ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st March 2024

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

How superstitious are you? Hayley's pelvic purchase Right person wrong time... Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you Bryn. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Mine is Vaughan again who is sick today. Look we've just said take the rest of the week on. It sounds like COVID but he's not testing positive for COVID. No. I think he's got expired rat tests which is upsetting because Hayley and I went to a concert last night, didn't we? And Vaughan was meant to be here to carry the show so that we could be

hung over POSs and sleep on this couch in the Christchurch studio. Instead, we've got to literally lift up the show, put it on our shoulders for the next three hours.

No, I'm alright. We just had a late night. Just a late one. At Matchbox 20 last night. What a great show. Great show. Great show. Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox 20. The Goo Goo Dolls. And today, your Friday flashback, I believe,

will be a song from, are you going to go Matchbox 20? Well, listen, I've flopped around. It's actually Vaughn's flashback, so I'll take that. Okay. As I'll take the top six in Fact of the Day. Yeah. Mate, could have done with you today.

And I flip-flopped around. I thought about like a bit of a gothy vibe. Yeah. Gonna tell you what, I dipped a toe into Creed yesterday and I thought, let's just get some Christian Rock on this station once and for all. But no. Look, it's been poo-pooed and I think Matchbox 20 was so fun last night that we should absolutely just play some Matchbox

20. Well, that'll be today's Friday flashback when we play Five on Time. A chance for you to win your share of $50,000 cash. The current jackpot, because nobody has managed to get exactly five seconds, the current jackpot is $13,000. So your chance at 8 o'clock this morning,

listen out for that activator before the news, to play, $13,000. That would really lift me up today. Yeah. That would really take me higher. Let's give it away at 8 o'clock this morning. The top six on the way. Yep.

Apparently a lot of people getting their news now from TikTok. Which is worrying. And I think given the landscape in New Zealand of news and journalism, it's probably going to get worse. Yeah. So I've got the top six headlines you'll find. Top six news headlines

you'll find on TikTok. Next on the show though, Netflix has done some research. They've got all the stats. They know when you're watching. Oh God, they're like Santa. And so I've got some stats from Netflix about Australia

and New Zealand viewing habits. Not just how long we're spending on Netflix, but also, and this is like quite surprising, where people are watching Netflix

and one of them is quite yuck. Okay. It's next. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Are you flirting with me? You found some blue light blockers. Some glasses.

Some glasses. Do I suit glasses? They look cute. Oh, thank you. Okay. It's nice. I'm wearing sunglasses because it's way too bright in this studio. We're in a small studio in Christchurch and there's like 20 lights in here. Yeah, a little hungover too. Now Netflix Australia have released some viewing stats. Australia of Australia, New Zealand.

Just how we Netflix. Now, we watch a lot. I mean, even if it's not Netflix, you watch a lot of streaming services, right? Yeah. We talked about this recently. We were like, oh, you know, adults are spending X amount of time looking at screens a day. And I was like, no, right? Yeah. We talked about this recently. We were like, oh, you know, adults are spending X amount of time looking at screens a day.

And I was like, no, we don't. And then I was like, yes, we do. Yeah, when you count Netflix. If you think about at work, you're looking at your laptop and then you're looking at your Netflix on TV. So the average time that Australians in New Zealand

spend streaming, 13.6 hours a week. Jeepers. That's 29.4 days a year and 350 weeks over a lifetime. So that's a couple of hours a week. Jeepers. That's 29.4 days a year and 350 weeks over a lifetime. So that's a couple of hours a day. And if you think you might not watch every day. It's a couple of episodes.

Yeah, exactly. A couple of Bs. And then it might be a couple of movies at the weekend. And before you know it, you've watched a lot. It's like when you finish a show like Game of Thrones and someone comes out with that stat like, oh, it actually takes two days to watch it. Yeah, and you're like. And you're like, what? Stop it. actually takes two days to watch it. Yeah, and you're like. And you're like, what?

Stop it. It's two days of my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, people have admitted the weird and wonderful places that they have watched Netflix and 21% of people are watching on the toilet. Why are you doing that? Have watched. Maybe they're on their phone and they're like, well, I don't want to stop the show.

They've got headphones on. Right. So they're like, well, I'll just take it with me. Right. 14% have admitted at the office. I had a friend that had a cubicle at work, at his workplace, and he would just have his laptop or his iPad or whatever it was next to his desktop computer, and he would just watch shows.

Yeah, I mean, I sort of get it. I'd quite like to do it. Definitely some we've got, you know, because we share a workspace with other radio stations. Some of them have TVs in their studios. Oh, yeah, they'll be watching them. They just watch the telly. We should get one.

We should get one. Let's watch a bit of telly. There's one in the crush. Yeah, I turned it off. Did you see I turned it off? Because there was a quiz on there and it was distracting. It was a quiz. And I was like, I'm turning that off because we cannot distract Hayley. Yeah, no. Next on the show. Terrible news if you are a man and you are in a relationship.

Oh. Once you're into this relationship, something happens to you. And I tell you what, actually, I'm not a man, but it has happened to me as well. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. So, you know the theory that when you're in a relationship you put on a kind of

like a happy couple of KGs? A happy couple? More like a happy... Yeah, happy 10. Five or 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. It's actually true.

So, and apparently it's men that are doing it. This research has proven this is their words, not mine. Okay. Men get fat and lazy after they get married. Oh, wow. Within the first five years, their BMI increases by 5.2%.

Oh, no. Their body weight increases by 5.2%. Right. So not 5kgs, but 5%. 5.2% of what they are yep uh and then increases their bmi bmi is a stupid number but if you if you put it against like like it's 5.2 of however much you weigh yeah and that's within the first five years after getting married literally eating more calories and exercising less after you get married because you don don't need to try, right? Like, you don't need to, you've caught them.

I mean, I suppose so. You're like, why bother? Yeah, and you do that thing after dinner. You're like, well, should we have ice cream? Yeah, yeah, like, we're just living a nice life now. Let's just get some ice cream. Let's just sit on the couch, just hang out. No, but we're being good, we're being good.

Oh, don't be. So they're referring to it as happy fat. And I definitely, I definitely did this, like like a few years into my relationship with Aaron. I definitely like got a bit fat. In fact, I actually remember, and I know this sounds like a terrible thing, but I remember my brother lives in Australia. We went to Edinburgh together. And he turned up and he saw me in Edinburgh.

He's like, oh, Hales, you look so happy. Really happy and fat. And I was like, yeah, man, I am fat and happy. Happy and fat. He wasn't wrong either. Yep. Do you know what, though? So this study said that this happens to men, right?

They're putting on about 5% of their body weight. Yep. Women aren't doing the same. In general. Are they? Not at all. Nah. So you're fattening us up.

Don't blame me. So you're fattening us up. You're in charge of what you eat. You're fattening us up so that other girls don't find us attractive. It's a jealousy thing. It's a jealousy thing, is it? It is a jealousy thing. We want to make sure that no one else will ever look at you.

We want to turn you into fat, lazy slobs so that we can keep you, but we're going to keep it taut ourselves just in case we want to run. Just in case you want out. Just in case we want out, we're going to find a new mate. Okay, right. I mean, I get it. Yeah, totally. You know what I mean? That's why you're so slim at the moment, because you're split from Margaret. My fictitious wife. Your fictitious wife left you. On and off wife, yeah. Your fictitious wife left you, and honestly, you've literally never looked better. Yeah, yeah. Whereas I'm 13

years in, and I've just, you know, I just, settling in. I have no comment to make. I'm just, I'm just, you know, frumpy dumpy, but happy.

Yeah. Happy. Happy. Whereas you're lonely and miserable. You are so miserable. So miserable, but slim. You sit at home like,

ooh, I want a wife. I miss Margaret. That's exactly what I do. But boy, oh boy, you're looking great. Thank you. And really slim.

Thank you. One day I hope to put on five kgs and be happy like you. Find a new Margaret. There were plenty. We went to Matchbox 20 last night. Plenty of beautiful women there who would love to replace Margaret. Yeah, I don't know. Okay.

Next on the show. No, hang on. If you are a suitor and you are a single woman. I don't know. Okay. Next on the show. No, hang on. If you are a suitor and you are a single woman looking for a husband, Next on the show. Looking for a husband. Next. We're not doing this. Fletch is miserable and alone. And he needs a wife.

