ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 20th August 2024

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

GPS ProposalSilly Little Poll! How weird were you as a Kid?  Top 6: Other Reasons you're Tired  How badly did couples therapy go?  Hayley's Nemesis  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  . See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Sup homies? Let's try that. Not much. Are we doing a sup homies?

Yeah, I was just going to try a sup homies. You're in your long johns today. Yeah. Long johns. Got my long johns shirt on. Yeah. Yep. Your little PJs.

Yep. Ready to get some gold out of them there hills. Yes, I like it. Sure am ready, y'all. Top six coming up. Yeah, there's experts have revealed the eight main reasons you're tired. And I'll

have the six other reasons that you're tired. You're going to round it up to four? It's 14 reasons you're tired. You're tired. I slept terribly last night. 11.30? So all I had was 14 reasons you're tired. You're tired. Right. I slept terribly last night. 11.30. You didn't get to get till 11.30? Yeah. Buzzy brain.

I don't know why. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, I had all the best plans and intentions of going to bed very early, but then that hilarious Alan Carr is doing up an Italian villa. Oh. On the tally.

Oh, lovely. You are such a boomer. I know. It was one of those shows where it came on, and it was just on after whatever we were watching, Seven Sharp or whatever. And I was like, oh, God. Five minutes in, I was like,

what are they going to do with this house though? That's so cute that you sit down and watch TV. I know. And then in the ads, did some other stuff. Got all ready. Got my bag all sorted for today's work. Are your school bag all packed? Once I was in.

And next week's the final. So yeah, I'll be there. I see you're hooked. Okay. Your beard looks so good. Oh, thanks. I didn't notice it yesterday. He went to a beard place.

Oh. Went to a barber. That looks really good. He took a photo in. Did you? We talked about this last week when you were away. Oh my goodness. Asked for the Rachel. Yeah. And you got it. This, of course, was season photo of him. Did you? We talked about this last week when you were away. Oh, my goodness. Asked for the Rachel.

Yeah. And you got it. This, of course, was season two of Friends. Do you know who he took a photo of? Craig David. No. Remember? Yeah, I remember.

Who could forget? A little bit low on the cheek. Who could forget? Who was the photo of? Henry Cavill. Oh, yeah. And the gentleman, the unwar, the warfare, the ministry, gentleman, gentlemanly.

Oh, you look great. Sorry, everybody just noticed. Delayed, very delayed from you. It's nice. It's like getting a happy birthday the day after your birthday. It extends the birthday. Yeah, it does. Or four or five days later. Yeah. Silly little poll on the way. Do you regret turning your hobby

into a side hustle? Like making something you love a job. I sort of do that, yeah. And then slaving over it. The poll results coming up. And next on the show. Oh, beautiful thought. There was a man who went to a great ends.

A great ends? Put in some great effort for his proposal. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Great ends are great ends. Put in some great effort for his proposal. Elaborate proposals always take a bit of planning, don't they? And there was a gentleman in America who planned out what he thought was the perfect proposal. Okay. A road trip across America, big road trip, and the map, the GPS map, would spell out,

will you marry me? Now, it does look like it was written by someone using their non-dominant hand in the middle of a seizure, but at the end of the trip, it does say, will you marry me? And so he's, I mean, I don't want to say cheated, but where there's a gap between the letters, he has just turned off the GPS, right?

The mapping. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still, phenomenal effort. How many kilometres were driven? Oh, good question. Also, so weird because he's gone literally up

and then only just straight back down next to. It's a very good story because he, it doesn't say the total kilometres, but I mean, that's, I mean, America's ginormous. Yeah. So. That would be literally months and months in a car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the way he did it was he mapped it out so that it would, you know,

spell all this and then, yeah, took gaps in between and then he would, like, not have the GPS on. And the way he did it was because on some of them, it's not just a straight line. He's got to go down and up, down and up. And some of them he had to, like, go back. Like the capital I, he's gone along, then he's got to go back halfway, then down to finish the I, right? I bet his message was wild, like, why are we coming back along this road?

