ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st May 2023

Episode Date: April 30, 2023

Pear Emoji  Noodle News  Top 6: Jobs for Meghan Markle  Silly Little Poll!  Bad News Brad! August's Poster  Hayley's Anniversary  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchbourne and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show. Fletchbourne and Hayley, it's two minutes past six. What is the remnants of this tropical cyclone currently hitting North Island? What was this one called?

I don't know. Does it have a name? It's me. A lot of rain this morning. A lot of rain, a lot of wind. So much wind. It's hurt at all.

We just got our fireplace reinstalled and they've done something wrong and it goes whistles. And because we're sleeping in the lounge.

It whistles. It whistles. I always remember that as a kid the fireplace would sometimes whistle in the wind. It whistles. It whistles. I always remember that as a kid, the fireplace would sometimes whistle in the wind. This is less whistling and more screaming, help me, help me, I'm caught in the wind.

Yes. Yeah. Could be possessed. Maybe a bit of white sage is all that's needed at your house. Well, I was told that my house was haunted. Yeah. That's just because it's old. It's finally arrived. Not all old houses are haunted.

Some houses are old and happy. No, mine's haunted. Yours is haunted. And's finally arrived. Not all old houses are haunted. Some houses are old and happy. No, mine's haunted. Yours is haunted. And cursed. Yes. We've been told. White sage will fix all. Severe weather warnings still in place this morning.

Heavy rain for the Upper North Island, Northwest, Tasman and Westland. Westland? No, I like to hear you really hit the land. We really hit the land. Westland. And easterly gales for the upper North Island as well. The heavy rain warnings are orange.

Is this when we say the farmers will be happy? Or have I misinterpreted? I don't think anyone's happy with this. Yeah, right. No, the farmers might be happy if it means a bit of rain, but it's still warm. And it tends to be when it's the remnants of a tropical cyclone. Wasn't it a month worth of rain up in Auckland?

Yeah, it was a lot of rain. Weirdly enough, there's parts that need it. Not the ones that are going to get it, though. Not a good week ahead. Looks like it's going to be raining on and off for a lot of the week. Right. Yay! Awesome.

It's so fun. Yay. Cool. Cool. The top six coming up on the show? Yes. Over the weekend, it was said, I mean, all eyes on the King's coronation, and people can't get enough of royal stories at the moment.

So, of course, they've just decided to make some up about Meghan Markle. Are they? Why not? And apparently she's joining the WWF or the WWE. I thought she gave up her acting career. What do you mean acting? That's wrestling. Oh, yes.

Athletic performance. Sorry. Yes, of course it is. Very athletic performance. So I've got of course it is. Very athletic performance. So I've got the top six other imaginary jobs for Meghan Markle. Coming up in the top six. Next, if you've got this particular emoji in your dating profile, it means something.

And this one I didn't know. It's not the eggplant. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. This is so much bigger than I thought it was. It's not the eggplant. This is so much bigger than I thought it was. So there's a two-part experiment going on. It's called the Peer Social Experiment. It is apparently the biggest social experiment in the world.

Okay. Self-proclaimed. Never heard of it. Never heard of it myself. It's not in New Zealand. That's probably why. This has started in the UK. It's in Canada. It's in US, UK, Germany, Canada, Australia.

So part of it is, and people have been noticing this, if you're single on your Instagram or your social media, you put a pear emoji. And everyone's like, what's happening here? All these pears are popping up everywhere. Like a gnash nashi the pear doesn't really the king of peers the night the night green or brown green what's the green one the bosh the more traditional pair okay i would say a nashi

is traditional but you just whatever you grew up with i would no she's a japanese peers are they yes and i'm i think there was a little bit of fruit pushback after World War II, to be honest. Yeah. Where other Pears swooped in to your more traditional allied Pears. Right. Your English Pears, your French Pears, maybe even a little Russian Pear. But then, of course, the Cold War happened. Pears and politics, hand in hand.

I had no idea. Oh, it's a big thing. So people are putting peers on their things, and the peer is an indication that you're single. So this isn't on a dating profile. It's on your social media. Someone might go on and see, like, dog enthusiast, social lover, peer.

And then you know, oh my gosh, they're single. And then everyone's like, why the peer? Yeah, that's a weird one. It's not usually indicative. Out of all the emojis. Of the emojis, I know, of all the fruits. And it's because of this pear social experiment. So it's this website called Pearing, the Pearing,

and they're saying it's not a dating app. And what it is is you have to pay money and you get these rings, little rings that you wear. And then as you walk past people who also have them. It pairs with them. It pairs with them. But what if they're, like, not your type? Yeah, I know.

And this thing. And this thing is, like, faggo. This ring. This ring's going, dee-lee-lee-lee-lee. Yeah, I know. And you're just like, not now, ring. Not now. So you, like, wear them.

They're all over Vogue. Like like Vogue's chatting about it. You wear these rings. You've got to pay for them. And it connects you with people. Oh, they're ugly too. They're like these big plastic turquoise rings. Oh, actually, I have seen, yeah, I've seen people wearing those. You have?

Not out in public, but online I've seen those rings. Yeah, okay. So they say one ring worn by every single person. They're wanting it to go like worldwide. They like that glow-in-the-dark material. They look like that, you know. Silicon-y, kind of rubbery. And then when it goes dark, it goes.

When you see it glow bugs out of and you hold them next to the light in your room and then turn it off and it would glow. Or people that have those glow stars on their ceiling. They just said a small, subtle ring that makes a big statement. That's not subtle. It's turquoise. Subtle would be a sterling silver.

So, yeah, like, it's, like, everywhere. What if you walk past and it goes ding-a-ling and then you look and you're like, ugh, like, do you keep walking? Yeah, I guess so. That's rough. Because there's no app. It's like it would just connect you, I guess. So the idea is you have to make a connection.

Publicly, like, I guess. So the idea is you have to make... A connection....publicly, like in person. In a bar, on a train, at the gym, on vacation, at your friend's wedding, in a restaurant, walking to work. Connect with the world without filters and apps. I mean, I like that they're trying... I'm coupled. I want an emoji that we can all put in our profile. Do you want a ring?

What would your ring be for other Dungeons and Dragons nerds? Oh, that'd be pretty cool. Oh, yeah. And you turn around, roll a D20, roll initiative. They're really going hard with the launch of this. This is not another dating app. It sounds exactly like that's what it is. Hing, Bumble, Tinder, Pear will take it from here.

I like that they're trying something different. Yeah, it is cool. Trying to get that connection That personal connection thing happening I mean it's truly the ugliest ring I've ever seen Yeah Like that's my biggest issue with it Could you wear it as a necklace

Or put it in your pocket Hide it away so it would still beep I mean I guess so It's horrendous Right Like a big rubbery ring Anyway so if you see someone I mean it's in Australia

So no doubt it'll be making its way to our shores. I might put a broccoli. What does that mean? A broccoli. Dunno. Just marry dad with two kids. Yeah, that's what that means. Just broccoli.

Yeah, marry dad, two kids. Don't come near. I'm all good. I'm broccoli. I'm broccoli. I'm broccoli, baby. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. As well, there's noodle news, guys.

Indomie. Indomie. Indomie? Indomie. As well there's noodle news guys Indomie Indomie Indomie Indomie I've always said Indomie Indomie Are you Indomie? Because I'm Indie

I'm Indie I'm Indie I'm Indie I'm into noodles Because do you reckon They are your favourite now over Because back in our school days It was always Maggi

Maggi Terminate Noodles Or as South African How do the South African producer, Jared, Maggie. Maggie, I think. No, that's a name. That's an actress. Yeah, because it's Maggie's gravy.

No, it's Madgie. Maggie gave you her gravy. It's Madgie. You're missing an E. We'll have this argument again another day. These were popular at my high school. Like these were the ones no one was doing a Madgie. Because the Two Minute Noodles was a little bit earlier in the 90s for me.

Yeah, it was. And then into May, I feel like they now are the number one. I don't know what noodles are in our house. I don't eat them. We do a Trident. Oh, yeah, they do a good noodle. You know, I think you might be, yeah. But they do a Two Minute Noodle?

Yeah, they do those in the pot. Like in a little pottle. Oh, noodle Yeah Yeah they do those In the pot Like in a little Pothole Oh no but they do The bricks as well Yeah I think it might be

I think it might Trident Might be trident Well so A bit of a Non-spawn by the way Non-spawn We're not on Big Trident

Well Indonesia's Food regulator I've been on a couple Of Big Tridents Vaughan I've got some Very serious Sorry My high school Was King Neptune Was it I was thrown around I've been in a couple of Big Trident. Vaughan, I've got some very serious... Sorry.

My high school was King Neptune. Was it? I was thrown around the Big Trident. This news broke at the end of last week. Indonesia's food regulator said that a popular product from one of the world's biggest instant noodle brands was safe for consumption in the country. This is despite a recall in Malaysia and in Taiwan's capital

about concerns of a possible carcinogenic... A possum. A possum. You won't know about a possum. A bloody possum jumps out. No, a possible carcinogenic ingredient. Oh. Um, um, um, um, um.

No, you can't put carcinogenics in your food. No. Now, a Taipei City Health Department on Monday recalled the special chicken flavor into me. I can't see that special chicken flavor. It is literally called special chicken. We've got barbecue chicken. Yep. Barbecue chicken.

Barbecue chicken, hot and spicy, goreng satay. Your goreng satay is where it's at. Yeah, that's yum. So it's apparently just in the special chicken flavour. Into me. What's making this chicken special? Is it carcinogens? It's carcinogens.

That's what makes it so delicious. That's what the chicken died of. So this News Hub article says that you can get that flavour in New Zealand, maybe from like parallel importers or like maybe Asian supermarkets. Yeah, like an Asian grocer. Yeah. So maybe just be careful of the special chicken just in the meantime. Oh, well, Asian grocer. Yeah. So maybe just be careful of the special chicken just in the meantime. Oh, well, you know.

Yeah. So apparently in Malaysia they've ordered checks on all the products. That's so yum. How good. You've got to crack a fried egg. You've got to absolutely douse it in chili oil afterwards. Yum. And then put a fried egg on top.

I'm not a noodle guy. No, I don't do it often. They were an after-school snack. After-school snack, yeah. There was always a bag of farm-baked biscuits that needed to be smashed after school. Oh, my God. Absolutely ram a bloody farm-baked half a bag each, me and Sam.

You know how the shrewsberries used to come in? Well, I mean, they still do. They come in a plastic tray that holds a row of shrewsberries and you just be like. They're still top tier for me, shrewsberries. No, rubbish. So dry. What do you mean?

