not I don't need

I don't need anything for that. Doesn't need to be talked about. Yeah. It could just happen. My dad embarrassed me at school prize giving when he sat in the auditorium and took photos

with a disposable camera. Well, don't be embarrassed. Don't be embarrassed. I got a ticket for my award and he stood up so he could get

a better view of me and then went click and the flash went off and then you heard ret, ret, ret, ret, ret, ret. Oh, he was just proud. That's cute. Yeah,

Dad was proud of you. Also, they're back in vogue now. You know, they're very cool now. but he wouldn't have been able to see. Yeah, Dad was proud of you. Also, they're back in vogue now. You know, they're very cool now. Yeah, but he wouldn't have been able to see. No, disposable cameras. Dad's never went out of fashion. Dad's never went out of fashion.

And won't the photo be so far away because they never had a good time? I know you won't see it. Oh, yeah. My mum is an incredibly butch lesbian. Now, what a great start to a story. Love that. My mum is an incredibly butch lesbian, super short hair, and went through

the leather phase. She went through a leather phase she picked me up to school one day She went through a leather phase. She's fully into

her leather phase but she was wearing leather. Yeah. She picked me up from school one day with some of her butch lesbian friends. Everyone's like

oh your brothers are here to pick you up. I said that's not my brother that's my mum. That's my mum. That's my mum and her lesbian friends. Great. They're in a gang.

They sound like they're in a gang with leather. Lesbian leather gang. The leather lesbians. Yeah. Sign me up. The LLs. My mum constantly calls my partner my ex's name all the time and then goes, oh, I do apologise.

Makes a big scene about the mistake. He was just around for such a long time. We thought he was really part of the family at that point. Like a son I never had. Yes. At my 15th birthday, my mum had decided some of my friends were getting too friendly with their boyfriend. She bought out a box of condoms and started handing them out.

And she was known as the condom fairy from then on. Do you know what? That's embarrassing, but goddamn, that's good parenting. It is good parenting. Like, because 15 is more embarrassing to buy them than it would be to be given them out. And they're not cheap. For mum to come out like that, that's champion mumming.

Champion mumming. Just double checking. Just double checking. Anzac Day, I was chatting to a guy In the Navy This is from a female listener Okay I was chatting to a guy

In the Navy And my dad came up to us And said you need to stay away From Navy men They're all dodgy And then eyeballed The Navy guy in uniform Who eyeballed him back

And they had this weird Staunch standoff Oh god Was dad in the Like in the army Or the air force Because I know that gets a bit If you were in the army You wouldn't want your daughter Dating the guys in the army or the air force? Because I know that gets a bit. If you were in the army, you wouldn't want your daughter dating the guys in the navy.

Yeah. What do you want them to say? Hey, sea boy. Yeah. Hey, land man. And then, hey, air guy. Ah! What are you, a bird?

Some kind of bird? Men don't belong in the sky, air boy. Shut up, fish man. They belong on the ground and not in the sea. That is weird. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, my dad gets my two Māori friends confused. No, that's not James. That's why. That's not James, dude. That's why as a word. That's James. No, James is my other Māori friend. No, no, no. No, that's not James. That's why. That's not James, dude. That's why as a word. That's James. No, James is my other model. No, no.

No, no, no, no, no. That is James. I can tell he's got. Watch. It is James. Watch. James! Play.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, if you're coming to tonight's live show, get your vocal cords ready because you'll be singing the intro and outro with us. We welcome anyone and all. I don't have a fact for that yet. It is. I thought we talked about a fact for that. God. Get your vocal cords ready because you'll be singing the intro and outro with us. We welcome anyone and all. I don't have a fact for that yet. It is.

I thought we talked about a fact for that. God. You need to pay attention. You need to make it up. Oh, yeah, we have. Remember the one about the Harbour Bridge? Oh, yeah. I've got to research that.

