ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st November 2023

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Toilet Day!   Top 6: Recipes from PM   Silly Little Poll!   Rolly & the Retainer Water   Hayley's "No Gift" Christmas!   Vaughan's Trick or Treating!   Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleshpawn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Hello, hi. Hello, Wednesday. Hello, hi.

I still have this weird throat thing. But not COVID? Not COVID. Oh yeah, you sound a little bit. I know. I'm supposed to be doing some bake-off voiceover today. I think it'd be good for it. Jonathan has used some raspberries.

Yeah. And then big Nigella energy. All finished off with a chocolate whip. Hello, chocolate lovers. Hello, chocolate lovers. You filmed that show ages ago. Yeah, and then it got postponed. When's it coming on?

The Great Kiwi Cooking Show. Next year, right? I don't know. Maybe we should start a petition. It's just nice that you have one show that hasn't been cancelled. I know, it is good. I am a cursed host. Yeah.

I think you should put a gun to the network's head and say, if it's not on TV by Christmas, I'm just going to tell everybody who wins. Oh, blackmail the network. It's a great idea. And no worse than that time we got drunk and told the commissioner what you were doing. Yeah, gosh.

Resulting in a show being cancelled. Tens of people out of jobs. Single-handedly. Yeah, single-handedly killed it. Tens of thousands of people. No, I said-handedly. Yeah, single-handedly. Killed it. Tens of thousands of people. No, I said tens of people. Also, we haven't discussed this, but you were booked on the project the day it was...

It was cancelled. It was cancelled. You were booked to go on that night, but they... I am accursed. You're a curse. I'm a curse. Seven days, beware. No, The Great Cooper, it's in January.

Okay, we're looking forward to that. Yeah, me too. And you can listen out for the episode where I had this throat thing going on. Coming up on the show, the top six, the average Kiwi household spending. What was it? 300 bucks, around 300. $300. A week on groceries.

Now, that is five times the amount that Christopher Luxon said he spent on groceries in the lead up to the election. He said he's got a $60 a week grocery bill. I've really got a pretty light with that. And then everyone went, whoa! And then he was like, no, wait, wait, it's only me and my wife. And everyone was like, we just assumed you meant yourself!

Yeah, a day. Easy. A day. Yeah. So I've got the top six recipes from the office of Christopher Luxton. Oh, wow. Okay. To maybe help us save a bit of Christopher Luxton. Oh, wow. Okay.

To maybe help us save a bit of money. Yeah. I like this. Yeah. For you, Christopher Luxton. Christopher Luxton. Next on the show. Big day at my house.

First of November, it's finally happened. I'm going to work out the exact amount of time I've been waiting for this day. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. 256 days ago, we ripped out our toilet as part of our demolition before we started our build at the back of our house. Mamma mia. And that's how long it's been.

256 days. And is that when the portalo arrived? Yeah. Feb 18th. Wow. Isn't that crazy that we've had a port-a-loo all that time and the thunder bucket at night? That's right.

Let's not forget the thunder bucket. Is that what it was called or is that what you've called it? No, that's what it's called. A camping pee bucket. Today's the day our toilet's getting installed. I can't believe it. I actually can't believe this. This is, what a day.

I know. What a day. Yesterday I went to the garage and I got all the bathroom stuff out and the plumber's coming and oh my God, I'm so excited. Do you know what? We've actually done quite well. This whole time I've been like, ah, it's all right. It's just part of the process.

Nine months, though. Eight and a half months without it. It's worn thin. I bet it has. Oh, my God. Longest renovations in the history of renovations. Oh, my God. Seriously.

Today we get a toilet. Now, the debate is we've already decided when the shower gets signed off, which will be about next week, which is also crazy, who gets to use it first? Well, both of you because don't you have a double shower? The shower we've gone, yes, we'll have a shower at the same time, double shower. Nice, sexy stuff.

Hot, sexy stuff. The toilet, can't really use that at the same time. No. You know? So who gets to sort of christen the bowl? I feel like it depends on what time I can get home today. You know

what I mean? You think it could be before you get home? Yeah. Well, have you decided who? Well, I think it should be Aaron. Yeah, right. That's a fair call. Because also, what if you get home and you're busting and he's like, I don't have one on board. I'm dry. Yeah, right. That's a fair call. Because also... What if you get home and you're busting and he's like, I don't have one on board. I'm dry. Yeah, then I'll get

to do it. The only thing is I feel like he should get to have it first because he's a man and I feel like they respect their toilet time more than us. But what if he's just wheeze? It's standing up. No, no, no. It's going to be a ploop. Oh, right. Okay. It's going to be a ploop. A true christening.

A true christening. Before next week, you know, I'm getting a colonoscopy next week. And the prep the day before is very punishing on the loo. Yeah. Thank God you got the toilet before that. That's not port-a-loo stuff. You're going to get a lot of time on the toilet next week. Yeah.

So I was like, maybe he can have a nice sacred time before I absolutely ruin the thing next week. Maybe you could just pump on your way home, go to like Kimmer's Warehouse and get some Metamucil. Yeah, I could. Somebody said you got to watch it. Plumbers will sometimes install it and then christen it themselves.

Well, they can't take a dupe because we don't have a door on the thing. And there's a few tradies in the house. Right. So if they literally installed it and took a shit with an open door, I think our plumbers have more respect. Right.

They're one of the good ones. Yeah, okay. The plumbers. Yeah. Yeah. So this is an exciting day. Wow, okay. We've had people over,

and sometimes, I will say this is a bit grim, but like the Port-A-Loo gets cleaned once a week on a Wednesday. Yeah. Today's a good day. Yeah. Monday, Tuesday, not great days for the Port-A-Loo gets cleaned once a week on a Wednesday. Today's a good day. Monday, Tuesday, not great days for the Port-A-Loo. Do you know what I mean?

You've got tradies using it as well. We used to have a tradie separate one, but God, we had to trim costs somewhere. So we got rid of that. We're like, we're all using the same one now, team. It was pretty rough. And then, so when we have to have friends around and if it was like a rough day,

you'd be like, no, please don't go. And they're like, where do you want me to go? I'd be like, please just pee in the garden. Yeah. So we've had friends. You can't send a shit under your orange tree. Take a shit under the orange tree. Great fertilizer for your lawn, though.

Yeah, totally. And for the trees. Yeah, well, happy new toilet day. Well, I can't wait to host you guys and for you actually to have somewhere to wee. A floor to walk on. We might actually come around a bit more now. Yeah, I know. Although Vaughn does.

Don't make those world promises. Yeah. Vaughn,. Although Vaughan does. Don't make those world promises. Yeah. Vaughan, are you going to come over? Don't make those world promises. You're going to come over this weekend, though, eh? No, Vaughan's always over to get scrap woods and. What am I coming over for this weekend? Before the Halloween party.

What for? Because Aaron's going to drive us. Oh, that's just. No, that seems like too much. No, come over and have some cocktails and take a piss in my new toilet. It seems like too much. Fletch, you should come in from town to mine and then we'll go back into town. That's like a $70 Uber.

Yeah, it's alright. It's just fun. Just to come all the way back. To hang out at my house. Can't wait to host you guys. I do want to use the new toilet though. Yeah, I know. It's going to be good. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A cosmetic surgeon in the UK who's very popular on TikTok. You may have seen him.

His name is Dr. Richard Divine. Divine. Oh, my God. Dick Divine. And in school, Divine Dick. Divine Dick. Divine Dick. Divine Dick.

This TikTok has had millions of views, I think, at last count, over 16 million. He has given the five cosmetic procedures, or the five things he would not do as a cosmetic surgeon. Does he say why after each one? He does say why. Have you got a lozenge? You're sorry. So someone comes in and says, Dick Devine, wild name.

Anyway, I want something done, and he's like, I don't do those. Or he's saying, I wouldn't get this done to my own face, but I'll happily do it to yours for money. Probably. No, because some he wouldn't do to anyone's face. He wouldn't do it. Or he's saying, I wouldn't get this done to my own face, but I'll happily do it to yours for money. Probably. No, because some he wouldn't do to anyone's face. He wouldn't do it to anybody's face. There's not much I wouldn't do to anybody's face.

Let me go through the list. I do a lot to a person's face. The first thing that Dr. Dick Devine will not do to his face or does not want you to do to your face, Russian lips. Yeah. Now this is where you inject filler inside the lip. Inside, and it gives a little lift like that.

So you look like, oh my God, you know, like that. Like you get more of a kind of curl up. Where do they usually inject it? Into the outside. Really? Yeah, I didn't even know, right? I wouldn't have even thought you'd go inside. I've never had lip filler, by the way.

Because I got naturally. What you don't want to do is get one Russian lip and one Ukrainian lip. Yeah. They'll be fighting the whole time. Your mouth will never shut. The Ukrainian one retreats back like that, and then the Russian one is forward like that. Yeah, I don't, yeah.

Well, that's what he said. They look plumper than normal lip fillers, and you just look like a duck. To each their own. But to me, when people get that turned out thing and you see the inside of the lip becomes the outside, it's a bit much. And does that never go down?

No. What's the word? Disintegrate over time, basically. Dissolve over time. Dissolve is the word. Because if it stretched the skin, right, it would... And then you get flappy, wrinkly lips. You would get flappy, wrinkly lips. Yes, like stretching any part of the body. The other

thing on his list are thread lifts. Now, I didn't know what this is, but he said they're painful, they're very expensive, and they don't last. So he's like, there's just no point to them. Instead of like pulling your skin back and stapling it for a facelift like that way and like stitching it back, you put these tiny little threads under the skin and they pull

the thread so that your face goes back like that. Imagine. So there's threads throughout the skin. And then what they break over time. Temporary sutures, basically. And then, yeah, they dissolve similar to thingies. And is the idea your skin will be like, oh, no, I like it up here.

I'll stay up here now. Or it just goes back to where it was. Your skin will always just go back. It just slides back down. It's gravity, hon. Can't fight gravity. Can't fight the moonlight and you can't fight gravity. His other third thing.