Yes, I am. So he can pork it up and just be fed and be happy fat. Stop trying to fatten me up, okay? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, there has apparently been a rise in in-flight theft. Now, I haven't seen any reports of this in New Zealand, like domestically. You'd be pretty ballsy to get up in the middle of a one-hour flight between Auckland and Wellington and go through someone's bag.

Yeah, and our planes are small. Yeah, but you know like long haul flights where a lot of people sleep and there have been some really high profile, end of last year somebody had $23,000 stolen. $23,000? Yeah, like you can't even carry that much cash into a country. What are you doing with all that? Yeah, like that's't even carry that much cash into a country. What are you doing with all that? Yeah, like that's dodgy, right?

And also another man arrested. These are flights, one of them into Singapore and one of them into Tokyo. Police arrested a serial, like in-flight stealer. And so apparently, yeah, people just go through handbags and bags during long-haul flights and just pilfer stuff. It kind of makes, now look, I'm not a thief. I've never stolen in my life. No.

Did you not have a teenage shoplifting case? No, remember I stole as a child. Yeah, right. I used to steal from bags as a child, but no, I never shoplifted or anything like that or stole from someone's handbag. Yeah. But I get it. It's very opportunistic.

And you're right. Like you're asleep. You've got your handbag. Yeah. But I get it. It's very opportunistic. And you're right. Like, you're asleep. You've got your handbags. Yeah. Your wallets, everything. I kind of get it. Apparently, yes, some travel insurance agencies have noticed an increase in claims for in-flight luggage.

Well, this happened to a friend of ours, didn't it? Yes. I mean, we won't name him because he works for another radio station but let's just call him Paddy Perclane. His mum and dad were going on a long haul flight to LA and the purse was just down at the feet and someone went through it. I kind of get it you just see a purse and you're like, I'll get it. But you don't get it it's not your purse. No I like, I'll get it. I'll just take that. But you don't get it. You don't. It's not your purse.

No, I know. It's wild. But yeah, she had a bit of a hard time trying to get it back, right? Well, yeah, you've just got to insurance. You've got to go down the insurance route. So yeah, maybe get a little, one of those combination locks for your wallet or your purse. Oh, God. Imagine having a padlock on your purse and your wallet and everything.

I couldn't be bothered. Especially when you're going to buy a little bag of lols for the plane. That's a lot of rigmarole. That's a great use of the word rigmarole, actually. Thank you. Now, we've had some texts in, possible suitors for you, Fletch. Absolutely not. On your quest for a girl.

Absolutely not. Play ZM's Fletch for the daily. Play ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Hi there. Okay, apparently more than

40% of 18 to 24 year olds, aka Gen Z, get their news from TikTok. Which is not great, is it? Because anybody get their news from TikTok. Which is not great, is it? Because anybody can put news on TikTok. It's not monitored. Nope.

It's not regulated in any way. You can put anything up there. There's no journalistic integrity. Nope. And I imagine with the way things are going, this is just going to increase. Yeah. I mean, that's not to say there isn't great sources and people doing amazing stuff online. Like, there are people that have TikTok and Instagram feeds and reels that are, like,

you know, really informative and well-researched. Yeah. Do you know what? I've never been a big Twitter user, ever. Yeah. But Twitter was really great for breaking news. Yeah, it was. Yeah.

Like, I mean, I've literally deleted the app. Yeah. But back in the day, it was a great source of news. But if that's the only place people are learning, it's not great, is it? It's not great. It's not great. So I have curated the top six news headlines you're likely to find on TikTok. Okay.

Number six on that list, oh my god, Kate Middleton is actually dead and the royal family's trying to hide it. Okay, but what is happening there, seriously? Yeah, what is happening? Because where is she? In and out of hospital, apparently. We haven't seen her for a while. Obviously we've been focusing on the king and his illness. Yeah, but it's a

body double. It is 100% a body double, you can tell, because one of the moles has flipped to the other side. And she's actually dead. I think they actually ordered to have her killed. Yeah. And they're just trying to hide it. They're trying to sweep it under the rug

and just replace her with the body double. Now, that's the kind of news you wouldn't find anywhere, not on the BBC, not on the NZ Herald. Oh, because they don't have the balls to tell you that. Yeah. I'll tell you what, it's the media. Yeah. It's the woke media.

They don't have the balls to say it. Number five on the list of the top six news headlines you're likely to find on TikTok. Top story, Taylor Swift took a breath. Oh, goodness. She breathed. How many times? In and then reportedly, according to TikTok news headlines,

in and then out. Did she follow that up with another in-out? I'm not sure. It's a developing story that Taylor Swift breathed and I believe she also walked and ate today. Fantastic. This is breaking news. We are up

to date now, aren't we? Yeah. Great. You don't get news like that on the NZ Herald. They don't have the balls to report on it. Number four on the list of the top six news headlines you'll find on TikTok. Breaking news. Stanley has released a new soft pink quencher. Run, run, run. You heard it here first.

Run, run, run. Now, they've had a soft pink, but now this is slightly dirtier soft pink. Oh yeah, okay, right. I tell you what, BBC wouldn't have the balls to break that news. To break that news. Yeah. But TikTok news headlines got you covered. Number three on the list of the top six news headlines you're likely to find on TikTok

because that's where people, well Gen Z is getting their news now. Khloe Kardashian's nose reportedly days away from falling off. Kourtney and Kim shocked, even though their faces don't move. Yeah, why don't they move? Botox. Yeah, I wouldn't know.

Just hazarding a guess there. I wouldn't know. Yeah. I don't have frown lines because I've just SPF. Sorry, was that out loud? So it's SPF. Yeah. Are you angry at me?

Are you frowning at me? I can't tell. Yeah, because I don't know why you're curious. I'm sorry, it's SPF. It's SPF. Right, okay, yeah. But Kim Courtney. It just doesn't move at all.

Is that what the SPF does? Yeah, yeah. The SPF like freezes this bit. Okay, great. Yeah, I put quite a bit of SPF here in between the eyes. Yeah, and it just freezes it. Wow, okay. That's amazing.

People are like, Hayley, have you worked out? I'm like, no. I just wear sunblock. I've been saying it. Yep. Number two on the list of the top six news headlines you're likely to find on TikTok, whether it's where the Gen Z is getting the news,

homeless man's life is changed by a man who filmed the whole thing so that everyone knew he was being nice to a homeless man. I hate when people do that. You're doing something nice, but you're filming it. You're taking advantage of that person. TikTok shoves camera in the face of homeless man who's down and out.

Has solved the housing crisis too, by the way, the homeless crisis. Yeah, it has. Yeah. Single-handedly. Brilliant solved the housing crisis too, by the way. The homeless crisis. Yeah, he has. Single-handedly. Brilliant. And that's all because of TikTok news. Tell you what, stuff wouldn't have the balls to report news like that. And number

one on the list of the top six news headlines you're likely to find on TikTok. Breaking news, Taylor Swift breathed again. Just following up. Breaking news, she took another one in and another one out. Yeah. Breaking news. Taylor Swift's existing as we speak.

Guys, Taylor Swift is currently existing. Breaking news. Okay, great. Top headline of TikTok news. That is today's top six. We are hearing some details of some breaking news in the whale world. Huge breaking whale news.

Huge breaking whale news regarding whales. We've got some gay whales. We've got gay whales. They've been seen in the wild. There's been footage of two male whales going at it. Is it a couple of men? I hope that Bryn will be all over this breaking news story at 7 o'clock in our news bulletin.

If Bryn Rudkin does not report on this. If it's not leading the news hour, I don't have any hope in the news, to be honest. I don't have any hope in the journalism, the news or anything. Sex.life, the podcast season two, the latest episode is out. It came out on Wednesday. What are we, three down now?

Three episodes in and things are really spicing up. Now, for those that don't know what season two is about. Season two, Morgan Penn, our friend and somatic sexologist, she is going into the underbelly of the sexual landscape of Aotearoa and going to all sorts of events, parties, kink events. Like kind of like the stuff you most people don't know goes on. Yeah, like no one knows what is happening. Yeah, you're getting emotional.