They've literally got a wet middle. Yeah, I know, but the shortbread bit's very dry. Let me tell you, the biscuits that we get, I've absolutely banned them from being purchased. Do you get biscuits? Yeah. I don't buy biscuits. No, so we the biscuits that we get, I've absolutely banned them from being purchased. Do you get biscuits? Yeah. That's so cute. I don't buy biscuits.

No, so we get biscuits for the kids, but then Daddy ends up eating all the biscuits. Daddy ends up. Daddy takes the Daddy tax. Daddy's hungry. Daddy's hitting the Biggie tax. Yeah. And it'll be like a cup of coffee, and I'll get one out, and I'll eat it while I'm making the coffee.

I'm like, well, now I don't have one to eat with the coffee, so I end up eating two biscuits. What is this biscuit? They're big chocolate chip biscuits. Yeah. And they... I don't know the brand. Oh, Vaughan, you can't tease a delicious biscuit experience. I could pick them in a line up, but I just don't know their names. I don't.

I don't think it matters. I feel like if I was going to buy a biscuit... It might be Pam's. It might be Pam's. Oh, really? Okay. Chocolate chip cookies. It's Pam's. Oh, okay. Pam's. It might be Pam's. Oh, really? Okay. Chocolate chip cookies. It's Pam's. Oh, okay. Pam's finest decadent chocolate chip. This is it.

Oh, I know them. I know them. These guys. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Are they good? Dude. Pam's hits, eh? I love Pam's.

$4.59 at that online store. That's a good... $4.29. How many did he get? Pack and serve. They're only half a star, though. What were you hoping? Were you expecting that chocolate chip biscuit was going to be five stars?

It's got chocolate and biscuits, so I thought that would be a star each. At least. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. ZM. I'll be waiting. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Say it. ZM. I'll be waiting. Fletch Vaughn. And Hayley. Say it.

Say it. I don't know how to say this guy's name because for the last three minutes, you've been putting the wrong name into my head. I said to Fletch, I believe it's... It's Keanu Crow. It's Keanu Crow. And I said to Fletch... Irish.

Because he'll always do anything for a drinky purse. I'll buy him some cocktails if he sees that. Cyan Ducrot. Kian Ducro. Ducre. And now you've forgotten how to say his name properly. And then I went to go on here and I was like, I don't know how to say the name.

From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello. So over the weekend, it was thought that Meghan Markle had joined the WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment. She hadn't. She had signed with WME, which is an agency that represents people.

Right. But people read it quickly and they saw a W and then an E and then in the middle an upside down W, otherwise known as an M, and thought that she had joined the WWE. I mean, I'd watch if she was WWE-ing. A long line. She's strong, fit. Amazing female athletes from the WWE.

But WME is who she signed with. But if we're making up imaginary jobs, we've got the top six other imaginary jobs for Meghan Markle. Who won't be at the coronation. No. Still? God, that's the thing. I searched Meghan. I think I just for Meghan Markle. Who won't be at the coronation. No. Still? God, that's the thing. I searched Meghan.

I think I just searched Meghan Markle. I didn't even put news. Yeah. It was all just. Gossip. Oh, yeah. All within the last 10 hours. And it's all just.

Because they put. Stuff that's got nothing to do with her. They were having in the coronation sort of booklet, the program. They had a nice tribute to that side of the family with photos of them and the kids and stuff. And she's not there. No, no. Yeah, well, like, she was in the program.

Like, everyone was like, just trying to make drama out of nothing. Why would you want to go? Yeah. Why would you want to go? Yeah. Even if I was on good terms with them. It's boring. And there's a stone they dragged back down from Scotland 700 years ago

and they bring the stone out for every coronation because they stole it off the Scots and it used to be the coronation stone up there. Give that back. They might like that. It's just a stone. We don't know if it's the real stone. I mean, there's a lot of things that the English should probably give back.

But that is another talk for another time. I've got the jobs, Megan Markle, the imaginary jobs for Megan Markle, number six on the list. She could work for the WWF. I think she'd be a great panda-bassador. Did they change their name? The WWF Wrestling changed their name to WWE. Oh, right, because of the pandas.

Because of the World Wildlife Foundation. Yeah, they were first. Yeah, okay. I think there was some money spent on it. Okay. On that legal battle. Number five on the list of the top six other imaginary jobs for Meghan Markle, she could be Meghan the Stallion.

Oh, yeah. She's already Meghan. Yeah. She could step in as the sort of Meghan the Stallion understudy. Okay. And you'd know if it was Meghan or Meg Han because she's a Meg Han Markle. She'd be Meg Han the Stallion. Yeah, right.

Okay. You'd know who you were getting that night at that show. And other Megan animal news, she could also become Megan Fox. Oh, yeah, true. For a Transformers reboot. Yeah.

She could be in the reboot of Transformers. I'd love to see her talking to a CGI Optimus Prime. Number three on the list, if she wanted to chuck her hat in the ring and get a job at Les Mills, she could be Meghan Trainor. She's all about them squats, about them squats, big booty.

All the trainers at Les, they don't have to have a last name trainer. Yeah, you've got your personal Meghan trainer. Because you know how everybody's surname was originally their job. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, right. The Sprouls loved to Sproul.

They Sprouled all around the place. What is Sprouling? I think we did figure it out. It was something. It was something. That's the new, that's the... Because Fletchers made arrows. Yeah, they did, yeah.

I used to make arrows. Snots made everything. Sproul. Origins of the name Sproul? I think it's habitational. One who walked or moved. Oh, that's right. One who walked or moved in a jerky or convulsive manner.

Oh, jeez. Here comes the Sproul. Hello, everybody. How are we? Yeah, that's right. Jerky and convulsive. Oh, God, you couldn't walk smooth. They were like, everyone's getting names.

What does that person do? Doesn't have a job. I mean, I'm a professional smooth walker as well. I've actually chosen the right sport. It's a redemption tale then. It is. It's a redemption tale. Number two on the list of the top six imaginary jobs for Meghan Markle.

She could become a cruise ship and join the Princess Cruise Liners. Yeah. Even though she's a duchess. Yeah. Yeah. Could be a new branch. Is she the people's princess or did that title die with Diana in the tunnel?

I think it died in the tunnel. Sorry, I feel like I added too much information. It's too soon. Yeah, I know. It's too soon. I'm sorry, Vaughn. I've upset the room. You know Vaughn's a big royalist.

He's so upset. Don't say it. He's really upset the company couldn't take him to the coronation this weekend. I'll say it. It's bullshit. Mike Hosking and Kate Hawkes were there with a raft of people. We can't even go to Wellington. All we want to do is go to Christchurch and eat a nice steak.

We want to go to Christchurch for a steak and Wellington to see the snow leopards. Are we asking too much for it? I think we're asking too much. And number one on the list of the top six other imaginary jobs for Meghan Markle, she should become a lawyer because she was on that TV show. Yeah. Suits, yeah. And so she knows how it all works.

Yeah. Just like people who play doctors on Shorten Street know how to doctor. Kind of halfway there, right? Yeah, well, they know some of the language. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they know how to put a pipe down the throat and stuff. Yeah. That's today's Subsex.

Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. There is an ex-cast member of MAF's... I just whacked the desk. Thank you. We've got the maths bell. That bell serves three purposes.

Anytime we mention maths is one of them. So his name is Nick Furphy. Now it sounds like he's put the wrong letter in front of Murphy. But Nick Furphy is his name.

He was maybe a couple of seasons ago on like one of the most wild seasons yet with like Jessica and all this. It was crazy, crazy. Well, what kind of stuff happened? Pamela, Angela, Sandra and Rita

all got together. As I go through them, you know they're getting sweeter. There was cheating and partner swapping and someone broke someone's heart. It was awful. Anyway, Nick Furphy, he left that with an unsuccessful relationship, left maths, and he became an influencer on Instagram.

What an outcome. He went on a big show, the intended purpose was not fulfilled, but he seems to have got an Instagram following out of it. Wow. Yeah, I know. Who would do such a thing? So he had that and he got invited to events and did some, you know, brand ambassador stuff. Your classic influencer gear.

Yeah. And then last month he got hacked and his 70,000 followers gone. Oh, wow. Did he not have two-factor? This is what people love to hear when they've been hacked. Did you not have two-step factor? Yeah, what people love to hear when they've been hacked. Did you not have two-step factor? Yeah, two-step factor authentication. Well, he mustn't have because he was hacked

and the account was deleted. So all of his people are gone, all of his loyal 70,000 followers. And because of that, he couldn't do his sponsorships. So he was like, I've lost my livelihood. So it costs, there's a company that can retrieve the account, right, and get it back. Really? Is it called Instagram?

They should be setting up for that one. This has actually been a problem a lot of New Zealand businesses have been in the news over the last month or two because they've had their business accounts hacked and they've spent all like thousands of dollars advertising and then when it gets hacked Facebook are just like

impossible to contact. You just cannot get a response. I got a hold of Facebook recently because they wouldn't let me invite people to an event and I was like I don't know why and then yeah it just never responded. I emailed them like four times, like, help me. Anyway. How does this

scam work? Sorry to digress momentarily. I got this message yesterday from someone who had sent me a message before. Sorry to bother you, I'm in a contest for an ambassador spot as an online influencer. Can you help? Can I get a vote from you? Well, then you'd no doubt log in. So I said, for what brand?

And she said, for my new brand. I said, but it's your new brand, but you've got competition to be an ambassador. I said, you've got to get your story straight. You always engage the spammer. It's fun. It's fun. You will receive the entry link shortly. Once you receive the link, don't click on it.

Just screenshot it and send it as a one-time view. What does that even mean? That's not even a thing. And then they kept saying, did you receive the link? Did you receive the link? I said, no. And now the profile's gone, like no profile picture. But it is someone who obviously lost their account

through some sort of similar scam. Well, this guy has started a GoFundMe to pay the $3,000 it'll take to get the account back from this third tier party. A GoFundMe account. And it's like, please help Nick. He's lost his livelihood. Da-da-da-da-da.

And then, like, people are donating, including people from MAPS, like of previous seasons, being like, hey, my dude, I feel you here. Like, this sucks. I also don't think there's a company that can get your account back. Like a third party. That's like another scam, and then he's going to need to do another GoFundMe for that scam that can get your account back. Like a third party. That's like another scam and then he's going to need to do another GoFundMe for that scam that he's just fallen for.

It feels like it because it says like, you know, allegedly this company can get his stuff back to regain the access. Help a reality star in need as he fights to get his Instagram account back from the clutches of evil hackers. Oh, wow. He's trying to make it look like a whole different thing.