You've got to do some research. I've got to research that. This week is Stamp Week at Fact of the Day. And we're not going to do a stamp fact at the live show because we thought that was lame. No, we didn't think that was lame. Hayley and I are just not part of the weekly programming. We are letting you have the space this week. Stamps.

And we have accepted that not everything about this world is about me and us. Yep. And that's a learning thing for me. You know, and that's a real moment of learning. Yeah, and you've taken real moment of learning. Yeah. And you've taken it on board, but Fletch still can't understand it.

How anything in this world isn't specifically for him. He's slower to things than me. It's not computing. Yeah. It's like I've got an error. Look at it. He literally, as you do the fact of the day,

he literally poises his finger. He hovers. On the mouse. To click us out to the next bar. That's very disappointing. Well, if you've been listening to Stamp Week, you'll now have heard from a stamp collector, Daniel,

who is based in New Plymouth. And boy, he has heard from people far afield. He's heard, someone messaged him saying, oh my God, I listen to this podcast. I'm in Singapore. Oh my goodness. And I've heard them touting the stamp facts. I too love stamps.

Unreal. Isn't this amazing? Have we gone big in the stamp world? Just like stamps. Fact of the day about stamps is connecting the world. As stamps did. But today's stamps, not about the stamps themselves, but the little

postmarks. You know what postmarks are? The ones that get printed, stamped over the stamp. So you can't reuse them. Yeah. Well, it's origin, really. Yeah, right. You're the first people to process it, put a stamp mark on it, right?

So you know where it came from. Yeah, that's right. But also it went over the stamp so you couldn't cheeky peel them off and use them again. But most New Zealand stamps aren't so rare, but some of our postmarks are. But for example, 100 years ago, do you know there were 100 different post offices

in the Taranaki region alone? This will shock you, Vaughan. I did not know that. How hard is it to find a bloody post office these days? It's always bunged in the back of a dairy. It's always bunged in a pharmacy. And then you can get a lotto, you can get a bag of chips,

and you can get a prescriptionto, you can get a bag of chips. Prescription. Prescription. And a couple of stamps or one of those overpriced bags to send you goodies. They bung it in the back, but then you go to get a courier bag, but the person's dispensing Stiffy Pills. Yeah, I know. And then you're waiting. Boner pills and a dollar max. No, but then they go to the counter and sell someone a Coke Zero,

and then they have to go to the other counter to sell someone some Strip Sills, and then they come to you. It's a lot. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to pay with Air Force, and they're like, not this one. Come over here. Yes. Yeah, sorry.

We're going to go around there. This is the world we live in now. We only accept check at this counter. Can I get some cash out? Because while I was waiting, I was lured in by the scratchies. And I got a real good feeling about that one. It's a different terminal for the scratchies, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wellured in by the scratchies. And I got a real good feeling about that one. It's a different terminal for the scratchies too. Oh, yeah.

Well, it depends what scratchies as well. You might even go to the pharmacist in the back if you got the scratchies. Because they bung a lotto store in places now too. Everything's bunged into something else. It's all bunged in. Bungity bung bung. Bunged in there. So there used to be 100 different post offices in Taranaki all with their own postmarts

because they didn't bung anything in. I know that. We stand alone. It was a busy time. So they all had different postmarks, and so they become collectors. The most valuable ones are the ones that were open for a very limited time. And even when the royal visit happened, a lot of stamps connected to the royal visits. 1935, there was a royal visit to New Zealand.

There was a royal train. So the train went down the old main trunk line and when they got to a place and they needed to go, then they'd have a car waiting for them and then go back and then they'd come back to the royal train. There was a special postmark for the royal train. If anybody on the train wanted to send some mail, a special

postmark. I got him. I got him. Did you see that look on his face? He likes trains. He likes trains. And now he imagines, you know what else you're imagining? They can't afford to stop all the time for the post. They hang it at the window in a bag. Oh, that's pretty cool. And they snatch it off and they pick it up and they go. That's what he's thinking of.

