ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st September 2023

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

Driver or Drivers License?   Silly Little Poll!   Top 6: Things that are already Things   Burrito Hole   Final Rankings: Fry Styles   Jojo!   Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fleshpawn and Hayley in an Eros tour movie. Does Taylor Swift need any more money? You can never have enough. You can never have enough. No.

I think you can. Yeah, I mean, wow. To me, once it gets to a billion, I'm just like, ah. Oh, yeah, totally. Get a grip. More tickets today. You're going to be listening at 8 o'clock for that Taylor Swift song, Midday and Four.

Be the first caller through this afternoon with PJ and Maddie to win that pass. You're on the road, Hayley. You've been hit up for tickets. Oh, my God. I arrived in Tauranga yesterday and checked in and the girl was like, look at me. And I was like, okay, well maybe

she recognises me because I'm mega famous. And then as I checked in, I was like, Hayley, surprise. She's like, I know. Can I get some Taylor Swift tickets? I was like, no, babe. Well, like, you just had some in your purse or something. Yeah, sure. here you go.

Here you go. Fletch is the only one that works for the show with the Taylor Swift tickets. He's in charge of the Taylor Swift tickets. Yeah, I've got them all in my purse. If you ever see Fletch in public, by all means, hit him up for Taylor Swift tickets. He has the physical tickets. He's in charge of our show allocation. And I've even got some spares as well.

You've got spares? Yeah, so many. Okay, this weekend if you see Fletch, that's what you've got to do. I'm open to bribery. Okay. Cash monies. In what form? You want cash monies or cakes?

Yeah, right, cash monies. Lamingtons. Guys, I wish you guys were here because honestly, the sunset. Sunrise? Oh, sorry, sunrise. Hon, it's the morning, darling. Wait, where am I? What about the moon? The super moon? Oh, my God, it was, it's the morning, darling. Wait, where am I? What about the moon?

The super moon. Oh, my God, it was so super. I don't have a moon. I don't have a moon, but I've got a beautiful sunrise over the ocean in Tauranga. When it came up last night. Yeah, she's a beauty. I kept waking up through the night thinking the security light was on,

but it was just the beaming moon. The beaming moon. Maybe she gets some better curtains. Yeah. Oh, my God, do I? We have to solve, because we got rid of our bedhead. Oh, yeah. So she gets some better curtains. Yeah. Oh, my God. I do have to solve. Because we got rid of our bed head. Oh, yeah.

So we don't have a bed head. Why don't you have a bed head? Too much banging. Too much banging. Yeah, man. There's a bloody head on the wall. There's a bloody head on the wall. Yeah.

Lads, lads, lads. Lads. Had to replace the bloody gym. Am I right? Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. Bloody holes in the wall.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Keep the neighborhood awake. I'm guessing it was more that it wasn't aesthetically pleasing. It was, no, and we just upgraded the size of our bed. We just didn't get a bedhead. Right. So, yeah, our head's a little closer under the high window. Oh, okay, right.

So I catch the light sneaking under that curtain. A bedhead should take care of it. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, right. Gorgeous. Okay, coming up on the show, the top six. There's a new trend.

This is the dumbest. This is, I read this and I was just angry. It's called silent walking. Which is just going for a walk. It's silent. Without headphones. But it's not silent. It's just walking.

It's walking. This is what my mum calls walking. I guess it's that so many people walk now with headphones that it's a treat to walk without them. Oh, my God. Well, the top six will delve into this and other trends. Yeah, top six names for things that are just things. Like silent walking is just going for a walk.

Next on the show, though. Yesterday, we had an ad for the electoral commission. Electoral? Electoral. Too many syllables in that every election. I was encouraging people to vote. Enroll to vote. Enroll to vote and all you needed was your driver's license.

Hmm. Which one's right? Driver's or driver license? Some grammar. Some England next on the show. Yesterday Drivers or driver licence Some grammar Some England next on the show Yesterday when we were doing our radio programme We play ads Because ads pay the bills, bitch Don't say that No, don't That's quite aggressive

That's, yeah, sorry Yeah They pay the bills Coming in a bit hot there, babe Baby They pay the bills, baby It was an ad for enrolling to vote for the upcoming election. Yeah, and it said all you needed to do was ID your driver licence.

And I was like, we were all a bit like, that doesn't sound right. Yeah, I was like, he's misread that. It should be driver's licence. Driver's licence. You need your driver's licence. Yeah. Yeah, because it's the licence of the driver. Yeah, it is the driver's licence.

Possessive. But is that specific? But then when you are referring to a specific driver, you can do the possessive license, but when it's a sweeping possession, it

doesn't need the possessive apostrophe S. No, but we still all own them. You know what I mean? Collectively, it's the driver's license. Let me get out of my man purse. My driver's license. Oh, it's zip not Velcro. Zip not Velcro. We don't do Velcro anymore.

This is crafty. Because we're not at high school. It says on the top, look, New Zealand driver license. Right. No, they're missing an S. They're missing an S and an apostrophe. What about the song? I got my driver license. You'd be like, Olivia, Olivia.

It's my driver's license. Can you Google like a Californian driver's license? American. It says drivers or, oh no, so it always says this is drivers versus drivers, but one's possessive and one's not, which is correct. And it's like drivers possessive is always the correct spelling to indicate official identification.

Well, let's check Olivia Rodrigo's song, how she spells it. Olivia, who I'm loving at the moment, by the way. No, she spells it with no, she just rams an S on the end with no apostrophe. Oh, no possessive apostrophe. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It simply must have a possessive apostrophe.

But I'm arguing whether it's driver or driver's licence. I just lost a little bit of respect for Olivia Rodrigo. It should be drivers, shouldn't it?

Should drivers possesses? Yeah, driver's possesses. I've wondered why my Ohio licence is called a driver licence. It's very awkward to say it like that. Doesn't everybody else

just say driver's licence? This is a question on a language, English language and usage page. Well, yeah, that's it. We've found a California. It just says California driver license. Yeah, they all seem to.

I don't like this. It should say drivers. I'm upset by this, actually, quite deeply. I don't even care if it's got an apostrophe or not. I just want an S on it. No, I need the apostrophe, the possessive apostrophe. Seeing it written,

driver is just describing what kind of licence it is, not whose licence it is. Other examples would be a bartender licence. Bartender's licence. Not bartender's licence. If you were just to describe the type of licence. Now, on your licence, it is just saying this is a driver licence. I've got my pen licence, not my pen's licence. Okay, here you go.

I will present you now a UK driving licence. Driving licence. They've got driving. See, I almost like that better. I like that better too. Yeah, it's a licence to drive, baby. Do you think it's stopped this very argument that we're having? I reckon the UK couldn't figure it out, so they just went,

oh, okay, we'll just say driving licence. Yeah, it does. It says driving. I got my driving licence last week. That works, right? Yeah, she can do that in the UK. That works. Silly Little Pole is next on the show.

And today, the big issue, do you use the toilet brush at work? Or are you just like, it's work. It doesn't matter. T, who doesn't? Every other woman in our building. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole,

silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Do you use the toilet brush at work or are you? Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Today's Silly Little Pole. Do you use the toilet brush at work? Or are you disgusting? Are you a monster? Are you a monster? Because everybody does it at home, right?

Without fail, right? It's your home. You'd think. Yeah, I've lived with some guys that would beg to do it. But when it comes to work, for some reason, and even, and I'm going to say it, I think females are the worst, judging from what you and the other females in the building talk about. I can confirm.

Women are the pets. Like, in our bathroom, I think. I've been saying that for years. Just in general. But you go into our bathroom and there's four stalls, three standard ones and one accessible, and sometimes you'll go in and be like, ugh! Go to another one and be like, ugh, God! To find the one that you don't have to then take

responsibility for. Not my splats. Not my splats. Because all the toilets have a brush, right? All of them. It's so bad when you go to a place and there's no toilet brush. I know. Like hotels. That'd be silly. Hotels hate toilet brushes. How many times have you wrapped a hole in a toilet paper

around your hand, flushed, and before it refilled got your hand in and given that, like, the best... Like, I can't leave this for the cleaners.

I just can't. I simply will not leave this for them. My name's on the booking. I can't. Yeah. So we ask you, when you're at work for Silly Little Pole today,

do you use the toilet brush or are you like, it doesn't matter, I'm at work? Oh my God. As guys, I don't know if for Silly Little Pole today, do you use the toilet brush or are you like, it doesn't matter, I'm at work? Oh my god. As guys, I don't know if women know this, as guys, if there's just a little bit of a skid, we'll use our

powerful urine to blast it off. Yeah, we will. It's a fun game. It's a fun fire hose game using one's penis. Anyway, I don't know if you guys can do that as well. No. Blindly shooting. I'm getting blank looks from the producers.

Yeah, no, fair enough. Do you use the toilet brush at work? 59% nice said yes. I do use the toilet brush at work. 41% said no. We should have followed it up with is this different at home? Like, then done it at home.

How different is this? We all do it at home because that's your problem to deal with later if you don't. I think so. Rachel said, if we had one,

I would, but this fancy office I frequent has hourly cleanings. Hashtag Mirica. What? Hourly cleanings. Hourly, but then it's like

a petrol station. America's different because the water goes right up to your butt. Yeah, it kisses your perineum. Yeah, there's no skitties.