And you can't fight crazy. No. His other third thing is he would never get treatments by a beautician or non-medical professional. Okay. Yeah, that kind of goes without saying. I wouldn't do that. Yeah.

Fourth on the list, he would never use a filler, a juvederm filler. Oh. Do you know what that is? Yeah. It's just a brand of filler. Just a brand. What is a juvederm? It's a type of dermal filler used to add volume in specific areas of the face, cheeks and lips.

He said in his experience, the filler gradually swells with time so the initial result can become distorted. And lastly on his list of five things, this is a cosmetic surgeon, he would never do sunbeds. Oh yeah, come on. And I mean, I guess it's like being out in the sun without

sunscreen, right? It just causes your skin to wrinkle. They were all the rage when I was in high school. I've never had a sunbed. Do they even have them now? Yeah. Places still have them. I saw one in Ponsonby the other day and I was like, huh? But I remember getting a friend, you know, a

10 trip card for her birthday. Yeah, a concession trip. To tanning beds. You basically got your friend a skin cancer card. We bought Maria skin cancer for her birthday. Yeah, got your friend a skin cancer card. We bought Maria skin cancer for her birthday. Yeah, but it's a long wait. Well, happy birthday.

It's coming. Isn't that terrible? You should check in on Maria. Yeah, well, I caught up with her the other day. She's still with us. Okay, great. But I will take full responsibility when the skin cancer happens. Yeah. Have you guys been to a baby But I will take full responsibility when this happens. When the skin cancer happens. Yeah. Okay. Play it.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Have you guys been to a baby shower before? Did I go to your baby's shower? No. No. No. Well, Indy came early before the baby shower. That's right.

And then so Sade was like, I'll do the baby shower for the second baby. And then you just had a luncheon with the girls. Yeah, nice. Traditionally, that's how that rolls. I didn't go to that. the girls traditionally. I didn't go to that. No, I didn't go to that either. I try to avoid all of that. First birthdays like the baby doesn't even know what's going on. Yeah, I had flights to Christchurch for a baby shower

but when I got there the baby was there. It was even better. Now we don't have to sit around and play stupid games. That's a twofer. Have a sniff of the baby and get home. I threw a baby shower once for my bestie's first baby. I didn't really know what I was doing. I was only like 23 and then I

it was quite, it was alright. Okay. And then because I don't You didn't know what you were doing? It was more of a hen's night? Yeah, I did. I arrived and I had brought all this vodka and wine and I had all this, my mum did all this food and stuff. Yeah. And I brought all this vodka and wine and my bestie's mum

turned up and she was like, God, I love you, Hayley. Like, this is not what a baby shower is, but good for you. Good for you. And I was like, oh, I've got some games. I've got some games organised. Yeah. Well, there was a woman in lieu of a baby shower, she decided to have a nesting party.

So I had my nesting party last night instead of a baby shower. My friend Bree organized it. I sent her a list of things that I wanted to get done before baby came and she made little cards for each person to take

to take on a section of the house. And everything was so clean and organized and I feel so much more ready for this baby. I know. Now listen, her voice is really annoying yeah i understand and she said before baby came do you know i have such pet peeve about people calling their baby baby yeah well we just need to get ready because baby's coming and you're like what the baby the baby is coming the baby's coming our baby's coming my baby's coming so her

friends go to her house and clean it up for her. This is smart though. Yeah, despite the voice, this is smart. So instead of going around and sitting around and giving little toys and stuff, and then actually if you go around and have the baby shower at the person's house, you actually leave a mess. Yeah. Yeah.

You go around and you get all your girlfriends to basically deep clean the house. And if you watch the video, like these women are on their hands and knees. They're like toothbrushing the tiles and vacuuming this and doing all the mantles, getting all the dust off of everything. It'll be the last time that house is that clean. Yeah. For years. For years.

When baby arrives, the house is like ready to go. That makes so much more sense to me. Sounds like I'd be busy for that. If I ever had to throw a baby shower again, I will say though, come on girls, tick, tick. You know, the clock's ticking, most of my friends. You know, get it out. Oh, I thought you meant the clock's ticking. Hurry up and clean so we can have some vodkas.

Yeah, I was just trying the whole biological clocks ticking thing, but it didn't feel good. Next, if I ever have to throw a baby shower again, I'll definitely suggest this instead. It's so much better. And you can drink while you're doing it. Yes. Champagne.

I reckon you should just do this like monthly. You know what I mean? Have your friends over for a cleaning bee. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Don't get your cycles synced up. Because how I know, it's how I know that it's about to happen in our house. There'll be a thorough.

Bit of nesting. There'll be a loud proclamation that this house is a goddamn mess. Yes. There's shit everywhere. Oh, my God. I can't handle it. Please get your shit off the bench. What's this stuff doing here?

Yeah. Whose is this? Yeah. And then if there was some sort of army of travelling woman who all turn up at various stages of their cycle. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amp to support a sister? Yes. Great idea. And I'll just get the hell out the way. Oh, oh, oh. Just go to the treehouse. Hide in the treehouse. I'll take my shit off the bench. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM.

From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi. What's up, boy? Oh, you know, girl. You know. There's been a survey of households commissioned by Agribusiness Bank, Robobank, which I always thought was Robobank. I thought it was Robobank.

It was Robobank. Robobank. I am Robobank. Robobank. And a national food rescue organisation called Kiwi Harvest. 21% of households surveyed now spend more than $300 a week on groceries compared to 15% in a survey last year, this time last year. Wow, yeah. So that's no surprise to anyone, is it?

The survey of 1,500 New Zealanders in July and August this year found households were now spending an average of $238 a week on food, up 9% a year ago. So that's the average one. This is very interesting. The number of vegans has fallen. And fewer Kiwis were planning to reduce meat consumption. Because I guess you've just

got to, like, get a full belly and meat, while it's more expensive, isn't as expensive as the meat alternatives, which is still quite expensive. Quite expensive. So it's too expensive to be a vegan now. Jeepers.

Now you'll remember in the lead up to the election, when questioned by, I believe, Jessica Munch-McCoy? I'm not sure. Was it Jessica Munch-McCoy? It was during one of the leaders debates. Christopher Luxon was asked What his weekly grocery bill is And he said $60 And everyone laughed

Even Chris Hipkins laughed You could hear the audience Like everyone laughed And then He's like Oh but it's just me And my wife It was just me

And my partner Yeah We'll drop on that At least a day Like every couple of days I reckon we'd spend. If we stick to it and don't include wine. If you don't go to the pub. Yeah.

Dinner. I mean, that was what everybody said, right? Yeah. He only needs to spend $60 a week because he's on the road the whole time and it's getting picked up by the, I assume the taxpayer. The government. Is picking up the bills and getting taken to dinners and such. Well, I now have in my hands Christopher Luxon's new cookbook,

How to Spend $60 a Week on Groceries. Wow. And I'm going to read you the top six recipes. Surely some hot tips in this. The hottest tips. Number six on the list of the top six recipes from Christopher Luxon's book, $60 a Week on Groceries. Wheat Bix, Wheat Bix, Wheat Bix,

Wheat Bix. Every meal is Wheat Bix. Okay. Sugar? 72 biscuits. Hold your horses there champ. 72 biscuits in a 1.2 kg box. But if you want bananas or brown sugar, tough luck. So just raw dog Wheat Bix.

Maybe with some, you have to make the milk last so you have to water it down if you get through too much milk too quickly. Or when you'veBix. Maybe with some, you have to make the milk last, so you'll have to water it down if you get through too much milk too quickly. Or when you've finished your Weet-Bix, you know there's still some milk in the bowl, pour it back in the jug. Don't do that. Pour it back in the jug.

Well, you're only using it for Weet-Bix. Oh, you're true. So it's no problem. Okay. Number five on the list of the top six recipes from Christopher Luxon's new cookbook, How to Spend $60 a Week on Groceries, dust cake. You guys areceries. Dust cake.

You guys are going to love dust cake. Okay. Instead of flour, dust. Dust. Household dust. Yep. Instead of baking soda, dust. And instead of cocoa powder, outside dust.

Oh, okay. Because it's got a bit more colour to it. Yeah. And then you make the cake. How long do you bake it for? You don't know how to bake it. Yeah. And then you make the cake. How long do you bake it for? You don't know how to bake it because that would make your power bill too high. So you just raw cake batter.

Yeah. With some dust. Just let it set. Let it set. Oh, right. Let it harden. The gelatin and the dust. Like a raw cake.

Like how you make a raw cake. You set it. Yeah, okay. Number four on the list of the top six recipes from Christopher Lux's new $60 a week on groceries book. Gracious salad. It's like Caesar

salad, but it's just all different sorts of grass. Go for a walk. Yeah, you go for a walk and you pick some grass. Maybe some native grasses. That'd be nice though. If you look outside, there's a couple of different grasses in our little garden outside. We've got some nice blades

in this country. Some big blades. Yeah. Yeah, not flax though. It's too chewy. Yeah, too chewy. It's way too chewy. Number three on the list

of the top six recipes from the Prime Minister's $6 a week on grocery book. You guys heard of tap water? Yeah, I've heard of it. You guys are going to love frozen tap water. Okay. You freeze the tap water.

How would you hold the water? In the freezer? In a container. Right. Just one that you find. Yeah, right. Okay. You wash it and you put it in there

and then it's frozen and you can eat it and it's like water has become food. What does it taste like? Tap water but cold. Oh wow. Don't do this at Fletcher's house. His tap water is thick. Get out. Fletcher's tap water sucks.

I will not stand by this. How do you not have one of those little taps beside your tap that goes through a filter that takes out all of the yuck? It's not my fault. No, I know it's not your fault, but you've got to remedy it. City water. It's just city water.

It's thick, man. It's so thick. It's heavy. It's thick. It tastes like you're taking a drink from a pool. It was a hard swallow. Wow. Get it down.

