ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st August 2023

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Watched the cricket this morning, haven't you? What cricket's on? Ah, the Ashes.

England won. So the series was drawing. Spoiler alert. Yeah, it's one of those big five-day games that you don't like. All about sports at the moment. Didn't they, wait a minute, didn't they rain out on day four or something? That was the last test, yeah. This was the fifth test.

And you're all over the netting? Five lots of five. Yeah. We just finished five tests. One of them was washed out. Yeah, I'm onto the netball. And the Waz, of course, I'll be up the Waz this weekend. Oh, mate, up the Waz.

Who's that netball player at the World Cup that's, like, as tall as the goal post? Sri Lankan. So I was watching at the weekend when we were playing Uganda, and I messaged Ross Boss saying, ha-ha, there's a player in the World Cup that's as tall as you. Yeah. And it turned out I had confused his height with Aaron's height. Aaron is just shorter than Ross Bob.

This is your fiance. So then that one was as tall as Aaron. Yeah. A player from Uganda. So then I set out to find a taller one. And the tallest woman at the Nebel World Cup is the same height as, just taller than Ross. Six foot eight.

Yeah, she's six foot eight and she plays for Sri Lanka. Good Lord, that's a tall lady. Yeah, so she can pretty much just stand next to the goal, reach up and pop it straight in. Yeah. She's their shooter. How tall is a netball hoop? Ten foot?

Tall. No, not ten foot. That's three. 3.5 metres high. 3.05 metres high. Yeah, right. So about ten foot. Yikes. But still, it's like, eh, and That's right. 3.5 metres high. 3.05 metres high. Yeah, right. So about 10 foot. Yikes.

But still, it's like, eh, and it's in. Yeah. Little doof. Yeah, because if you're 6 foot 8. Yeah, because your arms go up, of course. Your arms go 6 foot 8, maybe even a little bit longer, but by the time they go up, very close to the hoop. Jeez.

Wow. I haven't really been watching a lot of sport. Well, because you're into your basketball and that's off-season. It's off-season at the moment, yeah. Coming up on the show, Vaughn, you could be swimming on a pile of cash. I could be. You know Vaughn collects his toys? Yes.

Well, there are some people in America right now making some absolute bank. I wonder if they'll want to buy my Barbies. Yours are too. They're custom. You've cut the hair. Who's the character that plays... Crazy Barbie? Not Crazy Barbie.

Kate McKinnon. Kate McKinnon's character. Your Barbies are all like that. What's it called? What's her name? Weird Barbie. Weird Barbie. Something like that.

Weird Barbie. Weird Barbie. So, no, it's not Weird Barbies. People are making money. We'll get into this soon on the show, but next... There is a man who claims that his friends are absolutely bleeding him dry. The figure of which will make you aghast.

He sounds like he needs cheaper friends. Yeah, I know. And less of them. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. This is a story of a man who is married. And this is what makes me go, what the hell? How did his wife let him do this?

Okay. In the space of 18 months, this guy. He's in the UK? He's in the UK. Yeah. His name is Will. He went to 56 stag dues in 18 months. Oh, that's too many.

He's one of those guys. Turn your microphone on. Oh, you never turned it on. I definitely didn't because I haven't touched over there. I really feel like he just does a triple thing. I think he's isolating you on purpose. I feel like he doesn't want me to speak. He wants to silence men.

I'm trying to silence men. Silence heterosexual men. Heterosexual white men are being silenced, ladies and gentlemen. The revolution will begin here. That's certainly been a problem, hasn't it, recently? It really has been. Let them speak. Let them speak.

This guy sounds like one of those lads that hasn't grown up. Yeah, he's actively seeking them out at this stage, right? So he's 43 years old, and it all started when he filled in for someone who couldn't attend a stag do. Now, I mean, what do you mean fill in? You're there or you're not. Maybe you need numbers for the paintball team.

Maybe it was uneven. Maybe it was uneven. There you go. So he jumped in and he was like... I never thought about that with stag do numbers. Are we going to have an even amount for paintball? Yeah, I know. We've got to get this Will Stevenson guy in.

So over the course of 18 months, 56 stag do's, he became hooked on them. So he went to all of his friends' ones. Yeah. But he also started just going to strangers' ones. Yeah. And then people kind of went, oh, my God, this is a guy who's doing a thing.

Come to my stag do. Yeah, right. Fun, right? Fun in theory. He's the stag do guy. Yeah. 43 years old. He's a car salesman.

He's on the wrong side of 40. He's the stag do guy. Yeah. 43 years old. He's a car salesman. Oh. He's on the wrong side of 40. He's married as well. Oh, he's married. Dude, I know. What does his wife say? Oh, yeah, go to stag do. It's wholesome fun for a 43-year-old man with a wife and children.

Okay. Well, listen, he's happily married. Got a kid. Ah! This has cost him, if I translate to New Zealand dollars, around about $100,000 in 18 months. That's a lot of money. But see, he's chosen to do that.

Yeah. He chose to do that. He wasted a whole lot of money. His wife should be livid. I would. I would leave him. He said it's worth it. The debt's worth it for all the memories and the friends he's made.

The debt. He must be a loser. So he's going into debt too. He's ticking it all up. Oh, it's on credit. He's putting it on credit, mate. It's on credit. So how much has he spent?

100,000 New Zealand dollars. Yeah, 50,000 pounds. So 100,000 New Zealand dollars at a very high interest rate. The guy is a dickhead. When I proposed to my wife, I told her I would stop doing stag do's apart from my own. That didn't stick I've gone to a few more But not as often anymore

Right I keep in touch with more or less All the friends I made How did he find time to get married In amongst all of these stag do's? Yeah I don't know And pop a baby out He didn't pop it out

But you know what I mean That's so much money And he's just got all these photos of him In like costumes Shots Strippers Bars Strips What does he want? Does he want us to feel sorry for him? I think he's empty got all these photos of him in like costumes, shots, strippers, bars, strips.

What does he want? Does he want us to feel sorry for him? I think he's empty. I think he's dead inside. I think he wants stimulation. He's dead inside. Gotcha, gotcha. He said it was an adrenaline rush.

He couldn't get enough. Right. Addicted. See, I mean, I love a stank too, but every once in a while. Very rarely. Yeah. Very rarely. My hens have dried up for sure.

Most of my closest friends are now all married. So, yeah, that's getting a bit dry. What happens next? There'll be lots of funerals, I guess, in a row. Yeah, let's wait for the stuff. Yeah. Oh, there'll be some divorce parties. Yeah, another surge of divorce parties and new marriages.

And then it'll be. Second marriages. Yeah, people will start dropping off. Yeah. It's just as well. I mean, I just have too many friends. I've got to... Yeah, you can put yourself in a serious debt.

And I can't separate from them, so... Yeah. They better start dying. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Barbie, smashing a record at the weekend at the New... This is a New Zealand box office. It had the second biggest weekend of all time. It beat out the likes of the Avatar, The Way of the Water, Avengers Endgame.

Who won? Who's number one? What do you mean number one? Didn't you say it came second? So it had the biggest second weekend. Oh, I beg your pardon. For a movie that is on its second week of release is what that means. So it's top of that list.

Yeah, beating out Avatar and Avengers. It grossed, this is in New Zealand, this last weekend alone, $2.84 million. Oppenheimer... Wasn't it $1 million that used to... That might have been New Zealand made movies. If they had made $1 million over the entire

run in the theatre, that was like good stuff. have been New Zealand made movies. If they made a million dollars over the entire run in the theatre, that was like good stuff. Pretty big, pretty big deal. Oppenheimer, which I saw over the weekend, $1.2 million. Wow.

And it's not surprising if you try to go to the movies over the weekend and you're trying to get tickets. Yeah. We looked for Barbie to take the girls and there was no,

it was like, but we were all seats left and none of them were together so we were like, pass. Do you know who's going to hate this? Surely Bad News Brad. Aren't we spending money?

Aren't we putting that into the... I know, because my Oppenheimer ticket was like 30 bucks. Did you get some poppy corn? Oh, you went to VMAX. I went to, are they more expensive, the VMAX ones? Yeah. Okay, I mean, worth it. Because you get like a recliner chair and it's massive screen.

Yeah, you have to. You've got to see Oppenheimer at the big screen. And with the sound, right? That sound at the start goes Mew! Christopher Nolan's sound, like the same in Dunkirk. Oh my god, his movies are Inception.

Brilliant. I mean, I've done all of them now. I've done The Mission, Barbenheimer. Oh, good boy. I've done The Mission, Impossible, Barbenheimer, Oppenheimer and Barbie. I've only Barbie'd. I've only Barbie'd. And I The Mission Impossible, Oppenheimer and Barbie. I've only Barbie'd. I've only Barbie'd and I really want to see Oppenheimer

but I want to see it in the right cinema. I don't want to be surrounded by manky strangers. You know what else could be good for Oppenheimer? An illegal download and you lie on the floor and you put your phone on it. You put a banana box over your head and you put your phone in the gap with the banana.