Well, what's today's fact then? Well, no, no. Well, I'm about to tell you at the moment for sale on Trade Me, there is a stamp here from the Royal Train. See, this is the postmark here. It says Royal Train. 10th of January. $189! That's the 10th of January.

What are you going to do with it? The 1pm pick up, and it says it was happening in New Zealand. The stamp up here, you might be thinking, that's the one that's worth it. That's trash. But that Royal postmark on there, from 1935, currently on trade Me at $189. In another universe, if we met on a hot date

and I brought you back to my place and I was like, you will never guess what I've got. And I got out the royal stamp thingy that Vaughan just showed us on Trade Me for $189. I'm getting an Uber. I'm ordering an Uber. It's ordered. I would, if I... Nah, I'm already at your house. I'm ordering an Uber. It's ordered. I would,

if I, Nah, I'm already at your house. You know, we'd go through with it. I wouldn't be staying the night. Okay. Would you not just be like, I'm all the way there.

You live quite high up in your apartment building. Someone crafts you this amazing yarn about the royal train and the 1935 visit and a special train on the tracks.

It's not doing anything for me. Your bone is gone. To be fair, on my first date with Aaron, I showed him marching and said, watch this. And he watched hours of it.

Oh. Yeah, but guys will do a lot. He got what he, you know. Yeah. I paid him the price. Yeah.

Well, he knew your timing was on. Yeah, he was like, gosh, he's got good rhythm. Yeah, she can keep a constant.

And a hell of a set of legs on it. Constant move. Constant move. Constant move. constant move, constant move. So today's fact of the day is it's not always, if you see a stamp for sale, it's not always the stamp that's the valuable part. Sometime it's the postmark from a short-lived post office. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. This could get quite emotional.

Jared, our producer Jared's been through a terrible breakup we were sharing and we thought we'd take this on air because I know I've actually been through a similar breakup and it was really heart-wrenching. Jared, I'll pass over to you. Tell us this sad story. Good morning. Oh, babe, I know, I know, it's hard. We always knew she was too good for...

Sorry? Whoa. Whoa. No, the media and I are still going strong, but we've recently moved, so I had to do the hard task of breaking up with my local dairy. Yeah, man. Yeah.

That's tough, eh? Do you know, we broke up with our fruit shop, and then he's moved to our fruit and veg. He moved to, he followed us from Te Atatuna. He missed you so much. We walked in, there was this new fruit and veg shop. I walked in, he was like, hello. I was like, what are you doing here?

He's like, I work here. I've moved, I'm here. Oh my God. I said, are you stalking us? And he laughed. He didn't say no. This could happen to you, Jared. I thought it was a pun because of broccoli stalks.

Oh, that's good. He just might not have found it funny. Yeah, not your best work. Pair with me. Oh, my gosh. That joke was appalling. I mean, he could have at least said, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

But no, no, no, no, no, I didn't follow you here. So how did you break the news to your local dairy owner? I walked in, grabbed my Red Bull packet of Grain Waves, and I said, Not cheese balls? No, they were out. If they don't have cheese balls they get the S&V grain waves. Controversial because grain waves have gone

to shit. Weird texture and they're small. Yeah, they changed years ago and I can't move past. Yeah, they got rid of the honey mustard flavour. We don't need to delve too deep into that. You're already hurting enough. I'm hurting enough. So I

grabbed my Ready B and just waltzed in and I said, look guys, it's been fun. We've had a good time. I've spent probably a bit too much money here. I've supported you single-handedly. Because every day were you buying a Ready B? Most. Yeah. I want to

say most, but no, it was every day. So you're probably top 5% customer. Yeah. They didn't know my name. I didn't know their most, but no, it was every day. So you're probably top tier, top 5% customer. Yeah, yeah. They didn't know my name. I didn't know their name, but we knew each other. Yeah, beautiful. Sometimes names just get in the way. Yeah.

