ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st October 2024

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

Table pancake trend 48% Ditch their friends for a pet Top 6 things you'll hear at work today after DLS Lonely swan update Hayley loves wrestling Hayley leg injection SLP - Do you rewatch your IG stories back? Shannon's dumplings when did you get busted throwing a sickie? Hayley jackets Vaughan nearly lost his hand Fact of the day - Clouds weekHow quick was the marriage?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Wake up. It's Taylor Tuesday. And this is ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. That's us. Hello. Yes.

That's us. I'm the Hayley bit. That's Vaughan over there and that's Fletch about to say good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Taylor Tuesday. So from now, every time you hear a Taylor Swift song, you need to be

the first caller through. 0800 DALS at M. You go in the draw to get to the last show on the Airers Tour in Vancouver. Flights are thanks to United Airlines.

So be listening. A lot of songs on our show this morning alone. Yeah, I know. And then we pass it over. We've got no control. We'll sprinkle it in. Georgia, Bree and Clint. Brooklyn Nights, it's your chance today.

The second Taylor Tuesday of four. Exciting. Man, I can't wait to make that call. Are we going to call the winners? We will. We better. Surely us. We'll demand it. Are we going to call the winners? We will. We better. Surely us. We'll demand it.

Surely we'll call them out. I'm excited because they are going to lose their mind. Yeah, I know. People are going crazy for this. They're actually going cray-cray. We'll give you the first Taylor Swift song sometime before seven. Little clue. Little clue.

Vaughn's got no shoes on today. He put his muddy boots on You were like People were like Oh they're so muddy I took them outside To bang them off They weren't even

They had like Eight blades of grass And a little bit of residual mud It was quite a lot Yesterday you left a lot of muck Yeah I don't even know Where that mud came from

You wear some work boots In a Well I wear work boots to work Don't I You're the reason People like you Are the reason People have signs up

at like cafes and no muddy boots. No muddy boots. Take them off, leave them at the door. Oh, I'm sorry. Top six on the line. I'm not really sorry.

You're not, so you don't care at all. I don't need your apologies. $39,000 in three months. That's what one MP spent on travel. They get to claim back their travel,

but $39,000 in three months? That's ridiculous. Lord Honour, thine piss has been taken. Yeah. Although, you know, like regional flights are pretty expensive. That's probably like six flights. There was a picture of them in Hawaii. Oh, okay.

Well, I got the top six ways to spend $39,000 on flights in three months. Wouldn't that be nice? I'd love to make a dent in that. I'd love to have a go at it. Top six on the way next. Well, you know me. It's Hayley Sprouse Scandal Cow. Ooh.

Have you found some scandals? I've got a scandal in my hands here. A cookie scandal. Ooh, okay. I know. My favourite kind of scandal. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Hot little cookie scandal in my hands here from Hayley Sprouse Scandal Car.

And this is, I've never heard of this company, but apparently they're huge on the intranet. Okay. Which is the internal. Just the work internet. System, yeah. There's a cult US bakery called Crumble. Now, imagine the way they've made crumble cool, guys,

is they've dropped the E. It's always a vowel. Crumble. It's always a vowel that gets dropped. Crumb. Your tinder, your grinder, your crumble. cool, guys, is they've dropped the E. It's always a vowel. Crumble. It's always a vowel that gets dropped. Crumb. Your tinder, your grinder, your crumble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as they put in crumb into Google, it was like crumble cookies.

So crumble cookies are known for being these big, massive, fat cookies, you know, with like crazy flavours. Oh, wow. And they're like a viral sensation. They've got lines out the door for these things and they're like they've got a few chains around America. I'm going to be honest, not what I expected

when I'm on their website. I expected like kind of like a bakery kind of cookie. No, they do just look like massive in size, mass produced. Mass produced cookies. Cookies, very American. Whereas you know like there's that nice moustache. Yeah, that's what I was thinking in Auckland.

You follow moustache on social medias? Yeah. Good. They did a creme brulee cookie, right? And they build the cookie up and then they fill it with creme brulee and then they torch the top of it. I don't even know what to do with that information. Do you know what I mean?

I immediately just assumed digital diabetes. Yeah, the betas got you through the screen. So as of August 2024, there were 1,000 stores across the US. Yeah, and they're hugely popular, right? But obviously, and I think they've just branched into Canada. So Canada, US only, there's Crumble Cookies, Viral Sensation. Well done. So Sydney residents were excited when they had a pop-up, pop-up in Sydney selling these crumble cult cookies.

And they had lines, like huge lines snaking around the block for these cookies that were being sold for $17.50 a cookie. What? What? That is insane. That's a lot of money, even for a big cookie. Yeah. Just go to Mrs. Higgins.

And again, like a cookie that doesn't look like that great. Like the photos don't look that great. I think like moustache looks better. Anyway. There's So many places around New Zealand. Yeah, there's lots of like bougie high-end cookie places. Anyway, so $17.50

a cookie. They have this pop-up. All these people go. They flock there. North Bondi, babe. So it's really like, it's exciting. And then it was revealed by Crumble that they didn't endorse this. It's not an official Crumble pop-up.

So then everyone, all these people took to social media being like, well, how did I pay $17.50 for this stupid cookie that's not even from Crumble? And then everyone was like, it's a dupe, it's a dupe. They're just making cookies and they're trying to say that they're Crumble cookies

and I've paid $17.50 for somebody's home baking. Which they probably just went to the supermarket for, right? Yeah. Even worse, I think even worse, they actually, the people who did that, were like, no, we never really said we were officially endorsed by Crumble. And what they had done is they had had a trip over in America.

They had bought a bunch of cookies, packaged them up, brought them home, and they were like three weeks old. And then they started this pop-up to like help fans get a little taste of this thing. How do you get that many cookies back? You couldn't into Australia. Oh, no, because it is like.

I mean, it's a processed food, so they'd be a bit lighter on it. But if you turn up with a suitcase of cookies, surely the dogs are going to be like, I reckon, check them. Yeah. Or you, what, you just declare them and they're like, weird, weird you've got

a suitcase of cookies, but okay. They also made an Instagram handle called Crumble Oz, which eventually, now that this has all been revealed,

has been like, canned. This was like, do you remember in Australia as well, that guy made the fake ramen like store? Yeah, the fake ramen thing with, you know remember in Australia as well, that guy made the fake ramen store?

Yeah, the fake ramen thing with you know, instant ramen. Yeah, and he was just using instant ramen and people were like, oh my god this is amazing. Oh, that was a bit different though. That was a social experiment on how people buy into TikTok trends and stuff. Fads. Same thing though, like people are seeing these cookies on TikTok

right and losing their mind. Yeah. But these people were straight up pretending to be another country. Do you know, dollar for dollar, if we're talking cookies, dollar for dollar, you can't go past Pam's finest decadent dark chocolate chunk cookies. Oh, my God. I know. I've had them.

They're so good. These dogs. In the black and white box? Really? Dude. Really? Dude. Like, really?

For a chocolate chip cookie. Okay. So they just got them because they're the cheapest ones. Yeah., no. Dude. Dude. Like, for a chocolate chip cookie. Okay. So they just got them because they're the cheapest ones. Yeah. Pams. But they slap. Weird that she'll get the cheapest cookies, but not the cheapest, like, she'll get an anine bing.

Well, that's how you afford an anine bing. Oh, right. You cut costs on everything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would rather spend money on decadent cookies and never have a $400 hoodie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a ridiculous amount of money. For a hoodie that comes looking worn,

that's stupid money. Wait, you're saying you would rather go decadent cookie over a Neen Bing? I love a cookie. I love a cookie over a cake. I love a cookie over a slice. Oh, God, I'm not even sure where I stand on that. Right.

A cookie, like how good's a good cookie? And so inadvertently you found a great cookie by going cheap. Like just, they are called decadent. And I said, we'll see about that, Pams. And Pam was not lying in this situation. They weren't just throwing that out willy-nilly. No, no, no, no, no, no. They've used the word decadent exactly as one should

use the word decadent. Interesting. And what about like a little 10 seconds in the microwave? Oh, you've got to. What are you doing? You're unlocking.

You'll never go back if you do that. I'm actually, I haven't microwaved. Okay, well you should, maybe you should try. I mean, because it might. But no, but I'm wondering,

well then what? Well it might go from decadent to like super dec. But then what? Everything will be pale in comparison. I worry about finding the perfect anything because then nothing will ever compare. I think this too.