It's not cancer, is it? It's not cancer. No, it's not. Imagine what his GoFundMe's going to read if he did get cancer. I know, like you mentioned the homepage and there's everybody's GoFundMes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Help this young child learn to walk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Help this family retrieve their belongings after they lost it all in a fire. Help someone get to Germany for a treatment that isn't available here. Yes, yes. All very, you know, good causes. And help Nick Furphy. Help him to spell his name correctly. It's Murphy now. Play.

ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley. ASMR. I don't sit down and watch the ASMR videos, but you know every now and then you'll meet someone with a voice and when they start talking you kind of feel a little bit light? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, this lady was giving me an x-ray and she had a voice like that. I love that.

And she was just like, okay, just put that. And I was just like, oh. Oh, yeah, the soft voices. I hate it. Just a soft caring. Speak up. How do you get through life like that? No, it's not a mousy voice. No, no, the soft voices. I hate it. Just a soft caring. Speak up. How do you get through life like that? No, it's not a mousy voice.

No, no, no, no. It's not a mousy voice. It's just something about the voice that puts you at ease, puts you at ultimate ease. I'm just thinking about the ASMR on social media. I hate it. People are like, can I have a bit of it?

Yeah. And they, like, tap the mic and stuff, and they're like, that's too intimate. Maybe you need a bit of ASMR to help you sleep. Yeah, I know. I like, I'm a brown noise because the ASMR makes me too like. Oh yeah, people are doing that and they're all up close. I watched the ASMR, but it was just a guy who did pottery

and he'd edited it out from a video of his, edited out any talking he did and it was just the noises of pottery. It was like, oh, that's quite really interesting, from a video of his any talking he did and it was just the noises of pottery. Yeah. It was like, oh, that's quite really interesting but also just that whoosh

of the wheels starting to go and then like like a soft I know what white noise is but what's brown noise? Oh my God, brown noise is the best. Is there pink noise?

Would I like pink noise? You'd like brown noise. Brown noise is like deeper and dirtier whereas white noise is like like, okay. Brown noise is like white, brown, pink noise. Brown noise is like deeper and dirtier. Whereas white noise is like Like, okay. Brown noise is like White, brown, pink noise. What's the difference? Green is, Shannon like pyjamas

at the social media is saying green noise Green noise. Oh, like the forest sounds. No, no, I can't have recognisable It just needs to be noise. White noise is broadly set across the sound spectrum including low frequency, mid-range and high frequency sounds. It can be compared to the sound of a waterfall with-frequency, mid-range, and high-frequency sounds. It can be compared to the sound of a waterfall

with water falling at different speeds and hitting different surfaces. Oh, lovely. Pink noise is louder at the low-frequency end of the spectrum and softer at the high end. The sound of light to medium rainfall is an example of real-world pink noise, and pink noise is on the electrofan in the middle of the noises. I love rain on the roof. Brown noise is even deeper and stronger at the low end without the high-frequency sounds of the white. I love rain on the roof. Brown noise is even deeper and

stronger at the low end without the high frequency sounds of the white and the pink noise. It can be similar to a hard, gentle surf that comes with a storm. Or sometimes like being on a plane. That hum. Do you know what's the worst thing about it? Because I listen to it every night. When I get in my car, my phone

connects to the car and I like back out of the driveway and just like comes over in my car. What do I hit? I'm like, ah! I'm deep in gravel. Yeah. So ASMR, do you like it? Yes, 24%.

76%, not for me. So I just Googled it's pink noise inside a plane. Oh, okay. Straight little pink. Yeah. Maybe I'll try the pink. I dabble in the pink. Get'll try the pink. A little bit of dabble in the pink? Yeah. A dabble in the pink.

Get away from the brown for a moment. Dabble in the pink. Described here as white noise's low-pitched cousin. Right. Right. So I won't do white noise, but plain for me, I like something exotic. Something a little closer to the equator. Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

You know me. You like a bit of Mexican noise. Ayaza. I love Latino noise. Della says, far too overstimulating for me. Nothing relaxing about ASMR. That's true. I can understand.

Because that's the thing. Yeah. Yeah. What were the poll results again? Well, you were too busy thinking about Latino noise, so I will go back to those for you. Do you like ASMR? Yes, 24%, 76%, an overwhelming

three quarters saying it's not for me. Considering it's so huge online and people do listen to noise when they go to sleep, I thought it would have been more. I don't think many people would consider brown, pink, white, the Neapolitan ice cream of noises to be ASMR. No. ASMR's the people for them. Yeah.

That sort of nonsense. Hi there. How are you going today? I'm just going to... I'm just going to touch your... Oh, yeah. Touch your little ears. Hayley says pressure washing and car cleaning videos

and the lawnmower ones, but that's different altogether. That's visually... That's visually stimulating. Yeah. That's a visual ASMR. Yeah. When you watch a time lapse of someone water blasting...

Oh, are you going to time lapse your deck cleaning again this summer? I probably will. I love that. People do like it. I love watching that. You should do your rug too. Like a rug clean. Do a rug clean.

Yeah. We don't have a rug. I thought you had a rug. We don't have that big rattan thing, but the water blaster would blow that to pieces. It would, it would. Yeah, I stepped on it funny once and it was like, oh no, open. You stupid rat hand. M says,

it helps me go to sleep. So that might be more on the noise spectrum. Hannah, ASMR is akin to people chewing their food as if it's cut in the house.

I have ADHD and detest any sort of ASMR. Oh, okay. Yeah. Ash, as someone who listens to True Crime to Sleep, the thought of ASMR is like nails on chalkboard. No thanks. Ash likes going to sleep to death. I'm moiter.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Nothing delights me more than opening up my Instagram DMs and seeing some beautiful messages. A lot from our listeners. And at the moment, predominantly Momoa sightings. Well, he's in the country. Jason Momoa's here and he has been

hanging out. He's just been around. People see him just at the beach or out for a walk. At a cafe. At Unkaf. Has he been riding a motorcycle? Helmet free. What are the police doing about it? That's wild. Well, would you ticket him?

Straight to my bed prison. Dude, that's you. The usually articulate Sproul falls to pieces. I cannot meet this man. So for those that don't know, you've actually got, like, he's a pass card. I think everybody knows. Everybody card. I think everybody knows. I think everybody knows three things about Hayley Sproul. I've been pretty cool recently.

Barley, Audi, Mamor. I talk about three things. The Bam. The Bam. Sproul Bam. Yes. So, but recently he got interviewed for Good Health magazine, or Men's Health magazine, I think.

And they came to New Zealand and like filmed him in this shed where not only was I interested but Vaughan you something Dude there's a Landrover

I think we're all interested we were all interested because I like the workout You're a fitness buff There's a Landrover that looks I just can't quite see the front grill on it

but I think it's a series 2A it's a short wheelbase he's taken the roof off and the windscreen's folded down and that's what I want to do with, not the Land Rover I have, but get another one to do that. This is genuinely a video made for the three of us. Fitness memoir in Land Rovers.

Yeah. Well, I don't think it's his Land Rover. He's just in someone's garage. No, I know that. I want to know whose it is. He's just in someone's garage. But he opens the door and he's literally like schlong out. You don't see it because they put a little sticker over it.

Well, not a little sticker, massive sticker. And they interview him and he's doing a workout and he's looking all hot. Anyway, it actually reminded me because everyone... Dude, there's a wheelie bin in the background.

If you could see what the number said on the wheelie bin, we're a step closer. I'm pretty sure he's out our way. Yeah, yeah. We're already a step closer.

So you've been sent this a lot over the weekend. I've been seeing it so much and I really appreciate it. Every time people send me more content or, like, any time our listeners spot him, they'll message me, be like, Hayley, just saw him. He must be about to leave.

I drove past the QMU film set. You said it was all packed up. Yeah, great. He's got to go because it's just, I'm just on edge all the time. We can't meet. I just wouldn't be cool. I wouldn't hold it together. But I had a dream. I had a dream that I wouldn't hold it together but I had a dream

I had a dream that we met over the weekend I had a dream I forgot to text you guys and we met in a work context like we were all there

and I was really excited I got all glammed up and I looked so hot and then I thought I was going to be all giddy and stuff but then we connected on a really like

cool level because I forget that I'm also very cool and I'm part Hawaiian 1% and and we hung out we're having lots of laughs and stuff and then like we were like hanging around all of us together like just chatting and stuff and I like lent my head on his shoulder and he was like down with it it was okay it was like this between me and Jason you have a problem

Yeah I know And that's why we cannot meet But what would happen If you did meet I'd want to be so I'd want to be fully prepared But this is the thing Is he's so cool

And like I think I'm a cool person So I would want to be able To just be cool But there's no way You'd just melt You'd just be a blubbering Yeah I would just like be a

So we can't We just can't He can never know how cool I am And that's a shame Because we were actually allowed to make love If he wanted to make love with me I'm allowed to Oh my god

Okay great Well he'd love to let me nestle into his beautiful big shoulder Right Okay this is a big half round barn I'm looking more at the shed Like a hanger It is like a, this is a big half round barn. I'm looking more at the shed. Like a hangar. It is like a hangar. It's a big half round with a square up the side.

It's getting into stalker. The Land Rover did not get enough screen time. It's getting into stalker territory. Yeah, it really is. He's got to go. Next in the show, from one Hollywood sex symbol to a financial sex symbol.

I don't know how uncomfortable that's made him. Can you just check over my shoulder? How did that make him feel? He's kind of going like, what the hell? He is loving a financial sex symbol. A financial sex symbol. Bad news, Brad is in. He might have some good news.

I don't think he's had good news yet. Don't bank on it. But he might. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We're joined in studio by Brad Olsen for a chat about tax. Our bad news, Brad. I don't think we've talked about tax. Too much to you, have we?

Does anyone talk about tax all that much? Apart from like, oh gosh, I've got to pay it? Let's talk about tax, baby. I forget your official title. Principal Senior Economist. No, he's a step up now. He's a big dog. Senior Principal CEO Economist of the People.

Chief Financial Officer. Chief. Big dog. Chief Executive and Principal Economist. But you know, you guys were so close. So close. So close. Now, taxes in the news.

Why is tax in the news? Taxes in the news because the finance, well, the Revenue Minister rather, asked IRD last year and said, look, what do people at the top end actually pay in tax? What do those figures look like? Because the surveys that we use, they don't sample the richest top 0.1% very well at all.

So IRD got some new powers. They went away, did a big study. It's like 120 pages. I've got a copy of it in my hotel room. It's going to be a great doorstop. Great reading. It's going to be some sexy nighttime reading. Fascinating. It's going to be some sexy night time reading. Fascinating.

