ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st June 2023

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Kegs  Skiplagging  Vaughans Washing Basket  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!Fletch's Nipple FiascoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, two minutes past six. Well, as you heard Sam just mention there, maybe some new vaping laws.

Oh no, I was thinking about taking it up. In the days ahead. I think that one of the new laws they should instigate is you only have to blow it out of your nose so you look a bit more like a dragon. I don't like seeing it come out the mouth. I want it streaming out the nostrils. You want it like a dragon. Every time.

On the agenda, on the show this morning, you've actually got some stats Hayley. I sure do. I've got some durry stats. On the age group that is smoking the most in New Zealand. It won't be the young'uns. No, because they're all vaping. But is it your boomers?

I'm not going to spoil it now, or otherwise, what's the point in talking about it afterwards? What's the point? You're right. I'm going to give you a big fat tune in. A big fat tune in next. Yeah. On the show, also coming up, we've got the top six. Milk kegs are a thing.

This is a wonderful idea for cafes that go through like 12, 2 litres a day. That's a lot of plastic. Why not use one reusable milk keg? It's a plastic 18 litre container and it's refilled and you get to use the milk. It's a good idea.

And then refill it in semi-plastic. Absolutely brilliant idea. Those families that have like 18 kids, it'd be good for them too. They could just have a shelf in the fridge dedicated to milk. And put it up high so the young one can't reach it because, you know, the young one's always sneaking milk. Yeah, always.

I've been wanting to because I want to, eventually when the house is done in five years, I would love to put a keg in the garage, you know, by the pool table. Now I want it more than ever. But you don't drink beer. You want a keg of wine. No, I'll put a keg of beer in there,

but also I'll put a wine tap. A wine tap would be good. And then you just like screw the bottle in and then put it upside down like those Jack Daniels pourers that my uncle's got into my mind. Yeah. You're definitely going to be one of those old couples with no kids and you have a home bar in the garage. A well-stocked bar.

Dreamy. Dream. Dream situation. I had a great uncle with no kids who had an in-home bar yeah I don't remember as a kid just being fascinated with it yeah you've got no money

you've got no kids to spend money on so bar yeah easy oh my god polished top top six

dealing with this milk keg yeah the top six other things that should definitely come in kegs it's coming up play

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Siggy's Durry's Darts Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Ciggies, durries, darts. There's another term I won't say it on radio. There's a lot of names for the ciggies. But whenever I see someone on the ciggies now, I'm always like, huh, interesting. I like when you can smell them.

Yeah. Where? Where who? They stick out a mile away, eh, ciggy smokers? Yeah, totally. I've still got a couple of friends who smoke, but that number is like a slither of what it used to be. Yeah. And maybe a couple of friends that were like on a big night out

might have a couple, but not really anyone who's so dependent on them. The reformed smokers social smoke now. Oh, yeah. When they go old school, when they give up the digital vape stick to go back to the analogue, Dari. Yeah. It's wild.

Have a couple on a big night out. Well, we know that young people aren't smoking in the same way. It's just not part of their culture like it was part of ours. And I think yesterday was World Smoke-Free Day, where people, you know, there's big campaigns. I missed it. Happy World Smoke-Free Day for yesterday. Every day is World Smoke-Free Day for me.

Yeah, and good morning to our smoke-free listeners. We love having you here. Good morning to our smoking listeners. Well, yeah, just good morning to all of our listeners. I don't want to leave anybody out. Good morning to all of our listeners. Oh, and our Antarctic listeners as well. We do have some Antarctic listeners. We do.

So apparently the age group that still has the highest number of smokers are middle-aged people between 45 and 64. And they're just your long-term, reliant, dependent smokers who have always smoked. The director of Action for Smoke-Free 2025, because they were hoping New Zealand is totally smoke-free in the next couple of years, says that that's the generation that will be,

within the next 10 to 15 years, will start facing the illnesses related to smoking. Right. So it'll kind of sort itself out. Is that what he's saying? Yeah, basically. In less words, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Because I'd say most of my friends that would be, say, 30s, 40s that did smoke have either gone to vapes or have quit. Yes. Like, very few friends actually still smoke ciggies. Yeah. I'm just I'm really struggling To think of

Any of my friends That smoke Yeah I've never really been I've never really had A social circle With a lot of smokers in it But yeah

I have actors man They love Actors and ciggies Chefs Chefs Love a ciggie Love a ciggie Arguably two career paths that you shouldn't smoke

because actors, you need your voice and chefs, you need your taste buds. Yeah. Yeah. So only 331,000. Is that only or is it still? 331,000 Kiwis, 8% of us still smoke. And like they're saying,

the campaigns and the way that smoking is perceived now has been incredibly successful. Like young people just don't reach for them. Now vaping's our next issue I guess. Yeah because they brought it. Primary school intermediate and high school's vaping so that's an issue. But yeah

apparently the government may make an announcement in the next few days. Yeah so our number of smokers is this already info from the census? No, probably not. No, I don't think. No, no, no, they've delayed. This week there was a story about how they're having to delay the census info because there's not enough people have done it.

Oh, guys, do the census. I waited right till the last minute so I could get the Warriors tickets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew if you held out and didn't do the census, they'd come forward with some goodies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew if you held out and didn't do the census they'd come forward with some goodies. Yeah, I got a countdown voucher. Our number of smokers

is down 9.4% from the previous year and 16.4% from the year before that. So it's like dropping rapidly. Is it because it's like people are realising it's unhealthy

or because it's now so expensive? Dude, so expensive. So expensive. When I smoked, which was like so many years ago, it was like 10 bucks. realizing it's unhealthy or because it's now so expensive that so expensive when i smoked which was like so many years ago it was like 10 bucks yeah now it's like what 20 is it i don't even know how much back it is but it would be ridiculous right how how much is a pack of smokes i mean i know when you're in southeast asia they're like 40 cents and everyone is smoking. You're like, this is not good. So do you know, the rollout plan to have smoke

free is from July 1st 2024, retailers will be limited. 2025, the amount of nicotine in cigarettes will be limited. And then 2027, we're out. Wow. Did you find the price? So a 30 gram pouch of pouch tobacco. Yep.

You know, rollies. Yeah, rollies. $79. Whoa! I remember when that was like $20 when I moved to the servo. Wow. Get off the days, guys. You can't afford it. That's insane. Next on the show, silly little poll. Participation awards.

Yay or nay? Oh, I'm a big nay on these. Can't say I've ever received one. We've close. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Silly little pole Silly little pole

It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly Little Pole Participation awards, yes or no? That is today's Silly Little Pole. I think it depends on what it is.

Like your classic Kiwi Kids triathlon. That's an undertaking though for a kid. There's a lot of adults that couldn't do that. What is the distance? Last time I looked at it, I was like, yeah, good on them. They've got little wee legs. Yeah, but if I did it, I'd kick their ass. Even now.

You know what? That sounds like a challenge. Wow. I will do the next Kiwi Kids Triathlon and I will ruin them. Will you win? Yeah. Look, I'm so tall alone. I mean, my stride is simply wider.

Up to 15 years old. Have you seen what 15-year-olds look like nowadays? Yeah, they're like basketball. Yeah. Okay, well, this is what I'm looking forward to, the next Kiwi Kids Triathlon. Do you have the links that it is? That's what I'm just on their website now. Because even now, like, you do a half marathon, you get a medal.

Yes, you do. A little tiny medal. And you never used to. So even the adults. But then a half marathon, again, is an undertaking that, like, I'm guessing the majority of the population couldn't do. 100% it is. It's something you work towards.

Yeah. And it's a struggle. And you pay an entry fee. Yeah, but do you deserve a medal if you came like 410th? You did it. I'd rather... I think the people who come 410th deserve a medal more than the person that come 21st. Because they were out there

for a lot longer. And they slogged it. Yeah, but like I did a half marathon and I was just happy with myself. And my effort. Like I didn't need a medal. You're throwing the medal away. I didn't get a medal. I thought you got a medal. You're also not huge on receiving praise.

I don't need a medal. I do. I collect them. Right. Okay. Well, so this is the whole question today is participation awards. I'm just trying to find out the length of the Kevick and Strathmore. Oh my God, let me find out.

On their official website. Sanitarium. Here it is. Weebyx, where is it held? It's held all over the place. Who started it? I don't want to know who started it. I want to know what are the distances? I'd have to borrow a bike. Can I use an e-bike? No, you can't use an e-bike.

How dare you? Oh, okay. Here we go. Distances. Distances. FAQ. Distances, distances, FAQ, distances, distances. I could do this. At the event, the course. Here we go, distances. I've got an Iron Kids Summer Triathlon Series. Okay, here we go. 11 to 15-year-olds.

A 200-meter swim. Easy. Oh, I could do that. An 8K cycle and one and a half kilometer run. Easy. Oh, I could do that. I know you could do it, but I bet there's a 15-year-old that could beat you. One and a half kilometre run.

If you said a 15-year-old, I think 15's that peak thing where you don't even really need to try to be fit. You just muck around with your mates. They don't have the endurance. You don't need endurance. They're on their Playstations too much.

They're on TikTok too much. They're doing TikTok. The TikTok dancers, they're half-arsed as well, so that's not doing anything for their fitness. TikTok fitness challenges. You know?

They'd be out there. They'd smoke you two off. Your knees, Fletcher's knees would shit out on the run and he'd be like, oh no, no, no, no, no. I've retired from running.

Yeah. But the swim, I'd smoke them. Oh, you'd smoke them on the swim. And the bike, you're a good, you're a success.

We're like racing six-year-olds, eh? No, you said you could win the Webex Kiwi Kids Triathlon and so you are being pitted against 11 to 15-year-olds, eh? No, you said you could win the Webex Kiwi Kids Triathlon. I didn't say that. Hayley said that. You are being pitted against 11 to 15-year-olds.

Hayley said that. Yeah, and good morning to our 11 to 15-year-old listeners. You don't, Hayley, let me get you. You never say anything like this on the radio because it's going to come back to bite you in the arse. I'm going to take you on. You're going to be lined up in your swimming trunks on that pool wall where you're going to dive in

and some kid's going to dive in and not even take a breath on the first leg. One of those poor teenagers swimming next to me in my bikini. That's a 33-year-old woman. I doubt I'll distract them

with my adult breasts. And then you'll be arrested before the end of the swimming leg. Man, that is a 15-year-old boy. You can't be distracting him with your breasts. I think Weet-Bix Sanitarium are pulling their sponsorship at this rate. Seven-day dentists.