You never want to have the absolute best because then you're always going to be longing. Yeah. Everything in life should be an eight to nine. Yeah. It's like, you know, if the option to sleep with the world's hottest woman presented itself, would I take it?

I mean, I'm married, of course not. Emily Ratajkowski's there being like, Vaughn, Vaughn, Vaughn. I don't know, man. You're the female equivalent of microwaving a Pam's decadent chocolate. I simply can't. I don't know if I can eat it. What will I do after that?

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah This is the top six Damn it We're too busy talking about cookies Do you know what I hate Is when we talk about food And then you realise it's not here

Or that you realise it's 18 minutes past six And you're talking about cookies Yeah Or delicious food. What time does that supermarket down the road open? That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Could do a quick run.

If I was an MP, I'd spend $39,000 on cookies. Because I love them. Yeah. Cookies and treats. I love when these lists come out. It blows my mind that it's almost like this is a surprise to MPs every time they... Yeah. Their public...

Their costs are publicly printed. Te Patsi Maori co-leader Debbie Nariwa-Packer. I love her. She's good fun. She's good fun. She's got a sense of humour. Well, she spent more than $39,000 on flights in over three months. And is refusing to say why.

Debbie's in first class. April, between April and June. April, May, June. Jeez. Yeah, okay. Because, you know, sometimes the MPs that live, like, in the bottom of the, I don't know, on the West Coast or the bottom of nowhere, have to spend a lot on flights because they're more expensive. She is.

She does live. Where does she live? I thought up north. Right. Yeah, same. Well, those flights are better premium. MPs might have to last minute bookings. Oh, yeah, of course. But she did go to Hawaii for some kind of forum

or some kind of thing. But even then, how? Oh, no, so she's an Aki girl. Yeah, yeah. But even then, how? Oh, no, so she's a nacky girl. Oh, right. Yeah. I've got... Are you okay? Have you got cookies stuck?

Oh, no. No, there's no cookies. But the burp got stuck halfway up. Do you need to come here? I need a quickie. Do you want me to burp you? I need a quickie. Go burp him.

I'm going to go with my father. Oh, jeez. Anyone got cookies? Check the glove box. No, she spent $39,000 on flights, refuses to say why. I love that. I love that. I don't have to tell you.

Yeah. It's actually none of your damn business. But it is because you're an MP and this is taxpayer money. This is our money. She posted from Hawaii on World Ocean Day, up for a surf before our next kaupapa from Hawaii on World Ocean Day, up for a surf before our next kaupapa, reflecting on World Ocean Day. But she was first.

The second highest spender was Willie Jackson, Labour MP. He went to, he represented New Zealand at, is it Oxford Debates? Oh, okay. So he had a big ride. He had a big long haul. Yeah, okay. You know, UK flight.

So, but she's just like, nah. He had a big, right, he had a big long haul, you know, UK flight. So, but she's just like, nah. So I'm just like, okay, well, here's how I would spend $39,000 on flights in three months. Number six, tell your partner it's a work trip, but it's not a work trip, an upgrade to business. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You work things on Tuesday. Yeah. I'm going Saturday. Yeah,, yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. You work things on Tuesday. Yeah.

I'm going Saturday. Yeah, go Saturday. Yeah, go Saturday. Go Saturday. There's lovely restaurants where I'm going. Yeah, and then you're going on a weekend, so the price is going to be a bit more, but that's just life, you know. I've got to go for this work thing.

Oh, bloody work. Bloody work. I wish I could be home. I'm going on business. I wish I could be home. Yeah. I can't. It's work.

What do you want me to do? Say no? Lose my job? And the only. I'm going on business. I wish I could be home. Yeah. I can't. It's work. What do you want me to do? Say no? Lose my job? And the only thing that's left is business. Because it's so last minute. I've got to. I've got to.

You know what works? Could you go on another day? I could try Friday. I could try for the Friday. No, nothing. No planes. No planes. I don't fly there on a Friday.

And of course Sunday, it's all shut. Yeah. Because it's Sunday. It's got to be safety. It's got to be safety. Oh well. Number five on the list of the top six ways to spend $39,000 in three months on flights.

Get one of those cheap flights with no extras. And then just pay for all the extras when you get to the airport. Well, that's so much more expensive. I know. Yeah. They get you. That's probably how you get $39,000 on flights in three months. Yeah.

No, I don't need anything. I don't need a bag. I don't even need a seat. I'll just crouch. I actually need three bags. Actually, I don't need anything. I don't need a bag. I don't even need a seat. I'll just crouch. I actually need three bags. I'm going to need three bags and two seats. Do you know what? We actually have it pretty good in New Zealand

considering Europe and America. Sometimes Europe and America, the bag is another double the airfare price. Yeah, ours are all right, eh? Yeah. I'm the pain in the neck. No. I'll just hold it.

That's why people have like 18 kgs of carry on Yeah And they're wearing nine jackets And ram it in Ram it in Number four

on the list of the top six ways to spend $39,000 in three months on flights Hire a plane and just fly yourself around Yeah for $39,000 Yeah

Yeah maybe That'll get the number up Did you see in the South Island this is just talking about flying yourself Did you see that helicopter that hit the power lines? No It's one of my recurring nightmares

Is that I'm forced to fly a helicopter on a flight Straight into power lines It's one of those big plastic things The bubbles on the power lines I don't know how it happened What happened to your reoccurring dream about the elevator? Or that and the flying a helicopter and hitting power lines. Okay.

Or like being in a plane and I'm flying for some reason and I'm in the clouds. And I'm like, surely the plane's going to take care of that. And I come out of the clouds and bang, straight into a cliff. That sucks. Yeah. Wow. But yet I'm not scared of flying and I love being in a helicopter. Yeah.

But one of my reoccurring nightmares, it's almost like in the dream I'm like, I'm going to hit power lines. Yeah. But one of my reoccurring nightmares, it's almost like in the dream, I'm like, I'm going to have, shit, I'm going to have power lines. Yep. That's just, that's just going to happen. Life's going too well.

Hit some power lines. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to spend $39,000 in three months on flights. Every time you fly, buy the whole row

so you can stretch out. Oh, lie down. Oh, yeah. Yeah, lie down. Yeah, kind of like economy business class. Yeah, make your own business class back there.

Whole row. Number two on the list of the top six ways to spend $39,000 in Yeah, lie down. Yeah, kind of like economy business class. Yeah, make your own business class back there. Whole row. Number two on the list of the top six ways to spend $39,000 in three months on flights. Offer to fill up the plane if they stop at the gas station. But I'll top it up. Happy to chip in for gas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they pull into wherever planes. That'd be a massive forecourt.

And then you'd probably park on the wrong side of the pump so you have to back the plane out and go because you get that little tug to push you out back onto the other side of the pump even though the sign

says hoses long enough to reach each side yeah turn it to like Boeing yeah exactly you've got to go under the plane it's a whole thing

and number one on the list of the top six ways to spend $39,000 in three months on flights smoke on board right pay the top six ways to spend $39,000 in three months on flights, smoke on board. Right. Pay the fine. Just light up a durry.

No, that's not encouraged. Yeah. Unless we see receipts. That's maybe how she was doing it. Having a smoke. Maybe getting disgruntled as well and getting sort of carried away. Pay the fine and get another flight.

Absolutely could do. That is today's top six. Play. ZM. Fletchvorn and Hayley. There is an avid Friends fan who has gone to great lengths to work out the average sexual partners that each character on Friends, of the six, have had over the 10 years or the 10 seasons.

The way they did it was like confirmed sleeping with, as in they hard like mention that they slept with them or, you know, it's like alluded to. That's one point. And then half a point if they just dated them and we assume that they slept together. Yep. They made an Excel spreadsheet.

Lovely. They made a graph of how the numbers went up over the 10 seasons. Now that green line, which is skyrocketing, now that's Joey. That would have been my pick. That would have been my pick. He was kind of the player on the show, like the single guy, right? And then we've got some flatliners over season six till ten. That's the ones that sort of got all loved up and whatnot.

Yeah. It's so good. And then on the thread, they named them all. Like they had gone through every single episode and named them. Even so Chandler, for example, who has, we'll start at the bottom. Chandler has, Chandler's got the least with 10... We'll start at the bottom. Chandler has... Chandler's got the least with 10.5 sexual partners over the 10 seasons.

