ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th September 2024

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

Burnt out or just bored?Carwen's drivingSLP: Is it okay for your boss to call you on annual leave? Landlines are cool again? Top 6: Things I want to see at the next Commonwealth Games Why are you dreaming of your ex? It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas Vaughan's Extra Hot Curry When did you think 'oh shit I'm gonna die' Chief Fire Officer 'Damo' Fact of the Day: Why fire trucks are red Naming ceremony for Judy Drench The great roll on debate  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley on ZM. Thank you Bryn, good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, it's two minutes past six today. Broadcasting live from Hawke's Bay right now in the Napier Aero Club.

Yes, we are. And boy, oh boy, what a beautiful morning. Look at it. Yes. It's so light outside already. Yes, stunning. The reason we are here at Hawke's Bay Airport is because we threw our weight behind the naming competition for the new fire truck.

Change Wrench is the name that we've got behind. That was the name. And we said, guys, get behind this name. Vote, vote, vote. We've made some murk. Yeah. This morning, after 8 o'clock, the name will be revealed for the new fire truck. And God, I tell you what, if it's not Judy Drench,

we've come all this way for nothing. We've come all this way for nothing but a beautiful sunrise. We've got T-shirts on. We had a beautiful moonrise. Oh, great moon. Beautiful moon but a beautiful sunrise. We've got t-shirts on. We had a beautiful moonrise. Oh, great moon. Beautiful moonrise, beautiful sunrise. There's the moon still, I can see it. The moon's going to set during the show.

Oh. So we've had it all, you know, all of your sky sets and rises. Beautiful, beautiful Hawks, babe. Gorgeous. Well, after 8 o'clock this morning, all will be revealed. Also, after 8 this morning, a big concert announcement. Yeah. Which is huge.

Huge. You may have seen a tease on social media if you're a fan of, I don't want to give it away, no clues. Yeah, I was about to say something but I can't give it away. There was a social media tease last night on this particular. Yeah, it rhymes with High Call Maxon. He dead, man. He dead, he dead, he dead.

He long dead. He long dead. Like over a decade dead. Yeah. So that, he did, he did. He long did. He long did. Like over a decade did. So that's after 8 o'clock. The top six is on the way. You might remember that Melbourne said, we'll host the Commonwealth Games. Just like that.

That's exactly how they said it. And then they soon after said, we can't afford to host the Commonwealth Games. Got no monies. Well, let's go to Scotland. Right. Okay. So the top six Commonwealth Games events I'd like to see in Scotland.

Okay. A little bit of Scotland. Coming up, we need to talk about Producer Carlin's driving. After I actually was elected driver yesterday and got us to the hotel smoothly, getting to the Aero Club this morning was a harrowing ordeal. Because you always let the local drive. Yeah. And she drove like a bloody local too.

Next on the show though. A lot of people just trying to get through to Christmas. Just got to get through. Just got to get through to Christmas. Shall I give you a... This is not that far away. I've got a countdown on my phone. Well, it's the 19th today. So we're nearly... They call it Woolworths now. They've rebranded. I've got a countdown on my phone. Well, it's the 19th today, so we're nearly...

They call it Woolworths now. They've rebranded. I've got a Woolworths on my phone. It's... Yeah, I mean, we're nearly three months away. 97 days till Christmas. Stornan. Well, if you're feeling a little bit burnt out,

it might not be burnout. Okay. It could be something a little bit softer. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. I feel like we've been hearing about burnout more and more ever since COVID, I reckon, because we got back into the workplace and we're like, oh, working sucks.

Yeah. I'm working too hard. I want to be back home in bed getting up at 10 o'clock. Burnout, more and more acknowledged in the workplace and medically recognised. Here are the symptoms, common symptoms of a burnout. Okay. Tiredness, fatigue, irritability,

stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, poor motivation, decreased sex drive, not Sabrina Carpenter, feelings of helplessness and despair. I feel like people listening to this will be like, oh my God, I feel all of these, 100%. Now, there's a new theory that burnout may be being chucked around a little bit too much.

People a bit too quick to say, I think I'm experiencing burnout. Why? Because you might just be bored. They call it a bore-out, but I think you're just bored. Bored with your job and life? Bored with life. A little less. What are the symptoms of bore-out?

Is it saying, my wife? My wife. How much? Oh my God, I can't believe you just said that. You're going to get this. Symptoms of bore out. Feelings of disinterest. Feelings of worthlessness.

Kiss of depression. But also just feeling a bit like understimulated and wanting more in life. And the solution to, like it's like a medical thing. You've got to take a lot. I had a friend who had burnout, took months off work, had a full, you know, recovery period. Whereas bore out, you just need to take the weekend off, go do something fun. But is bore out more popular now because everybody's got a small portal device in their pocket at all times to an instant dopamine hit.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. They're kind of like, I'm not getting the satisfaction from this job that I hate. Let's get this thing out of my pocket. Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. Back to work. Or you're at work and you can't be on your phone or stimulated,

so it's not as exciting. Yeah. Yeah. You're driving heavy machinery which i imagine would never be boring what a great oh my god but i bet they don't have days where they're bored digger artistry next door to the aero club we're broadcasting from this morning we didn't we witness some oh beautiful yesterday oh they're making a pad making a lovely pad well they say that employers should because they they're like it it's post-pandemic. We're just bored.

We're bored in general, and we want more flexibility and control in our lives. We want more holidays. We want more time to do the things that we love to do and less time in the workplace. Sounds like the beginning of the revolution. Viva la revolution. Viva la revolution. Right. Okay.

Yeah. I'm not bored of work. I enjoy what we do. You said that quite quickly and quite defensively. I just really need this job, so. Just if the bosses are listening and want them to think that I'm absolutely thrilled to be here.

Yeah, right. Thrilled to be in Napier, but I would like, you know, I'm happy to broadcast this morning. I'm looking forward to the morning, but I'd prefer to be at a winery. In the afternoons, I'd love to hit a winery

before Hawke's Bay. Of course you would. We don't have time. We are in Hawke's Bay and we need to discuss next, Carwen's driving. We got picked up yesterday by a Black Thunder and then they left us the car. And then Carwen, who is the local, said, who wants to drive?

And I thought, you know what? I'll step up. Yeah. I'll step up. And then, of course, we needed maps to get everywhere. Vaughan was on maps. Well, Hayley didn't know which way was left or which way was right. I'm very good at my lefts and rights.

She said, where are we going at this intersection? And I said, we're going right. And she immediately started turning left. Yeah, I know. Do you know why? It felt like a roundabout. And I got confused. And I was going to go left to go right.

That's what you want from your driver on the first intersection. Confusion. So apologies to anybody stuck behind me. No, and then it was absolutely perfect. And I stuck to the speed limit. Because I was told that all of our cars that the company own

are monitored with speed monitors and if you go over ding, ding, ding head office gets an email saying, well, this car went too fast.

Not only that, the car actually like says to you, slow down, slow down, slow down. Slow down, 50.

Anyway, this morning, Brian Early, Carwin pulls up in the car, proceeds to put herself in the driver's seat. Well, she's already driving because she's pulled up. But she's decided she's driving us to the airport this morning. How many warnings, Carwin? You can come share my mic.

Hello, hello. How many warnings do you think you got? I don't know how many it was. Maybe like four. It felt like ten. Every four seconds. It was like, slow down. No, it was like, abide by the rules or something.

Although, to be fair, you were in one area and hadn't noticed that it was a 70. Yeah, exactly. That one wasn't me. And it gave a warning. No, we weren't in the 70 zone yet. Yes, we were. Yes, we were. It was before the sign.

The sign was visible on the horizon. You can see the sign that's in the zone. Yeah. You know, it's close enough. That is not how speed limits work. Be like, I see the 100 up ahead. I'll just floor it to the end. I'm vibing 100 though, officer.

I'm vibing 100. I checked the 70 zone. This is a 70 and you're going 105. I was vibing it because there's one coming up. Yeah, I don't know if speed limits are vibe limits. It's hard and fast. Then we were like, doesn't the car email head office? Because, Carwin, you'd have like eight emails waiting for them this morning.

Not eight. It wasn't that bad. It was. It was. It were about eight. Look, I'm a local, okay? I just know that you can just go a little bit. Yeah, and it was 4.30 a.m. to be fair.

The speed limit is not, and this is coming from me30am, to be fair. The speed limit is not... And this is coming from me. This is rich from me. The speed limit doesn't change in the morning. I do have a lead foot. I think that... I realise Karwin did. She's so used to driving...

Yeah, but the warning shouldn't kick in at 10. It should be at, like, 20. Over? Yeah. No! Okay, Simeon Brown, pop the brakes. This whole driving over the speed limit thing, they're there for a reason,

says a guy on a Jimny who now never breaks the speed limit. Yeah, because you can't. Yeah, I know. Physically, you can't go over. I know, but in my vehicle, I don't have a monitor connected to the head office that employs us. Now we've lost producer Carwin. We've lost just like that, yeah.