It's the last time I host you guys at my house. That's why I didn't drink enough water, because I couldn't stomach it. So it's my fault that you got that drunk. Or it's easier to drink vodka. Right. Number two on the list of the top six recipes from the Prime Minister's

$60 a week on groceries cookbook. You guys are going to love this one. He talks about how plants are basically just eating for free. Oh yeah. Sunlight. Right. You just eat sunlight.

Go outside and open your mouth and go Blue skies today, finally Get a good meal Yeah, get a bit through the skin Where are the blue skies? I can see a skerrick of blue over there Great use of skerrick Thank you

Great use of skerrick Thank you so much That little flash of private education Yeah, it is Because I've never used that word in my life I've heard it But I've never used that word in my life. I've heard it, but I've never used it. Skerrick. Welcome, darling.

Skerrick. Skerrick. Is it Skerrick or Skerrick? We're a big Skerrick family. Skerrick. Just a Skerrick. The smallest bit. S-K-E-R-R-I-C-K.

Oh, that's how I would have spelt it too. I might not have put a K on the end because I would have assumed it was French. This is the example they use on Google. There's not a Skeric of food in the house. Well, you wouldn't say that if you had a private education. There's always food in the house. Yeah. I'll tell you what, it didn't cost $60.

Even if you only spent $60 on it. And number one on the list of the top six recipes from the Prime Minister's new $60 a week on groceries cookbook. This is a pud. Oh, okay. Yum. Yum. Yum. Just had a delicious feed of sunlight.

Next up for pud, air. Okay. Take a few deep breaths. Is it different to sunlight? Oh, wait, I'm too full. You're hogging it. Well, yeah. I know, that's what I'm saying. Don't go overboard. Save some air for the rest

of us. I know, I'm really sorry, guys. I hogged the air pod there, but enjoy, yeah. Don't go overboard on the air. Save some air for the rest of us. I know. I'm really sorry, guys. I hogged the airport there. Yeah, you did. But enjoy it all. That is today's Sub 6. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

What would you say is your favourite show of all time? So hard, eh? When people say, what's your favourite movie? There's so many. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I mean, Breaking Bad. Wasn't that just perfect? Yeah, it was perfect. It was was perfect for so was Sopranos

So was Curb Your Enthusiasm White Lotus White Lotus So good I don't know There's lots of lists on lots of sites But this is a pretty big one That asked a lot of people

The greatest TV shows of all time And I'm sorry to say that number 20 is Big Brother. I've lost faith in this. The reality show. Really? Yeah. I mean, culturally, it's been a thing for so long, hasn't it? So you could argue that.

Sure. Maybe that's why. 13 is The Sopranos. 14, Sex and the City. Yeah. Twin Peaks, 11. We'll start at number 10, though. Okay.

Work through the list. Number 10 is The Wire. Great show. Great show. Great show. Constantly on these lists of greatest shows of all time. I don't normally watch a show twice, but that is a show I feel like, because it's getting, I mean, it's getting old now.

There was a lot. And there was a lot. Each season was packed. I feel like you could watch that again. Yeah. The Wire and Breaking Bad were kind of happening at the same time, eh? No, Wire was finished as Breaking Bad started. Oh, okay. The Wire was

a weird one. It kind of bubbled under the surface for a little bit. Yeah. And then blew through and everyone was like, okay, we've got four seasons to watch now, catch the fifth. There you go. Number nine is The Simpsons. Great show. Yeah. Longevity-wise, it can't be doubted.

Number eight is Battlestar Galactica. Okay, I've lost faith in this list. I saw it quite quickly. People love that. Very, very popular show. Yeah, number seven is... I don't know. Just because you don't like it.

You've got this weird thing. You can't understand why people don't like things that you don't like. Yeah. It's odd, though. That's odd. But in terms of artistic output, I don't really things, like things that you don't like. I mean, you don't get that. But in terms of like artistic output, I don't really know that that's there. Number seven is MASH. Oh, yep.

Okay. Great show. I've been on it for a long time. Number six is The Office. They don't specify, but I'm going to say it's American given this list. Great show.

I love it. It's one of my top shows. I still haven't watched it. So perfect. Yeah. Are you, can you not bring yourself to watch? I'm a purist.

Yeah, because of the UK office? Yeah. Same. Nah, it's more palatable because David Brent was so painful. But that's what made it so great. But that's why it was perfect that it was so short. Yeah. Because David Brent, you couldn't have done a 24-episode season with David Brent.

No. There was just no way. Michael Scott's painful, Steve Care Brent. No. There was just no way. Michael Scott's painful. Steve Carell, but in a you know, you can look at it way. Yeah. Okay, top five. Frasier number five. Which has just had the reboot, hasn't it? I watched the first episode of the

reboot and it was terrible. I was a fan of the original Frasier. Oh, I wasn't. Not a fan. There was no Niles in this reboot. Number four, Three's Company. Old show. Number three, Three's Company. Old show. Number three, Game of Thrones. Yeah, here we go. Fantastic.

Here we go. These are classics. Your White Lotuses aren't on this list. Number two, Seinfeld. Seinfeld. Great show. Number one, Friends.

Oh, what a time. Comedy heavy at the top comedy heavy now they did do you see that the the other five made a joint statement yes yesterday

basically saying like devastated we'll say more in time yeah but for now like exactly what we were saying yesterday like what can you say you'd just be absolutely

more than friends they're a family thinking of his family but that they'll say more later but they're just reeling we were saying yesterday. Like, what can you say? You'd just be absolutely devastated. More than friends. They're a family. Thinking of his family, but they'll say more later, but they're just reeling. But friends, what a show. Number one.

Number one. Oh, dude. Smooth, man. That was so smooth. Pull down the fader of the friend song, trying to kick off the ads. Absolutely missed it in you. You missed the button.

Yeah, I did. Missed it. Missed it. Do we want to do that again or not? Click something else. Okay, I'll just do this. Number friends. Oh, hang on.

Hang on, hang on. That's strike two. Leave it to Vaughn. Leave it to Vaughn. One number friends. That friends. Hell of a TV show. That was the cue.

Play. Zed-Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Titanic, three hours, 14 minutes. Gone with the wind, three hours hours 14 minutes. Gone With The Wind, 3 hours 58 minutes. Lawrence of Arabia, 3 hours 42 minutes. Ben-Hur, 3 and a half hours. Godfather Part II, 3 hours 22 minutes. Cleopatra, 3 hours 53 minutes.

Jesus, that's four hours. That is just... Hamlet, 1996, 4 hours 2 minutes. God, they made movies back in the day so long. I know. Your Fellowship of the Ring comes in at three and a half if you go for the director's one. They're some very long movies.

Well, people are calling for intermissions because these movies are coming out lately, like the new Martin Scorsese one, Killary Flower Moons. Also, if you go to the theatre, you get an intermission if it's longer than like 90 minutes. But I always feel that was just something that could sell you overpriced drinks and candies.

No, it's because people get bored. Do you know, the longest film ever released was an experimental film. It went for 35 days and 17 hours. I'll need a couple of wee breaks, I reckon. Absolutely silly. Martin Scorsese, I was reading reading was asked about this the other week and he said, well, people sit down and watch a really well-crafted TV

show and spend like 12 hours at home over a couple of days. Where they can pause it and go wheeze and get something to eat and do other stuff they need to do. But I think his point was in one sitting, people could easily bust through like three or four episodes, you know? Yeah, totally.

You've got to have highs and lows and take me on a journey and surprise me. But if it was good enough for Ghostbusters 2 at the Whangamata movie theatres whenever that came out. Also, I saw that years after it came out because Whangamata's movie cinemas always got the movies when everybody else was done with them.

But there was an intermission then, and that's not that long a movie. Correct me if I'm wrong, the older cinemas had to do that because they had to change the reels. They didn't have projectors big enough to carry the whole reel. So they had to get the reel in two parts. I believe so. Yeah, right.

Should movies in the cinema have an intermission? 44% of people said yes. 56% said no. 44% saying yes? that's quite a bit more than I thought it would have been yeah same it's just because you don't want to miss

the pivotal moments when you need to pee the only thing with an intermission is that it extends the whole experience yes yeah

how long is the intermission 20 minutes generally it's like a half time in a rugby game and there's already 20 to 30 minutes of faffing ads at the front

I know so now we're like adding an extra bloody hour basically to the process Half time in a rugby game. Yeah, 20 to 30. And there's already 20 to 30 minutes of faffing ads at the front, isn't there? So now we're like adding an extra bloody hour, basically, to the process. Can't be bothered. I'm going home. I like the trailers. I still do like watching trailers. Same.

Do you? For movies in the movie theatre. Yeah. I do also like that thing that goes... Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Dolby. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

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Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

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Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

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Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow divine. You know the intermission's coming when you start smelling the cookies that you ordered prior to the movie starting. Great pee break time too, of course. Oh, so you order the cookies. A halftime cookie. Imagine if you didn't order the cookie and then the smell of cookies comes in and you're like, I have made a grave, grave mistake. You would. Say, can I have a cookie? They'd be like, did you order a cookie?

And you'd be like, no. And they'd say, can't have a cookie then. And you'd be like, please! I'll pay double! I'll pay whatever you want! You can't have a cookie then. Yeah, and you'd be like, please, I'll pay double. Yeah. I'll pay whatever you want. You pay double for a cookie. A says, I grew up in a town that had intermissions. It adds something to the experience like running to the toilet

during an ad break used to for the television. Yeah. Yeah. Helen, my pregnant ass don't want to miss a thang. So a break would be great.

She's, oh yeah. If you're pregnant and the baby's pushing on the bladder and you've got to sit through 3 and whatever hours of Martin Scorsese it also depends where you're watching it and where the toilet is some of the toilets are like way away

and you've got to do like a run yeah some of them are right by the door I'll always trot to the bathrooms I go all the time. I'll just be, I'll be like, I'm getting pretty good at picking when in the movie you can dip out. You pee like twice during a movie. Yeah, me too.