Why did we just turn down there in the first place? Very much so, Vaughan, because, one, he made all these excuses, being like, oh, God, I've left my bloody wallet. Like, if you see the size of this trip, how many times... And then she's going to get livid, why do you keep forgetting your bloody wallet? Or so much so that they got to the end of the trip, successfully having written out, will you marry me?

Only to realise, yeah, not compatible at all. And actually the road trip was enough to break them up after being stuck in this godforsaken car for months on end with this stupid, oh God, I've got to go back to this town. Also, yeah, you'd be going along roads and there might not be anything to see. Everyone said, I feel like any relationship

would fall apart with such an absurd trip, weeks of driving, and the constant excuses to backtrack would drive anyone insane. Yeah. Yeah. Nine out of 10 marriages would never survive that form of road trip.

So basically the only thing that this road trip revealed to him was that they were not compatible. He should have just gone for a cycle around the neighbourhood. What about some stones in the sand? Some stones? Oh, still do the GPS thing. I thought you said scone, like scones. I thought you said scones in the sand.

That's exactly what I said. He should bake up dozens and dozens and dozens of scones. Yeah. And then you should take them to the beach. Yeah. And then with the scones, filled with jam and cream. Of course. No, stones on the beach.

Easy. Dinner. Or just get a stick and write it in the... Yeah, there we go. Yeah. No. Months of planning. Months of execution.

And at the end, I couldn't wait to get out of the car and not be together anymore. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, silly, silly dad Silly little boy Silly little boy Silly little boy Silly little boy

Silly little boy I was distracted. Look at this. I've got it. What? Look at this. This guy, this is, do you guys know about this Instagram,

this Facebook group called The Dull Men's Club? Yes. And they post things that they try to tell their wives and their wives weren't interested. Yep. Look at this guy went to a dam in America.

Look how massive that dam is. And he's like, what's that right at the bottom? And it's someone on a right-on lawnmower at the bottom mowing the grass on the inside of the dam. And look how tiny it is. That's just a huge dam. Anyway, that's a massive dam. I love dams, though.

I do love dams. Oh, I should have sent you the video. I saw a video online of a dam collapsing. Oh. Oh, okay. A lot of water. But that's not good when a dam collapses. I like it when they drop things off dams.

Same. Like swift balls. They spin them and they whoosh. Yeah, it's good stuff. There's some sort of weird air thing, right? Do you regret today's Little Pole is not about dams, unfortunately. So Little Pole, do you regret turning your hobby into a side hustle? Well, that's what they say.

If you never want to work another day in your life, do something you love because you'll end up hating it. Have you said that right? I don't know if that's quite right. Yeah. Get a job you love and, boy, you'll hate it in six months. Turn your favorite thing into a job and you's quite right. Yeah. Get a job you love and boy, you'll hate it in six months. Turn your favourite thing into a job and you'll hate it. Yeah.

I sort of did this, I guess, by going to drama school. And then you're like, you've got to replace the hobby with something else. Yeah. Everyone needs a hobby. Do you guys have hobbies? Heaps. We were talking about this. My group of mates was talking about this at the weekend.

Our partners just don't have hobbies. I've got hobbies. Marching's a hobby. Playing piano's a hobby. Yeah. Shardie's just not a hobby person. Yeah, yeah. Lots of people don't have hobbies.

Yeah. Her hobbies would include watching Instagram reels and spending money. That's a hobby. It's a hobby. You're shopping. It's a terrible hobby. Passion's a passion. It's terrible for you.

Terrible hobby. Do you regret turning your hobby into a side hustle? 23% of people said yes. 77% said no. Okay. I love cleaning and it's now my business. I've turned my OCD diagnosis into a moneymaker. Oh, okay.

They love cleaning. They love cleaning. I wish I loved cleaning. I hate cleaning. I hate cleaning. But some people, they find it therapeutic, right? I'll get in the mood for cleaning and I wish I loved cleaning. I hate cleaning. I hate cleaning. But some people, they find it therapeutic, right? I'll get in the mood for cleaning and I'll do it right. Yep.