Absolutely not. And then just put some earplugs in and just crank it real loud. Just say, leave me alone. And this is my IMAX. Yeah. Wow. But, on the back of the success of Barbie, and you may have heard this one, people are selling their

Barbie dolls, but also their Magic Ken dolls from the 90s. Is that Gay Ken? Yep, Gay Ken. Gay Ken. Yes. Faye Ken. I'd forgotten until recently when you said that you'd bought a Magic Earring Ken doll. Yep.

1992's Earring Magic Ken. Were we on air and you just bought it on eBay? It was a fact of the day once. That's right. And it was during that research of fact of the day. I was like, these could be quite funny. And then I went online and I found one. It said the box had been slightly, it wasn't like a perfect box.

Yeah. But you had the box. It's still in the box. Oh, wow. And so I got delivered. And yeah, I bought it when doing Fact of the Day research. How much all up did you pay for the magic? I think I paid like 22 US dollars for it.

That's pretty good. And so that was when, like 10 years ago? Okay, that's weird. No, we were here so it was probably more like... Within the last... Yeah, no, because I bought it and then I took it along for, Vaughan, what have you been up to and have you been paying attention? And it got

cut for time. Well, they can stick it up their ass. Sorry. Everybody's all about Barbie now. Now they've cancelled the show, haven't they? So it's too late to... Do you reckon the show wouldn't have been cancelled if we had have had that segment? It would have blown up. And now it would be making a resurgence.

Well, if you... All off the back of Barbie. If you jump onto eBay now, Vaughn, and you search Magic Kindle... Magic, Earring Magic. Sorry, Earring Magic Kindle. 1992 is when they were released. This is exactly what you have.

Yep. People are selling them for a small, like okay, this one here, $328. $486. He's won for $800. Must be in good condition. You know? Yeah, a lot of the boxes do look pretty

good here. Yeah. What was your one? Wasn't too bad though. Slightly banged up. Slightly banged up. I'd say the average price would be 250 US dollars. Cool, cool. Which what's that? Like nearly 400. 10 times what I paid for it.

Yeah. Well, so I mean I... Man, I wish I had that sort of luck on my shazies. I'm sitting on, I'm sitting on the cash here because I've got 52 of them. So how much are they going for?

Let's say $300. Yours aren't in the boxes. $300 times 52. I'm making $15,000. Okay, they need to be in the box and they need to be near new. What's the box is the worst bit. The doll's where it's at. It's the least fun to play with.

Yeah, exactly. The box sucks. It really gets in the way with play. But for collectors, right? That's who's playing top doll. Mine is still collection worthy. And also people are selling Ken's friend as well, played by Michael Cera.

Alan. Yeah, the Alan dolls. The Alan dolls are going crazy as well on eBay. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I think a lot of the rare collectibles are like the little cameo characters and stuff that are in the movie. Like what was the pregnant one, the pregnant Barbie?

Midge. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of them. What's Sugar Daddy Barbie? Because Midge had a baby that came out, right? Yeah, a little belly that opened up. A pregnant belly opened up.

That's weird. She had a C-section because she's got no genies. That's true. She wanted a natural birth. But they were like, I'm so sorry. She wanted to come out of the mound. And she wanted a home spa. You have no genitals.

Yeah, she wanted to get in the bath and just sort of naturally do it. She was like, no intervention. And they're like, Midge, it's not going to happen. Push all you want, Midge. Like, you don't have an opening. Yeah. Could you have done a C-section in the mound, though? That's not how C-sections work.

Yeah, that's not how it works. Yeah, it's not typically. You need a bit more space. Sorry, I just don't know the Barbie anatomy. You idiot. I mean, you were born via C-section. You should know these things. This is true, yeah.

In fact, next on the show... Was Midge your mother? Could be. Maybe. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. You gonna yummy yummy me? Yeah. Yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy.

It's so rich and good. I feel like it's been a while since we've been introducing some yummy treats. Well, it's been a while since there's been anything worthy of talking about in terms of food releases. Is that true? Yeah. Well, this is exciting. You love a bit of caramilk. I do. For me,

it's too sweet. You know, it gives me that like neck thing, or it makes me start salivating because it's so sweet. I get tingly inside of my cheeks when I get sweetness. It's like down here and it's like, ah! It's so sweet. I get tingly inside of my cheeks when I get sweetness. It's like down here and it's like, ah! It's so sweet. Well,

Caramilk, someone shared on TikTok, but I can't find any formal press release for it. So I saw a stand in the supermarket of this kind of, because it's a new Cadbury, what is it called? It's called Caramilk Slices. So they're doing this thing, Slices,

and there's a few different flavours from what I saw, but I didn't really pay attention. I just kind of walked past quickly. So this one is your Caramilk caramelised white chocolate on the outer with caramel on the inside, vanilla flavoured cream and chocolate biscuit. Jesus, wet Jesus I like it Is it a bit gooey on the inside?

Yeah Yeah I like a bit of goo on the inside So it'd be like Your typical Cadbury caramel Yep But the outside's caramilk Yes Then you've got the caramel

But then a layer of a cream With biscuit through it You'd say that's yum Diabetes Diabetes But get through it. That's yum. A diabetes. Diabetes, but I mean it would last wouldn't it? Because you couldn't have that much. So what are they called again?

Slices. So there's like, they do a dairy milk Cadbury slices. There's one that's vanilla passion fruit. Oh yeah, I'm just googling now. Vanilla passion fruit. See a bit of passion fruit to cut through. But the caramut one isn't on. I'm just Googling now. Vanilla passion fruit. See, a bit of passion fruit to cut through. Yeah. But the caramut one isn't on, I'm not seeing it on any of the supermarket websites.

No, I know. I'm trying to find it. But someone's shared it. They must have only just come out. On the tocas of the tickets. See, I'm not about the vanilla passion fruit. I don't like that. See, I like passion fruit.

Oh, no. I like passion fruit. I'm not about that one. What are the other flavours? Having a look. Because I saw a couple on the stand, but I don't like that. See, I like passion fruit. Oh, no. I like passion fruit. What about that one? What are the other flavours? Having a look. Because I saw a couple on the stand, but I couldn't remember.

I didn't see a caramilk. Having a look at the TikTok shared of the caramilk version, that to me has the countdown font. Oh, okay. Yeah, right.

You know what I mean? But that could have been Woolies in Australia. Could have been Woolies in Australia. This could be in Australia. But we'll get it. Yeah.

It's only a matter of time. So they're just like... Well, we're at Caramel's testing ground, eh? Where are we? Like New Zealand isn't New Zealand. Like a lot of the time it's a little testing ground. So I'm seeing one that's a mint cream, like an old gold. Yeah, yeah.

That looks really good. Like an after-dinner mint. Yeah, and one that's a crackle, which looks like it's got like... Hedgehog. There's another one called hedgehog. Right. Okay, well, there you go.

I mean, as if we needed any more... Reason to eat chocolate. Are we like New Zealand and Australia? Because I feel like when you go overseas into supermarkets, we've got way more chocolates than lollies, right? We've got so many. We don't have as many lollies, though. When I was in Melbourne over the weekend, I was like,

man, they've got good lollies. I'd have chocolate over lollies any day. I'd have lollies over chocolate. Right. Perfect pairing. I'd have both. Well, you could have some of my lollies and you can have some of Vaughan's chocolate. No, no, no. You don't want to share your chocolate? You could have Some of my lollies And you can have Some of Vaughan's chocolate I don't want to

No no no You don't want to Chew your chocolate You could have the white You could have the white chocolate Oh no you could have Vaughan's lollies Because he doesn't like them as much

And you could have my chocolate Because I don't like it as much Are your partners The same like Aaron would eat like Dust off the floor Like he would Really

If I put it In front of him Because that would be perfect You get someone That doesn't like Caramel or white chocolate And they're never Going to eat your chocolate No we've been together Too long now if I put it in front of him. Because that would be perfect. You get someone that doesn't like caramel or white chocolate and they're never going to eat your chocolate.

No, we've been together too long now. We like the same things. Oh, okay. You've fused. You've merged. Yeah, into one person. God, that's sad, isn't it? Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. When was your last breakup? 2003. Okay. 20 years ago. 20 years ago. 20 years.

Wow. Which one was your last breakup? You've been off the market for so long. Yeah, dude. I'm one of those houses when it gets put back on the market. Bore up. It'll be like in the same family for generations. I can't remember a long time ago.

Yeah, same. Maybe I was 19, 20. Yeah. So what, 40 years ago? Jesus, that's a long time ago. No, that was like 13 years ago. Are you not 59 years old? No, I'm 33.

Okay. Dude, yesterday I was filming for our Reno page and every time the camera came on, I was like, what happened, man? What happened, eh? What do you mean? Life just happens. I know, and I just look tired and old.

Anyway, it's been a while for us, but breakups happen all the time. And apparently, according to a financial expert, we spend a lot when we get broken up with. We go on these splurges to make ourselves feel better. So not the fact that you need bond, because you've probably got to find your own place. Yeah, well, you need your bond back,

and then you need to find a new bond to move out. And then you probably need a few weeks for the new place. So can be anything to like, some people spend money on like a massage, big night out, my shout, because I'm depressed and I'm sad. Yeah. To like trips, trips away, like a massive,

you know, people getting divorced being like, right, I need to go to, let's go to Dubai. Yep. And just cut loose. My shower, I'm going to do this. And obviously at this time in the world, it's not good to be splurging money that we don't have on things that actually aren't going to make you feel any better. No.

