ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st May 2024

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Top 6: Construction Site Shortages   Silly Little Poll!   Vaughan's Facebook Page Change  When did you lie for someone?   Vaughan's down with the Kids!  Were you in trouble, Overseas?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Wednesday. Happy 1st of May.

Yes. It's already May. That's crazy. It is. It's going fast. I know. I know. What's May Day?

May Day? Yeah. Like when your plane's going down? Nah, isn I know. What's May Day? May Day? Yeah. Like when your plane's going down? Nah, isn't like the first of May. It's a European festival of ancient origins marking the beginning of summer, usually celebrated on May 1st, around halfway between.

Why do they say May Day, May Day? When, you know, like when your plane is going down. What's the origins of that? I don't know. The first plane crash in May. May. And they were like, what's the day, May? It's May, day, May day. Originates from the French

phrase, mi adieu, which means help me. Of course. It was first adopted as a distress signal for aviation in the early 1920s. The credits for its implementation goes to Frederick Stanley Mockford, a senior radio officer at London's Croydon Airport. Thank you.

It was also my anniversary with um, what's his name? Greg. No, it's not Greg, that's a stage name. Greg Grover. I've forgotten his name anyway, 13 years today. Well, congratulations. Thank you. What's the gift? Shannon actually looked it up for me.

Well, I mean, that's usually marriage, and I hate to harp on about it, but we aren't married yet. No, engaged, but not married. Engaged to be wed, but it's lace or something else silly. Lace or... Is he going to remember? Food. Floor.

Feet pictures. Flam. She's sort of miming things. Say it into the microphone. She's rubbing her arms. Fur. Fur. Fur.

Okay. She was going like this. She was flipping her hand. It's also May 1st. Look at some birthdays. Charlie D'Amelio, American social media influenced dancer and TikTok star. Oh, wow. Happy 20th birthday to her.

She's got more money than I'll ever have. Son of a gun. Who else have we got here? No one really. I love that you're like, let's look at some birthdays. Well, I just went to

make no one. I'll say a lame birthday. Lots of football players have all got their own Wikipedia pages. No, sort of megastars? You need it. I'm back in 1978.

No one, a huge sofa. I mean, massive people to niche interests. This is so embarrassing. Jamie Dornan. What year was he born? 82. Tim McGraw. He's a country guy. Oh, Wes Anderson, the director.

Man, how do I miss all these names? You're doing such a better job. I'm doing a great job of celebrity birthdays. I'm sorry, I let everybody go. Those are kind of the big ones. I'm really sorry, I ruined this. On this day in 1956, I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash was released.

Great song. Should we just play that all day? Oh, Joanna Lumley's birthday today. How the hell do you miss that? Passing from Ab Fab. Ayrton Senna died, the Brazilian race car driver. And that's actually timely because I called my wife Ayrton Senna the other day when she was driving fast.

I said, calm down, Ayrton Senna. And she said, what are you talking about? Obviously. Yeah, I think you need a bit of reference. Given that he died 30 years ago today I need a more modern racing reference. But I want someone

who died while racing, you see. Right, well happy 1st of May. The top six is coming up are construction workers leaving New Zealand. Gone. Add them. Police.

Leaving. Nurses. Why wouldn't they? Teachers. Teachers. See you later. Everyone else leaving. Construction workers

add it to the list. They're heading overseas for more money and more promising construction careers. Teachers. See you later. Everyone else, leave them. Construction workers, add it to the list. Yeah. They're heading overseas for more money, more promising construction careers. I've got the top six signs. The construction site you see all the time is short on workers. Do you know, apparently kangaroo experts are leaving New Zealand as well. Goodness me. Turns out there was none here.

Couldn't keep them. Couldn't keep them. They've got to go. Next on the show. Lonely Mail is making a cry. It's making a cry for help and company in a very bold way. Now, Al Gilberti. Great name, Al.

Al Biggerti. Gilberti. Like Gilbert, but make it Italian. Al Gilberti. He's 70 years old. He lives in Texas in Sweetwater. Yeah. And he pays, I've just translated to New Zealand dollars,

about $700. I think we say converted, don't we? What did I say? Translated. I'll stick with translated, thank't we? What did I say? Translated. Oh, stick was translated. Thank you. He pays, I've just translated that. He pays around $700 a week to hire a billboard,

upon which he advertises Al Gilberti himself. There's a picture that I'll say was taken on a 2004 webcam. Oh, yep, okay. Yeah, that's to the side. Underneath is a number with his, you know, cell phone and his email address, but then a little note saying, don't text and drive.

And the bulk of the message says, lonely male can relocate, sweet water, seeks female marriage, yeah, he needed some commas. Seeks female marriage minded. Yep. Enjoy karaoke.

Oh, okay. That's kind of cute. That's really sweet. He's 70 years old. He's a lonely male. Happy to relocate. Seeks female marriage minded. You know, it's all there.

Seeks female, comma, marriage minded. You know? Sex female, comma, marriage minded, comma, enjoys karaoke. No. Sex female, marriage minded, full stop.

Enjoy karaoke, full stop. Enjoy karaoke. Enjoy? He probably might be paying by the letter. I don't know how billboard advertising works.

He's being, what's the word? Economical. It blows my mind when I see signs with like apostrophes and stuff incorrectly used or perhaps not used where they need to be used. You'd think whoever was printing the sign would be like, hey, you've left out an apostrophe here or a comma. They don't care.

They don't care. They're getting paid. So is this working for him? Yeah. So he's previously been married. He's a father of one. Now, see, I think that his kid could have done a little pass on the billboard. Yeah.

You know? Okay. Someone a bit more tech savvy. It's a 20-foot high billboard, and he said he's received 400 calls and maybe 50 emails in just over two weeks. Wow. Okay. It's only been up for a month.

Probably most of them journalists. Yes. They're like, tell us the story of a man that's paying for a billboard and looking for love. He said,

he thinks he's getting some dates out of it. He was like, I think I want to meet the right person. He said he doesn't believe the right person has made the call yet.

Oh, wow. So he said 400 and he's like, no. Perky. Perky. He said, if I meet the right person, I want to look at their eyes call yet. Oh, wow. So he said 400 and he's like, no. Picky. Picky. He said, if I meet the right person, I want to look at their eyes and see how they respond.

Now, he's quite intense. Okay. He'd probably be better just to say everybody meet me at a bar or like, I don't know, the food court at the mall or something. Yeah. You know, and then just have a kind of speed dating event. Do a bit of a speed date. He said he'd be happy to relocate, happy to go to Europe

even to meet someone. He just needs to get his passport sorted. Okay. What he's looking for is someone loyal, someone honest about themselves and someone sincere.

Right. Yeah. He's a pretty cool guy. He wears a fedora. He's got long hair only at the back, none at the top. Would you...

Party, party, party. Would you set up like a relative or a family member with this man? Not at all. Yourself? No.

No. If your mum was single, you wouldn't be like, I've found the man for you? No, no. He said... She does love karaoke. She loves karaoke.

What's the problem? I don't know. He does say he's willing to relocate. He says, I've got a retirement income, I'm in good shape, I don't look my age. No, that's a lie. And I'm open. I don't know. He does say he's willing to relocate. He says I've got a retirement income. I'm in good shape. I don't look my age.

No, that's a lie. And I'm open. I don't know what open means. Could be butt stuff. I mean, if you get to 70 and you're looking. And you haven't tried it. I think you've got to open the back door. Absolutely.

Why not? The top six is next. Top six signs the construction site that you see regularly. You know how everybody's got one construction site they're keeping an eye on? Yep. Yep. It's short of construction site they're keeping an eye on? Yep. It's short of construction workers. Everybody's leaving to Aussie. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. I mean, things aren't looking rosy for the government, are they? Not super rosy stats coming out. I heard from somebody yesterday as a cost-cutting measure, in a Canterbury police station, the sanitary bins had been removed. Yeah.

So what, do you just flick your tampons on the ground now? No, you flush them and then cause a bigger bill by having to get the drains unclogged. Yeah. Okay, great. I was like, you couldn't. You couldn't. You couldn't. You'd take a stance, wouldn't you?

What did they say at the start of the news last night? They'd done a poll and cynicism, they'd surveyed people and their thoughts on the government and support and not support. Apparently cynicism was on the rise. I was like, I love it. I love a bit of cynicism. As a cynicist yourself.

As a big cynic. Big cynic. Often told to. I'm quite like cynicists. Knock a big cynic. As a big cynic. Often told to. I quite like cynicism. Knock off the cynicism. And I'm like, no. Oh, will I? What a great idea. It's on the live.

Because they chuck a bit of sarcasm at them as well. But apparently construction workers also are leaving the company. Company. Country. Feels like it's been run like a company. Terribly. I feel like they've been leaving for ages, though. Yeah, well, it's always run by a company. Terribly. I feel like they've been leaving for ages, though. Yeah, well, it's always been

more higher wages and stuff overseas, but I think just in general there's a slowdown. Right. And maybe not as many jobs. And so they're leaving, but of course when it turns around we're going to need them. They're gone. So I've got today the top six signs, the construction site that you're

keeping an eye on as shorter workers. Everybody's got one that they see regularly and they're like, that's coming along. I always say that. Oh, the crane up today, that's coming along. Oh yeah. God, that's gone up fast. It goes so slow though. I know. It goes slow and then you like drive by one day and you're like, holy shit there's a building there. I know, but when you go past every

day, like there's a skyscraper being built down for mine. It's like when you don't see somebody's kid for a couple of years and you see them and they've shot up a foot and you're like, oh my God, you're an adult. But they saw them every day so they didn't see it. The skyscraper near yours is really taking its time. I know. Like, come on.

Hurry. Grow up. Yeah, what are we doing? Grow up, skyscraper. That Sky City convention, that guy that left his blowtorch on and burnt it down, he really put a hamper on things, didn't he? It's been like four years since then.

At least. Grow up. Grow up. Another top six signs that construction project you always look at short of workers. Number six on the list.

Only two people manning the stop-go sign. Only two? Only two. That's madness. In the good old days we used to have seven people

on that stop-go sign. Well, they need company. One to hold the radio, another one to push the button. One to wave, one to receive the waves. Because I wave. Yes, and the receiver of the wave is a sign of a bygone time, Hayley. I'm sorry, but there's not the money to have someone there receiving the waves and someone else giving the waves.

