ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st December 2023

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

Pringles  Top 6: Alternative Christmas Trees  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings: Summer Footwear  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Thank you, Sam. Welcome to the show. Good morning and welcome to the show. You are in such a shit mood.

You're in a cheeky mood. Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. This morning you've been cheeky all morning. I am feeling cheeky. I'm feeling a bit cheeky. I'm tired and it's manifested itself In more energy Yeah

Do you know what I mean You know when you're over tired And your legs got ants in them And a crash is coming A crash is coming Carl and I didn't get an invite To the Christmas party Oh you didn't get invited

No it'll be in your We've got the work Christmas party Next weekend And Carl wins She said it's in your email And I've just checked And it's there I got it What about spam Nope Everybody and Carwin's She said it's in your email and I've just checked and it's there I got it

What about spam? Nope Everybody got it It's not a junk Everybody got it Vaughan, do you want to be my plus one? Uh, no thanks Are you just saying this

so you don't have to go? No It sounds like something you do You do have it because here's your email Where? It's from Carwin What time did it come?

Yesterday It came yesterday 12.38 Yesterday Sorry I did get it I did Sorry. I did get it. I did get it. I did get it.

Can you like to apologise to Carwen? I do apologise. What is a white elephant? Is that where you pop the jeans out of your... That's greedy centre. You pull your jean pockets out and then flop your doodle out the front. Is that the white elephant?

Don't do that. Last time I did that in a Christmas party, I lost my job. Yeah, you'd be straight to HR with that carry on. Yeah, no, what is it? A naughty Santa? No, a greedy Santa. A greedy Santa where you get to pick someone else's gift. I know, but $20.

$20. What are we made of, honey? Gosh. This is coming from the woman that just denied a $2 Santa hat and demanded a $500. Oh my God, this cheap monster. We'll talk about it later, but we're off to the Santa parade tonight, the three of us. And you said, do you want me to pop in and grab some of those $2 Santa hats? And I said, absolutely not.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I was going to buy... Imagine, you've got a big head, Vaughn. You'll fill that thing right up. I never fit a cheap Santa hat. We have to put a slit in Vaughn's one and dust tape it in the back. Put some darts in, you know? I just, no. I want the fancy ones.

I want the nice plush ones. Oh, yeah. Well, we're not made of money. First of December today, first day of summer. Christmas. What? 24 sleeps away. The top six coming up dealing with Christmas trees because you're putting your new tree up.

This weekend. I think we're going your new tree up. This weekend. I think we're going to go get our tree this weekend. Yeah. We go real to support local industry. Not fake to support China's plastic well. Yeah, but then you're also deforesting the planet, aren't you? It was specifically planted. Oh, right.

It was purposefully planted to be a Christmas tree. Tell that to the bees. Bees like pine trees. Tell that to Mother Nature. I don't think they do. Explain to the bees, bees we're cutting down a pine tree. That's fine. That's fine. We want nothing to do with it.

They don't have the flowers, they just have the very sticky annoying pollen that causes all the allergies. I actually didn't know that all bees were German. Or very hard working that's why. Precision engineers. Buzz, buzz, buzz. I want the top six other Christmas decorations you can have in your lounge if you don't want a tree.

Yeah. Next on the show, though, probably the wildest news story from the internet in the last 24 hours. The sheer precision. Oh, I know. The sheer audacity. It's the fact the man's been caught and he's lost his job. And it involves a Pringles tube. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. An Ohio attorney has been suspended after pooping in a Pringles can and leaving it in the parking lot. What on earth? This is a wild story. It wasn't like he was in the parking lot

and he pooped in the Pringles can and he was like, I've got to get this out of the car. He dropped it off in the parking lot of a crime victim advocacy centre. Oh, he delivered it? He delivered it. On purpose? He delivered it on purpose. I thought he'd been caught short.

Oh, yeah, same. I thought he'd, yeah. So apparently, he's done it a number of times, as I was reading this morning. Yes, at least 10 times. It's what has been called the poo's pringle prank. That's a mouthful. Poo pringle prank.

People do this all the time. She poops in pringle cans down by the seashore. No, he does it. He's probably pooped in a pringle can. He's done it. Many times. I believe that he, it's called into question his mental fitness to be practising law in the state of Ohio.

So he's been what, disbarred or suspended? Yeah, suspended. Suspended, okay. Suspended, yeah, yeah. Now, I'm... A choice of vessel, isn't it? It's interesting there. I've Googled.

You ought to be eating a lot of Pringles. Eight centimetres wide is the hole. Is that the new size Pringles can? Can you give us an eight? You've got your tape measure. Oh, I don't know. Because you remember they made them smaller, it's harder to get the hand in.

Oh, yeah, no, eight centimetres. Yeah, that's the new size. Do you reckon you could line that up with your anus? Yeah. You'd have to be confident in the integrity of the poo. A lot of the times when you need a poo, you just by proxy go wee. Yes.

By default. Oh, yeah. Maybe do too. Maybe you'd just, your body would know that you're hovering over a Pringles can and it would shut down the front bit. Yeah. It would know something's happening. But even just the, you'd have to get the angle so right. Because you sort of think you're

getting it. Because have you guys ever done a stool sample before when you're going to poop into a tray? Oh my god, that sucks. How did you do it? Humbling. Because I put heaps of toilet down and kind of blocked it. And you caught it with the... And I caught it and then I just kind of got it from the side and from the pile.

I pooped into like a Thai takeaway container. You can't do that because there'll be... Pad Thai will show up in your results. No, as well. They'll say a feces contains spring onion. Yeah, but my feces would have had that anyway because I ate the pad thai. Or because it would have come out. You do actually raise a great point there. Do you know what I mean?

Whether it's there or there. It's in. Yeah, but you don't want the person that's looking under the microscope to be like this looks like a fresh bit of, you know, pad thai. What's the youngest you could become an attorney? I guess you'd go to uni, isn't it, four or five years?

Yeah, so let's say you finish high school at 18. The youngest you could leave at like 17. Yeah, but you'd need university entrance. And then you'd need to go to uni for five years. Yeah. So you're 23 when you come out. So it says this guy, because it doesn't say this guy's age,

but it does say he's been practicing, he's been an attorney since 1976. What? Oh, shit. Okay, that adds another whole thing to it. This guy's an older man, and he's somehow squatting over a Pringles tube. Let's say he was

23, so he was born in 1953, so he's 70 years old. That's incredible squatting. At the youngest. Yeah. So let's say he's 70. Yeah. To be able to squat at that age over a Pringles tube, that's incredible. So my father-in-law was just a bit over 70, actually. I couldn't imagine

him... You couldn't imagine John squatting over a Pringles? No. I sort of could. You know? Is it saving him money somehow? Yeah. You know it. On toilet paper. You know it. On water. On water.

Because he doesn't have to flush it. He doesn't have to flush. He just stores it. So he just does it in there and then he goes for a walk once a week and drops it off in a public bin. This feels like slander to your father-in-law, actually. This is wild.

You know what? Prove it wrong. To be slander, you're going to have to prove it wrong. Prove that he's not a Pringle pooper. Yeah. And wouldn't to say, man. In fact, if I mentioned this to him, he'd be like, oh, Vaughn, I haven't done that.

But how much would that save me? Quite a few litres. Yeah, quite a few dollars a year. He likes a Pringles. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So Ranker has done a massive sort of vote on this thing, right? Yeah. And they did the

most hated TV characters of all time. Is one of them Hayley Sproul, the host of Have You Been Making Teen Chats? No, because the audience reacted quite kindly to her. It was the commissioners that found her personality crazy. She's still a strong woman

giving her opinion through slightly slurred speech. No, I'm not on this list. I couldn't handle a strong woman giving her opinion. Okay. Through slightly slurred speech. Right. No, I'm not on this list. I am a beloved. Beloved TV character. TV character.

Yeah, okay. So when I thought of hated, I thought like the most evil. But some of these I'm like, oh, we just hate them. Okay. I'll tell you why. I'll skip a couple of them because I don't know who the hell they are. And if I don't know. Is it British?

Is it British? Probably like soap stars or something. Well, in 10th is Will Schuster from Glee. The teacher. What? Now, Carwen is in agreement here, nodding her head and laughing. Why do we hate him? I didn't watch Glee because it was. He's a bit creepy.

He is. He's too involved. He's actually acting that way towards his students. Right. It wouldn't. That wouldn't fly. No. Okay. Right. So we hate him. He's too involved. If they were actually acting that way towards the students, it wouldn't... That wouldn't fly. No.

Okay, right. So we hate him. He's intense. Okay. This list is ginormous, by the way. It goes all the way down to like 100. Oh, okay, yeah. Do you want the whole 100?

How long we got? Don't, don't. We got till nine? This is something Ward would do just to piss me off. I'm here for the whole 100. We've got till nine. But that takes care of today's show. We just do like five a break. Actually, I gotta say it, guys. You guys could me off. I'm here for the whole 100. We've got till nine. But that takes care of today's show. We just do like five a break. Actually, I gotta say it, guys.

You guys could pop off. You take care of it. And I'll just do the 100. How are you gonna press the buttons? You need me. Okay. She doesn't need to push the buttons because she's just gonna do non-stop 100.

Like, you've done it now. You've turned on your microphone. That's the only button that needs pressing today. Yeah, apologies to our advertisers and to the artists who were expecting their songs to be played, but I've got a big list to get through. You want it on board with.

This is Friday. New Zealand's favourite radio show. Start at 10. And that's what you get. Start at 10. Okay, in one... Oh, I'm sorry. It goes beyond 100.

I'm scrolling. We're not doing all 100. Okay, in 150th. Okay. Start at 150 Rory Flanagan Never heard EastEnders

Sixth Doctor In 149 That's Doctor Who Okay Don't look at your watch We've got a long time Number 9 Okay

Number 9 I'm gonna skip Because honestly I don't even know who that is Okay Okay No say it Because just But just say it

Kalo Kylo Kylo. Kylo. Kylo. He's the bald French Canadian cartoon character. Kylo. I don't know who that is. Well, you say that like we should all know the French Canadian cartoon character. Been on TV for ages.