It was really nice working for you all, yeah. Okay, I think maybe going forward, before we drive the car We could wrap it in tinfoil So it can't transmit To head office That's a great idea That's a great idea

Great idea Maybe Because it would only Shoot up to satellite So maybe we just make a hat A tinfoil hat We don't need the whole The wheels are fine

Yeah yeah Okay But tinfoil the roof Put a tinfoil hat on it Yes and the bonnet Because I think it's in the bonnet Yeah Somewhere

Yeah Was the car vaccinated? Because it will be transmitting on 5G if it does and then we might need to do the sides as well. I saw some black ooze oozing out of it.

Did you? Yeah. I think that's what the vaccine's done to it. Okay, right. Well, Carwin, thank you for driving us here. I'm glad we made it.

Yeah, but look forward to your written warnings from head office for that. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Yeah, but look forward to your written warnings from head office for that. Birds just flew over. Yeah, birds aren't good on a runway, Hayley. No. Go, go!

Especially non-native pigeons. Go the other direction. Someone get me the airport shotgun. Broadcasting live today, Napier Aero Club, because later... Looking good at the runway as well. Yeah, beautiful. And we just saw a plane take off. We're here with Judy Drench. You've got the T-shirt on, Hayley.

Yeah, so do you. We're going to be revealing the name of the new airport fire truck later. Hopefully it's the one we voted for. Hopefully it's the one we've printed on a T-shirt. But right now, silly little poll. And this today's silly little poll. Is it okay for your boss to contact you when you're on leave? Be that annual leave, be that sick leave.

Now recently, and we've mentioned this, Australia has a new law. It's law. Your boss, you don't have to, you don't have to reply to emails

or text messages or calls once you've left work. And if they try to contact you, like, they can be fined. It's illegal.

Yeah, they're putting into the law. The reason we ask this is because of an English man, Tom, who has shared online. Oh, I reckon he'd go Tom. Tom. He has shared online that his boss ruined his holiday by texting him during holiday. He said, hi, Tom.

Hope you're having a great time on your holiday. No need to reply right now, but I just wanted. I've seen a couple of those emails. I just wanted to keep you in the loop. We had a visit from the area manager. Now, this is Tom's boss emailing him. We had a visit from the area manager, and he's pissed about our figures. I think we're going to have to have some really tough meetings when you're back from holiday.

Oh, my God. I'm in Thailand. No, no, no. Yeah. He said, look, I don't want to worry you while you're on your break. There's nothing we can do until you're back, but it's a real shit show. Shouldn't send it. Shouldn't send it.

He's in a bad mood. And look, we're going to have to talk about this when you get back from holiday. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like, just leave it. That gives me anxiety thinking about receiving an email like that while I was on holiday. Yeah. I would hate that.

But this is a text. That's a huge no. That's a dick move. That's a dick move. Yeah. Well, overwhelmingly, people said uno when we asked, is it okay for your boss to contact you while you're on leave? 85% saying uno, 15% saying yes.

Those are the bosses. Now, the good news for the ones that said uno, if they've only got one card left, they can play it next time. But if you forgot to say uno, then you've got to pick up a card. But do you know what? There are people that thrive being the person that, you know, keeps the workplace going. And, you know, without me, they won't, you know.

So you're saying they like even being contacted. They love it. They love it. They want it. And they love, you know, being involved. No. Sam, you may just hear a plane taking off. A little plane taking off.

That's authentic folly. That's authentic folly. A little plane. What's that? That looks like the one that they used to fly in the Flying Doctors. I'm off. That's authentic folly. That's authentic folly. Little plane. What's that? That looks like the one that they used to fly on the Flying Doctors. I'm waving. Six seater? Yeah, that's lovely.

That's a lovely little plane. Lovely. Some feedback. Sam said, and this comes from a boss point of view, I'd never contact any of my employees while they're on leave. That's a line you don't cross. I've approved the leave. Don't go there.

Yeah. Sophie, I've always been okay for work to contact me outside of hours. I work on a psych ward. If I can help, I'll do it. That's beautiful. That's a round of applause. That's nice. That's stunning, actually, from our mental health professionals. Just the health professionals, aren't they?

A wonderful job. Amelia says, only for goss. So it's only okay if the boss contacts you on a holiday when it's the boss goss. We like that. We've got a bit, our goss, our chat kind of keeps alive during holiday breaks

with some goss. With some goss goss. I remember when you told me some goss when I was away. Do you remember when that girl got drunk and went into the radio station and did a show? Yes. And you told me. I was overseas when that happened.

Yeah, that was funny. And you were happy to receive that information. Oh my God, I was so happy to have this phone call. But I mean, that was different. It was Vaughan and it was goss. I am your that happened. Yeah, that was funny. And you were happy to receive that information. Oh my God, I was so happy to have this phone call. But I mean, that was different. It was Vaughan and it was Goss. I am your boss though. Yeah.

We're also genuine friends as well and I think that really comes across in the show. Well, you think about the boxes I tick of being like in management. I don't do anything. Yeah. I talk to him. I talk a lot more. I'm all talk.

Yeah. No walk. Yeah. You turn up once the work is done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then take all the once the work is done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then take all the praise and glory for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw my hands up.

Tell the higher ups what a great job I've done. Yeah. And they love you. I mean, I've got all the hallmarks of a good middle management. You do. You're the show boss. Yeah. The show boss.

I reckon he's the furthest from show boss. Yeah. He's the show cuck, really. That's a glitch. You're show cuck. I'm not the show cuck. You are the show cuck. He is, yeah.

He's the vibe hire in the show. We make you watch us do the work. The vibe hire in the show cuck, really. He's the show cuck, really. He's the show cuck. I'm not the show cuck. You are the show cuck. He is, yeah. He's the vibe hire in the show. We make you watch us do the work. The vibe hire in the show cuck. I might have put that on my LinkedIn right now, actually. It's time for that six-monthly annual LinkedIn update. Yeah. I hope I'm never seriously looking for a job sometime that someone looks at my LinkedIn.

Amanda says, my boss is my sister. We've worked together for 13 years and had two very tiny fights. Wouldn't change it for the world. She can contact me when I'm on break. First of all, I would never work in a management structure where my brother was above me. I would, but I love my brother. You like your brother. You kiss him on the lips.

We kiss on the lips for each other, babe. Which is an inappropriate workplace behavior. You're going to have to go see mum in HR. Nicolette says, I'm on maternity leave at the moment and my boss contacted me to let me know my job is being disestablished no I'm glad he let me know

yeah kind of sweat I mean I guess you kind of have to right you do have to I guess yeah hardcore it's horrible

Courtney said I just did two months in Europe deleted all the work apps used an eSIM and disabled my local SIM so I couldn't hear from work at all. Yeah, good.

Do that. That's hot play. Our work emails didn't work over at Urup, so that was quite nice. I went to check them and I was like, can't, oh well. Yeah. There you go.

Might work. I saw Uno, but I was just away for a month and gave very, very specific instructions on when it would be okay to contact me, said Catherine. So I guess she set the rules. What are your parameters? Natalie said, my memory's pretty shocking.

There's probably something I forgot to do or forgot to tell someone how to do. So I guess that should be. You know what? They'll figure it out. Don't worry about it. They'll figure it out. They'll be fine before you arrive and they'll be fine afterwards. Contact regarding work, says Joanna.

Absolutely no. Contact with a meme to do with our revolting sense of humour that's work-related. Absolutely yes. Sounds like you've got yourself some genuine friends. You don't want to miss out on memes just because you're on annual leave. Yeah. Well, our meme group doesn't stop on holidays.

No, it never stops, baby. But we're genuine friends. Genuine friends. I think that comes across. I think it comes across on you. Shut up, you two. I love you. Get on with it.

Get on with work. I'm just giving Vaughn a pat on the back. Play. ZM's Fletch giving Vaughan a pat on the back. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Everything that was cool in the 90s is back in fashion. Oh, the fashion's been back for a long time. We saw some out on the street yesterday in Napier, didn't we, Vaughan? Yeah, and everybody was drinking boba tea.

Everyone was drinking boba tea. Vaughan was so fascinated by the boba tea. I've never had a boba tea. And I was like, boba tea's been said Form was so fascinated By the boba tea I've never had a boba tea And I was like Boba tea's been around for years For ever yeah Yeah I've never had Nor really ever seen people They were all the teens All the teens were drinking boba tea

He's like What are the little balls made out of I was like tapioca He's like Like a pudding Yeah He's like he's just heard of it Yeah

Yeah Wild But we were also like Oh man the fashion It's crazy. It's come around. Everybody's in a white fox hoodie. Everyone's in a white fox hoodie and big baggy jeans with a low ponytail.

Yeah, very 90s. Anyway, another 90s thing is back. It is the landline. Too late. 5628133. That was my phone number when I grew up. Well, don't read it out loud. It's fine.

I can't read out my childhood number because it's still my parents' landline. Oh, really? Yeah. Because they're on the farm, they've still got a landline? Yeah.