I can speak because she's not out of bed. Sade was out doing like the weekly shop or whatever and I started cleaning the aluminium frames of our windows. Oh, yeah. It's a horrible job. Yeah. Especially on double glazing because it's warmer on the inside. It grows like mould and yuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a horrible job. Yeah. Especially on double glazing because it's warmer on the inside. It grows like mold and yuck.

It's a yuck job. And she got home and I was like, guess what I'm doing? And she's like, what? And I said, cleaning the inside of the window. She's like, well, I've kind of already done that. And I was like, explain that to half a bag of absolutely filthy wipes. You did a shit job. Oh, yeah.

So when I clean, I'm cleaning. Yeah, right. She must have taken that well. She did it really well. I did that menstrual thing of when you just look around the house and then you storm into the room and I said to Aaron, we've got to clean this house. It's a big star in here.

I know that that's... You know when it just... You look around and suddenly you're like, oh, everything's a mess. Clutter. Yeah. But I don't want to do it. Not something you have to deal with, Fletch, but it's definitely a sign of menstruating or about to be.

Okay. You should come over to my place in 300 days when you get your next one. No, she's not cleaning it. She's telling you you need to clean it. Oh, okay. No, don't. No, you're not invited.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not cleaning it. Oh, right. She's just telling you this place is a mess. My demand is somehow it's all your fault and you should be sorting it out. Yeah, even though literally if you looked around and looked at what is the mess, it's all me.

Yeah. I'm not cleaning it. I'm menstruating. Isn't that enough? I'm here potentially creating life. Well, no. You're showing the signs of definitely not creating life. Tony says, I love baking and decorating cakes, but I'm also a people pleaser,

so I can't say no when people ask me to do a cake, even when I'm too busy. Yes. People don't put the value on the cake decorating friend. No. You've got to put some value there. Daryl, because it never became a fully fledged side hustle, made no sales and spent lots of money. So technically it never left being a hobby.

Oh, that sucks. Oh, yeah. Ryan said, I made money from doing it and I still love it. That's a win-win. He doesn't say what it is. I assume he's a male gigolo. I think so. The only thing males do.

Is that Juice? Is that his name? Yeah, Juice. Ryan Juice. Yeah. Ryan Juice Bigelow. Damesh says, has been one of the best things I've ever done. Got to meet so many people and share my skill in capturing moments with them.

But I want to keep it a side hustle. I think he takes photos. That sounds like photography. Yeah, it sounds like photography. We should get him to do a boudoir shoot with the three of us. Sexy. Yeah.

Yeah. Boudoir. Yeah, a bit of Vaseline on the lens. Yeah, Vaseline on the lens. Some linens. I don't think we put Vaseline on an expensive lens. I think we can do that in post. I know you put it.

I know, you're smearing it. You got a computer, do you, Flash Guy? Oh, yeah, wow. Should we sit down and add that book? I was going to take it to the light room. Is that what it's called? The red light room. Yeah.

Anonymous says, I used to love going to large group fitness classes. Anyway, I went on to become an instructor. When you want to go to a class, it's bloody good, but when you have to go to a class, it's a different story. You've nailed why you learn to resent a hobby because you get to do it at your own pace when you want to do it. Yeah.

You're not sticking to somebody else's schedule. Oh yeah. I was an artist who started selling my work and stopped enjoying it and stopped painting what it appealed to me instead of painting what I thought would sell. It sucked. I lost my enjoyment of it. Oh. Selling out to the man. Yeah man. You wouldn't see me

doing that. No way. At all. No way. Too much pressure when people start paying. Takes the enjoyment out of it, said Ashley. Yeah. That's a good call as well.

621. The CDC, the Centre for Disease Control. In America. In America. Are you sure it doesn't have a compact disc creator? I'll double check. Okay. But I think I'm right on this one.