How do you get a.5? If he was dating someone but it was not confirmed. It was alluded that they'd slept together, but maybe not. And then they name them all. So it's like Janice, Aurora, Nina Bookbinder, and then it's girl who thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia. Like they've gone through and like broken down the names. And of course the last one being Monica.

And then the next person, the next step up in sexual partners is Ross. 14 sexual partners over the 10 seasons. Carol being the first. Confirmed. Rachel's in there in the third. And then Lady Who Cleaned His Dorm in College. Ross mentions it himself.

Yeah. Whitney hums while he pees ex-wife. Hurt Ross's back a little bit. Like they've broken it down completely. Man, people have too much time, eh? I know. Like who has the time to do this? You.

I know. Yeah, you do. I'm the only person in this room with time. I don't have the time. Time to do this. I don't have the time to do this. Okay, so Chandler's got the least, then Ross. Next, with the next amount,

Monica with 14.5 sexual partners. Okay. Paul the wine guy, Kevin Millmore, pool table guy, Fun Bobby, and Chandler not being the last. Who is Stuart?

Season 7 to 11, her cousin's now husband. I don't know. Right. not being the last. Who is Stuart? Season 7 to 11, her cousin's now husband. I don't know. Right. Monica's 14.5. Rachel, 15.5. We've got Guy whose cat didn't like Rachel. We've got Stevie Fisher's dad. Ross is in there, of course.

I love that Stuart was Monica's ex-boyfriend, but they only talked about it after she was with Chandler. Oh, yeah, so they're doing it in order of when it was mentioned. Yeah, right, okay. 15.5. Okay, then with the next is Phoebe, 32.5 sexual partners. A bit of a lead there, Phoebe.

There's Carl, there's Jason Hurley, there's Milwaukee guy, there's David the Science guy, Puppet guy, Nukalulu Nakawa. She would keep the dinner receipt for that. Guy who dumped her because she fell asleep during Spinal Tap. I love the names that your friends give the people you hook up with. The flatmate of that guy who you saw and you're like, oh, yeah, that's right. Let's not talk about him. Pablo Diaz, Guy in a Van, Jethro Tull, the musician who plays the flute.

Yep. Apparently Phoebe plays the flute. Yep. Apparently Phoebe's sleep with him. Right. And of course, with the most sexual partners, with a number of 51.5 over the 10 seasons, is Joey. We've got Lorraine, Melanie, Laurie, Erica. And then on that it says, we assume the hand licking led to something else.

Right, okay. Stripper, Annie Esposito, Annie Esposito's sister, Catherine, Donna, Ginger, Stripper, girl with whom Joey had sex a couple of days ago, woman who's really good in bed, woman who's really good in bed's roommate. It's so fun. Wow, and someone's broken all of that down.

Yeah, they've gone in with this spreadsheet and graphs and everything. So, shout out to Joey. Well done on your 51.5 sexual partners. Yes. Silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Today's silly little pole. It says waiting for this message might take a while. Yeah, I've never seen that on Messenger before. Me neither, that's weird, eh? So research out of America has found that a lot of young adults are not looking for

a relationship. They say they have more important priorities, enjoyment of being single are the top reasons. A quarter say they are looking for a committed romantic relationship. The rest say they just want casual dates and live life. Yeah... Live life.

Yeah, live life. Love, laugh. Live, love, and laugh. More than 60% in America, more than 60% of young men are single. That's nearly twice the rate of unattached young women. That's not good. Got a lot of lesbians on our hands here.

Or a lot of lesbians. We know this for a fact. Or there are a lot of lesbians, yes. Yeah. Well, we asked, would you be happy being single for life? 31% of people said yes. And you know what that means? 69%. Nice.

Nice. I know when I saw the results last night, it was at 69. I was like, I hope it stays at 69. I hope it stays there. Which, because it would be nice. Nice. So. Some feedback.

Some feedback on it. Moe girl. Yeah. That's all we know. We don't know her name. We just know she loves a Moe in moderation. Obviously born. Moet.

I assume she's voted yes, she would be happy to be single. Because she said, because I chose the wrong person, I don't seem to be able to choose the right person. Oh. Okay. So she'd rather be single. Because she said, because I chose the wrong person, I don't seem to be able to choose the right person. Oh. Oh. Okay. So she'd rather be single. Okay.

Then continue this marriage to the Moe. Wrong people. Married to the Moe. Wow. Finn said, yes, I'm happy to be single for the rest of my life.

I've got enough cats to keep me company. He's a cat lady. Love it. He is. CN says, it's nice to share things with someone. Single is fine and absolutely doable, but the longer that goes,

the more likely you are to be a little bit lonely. Yeah. Unless you don't like sharing. Yeah. Yeah. You're greedy. People just annoy you. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It can be annoying. Surely all the single people voted no and all the married people voted yes on this, says Kate. I don't know, Kate. We can't break it down by those stats, unfortunately. Because a lot of married people get divorced, don't they? So perhaps not everybody. I actually said there'd be quite a few married people

that'd be like, yes, actually being single would be nice. Yep, I'd be happy to be single, says Tash. I don't want kids and I'm really independent so I don't really feel like I need a partner. I wouldn't say no if it happened and it felt right, but I'm definitely not going out searching. I'm not on the dating apps, et cetera, et cetera. I like cuddles too much, said Phoebe.

Cuddles are nice. You can get cuddles for hire, though. Yeah, because Fletch gets lots of cuddles. Yeah, Fletch gets plenty of cuddles. Lots of cuddles. My cat cuddled me up this morning. Oh, yeah. But again, I know that he's using me because he's cold.

Yeah, he's cold and he wants to be fed. Yeah. Those are the only things. Yeah, like I know deep down he's using me, but it's still nice. Yeah. Yeah. I like that feeling too, just being used and abused. It feels good.

It does sometimes. That's why the chair's in the corner of the hotel room. Yeah, that's what it's there for. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, it's school holidays at the moment. Day two today. Good luck to all involved. How's it going for you at your house?

It was good, actually. Yesterday, the girls just spent most of the day making candles. I saw that. Excited for the new scents. Yeah. Not spawned, by the way. I just saw them spawn. Yeah, there's a sand yeah, there's a,

there's a sandalwood and something one that's. Why is there, you've got to be careful taking on a coir. Don't want a coir coming for them.

A candle mafia. Yeah, the candle mafia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wake up with a horse head in your bed. I was trying to think of the candle equivalent, but then I just decided

to go with the classic. Yeah. Godfather horse head in the bed situation. It's the kind of thing, I think I could see August cutting off a horse's head and putting it in your bed. Jesus.

Okay. I don't think she'd have the strength. She wouldn't have the stomach to go through with it. No, no, yeah. No, in fact, just, I don't know if she could. But yesterday I saw lots of kids with their grandparents. Oh, yep.

Yeah, like I went to Mitre 10, as I said before, and there was just so many grandparents there with their kids. I guess the grandparents are just like, let's get out of the house. Yeah, babysitting. Yeah. And a great day out for a grandparent and me. Just going to Mitre 10 and wandering around for a bit.

So fun. Get a sausage. Would you look at that? But families are not shy about saying, and the news was at the airport because of some new routes opening up instead of talking to families. And they were like, yeah, we just got our kids out of school early to go on holidays because if we wait for school,

it's going to cost that some money. Yeah. This on the same week that it's been announced that David Seymour has said parents who allow their children to take more than 15 days off in a single term could possibly face prosecution by the Ministry of Education. During sixth form and seventh form. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When I was 16, 17, I was marching and doing the tattoos. I used to take six weeks off school.

Well, your parents would be prosecuted. Jesus. And your parents were paying for private school. Yeah. If I was paying for private school, my kids would be there every day, hook or crook. But I think that they were like, you're off doing something kind of extraordinary. And then why not? And then I would do, I would sit internal exams early and I'd get them done early.

And then I'd come back. I was fine. And you're doing a sport. Well, sport in quotation marks. Yeah. They refused to give me a sports badge. It was crazy. Marching.