It just all floats there and then you flush it. That's why their technique's different, right? Josh says, yes, and so should everyone else. As a person at my work who cleanses staff toilets, it would make my job much easier and less gross. Oh, yeah, Josh. So the name and shame campaign, if I could, if you had rock-hard evidence.

Send them in if you've got had rock hard evidence send them in if you've got rock hard evidence of some names well if it's rock hard it's not leaving skid yeah no it'll be bouncing around yeah

maybe a float if you leave a skiddy you ought to be ashamed of yourself said Hannah yeah good you've all been told Hannah's spoken yeah

Brittany says only the office girls use it and it's too awkward if you leave any damage yeah that's a what although do you know what, at our workplace, because we're like a five-story building, I've seen

people come up from like level two or three to use the ground floor toilet that we use and then go back up to their office. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Don't come downstairs to take a dump and then go back to your cozy... I know, 100% do. So you can never tell who's leaving the, you know, who's the

culprit. You know who started that tradition at this company? Leighton Smith. Really? Old Talkback host. Really? Yeah, because he was on after Hosking had come down for an 8.30 dump. And he's high-fiver too. Dude.

Yeah, he eats a lot of kiwi fruit. Dude. Explosive. It's not just his opinions that were shit. Shiana says, whoever said no is fair or clean up after yourselves. I was a cleaner for a while and some people

are just effing disgusting. Yeah. Abby says, no, because I don't shit at work. I'm one of those people. You have to. Oh, you have to.

She has the ultimate power. We get up too early and then drink too much coffee to not. You just have to just. It's a diuretic. You just have to.

Lane says no because our staff bathroom is also a public toilet and I'm not paid enough to clean up everybody else's residue as well. Your staff is also the public toilet.

I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry. Yes, always. There is one woman who doesn't at my workplace. Feral. She is feral. That's from SJ.

Oh, yuck. Feral? Feral. I love that she knows the woman who's leaving the squirts. Yeah. They've identified their phantom shit. I love that she knows the woman who's leaving the squirts. Yeah. They've identified their phantom shit.

I feel sorry for the females because you have to sit down regardless of one or twos. Hmm. So you... Oh, yeah. Thank you for feeling sorry for us. That really means something. Yeah. I don't.

You don't? Yeah. I don't feel sorry for you in that regard. Fair enough. There's other things I definitely feel sorry for you about But having to sit Like what? What a beautifully relaxing spot

Wearing a brassiere every day Did you chew? Yeah that That looks like it sucks Yeah Sometimes Yeah That's the little pole

I was expecting a song With a bit more pizzazz To take us out of that To be honest God you really sent it up Didn't you? I was like That's the little pole

And I was like The volleyball went up And And it was like, the volleyball went up and then someone was like, No. ZM. I've never knowingly been cheated on. Which I've just sort of thought about.

Yeah. Me either. All my boyfriends kept it secret. That's so nice of them. That's so nice of them. They're very crafty men. No, I genuinely don't think, I mean, because I haven't had that many boyfriends,

to be fair, but I don't think I've ever been cheated on. But when I think about it, you know, like a lot of people, we read lots of articles and a lot of people talk about how they exposed their partner or how they like caught them

or called them out. And sometimes I think about it, I'm like, yeah, that'd be fun, man. I'd get real crafty. But then I probably wouldn't, I'd be devastated. And really surprised and kind of impressed with Aaron. Do you know what I mean? I'd be like, good for you.

Yeah, because you don't think he's just got it in him, just organisational wise. Totally incapable. Just on his physical size alone, sneaking would be. Sneaking would be hard as a centipede man. And also as sort of a tech illiterate man as well, like texting secretly different apps. He doesn't know about

the different apps, so he'd just be texting. He sounds like a dream to cheat on, to be honest. Maybe I will. Anyway, there was this woman, right? And she shared it all on TikTokiktok it was like almost like a master plan she discovered that her partner was cheating on her yeah like she you know found out and they had a big trip to europe booked a nine week europe trip so like you they couldn't have

uh called it off because it's all booked and paid for. Booked and paid for. Oh, yeah. Okay. Also, you know, when Europe's in your forecast, you need to get to Europe. Otherwise, it's devastating. Yeah. As a woman who has cancelled a trip to Europe before. Yeah.

So she found out and was like, okay, well, I'm still going to go on this trip. And what she did is every destination, she took a picture of her partner but she had a little post-it note and she would write on it a story that she then played out on tiktok in a video and each photo revealed the story of how she discovered he was cheating and she would get him to stand in front of landmarks all across europe and hold up the post-it note and be like i'm taking a photo of you and in it the video is, I've been with my partner for six months. This time he told me, I just discovered he's cheating. After this trip, I'm going to break up with him.

And the whole time it's hashtag, I know. And then she put it all together in a video and it's just him, poor, poor, poor bastard. It's just him like standing in front of these landmarks, smiling, and her saying, like, he told me six months in that he loved me. Hashtag, I know. We moved in together and started planning for our future.

Hashtag, I know. And then it goes on, and it's like, he did all these little things. Then I discovered, so after this trip, I'm breaking up with him. And then she uploads it and sends it to him. And the world, and posts it for the world to see. Women. God

we're twisted. And so it's obviously over. Like what was the follow up from this? No she's taking it back. Yeah no they're married. They're married now. They thought a child might solve their problems. So they've decided to try that. I've heard that that's a

great way to save a relationship. Yeah. And to get a dog. Bring another innocent human into it and make them sort of like weaponise them. It's healthy. I've heard it's a very healthy way to deal with drugs. I mean, you've tried twice and you and Sade are still together. Oh my God, yeah.

Yeah. We might need another one. That's why we keep getting more dogs than animals. It's just constant patchwork. Play. CDM's Flet, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six.

Silent walking. This is a TikTok trend. Look to be peddled by Gen Z. And it is a It's just going for a walk. The worst part is, they've got on their phones like, I'm going for a silent walk. It's like, no,

no, no, you're on your phone. You've immediately, by documenting your silent walk, made your walk not silent. Now, this isn't a walk where you wear, like, noise-cancelling headphones with nothing playing. Nope.

That's me. I hate nature. That's what it is. It's going for a walk. Without headphones. Yeah. Oh, my God. Give me strength.

Yeah. It's going for a walk. It is... I will reiterate once more. It is just going for a walk. So, today's top six is the top six names Gen Z have for things which is just how we used to do things.

Number six on the list. This really sounds like you're a boomer yelling over the back fence. I'm yelling because they took a mandarin. Those are not their mandarins. They wouldn't eat my mandarins because I've got seeds in them. Oh, yeah, okay. Do your mandarins have seeds in them? I don't have mandarins.

Do you have tangellos? I I don't have mandarins. Okay. Do you have tangellos? I've got tangellos. I've got oranges. I've got this other weird sort of orange. Did you? Now, who's growing oranges out of you two? We've both got oranges.

Did you see that video I tagged you in? Yes, sir. This girl peels her oranges, cuts them into like quarters, freezes them, and then gets them out and blends them for like an Aperol drink. I mean, I've been letting them fall on the ground and then Vaughn comes over and picks them up for the pigs. And the pigs don't deserve my Aperols. No more. Why do the piggies love Aperols? No, it's run dry now.

I'm freezing them. Yeah, good. We're going to have some frozen Aperol cocktails. I've been giving my oranges to the cows. So much vitamin C. Which is why they haven't been catching colds. No, no, that really. They're jacked.

So the top six names Gen Z have for things which are just how we used to do things. Number six on the list, clackety typing. That's just typing on an old keyboard. But according to Gen Z, clackety typing is a new form of typing that just really lets you feel the letters that you're typing and the impact they may have on someone you know. Wow. Okay, great.

That's good. That's good stuff. Number five on the list of the top six names Gen Z have for things, which is just how we used to do things. Number five is daytime sleeping. Hon, that's a nap. All you've had there is a nap. But sleeping during

daylight hours is a new form of nighttime sleeping but it's traditionally when you're awake because you've got to rest, queen. Okay, yeah.

Yeah, queen. Yeah, queen. Number four on the list of the top six names Gen Z have for things which is just how we used to do things. Manually hand brushing

your teeth. Hon, you're just brushing your teeth with an electric toothbrush. I literally, I'm still doing it that way. But manually hand brushing your teeth. Juan, you're just brushing your teeth with an electric toothbrush. I literally, I'm still doing it that way. But, manually hand brushing your teeth takes the electricity out of your mouth and lets you get in tune with your teeth like

our ancestors did. Wow. Like our ancestors. Oh my god. What? Yesterday, August said to me, they had a choir thing. She's like, oh my god, there was this woman at choir and she was like wearing a denim top and a denim skirt like they did in the old days. So we called her

2006 Karen. I was like, for a start, 2006 is not the old days. Oh my god. 2006 is not the old days. And she's like, you know, no, no, wait, wait, like way back, way back. Way back in like 2002.

For encouragement that 2002 was any better than 2006. I was like, that's not the old days. Yeah, is that why they call Hayley Nana? Yeah, Nana Hayley. Oh, no. That and her crow's feet. No, no. She reminds me.