Look, anyone who thought they did something cool last Wednesday, I bet it wasn't as cool as me reading 600 pages of tax reports. Yeah. But what it found was that those on the highest incomes pay a relatively smaller proportion of their overall possible economic income. So on average, the average Kiwi pays about 20% of their economic income on tax. So that's what happens when you take all of their possible income, not only their wages, but also anything else they might earn over the year. You add in the GST that they pay,

and then you take away any money they might get from the government with like a benefit or similar, about 20%. The top 311 people that they sampled in the country pay roughly sort of 9% to 11% to 12%, depending on the number you want to choose. Now, a little bit of a caveat there. Some of that is on what we call unrealised gains. So a lot of that possible economic income for those top groups is stuff that isn't currently taxed. Only 7% of the highest income group actually has taxable income, and like PAYE, like you guys, you and I are getting when we get paid by our companies.

So 93% of it is not currently taxed. It's stuff like capital gains on business investments, on their portfolio, stock investments, and on their houses. And that's probably the big one, is that a little bit of the issue with those numbers is that you don't sell your house every year. So you don't make that money in cash money every year.

That's not like taxable income that you can pay because it's paper gains. But there is a fair amount of that that is capitalised. So you saw, and I think 2018 it was, there was like over a billion dollars worth of capital gains that these guys got just from selling property, for example. None of that was taxed because they'd passed the bright line test of owning it for more than five years. Correct. Well, and probably they bought it before that had come in as well. Yeah, sure.

So a lot of it, no, they weren't taxed on either and they probably never will be in the current settings. I'm always fascinated by people who will never be in the top, how many, did you say 300 people? 311. So the top 311 people seem to have a lot of people batting for them on the dreams that one day they will be the top 311 people. Yes.

And that kind of blows my mind. How did the average Joe who works hard and benefits from a system where tax pays for things like, not at the moment, but it could pay for dental care for everybody. Or like, you know, ACC, which I know is its own tax sort of situation. But how did the 311 people convince the people who will never earn that amount of money to be anti it? Look, I think tax is a dumb conversation in New Zealand.

Like, we don't have a very mature conversation about it because all that happens is someone, and look, if I said to you, do you want to pay more tax? Most people generally go, if it's between more tax or not paying more tax, then I don't want to pay more tax. Yeah, they want money in the pocket. Correct.

If you said to them, if you flipped that around and said, would you like to pay nurses more? I don't think you'd find many people would be like, no. I think they're worth less than that. And so I think the difference is when it comes to tax, we often talk about it also very much from a pure income point of view. Like when we think of tax, we think of the PAYE that we pay, you know, the first 10.5% on the first $14,000.

We don't think about the other taxes. We don't think much about GST, for example, 15% on basically every single thing you buy. We don't think of the other taxes. We don't think much about GST, for example, 15% on basically every single thing you buy. We don't think of those possible capital gains. Now, here's some interesting numbers. If you looked in 2018 at the top 10% of New Zealand, so excluding these 310, but still the top 10%, you saw that that group earned around $50,000 when their house appreciated and valued that there. Yeah. The top 311 saw a capital gain of $818,000.

Yeah. Wow. So $50,000 versus $818,000 in one year. Yeah. And so the thing there is that, remember all of this, that the idea of capital gains taxes, whatever, is only on profit.

It's only on the additional money. So if you buy a house, let's just say for $500,000 and then five years later you sell it for $600,000, you don't pay tax on $600,000, you pay tax on the $100,000 extra that you got over that time period. That would be the idea that comes through. And I think the worry there is that at the moment, if you toss up between, do I buy a house and let it raise in value, or do I work 10 hours more, then you'll get penalised way more for working 10 hours more than you will for a house. My idea there would be that if you get income, it should generally be taxed.

And here's the thing. If you had something, if you looked at these numbers and went, look, that sounds a bit cooked, 20% average versus 10% or so for this high-income group doesn't sound great. What you could then do is you don't necessarily need to say, well, we'll whack the richest and only whack them. What you could well do is how do you get those numbers maybe to 15-15? How do you raise what the incomes that you have to, the sort of tax you have to pay on the highest group is,

and also cut it for middle to low-income New Zealanders? That's the sort of tax switch that I think could be a lot more effective. And eat those 300. And we'll eat them. Yeah, they'll be nice and soft. Because I was really surprised yesterday because I've been following this a bit. I think Chloe Swarbrick was sharing some stuff because I didn't realise how the tax codes jumped so far.

Like there was the kind of low amount and it goes out like 17, 20%. And then when like the bracket that it jumps into like the 39 or 33 feels like it involves two bigger group. Like you're talking about people that earn $70,000 paying the same amount of tax as someone that earns $180,000. It just, that doesn't feel right to me. Well, more to the point, if you earn the minimum wage at the moment, you're basically, you're, I think, half an hour away from starting to pay the 30% tax bracket on the minimum wage.

That's because we haven't moved them in, what, 12 years now? Because I'm going, like, I agree with taxing some people more, but some people, I'm like, don't, should be taxed less. It just seems like that bracket just suddenly became so vast. Well, we haven't changed them for so long. Like back in the day, 70K back in 2010, if you think about it, that was a lot of money. At the moment, that's not given where inflation and everything else has gone, how much more you're paying. So I think

we've calculated before, like you could raise the tax brackets as they are by sort of 10, maybe $15,000 generally, given how much inflation has crept up over the last few years. All of that means as well is that because you've got people that are trapped in those lower income tax brackets that are now starting to spill over into the higher income tax brackets, the government's making a lot more cash off you, taking more in taxes for doing absolutely no work. Like you're just getting paid more because you've got a higher cost of living and it's been 10 years since they were adjusted. That fiscal drag is a big one for the government coffers,

but realistically is the sort of thing that you should inflation index. We shouldn't be paying the same tax rates as 10 years ago. The world has moved on. Why haven't we? And I also think, because I've got a lot of my friends are freelancers and they'll just make sure they don't go over.

Yeah. And then you're going, so now you're cutting yourself short of maybe getting further along in your career or taking other jobs because you don't want to hop into that much higher tax bracket. But this is the thing that worries me a lot is when we're thinking of the likes of income tax and this,

people spend days thinking about this, you know, how do I sort of manoeuvre myself? Yet it's like if you've got a house, like go hard house, you make some cash and do nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go girl. You go girl.

Yeah. You go Glen Coco. Right. Depressed yet? Well, it just seems a bit like antiquated. Like as you say, it hasn't kept up. How have we ignored it? Because the thing, and this is I think the most challenging thing.

It's politics. It's politics. It's politics. No one wants to have a mature conversation. As soon as one group comes out and says we want to do this, the other side's like absolutely not, wouldn't have a bar of it going nowhere near. We can't have a mature conversation about it. Like put it this way, last time we talked about a capital gains tax, the then Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern ruled it out.

She said while I'm PM it is not happening. Remember that was a 15% capital gains. Now, you think of that Brightline test that we were mentioning before, that's a 39% capital gain if you hit that Brightline test. So we quibbled and marched in the streets and similar about 15%, but we're totally cool with 39.

That's cooked. Yeah. Because I didn't really understand because I've sold a house under the Brightline and I was like, why do you want all this money from us? I was like, no, no, no, I was so happy. You know, my house made this money, and I was like, woohoo.

And then I thought, I was like, there isn't any capital gains tax. And like, you know, once you learn about it. Short term, right? Short term, because I didn't own it for long enough, and I profited greatly from it. So rightfully so, I paid a hell of a lot of tax for it. Important there as well, you also got to keep two thirds of that additional money.

Like you didn't lose it all. I think that's the worry that I have when I hear people talk about, oh, capital gains tax, you know, it's going to take so much money. It's like you still get two thirds of it. Oh yeah, and the house just sat there and did it pretty much on its own, to be fair.

Yeah, yeah. And the market did it for me. But it's the sort of thing where I sort of go like, you know, when we think about income tax, for example, like I think of, you know, the amount of tax that all of us would be having to pay around the table. We look at that and it's the sort of thing where I sort of go like, you know, when we think about income tax for example, like I think of, you know, the amount of tax that all of us would be having to pay around the table. We look at that and it's like, okay, I can understand that. I'm working more, I contribute in.

It's like, why does the house that's not contributing to anything but making some big serious coin not get to contribute to society? Literally, you could be renting to somebody who's taking care of any cost that has and letting it go mouldy and horrible because they're too scared to put their hand up because the cost of rent's gone up so much.

So what do you think is going to happen as we go towards the election now? I hope Denmark invades. I reckon if the Scandies got together, they could take us. And then we might finally get an Ikea. Oh, we'll get lots of hot people and lots of Ikea. We've got so many fjords too,

they would love it. Yeah, they'd love it here. I was going to say, if they've got the hot people though, what are we putting on the table? Are we not hot enough? Nah. Come on, Brad.

Come on, Brad. I thought this was the financial sexy international gospel. Yeah, you are, but not the rest of us. Thank you. So for the election, is this going to be like

a bit of a fighting tool, a weapon in the battle for government? I think this will become a political football, a weapon in the battle for government? I think this will become a political football, which isn't actually the best thing. I don't think we're going to have another mature conversation about it. It's probably going to be, you know, one side lobs bombs and the others sort of lob back.

But what we probably should have is a bit more of a conversation over, OK, what's the straw man here? What's the idea so that we could have a tax switch, i.e. how much money could these sort of tax ideas raise? Let's say ballpark, they could raise $2 billion. Could you then use a billion of that to provide some tax relief to the low and middle income New Zealanders so they don't have to pay quite as much on their PAYE?

Well, that makes too much sense, Brad. Horrible, isn't it? It makes too much sense. Can I vote for you? You want to look after people, Brad? I'm sorry, Brad. I'm sorry. You want to share the wealth and help other people?

No, no, no. Crazy. Brad Olsen, as always, a shock and a pleasure to have you. More great news. Thank you. More great news. Here's something for you to ponder on. It's a relationship test. You can do this just within yourself.

And this is for people that may be questioning, you know, is this the one for me? Is this the one I see for the rest of my days? Particularly maybe your family's not a huge fan, your friends aren't a huge fan. Can't relate. Aaron gets on with my family. You get on with Aaron's family.

We're good. No, I'm just saying we're good no no one no I'm just saying we're good we're solid we're solid I don't now you're getting aggressive

and it feels like you're trying to convince yourself I just feel like you're attacking my relationship no one's attacked the moral fiber of my relationship we know

we believe we believe in you this is known as the fire pit test it will shed light on whether or not your relationship has long term potential

if they can light a fire. Do you need a fire pit for this test? No, it's in your brain. Oh, okay. It's a mental one. Will they switch seats with you if the wind changes and all of a sudden all the smoke's getting blown in your face? Will they take the smoke for you?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And the hot embers. Marry that one. You have to picture yourself sitting around a bonfire with your best and closest people 10 years from now. I'm snatched. I've got a little bit of work done.