Okay. They have released what they think is the average amount of sexual partners for men and women. And people are somewhat shooketh. Myself included. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Now, okay, this is out of America, so take it with a grain of salt. Maybe.

A bag of salt. Maybe take it with a mountain of salt. Okay. With an island of salt. Because, I don't know, maybe it's got something to do with the fact that they're a more Christian-based country. I don't know. So the CDC, which is the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention,

they do a survey. It's called the National Survey of Family Growth. They do many surveys. This is just one of them. And as part of it, one of the questions was the amount of sexual partners that adults have had in their lifetime. Here we go. Okay.

Women. 4.3. It. 4.3. It's a 3, it's a.3 where you just like, ah. I was a little dildo. In for a bit and then you're like, I'm tired. Yeah, I'm too drunk for that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God.

And men, 6.3. Now, these numbers have come out. Anyone was like, huh. It's because of the gays, eh? Interesting. What do you mean the it's because of the gays interesting what do you mean the gays are the gays giving us that two point bump

you think 6.3 you think the gays are rocking around with a 6.3 body count I don't think the gays are involved in this because this is a family het vibes eh

big hetero vibes hetero vibes because it's if it's about families and who'd they ask? The Middle American Christian Society? This is what I was like.

I'm trying to get to the bottom of who they ask because that does not stack up with research around the world, which in general sits men in general 15 plus. Yeah. That'd be around you guys. What? That'd be around you guys. What? That'd be around you guys, eh?

Like 15. I don't think so. If we're just going to say the number. But if you average it out you two together.

Oh, if we average it out. Well, that's not really fair that average it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think 12.9-ish. That's like you're

saying what's the average temperature between Dunedin, I'll be Dunedin, and Death Valley, California, which is fresh. Of course. You're saying, what's the average temperature between Dunedin, I'll be Dunedin, and Death Valley, California, which is fresh. Of course. You're saying, what's the average temperature? Dunedin's getting dragged up astronomically because of this.

You can't cook an egg on me. You bloody well could. You could. You absolutely could. Scramble anything on you. So, yeah, because people are going like, this is not it. Because they, you know, went on Reddit and everyone was like, especially women, 4.3.

What, and then what? We just get married, are we? So New Zealanders, in the World Population Review, New Zealanders have the third highest average number of sexual partners in the world with 13.2 throughout their lifetime. Of the 46 countries surveyed, we're only beaten by Turkey. So 13's cut. And Australia.

And they're dry lying. Really? Gosh. I would have thought the UK would have been up there. Don't we get it from them? Yeah, I don't know who we're blaming for being up there. Iceland are up there in the top five. Really? No, but everybody's

related. You've got to be careful. You've got to have the app, don't you, before you... Gene poll. Yeah. Unless they just bang at all the tourists. Does Iceland have a big tourism? I suppose so. It's one of Iceland, Japan and Africa.

I'd love to go to Iceland. It looks beautiful. Well, there you go. That's the number coming from America. Apparently. Now someone messaged in, is that per weekend? That's a question we also asked. Could be. The whole Death Valley over here is going in and doing it.

Oh, jeez. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Right. You're probably tired, but that's because it's 20 to 7. And you didn't get to bed till Eleven

Yeah And you've got to get up Well Experts have weighed in Why The eight main reasons You're tired And then I was like

I've got so many reasons I'm tired I bet I can do six more That only start with a K sound Yep With a K K sound

Wow That's how That's how I'm a bit of a Thesaurus When it comes to being tired. So the expert said not exercising is one of the main reasons, which is exactly why

on Sunday afternoon my kids will be like, I'm so tired. I'm like, you've done nothing. Get outside and do something. Your posture isn't correct. Apparently slouching's not good. Cuts off a bit of oxygen to the bod. Yeah, mine's bad. Gotta get the breathing and the blood and the oxygen around the body. Yeah, mine's bad. Got to get the breathing and the blood and the oxygen

around the body. Having pasta for lunch is another reason. You got a bit gluggy on the carbos midway through the day. Another one, you aren't having enough sex.