Because at the minute I feel like I need to go, I'm not sitting here uncomfortably. I've paid a fortune. I'm just going to nip out real quick. I'll be back in a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Same. And then when I'm out there, I'll get another big drink and then I'll climb myself in an endless cycle.

While I'm out here, what? Carmen says, if they're longer than two hours, then yes, I do believe. Yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't want it for a 90 minute movie, but a three hour movie should definitely, anything over three, have an intermission. Anything over two. Alex does say,

ruins the flow, excuse the pun. Yeah, that's another argument too, isn't it? Yeah, some movies used to be made, they knew that they were going to have an intermission, so they'd have a point. Has to be perfectly time-sick, Cody. Can't be just midway through a good bit and it stops for an intermission. Nah, you've got to have an end to act one, you know?

Rhiannon, no, grow up and learn how to use the bathroom before the movie or hold on, oh, we've got a grumpy Rhiannon. Jeepers, where's Lisa? The problem is though they sell you those Giant drinks Huge drinks Like you don't You know You don't need

A litre and a half Of Coke or Fanta I would never Drink that anywhere else But the movies Yeah anywhere else You'd be like Oh that is extravagant

Oh no It's like a beer at the airport At 7 o'clock in the morning You're like I wouldn't dare But I'm at the airport I'll have a couple Yeah

It's like at the movies I will get the largest Frozen Coke No one to man But only because I'm at the airport. I have a couple. Yeah. It's like at the movies. I will get the largest frozen Coke. No one to man. Exactly. But only because I'm here sitting in the dark. Yeah. In a fantasy world. That's a little poll.

16 past seven. Next on the show. Five selfie styles. I've got my style. I take a good selfie. I'm going to tell you what these five selfie styles are someone's worked

these out is one of them a boomer one where they don't know they've taken it just the wrong way whenever I take a selfie with a group

I always say oh give me the camera I've got a good selfie arm I did it the other day with the girls actually so you know when you're in a group and someone's like

no get in a bit I'm like give it to me and you're on the side and you're like that I've got a good angle good long arm a bit. I'm like, give it to me. And she's on the side and you're like that. I've got a good angle, good long arm. I get everyone in, everyone's looking good. It's your big long arm. Vaughn, you're also our group selfie kind of taker with your long arm.

You've got a long arm. Unlike you, you're like a T-Rex. Little tiny arms. Little tiny arms, yay. Take my stroll hand, I'm mashing the taters. Oh my god, that That was so problematic, but so funny. Scary movies. All the scary movies are very problematic.

They've aged atrociously. I cannot even think of the last time I watched one of those scary movies. I watched one of them like a few months back, and it was fucking... Which one did you watch? I can't remember, but it was very... Two was the best. Yeah, two was the peak. Yeah, they ended up going to eight or something.

Yeah. Ridiculous. I was going to say they'll go a lot higher than you remember. Second only to Fast and the Furious. Speaking of selfies, this is my selfie style, is what the hell is that? Stop picking. You always pick.

I do pick. Oh, great news. The pimple on the inside of the end of my nose is gone. Oh, my God. I had one there for the last couple of weeks. So sore. Sore and you just can't get it. Yeah.

You just can't get it. You can never get it. God, I'm looking rough, team. Anyway, that's my selfie style is I'm looking rough. And six. Six is rough. So a new study has been, psychologists have done a study of the five main selfie styles. Okay.

I saw it. I was like, styles. Okay. I saw it. I was like, what? And now I understand it. Five distinct categories. One, aesthetics. Selfies that show off style or aesthetic experience. You know, like, maybe when we went to that place, it was like the selfie

place of the world. It had all those weird backdrops. Oh, yeah, wasn't that great? And then it had terrible lighting so we all looked like green. Yeah, yeah. It was really bad lighting. Aesthetics. You're just going like, look at this, I've got a nice house

and I look nice. It's all about the aesthetics. Right. The second one is imagination. Selfies that make viewers imagine where the selfie taker was or what they were doing. So that could be like a, do you reckon like a view? Or like a little like downward set up of like a coffee and a notebook.

But that's not a selfie. That's not a selfie, no. Because you've got to be in a selfie. You're self-taking the selfie. It drives me nuts when people put their phone on like a timer on a tripod and they're like, just a little selfie or refer to that as a selfie because that's not a selfie. But it is a self-timed photo though, isn't it? It's a timer.

It's a timed photo. Selfie, I fear you've got to be holding it right. Yeah, I don't really, I don't understand the imagination well. I'm trying to find more on it, but. When are we going to get to the one about the ass? Objects that trigger your imagination. 90% of selfies is something to do with the ass. So they're saying that every selfie fits into one of these five.

One of these five. Okay. So aesthetics, imagination. The next one is traits. Selfies that elicit personality-related assumptions. So something about yourself like, ah, I'm crazy. I'm a wild gal. Yeah.

Stuff like that. Like, ah, I'm a rock and roll punk gal. That's just who I am. The next one is state. Selfies that reveal mood or atmosphere of the moment. Like, hey, guys, like just going through some stuff at the moment. Don't want to talk about it. But you're talking about it.

Yeah. But the selfie. My advice would be if you don't want to talk about it, you probably wouldn to talk about it. But you're talking about it. Yeah. But the selfie... My advice would be if you don't want to talk about it, you probably wouldn't talk about it. Yeah, right. Because when you talk about it and not want to talk about it, you fuel the want to talk about it. You look cute. You do look cute when you're sad. Like, do you know what I mean?

Show me what that looked like. Yeah, that's amazing. No, that's terrible. It looks like you sneezed. No, see, teenage Hayley might have been able to nail the emo angle. The ability to do an emo angle without looking like a creep

disappears around your late 20s, I reckon. Sad, I guess. Now you just look confused. You're shrugging your shoulders. Yeah, these are great. These are all great. I just want people to know the state I'm in. I'm sad. They don't want to talk about confused. You're shrugging your shoulders. Yeah, these are great. These are all great. I just want people to know the state I'm in. I'm sad. They don't want to talk about it. You're a shambles.

And the last one is theory of mind. Selfies that cause viewers to make assumptions about the selfie taker's motives or identity. God, that's a bit deep. Yeah, that's deep. What about when someone, I've noticed- One of these is about dad ass. Dad ass.

I love when I notice this is when someone's Like they haven't hard or soft launched A new boyfriend or girlfriend But they'll just do a pan and then stop at an arm Yeah and they're like hee hee I would consider that a soft launch Would that be a soft launch? That's a tip of a soft launch

That's the start of a soft launch When they're like in bed and they're like nuzzled up against a shoulder But they're like hee hee That's a soft launch A soft launch invites questioning, whereas a hard launch answers the question. But then that would go to the motive, like you say, like your motive operando.

Yeah, totally. What's your MO of the selfie? My motive always is tell me I'm pretty. Okay, right. You know what I mean? I'm not taking a photo just to have a document of it. Right. Tell me I'm pretty. Okay. Do you know what I mean? I'm not taking a photo just to have a document of it. Right. Tell me I'm beautiful.

Right. So you expect that in the comments every time? Oh, I just submitted. I wouldn't. Don't share that photo you just took before if that's the end game. Sorry? You should be. She was laughing, but I don't know if that was a laugh. Sorry? You should be. She was laughing, but I don't know if that was a laugh.

Sorry? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's. I was getting ready for bed yesterday, and because we don't have a bathroom, I just turned my selfie mirror and I was like, these brows have got to get done today. I've got pain all over my face.

I can't really like look at myself. Look at this. It's just a mess in here. Anyway, so when I get ready for bed, like it's all in the kitchen. Wash our teeth, brush our teeth in the kitchen. I moisturise in the kitchen, clean my face in the kitchen.

God, it's going to be so great when you have a bathroom. You'll join the rest of us in the normal world. Back to normality. And then I went, I finished brushing my teeth and that's sort of the last thing. I go to put my, get my retainer out of its cup. And I was like, I've sort of been noticing each day there's three retainers in there.

Do you wear these so you don't grind? Because you're a grinder. I'm a grinder also to keep my teeth straight. So I've straightened them twice and I'm not going to do it again. I went to go get my retainers. How do they straighten your teeth? Braces?

No, they just, I mean, I've had braces and Invisalign that you wear a retainer at night to keep them straight. Right. Do they still, like even when they're crooked, mine are crooked

and they go pretty ham on a steak. When mine, I've got bad teeth. Oh. Yeah, for sure. Powdery. They're like, I've got this. Oh, they're chipped. Oh.

Oh. Don't do that, then. Oh, yeah. Don't bang them together. Anyway, so I got my retainer out, and I was like, man, the water in the cup is getting low. And I was like, how is it evaporating into the room? Is it, you know, like what's happening?

And then I like put two and two together and I looked over at the Remu bench and there's little muddy pores on there. My little shit cat has been lapping from my retainer juice. Yuck. It's yuck. And wait, please tell me even you were changing the water every day. No, not every day. But you're putting your retainer in there and then in your mouth.

I pull the retainer out of the water and I give it a little scrub with my toothbrush and then I rinse it and then I chuck it in. The cup's just there to keep it wet. Yuck. Yuck. Do you know why? It's because I broke, on my birthday, when I came home like a tornado,

I kicked over my cat's cup. Now, he doesn't lap from a bowl, will not lap from a bowl, whole life. Has to have a human glass that he puts his whole snout into and lap from it. Right. Since I kicked over his cup, all we had was a bowl. So I was like, you just have to learn to lap from the bowl. But he won't do it. Right. Since I kicked over his cup, all we had was a bowl. So I was like, you just have to learn to lap

from the bowl. But he won't do it. And I see him out on the renovation site lapping from little tarpaulin pools like this. That does my head in. You've got this bowl with water in it for cats. We've got bowls everywhere. We've got dog water bowls, we've got cat water bowls, we've got an inside one for the old dog. Yeah. And then you see a

cat outside drinking from the pool. I know. you're like you dumb idiot that's chlorinated our tilers leave buckets outside under our porch bit

with water and stuff from grout or glue that they've you know done with and they'll fill up with water

and then it just rolls in the air and the cat's like huh my owners don't provide me with fresh tap water I've never had

gross ground water before so because he likes the shape I've just got the at the moment my retainer's just in a cup

because he likes the shape he's been you've been basically making out with your cat yuck for me yuck for all parties

concerned yuck for all of it yeah and they're like so I had to wash them yesterday and like ooh out with your cat. Yuck for me. Yuck for all parties concerned. Yuck for all of it. Yeah. So I had to wash them yesterday and like, ooh, Rolly. Just yuck. Now I wouldn't eat a dolphin. Neither. I've said that for a long time.