They're going to make you temporarily feel better, but, you know, you've got to sit with these emotions. So what, they're calling it a breakup fund. Well, they're saying, these financial experts are saying, if you have a breakup or you are going to go through a breakup and you know it, set a budget. Yeah. So instead of just going, like, I'm going to have takeaways every night,

I'm going to do this and I'm going to get a boob job. Yeah. Okay. Make myself feel better. Set a budget and be like, right, I'm going to spend $500 on this breakup. And once that budget has been spent, I have recovered. And then I'm going to spend time

on the emotional thing. Right. Because it's not good. I don't think $500 would cover a breakup if you were going to do some emotional spending. Surely that would be lost in admin almost immediately. Well, like $400 is like one dress. You know what I mean? And I haven't even gone out for the night. Well, like $400, that's like one dress. You know what I mean?

And I haven't even gone out for the night. Well, no, no, I'm talking about like bond and like we said, finding a place to live. No, that's the boring side of it. This is more like the emotional, personal recovery. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. You admin stuff, that's a separate budget.

I think if you're smart about it as well, you'd start taking out money at the cash machine or the self-serve checkout at the supermarket. You're talking about an escape fund there. I'm talking about an escape fund and just putting that aside so that they can't get that in the break-up either. Yeah, I've got a small one. Is it in a shoebox? It's your used to account.

Yeah, right, okay. That is your actual GST account. Don't spend all that again and remember what happened last time. Yeah, because you know how the IRD keep wanting all the money and you're like, but it's mine. It's your actual GST account. Don't spend all that again and remember what happened last time. Yeah, because you know how the IRD keep wanting all the money and you're like, but it's mine. It's my money. Why did the person who employed me give me the GST if they didn't want me to have it?

What, they're going to give it to me and then I give it to you? They would just give it straight to the IRD if they wanted it. It does seem like a middleman, doesn't it? It does. GST is so confusing to me. Anyway, if you've got a breakup happening, set a budget. That's within your means. Yeah.

Be it $300, $500, $20. Could be, yeah. And just a massage. Yeah. Massaged. Get a massage. Get a massage and then move on. Don't spend any more money on this breakup. It's that easy when you break up.

It's that easy. It's really that easy. We don't know. We don't know. It's been years since we've up. It's that easy. It's really that easy. We don't know. We don't know. It's been years since we've been dumped. Look at us. We're so hot. Or you just bog down an admin.

It's impossible to leave, to be honest. That gets expensive. Yeah. Yeah, your budget would be hundreds of thousands of dollars. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Hello. Yesterday in Whangarei, a seal walked into Bunnings.

Just in. What a sizable seal. They captured it by moving a whole lot of, like, boxed appliances around it, making sort of like a makeshift cell to hold it there. Like a barricade. Until it could be removed. I hope someone cut the footage to the Bunnings ad. So some after hours, dock rangers came quickly

and removed the seal, put it in the back of their ute and took it back to the ocean. How was it big enough to lift onto a ute? Would they have put it on a tarp? One man lift, but you'd want to bend the knees and have the mouth somehow not in nippy form. Yeah, right. How far had it travelled to get into the Spunnings? I don't know.

Well, it's kind of, there's like lots of inlets and stuff around the harbour and stuff, isn't there? Yeah. So probably not too far. Yeah, they found it in Inwood Goods. No word on like exactly how many. Well, great that it can read though. Yeah, well, because you don't want it coming in the exit. It came in the outward.

Yeah. I can't stand that. I've got the top six things the seal wanted at Bunnings. Whangarei, number six on the exit. It came in the outward. Yeah. I can't stand that. I've got the top six things the seal wanted at Bunnings. Whangarei, number six on the list. He was looking for some high quality Heidi Klumba. Klumba. Do you know what's happening? Seal.

I'll tell you what's happening. It's a stretch is what's happening. He was a seal. It's a classic number six stretch. And he was looking for some Heidi Klumba. Seal. Heidi Klumba. I'd probably just go to number five.

Klumba. I'd probably just go to number five and hope it gets better. Nope. Number five on the list of the top six things a seal wanted at Bunnings Whangarei. Some fish and pie kelp appliances. Oh, no right. Nope. Number five on the list of the top six things the seal wanted at Bunnings Whangarei, some fish and pie kelp appliances. Oh, no. I see. I see.

You see what's happening here. I see. Yep. Number four on the list of the top six things the seal wanted at Bunnings Whangarei, a Bunnings sausage. Oh, yeah. We all want that.

A bit early, though. A bit early. That was 6 a.m. in the morning. It wasn't one of their tradie breakfast days. Would a sausage be okay for a seal? Absolutely. Yeah. It's just like horse meat. It breakfast days. Would a sausage be okay for a seal? Absolutely. Yeah. It's just like horse.

It's okay for you. It's okay for you. It's okay for the seal. Arguably, is it okay for you? It depends what kind of sausage they're rolling. Number three on the list of the top six things the seal wanted at Bunnings. One of those hats. Good hat, man.

Good hat. Wide straw hat. See, I think though, I really hope they took the moment to put a hat on, a little apron. Can you imagine? Oh, my God. The greenies are shit the bed. The greenies, as my mum still calls them.

Or put them in. They should have put it in that little mini kids trolley with the flag. Oh, yeah, yeah. The little car one. The little car one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep. And it would be like every other annoying kid at any massive hardware store. Me Yeah. Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep. And it would be like every other annoying kid at any massive hardware store. Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep. I just run them off the road. Push them, shunt them with my trolley. Move out of the way, I'm a seal. I'm a seal. Number two on the list of the top six things the seal wanted at Bunnings Whangarei.

Ironically, it wanted some silicon sealant. That's good good and number one on the list of the top six things the seal wanted at Bunnings Whangarei he wanted to know what row kisses were in

because he was looking for a kiss from the rose on the grey oh my god that just happened I have to admit I liked it

kiss from the rose on grey. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Right now it's time for the impossible phone-in topic, a topic we think is so impossible, we're going to get zero to no calls. Been a while. Yeah, it has.

Now, this is on the back of a woman who has been sharing her story. She calls herself the CEO of life. Right. Because she has survived death three times. She's cheated it. She's cheated it. Like, what kind of death? So, her name is Aria.

She lives in LA. She's 28 years old. And she's nearly died three times. So, she was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. Oh, wow. Okay. Now, that would be a scary diagnosis. And the word terminal

means it will terminate your life. And where the buses go. Yeah. And the airplanes. And the airplanes, yes. Yeah. So it means a number of things, but in her case it meant, not good, babe. There's a tumor on your brain.

However, she had 16 surgeries. 16? And multiple rounds of chemo and radiotherapy. Yeah. For this tumor, this terminal tumour, gone. So not terminal, she's in remission. Not terminal after all. Wow.

Right? Okay. So then she's like, phew, I'm absolutely nailing life. Nick Minna, she's diagnosed with a rare blood cancer. More surgeries. Okay. More rounds of chemo, told it was terminal. Nah.

She ain't going anywhere. Survived that as well. Yeah. So at this point, she's been given the all clear. At this point, somebody wants her dead. Someone's trying to do that. It feels like it. Something's coming for her.

So the brain cancer's gone. The blood cancer's gone. Routine checkup, she's all clear. She heads out on a trip to celebrate with her friends and gets in a near fatal car crash. So it was really, really bad. She had detached her skull from her spine. What?

Oh my God, I didn't even know that was possible. Occipital bone had shattered into pieces. Oh my god. Broken all of her ribs on the right side. Had no sight or speech initially. Ripped open her colon as well as her lower intestine which caused internal bleeding. Wait, and she's not dead after all of this?

Yeah. She must have so many stamps on her hospital card. Like, not only that, like, she and now she's got, like, a full, like, metal... Halo. Metal thing attaching her head

to her spine again. Oh, my God, fathers. And not only that, like, she learnt how to walk, talk, eat, and she's actually fine. She's not going to be allowed in the Zorb,

I'll tell you that much, right now. The Zorb? Yeah, she won't be allowed to go Zorbing. No, she can't go Zorbing. Because of her neck. No, she couldn't.

She won't be able to go bungee jumping. If I'd survived death three times like this woman, I'd just sit at home. All I'd want to do would to go zorbing. No, she can't go zorbing. Because of her neck. No, she couldn't. She won't be able to go bungee jumping. If I'd survived death three times like this woman, I'd just sit at home. All I'd want to do would be zorbing. I know. I'd ask them to make an exception. You would long to zorb.

I'd sign the waiver. I'd sign the waiver. Doc, when can I zorb again? I'd want the warm water. Yeah. Actually, I think if you had water in your zorb, you'd just slide around. Slide around.

And more water. Yeah, okay. Now, due to her triple run-in withorb, you'd just slide around. Slide around. And more water. Yeah, okay. Now, due to her triple run-in with death. How old is she? 28 years old. How have a life she has been through, though? And it's done the opposite. I mean, I think some people would go, okay, I need to just like.