Yeah. Sport-ish. Yeah, sport-ish. Sport adjacent. But if you're taking your kids travelling, that's great experience. Yes, totally. I mean, I know it's a holiday, but like all the airlines, you know when you see airfare specials and then you read the paragraph

of the blackout dates are always school holidays. Yeah, totally. Teachers that want holidays during school holidays, families, they know it's so much more expensive and they end up not going. Well, that's what they did, kind of the maths on it. One woman going to Rarotonga

said she would pay $500 more if she'd waited until school holidays started. Another family said their kids were skipping out on two days of school. $2,000 in airfare saved. Someone said we're leaving early and also coming back a day after school starts. So we've

saved $1,400 by just pushing it out a couple of days each way. Good stuff. Crazy, eh? Let's fake a couple of sick days. David Seymour will never know. He'll never know. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Here, usually, if this was a segment,

you'd throw to some nifty jingle, some sort of nifty little song or intro, but she hasn't earned it yet. So we're just going raw Shannon's hacks. Shannon? Yes. Shannon? Yes. Now, I really want to give you this intro, but we said you won't get it until you get five stars.

Yeah. Is today the day? I think it could be. I think I'm going to say time's running out on this segment. Time is running out. You have given us so many terrible hacks. And I will say that just willy-nilly, Vaughn's chucked in a couple of five stars as of late.

What was your five-star hack the other day? The tortilla one? Yeah, oh, that was great. Revitalising a stale tortilla, which apparently I've... Someone's been in touch, you can do it with sourdough as well. That's mad. Yeah. Which was you run it under the water, right?

You run it and then you fry it. If it goes stale, you know how they go rubbery and a bit hard. Run it under the tap and then fry it in a pan and it revitalises it. See, good hack. Saving money. You know, saving food wastage. Thematically, Shannon, where is this hack sitting? So today it's to help you with an awkward situation.

Okay, I hate awkward situations. And this could help you, Hayley, specifically. Oh, okay. Is it going to help us with this very situation we're in right now when this is like a two out of five? Hang on. Give her a chance. This could be a five.

And me specifically, I'm interested. Yeah, so there's nothing more awkward than when you're home alone and a tradie shows up and you're just kind of coexisting with a stranger. This actually happened to me the other week. I had a plumber at my house. A plumber? Oh, yeah. And it is a bit awkward,

especially when it's just the two of you. Because you don't want to look, especially for us who work early, you don't want to look lazy by just sitting there watching TV. I do sometimes. I just close the door. You go about your stuff.

Yeah, you kind of just want to act busy but not too busy. So I've got a hack for you. Okay. If you look up on YouTube fake Zoom meeting, hundreds of videos pop up. And they're all about 45 minutes long and they've got different themes. There's people who work in marketing.

There's corporate meetings. And you just say to the trader, you'll be like, hey, I'm sorry, I've just muted myself. I've got to be in a Zoom meeting, but you do what you got to do. Head to your room, chuck that on full. But wait! If you're going to your room. Yes.

You don't need to be on a Zoom. You can just be in your room. But it's awkward because I would not want to be alone. But you can just say, I've got a Zoom meeting, I'll be in my room. And then you can just go in and watch anything. That's literally what I said to the plumber the other day as I was doing work on my computer. I didn't have to pretend.

I just feel so awkward. Look at these fake Zooms. They're so funny. So you just made that full screen. Yeah, and then you could put in headphones and watch something. It just kind of fills that awkward state of like, we're both here. There's one wall between us.

I want to watch Netflix. This might kind of be good if you were trying to get out of talking to an annoying flatmate. Can we hear the sound of this fake zone? Yeah, I've just got to jump on the, is that the cord, the auxiliary cord? That one. We've got two and we really don't need.

Is that it? Yeah. In art and our culture for a long time i love that i remember the first time i saw lizzo and i was early on just this is the first one i clicked i wonder if we could go new zealand accent yeah i was going to say because that's yeah i found a district council from new zealand okay great but why would you be on a district council Zoom, Shannon? The plumber doesn't know my business. Actually, the plumber doesn't know your business.

Yeah, you're right. That's right. The plumber doesn't. The plumber could believe that I'm in the district council for South Island. Can you put me back up? I've got finance and corporate committee. We'll start with the apologies. And I guess we have Hazel.

Everyone else seems to be here, I think. Oh, it's Hayley, not Hazel. But that's all right. Hi, guys. Hi, everyone. Andrew, just before you do. Who's left that on? I have to leave the meeting at 1.30 to attend a future proof meeting

so sorry about that. Oh Jim, we'll miss you. We'll miss you Jim. Good to call, thanks Jim. You can pick, there's hundreds of videos but yeah, it just fills that awkward state of having one more between you.

I do like this. Okay, do you know what? I actually like this hack. I actually like this quite a lot. I like this hack. Do you know what you, yeah. Three out of five? It's a three for me. It's a three for me as well. It's actually a three. I know Vaughan doesn't believe in it

because he thinks you don't need it. But it does sort of fill an awkwardness. Yeah, and because if they come in and interrupt you as well, I've had that once. I was in my room and they're like, can we chat? Also a great way of getting out of talking to your workmates as well

they're not just chatting to you there's nothing to do they need to ask you about something if they come and they're like you're the plumber

why are you asking me you don't know three out of five Shannon I also feel like this could be good for like safety if you're like in an Uber or something

a guy's not gonna be a creepy Uber driver and like ask you weird questions if you're on a council Zoom it's 3am and I've got blurry eyes.

That would explain the American accents though because different time zones. Very busy. I'd love to chat but I've got to jump on the Zoom. Okay Vaughn what are you giving it? I'll give it a 3 out of 5. Yeah!

She's done well. That's really good. It's not quite a five, but it's a three. I'll take it over the chicken with a phone strapped to its head. Yeah, that was your worst one ever. Now, look, I don't have to tell you guys, when it comes to makeup, you know the rule, right? You either go eyes or you go lips

I had no idea about that rule You know this I had no idea about that rule No, you're not going to do a bold black smoky eye And a bold lip You know this I didn't know that I didn't know that

Yes you do No I don't Come on, I don't have to tell you guys If you're going for a nice deep red bold bright lip You're going to pull back on the eyes, aren't you? Maybe just go a soft brown I had no idea about these rules You guys know these things red, bold, bright lip, you're going to pull back on the eyes, aren't you? Maybe just go a soft brown. I had no idea about these.

You guys know these things. This is why I always look like a hooker. That's why you always look like a cheap hooker. Because I'm always like, eyes and lips. And tits. You've got tits and legs. You've got to go one. No, I've got both. I've got it all, baby.

Well, it's the same theory with makeup. In general, this is always what we've known. If you're going to go heavy, heavy, heavy, both. I got it all, baby. Well, it's the same theory with makeup. In general, this is always what we've known. If you were going to go heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy on the eyes, like big black smoky eyes and all this, you'd pull back and go more for nude, neutral lip. In general, that's been the role. Who teaches you these things? The world.

The world. Society. Fashion. Well, TikTok now. Paris. TikTok. Who taught you before social media videos? I don't know because my introduction to makeup was being a goth. Yeah, right. So I went heavy, hard and then emo. You had lots of makeup on and then what I realised is that I actually am extraordinarily,

stunningly beautiful without all that. So I actually pulled back quite a lot. I wasn't laughing. I was agreeing. That was me agreeing. It didn't sound like it. It sounded like you were laughing. One of those typical. It sounded a bit, I was agreeing, that was me agreeing. It didn't sound like it, it sounded like you were laughing. One of those typical

it sounded a bit like that. No, sorry, I actually have a little stuffy at the moment. Oh, allergy season. It's allergy season,

so I was just a little, yeah. It's all those bloody pine trees that are in central Auckland. Sorry, I won't get offended then. Yeah. Let's go.

You're fine. Yeah. Anyway, there's a new makeup trend that sort of follows this rule, but it goes even harder, and it's bold lip, so let's say we're gonna go like blood red, like dark, deep

blood red lip nothing on the eye, and I'm talking not a drop, not a mascara Have you got any examples? Because don't show me beautiful people doing it Like, I've only got beautifuls This is bullshit then because they can do

whatever they want. They can literally take a crap off their face and it'll all look good. Yeah, well, I wouldn't go that far. But this is my conundrum.

I was like, yeah, sure for you. One of the women, her name's Veronica Paffick. Corningstone? No, not Corningstone. Okay.

She does it and she has extraordinarily, she's brunette, she's got bright blue eyes, really beautiful. Oh, see the eyes, she's got. Wait, so what's she doing?

She's doing, because I can see the lipstick there, she's gone for a really, so she's got. Really dark, but see she's got nothing on the eyes. Nothing on the eyes. Not even a mascara.

But she's got amazing eyes. Yeah, she does have amazing eyes. Not everyone's going to pull that off. That's what Irish women look like. Do you know what she does? Yeah. She does look a little bit Irish. But she,

so she does like foundation and everything, but just nothing on the eye whatsoever. But she's done the rest of the face. Yeah, I know. She's done the rest of the face. There's no mascara, nothing. Nothing. Or she's done a little curl.