And there's a lot. And it's really sexy and Morgan's going to them all and telling us about them. So download the podcast, wherever you podcast, iHeartRadio, for example. Last night at the concert we went to, a couple came up to us and the girl said, oh my god, I love sex.life. And the boyfriend says, and I love

what sex.life does for our relationship. And I said, good for you. You are welcome. You can also get a discount as well, thanks to Wild Secrets. You can use the promo code sex.life for a 20% discount on your next purchase at wildsecrets.co.nz with the

sex.life podcast. Easy. Easy peasy. I'm going to say lemon squeezy. Next on the show, a couple got stuck for hours doing something and this actually rang a bell with me because this same thing happened to me. Oh my gosh. The story's gone viral.

So I want to delve into that next on the show. A couple have gone viral. They took their family. They were at a resort and for some reason there was an opportunity to get a room upgrade. Where was this resort? They don't say. It was just a timeshare resort. Right. And here's what happened.. It was just a timeshare resort. Right.

And here's what happened. So they were at this timeshare resort, and I think they just paid for their hotel room. Yeah. But they were like, while they were there, they saw like, oh, you could get a nice suite. You could be upgraded. Yeah.

You've just got to come to this presentation. And they, she's like. Because explain timeshare to me. So timeshare is like you pay a membership fee. Yes. Or you pay a certain amount of money. And it's a lot. And in America especially, it's very hard to get out of once you sign up. Yeah.

Like it's near impossible. Yeah. Like there have been like loads of like documentaries and news reports on them. Yeah. Stay clear. In America, stay clear. I don't know what they're like here. But you pay a fee and then you get X amount of number of nights a year.

At like a condo or an apartment or whatever. And it could be like around the world. Yeah. So it sounds like a good deal, but just pay for your accommodation. I don't think it ever works out to be good. No, I don't think anyone regrets or ever like loves having it. You're like co-owning a place with people. And so anyway, so to get this room,

they alleged that they were held captive for like five hours. Captive. And not able to leave until they finish a presentation. And this kind of rang true for me because like years and years ago, my friend and I were on the Goldie

and you know, we didn't have loads of money and you know, the theme parks aren't cheap. Yes. Well, and then we walked past a sign. It was like free Dreamworld tickets. Oh, my God.

But you had to sit through or you had to go through this presentation. And it was honestly like two hours. But at the end of it, there was no obligation. And we got two free tickets. So at the end of this presentation, did they come up to you and go, are you interested? Yeah, but I had no money. So you just say, no. Just can't afford it.

Nah, you just say no. And we're just laughing the whole time. I can't afford it. Yeah. I'd go if I could have some drinks. All the other people there wanted free Dreamworld tickets too. Yeah, of course. That's the only reason.

I guess that they're just sort of hoping, you know, if they give away enough tickets, maybe one person might buy it. Yeah. I'm literally just here for the tickets. I'm just here for the tickets. Yeah. But yeah, we went to Dreamworld for free. But it was like literally two hours of our life. And I've been sort of stuck in this timeshare

situation that I can't get out of. But we did go to Dreamworld for free, so that kind of helped. It was great. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so, so silly, silly, silly, silly, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Today's silly little pole. Do you still own DVDs? Now, the reason we ask this is because I was reading an article the other day about certain DVDs and Blu-ray discs are now worth a lot of money, like a collector's item. But why? I guess how we sort of collect records. Well, there's been a resurgence at even cassettes.

That's wild, eh? Yeah. Just stream the song. It's way easier. I will never, just listen to the radio. We'll play what you want. Yeah.

I will never forget the day I had my Spice Forever cassette. Yep. And I was at after school care. Yep. And a girl, her name's Georgia,

she ripped it. She ripped the little sleeve, you know, of the lyrics. Yep. And she was like, we're having a look. And I was like,

no. And she ripped it. I'm calling you out, of the lyrics. Yeah. And she was like, we're having a look. And I was like, no. And she ripped it. I'm calling you out, Georgia. Where is she now? She lives just out of Wellington. What, you've tracked her down? Do you just keep tabs on her? Yeah, she lives close to my parents.

Do you keep tabs on her just so you can keep hating her? Yeah. Okay. You owe me, Georgia, the Spice Forever cassette sleeve. I was devastated. But yeah, people are still holding on to these things. But I got rid of all my DVDs. Same.

A long time ago. CDs and DVDs. You don't need them. Nah. I don't have any way of playing them. So we asked, do you still own DVDs? Shocked by this. No.

53%. Yes. 47. What? Almost a split. Do you think it's that people have their favourite movies, they bought them ages ago, and then they've just put them on from time to time?

Put them on what? Put them on what? Well, they've obviously still got a DVD player. Oh, no. I don't have a single thing to play. Because you bought Aaron a PlayStation, you could play them on that. Yeah, I do have the one for disc, but...

But, like, laptops now don't have CD or DVD drives. They haven't for ages. They haven't for ages. I don't have a single way to play a CD or a DVD at all. Neither. Okay, well, here's some feedback from the peeps. Okay. Alexandra says, yes, because what if the movie you want to watch isn't online?

They're all online. Everything's online. You just got to search through them. Yeah. You know? Sarah says I own them but have no way to play them. Oh, right. Just chuck them in the bin. You drop them

off to the cellies. You always see DVDs to cellies. They don't want your crap. Your CD racks. Stop dropping off crap to op shops. They don't want it. Brittany says yes because if the Wi-Fi ever goes out I don't want to have to talk to people. Chuck a DVD in in the hopes that they get the point.

Yeah. Again, she obviously still has a DVD player. They take up space. DVD shelves and CD shelves never looked great. Oh my god, they're ugly. They are so ugly. And those racks? The CD racks that were squiggly. Yes.

Ali says, I look around my house and there is genuinely not even one device that could play a DVD. Laptops have all got rid of the slot. Yeah, they do. There's no slot free. No slot. Slotless. They barely even have holes on them now. Just a charging port and that's it.

Ashika says, I have the box set of the OC. It cost me so much money back in 2005 that I can't get rid of it, but I also don't have any way of watching it. Yeah, always a great soundtrack, the OC. Have people been getting back into that? Because it's on streaming somewhere, eh? Yeah.

Is it? Yeah, it is on a streaming service. I've seen lots of articles about the OC recently. People are getting back into it. I didn't really watch it when on the streaming service. I've seen like lots of articles about the OC recently. Like people are getting back into it. I didn't really watch it when it was out. Maybe I could dip a toe. The music was always amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Is that it? Yeah. California.

Yeah, that song. There we go. That was a terrible version by you, but. Yeah, Dee-dee-dee-dee. You tried. Dee-dee-dee-dee. You've literally got a piano there. I know. Amy says, they're

legacy DVDs, which play on the Xbox. I wouldn't buy new ones and I don't own a DVD player. Why, guys? The general theme here is that we don't have any way of playing them. Tashan says, do I own DVDs? Dot, dot, dot. Yes!

Are they sitting in a drawer on my coffee table? Dot, dot, dot. Yes. Are they sitting in a drawer on my coffee table? Dot, dot, dot. Yes. Have I watched any of them in the last 20 years? Dot, dot, dot. No. Am I planning to get rid of them? Dot, dot, dot. No. I don't know why I hate them. We've had a text in. My partner has over 100 DVDs

still in his collection. It's the bane of my existence. And when we move house, it's a pain. Get rid of them. Yeah, it is. Get rid of them. But apparently they still watch them.

Natalie says, of course, streaming services don't have everything. They do. Plus, there's a point though because you've got to have all the streaming services

to cover your bases and then you're paying like $200 a month. I know, who would do that? Yeah. Streaming services don't have everything plus my collection is awesome. Why would I get rid of it when i spent so much time and money growing it um jess even says we still have vhs oh wow okay the only vhs i have is like one of me as a child

yeah and i have no means of playing it it's just there to one day I'll get around to putting it on digital. Yeah. Kitty says, bluey DVDs for the car has been a bloody lifesaver. Oh, you just get a little mini DVD player, yeah. We're the effluent type with a DVD player in our car. Affluent or effluent? They said effluent.

I think they meant effluent. They might, no, but there might be a poo problem if there's kids. There might be effluent in the back. Yeah. Affluent. But they've might be effluent in the back. Yeah, affluent. But they've got a DVD player in their car. Liquid waste or sewage is effluent.

So maybe they are effluent people. Yeah, because that was a joke on Kath and Kim, wasn't it? Yes, that's right. We're very affluent. Play ZM's Fletch for the Daily. Play ZM. Okay, if you missed it, you can find it over on FVHZM socials. I weed myself a little bit in the Faro supermarket in Epsom in Auckland.