Yeah. Well, you've got to imagine. Wait, what work have you had done? Just like a little like, just like a little up, up. No, but wait, we know, because we're sitting there, but we know you've had the work done. You haven't told us, but you just have this shine. It's like, yeah, the skin is like.

Yeah. Yeah. And Vaughn's probably. And you're like, I look like I did in my 20s. I'm like, yeah, but you forgot we saw you last week when you were in your 30s or 40s. Like, no, I've just had a good night's sleep finally. Yeah, gotcha.

And my boobs, I won't get implants, but they'll be up. Right. Just a little lift. Just a little like. An augmentation. Yeah. Yeah. You might as well get a little bit get a little left you know someone oh you're in well i mean well just pop a little smally in well if they're going up they might as well go out yeah yeah yeah so how easy it was to sell her on there yeah i'm not even a plastic surgeon holy moly i just spent

so much more money than i wanted to yeah well i gotta pay for this boat somehow okay so we're sitting around sitting around your closest people are there in 10 years' time. Is your current partner there and will they fit? So that's a test of your relationship. Are you relaxed with your friends or someone who maybe makes you a bit embarrassed to be there? Do you not want them to be there? Are you feeling a bit anxious about sitting around this fire pit in 10 years with your closest people and your partner? And that's it.

So you ask this question, what, when you've just started seeing them? You can ask it as early or as late as you like. Because for someone like you, you've been in this relationship for a long time. He'd already be sitting around the fire pit. He's been sat at the pit. He's been sat at the pit. Yeah, yeah. He's been in the pit. He's nearly dust. He's nearly scorched and burned. Yeah, yeah.

He's been blowing away in the wind. Yeah, I mean, of course Aaron's at the pit. He's my family. It's sort of a strange thing. So far down the track, everybody's would be different. But then you're like, okay, so we're sitting around with my friends. Do they have kids? Do we have kids?

What's the situation? Whose fire pit are we at? Where are we living? And then I guess the trains are a whole picture. Is there a fire warning in the area? Because I'm a responsible person. Yeah. It's 10 years time.

I'm assuming this is in winter. A nice, dry winter's night after a week of rain where there's absolutely no risk of a spark setting ablaze an uncontrollable bushfire. God, we care about

the bush, don't we? We really do. We care about fire restrictions. We're certainly big fans of fire restrictions. I imagine this would be done quite early on. Yeah.

Because you're going to go, you want to go like maybe a month or so in and you're going, he's not quite clicking in with my life. I think they need to have met the friends. Yeah. And then you want to go like maybe a month or so in and you're going, he's not quite clicking in with my life. I think they need to have met the friends. Yeah.

And then you need to have kind of judged that situation and then you put them all in the one place. You put a bit of time under your belt. Yeah. Yeah. We all know people though that have gone on and married these people that their friends don't like.

Because they didn't do the fire pit test. They didn't do the fire pit test. Well, apparently during this test, you've got several criteria that you should be thinking of. Your partner wants to meet your friends. Your partner shares your values. After 10 years,

they're like, nah, I'm not ready to meet your friends. Yeah, that's not happening. Your partner manages their frustrations, especially anger. That's not fair. Some people are just angrier. But the smoke's just blown in his face

and he's had a long, hard week at work. Also, I've got a short fuse. Your partner and your friends are chill around each other. You can be yourself at this joint gathering with your partner there and you like your partner's friends as well. I don't think you have to like your partner's friends. You're not in a relationship with your friends.

Well, it makes it easier, though, doesn't it? It makes it way easier. Oh, it does. Yeah, it does, but love's love, you know. You can't stop. You can't fight love. Or the moonlight. Or the fact that the fire pit just blew a spark into a pile of dry punga.

And we have got a situation on our hands. Get the hose. Next on the show. How long has it been since you've talked to your neighbours? Interesting to... Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Interesting to A study of 2000 UK based adults Has said that the average person Hasn't spoken to their neighbours in three weeks

Wow Hasn't spoken to their neighbour in three weeks Well or a building Or an elevator Or a wall I mean I'll accidentally run into my neighbours Every now and again Or a fence. Yeah. Well, or a building or an elevator. Or a wall. Or a wall. Yeah. I mean, I'll accidentally run into my neighbours every now and again and have to say hello. Yeah.

But I hardly see them. Have to say hello. Like, I'll see people in the building all the time and be like, You're like a little Warren because of your apartment. Yeah. You sort of all peel off to your own little section. But there's only the one stairwell, right? Yes.

I think you cross paths with more people in the stairwell. Yeah, you do see the same people every now and again. But it'd be very easy for me to go home and I'd get up to my apartment and not see a person. And same. 5% of people can't even remember the last time they spoke to their neighbours face to face. You want to know your neighbours' names though, right?

Nah, not the people next door, nah. Because they've moved in like a year ago and I've seen them twice. They moved in, I was going to say a couple of weeks ago. They've been there for a year. Yeah, they've been there, I think it lasts only five years or so. A good slice of time. But you haven't, you don't know their names and you haven't spoken to them face to face. No.

We've given our neighbours a key to our house. What? Yeah. Oh, big move. We love them. We hang out with them all the time. I think you're like six months away from swinging with them. Well, now you've made it awkward.

Oh, God. That was going to come up naturally, but now you've sort of like brought it up. I told you that in private. Yeah, no, we love our neighbours. What do they need a key for? Just if we ever got stuck out or something and they had to go and feed Rolly or go and check on the house or something. Hello, the fake hollow brick with the bong.

Well, now you've given that away as well. What are you doing? You don't have a fake hollow brick. It's a rock. Yeah, that's what I mean. And the brick's just in the garden. No, but a terracotta, fake terracotta brick, no one does those.

If you had a retaining wall with a brick and one of the top bricks was a fake brick. Yeah, that'd be good. Great spot for the spear key. That would actually be a great phone-in topic. Where do you hide your spare key?

Yeah. Because some people, it's just under the mat or the pot plant. It's not even hard. Oh my God. Or in the mailbox is hilarious.

Every like post person will be like, oh my God, there's a freaking key. You idiots. Some friends of ours were looking after their cat once

and their spare key was under this little like statuette. Was it in the cat? No, it was around the cat's neck. It was on the cat's collar. You had to catch the cat. It was a pain in the ass to take off,

so you just put the key in and twisted the whole cat. They had a little statuette at their back door, but their key had the key ring on it, so the whole statuette was on the piss. Oh, I love that. And so when we looked it up, I took the ring off so it would sit flat, and when they got home, they were like, where's the spare key? I was like, it's in exactly the same spot.

They're like, but the statue's not on a lean anymore. I was like, yes, because that was a big hello, I'm under here, in an already very obvious spot to hide your spare key. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Do you talk to your neighbours, Vaughan? One, two, three of them, yeah, but there's four. Yeah, right.

Four. Oh, I wouldn't call it talking. But there's certainly an interaction. There's an interaction. You don't go. Friday night there was a five to six minute interaction. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It was fun. Yeah, great fun. Not at all. Not at all horrible. But it's amazing, though, that people can live next door to neighbours and not even see them. Growing up in rural New Zealand, there was, like, Neighbourhood Watch. And you'd hear everybody's number.

And, you know, so-and-so would ring you and be like, I've just seen a suspicious car coming your way. And then you'd watch it go past our place. And then you'd see it go Station Road. So dad would hang up. Get out the shotgun. Yeah, well, too far out of shotgun range by then. Oh, right.

They'd be out of shotgun range, but he was heading towards the roaches. So be on the phone to the roaches. They'd get out the 22. Suspicious in there. Exactly. Snipe them. Now ask questions later.

It was so cool when you were a kid and you lived next to kids as well. And then you'd say, I guess we're friends now. Meet you halfway on the bike. Exactly. You had no choice either. You were like, I guess we're friends now. Meet you halfway on the bike. But exactly, you had no choice either. You were like, I guess we're friends. We're mates.

But do you think it's because we've become more like antisocial that we're not talking to our neighbours? And we can get our socialising elsewhere, right? Yeah. Lockdown was fucked though. You can get online and you can pick people. Yeah, you're kind of talking over the face of people. Everyone had little driveway parties.

And then you see, like, as horrible as Cyclone Gabriel was for Hawke's Bay, you saw communities come together and, you know, maybe people didn't know each other who lived down the road, but when you save somebody from that sort of thing or help them with the cleanup, that's a real community bonding. It's a shame that it takes such a disaster for that to happen. I want to know if there's anyone listening now that has gone a long time without speaking to their neighbour.

Maybe they've never spoken to them. 5% of people on the survey, yeah, as I said, could not remember the last time they spoke to their neighbour. Like maybe it's a neighbour that just scurries out in the darkness. Oh, yeah, secret neighbour. Secret neighbour. You never see them. Is there anybody listening now that has a neighbour

that they've hardly ever seen? Can you go, is there anyone that's gone on more than a year without speaking to their neighbour? Maybe you're actively not speaking to them. Maybe you had beef. Maybe you don't even know them. You don't even know what they look like. But you just see peeping eyes through the curtain.

Some people like that, though. Some people are like that. Some people are totally just private. Okay, we want to take calls. 0800 dials at MSN number. You can text as well, 9696. How long has it been since you talked to your neighbour maybe never

what's the record yeah a new stat out from a study that one in 20 people can't remember the last time

they talked to their neighbour face to face and the average adult three weeks you can't I've always loved the idea of having neighbours over the fence

you could borrow a spoonful of sugar from, you know? It's the Kiwi dream. Harry, when was the last time you spoke to your neighbours? It's not my neighbours, but actually the flat that I live with. So I've been there for four months and I think I've seen one of them. Wait a minute, so these are your direct neighbours? Your wall neighbours.

Your kitchen friends. Yeah, people who share the same door key as me. Haven't seen them. How many people do you live with? There's three others. Three others. Do you work unusual hours or do they work unusual hours? Nah.

See, these are the best kind of flatmates. I've lived in a flat with these flatmates you don't see. Like strangers. It's the best. Yeah, they're never on a mission. I just get concerned, though, because I get a text every week asking for rent, so I'm hoping I'm paying for the right person. I mean, you'll soon find out, mate.

You may be on the most elaborate prank show ever made. Yeah. This is true. John would be written all over it, actually. Doesn't it? Thanks, Harry. We'll go to Anonymous. Anonymous, how long did you go without talking to your neighbours?