I said regardless of how delicious it might look, I don't think I'd eat a dolphin. I'm quite staunch against eating dolphins. Okay, so we're all on board. I don't think I'd eat a dolphin. I'm quite stoned against eating dolphins. Okay, so we're all on board and no one on the show would eat a dolphin. Absolutely not. Eat one. Oh, jeez, man. Have you got something you need to get off your chest if you're eating

a dolphin? No, I've seen The Cove. Oh my god, I've cried so much in the movie. Don't want to talk about it. Haven't seen it. Don't want to talk about it. You can't just turn a blind eye to what's happening there. I will. You need to look it in the eye and face't want to talk about it. Haven't seen it. Don't want to talk about it. You can't just turn a blind eye to what's happening there. I will. You need to look it in the eye

and face it. I'm against it, but I don't want to watch the movie. Why don't you make a public statement? Make a public statement. I don't like making public statements. Well, then you can't care about it then. He doesn't care.

Well, Dolphin's, Fletcher's favourite roast meal have joined... It's good sushi, me. That's because you guys did Wonder Why and got that really wide oven. That's why. his favourite roast meal have joined It's good sushi meme. That's because you guys did wonder why I got that really wide oven. That's why.

He whole bakes them. The 900 wide oven wasn't enough. No. We went standard 600. Now I wish we'd gone two 600s. You know,

if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right. Get two 600 wide ovens. Well, I've got a two metre wide oven. Yeah. Because I whole roast miniature dolphins.

Miniature dolphins. Pygmies. Yeah, two metres. No, I've got a two metre wide oven. Yeah. Because I whole roast miniature dolphins. Yeah. Miniature dolphins. Pygmies. Yeah, two metres. No, I could never. No, just babies. Babies fresh from the womb. Who is still eating? What country isn't eating dolphins? I thought we'd all stop that.

Where do baby dolphins come out? The cloaca. They've got mammals. We're getting wildly off topic. Well, we're not really because it is about baby dolphins. Birth of a dolphin. Researchers have found that bottlenose dolphins modify the pitch and range of whistles when communicating with their calves, similar to how humans speak to their children.

To keep them in line. Well, yeah, that too, but like, hello, and how are you? It's a different, it's a higher pitched tone to speak to them. And then also apparently have like special whistles and clicks for their family. You know, everybody knew the family, the weird family that had a whistle. Our family didn't. We didn't have a whistle. We just had a mother who would scream.

I heard a family whistling the other day at the supermarket. I was like, it's so wild. It's like a little call. Yeah. I've got like a special call and if you hear that whistle, you go towards it. It's apparently less embarrassing

than yelling, but I don't know. Yeah. If my mum was walking around the supermarket going, gah, gah. Smiths unite. Yeah.

Some sort of uniting call. Yeah. But dolphins do it too. Yeah. And so do monkeys. Monkeys, bats and songbirds. Okay. Oh. But dolphins do it too. Yeah. And so do monkeys. Monkeys, bats and songbirds. Okay. Oh.

Have joined the ranks. We didn't have a specific call to like greet, but we do have family noises. What do you mean family noise? Like just something that... So why do you do that? To wake up. Oh my God.

I wish my mum had done that when she was waking herself. Yeah, so my mum wakes up everyone and now that's how we wake up other people. My mum used to just yell at the top of the stairs. Flick the curtains open. My mum would walk in, boot the door open, flick the curtains open.

Get up the flames for her. First time it was get up and if you didn't, curtains open, then rip the duvet off. Oh no. Take it with her sometimes. Very lovely.

Oh my God, that's a nice way to wake up. Yeah, you wake up and you're like, what are the noises? What was that? The cats. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, okay. That's sort of a whistly version of a

puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. So, Jared, by the way, I want you to dolphin be born. I just wanted to know how it came out. That's beautiful. Finn first! I didn't expect it to come Finn out. That's beautiful. That's about to hurt. Finn first. I didn't expect it to come Finn first.

That's a breach situation. Was the Finn folded when it came out? That's a wide thing to come out first. I know. You didn't expect the nose to make its way out. Oh, gosh. He's really trying to wriggle it out. Producer Jared, they had different whistles per child.

In your family, really? Yeah. What was your one? Mine was... Which is fairly classic. That's fairly standard. Yep, okay. And then my sister's was like...

Oh, yeah. So you had different whistles per child. And then your attractive sibling was... And our dog had a separate one and the cockatiels had a separate one. So your parents had grouped you up with the animals? With the dog and the cockatiel. And it didn't cross my mind until we were at the fishing shop

and my dad whistled for me from the other end and my mate was like, dude, did your dad just whistle for you? Whistle at you. And I was like, yeah. But families do this. Yeah. Come to think of it,

it is weird because I've whistled. I've been like outside, like fingers in the mouth to get someone's attention. And so when they come out, Shada's like, don't whistle at me. I'm not a dog. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I can see maybe it's not for everybody. But we were wondering this morning, did your family have a noise?

Did your family have a whistle or was there a noise you kept an air out for that meant, you know, get back here, reunite, find me, let's reconvene. Maybe the family was spread out over a warehouse or a Kmart and out came the whistle. Maybe it was an embarrassing one. You know those fathers that had those like robust whistles, you'd be like, that's born. Yeah, get the fingers in the mouth.

I used it last night trick-or-treating just to let them know where I was. A lot of people everywhere, just fingers. And everyone looks. Everybody looks. And then you just put your hand up. Yeah, right. You point at the kid that's yours. Yeah.

I was also looking at them. We want to know if your family had a noise or a whistle. It's quite a common thing. In the animal kingdom. In the animal kingdom and also in humans at the mall or the supermarket. So message is in. My mum and I do the classic

Marco and Polo when lost in stores. Oh yeah. It's a classic game of Marco Polo. My parents have friends called Marco and Pola. Really makes me laugh. Oh, that's good stuff.

That is really good stuff. Marco. Pola. Our family has a whistle and now it's been passed on to the next generation. Okay. My husband and I still use it. That is really good stuff. Marker. Paola. Our family has a whistle, and now it's been passed on to the next generation. Okay. My husband and I still use it.

We're an ex-South African family. We whistle to locate each other to get their attention. My kids have started, and it's brilliant. My wife does it too. She's a Kiwi. She's bought into the whistle. Lisa, does your family have a sound or a whistle? Yeah, well, they used to when I grew up.

I'm old now. So I grew up on a farm in rural Australia and obviously this was pre-mobile phone times. So we used to play on the farm and go out all day. And if it was dinner time or there was an emergency, we had this massive cow bell. It would be about, I don't know, 40 centimetres by 40 centimetres. And my mum would just ring it and you would hear it literally kilometres away, up to five kilometres away.

Oh, my God. That is so fun. It was a huge farm and so even if we were up a tree or whatever, you knew if you heard the bell there was either a fire or it was dinner time or whatever and we had to come home. That's genius. It's quite a big gap between fire and dinner time though, isn't it? Well, you know, in Australia there's genius. It's quite a big gap between fire and dinner time, though, isn't it? Well, you know, in Australia, there's fires.

Like, she would only ring it if we absolutely had to be home. Right. So if you didn't ring it, like, it would ring, like, once a week. I'm not saying she didn't ring it willy-nilly. Yeah. No, no. It must have been loud. If you heard that, yeah, you had to come home.

It was hugely loud. The neighbours could hear it. What about your poor old mum ringing the bell? She must have had to... some earmuffs on. It had a big rope on it, and farmer's wives were pretty strong. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Amazing. Lisa, thank you.

Keep your messages coming in. 9696 0800 dials it in. Your family's noises. How are you summoned? We'll get to more of those next. We're talking about your family's whistles and noises that you use to communicate. Because it turns out dolphins now, according to scientists,

are just like humans. Got their own little call for the kids to get back to them and change the tone of how they speak to their kids. Voices go a little bit higher and stuff. That's how I talk to kids. That was angry. That was angry dolphin. They go, oh, there's your kid.

Hello! Shauna, what's your family's noise? So me and my mum, if we go out in public, because we're only little, so my time only is 5'1", if he's 5'3", maybe. Oh, God. You'd fall in a puddle. Yeah, pretty much.

And we both get to wear glasses, but sometimes we don't. So we can't see long distances either. So we get lost in the crowds of people. So if I see her and I need her or I want her attention, I will just do one tone whistle at her and she will stop dead in her tracks. Like what? Show us. But then it's a bit louder.

Okay, and so she'll just know instantly. Because that's the thing, I guess if you're shorter in a crowd, you can't just be like, hey, over here. No. Pretty much. And like, so when I was younger,

I used to just go up to somebody in the shop and be like, I've lost my mom. And I'd plague her and she'd get real embarrassed. So now I just do like this whistle and they'll plague her and she'd get real embarrassed. So now I just do like this whistle and she'll stop dead in her tracks and just basically pivot on the spot scanning the crowd

or the place and she'll find me and then she'll be like, oh. But if I'm looking for her and I can't see her, to whistle to her, I can sound her out by the jingle of her keys or her jewellery. Oh, yeah, I can hear. She's got a lot of jangle, a lot of jangle.

Like, Hayley, you've got a little bit of a jangle. I've got a little bit of jangle, I jangle. Shauna, thank you for your call. Sarah, what's your family's noise to communicate? Cuckoo! Ah! Chicken! Chicken, are you a chicken? Kuku Chicken Are you a chicken?