That's it. And then she's going to do a bold lip. No mascara. Dude, you said she did nothing. She's been at this for hours. And I mean nothing on the eye. Because usually if you're going to pull back on the eye, you'd still do a nude, light brown and a mascara.

What era is that? She looks like, is it, it's the 80s. I don't know. But when I don't wear anything on the eyes, I've only got mascara on today, nothing else. Because I was just, as I mentioned earlier, was just displaying the natural beauty of which I've possessed since I was born. But if I don't wear mascara, I look like

I've been crying or I look like I'm tired or upset or just like a rinsed little rat towel, like a towel toweled rat. You notice that yourself but I think if you didn't wear mascara tomorrow we wouldn't think. No, you wouldn't. Wouldn't notice. No. Because you just see me as one

of the lads. You know what I mean? You guys just see me as one of the lads. You know what I mean? You guys just see me as one of the boys. Lads, lads, lads. Lads, lads, lads. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. In fact, instead of Laugh Out Loud, it should be Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Lads, lads, lads.

Lads, lads, lads. Yeah. But this is apparently a trend. Lots of people are doing it. Nothing. It's a no from you. It is a hard no. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley.

I'm going to read about a New Zealand native species that's nowhere else in the world apart from here. I get a little excited. Do you? Yeah, I get a real, like, little bit of a feeling. Is it a pride thing? Yeah. Or kind of like a, you don't have one of these.

Nah, it's not a nyan, nyan, nyan, nyan. Right. Man, that's neat. Yeah. That sort of vibe. It is neat. The tuatata is the one we briefly want to touch on. Is that a dinosaur?

Yes. Correct. It's the last of its... We've got a dinosaur. Exactly. How great's that? It's extinct. They're extinct.

Extinct all over the world. It's the sole survivor of the ancient reptile order Spindosia. I think. I don't know. Okay. Which, yeah, walked the earth with the dinosaurs 225 million years ago. That's so cool. And we've got one.

They're so little. Imagine how many got stomped by big dinosaurs. Oh, my God. They're like that big. They're like not that big. They're not like iguanas. No. This one said that this guy, Henry, that we want to talk about now,

130-year-old Atuatata with two girlfriends. Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. They reckon at the age of 35, he was half a metre long. Shoot. It. Mummy. Mummy. They reckon at the age of 35 he was half a metre long. Shoot.

That's a biggie. That's bigger than I thought. Yeah, right. I always pictured them. It's like a little over. Certainly no longer than a 30 centimetre ruler. Yeah. But my dude, my dude down there, Henry, 130 years old is his estimate.

130 to 150. So we've been talking about this, like 130, two girlfriends. I know you think you'd be a bit tired to manage that. They do, they live for a, you know, they're not human aged. Oh, right. Just saying, he's one of those like,

you know, those grandparents in the rest homes that have like two girls. Tearing through the Ryman. Tearing through a Ryman. Yeah. Collecting the notches in his bedpost. Summer set sex times. You know what I'm saying?

Grandad's out there. He's got the nicest dahlias. So all the old girls are coming around for a pervert as dahlias. And he's like, I'll show you. That's when Shannon was like. I'll show you my tuba. Now that's a very specific gardening joke. It's good.

It was good. Yeah, for the dahlia. People who know about dahlias, they're a tuba. Yeah. So we were talking about this horny tuatara. Uh-huh. And that's when Shannon said. Well, because we called him a tuber. Yeah. So we were talking about this horny tuatara. Uh-huh. And that's when Shannon said, Well, because we called him a grandpa.

We're like, yeah, not bad for an old dude. Tearing through the rhyming. And you said this happened with your grandparents. Yeah, both of, I've had six grandmothers in my life. So both grandfather three times over. And they remarried. Both of your grandfathers had three wives. Yeah.

So how late in life did they, were they in a home? Yeah, so one of them, and it went back and forth a few times as he was getting ready to pass. He kept saying like, oh, flip-flopping. There was a bit of drama. Someone got uninvited from the funeral over a breakup. Oh my God. What a heartbreaker.

It was intense, yeah. Was he a bit of a stud? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was a stud. Yeah, nice, nice, nice, nice. Yeah, he was a poet and there was like some poetry. Oh man. So that's how he got. A bit of a stud? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was a stud. Yeah, nice, nice, nice, nice. Yeah, he was a poet and there was like some poetry. Oh, man.

So that's how he got. Bit of a Shakespeare. That's how he got them. A bard. Yeah. With the words. With the words. Wow.

A boy's heard about all the women both my grandparents got with. Mike, because one of my dear friends runs a, not a retirement village, like a home, a rest home. Okay. Runs a rest home. And she's like, oh, my God, the Antacs. They're up to it. They be heading to pound town all the time.

Okay, wow. Yeah, these play little grandparents. Well, you do hear that. You're, you know, you're not working. You're not going to get pregnant. Nah. You're on a cushy number from the government, getting a little cash money.

Hell yeah. Every week. They get chlamydia and stuff. Kids have moved out of home. Grandkids are maybe coming to visit, but they'll let you know. They're not just going to drop by unannounced. They're Gen Zs and millennials.

We just do not turn up. Well, I love these stories. I think we need to take some calls on, how do we word this? Do you have like a player grandparent? Yes. Love that. Is your grandparent a player?

Is your grandparent a player? Because maybe they're not in a home, but they're out. They've just got like women or men coming in. Grandparents, like my grandparents were even like post-World War II. The game's changed. Grandparents,

you think of like, your mum's a grandparent. Yeah, she is. Yours isn't, Hayley, despite her constant wishes to be. Despite to be. Yeah. I'm willing to loan her my children

if they cut me in on a bit of that Sproul money. Yeah. You want the Italian villa, don't you? I want the Italian villa. I want the Italian villa. You can have the apartment,

not the villa. Come on, back up. I got the grandkids. I got the grandkids. Get out of here But it's changed They're not like the stuff The old grandparents

That you know You saw in movies And TV shows growing up Like grandparents They're funky grandparents Do you reckon By the time we retire There'll be like

Gay and lesbian Retirement villages They probably already are Those will be Absolutely wild Oh my god The gays The gays

Imagine all of our friends In the gaggle in a retirement village. That's where I want to end up. That'd be a great reality TV show. It'd be a great TV show. Bingo's going to go off on a Friday night. You bring that bar cart back around here. You'd call it The Village People. The reality show.

Oh my God, it's writing itself. The Village People. Yeah, you would. Yeah, that's good. Okay, we want to take your calls. 0800 DALSATM, text through 9696. Do you have or know of a player grandparent? Maybe they're the talk of the church, you know?

Maybe they've had a few boyfriends or girlfriends. You got a hot pop. At the home. A hot pop. Firstly, we got onto this because there's an old Tuatata with two girlfriends. Somebody messaged in Saying I know you're talking about

Like horny grandparents But when we were kids We went to that enclosure And you used to be able To hold that Tuatata And he was huge Oh really Yeah because he's half a metre

Well that's why he's got Two girlfriends He's a big boy He's a big boy And now there's no touching No touching No touching No no we can't be touching

Our dinosaurs Okay Someone said I can tell you Stat statistically the highest infection rate of, what is the correct thing to say? Sexually transmitted infections? Yeah. Not diseases. It's not diseases anymore.

You don't say dirty, eh? No. You don't say dirty. No, you don't say, are you clean? You don't say clean. Are you clean? Are you clean? You don't say that, no.

Because that implies that you're dirty. It's good that you're educating yourself. I think it's really good as a man who will never date again. Yeah, even if I am ever single, I'm not doing that shit again. We're never seeing you outside your property. No. I'll go bush. I'll find that guy that's missing with his kids and be like,

cool, I'll just stay with you guys. You've got it going on. The highest STI infection rate is with the elderly. Is it? Yeah. Just YOLO, you know? Yeah. YOLO?

After my granddad passed, my nana, who was in the early stages of dementia, her main concern was that men would find out granddad was passed, she would single and follow her around wolf-whistling like they used to. Oh. We see.

That's good. You keep doing that. My mother just got married a year ago for the sixth time. Oh, wow. Now, if you started dating someone, she's 80, by the way, if you started dating someone in their 70s and they said,

oh, I've been married five times previous, if all the partners had died, I'd say statistically she's murdered at least one. Yeah, for sure. If she's been through five marriages, I'm not marrying her. She must be terrible to be married to. Yes, yeah, yeah. You'd be like, where did she hang out?