If you saw a picture, you might be like, I'm kind of familiar with that in the peripheral. Okay, number eight of the hated characters, most hated TV characters, is Livia Soprano, Tony Soprano's mum. I need to watch the Sopranos. Have you never watched it? I watched the first season. Oh my god. I think back in the day. It's iconic. Yeah. And seventh is

Rachel Berry from Glee. That was Lea Michele's. Lea Michele. Hatable character. She was somewhat of a punish. The most likable thing about her was that her character's mother

was played by Idina Menzel yes yeah right Adele Dazeem Adele Dazeem John Travolta and sixth is

Todd Elquist from Breaking Bad played by Jesse Plemons yeah yeah yeah wait I just remember why he was

oh yeah remember of course yeah yeah of all. Remember, bang. Yeah. Yeah, and that was, of all the shocking things that happened in Breaking Bad, that thing he does in one of the last seasons was by far and away the most shocking.

Do we know the show, this is in fifth, Full Metal Alchemist? Yes. Yes, there's a thumbs up for Nerdsville. Jared does, there's a nerd. Sho Tucker, Shu Tucker? Yeah, he is shockingly bad. Is this Japanese?

I think so. It's got an anime vibe. Yes, yes. Greatest anime villains of all time is also on that list. Okay, here's four. The Governor from The Walking Dead, played by David Morrissey. I never got into The Walking Dead. It was in the first seasons of The Walking Dead, yeah.

Why was he bad? Why didn't people like him? Nod, it was a naughty. He was just like, yeah, he sacrificed humans to zombies and had all these weird ways. Did it need to be done? You would have actually seen eye to eye

with a lot of his decisions. I'm just saying, if someone else gets eaten and you don't, then that's okay. I feel like it's the zombie apocalypse. Rules are different. Yeah.

Leave your morals at the barbed wire gate, you know. At the barbed wire gate, exactly. Okay, here's your top three most hated TV characters of all time, as voted by the people. Yep. Three, Cersei Lannister. Yes.

Two, Ramsay Bolton. Yes. One. Can I guess? Joffrey. Joffrey Baratheon. So Game of Thrones got top three. Top three.

And those are three evil bastardos. They were evil. Almost. Because Joffrey, spoiler alert, and if you haven't watched Game of Thrones, shame on you. Joffrey wasn't around as long as Ramsay, man. He was twisted. That's what made that show so great is they were more twisted than TV characters ever really got. Ever have been.

Yeah, ever have been. Joffrey, the guy who played Joffrey stopped acting. Yeah, I think because he... And Ramsay Bolden's been like, he did it so well, he's almost been typecast as... He's all twisted. He's in a show on TVNZ On Demand or TVNZ Plus or... Yeah, I don't know.

Internet TVNZ. Internet TVNZ On Demand. I think that's what it's called. Yeah, they call it themselves. TVNZ 2.0. That's it, yeah. Internet version. Internet TVNZ.

Wow, you guys really forget the name of your employer now that you're not employed by them, don't you? Not my employer. I'll do that. He's on that playing the same sort of character. Right. This guy that takes a family hostage and he's like a bit screw loose. Twisted, yeah.

You're never casting him in a Christmas rom-com, are you? I'd like to see it. Just purely to give him a chance. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley from the bustling ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hi there. Christmas trees. It's the

first of December. You now have permission to put up your Christmas tree. A lot of people have already. Any earlier than this was a little silly. Yeah. Especially the fake ones. They go, sorry, the real ones. They go than this was a little silly. Yeah. Well, especially the fake ones. They go, no, sorry, the real ones. They go a bit brown by Christmas Day.

And that whole putting an aspirin thing is an urban legend. Yeah. You just got to get it in water as quick as you give it the cut. Oh, yeah. Otherwise, you got to give it another fresh cut before you put it in water.

Otherwise, it seals itself off. Oh. Then you get it in a nice clean water and you just keep the water topped up. They smell like our apartment building got one in the lobby and it went up when it was in there yesterday and I just walked in and I was just like, that smells so good. Christmas. There it is.

Well I've got the top six other Christmas decorations of the lounge if you don't want a tree. Okay. It's nice. Everybody can have a tree. It's really helpful Vaughn. Yeah, well that's what I'm here for. Why are you surprised? Oh, these are just some great, I'm looking forward to this list. Number six. Hold your praise.

Praise until after the list. Because I feel like the list could be a bit silly. Hold your applause. Number six on the list, the Christmas cone. The road cone, repurposed. They're everywhere and tree-shaped. God, it's been a few years in between stealing cones. You can't just steal a road cone, Vaughan. Fulton Hogan don't like that.

Don't steal it off Fulton Hogan then. Don't steal the milk because it's a safety issue. Yeah, well, don't steal it off. I'm sure people aren't going to drive into the road works. But if you find one chucked into a ditch. Yeah, oh, right. It's best to rehome them. A doctor shop.

So you're saying... I always think that with road cones. So you're saying do not steal a road with road cones. So you're saying, do not steal a road cone, but if you find, if you found one in an urban environment that wasn't being used for road safety, you could re-home it.

Re-purpose it. Right. Okay, perfect. Or you could just buy your own from an online seller. You could make your own. Could you 3D print? Have you got a friend like we do

with a 3D printer? Oh, that's a lot of ink though. It'd be a lot of 3D printing. Jared, do you think, Jared could like we do with a 3D printer? Oh, that's a lot of ink though. It'd be a lot of 3D printer. Jared, do you think Jared could 3D print me a cone? Um, I think the resin required would cost more than the actual thing. The cone, yeah.

I made a nzsafetyblackwoods.co.nz That's your local safety store. I am looking for a road cone. Well, do we get 20% off if we buy three? Oh, there's 10 for $3.50 on Trade Me, but they're real skinny. Are they? Oh, no, no, no. I want a fatty. You want a girthy one, eh? It's got to look like a Christmas tree. Road cone. Well, do we get 20% off if we buy three? Oh, there's 10 for $3.50 on Trade Me, but they're real skinny. Are they? Oh, no, no, no.

I want a fatty. You want a girthy one, eh? It's got to look like a Christmas tree. Road cone. This is the one that they have outside. 4.2 kgs, 900 millimetres high, $44.90 each. Jeez. Excluding gist.

Oh, yep. Cheaper than a tree, though. That's insane. Yeah, that's right. To think you drive past a row of road cones, like hundreds of them. Yeah. That's like thousands of dollars.

I mean, they probably get them a bit cheaper than buying them in bulk. Well, you can get little attachments for the top of the road cone. Like what? You can get a solar-powered traffic road cone light that flashes orange. You can just put that on top of your thing. It's your Christmas decorations. Yes, I love that. You can stick these things on top of your thing, yes, your Christmas decorations. Yes, I love that. You can stick these things on top of road cones,

like, you know, when you're forming a queue at the bank or at the airport and they change which way if more people come, like cattle yards? Oh, yep, yep. You can get those that go on top of road cones. Oh, yeah. Ain't that a bit spesh? That's pretty nice, yeah.

That's spesh. You can get a cone topper with a magnetic wall attachment. What does that mean? I don't know. What does that do? It's magnetic, that sounds cool. Stick it to the wall. Anyway, number five

on the list of the top six other... Sorry, Teemu are doing tiny little miniature ones that go in, like, I don't know what you'd use them for, but they're

like real, like an inch high. We'll just add to cart. God, Teemu has everything, eh? Literally everything. Yeah, including

horrendous pollution issues in China. You remember when they ordered stuff from Teemu and it went straight in the bin and it was so crap? Yeah, including horrendous pollution issues in China. You remember when they ordered stuff from Teemu and it went straight in the bin and it was so crap?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That felt bad. It felt bad. Yep. Number five on the list of the top six other Christmas decorations if you don't want a tree.

This one is still a plant, the Christmas agapanthus. Awful, awful plant. Grows everywhere. Just grab one off the side of the road. Okay, or just turn any

of your pot plants. Just put some decorations on them. No, it's got to be an agapanthus. Oh, does it? Well, you want to repurpose it. You want to bring joy to something that sucks. And an agapanthus sucks. An agapanthus suck.

Don't plant them. You'll never get rid of them. I'm a man currently at war with agapanthus. Number four on the list of the top six other Christmas decorations if you don't want a tree. The Christmas senior citizen. They decorate beautifully and they'll tell you stories of Christmas past. Oh, do you just leave them in the corner of your lounge? Yeah.

Do you have to feed them? You've got to water them, but you've got to water a tree as well. But not as much water as you would think. Yeah, and not as much food. They eat not as much now. A bit of jam toast. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six other Christmas decorations,

if you don't want a tree, the Christmas microwave. Okay. Put a microwave in the corner. Very handy appliance. Just put some tinsel on it. Yep. Okay, great. Pop the popcorn in a bag in there, and two minutes later,

you've got popcorn, and now your Christmas tree smells like popcorn too. Yuck. And you're eating popcorn. That stuff. That might. Oh, my God. Have you ever looked inside one of those bags? Microwave popcorn.

No. What, before it gets microwaved? Yeah, yeah, don't do that. No, I haven't. No, you never do that. Why did you open the bag of microwave popcorn before? I don't know how I've seen it or why, but it's like a hard slab, like a chocolate block. Of fat. Fat.

And nuggets of corn. And corn. It is, yeah, I've seen one. And I wish I hadn't. Never, never peek behind the curtain. Never. Because that's how the sausage is made. Yeah.

Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six Christmas decorations if you don't want a tree in the lounge, the Christmas dildo. Oh, yeah. That's nice. Have you got one big enough for the lounge, do you? Yeah. Yeah.

That you can hang decorations on. Wow. Congrats. That's not even my biggest. And number one on the list of the top six other Christmas decorations if you don't want a tree, the Christmas is stationary exercise bike or treadmill. You know that thing that you bought, that exercise equipment, and you put it on higher purchase,

and you ended up paying a lot more for it than if you just bought it outright cash, and then you stopped using it well before you paid it off? You used it three times in lockdown, and now it's just hanging in the washing. Like, where are my abs? Exactly, you got your towels over it. You got your towels over it on the inside

of the house. Well, put some lights on it, baby, because it's the festive season. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, I've got some numbers for you. Now, this is out of the UK, but we can... Seven. Five. These are the lotto numbers. Write them down. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait.