And they did contact you after the story. They did. And point out that there were public toilets that you thought didn't exist, but they do exist. They do exist. And so you could have used the toilet. And said I used my pants. You just went.

I just, I went. Just, yeah. Yeah. Why didn't you? This way. Yeah, I know. Okay. Yeah.

I let it out a little bit. It's happened to the best of us. It happened to the best of us. And do you know, a lot of people were messaging me being like, girl, thank you. Because we're all out here just wetting our pants every day. Trying to find a toilet. Trying to find a toilet. And I will say, I've always been someone who pees a lot.

And when I need to go to the toilet, it's really quick. Is this because you've only got one kidney? One bladder. We've all got one bladder. I do have one bladder. One heart. Yeah. One heart. One love. Yeah I mean it could be to do with it. Right. Does it mean that you

wee more because you've got less kidneys? Yeah I don't know how it really works. Or do I just have a weak bladder? Yeah. Anyway, so this is my theory, right? I've always been someone who struggles with needing to go to the toilet all the time, and I think I've got a weak bladder. Otherwise, I would have been able to hold on to it.

In the ferris, instead of peeing myself a little bit. So, I was looking, I keep getting advertised, because my phone's listening to me. Yeah. I keep getting advertised this little device, and I'm considering purchasing it. Okay. It's called a Perifit, but there's different versions of it. And it's a Kegel exerciser, which you would insert into your canal.

Okay. I believe this is for vagina owners only. Okay, right. I don't know where you would pop it. Okay. It won't fit in the air. No. And up the back's no use. No, right. I don't know where you would pop it. Okay. It won't fit in there. No. And up the back's no use.

No, no. It's not going to help you. Right. So you would insert it in. And it's like a, it looks, does look a little bit like an adult fun toy, but that's not its purpose. Okay. And then you get an app and you can play games.

What? So the device senses when you're, you know when you do a Kegel exercise, you're strengthening like that. Yeah. Like that. That's what strengthens your pelvic floor. And it senses when you're doing it,

and you gamify your exercises. So you could play a game, and when you want, they're like little guys running along, and when you want them to jump, you go. How good is that? And then so rather than just doing boring exercises...

Rather than just doing boring kegels, which you'll never do, you'll forget to do them and stuff. Yeah, a bit like physio exercises. Yeah, exactly. Have you done your elbow strengthening with the dumbbells? You're like, no, that's why I'm here. I'll do them while I'm here. Yeah, mate, just make me better.

Can you just massage me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you fix it while I'm here? I'm not going to do homework while I'm here. Yeah, mate, just make me better. Can you just massage me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you fix it while I'm here? I'm not going to do homework. Yeah. Exactly. But it's like this fun, and you can go, and there's all sorts of different games. Wait, is there like a leaderboard?

It's like, Hayley, wow. Oh, I don't know if there's like a community type function. Because would you want to know that like... Like, look at that. So that's the kind of games. Like, it literally looks like an app game, so that's the little device. Yeah, right. Peri-fit.

Oh, it's been on several news organisations. I know. Huffington Post, CBS. Huffington Post, Vice, Refinery29's talked about it. And so you pop it in, download the app, train and track your progress. I mean, this looks like fun. And all the while, you're strengthening your pelvic floor, so you stop wheezing yourself, and it's good for other things as well.

Yeah, right. But you don't do it at work, though, eh? No, you can strengthening your pelvic floor so you stop wheezing yourself. And it's good for other things as well. Yeah, right. But you don't do it at work, though, eh? No, you can put it in anywhere. I might. Not during the show. You can't be gaming during the show. Look me in the eye. Look me in the eye.

I'm doing my exercises. I'm just going to look over here. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's the final rankings. It is a Friday tradition. Every Friday, final rankings. We rank something. Anything.

Our favourite things in a category. Today, it's not food today. It's swimming styles. Swimming styles. Now, we had quite a big meeting with an overseas advisor and Vaughan thought it was appropriate at this meeting to lounge on the floor.

Yeah. It was a sort of a rich carpet so he proceeded to almost a shag. Plush carpet, yeah. And he proceeded to pretend he was swimming

through it. Yeah, and that gave us the idea. And we challenged him to do some different strokes on the carpet. Of course, he's sick today. He can't even enjoy it. I feel he really would have loved to freestyle. He would have loved to chuck freestyle in there. I reckon he's doing flutterboard.

Yes. Feet only flutterboard. Yes. Now, on the cards, because I just looked up different strokes, because obviously you've got your freestyle. Yes. You've got your breaststroke.stroke, you've got your backstroke. I'm terrible at, freestyle I swim all the time. I'm not good.

Happy, happy, love that. Easy. Backstroke and butterfly, breaststroke. Butterfly is so stupid. I hate all of them. I hate backstroke because I crash into things. So you're a freestyler? Yeah. Rock the microphone? Yeah. Wow. So you're a freestyler? Yeah. Rock the microphone?

Yeah. Wow. Cheerio with the freestyler. Wow. Did you just do that? Are we letting you away with that? Are you a freestyler? Yeah.

Wow. Rock the microphone. Yeah. Well, because, so they've got that, but then I do want to chuck in your flutterboard kicks. Okay. And I will chuck in some doggy in there. Doggy paddle. It's a classic.

It's an absolute classic. Just treading water. Yeah. I love it. See, I used to do swim club and stuff as a kid, but once I got to high school, I was too goth to get into my talk, so I just stopped swimming. You didn't want to keep having to reapply the eyeliner. Oh my God, it was a mess. It would just go in my eyes

and I couldn't be bothered. So I sort of got out of the habit of swimming and now I'm not very good. Like I'm confident in the water but I can do breaststroke because it's easy. Would you be able to swim a few lanes or would it just be so foreign to you now? I don't even remember the last time I did freestyle.

I don't remember the last time I rocked the microphone. No, I don't. Okay. I know how to do it but i think my technique would be quite bad right i'll be very splashy well because i feel like you'd slip through the water you've got i slip yeah like an eel you're just being like yes so if i was to come to the pool with you to go for a swim absolutely not you're not coming to the pool with me i don't want to see me and speedos what pool are you going to i I'm not telling you what pool I'm going to. What if a listener is there and they see you in your little budgie

smugglers? Well, that's what you swim in. No, you don't. You put your long knee-length boardies on and you trudge through the water. Okay, when you swim a lot and you go in shorts and then in Speedos, you know that it's like so much drag.

Do you wear a cap? No, because I've got no hair, so it doesn't matter. But you wear goggles. Yeah, you wear goggles, yeah. Okay. So you're going freestyle. Freestyle. That is my number one.

Because I know how to do it. No. How are we going to do this? It's only two people. This is a tug of war. Okay, I'm going to go number one, freestyle. Okay. Number two, doggy paddle, because it's a classic.

You're in a river, you're just like... Paddling a lake. A lake or the beach, you're just like... And then number three is floating and pretending to be dead to see if mum will notice. Yes. Yeah, face down. Yeah.

Arms out. Mum. Mum. Mum, look Arms out. Mum. Mum. Mum, look at me. And you look up and she's gone inside. Yeah, she's reading the woman's weekly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go breaststroke number one. I'm going to go doggy number two.

And I'm going to do flutterboard kicks. That's a classic. I'm going to do flutterboard kicks. That's a classic. I'm going to do flutterboard kicks with a little like floaty device around your waist. Okay. You're aqua jogging. Like an aqua jog.

You're going to go aqua jogging? Oh, I love an aqua jog. Okay, so what is number one then? Well, I think we're saying doggy paddle. Doggy paddle wins. Imagine if that's how you exercised. Imagine if I never knew this about you. I was like, oh yeah, Fletch swims for exercise

like every, you know, a few times a week. And then I saw you one day and all you're doing is up and down the lanes. It would take a long time to do a few lanes. You'd have to move into the slow lane, wouldn't you? Yes, very much. Or the aqua jogging lane, as you use.

I do. Now, you use. I do. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, out of the UK, this is a stat. Yeah. 37% of people would let a bird poop on them because it's good luck. Yeah, right.

I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah. I knew it. Who didn't our, didn't Sean and Gerard both get shit on on their wedding day? Our friends. Oh, I don't know. I'm sure. Or didn't our, didn't Sean and Gerard both get shit on on their wedding day? Our friends.