We went three and a half years. Wow. Did you have a falling out? We had not one single conversation ever. We would try, when we first moved there, we would, like, you know, say, hey, how's it going? And it got to the point where they ignored us so many times that we just stopped trying.

Oh, I see. That would make me want to try more. I'd take over baking. I'd take over cookies. I'd take over muffins. Well, they didn't want a bar of you. Are you an awful person? No, they hated us.

Well, we were renters, and they didn't like renters, and we had children. I'm hearing party. I'm hearing party. No, she said children, so. Oh, okay. There's party.ters, and we have children. I'm hearing party. I'm hearing party. No, she said children. Oh, okay. There's party. More screaming.

You know, we like socialising, but we do have children, and so there's a lot of, like, you know, family noise, and it's a very, like, you know, like built-up area where there's not a lot of space between the neighbours. But also, you've got to remember, your neighbours were never children. So, of course, they never made that noise. So they are right to be angry at the sounds of happy children. They were always grumpy old people.

Yeah. If you can beat that, how long have you gone without speaking to your neighbours? I don't know. The longest you've gone without talking to your neighbours. There's some insane stories. And it's like, just... I've lived in a man place for 15 years, been waved at once.

But are they making an effort back? I don't know if there's an effort back. There's a wavy. Wow. I put a wavy cat in the window, so anytime they look, there was a little wave. Jamie, how long have you gone not talking to the neighbours? It's been two and a half years. Do you just never see them?

So it's a bit of a funny backstory. We're dairy farmers. Yeah. And we actually, two and a half years ago, went for an interview on that farm and turned them down just because of the way that they run the farm and where they were located was just too far out. Right.

So we're like, nah, it's just too far. It's not what we're after. They're like, see, that's all good, not a problem. And then two weeks later, we went for an interview at the farm that we're at now, which just happened to be their neighbour. So they were too far. So this farm that you're on that is literally next door that. So they were too far. So this farm that you're on that is literally next door that is apparently now not too far,

what is it closer to? Well, it's just a bit of farm. And so you're hiding from them? Pretty much, yeah. Oh, my God. I love that. Farmers, you've got to have a bit of rural support there. You've got to get out with your neighbours,

share your problems, share your joys. It's been two and a half years. Maybe they've forgotten what you look like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you need blonde or something? Wear glasses and a moustache when you have a chat. Yeah. Thanks, you're cool, Jamie.

Richard, how long have you gone not talking to your neighbours? Well, I was just thinking about it. South side neighbours, we've had 15 years and six years. So the two down there, the 15 years we knew the previous tenants, these guys moved in. We tried the, hey, how you going? They tend to be more night hour party people. The neighbours next to them were five, six years

because they said we were flooding the backyard and we were like, no, no, it's groundwater. And they had a few less as it came across. And then when it was groundwater, we never talked again. But the ironic thing is, this weekend, my north-western, sorry, north-east and west people, I spent all weekend with one neighbour

building his bathroom. The other neighbour came over so we could programme his phone. The other neighbour came over so I could pick his lawnmower. And the kids play with each other. That's community. We visit each other's house.

Oh, yeah. We're really multicultural. Well, the south-west neighbours and the north play with each other. That's community. We have dinners at each other's house. Oh, yeah. We're really multicultural. Well, the southwest neighbours and the northeast neighbours really sound like they're missing out. Yeah, they are. Oh, mate, we have hand signals. It's like cats, you know. We pass the west neighbours, and we just kind of look at each other,

and it's like, are you going to wave? No, are you going to wave? Do you hiss at them? Like a Westside story. Yeah, yeah. Amazing, Richard. Thank you. Message is in to finish.

Three and a half years and not one word from the grumpy old neighbour next door but they'll happily tell all the other neighbours how much they hate us. We lived in our house

for six years and had neighbours on both sides and we've probably seen them four times tops. Wow. Yeah. Hermits.

Totally. Been in our house for just over a year and never speak to the neighbours, except once when their kid fell off his scooter in my driveway and ripped his toenail off. Oh, ow, ow, ow. They said, thank you for consoling.

I always said, stay out of my driveway. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. Good news. I saw Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 3 on Friday. Put me in a great mood. And then I needed to go and pick up my phone oh my gosh

finally I finally got my phone back I feel like that's a tale for another day that's a tale for another time my friends we've got questions where we have about

in fact it could be a 10 part podcast series where it could be the Q&A we could do a long form Q&A yeah as a podcast release that would be great I could do a long-form Q&A. Yeah. As a podcast release. That would be great. Have you Google reviewed that business?

Not yet. I look forward to it. Can I ask one question? Ask one question. Did you get an apology? No, no apology. How long did it take for them to replace your faulty phone? Well, you'll remember that the faulty phone had water damage

and the floods that happened in February. Yes. So May. And a waterproof phone. You might be thinking, Vaughan, water damage, that won't be covered. A waterproof phone getting water damage without deep submersion. I'll leave it at that for now. I'll leave it at that for now.

Tune into the 10-part podcast. I've never seen Vaughan so wild in his life. Months, but it was just the hours I spent on the phone. Yeah, I know. Of course. We'll delve into that again another time. We'll touch base on that another time. But anyway, I got my phone and I was like, yippee, skippy,

and I was walking past EB Games, and that's one of those shops I can never go past. I always have to nip in. Oh, my God, same. To see if they've got... You have big EB Games energy. Yeah, I love it. You have huge, oh, my God, same. To see if they've got... You have big EB Games energy. Yeah, I love it. You have huge, oh my gosh, I wonder if there's any cool new Dungeons and Dragons stuff.

Or a Pokemon t-shirt that you want. He said EB Games, not Karen Walker. Oh, sorry, as you were. Yeah, yeah. So I popped in and I owed my daughters something because they helped him with something. And I make these empty promises like, come and give me a hand and I owed my daughters something because they helped him with something and I make these empty promises like, come and give me a hand and I'll reward you greatly. And I wag all my eyebrows.

What about the food and roof over their head? Wow. Yeah, there's that. Yeah. Sometimes you do just go. What about bringing them into the world? That's the reward. Yeah.

Those nuggies, that's the reward. Yeah. You're done. You're fed. But that's how I reward myself too. I thought you were saying. Good boy. Good boy has some nuggies. Nuggies for me. N're fed. But that's how I reward myself too. I thought you were saying. Good boy. Good boy has some nuggies.

Nuggies for me. Good boy. The intergenerational reward that we can all be on board with. Even the vegans wanted them so badly, they made fake ones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So. What are they called? Vugs. Vuggies. Vuggies. We cross now to A vegetarian and vegan correspondent Chicken McBuggies What is a fake chicken nugget called?

Just nuggets No You don't get nuggets No you're having We took nuggets That's our word You're having buggets That's what they're called now

What are they made out of? Tofu probably eh? No like Beans, nuggets Soy protein You have to have some Vossages and some nuggets Chicken What? Oh yeah You just said chicken But chicken Probably, eh? No, like fake meat, soy protein, You have to have some sausages and some nuggets.

Chicken. What? Oh, yeah, that chicken. You just said chicken. But chicken. With an apostrophe in it. Oh, my God, yuck. No, it's like chick. It's chicken.

It's chickpeas. You're missing out on so much. Yeah, pea protein, soy protein. Chickpea nuggets. Do you guys want a six-pack of chickpea nuggets? See, you can't say it, and people will be honest with you every time. If you said it quickly,

and I had, I'd be like, God, you're quite drunk, Vaughn. Yeah. Hey, guys, I'm Chicago Nuggets. Hey, guys, I'm Chicago Nuggets. So I go into EB Games and I'm on the search for a reward and I see some Stranger Things posters. Now, August, my youngest, yesterday finally finished Stranger Things.

She had to take a break because it got a little bit scary. It is scary. Got a little bit scary. Whenever the lights were like, and we live really, so whenever trees tap the power lines whenever the lights were like and we live really so whenever like trees tap the power lines the lights go and she's like Vapna

and freaks out that someone from the Upside Down is coming to get her and so she had to take a little bit of a break but yesterday she finished the series

so she's still into Stranger Things and I knew she was back watching so I got her a Stranger Things poster and I was like oh what one am I gonna get

there was one for the whole cast and then there was one with Eddie who's her favourite character, in an open vest with a guitar, like in a rock god pose. Yes. Oh, yes. And on top of a van, and it says Stranger Things. I was like, that's the one. I'll get her, and I got it home,

and I said, I got you something. And she's like, ooh, and she was like, what is it? And she's like, it's a poster, and she unrolled it, and she was like, oh my gosh, it's awesome, and turned it around and showed Sade, and Sade's like, that's not appropriate for an eight-year and she was like, oh my gosh, it's awesome and turned it around and showed Sade and Sade's like, that's not appropriate for an eight-year-old to have on her wall. A semi-topless, a semi-topless.

Oh yeah, sort of like 17 or 18-year-old, however old he's supposed to be in the show. Yeah. And she's like, eh, because I knew what she said was it's inappropriate but what she really meant was it doesn't go with August 3rd. It's not Scandi. It's not Scandi Minimal's not Scandi minimalism.

It doesn't scream Scandi minimalism. It won't go with the rattan things we've got. With the pastels. And the flower decor thing. I can't say. Other wall. Yeah, no, it really doesn't. And the small cupide dolls that we got that are purely for decoration,

not for playing with, hat haul. But, you know, because we spoke last week that we think Augie might have a goth phase and I was going to guide her through that because when I was a teenager, we were renovating my room and so I drew on it and I had, like, pentagrams everywhere. So I could just tell Sade she's lucky. It was wild to me that some parents would let their kids,

like, paint or draw on their walls. Like, what? You would have been a wallpaper house though, wouldn't you? No, we were paint. We were paint. Yeah. We were a big wallpaper energy. Yeah, big wallpaper energy.

Why do we have big wallpaper? And you've got big wallpaper energy, but also the house is a little bit damp, so the seams of the wallpaper come off a little. And then... Oh my God, we grew up in New Zealand. Of course the walls are damp. The houses were all damp.

I say that because we, that was us, we had big wallpaper energy and they'd peel a little bit and then I'd be like, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick. And then... Oh, yeah. You little shit. Yeah.

No, we went from... So I had to cover up posters. Maybe when I was 11, went from wallpaper to paint. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big, big day. Big day. Can you remember,

and I'm not talking like posters out of magazines where they were in the middle and you'd like take the staples out real carefully. And the kids still, because my kids don't and I've never talked about posters.

Posters were massive. Like any poster you'd scramble for, like dad would get the truckie magazine. He'd be like, oh, she's a beauty. Oh yeah, put the truck up. I'm going to have the three kids be like scrapping over a poster of a truck.