That really sucks. We're losing a human connection there. We are. Number five on the list of the top six signs that construction project you always look at short of workers.

The crane has Spider-Man sized cobwebs all over it. This is also number one on the list of the other top six I was going to do today. Top six signs

there's a superhero moved into your neighbourhood. Oh, so you've dribbled a bit into this one. There's a bit of a cross-pollination there. A bit of a dribble. But of course, in the good old days of a flush construction site, eight men were primarily put there to take down Spider-Man's webs.

Wow. The guy's zip-zapping all around the city. Big webs. Huge webs. He's so much bigger than a real spider. Way bigger. So bigger webs. Number four on the list of the top six.

That makes sense. The ratio of webs. Don't encourage him. That's science, baby. So bigger webs. Number four on the list of the top six. That makes sense. Don't encourage. That's science, baby. I'm encouraging. Number four on the list of the top six signs of construction project you always look at short of workers. The broomstick wearing a helmet and a high-vis coat is doing F all. Skinny guy, eh?

Wow, so skinny I believe it is just literally a broom laid up against a high-vis coat with a helmet on the top. That's how I used to literally a broom Oh God, how do you fold? I was kind of with a helmet on the top Yeah, that's how I used to get a, you know I'd clock into work, put my helmet on top of a broomstick And then I'd go and have a snooze somewhere Leaving my blowtorch going

They would think you're working Yeah, they'd think I was working I thought you meant when you'd come to radio And I was like, Fletch, that must have been so boring Yeah Talking to that broomstick The broomstick would just wiggle, Fletch, that must have been so boring. Yeah. Talking to that broomstick. The broomstick would just wiggle and Fletch would laugh.

It was a great show. It was a great show. He's easily tickled. Number three on the list of the top six signs of the construction project you always look at is short of workers.

Every shop around it has a high-vis sale going. They just need to get rid of that old stock. Yeah. You've got to get rid of last season's high-vis before, of course,

we move into the new season of high-vis. Which is all the same colours. rid of last season's high-vis before, of course, we move into the new season of high-vis. Which is all the same colours. Just discussing, actually, what's going to be next in fashion. High-vis. High-vis.

I'm leading the charge. I love a bit of high-vis. Oh. Doesn't suit my complexion. I think it does. You've just not given it the right opportunity. All right.

You're a beautiful woman in high-vis. Thank you. Number two on the list of the top six signs the construction project you always look at short of work is there's a sign that says, hey, you always wanted to try welding?

Can you do this bit? And it's sort of like you go in and you're like, I'll have a go at welding because you've always wanted to have a go at welding if you haven't done welding. I've never welded. And then you just pick up the welder and there might be a few simple instructions

and then you're welding the I-beams to get the building up. DIY construction. Yeah, everybody just sort of to get the building up. DIY construction. Yeah, everybody just sort of chips in. Community construction. Community construction. I like that. That's a great idea. And then you can drive past the building like your dad used to and be like,

built that. Done that. And then as it's got a horrendous lean on because of all the unqualified welders putting in crucial support beams. They're like, oh, not my bit. I didn't work on that bit. That wasn't my bit. I was on the other side. Lady Steve. It's never your bit. Terrible welder. Oh, not my bit. I didn't work on that bit. That wasn't my bit. I was on the other side.

Lady Steve. It's never your bit. Terrible welder. It's never your bit. Number one on the list of the top six sides of the construction project you always look at short of workers. You have to walk past the construction site

six times before someone tells you you've got a nice ass. That's not on. I want to go past once. I want multiple compliments. Same. On the scale of compliments from something so wildly inappropriate, I'll take it.

And I want them in New York accents. Yeah. What have we got here? Yeah. What have we got walking? That's today's Subsex. Now, I'll read out the first two sentences of this news story, and then let's discuss how wild this is. Okay.

Because Colorado, a senator there has just signed into law the first measure passed in the U.S. that aims to protect the data found in a person's brainwaves. What? In a person's brainwaves. I don't really know what that means. Sponsors of the bill said it's necessary because there are quick advancements in neurotechnology

that make scanning, analysing and selling mental data increasingly more possible and profitable. No, no, no, don't look at my brain. Don't look at my brain. There's some weird things happening in my brain. What? How does this advance sex doll technology? That's my question and everything.

Okay, where's the sex dolls? I think they'll fall in love with you and be the perfect companion and you'll rhyme in. Then they'll start nagging you. Is it because they'll know what I am thinking before I'm thinking because they know my brainwaves? Yeah, your brainwaves will be like. I cannot see a problem here.

Can we get that put on a chip and inserted into Sade's brain? So already. That would get me in trouble because she'd ask me a question and my dark passenger would tell her the answer. Yeah, you can't have that.

You're being able to read people's minds. I reckon it would rip people's minds. I'd have to be able to read his mind. You absolutely wouldn't. Well,

this is what they're saying that you'll be able to like, already Elon Musk is working on this with Neuralink, also Meta are working on stuff, technology that can detect brain activity

and then put that to commercial use. So the potential being for targeted ads. Oh, get out. Exploiting human moods and stuff like regenerating brain function. I feel invaded. Yeah. That's so yuck.

Regenerating brain function. That's promising. That's exciting. Yeah, Regenerating brain function, that's promising. That's exciting. Yeah, but just focus on that stuff. You don't want to be walking down the street and pass a sensor and then the next billboard, like one of those tiny little billboards in a bus stop is like, oh. She wants this.

Oh, my God. Imagine what it would be like. You'd be walking behind someone and they'd be like, just da-da-da-da-da. Then all of a sudden it's like, dildos. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I wasn't thinking of that. I wasn't thinking of that.

And then the next one. Extra large butt plugs. Massive, massive black dildos. This guy is just like, why is he doing this to me? I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. You're like, oh, my God, dude, stop thinking about dildos. He's like, I can't now. Just go buy one.

Yeah. Oh, my God, that's some. I know, it's scary, isn't it? Yeah. I reckon I'll tap out about that point you know what I mean. I'll go live on a tiny isolated island on my own where no one can

set up a little brain scanner. I can't have people in my thoughts. Guys I can't have people in my thoughts. I can't have them in my thoughts. Alright it's just gonna be interesting. Yeah like we've all got like you know those. I think rude things. Yeah I know it's just going to be interesting. We've all got like, you know, those things. I think rude things. I think rude things all the time.

If someone asks me a question, it's probably about the third answer that my brain chucks that I actually give them. The first one's always very rude. The second one's nasty. And the third one's like just a palatable answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you feeling today?

Not that one, not that one. Yeah, all right. Yeah. Yeah. Are you okay? Not that one, not that one. Yeah, all right. Yeah. Yeah. Are you okay? Not that one, not that one. Not that one, not that one. Probably not that one.

Not that one. That one will do. Yeah, no, I'm all right. Yep, yep. You're really good. You're doing great. Well, well. Yeah, yeah.

Not that one. Are you upset with me? Not that one, not that one. Not that one, not that one. No, we'll give you that idea. Palatable. Palatable. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley.

Play ZM. Fletchford and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little polars, what do you travel for? You know, what are you hoping to get out of that? What are you hoping to get out of that?

Trip overseas. Hot hookups should have been on the list in my mind. Hot hookups. What were our options? Experiences, food, partying, or other. 80% of people said experiences. 14% of people said food. 5% of people said other, and only 2% for partying.

Partying is sometimes a byproduct of being there, but you don't travel specifically to do it, right? But wouldn't you say going to a big festival or Burning Man? Yeah, that would be partying. Like a hotel or... Yeah, that's partying. The European festivals. It's more of an experience, man.

Yeah, I suppose. So it's like a psychedelic experience. Put it under experience. Yeah. Yeah, because you've got those people that could easily sit on an island for 10 days. Yeah. And that's not... Yeah, like a relaxation.

No, I'm talking Ibiza, like to the clubs till like 7am every morning. Then they break in. No thanks. No thanks. Oh no. Dan, one of our many homosexual listeners. Okay. And good morning to our homosexual listeners.

Homosexual. All of those that celebrate. Dan says, generally experiences but followed closely by vineyards for wine tasting and lunches. Can you beat a vineyard in autumn for sheer beauty? You can't, Dan. You actually can't. You can't, Dan. You're right.

Those goldens, those browns, those oranges. Oh, the browns, the ambers. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. I mean, to me, all I see is a mess of having to clean up leaves, but you enjoy it. You enjoy it. Rebecca says, I live overseas, so most travel is actually home to see family.

Time for new adventures, though. This has really made me think about it. Yeah, okay. It's like a family. I don't know. If you're living overseas and you're settled and stuff and you're traveling home, then yeah, maybe it is time for adventures. Yeah.

But if you're on your OE, you're kind of living the adventure, aren't you? Yeah. It's not full time. Sorry for getting a bit philosophical there, guys. It almost deserves a quote with a horse behind it. Almost. I don't know if it's in the quote calendar. It needs work. It needs some refining. Kerry said, work

sad face. Oh, yeah, true. Sorry about that, Kerry. Sorry to hear. Hannah says, to escape reality and pretend I live a better and more exotic life than I actually do. Now, what would that fall under? Experiences? You're experiencing life. Yeah, what would that fall under? Experiences? You're experiencing life.

Yeah, maybe we could have had a few more categories. I like pretending You can't in the polls. Yeah, you can only have like four, eh? Restricted. I justify my travel by booking events overseas

because I simply must fly 37 hours to Morocco to do a Pilates course. You must. They don't do Pilates like they do at Morocco. Sleep with the instructor. Yeah, always. Always sleep with the instructor. You must. They don't do Pilates like they do in Morocco. Sleep with the instructor. Yeah, always. Always sleep with the

instructor. You have to. They're very bendy. Very bendy. Sarah says, I always base a great holiday on how good the shopping is. Shopping. Oh yeah, okay. Oh, your shopping trips. That is the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. I love to shop while I'm on holiday, but it's not the main

event. Give it an hour. Give it a look. Or a day. Quick browse. Give it a day. Nothing's worse. Can we like set aside tomorrow and the day after for shopping? No.