I wonder if my daughter's at home right now Looking around for one of us Oh my god We don't use this as like a You know, a symbol But kind of more like a chicken You know, like you'll be in the warehouse And you couldn't see one of the kids

So you'd just be like Kuku And they'd echo it We'd be like, oh that's sweet Oh my god, I love That's going to get echo it. We'd be like, oh, that's sweet. Oh, my God, I love. That's going to get to an age soon where that's embarrassing, though, Mum. Well, the children are now 20 and 17. Oh, that's fun.

And you never stopped, all through the teenage years. I love that. That's so good. And actually, I was out on a bushwalk a couple of months ago with my daughter, who's 17, and we were making this noise because we couldn't see each other, and I came across another walker and she goes oh my gosh can you hear that bird? Oh shut up

oh my god. Yes it's the elusive wild giant chicken. Yeah the wild chicken. It's the family lethal. Oh brilliant that's so good Sarah. Just about the bush. Isn't it weird in the bush when your sounds just disappear they just get absorbed. By the bush. Isn't it weird in the bush when your sounds just disappear?

They just get absorbed. By the trees. Yes. It's like nature's pink bats. You're just yelling and it's just not getting anywhere. It's just getting absorbed by the tree. It's just the lovely and the lushest bush. Sarah's got a caw-caw there and that seems to go through the bush.

Yes, through the bush like the birds. It's just amazing. I've always been fascinated by that. Some messages in. Thank you, Sarah. Fascinating. Fascinating. If my kids and I don't answer my husband, he just yells out, ears.

Ears. And that means ears. I like listen. Okay. Had a female colleague that hated it. Went to a meeting one day in separate cars. She was across the road. I used the whistle

and her head popped up like a meerkat. It was just like an automatic reaction. It works. I'm deaf and blind on one side and my partner uses a co-co

to alert me of walking into somebody. So they're blind on one side and co-co. Just take a little step to the left. I don't do that if we're walking down the road

and we want to like alert the other to like something we've found entertaining that we don't want to verbally say, hey, look at that person. Yeah. We squeeze their, we'll grab their hand to hold it and squeeze the side of the hand that they need to look. Oh, yeah. And then if they look that way but they don't do it,

then you grab the hand and angle it, the hand angles it towards the thing. Yes, to pull. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. What are you looking and laughing at? Just dumpers. Just people.

Beautiful dumpers. Peachy dumpers. Beautiful peachy dumpers walking past. Check these ones out. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. We do year on year off my Christmas, Aaron's Christmas. You know, like we spend this year as a courtesy Christmas.

Next year is Sproul Christmas. Yep. But because my brother, we haven't spent a lot of time together, my family, we're having a Sproul Christmas as well on the 20th. Right. So my brother and his partner are coming over from Melbourne to Auckland. And my mum and dad are coming up from the Wairarapa to Auckland and we're doing it at my house, which currently doesn't exist,

which is absurd that that's going to happen. You're getting a toilet today. You're getting a toilet today. That's nice. Yeah, we're getting a toilet today. We'll have a shower. There'll be beds for them to sleep in. But yesterday I was like, Aaron asked me, like,

what do you want for Christmas? Can I just say it's 53 days away today. You're fantastic. I just looked it up. My Lord. I love Christmas. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. There's a couple of things I want.

One is a new sound system for my car because I've blown out the speakers. So when you listen to it, it just rattles and it's awful. Yeah. The second thing is I want a drum kit because, you know, I want to get back into learning drums. Yeah. You don't ask much, eh? Nah. Just small stuff. Yeah, that's small Yeah. You don't ask much, eh? Nah.

Just small stuff. Yeah, that's small stuff. Third, new Deadly Ponies handbag. Yeah. That one there's cheap as chips. Yeah. Fourth, diamond ring for my pinky. Yeah.

Just like small little trinkets. Stuff you'd find in a cracker, you know? Trinkets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like cracker with a cracker and there's an Audi in there. Yeah. I'm like, what?

I assume everything you've mentioned is just going in the Santa sack. Yeah. Oh, those are the small gifts. And then the main gift will be breast lift. Oh, my God. Which you're allowed to ask for for Christmas, but he daren't suggest. Good Lord, the wrath. He would feel if I opened up a plastic surgery voucher.

Didn't you have this argument with him recently? Yeah. You would just say you wanted it and then he would get it for you and you would be like, firstly, sir, how dare you? That is not the answer. So you asked him for it and then he gets in trouble. No, I said something like, oh, God. Because I'd put on weight, I was like, man.

She was testing him. This is a test. I'm going to need to get a breast lift. That noise, if that happens, gentlemen everywhere, and ladies who see ladies. Yeah. Yeah. You're about to be tested.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said something about like, oh God, I've stretched out my boobs. I'm going to have to get a bloody breast lift. And instead of him being like, my love, you have immaculate breasts. Which is what she wanted. This is how he would have passed the test. Picked up his phone for a bit and then went, not that expensive.

Trouble A. Trouble. What was he doing that for? She pointed him. It was like he was going orienteering. Yeah. And she pointed him at a dangerous, dangerous cliff. Yes.

Now, if you go on the other way, there's a bridge. But he's like, well, she's pointed me at this dangerous cliff, so I guess I'm orienteering along here. He didn't know that turning around was an option. And then she pushed him off the cliff. God bless him. Yeah, bless him. God bless him.

Anyway, so he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. And then I asked him him and he was like I don't want anything like look around we've got this house you know all the money's going into that and I said you know what actually yeah man like I want a rug I want bedside cabinets those are the gifts and then I was thinking about Christmas

with my family and I was like what are we doing my brother's spending a fortune to come over from Melbourne my parents are spending a fortune they've just been in Europe for bloody five months. So I just sent the message. Struggling, aren't they? Really? Yeah, and the Mercedes needs a bit of a tune-up.

Yeah, exactly. The last thing we need them to be thinking about is presents. Yeah, I mean, just that. They're renovating three of their four homes at the moment. I mean, it's just a financial tap for them. Anyway, so I put together the group of Sprout Christmas 2023 and I said, here's the suggestion. I know we're all miles out, but we're going to get busy.

I was like, we're thinking, mum's making the entree. Dan and Aaron on the barbecue on the leg of lamb. I'm going to do the ham and the veg. And Sam and Nina can do the thing. And instead of presents, instead of presents, we'll each come up with a cocktail and we'll make it. Perfect.

I like that. Yeah. It's very you. And immediately, because I was like, we always do presents at Christmas. Immediately, everyone was like, thank God.

Yes, thank God. Yes, here we go. Thank you. Do you think a lot of big families will be doing that or just going to a secret Santa where you just buy one present? Or a greedy Santa or a silly Santa or whatever

and you just do a $20 gift or something. Oh, I'm so relieved. And... I was thinking about changing religions to skip the entire... Getting the days off. And then just going back to being a heathen. Or like Jan 1. Yeah.

Not a bad idea. Jan 1 heathen. My new year's resolution is to be a heathen again. Yeah, okay. Yesterday I picked up My secret Christmas Decorations as well Which Aaron doesn't

Know I've bought Isn't that great They're in my boot They have to stay there For a month Right Another reason she Doesn't want to do

Presents Because she spent All the money on Decorations On decorations Yeah because What day do I get My Christmas tree

December 1st I'm so excited I bought birds It's bird and floral themed Yeah nice It'll look good Hey we've actually Put up an OJ Because that's An interesting question What do you want December 1st. I'm so excited. I bought birds. It's bird and floral themed. Yeah, nice. It'll look good. Hey, we've actually put up an OJ because that's an interesting question.

What do you want for Christmas this year? Because some people, it's necessity. Some people, they want fun things still. We put up a, what do you want? I feel like every year there's the must-have thing that people want. But what is it this year? Or do you think people are just going to

peace in the Middle East? I mean, that would be great. I'll go without. I'll go without. I'll go without my present. Peace worldwide. Well, because there's always, every year you talk about, there's always a gift. Usually for the girlies.

Like, what is the gift of the year? Last year was the Dyson Airwrap. Oh, yes, yes. I've got one. You've got one. I've got one. Yeah, before you'd say, I don't know. The COVID vaccine.

It's all I want for Christmas. It's not a lockdown. Here's the jab. We just put up a little box on our Instagram. Tell us what you want for Christmas. We'll work out what the gift is of the year. Yes, and then we can get some great ideas if you are buying something for someone. So yeah, give us

your suggestions. What do you want? FVHZM on Instagram. What do you want for Christmas? I'm gonna do it. Drum kit. There's a question box. Drum want for Christmas I'm gonna do it drum kit drum kit no one else drum kit someone messaged in it's nerf or nothing oh yes

I love that every hour we all just gotta I've still got that nerf one that's just like yeah that's a good one help people shit their pants

when you boot open the door of the lounge and you're like oh my gosh. Booker, booker, booker, booker, booker, booker, booker. Firstly, Vaughan Smith's cynical mind has spotted something to do with Halloween. Yes. This Browns Bay and Torbay pay it forward. Somebody posted saying,

Parents, check your children's Halloween candy. My 14-year-old went out trick-or-treating with some friends in both Manly and Stanmore Bay. And when he came home, I checked what he'd got, and I found a tiny bag of what looked like little willies in his trick-or-treat bag. Oh, God. He has no idea who gave it to him. Have any parents found anything like this? Now, somebody just messaged on the text machine saying, it's pretty funny, but around Carfia, some kids were trick-or-treating and they got little bags of candy willies. I shouldn't be laughing.

Here's my thought. You reckon this is a joke? It's advertising. Oh, for the candy willies. The place that the bags of the willies have the website address on the front, quite large and prominently. So I think these people who own this business, who I've checked, does work.

And it is an existing website. You think it's some genius guerrilla marketing. I think it's genius guerrilla marketing. And so who normally buys these candy willies? You can send somebody anonymously. No, no. If someone annoys you and you carry it on like a penis, you can anonymously send them a message.