Never leave the house. Never leave the house. She's the opposite. She's like living the best life ever. It's like giving her this whole thing. And she calls herself the CEO of living because she's nailing it. She actually is. So I wanted to know for our impossible phoner,

our impossible phoner, have you cheated death? I'll take more than once. Okay, more than, yeah, because... Did death come for you at least twice and you said, not today, Satan? Because what about when that... Not today, Satan.

I think death works as an independent agent. Yeah, I think Satan's a private contract not today, Satan. Because what about when that... Not today, Satan. I think death works as an independent agent. Yeah, I think Satan's a private contract. Oh, okay. The Grim Reaper. Is he? You better be doing this taxes. The Grim Reaper brings them to Satan, I believe is how it works.

Okay, well, not today, Grimmy. Do you remember that time the pot plant nearly crushed my head in when I fell from the apartment? Yeah, literally right in front of my face. How tall did it fall? I don't know, but it shattered on the ground. It would have definitely knocked me out. I mean, I won't take...

Maybe it's more of a near miss. If it had hit you and you had to survive, for me, that's one. That's cheating. I want to know, maybe you have had some horrendous illness. We did as an impossible phone-a-once, have you died?

Oh, my God. And then come back. Literally. And so many people called. My favourite thing. That would still not be enough, though. You would want people to have been cheating death more than once. Yeah, maybe you have given a terminal diagnosis more than once

and then you said, not today, Grimmy. Yeah, not today, Grimmy. Maybe you... Grimmas? Grimmas? Grimmy? No, not Grimmas. Show Sponsor was nothing to do with the Grim Reaper. No, we don't want to associate him. Grimmy brings the nugs.

Okay. Not today, Grim Reaper. Yeah. It's his birthday. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The impossible phone-in topic, a topic that we think is so impossible,

we're not going to, well, we're going to struggle to get calls. We have never actually come up completely dry on these. We've come close. And this is our genuine intention, to have no one respond. However, that is not the case today. We wanted to know if you have survived

cheated death at least more than once. There was a woman who calls herself the CEO of life after cheating death, two terminal brain cancers and a near fatal crash in which her head came off her neck. She's still alive, living her best life. She should be dead, really.

Like, she has cheated it well and truly. She's a cat. Did I mention she was a cat? No, it's a human being. Nine lives. Christy, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you? Good, thank you. Christy, we're so happy you're here. Yeah, I mean, you're calling because you believe you've cheated death.

I've cheated death twice on the same accident. So what happened? Tell us the story. So I was 13 years old and I had an obsession of being up as high as I possibly could get. Up a tree and such. Oh my, did you see that? Is he a free climber or that guy that always goes up tall buildings and hangs off the side? He like fell off. 68 stories. Yeah. Is he dead?

Nah, he's dead. He's quite flat. I no longer have that obsession now. Okay, good. I climbed this tree that was the height of a two-story building. Yeah. One of the branches that I was pulling myself up on had snapped

and I obviously fell and I hit every single branch on the way down. And I knocked myself out and woke up. And the branch that had fallen that was literally twice the size of my head had landed not even two fingers away from my head. Oh, my God. It would have crushed your skull in.

It would have crushed me. And because of where I'd fallen, no one would have found me. Wow, okay. So that was the first thing. Right. I thought that was both. I thought the fall and then the missing the branch, I thought that was both.

No, I guess you could call it three times then. The other one was because, obviously, I had snapped both bones in my right arm and had to have surgery to get steel plates in. I'd also bled out on the table and had initially died for less than a minute and they brought me back to life. Oh my God, you died. You died.

We've got to double. We've got to double. You have died and also you cheated death. Wow. And now you don't, you like heights? You're comfortable with them? Absolutely hate it. And the funny part is,

is I'm actually not exactly a short person either. I'm six foot one now. Wow. So you're afraid, even when you stand up, it's quite scary. It's a bit much. It's a bit much. Christy, we're so glad you're here.

Christy, yeah, thank you so much for your call. Callie, how many times have you cheated death? Morning, yeah. Much, much. Christy, we're so glad you're here. Christy, yeah, thank you so much for your call. Callie, how many times have you cheated death? Morning, guys. How's it going? Good, thank you. Yeah, really good, thanks. Okay, so I want to say that I call myself the cat because my count is five. Five?

Five times cheated death. At two years old, I was burnt really badly to half my body. I fell back onto a fireplace. Oh my God. Yep, and then my childhood was relatively sweet after that,

but at 17, I got hit by a car. Okay, that's two, I'm counting. Somehow, I miraculously came away like pretty unscathed.

Okay. 2012, so I would have been 23, maybe 22. Yep. I had a motorbike accident and drove off a 30-metre cliff. Whoa! Surely that would have been the one. All right, Tom Cruise, calm down. I mean, Tom Cruise had a base jumping parachute at least.

I was on the back end of a farm on a trail ride and I had a head injury for 10 months and couldn't do my job. Oh, my God. Because that was the fourth one. What's the fifth one? Oh, no, that was just the third. That was the third one on the bike. Oh, okay.

Wow. Still on the, okay. Yeah, and then 2013, I was diagnosed off the bike. Oh, okay, wow. Still on, okay. Yeah, and then 2013, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Oh, my God. Did you just roll your eyes at that point and be like, of course I have. Of course I've got breast cancer.

Like, surprise. Oh, my God. That was my quarter life crisis. And then due to the chemo in 2014, I had an anaphylactic reaction to a prawn salad. And I live in the middle of nowhere, so it took 40 minutes for an ambulance to arrive. I thought Kelly died already. You've used up five lives, Kelly.

So pretty good inings, and I'm counting my four lives I've got left. Wow. I'd use them sparingly. Kelly, yeah, I'd stay inside. I'd be so limited if one of my lives got used on a shrimp salad. Yes. Not worth it. The protein's not worth it.

Kelly, thank you so much for your call. Ids, good morning. Good morning. How many lives have you used? Three. But I'll focus on the, not the recent one, but it's like 30 years ago, we had like one fine weekend in the beach in Philippines, family outing. We heard some gunshots.

Okay. And apparently there's two political parties like in coup having like crossfire and we caught in the middle of it. Don't be in the middle of that. Could you imagine Labor and National getting the guns out and going down to the beach? Yeah. Wild.

So we were like, sorry, we're not part of this, you know, political party. We were like, have our hands up. And then we had to basically run to the bushes to hide ourselves. Yeah. And yeah, the next day we heard that like like, there's, like, eight people died. So, yeah, we all, our family survived. But, yeah, it was so scary. Oh, my God.

Wow. Okay. I feel like you used up about nine lives there. Yeah. Jeez. I wouldn't hide. And my mom was pregnant at that time to my sister, A. Yeah.

Wow. Oh, my God. I'm so glad you guys were okay. Yes. Yeah. Managed to migrate to New Zealand. Yeah. Oh my God. Wow. We're not at that stage of political arguments yet.

No, not yet. No. We're the ones that are here. It's amazing. Thank you for sharing. Let's go to some messages to finish up. My granddad just wouldn't die. He was told in 1992 that he wouldn't make my first Christmas, defied two cancers and a triple bypass surgery, where he was told he wouldn't even survive the anesthesia. Anesthesia, am I saying that right?

Anesthetic? Yeah, I think so. Anesthesia. He lived till he was 93. He lived for 25 more years. The doctors ended up bringing the interns around to his room at the hospital, saying, read his chart and tell me how he's still alive.

Wow. It was that sort of, they could not explain it. Wow. Can't chat on the phone. I've had three near-death experiences. When I was three,

I was hit by a car. At 10, I survived my beard catching fire while I was sleeping on it. Electric blanket. Oh my God, they were bad back in the day.

Electric blanket. They've got better. But you lit them on fire. He blanket. Oh my God, they were bad back in the day. Yeah. Electric blanket. They've got better. But you like lit them on fire. They're still a slow cooker. And I was in a car in my 20s, in my early 20s that got flipped off a cliff

at 100 kilometres an hour. Walked away without injury somehow. Man, it is so great that people are still able to listen to the radio show because a lot of them should be dead.

Yes, it's great. We're really great for our numbers. We really appreciate the listeners, yeah. Oh, it's great. We're really great for our numbers. We really appreciate the listeners. The man flew once and I thought, man, I'm going to meet the big fella upstairs.

Yeah. And everybody scoffed at it. I nearly died and then a few years later I got it again. Thoughts and prayers. Yeah, thoughts and prayers. True survivor. These are wild stories. Thank you so much for sharing. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Paddy Gower has had lots of issues. We've looked at alcohol. We've looked at drugs. We've looked at all sorts. And now we're looking at something that probably, I imagine quite a few of our listeners are actually doing, Paddy Gower vaping.