We can't have those titties involved in the triathlon. This is the Weet-Bix camp against triathlon, not the titty-athlon, right? Get them boobies out of here. Today's cylinder poll. How do we feel about participation awards? 74% of people say no way. 26% of people say yes. Ah, Zoe.

I'd love to see the age breakdown of that. If it's the generation that have been, you know, bought up with participation awards and now they're younger adults and they're like, yeah, it's fair to get an award. Of course, that's great. Yeah. Zoe writes, As a teacher, I find it absolutely ridiculous

how many awards and certificates we give out for the most asinine achievements. Yes. Asinine. This teacher sounds like the one that everyone's like, that teacher's a bitch. No, but aren't your kids getting an award every week for picking up rubbish and just turning up?

If you go to every single day of school, you get an award, but no kid goes to every single day of school anymore. Congratulations. You turn up for life every day and you get an award. Your parents get you out of bed. It should be an immune system award.

No wonder these kids get to work and they're like, but I'm not getting an award for being here for a week. But you're every single day. No kids live that time. You see how sick kids get all the time. I was here every day.

Yeah, that's because your mum hated you. She was like, you've got bronchitis, go to school. Yeah, what do you mean you can't breathe? Pin me down, it's not even a thing. She goes on to say, such a waste of time and makes the real achievements seem less than they are because they get awarded for everything. Yeah. Yeah, it does weaken it.

But if it's the thing that gets the kid who's struggling to just, you know, try a little bit harder. Maybe they should try a different sport. No, I mean just in life. Maybe they should try reading, speed reading. Yeah, but that's not, yeah, because my thing is it doesn't represent life, does it? You're not getting awarded in the workplace every week for anything.

There should be more adult fun and adult awards. It's called money. Yeah, it's called money. You do get rewarded every day. Yeah, and how does that add? When work asks, what can we do to make this a better workplace? Don't ask about money. But what else can we do?

Please don't ask about wages. But what else would make this? Pizza parties. Yes, I thought so. Awards. Awards. Pizza parties are basically certificates for adults. Yes.

All right? Yeah. Claire said, I vote yes because if I'm running a 5K, 10K, or full marathon, I want a goddamn medal. Fair enough. Gemma says, yes, but only for a certain age and specific situations such as to encourage kids to participate if they might be shy. Sometimes a wee award like that can boost the confidence

and help get them started into something new. Okay. Kate said, one of my top reasons for muting people on social media is people's stupid kids getting stupid awards. Yeah, stupid. Post them when they get a real prize. You've got to mute your friends as soon as they put the baby scan up or the engagement

photo. Even if you just notice them putting on a little weight in the middle area, block them. Yeah. Mina says I said yes, but only if the participation was optional. So if you didn't have to participate,

you chose to, you get an award, but if you're forced to do it, you shouldn't get a participation award because it was out of your hands. That's actually a really good approach to it. Hannah says no, suck it up your hands. That's actually a really good approach to it. Hannah says, no, suck it up, princess. Okay, well, wouldn't,

let's not say princess. That's inferring that the female is the weak agenda. She's cancelled. Good lord, she didn't think she was cancelled. That was fun.

I can see why people do that. Let's give her a certificate, though, for participating in the poll. Yeah. Yes, actually, we'll send them out. For participating. Yeah. We'll give her a certificate when she vehemently said poll. Yeah. Yes, actually, we'll send them out. Thank you very much for participating.

Yeah. We're giving her a certificate when she vehemently said no. Wow. What a move. What a move, yeah. What a move. It's a great move. Dan said,

I was all for participation awards until I got a real award and then I thought it cheapened my real award. But that was the thing. The participation awards encouraged you to get the real award. Now, did you see this message in the group chat from Carmel McJones? Yes. Your friend entered the Kiwi Kids Weet-Bix Triathlon as a 20-something. Yes.

Junior, different mic. That mic's not working. This one? Yes. Yay. Beautiful. Yes, so my friend is a comedian, and for part of his Comedy Fest sketch, actually,

he decided to do the Weet-Bix triathlon. Is this Jack Anset? It sure is. Now, wait, was he allowed to? He looks like a 15-year-old. No offence. He does look like a 15-year-old boy. He looks like he's had a massive growth spurt,

but still like 14, so they didn't really question him. And where did he finish? Look, he got a participation award of course of course he did he did also cheat he did get in a car

and drive oh right okay you son of a bitch Jack love that hilarious though love that well there you go votes are in

yeah yeah my awards are pretty neat both of my kids got player of the day last week. I just want to say. We don't care.

We don't care. How do I mute? We don't care. Oh, I just turned this mic off. That muted him. They both got player of the week. Yeah, but they were the only player on the team. That's not how hockey and nipple work.

Although if they were the only, if you are the only person that turns up to your sport, you should get more than that, I think. If you take on an entire team by yourself, you should get the gutsy award. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, I said, when it comes to funerals,

one out of every eight men are taking... Men. Men are taking... Oh, these. Taking my pass. What? Vaughn's got a guess. I've taking... Oh, these. Taking my piss. What? Vaughan's got a guess. I've got something in my bag.

Well, you've got something in your bag. What is it? Are they taking their mothers as their date to the funeral? No. Funeral tissues. Did you steal those from the office? I sure did. Yeah, I saw they had a pile of them.

You can't always forget to get funeral tissues before a funeral. These are the little packet of tissues you get from the supermarket or the dairy. My mum always tosses me one before a grandparent funeral. These are the little packet of tissues you get from the supermarket or the dairy. My mum always tosses me one before a grandparent funeral. She knows you're a blubberer. I'm the worst. I'm a big blubberer. I'm shocking.

At any funeral, I just get there and I've been to support friends and the minute I see them upset, I'm like, oh my God. And it just gets me. I'm so terrible at funerals.

But then at the end of it, God, it feels good after a good cry. But you know how, like, when you're at a funeral and you're not the closest relation and then you're like, I feel bad for being this upset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that's me at funerals and I'm trying to hide it. So then I'm feeling shame and emotion and it's all like, what's happening? You're more upset than some of the family members.

Yes. Oh, my God. That's bad. They've been dealing with it. They're intent. Maybe they're still in shock. They're not crying. And I'm like.

So you're at this funeral. Imagine you're at a funeral. Are you horny? I beg your pardon? Well, I've not been horny at a funeral. I'm experiencing every emotion under the sun. Because. I'm happy.

I'm reliving that. Oh, my God. What a celebration of their life. What a wonderful person. We all knew. I'm sad. We've lost the great person. You're not at all. I'm happy I'm reliving that. Oh my God, what a celebration of their life. What a wonderful person. We all knew. I'm sad we've lost the great person. You're not at all. I'm angry.

Why were they taken? I'm not horny. Well, one in eight men, according to a Trojan, they make condoms. A Trojan study says one in eight men are taking condoms to a funeral just in case. Also, Trojan was a terrible name for a condom. The Trojan horse was where some stuff was inside a big thing

and then when it got inside, it snuck out. Yeah, we don't want that. A Trojan, even if something is inside the... Yeah, I know, but it sneaks out when it gets inside. No, it sneaks out later. Well, technically, it should be tied off and binned. If that had happened with the Trojan horse, they would have been stuck on the horse

and they would have died of starvation. But once they were in the city of Troy, was it Troy they got into? Yeah, they did. They got out. And then Brad Pitt was there. God, he's hot in that movie. Yeah, with his shirt on.

Orlando Bloom looked like a little bear. Peak Brad Pitt, wasn't it? Was it peak Brad Pitt? I think Brad Pitt's peaking right now. He's continuing to peak. He's just always peaked. Well, yeah, so apparently it's just in case. They spoke to 2,000 adults between the ages of 18 to 35.

Also found that 65% of respondents brought protection to a first date. God. Remember when you used to keep a condom in your wallet? No. Oh, no. Because I remember being told in science it wasn't good. It was a bad place to keep latex. Because of the heat. And if you sat on it and moved it around and it was getting too much rubber around in the pack,

it could be weakened. Ripped. And then you'd make babies because it wouldn't be working. Well, then you'd have a real Trojan horse on your head. Yikes. But apparently they did accompany this study with a link to a research that grief does make us horny. Good Lord. I need to know more about grief making you horny. I suppose you're vulnerable, like open and vulnerable.

I mean, it's not happening at the funeral, but afterwards it could lead to you meeting someone and then you are related to them. Go to the soiree. you... I'm related to them. Go to the soiree. Yeah, I know most of them. If I'm at a grandparent's funeral, I seem to... Most of those people are weirdly related to you. You have some person come up, Hello, I'm your dad's cousin. You're like, are you?

I'm not going to sleep with you, though. And they're like, what? I didn't even ask. You're like, oh, nah. I just heard the study. There's the study. Apparently we're all a bit horned up. Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. As I said before, my 11-year-old went to the doctor yesterday. They did not give her antibiotics. That's my mark of a good doctor. Agreed. Well, antibiotics don't fix the flu, do they? They don't fix viruses. No.

And this had all the hallmarks of a virus. It's just lingered for a little bit. We're not one of those people that rushes to the doctor every time the kid's got sniffles. Right. No. Kids get sniffles all the time. You freak out. You're a little bit. We're not one of those people that rushes to the doctor every time the kid's got sniffles. Right. No, kids get sniffles all the time. You freak out. You're a new parent. You freak out.

Doctor, doctor, help me. No, this child just has a runny nose. Will it live? So this has been persisting for a little bit. So I just thought it best to pop to the doctor. And the doctor asked a series of questions. Doctor, doctor. Doctor, doctor.

Doctor, doctor. Anyone, doctor. Doctor, doctor. Anyone, please? Doctor. So, first question. What liquid do you drink the most of? Oh, my God. Boy, it'd be water for me. At that age, it would have been juice for me.

It would have been R.O., baby. Did you have to think for a moment, Hayley, if Prosecco could beat water? I'm not at the age of 11, but nowadays it's on par. Yeah. So water was the answer. The doctor said that's good. Yeah.

Have lots of fluid to get better. Oh, but how sad. Some kids would probably say like fizzy. Yeah. Sodies. Yeah. True, which is right, maybe why they asked. The second question was, and apparently they ask all teenagers this now,

and she's entering those sorts of teen years, how long do you spend on social media every day? Interesting. Confronting. I know, very confronting. And what did she say? She said, I'm not sure. And she said, so you are on forms of social media.