Oh, I don't know. I'm sure. Or were they on holiday? Yeah, on holiday and they both got shit on. They were like, good luck. I didn't even know that was a thing. Yeah, it's definitely a thing. I think it's become a thing because it's unfortunate when you get shit on by a bit.

Yeah. So I think they've just turned it to be like, no, no, it's actually good luck. Like rain on your wedding day. You know? But you've got no, no, it's actually good luck. Like rain on your wedding day. You know? But you've got to clean it and it's yuck. It's yuck. It's so yuck. I hate it so much. Yeah. I'm just not superstitious.

So are people going out standing under trees hoping birds will poop on them so they have a good day? I don't think they're doing it on purpose. They're just like, they're not mad about it. If it happens, they're like, well, you know what? Spin on this. It's superstitious. It's good luck. There you go.

And this is what I wanted to talk about, superstitious people because I'm definitely not a superstitious person. I'll walk under ladders. Yes. I was going to say,

do you walk under ladders? Walk under ladders because we were renovating. A lot of ladders have been in my house. I also opened an umbrella inside the other day and the person standing next to me was like,

oh my God, put it down. I was like, what? Like the world's not going to just stop. But did you know that, so like SPCA, they always struggle to get rid of, get rid of, that's terrible, adopt out, home, black cats. Really? Yeah, and a huge part of it is because people think

that they're bad luck. Really? Yeah. But black cats are so cute. They're so cute. They're best. Yeah, and then they get all brown in the sun. That's really cute.

But that's the thing. People are superstitious. Yeah, they are. And a lot of, I think, sportsmen as well, like sports people, might have certain equipment or lucky undies or routines for the match day. Yeah, and if you don't do it, it's like it's all going to go wrong. But is that just because on one day they had a really good game or they scored lots of goals or got lots of runs,

they did something? Yeah, and they put it down to that as opposed to, no, you've actually just been training really hard. Yeah, like that was just you being great. When I first started marching, I marched for a team called Glenette and our coach, Mrs. Hunter, used to have this wooden stick. Yeah. And before each march, she'd go up and down the line and tap you all on the shoulder with this wooden stick.

And I remember once she forgot it and we were all like, we're doomed. We're going to lose. And you know what we did? Did you lose? Yeah, we lost. But not because of the stick. You were just useless that day. Excuse me.

We deserved to win. However, Mrs. Hunter didn't have her stick. Right. Well, this is what I wanted to ask. Are you a superstitious person? Do you dodge ladders? Yeah. Do you have a routine for maybe a sports game or something?

Yeah. How superstitious you are, because 37% of people in a study, this is out of the UK, would not be upset at a bird pooping on them because it's good luck, which I never knew was a thing. Yeah, it's a thing. It's definitely a thing. But we want to know about your superstitions. How superstitious are you?

So many people. Meant to be good luck if it rains on your wedding day, rained on mine. Call my ex-husband and see if it was lucky. Good from her. Hotels don't have a 13th floor often and room numbers jump from 665 to 667. Yeah, a lot of planes as well. Is it like, especially in Asian

countries, a lot of planes won't have a row 13? A bad number. Yeah. Most nurses are superstitious about the word quiet and also full moons. That's from Cherie. Why quiet? I don't know.

Maybe death connotations? Okay. My husband is so superstitious he will not leave the volume number on the TV or on the radio at number 13 or even an odd number. That's very superstitious. My friend and I purchased a pair of white capris when we were teens And they became the lucky pants because we always got guys when either of us wore them

So the superstitious, superstitious lucky white pants Yeah I believe we may have Cassia online too Cassia, good morning Good morning Yes, it's working, sorry, we're just in a whole other studio I believe we may have Cassia online too. Cassia, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Yes, it's working. Sorry, we're just in a whole other studio.

This is incredible technology, this. Yeah. So your dad's superstitious? Yeah, he's always said, as long as I can remember, you never start a new job on a Friday. It does seem weird to start a new job on a Friday. I will say you turn up and then you go and have a weekend. It's like people that start a holiday on a Wednesday

or something. What are you doing? You always start a holiday on a Friday or a Monday or a Sunday or a Saturday. Or you start a diet on a Monday. You start on a Friday, it's just not going to stick. No one starts a diet on any other day other than Monday. Oh, it's Tuesday, I better kick off my new diet. Yeah, or maybe Sunday night.

Where did this start, Kasia, for your dad? It was quite sad, so that he lost a good, one of his best mates on a job, and yeah, they always felt that it was because they

do a new job on a, they worked in forestry. Oh, wow. He always said, like, nah, never set a new job on a, they worked in forestry. Oh, wow. From then he always said, like, Nat never set a new job on a Friday, and so if they finished a job on a Thursday, he'd go to the new block and cut even a single tree down. Right. Just so that that block was started before Friday.

Right. Right. Okay. I mean, I sort of see how you'd, you know, get that into your head. Cassie, a thanks you call. Some more messages. There's so many.

When my mum and dad got married, a black cat walked between them while they were holding hands and doing their vows. They were married for 26 years before my dad passed away. So I don't know if the cat had anything to do with dad passing.

But 26 years, that's a good marriage. By the cat finally got him. Yeah, maybe it was the cat. My husband plays football and he has some lucky shorts that are full of holes, pretty much. His balls are completely hanging out if he bends over. But they're lucky. But there is lucky shorts.

But he doesn't want to try new shorts because he won't win any matches, won't get any goals. Yeah. Okay. Look, here's a list. Never purchase your own wallet. Must be gifted. No, that's not a thing. Bad for money. Okay. No hats here's a list. Never purchase your own wallet. Must be gifted. No, that's not a thing. Otherwise bad for money.

Okay. No hats or shoes on the dining table. I mean, that's just good manners. But I will walk under a ladder all day at work, so go figure. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So we're talking about how superstitious you are and a couple of follow-ups from some earlier messages. So from Casey who was saying

that her dad doesn't start a job on Friday. Not just think, it's a logging thing. Is it? In the forestry industry. Oh, right. Do not start a job on a Friday. It's a whole thing.

Superstitious thing. And you don't say quiet at a paramedic. We've heard from vets as well. They don't use the word quiet because it's like a Murphy's law. The moment you say, oh, it's quite quiet tonight. Oh, yeah.

Emergencies, emergencies, emergencies. Okay, right. And then you feel like you sort of caused all these accidents. Right, okay. You jinxed it. Yeah. Okay, let me just go back down. Oh, my God.

People, I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious. Like minimum stitious. Yeah, I'm just stitious. A little bit stitious. Like I'm not nonchalant. I'm just I'm just stitious a little bit stitious like I'm not nonchalant I'm just chalant yep my dad

who was superstitious was born on Friday the 13th and he thinks that's just sort of cursed him his whole life I'm very superstitious except for black cats

black cats are actually good luck they're witches cats it's also good luck when you move house to let your cat into the house first before you even step in the door.

We're still coming to the open home, though. I can't bring Raleigh. I've already stepped in the house. On a leash. Now, do you like the flow here? Yeah. Do you like the indoor-outdoor flow? Yeah.

Is the lounge big enough for you, Puss? Raleigh, what did you think with the bifold doors? Are they big enough? I have a little button flashlight on my key. Every time I go to start my classic car, Cortina, What would you think with the bifold doors? Are they big enough? I have a little button flashlight on my key. Every time I go to start my classic car, Cortina, don't tickle me. You know I'm in the mood to buy a silly car. I have to press the light button on the key as I'm putting it into the ignition.

If I don't, I feel like the car won't start. But it will. I know it will start, but something in the back of my mind tells me it won't, unless I do the light on the key. Yeah, that's nothing to do with the car starting at all, is it? Yes. Someone texted in saying, not me personally, but my husband's very superstitious. He's nuts.

Number 13 sets him off crazy. Can't stay on the 13th floor of any hotel or any room, number 13. Really? Like, wouldn't be on row 13 on the plane. Okay, I'm going to bring the mood down a bit. Okay. A seagull did a huge poop on my mum one day. Yeah. Later that night, my dog got hit by a car.