The other day, my mum said, when Nan passes, I'll be getting rid of the landline. Oh, because Nan needs it. Because Nan's got the landline and that's how she rings mum.

Oh, right. She couldn't just ring on the cell phone? That costs a fortune. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Because Nan doesn't have a cell phone. Right. So she't just ring on the cell phone? That costs a fortune. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Because Nan doesn't have a cell phone. Right.

So she can't call from a cell phone to another cell phone and it'd be almost free with the free minutes. Your parents are paying so much money each month for a landline just because Nan needs to call. Yeah, yeah. For the Nan line. For the Nan line. It is the Nan line.

Aaron's parents still have a landline and they use it more than they use a cell phone. So most people would have got rid of it because you don't need it. Well, you've got a phone on the go. So how is it cool again? Are people signing up for it? Yeah, so I feel like it's kind of a nostalgic thing. It's not really a real landline because you still access it through your phone.

Oh, no. But you can sign up to get a landline number. So you go in, and you go on this website, and you choose your area code, and then it will generate get a landline number. So you go in and you go on this website and you choose your area code and then it will generate you a landline number and then you can tie it to your account for a subscription fee. Yeah. And then you can give that. So it's good for like businesses, I suppose,

if they wanted to hook it up to, you know, I've got my mobile number, but if I wanted to have a business landline, I could hook it up, but it would be on my phone. But people are finding it cool. People are finding it cool and young people are are getting it being like call me on my landline oh four yeah yeah yeah and then you know you can get those extensions where you plug in a receiver yeah and it's like a landline like a handheld landline thing and they're like how am i going how quirky is this step backwards although we did talk do we know was it did we talk about the garfield phones and stuff yeah they were cool yeah my

friend had a garfield phone hamburger phones lips phones novelty phones so in 2024 in april according to the commerce commission there were around just over half a million landline services in new zealand shoot so that's still quite a few. It's a tenth, isn't it? It's a lot, eh? Yeah. It's the oldies. It'll be the oldies.

The oldies who are still holding on to it and don't. I mean, my pop, none of my grandparents had a cell phone. They're all dead now, so thanks for bringing that up. My granddad was the first person I knew with a cell phone. Oh, really? One of my granddads, none of the rest of them ever bothered. Funky pop. Yeah, yeah. He had a little flip, none of the rest of them ever bothered. Funky pop. Yeah, yeah.

He had a little flip. Pull out the aerial. Yeah. Flip down the mouthpiece and hold it against your ear. At the end of the conversation, the air would be quite hot. Yes, very hot.

Yeah, my dad had a phone like that. Well, anyway, yeah, they're finding it very sort of fun and nostalgic to be like, call me on my landline. Look, if you want to go full fun and nostalgic, nail your cell phone to the wall and have the cord in it,

like you said, the handset with the cord. And have someone randomly interrupt the call throughout. Saying, I need the phone line because my friend's calling. And if you want to go really nostalgic, make it that you can only connect to the internet when somebody's not on that phone. If they ever pick up that phone while the internet's connected, it will be immediately disconnected.

And then if someone calls through while you're on it and you didn't dial star 52 to disengage call waiting, it would also cut you off from the internet. Even though you were just absolutely chatting up a real hot chicky babe. Oh, not a chicky babe. There was probably actually a dude just pretending to be a chicky babe in a text-only chat room. That's nostalgia.

I think that's nostalgia. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley From the bustling ZM think tank This is the Top 6 Yes hello there Glasgow stepping in To host their 2026 Commonwealth Games I've been to Glasgow

I love Glasgow We've been to Glasgow Brief stint in Glasgow Beautiful First place I had haggis, neeps and taties Yum I don't like haggis I tried. I love Glasgow. We've been to Glasgow. Brief stint in Glasgow. Beautiful. First place I had haggis, neeps and toadies. Yum. I don't like haggis. I tried it.

I love haggis. So a while ago, Australia were all confirmed, Victoria all confirmed to again host the Commonwealth Games, but of course money post-COVID, and they just said, we can't afford this. But they have to pay as a result of, as a consequence of pulling out of the Commonwealth Games

they have to pay $415 million in compensation to the Commonwealth Games Federation That's terrible $219 million of that

will now go to Scotland to cover the hosting of the event and then they're going to have to top that up Wait so where's the other I don't know I guess What are they putting

that in the light of their pockets are they A good day for the Commonwealth Games Federation Good Is making a smooth $200 million Cheeky bastards I don't know, I guess it's... Well, they're putting that in the light of their pockets, are they? A good day for the Commonwealth Games Federation. Good. Who's making a smooth $200 million. Cheeky bastards. I don't know where that goes, but yeah, Glasgow will host the 2026 Commonwealth Games.

But you sort of think for $400 and something million that Australia's going to have to pay because they didn't host it. They could have just done a low-budget one and hosted it. They could have just hosted it. And it will be, Glasgow will be a stripped-back Commonwealth Games. But why didn't Victoria just do a stripped back? Like, they've got everything. What does it mean by stripped back?

I don't know. Like, I think... It must be... No chocolate, no Choccy Muffins in their village. It'll have a low-cost opening and closing ceremony. Oh, yeah, they're big budget. No Athletes Village. What?

It's not clear which events will be cut, but athletics and swimming will survive with the venues already earmarked, but some of the other venues might win the trophy. Oh. Now hold on a darn tootin' moment. What if they cut something like rowing, which is always where we climb up the middle table? What if they get rid of our good ones? Because we were

fifth, I think. Or what if they get rid of breakdancing and Ray Gunn can't do that weird thing on the floor? That's going to be devastating. Not happening. It's not happening at the Commonwealth Games anyway. Not on my watch. One and done.

Not on my watch. Well, I've got the top six Commonwealth Games events with a Scottish twist. Number six on the list, boxing. But it's just two dudes, no gloves, too many whiskeys in a car park behind the pub. Strip back. You know what you're saying to me.

Yeah. Strip back boxing. That's cheap. Strip back. Yeah, strip back. What you say to me? Yeah. Strip back boxing. That's cheap. Strip back boxing. That's cheap. Number five on the list of strip back Commonwealth games with a Scottish twist, a Ness ball. It's net ball, but it's at Loch Ness. Oh, yeah.

With Nessie playing goal shoot. And if Nessie doesn't turn up, the monster. Yeah, they don't take jokes. You know they don't take jokes about that, though, Vaughn. They don't. They don't like jokes about it. She's going to come. We're going to see her one day. Yeah, she's going to pop up. No goals. Yeah, they don't take jokes. You know they don't take jokes about that though, Vaughn. They don't. They don't like jokes about it. She's going to come. We're going to see her one day.

Yeah, she's going to pop up and we'll be like, huh. Number four on the list of the top six Commonwealth Games of the Scottish Twist are skating the bagpipe, not the halfpipe. Oh, wow. Skating the bagpipe. How do you do that? You've just got to skate while playing the bagpipes. Oh, wow.

The Venn diagram of people who are good at skating and also good at bagpipes, very small. Yeah. Strip back event. Strip back event. Very, very small. And they'll probably just let them skate around the park. They'll just go around and use a screwdriver to take off all those nubs that councils put on everything to stop skateboarders.

Number three on the list of the top six Commonwealth Games of the Scottish twist are the Great Macintosh Lolliescramble. Oh. And the winner is the person that gets the most egg and cream. I love egg and cream. The Great Macintosh Lolliescramble. And the winner is the person that gets the most egg and cream. I love egg and cream. The superior Macintosh flavour. Why is it so good? It's so good. Egg and cream. Which was the dud one?

Malt? Red? Malt. They're all dud to me. I don't like any of them. I love them. And the blue one was not coconut? There is a coconut. I thought green was coconut. Oh no, pink's coconut green was minty yeah

yum and harrogate was yellow because that was the thing you'd always think you'd get an egg and cream but you were getting a yellow harrogate

do you know why I can't eat them anymore is because I spewed after a Santa parade and I had eaten those too many too many Macintosh lollies and now it's forever

that and Midori that's why I can't do Midori because remember I had that balmy night on Midori. Fijal vodka, 42 below. You just need to suck it up and stop being a puss.

Okay. Right. Is that how it works? That's how I got back on the Midoris. Get back on the Macintoshes. Don't be a puss. Get back on the Midoris.

Yeah. Again, in moderation. In moderation. Oh, yeah, yeah. Whoa, duh. You can't have more than one. Unlike me when I did not moderate my intake of Macintosh lollies as a child. Number two on the list of the top six Commonwealth Games of the Scottish Twist, archery.

Except it's everybody running at the English archers with swords. Oh, okay. Braveheart style. Yes. Yeah, but it's everyone versus England. Yeah. We've all got an axe to grind. Very Highland games.

Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six Commonwealth games of the Scottish twist, all the cycling events. He says as he slams his laptop, all cycling events and kilts. Oh. Oh, right. You get your kilt stuck in the wheel. Shorter kilts blow right up.