And she included YouTube because she said YouTube's got more, like, wealth and privilege than any other social media. Like, YouTube's like, I'm giving away a Tesla. I'm a 19-year-old piece of shit. Yeah, totally. And all, like, insane Living houses with like flash In flash areas They live in mansions when they're 19

And she said it's like It's unhealthy for your brain to think That that's the average 19 year old So she included YouTube She like TikToks All the other ones Instagram, Facebook Of which the girls don't have

But they watch heaps of YouTube And they watch TikTok Well that's social media. Yeah. And I'm just like, holy moly. And she's like, yeah, two hours absolute maximum a day. But even

that's a lot. That's a lot. For a young person, it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. But we're constantly saying to our kids, like, you know how wildly unrealistic that is? Like, when they're watching people give away things or do things or set We're constantly saying to our kids, like, you know how wildly unrealistic that is? Yeah, right. Like, when they're watching people give away things or do things or set up elaborate expensive pranks and not seem to have any care or responsibility. Yeah.

Because the amount of YouTubers that want to be that successful, you don't see them. Oh, no, yeah. You know, like, the ones that fail. You see the cream at the top of the... Yeah. The cream of the crop. You don't see the draggy, lumpy, milky bits at the bottom that are left over when the milk's gone.

I was going to say, are you glad that you didn't grow up with social media? But then we've all like... We all had something that freaked our parents out at the time that we were doing too much of. But nothing has been like social media. We were at the precipice of violent video games. Yeah, Grand Theft Auto. Yeah, because video games had always

been like Pac-Man or side-scrolling platforms, and then there was Street Fighter, and then it got a little more realistic looking, and then there was the freaky things like was Columbine the shooting, not the stockings.

The Columbine shooting, video games wore a fair brunt of that. Not America's like absolute gun problem. And then like music, Marilyn Manson, Eminem and all that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was maybe what like video games were the things that we could have spent too much time. None of that did anything to your like brain,

did it really? It didn't hurt your attention span. It didn't. I don't know. Some could argue. Some could argue. Some could argue. But also,

that was the age when nobody knew why little Stevie couldn't concentrate in class but could build Lego in two seconds. Like, there wasn't,

you know, the array of neurodivergent, you know, recognition. But should they be asking adults this as well? I,

because that's why when Indy got home and she said, oh, she asked me how much time I spent on social media. I was like, you know, recognition. But should they be asking adults this as well? Because that's why when Indy got home and she said, oh, she asked me how much time I spend on social media. I was like, that's fascinating. And then later in the day I said, how much time have you spent on social media? She's like, how much time have you spent on social media? Oh, there it is.

Yeah. The other day though. I said, my brain's already rotted, my darling, through social media and various other things. I was confronted the other day because we were filming, but I was also watching my Miami Heat NBA team play the finals. And so we had to pause it. And when I came back to pick up the game,

I kept picking up my phone and just opening Instagram. Without even thinking about it. And then I was like, oh, my God, because I didn't want to see the score. And I follow a lot of basketball. And it was just that thing. And then I'd be like, okay, watch the game. And I'd be like, do it with my phone, was like, oh my God, because I didn't want to see the score and I follow a lot of basketball and it was just that thing and then I'd be like, okay, watch the game and I'd be like, do it, open my phone,

Instagram, oh my God. Like you just do it mindlessly, you know? Yeah. Someone said you take them off your front page so then you find yourself scrolling to find them

and you'll stop doing it. I don't know if you will, you just scroll. You just scroll, you just keep scrolling. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Hello there. Hi there. Hi there.

Hello there. Boutique Dairy Company Green Valley Dairies from its Mangatafari factory in North Waikato are going to get 18 litre milk kegs. Now, this will apparently reduce an estimated 10,000 per cafe waste of plastic milk bottles.

Because you do see the cafes, some of them, like the popular ones, go through to it. And you see them, because they give the bottles back, some of them recycle them? Well, you can recycle. Yeah. Well, if it comes in glass, you can, but that's a very expensive way to get your milk. So obviously for businesses to get it the most cost-efficient way, probably bulk ordering two litres is about the best it gets. Man, they go through it.

Yeah, a keg, an 18-litre milk keg made by a Tasmanian company. Wow. And it fits in like a fridge shelf. Wow. Okay. It makes so much sense. Why hasn't this been done sooner? Great idea.

I don't know. Great idea. Yeah. Great idea. So I thought, why stop there? Top six other things that could come in a keg. Yes. Number six on the list

hot sauce it always comes in the small bottles always tiny bottles always tiny Tabasco bottles yes you go through those

so quick yeah those bottles are tiny they're like shots I think it was at Costco or America you can get massive ones I got a big

I got a big one at Costco but I like the green one because I'm a bit of a puss, eh? Green. Oh, the green official Tabasco one with the round label on the square sticker. It's not as hot. Yeah, okay. I don't do the red one.

Puss. Number five on the list of the top six things to come in a keg. Chocolate sauce. Yum. That stuff that goes hard when it hits the ice cream too. Yes. Choc-whiz? Choc-whiz or whatever it was. Don't put that in the fridge. It'll never come out of the keg. God, imagine just when you've run out, it stops pumping, the keg,

and you open it up, you just get a spatula. Get it in there. Number four on the list of the top six things to come in a keg, whiskey. I just find I get through a litre bottle of Jameson's too quick nowadays. Too quick, yeah. Too quick. A keg of whiskey. Good lord.

I don't think, I thought your drinking was going good this week. It is. No weekday drinking. No weekday drinking. I know, I know. Don't make that face.

Tonight though, where do you find your I am going to have a beer tonight. We've got a work event. Yeah, I have a couple of beers. Because I've got to drive. A couple of beers. A couple of beers early and then do this thing where you'll just turn around, I'll be gone.

Number three on the list of the top six things to come in a keg, shampoo and conditioner. What, you mean all-in-one head and shoulders? All-in-one, two-in-one. I'm a big, you know, I'm a big, I'm a huge two-in-one head and shoulders charcoal guy for the beard. There's no point buying two different things. And I find that the head and shoulders gets rid of the beardruff as well. Head and shoulders. Really? Charcoal guy for the beard. There's no point buying two different things. And I find the head and shoulders gets rid of the beardruff as well. Head and shoulders is great. It's a great shampoo.

This is non-spawn, but that's a good shampoo. Yeah. I can't relate. That's the shampers of the shampoo. Yeah, that's a shampoo. Unless that's got to be from the champagne region of France. Otherwise, it's just poo, poo. Yeah, that's right.

In France, it's simply poo. Number two Yeah, that's right. It's simply poo. Number two on the list of the top six things in a keg, soft drink. Why don't we have soft drinks? I mean, they go flat, but I know I'm in the rear one. I prefer a flatter soft drink. When you first open a bottle, it's why I don't like drinking out of 600ml bottles.

They don't go flat before you finish them. But a big one, you open it and you just leave it open. You're weird. Leave the lid loosely on and it flattens itself out a little bit. I love an icy cold. No. Like icy cold full fizz Coke Zero. Icy cold half fizz.

No. Half fizz. The fizz is too much fizz. That's what they should bring out. Half fizz. So there's like Coke, Coke Zero, Coke Zero half fizz. That's the good thing about the soda stream is you can, you just do one. You do your own.

Yes. But you could just shake it, like shake it for a little bit, let it settle. Yeah. Burp it. We should do this as a silly little poll. What's better? A freshly opened soft drink bottle full fizz or half fizz? Do you think people will know what half fizz is?

Well, like half flat. Half flat. You'd say half flat. No, because flat's got a negative connotation to it. People are going to poo poo it because they don't like flat. No, but you would vote for that.

Yeah, because I know what it means, but I'm just, people will be freaked out that it sounds too flat when you say half fizz. Yeah. I'm a glass half full guy.

It doesn't come half fizz. You've got to make it flat. They should make it half fizz. You've got to say flat. It's half flat. No, but then your half fizz. Yeah. I'm a glass half full guy. It doesn't come half fizz. You've got to make it flat. They should make it half fizz. You've got to say flat. It's half flat. No, but then your half fizz will then go no fizz. You've got to buy full fizz and DIY half fizz. Because if you buy half fizz, then it's going to go flatter and then be zero fizz.

Full fizz is too fizzy. Up the nose. And when you pour it into a glass with ice or whatever, it always like too much bubble. It's a part pour thing I don't think you deserve fizz to be honest follow the lead major soda companies

and number one on the list of the top six things that should come in a keg ice coffee you get to the end of your iced coffee and you're like that wasn't enough ice coffee

what did I say what number did you say yeah that's number one no you didn't use my idea of icing in a keg yeah but I told you use my idea of icing in a keg. Yeah, but I told you that icing won't flow from a keg. You heard that idea in the pre-show meeting.

That's like a Sunday machine. No, that's like a Sunday machine. And when you come in a keg, you need a motorized thing to go... But imagine... All that in the thing to push out the icing. Imagine in the pantry, you open the door, you're a little bit peckish. The pantry, you're not eating warm ice. Yes, and you're just like, little from the keg of icing.

On a cookie. On your cookie or hand. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cookie or hand. Yum. Cookie or hand. Yum. Yeah, no, I just want to come out of the keg.

It's an engineering nightmare. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, I've never been pregnant. And for that, I am truly grateful. Are you eating? No. What are you eating? You said stop eating and I panicked and I put the crust in my mouth.

Oh, my God. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. What were you having? Honey toast. Honey toast. Honey toast.

You've nearly nailed this radio thing. Nearly. I'm getting better. You're getting better. I'm getting better. Now, look, I know that because I actually asked you this yesterday for some reason, it popped into my head, Vaughn. Like when you found out you were having, you were with child,

did you find out the gender of your girls? We definitely didn't with Indy, our oldest. That was a surprise. We were doing the We're first time parents and we'll just be happy with what we get. And then the second one. I don't remember the second one. I gave the first one a name. August is her name.

I don't know. I thought we didn't because the name August, we were just like, we're going to use it regardless. Yeah. A guy called August. Yeah. Well, the original August was Augustus Caesar.

No, the original August was a month on the calendar. Named after Augustus Caesar. Augustus Glob. Okay, no, Augustus Glob. It was named after Augustus Caesar. From Willy Wonka. So, yeah, we were just kind of going to use it regardless. Right.

Yeah, right. Oh, it's interesting because they're a big deal these days, aren't they? The gender reveal. Oh, yeah. I mean, people have set forests on fire and there have been serious injuries from explosions. Sort of a waste of time in gender as a societal construct. So these days they seem more and more redundant. But anyway, people still like to celebrate the gender of a child.