Releases all the hormones like prolactin and oxytocin and then it'll encourage restful sleep. Right. I think just playing with yourself

will do the same trick. March quicker. Less messy. Same umbrella playing with yourself will do the same trick. March quicker. Less messy. Same umbrella. Just get it done. Quicker. You don't have to worry about anybody else. Yeah.

Number one. Wham, bam, thank you, hand. That I like. I almost think we put it on one of our motivational horses for this calendar we're making. Wham, bam, thank you, hand. Wham, bam, thank you, hand. Wham, bam, thank you, hand. Love it.

Okay. Sitting down for long periods of time. Sitting like slouching bad for you. Drinking a fizzy drink every day. That's your full sugar. It boosts the sugar right up. And then, of course, there's a subsequent crash. And some caffeine sometimes.

You consume too much coffee. That's next on the list. Temporary energy boost, similar to fizzy drinks. Adrenaline fatigue, da, da, da, da. You aren't feeding your gut. No, that's next on the list. Temporary energy boost, similar to fizzy drinks. Adrenaline fatigue. You aren't feeding your gut. That's for Fletch. He loves the gut health. When's the last time you had some gut health foods?

Pickles? Yeah, I had a jar of pickles. That's not, no. They're not fermented. You've got to have fermented foods. Beer? No. That's fermented. She's got, they're pickled. You've got to have fermented foods. Beer? No. That's fermented.

She's got you there, actually. Checkmate. Got you. Dumb dumb. Checkmate. What a dumb dumb. Someday then. Gotcha.

So those are those reasons. I've got the top six other reasons you're tired. Number six on the list, and again, this list will only, because there's so many reasons to be tired, feature the k sound. Okay. Number six on the list, kids. Yeah.

You'll be tired if you've got kids. 100%. That's a fact. Running around. That's one of the most well-known things about having kids. Yeah, yeah. You get tired. You get tired.

Number five on the list, cats. Cats. I said last night before bed, is the cat out? And everyone said, yes. They were lying to me. Yeah. The cat wasn't locked in the laundry. Where are the cats out? It goes in the laundry because in the laundry it's got a cat door I can get

in so now it's got to go wheeze and poos and do some hunting. Unbelievable. And it's got a bed in the laundry. It's everything the cat needs. But someone lied to me. So at 2.30 this morning. I was like you've been in the hot water cupboard. You little shit. So he went outside. Tomorrow, tonight it shit. So he went outside.

Tonight, a bit more thorough checking. Number four on the list of the top six other reasons you're tired. So mean. Curtains. Your curtains aren't up to snuff. Oh, you've got to have good blackout. You've got to have blackout curtains. That's why I use the eye mask. Oh, my God, that's life changing.

But you still wake up before the sun. Yeah. Yeah. Like this morning. But you live in the, what? This morning I was early. But that was also the, what? This morning I was early. But that was also the cat. What time?

That was cat. Like 20 past four. Oh, that's just before you wake up. Yeah. The worst is like quarter past three. Oh, yeah. When you wake up and you look at your phone and you see three on the thing, you're like. Almost not worth it.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six other reasons you're tired. And conditioning of the air. Oh, yeah. You've left the air conditioning on. It's dried you out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six other reasons you're tired. Conditioning of the air. Oh, yeah. You've left the air conditioning on. It's dried you out. Oh, that's awful. Any form of air circulation.

I know it's good for the house to have the air circulating around, but... Yeah, it's dry. You wake up in the morning, you're like... Yeah. That's a bit mean this morning. Number two on the list of the top six other reasons you're tired. Again, a top six list consisting only of sounds. Certain death.

It starts with C. It doesn't have a C sound. No, that didn't have a C sound. Why did you make them all C sounds? I don't know. I just got kids, cats, and curtains. You're being silly. And then I was like, kids, cats, and curtains.