It's not her fault if the others keep dying. No, well, she's pushing them down the stairs or up to it in the corner of the rug for sure. Do you reckon she's getting some sweet inheritance? She's wearing them down. Yeah, now we're talking. She's got a bit of money. She's doing it. So actually, I am back on the marriage bus.

She's a black widow. Yeah. Yeah. My granddad was notorious for flirting with the new entrance at his rest home. New entrance? He'd get bored after a few weeks. We'd ask him how it's going, and he said he was waiting for some more fresh meat. Oh, my granddad.

Granddad. Granddad. My grandma had two men on the go at once at her rest time. They were in separate areas of the home so they never knew about each other and she'd just toddle between. Oh my god, like having a secret family

in another town but it's just another wing. Just popping over to Wing B. It's just a couple of hundred metres away, so it's too far. It's pretty much another town. But what if they all run into each other at dinner? The social area, there's always like a bar or a lounge get-together. Oh, my gosh. She's playing fast and loose with the men here.

I love this. Wild. I really hope this is how I am when I'm old though. Why not? Go out with a bang? My mum's an aged care nurse and she'd just walk into the rooms in the morning, knock and open the door and 100% they'd just be in bed with each other

and just spend the night and then nothing consistent. Go next day and be the same woman in a different man's bed. But they're single beds most of the time in rest times. You're thinking of like rest home, rest home, like not retirement village. Hospice care, those sorts of areas. Right, are they double beds in other areas?

They can be whatever you want, I think. Because I was like, God, if I'm old, ain't no way there's a man in my bed. No way. I was like, give me some space. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Off you go, Charles. I'm done with you now.

I've been having a private grumble with Fletch and Vaughan about some of the gym etiquette that has entered the women's gym at my gym. Yep. It's a smaller area. We were just talking about this because there's a big main area and I don't usually work out down there. I work in the smaller women's gym. There's less staff, there's less people and it's fine.

But there's only one of everything. You only come into the main gym when there's like a rugby league team. When there's hot ooses. If there's some hot people down there. Otherwise you hide away in the woman's hide away okay yeah and i had messaged you guys about there was a big group of young here it comes here i'm just saying here comes karen younger than me karen's here big group of young women who uh were gathered in a sort of flock, shall I say,

around the leg press machine one day. And I was nearly done, and that was the last thing I had to do. And they were just – Is that the one where you sit down and recline and push it uphill? Push your legs. I like that one because you're sitting. Yeah, I like it too. Feels easy because you sat down.

And it's the one you can stack the most weight on, right? You 100%. Yeah. I've got like 100 kgs on this thing. I would never be able to put that on my back. Anyway, I didn't want to bring that up, but I guess I just dribbled that information up. Did you just drop a weight in there? I did.

Wow. Is that a PB? We're heading towards a PB. We're getting there. Did you hit some Musashi protein powder? Bruh. Did I what? I just dry ate that. Bruh. Bruh.

I don't have time for a shake. You don't want the calories in the water? Bruh. Bruh. Bruh. Anyway. So this group of people were there and it was like seven of them. Yeah.

And one of them. That's a gaggle. And they were all, it's not a gaggle. We use the word gaggle and it's a delightful thing. I think a flock. Group of homosexuals. I not a gaggle. We use the word gaggle and it's a delightful thing. I think a flock. Group of homosexuals. I think a flock.

A flock. A flock of young women and they were just, one of them was sat in the machine and the rest of them were just around and they were gossiping for 15 minutes. Yeah. And I needed this machine. And I was texting you guys being like, oh, I just want to leave the gym.

I just want to leave. I just want to go, but I need to do this. So I was. It was way more aggressive than that., but I need to do this. So I was- It was way more aggressive than that. It was. Yeah, it was. The messaging was way more aggressive than that. You tried to do it, but cutesy.

I'm filtering. I just want to leave. I'm filtering. Oh, yeah, filtering on the fly. Yeah. So then I was, speaking of lockdown, I was sort of circling an eagle of sorts, like trying to make my presence known that I was waiting.

And then eventually they kind of got the message because I was like, hey, are you using that? Because I need to use it. That's how they got the message. That's how they got the message. And then they flitted away. And then the other day, one of them was on a video call, just sitting on another machine that I needed to use,

just having a little FaceTime. And then I was watching and I was like, again, about to pounce. And then they eventually, before I was going to go and say something, got off the FaceTime. Right. And did four quick leg extensions and left.

I could have used it in that time. I could have used it in that time. Yeah. Anyway, so that was fine. And I was like, wow, there's really a new era of people here. And then yesterday I got there and there was, again, the flock of young people. How are these, what is this, are they students, do you think? Are they university students? Oh, no, yeah, they look like 19, again, the flock of young people. What are these?

Are they students, do you think? Are they university students? Oh, no, yeah, they look like 19, 20 years old. Okay, right. Yeah, young, beautiful. Are they doing a group workout? No, but they also come at the same time and hang out and gossip, but then they do their individual things, but they just take forever because they're talking the whole time.

Their rest time is, I'll say, 80% of their workout. Right. And then yesterday I noticed that one of them was using the machine, the leg press machine, which, again, you can stack quite a bit of weight on. So she stacks it up. She does like six. Yeah. Little measly presses.

And then just walks away from the machine. And now you know that's bad gym edica. You've got to displace. You've got to re-rack your weights. You've got to re-rack your plates. Yeah. And then I just had this moment in me that I was like, I should actually take the charge here.

I think I should go and say something. I should be like, hey, darling. What are you doing? Hey, darling. It appears I see you're new around here. I've been here for a while. Just a little bit of Jumita Kit. Just at the end of your workout, you might want to take the plates off.

You know, when we're finished talking here, you should listen to the replay of this conversation. And then imagine listening to a woman, you know, knocking on the door at 40, saying it. Knocking? Knocking on the door at 40. On the door at 40. I'm in my early 30s, thank you. Oh, wow, no, you're definitely mid to late.

I'm not mid to late. I'm 35 in a week. Knock, knock, knock on the door at 40. Yeah, wow. I didn't say it, by the way. I didn't go up to her and say it. Oh, you didn't? No. But do you reckon the girls at the gym are like, God, that old girl. Yeah, man, that old old 40s jail. I didn't say it, by the way. I didn't go up to her and say it. Oh, you didn't?

No. But do you reckon the girls at the gym are like, God, that old girl looks good. Yeah, man, that old girl's a bitch. Look. That probably on there. No, they're looking at me being like, holy moly. That probably on there.

All girls podcast right now, because they don't do radio, because they're 20, 19, 20. They're doing an all girls podcast. They're like, okay, so we're at the gym. We're at the gym, and we're just having a little catch up. We're hanging out. We're resting. And this we're just having a little catch up. We're hanging out. We're resting. And this old saggy lady.

Play ZM's Flesh, Fun and Hayley. Victoria Beckham and David Beckham's son, Brooklyn, got married to Nicole Beckham. Yep. And there is currently a discussion online that people are like, she looks just like Victoria Beckham. When did they get married? Like just recently?

Oh, right, okay. Last year? Yeah. Last year? And there was all this like, Victoria doesn't like her. And then Victoria was like, no, I love her. And they're great friends and they hang out and stuff. But Victoria Beckham, it's Fashion Week.

She had her show and there was all these photos of the whole family together. And Nicole's wearing this, like, Victoria Beckham shirt. And Victoria Beckham's obviously wearing a Victoria Beckham shirt. And they've got a pointy face. And everyone's like, they've got a pointy face! Well, chiselled. Oh, yeah. Chiselled.

Not pointy. You know women with pointy faces, they all look the same to me. Yeah. But everyone was like, oh my god, his wife looks so much like his mom. But this is Cruz Beckham. The other Beckham. What? That's who I thought they were talking about.

No, they're talking about, this is Cruz Beckham with his Brazilian girlfriend. Oh, I've got it totally wrong. You've got it totally wrong. Oh my god, look at me, I'm off skew with it. Now you've got my attention. Did you say Brazilian? Yes, a Brazilian singer-songwriter and everyone's like, okay. Oh my God, look at me. I'm off skew with it. Now you've got my attention. Did you say Brazilian? Yes, a Brazilian singer-songwriter. And everyone's like, okay.