Yeah, and they're probably vaping right now, actually. Yeah, man. Whether they're listening to this in the car or at work or wherever, we know that people are just vaping so much in New Zealand these days, it's actually pretty freaky how much people vape. Because we thought it was okay. I pretty freaky how much people vape because we thought it was okay i say we i don't vape but in general we thought it was the better option right yeah and it is the better option so if anybody who's listening who used to smoke and is now vaping i say that's fantastic um and i say that coming from someone my my mother actually was

addicted to smoking she died of lung cancer vaping wasn't around and you know i used to watch her try and give up try and you know hypnotism and patches and gum and you know everyone will will know the sort of stories of people going outside and smoking in the pouring down rain or going to hospital and seeing people smoking and that's that nicotine addiction is what did that and when you see people vape who who used to smoke that's fantastic because that's what it's there for but it's when you see people who never smoked and were probably never going to smoke completely addicted to vaping that's wild to me it's crazy yeah because you

weren't replacing smoking with vaping you were just vaping yeah you were just starting adding a new addiction yeah yeah sort of no valuable reason and what we found in this documentary i go to america and talk to a lot of experts and scientists over there and we don't know yet what vaping is going to do to our lungs and to our brains i'm gonna ask if you knew because that's the whole debate right it's too young we don't know the long-term effects. Yeah yeah we don't know what it's going to do particularly to you know because we've got kids out there who are 12 or younger that are starting vaping right now so we don't know what that will do to their brains you know because their brains develop so quickly we don't know what it will do to their lungs and we don't have that sort of depth of

knowledge of of what's going to things are going to be like in 30 years time or 40 years time or 50 years time the scientists do know that it's most likely much better than smoking because you don't have the actual smoke going into your lungs you know which which causes a lot of the cancer but we don't really know what vaping's going to do and what what scared me the most honestly was going to america and finding out that they are clamping down on vaping in a lot of the states over there including california and when america clamps down on something you know guns that you're sitting you can buy guns here but you guys don't like vaping like what's going on like you know so so america's america is clamping down on it. And it was fascinating.

I actually did some of the testing that they did on one of the first vapes, which was a vape called The Jewel, which was a really popular. Yes, yeah, I remember it. And that was actually tested, believe it or not, here in Christchurch. And when they did the testing, they thought it was amazing because they were looking for something to stop people from smoking. They weren't thinking about a mess. Right.

You know, so they were like, this is it. And I do the very same test, which is I have to smoke a cigarette, which wasn't very enjoyable, and they take some blood testing, and then I have to have a hoon on a vape. They do some blood testing. And the graph that they show you shows that the exact amount of nicotine that you get from a cigarette is replicated by a vape. Yeah, right.

That's why they're so good at stopping people from smoking because you get the same nicotine hit. Yeah. But that's why they're so damn addictive. Yeah. You know, when you're vaping, it's like you're smoking a cigarette and you get that same nicotine addiction. Also, the thing in the hand, like that's the thing with vapers,

everyone who I know who vapes, it's almost constantly in the hand or in the pocket or pretty close. And like I notice that people who vape, who used to be smokers, now vape in places where they wouldn't smoke. That's right. That's right. At night, in bed, da-da-da-da. Yeah, it's very specific.

Are you thinking of anybody? The person I sleep next to. No, but for me I go I was I'm extremely proud of Aaron because he it made him quit smoking but yeah

I was always like oh you know it feels like you're vaping more yeah and I think people are vaping more than when they used to smoke than when they would smoke because it was too much effort

and you do see this you'll sort of be at work and you'll notice that one of your colleagues has had a quick hoot on a vape you know just around you or whatever because they because they can yeah or something like that you know and i was out to dinner over the weekend and you know a friend of mine vapes and then i could

see that once he started drinking he was starting to have a few hoons on his vape at a at a sort of table in a restaurant type thing you know and it's sort of like it's starting to really sort of creep into this sort of social social side of to really sort of creep into this social social side of things as well so are there any studies like early studies that say it's bad yep there are right you know there's you know there's studies that are now starting to show that it's bad for the brain um you know we've got all these sort of pathways that people know about you know neural pathways and it affects that it affects it affects those because if you think about it you know you're going to have young people gaining an addiction you know at a really young age and it's doing

funny things to their brains and then of course there's issues with the lungs around popcorn lung and different things yeah you know and you don't need to be a sort of scientist to figure out that the only thing that should be going into your lungs is fresh air that is the only thing that should be going into your lungs is fresh air. That is the only thing that should be going in there. So vaping like we are now, like people are now, where you're pumping something in there. And look, the ESR in New Zealand has done tests on it. I went down and had a look at some of the stuff they've found. They've found saliva, human saliva in some of the vapes that they've tested.

That's right. Yuck. If you think about it, you don't know anything about the vape juice that you're getting. You don't know where it's come from. You don't know who's made it. Why is it spitting it? Why is it spitting it?

Spitting it, Paddy. Who's spitting it? Yeah, but, you know, the standards are really low. Yeah. There's no sort of person monitoring who makes the vape juice. You know, you don't know where your vape juice came from. You really don't. I never even thought about where the vape juice comes from know, you don't know where your vape juice came from. You really don't. I never even thought about where the vape juice comes from.

It had to be. Producer Jared, do you know where your vape juice comes from? I actually don't. No, of course you don't. Is any of this putting you off? The popcorn lung doesn't sound fun. He thought it was from the Marlborough region because this is grape flavor. He loves it.

A little side hustle for some of the wineries. Absolutely, darlingeries so is this just a one-eap or a series okay this is this is a what this is a one episode tonight I make my own vape juice it's called PG you know patty gow or parental guidance you would never be parental guidance to have never vape. Do you spit in it? I don't spit in it, but it is raspberry lamington flavoured. Yeah! Fletcher's going to start vaping! Don't hate it, are you? You're going to make me stop vaping.

Yeah, well, I was in Levin and I went into a bakery before I went to make the vape juice and sitting there was these raspberry lamingtons, which I like as well. So when I got into the vape factory, they were like, what flavour do you want? And that was the first thing that came to mind. Yeah.

And of course, it's pretty easy to make a vape juice and vape flavouring. You know, we just chucked some raspberry and some coconut in there. Coconut, yeah. And then next minute we had laminate and flavoured vape juice. Was it delicious? I mean, I know you're not trying to promote it. Printed a label and we were away. It was delicious.

But then we sort of had to sort of open up this giant it like canister of nicotine with the with the full protective gear and sort of haul it out and kind of pull that in and that did sort of watching that kind of go in and knowing you know the poison sort of written all over and all this sort of thing and watching that nicotine go in kind of put me off yeah yeah so now i have to eat chocolate lamingtons literally the ingredients coming from a poison container that's right warning that's right wow and it's sold in dairies and so everywhere it's crazy what else is in it then is it just liquid nicotine and a bit of flavor liquid nicotine a bit of flavor and you know there's stuff in there like It's called sort of VG

It's a vegetatable glycol Which is what comes out of smoke machines You know when you make The cloud, like a disco That's what helps make the cloud So they're not overly complicated Sort of things to make So there's really low

Like if I can make it Anybody, if anybody can make it, anybody, if anybody can. And how cooked was it when like dairies to sell vapes, what was the deal? They had to change their signage. So all the dairies just changed, they'd put a name of a vape shop on the end, which then pretty much just advertised it more than ever.

That was a weird misstep, I felt. And we've got, there's more shosha you know shosha is a brand of vape shops yeah there's more of those in new zealand than kfc now so there's more the shosha chain yeah is bigger than kfc wow that's that's the point and that's just one chain yeah and everybody knows there's more more vape shops in poor areas than in rich areas which just tells it it tells its own story as well you know you go somewhere knows there's more vape shops in poor areas than in rich areas, which just tells its own story as well. You go somewhere poor, there's heaps of vape shops.

It's like liquor as well. So we've seen this movie before with cigarette smoking, with alcohol and everything, and here we are doing it again. And you think in the future we might look back and go like we did with cigarettes when they were prescribed by doctors and go, how embarrassing. We were so stupid. Well, I feel that I'm doing that now from what I've seen. And, you know, going to America where it's been taken over by the big tobacco companies, they are the ones pushing vaping now, and we know that we can't trust them.

So what does that tell you about it? So, yeah, I do think it has been a mistake. Fascinating. And excited to see this tonight. What time on 3? That'll be at 7.30 p.m. on 3, or people can get it on 3 now as well. Yeah.

So, you know, people can watch it. If they vape, they need to watch it. If they're worried about their kids vaping, parents can watch it with their kids. You know, everyone really needs to get in and have a look at it because there isn't a great deal of information or there's no information really out there and i can just tell by the way that i'm talking with you guys like how your eyes are lighting up it feels like you would have been

around for party pills in the mid 2000s it feels like party pills it was this wild west of everyone's just importing these pills from god knows where literally selling them in the dairy and he was just taking them and not asking questions. And then when the questions start getting asked, the government's like, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Can I ask one more question? Because I don't know if Patty and I actually share a hairdresser. Has Shari given you a mullet? Yeah, she's given me a mullet.

Look at this. It's very good. It's a cute little one. It's a fashion mullet. It's a cute little one, and it's my third mullet. I had one when I was 13. I had one in my 20s, and now I'm in my 40s. So it's my third mullet. I had one when I was 13. I had one in my 20s, and now I'm in my 40s, so it's my third mullet.