Slow down. Slow down. 32. No, but now we're going to have to split it. 15. You know,. These are the lotto numbers. Write them down. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Slow down. 32. No, but now we're going to have to split it with everyone else. 15. You know, don't say the lotto numbers. We're doing... He's warming up his psychic abilities.

That's a long tease for eight o'clock. Bet I can guess your mum's name returns today. Wow. Bonus number. Oh, he's rocking. Rainman's here. Yeah, Powerball is... Six.

I was going to say six. I felt six in my heart. Oh, okay. I'm going to get six. Okay. Jot's here. And Powerball is? Six. I was going to say six. I felt six in my heart. Oh, okay. I'm going to get six. Okay. Jot that down. Yeah. No, the numbers I have for you are they're out of the UK.

Okay. But, you know, usually we sort of line up. It's a good representation because they literally surveyed thousands and thousands of people to look at some stats on watching a little bit of sexy content. Adult material. On your cornhub.com. And so this is what time people are watching cornhub.com. It's a bunch of things.

And I'm always like, who's being honest here? 29% of people who they interviewed said that they had looked at adult content that month, the time of interview, which was May. What percent? This summer. 29%. Do you think people are lying?

Oh my God, yeah. Because this sounds like a trap your partner's done, eh? Yeah. Like fill out the study, but it's just your partner testing it? Yeah. Of that 29%, so there's the poll, 29% of them admitted to looking at adult content within the month they were asked.

73% of them are male. So that's non-surprising, I guess? That doesn't surprise me. No. Well, adult content is very male-skewed, with the rest of them being women. No representation for non-binary, so I'm not sure where they've fallen there.

The majority, the bigger chunk of them were between the age of 18 and 34, and that drops 10% down after that into your 34 to 44, watching less, younger people watching more. The most surprising thing was when the time of the day so according to this

most popular during the hours between 9am and 5.29pm now that my friends is a traditional work day

I was going to say that's your traditional work hours who's watching that at work yeah that is wild because also

wouldn't most of the time if you're at work. I mean, not always, but there'd be work Wi-Fi, right? And that would like. Yeah. Question for a friend. Okay. Okay. If you're on a work phone plan.

Yeah. And you're away from home. Yeah. And you're on, say, a hotel Wi-Fi, does work know what you're looking at? I mean, just assume yes. They don't, because you're not on their Wi-Fi.

If you went and if you were on the data plan and you chewed through all your data, that would be like we've got a high data usage here. They could probably say to the telco provider hey, can you let me know, where is this person losing all of their gigabytes?

But if you're on a hotel... Quite a specific question. It was weird because you did stay at a hotel last weekend. Last Friday. I was asking for a friend though. Oh, not you. Yeah, well, no. If you were a hotel, would you have... If you you were a hotel, would you have,

if you were running a hotel, would you have a filter on your internet content to say no naughty stuff? Absolutely not. What are you there to do? I just, I reckon it would just

cost you business. Watch Sky movies? Oh, it would 100% cost you business. Or like, oh, you can't play with yourself and watch something when you're at that hotel.

You'd be like, oh, I'll just pay more for food. I should take my patronage somewhere else. Yeah, you'd be like one star on TripAdvisor for this hotel. Yes. I always thought that. But where are people doing it? Like in the toilets? So the majority of people were between 9 and 5. Yeah.

Then it drops between 5.30 and 8 p.m., goes back up slightly. That's bedtime. Around 8 p.m. till midnight. slightly. That's bedtime. Around 8 p.m. till midnight. It's as good as a Zop. And then up a little bit more. They're sleepy. A little bit more between midnight and 9 o'clock in the morning.

Insomniacs. They can't sleep. They're trying to get themselves up to bed. Oh, it's the best remedy. And then they'll wake up and I guess, yeah, check your internet, your email rather, and your messages. There you go. Don't fiddle with yourself at work.

I've never done it. It's hard at work. Excuse me, bless me. Someone's allergic to playing with themselves at work, aren't they? Yeah. A lot of people are spending a lot of time on these sites as well. Fascinating numbers. How long does a person spend on the site?

Maybe I'm reading this wrong. Just shy of two hours. A month. A month. Oh, okay. I was like a sesh. A sesh? Especially during work time.

What are you watching? Lord of the Rings on there? Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is the road rules in the supermarket. Do you do it while you're driving your trolley?

Do you also do drifts around the end of the aisle? Tokyo Drifts. Yes. Hit the rev limiter on the corner. I mean, it's a little bit like walking down main streets, you know, like you stick to the left like we do on the road. Yeah. I feel like most people know that like escalators go on, you know, stand on the left or walk on the right. Yeah.

I know a lot of people don't do that, though. No. I thought this yesterday. I went to the mall and the escalator was broken. Why can we not walk on stopped escalators? It's weird, eh? Because they're stepped escalators. You're like, clomp.

They're a very steep step. Clomp, clomp. And they look like they're moving and they're not. I know. I sort of was like stumbling and I was like, ah! It's like when a travelator's not working and you walk on it, you're like, this is quite steep. Yeah, yeah.

It's bloody slow. I'm going to drag my own fat ass up here. I'm going to let the machine do it for me. Do you follow the road rules in the supermarket? 66% of people said yes, stick to the left. 34% said no, it's a free-for-all. Okay, okay. That's chaos.

Totally parked the trolley on the right side. Guess what, guys? I'm a rebel without a cause, says Dan. You're a bastard, Dan. You're a monster. You're a monster. Josh, no, but hear me out. I'm a fast-walking, busy gay.

I'd be stuck in there five times as long as everybody as I needed to be if I did stick to the road rules they glide don't they they're a zippy little gay yeah they glide gays yeah they do very fast absolutely zippy little gay

Chloe says almost a zippy little gay I don't know if you can call no I don't know I don't know if you can say that is a straight man they are zippy

you're a straight man is it it's a compliment a zippy little gay he's jealous he wishes he could move like a zippy little gay you're a straight clump big cl? It's a compliment. A zippy little gay. He's jealous. He wishes he could move like a zippy little gay. Yeah, I wish I could be a zippy little gay. You're a straight clump.

Yeah, big clumpy. Clumpy straight. Clumpy hero. Yeah. Big, blonking, fat. Relicant. Oh, hey, don't be hard on yourself. Fat, white, straight.

Yuck. Close it. Oh, my God. I almost raged at a lady the other day who blocked the whole section of the veg department with a trolley long way at an angle instead of parking it to the side, which is what I do. Hello. Others want to get around you and the world doesn't revolve around you. Love.

Yeah. Hello. She would have been straight, that old girl. Straight. So maybe we're the problem in the supermarket. That's the worst people, aren't they? Maybe they need a zippy gay hour.

Oh my God. I do like how the supermarkets do do the hours, you know, they do the sensory hours where the music goes down and the lights go down and it's great for people

with, you know, neurodivergent situations. Yeah. Maybe they need to do a zippy gay hour. Yeah. Following that. And then they can do

the plotting straights. The senior citizens hour where they just take a foot ever to get around the supermarket. Yeah. Following that. And then they can do the plodding straights. The senior citizens hour where they just take a foot ever to get around the supermarket. Yeah, and ask every question. Sophie said, oh my god, I didn't know the road rules applied. Am I the arsehole here? Yes.

Yeah, I never really thought about it too much until now, but you just kind of tuck into the left. Unless it's an empty aisle. Yeah. You can go a bit crazy. Well, no. You don't go crazy down an empty desert road, do you just kind of tuck into the left. Unless it's an empty aisle. You can go a bit crazy. Well, no. You don't go crazy down an empty desert road, do you? Yep. That was a bad analogy for you.

Yeah, all over the show. Look at me zigging and zagging. It was like when there was lockdowns driving to work and there was no one else on the motorway and you're just like, whoa. Indicate, what's that? Changelands. Yeah, says Lisa. as much as I can, when some dickhead can't follow the rules,

you show politeness and excuse me the way through. There's nothing worse than someone sneaking past you with no excuse me, and they don't realise how wide my dumper is, so they bump me on their way through, and off they go in conclusion, yes, I do follow the road rules, and I wish everybody

else did too yeah bit of a grumpy Lisa that's not the grumpy Lisa but it certainly had a tone to it didn't it yes

also I I am no I'm not gonna say it I wanted to comment on that well now you have to I wanted to comment

on accidentally scraping someone's arse with a trolley like if you did I'd be mortified. Oh, yeah. And someone was like, scrape? How do you bump someone? Yeah, that's horrible.

Yeah. You want to scrape a bootay. Get that big dumper in there, though. Catherine says, does anyone else have the exact same route they follow through the supermarket every time they go? Yes. Begin at the veggies, then meat, then milk. Do you know sometimes- Finish in the frozen, go to the exact same way every time. Because you Begin at the veggies, then meat, then milk. Do you know sometimes... Finish in the frozen, go to the exact same way every time.

Because you do the zigzag, zigzag, zigzag. Sometimes I like to zigzag. But then, have you ever gone into an aisle the other way and then you're zigzagging the wrong way? It feels weird. It feels weird. Yeah. Because you know where you need to finish to get back to the checkouts.

Yeah. So you've got to work it that way. And there's always when you'll skip. Or you see someone at the start of the supermarket and then you're like, all right, bye. But then they zig there and you've got to cross paths the entire way around the supermarket. They're zigging while you're zagging. I had my trolley locked the other day

leaving the supermarket. They've got a remote control now to stop you stealing them. And it was like at the, like in the checkout area and it went, beep, boop, beep, boop, beep, boop. Your trolley did? Yeah. And then the wheels just locked up. And the wheels locked and then the lady had to come over and she had like a massive, like, remote in her hand and she unclipped the wheels and let me leave.

Like when you go go-karting and you get a bit bumpy and they kill your kart. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah, and all my bottles of Prosecco were like clunk, clunk, clunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had to do a kind of emergency lock. Yeah. So I can do that now.

April says yes, but also... Oh, she's got something she wants to add about supermarket etiquette. Also, if you are a two-parent adult family, then you two and your two children do not all need to go into the supermarket together. Someone needs to sit in the car with the children. Get out of my goddamn way. Wow.