No, it's meant to be good luck. Oh, they're just saying, they're just disproving it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry about your dog. Why do you just not read that one out? Well, I wanted to. You know, it's not always laughing out louder. Sometimes

it's just sobbing quietly. Fletch, Juan and Hayley, sobbing quietly. Sobbing quietly in the corner. Doesn't work on a billboard though, does it? No. Marketing wise, is good. I always have to touch the side of a plane before I get on. Really? You see people doing that, boom. What are they just making sure it's not wobbly or something? Yeah. Okay.

I love that someone texts me being like, a bird shouted me on my 12th birthday. And I had a pretty good year. And for the first time ever, scientists have taken photos of two male humpback whales engaged in same-sex recreational activities.

Until now, they had no idea humpbacks did this. Humpback whale enthusiast, Hayley Sproul. Two male whales have been seen mounting each other and getting it on. The whole affair lasted no more than 30 minutes. For more news worth knowing, head to nzherald.co.nz. Stop the clock, win the cash. With ZM's Five on Time.

Good from you, Bryn Bryns. Good from the newsroom. Thank you, Bryn. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Vaughan's away today. Finally, a newsreader that has the guts to report the real news. The big story. Now, apparently, of the entire Matchbox 20 Australia New Zealand tour,

Christchurch last night had the highest level of evictions of patrons. Now, we didn't see too much malarkey going on. Is that why they put the drinks from four per person to two? Yes. So you were allowed to buy four drinks. And we were here with our friend Mike, and we were getting a tray each. He'll be like, I'll go get us a tray. And we'd each have a drink.

He'd have a little bonus one for whoever finished their drink first. And there was other persons. And then I went and I was like, can I get four of the gin and tonics, whatever? And they were like, no, it's two per person. And I said. You know at any venue when the limit of drinks goes down, this is such a New Zealand thing, that things are getting out of hand. Yeah.

How many people were evicted? Who said that? Someone just texted in. Oh, right. Yeah, I don't know how they know that. There would have been someone out there that didn't hear 3am at the end. Yeah. Well, you're welcome.

Someone just said, well, if people were watching me in traffic just now, I really took away 3am, belted the shite out of it. Good stuff. It was so good. Now, I do want to quickly, before we talk about the people near us, I should issue an apology. Yes, because you went a bit rogue last night at one point. I did go a bit rogue. Now, we've talked a little bit earlier that I have a very weak bladder and I pee often. Yeah.

And we actually sort of discovered a bit of a hub. We joined the smokers outside because they had their own little toilets. And we were like, this is fantastic. The lights are so much smaller. So we just got a little bit of secondhand smoke. It wasn't bothering me too much. Anyway, I wasn't, you know, sniffing it in. Anyway, the line outside for the women's toilet

was actually quite long. And then we had to go because Matchbox 20 had kicked off again. Yeah. And then I went inside and the line for the women's was just huge. And I said to Fletch, Fletch, take me in. And I went into the men's toilets and there were like

15 men in there who all looked at me and I was like, sorry! And I covered my eyes and I put my head down because people at the urinal, I didn't need to see any willies. And I went into a cubicle.

But you can confirm you didn't peek. I didn't peek. Okay. Because you also went to the urinal. I don't need to see your... You put your head down. I put my head down. It was good, yeah.

I put my guards up. Okay. And you got a toilet, a cubicle I've got a cubicle So if any men saw me in the toilet last night I had to go Either that or we know what happened in the supermarket Last week

Now that's my apology Yeah Now we had great seats Fletch Good from you I booked early I got right on the end at the exit Now, we had great seats, Fletch. Thank you. Good from you. I booked early. Booked early.

I got right on the end at the exit. Yep. We had, like, no one behind us. We arrived. So good. Yeah, we were right by, like, a little passageway so that we could get in and out. It was great. Great view.

Nice and close, but not right up there. Perfect. We were enjoying ourselves. We're on our feet we're dancing we're singing along to the bangers yeah and all of us

do that thing we start looking around did you fart? not me not me not Mike mystery concert fader we were surrounded

by a mystery concert fader someone kept farting at Matchbox 20 last night and they were like I tangy think they should see a health professional their gut health is all up their gut health is not good that smelt quite festering festering yeah it was really festering not good and it wasn't just like one pop-off it was sort of throughout the evening yeah but then you did

ask the guy in front of us if it was him, and I thought that was kind of like... Did you fart? Excuse me, sir. And he was quite... Yeah. He was quite sure it wasn't him. Yeah, he was like, absolutely not. Yeah. Could have been his wife.

Because you don't know. You don't know. It could have been. I don't think it was the chick next to me. I mean, she was dancing a lot. No, I don't think it was her because it was kind of coming... I think it was in front of to me. I mean, she was dancing a lot. No, I don't think it was her because it was kind of coming, I think it was in front of us

and waffling. But Mike is adamant it wasn't him. And I trust that we would have all just admitted, Mike's giggling, I think we all would have just admitted to each other,

oh my God, I can't stop farting. But a concert and a plane are those places where you can get away with it most of the time. How are you going to work out who's done it? Who are you blaming? Who done it?

Who are you blaming? You don't know. Yeah. But if you were at Matchbox 20 in Christchurch last night and you just couldn't stop tooting, please just know, mate, we smelt them. We smelt each and every single one of them. No matter the size of the arena and the number of bodies and sweat

and everything that was happening. We will take that smell to our graves. Really? I can remember it like it's happening right now. Really sour. And can I just say, get some kimchi in you. Yeah, get that gut health. Get some kombucha.

Some kefir yogurt as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Look after those guts because it did not smell healthy. Yeah. Next on the show. We're going to head over to Shannon, who has had a bit of a work security threat, I believe. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey.

Play ZM. So. Excuse me. We have things to do. You're cutting off a woman in the workplace. Let me speak. Okay. What would you like to?

Soon, we're going to do our Dune Dig to celebrate the release of Dune Part 2. Yes. And we're going to dig in our own Dune. Now, we're going to get Shannon or and or Carwin in the Auckland office to do the digging. I think the last prize is hundreds of dollars. So, your chance soon when you hit the activator to get through. Right now, though, we need to go to Shannon at the social media desk who has, I believe, run foul.

Run foul? Run foul with the IT department. Yeah. The policy. I think I'm in a lot of trouble, and I don't know if talking about it on radio when I haven't dealt with the trouble yet is a good idea. Yeah, right.

Too bad. So what you're saying is, like, rob a bank, but if you talk about it on the radio, then it's a story and it's a good idea. Too bad. So what you're saying is like rob a bank, but if you talk about it on the radio, then it's a story and it fills a break, then it's okay. It's content. It's content. Everything's content.

Well, we know I'm a little bit not the wittiest when it comes to online things sometimes. I know social media is my job, but I have been known to fall for a scam or two. You've been scammed a few times. What are your, run us through your scam history. Well, I paid for a toll road, even though my commute is six minutes on a motorway to Auckland.

That's right. You paid for a toll and you'd never been on a toll road. Okay, yeah, there was that. I remember that. Yeah, signed for like a parcel. I had nothing coming. Just, you know. Paid for the customs, you know, clearance fee and all that.

Yeah, but no, so as I was saying yesterday, I've been catching up on Drag Race Season 16 and RuPaul has really cracked down on all the pirating websites. Normally you can find it on one of my go-tos. Couldn't find it anywhere. I know this is not good. But so I was on Reddit being like, where can I watch RuPaul's Drag Race?

And someone advised me to go to a website called Soy Queer and it was a Spanish website. Soy Queer. And none of the like words were in English, but I could deduce what it was because it was like RuPaul. Oh, right. Okay, yeah. So I found what I wanted.

This is not an advertisement for the website because I have received an email from upstairs saying my laptop has a severe security risk. Oh, severe. We don't want that. Because you went to the soy Spanish website. Soy queer website. But what I did is I went incognito

and I thought they couldn't like hack you as much when you go incognito. Oh my God. That's just so your wife doesn't find out I thought they couldn't, like, hack you as much when you go incognito. Oh, my God. No. That's just so your wife doesn't find out or your husband. What, your little mini movies? Yeah, baby. What little mini movies are you watching?

NZ Me is like my wife and they've found out now. Oh, yeah, you're on the couch tonight. Yeah, you're in trouble. So they sent me, like, a photo of all these things that have popped up now. And I feel like they're going to see Soy Queer and really wonder what I was doing. So you tried to illegally watch a TV show on a work laptop. Yes. You are, this is, you're on your own.