Okay, she's booking Botox this weekend and it's your fault. I'm going to have a stapled face next week. They'll call her Nana Botox. No. Number three. Why is Nana's face all tight? this weekend and it's your fault. I'm going to have a stapled face next week. They'll call her Nana Botox. No! Why is Nana's face all tight? Nana's got tight. Number three on the list of the top six names Gen Z have for things,

which is just how we used to do things, phone-free in-person communication. You're just having a conversation in person. That's how it's been done for a millennia. This is called talking. But phone-free in-person communication, it takes the tech out of your already overloaded tech life. It lets you communicate and establish a connection with someone

in a physical manner. Yeah, it's good. It's good for you. Number two on the list of the top six names Gen Z have for things, which is just how we used to do things, are multifamily,-food meals. Hon, you're describing a potluck dinner. But multi-meal, multi-food meals are great for the community feel

and establishing group dynamics. It's how our ancestors used to do it. They did, yeah. Kia ora. And number one on the list of the top six names Gen Z have for things, which is just how we used to do things, latex-free lovemaking. That's raw dogging. But, and I will say it, you should only be doing that with someone you trust.

And Fletch, who can we trust? Nobody. When? Ever. Full stop, ever. Gotcha. Never trust anybody. Full stop, ever.

Just like our ancestors used to. Yes. Never trust anybody. Full stop ever. Just like our ancestors, you see. Yes. That's today's Subsex. Last night. Am I ready to talk? Yeah. Am I free to talk? Yeah, you're free to talk, yeah.

You can talk whenever you want. Don't let anyone ever tell you. You can't. Shut up, woman. I'm too drunk. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry woman. I'm just, I'm too drunk. Sorry, sorry. I'll just mute. I'll mute. Okay, that's a sign that

I've married the right person at work and I've married the right person at home. Yeah. Which leads me nicely on to last night was one of those moments where you're like, oh yeah, I've married the right person. Yep. Sade, it was after dinner. Yep. I was on the computer doing fact of the Day research and such. Because it's Wind Week.

It's Wind Week. It's Wind Week here at Fact of the Day. I've got great wind facts for you coming up. Oh, yes. I heard from the pilot yesterday. You'll remember World War II fighter pilot Gil Worthington. Who gave you the Fact of the Day. He gave me another Fact of the Day and it was so scary.

I was like, I can't tell people about that. I won't get on planes. Oh, my God. no, shut up. You have to give us that one. It's about microbursts. Maybe I'll give you that one as a little side fact. A little taster. And so I was doing that and Sade was sitting in the lounge folding some clothes

and Seven Sharps started. And this happened. And Ellie, how did the idea come about? One night, my husband and I had been out for a few drinks. He just kind of thought it'd be really cool if you could just get like a burrito out of a hole in the wall. So it originally was like burrito hole

and then it just grew from there. So. What? She said, we'd had a few drinks, we went out and he wanted a burrito from a hole in the wall. So it started out as a burrito hole. Now, when she said burrito hole, we both literally went,

burrito hole. And that's when you knew that you'd married your soulmate. That's when I knew that, you know, you need a little reminder every now and then that you're married to the right person. Wait, so it wasn't even that you were like, oh, we both love burritos. It was the term burrito hole.

It was the way the lady said, we went out for a few drinks and my husband said, wouldn't it be good if you could get a burrito from a hole in the wall? So it started out as a burrito hole. And when she said burrito hole, you both immaturely giggled burrito hole. Literally like that. Burrito hole.

Wow. You married your soulmate. That's again, it's confirmation. But man, I know I want a breakfast burrito hole. Wow. You married your soulmate. Yeah. That's again, it's confirmation. Yeah. Yeah. But man, I know I want a breakfast burrito. I'd just take any burrito. I'd take a daytime burrito

right now. Breakfast burritos are amazing. Breakfast burritos slap. Because there's egg and there's bacon and there's, oh yeah. Well,

there's no rules. No rules. What can go to burrito, breakfast burrito, as long as there's, I think there's egg at the very least. Some chives.

There's no rules in any burrito. You could put carrot in there. You could put. I wouldn't have squid in a burrito. I don't like eating squid anyway because of the cephalopod. Yeah. They're too clever. Yeah.

Squid burrito. It's a hard no from me. Yeah. Says the guy who will happily eat a pig. I can't eat a squid. It's too intelligent. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's the final rankings.

Final rankings. We do this every Friday. We rank different things. Fight, we argue sometimes, don't we? Do you know what we haven't ranked as FVH? You know? Obviously, Hayley number one. Is that what you want from this?

She needs number one more than either of us. Yeah, she does, yeah. She needs a daily number one. Oh, my God. Born, who's your number one? You are, Hayley. Oh, my God. Well, there we go.

We're ranked. Well, today's final rankings. We're doing chip styles. Yeah. And this, I think we got onto this earlier in the week because I think I said I detest, hate's a strong word, but I detest waffle, no, crinkle cut fries.

I've just got no time for them. They're a classic. Nothing says- They're in the freezer. A couple of new releases from United Video on a Friday night with a no frills pizza out of the freezer and chuck that in there on the bottom rack, on the fries on the top rack,

and you've got to keep moving them around and some get crispy and some don't and some seem barely cooked. No, it's straight cut for me. Straight cut? You mean like a fish and chip style? I'd do a wedge, but straight, I'd go straight. You're doing just a standard chip. Just a fish and chip style? I'd do a wedge, but straight. I'd go straight. Okay, so there are. You're doing just a standard.

Ironically. Chip. Just a fish and chip chip. A standard, yeah. A standard fish and chip chip. Yep. There are waffle fries. Waffle fries rule.

What about curly fries? Too much in a waffle fry and they go too crispy. I think curly and waffle are just so pretentious. Yeah, they are. You see fries on a menu and you're like, let's see what we get curly fries. I love curly fries. Everyone's so excited. And they always come with an aioli.

Yeah. But I love curly fries at the start of the bowl, but at the end when you're picking weird little hair. Last shapes out. Yeah. Get out. It's hard. I mean, you've got your classic non-ease shoestrings.

Yeah, shoestrings rule. Which I love. But, see, I love like a shoestring, say, from Macca's, but when you do shoestring yourself at home... No, you don't shoestring at home. You don't do shoestring at home. You need a deep fryer. Yeah, you don't shoestring at home.

Can you air fry a shoestring? You wouldn't. No, you wouldn't bother. People scream about the air fryer's ability to fry fries. Are we going to add kumara chips to this? No, because it's not the inside, it's the outside. It's the style. It's the style.

But kumara couldn't do, you couldn't do a kumara shoestring because it wouldn't hold up. Yeah, they're too soft. Or a waffle or a curly, nah. What about potato skins? Are we going to do that? Oh, yeah, okay, yes. I think that's in the top. That's almost a different way

of, that's almost like counting in the kermit, isn't it? Yeah, do you think we include that or exclude? No, I think we exclude it. I mean, it's delicious and I don't want to take anything away from it. Okay, well, I'm crossing it off my list. I'm going to go, shoestring's number one. Is it? By a country mile.

Oh my god, yeah, I love a shoestring. Only if it's a takeaway, like a nonny's. A nonny's or a pub shoestring or just any shoestring. I remember in the 90s when bread was the base of the food pyramid, so things were a little bit cooked. They used to say if you want to have a healthier fry, you get a bigger fry because it's all about the surface area that the oil penetrates. Yeah, yeah.

That's why shoestrings rule. That's why they're so yum. It's because they've had full oil penetration. What? No, see, it's a straight cut, a long straight cut. Beautiful. More like your fish and chip chips. Your Mr. Chip's chips.

Yep. So good. Mr. Chip's chips. When they're done right, unbeatable. They are my number one. I'm going to go shoestring number two, and then number three. What about a potato tornado? What's a potato tornado? What's a potato tornado?

What's a potato tornado? A potato tornado. They've got that machine and they wind it and it spirals it out and it goes on to us. It's different. It's too different. It's too different. It's too different.

It just popped into my head. What about a steak cut? Yeah, dude. Yeah, I think I'd go. Not a wedge. Not a wedge. I'd go a steak fry. A, dude. Yeah, I think I'd go... Not a wedge. Not a wedge. I'd go a steak fry. A steak fry three because they're good.

They're like a wedge. Bit of, you know, aioli. Bit of strength to them too. You can really get a bit of a chunkier sort of a dip sauce on those if you're using them in that manner. Wait, are we doing tater tots? No, that's different. That's not a fry. No, but it's potatoes.

That's a tot. I mean, that number one across the board, right? No, we've done ways to serve potatoes. Yeah, we have. That was taken care of when we did ways to... I just think you guys are mad. Shoestring is number one. Shoestring for me, shoestring number one. Then I'm going to go

steak cut. I'm going to jump all the way back to a big fat fatty and then I'll meet... I'm going to shove a crinkle in there. So you are cheesing steak and crinkle. Yeah, baby. I'm going to go steak number one.

Which is a potato wedge, right? They're basically potato wedges. It's a flat edged wedge. Yes. It's a wedge. Wedges are always, you know, in a wedge shape. But these ones aren't.