Because now if we're comparing this to road rules, there's cyclists all over the place. Yeah, that's a good call. Leave your family at home and just send one person to do the shopping. That was a good... Over the COVID, only one person could go shopping for the house. Yes, I loved it. That was... I do think habits have changed like that. Yeah.

Someone just stays in the car. Luke says, pre-COVID, yes, people were polite. Post-COVID, no, they can get effed. Everybody for themselves. It's a wild world out there. It's like wearing body cams at the supermarket checkouts now. Everybody needs to calm down. Ivor and Smith love an immersive experience

You sure do And I, Vaughn Smith, also enjoy fantasy realms You sure do I do Galaxy's Edge Star Wars Galaxy's Edge at Disneyland I've been there twice And both times I've walked in

I've got goosebumps And I just feel overwhelmed Did you cry? The first time I got a little bit teary eyed But it was more just like I was overwhelmed Yeah I was overwhelmed. Yeah. I was tired and there was... That's really sweet.

It's very endearing. Sensory overwhelm. Yeah. Overwhelmingness. There is something about a very level-headed Vaughn. I just called you level-headed and I don't know if I stand by that. No, I mean, I was going to scoff,

but then I realised it's probably one of the nicer things anybody's said about me, so I didn't scoff. Yeah, but just the idea of you walking in with wide eyes and little young vawns. Wide-eyed wonder. I can absolutely suspend reality and be like, I'm not in busy Anaheim, California. I am in Batuu. Of course. A planet of the outer rim of the known galaxy of the Star Wars universe.

Well, I'm going to be able to do it closer to home now. And I have already been to this tourist spot and I love it. Hobbiton, Atomata. I've done it once and I thruffed it. I don't want to leave. There's a pub. There's cute little water wheels. There's neat little houses.

You can walk around. There's cute little gardens that are actually growing pumpkins and such. It rules. I used to drive through there a lot on my way to the Mount where my friend lived. Yeah. And I'd always go the Matamata Route because it's just such a nice place, but I've never gone to Hobbiton.

It rules. I'm missing out. It's really, really close to my Nan's house. Oh, yeah, of course it is. Yeah. She lives on the hills like around nan's house. Oh, yeah, of course it is. Yeah. She lives on the hills, like, around the same area. Yeah, right. As my grandad said, if Peter Jackson had just flown a little bit bloody further,

he could have used our duck pond. And they'd be super rich. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be nice. I wouldn't be here dealing with you fools. So what's happening at Hobbiton? Well, there's always been the exterior. After the original filming of The Lord of the Rings,

the paddock just went back to being a paddock and there were the holes and stuff. But then people were coming to just see what used to be. And the brainchild of the people that owned the place were just like well maybe we do a deal with the movie theatre, the movie company and Sir Peter Jackson and we make

this a tourist attraction. And now then it was a fully functioning, you could walk around. Now, there's internal hobbit holes. Because if you ever open the now, then it was a fully functioning, you could walk around. Now, there's internal hobbit holes. Because if you ever open the door, you can have a photo with, ah, peeking out the door,

but there was nothing behind it. It was just a hole. Oh my God, really? Yeah, it was just a little bit of a hole. I always saw people, people had photos, was it the tavern or something,

a bar that you could go into. Okay, right. And they do food and whatnot. Yeah, you can eat and drink there. And it's awesome. But now they've got hobbit holes, actual interiors,

where you can go in and have a look around. Kind of adding to the whole immersion experience. I never knew there wasn't anything in them. I know. I always thought there was something in them. And a lot of people did because I was reading this news article. Tourists would start crying because there was nothing in the hobbit hole. Yeah.

So you'd open up the door and be like, ooh, and then there's nothing. Yeah. And there was an Airbnb experience down there earlier in the year. Yes. One of those ones that Airbnb's like, it's only for three nights. And you're like, why? Why is it only for three nights? Make it free.

Make some money. Well, you'd think that, yeah, you'd imagine if you could live in one for the night. Yeah. That you'd be able to charge like a thousand bucks. So people would pay it. It's so beautiful. There was that. And now there's houses. So these were built by the same people that did the set design.

Yes. For The Hobbit. Correct. And The Lord of the Rings. Right. And it just looks, the pictures that are up, and I've seen some people went yesterday. I got invited, but you had to catch a bus.

Like a media bus. Yeah, media bus from Auckland to Matamata and then back and I was just like Right. Big day for Vornie. Big, big day for middle Vornie. Big day. I've got this cold. But I'm surprised you didn't get on. If you weren't sick would you have done it? Now that I'm sick, now that I'm

seeing the photos and the videos I am full of regret. Yeah, okay. I'm not going for a look. Oh, it looks so cool. I just went on the Hobbiton Tours website and the, oh my god it looks amazing. Yeah, okay. I'm not going for a look. Oh, it looks so cool. I just went on the Hobbiton Tours website and the, oh my God, it looks amazing. Yeah. Also, you know everything there's glued down, eh? Because how many, like,

like everything there, you, I mean, you'd imagine there'd be the odd tourist wanting to put something in their pocket. Oh my God, it looks so cool. We should go. We should go. Yeah. Yeah. We should go. We should go. Yeah. We should go.

We should. I would get Nan to buy the tickets because she's a local and locals get the discount. Do they? What's the discount? I almost think at one stage they were allowed to go once a year for free. Right. Oh, my God. So I'd almost say it was from Matamata to get that.

Yeah. Almost. Yeah. Would you? Almost. Almost. Almost. Well, yeah,? Almost. Almost. Almost. Well, yeah, you can now go in a-

It looks like it rules. And we're not being paid to say this. Yeah. Non-spawn, non-spawn, non-spawn, non-spawn. It looks like it's rad. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan Ailey. Play ZM. It's the final rankings.

We do this every Friday. Final rankings. We rank things. And today, because it's the 1st of December, the first day of summer, we're going to rank summer footwear. Now, I've made a quick list. Okay, good. Give us your list. Jandals.

Yep. Slides. Yep. Birkenstocks. Yep. Crocs. Yep. Mules.

Yep. Barefeet. Yep. Birkenstocks. Yep. Crocs. Yep. Mules. Yep. Bare feet. Yep. Backpacker sandals. You know those like Tevos? They're back in fashion from the 90s. Yeah. Roman sandals.

And then what are those? You wear those dock sandals. Are they just sandals? Yeah, I mean, that's just a sandal. A strappy sandal. A strappy sandal. Strappy sandal. Now, I've been rocking that recently, but I will say it's a pain because we're a shoes-off house.

Yeah. So you've got to unbuckle the side and slip out. When I'm over today, I don't know if I'll take my shoes off. Oh, well, don't come. Same goes for my house. It's a birk. If you just wear birks and then you slide out. Take your shoes off

Okay Take your shoes off You can stay outside With the dogs Okay fine You can stay outside With the dogs Did I miss any on the list?

Is that the comprehensive summer? Well some people Don't get their feet out In the summer They're still rocking A bloody sneaker No No this is the time of the year

To get the foot out You've got to get the foot out You know when you go to the beach When you end up at the beach and you're in sneakers? Yeah. And you're like, oh, and you slip out and you put your socks in there and then you don't want to put them back on. But that's all right if you're going to and from the supermarket,

you've got your sandals or your slides or jandals or whatever. But what if you were like Europe in summer? Or you had a whole day in the city. That's where you'd probably go shoes, right? That's where you get your tourist shoe, your strappy hiking sandal. Yeah, true. Okay.

Because I hate jandals. I hate them. I cannot stand them. Ever since I was a kid, I remember my mum getting me this pair of glittery gold jandals. They had a bit that went between the toes, and I could not wear them. I was like...

I had Havianas forever, but now that I've been team Birkenstocks, I just don't think I could ever go back. They're so comfortable. To the person that just texted in saying suede loafer, get out. What is a suede? Are we talking a boat shoe? Oh, a boat shoe.

Aaron rocks a boat shoe. I hate boat shoes. Does he wear a sock? I'll put boat shoes on. He's off with a boat shoe. Oh, Aaron doesn't go sockless. I was going to say. Is he meaning like, because Birkenstocks do those suede,

they're like almost like a sandal, like a slide? I like those. Yeah. Yeah, maybe those. Or maybe that's what you mean. Sorry. I'm Googling it. No.

No. No. He's talking moccasins. Okay. I've Googled suede loafers and it's all just coming up like moccasins. Yeah, like a boat shoe. Like a boat shoe. Yeah. If you don't own a boat, you've got no business in that shoe. Yeah, like a boat shoe. Like a boat shoe. Yeah, no.

If you don't own a boat, you've got no business in that shoe. When I said Aaron wears boat shoes, I don't mean these. It's like a sneaker, but it does have

a stitching around the side so it kind of looks boatish. But not there. Not there. It still sounds horrible. Birkenstocks is number one for me. Yeah, I think so too.

I think Jandals wouldn't even be in my top three anymore. Crocs can get in the trash. I'm still not for the croc. Aaron's been wearing his... How has he been liking his McDonald's crocs? Too much.

Yeah, I knew he would love them. I said to him, it's okay. You can wear them around the garden and around the reno. It's good slipping on and off. He did breach the at the pub rule the other day. Good. We popped out and then we were like, why don't we just have some lunch at the pub rule the other day. Good. We popped out and then we were like, why don't we just have some lunch at the pub?

That's the thing. They're so comfortable. And hasn't a school banned them? Yes. A lot of schools, yeah. But that's more of a, not like a health and safety thing, more of a trading and... Because of gibbets.

Yeah, people are stealing other kids' gibbets. They'll be like, those are my crops. What is the world, eh? They're all green and stuff. Okay, I'm going to go... Burke's number one. Yeah. After that, I'm going to go your sort of leather sandal,

like a dock... I'm wearing a dock sandal today. Mm-hmm. And jandals can burn in the trash. Yeah. And third, I'll go... like a slide. You're missing one.

What? Bare feet. Oh, the dogs. Get a dog. Yeah, get a dog. Are we counting that as summer footwear? Absolutely. Yep.

Okay, I'm raw dog third. You're raw dog third, yeah. Yeah. Because I'm going to go Berks, bare feet, and then probably slides. Yeah. Because I've got some slides. You do have slides. But Birks are slides.