Except for one mum, their video went viral of her. She's at a massive party. They've got pink and blue decorations because that means girl and boy. Just in case you missed that. And she's got like signs and plates. And then the video starts just after it's been revealed that she... Excuse me, it's my toast. It's the honey toast.

This is why we don't eat before we go on the... No, it's because you made me eat far. This is what someone with digestive issues like when they live on 90% carbs because she's going to go and eat cakes and biscuits. The great Gaby Bake Off. Anyway, so it's just the video starts the moment after it's been revealed. She is pregnant with a baby girl. But she already has two baby girls.

Oh, yeah. She flips. She tears the party apart. She kicks things over. She rips down the curtain. That's like the big gender reveal thing. She rips off the sash that says mum-to-be and she like storms off and everyone's like, oh

oh no, don't be like that. I'm sorry, but if that was going to be your reaction, don't have a gender reveal party. I know, it was only going to be if it was a boy. Also, that drives me nuts that people would get pregnant trying for a third

with that in mind when people struggle so much to get pregnant full stop. Dude, you should see the comments, right? Everyone, like a few people are like, ha, ha, ha. And, you know, it's just the pregnancy hormones and other people are like, you are ungrateful. Yeah, totally. Anyway, but I think it's like,

because I know I had a friend who had girls and then got pregnant with a girl and she was a bit like disappointed, but not, you know, she was grateful to be pregnant and all that kind of stuff. And at the end, she's like, loves it now. It is so funny that when you see a family of six boys and you just know that that last boy, maybe the last three boys, they wanted a girl. Yes. You just know that that last boy, maybe the last three boys, they wanted a girl. Yes.

You just know, right? Aaron's family went boy, boy, boy. One more time, girl. Got it. It was perfect. And then there's his little brother who was like, whoopsie doopsie doo. Added another one. But I thought maybe that's what we could take some calls for today, is were you not quite what your parents were expecting?

Maybe you were a little bonus one at the end of a run, like Aaron's brother. Sorry, Andrew. Well, because he'd know, right? It would be no secret if the age gap between you and your siblings is like 10 years. It's always the age gap. Maybe you were the last in a long line of penis owners in your parents' enduring search

for a girl to join the family. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And you were like, they just sort of gave up after you because you didn't tick the boxes. Or yeah, do you know that you were, yeah, not quite what the doctor wanted you to be. This is ruthless. But I guess parents would tell you, right?

Some parents have a sense of humour like that, don't they? Yeah. I think me and my brother both know we were surprises, but welcome surprises. Well, that's what they said after, isn't it? Welcome. Yeah, well, they were heathens. They weren't even wed, my parents.

Really? So you're a bastard child. I'm a bastard child. Wow. Explains why you eat toast at inappropriate moments. It does explain it. I was raised wrong. Yeah.

I was simply raised wrong. Okay, so you want to hear this morning, you want to hear now from people, 0800 DARZATM. You can text 9696. I'm not going to phrase it, were you a mistake or were you not wanted? Because, you know, every kid is a blessing.

But were you not quite what your parents wanted? Because, you know, every kid is a blessing. But were you not quite what your parents wanted? And do you know it? Like, are you the youngest child in the family of like, and there's a huge age gap. Yeah, there's like, all your siblings are 10 years older than you. And then you just went, hey, another one.

Oh, 800,000. Let's open up the phone lines. Give us a call. I want to know if you were a mistake. Let's go to the phone line. No, there was a woman just discovered there's a video of her at a gender reveal party. And it's revealed that she's expecting another daughter. And she flips her lid and she she hates it, and she storms off.

And so I want to know, were you not quite what your parents were expecting? We've had so many messages in. So many calls. Yeah. Nuts. For example, how about this situation? My parents were together from when they were 14 through to 18. They had me, young, split up completely, moved countries. This situation. My parents were together from when they were 14 through to 18. Yeah.

They had me, young, split up completely, moved countries. Then when I was 16, they rekindled and had three more children. So there is a 15-year age gap between myself and my next oldest sibling. I'm 32. They're 17, 15, and 12. Oh, my God. But what a love story for their parents. For the parents. Like rekindling. Oh, my God. That what a love story for their parents. For the parents. Like rekindling.

Yeah. Oh, my God. That is so cute. Yeah. I love that little teenage romance. And then they grow up and become adults. And they're like, it's still you. Nick, good morning.

Are you not what your parents wanted? Certainly not. I'm the fourth one. And I was the mistake. They were done and ready after three. You put on a hell of a handbrake, though, Nick. I just heard you, Abs. I'm getting to work.

No, I just heard you rip that thing out. I know, yeah, it was real powerful. Really quite powerful. To be honest, you're very masculine. I can't quite trust the brakes these days. No, you're a good man. Never trust the brakes. I'm on a flat as well.

And so what, they kind of moved on from having kids? They did kind of move on, yeah. They were done at three and mum sold all the prams and the cots. She had a little market outside her house in Rimuera. And it was the day after, I think, actually,

that she found out that she was pregnant with the fourth me. And so she actually went back to the people that she sold the stuff to. And so I tried to get back as much as possible. Oh, my gosh. She can't do that, can she? That's a fair sale. Yeah, that's when you know they thought it was over. They've sold and got rid of all the baby gear and then they have to get a second one.

And then did they remind you of that fact from time to time, Nick? Just like, you know. All the time. All the time. I'm the mistake child. I think that's why I get away with so much. Oh my God,

if you were a little brat, I'd always be to my child and be like, God, you weren't even supposed to be here, you little brat. Brilliant.

But Alma always said that I'm the miracle child. I'm the best mistake that the family's ever had. Oh, yeah. That's sweet. That's sweet. Nick, a family's ever had. Oh, that's sweet. That's sweet. Nick, thank you for your call.

Abby, your husband? Good morning. Good morning. So he, not only, so he's a third, so there's two older boys than him. Yeah. They weren't really trying to have another baby. He is seven years younger than his next brother.

Oh, wow. That's a big gap. Yep, yep. And then he came along and, of course, he was a boy. So after two boys, so his name is Bo for bonus. That's brilliant. That's brilliant. Yeah, they then thought, oh, we better give him a friend.

So they had one more and had a girl. Oh, wow. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. So he's free of the living with Bo for bonus. They're like, no, no a girl. Oh, wow. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. So he's free of the living with both of them. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's have one more. Oh, we'll have another one because he needs a friend.

Yeah, that's like buy a van territory. A minivan, isn't it? No, not minivan, proper van. A Mitsubishi sports pack. Abby, thank you for your call. Tina, this is your parents? Or you? It's myself.

I am a third-born girl. Yeah. And my parents made no secret of the fact that they desperately wanted a boy. And then eight, I popped. And, yeah, I was a girl. And they were so disappointed. Aw. You're a disappointment.

I'm sure. Did they remind you of this fact? Well, my dad did quite often. Not my mum so much, but my dad did. He was like, oh. But saying that, I always spent a lot of time with my dad anyway. So I never had a doll when I was growing up. I always had my head under an engine.

Yeah, yeah. He just made you into his dream son. Basically, yeah. And even now. Then I had two boys of my own who have grown up now. And I think I rebelled. And I'm known at work and my friends all know me for being the pink lady because everything I love pink.

Yeah, overcompensating. Overcompensating, yeah. But I've still got male traits too. Like I love driving fast cars. And recently I did the fast lap at Rua Puna racetrack. Oh, God, that sounds scary. No, oh, 205 kilometres an hour. Bring it on.

Jesus, Tina. You said it's Tina from Tunis? Yeah, I was going to say, Tina, you love cars. I'm Tina and I love cars. say, Tina, you love cars. I'm Tina, and I love cars. So good. Thank you, Tina. Let's go to Philippa just quickly.

You were the youngest of how many? I was the eighth child. Oh, yeah. I reckon from about five on, none of you were really. So you just, you just water slid

straight out of that thing. Whee! Yeah, so I'm like, oh, here we go, another one. Again. And then the next one after, you had to wait for the green light at the top. And so how many parents did your kids have? How many kids? So five boys, three girls.

Wow. Oh, you're the final one. Yeah, you're definitely a mistake. But that's nice that you're here. No, no, no. You're the one that they were like, perfect, the final one. Yeah, you're definitely a mistake. But that's nice that you're... No, no, no. You're the one that they were like, perfect, we can stop. Yeah, that's what I say to my parents. Perfect.

Yeah. Amazing, Philippa. Thank you. Some messages in. So many. My brother and his wife had two boys, tried for one more, hoping for a girl, got twin boys. Now they've got four boys under five. Four boys under five four boys under five

and then they're going to have four teenagers that eat a lot they're going to be going through four loaves of bread a day because when you're

a teenage boy you can eat a loaf of bread a day and milk life ruined life ruined this is the thing with multiples

it just hits you there's a text there saying I was an accidental blessing from a broken condom plot twist I'm a twin. Double blessing. Wow.

They were actively trying not to have you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, so many people. My friend whose parents desperately wanted a girl, he was the sixth boy. They gave up after. Oh.

Sixth boy. He was the sixth boy they gave up after. Oh. Bye. Sixth boy. Someone said, my sister was born 11 months after my brother. Do the maths on that one. That's a quick turnaround. Yes, a very quick turnaround. It's a quick turnaround. Because for a lot of the time,

when you're breastfeeding, you can't get pregnant for a while. Maybe they thought they were safe. Well, that's not foolproof, though. No. My mum fell pregnant with me after she did the deed with my dad on the first night they met. So it was completely unplanned. Yeah, right. They're still together 31 years later, though, so it was meant to be.

Oh, meant to be. You are the glue that binds. Or they just got bogged down in paperwork, really, didn't they? A lot of paperwork. A lot of paperwork and admin. Yeah. Great, tied them up on that one. My mother is one of 11.

First six in six years, but age difference between the youngest and the oldest is 24 years. Wow. So, I mean, Dutch Catholic. The minute you say the word Catholic, I mean, oh. Babies start slipping out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Father, the son, and the holy shit, baby. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I'm in that painful place where my parents have arrived in Italy and they're sending me photos like sipping wine and eating pasta on their balcony in the sunshine. Is it me or is every single person in Europe at the moment? On Instagram? Statistically impossible. Statistically, we're in New Zealand right now.

Yeah, I know. I look out the window and I see a few people at that cafe over the street. So I will just prove you're well. Stop living in a state of hyperbole or everything means nothing. Look at this though. There's a photo of my mum.