That's a horrible idea for a holiday. I love shopping. Maddie, I travel usually for concerts because based in Wellington, no one ever comes here. You're not wrong. Ed Sheeran would disagree with you. We were doing an Ed Sheeran concert there last year, didn't we? Yes, we did, yeah. Gosh, what a concert. It was great. It was fantastic. In fact, I feel like that's

a real woe is me attitude. Yeah. Concerts in Wellington. No, but you know all the big ones are in Auckland or you have to go to Aussie. James Taylor plays Tomorrow Night. Is that? I don't know. Or you have to go to Aussie. James Taylor plays tomorrow night. I don't know.

It's James Taylor. Oh, my God. James Taylor. Amazing. Is that the guy that dates Jamila Jamil? Is that him? I don't know, Vaughn. I don't know.

I couldn't tell you. Trini Rarun is playing later. Teddy Swims is playing in Wellington. There you go. Tenacious D is playing in Wellington. Jimmy bloody Barnes is playing in Wellington. There you go. Tenacious D's playing in Wellington. Jimmy Bloody Barnes is playing. Barnsie. Barnsie's playing. Is he still, is he

got the okay from the doctors and he had some Yeah, he did. Okay. Guys, James Taylor sings, I seen fire and I seen rain. He's 76 years old. I don't believe we play him on this channel. No. He does not look that old in the little thumbnail he's got when he plays his Wellington concert. Wait, back to where we were.

Person who has an emoji for their name on Instagram says, I travel for the weather. Oh, yeah. They chase the sun. I guess they're chasing the sun there because they've used a whole lot of summer emojis, not chasing the snow. Yeah, book something for like July, August, and you know you're going to get some sun. And a bit of like, kiss a brown.

Yeah. You know? Just a little tamp. A little bit of a Birkenstock stripe. At least you're really white and pasty and then you're just getting a... Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

A slobber of sun. Always sunscreen. Always sunscreen. Slip, slop, slap and rap. And silly little pole. I'm upset I'm reading this article And it's one of my favourite things to do And apparently it could be causing

The death of my relationship Now today it's our anniversary So the relationship is doing well I think Despite the fact that we both love Parallel scrolling Is that when both of you are on your phones next to each other? It's when you jump into bed and you don't talk

and you're both on your phones scrolling and every now and then you'll see a funny thing and you'll share it with the other person and you're not connecting, you're just parallel scrolling. When you say share it with your partner, do you send it to them? Yeah, you're not allowed to roll over and be like, look at this, you've got to send it to them

so that they can digest it in their own time. Well, Aaron doesn't use the social medias, so I have to show him. What is he doing? He's scrolling. He plays strange games. Oh, that's not scrolling, that's games. It's the same thing. Yeah.

On your phone, is he playing? Like Candy Crush? Yeah, no, that's games. It's the same thing. Yeah. On your phone, is he playing? Like Candy Crush? Yeah. No, not Candy Crush. Like, you know, swiping to make fours and threes. Coins and pins. I don't know. Right.

Aaron's either playing a coiny game or he is deep diving in Wikipedia. Right. Reading about a war. Okay. You know what I mean? And I'm scrolling on reels and every now and then I'll be like,

cat, cat thing and I'll show him a thing. But apparently, experts are saying parallel scrolling because basically when you've got your face buried in your phone

side by side, you're shutting off any chance of intimacy and affection or engaging with your partner. Yeah. We live in a busy, fast-paced world

and sometimes being in bed together is one of the few opportunities you have to connect. Yeah. And if you're on your phones, you can't do it. And they're saying we're getting distracted, and it's causing more separateness. Now, I didn't know separateness was a word.

Now I'm not trusting this doctor. Separateness. What kind of doctor says this can create more separateness? Separation. More. Nope. It's even in quotations, Vaughan.

More separateness. Is it a word? Separative. The division of separateness as in solitude the state of being alone or apart

from others. The separateness of the island community has given it a distinct culture. That's Merriam-Webster too. That's not urban. Right.

Why are we talking about the island cultures? Or was that just the quote? Well, the separateness of the island community has given it a distinct culture, so it's separated from the other. Oh, the separateness. It's an art separateness. Well, now we look dumb because it is a word.

I thought this doctor was dumb. Separateness. It doesn't sound like it's a word. And then they were like, all you've got to do, you've got to ask yourself if you're using your phone to avoid your partner. No, I'm just loving the reels.

I'm loving the content that people are putting out there. I'm cracking up over here. I'm messaging my boys Fletch and or Vaughn and I'm sending them my funny reels for the day so that we can all have a little chuckle about it

in the morning. They're saying set boundaries around phone reels. What did you send yesterday? Oh, yes, that was inappropriate. Go on, let's dive into our Instagram shares. Oh, yeah.

You were very mean. I thought there was a couple there that you were being a little bit mean. Was I being mean? Mate, you were being privately mean. Oh, yeah, the one above, I was being mean. That one above that one, too. Yeah, I'm being mean. Let's not open up our private chats. It is private and it is encrypted. So what, boundaries?

Boundaries, they're saying like 10 minutes? Get into bed and for 10 minutes you don't pick up your phone and you have a chat and the chat may lead to kisses and touches. Now, that might be a hard conversation to start, but it's important what you do is you put your phone down and you've got to do it sneakily so important what you do is you put your phone down and you've got to do it sneakily so your partner doesn't see you put your phone down. Yeah.

Wait 20 seconds and then be like, you're on your phone a lot. I literally did this yesterday. And then you bring it up. We need to set some boundaries. It's important that you've had your phone down for a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And you've got to let out at least one.

Lightly, though. Don't make it too obvious. If you want to really smack them in the face of that, you're on your phone a lot. Oh, so you're just on your phone, are you? Because I'll just pick up mine and then you're like, yes, Instagram. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Big day for Shannon, actually. Big day for Shannon. Now, she often comes to the three of us for advice, being slightly older and wiser. I just want to make sure. I'm about 10 years younger than you guys. But more she comes to you guys.

More she comes to you guys for your aged wisdom. Right, okay. And today she's doing something for the very first time. If only we'd known her before she purchased the Volkswagen Golf. If only. We'd have saved her so much hassle. Yeah, too late, though. It's not'd known her before she purchased the Volkswagen Golf. If only. Oh, that's so much hassle. Yeah, too late though.

It's not about the Golf though today. No. So I move house today. Very excited. And I had to set up with a water company because my apartment, I can only use one water company.

Okay. So that's all good. Sounds like a monopoly to me. Yeah, it does. It does a bit. So I paid a bond last week and I thought all done and dusted, tick.

Felt good. Then I got an email saying, hey, bestie, you need a- That's not how any water company starts their emails. If that's how your water company- If your water company messages you, hey, bestie, there's a problem. Okay, they didn't say, hey, bestie, sorry. Right. I'm embellishing.

Okay. No, they just said, hey, Shannon, or There's a problem. Okay, they didn't say, hey, bestie. Sorry. Right. I'm embellishing. Okay. No, they just said, hey, Shannon. Or probably, hello, Shannon. I don't think they said, hey, would they? No. Very informal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I got an email from this water company.

And they said, to get your water connected and to set up direct debit, I have to send a letter to Porirua with a bank form. I don't know. How much is this water costing us coming all the way from Porirua? Yeah, that's a big pipe. Why? No, that's where the bond, is that where the bond lodgment place is? For tenancy.

Is that the tenancy bond place? No, this is water. So this is water. So I paid a bond. So while my letter goes to Porirua and gets set up, then they can do direct debit and charge my bank account. That seems very 1990s. I know.

I have to go to the bank. I know. I went back and I said, can I do this electronically? And they said, we're looking at setting up an app in the future. Oh, my God. We're looking at setting up. It's 2024, Water Company. I know.

So the thing you're doing today for the first time is sending a letter. Yeah, I don't know how to send a letter. I know how to send parcels because I send things in the mail. But I know I've seen a letter. Oh my God.

You would have received that. Oh my God. This is like, how do you push the buttons on a push button phone? Like, this is a question up there with that. God, wait till you show them

a rotary dial. Blown their little minds. phone. This is a question up there with that. Go wait till you show them a rotary dial. Blow their little minds. Because I know you lick them because my friend Celia can't lick them. We haven't licked stamps for, I'm guessing 15 to 20 years.

There used to be these amazing things as well. They were like wet sausages and they were in a little box. They were like wet furry sausages. Wet furry sausages and you would get the stamp and you would run it along the spinning furry wet sausage

and that was in lieu of licking it for you. Are you serious? It was like a wet sausage licker. Imagine if I didn't ask you guys this. Isn't that Fletcher's name in high school? The wet sausage licker.

I think so. He answers not to bring that up but here it is. You will hear from my lawyers later today. My lawyer too. That would actually be quite... You miss furry. Ian's just not doing that. Wow. You will hear from my lawyers later today. My lawyer too. That would actually be quite... You miss furry.

I wish you were a lawyer. The same person. Vaughn, it's the lawyer here. Hi. Now, what were you calling Rihanna? My business or Fletch suing me for slander? Oh, my goodness. So, you know, there's stickers now.

Okay. Imagine if I had licked a sticker. That would have been embarrassing. I probably would have unstuck it. How much is it to send a letter now? It's expensive, right? It's so much because nobody does it anymore. It used to be 40 cents.

Really? I can remember it cheaper as a kid. I don't even have a 40 cent. We've probably got prepaid envelopes here at work. Two 20s. I actually think that's... Or just send it in a courier bag, right? I don't think there are...

If you go into the post office, there's no... Is there stamps anymore right I don't think there are if you go into the post office there's no is there stamps anymore I don't think there's envelopes and stamps

put it into a put it through a thing and it goes and like or they print a little stamp on it does what

I don't know you can buy I'm sorry giggity giggity you can buy special like pop culture stamps yeah

collectible stamps are still there collectible you don't want to put a collectible stamp on losers she's Collectible stamps. You don't want to put a collector's stamp. Oh, no. She's like,

why did this cost me $200? I don't like Lord of the Rings stamps that much. But I have to go to the bank first as well. I've only been inside a bank twice, both times when my card got scammed. And I had to get a new card

because I got scammed. And I had to be like, it's me, the scam girl. You used to spend so much time at the bank. I used to go to the bank like every week. It was fun. When mum was going to be like it's me, the scam girl. You used to spend so much time at the bank. You used to go to the bank like every week. It was fun! When mum was going to be like, I'm going to go to the bank, you'd be like, oh well I'm coming. I'm going to make a withdrawal.