And I was like, I'm on a roll now. Certain death. Sometimes you just wake up and remember that one day you will die and then you can't get back to sleep. Well, everybody dies. I know. I think that keeps me awake. I don't even wake up. That's why I can't sleep. Oh you can't get back to sleep so you die. Well, everybody dies. I know. I think that keeps me awake. I don't even wake up.

That's why I can't sleep. Oh, you don't get to sleep. I don't want to die. Well, again, it's still a reason for you to die. But you will though. No, I won't.

Science will save me. You're going to be like those crazy like tech billionaires that are like, I don't want to age and then they... Just sink millions into it.

Yeah. Yeah. Your Viradex will keep you going though. How's that going? A week and a bit. This one time only it's not working. My dirt pills aren't working. My dirt pills.

They are working. I just have a very strong cold. I've got a man flu. Oh, the man flu. I think I've got a man flu. Did you get it from a man? I don't know where I got it from. Okay. All the boys got it from. Okay.

All the boys I was kissing. Yeah. Yeah, I was just out kissing all the boys. And number one on the list of the top six reasons you're tired, companions. The person that you share a bed with. They might be snoring. They might be a little bit booty. I've been in the spare room.

Have you? Because of the sniffles. Yeah. Because of the cold. I don't think I'm going to return. But anyway. I always love when you get sick and you get the bed to yourself. It's a sleep divorce, isn't it?

Yeah, you're like, one more night, one more night. Yeah, it works such a treat. That is today's top six. I don't even remember sitting, there was a long wait to get a driver's license when I got my driver's license. No, I remember. I remember you'd ring on the Monday and they'd be like, yeah, come on Thursday

or Wednesday or whatever. It's pretty close. I don't remember it being... Not cranking in Morrinsville? We used to... It was a... Yeah, we could do it in Morrinsville.

You'd go into... I don't even know if the building's still there. It was opposite the dairy factory and you'd leave from there. I didn't ask for all that information. They knew all the tricky spots. Take a lift up there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first one, if you came left, you'd start going up a hill and they'd be like, turn in here. But it was one of those, like, you've got to turn across traffic. And it was a hill as well, so you were on a slight hill, so they'd get you to stop there. And then you'd go, and kind of hill start and a turn. Oh, you're an Emmanuel.

No automatics then. I sat mine in an auto. Not a single automatic car on the world. No, you sat yours in a manual. You could drive an automatic, no questions asked. But there was that weird thing, if you did it in an automatic, you could only drive an automatic, right? That was, but not for your full licence.

That was your restricted. Well, now there are huge weights to do your driver's test all over the country. Some of these waits are insane. A man drove from Pukekohe to Dannyverk. That's so far. Not Dalgaville. Was he like five or six hours? People get those two confused all the time

because it's some of the only places in the country that start with a D-A. Between Hawke's Bay and the Waitarapa. It's the Viking place, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Dannyverk. When you pull under the name of Viking. Yeah. Settled by the Nordics. Yeah. It's got a great army right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Danny Burke. When you pull under the name of Viking. Yeah. Settled by the Nordics.

Yeah. It's got a great army surplus. Great army surplus store. Oh, because it's in the area. Are you sucking a lozenge? Maybe. So unprofessional. I might be sucking a lozenge.

Should we have a throat spray? Is this someone that is going to get their restricted or their full? Full. Okay, so they can drive by themselves. And are they doing it just... They would have had to have left in the morning and get there. Maybe suit it and get back. Quite smart to be back by the 10 o'clock curfew.

No, because once... Or you've got to count on parcel. Because then they'd have the full license. Because then you have your little paper version. You can drive back at any time. Oh, yeah, you can drive back at night. And was it only because it was busy or because you know, because Pukakoi is South Auckland,

you know that it's easier to sit them in those small towns? Because there's less traffic. But also you wouldn't be familiar with Danny Burke. Unless you're originally from there. No, I don't know. Everything's 50 kilometres. You'd just drive around the streets, right? You'd just have a little, like, 10 minutes.

But wouldn't it be better to sit at where you know the roads? Yeah, you'd think so. You know the way. You're not going to be like, where are we going? Because you're already familiar with the area. So what's the wait in Pukekohe like compared to... Months and months, apparently. Months!