You can't say everybody's the best pop star in the world because that means nobody's the best pop star in the world. He's super blown that out of proportion, okay? But look at this, what I was thinking this morning. This is my father leaning over a bowl of tomatoey pasta on a balcony with a glass of red wine. Yes, Craig. A hoon in it.

Craig is hooning that spaghetti. Get that spaghetti, Craig. As he should, Daddy-O. He's worked. Yes, Craig. Oh, hooning it. Craig is hooning that spaghetti. Get that spaghetti, Craig. As he should, Daddy-O. He's worked. He earned that. And my mum's, the little picture on it says, living la dolce vita. Wow.

She put the Italian spin on the Spanish phrase. Is that what Italians have on the wall? Like, you know, like white people in New Zealand have live, laugh, laugh. I believe it is leave a laugh for love. Leave a laugh for love. Okay. Anyway, I'm jealous about overseas travel at the moment because I can't do it because my mortgage.

But there is a new hack. I don't know if it's a new hack, but they've given it a name. It's called skip lagging. Okay. Skip lagging. Otherwise, there's other names for it, hidden city or throwaway ticketing. So it's basically the idea that if you were going to go, say I wanted to go to Munich. Yes.

Yes, that's lovely. I've been to Munich. It's beautiful. Beautiful city. Say I wanted to go to Munich in Germany. Yep. And I wanted to go to Munich in Germany. Yep. And I booked a flight. I tried to get flights from New Zealand to Munich.

Yes. And they were this price, right? They were really expensive. Yep. What a skip lagging is, is going fly somewhere where Munich is your layover or your stopover but you're going to go carry on there to say whatever, Switzerland, and for some

reason the ticket is cheaper than if you were just flying New Zealand to Munich. I've done this. Have you? I've done this very thing. Surprise, surprise. If you go to Munich, you get out. Skip lagging only works if you have carry-on baggage. Yes, because your bag will just go all the way through.

Otherwise, your bag will go all the way through. But a lot of time in Europe and America, you can get way cheaper airfares if there are extra stops. Yeah. And I've done this one thing, but you have to be careful. Some airlines have prosecuted or banned customers. This is the thing. That skip lag.

Airlines are sick of it because when you check in for your full flight, you check in most of the time, right? You're checking in straight from New Zealand to Switzerland, the whole way you're checked in. And then when you get out at Munich in Switzerland, you know, they're then calling you at the Munich airport saying like, Carl Fletcher, you know, all this kind of stuff, like, where are you?

Where the hell are you? So I think when I did it, it was like, I wanted to go from, I think, Budapest to Germany or wherever and it was the day after the Zagat Music Festival so it was like quite expensive and it was like $600 for like a two-hour flight and I was like, well, that's impossible. And then I looked at what other cities I could go to in Europe.

And for some reason, it went through the city I wanted to go to. And it was like $200. And I was like, well, I'm just going to do that. And get out. And you can also do that with return fares as well. It might be cheaper to go return and then book a date like way in the future. I mean, you'd have to look into it and look like where you are,

like did you need a visa to get in there? If you're going to stay for a long time, you know, are you actually allowed to leave the airport? But yeah, there was an instance when Lufthansa, which is a European airline, they tried to sue a passenger who skip lagged and they paid 600 pounds for flights and then didn't get on their final leg and then the airline said if they were going to get out there they should have paid about

2 000 pounds but they did this little hack yeah and the court actually ruled in the passenger's favor wow it's cheeky isn't it it is very cheeky but people on tiktok are sharing it yeah it's not really something that we can do in new zealand because we don't it? It is very cheeky but people on TikTok are sharing it. Yeah, it's not really something that we can do in New Zealand because we're not big enough. It's only really in big continents like America or Europe where there are so many connecting flights. Yeah, 100%. But only if you've

got check-in. Yeah, and only if you're ready to be a bit cheeky because airlines are just like, stop it. We know what you're doing. But then they should stop it. Yeah, yeah, stop charging so much. They're all earning like so much money now and they haven't put their flights back down.

I know. Fill up your plane. Be grateful for what you've got. Stop it. And give me three Singapore slings and... And keep them coming. No, because the last time you had Singapore slings and a sleeping pill,

you couldn't remember getting home from the airport. Best flight ever. Oh, my God. Best flight ever. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, this happened yesterday. I'm just going to pop a screen cap in the group chat. Ooh.

Now, this works when it's online and when there's photo evidence that you've done something wrong. Okay, right. One moment, caller. For example, yesterday I got sent a picture of some jeans that I chucked on the floor where I would imagine a washing basket would look quite nice in our room. Oh, you're not allowed a washing basket.

But it doesn't fit the aesthetic. Yeah, and then it gets stinky. So I just put it all there. That's my washing basket. Also, it's three extra steps fit the aesthetic. Yeah, and then it gets stinky. So I just put it all there. That's my washing basket. Also, it's three extra steps to the laundry. It's a bit more than that, and the laundry wing's quite a way. Really? The help doesn't start.

It is a cute laundry. Could you take the golf cart? I could take the golf cart, but that's noisy at that time of the day. Yeah, okay. But I just kicked them there, and there's a photo of the crumpled pair of jeans. See, it is the laundry basket. This is your wife sending you a message of the crumpled pair of jeans. So is this the laundry basket? This is your wife sending you a message of the jeans. Yes.

I love that approach. I'm sorry, is this the laundry basket? This is the sort of passive stuff. You know, there's that old thing, if you want something done, you just, the best approach is, no, no, no, is to just ask someone to do it. Yep.

For example, you might be like, could you please take the rubbish out could you take this but i'm just doing something would you be able to grab this rubbish and take it to the bin yeah not be like oh i'm i'm doing all the work no no you don't say that you might say something like a random phrase to the universe like well this rubbish bin's full oh yeah don't do that just say can you because i'll ignore that. That's just a statement. That's not a request. Oh, I'll do requests, but I don't just answer statements.

So is this a laundry basket? I clicked on the photo. This was through Facebook Messenger. Clicked on the photo, then clicked on markup up in the top corner. And I drew a laundry basket around the jeans. Quite well as well, by the way. Well, the trick is... The dimensions. I'm terrible at drawing.

Yeah. But the trick is really loaded up with detail. I kept changing between all the different browns. Oh, because we had a disagreement the day before. I turned up and there was a new hallway runner at home. What's a hallway runner? Like a long, thin rug. Why do you need one of those?

It's carpet. No, no, it's on the hardwood part of the hallway. Right. Okay. Aesthetics. Aesthetics. Why do we need one? Great question.

We've lived without one for years and no one's ever been like, hmm, this hallway needs a runner. Okay. So I said, oh my God, it's another bloody woven rat hand thing. Because rat hand like wicker furniture's in again. Yeah. Which is horrible. I've been, I've been, wicker furniture. It's, I hate it.

It's terrible. I like it. It's uncomfortable. It's just, it's going to go out of fashion so quick, too. It's light and it's tacky and it's not hard wearing and it's not going to last too long. I imagine it goes up quick in a fire, too. Oh, my God. Yeah.

It's literally like kindling. So, I drew the best I could a rattan laundry basket and I said, yep, is this a laundry basket? I said, it certainly looks like a Sharks rattan special. So then I've reminded her that I've not completely forgotten that there's been an unnecessary purchase of a hallway runner.

Oh my god. What is wrong with you? That's not been forgotten. And I've also got to rag on Rattan, which is one of my favourite things to do. Yeah, rag on Rattan. Now, you haven't put in our group chat the following messages from her.

What did she say? Can we see the next one, please? That's a good question. I can't remember. Because in my mind, I won, but I do have a tendency to remember things incorrectly. There was no reply. Oh, wow.

Oh, you lost. No. There was no interaction. Oh, you lost. There was no interaction on the awesomely drawn rat hand. Now, when you got home, was there a frosty reception and were the jeans still on the floor? No, the jeans had been washed. They were hanging to dry. And... No, there was no

frosty reception, I don't believe. So you won, really. I think that's worse, though. It's worse that she washed them. Because now you've double lost. You put them on the floor and you didn't believe. So you won, really. I think that's worse, though. It's worse that she washed them. Because now you've double lost. You put them on the floor and you didn't even wash them yourself. I'd call that a double win. Yeah, that's a double win. I got to dump my clothes

at the most convenient place for me and they've magically been washed. I would call that a couple of dubs in the Smith book. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Every time we hear pink, I forget we're going to pink. Yeah, we've got tickets. Not Vaughn.

He doesn't go out. He doesn't go out. No. We've got a group. There's not a superhero or someone with sort of magical powers I'm not interested in. She does have magical powers. She flies. She literally flies from the ceiling.

I can see the ropes. Those need to be CGI'd out. Oh, my God. I want to talk about sleep. There has been a sleep study done of nearly 20,000 people. This is quite a big study, actually. 81% of those people had shared a bed with a partner at some point in their lives. Shame for the other 19%.

Never felt love. Never had the other 19%. Never felt love. Never had the warm embrace of a big man behind you. What if they want a big woman behind you? I haven't had the big embrace of a big man behind me. Oh, you should try. It's so good. I bet men run

quite hot. Women are warm on the caboose though. Cold feet though. Cold feet, hot caboose. That was a song once. Pop round and see Aaron while Hayley's away. Oh,

he gives the best. Get a big spoon on. Yeah. I'm worried his beard might get stuck to my shaved head though. Sort of a Valkyrie situation. Oh, yeah.

That would be a weird one. Hayley comes home and my head's stuck to Aaron's chin. Yeah, it would be weird. 27% of people... Why did you look so hot? That might have flustered you a little bit. Yeah. Hayley comes home and my head's stuck to Aaron's chin? Yeah, it would be weird. 27% of people... Why did you look so hot?

Did that look like it flustered you a little bit? Yeah. I thought of me stuck to your man. A little bit. I'm not mad at the image. I imagine you'd have a few questions when you walked in. Oh, no. I'd sort of be like, cool, guys.

Like, good for you. Explore some things. Over a quarter admitted to sleeping much better when they're alone. 8% of them had considered being in separate beds with their long-term partner. We've talked about that before. Yeah. 55% of people revealed their partner snores.