I reckon I've got, I think, you know, every Kiwi male should have four or five in a lifetime. Okay. So I'm sort of on track. It could be your next doco, Padigawa on mullets. Yeah. The school fundraiser is happening this weekend. We did this last year.

God, it was a boozy night, wasn't it? Your wife nearly purchased a car park. Yeah. Because they have auctions, little auctions. Because the whole idea is to raise money for the little school. Well, no, it's to raise money to take kids to the sports camp that couldn't otherwise afford to go to the sports camp. Right.

Because it's something that's charity. Aren't we good? Too much to, yeah. Have they got more than one toilet this year? Because I might have to weigh on the science block again. I think I took a little wheeze outside at one point. You took a wheeze outside? Like later in the evening.

I felt terrible for urinating on your kids' school's buildings, but get more than one toilet. You don't also have to urinate on a building when you urinate outside. You could urinate into, like, the gutter or whatever. Well, I needed some hiding. Something to lean on. Something to lean on, yes.

See, last year we wore double denim, which was easy because everyone has denim. Because the whole thing is dress up. You buy a table. You can bring your own food, eh, and drinks. Yeah, food and booze. And then there's, like, money to be won, auctions. You can buy things. I mean, we got pretty loose. It's food and booze. And then there's like money to be won, auctions, you can buy things.

We got pretty loose. It's a quiz night. It's a quiz night. Yeah. It was great fun. It was great fun. But this year, we've been signed up again. There's a group chat and it's bing, bing, bing, bing. It's going off.

I've muted it. I've muted it as I do all my group chats. Shade was so livid with everybody who obviously just muted it. I know, because you're off, because she was trying to organise the costumes. I know. She's like, no one's answering me. I was like, well, just screw them. Leave them to their own devices then.

They can take care of themselves. So now, yesterday in the group chat, we're all going as minions, which I love minions. You do. And I'm like, well, Hayley's going to buy me a yellow T-shirt and then I just wear blue jeans, which I have, white shoes, done. Maybe we get some suspenders and some silly glasses. Sade's already organised glasses and suspenders and beanies.

Yeah, so that's done. Yeah. And then yesterday people were like, oh, Fletch has to be Gru. No, it was agreed to. I don't want to be Gru. You're going to be Gru. You're the perfect Gru. Who loves minions more than Gru?

We love minions. And so does Gru. He's got a team of them. And you need someone to stand at the You're the perfect Gru. Who loves minions more than Gru? We love minions. And so does Gru. He's got a team of them. And you need someone to stand at the front of the table and yell, tonight we're going to steal the moon. And then all the minions go, yay. But I don't. Someone needs to be Gru.

It's just easier for me. I have blue jeans. Hayley's going to buy me a yellow T-shirt. And then I said in the group chat, oh, look, ha-ha, but I've got a t-shirt and jeans. Hayley's getting me a t-shirt. No, because all grewers, black shoes, you've got it. Boots, you've got boots. Black jeans, you've got it.

I've got it. Black jacket, you've got it. Or I've got a black jacket that looks like Gru's jacket. No cap. And then Ryan, who's coming, he said... I've got a scarf. He's got a black and grey shirt. So now you've got the Gru outfit. I don't want to be Gru. I want to be a minion. I'm Bob. He's got a black and grey scarf. So now you've got the Gru outfit.

I don't want to be Gru. I want to be a minion. I'm Bob. Someone's got to be Gru. We can't be a bunch of lost minions. Yes, we can. We need someone to tell them what to do. You saw the original Minions movie.

They were absolutely lost at sea without Gru. They were lost at sea without Gru. But I don't want to be Gru. Can't you be Gru? No, I'm not involved in the team. I'm hosting the, I'm asking the questions of the quiz. Gru doesn't have a beard. I've got a beard and I'm not getting rid of my beard to be Gru. Can't you be Gru? No, I'm not involved in the team. I'm hosting the, I'm asking the questions of the quiz. Gru doesn't have a bed. I've got a bed and I'm not getting rid of my bed to be Gru.

You're Gru through and through. Aaron said yesterday, he was like, am I a minion as well? Yellow's not for me. And I was like, dude, yes. He will be the tallest minion in existence. You've got blue jeans. A yellow t-shirt. Yeah.

A beanie. He's going to be the minions. He's a minion. He's a minion and you've got to be Gru. I say yellow but it looks good on me. Now I've got to dress black and grey and have a scarf. Look, I'm going to get you the T-shirt just in case you chicken out of being the old one out at our table. Don't even give him the option because he will chicken out.

He's got to be Gru. Right. Now, are you worried about expenditure this year? I'm going to, because you know me. When I'm with Sade, we sync up in a different way. Our thirst syncs up. And I feel like we might all start hitting the rosés

and I want that car park. That's the thing. People get drunk and they try to buy these things. You guys can buy the car park, absolutely. But we're not paying for a car park. Because most of the time I do school pick up, I don't need a car park. I just park outside.

What if you wanted to pop in? It's a pain in the... You've got to go down the school thing, and there's potholes down the... They should spend the money from the quiz night of fixing the potholes on the driveway, but you've got to go down the driveway and park out the back,

and then getting out, so hassle with traffic. I just park on the side of the road. I don't want the car park. Some lady outbid everybody last year and won that car park. The school did well out of that. Yeah, I know, and we tried, man,

but we made her pay. You tried to get that right along with the fire department because you're the hot fireman. I got sent the... Is there another one of those? Are there hot firemen again this year that Hayley can bid on? I got sent the auction. So Nellie and Ryan also bid on them, didn't they?

Can you forward it to the group so we can... Also, it should be worth noticing, when we were talking about possible costumes, Maddie was really pushing the Barbie. This is TVNZ's Maddie McLean. I suggested Barbie and Ken as just an alt. He was really good. He's got a whole Barbie outfit.

He wore it to the premium. And he looked good. He'd look good. Okay, hold on. Here's the other one. There's a fire engine ride. See, here you go. This is your chance to get in with the firemen.

I'm supporting the kids. It should also be noted that there's a kids party pack, which is a pirate or a princess party for up to 10 kids. You should just win that and just have it. My birthday in October. Steal the joy from the children. It's like not that far away. Love it.

Clay. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I retrieved this article from the NZ Herald, my chosen source of news. And it was an article on, it was kind of looking at Queen Camilla and Liz Hurley and like the famous exes, right? You know, the ones that are always kind of around and in there. And they put it down to seven different types of exes. Now, they say the gold star end of the ex spectrum is holidaying exes.

Oh, yeah. So exes that might still go on holidays together, exes that might maybe, if you've got kids and we're going to go to Raro. If you've got kids. You want to have like a family memory for them. I was just imagining like, your partner would be like, you know who would be great to go on holiday with? My ex.

Yes. And your partner's like, um... Why? Would they be great to go on holiday with? But then Yes. And your partner's like, uh-huh. No. Why? Would they be great to go on holiday? But then sometimes that works. Yeah. You know, if there are kids involved in... If there's kids involved, yeah. Like family,

I love it when you hear about split families having Christmas together. Love that. Then there's your working together exes. So maybe you met in the workplace or you ended up in the same workplace and then you split and you still work together.

You know, that's a normal thing. Radio's had a lot of that, hasn't it? Yeah. Well, you've got to make it work or someone's got to get a new job, don't they? Yeah, exactly. Then there's the can't be in the same room exes. That's pretty straightforward. Normally this is where some cheating was involved or someone was wronged.

Yeah, someone's got to be wronged. Or someone's got some issues that they can't sort through. One of you really stuffed up, if not both of you. Then there's the living together exes. I've got a friend that does this. Especially now though because it could be, you might not be able to sell your place if you're split. So you just

have to make it work. You take a room each and that's it. Plenty of people do that. Yeah, or like kids, you know, like why not keep the family together? You can take a lover. Invited to the wedding exes. We've talked about this a little bit. When the ex gets to come to the wedding, why not? Absolute best

of friend exes. Yeah. I'm like very close with one of my exes and two of them I'd call a mate. If I saw them at a party, I'd be like, good fun. Yeah. But you don't have anyone at the really bad end of the spectrum? Nah.

What about that DJ that didn't pick you up? Yeah, screw you Robbie. DJ Robbie. DJ Robbie didn't pick you up from Wellington. I wouldn't call him an ex. He was here for a short time. God, that was so rude. That was so rude. He's just doing weddings. I would call him an ex. He was here for a short time. Okay, right. Yeah. God, that was so rude. That was so rude.

It was so rude. It was 5 a.m., man. Yeah. He said he'd pick you up. Just saying. Anyway, and then there's proud to be part of the club exes. Advertising someone's exes credentials. Like, you're, like, proud that, like, I used to be with them.

Because they're really hot. Yeah, they're, like, super hot. Look at them. They're really, really cool. I did that Yeah yeah yeah That one? That's me

He wanted me for a while Anyway I wanted to know What kind of ex you and your ex are Oh humble listener Because maybe you fit within this club Maybe you've got a strange relationship with your ex That doesn't quite fit into these seven exes I want to hear those stories

Yeah where maybe you're dating someone new And they find it or just couldn't deal with the fact that you are friends with your ex. Yeah, and they're like people struggle to comprehend your relationship. Yeah. Why are you still so close? Why wouldn't you just be together? Well, maybe there's an ex you go out of your way to avoid

on the regular. Yeah. You were that kind of ex. Maybe don't ring up with your restraining order ex. You know? Not so light-hearted, is it? Yeah, let's not do the regular. Yeah. You were that kind of ex. Maybe don't ring up with your restraining order ex. You know? That's an excellent idea. It's not so light hearted, is it? No. Yeah, let's not do the legal side of things.