And then you'd fill out the deposit slips and you'd be like, one billion dollars. Or give me all your money. And mum would be like, you brought that away. Don't you rob the bank. I'm so nervous. I had to get Carlin to help me with the forms

because I didn't understand it. Because I didn't know what a direct debit form was. Yeah, I didn't know what a direct debit was. I've got to worry about you. Just go get a prepaid bag from reception. Put it in that. There's prepaid envelopes here. Also, our direct debit,

I'm pretty sure it's just set up off our visa. Most companies do that. And that's why I went back being like, am I stupid or am I making this complicated? And they said, no, you must mail it to Pottydor.

And it must be sent by your mailman. No, it's fine. I can't. Can we put an eye over it just to make sure it's not like the neighbours scamming you?

Oh my goodness. I'm being scammed again. Yeah. Yeah, please. God, okay. Well, good luck on your letter sending. Do you know where

to send a letter? What do you mean? Do you know where to send a letter? What do you mean? Do you know where the place is? The post shop? Yeah. Oh, there's one there, yeah. Okay, good. Because I'm sending out some crochet as well.

I've got two hustles. Oh, actually, I've got some returns, if you wouldn't mind dropping those. Oh, yeah, I also have a return. Bought a couple of blazers. Not enough structure to them. Oh, right. Not a bit saggy.

Unstructured blazer. Yeah, they're going back to Australia. Right. Just if you're going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. Well, good luck. Oh, right. A little bit saggy. Unstructured blazer. Yeah, they're going back to Australia. Right. Just if you're going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. Well, good luck. Keep us updated.

Thank you. Famously, you love a structured blazer. You had that one with whalebone structure in it, didn't you? I did not. You did. It was strong. You said you found a whale. I didn't know.

You said you found a whale and you cut it. No. You went back in the middle of the night with a chainsaw. That was not true. I don't own that. I don't have that ataw. That was not true. I don't own that. I don't have that at all. You had that craft. I was stomping on the blazer being like,

amazing strength in a whale butt. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Okay, so do you remember when Taylor Swift was a bridesmaid? When was that? That was quite recently, wasn't it? And everyone was like, why would you do that? Yeah.

Why would you have Taylor Swift? But even if she was a guest at the wedding, people are all eyes on her, right? Yeah. Even if she's not a bridesmaid. Yeah. But you forget, they're just normal people. Well, were. Used to be normal people before they became these, like, mega things.

Yeah, her best friend, Abigail Anderson, who's like, this is Taylor Swift, from years ago, got married and had Taylor Swift as her maid of honour. I'm like, the biggest star in the world? Yeah, is at your wedding? I feel like I'd just be like, hey, bestie. Yeah. You are so famous. You're more famous than, like, the president.

Yeah. Do you mind, like, not coming? Because I, like, don't want that. And then your, like, wedding's going to be all over like People Magazine and all that kind of stuff. But then how sad is that for celebrities like her that then just get isolated even more? It must be hard to have a friend become that successful.

I'll have to ask my friends. Good from you. Good from you. This happened just now with Margot Robbie, was a bridesmaid at an Australian wedding of her childhood best friend on the Gold Coast. So she's there looking every bit Margot Robbie, beautiful as ever.

Yeah. She's in this, they're calling the colour of the dress butter. Very, very. Better than margarine. Better than margarine. I'd say it's almost more margarine, though, because it's like a little light, creamy, yellowy white.

Oh, is it like overseas butter? We've got a very yellow butter here. It's French butter. We've got a very yellow butter. It's French butter. It's French butter. Pale. Very pale.

I like a pale butter. I love a French butter. But we've got a very yellow butter. Yeah, I love a yellow butter. You notice that? It's like we've added turmeric. Are we adding turmeric to our butter? No, we're not adding turmeric to our butter.

This could be part of our True Crime podcast series. Is there turmeric in the butter? In New Zealand's butter, there must be turmeric. Why is it so yellow? Why is it so yellow? In other places it... It's like fat. It's higher fat content, right?

Is it? We've got the good stuff. You guys carry on talking about... Why is French butter pale? I'm finding out why is NZ butter... Oh my God! It was the... I didn't even need

to finish the sentence. It knew. So yellow. Why is butter from New Zealand yellow? The yellow-orange colour of New Zealand butter is perfectly natural.

A natural pigment, beta carotene, same thing as it makes carrots, orange, provides this yellow colour. The presence of this carotene is why butter is a good source

of vitamin A. Well, why is French butter so pale? Because they don't have as much. Because the milk is mostly water and the yellow color doesn't come through the milk and is instead carried with the fat which produces the butter. We've got higher fat butter. Okay. Well, if you're having butter, that's what you want is fat.

Butter is fat. Yum. Watery butter. In 2020, there was an article called Kiwi scratching their heads after butter as butter seems to turn white. Yeah. For a while there, we go for a whiter shade of butter. Turn a whiter shade of butter. So Margot Robbie, they've been best friends since they were like kids.

She's got like a really close-knit group of friends. Yeah. And sometimes you see them on the red carpets and they yell maggot at her. And she's there. Because she's just an Aussie kid. Just grew up like a normal Aussie kid. And all of her friends are these just normal Aussie people. I'm just like

you would be a bit starstruck if you were just a guest at this wedding. But if she's your best friend, one of your besties, your tight friend group, she's coming to the wedding. Of course she is. But being a guest there, if you weren't friends with Maggot, you'd be like, oh my god. And then could you imagine all the punishing, like, cousins and...

I'm sorry, can I get a photo? Cousins have nothing on uncles. Like, g'day, Barbie. G'day, Barbie. Here she is, Barbie. I'll be your bloody kin if you need one. You'd have to say, yeah. I mean, would there be something...

But then it's like, are you sending out a separate email to all your guests other than Margot being like, can I just ask that we respect Margot? You know, she's just here as my friend. Please don't ask for photos, etc. Yeah, don't be a punisher. But then it's like everyone's just still going to be all weird. Gawking at her.

She's a Hollywood mega star. Yeah. Barbie the bridesmaid. Somebody has messaged in, celebrities are entitled to be bridesmaids. Kind of rude of you to say they shouldn't be just because they're famous. They're still humans. I would like to issue a public apology. To all celebrities?

Am I getting cancelled right now? You're getting cancelled for saying it would be... I genuinely, if I'm going to get cancelled, I'm fine with this. This is on the good end of things to be cancelled for. Yeah. It'll blow over. Yeah. They are still humans.

And apologies to our celebrity listeners. But then they are still humans, but do you want them getting all the attention on your special day no it's my day it's about me and that's why you guys won't be my

bridesmaids because of all the paparazzi the paparazzi that will just flood the wedding and we're way hotter eh

sorry I mean we know we are but we don't say them we don't say them you've said it out loud so he said it and now you've reiterated it out loud but we don't say it. We don't say it out loud. You've said it out loud. So he said it and now you've reiterated it out loud.

We just don't want you having the attention taken away. It's probably best for you to step the back. Because of your hotness. Do you want me to zoom in? It's fine. You can zoom in. I'll zoom in. Just to not distract the other guests.

That's fine. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. Yesterday on Facebook, I sent you guys a screencap, right? I think I have since deleted it because it was pretty boob heavy. It was boob heavy. You don't leave hard to explain boob evidence in your photo album on your phone. Yeah. Because this weird explanation I'm about to give you would also,

you'd be like, yeah, right. But yesterday it popped up as a story that I was following a page called Lifelike Touring. Right. And I was like, what is lifelike touring? No idea. What the hell is that? And then I clicked on the story and it said before and there's like

a computer generated, it's like an AI generated image of an old woman in very revealing swimsuit, huge cleavage. It's obviously AI and that says before and then afterwards it says after, and it's just like straight up boobs.

This is on Facebook. On Facebook. Yeah. And I was like, what is Life Like Touring? I clicked on it. It says Life Like Touring has 652,000 followers, 650,000 likes. A whole bunch of friends also follow Life Like Touring,

including my wife. Yeah. Alternative and holistic health service. What? And its most recent post is, Elvis Presley's tomb is open after 50 years. What they found shocked the world. Oh, it sounds like whatever page you followed has been hacked.

Or they've sold it. Do they sell them? Yeah, sometimes. Like there's a place that gets all these followers and they're not kind of bothered with it or whatever. Is there an... Do people buy them off them? Yeah, because do you remember?

They just turn them into these junk spam pages that you like immediately when you see their first post, you unfollow. Because do you remember years ago they sold Wellington, what's that famous Wellington page, the buy-sell? Oh, Victoria. Victoria, yeah. Yeah, Mount Vic buy-sell.

Yeah, whatever page that was, yeah. I've had it with an Instagram page before where they've obviously sold it. It was like bohemian decor and it was like all like cool apartments and stuff. And then it started like advertising weird sort of, you know, drop shipped from China crap. And I was like, what the hell's happened to this page?

And they, yeah, they just sold it. Yeah. And sold all the followers with them. So you found out they sold it. Yeah, I was Googling. But I don't know what page this was. Yeah, what were you? Because they deleted all their other stuff.

And lots of people that I know also follow it. Were people commenting on the... Yeah. And they were just like, what's happened? A lot of people commented like, what was this page? Yeah. Like literally like, I'm unfollowing the... Yeah. And they were just like, what's happened? A lot of people commented like, what was this page? Yeah. I'm unfollowing immediately.

Yeah. But what was this page? I see stuff come up on Facebook. I'm like, I don't even know what that is. My Facebook is such a mess. Yeah, like I don't, I just don't use it. Old stuff. Yeah. Or old groups.

Like I was looking at the groups and it was like groups you manage. And one of them's called West End Girls Circa Theatre, which was like a play I did like 11 years ago. And you're like, why is that sort of hanging around? And these pages. I feel like I need to go through and do a clean up. Every so often some weird page will pop up and we're like, what was that? And you'll click on it and it was some page that you followed because it was funny.