Birks are slides. No, but Birks are a particular slide. We're talking about your Nike slides, your Adidas slides. Yeah, yeah. Then I'd go slides. Your Puma slides. Classic. But then also you forget that bare feet is such a Kiwi thing because I remember being

overseas and just jumping in the car to go to the supermarket to grab a few things. Yeah. No Jandall, no Birks. Why would you? And the looks that I got were like... Very Kiwi. Yeah. Aaron will seldom wear shoes in summer at the supermarket.

And it's something I've grown to like about him. At first I was like, oh, God. Yeah. Okay, Vaughn, your final rankings for summer footwear? Crocs is three. Okay. Crocs is three. You. Crocs is three. You never used to be a team Crocs.

Absolutely. Can't be chucking on, just easy to chuck on very quick. Crocs three, Barefoot two, Birks one. And that's just primarily on how much I wear them. And you do like your formal jeans in Birks too in Summer. You do, don't you? Dress them up, dress them down. Dress them up, dress down, yeah.

Well, that's pretty good. I think Birks too in summer. You do, don't you? Dress them up, dress them down. Dress them up, dress down, yeah. Well, that's pretty good. I think Birks wins. Yeah. And then we're all going some kind of other slide-on. Yeah. It's all about ease in summer, isn't it? Kick them off, kick them on.

You will not be wearing shoes in my house tomorrow, by the way. Today. You can't. I'll bring my Birks. But then here's the problem. I wear my Birks and you know how they're

a little bit grubby? So there'll be like a slight film of grub on your new foot. Take your Birks off at the door. Yeah. And then you're saying your foot's got to film. Yeah. Yeah, because your feet do get a bit dirty.

Maybe I can have a little foot spa at the door. I'm thinking of buying slippers in every size for guests that come to the house. And they can slip on a pair of house slippers. I hate myself. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. House slippers. I hate myself. Don't worry, don't worry, I'll turn my microphone off.

Don't worry, I'll do your job as well as mine. I turn it on and you turn it off. Do you know what happened? We've been fighting all week. We've had our first fight earlier on in the week

and then we have just been like cats and dogs. I don't know if we did have our first fight. Our version of a fight. You're a poop. So I'm just going to carry on. Speak up, boy.

I'm going to carry on with my job if that's all right with you two. Oh, no. I might plow on. I might plow on if that's all right. Yeah, and not be distracted by the two of you. You would plow on. What was that supposed to mean?

The sexy wheelbarrow will be in business in three, two, one. Okay, guys. God, it's great. I'm having fun on the show this morning. You can hear that I am smiling in my voice. Hayley, you're not looking at me and I'm about to tell a story. I was just reading a text. From?

My boyfriend. Last night, my children were involved in the school choir and they went to the local retirement village and they sing the songs to the people and then the old people with their ukuleles and their choirs sing them songs back. It's a bit of back and forth. Was it like the TV show?

Oh, no, it wasn't. It's like the old folks. Old folks for kindergarten for the old folks. No, it's not quite that. It's like a retirement village. Old folks for kindergarten for the old folks. No, it's not quite that. It's like a retirement village. Right. Okay. And so they will sing song and everything.

And then when we walked in, I walked in and I sat down and Shade's like, I think those seats are for the old people. And I said, I am one of the old people compared to the children. And then a lady said hello everybody bar's open ding what they have a bar

I was like for us and she's like yes yes you're a you're a welcome guest the bar is open to you I was like okay do you want a drink

Shada's like yes of course we're about to sit through you said do you want a drink and she said yes do you want a drink yes we're about to sit through

Christmas Carol so this is like a village or a home. So it's a village that has houses, like two bedroom houses, all new build houses. And then there's apartments. And then I think there's areas where maybe if you need a little bit more help. Like a hospice. It's a bit of everything.

No, there's no hospice. But is there like a separate? I don't think it's a hospice. There's a separate booze bed. There's a big building in the middle where the apartments are and the ground floor's got a cafe, a salon, a mail room, a meeting room.

Yeah, dude, the salon. I think too, as well, Hayley, it's close to both of our houses and very reasonably priced. Really? I don't know if you can just go in and use it. I think you have to be... You can because it said

there was two columns for prices and one was residents and one was guests. Really? Oh, I thought you meant us moving in. I was like, we would bring the party. You know what I mean? We would absolutely bring the party to that place. So they said the bar's open and I was like, okay. I said, Shada, do you want a drink? And she said yes. And so we went down

and we got there and they said, what would you like? And I said, do you have a list? And they passed me a list. And the drinks were, and hold, hold, hold on it, hold on it, hold on it. $6. Oh, they just don't know. We're talking RSA prices.

Are we talking a nice thick wine glass? Oh, dude, the poor. Unbreakable wine glasses. Because that's what they said What would you like? And I said to Sharday I'm going to get a whiskey and coke And she's like You can't get a whiskey and coke

At a Carol's event Yes, you can I was like, whoa And then she was like He'll have the beer You can take the trash out of Hamilton, eh? But you What's the saying?

And then she said What about you, love? And Sharday said a rosé, please And she was like The wine is the brim. Yes. Good stuff. For six dollars.

Yeah. Yeah, so I was like drink my beer real quick because I was like that sort of pour. They're doing a heavy handed double so I was like whiskey and coke please

and she was like yep and she did that thing and it's my favourite thing when bartenders do it. They get out the little measuring cup but it's just And they hold it over the glass and they pour it until it just spills over.

And it spills over and they go, oh, about that much. It's more to stop the booze bouncing off the bottom of the glass. It's just you go in here and eat it. We're talking half-half here. And then that was $6 as well for spirits. $6 for a double shot of spirits.

That's pretty good. What you're saying is we should be on our way to town and going out. We should be preloading at the rest home. At the retirement village. Yeah, second level preloading. You can preload at home and then you pop into the retirement village. Okay, a few more there and then hit town. Then I was like, there's got to be a catch here. And so we were talking to one of the ladies who manages it or works there,

and she said, oh, you've just got to know somebody. I was like, could we just come down here for a drink on a friday she's like oh no no you have to know somebody i was like like be related to them she's like no just be visiting them i was like and one of them's got to be called margaret yeah i'm here for dawn yeah i'm dawn's grandson oh really gosh she talks about you all the time and i'll be like i don't want to talk about it yeah we've got a complicated relationship. That's why I'm here. She talks about me a lot. I'm here to see her. I need a drink. Make it a strong one.

Put it on Dawn's account. Put it on Dawn. Dawn will sort it out. Dawn's got a tab open. Right. And that's when you got a brochure for your parents. Oh, I messaged my mum. I sent her a video of like the chairs and the pool tables and there's like a putting green and a lawn bowls and an indoor pool and a gym.

And I was like, you are getting thrown in here. My mum would hate that. She'd be like, absolutely not. But they can have their own gardens. So Bev could be on board with a downsizing the garden. Right. And your mum's quite a social. Maybe I'll threaten her with that

when she tells me I'm driving 60 in a 50. You know, she's always saying, slow down. Slow down, slow down. You're about to go to a retirement village. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A recruiter has shared an interesting thing, something that you may think was a no-go. She said you absolutely have to lie in job interviews.

She's like, it is a must. And she's given three examples of where this would be helpful. The first one she says is about when asked about your relationship with former employees. Oh, I just say always great. Fantastic. Yeah. Make friends easily.

You've got to lie. You don't want to be like, oh, I had, you know, bit of a bastard manager or something like that. Well, because it just sounds like you're bad mouthing everybody, doesn't got to lie. You don't want to be like, oh, I had, you know, bit of a bastard manager or something like that. Well, because it just sounds like you're bad mouthing everybody, doesn't it? Absolutely. And that no one's going to get along with you. Absolutely. Okay, so lie about being likeable. Lie about being likeable. The second one

is why you want the job. Why do you think I want this job? I hate that question. It's like why does anyone work? So you can pay the bills and feed yourself. That is it. That is it. That is it. I mean, I get slightly more fulfillment, but a lot of people just work jobs for the purpose of funding their life,

and that's it. Sex at the end of it. At work, in the workplace. No, no, no. That's the only reason anybody does anything. For sex. Sex and water. Well, you only drink water so at the end of the day you can possibly have sex? Yeah. Sex and water. Well, you only drink water so you can

possibly have sex. Yeah, absolutely. So you meant to lie about that as well. Why you want the job? She said 100% you want the job because of money. Don't say that. Okay, just make up something like fulfillment and learning

and I want to develop as a person. I would 100% not hire you if you said that. For fulfillment. Give me a break. She said you should tell them why you're passionate about the company's mission.

Oh my God. No one's passionate about any why the short is your life's work. I mean, unless you work for a charity organization. I feel that question is not necessary. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally.

Totally. Well, you can lie about it though. The third one is your plan for the future. Okay. So she said they don't want to... Lie about that too. Yeah, totally. I actually think I did this. I applied for a job when I came back from

the UK. Prison. Because you were in prison. Because I was in prison. You were the unnamed female broadcaster even before you were a broadcaster. When I was 18. And I came back and I applied for a job knowing full well I was also applying for drama school. But I didn't tell them.

Because that was going to be a full time thing and I wasn't allowed to have a job. But she said, lie about your plan for the future if you're going to start grad school or you want to have a child or anything like that. Just don't tell them. Pay for the future, just like, I just want to focus on work. Yeah, I lied about a couple of things with my first radio job.

I was saying I knew how to use some program or editing thing. Yeah, totally. Oh, my God. You get the job and you just teach yourself really quickly how to do it. Computer skills, you're like, I absolutely know my way around an Excel spreadsheet. And that was before YouTube. Yeah, exactly. You didn't know anything on YouTube.

Yeah, totally. Anything. Well, yeah, but what if they were like, okay, Captain Smith. Yep. We're just interviewing. What am I piloting?

A 737. A 737 space rocket. Because in my mind, I was piloting a boat. Oh, because I was captain. This is a different job. Yeah, you've come to the wrong company. Yeah. Oh, no, no. I can do it all. I can do it all. Oh, because I was captain. This is a different job. Yeah, you've come to the wrong company.