We liked trucks, but we weren't going to go to, go fight to the death for them. But if it was a poster, you just wanted that truck poster. I'm pretty sure, because I had lots of gothy posters later, but I'm pretty sure my first one was Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

From like a Dolly magazine inset. Probably something like that. It was literally a magazine. Gather around Gen Z and let me tell you about a magazine called TV Hits Posters. TV Hits Posters was the best! And they were all big.

The smallest the posters came in at was like an A3 because the magazine would be folded and you'd take the staples out and dissect the magazine. And the smallest the posters ever got were the A3 ones that were two A4s and a half with a staple mark and a fold in the middle. Yes. And you just lay them out flat and you put a bit of weight on them to get that kink out and then you get them up on the wall.

I'm pretty sure I had a Ryan Phillippe on the wall before I knew. About the Ryan Phillippe. About the Ryan Phillippe. About the Ryan Phillippe. It was just of his face. What did you adhere? What did you use to... I mean, a Ryan Phillippe poster on the wall.

You need an A2 at least. If you wanted it to scale. And what did you use to hold the poster to the wall? Blu-Tack. And it would leave... Pins. Pins. You got to pin the wall?

We pinned the wall. We wouldn't have to pin the wall. That's nuts, right? Think about it now. If the kids were like, I want to put something on the wall and get a pin out, I'd be like, ah! But we were pins. We were big pins. Yeah.

Maybe we pinned. But blue tank always left like a little grease stain. Yeah. So it was almost. And if you didn't respect the blue tank rule of push on, roll off, it would take the paint. Yeah, it would take a little chunk, eh? Do you know what I used to attach this poster? One of those 3M.

You know where you stick it on the wall and then stick the hook on the other side? Oh, yeah. One of those little clear ones. I've pulled off paint with those before. Yeah, same. Yeah, no, no. And the poster was only allowed on the door because apparently that's second tier real estate

in the bedroom. And when the doors open, you won't see it. Oh, Sade. How mean. Oh, my God. You should get Sade a poster. Like, who is she attracted to? And then put it in the bedroom.

Yeah, because look at this big wall. We're always constantly like, this wall's too big. What are we going to do with this wall? And she wants art, but you should get a poster. For Mother's Day, she said she wants framed photos. I want to get a framed poster. Of you. No, no, of...

Just a celeb. It's got to be khaki. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Now, I have, Gregor, I believe. I believe he was anti-abortion. Oh, yeah, I remember that. He's gone down quite a right-wing hole, I think. Oh. He was a teenage heartthrob.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Who did you have on your wall? If we're talking posters. Because my first ever, you know where you'd go in and you'd flick? I think they had some sports posters. You'd flick through the poster rack? Oh, yeah. That was my, that's what I, I think what still draws me into EB Games every time.

Flick, flick, flick, flick, flick. Or you'd get free movie posters or buy them for like five bucks from the movies. From the movies, yeah. Or the video easy. And you'd go in and try to get it. Yeah. Yes. Didn't you fight with your brother over a Spice Girls poster?

No, no, no. He, his room, his side of the room was all Spice Girls. Right. And I think he was really trying to convince us all he wasn't gay as a teenager. And I was like, I don't care. I love baby Spice. Yeah, cool, man. Whatever.

But, yeah, he had that and I had band posters. Yeah, right. And a couple of girly ones stuck to the roof. Now I want posters. Carmen Electra was on the roof. Oh, right. And a couple of girly ones stuck to the roof. Now I want posters. A Carmen Electra was on the roof. Oh, yeah, she was. Dad was always a bit like, she's a bit of a rod, isn't she? Yeah, you'd always come in for a nap on your bed.

Come home from school, there's an imprint on my bed. Someone been in my bed? Dad's like, oh, I just had a quick lie down. Just don't knock if Dad's having a nap, all right? Send a little bit of celebratory chocolate. It's my anniversary today. Well, might I also join you in the celebration? We have been sent a new block of,

the Whitakers have got a new flavour, another one. Available in supermarkets next Monday. So you can't even buy it. We've got it. You can't have it. Next Monday or is it today, Monday? Monday, 8th of May. Oh, wow.

Is this Taste Embargo? Oh, did you see that? I don't do Honey Nougat. I don't do Honey Nougat. He hushed me away. I offered him the chocolate. He went, no, sir. Shoo. Like I I offered him the chocolate. He went, no, sir. Shoo.

Like I just offered him tap water. Shoo. You know I drink sparkling. Yeah, only sparkling. Yeah, honey nougat and almond. To start, would you like a tap, the bottled sparkling? Spicy water. Spicy water.

Who wants spicy water? I want chilli water. Yeah, it's my anniversary today. 12 years, dozen years. Wow, congratulations. Barely got there, eh? No, I'm kidding. We've got nothing planned.

I always feel bad. But we've got, you know, we've got no, like, furniture. We can't watch a movie. You can take them home a half-eaten block of chocolate. Oh, yeah, that'll do it. 12, I'm going to hit you with some suggestions. Yeah, help me make the day slightly special. I was going to make, because I've got some celery wilting.

Oh, perfect. Oh, well, what do you know here? Look, it's the 12th anniversary of traditional wilting celery. I knew it was wilting celery. That's why I knew I kept it there. No, I thought about making a spag bog, because it's been a long time. With wilted celery. So you got with Aaron the day that Kate and Wills got married.

Yeah. I'm sorry, wait, you put celery in a soup. Soup. Oh, you're making a soup. No, no. No, you said a spag bol. Celery carrot onion. What's that called?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can put that in a spag bol. Oh, no. Not for me. Not for me. Not for anyone. It mullies down and it's very, but you cut it short, right, so there's not the long strands of celery.

Yeah. So this is funny because, no, they got together on, it would have been our 30th of April 2011, their wedding. I went to a royal wedding party and I got smashed. So the next day, my first date with Aaron was on a Sunday and I was really hungover. Because of the wedding? Because of the royal wedding.

Wow. That's how long it's been. That's not, well that's an easy word to remember. Yeah, he was hungover too. He'd left his phone in a taxi

and he'd sent me a message on Facebook which I could still find and it's like, Hayley, if you're still keen to hang out tomorrow, I'm keen, but I've lost my phone

in a taxi. I'll meet you at Fidel's, the most Wellington. Hey, what do you think of the amount they charge for avocado? Just out of interest. I haven't been back since.

They gave us that dollop of brown avocado. I do have a problem with it. I do have a problem. This is a Wellington institution. I love the coffee. I just thought last time we went there and my brown avocado that was $800 or whatever it was. Well, I haven't seen him that mad about things, but.

Not the avocado at Fidel's. That was good. But last year, because we're renovating, we've got no money. So last year, remember we did 11, we had to say 11 nice things about each other. Okay. Words of affirmation. Were 12?

Yeah, but I think we struggled to get to 11 last year. So adding in another one, and we've already said it. What if you did six each? Yeah, but I think we struggled to get to 11 last year. So adding in another one, and we've already said it. What if you did six each? Yeah. And then that makes 12 nice things about us. Make it more quality, not quantity. It's not a milestone or anything, but 12 is like a dozen. Every day together is a milestone.

Yeah. Celebrate every moment with that beloved partner of yours. Shade and I have recently got back into baby talk. Oh, God, have you? In a big way. We've been doing it in a restaurant. We've been doing it. It became one of those because she doesn't usually play along.

She gets embarrassed. What's your baby do? Give us your baby. We call each other Nani. Nani and Nani. Yeah. And it's like bean and bean. Nani is always like, oh, Nani. Nani and Nani. Yeah. We're Bean. And it's like Bean and Bean. Nani is always like, oh, Nani.

Like, you're frustrated. We are sharing two bedroom apartments from Thursday to Sunday. You're here for the Nani tour. I better hear no Nani talk. You will be, this entire weekend, I will refer to my wife. We were at a wedding, a formal function. You'll never hear to me. I'll say, have you met my wife, Nani?

And then she'll be like, Nani. I'll be like, Nani. Oh, a formal function, you'll never heard of me. I'll say, have you met my wife Nani? And then she'll be like, Nani? I'll be like, Nani? Nani is just for the home. Nani is cross-bound. We did it on the plane and I was looking at her being stupid, being Nani, and I caught it out of the corner of my eye that people in the seat behind us just went like,

what the fuck? As our two daughters are sitting there but just shaking their heads at us. Money. Money. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, of the day. Get it together. Today's fact of the day is about shellfish allergies.

Okay. Aaron's got this. How bad? There's a good way out. Just the rock ones. Oysters, mussels, parwa. Many shellfish allergy people can eat. Mollusks, scallops, oysters, clams and mussels with no problem.

Still. Good way out for you though. Aaron can eat the prawns. Sorry. Go on, beg your pardon. While he's sleeping, just thumb in an oyster. Oh my, that's not what I thought. I thought you were in a strange plan.

I think me and you went to the same place. And I was just about to be like, have you lost your damned mind? A sense of professionalism. Please, please. I was like, this is the very thing that if one of us said, you would, like, turn off the mic and shake your finger in our face. No. Get your mind out of the gutter.

You're saying that if she wants to kill him, thumb in a mollusk. That's much better than what I thought you meant. Okay, so within the shellfish, I am also a little bit flushed. Oh, God. It was just unexpected. I'm here from him. Yeah. Yes, but he can eat prawns and all that,

shrimp and whatnot. Okay, so there's crustaceans he can eat then. Shrimp loves the crab. That causes the greatest number of allergic reactions. Many shellfish allergic people can eat mollusks, scallops, oysters, clams and mussels with no problem, but anybody with shellfish allergy symptoms should... Oh, okay, that's consulting a doctor.

Two percent... What happened to you? You just ran out of steam. No, because then it was talking about it shellfish allergy symptoms should... Oh, okay, that's consulting a doctor. 2%! What happened there? You just ran out of steam. No, because then it was talking about it and then it went into consulting a doctor because I'm on an American health website. I'm probably going to try to sell me health insurance with a couple of clauses in it. Of course.

So roughly 2% of the world is allergic to shellfish. Oh, wow. That's pretty special that you got one. Got me one. Got you one of those. But shellfish allergies is one of those things I always wonder how did evolution do that? Because

for so much of the human evolution story we've lived within Kui of the seaside. That's how we feed ourselves and survive. Totally. Oh I wonder. One of those weird kickbacks and stuff. Because like shellfish allergies can be an intense reaction, eh? Same to nut allergies.

Yes. As opposed to just little... But then different areas of the world have different... Because what was it? It was Asia have a way higher intolerance to milk. A lactose intolerance than the average other parts of the world. So yeah, it wasn't used as much. It became a little bit of a treat later on.