You get the full. Oh, like a marching girl kilt, little mini kilt. Right. Yeah, mini kilt. Yeah, I don't know. Broadcasting. I don't know if you can just have genitals on the broadcast. You wouldn't want your junk just raw dog on a bike.

You said it was stripped back. Stripped back. Yeah, okay. And then going around the velodrome really fast. Yeah. The kilt goes up. Yeah. Hello.

Hello. Get a little something. Get a little something, something. There's something for everybody there. Yeah. Regardless of your taste in genitals. Hello. Hello. Get a little something. Get a little something, something. There's something for everybody there. Yeah. Regardless of your taste in genitals. Sure. There's something for everybody.

It's today's. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. When, um, who is your ex born? You've been married so long. Well, the girl that dumped you on Christmas Day. Yep, that's one.

Oh, that's one of them? Yep. I don't really have a lot of exes. Well, you've been in, like, a long-term relationship for a long time. Yeah, yeah. But before that, I had sort of, it was quite a casual few years. And then... A casual few years is a lovely way to describe what you did.

A casual few years. Like a tornado down Courtney Place. A casual few years. A casual few years. A relaxed half a dozen ECPs. Yeah. You know. Low effort trip to family planning

Yeah Always got to bring a friend Because there's a hell of a way in Wellington Yeah Yeah But when I think of exes I don't know why I always go back to my first boyfriend I think because he was my only other serious

Serious relationship How long did you date him for? Year and a half But at 17 that feels quite significant. Because three months was my max. Before Sade? Yeah. I'd only ever been in relationships that lasted three months.

Oh, my God. And now I've been in one that lasted like 20, what is it, September? Yeah, coming up 20 years. In November, yeah. What's your longest relationship? Oh, like a week. Call me a tornado down Courtney Place. How dare you?

Anyway, I'm talking about exes because I feel like people dream about their ex all the time. It's a common theme. Yep. It's common as Vaughn's elevator dream. What's your elevator dream? Oh, yeah, going through the roof. That's just out of control. Out of control.

It just shoots up, it drops down, sometimes it goes sideways. Well, there's a sleep and dream expert. Now, hear me out because I know that we think that dream experts are wishy-washy, amethyst-loving people. Okay. She's a dream analysis expert, and she says that a lot of people dream about their exes and it fills them with all this anxiety like,

what does it mean? Maybe it means that I want to get back with them. It doesn't. Okay, so we can calm down about that. It just meant that like, you know when you dream of random people, quite often they cross your thought path the day before? Do you ever find that you people will be in your dreams because

I don't know, maybe you saw a post from them the day before. Yeah, they're in the forefront of your mind. And they're there? Yeah. Yeah, well but if it's your ex and it's been quite a while, it sometimes doesn't mean that you're thinking about them. You're thinking about something that they represent inside of yourself. What? So it's not about you're're thinking about something that they represent inside of yourself so it's not

about you're actually dreaming about benjamin you're dreaming about an element of ben that like let's say he was um just like diving into my past relationships he was um no it was lovely but he had this quality and now that's at the forefront of my mind. And so he represents this thing. So it's not actually about Ben. It's about my feelings of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So if you're dreaming about an ex that you recently broke up with, that's more like you're trying to process the breakup. But there's lots of different contexts of why you might be thinking of them

and what they're representing. Now, if you've ever had a sexy dream about your ex, you shouldn't feel bad about it. You're just remembering a fond time. There should be no guilt associated. I mean, definitely don't wake up and tell your current partner that you just had a sexy dream about your ex. Or text the ex and be like, holy moly.

Just had a sexy dream about you. And it's really awakened something in me up to still same number, just checking, that kind of stuff. And then you get a message back saying, please stop messaging Benjamin, I'm his wife. We've got three kids. Like 13 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're happily married. This actually freaks him out. How old were you when you were to get a 16? How old are you now, 34? That's embarrassing. The courts want to know your postal address to serve you your restraining order. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley.

Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. 96 days, 16 hours and 41 minutes until Christmas. Petrol trucks just pulled up at the airport. Yeah. Just giving a finger on the pulse. Yeah, broadcasting live from Napier Aero Club.

We're going to unveil the name of the new airport fire truck after 8 o'clock this morning. But right now, Christmas is what we're turning our attention to. 96 days away and a lot of reports of Christmas are pouring in. Yeah, they certainly are. Hayley's got in touch. H-A-Y-L-E-I-G-H. Sort of a classier Hayley.

Kind of like a very festive Hayley. Like sleigh. Yeah, like sleigh. Hayley. Sleighly. Sleighly. No, it would be Hay-sleigh. Hay-sleigh.

Because the lay is at the end. Sleighly. We're going with Sleighly. That'sayslay. Sleighly. Sleighly. No, it would be Hayslay. Hayslay. Because the lay is at the end. Sleighly. We're going with Sleighly. That's our nickname for Sleighly. Hayslay. Sure. Sleighly. Whoops.

I've clicked out of that email. The Warehouse of Hornby have a range of cream wafers. You know those yum sticks? The tubes? Yes. The wafer tubes with some like, what is it in the middle? I don't know. I think at Christmas we discuss what that chocolatey goo is.

It's just goo. It's not white chocolate, eh? It's just like a goo cream. But we're not talking one sort of like drum of goo-filled wafer shafts. Pinky party? There's a fine pack. I don't think you've got any future in the marketing department for a... Guys, guys, guys, guys.

You know those things we all love to eat at Christmas, but only at Christmas? What are you talking about, Vaughan? The goo-filled wafer shafts. Give me a tin. You want anything from the supermarket? Yeah, give me a tin of those goo-filled wafer shafts. Give me those goo-filled wafer shafts. I shall only call them that, henceforth.

GFWSs. Yeah. Let's pop to Bunnings in Manukau. Megan said you can buy these Christmas ornaments, these giant ones. This seems steep. There's got to be something special about these. $50. They're big baubles, but do you know what?

Do you know what? I think they're for outside trees or like hanging. That'd look good in the Magnolia. Christmas ornaments, a six pack for $50. But if you're going to go for a big tree, you're going to need. You're going to need a few, but that would look amazing. Yeah, I want to put some. They're kind of basketball size.

They're huge. Are they that big? Yeah, I think so. I can never tell the size of anything in like Bunnings or Mighty 10 when it's just a photo of the thing. You need someone to put their hand there. Yes. Or a banana for scale.

A banana for scale. As the Dull Men's Club on Facebook. And if you're going to upload something, you've got to have a banana for scale. Or a can of Red Bull or something. A paper plus. A Yui Boom. No, because you get mega booms. You get mega booms.

Oh, come on. I might have said goo-filled wafer shafts, but now you're comparing Yui Booms. No, I'm just saying everyone knows the size of a Yui Boom, so it's a good thing to compare things to. There's mega booms, there's Yui booms. Yeah, there's the round booms. Yeah, the pill booms.

Also, as Christmas approaches, I also like to call it Yui boom season. Yeah, it is. Seeing more Yui booms in public. Winter, they go into hibernation, and, of course, they come out for the summer on the outdoor lifestyle. Also open to receiving a new Yui boom. I don't know what happened on my last one. Anyway, that's just me trying to get free stuff on the radio.

I don't think I've been doing it enough lately. Buy yourself a Uwe Boom. I'm not buying a Uwe Boom. How do you get a Uwe Boom? Would you be open to a JBL? What's that? A JBL. You know what?

You would. I would. Because you love free stuff. I want to mesh. Okay. The Uwe Boom, you can mesh all the Uwe Booms, can't you? You can have like three or four on the go. This is not what we are here to do.

We are here to laugh out loud with Fletchford and Hayley, entertain the people. Back in the day, we actually, what was it, 2010? We said, this is the year of the free stuff. And every week, we just tried to do as much free stuff as we could. And it ruled. It was entertaining. It was a way to entertain us. as much free stuff as we could. And it ruled. It was entertaining. It was a way to entertain us. It was before social media.

Yeah. We were influencers. Plane incoming. Oh, it's about to make a stunning landing. Okay, don't look. Where do you think it's coming from? A plane's about to land in Napier. Auckland.

Okay, you both think it's coming in from Auckland. I'm going to open my app. Sorry, everyone. We're just. Sorry, guys. We've just got to do this. We've got to do this. Do you know how fast that plane's going? That's coming in hot. Okay. We'll just... Sorry, guys. We've just got to do this. We've only gone up. We've only gone up. Do you know how fast that plane's going?

That's coming in hot. Okay. We'll carry on with your Christmas... Both of you are right. Yeah, it's all close. We've been winning this game all morning. We said that one's going to Christchurch, that one's going to Wellington, that one's going to Auckland.

Paper Plus Apukakuhi has a full rack of Christmas cards available. Already? Okay. Posh Christmas cards. Oh, posh ones. You buy like a 20-pack Christmas cards and okay Huck a meaningless heartfelt from Haley touchdown oh this is a stunning thing to watch Shelley Shelley has said the Wellington

Collective store had baskets and baskets of what look to be beautiful handmade Christmas decorations for the tree. Oh, wow. Aren't those stunning, Fletch? Aren't those stunning, Vaughn? Aren't those stunning, Hayley? Stunning. Touchdown in three, two, one. Can you hear it? Here it is. Put your microphone by the corner.