Oh, no, that sounds unbearable. She looks like. The minute you're a singer-songwriter. Wait, wait. Shakita, I'm on board. Okay, when I was reading this. People would describe themselves as a singer-songwriter just because they're hot. Yeah. If you as a singer-songwriter Just because they're hot Yeah

If you're a singer-songwriter, that's fine But if your prominent feature is You're drop-dead gorgeous And you are really going to force me to listen to your sub-par singing Because That's where you think you're talking about I got my beckons confused So this Brazilian girl is 29

Cruise will be 20 in February Yeah And everyone is like okay she looks like It looks like you're dating a young version Of your mum But then people also said that about the other I mean they're just What the boys are doing is hot thin women

Hot thin majority white women But there's a type though isn't there The Beckham boys have a type And it's a Victoria Beckham, essentially. Now, this may be a little yuck. This may make people feel uncomfortable. We want to know if you were dating someone who looks like your parents. Or like has similarities.

Because you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, totally. If you're going through a little. I know girls that like married guys that like have similar traits to their dads Oh yeah totally Aaron couldn't be further away from my I was going to say my lovely little father

He's like an inch shorter than me But you know I definitely have never dated anyone remotely like my father And your wife born is pretty much a spitting image of your mother Yeah my white Irish Catholic mother. Yeah. Quarter Chinese.

She's definitely quarter Chinese. My mum's DNA results from Ancestry.com and Shadows, if you put them up, it's the same person. Yeah, it's the same. My mum, of course, Nepalese. Nepalese, Indian.

Indian, yeah. Yeah, Portuguese. Yeah. And then you also are nothing like your wife's father. Nope. Thanks. No. Portuguese. Yeah. And then you also are nothing like your wife's father. Nope. Thanks. No, you are not.

She has married so far away. A small Asian singing gentleman. Yeah. So far away from her parents. But people do. Oh, we've all married far away from our parents. Yeah. People do though.

And you sit and you're like, oh, you have married your father. Yeah. Are you like Aaron's mum? Not at all, nah. Your partner's mum? Tall and just got it together. Yeah, right. You know?

Yeah. Knows everything, does everything right. No, I'm describing me and her and our similarities. But no, she is a kind, patient Catholic woman. And you're not. I am. Not many of those things. You're a rude, impatient heathen.

Yes, exactly. Okay, well, not great examples here, but maybe people have said this to you or you just realise after you've met the family. I'm marrying my father. Yeah. Also, someone is calling for the title of Hayley Sproul Scandal Cow to be temporarily revoked given she mixed up her Beckhams.

I got my scandals wrong. That's absolutely. The Beckhams are the building blocks of every good scandal. But I didn't introduce this as part of my scandals. I'm not Hayley Sproul Scandal Cow right now. I'm just telling a story and I got it wrong. Well, we want you to give us a call. 0800-DARZATM. 0800 DARS at M.

You can text through 9696. Are you dating someone that is exactly like your parents? Maybe it's by looks or maybe it's complete like personality. Well, maybe you just

don't want to admit it. Maybe you're just realising this now and you're like, ooh, yeah. We want to know if you are dating someone that is exactly

like your parents. Maybe it's by looks or personality type. Because everyone's calling out Cruz Beckham and his new girlfriend and saying that she just looks like Vicky B. She kind of does. Hot, thin, brown hair. Yeah, that's pretty much where it ends. Hot, thin, brown hair.

I could be describing Hayley Sprout. You know what I mean? There's a myriad of us around the world. Nikki, are you dating someone that's like your dad? Oh, 100%. Hey, long time listener. Oh, my God. Where's the bell?

Where's the bell? Yay. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the show. So how is he like your dad, Nikki? Oh, well, look, he's handsome. My dad was handsome, right? But the thing, the thing that gets me,

when I was younger, my dad used to grind my ears. You know, eating his food, he used to breathe out his nose like a dragon. Like, chewing, chewing, and the nostril flare, and all this noise, and I hated it.

Well, guess what? Aaron does the same thing. You've got an Aaron too. You've got an Aaron as well. My Aaron does the same thing. Must be an Aaron thing. Aaron, yeah. Yeah.

Every time, I'm just like, I look up and my face is filled and he's like, what? And I'm like, well, you know what?

What? What? Feels like Nikki just needs a vent today. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome. Yeah, no, no, no. I've thought this for a long time.

It's hilarious. But, you know, I love him dearly. I love my dad dearly. But, yeah, the whole breathing, eating, breathing, noise thing, nothing. Yeah, are there any other, like, similarities? Do they look similar? They do look similar.

Yeah, I catch myself all the time. My dad died when I was 27, and it was a while. And it's just odd, because sometimes I just look at him, and it is like I'm looking at my dad, and it's sort of, yeah, clearly that's why I'm with him. He's kind,

he's gorgeous, but he breathes through his nose. There it is again. That woman. They can't leave it at that. He's kind, he's gorgeous. Oh. But he breathes through his nose. There it is again. There it is again. They can't leave it at that. He's crying. He's gorgeous. Oh, damn.

Does he breathe out of his nose when he's eating? Nikki, thank you for sharing. Some messages in. I'm dating my dad. Not literally. White boy, blue eyes. Lots of starts, lots of projects. A lot of those projects go unfinished.

Loves a freebie from the side of the road. All right. A freebie from the side of the road. I feel like Vaughn also loves a freebie from the side of the road. I love a freebie from the side of the road, but I get it home, I'm told to get rid of it. Oh, yeah. Take that back to where you found it. We don't need that lying around.

My dad and my husband have the same name. Lots more woman messaging in about their partners being like their dad than vice versa. My partner is exactly like my dad. They don't look a lot alike but they're very similar personality wise. I rung to say I was coming down to visit once and dad said oh is he coming? And I said nah it's just me and dad said oh that's a bit disappointing.

My wife recently dyed her hair the exact same colour as my mother. It was a shocking discovery when they were in the same room together for the first time. Yeah. I don't like hats. I love someone just texting, the expectation on men is unreal. Don't breathe while you eat.

Mate. I hear you. I hear that those expectations must be horrible. I won't list owls, but I hear that. We hear you. No breathing while you're eating. My husband's a mash-up of my dad and my two older brothers in personalities, hobbies, and looks.

Oh, wow. I walk up behind my mum and my fiancé one day, and I looked up. I could not tell one from the other. Oh, no! I'm out. That's when you're like, yeah, I'm out. Oh, my God.

I'm so indignant. I'm aesthetically like my mother-in-law, but I've got better boobs and she's a psychopath. That's so good. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Right now, time for... Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. It's cloud week.

Yeah. Here at Fact of the Day. If you see a neat cloud today, take a photo of it and send it to me. Grow up. Tell me what you think it looks like. I was just trying to get a bit of interaction

with the listeners. But back and forth. If you want to deal with a thousand cloud photos, then go for it. That's cool. I will. And I'll forward them on to One News and claim that I took all of the photos. Oh yes, so they're on the weather. Wow.

He's really dominating that weather, those weather pics. Well, today I want to tell you about pyrocumulus. You know, cumulus? They're the fluffy ones, eh? No, they are clouds made by fire. Oh, like houses on fire?

Probably not big enough. Okay. Is this a flammagenitus? That's. Another name, flammagenitus cloud, also known as a pyrocumulus. Yeah, pyrocumulus. Flammagenitus. Pyrocumulominibus is another one.

Okay. So clouds, there's a few ways clouds are formed. One of them is at Earth's level, it gets hot and heat goes up. And when it goes up, it drags moisture with it. It gets up there, turns into cloud. Yep. Now, when wildfires or volcanoes are erupting, such an intense heat is released.

It forms a rapid formation of clouds known as pyrocumulus. And enough water vapor is available. So you think about, you know, you'll see more likely in the tropics where it's humid, the volcanoes erupt, and above them there's a massive storm cloud and lightning. Yes. Well, that is because that is a pyrocumulonimus, because it drags enough water vapor up.

It causes a cloud really quick. Yeah. And it's got all that energy in it, and then boom, she's the thunder. And that's why you'll often see thunderstorms over volcanoes. Because of the difference in temperatures. Because of the hyper temperature of it just like shooting it straight up. Wow. And once you're shooting it straight up.

Fascinating. And they're called pyrocumulus. That's cool. And that's why. They're so like textured. Yeah. The pyrocumulus. That's cool. And that's why- They're so like textured. Yeah. The pyrocumulus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because the heat's shooting it up real quick and wildfires as well. But obviously your average wildfire is happening in a very dry, arid climate. Yeah, so there wouldn't normally be moisture, right? Yeah, not enough moisture. But there are situations where a wildfire can happen in the humidity.

If it was by the coast? Yeah. And there was ocean, would it- Yeah, okay. If they have the heat? Yeah, not enough moisture, but there are situations where a wildfire can happen. If it was by the coast? Yeah. And there was ocean? Yeah, okay. If it had the heat? Yeah, because I guess if the heat goes up, it would drag the ocean humidity over it. Huh. It would put itself out eventually.

Clouds are crazy. Not the kind of clouds you want to be near enough to see. Nah. I see photos of them. In any situation. And you can send your photos to me because I love clouds. This is a problem with doing a week streak in fact of the day. Yeah.

I have these like week long hyper fixations on things. Yeah. Like yesterday when I was mowing the lawns and I was looking at the clouds and I was like, I wonder what one you are. Yeah. What formed you? How long are you going to be around? Tomorrow?

No, I'm not even going to tease it because people will Google it and find their own answers. Okay. Okay. And then it won't be as much fun. He gets into it, doesn't he? He gets into it. He's passionate about his facts of the day.

So today's fact of the day are there are clouds made by fire and extreme heat. And they've got a cool name. It's pyrocumulus. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Tell me more about you wearing flares. I would pay excellent money to see Fletch wearing flares.

Because he's got good calves too. So I just want them to kick out at the bottom of it. Kick out. Tight on the quad, tight on the knee, tight on the calf. Tight around the tush. And then just a kick out on the bottom. Yeah. Come on. Do the one of favour and get yourself a pair of flares.

Do you know what we should do to force this is next year for the quiz, get dressed up, make it like 70s themed, have nice tight tushies and flares. We digress. There is a dating app. Now, Vaughan wants to know if it's got a good twist. That's the thing. If you're going to have a new dating app these days, it's got to have a twist or a unique feature.

M. Night Shyamalan peak career twist. Oh, darling, no, it's not. It's not that. We need a sixth sense. What? Like everybody on the app is dead. Dead all along. And you only find out at the end.

Yep. Okay. So you talk to someone and at the end they're like, oh my God, I'd love to meet. But I died in 1987. Right. What? I've been talking to you this whole time.

I mean, that would be a great twist for a dating app. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you'd be like, how have I been talking to you this whole time. I mean, that would be a great twist for a dating app. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you'd be like, how have I been talking to you this whole time? And they're like, babe, you're dead. Is it something to do with AI? Because a lot of like AI stuff is creeping in.

Like it's doing all the selection for you. No, it's nothing to do with AI. Is that my idea for a dating app that I've just come up with now called Hater? It's like got no E. Yeah, yeah. Like all the good dating apps. H-A-T-R. H-A-T-R. And you bond

over things you mutually hate. Great idea. Shut your mouth. Sell it. That's a great idea. Yeah. Hater. On your profile you don't put any of your good points. No, just things that drive you up the wall. Celery. Celery. And of course like racism.

It's weird that celery was above racism. It goes celery, racism, homophobia, sexism, you know, poverty, all those things. Hard to open soul sachets. Celery. Celery number one. Those tiny little sachets that you can't. Neat.

No, this is called after. This and the whole point of after is to try to address ghosting. Right. So you go on and you match with people like your normal hingey tindy bums. Yep. And then you chat. And then if after a while one of you stops

responding, they'll go like that and they'll nudge you. The app? The app will nudge you and then if you don't respond in order for you to start matching with other people you have to give a reason as to why you don't want to do it. And then there's like a little drop down list of reasons like no chemistry or day ugly. They love celery and racism.

They're a racist, celery-eating homophobe. And then you have to put that in order to carry on. And it makes you more accountable for like just turning off people. Do you get to find out why someone ghosted you then? No. Oh, see, that would be good. No, you need to. That would be horrible.

You need to know your work ons. Oh my god, but what if they're like, she ain't funny and she's like an ugly dog and you'd be like, ew, that's awful. That's on the drop down menu, that's on them. I was going to say, no one would say that on a dating app, but they would. Yeah. So, yeah, it's basically trying to prohibit people just

going like, ugh, and moving on to the next thing. And then collecting like 20 people in their inbox that they're messaging but not messaging and ghosting. Yeah. Because I think I was reading the other day Hinge or one of the dating apps was making it so if you weren't responding to enough people it would block

you or kind of just put you on hold for messaging so that you couldn't just leave a heap of matches hanging. Yes, yes, yes. That's the one hate that, or the, you know. The pet peeve people get from dating apps. Yeah.

Hey, so after do, they don't go, like say I was messaging someone, they won't message me and be like, he didn't think you were attractive. Yep. They curate a kind message and send it to me and remind me that it isn't a representation of who I am or my worth.

It is actually just, it's just not a good match. So they do send you a little message to be like, hey, don't, just let go of that guy. That's still going to hurt, isn't it? Especially if you thought they were really hot. I know. You're just going to be like, oh. Oh my God, I've met my husband.

But then I guess it's better than being ghosted, but is it? Yeah. You know, you just said that the closest I've ever come to using a dating app was putting my picture on hotornot.com in 2000. Oh my God, I is it? Yeah. You know, you just said that the closest I've ever come to using a dating app was putting my picture on hotornot.com in 2000. Oh my god, I remember Hot or Not. Love it! Love it that I was in the sevens.

Now I'll take seven in the sevens. You were in the sevens. Low sevens. Low sevens. Just moved into the sevens. Just hopping on hotornot.com. Your connection is not private. Tell that to my boss. Advanced. I'd take a seven any day of the week. If someone was like, you're a 718, on horonaut.com your connection is not private tell that to my boss advanced proceed I'd take a 7

any day of the week because I was like you're a 7 out of 10 I'd be like and to you ma'am thank you very kindly but in the day I was like

I'm sorry and I looked like a piece of shit category pornography they're calling it but that's how Facebook started right

like crazy like Zuckerberg being like a yeah you were ranking like the students yeah at uni rich coming from you Zucks I mean you've got abs now but he's looking better now Zuckerberg being like a Yeah, you were ranking like the students Yeah At uni Rich coming from you, Zucks

I mean, you've got abs now, but He's looking better now Yeah Yeah Because of his MMA fighting Is that what he's doing? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

Okay, what about this for a dating app idea? Okay, go I don't know what I'd call it Maybe like SFX for like sound effects Okay, yeah, nice You don't have any photos on your dating profile. You just have 10 seconds to record audio. Yeah, that's like phone dating back in the day.

Yeah. Remember when phone dating and you'd ring up and there was always those like, call this number and talk to singles in your area. And that was literally like recordings. And if you liked it, you'd be like, save two, fast forward three.

Cassandra, looking forward to meeting you. We know this because when we were kids, we found a phone card. Oh my God, phone cards. And we went to a public thing and we were like,

how much is on it? Put it in. We did that. We had $3.40 or something on there. Oh wow. Someone dropped that. And so we were like, it's time to call

the number we've always wanted to call. Oh, 800 hot singles. Oh wow, okay. And you had to record a it's time to call the number we've always wanted to call. Oh, 800 hot singles. Oh, wow. Okay. And you had to record a message and then we got to listen to like two and then we ran out of credit. Oh.

Okay, if you had, let's say, three sound effects, you're only allowed to do three sound effects, this is going to describe you as a person. Yep. What are you putting on there? Record scratch. Yeah, that's right. Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.

What about... That'd be great. Oh, that's good. I'd probably do a cat. Yeah. Meow. Maybe some nice, relaxing... Oh, some ASMR?

Or just the sound of like waves at night time. Or just me eating chips. You'd have to chuck that. You should have to... Okay, okay. I'm expanding on your idea. Okay, okay. It just me eating chips. You'd have to chuck it. You should have to. Okay, okay. I'm expanding on your idea. Okay, okay. It's like a criteria.

You know the most annoying sounds people make? Like, okay, now record 10 seconds of you eating. Oh, yes. And then you judge if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life. I could not live with that. Record you sneezing. You did, yeah.

But some people are like, I've got some blue egg. These are genius ideas. I couldn't know! But some people are like, I've got some blue hair! These are genius ideas. I couldn't be married to that going forward. Exactly, you wouldn't want to get it on. That's cute. Another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag.

Are they back? No, no, still banned. They never left. That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that. Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell all of your friends.

God, I need some sleep. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.