Yeah. Oh, no, no. I can do it all. I can do it all. Right. What am I flying? Yeah. A boat.

A flying boat. A flying boat. A flying boat. It's like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I am. It's a car. It's a boat. It's a rocket.

It's everything. I'm Dick Van Dyke. You're Dick Van Dyke. And those duck boats that you always see at tourist lakes, they can now fly. Yeah.

He's got some kids. I don't know how those get off the ground, but they do. Yeah. But we wanted to take some- I do because I'm a pilot. We wanted to take some- That's why you didn't get the job. Of all moving vehicles, get in this train.

We wanted to take some calls this morning. Those lies that you did tell on a job interview, and did you get away with it, or did it come back to bite you on the ass? Totally. Like, maybe you said you could do something and then you were absolutely in the deep end first day. I've been someone's referee for a job.

I'm not an employer, a past employer, but I think they got fired from their last job. You've got to be careful because some people get sued for doing that, eh? Like, if the person ends up absolutely, like, screwing up big time or, like, doing something illegal, I think people have... Then they say, yeah, how did you... Yeah, okay.

You vouched for this person that stole like $100,000 from our company. Well, I wouldn't do that. This person was a decent person that I lied for, but they just got fired from their last job for being a bit of a slacker. Give us a call. 0800 dials at MSN number. Text through 9696. What was the biggest lie you made to get a job?

A recruiter has said that you should lie to certain questions in job interviews. Yes, and we want to know the lie that you told in order to get a job. Maybe you did what everyone does and said you're an absolute wizard, Excel.

Yeah. And then you're trying absolute wizard, Excel. Yeah. And then you're trying to find the auto-sum button and... But then you just Google how to do the auto-sum. I did that the other day. Yeah, you did. We've got some big fat porkies being told by. We've got some porkies, do we? We've got some huge big fat porkies.

I lied about knowing a second language. Oh my God. That is on a bit Google Translate, I guess. Or maybe just really quickly do Duolingo. Yeah, it turns out it wasn't so much a suggestion

as a requirement as one of the company's main clients only communicated in that language. You could put the live Google Translate on the phone

and put it on the desk, but then you did lie about it. Oh my God. And then you've got the job. I start talking to you

in like Spanish and you're like, see? When is this? And you're just got the job. I start talking to you in like Spanish and you're like, Si. Buenos dias. And you're just like, what? Si. I lied about living in Auckland. Si.

Hayley's just like, si papi. Si papi. I lied saying I lived in Auckland and I was available to start right away. Realistically, I lived in Timaru and I had never been to Auckland and had nowhere to live and didn't know anything about it. I love that though. Quite hard to get a flat. You just drive up and start and be like, cool.

I guess you're living in the car for the first few weeks. How many actors are texting and saying that they said they could ride horses to be in The Hobbit? So many actors. Somebody really hurt themselves coming off a horse on that. They did. Like a well-known, now they're well-known, but I think they were new at the time and they had a story

about how they fell off a horse film in the Hobbit. Keep your texts coming in. We are talking about the lies you bloody liar, liar, pants on fire has told to get a job. Because a recruiter has said that you must lie to get a job. Say what you know you want them to hear. I feel like they know though, right? I know, say what you know.

What you just said, was that English? Yeah, say what you know they want to just said, was that English? Yeah, say what you know they want to hear. I put in a couple extra words. I liked it. I mean, I kind of got the gist. I lied about being able to talk to get this job. Got the gist. Yeah. Some text. I said I could drive a tractor. Truth was that I'd

accidentally started a tractor when I was at a farm when I was four. Couldn't even drive a car. I burnt out the clutch on that tractor. Now, having some tractor experience, growing up on a farm, driving a tractor, you have to treat a tractor terribly to burn a clutch out. Are they not automatics?

They are now. A lot of them are now. You can still get a manual tractor. Oh my God, fun. Lied about being experienced with reptiles for a job at Pet City in the UK. I was not You can't just pick up a snake

I was responsible for the death of two snakes And I got fired for dropping a scorpion in the store And it had to be evacuated Oh my god So the dropped scorpion scurries away Like evacuate the store That is amazing What a story

I lied about having a previous degree And now I'm in my third year of nursing. My father was a doctor. I think that's how I managed to get away with it. You could go to prison for that, right? Yeah. I moved to Canada with a youth mobility visa and applied for and got a job as a ski lift operator.

I had never seen snow before. I knew nothing about skiing or snowboarding. That'll be because I'd never seen snow before. And learned the day before starting my job. Very steep learning curve. Very steep learning curve. Wow. I applied for a ski instructor role but couldn't actually ski.

I just wanted to hang out on the mountain with my mates who did. But how do you teach? You've got to teach like pizza, pizza, french fries. Pizza, pizza, french fries. Is that what you're saying? Pizza, pizza, french fries. What does that mean? Pizza is where you-

Like the angle. Yeah, where you keep your toes together and it slows you down and french fries speed you up and then you go pizza and lean and then you turn. Sometimes french fries have a curve on them. Yeah, and sometimes- What about waffle fries? Sometimes you get a reverse pizza.

Pizza, pizza, waffle fries. Pizza, pizza, waffle fries. Somebody said, oh my, why would you lie about knowing the human body massage? Oh my God, were you just poking around? Just rubbing around for an hour? Imagine if you paid like 70, 80 bucks for that whole hour and then you could just, you'd know instantly. You would know. You know the second that they put the oil on their hands and go that first run up the back,

whether they're going to be any good. And then getting towards the end, they're like, you've never done this before, have you? And they're like, no, but what if I give you... How about... Yeah, you're not going to be able to tell anybody that I wasn't proficient when I do this to you. Just grab it.

Jeepers, creepers. Pretty hard to go home and tell your wife that the person you had at the massage therapy definitely wasn't good when they have done that to you. Yeah. Do you feel the rain slowly slipping away from your hands? I feel like we've got two weeks of the show left and we're getting... Can I get an uwu? Uwu.

Can I get a uwu? Can I get a uwu? Uwu. Sexier. No. We're not moving on until you give me a sexy uwu. You need to. Uwu.

Uwu. Bourne, you're in trouble when Ross Boss gets to work. You're in trouble. Now, the return of I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. We welcome Sarah. Good morning, Sarah. Good morning, guys. Have you done all your Christmas shopping, Sarah?

I have, actually. Oh, my God. I was just about to say, what a stupid question. No, how are people like you so organised? I've done nothing. I think it's because it's like I have a kid, so I have to kind of get it done. Otherwise, I just completely forget about it.

I've got two of them, and there's not been a day of Christmas shopping. All right, Sarah, Vaughan's going to ask you five questions about your mum and then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name. If you can do that, you win $100. Yeah, you will. I've got a good feeling you will. Can you just write Pamela on the list? Are you just getting a Pamela vibe?

I just took my shoes off and I ground it and I think your feet went through the ground to me and that just came to my head. I'll give you a little bit of a bolt. What are your mum's sibling names, Sarah? Okay, so she's got Phillip.

Yeah. She's got Karen. She's got Maxine, and she's got Tracy. Maxine! Karen, Tracy, and Maxine. That is incredible. That gives you the era, doesn't it? Yeah, it gives me a hot taste of the late 50s, early 60s.

I wouldn't be surprised if mum's called Sharon with those names. What's your uncle's name? What was your uncle's name? Philip. Yeah, Philip. See, that's a bit more traditional, isn't it, than Maxine Tracy. Not the only one. What's that?

Maxine. Don't know that. What song? Who sings that? Oh. You don't know that song? No, I kind of do, but not to name. Don't know that song. Who sings that? Oh. You don't know that song? No, I kind of do, but not to name. She's a Kiwi.

Well, who sang it? Because that could be a good. Maxine, you're not the. Oh, my God. Just because you put me on the spot. Sharon O'Neill. Yeah, Sharon. See, Sharon.

We've got Sharon down. 1983. Okay. Sharon. Now, that could be my Friday flashback next week. Long tease. I don't think you'll get away with that. Long tease.

Got a Vicky on the list as well. Oh, that's good from you, actually. But I'm also going to go with Diane. I'd put a Christine on. Yeah. Similar vintage to your mum, do you think? Yeah, I might actually, Christine, I might go down that path. Might put a Bev.

Might put a Patsy. Well, Aaron's dad is Phillip and he's got a sister, Christine, so that's fantastic. What's his wife's name? Jeanette. You put Jeanette down, Jean. Go to mother-in-laws as well. Chuck Robsy on the list.

What are you thinking of getting mum for Christmas? Mum has asked for nothing for Christmas. Oh, my God. She does this every year, so to be concerned on what I'm going to get her, actually, though. Okay. What did you get her last year?

We got her family photos. Oh, nice. Perfect. That's great. Mums love that. Oh, actually, that's a really good idea. Is there an experience Mum could be into for Christmas? Because mum's quite like an experience.

Like a hot air balloon ride. Not mine, Christine. Mum's hobbies are dad's hobbies, and they kind of just go every second weekend anyway. What? They do what? What is it? You've been very vague on the hobby.

No, so dad runs racing cars, so they go away racing all the time. Oh, okay. That also gives me a little bit of an insight. We can go a little bit more West Auckland on the names there. Yeah, yeah. We can go... Like, who was...

What's her face from Outrageous Fortune? Cheryl. That was Cheryl, yeah. Cheryl West. Cheryl West. And you've got Robin down. That's the actress's name. Yeah, we're in a good...

Yeah, I think we're in a good corner here. Okay, next question. What's mum's dream holiday destination? Money's not an issue. Where's mum going on holiday? Mum is... I'm not probably going to America because dad would watch Formula One, so they're probably going there America because Dad would want to watch Formula 1,

so they're probably going there. Right. Big Formula 1. If money wasn't an option, I'd go to a European Formula 1. Yeah, same. One of the, like, you know. Yeah, the nice ones. Yeah.

What's the big one? Monaco. Monaco. Monaco Formula 1 would be a wow. The Grand Prix, I think. Monaco Grand Prix. That's what they call it. Grand Prix, as they say it.