Good on him. Now, apparently the long wait times are only getting longer because of this whole, now you don't have to pay to reset. Yeah, because I see why they did that because they were charging people every time they reset. Like producer Jared,

did you have to do it 12 times? Is that right? Three. Three. Three is not great. But every time you had to reset, you paid. Yeah.

So I can see why they got rid of that because they're like, well, it's kind of unfair that people pay. But now people aren't trying. So they just say, I'll just go again, I'll go again, I'll go again. Yeah, there's no pressure. And so they're clogging up the system. You're only allowed a single reset because they changed it again because of how long it was.

But due to the long waits and the fact that you still get one reset, they still think it'll be a while before it comes down. Oh, God. Maybe we should just get rid of it. Didn't they used to just send it to you back in the day? Well, after a certain amount of time. Yeah. Yeah, but this makes sure that people can drive.

This is why they do it. This is why boomers are such bad drivers. Because you never had to do a full... I mean, think about it this way. You see people driving on the road. They got their license somehow. I know. With someone sitting in the car while they drove.

I know. And you're like, how? How did you get worse from that point? What was the... Back in the day, it was test to get your learners. Yeah. Yeah. Are all questions and the scratches.

And then just time. Then it was just time to get your restricted A. Yeah. And then you could do something to reduce it. Yeah. And then you did a driver your restricted A. Yeah. And then you did a- You could do something to reduce it. Yeah, and then you did a driver for the full. And you could do a defensive driving course to cut that from like 18 months to nine.

So back in the day, you could go from no license to full license in one year. Yeah. Yeah. Not long enough. Good old days, eh? Yeah, man. Bloody good old days.

Fast and loose back in the day. But at 90s, I just showed you a photo of me in 1996. Oh my God. He was a heartbreaker. This is the name. It's on a parenting Reddit thread. The name of the post is,

My daughter is the weird kid. Now, this daughter's really young. Third grade. What's that? Like third year at school? That makes sense. Yeah, right.'s really young. Third grade. What's that? Like third year at school? That makes sense. Seven? Eight?

Yeah, right. So quite young. And she jumped on this parenting Reddit thread saying, oh my God, guys, I've just realised that my poor daughter is the weird kid. And she does come home being like, oh, I don't have that many friends. And her heart breaks for her and she's like she's sort of into weird witchy stuff and da da da da

anyway and everyone jumped on being like oh don't worry Helen my son just got into his goth phase or my kid's the weird kid my kid is seven and likes you know thinks he's a wizard yeah and I read this being like oh my god this was so my parents.

Because I mean, I've mentioned many times that I thought I was a teenage witch. I was a goth when I was 13 for many years. And then, but even earlier than that, I went to like witch school on a holiday program. What? There's a witch school holiday program? Yeah, it was like at this place in the hut called Arcadia.

That feels like nerdy witches. That doesn't feel like authentic witches. No, it was. That feels like the commercialisation of witches. No, it wasn't. It was these weird spiritual classes that me and my best friend Jess went to. How old? 10 maybe? 9, 10? Wait, and did your mum

let you go to this? Both of our mums got together and they were like, they're so into this stuff. We did four courses. Because it was allowed by just doing a quick math. That was a smack. You would have been allowed. Yeah, I was allowed

to get smacked. But one of them was about like reading auras and there was this weird girl called Genevieve who was like I see the girl in the corner.

It was bizarre. Anyway. I think Genevieve was just trying to get extra credit. Oh, Genevieve was such an attention seeker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where is she now? Yeah, you're telling me not everyone who was at witch school wasn't some form of attention seeker? I think about it all the time. Weirdest thing we ever did. But I was like, yeah, I was the weird kid for a bit. How much did this cost? I wouldn't have paid for it.

No, no. Get outside. Get outside, go for a bushwalk. Message Patsy. I know she's in Italy. But just say she'll be awake. Just be like, do you remember how much the witch holiday program was? I will. I know she's in Italy. But just say she'll be awake. Just be like, do you remember how much the witch holiday program was? I will.