They're just a fat, they're just a big fat chip. So that's my number one. Number two is waffle fries. I love waffle fries. Yeah, but how often are you having a waffle fry? Not very often, but that's why. It's a treat.

But if it's there, I'll get it. Now, what about... It's like a carrot cake. If I see one on the menu, I have to get it. It's my rule. What about, they're called cottage fries. They're like a crinkle, they're like a chip, a fat chip, but they're like cut with a serration, like a crinkle.

Googling, googling. A cottage? Nah. Like this. How would you describe that? Like a potato chip, but it's a fat. Oh, it looks like a huge, looks like a massive gherkin. Yeah, it does.

Like how gherkins. No, that's not a fry. Potatoes thick cut on a corrugated slicer and fried. No, that's a slice. That's a potato slice. You're dangerously entering tater tot territory. Now, is poutine? No, that's ways to serve fries.

That's ways to serve. Okay. Okay, so Vaughn, did you final rank? Yes, I went steak, waffle, and then standard. Wait, where's your shoestring at? I didn't go shoestring. Controversial. Yeah. Controversial. But it is rad. Shoestring grabbing

out like a claw full of shoestrings and being like... Or like shoving them in the burger that you're having. Yeah, and lots of salt on them. When they're not salted, don't bother. Sometimes chicken salt. Okay, final rankings. Who's winning?

So I'm going shoestring. I think shoestring wins. Steak cut. I think steak cut. I did steak cut on your list. I did steak cut. I think steak cut might win there. Right.

Because it's the only one in all three. Thick, chunky. Thick cut fries. Okay, all right. And then shoestring two. And then what's three? Just standard. Just standard. Standard fish and chips. Fish and chips. And no shoestring two. And then what's three? Just standard? Just standard. Standard fish and chips.

And no crinkle on the list. That's a winner. It's on my list. It's on my list and I will speak for them. They get a lot of sauce in the grooves. For me it was fourth equal with shoestring. More sauce on the grooves. Yeah, that's what the rivets do. Yeah, they catch more sauce.

Scoopy up on the sauce. I don't know Yeah Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Yesterday My fast walking Got me in trouble I'm gonna say again

God you sprint dude It's a quick walker You sprint Do you know this weekend I'm hopefully weather permitting Doing a little hike With some friends Oh yeah

Oh weather is not permitting Weather is not permitting I don't think weather Is you going to survey It's not the kind of I think rain later in the day think weather is you going to survey. It's not the kind of, I think rain later in the day, but we don't mind a few showers. It's not the kind of, we're not, you know, going into the alpine conditions.

Are you doing it for the gram though? No, just for the fitness and... Nature. Nature. You know when you go out and there's lots of trees around you. Is it a silent walk? It's a silent walk. It's a silent walk. It's a silent walk.

But I feel like my friends haven't been hiking with me before. They don't know what they're in for. Yeah. You know, I did the Tongariro Crossing. God, that was so slow, my friends. This is why you travel alone. Yeah, it is. Fast walkers.

So yesterday I went into a supermarket. I won't say the name of the supermarket, but it's red and white. I know. Yeah, no, it could be anything. Could be anything. But I wasn't silent walking. Like we mentioned earlier in the show, I had my noise-cancelling headphones on. I went in to get a drink, but I couldn't find the drink that I wanted,

so I was like, I'm just going to leave. And I had my headphones in and I was walking to the train station. And I heard this yelling like over my headphones. I was maybe like 50 meters outside of the store, outside of the supermarket. And I turned around and there's a detective from the NYPD yelling at me. New York Police Department. He's got like the big badge, you know, the big badges that they have. I love those.

The big sheriff's badge. You know, like the shield. It's the shield. You know, they have the shield. And it says security. Yeah, it's right on his thing, but it said security. And is he wearing a flak, like a stab-proof jacket? Yep, yep. So he had his vest on, and he kind of comes, a big kind of, big guy, he kind of comes

over to me, and I take my headphones out, and he's like, oi, you didn't buy anything. And I was like, oh, I said, I didn't know you had to buy something. Oh, you smart ass. You smart ass. That's the good answer though because I am also unaware of the fact that you don't have to buy something should you enter a property.

Because when I walked out of the supermarket, I just walked through an empty checkout and I did have a backpack on and he was looking at me like I was a shoplifter oh my god again because you've gone in and you're sprinting out yeah because I walk fast and I have like a bitchy resting place

so I must look like a shoplifter what did he think you'd shoplifted for the second time in six months I've been accused of shoplifting

from a supermarket hot chocolate do you think it's racial profiling maybe so he said yeah I think it probably is yeah and I said oh do you want to look in? So he said, yeah, I think it probably is.

Yeah. And I said, oh, do you want to look in my bag? He's like, no. And I was like, what do you want then? Okay. Do you want to kiss me? Like what? Do you want me to ask for my number?

What are we doing? Oh my God, are we going to make out? Yeah, cute. And then he just looked at me and I was like, oh, do you want to look in my bag? He's like, no. And so I'm like, okay, well, have a good day. He's like, okay. And then like goes back to his supermarket. I was like, okay, well, have a good day. He's like, okay. And then like goes back to his supermarket.

I was like, what? Like, why is he so weird? Like, I literally wasn't even in there that long. Yeah, because you just went in, nicked something, put it in your backpack and ran out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So that's the second time I've been accused of shoplifting in six months.

Because you walk like you've just stolen something. Because I walk out of supermarkets fast, like I walk everywhere fast. Also, his eyes move sideways like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Yeah, I just look shifty. I must look shifty. Do I look shifty?

You are a shifty fellow. You're a shifty fellow. Yeah, right, okay. It's a bit shifty, our Fletch. These security badges, though, they look like actual detective badges. What does it take to become a security guard like what are the qualifications i don't know not that i'm thinking like i know that supermarkets are like

absolutely under the pump at the moment i've seen like the most craziest people walk out of supermarkets with baskets of groceries and running running actually stealing stuff and like staff getting abused i've heard in my defence though. Yeah, they were being mean to her, so she had to. But I've been in a hardware store, a supermarket and the warehouse, which I was going to try to say department store, but over the loudspeaker it's like, hey, you know how they do their little like... Specials? Specials and what have and like little store announcements.

I've heard each one of those ones saying, please be kind to our staff or like a message of support. And I'm just like, what? It's got to the point where they're constantly like, hey, if you're walking around, you might be having a bad day, but remember, it's not our staff's fault. Please don't scream at Barbara when she's scanning your items if it's not exactly how much you thought it was going to be.

Yeah. That's sad to me. Dude. Yeah, be nice. Be nice. Be nice. Be kind. What if they accuse you of shoplifting and you haven't shoplifted?

Absolutely. Punch them. Punch them. No, Hayley. They, yeah. They're just doing their job. Yeah, totally. But, like, I mean, just do it better is what I ask.

Like, I don't know. Like, if you see someone. Search the bag. Like, yeah, exactly. Or if you see them. Don't search Fletcher's bag. Jesus. Oh, yeah, you don't want to search my bag.

Or your bag, actually. Oh, God, you probably put your finger in a big wet chocolate puddle. Oh, I don't think you can say that on the radio. You sure? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey? Play ZM's Fletch Vornanalee. Play ZM. Yesterday we announced

the Friday's Live line-up. Jojo joining Jackson Derulo, Boyz II Men, Flo Rida, Callie Rowland, Travi McCoy,

Baby Bash and more. The tickets are on sale September 12. All those details are at ZM Online. Or we could do one better than just announcing

she's part of the line-up for Friday's Live because she's joining us on Zoom. Good morning, Jojo. Hey, guys. Gorgeous. Not that I forgot.

Guys, someone I love. I can't see her on the screen. I'm getting a light reflector. Move so I can see this gorgeous woman. Oh, my gosh. Move the lights. Oh, sweet. Radiant.

Oh, my God. We're so excited to see you, Jojo. When was the last time you were in New Zealand? I've never been to New Zealand. I'm mine. This is bucket list stuff that I'm checking off the list. I'm so excited. I was going to ask you that because when your single came out,

you were what, 13, 14? So you wouldn't have even done a concert, right? No, never went to New Zealand. Yeah, my first single, Leave, Get Out, came out when I was 13. And then Too Little, Too Late when I was 15, 16. So it's been like a trillion years. So I'm excited. Do you know your single, Leave, Get Out, I just confirmed 2004.

That was when Fletch and I started working together in the radio. What? And boy, I tell you, we played that song a few times. I mean, I can't believe I finally get to sing this ancient song. Don't stop calling it ancient. Because by and way, you're calling us ancient when you call the song ancient. This is a fresh new pop hit. No, we're fresh.

Oh my God, what are you going to do when you're in New Zealand? Because if this is bucket list, you've got to do more than just perform. You've got to do more than just work. Okay, so my friend who lives in Noosa in Australia actually just texted me and she goes, what was she saying? She was like, hey, should we plan a wine tasting trip in one of

the regions? What'd she say? In wine country of New Zealand after the last show. So we're going to get our wine on. We're going to, you know, you're going to have to wheelbarrow me out of the winery. It's going to be great. Because these Friday the winery it's gonna be great because these these Friday's festivals it's like

Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday and like we're there on a Sunday yay Sunday and then all these musicians and artists are just getting

busted and crammed in and go go go and then at the you do finish in New Zealand so you should definitely hang around for a bit oh I'm gonna hang around I'm gonna I cannot going to hang around.

I'm going to, I cannot wait to see. I mean, what would you guys recommend I see? I was going to say, we'll show you around. We'll show you around. We've got the sights. We've got a good time. You say wine country. The whole country is basically wine country. It depends on what kind of wine you want to drink.

I mean, the good stuff. Are you more of a red or a white? Sparkling? I'd say I'm more of a white. I like a dry white. I was going to say, we're going dry or we're going sweet. In my mind, I'm drawing up our Waiheke.

Oh, we're going to go Waiheke. Waiheke, close to Auckland. Beautiful ferry ride. It's going to be November, so we're probably going to be more like summer or spring. Oh, it's beautiful. It's going to be gorgeous. But the ferry prices have gone up. Oh, you're judging dollars. Oh, I don't know going to be gorgeous. It's going to be gorgeous. But the fairy prices have gone up like $10. Oh, I don't know how we'll deal with that. I'm sure we can weasel Jojo onto the Waiheke fairy.

Yeah, easy. Now, so you're performing on stage at the moment in Moulin Rouge. I am. I'm starring as Satine on Broadway, which is crazy, and I grew up a musical theatre kid before I, you know, started my pop stardom at 12. And, you know, before that, like, that's what got me into the love of being on stage and everything was local

theater, professional theater in Boston. Okay. I hate to do this, boys. And just give me a couple of minutes. Jojo, what's your favorite? I'm a musical theater kid as well. What's your favorite musical? Favorite role? Ohavourite role?

Oh, favourite role? Evita. I love Little Shop of Horrors. I love Les Mis. I'm a Les Mis girl. I'm a Les Mis. You've got big Eponine energy. Thank you.

That's a compliment, guys. That could be talking in a foreign language right now. I don't know. I love Sweetie Todd. Like, beggar woman. I love Sweetie Todd. Oh, yeah, yeah. What's the pies? Best pies in London. She can play it all.

If you had to choose, though, Jojo, would you go live theatre, Broadway, classic theatre styles, or would you go big pop concert in a crowd? I don't want to choose, darling. I want to do it all. You must, Jojo. You simply must.

I don't know. I don't know. I suck at making decisions. That's okay. Well, we could have a big crowd for you in New Zealand for sure. Wait a minute. I need to revisit Moulin Rouge. Satine was who Nicole Kidman was in the movie, right?

That's right. So I'm playing, quite literally playing a dying whore. She's the greatest courtesan in Paris and she, you know, it's this romance slash tragedy and there's a mashup of all these pop songs you know, from the past.

It is unbelievable. The show is so much fun. I know there's a version in Sydney that's playing too, so I'm going to try to go see it while I'm over there too. Wow. Compare yourself to their Satine. Yeah, I love to compare myself to people. Yeah.

What can you tell us about what's in store? I mean, obviously people want to hear the big hits from Eurogy. I can't believe you're 13, 13, 14-year-old South, Obviously, people want to hear the big hits from Uroji. I can't believe you're 13, 13, 14-year-old South. But are you giving us a bit of a mixed bag, some newer stuff and the classics? Really, I just want to like bop you over the head with bops. So I'm just really going to go bang, bang, bang, bang. Leave you wanting more.

Come back and do a full tour for those who want to see more, you know, another time. But yeah, I'm just going to give you just relentless hits and bops. It's going to be great. Relentless bops. We are very excited. All the details for Fridays are at ZM Online. Jojo, we'll show you the wineries. We'll show you the wineries. We look forward to seeing you.

Thank you so much for talking to us. Thank you, guys. And all the details for Friday live. The lineup, the tickets at ZM Online plus a chance for you to win as well. ZM Facebook and Instagram pages for a chance to win. This really made me chuckle.

There was a woman on TikTok who had filmed her sister and it says, y'all which is, honestly, I love y'all. I think we should bring back y'all which is honestly I love y'all I think we should bring back y'all very American very yeah

southern states American isn't it it's also very gender neutral yeah I remember you know people always say ladies and gentlemen

and when I MC I always look I'm like what do we say instead of ladies and gentlemen and y'all is always the number one thing because it'll be an American website

well I did want to be Vaughn Smith yeah y'all is always the number one thing, because it'll be an American website. Well, I did want to be Vaughan Smith, yeah, y'all, as my pronouns. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, y'all. Singular y'all. Yeah, okay. Yeah, complicated. Anyway, she said,

y'all, my sister made a PowerPoint to tell my parents she's a stripper. And it shows her parents who are sitting on... Great use of a PowerPoint. I mean, PowerPoint's got so many uses. This is just one of them. Her parents are sitting on... Great use of a PowerPoint. I mean, PowerPoint's got so many uses. This is just one of them. Her parents are sitting on dining chairs looking at the TV screen. Her sister is there with the PowerPoint presentation up on the TV.

And they're watching it. And it's a slow reveal. She does this whole, like, storytelling journey of, like, this is a really powerful person who made money and da-da-da-da-da. And so what I would like to present to you today is my new career. And they're like, oh, we're excited. And then it's like, boop, I'm a stripper. It's really funny.

Do you know what? To be fair, her parents are like, okay, because the PowerPoint really took them on a journey. Right. She sold them. It was a sales presentation on her new career. You're so right. It was a sales presentation. It was literally, you're so right, it was a sales pitch more than just an explanation of this is my new job. Yeah, they probably just wanted it out of home.

Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make your money however you want. Just get out of my house. Or some cash rent, you know. Or start paying rent. Yeah, exactly.

Or some rent. But a very creative way of delivering what I imagine most people would sort of perceive as bad news. Yeah, 100%. You know, having to tell your parents less what I'm doing. Yeah, tough news, tough talk. Well, I remember when I was at drama school and times were tough, I thought about doing some, not stripping, but working at the strip clubs, doing the waitressing. Oh yeah, okay.

Yeah. How would you have broken that news to Craig? Do you know what? Do you know what that stopped me? I don't think my dad goes to strip clubs, but I was like, imagine. Imagine he turns up. Or like his business partner. Yeah, but somebody he knows might have.

Yeah. I was like, if Brian, his business partner, walks in here and I'm like, hey Brian, you out here supporting the girls tonight? I'm like, oh, I can't. Was the accent just... I'm putting on an accent. I was at drama school at the time, so I was also using it. Bit of extra work. Yeah, right.

You could have told Brian you were researching a role. Yeah. I'm playing a little southern belle who comes to the big city and strips for the mugs. Do you want to hear us supporting the girls tonight? Anyway, I love watching this because I thought it was such a fun and creative way of breaking

some sort of difficult news to her parents. But I wondered if we could take some calls and get some messages in of the maybe creative way that you broke some bad news to someone. Like maybe you did a PowerPoint coming out.

You did a PowerPoint coming out presentation. Oh yeah. It's more of an Excel spreadsheet. Okay. On this left column is all the women I'm attracted to. Now that's empty. I'm gay. Here's a man who I have had naked

fun times with. Yes, an Excel spreadsheet. You'll notice that the ratio is well out of whack. So this column is people I've done just hand stuff with. Now here's some stats on the next sheet. Okay, 0800-DARLS-IT-IN. We want to take some calls. Maybe we won't do bad news because, you know, coming out is not bad news.

It's great news. Maybe difficult news. Difficult news. Difficult news. Difficult news. Yeah. What is the creative way that you delivered difficult news to someone? Maybe those giant blow-up letter balloons. I'm pregnant.

That's expensive. I'm pregnant and I'm 60. Yeah. You just double-side tape them to the wall or something. Yeah, 100%. Oh, no. 0800-DARLS-AT-EM is our number. Give us a call. You can double-side tape them to the wall or something. Yeah, 100%. Oh, no. 0800-DARLS-AT-HEM is our number. Give us a call.

You can text through 9696. What is the creative way that you delivered some difficult news? There is a woman who announced to her parents that she was becoming a stripper, and she did it via a PowerPoint presentation. And you know what? It worked. So I want to hear that.

We wanted to know the creative ways that you delivered maybe some difficult news. Sophie, you had some difficult news to tell your parents that you didn't want to go to Outward Bound. So you also did this. I did, yeah. Morning. Good morning.

Good morning. For a long time listening. Oh, we get the bell. Yay. So you were like, I don't want to go to Outward Bound. So you had to break the difficult news to your parents. So what was in this PowerPoint presentation? Honestly, it was probably like 15 years ago now.

And I heard all the terrible stories about having to go and sleep in the bush by yourself. And that scared me. So I pulled my parents into a formal living room and gave a full-on PowerPoint presentation. I love those. About why I shouldn't have to go. Yep. Also, I want to know why you had to go in the first place because when I was a teenager,

Outward Bound was where you sent your child if they were being a little shit, basically. Yeah, and I was a straight-A student. But I had quite a forward-thinking parent, and they wanted me to go for the mindset stuff to be able to know that you can do anything in life. And it helped, but I won't admit it. I just cursed their name the whole time. Yes, never admit that your parents were right.

They know, but you must never utter those words. Outward Bound always sounded so much fun. I would have loved to have gone. Oh, no. Yeah, it's not when you're a little fat kid and you don't like running. So it's that way. They had on their hands a well-behaved straight-A student, but they wanted a more rounded, excuse the pun,

because you were a little fatty, but they wanted a more well-rounded student that would not be scared to tackle challenging areas of life. Yes, and I'll tell you what it works because I've lost 60 kilos now. Oh, jeepers. And do you love the outdoors? Do you go on hikes?

I do. I love the outdoors. I go out hiking almost every weekend. Oh, my gosh. See, there you go. Somebody just said, Outward Bounds, Hayley, these days is a leadership experience. They realised they were sending the rat bags and they were... Oh, my God. They reframed it.

They reframed the whole experience. Sophie, thanks for sharing. I think Sophie should be our caller of the week as well. Oh, I totally agree. It's got nothing to do with the fact that it's Friday and we forgot about it for the rest of the week. I do too. Oh, I totally agree. It's got nothing to do with the fact that it's Friday and we forgot about it for the rest of the week. I think you're an inspiration.

Oh, you are. So you've got a $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our mates at McCafe. Thank you so much. Have a great day. You too.

You have a great life. The manners on this woman, she learnt that at Outward Bound. I'm sending both of my children and Fletch to Outward Bound. You need better manners. You have to. Keep your texts coming through.

Good Lord. I love this. I'm so tickled by these stories of how you creatively broke some difficult or bad news to people. Yeah, this is great. Well, a girl did this with her parents, broke the bad news.

Well, difficult news. Well, the difficult news, she was becoming a stripper. with her parents, broke the bad news. Well, difficult news. Well, the difficult news, she was becoming a stripper. And obviously that's not the career they envisioned for her. Exactly. Emma, good morning. Oh, good morning. You had a PowerPoint presentation just the other day. I did.

I did. My 14-year-old and her friend had built it up, told me they had something they wanted to tell me and discuss with me. And they wanted to both be in the room. And I was like, oh, they're coming out. Oh, they're coming out. And that's fine, but I was like, okay, I've just got to, you know, handle this. It's okay, whatever they're going to presume, it's going to be okay. They're 14, they can't have crashed a car. Everything was going through our heads.

And anyway, the night came, we sat down. We couldn't Chromecast. It didn't go the way they planned. And the... The Chromecast wasn't working. The build-up was better in the woods. Anyway, I sit down and I say, can I just see it? Can you just share it with me?

No, no, no. We're going to read it. We're going to read it line each. Yeah. Okay, yep, no, no. We're going to read it. We're going to read it line each. Yeah. Okay. Yep, that sounds good. This is, the title was, Why We Want To Go To Palmerston North.

Oh. And you were immediately like, no. I thought they were wanting. No more. I thought it was going to be. No child of mine is going to want to go to Palmerston North. I thought it was. They want to go to Australia.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be tattoos or piercings. Yeah, totally. Or pregnancy or something. It was worse. It was Palmerston North. So much worse. To their credit, they want to go on their own, and they're only 14.

They've even hyperlinked an Airbnb. What for? Hell no. What are they doing in Palmerston North? Oh, they just want... We live in Wellington, but we live slightly north in Waikenai. No, I don't trust them.

I don't trust them. Don't do it. They told us to look at the shops. No, don't do it. Don't do it. I don't know. I don't know about this. I was a teenager.

I was a teenager. There's no shops in Palmerston North. I used to fly up to Auckland to go to Big Day Out, and some of my friends were allowed to go on their own, and I cannot tell you the things we did in those hotel rooms. I cannot tell you. Don't let them go. Don't let them go.

I trust your children. It's the other people I'm not sure of. Yeah, Emma, thank you. Jonah, how did you break the difficult news? Morning, guys. Morning. So when I was at university, I was sort of coming out to my friends, making the rounds.

But I hadn't quite nailed the I'm gay sort of phrase. So with one of my friends, I just showed her my Instagram Discover page. I mean, that'll tell you everything you need to know about a person. Yeah, the shirtless naked men kind of was... Yeah, I imagine your discovery page looks a bit similar to mine, to be fair. Yeah. A lot of Jason Momoa.

Exclusively. Oh, no, yeah, we don't know what Jonah's into because you're into giant dudes. Oh, yeah. He might be, you know, a toy catcher. Do you like the big boys, Jonah? Yeah, I mean, I would say I probably don't have the type, but, you know, all the men. All Yeah, I mean, I would say I probably don't have the type,

but, you know, all the men. All the men in the world. All the men. Me too. All the men in the world. Jonah, amazing. Thank you. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

Okay. I tried to write this down. It's only three lines. Hey, Vaughn, good luck. Good luck to you, sir. Thank you. I got an absolute... From one broadcast to another, thank you.

Pile on in the group chat yesterday. One of our group chats is a big friend group. This is a friend group that all went to New Plymouth. Yeah, for Hayley's show on Fletcher's birthday. Yeah, all great friends. Oh, beautiful group. Yesterday in a group chat titled New Plymouth Weekend, it was brought to my attention that Fletcher's very nice bathroom

has been used on a dating app by a user of said dating app as a sexy backdrop for a tasteful nude. This is brought to my attention. It's a topless nude. It's a topless. It's a nude? No, you can see heading down. Yeah, but you can't see the...

You can see there's not undies on. That's a tasteful nude. You know, they're naked, but you can't see the whole shaboomba. Yep. I'm getting the whole... You're not getting the shaboomba. There's no shaboomba. There's no shaboomba.

No shaboomba. No shaboomba. There's a couple of shebang bangs. But no shaboomba. This photo pops up in the group chat. Oh, my God. And the pile on is beautiful and immediate.

It's a friend in my bathroom. Unbeknownst to me, doing a photo shoot. Yeah. There's been a photo shoot in my bathroom. The mirror in your bathroom. Stunning.

It's like a ring light. Yeah, when we did our bathroom, we wanted to put that mirror in and it was a close call, but it just wasn't within our budget. It was such a nice... And it fogs. It doesn't fog up this mirror.

It's going to be a heater built in. It's going to ring light. It's lovely. Yep. So another friend was perusing dating apps. Searching for love. Searching for love. Is that what you do?

Good luck to him on his search for love. Searching for love or one hour love? Oh, Fletch, how dare you? He's sold to the earth. I didn't say he was. I didn't say he wasn't. He's a good boy. Yeah.

And then he's like, I think I recognise this bathroom. And sends the photo to the group and we're all just like, I said, when I got it, I was like, man, that looks like Fletch's bathroom. And Sade's like, you dickhead, it is F said when I got it I was like man that looks like Fletcher's bathroom and Sade's like you dickhead it is Fletcher's bathroom I was like

100% ahhh pile on in the groups it was one of those group chats where it was like ding ding ding

I was doing something at the time and my phone was just like meh meh meh do you know what I even wonder if this photo was taken when I was drinking

with the producers. I think that could have happened pre an event that we were going to. Really? This photo could have just been taken in the bathroom while we were in the lounge. I feel like that's when it happened. Yeah. Wowee. Yeah, we were all hanging out and, you know.

Actually, is this when I was there? Yes. Yeah! Who sneaks off? I reckon he just popped in and just was like, God, I'm feeling good today. Who sneaks off for a sexy photo shoot? It's a good lighting. It's good lighting. You've got nice tiles. You've got a ring light in your bathroom.

Yeah, and so I think... You can do makeup tutorials in there. Yeah, that's when it's taken. Do you know, funny thing, someone else sent me this photo too on Monday. Really? Oh my God. This is probably the very easiest bathroom. Yeah, I know. It's a great bathroom.

It's a great bathroom. It's a great bathroom. It's a lovely bathroom. Well, I mean, it's a perfect backdrop for a photo. In fact, now looking at this photo once again, next time I'm having a shower, I might take some snaps. Because there's a mirror, and then on the other wall there's another mirror so it kind of creates

that infinite space vibe. Yeah, it's like an infinite loop. Yeah. It's very gram worthy. Oh, absolutely. I'm going to do a shoot in here. We should all do a shoot in here actually. Do you think so? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, anyway, thanks for the pylon. Appreciate it.

It was a big pylon. There's other aspects of the pylon that can't be mentioned here. Look, some things we have to say for off-air. I think it might be my favourite pylon of 2023. I'm just going to say. I know we've got a few months to go. Yeah, we do. We've had some classic pylons this year.

We've got a quarter of the year left. Don't call it too early. I'm going to pencil this one as my pylon of the year. Okay, great. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Look, I'll be the first person to admit that I've had relations

with some people that perhaps I wouldn't choose during the daytime, but at night time with a few bevies on board, perhaps my view has been skewed and I've gone for it. Yeah. And you always, I'm not the only one,

I'm just the one brave enough to say it. Okay. But you always blame the beer goggles. You're like, oh man, you are so much more attractive. Beer goggles. Yeah, you do. I had the beer goggles on, you know. Or the Prosecco goggles.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Prosecco spectacles. Vodka cruiser goggles. Vodka cruiser. More of a vodka cruiser contact. Yeah, sure. There you go. Well, researchers were like, I wonder if beer goggles

is actually a thing. If something, the effects of alcohol actually impact the way in which you see people. Okay. The way in which you see someone and their attractiveness changes.

Myth. Really? I just think booze makes, total myth. Booze just makes you less fussy and all. Like you eat things when you booze

that you wouldn't eat when you're sober. It's just everything. Yeah. You do. You drop and all. Like, you eat things when you booze that you wouldn't eat when you're sober. It's just everything. You do, right? You drop your standards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All around the board. Okay.

I wouldn't sit down normally and eat a liter of yogurt, but, you know. Yogurt? Yogurt's your... No, no, no, no, no. But I'm just saying there was a time where I was hungry and there was nothing, so I ate yogurt until I was full. Don't eat yogurt until you're full is another piece of advice. It's not a food to fill you up, is it?

No, it's a treat. It shouldn't be the only thing you eat until you're full. Well, this research, this really serious research, and I'm glad they took the time actually to debunk the myth of beer goggles, revealed that

all it's doing is increasing your likelihood of approaching someone that you find attractive. So even if there's like, if you think about someone you've slept with or whatever, that you're like, oh, God, there's our quality in them that you find attractive. The booze loosens you up and makes you a bit chatty Cathy and makes you kind of approach them. And as you say you know you're

hungry you'll eat anything yeah yes you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah you're just less fussy yeah it's not it's not that I'm seeing them as more attractive I'm just hungry yeah and I'll eat anything yes so yeah okay that's all that booze is doing. It does not in any way skew how you see someone or their attractiveness or increase their attractiveness and then you see them like, oh my god. Yeah. It just makes you hungrier

to the point that you'll eat anything. How did researchers, did they just go out on a Friday, Saturday night and just hang out with people? No, I mean, that was part of the research. They actually looked at, like, brain activity. You know, like, is anything actually chemically changing as well? Right.

Straight up, no. Perception of attractiveness does not get skewed when you drink. Okay, so you cannot now blame beer goggles for any mistakes at the weekend. For that guy in the bed who won't leave. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Now, today's fact of the day is about wind because I was challenged to make it Wind Week on Tuesday. It's not a challenge. It's officially Wind Week. It's a Wind Week. As dictated by us. I have enough facts. I could have done a full week.

What week is next week? Have we decided? Honey Badger Week. Honey Badger Week. Okay. Honey Badger Week. Fantastic. I could have done a full week. What week is next week? Have we decided? Honey Badger Week. Honey Badger Week. Okay. Honey Badger Week. Fantastic. I'm excited.

Honey Badger, one of the greatest animals to ever have lived. Yeah. That ever will live. Please, no disrespect to the Honey Badger. This time, on the penultimate days before Honey Badger Week. Save your love and admiration for next week. Next week. Honey Badger Week.

So, you'll remember we've heard multiple times from RAF squadron leader Honey Badger Week here at Facts of the Day. Save your love and admiration for next week. Next week. Honey Badger Week. So you'll remember we've heard multiple times from RAF squadron leader and fighter race Gil Worthington. Yes. Who is a pilot that flies for an airline that wants to remain anonymous in both name and employment. Fantastic. So we gave him this fictitious World War II fighter pilot alias. Okay.

He then has hit me with some more. Oh my goodness. But this one's scowey. Scowey? This one's scowey. Is it scowey? And if people already have a flight phobia, I feel like this will do nothing but aggravate the situation.

Oh, I'm excited. But I don't know if I could talk about the windiest place on Earth and where the highest wind speed has ever been recorded on Earth. Oh, okay, you do that one, and then just hit us with the side scary fact. Right at the end. Because it's wind week. We want all the wind we can handle. It is wind week. Well, for wind fact today, I thought

I would go and find the windiest place on Earth, Wellington. So Wellington's, like, in the top five. Yeah, it is. But it's not the windiest. No, it's not. Chicago, because they call that the windy city. The windy city. Chicago's not even on there. No, where is it?

I remember this because I'm welly proud. And when someone takes a title from us, I'm always like, hmm. Is it somewhere in like Siberia? Gale Force Speed Windsor recorded 233 days of the year in Wellington. What? Yeah, bro. Oh, my God. I'd call in sick if I was a pilot and they're like,

you're going to Wellington today. I'd be like, sideways. I've got the black lung. We're going in sideways. So it always has a high wind. But the Guinness Book of World Record and National Geographic Atlas

have listed Commonwealth Bay in Antarctica as the windiest place on the planet. Oh, that'd be a cold wind. So regularly over 150 miles an hour. Yeah, but they've got no apartment buildings to block the windiest place on the planet. Oh, that'd be a cold wind. So regularly over 150 miles an hour. Yeah, but they've got no apartment buildings to block the wind. Nah.

They should pop some of those up. Yeah, they should. A couple of new walls. A couple of hedges. Yeah, some hedges. A couple of wind-blocking macrocarpa. Yeah. Tree hedges.

Some fast food outlets. Yeah, yeah. Mall or Westfields. Or Westfields. Yeah, get in Westfields. That'll slow the wind down. At any given time, the average wind can be expected to be 50 miles an hour. Oh, wow.

So 80-odd kilometres an hour, which is a hell of a breeze. Yeah. A hell of a breeze. But the fast- That'd lift up your frock, wouldn't it? It would tear your umbrella inside out. You'd know about it, Wellington. The highest recorded wind speed on Earth ever was in Australia.

Oh. Yeah, it was during a tropical cyclone, Cyclone Olivia, 1996, on Barrow Island in Australia. And as Cyclone Olivia smashed down on them in 1996, the wind speed got up to 407 kilometres an hour. That's kilometres an hour. That's kilometres an hour. That is insane. What would that even do?

What would that even be? So that's what I looked up, like your descriptions of wind and what it would be. So just to put it in miles because it seems like weirdly wind is measured in miles more than kilometres around the world,

which does my head in. I don't know how miles works. What does it equate to? 1.6 kilometres is one mile. So the speed they reached was 253 miles an hour. Now, if you look at an estimated wind chart, if you go to 13 to 18 miles an hour is what is known as a moderate breeze,

the wind will move branches, raise a little dust and loose paper off the ground. Good for the washing. Great for the washing. Really good for the sheets. Let's go up to the Beaufort move branches, raise a little dust, and loose paper off the ground. Good for the washing now. Great for the washing. Really good for the sheets. Let's go up to the Beaufort No. 7. 32 to 38 miles an hour, whole trees in motion, inconvenience felt when walking against the wind.

Okay. Now, the wind that they recorded was 10 times that. The highest one they do is over 75 miles an hour, severe and extensive damage. Roofs can be peeled off. Windows can be smashed. Trees are often uprooted. RVs and small mobile homes will be overturned and driving automobiles can be pushed

off the road. And over 75 miles an hour and the highest wind was 253. Oh my goodness. So nothing would survive. It would be like an atomic blast. Yeah. It was so strong that they couldn't even validate the reading for 14 years because it can't be right.

Equipment must have been wrong. It must have been. Dad's weather station must be wrong. Must be wrong. Must be wrong. So, yeah, the fastest wind ever to blow on Earth that's been recorded is 407 kilometres an hour. And what about the pilot fact?

What's our pilot fact today about wind? You want me to quickly dip And what about the pilot fact? What's our pilot fact today about wind? You want me to quickly dip my toe in the pilot fact? One of the reasons they don't fly through thunderstorms is something called microbursts, which is an extreme... It doesn't sound good. Extreme downdraft, which can all of a sudden make wind force

straight down at over 100 miles an hour. Which is, okay, a lot. Which can cause a rate of descent of 6,000 feet a minute. If they were coming into approach with 1,500 feet off the ground, so two minutes before they actually touched down and they hit a microburst, it would take 15 seconds for that plane to be smashed straight into the ground. Yeah, okay, that's cool.

That's awesome. That's scoway. I told you it was scoway and you still wanted to hear it. And the fact that even if they get through that, the tailwind created by when the wind hits the ground and goes out can increase the plane speed by up to 100 miles an hour because it's a tail speed. So you're coming into land and all of a sudden it's just like jetpack.

I told you it was scoway. I can't wait to head to the airport after this. You flying on a little prop plane down to Christchurch from Toton? Toton to Christchurch? No, it'll probably be a big enough plane and I'll be safe and fine and make it. Yeah, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. Yeah, it's looking like clear skies.

I think it'll be a beautiful view flying down. Oh, yeah, you'll get a beautiful view. But just think about those down drives. I will. Keep them in the back of your mind. Yeah. I will. So today's fact of the day is the highest wind speed ever recorded

was in Australia during a hurricane and it reached 407 kilometres an hour. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. They said they were going to come and get you, and they came and got you. If you wrongfully took the COVID wage subsidy from the government or had to pay some of it back or took more than you should have, well, they've caught one guy. But I will say there was nothing subtile

about this. I think you don't say the B. You hit the B. Subtile. Subtile about this. A man made multiple applications for COVID-19 wage subsidies for his company and got $196,000

worth of subsidies. Sorry? Yeah, $196,000 worth of subsidies for his employees. Of which he had none. Oh dear. There was no employees. According to the bank statements

that was looked into, $75,000 was paid to contractors during the period and $18,000 went into his personal bank account. The remaining money, if you're doing quick maths, $75,000 plus $18,000, $23,000 was spent. Carried the one. Yeah, I carried a big old one.

Did he carry the one? He did, yeah. Roughly $100,000 remained. Yeah. The remaining money was spent on company and personal use, including online gambling, adult entertainment clubs,

and fast food. That's all company expenses. That's it. That's it. I don't know if it is. Yeah, 20 bucks on the... I don't know if it is. 20 bucks on the WASD.

What do I code that for? To claim it back. We were joking off here. This guy did not learn. Like, we all learned that valuable life lesson, spending your course related costs on nothing. I would spend mine every year of my degree. And then they'd be like, you need to buy this.

And I'd be like, I don't have any money, man. And they're like, use your course related costs. And I was like, I took a holiday to India. I can't, I don't have that. That's gone. That money's gone. Like most of us boozed away our course-related course and you went to India on a holiday.

Yeah, I did. The other years I boozed it away. And I think I bought a nice frock. Okay, right. Because I worked in the clothing store. I had someone when I was at whatever I did that passed for university. They said, can you write a letter saying that I bought a computer off you for $995

okay and I was like okay country boy in the big smoke yeah no hey Vaughn he's a bad boy

I do I'm gonna use my best riding hair tell them you bought one of them their computers off me and I did it

and I was like oh okay and then I got real nervous and freaked out about it and then one of my mates prank called me pretending to be oh my god can I just ask some more questions about this and I was like, oh, okay. And then I got real nervous and freaked out about it. And then one of my mates prank called me, pretending to be. Oh, my God.

Can I just ask some more questions about this computer? I was like, how much? I'm going to try to answer your question. I was like, hey, sir, I don't know too much, but name tap-a-tap-a-computer boxes. But, yeah, and I was just like, what the hell are people doing? Because it was all, yeah, new to me that people were getting it out and saying, oh, it's for books and $1,000 or not. But it's like this guy, you just get all this free money

and you're like, well, just spend it. You pay back your course-related costs. Whereas this guy wasn't having to pay back. He was fraudulently ripping off. You pay back your course-related costs in your late 30s, 40s. You know, 19-year-old Hayley doesn't give a toss about 33-year-old Hayley that had to pay that off. No.

That sounds like a 30-something problem. Yeah. She'll be rich by then, right? And this is a question we wanted to ask. What did you actually spend your course-related costs on? Great. We don't want to hear about spending it on books and a laptop. Because that's related.

Yeah, you losers can... We want the unrelated course costs that you spent the money on. It got harder, eh? I think they cracked down on it. Yeah, quite a bit. No, but they just deposited $1,000 into my account at the top of every year. I loved it. And you went to India.

And I went to India in my new dress. How'd you get to India for $1,000? No, I'd saved other money that contributed towards that. Yeah, right, okay. Okay, 0800-DARLS.M

is the number. You text us as well, 9696. What did you spend your course-related costs on that was not related to your course? Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley.

Play ZM. We want to know this morning what you spent your course-related costs on that weren't course-related. Like, not actually books. What did you spend them on? Like, Hayley went to India on a holiday. Must be nice.

I was learning over there, though. Were you? I was learning, yeah. Cara, what did you spend course-related costs on? Cara's gone. No, she's back. Thank God. I thought you'd died, Cara.

Oh, God. Cara, are you alive? Not that we're discriminating when it comes to the show. We'll have the undead. We'll have the undead on the show. Yeah, we will. And we're running to our undead listeners. A lot of radio shows are too scared to have the undead on the show because the undead often do have some opinions.

We're not afraid of that. Let's go to Sian. Sian, what did you spend course-related costs on? I spent them on a trip to the Ed Sheeran concert. Yes. Well spent. Now, can we justify this? What did you study?

I'm studying nursing. Yeah, well, music is therapy. Yeah, no, yeah. And you could have been there to treat someone in the crowd if they'd fallen over. There you go.

There you go. Just trying to justify that. Sian, thanks for your call. Stephen, what did you spend course-related costs on? Hey, good morning, guys. Long time listener. First time caller.

Get the bell, get the bell. Second for the morning. Second for the morning. Yes. Welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome. I bought a blower valve for my car and a razor scooter. Oh, my God.

Is that one of those things? A razor scooter. They're not even motorised. What did you need a razor scooter for if you had a car with a blow-off valve? A mate had a razor scooter and was doing tricks in the driveway and I thought,

I reckon I can do better tricks than that. Yeah, right. And save some ladies for the rest of us though. A blow-off valve and a razor scooter. You had me a blow-off valve. Stephen, thank you. A blow-off valve for a riser scooter. Woo! You had me at blow-off valve. Woo! Stephen, thank you. Keep your messages coming through.

9696, what did you spend your student loan course-related costs on? Someone said, as a lawyer, I'm terrified I'm about to hear a client admit to fraud, student loan fraud on the radio,

but hopefully that doesn't happen. Somebody else said, my mate built a drift car and then put a funded by StudyLink banner on the windscreen. Oh, you little shy. You little, little.

That's good. Blow off, Alv. All right, we'll get to more next. What you spent your course-related costs on that weren't course. Not at all related. Some great messages through. I spent my horse...

Horse-related on a saddle. No, course-related cost on a horse. So I spoil my jokes. I was going to say that. I guess you could say it was horse related costs. Oh, well we stuffed the whole set up. And then I sort of came in and ruined it as well. Do you want to start again?

And everybody listening can just pretend that you didn't stuff up your joke. Can you do a Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley again? Okay. See Dan, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, that was the song. We're talking about what you spent your course-related costs on. Oh, are we? Yeah. Or for people who own horses, horse-related costs.

But I was going to... Do you know what I mean? Like saddles and stuff. Somebody messaged in that they were studying engineering and they used their course related costs To buy a horse I guess you could say Oh so it's horse related costs

I guess you could say Horse related costs That was a really good joke Hayley Well I'm a comedian I'm on tour as a comedian right now So I'm firing off all cylinders See Hayley at a town or city near you soon You're not seeing Warnay with horse jokes

Horse related costs He's not coming up with any of them That's why he doesn't come up with jokes cylinders. See Hayley at a town or city near you soon. You're not seeing Vaughan, are you, with horse jokes? Horse-related costs. He's not coming up with any of them. That's why. He doesn't come up with jokes. Just read the texts and we'll do the jokes. Just got a horse-related costs. Yeah, it's good. Let it go. Yeah, you don't have to repeat my joke back, bro. Everyone heard it.

Horse-related. Come on, Vaughan. Hayley made this joke already. Read the texts, man. I've got more jokes. Yeah, come on. Come on, Vaughan. Hayley made this joke already. Read the text, man. I've got more jokes. The horse rhymes with course. Yeah. Come on, carry on. Please don't explain my joke. It stands for itself.

I spent my course-related costs on tickets to Snoop Dogg and Ice Cube and the Up and Smoke Tour in 2003. Money well spent. Money well spent. You were taking a historical event. Ice Cube. Man, cool. That would have been a great concert in 2003.

I used my last round of course to write a cost on a PS5. Technically speaking, I still haven't paid for it. Hashtag girl maths. Oh. Yeah. I mean, you've done that there. We were 16 and 17, but my daughter's dad and I spent them on Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Is that? It's nerd stuff, yeah-Gi-Oh cards. Is that...

It's nerd stuff, yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Is it Dragon Ball Z? No. But you know what? Thanks for trying. Is it Pokemon?

Thank you. It's no. Why are you hitting the E in Pokemon? It's Pokemon. Pokemon. It's not a Pokeball. No, you get a Pokemon adjacent. Because it's Pokeball, Pokemon. It's not a poke bowl. No, you get a Pokemon adjacent. Because it's poke bowl, Pokemon.

Too many big beans in a poke bowl. I don't want your big beans. A lot of big beans. Don't follow that with beans. Don't put too much rice in too many beans. Don't put big beans on top of weird cabbage and salad. Yeah, more meat. Yeah, more meat, please.

Somebody said, I spent my course-related costs on a machine that let me talk to other people and dashes and beeps. I guess you could say it was Morse-related costs. Don't, excuse me, there's one comedian on this show. Also, did that text even come in? No. I don't think it did. I think you made a text up.

Yeah. That's desperate, Vaughan. All that's coming across as quite desperate there, though. I spent all my course-related costs on condiments to be put on my food, mostly in liquid form. I guess you could say it was sauce-related costs. Sorry, Fletch, I've actually got the text machine open. I'm happy to do jokes and texts if Vaughan can't handle either.

Do a couple if you want. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, don't be mean to Vaughan, guys. He's big funny. That's the text that just came in. Sorry to Vaughan guys Who's big funny That's the text that just came in Sorry Vaughan Spent all my course related costs On strength or energy as an attribute

Of physical action or movement I guess you could say they were force related costs I think we're going to leave the show there For the week I think we'll leave the show for the week now. Friday James. I spent all my money on a yellow-flowered shrub of the pea family, the leaves of which are modified to form spines native to Western Europe

and North Africa but considered in New Zealand to be quite an invasive pest. Do you know that I'm... Gorse-related. Okay, that's good, that's good, that's good Okay, if you had to rate, review or marry Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley What one would it be? Okay, I would marry Hayley

I would have sex Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no It's only rate, review, marry Oh, okay No comment If I have sex with the podcast I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review, though.