It's important to hit the X. Yeah. Real hard. Okay, we've got a Wendy. Oh, yeah, put a Wendy down. That's what they call it Grand Prex As they say it It's important to hit the X Yeah Real hard Okay we've got a Wendy Oh yeah put a Wendy down That's a good one Got a Wendy Got a

Barbara Barbara yep Helen Put a Helen down maybe Yeah I'll chuck a Helen on the list It's kind of from that era Might put a Jenny If we're on Helen Clark

We might as well go Jenny Shipley Yeah just do all the female And then I want to go a Ruth Richardson Yeah do Ruth Yep Jacinda's too young Has mum Yeah nah Has mum got any beef with anybody If we're on Helen Clark, we might as well go Jenny Shipley. Yeah, just do all the female. And then I want to go Ruth Richardson. Yeah, do Ruth, yep. Jacinda's too young. Has mum got any beef with anybody?

You don't have to name them, but it's just important to know, has mum got any ongoing beef with anybody? She's like, I've had a guts full of. Probably the council. Probably a pothole or two. No, she's too nice. Oh, she's nice. She's nice.

I was thinking of her as being more of a hard-edged woman. Yeah, no, that's where her daughters take the reign. Yeah, that's what I'm getting from you, Sarah, and I like it. I like it.

Okay. Linda. Who's mum's best friend? Probably Linda. Linda. I just wrote Linda down. You just wrote Linda. I just wrote Linda down. You're sparking. You're sparking. Yeah, yeah, I'm hot. Yeah, he's Linda. Linda. I just wrote Linda down. You just wrote Linda. I just wrote Linda down.

You're sparking. You're sparking. Yeah, yeah, I'm hot. Yeah, he's hot. Okay. Chomping. Don't do that. He's chomping.

Don't chomp. Are those your five questions? Yep. Okay, well, Sarah, Vaughn now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. We'll give you 15 seconds, Vaughn. If you hear your mum's name, Sarah, yell out, stop. That's your mum's name. We'll give you 15 seconds, Vaughn. If you hear your mum's name, Sarah, yell out stop. That's my mum's name. Vaughn, your time starts

now. Pamela, Susan, Donna, Julie, Nicola, Sharon, Mary, Vicky, Diane, Christine, Bev, Patsy, Jeanette, Robin, Andrea, Cheryl, Tanya. Stop, that's my mum's name. Which one? Robin. That's my mum's name. That's my mother-in-law's name. There you

go. And it was Robin Malcolm who played... Robin Malcolm played Shura West. Oh! We were getting the Bogan vibes, car racing vibes, weren't we? That was like, looking back on it now, that was like... That was brilliant. Dogs, a couple of dogs,

rounding up the sheep into the pen, wasn't it? Perfect, wasn't it? It was perfect. Well, Sarah, it? Perfect, wasn't it? It was perfect. Good. See you later. It's triggered it. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name.

It's not one of the Beatles. You reckon it's not? It's not one of our go-to. You're spot on there. It's not one of our top fives. Well, your mother-in-law's got a Pete. She's got a Pete. I can't get past a Pete. Yeah, no, it's not a of our go-to. You're spot on there. It's not one of our top fives. Well, your mother-in-law's got a Pete. She's got a Pete. I can't get past a Pete. Yeah, no, it's not a Peter or a John.

It's got to be, do you think, something a bit more... It's a Brent. Brent. Now we're in the area. Nah, it's got to be a Brent. Nah, it's not a Brent. It's more of a Brent than a Brent.

Kevin or a Steve? It'll be a Kevin. I reckon it's... It's got to be a Motorhead's name. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Steve. I'm getting real Steve vibes. Motorheads are our favourite motorheads.

Peter Brock. Keith and Robin. Greg Murphy. Greg. Greg? Oh, my God, it could definitely be Greg. I've got a feeling of Greg. Motorhead.

I've got goosebumps. Oh, my God. It's got to be Greg. It's Greg. Okay, are you locking in Greg? It simply cannot be another name. What is your dad's name? My dad's name is Greg.

No, it is not! No, it is not! Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I also just swore as I ran past him. I don't know if anybody picked that up, but I do apologise for my language. You are effing kidding me.

Yes! Good old Griggles. Griggles and Robin. I've heard my heel. My God, I love this game so much. I punched a window. I was going to smack the microphone over. Because you were thinking Greg Murphy, right?

I was overwhelmed. Greg Murphy. You said Motorhead, Robin, Mouth, and we got on to West. There was a Holden. There was a Holden. Oh, yes. This is great. Sarah, you've just won $100 because Vaughn guessed your mum's name and $100 because he guessed his dad's name.

No, I believe that is $200. Thank you. Good maths from you, Hayley Sproul. That is fantastic. Well done, Sarah. Well done, Vaughan. What a great way to end the year. But I can guess your mum's name.

Good success rate. Congratulations, Sarah. Thank you guys so much. That'll help with the Christmas shopping for mum and dad. I decided to try something yesterday. Important to try things, keep the marriage fresh. Oh, you will agree. I'm a man that quite often...

I heard that. I didn't hear it and I don't think it bears repeating. No. You will agree, Fletch, that I'm a man that quite often needs a little direction. Yeah. A little push in the right direction. A little G up. A little command,

if you will. Yeah. I'll just be like, like before when I was like, ah, don't eat that. He was spoon to gob. You were about to eat, we had 10 seconds to go on here and I had to tell you to not eat. Because I was about to have to back sell the Dua Lipa song on BBC One. Yes.

Of course. And tell Harry he's a wizard. So I wasn't going to put any more food in my mouth. Now, it may surprise you both that that carries over to my personal life. Yes. Every now and then I get distracted and I need a little point in the right direction. You've got me, your work wife. And Sade, my life wife.

Yeah, exactly. So for most of the day, you've got someone to just keep you covered. Yeah. Sort you out. Keep you pointed in the right direction. Now, yesterday I wasn't in the mood for it. So Sade, when Sade gave me instructions or commands, I started replying, yes, sergeant. Wow.

I don't like it. It's very bratty, isn't it? Did you do the military salute? I did a couple of times. Like if I had hands free, I'd say, yes, sergeant. Yeah. Like, get all of this off the bench, sergeant. Oh, yeah, I'd hate that.

Why are you always leaving stuff on the bench? She's always telling you. It's always the bench. But she'll go in. Why are you always leaving stuff on the bench? She's always telling you. It's always the bench. But she'll go in and she'll take all her stuff off the bench, then be like, this bench is a mess. So that I'm the only bad guy. I clean up my stuff and then I look at his and I go, Aaron, what is all this stuff on the floor?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, he looks around and he's like, I'm just weird she had stuff on the floor as well. Yeah. Prove it. Yeah. We're putting the topper on the bed, Sergeant. Yeah, like that.

Does she like the topper? Likes the topper. So I'm like, yes, Sergeant, et cetera. So it went on for a few, it went on and she said, stop that. And I said, do you not like it? Because you are now realizing how often I'm just commanded by it. Like it's confronting.

Yeah. To know that you're bossing him. Is this what you wanted her to see? Correct. Right. You're a prick. Because it happens a lot. Yeah.

So when we were driving, I said before we went to the retirement home to take the girls to the choir, and she's like, slow down, Sergeant. Like, just like, and it's really, she's like, stop it. And then we were pulling in and into the, there was a car park. I was like, oh, I can't see any car parks. And she said, just park there. I said, well, I can't park there. That's like access parking.

She's like, I couldn't see it, park there. And I was like, Sergeant. Wow. It is grinding me and it's not even directed at me. I think she doesn't know how often she just says commands. And I acknowledge

I am a man that often needs a point in the right direction. You're useless sometimes. I don't mind it being delivered pleasantly. Okay. Yeah. Do you know what? Wow. Do you know what else happened?

There was a light. There was something on the windscreen. So I went squirt. Always hold the squirt down for a long time. And windscreen wipers on. Oh, my God. You are just. Turn it off.

I'm like, Sergeant, flip it off. Oh, my God. You are playing with fire. Wow, yeah. I know. And you guys have to hang out with us this afternoon, and I feel there might be some turmoil in the Smith house. Some tension.

No, but she'll just save it all for when you get home. She's not going to tell you off in front of us. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give her too many Proseccos. And I'm going to turn your night into a nightmare. And that'll teach you. Sergeant. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do you think we've had more finger waggles from Fletch this week than any other week this year so far? It's because I'm trying to derail. You've both been so bratty today and this week. And I know we've still got two weeks of shows to go. I want you to keep it professional. No, only one week. Two weeks, hon.

No! Yeah, it's two weeks. It started this morning because Fletch will always say in the air break, alright, Hayley, you're going to lead this and then Vaughan, you do this. And every time he's done it this morning, we've told him to F off. We'll be like, can you lead this? And I'll say, don't tell me what to do.

I get a lot of respect behind the scenes. So much. Yeah. You suck. It's the final fact of the blood week. Yes. Hair effect of the day. No menstrual facts. True. Wow, he does hate women, doesn't he?

I don't hate them. We bleed constantly. I don't respect them. I mean, it technically should be 50% of the facts, right? Because 50% women. Yeah. This is% woman. Yeah. This is about woman. Okay.

And men? No, it's way more about woman and the men fact is only in there for a comparison. I'm just saying perhaps we could have a menstruation week. Well, this is about when menstruation stops. But it's not menopause. It's pregnancy. Oh. Pregnant women have roughly 50% more blood by week 20 of their pregnancy than they did before conception

Oh wow Because you're keeping a human being alive inside of you It's not the baby What is that? It's in the woman It's in the woman Where? All around

I mean you obviously get bigger The placenta A lot of blood sits in the placenta What about those women that like think their appendix is burst and they're actually giving birth, or people that are nearly having the baby and they barely show? Yeah. They've got 50% more blood.

They've got 50% more blood. The average woman has roughly 50% more blood by the week, 20 of the pregnancies. That's only halfway through the pregnancy. That's not crazy. Than they did before conception. Humans, on average, have five litres of blood. Men have five and a half litres.

Women have four and a half litres. Wow. But the average baby has a cup of blood when it's born. Yeah, right. Only a cup. Only a cup? The average baby only has a cup of blood. Are they dry in there?

Then they have to start producing their own. But what's inside their flesh? Blood. Only a cup. But they're just little tiny things. They're just so little, it's only a cup. And they're all fat. They're all fat and stuff.