That was a lovely landing. Lovely. Smooth as you would like. Commendations to the pilot. Beautiful landing there from Air New Zealand on the runway here. That looks like a bit of me because, you know, last Christmas was my first ever Christmas tree. Yeah.

And I put up a pitch and some people said, bit beer. Oh, bit beer. Oh, ouch. Yeah. Ouch. Oh, my God. You got bit beard. Yeah.

It's tree shamed. Remember I couldn't find lights? Yeah. And so it didn't have enough lights. I think you can redeem yourself this year. I'm going to go hard this year. Your redemption arc begins. Yeah.

This is a great arc. Your redemption arc. And I will happily provide the soundtrack to your redemption arc with my Brad U. Uwe Boom speakers. Three or four meshed together via the Uwe Boom app. Well, with 96 days until Christmas.

We're getting warmer. Right now Christmas penetration is at 34%. It is beginning to look a lot like Getting warmer? Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 34%. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. We will reveal the name of the new Hawke's Bay fire truck.

Hopefully, Judy Drench, which we threw our weight behind. Well, we just commentated the truck pulling up. Yeah, beautiful. But they have covered up the nape, so we can't see. Can't see yet, so we're not sure. It's got a new number plate. It's got a queue at the start. Oh, yeah.

I've had to queue in the number plates. I've had to queue in the number plates. Amazing. Now, last night, as we were staying in Napier, we went out for dinner. Yeah, we went to a beautiful Indian restaurant called Rasui. And as recommended by Carwin. Yeah, we went to a beautiful Indian restaurant called Rasui and as recommended by Carwin... Yeah, a lot of locals recommended it and I tell you what, it filled up, didn't it?

We got there and there was no one there and I always find that's a bad sign for a restaurant. But it was 5.30. But it was early and by the time we left it was full. Yeah. And then we were all ordering. I want to talk about the guy that his phone kept ringing. This old guy who was eating by himself. His phone kept ringing, but rather than being like, decline call,

he'd go and tap his phone on the table twice down. And it would hang up on the call. And it would hang up on the call. Yeah, and it was like super loud. It was so weird. Really weird. Silent, silent, am I king? We don't all need to know you're blatantly ignoring calls from, I don't know, loved ones or the police.

And then the restaurant had a menu, like normal menu and then chef's menu. Yeah. And then we were all like having a look around and I'll say there were a number of butter chickens ordered around the table. I know. That was so embarrassing. So who were the number of butter chickens? Fletch had a mild butter chicken.

Shannon had a standard menu. He could not be talked into the gourmet butter chicken off the chef's menu. No, because I know what I want. I want a nice butter chicken and an an. The waiter, who is Indian, said, don't worry, it's Kiwi style. And you said, yeah, that's a bit of me. Yeah. And then Shannon also ordered a mild butter chicken.

We know what we want. And then we had a paneer tikka masala to my right with carwin. Yeah. Now, this is where it went embarrassing. Well, then I ordered something off the chef's menu. I recommend it. He said, this is the best thing. It was good, too.

And I said, I'll trust you. And I did. I got like three curries in one. It was amazing. And then, Vaughan, you also got sort of coerced. No, but he knew. He saw a brother in spice. He saw a brother in Spice He saw a brother in Spice

He looked at me and he said I feel like this guy may have a wife With an Indian connection And he's like, sure he does Can you please get a t-shirt that says brother in Spice Shout out to my brothers in Spice Spice brothers And it's me and that guy

And we've got our arms around each other But he talked you into a goat curry. Yeah, so he said, what kind of curry do you like? I said, usually, like, I like to get things different. I like to try. And he's like, well, this is the specialty. This is the specialty. This is you.

Chef's menu, goat curry. And I was like, oh, okay. I have had goat curries before. I really like goat curries. I said, is it like the goat curry on the bone? Because meat cooked on the bone always tastes better and obviously

it can be more tender and I like and I'm asking him questions and I'm like oh okay I might have a look and he keeps going

he keeps this is the one you want this is the one you want he's bullying me no because he he saw a brother in Spice he saw a brother in Spice the Spice brothers

yeah and he kept and I'd be like oh what about this one and he'd be like it's okay but this is the one you want, this is the one you want.

And I was like, oh, okay, so the goat curry, and he's like, but it's made with lamb. I was like, so it's a lamb curry? He's like,

no, no, it's a goat curry, but it's made with lamb. Lamb meat. I was like, what you were describing, friend and brother in Spice, is a lamb curry.

Right. But it was a lamb shank, and the traditional sauce. Of a goat. Of a goat. Of a goat curry. Right. But it was a lamb shank in the traditional sauce. Of a goat. Of a goat. Of a goat curry. Right. So I really got pushed into it and he's like, how hot do you want it?

And I was like, hot. Yeah, here we go. So I'm like, hot. Here we go. I like hot. And I said, careful now, do you mean Kiwi hot or Indian hot? And then he looked at you being like, yeah, what do you mean? And I was like, hot.

And you said, somewhere in the middle. Yeah, make it hot. Make it I was like, hot. And you said so-so somewhere in the middle. Yeah, make it hot. Make it hot. Make it hot. And he did. He made it hot. Jesus. You had to take your beanie off.

It's a compliment. You were sweating. A brother in spice to another brother in spice when you take your beanie off because your head needs to breathe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're sweating. Because you're sweating. At the dinner table.

And your nose is running. It was a great blowout. I will say my butter chicken, beautiful spice level. What? Zero. You are not a brother in spice. Just a tang. It was a great blowout. I will say my butter chicken, beautiful spice level. Zero. You are not a brother in spice. Just a tang. It was a tang. You're a stepbrother in spice and I am not stuck in the washing machine, stepbrother. You are not

welcome here at the Brothers of Spice. I had a dip because you dipped in mine and I dipped in yours. And it was hot. It wasn't like unenjoyably hot. It was very, very tasty, but very, very hot. And how do I know that?

It's still cycling in my gut. Because your butthole is on fire. Not yet. I thought it wanted to before, but it was a false alarm. We don't need to know that. It was a false alarm. At the moment, I've chucked some porridge in on top and a couple of nannies.

Right. We might need Dame Judi Dench on the arse later to put out what will be an explosive fire because I'm a brother of spice.

Well, we are here staying in Napier. Can I actually take over here with my best radio voice because when we stay in Napier, we love to stay at Scenic Hotels Tepania. Here in that great spot,

fantastic view of the water and of course the new on-site... I stumbled. And the new on-site restaurant, The Curve and Bar. The new on-site restaurant, The Curve and Bar, open for breakfast,

private lunch functions and dinner seven days a week. I wasn't as good as you. And just a lovely stroll down the road to Rassoi where they'll give you a curry that will blow your arsehole out. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM.

Oh, we've got a plane taking off? No, you're not taking off. Yeah, great. We're broadcasting live from Hawke's Bay Airport. After 8 o'clock. Which thing is going? Wellington. I'm going to say Auckland. We just recently live from Hawke's Bay Airport. After 8 o'clock. Who do you think it's going? Wellington. I'm going to say Auckland.

We just recently had an Auckland departure. Really? I'm going to say Christchurch then. Yeah. We're playing. We're guessing. Yeah, Christchurch. Revealing the name of the new Hawke's Bay Airport fire truck after 8 o'clock this morning.

That's actually after Wellington. Damn it. I said Wellington. Yeah. Damn it. And then I changed my answer to go with you. Okay. First, let's talk about this. You may have seen this video

because it's kind of gone everywhere at the moment. Stefan Jankovic. He is a social media influencer, YouTuber. Travel, da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. That's a job. It's a job now. It's a real job.

So is talking. Yeah. Who knew? A lot of us have fun jobs. Yeah. He posted a harrowing video on socials of him. Now, he's an idiot. He climbed into a bear's den,

which is like a tunnel type mud cave thing that like a bear would go into to hibernate. You may have seen that online. He climbs in it to check it out. And he's like, I, ha, ha, ha. I'm in a bear's den. And then he spins his camera around. And who's at the tip of the head of the bear's den?

It's a bear. So he can't get out? He is like trapped at a no exit. Oh, no. It's a full Goldilocks situation. It's awful. He's in their house. He's eating all their porridge.

I'm just going to show you, Fletch. That's the sight he sees. Oh, wow. Big ass bear. Big ass bear coming in. And he's filming the bear. And he eating all their porridge. I'm just going to show you, Fletch. That's the sight he sees. Oh, wow. Big ass bear. Big ass bear coming in. And he's filming the bear. And he's like, what do I do? I'm just like, I'm staying still.