The fact of the day started as page of the day and it was some page that you followed because it was funny. The fact of the day started as page of the day and it was just like sharing funny Facebook pages. I know, I know. It definitely evolved to the better option. Hey guys,

great news. Lifelike Touring posted four hours ago that a friend found this in her garden this morning. At first thought it was a mushroom but then she learned it was nothing

she could ever have imagined. It's an alien baby. Oh my God. Okay. This page is lost. It's an alien baby. Oh my God. Oh my God. This page has lost it. It's an alien baby. This page has absolutely lost it. Are you unfollowing?

Yes, immediately. Oh. Yeah. Oh, well. Good riddance. Yeah, it is for the best, actually. It's hard to explain the boobs when they pop up.

Oh, the great part is my wife was part of the page as well, so I don't know. So you didn't get in trouble. Phew! 24 minutes away from eight. Next, Liar Liar Pants on Fire. We have a liar among us.

Yeah, I'm looking at them. The girls at the producer's booth have been lying. We'll explain next. Jo. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Look at these liars. I can see them.

I face the producer's booth, and you know what? All I can see is a pack of liars I can see them I face the producers both And you know what All I can see is a pack of liars Especially the girls The clue was in the smoke Coming from their pants Their pants are literally On fire

Like blaze Where there's smoke There's fire But I'm in a dress While your undies are on fire She's like I'm not wearing any You've been listening to sex.life

Okay Confess It's confession time actually girls are on fire. She's like, I'm not wearing any. You've been listening to sex.life. Okay, confess. It's confession time actually, girls. Yeah, I made Carwin lie for me. Don't throw your hands up over this. Someone needs to take responsibility. No, no, no. She sent me a message.

She said, hey, I need you to do this thing for me. Just FYI, if they ask, we've been friends for five years. Okay. As opposed to being friends for? Well, to be fair, I've known Shannon. I've known of Shannon for five years when we studied together, but we were a year apart, so we weren't close. Yes. So you'd say how many years have you actually been close and friends?

How long have you been on the show? Maybe like two or three. Yeah. Because before the show. Yeah, we knew each other, but I just wanted to strengthen what our relationship could sound like. So I see we've been close for five years. Who were you lying to?

My now landlord. Hang on. Don't worry, the landlord will make that up to you and lies told back to you. Like, oh, that was working when you moved in. Yeah, you're going to pay for that. You've broken that. Oh, you've broken that.

I just didn't want, as a character reference, someone who I've only been close with for two years. I thought maybe they would think I'm a loser or someone who can't hold good relationships. You asked Carwen to be a character reference. Yes. I'm a great character reference. I would have asked me.

Yeah, but would you have filled out the form in time? No. Wow. That's the thing. It had to be done within about an hour. We've all fudged how long we've known someone when they're applying for a passport Oh yeah

And then it turns out they take down a plane and investigations lead to you Exactly how long had you known them? I have known them Some people that have got in trouble for lying for people for a job and they've turned out to be like they steal something or they're terrible

and then they get. Yeah, you gave us a character reference. I was never their boss. I'm just their old flatmate. Ross also had to give a reference because he's my boss and he said he used AI to write it and then he didn't even get to put it in the box. All he had to verify was that he's my boss

and that I actually have this job. Right. But he had written a big old AI report of me. Oh, a report. Which I thought was quite impressive. It's not impressive, it's AI. It took five seconds. True.

But yeah, no, I had to get everyone around me. I was like, guys, you have like an hour to do this reference. Carwin, we've been close for five years. It's been beautiful. You won't be alone in this. I think I've done it. I think when I applied for like a job in a clothing store, this reference. Carwin, we've been close for five years. It's been beautiful. You won't be alone in this. I think I've done it. I think when I applied for like a job

in a clothing store, I was like, it was like my first proper job. I made up a couple of jobs and I put my friends and I think I put my dad on one of them. Everybody uses a friend

or a dad for a reference, right? For like an ex-employer or boss? Yeah. You know, I grew up with a couple of people who had different surnames to their mum. Oh, yeah. Yes. Or step-m Surely. Yeah. You know, I grew up with a couple of people who had different surnames to their mum.

Oh, yeah. Or step mum. Yes. And they'd get like the different named people that, you know, they lived there in the house

or there's, you know, a former employer because it was a different name. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They'd never know. They wouldn't know.

But if I put my mum, my mum's name, Christine Smith and her phone number was the same phone number I'd put on there. Yeah, they'd know. They'd know that that's my mum.

Yeah. But yeah, if you had a different last name, piece of cake. To lie for a family member. Well, this has sparked in me a phoner idea of when you had to lie for someone. Maybe it was like a reference thing or some kind of, you know, admin lie. Yeah. But maybe you're just helping someone cover up. Because we've all lied for friends.

Maybe you were a, hey, if Aaron asks, I was with you on Friday night. Oh, wow. I don't like doing those ones. I don't want to lie for cheating. I've been like made to do it. I've been put in that situation. It's horrible. Have you?

Yeah, it's horrible. I don't think I have. Like if someone asks, I was with you, okay? I'll be like, ooh. Yeah, no, I've never done that. I don't think I've ever done that. We had a great time. Oh, so how was your Friday night? It was wonderful.

We danced the night away. Why are you talking like that and being so weird? Why are you being weird? I'm not being weird. It was a fantastic evening. Okay, call us now. 0800 Dials at MSN number. You can text through 9696.

When did you have to lie for someone like the little liars in front of me now? Was it easy? Did you get called for a reference? Yes. Did it backfire on you? Did it backfire. Did you get caught out? Well, the girls have confessed. Shannon asked Carwin to lie for her as a reference

for her flat that she's moving into today. So the lie worked. The agreement's been signed. It has been signed. So we want to know when you had to lie for someone. It was a sneaky lie. Like it was just an extension of how long they've known each other. It wasn't terrible.

Yeah, less of a lie, more of an exaggeration. Yeah. So we want to know when you've had to lie for someone. Maybe it backfired. Maybe it didn't. Maybe you had to pretend to be an old boss. Chelsea, who you've had to lie for someone. Maybe it backfired. Maybe it didn't. Maybe you had to pretend to be an old boss. Chelsea, who did you have to lie for? I had to lie for my best friend.

Oh, that's what we do as best friends. Yeah, so she lives at home and I was sledding. And whenever she'd go to her sneaky link, she was always telling mum she was staying at my flat. What's a sneaky link? I don't know. Oh, a little extra. she was really telling mum she was staying at my flat what's a sneaky link you know oh a little extra was it a secret

from everybody or just a secret from mum mum because it would be like a weeknight like a Wednesday oh okay

you know we're hooking up on Wednesdays aren't we wow so she would say that she was at yours how long do you have to keep that up for?

Until they started dating. Well, was mum alright with weekend sex or just, I think just weekday sex? Seven days a week she didn't like sex or just weekdays aren't for sex? I just don't think I want to be going, hey mum, I'm off to have sex. Yeah, right, right, right. I've never said to my mum, bye, I'm off to have sex. But she knew. Well, she knew I wasn't because not when I Yeah, right, right, right. I've never said to my mum, bye, I'm off to have sex. But she knew. Well, she knew I wasn't

because not when I was living at home, it never happened. I'm going to shoot her a text now, though, if I think we're about to get lucky. Thank you, Chelsea. Yeah, I think I'm about to have sex. She's like, go, boy, go. Go get him, tiger.

Be respectful and don't neglect. Keep your texts coming in, 9696 0800 dials it in. When did you have to lie for someone? We want to know now why you lied for a friend. Yes, like Carwen lying for Shannon on her reference for a new flat. It's a bit of lying. I call it lying light.

It's lying light. It's diet lying. Katie, when did you have to lie for somebody or have someone lie for you? Well, this is actually as of this week. Oh, recent lie. But my partner and I have been trying to get a house

for so long, and we finally found a perfect one this week, and I was applying for it, and the only thing I asked my partner to do was let his mum know that she's supposedly a landlord. Okay, easy line. They've got different last names, so I thought, yep, sweet, that'll work.

Perfect, yep. And I get a phone call about five o'clock yesterday from his mum going, hey, I've just got a random call from some lady about a house. Oh, no, no, no. You're dumb. He didn't tell her, did he? Hey I've just got a random call from some lady about a hat You dumb bitch He didn't tell her did he? No No It's the only thing I asked him to do

So this is all on him actually Sorry I thought he had told her and she had skipped I do apologise to your future mother-in-law for using the B word He's a dumb bee He's the dumb bee So are you living with her? No your future mother-in-law for using the B word. He's a dumby. He's the dumby. He's the dumby. So, are you living with her? No.

Yeah, we live in like a little garage out the back of the house. Well, technically, she is your landlady. I know, but honestly, she was so confused and then she let down like, oh, that's my kids. Oh, no. Wait, so have you heard anything back from the place, the house?

No, we haven't heard back yet and so I'm so nervous. It is cooked when you first want to go flatting and they ask for flatting references and you're like, I don't have any. It's like when they, when you apply for a job at an entry level and they're like, work experience. You're like, how? Yeah, yeah. This is our first step. Give us a chance. Oh,, work experience. You're like, how? Yeah, yeah. How do I get it?

This is our first step. Give us a chance. Oh, well, good. Hey, look, it's not over yet. Maybe they'll let this one slide. Well, she knows the lie now, so she'll be good for the next one. Yeah.

How much trouble was the boyfriend in, though? He was in the dog box all night. Yeah. Well, he's let him out already. You haven't let him out already, have you? No, he's gone to work and I haven't seen him. He sent me the little box all night. Yeah. He's let him out already. You haven't let him out already, have you? No, he's gone to work and I haven't seen him. He sent me the little good morning text. No, don't reply to that shit.

Don't reply. Leave that on read. Yeah. How long have you guys been together? Three years, we're engaged. Oh, engaged. It's the early days yet. Three years.

You'll probably find around, it's Hayley's anniversary today and as a man who's been in a relationship for a long time, it's not until you hit that, I tell you what, in about ten years the dog box can be a powerful tool. And it also gets to the point where, speaking as a guy, it's one of your, actually a pretty good reprieve from the responsibilities of being in a relationship where you have to communicate.