Not a big cheese nation. Which is maybe why the allergy got in the first place. Yeah, right. We could speculate all day, but we're not scientists, so we'll leave that to them. Yeah. But I will tell you, of the people allergic to shellfish, a high portion of them can also not eat insects.

Oh, no. Oh, no, that's not good for the future. This is the future, the future protein. The edible insect revolution is not as promising for those. Oh, yeah. Who can't eat shellfish. No gains. No gains.

We've had a lot of, I always say it, the deep fried crickets. They were yum. Yum. Like popcorn. Like you could just eat a whole thing. No, we had them in Cambodia. Oh, yeah, yum. Real yum.

Anything deep fried, though, to be fair. Yeah, to be fair. Deep fried shoe. To be fair. I don't care. Deep fried Adidas shoes. Yeah, beautiful. Yum.

Deep fried Yeezy. Mmm, chewy. More goes gooey. Yeah, it melts. Cheap rubbish plaster that looks like a crock. Yeah, it does. It's just an expensive crock, really. So today's fact of the day is that if you're allergic to shellfish,

there's a very high chance you're allergic to insects. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So we mentioned just before that the sales of vinyl now are bigger than CDs. Any other way to listen to music. Obviously not streaming. But a new study has found that half of people that buy vinyl, like a record, don't have a record player. Which is nuts, right?

That's insane. 41 million vinyl units were sold compared to 33 million CDs in 2022. Who bought the 33 million CDs? I know one or two out here. CDs. CDs, though. You would have won vinyls. I love a CD, actually.

I buy all of my favourite albums, I have them on CD. What? Why? Like, the day it comes out, I'm at JB Hi-Fi buying it. See, I can understand vinyl because vinyl sounds different. It sounds better. It's got a warmer sound. It sounds better.

But the CDs just sound like MP3s. But they skip when you go for a bump. Look, after your CD's better. They're weak. They're little bees. Yeah, they're weak. It's like listening to a weak little stream when you want to be listening to a mighty river.

But also like with vinyl players, record players, they're quite a nice little like vibe, you know, and they're sleek and they're nice. They look cool as an interior design choice as well. CD players, those big towers we used to have. I don't even think I have anywhere to play CDs. No, I don't either. I think now don't have a slot.

Oh, I think CD 1's finished. CD 2 will be on soon. Transformers. Transformers. Roll out. How many vinyls do you have with no record player? Like one or two. What do you own on vinyl?

Did you buy them or were you given them? I bought them. To be fair, cheaper. They were like on a discount type of thing. But Taylor Swift. But do you have them on discount? Because you can get frames, vinyl frames. And they can look cool if you put all your...

Yeah, I've got a framed vinyl. That's cool, you get the art. So you're putting artwork up, but are you framing them? I want to, but has that happened yet? No. No. I've got a little Bohemian Rhapsody, a very rare one, of the little ones, you know, just the single.

Oh, yeah. It's very cool. It's very cool. I shipped over from Edinburgh. Right. But no record player? No, we've got a record player. Oh, you do?

But I would never play that record oh right because it's it's a vontage just one side just a piece of art you know right right no we've got one don't leave records in your boot let me just say that i'm a hot summer sun i bought aaron's bob segers for his birthday and i went to go get them out and they were like but i wanted to see is like half of all people that are buying vinyl, and you mentioned the units, like millions, don't have anywhere to play them. Is there something else like this that you collect that you don't use?

You spend all this money on? Like toys. Or people that, like, buy sneakers, and they line up outside sneaker stores and just leave them in the box. It's nuts. I know, you can't wear them. Like, what's the point? Yeah, I mean, some people leave them in the box. It's nuts. I know, you can't wear them. Like, what's the point? Yeah, I mean, some people display them in cool ways,

but I'm the same, like, put it on the foot. You think it looks cool looking at it? You should wait until you feel it. You should wear it. Yeah. Get the whole sensory experience. Wear it around and everyone else will get to look at it. So I want to take some calls.

What do you own that you don't use? Yeah, that you're intentionally not using as well for some reason. Oh, like we've we bought, I bought us the Le Crusette salt and pepper grinder. Not for use. And Aaron keeps using them. We've got one of those

in the corner. Wait, what do you mean? Not that, but we've got these chopping boards. Yeah. And a mortar and pistol pistol? Pistol. Pistol. Wacky smasher. A lot of people go through trouble for using that. Pestle? Pestle. Wacky smasher. A lot of people go through. I know, I've got trouble for using that. You're not allowed to use it.

Well, then put it away where you can't see it. No, but it's to be seen, you see. Right. So you can use the PAMS grinders. I'll use grinder. Just to see what's out there. Yeah, get my options open. He's open-minded.

But I wouldn't. This Le Creuset grinder sounds like a French, like, premier version. But see, why bother, like... Because their display piece, they're green and the Le Creuset thing is blue and the kitchen's green and blue and they sit there.

Well, use them. No! But then you have to have, like, a yuck, like, supermarket grinder. Yeah, but that's in the drawer, like, pulled away. Oh. And you put it away and you crack your salt. It's still a nice salt, but you can't use the grinder, Aaron.

So we could say, what do you have that's display only? Yeah, display only. What's display only? 0800-DARLS-IT-M. Give us a call now. You can text as well, 9696. What have you got in your house that's display only? Give us a call.

Well, a stat showing that about 50 people that buy vinyl records, which have been outselling every other form of music that you can physically buy in the last couple of years, don't have a record player. I get mine on the radio or the iHeartRadio app. Yes, absolutely. But we want to know from you this morning, what is... Just play only.

Yeah, what you've bought but you can't use. I was wondering if there was like guitars, because my brother as a musician had a few instruments that were not for play. You know like this one's like a really nice and you can't play it. But guitars, people say they're really nice because of the sound they give you yet you're depriving yourself of

hearing the nice sound for the look. Not for play. Dylan, what have you got that's viewing only? I have little Funko Pop toys. Oh, my brother-in-law's got heaps of those. Not for play, though. Not for play. Not for play. I feel like if Vaughn wasn't

married, he'd have, like, rooms of these. Yeah, yeah. He would. What do you do with them? I bought about six of them about three, four years ago, and I bubble-wrapped them all.

And I've had them just sitting in the boxes, and I checked the price recently because it came up in conversation. You're not even looking at them. Yeah. And one of the Captain America ones is worth about $2,600 USD. Oh, my God. Wow. That's investing right there. Sell it now. Sell it now. Yeah. That's investing right there. That's investing.

Sell it now. Yeah. That's doing better than my bloody sharesies. I'd like to get some of these. Wow. Dylan, thank you. Text in 9696 0800 dials at M. What have you got that's display only?

No touching. Don't touch the salt and pepper grinder. There's always a bottle of Galeano, eh? That's display only. Somebody said I got a bottle of Galeano, but I's display only. Somebody said I got a bottle of Galliano, but I'm in my 20s, I'm in my 50s now, and I've never even thought of opening it. What in your house is display only?

Someone said my treadmill. Now, that's funny. Anybody who buys any sort of equipment for the home will agree with you. A treadmill, a wonderful place to hang a towel. Yeah. They're really good for towels. Yeah, or like a single duvet.

You can get it over the whole thing and it's not touching the ground and gets good air circulation around it. Better living, everybody. Someone said, my best mate somehow got in his mind that I'm a fan of tequila. I'm definitely not a fan of tequila. It is my booze. You know how everyone's got a booze that they can't touch because they went overboard one time?

Mm-hmm. Some reason he keeps buying them for me every birthday and Christmas and now I've got a whole bunch of tequila and it looks to other people like I'm a tequila collector and so they get me tequilas as well. Hayley and I will take those off your hands for a margarita night. Absolutely. I love a good tequila.

Just neat. It's funny the first time you have a good tequila, right? Wait a minute, has someone told Jose Cuervo this is an option? Shot to the bar is always tequila. It's always huas, huas, huas, huas. You're like,

far out. And you have to shut it because it will mount your nasal passage on the way through if you don't. If you just sip on it. So many people are saying

the smeg knives they got from New World. Oh my God. Well, if they're display only, help me out because I dropped one yesterday

and it snapped in half and now my sets are not complete. That wouldn't be good if their home intruder came in. You're picking up a snap in half. I don't know if I'd use it. I want my knife to go all the way into them, not snap off when it hits a rib. Not snap off halfway. Yeah. Well, so this is a vegetable knife.

I don't think I'd stab an intruder with a vegetable knife. I would. I'd go for a shorter knife. I would use the smeg knife that's a bit pointy at the end. Yeah, but that's a long knife. No, the bread knife. There's the bread knife and the carving knife and it tips over at the end. Imagine if you went to stab an intruder and you grabbed the bread knife.

Idiot, you'd have to blow the sword off. Sword in half. Break into my house. My husband collects axes. I said, oh, you should. In fact, a few different people have messaged this in half. Break into my house. My husband collects axes. I said, oh, you should... In fact, a few different people have messaged this in. Axes. Axes.

And I said to him one day, oh, with that wood that's cutting, you should use the axe. And he just looked at me like I was an absolute idiot. You monster. There for looking at only. Absolute idiot. Display only candles. How many people... Someone said, how many other people's houses are filled with display only candles?

Don't burn that one. Don't you dare light that candle. You can take the lid off, but not for too long, because the dust will get in. I have $2,000 worth of Teletubbies. Now, I hate to tell you, but I think the ass has dropped out of the Teletubby market. I don't think you're going to be cashing in any time soon. Saw a slight resurgence when they said they were going to do it again, but then it quickly dipped out again. Because the sun got old.

The sun's not a baby anymore. The sun's got its own baby. Yeah. The sun has a baby. Makes us feel old. Yeah. What about cookbooks? Someone said, I've got big, thick, beautiful cookbooks along a bookshelf,

but I always just Google the recipes that I know are in them. The books are display only. You don't want to get flour and egg on your recipe books. Yeah, grease. My mother-in-law has a rustic looking compost bin display only in the kitchen. The sort of thing that you put all your scraps in and then take them out in one go. I unknowingly put a banana skin in it.

Oh my god! Of the mother-in-law when she found it months later and said someone put a banana skin in the compost bin. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Heaven forbid. Yeah.

Display only. What about cushions? Where you go to lie on the ground and you grab a couple of cushions and you get told those are not for lying on. They're purely for looking at. Tea cups, egg cups are kept up high so no one can ever consider reaching for them or lighting my candles. Display only.

Fine China. Display only. Yeah. Crazy. Shivers, guys. 10 out. Find China. Display only. Yep. Crazy. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't.

Or who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah.

Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.