He can't run. So it's either just fight the bear or die. Or hope it goes away? It does. Oh, okay. First, the bear climbs into the pit. So he's like pushed him up at the dead end. The beer would

be like free breakfast. I didn't even have to go outside. So the beer's coming in. This is way better than the berries I had planned. How good is it when a breakfast pops up? You know you've got something planned for breakfast and then somebody else has got breakfast plans and there's some eggs involved. What's lovely.

Yeah, it's nice. This is the beer equivalent. Yeah. So the beer, like, comes into the thing, is, like, sniffing super close to the camera, and he's just basically, he's filming it, but also just going, all right, see you later. That's up to Wellington.

Bye, plane. Bye, plane. Have a good, safe flight. He's just like, oh, shit, this is the end. Yeah. Like, here I go, and I die. And just for some reason, the beer backs out, enough for Stefan to get out

and the scaler tree. It kind of sniffs him. Sniffs him, sniffing around him. Because when I first saw it, it was just the segment of him like going past the bear. I was like,

oh, this guy is that, like that other fellow that trusted the bears and lived with the bears and then one day the bears were like, actually, I didn't have breakfast plans. I'm not the bear man

and they killed him. Yeah. That's what I thought was going to happen, but. Like, look at him. He's just like it's awful. That is... So he manages to... Oh, when the beer

lunges into the cave? No, no, no, no. He manages to get past the beer and like makes it out. But your head would just be going like... Like, we're lucky we're seeing that video because we wouldn't be seeing that. Crawling towards his legs. Because someone I'm assuming would have gone looking for him

and found the harness that he was wearing with the camera and been like, wow. And then maybe released the footage before he was eaten. Yeah. Anyway, I want to know, I want to get some texts and calls in of if you've ever had a moment that made you say, as this guy must have been thinking, oh shit, this is the end. This is the end of my

life. This is it. It's over. Yeah. Maybe it was an animal encounter. Maybe a teetering off a cliff. Hanging something. Maybe sliding down an avalanche. Yeah. This is it. Oh, imagine that.

Remember maybe last year with that call from that woman who fell down a cliff at the back of her property? That's right. And she had to get rescued. That's right. She would have just been thinking

or maybe you like got lost in the wilderness. I don't know, but I've never personally had a moment where I've gone. Well, remember I saw a jaguar in Costa Rica. It walked out in front of me. So it just got a small plane taking off. It's an aero spread actually. That's going to go and do

some. Oh, you've got to shuckers. Excellent. He's got a radio in there, do you reckon? Probably. Do they have radios in planes? He'll be clearing his flight with control. He doesn't have a. He's waving. He's got a radio in there, do you reckon? Probably. Do they have radios and planes? No, he'll be clearing his flight with control. He doesn't have a... He's waving, yeah. He's waving. I don't think he's listening, though.

He just looks. One of those clowns up there. Sorry, distractor. Back to my story. I want to know if you've ever had a moment in your life where you've thought, oh, shit, this is the end. I did.

Remember I saw a jaguar in Costa Rica and no one believes me? No. Well, there's no photo. I don't feel... If you see a jaguar, you're taking a photo of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah's no photo. I don't see it. If you see a jaguar, you're taking a photo of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't have my phone on me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He didn't have his phone on him. But I honestly did think, oh, well, this is how I die. I get eaten by a giant big cat. That's pretty cool, though.

It was beautiful. I don't reckon it'd be cool. I mean, sorry, no. I reckon it would take way too long. I mean, the story of like such way too long I mean the story of like how did Carl Fletcher die yeah

I used to work with this guy who got eaten by a jaguar in Costa Rica yeah they'll be like that's pretty sick

okay well we want to take your calls now 0800 dials at him you can text through 9696 when do you think oh wow

this is the we're talking about those times when you thought oh this is it it's over a guy nearly got eaten by a bear because he was in the bear's cave. Yeah, well, don't do that.

Don't do that. Now, Alison's called up. You thought it was nearly over for you. What happened? So I was on a line walk with a group of us that were travelling when we were in Africa and the lions had kind of disappeared out of sight. So the guy called them and as they came running back,

one of them did a severe right angle and jumped on me and knocked me over and had my neck in their jaws. The other one thought this was quite good. So he came and jumped on me as well. So I had two lions on top of me and I'm only really small. So you couldn't actually see me under the lion. Oh my god! And so yeah, it was a pretty freaky feeling.

The lion obviously had my neck in its jaws and was trying to lick my skin off and it's a pretty freaky feeling. No, it was playing, it was being cute, it was being cute. Being cute? Would you think it was cute if it had a lion in your neck and its jaws? Well, it thought I was cute and it wanted to play with me, but. Oh, my gosh. Well, thank God it wanted to play with you and not eat you,

because it could have easily done that. Oh, my God. It could have easily smacked me. That's an amazing story. That's incredible. Did anybody get any photos? Because once you'd kind of survived, you'd be like, anyone catch that on film?

Did you get it? Yeah. Well, that's the funny thing, because there was about 20 of us there, and the camera's out, and people videoing, but absolutely no one got it on camera, because we thought we had it on video, but it turned out the guy went,

and he dropped it to the ground. That would have given you millions of views, and probably a lot of money to earn some little, you know, 15,000. Oh, probably, that's nice. That's great for the memory. Yeah, also grateful to have you live. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, it is one minute past eight. We're going to come back next.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Look to your left. I'm outside. Hayley's outside. We're live. We're live at Hawke's Bay Airport. Now, the reason we are here is because a while ago, this popped up in the news,

the story that the new Hawke's Bay Airport fire truck needed a new name, and there were five options for the name. Yeah. And I think you were away at the time, Vaughan, and Hayley and I made an executive call that as a show and as a country and as a nation, we should get behind the name Judy Drench because that is a great name for a firetruck. Yeah.

Spraying Mantis was my second pick, but Judy Drench justis was a good name. Second pick. Yeah. But Judy Drench just felt right. And we really got behind it, Fletch. And then when Vaughn came back to work, we were like, yeah. Thousands. Now, voting in the last couple of days did go dark. And we don't know if we were, we knew we were in the lead before that, but we don't know if we've won. So soon, we will be officially unveiling the name because behind you, Hayley, is the new... God, that's a sexy fire truck, eh? Can I introduce, speaking of sexy, can I introduce my firefighter friend,

Damien here, Chief Fire Officer. Chief Fire Officer. Is that your title? Hawke's Fireport, that's the one. Thank you. Just hold this mic a little bit closer, Dora. I'm learning to do radio as well. And Damien's going to...

I'm going to go in the truck with Damien and talk to him about the truck. Look at the size of his wheels. Can you ask him my question, why are fire trucks so sexier than normal city fire trucks? Oh yeah, why are the airport fire trucks sexier than normal ones? Everything about

aviation is sexy, isn't it? He's not wrong. That's right, you and those two guys that took off in that top dressing plane before were quite

good looking, but it was only because they were behind the wheel of a plane. Yeah. It's such a nice truck and if you see here, there's like this black

bit covering up the name, which we can't unveil yet. Yeah, because there's actually going to be an official like speeches and ceremonies. Yeah, there's people here. Yeah, there's like this black bit covering up the name, which we can't unveil yet. Yeah, because there's actually going to be an official like speeches and ceremonies. Yeah, there's people here. Yeah, that's going to happen while the songs are playing. Yeah, that's right. And we'll come back and reveal the name soon.

But you're actually. Can I get in the truck? You can. Can I get in, Damien? Oh, my God. It's so big. Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. Even the door shutting. Oh, yeah. Catch the door shutting. How are the seats? They look like they're like bouncy. Really bouncy. Oh, yeah. You can't catch the door shutting. How are the seats? They look like they're, like, bouncy. Really bouncy. That's good.

Good seats. Damien, how much does this firetruck cost? Are we allowed to say how much one of these costs? It's $1.6 million. Jesus! If I win Lotto, I'm going to buy one. Hey, then you can... What, just for the farm?

Yeah. Yeah, then you can pick your own name, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to use it for a second. And when it gets dry in the summer, I'll just put it on and get the hose to spin around and it'll be like a big sprinkler. Big irrigation system. Okay, while we're in the fire truck,

can we play the siren? Is there a siren? Do you say play the siren? He's not a DJ. Did you hear that? Yes. Yeah, that's a cool siren. That's great.

Can I do it? How many different sirens? Three. Three different sirens. Do I just do this? Yep. Oh my God, I did that. You did that? Wow many different sirens? Three. Three different sirens. Do I just do this? Yep. Oh, my God. I did that.

You did that? Wow. That's pretty cool. Oh, that's cool. What's the next one? Sorry, my mic's being a bit funny. That's all right. Hang on.

Oh, that's a yelp. Is that what they call that, a yelp? That's a yelp, yeah. Oh, I like that one. That one's cool. That one's cool. Very European. Very European.

Very high-riding. Very demure. God, so satisfying. Like, you'd go to a, if you were going to a European plane, you'd use that one, maybe. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So, Damien, before, I know we've got to move things along because we've got to get to the official naming, but, like, when is this going to be used?