But yeah, maybe it's a really sort of weird, bad or good relationship. Is there anyone that holidays with their ex? Yeah, why would you? Because you're friends now. You could both be single. Yeah, maybe. And holiday together. Well, that's what we want to know.

Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. We want to talk about the relationship you have with your ex, be it weird, good, great, too close, or terrible. Well, yeah, some people can't deal when they get together with someone and they're still friends with their ex. Yeah. Yeah.

I would say my last, like, proper boyfriend before Aaron is one of my friends I hang out with the most. And never any spark there? You don't? Yeah, I mean, I'm in love with him still. Oh, no. Oh, my God. What have I said? We're on the radio.

Crystal, good morning. Good morning. Now, you're close with not your ex, but his family. Yeah. So I still talk quite regularly with his parents, especially his mum. She gives me, like, regular updates about the family, about how they went over to, I think it was Hong Kong recently. Wow. In what context are you chatting?

What, do you ring each other? No, just on Messenger. Why? But she's only had three sons and I was the first kind of girlfriend. So it was always like I was part of the family and a daughter kind of way. Yeah, like the daughter she never had and also maybe the one that got away.

The one that got away and the one that mum wants. And so does your ex now have someone new? Yes. And does mum like her? Yeah, she definitely does. Okay. Still got that quite close relationship, which I think is great. That's cool.

And okay, and people don't find, like, have you ever had boyfriends and they're like, this is weird, you talk to your ex's mum? No, like, my partner at the moment, like, he just thinks it's funny because, you know, it just shows that whatever went down wasn't my fault. Yeah. It just makes it quite nice because we laugh about it every now and then. Yeah. Yeah, nice.

Refreshing. It's a refreshing take. If I was the boy though, if I was the guy, wouldn't you just be like, mum, please stop. Yeah. It would make my new girlfriend feel really weird. Get on board with Crystal, my new girlfriend. Crystal, thanks. You called Matt.

She was Crystal. I just made that up. Matt. Hi, guys. You're still friends with your ex? I am. Okay, and do people find that weird? Yes, some do. Okay.

I think it makes a little bit more sense in my case. Okay, so how are you still kind of connected? Well, we have kids together. Yeah, that's definitely connected. But a few years ago, I worked out that I was gay. Oh, yeah, that'll do it. Oh, plot twist. Man, that'll really do it.

How'd you work that out? On paper with a pencil or? Carry the one, carry the one. An abacus. Yeah, yeah. An abacus. That's actually how I came out too. Because did you put all of your things to the left and then it was like gay?

Yeah. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, miscalculated. And then they were later right in the middle. Yeah, right. Okay. Wow, okay. That's one of those online quizzes one day, you know. Buzzfeed.

A Buzzfeed quiz. Which sexuality are you? Yeah, which? This should be interesting. Which Friends character are you? And then it was like gay. Which gay are you? Which one was that?

What? Gunther. So confused. Oh oh Gunther loved Jen oh yeah wow yeah okay wow so and still connected like are you

like with kids yeah so we live next door to each other there's a hole there's a hole in the fence what now Matt

I don't know what kind of hole are we talking about gay men should be talking about holes in fences oh no what have I done

not one of those ones look I was going to say no one doesn't like her there's gaps You're looking at a hole that we talked about. Gay men should be talking about holes in fences. Oh, no. What have I done? Not one of those ones. Look, I was going to say. No one doesn't like her. There's gaps in the fence that kind of destroys the whole property. It destroys the whole premise. You can probably put your eye out and see the face. Now, that's not what we're meant to do.

No. Can you change my name to Anonymous? Yeah, absolutely. Anonymous. It's too late for that. Matt Anonymous. Matt Anonymous. Matt Anonymous.

Okay, good for you. Good for you bloody finding that. Totally, dude. You get to be by your kids. You get to share responsibilities of parenting and be friends with your ex. And you've got a glory hole in the fence. And you've got a hole in the fence. Come on, let's knock the glory hole in the fence. Everyone wants to be Matt.

Thank you, anonymous. Sorry, Matt-nonymous. Sorry, Matt-nonymous. Matt-nonymous. I'm still friends with the Meeks from high school. So 10 years ago. She's really good friends with them. My mum often comes and hangs out.

She's not married, but my now girlfriend will hang out, and she's cool with it too. Yeah, I love that. So that's good. My son's dad and I spend Christmases and my son's birthday together. The three of us had a three-week trip overseas, playing the year COVID hit that we haven't managed to take yet, and I even stayed with him for a while when I was going through a marriage bust up.

Oh, no. That's good. Yeah. I think when you've got kids in this situation, you've got to put a bit more effort into it all being civil. Yes. Any baddies? Any baddies?

No, not really. Oh, we're mature, eh? Mature audience. Yeah. Well, you did ask for people not to call about the restraining orders, so. We're fishing through those. Yeah. Well, you did ask for people not to call about the restraining orders. We're fishing through those. Yeah. A gay farmer has messaged in.

This is the show's gay farmer. Does he know about Matt's hole in the fence? No. Might like to check it out. On a farm, the fences are all seven wire fences or electric fences. You don't want to be tangoing with that. Okay. Is this the only gay farmer? The only gay farmer. Okay, fantastic.

My boyfriend is best friends with my now ex-wife, which I find a bit weird. He's got an ex-wife as well. Hang on, my boyfriend is best friends with his ex-wife. With my now ex-wife. How many guys have been getting out the abacus? Yeah, I know. And switching teams. Fantastic.

You've got to try it, you know. Even if you know you're gay, you've got to try it. Wonderful things. Yeah, right. Oh, my God. I was the cheater in the relationship. Together for 12 years, two kids.

Now ex-cantor, my wedding. We're great friends now. Better than when we were together. And that's true. Some people are just better friends than they were. Even though you're naughty. Lovers. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, a last minute change of tact. Oh, okay. But tomorrow I will use the fact that the day that I had, that's right, that involves horses. Okay. Tomorrow. But a last minute change today to a fact about Pee Wee Herman.

Oh. Because Paul Rubens has died. The man that played Pee Wee Herman had been battling cancer for six years and didn't tell anybody. Because he said he didn't want people to remember him that way. There's a statement on... I get that though. There's a statement his family put on his Instagram account

that he didn't want to be remembered that way. He wanted to be remembered as Pee Wee Herman. Not in any other way. Right. I was never really a fan. He was 70 years of Pee Wee Herman. Did you not watch Pee Wee's Big Adventure when you were like a kid? Yeah, definitely.

It was one of the greatest movies. And then large Marge in the truck and she's like, and it looked like this. And I was just like. Did you say it was lowbrow? It was lowbrow. Too lowbrow. I think it was lowbrow. You're betterbrow. Too lowbrow. It was lowbrow.

You're better than that. Better than Pee Wee Herman. Or maybe he lasted the test of time, had a run on Broadway. Doing what? As Pee Wee Herman. He was in Cheech and Chong movies. I'm sorry, yeah. I'm sorry. I can't wait for the horses tomorrow.

Yeah. He was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Was he? Matilda. This weird movie in the late 90s starring Ben Stiller called Mystery Men. Did you ever watch that? No.

Real weird movie. They all had like weird superpowers in it. But today's fact of the day is that Pee Wee Herman, the character invented by Paul Reubens, actually came to him in the moment during improv. He was part of the famous Groundlings cast, which most of the people on Saturday Night Live, massive, massive stars all came up through the Groundlings.

Lisa Kudrow, Conan O'Brien, Will Ferrell. I mean, most of the major comedy stars that you would know would have done their time at either Second City or the Groundlings and then on to Saturday Night Live and then on to bigger things. But yeah, it just came to him just as if you've ever been to an improv show, basically a premise and then a whole bunch of people who were described at school as the arts types just come on, tap each other on the shoulder and try to outdo each other for about half an hour. Right. And he just said he was about to go on stage once and it just kind of came to him and he walked out there and did Pee Wee Herman

and the crowd just like stopped and just sort of like, and he was like, I think I'm onto something special. Yeah. Wow. And then did Pee Wee Herman. Yeah. So today's fact of the day, on the day that we lost Paul Rubens at the age of 70

and Pee Wee Herman, is that Pee Wee Herman, the character, came to Paul Rubens moments before he walked on stage for improv. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Taylor Swift fans are apparently smarter than not Taylor Swift fans. This is a quarter.

This has been, they've done a study. Yeah, yeah. But then as one of the comments on the study says, so you're telling me college students enjoy listening to contemporary popular music, which raises a very good point. To be fair, I was in a mosh pit when I was at uni, so not everyone. Not everybody.

I found my way to pop. Yeah. You know? I found my way. After some emo detours. Yeah, yes, a few detours. You found your way to pop. Well, we've decided to test this theory with a small pop quiz.