All of these things are destroying our sleep. The other 45% are the people that are snoring that can't hear themselves snoring. Yeah. Yeah, they're the snorers. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so, you you know sleep is so important

bloody do to do we know that's good for our health and good for our relationships because if we're grumpy we're not nice to be with and so uh a sleep expert has suggested that couples go to bed 90 minutes apart so you'd work out who you know like who needs to go to bed earlier or who's the lightest sleeper and 90 minutes is the amount of time it takes for you to drop into your deep sleep and so then when your partner comes to bed afterwards you're already asleep and then they slip in and then just um quietly won't disturb you do they turn the light on i'd have don't turn the light on this is the thing is like i'm always don't turn the light on. This is the thing. Don't turn the light on. Slip in. Alright.

Just on the other side of the bed. On the other side of the bed. Do it real sly. If you were the first person to go to bed, would you turn down the side of the bed and get the pillow sorted for them so that they don't need to fumble around with all that stuff? Absolutely.

But I sort of get annoyed because when I go to bed earlier, because Aaron's pretty good, like, he usually just comes to bed with me, but he'll stay awake, but he'll be in the bed. Yep. But if I go to bed earlier and he comes in afterwards, if he wakes me, I'm upset. Mama's not happy. Mama ain't happy because I hate being woke.

I find it so hard to get to sleep. So when I am asleep, if I get woken up, but he said it's the way, this way you reap all the benefits of intimacy of sharing a bed. You don't have to go into separate beds, but without the frustration. Don't you miss that intimacy of going to sleep, like having a cuddle?

Or do you just get that during the night anyway? Yeah, you sidle up for a little cuddle in the night. Aaron does it and then tells me. Right. Would you go to bed before Sade though, right? Nah. No. Either we go to bed at the same time or she might sneak to bed before me. She gets a lot of

sleep, that woman. Yeah, right. She's a ten hour sleeper. That's why she looks good. She's a ten hour sleeper. Sometimes she'd be a ten hour sleeper. Must be nice. Must be nice. She'd rock a ten hour. But then she also goes to bed and sits on her phone at full brightness. My trouble getting to sleep.

I wonder why. Probably there. Yeah, probably there. Play Zed-M. Let's vote on Ailey. Play Zed-M. I believe Taylor Swift is performing at the moment, touring the world.

Many shows. Many, many shows. Now, hold on a minute. Who's this? Now, she is a young up-and-coming artist. Well, good luck to her. It seems like it's raining at every one of her shows. Like, all the videos I see, she's...

But doesn't she make it rain? Does she have a rain machine? Doesn't she have a screen? No, no, no. It's just bad weather. It's just bad weather. Terrible. How has she not been electrocuted?

I would show us her if it was in Auckland, it rained heavily. I was like, we're about to see the electrocution of Taylor Swift. Because if I was a singer, I'd be like, oh, cancel it. What's the IP rating? What's the waterproof rating on these microphones?

Yeah, I'd do an Elton John. What about the pianos? She sits at the pianos and they've got the lids open and they're raining inside. I want to scream. The strings are going to go rusty. Anyway, there's something that's happening at these Taylor Swift concerts

and people are using a friendship bracelet thing. I'm going to defer to the Taylor Swift desk at the producer's booth to Carween. Producer Carween, what is this friendship bracelet thing all about? Okay, so in one of her songs, she mentions friendship bracelets. So fans have taken that on and at each concert, you take a bunch of friendship bracelets

that you've made and then trade them with other Swifties. And it's very cute, very wholesome. Like pogs. No, because you competed for pogs. Oh, you didn't trade, did you? It was a game of skill Yeah

I think it's something that actually like Originated in rave culture This happens lots at raves Right, okay It's been a while It's been a minute between raves Don't come in here telling us about raves, Gen Z We are raves

Do you know what a rave is? Yeah No, so people on the internet have taken this idea and instead of just making cute little tailor bracelets, they're making bracelets with their names and numbers to give out at the bars, at pride events, to hit on people. Oh, like an old school pick up, like a number exchange. Yeah.

Like a little number slip. Do you know what's funny is yesterday I was talking with my co-host, Pax Asadi, on the Great Kiwi Bake Off set about pickup lines. And his was that he used to go up to girls and be like, hey, I was just trying to think of something really funny and charming to say that would be a really great pickup line, but I couldn't think of anything. So I thought I'd come and talk to you anyway. And he said it always worked.

Really? The girls would be like, oh, my God, that's so cute and honest. Oh, Carwen's nodding her head. That would work on you? Yeah, he said it always worked. Really? The girls would be like, oh my God, that's so cute. Oh, Carwen's nodding her head. That would work on you? Yeah, absolutely. That's cute. Like, oh, look, I was trying to be charming,

but instead, hello, I've got nothing. How are you? I think you're cute. Vaughn's not finding that. Are you just like, put some effort in. But then you...

Yeah, but Pax Asadi's not really your type. But you'd also... Excuse me, Pax Asadi's very much in my wheelhouse. He's pretty close to your type.

I mean, the only thing something PaxX Society at this stage is his gender. Other than that, he's absolutely in my wheelhouse. Yeah. That beautiful, beautiful brown boy. But you'd screw your face up if it was a cheesy pickup line. You wouldn't like that. I hate pickup lines. Right.

Yeah, I was always just a flirter. I would just flirt but not use pickup lines. It's very old school though, isn't it? It's not a dating app. And it's talking to people. Or you don't really have to hand them a bracelet. You don't actually have to talk to them at all. They're not exchanging words.

Well, I don't know, but you could just slip the bracelet and be like, oh, this is for you. And then you'll look down and see it's got someone's number on it. I've done that before, but just with a piece of paper. But the bracelet thing's the next level. Have you had any liaisons that were without talking fletch?

You have been so mean to me today. Have you? Would you like to share with the group any liaisons? Five minutes ago, Vaughan called me a minger.

What? He said oh my gosh, there's a package in the mail room for me from who? The beauty collective. The beauty collective and I said they've obviously heard. And you said what about my pimple? I said no, the fact that you're a minger.

And he was just like that was easy. Pickens, that was low-hanging fruit. You're so mean. But you're not a minger. If we could just bounce back to this. I know you're trying to take it off conversation at hand, but would you have any stories to share perhaps about liaisons

that kicked off without any talking at all? There has been a no-talking liaison. There has been a no-talking liaison. Just the one. The power of the eyes. It has been. I will stab you with this pen. It's a blunt one too.

Okay, here's a great story. Producer Jared shared when we talked about this earlier. You tried to pick up somebody in the drive-thru. Yeah, I was at the show sponsor drive-thru and in my rear view window. Is this before you even knew that they were the show sponsor too? Yeah, I was at the show sponsor drive-thru and in my rear view window. Is this before you even knew that they were the show sponsor too? Yeah, yeah. That's so good. Long time fan. Long time fan. Great things

are brewing one cup at a time. Yes. Oh, good for you. That actually wasn't the tagline back then. Oh. I think it was na-na-na-na-na. I'm loving it. Yeah, something like that, yeah. And I noticed a bit of a cutie in the car behind me. What was she driving, brah?

It was something like a jazz. Oh, like you drive now? Yeah. It's a Vitz. Oh, you're wearing a Vitz. I apologize for calling your Vitz a jazz. That's all right. But you can see how I made that mistake.

I can see how you got there. Yeah, so when the drive-thru worker gave me my receipt, I wrote my name and number on it and handed it back to her and said, hey, could you just hand this to the car behind me? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wow. That is so ballsy.

Yeah. And did the lady at the drive-thru think you were a pest? I'm not sure. She cocked an eyebrow and was like, yeah, okay. Okay okay and then I got a text from the car behind me being like hey oh my god that's so funny sorry I have a boyfriend though nice to meet you oh yeah you think you'd be in trouble if the roles were reversed if a man text a hot girl back to say sorry he had a girlfriend. Like, you shouldn't text at all, though.

Really. I don't know. You're saying that when his girlfriend finds out that he even contacted this woman rather than just screwing up the receipt and throwing her in the bin. He's made contact. I see what she's saying there. But, yeah, my order took a lot longer than her order to complete. So we sat there, parked next to each other

for a while. Oh, right! So you couldn't actually just go through and park at number one or number two and we'll bring your order out to you

and you're sitting there not looking, just like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I love these stories in the days of dating apps.

The old school pickups. Same. Let's take some calls on this. Agreed. Because I just think it's so ballsy as you say it's so like forward-facing so oh 800 dials at m we want to take your calls now you can text through nine six nine six did you uh did a pickup tactic work on you or vice versa yeah and did you

have an old school pickup? Email. Oh my God, that was loud, wasn't it? Oh my God, is that someone trying to pick you up? Yeah, via email. Via email. Now that's old school. We're wanting to know the old school pickup techniques that worked either on you or from you, because people are taking from the Taylor Swift concert these friendship bracelets,

but they're putting their name and number on them and then handing them out to people they think are cute. So you still don't need to actually talk to someone. No, no, no. That generation's done with that. I thought we were finally going back to talking to people, but obviously not. But this is a good step because maybe they might ask you a question and start a conversation. Not in person.

You know they might. Oh my god. Did you see this text that just came in? My pick up line is to lick my finger, swipe it onto them somewhere and then say, now let's get you out of those wet clothes. No, this is what I did not want on the show this morning.

I didn't want creeps. That worked on me. That worked on me. We wanted romance. We didn't want creeps. Well, you two are both laughing in the producer's booth. That doesn't work. Only because it didn't happen to you.

Romance. Where are you swiping also? There's no part on the body you should be touching. Maybe just a shoulder. Don't touch me. Get your hands off me. That's a no from both of you. Oh, I'd be into. Maybe just a shoulder. Gross. Get your hands off me. That's a no from both of you. Oh, I'd be into it.

I've got low standards. I mean, she is dating a magician. I am loving the bullying this morning. It's so great. The bully circle is really great. A surprising amount of Shannon's story starts with, so this 50-year-old guy. And I'm always like, oh my God, what?

For context, I was a waitress. And there was a lot of customers who were like... It's not the context of which you deserve to be hit on that much. A 50-year-old guy offered me money once. What? She's a cutie. She's a cutie. That's why.

April, what old school pick-up worked on you? Hi. So this is about 20 years ago. I was working in a pharmacy and next to the pharmacy there was a car park. There was some construction going on. And I came back to

the car after work that evening and one of the construction workers had left his name in a little note under my windscreen wiper. Oh, yeah, that's cute. So, yeah, I contacted him and we ended up going out for quite a while. We ended up getting engaged. Oh, wow.

So when you picked the note off your windscreen, you had no idea who'd left it? No. No, so you didn't know what he looks like. That's a gamble, isn't it? It was. I mean, I had a fair idea because it was one of them that kept coming into the pharmacy.