I know. You're Soy Queer. Yeah. So then they've said I need to go upstairs today and they're going to deal with it. And I'm nervous. Oh my God, you're going upstairs. Upstairs. Oh wow. We only go upstairs today and they're going to deal with it. And I'm nervous. Oh, my God. You're going upstairs? Upstairs.

Oh, wow. We only go upstairs when we're in Tuabo. I know. And it's real embarrassing because I have to walk past everyone. And I'm going to have to take it all up there. And just say you were looking at it as part of something, you know, for the radio. Yeah, but you're talking about it now. And it's still illegal.

So, no. You're on your own. Yeah. You're not getting away with this. Actually, but you're talking about it now and it's still illegal. So no, you're on your own. Yeah. You're not getting away with this. Actually, can you not associate us with this crime? Yeah, I want nothing to do with this. You wouldn't download a handbag. You wouldn't steal a car.

You wouldn't steal a car. Yeah. I would download a car if I could. Pirating is stealing. Do you reckon that soy queer is now watching all of our TikToks and like seeing our videos and stuff before they post?

Why don't you watch it how everyone else watches it? How? Is it not on a streaming service anywhere? Well, since this happened, Carwin bought us a subscription to share. Oh my God. I think Carwin just bought a subscription and I'm going to use it.

Okay, right. Do you know what it's called? Now, I've Googled Soy Queer. I'm not going to click on it. Okay. It's called Rupol Carrera de Drugs. Yeah. Oh, okay. Carrera. I'm not going to click on it. Okay. It's called RuPaul Carrera de Drugs. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Carrera. I imagine that's race. So is it like a Spanish series of RuPaul? No, no, no, no, no. No, it's just high-tech American. Oh, right, okay. And they specialise in queer content. Oh, my goodness.

You, okay. Well, I will say for the record that you should not be going to these sites and illegally downloading television shows. I think I've learned my lesson. You wouldn't share it. Well, I don't know if you have, because you haven't got your punishment.

You wouldn't steal a car, would you? Oh, no. I'm in financial, you know. Maybe a car would be good. Okay, well, you could steal a car, but don't steal movies. Well, join us Monday to see if Shannon still has a job. Yeah, probably not.

Honestly, probably not. Play ZM's Fletchch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I am taking care of the majority, actually, it's turned out, of Fact of the Day this week. And this week it's Bad Parents of the Animal Kingdom. Yeah. Now, I've got a few, because these are really, they tickle me.

So I'm going to read a few of them out because it's the last day. Okay. Are you going to choose one main one, though? Yeah, I'll do the main one. Okay. I wanted to do cuckoos. Oh, yeah. Cuckoos.

They live in clocks. Not traditionally. No, I think you'll find they live in clocks. Right. Okay, so what they do is they trick other cuckoos into raising their own, raising the birds, the babies, so that she can go and enjoy life as a single lady. Oh, okay. She does this by laying her eggs in the nest of another bird.

In the clock? No, no, in the nest, in the trees. It's in the clock, yeah. Okay, well, she goes and lays her eggs in another cuckoo's clock. Clock, yeah. And then she goes off back to her own clock and lives like, oh, the single lady's just like, ow, she's drinking, she's with friends, she's doing all sorts, leaving some other poor bird in her clock to raise her offspring.

She's got a party clock. Yeah. So because of this, the chick tends to hatch a little bit earlier and grows faster than the other birds, like the second mum's real kids. Right. Grows a bit faster, and then the other ones are small and then they get kicked out of the nest. So then the new mums only

left the adopted big fat cuckoo and her own children get pushed out and die. So that's the cuckoos and the crocs. Crocs, okay. Now harp seals, they spend 12 days after giving birth to their little pups.

After that, they abandon them, leaving them on like a little stranded on the ice for a month and a half, where it loses half of its body weight and starves. And then they're finally ready to go into the water and live their own life. But about 40% of them die during that time. Because of orcas. Because they're, well, they're hungry and they just die. But the mum's like, I don't care. But they leave them what, like just there without any food?

Yeah, they're just like 12 days. They're like, are you alive enough that I can leave? Yeah, I've got things to do. Pandas? We didn't have pandas when Vaughan was here, did we? No. So they tend to have twins. And all owned by China.

All owned by China. If you have them in the zoo, they've got to be loaned to you by China. Yeah. Oh my God, I love seeing the pandas in China. Anyway, so often pandas give birth to twins. Yeah. If they don't, if they've only got one, the mum tends to abandon it because she's like, it's sort of not really worth the effort.

Do you know what I mean? Like parenting just one. I kind of want a two there. Yeah. Black bears also do the same thing. Really? If they only have one, generally two or three at a time. Yep.

If they only have one, they're like, I'll just get rid of you and I'll try again. Yeah. Because if I'm going to be a mum and do all this parenting, I'll just get rid of you and I'll try again. Yeah. Because if I'm going to be a mum and do all this parenting, I should be better to just do it all with the group. Yeah. I'll read one more. Okay. The Black Eagle. Okay.

So if siblings fight, the Black Eagle babies hatch. If they fight, the mum just watches the fight and then the best one wins and then the strongest sibling will kill the other weakest sibling and the mum's like good for you man. You should have tried harder

to the other one. Yeah, right. Rootless facts this week. So fascinating. I think the quokka is my favourite though. Oh, the quokka's great. though. Oh, the quokka's great. The mum ejects the quokka baby. Yeah. And then it's like

when a predator's there. Yeah. Anyway, so today's fact of the days is that there's a lot of bad parents out in the animal kingdom. Fact of the day,

day, day, day, day. Yeah. day day I do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now if you haven't watched

One Day on Netflix, we've already talked about it but it's a really good show. I loved it. 14 eps. Yeah. The book was like 12 13 years ago or maybe even longer. But basically it's a really good show. I loved it. 14 eps. Yeah. The book was like 12 13 years ago or maybe even longer. But basically it's the story of two people that kind of should have been together

and just life kind of got in the way and it was right person wrong time. Yeah because it's told over 20 years and there are times when you're like maybe they'll get together now but one of them has a partner. Yeah and then one of them's moving away, and then they're going in different directions. But they keep meeting up, and you can feel the chemistry, but it just doesn't happen until the end. Spoiler alert.

Spoiler alert. No spoilers, but yeah. Yeah. And it made you cry. I had a little cry at the end, because you're just so invested in it the whole time. You want it to happen, and then it happens. Anyway, it's sparked quite a debate online. Not a debate, but a lot of people opening up

and sharing about their right person at the wrong time. Kind of the one that got away. Oh, yeah. Someone shared they identify themselves as Hayley. Now, that's my name. You mean there's someone else out there with a really common name from the 90s? Very unique name from 1989.

Yeah. Interesting. Anyway, she said, she thinks about her childhood sweetheart, Craig, all the time. Now, that's my dad's name. Yeah. Bizarre.

Now, she said, I check his Facebook every few months. Deep down, I know we had issues, but I can't help but wonder if I had made a huge mistake by letting him go, despite it being almost 20 years since we were an item, high school sweetheart.

She still has doubts over whether or not the split was a good thing. She said, I'm married now, very happily married. That was going to be my follow-up, is why doesn't she just ask him? But Craig will always be the one that got away. Oh, my God. And I just think that, like, I don't know if I've got one that got away. I know I was someone's one that got away. Did they tell you this?

Yeah. Oh, and do they still want you now? No, I don't think so. Right. Are they a bit like, ooh, now? Yeah, they were like, ooh, what happened to her? Ooh, her body's not what it looked like when she was 19. That's interesting.

How weird did all those little extra bits come from? What's happened to your face? I'm aging. Yeah. Is what's happening. Yeah, I think I, yeah, but I had a conversation with that person. Really? Okay.

This is Volney's. Yeah, it is. I had a conversation with that person and they, like, it just was, things didn't align. They were moving overseas and I was at home and then they came back and I'd met someone and it was like I was ready. But what did you say? I'd met someone. What do you say to someone when they're like, you're my one that got away? You're just like, thanks.

Well, you have a few drinks to get that out for sure. And it was just like, I just think, yeah, I shouldn't. Maybe if I hadn't have stayed or whatever, we would have been together forever. Were you with Aaron when they told you that? No. Okay. Nah. And then when they got together with someone overseas and they came home and then they

separated and I was with Aaron. Right. Oh my God. And it was like just this mist thing. And I do have like a little, I mean, I love Aaron deeply and I don't want to be with this person, but there is a little like flame that burns. Yeah, right. Is this why you say you've got an affair brewing?