Always the same people when you go in, the same person. Yeah. Big family. The owner. Oh, yeah. So I cycled through, so I got to know each member of the fam. I kind of felt like I was part of that family. Yeah.

Did you have a favourite family member? I did. He had a neck tat. He was cool. He complimented a favourite family member? I did. He had a neck tat. He was cool. He complimented my D&D jumper. Oh, he had a neck tat. And he was a nerd. And a nerd.

We've got a badass nerd. That Venn diagram, that can't be a big crossover. Slim crossover. I think you'd be surprised. Really? Yeah, well, nerds trying to make themselves a bit more intimidating more often. Nerds and virgins. Yeah, yeah.

That's quite overlapping. That's a cool to circle. I like that. It's a two-layered circle. The nerds at school were the quickest to be getting amongstgins. Yeah, yeah. That's quite overlapping. That's not a Vendor. That's a quarter circle. No, it's a two-layered circle. The nerds at school were the quickest to be getting amongst it. Nerds get freaky. Nerds get freaky. Yeah, they weren't fussy.

They were just like, let's do this. Get all dressed up and with me. Like aliens. Let me pull those circles apart. Yeah, pull them apart a little bit. Let me pull those circles well apart. Yeah, and to be honest, they actually looked a little bit disappointed that I was gone.

Yeah, man. I had to do this. When I first went flatting, I lived in Brooklyn and Wellington and we used to go down there, me and my flatmate Louie, and we were so broke and when we didn't have money they'd just let us get food and they'd be like, you can just pay us back, you're all good

because they knew that we were flatting on our own. And then when I moved from there, I was like, we're off. He was like, oh my god, I wish you all the best. Do you want to settle the tab or are you... Nah I was like, we're off. He was like, oh, my God, I wish you all the best. Do you want to settle the tab? No, babes, we're off. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Do you find humour attractive in people?

Of course. I sort of don't. I'm like, I'm the funny one here. Right, so you see it as competition. Yeah, I don't know if I've ever dated really funny men. I've dated like social men and like, you know, Aaron's a great actor and a performer and he's very funny, but not like.

He's got a good sense of humour. He's got a great sense of humour and he's very funny, but not in a comedic way. Whereas like my brain constantly looking out for a gag, looking out for a gag, looking out for a funny observation, looking out for a quip at any moment. I couldn't be with that. That's intolerable to me.

So you're saying you couldn't date yourself. It's just a good balance to have the laugher and the laugh maker. Totally. I think. And being the laugh maker, I'm not. A sense of humour is important, but being funny is not

super important to me okay well this study because we've done research before right we haven't done the research we've reported

on the research that a sense of humour is up there with like hot body good face yeah as what

people find attractive but this study out of Australia is saying like actually it repels a lot of people because it comes across not as a sign of intelligence as we originally thought, as a sign of trying too hard.

And actually it's a bit of a turn off. And someone having a great sense of humour that you like actually has no impact on how attractive you find them. Basically being funny doesn't make you hotter. Oh. And people find it a turn off on a first date.

Yeah, they're a bit like, calm down. It's not an audience. Don't pay $20 for a ticket. It's not that New Zealand International Comedy Festival. Yeah. So if you found yourself single again, what would you have to just calm down? No, there is no calm version of me.

There is no version in which I'm like, so how's, breaks yeah tell me about i'm but a bing but a boom the whole time you know what i mean she's a bit much that would literally be translated the number one thing in my profile like 510 yeah hazel eyes yeah um felt fit hot body Bit much Bit much You can't handle it, you've got to walk Love some Prosecco Yeah, yeah, yeah, moderate drinker

Non-smoker Unless I've taken the moderate drinking a bit far Fashion is my passion Love animals Don't have a dog though But in general Bit much Passion. Yep. Love animals. Yep. Don't have a dog though. Yeah. But in general, a bit much. Great work, guys.

10 out of 10 if I say so myself. I'll do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.