It's nice out there. It sounds a little toxic. Yeah, it does sound a little bit. A week-long dog box. It is a little toxic. It's nice out there. It sounds a little toxic. Yeah, it does sound a little bit. A weak long dog box. There's a little hole there. It's a communication tool. It is. It's not communicating.

Exactly. Katie, good luck with that. Some messages in. When you've had to lie for your friends. So many lies being told. Somebody said, I asked my friend to lie to my parents and say I was at her house

when I was going for a sneaky link. Yeah. Which is what we're calling it now for everybody. Yeah. Just thought we'd call it out for everybody. Yeah, a lot of people doing that. And she burst into tears. Oh. Okay.

My parents rang and said is she there? Is our daughter there? And she just straight up didn't even say yes. She just straight away burst into tears. You've got to

You've got to prep him. Got to prep him. Got to prep him. A lot of people lying on rental things so I wouldn't feel so bad for Shannon and Carlin. Oh, yeah, rentals are the big ones. Me and my friend used to make fake permission slips

to go to church camp as she was just staying at my house because her mum would not allow sleepovers. Oh, okay. Not allow sleepovers at all. Do you think mum was like, why is there a church camp every weekend? Yeah. And if she's involved in the church,

wouldn't she be saying to her other church pals? Yeah, how's about this camp? How's about these camps? These children are just loving the Lord. Whenever my bestie would get in trouble, I would lie on her behalf to her parents. It got to the point where I just did it for the thrill of it. I love lying to them about anything.

This is a classic one. My friend was on a horrible date and text from the bathroom. Now we've all employed this. Asked me to call her to fake an emergency so she could leave. She put me on speaker and I gave the performance. No, if they...

Gorgeous, gorgeous. If it's speakerphone, it's obviously a lie. They put me on speaker and I gave the performance of a lifetime. Fletch, you've got to come home. You won't believe it. Why? What's happened?

The place is ablaze. Fire. Fire everywhere. But then what if he's like, I'll take you to the fire. No, no, no, don't. I would. No, I'll Uber. I'm fireproof.

I'll be safe. Yeah, I am. You get out of here and get near water. This fire sounds like it's spreading. I'm Khaleesi. I'm fireproof. I'll be safe. Yeah, I am. You get out of here and get near water. The fire sounds like it's spreading. I'm Khaleesi. I do not burn. Or he says, I'm a fireman. Yeah.

You're like, well, you better go and get that bloody engine shouted up, champ, because it sounds like you're going to have a big job on your hands. Play Zed-E. Let's go to Nelly. Play Zed-E. Met a new friend of Indy's yesterday. Oh, yeah, cute.

Had netball practice at like four, so she came back to our place and then went back. Was Indy like, don't be embarrassing? No. Damn. I'm pretty cool. You're about to be embarrassing, Dad, though. She walked in and I was.

It's any day now, isn't it? Any day. Did your dad ever... Was he ever embarrassing? My dad's... Yeah, I don't think I ever really got embarrassed about my parents. My dad was a bit of a clown, you know, like a funny... Yeah, my dad was a joker, but it was weird because we'd be, like,

telling people how, like, strict my dad was. Right. Like, da-da-da, but then he'd put in so much effort to be jovial. Be jovial, yeah. You've got real Phil, Phil, what is it from Modern Family? Phil Dumphy. That's the highest praise you could ever pay. Big Phil Dumphy.

A father of two daughters. But when they walked in, I was fixing a cavity slider, which is one of my many skills. How do we feel about cavity sliders? I hate them. Big on Ryan. Your finger always gets stuck when you go to push it. Big on regret.

And then you pull it out and it's got that silly lock. Constantly taking the jam off to get it level again. Sometimes they're needed, though. They're a space saver. They're a space saver. They save space. Save space. They weaken the wall.

There's no structural integrity at the part where there has to be hollow for the wall to slide into. The cavity for the cavity slider. It's a the wall. There's no structural integrity at the part where there has to be hollow for the door to slide into. The cavity for the cavity slider. It's a weakened wall. I'm not a cavity slider fan, but sometimes you just need it. You've got to put in a cavity slider. An en-suit at Max. An en-suit at Max.

Not a bedroom door. Oh, no, no, no. En-suit or wardrobe. That's it. Silly little poll. Tomorrow, cavity sliders. Yay or nay. Cavity sliders.

They're always, and they won't stay locked, and then they get a little bit out of line, and you can't lock the bathroom door, and all you want to do is play with yourself. But what did you just say? I missed that part. I missed it too. That was bored.

It wasn't me. It was Fletch. It sounded like Fletch. The way he'd need to lock the bathroom door to play with himself when he lives by himself, I don't know why. I don't have a cavity slider. Do you not have a single cavity slider? No.

We've got three cavity sliders in our house. Your laundry's ranch. It's laundry's ranch. It's a ranch slider. It's a ranch. It's not into a cavity. I've got a cavity into my wardrobe. But nowhere else.

Everything else, real door. Real door. Hinged doors as the good Lord above it. Yeah. I'm a hinged door guy. You are hinged. We've got slightly distracted. But I believe it was worth it. I think it was worth it.

I think that was. I mean, the cavity door industry is going to be complaining. No, they know that that's shit. But they know that people need them for space reasons. Yeah. That they're thin. Thin, wobbly, weak. Always coming loose.

I just don't feel privacy behind a cavity slider. I don't feel full privacy. It's too hollow. It's like, oh, pathetic. As if it's stopping anything. Never aligned. On the laundry one, I bought a strong magnet. Oh, yeah.

And put it in the door and also in the frame to hold it shut. Right. Now, that holds it shut, but that weak little handle. Yeah, weak little handle. The two-fingered handle. Then you can only get the tip of the finger in there. It's not deep enough in the grease. It's not deep enough.

I don't even want to talk about what we're going to talk about now. What about the ones that have the little finger loop at the end, but you've still got to hand slide it to get into the loop? It slides into the wall flat, and you're like, how am I going to get this out? And you've got to pull up that little finger loop. Take my strong hand. And you touch the little cavity flap.

I think this cavity slider industry needs to take a good look at itself. And grow up. And grow up. Add some structural integrity to the wall. Add some stronger doors, a better handle, better locks. Yeah, better sliding tracks. Just get better. Get a heavier door.

So you can have a heavier door. Yeah. Rattle, rattle, rattle. They sort of crab walk to the side after a while. Get lost. Yuck. Yuck. So I took the door jams off these pathetic I'd rather have a cat flap as a door.

I'd rather crawl through a cat flap. I thought I had to push the door up in its entirety. Okay, so when you're not using it it's up and it's got a stick that holds it. And when you want it shut, you let it flap down. I'd rather have bakery or butcher flaps into my wardrobe than a cavity slider. I'd rather have a ding dong bell. I'd rather have some plastic butcher flaps and a ding dong bell.

Every time I went into the laundry, like I was going into a dairy. Better a beaded curtain than that absolute embarrassment. A cavity slider. Horrendous. I took the door jams off and I was levelling the cavity sliders. Don't get us started. I don't want to sit off again. And this is when the new friend comes in, Harper, and I'm like,

hi, I'm the handyman. Oh, my God. And he was like, that's my dad. I'm like, well, am I? You'll have to ask the pool guy. Oh, my God. And then I was so embarrassed. And I said, you're so embarrassing.

And I'm like, did someone say my name? Because I'm the pool guy. You're doing character work. I'm doing character work. You are so embarrassed. Don't do this. A great first impression. They're going to stop bringing friends over.

They will. Yeah. Anyway. You're doing character work. Oh, my God. I think they'll end up going to stop bringing friends over. Yeah, they will. Anyway. You're doing character work. Oh my God. I think they'll end up going to Auntie Hayley's. Yeah, they are.

For a bloody stiff drink. To go back to our previous front or you'll be lying on behalf of my children. I'll ring them and be like, oh, they're at your place?

You'll be like, yep. And then you'll be doing character work. Yeah, they're doing their homework and stuff. Being quiet. We don't want to interrupt them. So, anyway, later on, after netball practice,

we're dropping Harper off home. And they're talking in the background. What are you, the taxi driver now? Is that a third character? Yeah, that's a third character. You need that bumper sticker, Dad's Taxi. Oh, gosh. And they're talking and they're dropping some Gen Alpha slang.

Now, if you thought Gen Z slang was bad, Gen Alpha slang's next level. It's their new slang. But I've done a bit of research, so I start dropping a bit of Gen Alpha slang. So Gen Z's all your pop cap bussin'. Yeah. What's Gen Alpha? Gen Alpha's got get. Get.

Get. Like short for ghetto, obviously. Chocolate ghetto. Chocolate ghetto. No, it's get as in like get the guitar. Get. Get. Like short for ghetto, obviously. Chocolate ghetto. Chocolate ghetto. No, it's get as in like get the guitar. Get that ass. Oh, get it. Get it.

Like a really nice ghetto. Yeah. Beautiful. A bit of mousse, a bit of cream, a bit of ice cream. Fake cherries. Delicious. They're talking about someone and I'm like, sounds like Al Riz to me.

Why are you doing this? Al Riz. Loser Riz like, sounds like Al Riz to me. Why are you doing this? Al Riz. Loser Riz. No good. Al Riz. Al Riz. I thought it was like Spanish Riz. So they were like, they had the Riz.

And they do the face and the. Oh, I want to die. I hate it. I hated that. I hated that so much. I'm so embarrassed and I'm just having the time of my life destroying

this lingo for them because you know what it was like when you heard your dad say gnarly in the 90s that's a bit of a gnarly billabong t-shirt you got there Chris would take it off immediately throw it on the ground set it on fire so I'm slowly trying to

destroy this lingo. Right. And then, having the time of my life, I'd hear Harper say to Indy, how does your dad know all these words? Wow.

And she's like, I do not know. Little do they know, I'm putting effort in to research these words when I hear them said. That's the most dad thing, Googling,

what is Elriz? What is my daughter actually saying? And you know when you take a chip and you're like, dad tax. Yep. Try phantom tax. Phantom? Phantom's this YouTuber who apparently thought he invented it when he was taking people's food and calling it phantom tax. I was like, dads have been doing that for generations, my dudes.