It could be him. You could dip a toe back there. Anyway, let's share some stories. I'm feeling a bit vulnice and it's Friday, I'm hungover and I just want to hear some lovely stories or some sad stories even of the right person at the wrong time.

The one that got away. Do you have a one that got away? Yeah. 0800 DALS at Emerson number. You can text her as well if you want to be anonymous, 9696. Yeah. Share with us the story of the one that got away.

Right now, we're tugging at the heartstrings because everybody's watching One Day on Netflix. It's an amazing book if you haven't read that or seen the Netflix show. Yeah, and it's really the story of two people who were like the right person at the wrong time. Now, I shared my story and I fear I've really filled in Mike and Fletch on the rest of the details. Wow, okay. But it was juicy, but I shan't be sharing.

And this is what people have been doing because of the Netflix show. People are sharing their similar stories. Yeah, the one that got away, the person that you always think, God, that was the one. And I missed it. Though, some people are sharing that they, before we talked to Jess, are sharing that they had the one that got away, and years later, where's that text? 20 years later, I got him back.

20 years later, I got him back. We are now happily married. Oh, wow. Like, that's so good because it's a happy ending but don't you just like wish they'd been there 20 years ago and you know what you missed out on all of that time. Yeah.

I was someone's one that got away. We matched on Tinder 10 years ago and only met in person once. One date. Yeah. Every single New Year's since for 10 years he tries to add me as a friend on Instagram and slide into my DMs. I joke with my now husband that I've still got it post two kids. Wait, that just sounds like a stalker.

I think it's got to be reciprocal to have the one that got away. We need to have love involved, not just a fantastic shag. Yeah. There are some incredible. Oh, my God. I literally was reading one of these stories of the one that got away, and I got to chill up my thigh. So great.

Okay. So because of the Netflix show one day, which is from the book, which by the way, I saw a news headline yesterday. They're trying to do a spinoff series. I was like, no. No, it's a perfect thing. Sometimes you've got to know. You've got to know when to walk away. I know.

But we want you to share your stories of the one that got away. Jess has called. Jess, good morning. Good morning to share your stories of the one that got away. Jess has called. Jess, good morning. Good morning. Who's your one that got away? Tell us what happened. So, I'm 33, turning 34 this year. And when I was 19, I was working in a mall,

and I was the manager, and the guy that owned the muffin break in the mall, I fell for him. Oh my god. So I completely the mall, I fell for him. Oh my God. So I completely just like fell completely in love with him. He was my coffee guy. We used to go out for breaks together. We were really good friends and it never went beyond that,

but I was just besotted. And then his life moved away. He sold the kiosk and then I was like, oh, I've lost my friend and I really missed him and we weren't in touch. And then nearly three years later, I moved to the same city he did and we ran into each other

where he was working at his new job and he like picked me up and swung me around in this big house. Oh my God, like a bloody movie, Jess. Yeah, it was really magical. And I was still this, like, I was younger than him, so I am younger than him. So still the butterflies and the giddy, like, I'm so in love with you.

And so then our relationship became a relationship from there and we useddy like I'm so in love with you and so then our relationship became a relationship from there and we used to like hook up and I would go over and stay with him and our relationship escalated and then for like a year we were casually kind of seeing each other and our relationship was getting more and more intense and then again our lives went in different directions and then I met someone and I had a couple of kids and I got married and my relationship has now ended. And I randomly ran or met back up with him online and got back in touch with him this year, eight years later. We had a phone call a couple of weeks ago. I randomly called him just to catch up.

It was easier than texting at the time. We were on the phone for over an hour and just catching up and then he messaged me straight after we hung up and he was like oh my god the sound of your voice and so many memories and it brings back so much and so good to hear from you and so now we're like in touch again but he has

a partner now oh no we're just spinning around each other. And I'm still in love with him. It still gives me that really like... Oh, you are living. You are literally in a one-day 14-part episode.

Yes. Oh, yeah. My life could be a story. And honestly, our relationship from eight years ago, Hayley, it could be an episode for you and Morgan, you know? Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. Oh, my God, Jess. Okay, we've got to chip away and we've got to break up this relationship somehow. I know, I don't want to be a saboteur, but God, I just want him to be yours. And, you know, the messages, oh, you know, naughty things would happen. He said we shouldn't go near each other right now, you know? Okay, Jess, Jess, can we be part of this journey, please?

I would love if anything changes. Update us. Please update us. Send a message to Hayley. I'm so deeply invested. I'll DM you on Instagram. I'm a big fan. Okay.

Incredible, Jess. Good luck. Hayley doesn't read her DMs because she's a B. I don't read my DMs. Text into the station. I will read them. I will. I will.

Okay. Text me 027. Get my number. Hayley, we don't give out on here. Jess, thank you so much. Now, we've got so many messages. I know. I'm going to try to get through some. Similar stories. I have one that got away. A summer romance. Best summer of my life. Was only young, but

it was the real deal. He lived in Cambridge. I lived in Auckland, so never saw each other other than holidays at that same spot. Unfortunately nothing ever came of it but I always wonder what could have been. I was best friends with the boy next door since I was seven years old. We both liked each other at different times, always missing. He was my

first kiss. Terrible sloppy passion my garange. At about 16 I declared my love for him and he was very lovely about it but he said he wanted to ask at another girl from another school they are now happily married and so am i but i occasionally wonder what could have happened if he had said yes to me my one that got away was purely because of timing i was emotionally attached to another person at the time my ex and wasn't ready to move on so we went our ways. I check up on her social media every few months as I know she is the one.

She was doing the same thing unbeknownst to me. Then eight years later, I messaged her on Facebook and we met up again. 17 months later from that, we've been inseparable ever since and we are engaged and super happy. She was my person all along. Oh my God. There's the thigh tingle.

That's goosebumps. I met my person when I was 17. Tell me when I need to stop because there's so many. No, go. I met my person when I was 17. We had an on and off thing for a few years. I'm now happily married with someone else, but unfortunately my person that got away passed away and I always think about them. See, that would feel so incomplete, wouldn't it?

Not one that got away anymore. I was dating my one in high school. I was 15, he was 17. We separated because I moved back to Auckland from Parmy. I never stopped thinking about him, and clearly he didn't stop thinking about me either because I got a call at my workplace when I was 25,

so seven years later. I had all, oh no, 10 years later. He had tracked me down after he had moved to Auckland himself and asked to catch up for a coffee. We eventually caught up. We now have a daughter and we are married. No, I had had a daughter with someone else and I was married. We ended up leaving our partners and have now been together for eight years,

are married and have two beautiful children together. My God. You did the right thing. You knew. You just knew. Okay. Oh, my God. I'm a female.

I met a girl in London. We've got a lesbian. You just knew. Okay. Oh, my God. I'm a female. I met a girl in London. We've got a lesbian. Here we go. We love to hear from our lesbian listeners. We do. Well, we've had the gay whale story this morning. We love it. Yeah.

I don't know if we'll have an update at nine. I don't know if there's been any developments there. Guys, there's so many messages. I don't know. It's nine o'clock. I'm a female. Met a girl in London. She just came out of a relationship.

Wasn't ready to move on. We were in on and off for over a year. I fell in love with her. While she never, oh no, where's that text gone? While she never said it, she definitely had deep feelings for me. One morning she got up and said, I can't do this anymore and left.

I've never seen or heard from her again. She was definitely the one that got away. I'm married now, but I always think about her. How many people are married right now thinking about someone else? Yeah. Or with someone and they're like, I've got someone that got away.

My high school sweetheart, together for six years, we had our issues and a lot of growing up to do. We're now separate ways. We had other relationships, children's lives, seven years of being apart,

but I always knew he was the one that got away, but I'd accepted it. Four and a half years ago, he came unexpectedly back into my life. We now have a home together, a one-year-old, and we're getting married soon. He's my person. Ha, ha, ha. So many.

So many messages. Thank you so much for sharing, because it's very vulnerable. It's very vulnerable. We've run out of time. George is up next with Friday Jams. We'll catch you back tomorrow with our Bottomless Brunch Show, and Vaughan should be back, I'd say Monday. Nah.

If his throat heals or whatever's wrong with him. The man flu. Yeah, good luck.