But yum. I'd love that. Same. Well, maybe it's not for a mortal enemy. Are they sour though? Because that wouldn't be fun if they were yuck lollies. I can't talk to the taste of them. Haven't had that.

Okay, yeah, right. Haven't had the taste of that. There are different colours. A woolly lolly, like these are a few of my favourite things. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's taken a few boxes for me. Sure.

They look like a candied, a little candied woolly. So maybe like nerd. I'd imagine they look like a nerd but probably not. More like those, you know those

hard tiny fruits? Yeah, I know the ones. That's what I reckon they taste like. Little bananas and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love those. That's what I reckon

they taste like. You went out trick or treating. Was it last night the big night or did most people do it at the weekend? A lot of people do it at the weekend? A lot of people did it at the weekend, but we went out last night because it's Halloween. You've got to go on Halloween.

The weather wasn't looking in our favour, but it held out. We just finished and then it poured down, so, you know. It was bucketing yesterday. Yeah, so just got in before that. But I went with August and her friend and we walked around and they said they were going to walk in front and I could just walk behind. We were zingy. Too cool. and her friend and we walked around and they said they were going to walk in front and I could just walk behind. We was indie. Too cool.

that's the story I'm going to get to next because she asked if she was allowed to go just trick-or-treating with her friends. Like, get dropped off

at a friend's house. No chap. No chap. Get ready together. No chaperone. No trick-or-treating. No uncle dad. Hey,

then we're going back for dinner at their place and then I'll call you later when I need to be picked up. I know. On a school night too. On a school night. So I just say, I said, yeah, that's fine. Don't be at like seven o'clock when you said you're going to be ready,

be messaging saying we're still not there or like, I'm not ready yet. Deal with that earlier. This is where phones are good. Yeah. Because you could text and be like, hey, where are you? Yeah. Whereas with us,. This is where phones are good. Yeah. Because you could text and be like, hey, where are you? Whereas with us, it was like you just sit at home being like, I guess you're dead now. Just waiting for one news to do a breaking news special.

I don't even think our parents were thinking that. Sure, they're right tough as nails. They're like, they'll come back. They'll come back. And then you walk in the door a little late and your parents are like, God damn it. Where have you been? Then they have to pretend they'll come back. They'll guarantee you'll come back. And then you walk in the door a little late and your parents are like, God damn it, where have you been? Then they have to pretend they cared.

Yeah. Come here, let me smell you. Yeah. So I went with August and then we went home and Indy was out trick-or-treating and then Sade's like, what are you doing? And I was doing like prep for today's show, seeing what we can talk about.

And I had my phone open, sitting on a cradle beside me with, find my devices and Indy's phone. sitting on a cradle beside me with find my devices and Indy's phone and I was just like watching her walk. I'd be like, well, actually,

she's walking into an area and that's got bad reception in there. I feel I might lose my tracking soon. And Shadow's like, she's all right. She can be trusted. Is that part of the deal with your girls having the phone

is that they know that you can track them? I mean, they're not hiding from you at this age. And I'm not tracking because I don't trust her. I just don't trust anybody else. I don't know who needs to say that. I you can track them. I mean, they're not hiding from you at this age. And I'm not tracking because I don't trust her. I just don't trust anybody else.

I don't know how to say that. I don't trust a goddamn soul. It's everybody else out there. Well, there was that time August went to the party and I tagged her with an Apple ear tag on her jeans on a loop and then put it in the little coin pocket. And I was like, don't touch that. Leave it alone.

And was it beeping the whole time? No, it never beeped. Because she's got to have a phone with her. She's got to have a phone around her. Otherwise it wouldn't be beeping. Now, Bourne, can I read out the synopsis to the Black Mirror episode, Archangel? Oh.

Where in this episode, the mother enrolls her daughter in a trial of Archangel, an implanted technology which allows her to track Sarah's location, current vision and hearing, and automatically senses distressing material. We're not far away from that episode, Vaughn. I was just making sure she wasn't being abducted by a... Because if you're going to abduct, Halloween's the night to do it. Because everyone just thinks it's an act.

And you can be all dressed up and stuff. Yeah, right, okay. So that was all I was making sure. How long before she turns off? Because you know, fine friends, you can just flick the switch. It's right. So that was all I was making sure. How long before she turns off? Because you know, fine friends, you can just flick the switch. She daren't. She's going to go and disable her phone. She's on the firmly thing. I will re-enable

it and then disable all aspects of that phone apart from the tracking device. And then she'll be scooping up cow poop. It's not her I'm worried about. It's the other one. But did you literally spend the whole time she was away looking at flying friends? No, not the whole time.

Not the whole time. Not the whole time. Not the whole time. Didn't take my eyes off it. Didn't take your eyes off it. And then one time she was moving really fast. And I was like, abducted in a van.

She's running away from her. Abducted in a van. Yeah. But then there wasn't. It was her friend's mum had come and picked them up because it was raining. Huh.

So all was well. Which is a way better outcome than being abducted in a van. Yeah. Do they get any good candy? Dude, I've got to say, people really stepped up this year with the candy. Really? I was expecting you'd cost a living crisis.

We're going to be getting a lot of those, like, really trashy, individually wrapped, cheap nonsense. Yeah, nasty. Yeah, no, there was some good stuff. Some Reese's peanut butter. Holy. Some, like, marshmallow ropes. You've got to Reese's peanut butter. Holy. Some like marshmallow ropes. You got to go trick-or-treating in the affluent suburbs.

Get the good kids. Well, did you see there's a story in the Herald this morning of that street in Rimuera that like gets into it. They just hand out dollar notes. Thousands and thousands of children. Not a car could go down there. Thousands of children. Oh, because they're all trying to get the rich people's

Yeah, they're like, oh, we're the street that doesn't know. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the Day is the third in Friends Week after the sudden passing of Matthew Perry. Which, by the way, this song, the Friends theme song, had over 1.3 million streams. Since then or on the day of?

Since his death. And that was in an article I read yesterday. And the, Ron. Since his death. And that was in an article I read yesterday. The Rembrandts, thank you. It's very sad. Yeah, a friend, the Friends cast, made a joint statement yesterday. A joint statement, basically saying, we'll say something later.

I have the exact statement. Oh, please do it. We're also utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just castmates. We are a family. There is so much to say, but right now we're going to take a moment to gr Matthew. We were more than just castmates. We are a family. There is so much to say, but right now we're going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss.

And time will say more as and when we are able. For now, our thoughts and love are with Maddie's family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world. I saw Ross was out yesterday and he was wearing a mask.

Yeah. And do you think he wears a mask because he's worried about COVID or because he doesn't want to be recognised? He doesn't want to be recognised. Yeah, he just probably wants to be left alone. Especially at the moment, he wants to be left alone.

And was he wearing a mask before Sunday? Don't know. That's just a question I had. I think it would be to disguise his face. Maybe he was, but it would have been to disguise his face. Yeah. So people weren't constantly yelling,

Pivot! Which I'm imagining is one of the things they yell at him. Yeah. But it is Friends Fact of the Day week theme I've got to find a better way to say that. Anyway, I don't care enough. I thought we could talk about the money they make.

Okay. So it started out they were paid $25,000 per episode. That was the first $22,500 per episode for the first season.

By the end of it they were getting over $1 million each in episode. It was one of the most expensive TV shows to make and it was all

in the cast. Yeah. It was like they were using the same sets they'd always used. Very little of it was shot outside

the primary sets. But by that stage this was syndicated all over the world and you could tell it was going to be repeated forever and a day. It was just magic. So they were paid a million dollars per episode, but they also got, in the last few seasons, buy-in to syndication rights and the money they made off that.

So now each member of the Friends cast is approximately making $20 million a year on reruns. They were so smart with those negotiations and they did it as a team. They had negotiated together. And because they were nothing without all of them, were they? They were nothing without the cast. They wanted no one to be the lead, no one to be more

important. And then some of them were getting more famous, like Jennifer Aniston was going off and doing lots of other work. Actually, as was Matthew Perry. It was Matthew Perry working on another role that got Bruce Willis to appear on Friends. Yes. We talked about this briefly yesterday. They did a movie called The Whole Nine Yards together.

And he said, Matthew Perry said to Bruce Willis, if this movie opens number one, you come and do a stint on Friends. And Bruce Willis is like, do you know how hard it is to get a movie to open number one? It's impossible. Matthew Perry's like, I've got a good feeling about this. Open number one. So he came and did

his stint on Friends, Bruce Willis, who was a massive movie star at the time and it was quite the get and donated all of his appearance fee to charity.

Good man. Well done. Good man, Bruce Willis. He's not doing too well at the moment. He's not doing great. I could not find how much they paid Paul Rudd.

Oh, yeah. But Paul Rudd said he really tried because they were like, you're going to be married to Phoebe. He's like, well, that kind of makes me a pretty close to top tier character. I'm going to try to get on some of these residuals. Did he? They were just like, no, Paul Rudd. He's like, fair enough.

Yeah, good call. I pushed the mark. Sorry. Couldn't find how much Brad Pitt got paid to do it either. That was apparently well wrapped up and kept quiet, but it was because he was dating Jennifer Aniston at the time. Yeah. The guy that played Gunther for the first episode was paid $5,000.

His final appearance was paid $40,000 for the last lot of episode runs he did. Shoot, $5,000. Put in perspective of what, like what New Zealand TV stars get paid. Yeah. $5,000 for back then and for a small role is huge. A lot of money. Yeah. Lead actors on New Zealand TV shows wouldn't make $5,000 at Fortnite.

Or Chris Warner, you imagine, would be like $5,000 a week or something. So then, yeah, his last episode was $40,000. And Cole Sprouse, who played Ross's son. Yes. It was then Zack and Cody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweet Life of Zack and Cody. So he got paid $20,000 for his first episode.