Yeah. It's like chip tax. Chuck a phantom tax in there. When you go pick up the takeaways. Chip tax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That generations, my dudes. Yeah. It's like chip tax. Chuck a phantom tax in there. When you go pick up the takeaways. Chip tax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's delivery driver tax. Yeah.

Because you go in and pick them up. If something weird happens, try Ohio. Just say that. Ohio. Oh, my God. It just feels so weird hearing you say. What's Ohio? It means like weird, like something unexplainable, like Ohio.

Like, because weird things happen there according to some song sometime. Right. I've got you guys. If you guys need any of these words. Why would we need them? We're not having children. We don't engage with that generation. It's a big Sigma energy there.

Oh, my God. Stop it. Big Sigma Riz. Oi. I hate it. I'm going to just tap out now. We're tapping out now. We're tapping out now.

I hate it almost as much as I hate- Cavity sliders! Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Did you know that the Hinge app is based on Nobel Prize winning algorithm? No. I didn't even know that there was that much thought behind it. They just uploaded things. They give

Nobel Peace Prizes to algorithms like dating algorithms. I don't know. No, not the Peace Prize. There's lots of different Nobel Prizes. There's Nobel Prize for this, Nobel Prize Nobel Peace Prize. Was there one for condiments? Don't know if there's a Nobel

Source Prize. I actually don't know that. Don't know if there's a Nobel sauce prize. I actually don't know that. Why is burger sauce? It would certainly be putting its hand up in the last couple of years. Tui Mata would be in there. A lot of Cully's entries. Yeah. Yes. No, they don't have that.

Anyway, so Hinge, which is a dating app, they have a new update. And it's called the Hidden Words update. It's a new feature. And it's for people, I guess, that are maybe on the app have been a little bit exhausted by seeing like the same cheeky profile with a quirky phrase in it all the time on the app

and they're sick of it. You can create a list of hidden words that if those words are in the profile of someone, that person will go to a different folder, like a little hidden folder and you'll never see them. Right. So, and people are going on Twitter,

whatever it's called, and... I love that everyone's still calling it Twitter. Like, what is it? Like, don't even bother. And what do you call a tweet? Yeah. An X. Yeah.

No. And they're going on, and they're sharing the words that they are putting on their hidden words list. Right. So if you, like, so someone shared this, their hidden words are, don't take yourself too seriously, as a phrase.

So you can do phrases. Oh, yeah. Travel, long walks, Formula One, ick, banter, Sunday roast, pineapple on pizza, Sunday walk, Pam to my gym as in the office reference. And you can do certain emojis like the purple devil.

If you hide everyone that likes travel, what are you just going to end up with someone that doesn't like going on holidays? But they don't want someone that like harps on about travel, like I'm a traveller, I've got a traveller's soul. No, you would hide the word wanderlust. Yes! Because people are going to be like, I like to travel. I've got endless wanderlust. Yes. Because people could be like, I like to travel. I've got endless wanderlust.

Yes. It's like, yo, get out of it. Always looking for my next adventure. And you could just put that as a phrase. And anyone that has that in their thing is just hidden. What if they're a terrible speller and they sneak through with a... With a little spelling mistake. They put wounderlust instead of wanderlust. Wunder. Wunderlust instead of Wunderlust.

Wunder. Wunderlust. Do you know what? This will start popping up, I reckon, people getting around it. So, yeah, apparently Formula One is a massive thing that people put on their profiles to be like, I watch the Netflix series.

I watch Drive to Survive or whatever. Thrive to Drive. Thrive to drive. Thrive to drive the survival cars or something like that. And so a lot of people are coming on being like yes, Formula 1, get it gone from the profile. I mean, I don't know. I don't scan profiles. Do you know, I think my affairs stopped

brewing. Really? Wow. What are you... How did it stop brewing? Well, it was just brewing and brewing and brewing and brewing. And then I think the tea got too strong. Okay. Geological comparison. Yeah.

Mount Ruapehu is rumbling. Yeah, right. Isn't it? And they're like, ooh, careful, careful. Ooh, careful, careful. And then it stops rumbling. And then it stops rumbling. They're like, here comes the eruption.

Imminent. Yeah. Something happens, it doesn't. But it's still active and it could kind of start heating up again we're certainly not calling it dormant we're not calling it dormant it's not dormant

but it's not brewing it's not an active so I was just I'm just saying this because I'm not on hinge yeah now I didn't jump on hinge but that was the next step

right to get this affair really moving yeah right okay yeah I don't know it's gone 8.25

fact of the Day is next. All this week. Public transport. Weird. Yesterday it was fast. Today it's kooky. Kooky? Okay.

Kooky public transport. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. You've been to Ecuador?

Si. Yeah, I've been to Quito. Quito? In Ecuador. Is that where the diet was invented Yeah there's Not a carbon side No bread No bread

No chips I'd walk in I'd be like Something ain't right here No potatoes here Yeah and I'd be eating So much meat And I'd be like

You know what would go well With this bread And the The whole town Would scratch your heart A tumbleweed would go through And they'd say Get him out of here

What did he see? Yeah. Them's fine, it's fine. And then

guns would be drawn and I'd be like, I don't know what I'm wrong.

It won't be guns, it'll be like avocados. Get your goddamn bread and your evil

carbohydrates out of this town. No, it's about differently. And also

a town at just over 2,800 metres. What? That's like the elevation

of the city. Oh, I was like, we're measuring the city like that? That's like the elevation of the city. Oh, I was like, we're measuring the city like that. So that's what led me to what we're about to talk about because I wanted to find the highest elevation public transport. I've been on this. Is it the gondola up the mountain? No, that's what, and then I was reading about the gondola.

Right. And it was the precursor to the gondola that I want to talk about. Okay. Because I was like, highest elevation public transport because I thought that's a cool fact. Yeah., highest elevation public transport. Because I thought, that's a cool fact. Like it's public transport, but it's high. But it just kept telling me about what one

from the start to the end elevated the quickest. Right. And I was like, that's not what I want! Don't be angry at yourself. That's not what I want! He snapped the laptop over his knee. And then I got out my other laptop and began searching again. And that's when I came across the Shiva Express.

Shiva Express? No. The Shiva Express, it was the precursor to that gondola that you talked about. Okay. And unfortunately no longer runs the full track, but is available for short trips basically. And you can kind of see why they're still doing it. They needed a way to get up this elevation.

Yeah. And they had like a rail system on there, like a trammed rail system. But they couldn't afford the trams to go on there. So they converted a bus, chanted on the rails, and ladies and gentlemen, the most rinky-dink looking thing you probably will ever see,

the Sheva Express. Oh, no way! Wow, there's no way I'm going on that. It looks like a duck boat's on the train tracks. A duck boat's on the train tracks, but the duck boat is made out of a 1956 Bedford bus that you probably went on if you went to a rural school in the 90s.

I call it teetering. Teetering, because that's the thing. To make the old train track bottoms fit, they had to boost the bus up, making the bus the centre of gravity, like terrifyingly high. And you could sit on the roof because they wanted more people to be able to transport more people.

Loose. So you could go, it would go up. You, you've been on the gondola. How would you describe? I mean, anywhere there's a gondola, it's pretty drastic terrain, right? Like you think of the gondola in Rotorua, it goes up pretty quick, or the one in Queenstown, it's just like basically a sheer cliff that it manages to find its way up.

Yeah, the Queenstown one is scary. Gondolas overseas it's always over ravines and canyons and that was the very same territory that this rinky-dink

old bus sitting atop an old train base an old tram base would navigate full of people sitting on the roof. to where the gondola

goes now? Because the gondola that you take if you're in Quito in Ecuador goes from 3,100 metres to nearly 4,000 metres. Jeez. Not all the way up.

Right. But as far up as the previous gondola. New thanks. Could. It's wild. It's like seeing one of those things. And in 2010 And you're thinking they demolished it

And they're like retired it And it's still around you can go on the rides You're like really I don't want to It looks horrible So today's fact of the day is in Ecuador Before the gondola that would take you To a beautiful

The view looks amazing by the way Gorgeous There was a bus there was also a railway train that would climb a mountain Fact of the day day day day day

day do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. There was, I've never been to Svalbard, but it's in Norway. Right, with the Svalbard Seed Bank. Yes, that's where I recognise

The name It's this weird Isolate Well no I shouldn't say weird It's isolated It's illegal to die there Yes And they hold seeds there

And there's an underground Seed bank With all the seeds From everything in the world Well you're supposed to As countries Yeah send in seeds Of your

Trees country's plants and stuff and then they keep them in there for prosperity. For when we blow ourselves up. When we escape our fallout bunker

and need to plant them. Someone's just started watching Fallout. Yeah, I just started watching Fallout last night, guys. Oh, good for you. I'm one epon.

Good, good, good. Well, there was a gentleman, he was visiting Svalbard in Norway. The Norwegian island. And he's from Poland. He was visiting and he spotted a walrus that was on a glass ice. Ice beer. Like an ice shelf?

Ice beer? Piece of ice? Why do you say glass? Sea ice? I don't know. My brain just went... He was on like a little ice... Shelf.

Shelf. Berg. I was going to say ice plank. What's happening? Is my phone slipping off? Walk the ice plank. He was on a sheet of ice. There you go.

Oh, Far out. And he has been charged $2,000 for getting disrespectfully close to a walrus that was on this thing. What is, how does the court decide disrespectfully close? Well, he was. Like a meter? The other public were taking photos of him who was trying to like jump across these glass shelves. Otherwise known as icebergs. Icebergs or ice sheets. Yeah, ship.

And they were taking photos of him and he was trying to get a photo with the walrus. And like this walrus is just like, no, my dude. I don't think I'd tango with a walrus. Nah. They're massive, aren't they? Big tango with a walrus. Nah. It's massive. It's massive, aren't they? Big teeth.

Big fatties, man. Even you see people getting close to the sea lions, like around Dunedin. But the rules about that as well, getting close to them, right? And I know you're not, if you're kayaking or you're paddle boarding and you see like orcas or what, you're not meant to go up to them either, are you? No.

You've got to have a distance. They can come to you, but you're not... And you can't fly drones over them. No, that's illegal. Yeah. So you can get in trouble for that. Sea mammals. So they're encouraged, tourists are encouraged,

because, you know, you want to see them and stuff, but they're encouraged to stay at least 150 metres away from walruses. Well, but you can't get a good selfie or a good photo that far away. And at least 30 metres away, that's when you're on a motorcraft. Oh, yeah.

Like a, you know, a boat thing. A little mini boat. Next to the ice plank. Ah! Or 30 metres at all times if you're, like, just a person going about. Okay, so 30 metres is close enough to get a photo. He got way too close. Right.

And, yeah, has received a $2,000 fine from the government. Wow. For it. That's insane. He may have given it bird flu. I just Googled walrus news in an effort to find

more about this story. Maybe some distances and exactly what form of frozen water the thing was sitting on. Was it a shelf or was it an ice plank? Was it an ice plank?

Glass plank. The first case of the walrus dying from bird flu has been detected two days ago. Oh, no. Was it this man from Poland? Was the man from Poland a bird in a man costume? I can't tell from the photos, Warren. Okay, that's all I am.

The conspiracy court rests. Yeah. So I wanted to know from our listeners if you've ever been in trouble overseas. Because, you know, like I've heard of this when people get, you know, like you think Bali all the time. You go to conservative countries and you do something. When I was in Bali, there was one of those yoga Instagram girls

and she was doing an upside down handstand with her legs split, like a split handstand. And I swear to God, I saw the foof. And I was like, we're going up a holy mountain here. You can't have your foof pointing towards the sun. No, you can't. Can't you? Very anti-religious.

I always give my foof a good sunning when I'm overseas. In New Zealand, that's fine, but not in a conservative country. And that's the thing, you go to a country you might not know of the little, you know, laws or little things that you can't do. Yeah, for sure. Or maybe you were, you know, you got arrested in another country. You got a fine. Like dressing a certain way.

You've got to be really careful the way you dress sometimes. They said that in Dubai. They were like, you know, this mall, it's ladies, shoulders covered in long. Dubai is fast and loose. And then we got there and it was just like, I'm pretty sure I saw someone's foof. Yeah. Pointing towards the sun And then you

You made your teacher Into a crop top Because you were like Disappointed you couldn't wear that Yeah if she's gonna do it Then I'll do it Yeah yeah yeah She's a rule breaker

A leader Yeah yeah yeah Okay well let's take your calls 0800 dials an Amazon number Call now You can text through 9696 When did you get in trouble

Overseas? Maybe you got a fine. Maybe you ended up in a Thai prison. We want to know. Right now, however, we are talking about when you got in trouble overseas as a tourist,

because a tourist in Svalbard in Norway got in trouble for getting too close to a walrus. $2,000 fine. That's a fine. And Norway is already expensive enough to visit,

let alone a $2,000 fine. Now, so we want to know is already expensive enough to visit, let alone a $2,000 fine. Now, so we want to know when you got in trouble. Georgia, you're in studio. Have you been a naughty little tourist overseas before? Yes, nearly got arrested in Bali. How did you nearly get arrested in Bali? Yoga foo-foo. Did you foo-foo out?

Yeah, it was actually. I did and I went under that waterfall that I was supposed to go under. Do you know you're not even allowed to take your toys to Bali? As of like last year, I'm pretty sure. Oh, that's great.

I went two years ago and it didn't seem to be an issue. Big Ted and... My G.I. Joe's in there. Yeah, Big Ted. You're not allowed to take... They do have toys. You're not allowed to take

your adult... Different kind of Big Ted. Yeah, Big Ted's an adult fun toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't judge more, is he? Yeah. But no, remember they did that police line-up

with like, you know when they do a drug bust and all the police stand next to a table of drugs? They did that, but it was with adult fun toys. Out of the table. So it wasn't for that? No, it was actually because we were scootering. The boys had their licences

and none of us girls wanted to ride a scooter, but they didn't put their helmets on. And I was on maps, and this is where we go wrong because I'm notorious for not being able to use maps. We end up on a motorway. Oh, shoot. On the corner of a motorway, there's the cops. The cops are just looking for any old payday, right?

Yeah. So we get pulled into this, like, I'm not even kidding, this dark alleyway shack thing, and I was like, this is it. I'm off to prison. Yeah, I'm going to die in prison. I'm going to die. And they've got their big AK, what, the AK-47s? I don't know.

Sure. Massive guns. Massive guns. And I was like, jeez. I also did Snapchat the case because I was like, whoa, this is buzzy. Okay, so she's now filming the police in Indonesia. Okay, great. Yeah.

Ballsy. Ballsy from you. I was like, put your phone away. And I was like, oh, no, this shit's real. Okay. Yeah, it's content, babe. Yeah, it's content, babe. We're going to show people that it's not all just waterfalls and mountains.

Can I hold your gun, babe? Can we get a photo? Can I get a photo of the gun, babe? The guy just can't understand a lick of English. And he's some girl from Christchurch just grabbing his gun. Wouldn't be the first, would it? No, go on. I was just going to say, so anyway, we're sitting there.

And it's like, they're staring at us like, don't move, helmets off, hold on to them, make sure that you show us your licence. And the boys had them and he was like,

it's expired. Doesn't work. Oh no. And they weren't expired. It was just because they wanted us to go to Denpasar Court the next day

and if we didn't show up we were going to prison. And I was like, this is it. I'm Chappelle Corby. And then Hayme's like, this is it. I'm Chappelle Corby. It's him and Corby. And then Haym's like, so how much? How much do you want?

Yeah, bribe. And he was like, oh. They were like, oh, whatever it worked out to be $50 a person, which is nothing in comparative to what you see in jail. $50 in New Zealand? Yeah. That's a lot. That's a lot.

And then we were like, okay, done, sweet, paid for all of us. Go back to our scooter. And he's like, have a lovely, sweet, paid for all of us. Go back to our scooter. And he's like, have a lovely day. Clips our helmets back on. He's like, off you go. Haim's like, what about my license? He's like, that's all good. Oh.

They kept the license. No, he basically was trying to get the money from us to weather his license. That was brand new for the trip. Oh, right. But made out that it was expired, that it wasn't valid. Cheeky. Very cheeky. Cheeky.

Very cheeky. Also at the start of this conversation you said you did a handstand under a waterfall. Now I know you didn't because you'll feel like a water balloon if you do that.

Yeah you would. You will. And I will say that from someone who has been there and has done it you won't be able to trust a fart for weeks. So don't do a handstand

under a waterfall. Yeah. The pressure is too much for you right up. It doesn't go up anywhere. You've obviously not been under a big waterfall. One not powerful enough. I took half a hook of falls back in the 80s.

That's how you got your nickname. Peter Plumlee Walker. Keep your dicks coming in. We're talking about when you've been in trouble overseas. A man got too close to a walrus. Now that's dangerous for him, but also just bothersome for the walrus.

FYI, in Norway, it's a $2,000 fine. Yes, it is indeed. So we want to know from you, when you've been in trouble, some text messages in. I got a whistle. We'll start at the low end of things. I got a whistle blowing at me

and yelled at by a guard for standing on some grass once when I was overseas. Low end. They love their grass. Low end. Low end. That's giving big Bangkok Grand Palace.

You can't walk on the grass there and they've got whistles and they whistle at you. Oh, is it? It's lovely grass. We had a security guy tell me that he had called the Australian Federal Police at Sydney Airport

as my husband, who is a plane nut, had stopped the rental car because he believed you could see a very interesting view of a Qantas plane that was being worked on. And he took some photos. They turned up three vans blocking our way rental car because they thought he was trying to get photos of aeroplanes to identify weak points I don't know to terrorise them oh

yeah right to get there just a plane nerd yeah okay almost got thrown in a Bosnian jail because my wife

got lippy to a border security guard in Bosnia we're not doing that are we god sometimes you do want to get lippy to people

and you just you've got to bite your tongue because it's not worth it America especially it's not like it is at home yeah a friend a friend got caught trespassing at the pyramids You've got to bite your tongue because it's not worth it. America especially. It's not like it is at home. Yeah.

A friend got caught trespassing at the pyramids in Egypt, arrested and thrown in an Egyptian prison, got appointed a lawyer who basically told them to do exactly what I say and say exactly what I say in the local language. My worst nightmare. Oh, my God. Having to phonetically repeat something in a completely unknown language. Anyway, got away with it.

Even better, had a piece of their pyramid in the bag, which was missed. That is now on their fireplace all the way back in New Zealand. You can't take the pyramid. No, you can't do that. If everyone takes a piece of the pyramid, there's going to be no pyramids left. They do it to the Taj Mahal too.

When you go there, it's like all these little chips out of it. People taking the white marble. Oh, don't take the chips to the Taj Mahal too. When you go there, it's like all these little chips out of it. People taking the white marble. Oh, don't take the chips of the Taj Mahal. It was a tomb in a dedicated castle to his beautiful wife. I know. That's why the Oguni carrots got a big chunk out of the side. People have been taking bits and bits and bits out of it. Or some people actually thought it was a carrot.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, it's very naughty. The naughty, naughty, naughty. Someone went to prison. Yeah. Why?, it's very naughty. Naughty, naughty, naughty. Someone went to prison. Yeah. Why? Is it the London one?

Or I got a couple of prisons. Yeah, London. I got caught handing ecstasy to a friend in a club in London. Got convicted of dealing Class A drugs in a 12-month sentence. Spent six months in a youth offenders institute. Not a great way to finish my OE. Oh my God. You don't want that.

There was someone else that was, I bought this CBD chewing gum in the UK and had to stop over in the USA and they got sniffed out over someone's chewing gum. American borders scare the shite out of you. Got interrogated for ages over a pathetic pack of gum. American airports and security and that. Yeah, it's full noise.

Yeah, hell yeah. Travelling around Europe on a bus trip, we need to go toilet and we're at a border and a group of us girls went way across the paddock. Next thing you know, we were being shouted at. Dogs were running towards us. Men with guns were charging. And they, because they thought we were trying to like...

Oh, skip the border. Skip the border and jump across into the next country. Oh my God. No, no, no, just wet your pants. I'd probably just wet my pants. I'd wet my pants. Yeah. Absolutely just wet my pants.

I'd soil them. I'd soil them through and through. I would even soil myself out there as men with guns and dogs charged at me through some sort of European paddock. If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review.

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