Oh, yeah. You were like, nobody needs that many strepsils. How sore is that throat? Amazing. April, thanks. You called some messages in. I'm forklift certified. And they're like, what?

And they said it means I'll be able to pick you up. No. Oh, that's a no. Like, what? And they said it means they'll be able to pick you up. No. Oh. That's a no. But imagine, do you think he'd let me drive the forklift? No, because you're not certified. You need the license. Otherwise, if there's damage done to anything, it's not going to be real. Why are people so serious these days?

Why are people so serious with health and safety? It's Osh, baby. It's Osh. My mate used to hand out small laminated bios of him to girls on a night out with his number at the bottom. Oh, my God. Tinder before Tinder. Tinder before Tinder. I was going through a Macca's, show sponsor, and Bull's on my way down to Wellington,

and the guy serving me gave me a stale hot cross bun with his number written on the paper bag. Now, where did he get the hot cross bun from? Bizarre. Maybe his lunchbox. He might have had his own lunchbox I never thought about packing your own lunch To go and work at somewhere that sells food I just assumed you'd eat lunch there

Of course My dad said to my mum at a bar Hey blondie let me buy you a drink The rest is history of being married 40 years Oh my god Wow Blondie Someone stopped me on the street And asked me for my email address When I was out for dinner with friends married 40 years. Oh my god. Wow. You're a blondie.

Someone stopped me on the street and asked me for my email address when I was out for dinner with friends and then they emailed me and I was just like, this is so weird. Wait, I need the rest. Did they go on a date? I don't know. Just stopped them for the email address. But we are talking about ones that worked. Yeah, yeah, okay.

No, no, no. Not reading out pick up lines. I'm not reading out pick up lines, no. Not reading out pick-up lines. I'm not reading out pick-up lines. I'm not reading out pick-up lines. We just want the stories that worked. Yeah. Someone left me a note, inside my burger at McDonald's,

inside the actual burger between the patties, it said, you're hot, call me, and a number. Now, I would imagine that doesn't meet the rigorous standards the show sponsor has on burgers. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. You're going to be putting your number in the middle of the burger. No, absolutely not The show sponsor has on burgers Absolutely not Absolutely not You're going to be putting your number In the middle of the burger

Or something, you need it Someone could eat the number You'd eat the number And then you'll never know Yeah Until you poop it out And then it's very hard to read Yeah

Our courier driver left me his number Written on the bottom side of the package At my workplace for me Oh, okay That's cute Yeah Which is better Because usually they'll just, like, knock once, and if you're not home, leave your number and run away.

And say, like, you've got to come down the depot to pick it up, or they'll throw it from there. Yeah. And then you finally go on a date from them. You get to the restaurant, and there's just a card to call. Yeah. On the other seat. You were two minutes late.

No, double parked outside with the hazard lights on. But thank you for delivering all of our parcels. At the Bridge Par Wine Festival, this lovely young man approached me to tell me how ridiculous I looked in my hat. Guess who came home with me? That man. Negging. He negged.

He negged, yeah. He negged you, but he knew that you were the one for him. Yeah. Someone left a note on my wife's car when she was at the gym saying she was hot and wanted to take her out My wife got me to reply I text the neighbour saying hey mate thanks for the note I'll pass it on to my hot wife

They kind of put the fire out there Yeah That's a good move My flatmate brought a guy home from a uni party The week later I went on a date with him Because the next morning I got talking to him And he seemed like a nice guy Now we're two kids deep and engaged seven years later.

Wow. When you know, you know. Yeah. So, yeah, lots of people doing it the old-fashioned way. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Join us tomorrow, 8 o'clock. The Long Weekend Group Tute is back. It's King's birthday on Monday and it's all thanks to Foursquare. Whether you're

vacationing or staycationing this King's birthday, Foursquare has everything you need. We're really excited. The last couple have been pretty good. Long Weekend Group Tutes. No, the last one wasn't that great. The one before Easter was cracker. That was cracker. Absolutely cracker. And Zach, not

as cracker. Yeah. Yeah. Oh God, that first one, that was thrilling. And Zach, not as cracker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, they were there at first. Oh, that was thrilling. Well, join us tomorrow, 8 o'clock, with Horns at the Ready. Right now, time for... Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Today's Fact of the Day comes from Kaylee. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- me a fact of the day they're like check out this amazing fact of the day like done done it done it done it done it do you ever say that's not that great uh no i never say that's not that great i'll say um i've done it okay even though you haven't done it um yeah i lie um oh wow i'll be like oh okay thanks and i add it to my list yeah and then if they never hear it they

must someday be like maybe it wasn't that great a fact. Or they just think they missed it. Yeah. But Kaylee messaged me and she said, do you know, here's a fact of the day, she said you've seen crab sticks are not made of crab. And I was like, come on, Kaylee, get on board. We know that. I said, this has been a fact of the day.

I hope you haven't been eating crab sticks thinking you were eating delicious crab. What's it made of? Fish bits. It's all fish bits and they colour it. But I don't care at all. I love them. I love them.

You like the taste of it. You do love a crab stick. Piece of work. And she said, I just thought I would have remembered Fletch going off about that. But as you've just heard, he was happy to just push that to a side

and still eat crab sticks. He picks and chooses what he acknowledges. Yeah. So she said, here's a better one. Slime mould was used to create a layout of the subway, Tokyo subway station. They laid it out

and then 28 hours later it had reorganised itself into a more the most efficient way possible. And I said that's also been a fact of the day. Did you tell her to shut up at this point? No, because she just said... She kept coming. She wasn't...

She was one of those kids that you tell them they're going to be nothing. She gets knocked down, but she gets back up again. You're never going to get her down. You're never going to get her down, yeah. Yeah, she's got a tequila drink. She's got a vodka drink. She's got a soda drink.

She doesn't have a whiskey drink, does she? Yeah, she does. She has a whiskey drink at the end. She had a soda in the middle there, which is... Sings the songs that remind her of the best times. Sings the songs that remind her of the better times. Yeah. So she's all good.

And then she sings out to her husband. Danny boy. Oh, Danny boy. And tells him the whole story again of what's just happened. And then she said, I will find one. Okay, so I like... Oh, I like that. She's persistent.

She's trying. Yeah, and then we talked about Avatar The Last Airbender for a while, which is a cartoon that you guys will have zero to no interest in. Not Avatar The Blue People, the Smurfs that plug into their animals with their ponytails. No, I know what it is. Avatar The Last Airbender, not beautiful, a cartoon series. And then she said, found it.

Finally, she's found you a fact of the day. Here's a fact of the day. Did you know that there is a Papua New Guinean tribe that used to feast on human brains and developed resistance to degenerative brain disorders? I did not know that. And I said, tell me more. She's got you.

She said, if you haven't done this, I'll provide more info. But if you have, I'll stop now. I said, tell me more. Do continue. There is a tribe in Papua New Guinea they're known as the Four People. Yeah. And they used to be cannibals up until the 1950s.

Now, this isn't for everybody, but remember different strokes, different folks, different cultures, different takes on life. Yeah. Everybody does things a little bit differently. That's still eating people. So when the dead, when someone passes away, Different takes on life. Yeah. Everybody does things a little bit differently. That's still eating people. So when the dead, when someone passes away, they eat the body.

Goodness. That's eco-friendly. Now, on 19th, up to the 50s. No, no, no, way back in the day, they've kind of toned it right back down now. Okay. So the men would eat the flesh because it was the most nutritious part, and the men were the hunter, the gatherers. They needed to be strong. They needed to be fierce.

They needed to be warriors, and the women and children would often eat the brains. Just and the men were the hunt of the gatherers. They needed to be strong. They needed to be fierce. They needed to be warriors and the women and children would often eat the brains. Just have the bits left over, hon. I'd go straight for the arse if it was me. Not the hole. Quote, Vaughan Smith. The arse. Can we just snip that up, please, Jared?

Yeah. That'd be great. You know those things that play during the day? It's like, fledge forward and hayley and then it's like, I go straight for the ass. Straight for the ass for me. If you miss out, hear the podcast. If you need some context.

Yeah, that. And then they hear the context, I was hypothetically a cannibal, and they're grossed out a little bit. Yeah, it's not the best ad for the show, is it? They preferred it when it was sort of like a semi-homoerotic. But I just think it'd be the meatiest part. Yeah, okay. The glute, the legs. So they're eating the brains. So I just think it'd be the meatiest part. Yeah. Okay. The glute,

the legs. So they're eating the brains. So they eat the brains but then unfortunately that allows this like disease to spread called Kuru. K-U-R-U.

This is a The Kuru Club. A disease. Kind of. At the airport where you go. Yeah. I love the Kuru Club.

Yeah. Free wine. This club is a different club. It's got a very high mortality rate. Okay. right. But the people that survive were due to this genetic mutation. Right. And now they are immune to Kudu, this disease.

In this day and age. And it's been passed down because they've stopped eating the brains. Yeah. But the mutation happened and it's been passed down. And they've actually become immune to other diseases related to the priron protein, which is often related to degenerative brain diseases. Like Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, dementia, mad cow disease, what that's called when that jumps to humans, CJD.

And so they need to study these people. So they are. They are studying it. And they said they've run so they can replicate it in mice to be immune to that CJD disease, which is mad cow when it jumps to humans, I believe. They're immune to it. They can't catch it.

And they said with further investigation on how this has happened and what's different about that, they believe this tribe could be at the forefront of curing or preventing degenerative diseases in the brain. We're going to eat the people. She's done a good... Well, no, don't rush out and eat people. We don't need to go out and eat people.

They should know what you took from that. Let's leave it to the scientists. Although if you were going to, straight for the ass. Or the brain, it turns out. Well, a bit of brain. You might eat the brain. Have a nice little side of brain. Well, great fact of the day.

So today's fact of the day from Kaylee is that there is a Papua New Guinean tribe that used to be cannibals that caused a genetic mutation and now they're immune to some brain diseases. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM's. While on the way home yesterday, my wife messages me and she says, would you be able to pick up Indy up some sushi?

Indy's been sick for a while. Yeah. And she feels like, she hasn't been like feeling like eating most of the soups and stuff. Oh yeah. But she felt like eating yesterday. Would you be able to pick her up some sushi? I said, what kind of sushi? She said, katsu chicken.