Hopefully never. Hopefully never, yeah. So we could just hang out, do you know what I mean? We could just hang out in this $1.6 million truck and hopefully never use it. Damien, it's the airports, but say, like, someone just next door's house caught on fire. You guys would help out, eh?

Yeah, we try and help out where we can. Yeah. Okay, what about little summertime grass fire sort of thing? You obviously don't want that getting close to the airport. Yeah, if it's around the airport and we can help, we'll be responding. What if we wanted to make a big hydra slide out of polythene and

you just sprayed it for us? We've got some dish soap. Yeah. Would you do that? Or is that not really... That's not allowed. Are you being silly, actually? We'll pick a bit of time in this gap.

This is an emergency service. Can you please take it seriously, Fletch? Sorry, Hayley, Captain Hayley. It's more about slip and sliding. This truck is actually amazing. I can't wait for you guys to get inside it. Is it a camera on the front? What is that thing on the front? There's a nozzle. There's two nozzles. There get inside it. Is it a camera on the front? What is that thing

on the front? There's a nozzle. Is that a nozzle-y thing? Oh, he's pushed a button and it's moving now. What does that do? What does that spray? So that's water. So we've got water from the bumper and water from the roof. Shannon's running away. Shannon's running away. We're not going to blast you, darling.

Can you get a little squirt? Can we get a little squirt? Hang on, we've got to turn it on. Oh blast you, darling. Can you get a little squirt? Is that possible? Can we just do a little squirt? Hang on, we've got to turn it on. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, the truck's hot. Okay, we're going to have a little... Squirt away, because there are tractors in front of us, Freddie. Okay, just a little squirt here from the...

Oh! That's no little squirt! That's a big squirt! That's great. There's a guy on a tractor who's going to get a little bit of a spritz from that. That's all right, though. He'll be upset. Okay, Damien, that's what a toy that is.

Okay, can I do one more siren? Go for it. One more question for Damien. On the side, it's got LEDs. It's got blue bars. Does that tell you how much water reserves you've got? That's how much water we've got. How much water can this truck carry?

7,400 litres. That's all right. Oh, that's good. That's all right. That's plenty of water. You fill up someone's swimming pool pretty quick with that. No, a small swimming pool. Yeah, two swimming pools.

Two swimming pools? It's so swish. Is this going to be like, you know when you get a new car and for like maybe a couple of months it's really tidy and nice and then it turns to crap and you've got rubbish everywhere? Is that going to happen to this or you'll keep it nice and tidy? Oh, I think the boys will keep it nice and tidy. Oh, you're good, Damien. Yeah, I'll give it three months and there'll be a Minty's wrapper between the seats.

Can I ask, was Judy Drench your chosen name for the truck as well? Or where did your vote go? I was one of the five. Yeah. I won't say which one I picked. Oh! He's not a Judy Drench. Wait, are you saying?

He's not a Drencher. He's not a Drencher. He's not Team Judy Drench. Were you a Spraying Mantis? I was a Spraying Mantis. He was a Spraying Mantis. He was a good name. That's our second pick.

The truck does look like it's got a mantis vibe to it, but without the arms. No, we can't change our sway. We've made T-shirts. We're going Judy Drench, but we don't know yet. We're going to reveal soon, very soon. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. of the day jingle was a two man job oh my god you guys don't even need me I thought that was the vocalist

I wondered why that sounded weird with the fact of the day jingle I was singing you a raw dog I was just saying speeches have commenced

outside we've had a karakia they're doing the speeches the official naming so soon we'll find out the name so we'll do

fact of the day do you want a simple one do you want like a fun one like a why a fire engine's red yes

because this fire truck is fluoro yellow I love that Yeah. Do you want like a fun one? Like a why are fire engines red? Yes. Yeah. Because this fire truck is fluoro, like fluoro yellow. I love that that's fluoro yellow. Why fire engines are now fluoro yellow. Because most city fire trucks are still red around the world. So fire trucks were painted fire truck red, the official red of fire trucks. Because at the time when fire engines first, you know, the motor vehicle, they could build a big enough truck, they could transport enough water.

It was the most visible colour that was manufacturable. Oh, of course. They didn't have fluoros. They didn't have fluoros. They hadn't worked out how to make those colours yet. Yeah, so they made red, which would grab people's attention if they couldn't hear it. If they saw it, the red would grab their attention and they'd look. But as soon as, of course, it gets dark, red is very hard to see.

Yeah. So the lights stepped up there. But now they got to the point where they're like, the only thing keeping us with firetruck red is the tradition that firetrucks are red. Yeah. So a lot of cities, like, can you imagine New York repainting their, like, iconic? Never. Especially after September 11.

Yeah, they're iconic. They were always iconic. Yeah. But there was something that became more iconic after that huge tragedy. The firetrucks are firetruck red. You just can't imagine a New York truck. And that's why it's just tradition keeping most firetrucks red. That's why privately owned firetrucks, such as the soon-to-be-named Hawke's Bay Airport fire truck,

Hope you get your duty drenched. is a sexy neon yellow because it's the easiest to see, this high-vis yellow. Yeah. Of course it is, day and all night. Day and all night. You're right, though, that they're iconic. Is that me? I don't know.

Something's a little crappy. Do apologise, we're broadcasting. Oh, yeah. You're wiggling the headphone cord. I don't know how to radio. I just walked in here. They're like, you call, like, paint fire engine red or nail polish or lipstick fire engine red. Like, we equate it with red now, but they are mostly yellow.

It's got a, it's official fire engine red has color coordinates. So you could go into a paint store and get neutral The Pantone It could get the official fire engine red It could be done But the only thing keeping them red now is tradition When yellow would be a significantly better colour for modern fire trucks Because of the visibility at night and or day Today's fact of the day

Is that fire trucks are only still red because tradition says Fact of the day Day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. We're outside again. Yeah, this is the moment. Fletch, I'm actually broadcasting from an area controlled by the Civil Aviation Authority, so I'll ask you to please have respect to this broadcast.

I've just jumped the gate. You've just jumped the gate. You went round the fence. I didn't see that option. You're from a farm and I'm from the city. This is why we are here at Hawke's Bay Airport today, because we are unveiling the name of the new Hawke's Bay Airport fire truck. We got behind the voting.

Now, I mean, we were influential, we hope, in the name of the winner, which is about to be revealed. We don't know yet. We chose Judy Drench. We've had T-shirts made, so this is going to look very embarrassing for us. If they pull off the sticker and it says Spraying Mantis, we're going to look real stupid in these Judy Drench T-shirts. Now, I will say, before we reveal the name,

there were thousands and thousands of votes, 88% of which came from New Zealanders, a lot of our listeners, but we do have a lot of podcast listeners and people saw this. People commenting on TikTok, like, I'm from Brazil. I voted. Votes came in from New Zealand. 3.8% of votes also came from Australia. 3.3%

of votes from the UK. 2.2% from the United States. Also voting. Countries. Germany, Fiji, Belgium, Spain, Indonesia, Germany, Fiji, Belgium, Spain, Indonesia, Croatia, Hong Kong, the Czech Republic, Colombia, Bermuda, Malaysia,

Hungary, Greece, the Philippines, Romania, Saudi Arabia, Vietnam. A huge list. It's nice that someone from the Philippines vote counts for something. I know. Gibraltar. Somebody from Gibraltar voted. Someone from Gibraltar voted on this truck. Denmark, like so many countries around the world.

This is insane. So we thank everybody for their votes. Yes, thank you everyone. And I think we should find out what the truck's called. Yes, we should. Now Vaughan, how would you describe at the moment the name has been signed written on the truck, but it's covered with a Absolutely opaque black covering.

Can't see. Some lovely orange tape skills have made it very brilliantly sealed there. We do have a dog ear pulled, so it'll be a swift removal to reveal the name of the new Hawke's Bay Airport truck. Fire truck. All right. Okay. We ready?

Ready? Who's doing it? Who's pulling it? We're going to do a countdown. Ready? Everybody. Ready? Everybody. Five, four, three, two, one, go. Yay, we won.

Well, I think everybody wins. Everybody wins. Judy Drench. The name of the new Hawke's Bay Airport firetruck is Judy Drench. God, that's a good font. Judy, Judy. It's a good font. Judy! Judy! It's a good font. Who chose the font?

Oh, can we ask who chose the font? I have no idea. We don't know. We don't know who chose the font. It's a beautiful font. It's a beautiful font. Judy chose the font. It's a corporate font.

It's a corporate font. It's a beautiful corporate font. It wasn't really a decision, but Judy Drench was as voted by 39 different countries. Yeah. Has taken out the name. Congratulations. Thank you to everybody that voted.

That's fun. And we get to actually have a play after we finish. Yeah. And you've already had a go at the site. I've had a little play. Turn the sirens on. Can we turn the sirens on again, Damo?

Okay. You're going to be a bit comfy with Damo. Oh, do you want to have a go? You have a go. Yeah, I do, actually. I'm on nickname terms with Damo, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Me and Damo.