So fatty, fatty, fat, fat. But they've been plugged into mum's placenta. Yeah. And that placenta has a lot of blood in it. I know. I picked one up once. 50% more blood at week 23. They're heavy, eh?

They're amazing. And I held it up to the light and you see all the veins and stuff. Incredible things. We just make that. Yeah, you just make one of those. You just make one. Do you need any one of those blood sacs? I'll make one.

Yeah. My body. Done. So yeah, that accounts for a lot of the blood, the placenta. But yeah, the pregnant female body just carries a lot more blood. That is wild.

Yeah. And it blew my mind that a baby's born with about a cup of blood. The average baby's got a cup of blood. Because I thought heaps of it would have been the baby. It's not. And it's not. It sits in the placenta and it's just what the body needs to get going. So today's fact of the day is pregnant women have about 50% more blood

by halfway through their pregnancy than they did before they were pregnant. Fact of the day, day to be a pretty good day. Really? Yeah. It's definitely gone on the up. We all arrived being like, oh, a bit tired today. And then we got silly and started sort of workplace bullying. Yeah, it's really brought my mood around.

Yeah, it's really brought my mood around. Yeah, the guy that's got zero worries outside of the three hours that he's here sometimes he's an easy target oh no and you pile it on him and then it's off your shoulders it's on his shoulders

he can carry that into the weekend and then you get mum and dad's nose just a fantastic morning yeah that turned it around the Land Rover's getting a warrant

they rang me yesterday saying it's gonna get a warrant but they're just getting some new spark plugs for it so it's a good day Ted the Landy's gonna be absolutely humming I'm gonna get my eyes checked I'm finally getting some glasses because my for it. So it's a good day. Ted Delandy is going to be absolutely humming. I'm going to get my eyes checked.

I'm finally getting some glasses because my long vision is going again. We're popping around to the Sprouts this afternoon, and they've always got a cocktail waiting for you when you're pulling the driver. I'm making Negroni sours. Yum, yum, yum. And then a nice meal in the Santa Parade. Yeah, I'm excited. We're all going tonight to your little local Santa Parade.

It's the QMU Santa Parade. Five years ago today, we moved out there. Yeah, I'm excited. We're all going tonight to your little local Santa Parade. It's the QMU Santa Parade. This is when we, five years ago today we moved out there. Yeah. Which just kind of feels like it's gone nowhere. And I remember when we, what? What'd you laugh? It just sounded really like depressing. Yeah, five years where did it go?

No, it just seemed like it's going, you said it's going nowhere. It's gone nowhere. Oh yeah, I didn't mean like gone nowhere, like nothing's been achieved. I just said like it's going. You said it's going nowhere. It's gone nowhere. Oh, yeah. I didn't mean like gone nowhere. Like nothing's been achieved. I just feel like it's gone like that. Five years has passed very quickly. Yeah, you're just stuck in this hole. Five years just achieved nothing.

When we moved there five years ago, they said, and the Santa Parade's on, so we'd like finished moving. There was boxes everywhere. Let's go to the Santa Parade. And we went down to the Santa Parade and we got there and we were like, oh, it'll be like Santa Parades we've been to elsewhere when we used to live in suburban Auckland. And we got out there and then people are,

it's an evening Santa Parade. And we walked down and some dude was like, did you not bring any drinks? I was like, what? Yeah, this is the only reason I've seen this. He was like, share one of these. And he passed me like a Cody's. I was like, oh, we're this is the only reason I've said yes. He was like, shab, what are these? And he passed me like a Cody's. I was like, oh, we're in wild West Auckland now, boy.

This is why I've said yes to coming out because, you know, I hate Santa parades. I was so happy when that one got cancelled last year because of the rain because it goes past my house. It's so loud. It's so loud. You get the big parade. You get the big official Auckland parade.

Yeah. And so you were like, no, it's just like a BYO, but you watch a Santa parade. I was like, that's funny. Yeah. I don't know if we talk too loudly about how it's BYO, but we definitely would pick up a pick and a chili bin in the BYO and have some snacks and stuff.

It's a Fonzie area there, the alcohol parades. Oh, it's Fonzie. It's the Wild West, baby. And so, yeah, we're going to pop ourselves on the side of the road there with some fold-out chairs and watch the Santa parade. The best one was when the... And it's been a couple... I don't think there was one last year because of...

It was like 2020 we had... It was... Everybody was... The world was melting down, but we were like, no, we're all good, and I think we had a Santa Parade that year, but I feel like we missed one.

21 was the year that it was all caca. Yeah, yeah. Everything was a bit dud. So it's back, and I hope the Home Kill guy's in it again because he had the home kill truck out. And if you're familiar with home kill, it's where they come to your farm,

shoot your animals and butcher them on the spot. Oh my God, what float did he have? He had his truck with the thing he hangs the dead animal off out the back with a fake reindeer hanging off it. Yes! Oh my God. I'm excited for this. I'm excited.

There's marching bands. Well, there was last time. The guy with the tank can't go in it this year. And he blamed the bureaucrats. But then the bureaucrats came on the local community page and said, actually, he didn't apply to even be in the parade until the entries had been two weeks closed and we were full.

We've reached out capacity. Oh, but he left the tank in. That's fun. He's always hitting around in that tank. I'm so excited to find out what, because you told us the story about the home kill thing. And I was like left the tank in. That's fun. He's always hitting around in that tank. I'm so excited to find out what, because you told us the story about the home kill thing, and I was like, I'm in. And then yesterday we were telling our builder,

who's local, Kurt, we were chatting to him about like, oh, God, we're off to the Santa parade tomorrow. He was like, mate, I'm in it. I was like, what do you mean you're in it? He's like, yeah, I'm in it. I was like, I'll chuck you some lollies. And I was like, doing what? Wait, they threw lollies?

Yeah, dude. Oh, my God, this is great. I'm excited. I'm so excited. Part of me wanted to get my marching uniform off my coach and just chuck it in. There was a marching band last time. Not, oh, was it your kind of marching? No, it's the ones that play the instrument as a marching band. Question, I

don't have like a fold-out chair, like a beach chair or anything like that. Can I take an office work chair and bring it back on Monday? Yeah, or like a wheelie one. One on wheels with a... Because then you can hook onto the back of one of the things and go for a little ride. Yes.

Oh, my God, great. Yeah. Oh, no, the roads aren't that smooth. Producer car one, I'm going to need to take one of the producer chairs home tonight in Hayley's car. Thank you. Yeah.

I want a spare fold-out chair. I don't want a fold-out. I want an office chair. It's got back support. There's good back support. Where do you steal that from? Wait, do you have a drinks holder though? Yes. See, I broke all our deck chairs because we've been living on them for a year. Yeah, I wonder if I could get a drink holder on this office

chair. That would be revolutionary. You're good with your woodwork and stuff. Get him to build you one. It will work. It will be lovely. I've never used Bumble, the dating app, because... This is the one where girls have to message first. The women initiate the conversation,

and then the conversation floweth. Now, apparently, when I was talking about this this morning, apparently there's a thing on Bumble that producer Jared brought up that even though the women were still finding a loophole to make the man do the heavy lifting. Yeah, this is why I didn't like Bumbles because you match and then instead of them being like, hey, what's your favourite colour? They just send the little wave emoji.

Blue, mine's blue. A little wave and then you had to be like, wave back, hi, how are you, and then you're just essentially initiating. Exactly. Yeah, right. Felt like a waste of time. I also didn't match with too many people on it. Oh, you're a handsome lad.

Thank you. And you've got a hot middie. Oh, she's so hot. She is so hot. It's honestly unreal. Okay, I think you've gone a bit far now. Have I? Because I would.

Do you know what I mean? I would. Yeah, no, that's what we were picking up, and now you've really gone there. now. Have I? Because I would. Do you know what I mean? I would. Yeah, no, that's what we were picking up and now you've really gone there. Oh, sorry. Sade's hot. It's just hotties all round. Anyway, there's a new bar opening up.

It's in the UK, but I think they're wanting to expand worldwide that is basically doing this. So it's a strict rule that forbids men to approach women that they don't know and the women, if you want to approach you have to initiate, just like Bumble. So if a man was to come to you

in this bar and approach you it's a no-no, you get kicked out. So there are constantly what bounces keeping an eye on the bar. Yeah. And then if the woman's got an issue they're just like, well I guess, I didn't ask this guy to talk to me. Yeah, well they're advertising it as a speakeasy jazz bar aimed at singles to go and mingle. So you only go there to meet people.

Well, I think they said like, you're not allowed to approach women you don't know. So I assume you could like, we could all go together looking to mingle outside of our threesome. I do like those speakeasy, those secret bars. They're pretty cool.

It looks like that. It's cocktails. It's dark. It's dim. It's bougie. There's velvet and leather. Very much our vibe. And drinks are $25 each.

That's not my vibe. For a vodka soda. But yeah, basically it's the bumble thing. And it's to make, I guess, women feel safer out in the daily world and just to be a little bit less harassed than perhaps other singles. Yeah. Bars by initiating the conversation.

I don't even know what I'd say to initiate a conversation anymore. I used to just do this. I used to do that. You still say sup. Do you still say sup? Sup. No, I go up in there and if they give me eyes and I go, what's up?

Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good intro. Yeah. And it just makes them very happy. George is up next, Friday Jams. If you missed any of the shows this week, you can listen to iHeartRadio, wherever you podcast. We'll catch you back tomorrow with our bottom of the front show.

Can you stop banging the desk, please? You're banging the desk and it's coming through the microphone. Can you imagine? If we did that, with this hand, if you could just join that, you're like, if you're in your car and you're like,

oh my God, my car's ticking. It's because this arse was banging the desk and it was carrying through the microphones. That's because I have to tell Warnoff about 10 times

for typing too loudly. Okay, we've got two weeks of shows left. Hang in there. God, we are fighting two weeks of shows left. Hang in there. God, we are fighting. Natention has burst. Well, if you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates.

You know what? I reckon your script reading is getting better. Thank you. I give it five stars. Just like I give this podcast. I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast Thank you Vaughan and Hayley

For that Good boy ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley