ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st May 2026

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

On Today's Big Pod, 00.00: Intro 03.45 :Bunnings get your onions up to code 09.10: How to calm yourself before a date 13.25 :Top 6 - Ways to make your school ball cheaper 19.35: Vaughan's a rugby VIP 24.25: SLP - Do you put toilet paper down first before using? 30.44: Everything is chips  34.50: Suzy Cato Interview 44.37: Have you been scammed overseas? 52.50: Friday Flashback 57.00: Hayley has a problem with her show 1.01.50: Devil Wears Prada Review 1.08.00:Fact of the day 1.13.00: Have you cheated death 1.26.00: AnonyBox - What is your number 1.35.00: What was the rouge parenting move? 1.41.50 Traits that make you the perfect travel partnerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

from the ZM Podcast Network. This is Fleshwood and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands of the lowest prices. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Fawn and Haley, happy Friday. Thanks.

I just went overnight to the Bahamas. I can tell. You've got it and your hair and your skin. Are both darker today. It sounds like someone's going to be on a televised comedy show tonight. It does feel that way, doesn't it? Yeah. First, I may kick off the whole comedy fest, officially.

Yeah, so the gala tonight in Auckland, and then you'll be Wellington tomorrow, Christchurch Sunday. Yeah, I've got to tell you, and you don't have to come and see me in the Comedy Fest. That's fine. Wellington, please do. There are tickets available. The world is so miserable at the moment,

and there's so much doom and gloom. Go out and have a laugh. And there are so many funny comedians here. Hundreds of them. Yeah. We've got comedians from overseas, support local ones. We've got to laugh. If we don't laugh, we cry.

Yep, exactly. ComedyFestival.com. That's a free plug to them. Hopefully they put a little glass of wine in my green room tonight. Free fuel coming up at 8 o'clock this morning. Got some drama yesterday, if you missed it. The video on our social media, FBHZM, dog move. Dog move.

It just repeated $230, $230 to it, and then it buzzed out. I do often think that people must assume that we know the amount or whatever. No, and when you watch that video, it's a blind play. just shocked. Shocked like everybody else. So, yeah, she missed out. I did say she commented as well.

Yeah. What did she say? She commented on the video. What did she say? Don't move. Don't move. Just a FML, I think. FML.

Yeah. Gosh. And people wanting her to have like another shot. Yeah. Well, she can call up. Well, yeah, good luck. You guys want to congratulate me. On what?

What's happened on? Guys, I told you. It's happened. What's happened? Congratulations. Congrats. Yes. Bourne Smith.

Congratulations. Hockey coach. Oh, we won. God, why did you say yes to this? We won, baby. Two-one. What was your contribution to the win? Yelling heaps.

Go, God. And subbing. It's so hard when you're, like, trying to watch the game and, like, scream pointless things and also put subs on and stuff. Yeah. Well, that's the same thing happened.

I was a great. I was absolutely bloody, bucket by the end of this. I bet you were. I was absolutely, I'll tell you. I was rude. Well, congrats,

congratulations. The top six, when you've got that coming up? Well, school balls. I always remember them being the bane of my parents' existence. Oh, really? Even in the 90s, they weren't free.

Yeah, no, they weren't. Because my dad... The Queen Margaret College one was full noise. Yeah, well, by the time I was 16, I was already bigger than my father, so I couldn't wear his wedding suit, which he held on to. It's a big unit of Smithy.

He ate. He ate. He ate. He never stopped. I remember the last time my dad smacked me. He kind of looked. me eye to eye because it's the same pite as him. He's like, that's not going to work anymore, is it?

I was like, nah, nah. It's not. I reckon it hasn't worked for the last six months, but have that. Yeah, have it. I sort of like it now, I'll be honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To be honest, I think I'm developing a moose back. But my parents were always just like, oh.

Because it's expensive. Yeah, well, if it was expensive in the 90s, it is insane now. Just fake petrol. If it was expensive in the 90s, it'll blow your bloody socks off now. Yeah. So one school. The school's cost for their school ball has hit the news and

yeah, it's got people talking. Because I suppose what are we May? It's always like July, August, that's the school ball season. So the top six today. Keep prices down. Keep prices down. Nice. Keep prices down. The Fletchbourne and Haley, big pod. Huge debate on Reddit.

Crank and hot debate. The voices of Australia are speaking very loudly about the humble bunning sausage sizzle onions. Wait, well let's not tarnish the New Zealand and humble hardware store sausages all because, you know, I'm a 10 man myself. Yeah, they do the saucy sense, don't they? They've got the one outside. They've got

the big proper set up the little situation. Yeah, the little, under a little pegola. Yeah. Yeah. It's lovely. It's going to say gazebo. What's the difference? Well, you can't say that anymore. Gay Zibo. You can't say Gasebo. Vezbo. Yeah, well, just Zibo. I'm all happy to call it a Zibo. I'm willing to

cancel. Man, it's 612. As a hetrazybo, I'm happy. You can't say hetra-zebo either because you're exploding. It's just a zebo. Well, I'm saying I'm a hetra-zebo. I think zebuality is fluid. I think we're all a little gay zeno. I'm pan-zbo.

I just want anyone in. I don't see whatever it is. You'll show to anybody from a light shower. Love is love, yeah. Regardless of what they're doing to whoever. Exactly. So the debate is around not so much the sausages. We know the sausages.

We're happy with the sausages. The bread, it's white, it's margarine. The sauce, I'm okay. It can be can be whaties, it can be whatever. The mustard, just your standard American. It's the onions with a G in the middle. Why do people have a, I mean, just don't get onions? So someone said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not whether or not two have onions. Okay. It is the state of the onions. Apparently in Australia, I don't want to say, again, New Zealand. This is why I'm saying we should distance ourselves. Distance ourselves. Yeah. We've got great onion.

In Australia, the debate is that the onions, The Bunnings sausage sizzle are pale and flavourless and often a bit crunchy in the wrong way. Well, dear listener, 966966, if you've had a Bunnings or a Mid-10 snag recently with onions. And were they up to standard? 9-6-96.

Caramilised. Burnt, caramelised. So you like yours to the point of crispiness. Yes, almost like a shallot. Okay, so dried out. Thin? Yep, thin. Thin.

You're a thin, scorched, brown and gooey. Yes, gooey. Now we're talking. Did I ever tell you that time I chopped up a whole lot of onions and just put them in the crop pot for the day and just walked away? Like French onion soup almost. Dude, it's just jelly, just onion jelly.

Oh yeah. We were away with a group of friends. Even my friend Gemma, who's just like anti-unions, was like, I can kind of get behind. I can't have been. So the debate started a guy said that the pale flavorless and often a bit crunchy, not crunchy because they're burnt crunchy

because they're raw. They're being rushed, he said. He suggested that government intervention is needed here where the government funded caramelized onion class if you are to host of bunions are so slimy and crunchy, undercooked. To caramelise the onions on the barbecue, do you have to add sugar?

Or butter brown sugar? No, no, no, no, no, you don't have to. The sweetness of the onion will come out if you do it's low and slow. Long enough. But you've got to do it on like a solid plate, not a grill. That plate's probably got one temperature and it's hell hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's why they've got a constant of getting them saucies moving because they're going to get roaring the middle burnt on the outside. Right. That's what they say. They say the blame is frozen pre-chopped onions that are holding on to water, making them pale and lifeless. Because you've got to be ready to go. Well, so the other problem is the consistency is every time there's a different community group cooking the sausages.

I know, this is the government intervention here. You've got Justine from, you know, the local netball club with all of her girls. And then you've got Susan from the Highland Dancers. And then you've got Jeff and he's got, you know, the under 19 rugby team. Karen's trying to get rid of some puppies that will otherwise be euthan. Exactly. So they say it's the frozen element. them in if you're getting their bagged frozen onions,

which I don't think we do it. Not at Mata 10. I've seen the onion skins around. No, you cook them. I will happily volunteer my time to chop up a bag of onions to save anybody having to use frozen onions. And they say the other thing is just not enough

time on the plate. That's what gets the caramelisation. Yeah, right. Okay. Someone said some solutions online from Reddit. Okay. B.Y.O. onions. If you're heading to Bunnings

or might a 10 hours. And ask you some time on the grill? No. No, no, you've pre-caramilise them. No. Now, defenders have said volunteers are doing their best for charity. Please cut them some slay. Yeah, this is the thing, yeah.

Yeah. How thick do you like your onions cut? I don't mind. It's all about time on the grill. Because I like a chunkier onion. I like a chunky onion. Sometimes in a recipe where it calls for diced onions, I'll just slice. Same.

Because I like to know that the onion's there. A semicircle. Yeah. I like a semicircle. Yeah, I don't true. This is why we get along. Onions could be the base of the syringe. It could be, it could be the core of it.

So yeah, that's the debate. It's great that we're sort of getting to the core of some serious issues, you know. Yeah, good. I think time on the grill is to blame. Yep. And so if you, this might, you know, it's the weekend tomorrow. Yeah, if you're in a community group and you're fundraising your saucies. Get there a little earlier and get those onions on first.

Get them nice and caramelised. But then what if they get to the point of perfect cooking and you got, and you haven't had any customers yet? You've got to stall them off the grill and it's going to start getting slimy. That's all right. Have a system. nearby, get them in there. Not a plastic, putting a hot onion in a plastic,

could release whatever's. No, no, no, glass of steam. I have them nearby, get your caramelized onions in there. You can pop them back on the grill. Problem solved. Problem solved. The flesh morning, Haley, big pod. Nerve-wracking.

A lot of people get very nervous before going on a date, you know? What could go wrong? It could be awkward, what if you don't get along, you've got to do a weird sort of like, I'm going to go thing. It's very nerve-wracking. I always get nervous sometimes. You've got a lot of stories about, dates, haven't you, a new comedy show?

Sproul on the prow, Haleysprow.com for tickets. Did you ever get nervous? Yeah, definitely. It's just that first few minutes for me that's always a bit awkward that you're like, oh God, what if they just are awful?

And then I'm such a people pleaser, so I'd never be like, you know, have one drink and be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go. I sort of see the night through. Yeah, do you talk in your comedy show about making these guys like four-course... I do. Yeah, good.

I got called out for cooking hookups, literally. You're here for one sole purpose, you know, a nice three-course meal, spending hours of questioning and getting to know them and supplying them with homemade cocktails. Jesus. I know. I've never been a hookup person before. Anyway, so according to a relationship expert, here is how you can keep yourself under control and keep those nerves at bay.

before you maybe put on your final touches, like your makeup, your lipstick or, you know, your shirt or whatever, before you're going to this day, what you can do is you're going to play with yourself? To completion. Okay, what? I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting some breathing, you know, like,

and then out. Yeah, breathing, but they say a tactical... Okay, yep. Fiddle. Yeah, what is that, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, call? Warren, don't come around here with your smart, please. No, I'm not.

You've been very smutty this week. I haven't. You asked me to write the paragraph. By the way, I've been approached by multiple publisher houses. Have you? Yeah, I have. Which ones? Penguins.

Penguins. Yeah. Harper Collins. Okay, yep, yep. So it's not just, because there is an idea that, one, it may help you make a more informed decision about whether or not you're going to sleep with him on the first day. Oh, yeah, the post clarity.

Yeah, yeah, post. And then you just end up canceling the date because you're like, nah. I saw that's all I really was here for anyway. So it's more than just that. It's more than that. And for some gentlemen, I know that they'll do it so that when maybe if they do come to a hook up,

it doesn't happen so fast. Yeah, that's the name I'm trying to think of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you work on that about. You work on that. There's a number of reasons. So the big O, does internally reduce stress.

It's very good for us, right? So it reduces stress. It helps your whole entire body relax. You're releasing dopamine through the body. So you can just, you're feeling a little bit more chill. Why have you been so stressed this last year? Pre-baiting is what it's called? Oh, pre-baiting.

I haven't heard that one. Pre-baiting, yeah, that's one of the names. It's not the name I've thought of, but. It can help if you are going for a hookup and eat because you make you feel a little bit flirtier, a bit naughtier. Okay. So you are coming in, feeling a little bit more maybe sexually empowered. It improves your body positivity so you can feel a bit hotter

and feel a little bit more confident. Like I'm an attractive sexual being here. Okay. It can lead to better engagement in the bedroom with this person because you know what you like and you're sort of feeling a lot more confident and have a good relationship with your own body and understand yourself a little bit more.

So it's more, it just sort of like takes the edge off. We don't say that word here. I'm so sorry, it takes the cusp off. Takes that cusp off of those nerves. Takes the rim off. I don't think we mentioned the word rim in this break. No, give that a... So I've already, I think I've danced around this quite well.

The precipice. It takes the precipice of the nerves off. So if you're going out on a date this weekend, Weekend's always big for dates. Yep. I have a little toy with these. There you go. The ZN Podcast Network.

From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Whenever I see a story, I came in a little hot there on the end. But hot there. Whenever I see a story like this, I'm always like, the journalist who wrote this knows someone that knows a parent

that goes to the school, and it's like totally one of those stories born out of just catching up with your mates at the weekend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And here and she's like, I'm going to write a story about it. I want to do a little because it's that time of the year. So this comes to us from the New Zealand Herald. Chowler.

Big fat Kjora. The headline reads, Auckland School Ball tickets at $230. Parents lash out at soaring cost. Rachel Mayer writes about the O'Rewa College. Parents at O'Rewa apparently outraged at the obscene price tag of $230 just to attend the ball. The mother with twins says I'm going to be paying. Twins.

$500 on tickets. I mean, that doesn't even include any of the associated costs. That's a great reason not to have kids, Haley. I mean, my page is full. I don't really need. I don't have another sort of line free for reasons for me not to have kids.

I know they're the joy of your life. You're going to have a couple of these to pay for soon? I'm not looking forward to the school board mostly because I'm not going to be able to keep my shit together. I will up. Yeah. I had to dance with my dad to Moon River at mine. It was very formal.

Do you know under the sea? No, no. It was just like, we did a, we did two. Because I was the year of 07. Yeah. Our theme was. 007. 007.

A classic. A classic. That aside, like even the tickets, if you've got one kid, that's $230. Yeah. Then you've got like either the dress, yeah, makeup, nails, dress. Tats. Or suit hire, shoes, bags, limousine, how you getting there? Yeah.

In this article, it says Papua Cura High cancelled their ball two years running due to low ticket sales because people were just like, I'm paying that. Then it came back, capped it at 90 bucks, everyone happy with it. Yeah. Yeah. So school ball season's on the horizon.

I've got the top six ways to keep your costs down at your school ball. Number six on the list. Have it cowboy themed. Cheap theme. How's that cheap? How's that cheap? How about it's to sit on? Yeah, but then you've got to get a bucking ball?

You don't have to. You don't have to. You don't have to. Cowboy theme. Everyone's going for classy themes Make it a little bit more relaxed Everyone has a cowboy hat Yeah

Two dollar shop, pink one, sparkly Oh no, it's not a bloody hens do mate That's what I'm thinking it's giving hens do It is giving hens do Number five on the list of the top six ways To keep the prices down at the school ball Everybody should be blindfolded

That way no one can see each other So it doesn't matter what you look like All in the dark Yeah It's not a bad idea that one actually That's actually not bad Yeah That's actually not good

Number four on the list of the top six ways To save costs at your school ball Mum will take the official ball photos on her iPad. Oh, perfect. Yes. Perfect. Yeah. Get in there.

She'll run out of storage halfway through, but she'll be able to take those on her iPad. Oh, God. And then she'll have to email them. That's going to take a while. Yeah, drop them. I don't know how to do that. No, I'll just email them later. I'll pop them in a drop box.

Number three on the list of the top six ways to keep costs down for your school ball. Have it in the school hall. That's what we did. Morans of College. It blew my mind when I met kids from other high schools and they're like, we had our ball at a convention centre I know ours was like the Michael Fowler Centre

Yeah ours was in the Morinsville College Hall Yeah it was always in the school hall Yeah That blew my mind coming to Auckland Everyone was like oh we're having it At the Ellis Lee Convention Centre Yeah yeah yeah yeah

What are you Armageddon? Yeah What are you Armageddon? Good from him He is the funniest one of the show Really good That was a funny line Yeah

What are you Armageddon Number two on the list Of the top six ways To keep cost down for your school ball, have one of your dads be the DJ? Yeah, not bad. It would have all the music. All the classic dad songs.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's good, eh? Yeah. He'll chuck a couple of funny ones in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some cotton-eye joes and whatnot. Chicken dance. He'll chuckler chicken dance on.

He's not afraid of chocolate. Crazy Frog, one of his favorites. And number one in the list of the top six ways to keep you cost down at your school ball. A preload. God, it's expensive to drink a balls. You want to do all your drinking before. We're not encouraging that. We didn't have a bar.

No, don't some schools do breath tests? Yeah, yeah, they do breath tests. Wait, the producers are like, you had breathalisers at all your school balls. Yeah, I went to about six school balls. I went to all the ones around, so I went to a fancy one at Eden Park, and we got breathalized there.

At Eden Park? That's crazy, man. It was a weird place for a ball, though, because it was nighttime, so you couldn't see. It was just a hall, essentially. Yeah, we actually got Eden Park News next. Do you? On the show, I've got some Eden Park News to show with you,

what are you? What are you, Armageddon? What are you, the All Blacks? No, hers was better. Yeah, no, you didn't need it. I think hers was better. You didn't need it. You're not anything you are.

Armaged's just. Yeah, it's really good. It's really good. Really good, guys. Really good. What about your ball, Carwin? You were breathalized here as well. Look, my personal school, I didn't go to a fancy school.

The first one was at McLean Park, which is the Eden Park of Hawks Bay. Ron. What are you? Armageddon. We're back. He's back, baby. He's back. But I did go to a fancy one with a boy.

school that was at like a very nice winery that used to be a church. What are you, Tom Jones? This is ridiculous. But there was breath testing at that one. There was also fake horse racing. It was very fun. Fake horse racing. Yeah, they played an old horse race on some screens and then we bet on it.

But it was like an old race. What? An old horse race? What if someone had the results? What the fuck? It wasn't real money. It wasn't real money. What if someone had a sports omenack from 1985. What are we encouraging here? Drinking. No, one of these balls at $230.

Carlis school was just stoked no one was wearing gang patches. No, truly. That was reiterated. Yeah, please no gangpatches. All right, that's the day's top six. The Z&M Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley.

I received an email. This is my Eden Park News. Okay. I've been formally invited by the interim chief executive of New Zealand rugby. Excuse you. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Ex. Canterbury rugby player Steve Lancaster. Kowler. Has invited me formally to the All Blacks versus Ireland at Edom Park.

Did you get this email, Haley? I didn't get this email. To take my place at the World Cup lounge. What? He's been divided to the lounge. I mean, I got invited to a blues game. How did you get invited to a race? Rugby gay. Ten-arque have worn.

Oh, ten-a-quare. Ste. The Irish should return to Aidan Park and we're delighted to invite you to join us in the New Zealand rugby VIP lounge. What kind of... Presented by Gallagher Insurance for another epic battle from the All Blacks. This is probably because... I think the same people that make the swipe door that doesn't work on my phone. Oh, it is.

Or no, it's for Gallagher Insurance. If they branched out from... We should go out and chuck our phones. Haley can swipe in by holding a phone up to the door. This is true. This is... I think this is some kind of... discrimination here because the other day

we were doing something and I picked up your phone and I was like, that's okay. Didn't work, couldn't get around the building. I'm going to email them. I'm going to turn my phone at them. You need to reinstall the app perhaps. No, because then have to email them. Don't poo-poo Gallagher any branch of the Gallagher business because you've been invited.

You might ruin my invite. And I don't want it redacted. I don't want my invite redacted. 18th of July, you guys won't be in the country. This teaches you're right. We're taking our mid-year break then. a new tour off to Europe and I can't afford it so I'm not. Well we might

not be because there might not be any fuel for the planes but also 18th of July we'll be boringly in the air like that's not a cool she's about to be like yeah you know we'll be in the med or something cool like that no no no we'll be in the sky well I've been invited the lounge opens at five the game starts at 17 two hours to

God Gerd your bloody bar how did you get invited I don't know how he got invited How are you on some list Steve's heard of my triumphant return to coaching and our win last night. To one. To sportsman to sportsman to sportsman. He's come to me and he's so we'd love to have you there.

And I get to take a plus one. He probably wants those rock hard insights on social media of a hard launch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring your hot girlfriend there. Can you please bring your ethically ambiguous hot new girlfriend? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you turn it with some like ming a mate instead.

That's not what we're looking for. I mean, we thought you. We thought you'd read between the lines here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd bring in the hot. I wanted to wrap some eyes around there. So is that why you think you've been invited? But you don't like rugby, you like league.

I'm a leg man. Maybe they're trying to convert me. You should wear your waz jersey. Well, it's against the Irish. And, you know, I've got a passionate heritage with my Irish ancestry. Can you wear an all black's top of drink in us? Well, they're both black, aren't they? I guess.

Oh, that's the best of both worlds, I guess. All black's top. How did you get on some VIP corporate box list? I hate when they separate us. It is weird When only one of the three of us gets an invite If you get invited somewhere That's fine

You're your own entity And also part of this pie Thank you for recognising that But it is weird When Bert Nourney get invited to things separately Yeah What's happened there? Yeah

Fletch, maybe they think that you're not a I'll say a hard man Oh that I'm Maybe they think you're bit of a pansy Oh no A puffter A bit of a puffer

A bit of a puffer No I don't think they would exclude In this modern age I believe you'd find Unbelievable. And New Zealand rugby you'd find more than your future.

I think I'd go to ice hockey now. I'm into that now. Are you? For some reason, I'm not sure why, but I do feel drawn to the sport. That plays out, that plays with Avondale ice rink all the time. There's like quite a...

Is it a drink and Avondaleigh? Yeah, dude. It's there. Carwin's nodding ahead. Paradise Ice is that what is that? Because there's one out of east statement. We're not going out of east. It just looks like anything out there would melt.

Yeah, it's swampy. And we're still kind of just swampy and yark. It just would melt. Where's the east? Everywhere. I don't venture out of the city much more. Well, it's not just outdoors. It's not outdoors.

It's an enclosed sort of refrigerated space. Well, we can go to some ice hockey games. Well, I look forward when we return from our mid-year break to hear all about this corporate box. You're probably going to see some bigwigs there. Yeah, and don't embarrass yourself on. I won't embarrass it. There's an open tab and there's open catering. You know, it'll be hogging.

Yeah, I'll be just have some stuff. I won't wear a white shirt. Yeah You wear a black shirt. Black shirt would be great for hiding the stains when I drop the little money bags. Yeah, the money bags

squirts, Dews down in. Yeah, corporate boxes and money bags. Do they? They have all those deep fried Thai... Yeah, we had a corporate box

each year and remember and there were money bags. Yeah, they have all the Thai nibbles. Sometimes they have Thai fish cakes. Oh, yeah, they had Thai fish cakes. And sometimes they may even have an errand chino. Thai need to get it tight, the Thai cuisine needs to get into a tapus

vibe, eh? Like a... Thai tapas. Like Thai tapas. Like Thai tapas. It just... Hard to finger noodles. When weight is watering around, walking around.

Fung some pad tie down here. Play Z-Ns, Fleshhorn and Haley. Flaught so silly. For silly little pile, we want to know if you put a little bit of toilet paper down in the toilet before you used the toilet. I was thinking about this yesterday because we had that meeting. Yes. And I had to pop out to use the bathroom.

Yes. And without getting into too much detail, I put some toilet paper down. And I wonder if I'm the only one that does the... No, I'm always. And what I'll do is they'll give it a little... A little flush, a little, just to get the bowl wet. So if there's some sort of skid, it washes up easier at the end of the piece too. So you're not poop it into a dry bowl.

Yeah, no, never poop into a dry bowl, guys. Interesting. It's a bit of a life motto of mine. In America, though, where the water level is crazy high. Oh, yeah. You kind of, I mean, you can do it there, but you need a lot more toilet paper. You've got to be quick, otherwise it'll sink. Oh, yeah.

So you're doing it to muffle the noise and splash. It's just, yeah. See, I'll do it sometimes before I pee as well If I don't want it to be a noisy pee into a toilet Oh, okay Yeah Feel somewhere Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

Or I'll do that for sure So you don't get a horse pitil Yeah, I'm a very courteous midnight, will you? Yeah, good on you That's nice So we asked, before using the toilet Do you drop some paper into the water?

21% of people say yes, always 40% only if someone is around And 39% no, never Okay So just slightly only if someone is around and then no never and then yes always is a minority at 21 percent i gotta say when we ask this just on here we've said where this is going to be someone said nah dog it's 100% raw dog in it i need that poseidon's kiss now i

that's where the water splash is up and touches the anos that's what we're trying to avoid i mean i don't want toilet water splash in my anok i mean that's okay if it's at your home but when it's at work or a pump of toilet no i mean may as well go and get all your hip shots you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. Sorry. Some other messages and someone said, yeah, we do it that when my kids call it the poo pillow.

Nice. We call it the fireman's blanket. And somebody else said, we call it the splash pad. Because it does, as a male, when you're urinating into a ceramic bowl, it reduces the splashback. Do you piss on the side or down the water? T's on the ball. Right where the side meets the water.

Yeah, same. That's what I was taught as a child. You can still get splashes, so it is better to put some TP in there. A little bit of T. Yeah. Okay, well, some feedback on it. No one wants the kiss of Poseidon, always put down a landing pack. So someone wants the Poseidon's kiss.

Someone doesn't want the kiss of the episode. No, because I don't like a, what's the thing? Splashback. No, what's the actual bidet? I don't like the feeling of the water on their nose. But that water's clean. Yeah. I don't know they're talking about the water sitting in the bowl,

especially for ladies, you wouldn't want a urinary retract infection. God, no, it's so delicate down there. It's a delicate balance. It's a delicate balance. It's a wrong way and you're paying for it for weeks. Of a course of the doxy, isn't it? A moxy. Doxies, your skin glows.

Getter says, because you hold some paper to put the seat down, oh, yep, yep, and then just drop that in. Oh, yeah, okay. You're getting two for one there. Someone whose Instagram handle is Serial creep, no actual name, said, no way. Because having the turds sitting above the water stinks, I just try and do a big cough every time my poop's about to plop into the water. Right, so that's saying if you do a pad of toilet paper and then the purse sits on top of the stink escapes,

whereas if it goes underwater, I mean, that's a fair call. But everyone knows the big cough trick. Yeah. It doesn't work. And sometimes when you do a big cough, you force out the cough, you also force out a follow-up fart.

Yeah. To me, it's not about the muffling the sound. It's just the fact I don't want the water splashing. Right. I would go for sound muffling. Lucy, seems to point us it's a poop. Why are you giving it a gentle landing, lulling it into a false sense of security

before you flush it? I'm not thinking of the poop's feelings. I'm thinking of my own. Right, yeah. Rachel, only because I have a weird habit of wiping the toilet seat with toilet baby, but then putting it in the toilet even at my own house. Oh, even at your own house, you wipe the seat. God no.

It's mine. Vicky said, only at work. I need something to master sound of the morning dump. Classy. Classy. Vicky. I'm Vicki. Vicki.

That was great from Vicky. I can't like that, Vicki. That really tickled me. Carl says, often I batter the fish when I go and drop paper first. serves a big clean up afterwards. Now, I better the fish. Better the fish. I don't understand what's happening, what he means.

Often I'll better the fish. When I go and drop the paper first, saves a big clean up after. Better the fish, mini flush? I don't know. In the work toilets, yes, because also, why are there no brushes in the toilet at work? Oh my God. It's like hotels never have a brush. I know, and I'm doing things in hotels.

I know. I know hotels are unsightly thing to see a toilet brush, but have it somewhere. Just have an elegant one. You can have an elegant one. It is hard to find an elegant toilet brush. I've got a real nice one. Mine's brass.

Mine's brass. Remember when I convinced us all to get those rubber ones? Yeah, they're terrible. Dude, I got rid of them recently. I was just like, I'm so sorry I ever recommended them. I know.

I understood where you were coming from. Yeah, the poo get stuck. The poo get stuck. On my silicone brush, toilet brush lasted like two months. I was like, no, this is not good. No, it's terrible. Yeah.

All right, yeah. Get a good one. Kate says, I don't even know why this would be necessary. Well, Kate, please see previous conversation and all valid points touched upon. And Mack said, I don't give a shit when I need to shirt my priorities and making it to the toilet.

Sounds like he hits him fast. Yeah. Fair enough. It hits him fast. So for today's salute at the pile before using the toilet, do you drop in some paper into the water? Only 21% of you are always doing it. Play, that ends. Fleshhorn and Haley. So producer Shannon, she has been on a journey of food as of late.

She is branching out from the dairy chicken and has been trying some new recipes She's got a crockbar When you say dairy chicken For those that don't know She lives in an apartment building And downstairs there's a dairy And they sell chicken

When we were going to do the city rail look We drove past And Shannon's like Oh oh oh it's my dairy It's my dairy Yeah, point out That's right by the chicken That's where she gets her chicken breast

Because you don't see it from a car very often No No no Why I never car Always on foot Yeah Single breast Yeah single breast is like four dollars

It's so good That's been in a cage Say driving past that dairy. I don't know if I'd buy chicken from there. Even a pie looks dodgy. I'll say it. Yeah, it feels like that the mints would be coagulated. I've never had food poisoning from there.

Do you know what? This is actually true. Yeah, fair call. This is true. But no, so as I told you guys, I've been trying to make corn fritters recently. I'm on fifth edition of corn fritters. Now, did you do for Patsy's trick of the cornstarch? I bought cornstarch this week. It was on sale for $2.

I said I can risk that, you know? What is cornstarch do? Makes it crisper. Gives it a real snap. Yeah, so I think I'm getting there. Last night I had corn fritters with mints on top. Because I was like, well, that's flavor. Yeah, I'm savoury.

You're actually not mad. Yeah, but anyway, guys, I have made the greatest discovery in the universe. Get ready for... Like gravity. Here we go. It's better. Salt and vinegar seasoning. Cullies has a shaker of salt and vinegar.

Everything I eat now is just chips. Yeah, I remember Culley's. Everything you eat now is just chips. Everything I... I'm like, I'm going to eat some carrots, salt and vinegar carrots. I'm going to eat some salad. It's now chips, cabbage, carrots, kale. Everything I eat is chips.

Cullies do do good seasoning. I'm with you on it. Callies do great. Their sauces, they're mixes. Have you heard their little thing of MSG? Yes, yes. So that's where they started. That's where this started because I noticed they had MSG and I was like, well, that makes things yummy.

And as someone who can't cook, I was like, well, I'll just add that to everything. And then, so now I've discovered salt and vinegar seasoning and I think this is just a hack of life because every food is now chips. Yeah, every food is now chips. Every food is now chips is great. That's what you should have in a richmond called everything is now chips.

Yeah, also it is a lot of salt, so you're adding a lot of salt to everything. Yeah, but on carrots. Yeah, yeah, but that's like saying strawberries, you know, with chocolate on top. Yeah, but I could just have chocolate. I thought salt was, we were okay with salt. again. I mean, not too much. How much do we need? I don't think you want too much sodium. I don't know. I don't count my sodium.

I've gone through like half a shaker this week. Do you bloat when you have too much salt? Okay, that's too much. I think that's too much. I'm pouring my fifth whiskey of the night and I'm like, I don't know how much soda should be having. Yeah. He needs to me with a cigarette. Oh, you're going to pull back on that salt, man.

You're getting to get it. I don't know. I'm putting so much on that when I put it on it, so I cut up carrots to make chips. That the carrots are now eating it. Everything is chips. Everything is chips. The carrots get wet. Like there's so much salt that's pulling out the moisture.

Hell yeah. That's too much. That's a right amount of salt. Well, this is just a little pseudo life hack. Everything is chips, man. Everything is chips. And that's just the beauty. I think we're going to half our portion.

We're going to do a quarter of a bottle a week. Okay. Yeah, I can live with that. We're all cutting back on everything that's not the best for us at the moment. Everything is chips. You know, I've been pulling back on coffee, tequila. I love Haley. She's like, I'm pulling back on having one or two coffees a day,

but not like four hours sleep. And pulling back on tequila. I don't know quality tequila was universally agreed as one of the better alcohols for you. Yeah, but I haven't told you how much I've been consuming. Yeah, so we're doing a little bit less. So we're pulling back, we're pulling back on sodium and all the bad things. The doctor, I went to the doctor, I was like,

didn't even ask me about my drinking. I thought that was very, you know, neglectful. I thought he was very neglectful. He knows the answer. He knows a liar when he sees one as well. bother. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh forne and Haley.

It's our time. Kiyoda to Lopa. It's our time. A special time of day. On par, Susie, when you're somewhere in the world and someone says two teret amina, a wee. Oh, yeah.

Like, you know, that's how you can flush out the New Zealanders. Oh, yeah, it's in our DNA. Susie, I feel like this came, for you it wouldn't have, but this came out of nowhere for me when we get the news that the one, the only, Susie Cater, was back with more episodes of you and me.

After 2,000 episodes in the original. And then we were reading that going, no, you did it. How? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did you do 2,000 episodes? Well, I had a fantastic team around me, and basically I just swaned into studio

and saying, it's our time, and had fun and made Plato and all those sorts of things. Yeah. And we did that over five years. So for two weeks of every month, I flew to in Eden, and then flew home again, thought out and

Today it was a hub of television in the early in the late 90s. Incredible television for this. Yeah. Yeah. That's a shame because are they still making much television? They are but I mean look, Kiwis are really good at watching all kinds of content

that isn't necessarily from New Zealand. So we now have two platforms. We've got Kidogo and Kidogo Junior on YouTube which has a whole lot. It's the home of kids content. I'm going to have given my own channel, you and me, Z, go and subscribe now. Presubscribe, Susie, don't you why?

Well, look, I've already got a whole lot of content there from back in the day from 94-95. So tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock, I'm going to be moving into a new home. So slightly brighter colours, but you'll not hear that song. Slightly brighter. You were the brightness of the 90s. Well, I was just trying to look up the neon clothing brand. Cosmic.

Cosmic. Exeter C was also a brand at that time. I remember you were always wearing cosmic clothing and my mum had a cosmic clothing dress and I remember when she came home in it in the 90s I was like, oh my God, my mum's like as cool as Susie Cater. Like that, how cool was as cool. So why, like I know, because you've been, like everyone,

you didn't just finish you and me and then, you know, take all these years off and come back. You've been working with children's content and doing so many things over these years. But why specifically have you thought it's time for the return of the OG? So many parents have been saying to me, I wish there was something like you and me for our kids to watch now.

Just the other parents, right? That you helped raise. So there are. Yeah, I know. It's amazing. It's this whole full circle. Yeah. So, yeah, it was an ideal opportunity.

And I think the world needs a bit of a hug at the moment. Yes, yes. Kids are heading off to school without a great vocabulary. And without being able to sit still and things like that. And attention spans are so quick. I mean, all of our attention spans, we're scrolling in the wee small hours of the morning and those sorts of things. Just to have a conversation.

Just to say, Hello, my friend. How are you? And what colour is this? You know, all those sorts of things, with a pause for the kids to join in and be a part of something. And it's working because our editors are sending me little photographs

or little videos of their kids watching. They've never heard of me before. They've got to know who I do, yeah, who I am. And they're turning around and saying, Mum, green, kakeregi, you know, that kind of stuff. Which is just so heartwarming. It just absolutely love it. To be able to connect with a whole new generation.

But you never stop. Like I first met you when we were just talking about it off year when you did bake-off, celebrity bake-off. And, you know, the first thing people of my age want to do is sing with you. And there's never a moment where you ever show any kind of air of like, God, I've done this a hundred times today. That's what blows my mind.

You come in and you're so delightful and you're so happy to do it because you know how much it means to us. I mean, how do you keep it up? You've got your own life. Yeah, but it means that. so much to me as well. Yeah. And I look, when I was on television with 3pm

and we had all those letters come in, you know, competition, entries and all the rest of it. And then we had a couple asking for help. Three children had written in over a course of a couple, several months about being abused. And I went, cry, yeah, you know, I'm a children's television presenter. I don't deserve this risk, the people putting so much trust in me. The beautiful kids that I've never met, I try to resign.

and the executive producer said, no, let's help these kids. So that just put a whole new perspective on what we do as broadcasters. It's such an amazing opportunity that we have to connect with our audience, with our friends. It's the difference to people in it for the right reasons. Like that, what you've just said is very touching

and it's like a genuine connection versus somebody who's, you know, nowadays we just see people who want to be famous and want to have some online clout and stuff and it doesn't last. that burns bright and it burns half and they're gone. And so the longevity, that you're just showing that it's genuine, you right?

And that's what you're here for. Well, it's like, same with you guys. The way that you have conversations every morning with those that love them. Oh, Susie, we're not on the same level. You should have heard. Vaughn's been very rude this way. So, right.

Well, I'll never be rude again after that. Can I just say, I've just popped the text machine open. Yeah. There's so many amazing messages. Someone said her voice feels like, home, it's so true. People are hoping that when we leave, you're going to sing CSE you later, which of course. Of course, a lot of people just saying, someone said, oh my God, I had the maddest crush on Susie

when I was a kid. She taught me about gravity. Ask who what her favorite dinosaur is. Oh, my goodness, my favorite dinosaur. It's like choosing your favorite child. I mean, there's so many to choose from. They're all amazing in their own right, but I do love a Triceratops. and I don't even know if that's the correct term

because, yeah, that huge frill. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I have done. I love it, I'm sorry. I was thinking, you know, we grew up and now as adults we're going through it. A whole different experience that we were as children. Have you ever thought out of a series

on helping us through things like divorce? Lauren, what are you telling me? Yeah, I'm opening right up to your service. Oh, sweetheart. Yeah. I've not had that experience myself. Oh, okay, so, okay. Right.

I'm sure you could do some presents. It's just to show your advice isn't just stick it out, crunch it out. Well, hey, I've got a question then for your fabulous listeners. Hey, I'm thinking of doing a little bit of a tour and doing a show for the kids in the morning and then maybe a show for the big show. Susie, of course.

Everybody's so excited. Do you know what? One of the greatest nights out, the three of us have ever had was when we went to the adults only wiggle show. Oh yeah. And they don't do adult content. They just do the wiggle show for us. And we just were so filled with the joy we needed. Yeah. The adults, because we're so connected to you, you're so integral to our upbringing. Of course we would come and see you in droves. Amazing. Yes, there's a text machine by the way. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, we'll obviously get behind this and help you if you did that. Yeah, 100%. We would. Also, one amazing. messages I love that you've done from then till now is your beautiful use of Tareo Māori. Because, you know, there's a lot of our kids are watching a lot of American content and British content and Australian content where they don't get that. And you've always used it so seamlessly. Well, I grew up in Kaikwe. So, although I'm not fluent by any streets of the imagination, I'm just learning with the child, it feels like home to me as well. I mean, we are Kiwis. It's our second language. But you were doing it right from when people were

saying cow rat. You know, like you were always honoring the production. Was there much pushback? In like the 90s and stuff on that? No, there wasn't. There wasn't. I think that's good to hear. But it wasn't a lesson or anything like that.

It was just a dental inclusion in the conversation. So conversational teereo. So we had an amazing advisor who helped us with all that sort of thing. So and I'm learning and I'm still learning now. So we definitely have te rea. We're also starting to use sign language as well because another way of inclusion. losing everybody. Oh, that's our third national language.

By the way, you're ex-dancing with the star's partner, Matt's, message. He is beautiful. He said, this is the content we need, and I love you, Susie. And everyone's... And so many people messaging in about an adult show, so I wouldn't be worried about that because people want it. We just made be careful. We refer to it as an adult show.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's not the late-night version. Yeah, everyone's like, Susie, we couldn't ever... Susie's 90s babies. Yes, the 90s babies show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you and me is back, and it starts tomorrow.

10.m. 25 episodes a week. Gricky. I want to do that to you. 25 episodes weekly. Only 975 to go. Yay. No, 1975 if you did 2,000.

Thank you. Thank you. I just got a math complement. You've got to hit to YouTube and subscribe. And Susie, you're such a delight. A real honor to have you on the show. Oh, thank you. much for having me. See you. See you later. It's time to say you bye goodbye. See you, see you later. I've

really got to fly. See you, see you later. It's time for us to end. See you, see you later. I'll be back again. So long. See ya. In all hora. Goodbye, my friends. So good. Play. That ends. Flesh, Vaughan and Haley. We want to ask now, I'll 800,000M, and you can text her as well, 9-696. Have you been scanned overseas? Like when you've been travelling? Yeah, I wasn't scammed. I was scanned.

You know, I was walking down the street and someone had a card scanner. Oh. And they took money from my account of which, at the time, there was very little. And they drained my friend. And then the two of us went to Thailand on the way home, and we were like, where's it? Where's our money? Because, what, so they just had like a paywave machine. They had a little machine that they literally, the bank,

our banks ended up telling us it was probably that, they just walked past us. Because you always see those wallets and, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, lined with lead. Yeah, and they've got like a lining to stop that happening. But I'm always, oh, that just seems like a scam. Yeah. But it's not.

No. Yeah. So apparently scams, they've worked out in the past 18 months, there's been a rise by almost 900% in travel scam. probably due to the fact that there's a, you know, cost of living crisis and people are turning to crime. So you're going to be careful when you travel. In 2024 alone, they estimated 11 million pounds was lost to holiday fraud, so 22 New Zealand million.

Some of the scams, obviously pickpocketers, friendly pickpocketers. Friendly pickpocketers. Working in teams. Hello there. Like their friend comes up to you and maybe offers some help. And their friend pickpockets you. Distraction. Like the bird poo trick.

I've heard of this with like people squirting sauce on you. Sorry what? So they pretend to bird poo on your jacket. But I only. Oh my God, a bird's poo? Look, let me help. And while they're helping you, they're stealing your stuff. Yeah.

Yeah, photo helpers as well. Another one. Lots of scams. Fake taxi meters. Oh, yeah. Man, I've had that. Yeah, I've had that as well. When you're like, you know what, you know what you're going to

in a taxi in Thailand and you pull up to your hotel and they charge you four times as much. You're like, whoa. Yeah, I was in one in Vietnam and you could just literally see the Uber go, not the Uber, the taxi meter going, like ticking up real fast. And I'm like, stop, dude, I'm getting out. And then they, you know, get all out. And you're like, well, I'm not going to argue over $5, here you go, I'm out. Yeah, yeah, but I'm gone.

Yeah, yeah. So, oh, 800,000, we'd love to take your calls now. TX3, they're already coming through. when were you scammed overseas? We want to know when you've been scammed overseas and we're getting some crazy messages. Oh no. Someone got signed up for timeshare.

Oh no. Everybody knows you go to the timeshare presentation and you just leave the minute it's over and you get free tickets to something. Yeah, my friend and I went to a timeshare presentation like poor as anything on the Goldie and got a couple of Dream World tickets. So this person, Seawood on the Gold Coast

got a free ticket and the prize of free accommodation we had to go to some place to collect our prize and have a meet-up that cost $40, we'd get that back upon arrival. They said two hours. Four and a half hours later, my husband has signed us up for a $20,000 time share. We never use. Yeah, no, you don't want to sign up to that. Don't.

Don't. I mean, that's not a scam. You signed that. You got sucked. You got sucked. You got sucked. Kylie joins us. Kylie, when did you get scammed overseas?

Well, last year we went to Bali. Oh, yeah. Lovely. all been to Bali. We've hardly gone on about it, Kylie. We've hardly mentioned. Kylie, are you suggesting that these guys take me back to barley? We can't afford it.

He's happy now, Kylie. We're not happy more barley. We're not as flush as we were last time. And so how did they scam you there? So over there you've got the option to go to like a cash exchange that has like security and stuff like that. But every now and again you see those cash exchanges that are way cheaper rate. And they're just kind of like in a...

I wouldn't say a shack, but kind of like, you know, like those little shots that they have. They're in a shack, Kylie. They're in a shack. Yep. You can call it a shack. We went to one of those, and I was adamant. I was like, oh, there's my security cameras at the front. We should go to another one.

But my partner was adamant. He wasn't walking any further. And we ended up exchanging some money. We went back to the hotel to put most of it in the safe. And as he was counting it, he was like, no, that's wrong. And so he counts it again on the bed, and he's like, no, there's like a thousand. $1,000 missing. And I was like...

Who's getting up that much cash in Bali, Kylie? This is silly, silly. I know, I know. I was travelling without my kids. I felt 20 years younger. Oh, you were 20 years silly. Oh, my. Yeah, naive.

And, yes. So we went back to the little shack. And I pretended to be like a hardcore New Zealand influencer and recorded the whole thing. Yeah, of course. I'm filming this for no one to watch. Yeah. And he was petrified of me and just gave us our money back. Oh, my God.

Amazing. Nice. So good. If you don't try. Yeah. God, well, you've learned your lesson there. What kind of stuff were you saying as a high-end New Zealand influencer? Oh.

My followers are going to be so unimpressed with this. You're not getting it. New Zealand is coming to Bali. Call her in the week. Call her in the week. This is so good, Kylie. I love that. So funny.

We're going to hook up with a chemist warehouse prize pack, home of the biggest brands at the lowest prices. Well done, Kylie, wait there. We'll sort that out. Keep your text coming in, 9-696. When we scammed overseas, we'll get to more of those next. Okay, quickly, some text messages. Do you get a scammed overseas?

Yeah, shocking. Some shocking scams going on. My partner and I were in Vietnam, went for a stroll around Ho Chi Minh, when two lovely men on motorbike stopped us and asked if we wanted the motorbike tour in the city for $50 New Zealand. It was a lovely afternoon, and they asked us at the end if we wanted to see.

stopped for a drink at their house. We went in and it was dodgy. That's when the alarm bells went asked us for their 500 New Zealand dollar payment. I wouldn't let us leave until we paid. Oh no. Because I didn't want to get murdered, I obliged, but it was a very upsetting first day in Hocchima. Yeah. I don't know if it. I always feel like a bit of a prick what I'm traveling, but I just ignore it all. You just know it's a scam. They're trying to sell you something, just ignore it. Like, don't feel bad. I know. Yeah. And a taxi in Vietnam, my partner, I told my partner how cheap the media was running and then the driver leaned over and turned it off. That's the thing. Never say out loud something's cheap. Yeah.

Yeah. Never say it. My partner, the driver lent over and turned it off and then tried to charge us $200 for the ride. I told him bullshit and gave my $100 note. He turned forward and then turned back to us and said, you only gave me a $10 note. So he'd switch to $100 with the 10. Yeah, that's one as well. What's a swearing and name calling on, told my partner to grab the bags and get out. He chased this to our apartment building with a security guard, stopped them and told him to go away. So dodgy. You're real dodgy. On an overland truck trip in Africa.

Okay, this is one of my bucket lists. Okay, this sounds good. Cross country truck trip through Africa, but obviously with the right people. I'm not doing it by myself. Look at this beautiful little face. Get in the life, babes. Oh, absolutely.

Got to a border and we gave our truck driver U.S. currency had to change for us all. She got back to the truck and thankfully checked. As she changed it, it was all counterfeit. No. Oh, counterfeit. She went back and dealt with it because it was fake. Yeah, right.

Did it get it resolved? Yep, yep, she went back. I paid $30 to watch a table tennis match in Thailand. They were not. They were not playing ping pong. At all. There were ping pong balls. But they said, ping pong.

Yeah, well, there were ping pong balls. We were in the Philippines. A group of 12 of us went out for a karaoke bar night. We were singing all night. We were a musical group. Oh my God, how punishing would it be to go with a group of theatre kids? I've been with one theater kid and she was. She was an absolute nightmare to go karaoke with.

Who? What? Not me, I'm fun. At the end of the night, they gave us the bill. We have been charged per song we sung throughout the entire night. And it was extreme. And I sing at least about 10. Yeah.

The ZAM Podcast Network. Play ZDM's FlashForn and Haley. Friday Flashback. Well, today's Friday Flashback. It's a coincidence because it is now a New Zealand Music Month as we celebrate our amazing Kiwi music. But some sad news this week that an Auckland icon, Verona Cafe.

Yeah, Verona Bar and Restaurant, which has been around, I believe, since like the 90s? Was it 90, early 90s? Beloved comedian and friend of the show, Justine Smith used to work there, and she talks about it so fondly, like just the best days. Pongs of Be Road. It was exactly that 90s,

Ponson B. No. 90s Pons. C. Road. Oh, sorry, K-Road. Oh, sorry. 90s K-Rode was a different sort of K-road. It was a hub of this eclectic

Auckland culture. Yeah, after 34 years in business, they posted that they are temporarily closing, but it does appear that there is a lot of money owed. So it's in liquidation. But I mean, maybe someone could take it over. Yeah. And it'll carry on.

I don't think it's changed since. Because I used to live near K-road. It's always had the speed. sparkly sign. It's always looked the same. You always see people out on the street, having a wine, having a chat, Verona. Well, yeah, and it's closed,

but it did give us a very iconic New Zealand song, and that is today's Friday flashback. A lot of people wouldn't know that this song was named after a literal cafe. I want to say the producers didn't know this song. Is that fair? Shannon didn't. You didn't know this song at all. No, I pitched it as a Haley's version.

I thought I came up with a real creative idea. My Verona. Yeah. She put in the song. My Sharona. No. There is actually a song called Verona. And it is, because of this exact bar and cafe, it was written by Alamino P. singer Dave Gibson, who has today, he's living in New York at the moment.

He met his wife. They're about to have their 20th wedding anniversary. He met her. And it's like the lyrics in the song. When I saw you in Verona. I sat down. You moved over. Yeah, yeah.

Pretty faces. But all. I saw was you. Well, that is today's Friday flashback. ZM. When I saw you in Verona. Oh, no, nah, nah, no, It's your Friday.

It's your Friday flashback on Zem, Alam NOP, Verona. That was, by the way, a number one song in New Zealand. Yeah. Quite often we'll play a big song from a huge artist. It wasn't number one in New Zealand.

I would say it was a champagne era for New Zealand music. It was. And I tell you what, the older millennials, love that. By the way, so it's written after the Verona

cafe and bar which has gone into liquidation this week, it's shout at the stores, hopefully temporarily, maybe they can get out of this. I don't know, maybe someone... It's iconic places, SBQR, you know, it's tough. People don't have the money to be spending, I guess. Shout it to Babs, Margaret.

We were just sort of about K-Rode memories. She was, the lady, she'd always go, got a dollar love. Got a dollar love. And had the big white hair. She died in 2011. What? Yeah, that was 2011. She was a character. We've been 15 years without Pals of.

I know. Oh. Unbelievable. What's the feedback, Hon? Very good song. That's the best Friday flashback, according to my nine-year-old. Okay. Yeah.

I was today's old when I found out that was a New Zealand song. Someone messaged in. Really? Someone said, I'm 38 years old. I can't remember to drink water every day, but I can remember every single word to the song. That's from Emma. 14-year-old me is going hard in the car. That person's no longer 14, but they were 14 when they...

Yes. You had that one. Shout out, Jesse, shout out to the guy behind me at the red light singing the song word for word. Yes. Banga, banga, banga the memories. Good man. People are, oh, I must say I'm disappointed at the missed opportunity

to do a Michael Jackson song for the release of his movie. We don't. We will listen to that privately in our headphones. I'm sorry. I have trouble separating the artist. Right, so, a resounding success. Yeah. Fantastic.

Yeah. The ZAM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flare. Weren and Haley. Okay, so what I'm doing right now, I'm just on Haleysprow.com. Okay. I've got a website.

She's got a website, guys. I don't know if you know she's got a website. I don't know if there's a Vaughnsmith.com or a Carl Fletcher.com. I'm not having that. I've said her some admin. I hate that admin. Yeah. Pop me in a vegetable garden.

That's my sort of admin, you know? God, get me out of it. You brought this on yourself. Now, she says that she's just making way more money than us. Oh, yeah. But also like just burning the candles. That all ends. When you said I'm going to coach a hockey team, I said, Vaughan, you don't need the stress.

Yeah. But, you know, thankfully, I'm paid a fortune to do that. Oh, you really? Yeah. How much? Nothing. Nothing. Just the love for your kids.

Yeah, well, you know, warmth. Yep. I got told off for swearing last night when we won. Don't be that parent. No, I didn't swear at them. I said, I'm not a teacher. I can say this. F yes, we won.

And they were all like, who told you off? My daughter. Oh, I can't swear. You're an official school duty. I'm not hired by the school. I'm working for free. I'll take my currency and swearing. Thank you very much.

So if you go to haileysprow.com, you'll see that my new show, Sprow on the Prow, which opens in a week. Sure, you missed that. That was a Twitch. A week? A week. It's opening in the Comedy Fest,

which launches today, and it goes Auckland, Wellington, and then I'm touring around the whole country, right? And you can go there for tickets. And you'll notice that Sprow on the Prowl is on sale, and the show is, here's the blurb, shall I say? Yeah.

What happens when? a 36-year-old walking tornado heads back out on the prowl after 15 years off you're about to find out cashing in hall passes stifling farts misreading what is in those wall pumps at the sex club even venturing into the depths of an Indonesian bush for an encounter with Jesus himself you guys are involved in that story now that might sound like sort of like a whole lot of random words thrown together but having been in this very close friendship over the last year it all made sense to me and I was like that is a lot crammed into a show yes from your radio in the morning in your TV at night to when Haley Sparrow, she does sex a year of off the leech to borsary

and off and not for on-air madness. Bring your mates, don't bring your kids. That's the blurb for my show. Yep, okay, great. So yesterday I said to my mum, we've made a decision as a family, which I think I've talked about, that my parents are not going to attend this show.

It's too full on. Yeah. I think that's a great call from them. They love me, they respect me, they don't judge me, but they don't need to hear it. Yes. In fine, fine detail. And so I said to mum yesterday, we were discussing this,

and I was running through my show and I said, I think we've made a really good choice here. Based on the content that I've been rehearsing, I really don't need you to hear any of this. It's a lot. And mum said, yeah, that's why I was so shocked to see that it's R16. And I said, it's not. She says very much R18.

And she said, no. And went on and showed me in numerous cities around New Zealand that has been advertised as R16 and even at one place, R15. There's no R15. There's no R15. There's no R15. There's not a number that you put beside the R. It's a 16 or an 18.

That's right. So I just, there's some admin. I've had some conversations with my producers who are like, we don't know how this has happened. We don't know how this has been miscommunicated. Nationwide. But I'm just using my platform here to let you know that no. No.

No, it's R18. It should almost be R20. But wait, what happens? It's not the same as like a movie or a TV show that has to like the sense. sit down and watch everything. No, and they won't idea you, but please do not bring your teenagers to this show.

Because you have, in your other shows, had people that brought along their kids. I did wild flutters, which is a show I made all about erotica, and I came out in Melbourne, and I looked at, and I said, hello, how old are you? And they said, 14. And I said, okay. And I said, are you, mum?

She goes, yeah, and I said, we need to have a little word. Yeah. It's about to get full on here. She said, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're fine. One of those like open families. We just joke and laugh about everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So listen, it's not.

It's R-18 and we are going to fix this, but if you have bought tickets to come and see me around the nation and you, some of those tickets were for your teenagers. I would say give them to your friends instead or contact me for a refund because I cannot have kids in the show. The more the show comes together and solidifies, it becomes abundantly clear. Well, I know a lot of the stories, and I would say, yes,

I'm quite liberal, but I'd say yes, it's not. It certainly is R18. Yeah, it really, really is. I was considered you quite the social conservative. I'd say prudish. Is that because I said that we should shoot taggers on site? On site. You can be liberal but want to shoot tangers.

I'll just say you can be liberal but want to shoot graffiti. I don't think you can be. Play ZM's flesh, fawn and haley. Georgia joins us Georgia in studio. Georgia, looking gorgeous, mate. When you grow up. When you wear something to work. Every day.

Do you, it's the first thought, what is Vaughn going to say about this? Sometimes it is. It's like, oh, Haley's going to be like those of your half shoes. Vaughn't one's going to say, is it your grandma's? I'm going to say she's going to full shoe on today. I've never seen your undies, so I'll just keep that to myself. Today you're wearing a lovely blue shirt, which looks like... It's got doilies at the end, I said.

It's not doilies. When you've got to be grandma's coffee table, but you've got your bowling at eight. Because it's a bowling shirt with doily sleeves. I just say that's a rock solid burn there. I like that. Yeah, I know. Should have done my own roast, actually. Why am I not part of the comedy festival?

Next year. Well, how are the split pins going? You're indoor, Tampin bowling league. I'm actually pretty good, to be honest. I know, it's my partner who's lacking. Really? Yeah, maybe it's because they haven't got a shirt like mine. I think that's what it is.

Do you say partner? My partner's the way to go. Who's your husband? Oh, yeah. Okay, why does everyone get all caught up on this? I had to call my partner for like 10 years because he wouldn't ask me to marry him and now I get all of a sudden go to her husband

It's good to see you've let go of that Now devil wears prada It's actually the key to long and halfway marriage is holding on to these things that don't really matter Rich coming from you This guy dishing up Marriage advice There's someone on the other side

I'm giving that advice I was going to say that Haley And then I stopped myself I'm glad you said it It was really me You should have you're the funniest one on the show flet It was a sinner No I know how Georgia feels when she puts on clothes in the morning

Literally. Getting ready for a roasting. Well, Georgia, we have you in to talk about the fact that you got a sneak preview of the devil wears Prada too. It's so hard a film like this that is so beloved to come out years later and do a sequel and everyone's just like, don't eff it up. I reckon because they didn't try too hard is why it's good. You reckon because I was reading a review, like a proper, you know, respectable review.

And they were like, who rules? Is George's review not good enough? She's lit. She's literally like a wearing a doily. You know what I? She's literally good. A blue doily. Well, if it's, grandma's wear doily, so therefore I shall be respected. Yeah.

So, but this review is saying it's great. Like, it's really enjoyable. It's lovely. It feels resolving. It's awesome. Early ratings, I'm guessing just the reviewers and it's been out of, what, a day or so. Yeah, it came out yesterday. IMDB, 7.1 out of 10, rotten tomatoes, 79%.

That's not good. That is good. That is really good. Do you know what I reckon it is? They didn't try and gen Zee it. You know how like mean girls did that? sequel and I was like, ugh. Yeah, and they made it all like,

skibbitty barb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, literally. Slay six, seven, skittity. They kept the characters the exact same. I think about it as I'm like, you know how back in that time there's a lot of things that were said that probably can't be said today. They said it. Say one of them. For example, what?

For example, you go for one. Last night on the way to my daughter's hockey game, I was like, well, let's listen to some music and I just found this like hype up sports playlist and had the Black Eyed P's song, let's get it started. the original. And I said to my daughters, I was like, do you know this is a tone down

because this song used to be called Let's get, say it. Fire retardant. Fire retardant. And they were like, no, it didn't. I was like, I promise you. And they were like, how many times did they say it? And I said, well, I'll put on, let's get it started

and I'll say the word every time they said the word. Yeah, how many times they say started? And they were like, Dad, stop. Dad, stop. Are you saying it too many times? Yeah, yeah. And that was on the radio.

And that was about the same time. Wait, was it never bleeped. No, no. No, no. What a wild west world you guys lived in? And then there was a time when somebody said maybe we shouldn't be playing that. Yeah. And then they came out with started.

Let's get it started. Let's get it started. That's crazy. Let's get. Well, kind of along. I know. And here. And they made an epilepsy reference later on the show.

Yeah, Bob in your head like epilepsy. Out inside the club or in you Bentley. Huh. I mean. The black got a piece of shooting from the hit in 2000. But they said it straight, I guess, in that regard. Oh, over and over and over and over. And that movie, that came out around

about the same time as the devil was part. Yeah, so what I find is good about it is like Miranda is still Miranda, exactly how Miranda was. So she says the marginal stuff, she does the marginal things, but then everyone around her is like, okay, you can't do that anymore.

As if we were talking like our appearance. Is Emily Blunt's character so funny still? Because maybe she's like, my favourite one is when, which you probably wouldn't do now either, when Anne Hathaway's character's like, oh my God, you look so skinny. and she's like, oh my God, thank you so much.

I'm on this new diet where I don't eat, and when I'm about to faint, I have this cube of cheese. She's just like that. She's still like that. And that's what I mean. Like, everyone around them corrects them for being politically incorrect. So it works in a way that's like good, but also the fashion's epic.

There's quite a few celebrity appearances that you don't expect to be in it. Oh, ruin them for us. Can I? Ruin a few. Gaga's actually in it. She's not just the song. That's part of the trailer and stuff.

She's in it. Oh, come on. I saw Brooke from the Night Show talk about this. Did you see the interview? She's on the Red Car. in this interview goes, what is the most underrated Lady Gaga song?

And Anne Hathaway goes, ooh, great question. And you're telling that she does no Gaga songs. She's like, it hasn't been written yet. And walks away and everyone's like, oh no. She doesn't know. Little cringe. I mean, she was caught off guard. Yeah, but like it's Gaga.

Come on. Can I ask? One of the things that I thought was awesome about is Anne Hathaway said she wants no rake thin models in this. She wants models of all sizes. There are. Is that present?

There's both. But there definitely is. is like what they used to be back in the day. But there's a mix up now, which is good. Nice. But now, I just... Stanley Tooch, still on full? He's in it, he's funny.

I think what I liked about it is, like, the original doesn't try too hard either. And it's just that, done again. But, like, with a bit more of a storyline. Some people say there isn't a storyline, but there is. Okay, how many out of five doilies? How many? Oh, I'd say about four doilies.

Four doilies. Four doilies. Four doilies. Well, there you go. Thank you, Devil Wears Prada 2. It's out in New Zealand Cinemas now. The Deneb Podcast Network Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day.

I do-d-do-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-do-to-to-do-to-do-to-do-do do-do do do do do do do do. Oh, yeah. I did that. I didn't like it. I think it was born. Today, an accident of a discovery of the day, is a fact of the day, is a, a little discovery called the dog, the hole

in 17,000 years of art. Oh, 17,000. 17,000 years of art. Let's go to France in World War II. 8th of September 1914 an 18-year-old apprentice mechanic called Marcel was walking his dog

in an occupied region of France. So nice to know the Nazis were allowed as long as you don't harbor the jewels you can walk your dog. The puppies need to pee. The puppies need their walkies and the sniffies. And just sends the pee male. So his dog, Robot, went down a hole.

And he was like, Robert. I can't go from German to French. How would you? Robot. Robot. Where are you? Robert. Because he's having a wine and a cigarette because he's French.

Yeah. At 9 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, shouted for him and eventually heard. from deep underground. He's like, I've got to rescue my dog. A heroic Frenchman in World War II. What was he on the front lines? So he, you remember that earlier when we discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls?

It was discovered because he thought a goat was in a hole and he tossed a rock and he heard the tinkle all of the thing. So he dropped the rock down the hole too and heard it go, khtunk, kudunk, kudunk, kudok, dunk. So he was like, I'll remember where this is, went home and came back later with his friends. Okay. So his dogs, I mean just under there, just waiting, I guess. His dog's just lost in an underground labyrinth. Marcel brings back, Jacques, Johoré, Simon. All of age that they could have been fighting in the war.

Yep, yep. What are they doing? Well, they came back with an oil lamp, and down they went. They went down the narrow hole, and they found in there, with the light of the dim lamp, some animal paintings on the wall. And they were like, this is unusual. And they reckon that he would have, most of the moment. likely been the first person to have laid eyes on those paintings for 17,000 years.

Wow. Upon further investigation with better light, the cave walls were covered with depictions of animals, human figures and abstract signs, 600 paintings. Cave paintings? The cave paintings of early European man. Thanks for this pup. Yeah, thanks to the dog going down the hole. 600 paintings, 1,500 engravings.

They were able to identify horses, red deer, stags, bison, cats, And creatures that they still don't know what exactly were they were, whether or not they were like their version of mythological creatures or, you know, just a pissball drawing really. Because sometimes if you've got kids, they'll bring home their drawing. What's that? They're like, it's the dog! And you're like, Jesus.

Better put that on my fridge. It's winter. Right in the fireplace. Yeah. Yeah. So there were, many generations of artists had been working on these paintings and they'd used, like, and it kind of revolutionized how we viewed the early art of early man.

and their techniques and everything and it became like the super famous discovery of the caves of hmm, las Role yeah I mean there's a red hot French go yeah sounds good to me

I've been free for six years I couldn't tell you to both let it all go so they survived 17,000 years Ice Age's floods all of the movement and everything and they were all those years undamaged within 20 years of them being found horrifically damaged because everybody went down there and tagged it. Now what would you have done if you'd found

those taggers on site, Flipp? Shot them on site. But I'm liberal. He's liberal, but he was in Nazi-occupied France. So also, by the way, never found the dog. What? Dog died. No, Marcel worked at those caves and for as long as they were open

to the public. They've been shut. He died at age 72, and apparently later in his life, they were like, by the way, whatever happened to robot the dog? is that never found it. Oh, well, thank you for your sacrifice. Never found out. What a great discovery. Down there anyway.

So today's fact of the day is when a dog went down a hole in 1940 in German-occupied France. Marcel Ravadat uncovered 17,000-year-old cave paintings. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-d-do-d-do-d-d-do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-t do-d-do-d-d-t do-do-d-t do-t do. The Z-M Podcast Network. Play Z-M's Fletchorn and Haley. I want to know right now, have you cheated death? Have you come very close to death and then went, shh-pulled a fat Ui?

Nah, not this time, Satan. because this is exactly what Sir Sam Neal, beloved actor of whom we are very proud, has said was his case with his cancer that we learned about last year. All these stories came out and I thought, well, that's it, it is days are numbered.

Yeah, and genuinely, it was quite major. So Sir Sam Neal is now officially cancer-free after he had some cutting precipice. It's cutting edge. We don't say that word. After some... Innovative... Innovative revolutionary C-R-T-Sel therapy.

And it has said, and he said it's extraordinary after five years of being diagnosed with a rare form of stage 3 blood cancer, at which point he was told it's quite likely you're going to die. Wow. And then he got this amazing therapy, and he's like, I've gone literally cancer-free. I cannot believe this. I've cheated death.

That's amazing. I'm back, bitch, and I'm stopping mining on this plateau. Yeah, so he was kidding. You were not going to mine on the land near my winery and this beautiful part of our country that we really don't need to mind. Yeah. So he said he was getting chemotherapy

and it was miserable. It was just managing to keep him alive and then it stopped working. And the doctors were like, oh God, that's not ideal. So obviously you don't want just stories of like a terminal like diagnosis but then you survive. But just any kind of near death experience?

Like, you know, a bus was hurtling towards you and it skidded and narrowly, you know, didn't knock you off the road. Remember when he saved Vaughn's life and he nearly got... I'll never forget it and I'm sure he never will. I'll never forget it. I was reaching over.

I saw some sunglasses and the gutter on the side of the road. And as a joke, I picked them up. And then I was going to take a step forward and be like, Fletch, you drop my sunglasses, even though they weren't Fletcher's sunglasses. And Haley were grabbing by the arm and pulled me back. And then a bus went, roof. Where are those sunglasses? It would have saved a lot of admin though in the last year.

I mean, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. In terms of, you know, the stress. Yeah. I mean, we would have been quite inconvenience. We would have been distraught. Yeah. But also, do you remember when the pot plant,

I was walking along the street and the terracotta pot plant fell literally inches within my nose and smashed. I could have been either dead or a vegetable. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe. A parrot. Brussels spray.

No, he'd be a parsnip. That's an insult though, as far as vegetables. And I mean it that way. Maybe you volunteered at a circus, you know, to be the person with the apple on your head and the knife came hurtling towards you and narrowly nicked the scalp. Well, you got the arrow through the head

and they missed the apple. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, I went a hundred dials at em. We want to take your calls now. Text through, already some coming through. Yeah. Great.

Text 9-696. Have you cheated death? Because the beloved Sam Neal says, despite his harrowing diagnosis, he has cheated death with a very innovative therapy for his cancer. But it doesn't have to be like a close-to-death illness. Did you narrowly, you know,

did your parachute not open when you were... Oh! And the reserve shoot had to come out? I don't. You know, I've always wanted to skydive, but as the years have gone by, it's become less and less. No, it rules. It's amazing.

It's amazing. It rules, man. I know. I know it does. Man. You're going to get up there in the clouds, did it? Page, where did you cheat death? Morning, guys.

Morning? Morning? So, about 10 years ago, I used to be a dairy farmer, and I don't know if you have much knowledge with it, But when a lot of farms have, like, a mirror that hang up above the cows as on the rotary, so you can see their rumps when you're doing an AI technician. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So that mirror has been hanging out for about 20 years by a rusty train. One really windy morning had fallen on the rail above my head. And I looked around me freaking out, going, oh, my God, like, it just missed me. it actually had diced into my arm and if it had it been 10 centimetres to the left it would have impaled my neck No!

And you just would have died because it would have gone straight through the art, the vein, the artery when it goes... Well, honestly it would have because when I looked down I realised they had sliced my arm open and I had to go to A&A

and I couldn't move my hand I thought I was in shock and then they were like, no, we need a surgeon to come talk to you and I was thinking why do you need a surgeon to come talk to me to stitch me up so I can go home. Yeah.

And turned out I had severed my tendon. Okay, well, that's bad. Okay, I feel all... Several ease, handy. I feel like that. Also, thank God that wasn't your head. I know, and does your arm work fine now, Paige? Yeah, luckily enough, I mean, I have no sensation of my skin above where the scarring is.

I've got nerve damage, but I have full access to my hands, so I'm very lucky. I was in a cast. I was in a cast for six weeks, and then I was in a splint for a week afterwards doing physio, rel learning for using my hand again. Nice, though, ACC. Yeah, did it give you a new lease on Life page? Yeah, be very courteous through our mirrors. Yeah, don't have mirrors. Well, maybe just don't hang them on your ceiling.

That's actually a good tip for you, Haley. I actually have a fear. I will never hang a mirror, especially like people who hang them above their bed. It terrifies me. I got them, though, because it's a great view. I look better birds-eyed than front-on. Like old versions of video games. It's a bird's eye view.

Thank you, Lorraine. Who cheated death? So the stories about my daughter, who was last year at college, who went on a school trip for a lifetime to a rainforests. In the back of Mexico, cellarite phones. everything. You know, sleeping in hammocks in tents. Oh, wow.

And they were told to be aware of scorpions. If you go to the toilet, make sure you've got shoes on, etc. Yeah. So this was a lifetime trip. So I get a phone call at an ungodly hour of the morning from the school to say, do not panic. Your daughter's on the way to a hospital. You're like, I'm panicking.

She thinks, well, I was very upset. we think she's been bitten by a scorpion oh god classic it's all okay so then they were like this isn't right she was rushed into a hospital into a ambulance taken off two hour

drive for wherever she had to go she was most upset when she got there it was nuns and she had to take all the earrings out it does suck when there's nuns I mean, I could go on forever about this story. The crux of it was she was actually bitten by a poisonous snake, and it was a fur delance, and they had no anti-venom,

so she had to get to the hospital very quickly, rang to say, Mom, if you don't get it here in time, it's okay. And she is here today. She's survived. Oh, my gosh. story. And she, they reckon it was either a juvenile snake or else it had just eaten, so it hadn't released enough venom.

But she missed the whole trip. She was stuck in hospital. The teacher was stuck in hospital. Oh, my God. Yeah. See, this is why, Lorraine, I prefer the resorts on the coast of Mexico. Yeah. They're finally, you know, quite often you get the buffet included as well.

Oh. And no snakes, Lorraine, no snakes. And they haven't been on that school trip since. I reckon it would put the school off from trek in the back. Yeah. Yeah. But the end of the story is she came home. She's going to tell me if she's listening to the radio.

And she came home last week and said, Mom, just to let you know I've got another tattoo. And she's been saving and wanting us to ever. She just got a fur-de-a-lan snake on the bottom of her leg tattoo. Oh, I love that. I love that. it back. Yeah, yeah, that's so good. Oh, what a story, Lorraine. That's brilliant. Thank you so much.

Happy your daughter's alive. Yeah, have a great weekend. Some messages in. My uncle and his friend were late to a scenic helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. This is going back a few years. That ride crashed and everyone on board died. You could say he escaped death. Oh, geez. Those stories are wild. Oh, my God. Somebody said I was driving to work one morning. My brakes locked up on a corner of my car went straight under the

trailer of a truck. Somehow I managed to walk, get out of the car, completely unscathed. Just walk out. And I went to work. I reckon I want to take in the morning. I'm in shock. Yeah. I nearly died. I would send a picture in but like, guess who's not coming to work?

Yeah. Play ZM's Flash for an inhale. So we want to know when you've cheated death. Still a lot of text messages coming in. Yeah, heaps, man. We're all lucky to be alive. Drink it while it's fizzy. You know what I mean?

Some of these are a bit final destination, though. Yeah. I avoided a 100-kilometer head-on crash on my way home from work last night. Oh no, sorry, late one Friday, I just read that completely wrong. You read late as last. Yeah, I did, and then I saw night, and so I just put two and you together. They got my wing mirror and a rear quarter panel. I was pissed off because I'd only just replace that wing mirror.

Oh, my, you came that close to a head on. It clipped your wing mirror. At 100 kilometres an hour, they clipped your wing mirror. Oh, my God. I was managing road repair for a slip in that installed dynamite on the slip face to blow up the large rocks that were loose. Oh, that sounds so much fun. I know.

We checked the blast plan and chose a. a safe place, many hundreds of meters away to watch the detonation. I was inside the wooden shed with my phone. Sorry, I was inside with the wooden shed, but then stepped outside to use my phone to watch the blast. Saw it happen. Seconds later felt the blast wave and thought, man, that was amazing. Then, started to see the rocks peppering down on the field in front of me, and then

I was like, and then the next second, a rock the size of a softball, went straight through the shed about a foot away from me at throat height. I have the rock on my desk as a health and safety reminder. As a child, I was running around the house with a toothbrush in my mouth. No, don't finish that. No, we can't finish it. No. Slammed into the back of the, fell over.

Haley, do not finish that. Tripped up? Yep, we know the rest. Through the back of the head. Thank you. Did it come out the back? Millimetres. Away from the spine.

From the brain. Anyway. Oh my God. Stop that. Oh. Do you have a rubber thing in your mouth? Have a tongue skull. scraper, extra bristles on the side.

Clean teeth, though. Clean teeth. Really clean teeth. Oh my God, I was on a school kayaking trip and we were going for a paddle down a river, which was swollen from a storm a few days before. I fell out of my kayak by an irrigation intake and was sucked up into the irrigation intake.

Did they come out of the sprinkler on the paddock? I was dragged underground for a while until I came out the exit. There were two exits out of the irrigation intake and one was shut. I was luckily enough to come out the open exit. Otherwise, I would have drowned in the pipe. Oh my God. Yep. That is insane.

Ooh, it feels like there's still be a sieve on the front of the intake. So I can't suck up children. Yeah. A children's sieve. A children's sieve would be helpful. It doesn't need to be a fine sieve. No, children. Children. A colander.

Like leaves, like big enough for leaves to go in. Leaves do that. Not children. Not children. Guys, I'm just going to be careful out there today. I'm just going to proceed with a bit of caution. That's the thing. Life is precious, isn't it? It can end in a second.

We were at Angkor. Guys, I told you in the group chat, I saw a dead person come out of their apartment yesterday. Oh, yeah. That was wild. In a body bag. And a body bag. I saw a body bag being wheeled out of an apartment yesterday.

I hope I'm never in a body bag. Everybody goes in a body bag. Do they go into a body bag? Do you have to go in a body bag? Well, unless you get sucked into the intake and they don't find you. You minced. They'll find you eventually. Depends if the children, Collander minces you into the intake.

At Ancor, what? My husband and I were there. for sunset. Pardon me? Ancor what? You say Ankor, pardon me. You don't say what to your parents. Use your manners.

Ankhore pardon me for sunset. Now I feel like I'm culturally insensitive. It's the funniest one on the show. That's one on the sensitive. Ankur what for sunset? And a sudden torrential downpour sent everybody running. My husband was running across the road to a tuk, and I grabbed him and held him back,

and then an elephant ran straight through his path. What? Though, if you're going to die, Stamp up there. Stamped by an elephant. Yeah, yeah. It's got to be up there. The Z&M Podcast Network.

A non-na-box. A non-na-box, box, box, box, box. Come on. It's time for a box. A non-a-na-box, box. We've asked an anonymous question. It's an anonymous box on Instagram. As a result of Ray J, the singer,

claiming on a podcast called Funky Friday podcast, that his number of women that he claims he slept with is around the 2,500 mark. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Around the 12,500 mark. I dropped a whole 10 grand off there. Yeah, okay. That's a lot.

Who's got the time? Now, Rain Jane, for those that don't know, is famous for the tape. Kim Kardashian tape. And for his relationship with Kim Kardashian in the very early days in the tape. And the sex tape that came out, they kind of launched their big platform.

Yes. All the power, too. So he said, the math is really different when you're on tour because it can be five to ten a day. What? Five to ten a day? And then there's also, of course, the instances where, the instances where,

which he averages around 3,500 in which there are multiple partners in one session. We're talking you're on. So you count those as individuals, not sort of as one collective act. One clump. No, no, no, it's not a clump. Anyway, he is saying at 45, he reckons he's only got room in capacity for about a thousand.

thousand more and then he's going to tap out at 1350 to 14,000, sorry. Now we don't judge, we are not judging and we're not going to judge this box. My number's a bit lower than that. Significantly. Yep. I think everybody's would be, Haley. Yeah. All right, let's get into our listeners. We ask what's your number. Okay. Now, I will say

we have to give a shout-out to producer Shannon. She's done very hard. She's done so well. She's absolutely crunch some numbers on this. Yes, producers in the bus. Can I ask producer, Shannon, what was your surprise at this question when we asked what is your number? There was a lot of really high numbers, so I've added in some extra stats, but the most was 280 was someone's number. And then we have a lot of zeros. We got about five zeros, which has to five.

So from one? From zero to 280? Yeah, but we got like 350 responses. My tally, you should see, I've got a piece of paper out here this morning, and I was tallying. Like how physically counted it at all? So 280 was the most. Flesh, did you not submit? Yeah, he thought he wasn't allowed because he works here.

Oh no, we're going to take part in the polls. It's not like entering competitions. Yeah, and he would have won, clearly. Yeah, but he can't take the prize. But he can't take the prize. He sat out. Okay, so 15 people that responded said, I don't know. What is the average New Zealand lifetime part?

Wasn't it like 14 or 15? We've talked about it before. I think we were up there. women slightly higher than men, I think, the last time or something like that? So 15 people said in our response said, I don't know, and five of them said zero. 163 respondents said between 1 and 10. So New Zealanders have on average one of the highest numbers of lifetime sexual partners globally, ranking third with an average of 13.2.

Yeah, I knew it was like 14. Great. I tell you what, if fletch stops, we're going to drop that average too. So everybody needs to get that they go, ha. 163 people said between 1 and 10 61 people said between 11 and 20 33 people reply between 21 and 30 Now are these all straight because the gay number

MSM What is that? That's a like a... MSM. No, that's the messenger. MSM messenger. Men that have sex with men. They on average have a higher, globally a higher number. Okay, I'll say it.

What? You reckon? Yeah. That's crazy. So 26 people that responded said they've slept between 31 and 40 people, slept with. 41 to 50 partners, 16 people responded, that's me. Nine people said I've slept between 51 and 60 people. Two people have slept between, with people 61 to 70.

Now that's not an age. That's how many people they've slept with. Yeah. Two people have slept with that. But of a gap there. 70s to 80s, no one responded in between 70s and 80s. 80 to 90, three people. Welcome back.

91 to 100, one person. Over 100, four responses. Four of our people that responded said I've slept with over 100 people. And two respondees, one at 280. I'm not sure where the other one fits in the 200 sits at over 200. Wow, okay. Nice. We'd be getting, you know, life's for living. Carpe Dam.

Drink a while. It's a day. D.m. You got a carpet that damn. So my feedback, someone said seven. I didn't have sex until I was 27. Then I had a very fun summer playing catch up. Oh, nice.

Good for you. 19. I said I'd stop at 20, but I'm going to marry number 11. Oh, yeah, right, right, right. You're like, I'll just stop at 20. But they've had 19. Well, they've gone back to 11 because they were hotter and better probably, yeah. Yeah, from 11 to 18.

Minga Central, like, to slack performances. See if anything else is this good. I stopped counting at 50. I think it's probably sitting about. about 80-ish. Because some people have a list, they actually have a book. I know.

Yeah. A little notes on their fine. You're writing a comedy show every year. Yeah, that's right. And I did go back to, from my very first, and I tried to remember everyone, write a little thing about them.

It's good fun to look back at. I've slept with 252 people in the last 11 years. How do they know that, though? Have they made a list? They must have made a list, started a list of soon. Lists are fun.

George has screwed up her face. No. She said no. She's a pro conservative, though. She's wearing a doiler. She's very conservative. Guys, it's the American Pai Rule. They're just adding.

They haven't actually slept with that many people. Oh, you're saying that it's got to be full... They're lying. Bits and bits. Bits and bits. Yeah, but then the gay is, you know, because it's not always, sex is not only just P&V. So the average men, man on man,

average lifetime partner is 45? But is that hand stuff included? And is that a year? Is that a year? Is that a year? Is that a year? Natural year? Lifetime means their whole life.

No, that's surely the six-month GST period. I'm doing my GST every two months. I do mine quarterly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone said I've slept with one woman and two men. I can't give a concrete number, but I know it's triple digits. I stopped counting after 150 and that was about four years ago. Do you think these people are like super hot?

Yeah, yeah. They are. You've got to be hot together. Or just confident. Yeah. Yes, which is hot. Which is hot. And they walk into the bar and they're like, I'm not even going to try with these attractive people.

Give me the mingers. Alming up the fingers. I want a challenge tonight. One and done, baby. My husband and I hope to keep it that way that I guess time will tell. What, ever. Guys, there's so much out there. Yeah. I've slept with 37.

Like, don't you want a different colour one? Yeah. You know what I mean? Or one with the different bits. Different parts. Some of them have different parts. Some of them have different parts. Yeah, they do.

Really? Yeah. Like a Mr. Potato Head. Yeah, yeah. Remove that and then, put that on. I've sleep with 37. A woman and three men. Another zero.

Someone else said zero. Probably as many as Fletch, if he tells I'll tell. That's not. Someone just messaged Don't. Can we play a game where we guess your numbers? Vaughn's face is giving six or less. That's because it looks like you don't know how to have sex. Yeah, but it's important that they...

He's laughing at her chalaping. That's so good. I think we'll just leave it there then. Someone messaging, you guys are making me feel like I was a little adventurous in my youth. Not in this. I'm 80-ish. No, no, no, no, no. You have your number. There's no chance here.

Yeah, and not. Absolutely not. Maybe your face isn't doing what Vaughn's is doing. With the fundamentals. Just going into the weekend, it'd be good just to get some what about the fundamental. It's the fundamentals. Someone just messaged in, you guys are firing off all these numbers. Meanwhile, I'm a 30-year-old virgin.

Let me know if you want me to call and tell you my short story about why. Yeah? Why? Is it just that it gets too late and then it's really hard to like take the leap? I don't know. Should forward the number onto the 250 guy. Exchange sort of water each other down a bit. Yeah.

Take the average down. Well, just know, can you text us? I mean, just text, yeah. Just text us because we're going to do a phone and next anyway. But we want to know. Yeah. And we'll come back. We'll come back.

The Z-N podcast network. An Australian influencer based in Bali. Give me strength. Yeah, God. You've painted the picture. Lord, give me strength to complete the story. Amen, Lord. Australian influencer in Bali are Talia,

except she spells it. T-A-L-E-I-G-H-A. Oh, Jesus, give me strength. Hallelujah. Hallelujah, Jesus. Her last name's Sky with an e-on. She has had to apologize because she locked her six-month-old son

in a Bali hotel room and took the baby monitor with her and went and got a message because she was just so stressed out. Hasn't she seen the Madeline McCann movie? Oh, gosh. Is there a movie? Sure there is.

Surely. Yeah, there is. We all know what happened. Shannon. Shannon will have seen it if it exists. Is a documentary or a movie? No, it's a documentary. It's a documentary. It's very good. It's very tragic.

It's like Jonbenaya. Oh, Madela. I know, John Maneh's Caddy Perry. And Madela McCahn is Sabrina Carpenter. I don't think that's. Because every kid ends up as a pop star apparently.

So she kind of did that thing where she put it online thinking like, oh guys, I've got a hack if you're in Bali, just lock your baby in the room, take your baby monitor and go and get a massage. And everyone's like, oh my God. We just don't leave babies alone. Yeah.

I think that's just in general. And then like it's just after I read that I remember seeing Emily Radikowsky. Radikowski was like celebrating this New York, this legendary New York bar. And they're like, what's your favorite movie with the bar? She's like, well, like my apartment's across the road. My apartment used to be across the road. So like when my baby was born, I just like put them down, grab the baby monitor and

come across here for a couple of martinis. Oh, wow. I love that. I love that. Don't say it out loud. You kind of need to be ready to go with a baby, right? Ready to like. Yeah, but if you're over the road, it's closer now.

Yeah, yeah, because there's plenty of time when it starts choking. Martini, you're like, you're drinking martini and you're like, oh, all right. See you guys later. Across the road. I mean, she's like, this is like $30. I'm not, I'm not guzzling this down. I'm sipping.

I might take it with. I'll bring the glass back later. I'll wash it and bring it back. Well, we thought on the back of this news, this is nothing compared to the parenting of, you know, The days gone by. The years that have... 70s, 80s, 90s, New Zealand. We're pretty famous for parking the kids in the car outside the pub. Yeah, I love it.

Or just using the casinos casino as daycare. Yeah. Yeah, exceant car park. That security guard does around, so we'll check and make sure they've still got some chips. Yeah, what was your parents' rogue parenting move? Well, maybe that's parked you out at the back of work. You play with all the dangerous stuff. Yeah. Climb on things.

Yeah. Also, if you're a parent, you can dob yourself in. Oh, absolutely. We don't know all the rogue parenting moves of your life. Okay. $800,000 at em as a number. We'd love to hear from you. And text through as well,

9-696. What was the rogue parenting move? There's an influencer from Australia who lives in Bali, left her kid in a little hotel to go and have a massage. She did bring the baby monitor though. So it's fine. So it's fine.

Your rogue parenting moves or maybe your parents' rogue moves with you. Someone said, as a five-year-old, I was driving a digger feeding a screen at a quarry. So somebody out of quariasque a certain size of metal or rock and somebody's got to feed the screen and somebody's got to run the plan and apparently this five-year-old as a five-year-old I sat up a 20-ton

digger and did it because I'd learned to do it in the sandpit. I've been watching Dad do it. That's amazing. Watch and learn? Are you still working in diggers? Yeah. Pretty rogue move if you were like an accountant or something now. Yeah. I walked approximately five kilometres to school in Timaru every morning by myself at the age from school

starting five. Imagine the other side of the road. A lot of us would bike or... Until I got my first bike, then I biked. At least it was a little bit quicker. Yeah, I can't remember what age I was allowed to start being on my own. My mum was a midwife in the mid-80s.

I wouldn't take a bottle as a baby, so when she went back to work on night, if she took me with her and put her in the nursery with the other babies and would just come in breastfeed me when need me. Just finding a spare thing popping it in there. Good. Have a sleep. Pop a tip.

A few months in, you're way bigger than all the newborn babies. Yeah, yeah. It's a monster of a baby. If we had to pop up the road, my sister and I would sit in the back storage compartment and my dad's work unit. Oh, yeah, we'd sit on the back of the youths all the time as kids. Hold on, hold on to the sides.

Yeah. My mother would drink sherry at her girlfriend's house. My twin and I would travel home and our bounces on the back seat without seatbouts. The good old days. The good old days. The good old days. until mum wrapped the old holding common door around a tree and then your bounces were doing nothing in the back seat.

I don't think the days would have been so good. We were moving house, staying at my grandparents, staying at my parents, put baby down on the bed. She chose that moment to roll over for the first time. I found her and cuddled to cry away like a good mom, but I've always wondered when I see the 14-year-old of learning and stuff spent a little bit. Because she off the bed.

Bunked on the ground. When I was four, my mum went to a party, and got late-night into sleep, so she put me in the garage where it was quiet, and I went sleep next to a boat trailer wheel. Concrete floor, no blanket, early 90s. Concrete floor. No blanket.

No blanket. Wild. Wow. When I was eight, where my dad worked had a break and he sent me with a gang member who worked at his work to the local seafarers while he spoke to the police. We had a great time,

and the gang member taught me how to play pool. It's like, all right, place to come in. You bloody get out of here and take my son with you for, I bet he got home and mum was not happy about that. Oh, no. We're going to have a little bit of words with your father then.

Okay, so the five-year-old, I mistakenly took this as a story from the past. No, no, this five-year-old is now nine and upgraded to a 30-ton digger, the one working in the quarry. Oh, wow, okay. Okay. So that wasn't a story from the 80s. No, I thought it was going to be. It's going to be big 80s, guys, to be honest. My mom left me in a hotel in Switzerland when I was four months old to attend her brother's wedding.

For the whole time. Yeah, my nana. Mother-in-law still talks about it today saying how uncomfortable she was with it. How old? Four months old. Well, it's too young to be like doing anything, is it? Like setting the room on fire and stuff? Yeah, but he's sort of going to be fed and checked every now and then, you know, the breathing.

Yeah. Check the breathing. Someone said, I can remember at 10 after being home alone getting a call from mom and dad at the pub saying, do you know how to drive the car, can you come and get it? Oh, brilliant. Went and got them, picked them up, bought them home, no incidents. Your own Uber driver, why not? The ZDN Podcast Network.

An international research team. A what? An international research team from universities in China and Australia have examined multiple, and I mean a thousand, social media posts and surveyed more than 500 travelers who traveled with partners, from partners to strangers, to friends, to lovers, who have traveled with someone.

Yeah. To find out the traits of the perfect travel partner. Oh, when you find the perfect travel partner, it's a beautiful thing. Yeah. You've just got to be on the same wavelength or understand each other. Yes, yeah, yeah. You don't have to like the same things. Yes.

It's just about being like, well, we're really chill at. Like, you go there, I'll go there and meet you for coffee later. If you want to spend three or four hours stopping at every single exhibit in a museum, you do that on your time. Absolutely. I'll do a quick half an hour, whip around, stop at the things I'm interested in. I'll meet you at the beach. Yeah, see you later.

Perfect. Now, we've travelled together as a trio And I would say it was incredibly successful Yes, it was, yeah We're all equal parts of fun, adventure and relaxation And the focus being around food Vaughn, we've travelled many times Yeah, we have easy.

You've travelled with lots of friends actually I have, always good, yeah Because you don't have a partner, lonely loser Because I'm a lonely loser You're a lonely loser Refuses to get a partner Just have more money for not spending on kids though So...

Yeah, that's why you're travelling That's true So they've boiled it down to four traits that make their perfect travel partner. Yes. Let's see how we stack up. Okay. The first trait, emotional stability. Kind of not what I'm known for.

Stays calm when plans fall apart, regulates their own moon, tunes into others, builds trust, fast and keeps the vibe positive under pressure. I think, yes. Yes. I think as a trio, yes, maybe I can get overwhelmed. We didn't have anything go bad on our Bali trip. So that wasn't really tested. No, no, exactly. But I've definitely panicked before when I have, you know,

gone to the wrong airport or gone to the wrong thing. And you find yourself. Who knew Paris had two airports really on different sides of the city? Yeah. They do. They do. Okay, emotional stability is number one. Number two, the four traits that make a perfect travel partner.

Travel experience. And this is where you roll. You've traveled a lot. Practical skills, destination, knowledge, problem solving. Competence equals confidence. season travellers share more and get more cooperation in return. They're just like, I've done this before.

I know how to navigate a train system. I know how to navigate a language barrier. Come with me. Two rookies overseas together would be a nightmare. The third trait is compatibility. So not just like do we get along, but do we have matching budgets? Do we have matching energies,

matching sleep schedules? Like do we need as much rest as each other? Travel priorities, like you said before. Like if you're with a shopper and you're a beach relaxer and you're a theme parker we're not going to get on very well. You don't need deep chemistry

just some compatibility with what you want. But some people don't like to be in another country or in another city doing things on their own. So if you're a beach person and they're a theme park or a shopper... Well, I don't want to go on my own. Yeah, just go on your own. It's fine.

I love being on my own. But they say budget mismatch is one of the killers of a travel companionship. It would be. Because you're like, well, I really want to have a little splurge and go to this restaurant I've looked at for years and they're like well I can't I don't want to do that yeah so you're like well what do we do and the fourth trait of the perfect travel partner is responsibility they pull their weight they stick to the plans they contribute ideas you're not

just sort of dragging them there you know they haven't paid for anything they're just sort of coming along for a free trip they're a misery gut yeah that's sort of traveling with a misery yeah yeah you know they haven't they haven't planned anything yeah uh and they just sort of um um you're a bit of a drag on the thing you know yeah I think those are good those are good those I agree with those. And by the way, so same-sex pairs, regardless of being in a relationship or just friends, they value emotional intelligence and responsibility more opposite sex, lean harder on compatibility and experience. Just a little bit of a difference.

Right. I do love seeing a good couple fight, though, on holiday. My favourite. You've spent so much money to fight overseas. You could have done it in New Zealand. Oh. Who did tummy go? Yeah, that was my tum-tum.

That was my tun-tum-tum. Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Ah, not for me, Vaughan. Oh, okay. Now, nowhere even close. No, nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun,

why don't you give us a little review and a rating? Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.