That's the coated, like a schnitzel set. So do you mean the rice and then the katsu on the rice? Great question. That was my next question. Oh, or do you mean rolled katsu chicken sushi or do you mean a bit of rice with katsu chicken on top? Yeah. It's just chicken in the middle of the sushi, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. And she said the rolls of sushi. Oh. So. That's not katsu. I just thought it was. Oh, you know, some of it is.

Most of it's teriyaki though, isn't it? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Very correct. But the katsu can be put into the roll. Amazing how they finger all the meat into the middle of the sushi. How do they do that so perfectly? What do you mean?

Well, they obviously cut it up and there's a hole in the middle. And then they somehow managed to cut the perfect size chicken to fit in the hole that was made. How do they get the square bits of chicken? I don't know, man. It's amazing.

It's amazing. It amazes me. Yeah, how they cut a ribbon of seaweed and managed to wrap it around the perfect cake of rice. I guess't know, man. It's amazing. It's amazing. It amazes me. Yeah, how they cut a ribbon of seaweed and managed to wrap it around the perfect cake of rice. I guess we'll never know. That's one of Japan's secrets. Yes, we'll never know. So I go into the sushi store and I go to pick up the katsu chicken.

Yeah. And I look and I said, this can't be right. Six pieces of chicken for $11.50? Oh, no. Hang on. I've got a calculator on my phone. Are you about to work out how much it is per piece? Yes.

Do you know? Well, it's just under $2 a piece. No, but I want to know exactly, Vaughn. So how much was it in total? Eight. No, how much was it? It was $11.50. $11.

I'll put a two in. Hang on. I'll clear that. $11.50 divided by six equals... Free ginger. Yeah, but that's free. $1.91666667. Continuously.

So $1.92 per piece. That's insanity! For your entry-level piece of sushi. I looked and I scrolled across the thing because if there was one that was significantly cheaper, she was just going to get that. Right. I was going to care. I'd get home and I'd lie.

I'd be like, there's no cuts of chicken. $1.91. It's like when I buy the dogs the cheap dog roll. I get home and they're like, oh, they don't like this. I'm like, they'll eat it. They're dumb dogs. They'll eat it. And who cares?

And it was cheaper. Yeah. $1.91. Because I mean, this is just inflation and the cost of living now. I mean, your sushi, your basic sushi would always be $1 or $1.10. $1.91 per... Because I... I mean, this is just inflation and the cost of living now. I mean, your sushi, your basic sushi would always be $1 or $1.10. $1.20 maybe. That's if you're picking it from the cabinet. Yes.

But if you're buying... This was pre-packaged. Right. Well, you should have got the sushi of the day. Lewis, no, this was not a sushi. This was not a St. Pierre's, sir. This was not a St. Pierre's. We do not have a St. Pierre's.

Okay, well, that's your problem. You should have gone... I was just going to believe the price of sushi. That's insane. And do your kids get this all the time? They often get sushi. I get home and I say, do you have any idea how much the sushi costs?

I mean, because there was... I like my children to feel guilty every time they eat. There was not the prevalence... There was not the prevalence of sushi stores when we were growing up. But, like, I don't think I had sushi until I was, like, I don't know, 18 or 19 or 20. 20? Like, imagine being, like, nine.

Growing up, I just wanted the biggest thing there was. And sushi never looked like enough. No. So I would never have opted for sushi. Wild. Yeah. But it's... And so what, this is new?

Because you never buy sushi. I never buy sushi. When you get sushi all the time after work, and I'll come for a walk, and I'll get one of those little packets of seaweed. Yeah. And that fun, and the main thing I like about it is when you crunch it and your teeth,

it sounds like it's popping. I'll fill up a thing, and it's probably about the same, $1.50, $1, yeah. I always get the bouge ones. The ones with stuff on top of the sushi is always more expensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're the nicer ones. And you're just paying a fortune for a garnish expensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're the nicer ones.

And you're just paying a fortune for a garnish there. Yeah. No, but sometimes the garnish is... I was literally a taken albayac. Right. How often are these children eating sushi, I say? And then I say, we should be making our own sushi. Well, no, but you can make...

Surely you can make your own sushi cheaper than that. No, because it's hard to finger in the meat into the middle. Oh, true. And we're not Japanese. You're not Japanese. Japanese, Chinese, Nepalese, Indian, Portuguese. You should see this woman's ancestry.com. Yeah, but there's no Japanese in there. It's like someone just sort of throwing things at the map.

Bit of that, bit of that. But you've seen her. What a look. What a look. What a gorgeous woman. Are you making up for the fact that you went off at her about how much sushi you cost her? A little bit, yeah.

But every now and then I will be about to pop off and then I'll look at her and I'll be like, look at this beautiful international smorgasbord of a woman that I'm lucky enough to have in my life. Yeah, so you drop the whole... Yeah. I drop it quick. Yeah. But $11.50? No, I won't be dropping that.

So are the kids now banned from eating sushi? Well, I'm certainly not going to be buying sushi. And if I find any of those little plastic soy sauce fish hidden in the bin, I know there's been sushi. Well, we have a big Swanky function Tonight For work Cocktail Dress So

Suits Black suits Bow ties Ties Black tie It's a black tie event Eh Eh

And you didn't get Your suit Dry cleaned in time From the muddy wedding We just went to No So I'm wearing that

You're gonna pack a sock Later today I'm wearing that. You're going to pack a sock later today. I'm not going to pack a sock. You always pack a sock. I will be happy as Larry. I wasn't going to wear that one anyway. That's far too formal. This is a weekday. I'm not getting dressed up for a weekday.

It's my rules. Do you want me to dress up, mate? It's a weekend. Try to change who I am. Try to change my very being. Well, yesterday I got my black suit out because I was like, well, I need to see if I am Try to change my very being Well yesterday I got my black suit out Because I was like Well I need to see if I fit this suit

Because you know I've got three different suits At different sizes Yep Because I'm famously a yo-yo-er Oh you are A yo-yo-er And I put on the black suit And the pants first

I put on the pants Success Fit Perfectly snug. Snug nice. Oh. With room to tuck the T-shirt in, you know, because normally there's not, you have to put the T-shirt in.

The T-shirt or the dress shirt? The dress shirt, sorry. Yeah, there's enough room to close, but it's tight. Okay, good. It was perfect. It was perfect. That's good from you. And then so I put the rest of the shirt on and buttoned it up very tight. Tight around the throat.

You need to have that button moved. I've told you that. Like it's a little swole. Like it's. Looking swole. It fits. I'm taking it. But it's maybe there's, yeah.

Okay. But then so I put it on. And I sent this in the group chat. You were the elder millennial group chat. I didn't send it to the wider group chat. The elder millennial group chat. The elder millennial group chat. The elder millennial group chat. Yeah.

And I sent a photo of me in my shirt, and you can see my nipples. It's see-through. Hard nips. They weren't hard. They were just, you could see through. Darkness. This shirt is, I don't know if when I washed it,

it lost some, a layer? Some thickness. Some thickness? It gained an opaque nature. But you saw that video. I can't wear that, because you always take your suit jacket off. Yeah. This is why you need a black Charizard T-shirt.

Because I'm telling you, a nice crisp looking. You can't wear a black T-shirt to a cocktail event. You can. You can wear anything you want to a cocktail event. If you put a cocktail in your hand, it's like being, how do you get your body beach ready? You go to the beach. How do you get yourself cocktail party ready?

You go to a cocktail party. Don't let the suit make the man. The man makes the suit. Right. Carry it. You don't want to be inappropriate. Free the nips. Do you know, I had a nip incident yesterday.

Okay. Because you may be a long-time listener to the show or remember I was suffering from nipple aggravation at the gym. Yes. The running on the treadmill and the exercising and then the top gets a bit wet and there's some nipple aggravation at the gym. Yes. The running on the treadmill and the exercising, and then the top gets a bit wet and there's some nipple aggravation. So I've been plastering up. Yeah, okay.

Every time I chuck some plasters over the nipples before the gym. Yesterday I was down to my last plaster. I hadn't planned ahead very well. So which nipple did you sign? No, so what I did is I held the plaster and I ripped it. Oh, yeah? Because it doesn't need to be the padding over the nip. The nip just needs to be covered with an adhesive. Yeah, it. Oh, yeah. Because it doesn't need to be the padding over the nip.

The nip just needs to be covered with an adhesive. Yeah, okay. Oh, that's dangerous. I know, but I was desperate times call for desperate measures. But when you rip a plaster in half, the thing kind of frays a little bit and I put it on and I took my hands away and they were stuck. So I was like, perfect. And I put the singlet on and then I looked and I was like, you can kind of see something's there anyway.

I was on the treadmill and these old gals that are there, they're cross trainers and they go for a little walk on the treadmill and God bless them and good on them for getting out there and getting some fitness in there. I don't want to say their twilight years, but they were getting a little bit older and I was like, yeah, good on them. I've seen them before. I admired them. And then at the end of it, I was like packing up to leave and I had my headphones on and

I could see one of them was trying to say something and I was like, I beg your pardon? And I pushed the headphone back and she's like, we've just been wondering, have you pierced both your nipples? And I was like, what? What? And she's like, have you pierced your nipples? We just noticed before. Oh, because they're sticking out a bit more.

Because the plaster had like frayed a little bit. It wasn't like a flat plaster straight across. It had kind of poked a bit. And I could see it looking at it and I was just like, it does. I was like no, no, no. I put a plaster across. Yeah, right. I was down on my last plaster and I had to rip it. And I was like, see? And I showed an old lady my nipple.

I showed an old lady my nipple. I don't know if you should do that. She asked. Yeah, she didn't ask to see the nipple. But she's old school too. Yeah, right. She's old school. She's not going to be like, ah, cancel him for showing me his nipple.

She'll probably go home and say to her husband. Yeah. Whose name is Gary. Yeah. Gary, I saw the most delightful young man's nipples. I don't know if she will. She might have. We thought he had pierced nipples, Gary. Turns have. We thought he had pierced nipples, Gary.

Turns out. He didn't have pierced nipples, Gary. He put plasters over his nipples because they're a little sensitive against the chafe of his athletic gear. I don't even want to know what Gary said about you. I can't wait to see Gary at the gym. He goes to, doesn't he?

He'll have, well, no, no, but if he does, he'll have big plasters over his nips. Because, you know, old people have those plasters that you cut your own legs. They do, yeah. So it's probably gone big. It's more economical. nips. Because, you know, old people have those plasters that you cut your own legs. They do, yeah. So it's probably gone big. More economical.

Gone big. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work.