Yeah. With a non-Taylor Swift fan and a big Swifty. Now, joining us first is Melissa. Melissa, you described yourself as a non-Taylor Swift fan. Yes, not a Swifty at all. What don't you like about her? Oh, I don't know. I just don't get the hype.

Music's not for you. We get it, man. Wow. It's almost a big call to make, isn't it? In this day and age, I am shocked somewhat. Is it because she threw out all the fan mail that time years back? Let's never forget that, Carwen. she threw out all the fan mail that time years back? Let's never forget that, Carwen. She threw out all the fan mail.

Remember, they found it in a dumpster. Yeah, unopened. Unopened. Wow. Yeah, wow. And Melissa was like, you know what? I can't align with a person like this. Yeah, that was probably it, wasn't it, Melissa?

Now, Melissa. I just want to say thank you to Melissa for staying with us. During what has been a fairly Taylor Swift heavy period of music. She's really thriving at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like her or not, you can't deny her. Now, Melissa, on the outset hearing this study, do you think that Taylor Swift fans are smarter people?

I'm ready to give it a go. Okay. Okay, well, you will be playing up against Amanda. Good morning, Amanda. You're a Taylor Swift fan? Yes, hello. Hello. A big Sw Amanda. You're a Taylor Swift fan? Yes, hello. Hello. A big Swifty.

You've always liked Taylor Swift? Oh, yes, since day one. Did you get tickets to the show in Australia? I did, and I'm also going to Vienna. Oh, my. Okay, we've got a Swifty. Okay, so big fan. You're going to where?

Vienna. Vienna, Austria, yeah. It's not just an ice. It's not just a chocolate. I know. It's a country. Vienna, Austria, yeah. It's not just an ice. It's not just a chocolate. I know. It's a country. No, that's Viennetta. That's a city.

Oh, that's a Viennetta. Oh, is it? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, in Austria. You're going all the way to Austria to see Taylor Swift there. Yeah. My sister lives in London, and it's the closest one that we can get through together.

Wow. Hell yeah. I love that. Oh, my God. So, big fan. You're obviously very smart and intelligent. You're going to have no problem traveling and finding Austria. So, big fan. You're obviously very smart and intelligent. You're going to have no problem travelling and finding Austria. So, this isn't a quiz about Taylor Swift, obviously.

No. That would go to Amanda. This is just a pop culture general knowledge quiz. Okay. Who is smarter? Vaughan will be the quiz master. Okay. Buzz in with your name.

What is the middle colour in a rainbow? Melissa. Melissa? Melissa. Melissa. Green. Yes, correct. Is it? That's one for the not-swifties. Wow.

Okay. That's one for the not-swifties. I want to let them down. Next question. How many dots appear on a die? Oh, my God. A dice. How many dots?

Melissa. Amanda? Yes, Melissa. 21? You're so stupid. Amanda, would you like a go? Uh, yes. 22?

No. Pair of dice, 42. 42 dots in total. It's 21 times two. That's all right. Both dum-dums on that one. That's okay. That's okay.

Which is colder, the North Pole or the South Pole? Melissa. Melissa, which one? South Pole or the South Pole? Melissa. Melissa, which one? South? Yeah, South Pole. Oh, my God. This theory's being disproven as we speak. It's been very disproven.

Heavily disproven. This anti-Swift. I mean, is it best of three or we just keep going? First of three. First two, three. Okay. What's the tallest mountain in New Zealand? Melissa.

Yes, Melissa. Rua Pehu? Oh! She's a dum-dum. Amanda! She's a dum-dum. Amanda. She's a dum-dum. Tallest in the North. Amanda said Mount Cook.

No, what did you say? Mount Hart. No! Oh, my God! It's Mount Cook, you dum-dums. I'm listening at school. Oh, Racky, Mount Cook, the crowd-piercer. Ru'upehu is the tallest in the North Island, yes.

Next question. You only need one to win this, and Amanda, you need three. Who is playing Willy Wonka in the new upcoming film? Amanda. Amanda. Timothy Shellamon. Yes. Shellamon.

And also playing Bob Dylan. Yeah, that makes sense. He looks a little bit like Bob Dylan. Can he gain a bit of weight, mate? For the role. Next question. You're playing Bob Dylan. Shut up and I'll... Yeah, that makes sense. He looks a little bit like Bob Dylan. Yeah. Can he gain a bit of weight, then? For the role. Next question. You're not a Bob Dylan fan. No, no, but not Timothy.

What is Barbie's full name? Barbie? No. I love that these two dum-dums haven't used Google. No, we like that. I love it. I love it. Barbie's full name.

Barbara Millicent. You can't be cheating. No, I like that. I love it. I love it. Barbie's full name. Barbara Millicent. We can't be cheating. No, I like that. Who said that? Melissa. Melissa said this what I like about that. Yeah.

The Swifties are honest people. Melissa wins for honesty. Yay! Congratulations. Well, Amanda, I mean, I guess your consolation prize is you're going to see

Taylor Swift in Vienna and Australia. She doesn't care about anything else. It's really only because my brain is full of Taylor Swift lyrics. Yeah, true. They've taken over the general knowledge, haven't they? True. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little boys. Silly little boys. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little boys. Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole and speaking movies, Disney announcing in Australia that after the latest...

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. That'll be it for the DVDs. But what about... Do they mean Blu-rays as well? Like just discs? Yeah. Discs. Because it's all on...

Like you just get it on Disney+. Yeah. Well, that's obviously what they would push more towards as well. Do you still buy DVDs or Blu-rays? 94% of respondees said no. The only... Like, does that mean that there's like 6% of people that live in the WAPs that have to, that don't have the internet? Well, 6% of people, yeah, or that are unlimited.

Yeah, right. Because 6% said yes, they still buy them. Helen responded saying, we don't need to, you can get everything digital these days. However, I still have a massive box for when there's internet outages. Oh, yeah. And then Sophie says, I don't want my child wasting all of our internet, brackets, rural, on crappy kids' TV.

So he gets DVDs. Yeah, okay. Lisa, I wouldn't have anywhere to play them. Yeah, because I don't have a PlayStation anymore. That was the only place I would have had it, a them. Yeah, like I... Because I don't have a PlayStation anymore. That was the only place I would have had it. A slot. Yeah.

Do the new PlayStations still have a disc slot? You can get a PS5 with a disc slot. Oh, but you pay extra, do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And even laptops now, you buy a laptop, they don't have a slot in them. No slot. No slot. They don't even have a USB in them anymore. I know.

You can barely charge them. They slot. No slot. They don't even have a USB in them anymore. I know. You can barely charge them. They're almost single use. Yeah. I'm throwing out laptops every week. Kate says, our batch doesn't have

internet or TV, so we really, I know. Batches, batches, you can watch DVDs. Kate, though,

thoughts and prayers. Yeah, really, thoughts and prayers. I hope soon that the batch gets internet. Fibre, at least. Gets darling.

So when we really need to entertain the kids, we pop on a DVD, generally bought from the op shop for about two bucks. Yeah, that's the stuff. Saving grace. And they are just mind-blowing that movies can be stored on a disc. What?

How do they do it? Mind-blowing. Lisa said, yes, but mainly my favourite TV shows. But again, they're all on streaming. Most of them would be on streaming.

You don't have to handle discs. Yeah, I used to sort of want to own my favourite shows. Now I don't feel like that. Yeah, like everybody who had Buffy the Vampire Slayer

DVD box sets. All the discs. Bridget said, bro, if you're still buying DVDs, I feel sorry for you. And then Bridget says, sorry for're still Buying DVDs I feel sorry for you And then Bridget says Sorry for saying bro

Because a box set Would be What like Two or three Or four months Of streaming And you get All the other shows

Yeah Cost wise Totally Totally Charlotte says You better believe I've kept all my DVDs In storage boxes

Especially my toilets Oh my god That's like my mum She's like I've got to clean out this I've got all my DVDs in storage boxes, especially my toilets. Oh, my God. That's like my mum. She's like, I've got to clean out this. I've got boxes of VHS tapes. I'm like, chuck them out. She's all my favourite. I've got favourite shows on there.

I'm like, they're all on streaming platforms. You don't need them. Are they though? Is the bill on streaming platform, is it? Is casualty? She's 17 seasons behind on the bill and four on Casualty. What about the episode of Maggie's Garden World that her friend was on for her roses? Is that on streaming, is it?

She's got that on VHS. I don't know it all. Samisi says, yuck. Yes. People that still buy DVDs still have an aux cord and a physical home button on their iPhone 7. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Shots fired.

Jesus. Hannah said, nope, and I proudly merch off my siblings for their streaming services. So her entertainment budget has just been slashed considerably. Yeah. Slashed. There you go. That's a little pop.

Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars because you wanted five stars back yes let's do that with this podcast oh yeah review it five stars tell your friends and we'll do the same

for you if you ever need a review for anything but where are you giving me my five stars well I don't know do you own a restaurant or something yes

if you give us five stars on this podcast tell us where you would like your review and we'll review even where we won't even go we'll just review your thing

I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.