Okay, who's the chief? Yeah, chief, fire chief. Go. Vaughan's going to put the siren on to celebrate the fact that the new Hawke's Bay Airport fire truck is called Judy Drench. Yay! We did it. That's so much fun.

God, we're just like little kids, aren't we, really? This is the most fun I've had in years, honestly. So good. 26. If I was in the fire service, this would definitely be my job, just flicking between the dials. Yeah. What, but not actually doing anything else?

No, that's scary stuff. You've got to put out fires, Vaughn. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Bit of beef. Oh, really? Bit of beef at the airport. We've just come back in to finish our fantastic, highly rating radio show. Where we have fun, but also we give facts, we give information.

Why is there beef? What's happening? Radio New Zealand have showed up for a story on it, and they've just frog leaped us and forced Damien to take them for a hoon in the new truck. Wow. Judy Drench. Wow. Before a hoon in the new truck. Wow. Judy Drench. Wow. Before us.

Wow. Radio New Zealand. Wow. Wow. And there'll be some Russian spin on it. Your taxpayer dollars at work. Yeah.

Wow. Oh, look how fast he's going. I'm excited to have a plan. Yeah. Check out our socials. Also the old firetrucks just parked around the corner. I know.

And it looks real sick. It's like when you get a new family car and you have to just the old one. You're like, when James got bricked up in's just parked around the corner. I know, and it looks real sick. It's like when you get a new family car and you have to, it's the old one, you're like, ooh. It's like when James got bricked up in that episode of Thomas the Tank. Are you going to bring that up? Yeah. We get to have a play around on the firetruck after we finish the show.

It'll be on the socials. Yeah, FVHZMI, our socials later. I'm so excited about this. And, I mean, the firetruck is called Judy Drench. We won. Yes, we did it. We did it. Well done. The We won. Yes, we did it. We did it. Well done.

The people won. Congratulations. Now, we are on the road, and it seems Hayley didn't pack. Oh, for God's sake. I usually overpack so badly for everything, and I forgot a whole bunch of stuff. And it was fine. I brought what I needed.

In fact, do you know what, Vaughan? It has been a long time since Vaughan's knocked on my hotel room door and said, I forgot my toothpaste. That's how I talk. That is how he talks. You never pack toothpaste. It's been years since you've asked me for toothpaste. I just don't brush my teeth anymore.

That's my secret. It's all a lie, man. As a man who doesn't live alone, Fletch does live alone, when you travel, do you take the family toothpaste? I normally do. So last time, when I went away a couple of weeks ago, when I went down south to Anchor Island, I just grabbed the family toothpaste.

Yeah. And I got a message, an irate message. And then Sade went to replace the family toothpaste with, we brush with that black stuff, the charcoal toothpaste. Oh, isn't that? Okay. Yeah. And what are you about to say?

Well, I thought people said don't use charcoal because it brushes. Takes the enamel off. Takes the enamel off. It's not like full-blown charcoal. It's like Colgate's charcoal. Oh, right. Okay. Quarter charcoal.

Okay, right. She couldn't find it, so she bought this other stuff. Quarter charcoal. And, well, that's really throwing me. I don't know. Did we laugh too much at the race-based joke? Did we hit it right? I feel like I really laughed.

You made the joke. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. Gotcha. So, okay. Oh, my God. The fire truck is spraying.

I completely lost my train of thought because Judy Drench is just absolutely watering the runway as it drives. That's insane. It's fine. We're going out to play. It will be us soon. We'll take this up with Tessie Mulligan. Actually, I'm going to have harsh words for her. You know what?

The Russians are using all the water, so we don't get any water. So I stole the family toothpaste, and Shade said she went to get the same, and it was gone. So she bought this purple stuff. Yes. Not the high smile stuff that you always get on there, but it is purple, Colgate's version. Right. And so that got put in my away bag because it's so gross.

So now I brush my teeth. It's sort of punishment. For stealing the toothpaste. For stealing the family toothpaste. I bought toothpaste, but I tried to pack really lightly because I didn't want to check in anything. And, like, you know, heavy. And then I got up this morning to put on my outfit, and I didn't have a hairbrush, and my hair had gone to shite.

And I didn't have deodorant. And so I text the girlies. We've got a girl chat, just the girls of the team. And I said, I didn't bring a hairbrush and deodorant. Can I use some? And they got here and Shannon's like, ball or aerosol? And I said, ball.

Roll on. And I used it. I just was like, that's gross to use someone else's deodorant ball on your pits. I don't think it's gross to use someone else's deodorant ball. I've got hairless armpits. It's gross. We did put up an impromptu poll on our Instagram page. Is it weird to use a friend's roll on deodorant?

68% of people said yes. Oh, my God. My manky again. Your manky again. 32% of people said no. Oh. Because your reasoning was girls don't have hair. Well, most girls don't.

We've been told we can't. And so the patriarchy made us shave them off or permanently glaze them, as I have. But I'm just like, I'm not absorbing spit or any other, but it's just pit to pit. I don't know. It's just gross. To her pit, then my pit, and then back to her pit. Yeah. Zara says, had you showered this morning?

Yes. So you should fresh off the shower. Yeah. Because if you hadn't, and then the bacteria gets on there, you've got a cross-contamination. Yeah, I have had a pit rash before. A pit rash. Remember, that was one of the first things I took to Dr. Shawnee.

And then I used a hairbrush. I do have nits, but that'll be fun for her to find out. Listen, can someone say it's not weird if you're putting it on clean? Yeah, I am clean. And I assume Shannon's clean. There was half an hour between the hotel and here. Shannon's mid-clean. She gave me a mid-clean.

Oh, right, okay. If I get pit rash from you, Shannon, I'll be very upset. But at least I won't smell and you guys won't have to put up with that in my Judy Drinks Yeah, I guess that's true. You know, someone coming off a recent smelling accusation. Oh, that's right. Someone at the gym told you it. I thought you smelled yesterday.

Well, yesterday we sat down at a pub and immediately when we sat down, I had to text message Hayley saying, it is not me that smells, I had to text message Hayley saying, it is not me that smells, it's the guy behind me. Oh, because you've been so traumatised. I'm traumatised by it. I've got my own trauma. You know, it is nice now, finally, as a white man at the age of 42 to finally have trauma. Hey, welcome.

Welcome. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. That is the end of our show, broadcasting live at Hawke's Bay Airport today for the naming of the new fire truck. It's official. There she is. Judy Drench. Judy Drench. We get to have a go.

Playing it now. I love travelling away with you guys. I've just got to say one thing. In the last 24 hours, I've followed Vaughan to the bathroom twice. You don't put the toilet seat down. That's crazy. You live with three women. I don't know.

Do you not? I don't know if I'm calling out you or Sade for letting that behaviour slip. What seat? The top bit. Yeah, the bit that you lift, the P. The bit that you sit on. There's not even two parts. The cap or the seat.

You don't put down either of them. No, I don't. So why are you trying to decipher which one I'm talking about? You don't put down either. I want my woman to know I've urinated and I haven't splashed. Oh my God. I can't believe it. And they get there and they say, thank God we live with a great guy. Aaron, no, you've trained him well.

I've trained him well. My father's been trained. I cannot believe you have it anyway. And if I take a poopies, I leave the seat down, but I leave the cap up to let them know I've scrubbed. Okay, right, okay. I'm a clean boy. Well, thank you to Hawke's Bay Airport for having us,

inviting us along. It's been so much fun doing the show. Thank you as well to Scenic Hotels, to Panya, who put us up. Great spot there. Great thick walls. Yeah, right on the waterfront. Amazing views. Thankfully, because we were next to each other.

Head to head. All five of us had a room next to each other. And Hayley was a little worried, to be honest, wasn't she? I like my private time in my hotels, and it was a great night. Yeah. So, yeah, thank you for having us. Also, a pre-thanks to Skiv, who just came up to me and said, do you like helicopters?

And I said, yes, I do. Yeah. And he said, I've got a MASH replica. And like an old school helicopter. Would you like to go on a flight if time allows? And I said, yes. So let's wrap up this radio show because I've never been in a chopper. Hayley's going to go on her first helicopter ride

in a Bell 47 that's painted up like it's from the TV show MASH. That's insane. First we're going in the Judy Drench new fire truck. This is the best day I've ever existed. Somebody messaged me on Instagram saying your passion, your show passion. Should I say this?

I've told Fletch this. Somebody messaged me on Instagram. They said it so I can say it. Yeah. Your show passion for fire trucks is on par with my autistic seven-year-old son's. Thank you. And that's to be commended.

It's a compliment. And I said that is a compliment for passion and enthusiasm for a specific subject. Hey, if there's a city needing to name a train, we can get behind that as well. Yeah. We love trains. We love trains. Named anything. Naming anything will be there.

Yeah. This has been so much fun. Thank you, everyone. If you like today's podcast tell your friends you could send them the link and if you don't have

any friends just pretend you did yeah great and rate and review and maybe get out there and try to make some friends