And $20,000 for his last episode. So he got paid the same throughout. Oh, wow. He didn't do much. Nah, I guess he was just the cute kid, right? How much did the monkey get paid? No word on the monkey getting paid. Marcel didn't get paid. Marcel was also

a female monkey. I don't know if everybody knows that. Yes. I did not know that. Well, now you do. You do. Wow. Yeah. So, today's fact of the day is the members of the Friends cast make approximately $20 million

per year on the residuals from reruns. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Play ZM's Flet the impossible phone-in topic. A topic we think is so impossible, we won't get any calls. Or many. Yeah. But when we do, God, it's always so good.

Yeah. So I read an article yesterday about a woman. She's 32 years old. She's married. She has, I'm trying to train, $15,000 in a hidden bank account that her husband doesn't know about. So she was like, yeah, I've just got this safety money. It's just for me.

He doesn't need to know about it. All of our finances are combined. Except this. Except this. And she was like, look, I know that maybe I should come clean. And I just, I didn't grow up with money. And now that I have some, I just want to have this little bit that it's not

to go shopping, it's not like naughty money It's for safety. It's just like what if I needed to leave, what if she's not in danger by the way What if I needed to leave? What if I just needed some money? Because that's the first thing you think of right is that this person isn't banking

on their relationship lasting so Yeah. So they've got money set aside. They've got an exit plan. Yeah. She said when it came to combining all of their bank accounts, when that decision was made, she said impulsively, I just decided to omit one of my accounts. Not a lie,

not quite a truth. Yeah. And over time, I've stashed away some savings from working since I was young. And most of the money goes into the family, but I just keep a little bit to myself. So what about that moment where something happens? Maybe someone gets injured, they can't work, or for whatever reason, they're in dire straits, they need money. And then the wife or the husband says, oh, it's okay, I've got 20 grand here. Yeah.

How is that going to go down? I don't know. I know. Wild. Anyway, so reading this article further, 40% of those in couples have money their partners don't know about. Born? Nope.

There is no money to speak of. I spend money Aaron doesn't know about. It wouldn't be saved, it would just be spent. Do you think that's why people do it? Because they know their partners cannot be trusted or that they just spend? Maybe. Like we've got our separate accounts that are for

business and then all of our other stuff is all joint. Yep. But sometimes if there's a little coin rattling around in business it doesn't find its way to the joint. It finds But sometimes if there's a little coin rattling around in business, it doesn't find its way to the joint. It finds its way to mooching. Yeah.

It finds its way to little treaties. Yeah. I have actually heard you utter the words, I can just spend this before Aaron sees it. Yeah.

I'll just spend that from my business account. Yeah. Transfer now. So that's how our impossible phoner is... Personal drawings, taking a tax hit on that. That's what I always say. But there's some money in that one.

I'm like, that would be personal drawings, I'll take a tax hit on that. So add another 30% to whatever you're paying. You want me to take a tax hit, do you? Yeah. A big tax hit. We wanted to know, as our impossible phoner is, do you have a secret fund? Yes, that your partner, as our impossible phoner is, do you have a secret fund?

Yes, that your partner doesn't know about. And how much do you have? I mean, if you don't want to tell us that. You can tell us anonymously. Yeah, and you just, even to say you've got a secret fund stashed aside, you don't need to say how much. Or you can just say, it's big.

It's big. Or maybe you won lotto and you just decided to not tell your partner. Oh my God, Aaron told me once, because he's like, I wouldn't tell my family. I was like, I'd tell mine. Then he was like, I don't know if I'd tell you. I reckon I'd notice. He's got a fair point though.

He does have a fair point. When we talk about the first thing we'd do with that money, they are different things. Okay, 0800 dials at M for the impossible phone and topic. Give us a call now. You can text her as well. 9696. Do you have a secret fund of money and why? Well, the impossible phone and topic.

Do you have a big old secret fund that you are hiding? Now, this study was out of America, not New Zealand, but it said, what, 40% of people have a secret savings account that their partner doesn't know about. Now, whether that's just, you know, $100 or thousands, who knows? But do you have one? That is the question. And I tell you what, it is not impossible

because there are so many calls. Kate, do you have a secret account or did you? Yes, I do. And did. By the way, long-time listener, first-time caller. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel that coming.

Yay! Okay, so you just recently separated and you had a secret account. Yes, I didn't see this coming after 25 years of being together, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but things were getting a little bit interesting. But you kind of did because you had a secret account. You didn't say it coming, but you kind of did it because you had a secret account. Well, a friend basically said to me,

I suggest that you start squirrelling away some money. Oh, so you started squirrelling away when you sort of felt maybe this wasn't forever anymore. No, I thought it was still forever, but as I say, decisions on behalf of kids and things weren't making any sense and I thought, you should be backing me. Okay. Interesting. And then, so you squirreled some away. Was it a lot or just enough

that he didn't get his hands on it? $15,000. Wow! But then in the separation process, you have to be honest about your assets and stuff, right? You have to be honest about Jack's shine. I asked for bloody lately. Not after this.

As far as I'm concerned, it's just as all is doing. Okay, yeah, fair enough. Amazing. Who doesn't ask, don't ask, don't tell. Thank you for sharing. Caitlin, you have a secret account. Yes, I do. And your partner

has no idea about it. No and it will stay that way because my partner is very different to me. He doesn't believe in saving and if she knew about this account she'd be like

ooh let's go and spend that. I know you don't want to die with money in the bank. Is it enough for a nice holiday in Bali though together? Well I mean it would yes. You got a baby there as well. You've got a baby in a secret account.

There's not two things I had imagined. I don't know that the baby's secret. No, no, no, the baby's not secret. The baby's not secret. I do have, well, when we found out we were pregnant, I started up an account for our son, and originally I didn't tell him about it, but then I was like, well, I can tell

him about that one because I mean, I can just use the whole, well, that's your son's money so you can't touch it. And then he gets to Christmas and he's like, I've got amazing news, our son bought me a jet ski. Oh my god, what a generous guy. So kind. Caitlin, thank you.

I'm loving these calls and messages and the impossible phone-in topic today, do you. I'm loving these calls and messages. And the impossible phone-in topic today, do you have a secret bank account, like a stash of money, that your partner doesn't know about? A stat out of America, 40% of people do. Yeah. How do you get away with that? A friend of mine, an old friend of mine,

just keeps being like, yeah, man, I've got one. I'm like, wow, okay. Kat joins us. Kat, you've got a secret fund? Yeah, good morning. Can I just point out a theme? You had a Kate, a Caitlin and a Kat. Oh, my God.

Oh, it's the hard C sounds. It's spooky wookie. It's spooky wookie Wednesday. Oh, my gosh. Well, welcome. Spooky Wookie. It's Spooky Wookie Wednesday. Oh, my gosh. Well, welcome. I thought this was normal. I thought this was, like, when I was growing up, I was always told, you know, and, like, before I got married,

I was reminded, like, you know, women especially should have, like, their own fund for some sort of independence, especially if you're going to be a stay-at-home mum and not have an income come in for a while. You should have some money, like, in case you ever need to leave so you're not entirely dependent upon, you know, your partner. Yeah. I'll just take his money, though.

If anything bad happens. Yeah. Wow. And so does your partner know about yours, your secret fund? Well, no, he doesn't. He knows about one thing because I got an inheritance. Oh, yeah. So he knows that I squirreled that away,

but he doesn't know about other money that I've put in the food. Oh, wow. An inheritance. See, that could be a nice holiday to Bali for everybody, couldn't it? Holiday to Bali for you? You've got to. Do you want to just buy a flight to Bali, man?

You're right. You can go to Bali if you want. You're allowed. Thank you so much for sharing. Some messages in. So many. I've got $9,000 just in case money. We've got two kids.

Somebody said I've got a little over half a million dollars hidden away. Oh my God. Not lotto. Let's go to Bali, all of us. How do you, you would have had that before you met. There's no way I could skim half a million dollars. How are you skimming half a million dollars? And everyone would be like, I only earn $20,000 a year.

He's like, being the CEO of Wickels? Wickels? I don't know. It's where my head went. You went there. I have a secret savings account and investments as well. And when we were applying for our home loan, I had to come clean with it. And boy, was I in trouble.

That's just what I said to you before during the ad break. I was like, what about when people apply for mortgages and all your accounts come out? You have to be honest with the bank. So if you have a bank, say you've got a loan with ASB, but you've got a Westpac and an ANZ, ASB doesn't have any access to those accounts. But I thought they could see on a system

that you've got an account. I don't know how banks work. I just know they take your money. I have secret funds. I just know that they your money. I have secret funds across multiple bank accounts. All up, it'd probably be just over $25,000. My partner's a spender. Whenever he sees money, I'm a saver. I don't have access to two of these accounts unless I go into the bank.

Oh, wow. Because I don't want them to be on the internet banking because then he'll see that there's money. Yeah. But what happens when they finally close all the bank branches? Your money just disappears. They keep it. Oh.

You probably just go in and they just give it all to you in 50s. Yeah, okay. And then you've got a whole lot of cash. It's officially called a run fund.

I don't have one but I think people should have them. I've had two friends who've had partners leave without warning and the run fund kicks in. There was that,

do you ever watch that TV show? I think it got cancelled. It was Phoebe Waller-Bridge and it was called Run. Yeah. And her and her friend had this thing where if they text each other and said run, they'd just meet and run away together. I assume one of them did.

Yeah, they did. First episode or second episode? No, they did first episode. End of ep one, I reckon. Someone text run. Yeah. Yeah. Because you'd need that time to set up the dynamic.

Been married for 33 years and have an account for rainy days for $25,000. Husband would spend it on his bloody motorcycle if he knew it existed. Wow. So it's great to be able to help out the kids if they need it, because he'll never have any money for them. I reckon the husband's got a secret motorcycle fund, though, as well. Yeah, yeah. My best friend got an inheritance from his grandma of $300,000

that his girlfriend of four years has no idea about. I've got $46,000 saved in a just-in-case account. Wow, this is really, like, a lot more people than we thought, right? Yeah. I keep all our money a secret from my husband because he keeps forgetting his login details from the banking app, so he doesn't know how much money he's got at any given time. Easy.

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