I'll message her. Do you remember those? Sharon's just said through Massey University does a magic and witchcraft. Okay. Well, I was a child. A multidisciplinary study of magic and witchcraft in selected societies in different time periods. That might be more of a course. More of an observational situation.

Is that a filler course to get your degree? A couple of good credits there. A couple of credits. Point two at Arcadia in the heart. In the 90s. She must have been like so worried. I think for a little bit. And then when I was a goth,

I think she found it quite entertaining. Right. She was like, God, you're so weird. But it's the parents that worry too much and the kids are like, I like that. It's a fall of attention, right? The parents aren't paying enough attention. I'm going to be weird. But it's the parents that worry too much, and the kids are like, I like that. Yeah. It's a fall of attention, right?

The parents aren't paying enough attention. I'm going to be weird. That's what my parents did. They downplayed it. Yeah, totally. That's the way to do it. Yeah. If you get really entrenched against it, the kid's just like, I'm getting what I want out of this.

It's a bit of attention. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll just go deeper into it. It'd be hard to roll your eyes. And then before you know it, they're putting up posters about the vaccine. Yeah. So I'm just saying it's tread lightly.

Yeah. That's right. Well, this is what I wanted to ask because if maybe you were witchy and a bit gothy like I was and like this mum, you know, is worried about her little seven-year-old daughter. Wizard daughter.

How weird were you as a kid? Like maybe you just went through a really odd phase or really bizarre or you had your little imaginary friend or like mum, I don't even really remember them. Oh, it was led by my besties mum who was also a bit happy She was probably a lot of painkillers. She was a

real estate agent in the 90s. Oh yeah, painkillers. Some prescriptions. Horse tranquilizers. Yeah, she was the original K-hole. Real estate agents of the 90s. The OG K-hole. Where do you think the ketamine problem came from? Oh, God.

Anyway, I want to know, how weird were you as a kid? We want to know how weird you were as a kid. I love weird kids. I just think there's a lot going on in their little minds. And they, like, not know how to tell you, they don't know how to work it out. Oh, my God. This is because a mum posted about her goth kid.

A little goth girl. You know, you just mentioned you went to witch class at Arcadia. Somebody messaged in, they went to fairy class at Arcadia and learned how to be fairies. Dude. Arcadia. I feel like fairies aren't as weird as, like, witches. Fairies, you sort of know are mythical.

Well, you know you're not going to be a witch. One of the classes, I was trying to read objects, you know, like, with my mind. Of course you were. Like someone was holding up a card and you were trying to read. Yeah, you had to bring in an object that was weird. Callum, why were you the weird kid? I was the weird kid really just because I liked to eat spiders

and you know just kind of do really really really strange things like I'd have sleepovers and I was always the quiet kid that everybody thought was mute and for some reason I used to like get up in the middle of the night and just stand

in the corners of rooms Oh you're weird I was driving at Cal I'm weird. Oh, this is weird. What was driving it, Callum? Were you like, this is going to be funny if people wake up and see me in the corner of the room, or you just didn't know why you did these things? I think it was a bit of both. I think I really enjoyed just, you know,

putting the shits right at people. But I kind of also really enjoyed watching them just look at me like, what the hell is this creep doing? I mean, we all knew a kid like Callum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all knew the kid.

Callum, thank you. Laura, why were you the weird kid? My mom would come hang out with me at lunchtime because I didn't like getting sweaty, so I didn't like running around with the kids. So she would come hang out with me at lunchtime for months. Wait, that wouldn't have helped. Wait, that would have been weirder.

Previously, you were just the loner kid who sat at lunchtime, probably read a book or watched. Now you're the loner kid whose mum's coming to keep her company at school. Yes, that was it, yeah. And everyone was like, oh, that kid is weird. Her mum has to come hang out with her every day. But it was quite sweet of her. Oh, that's really nice.

It was sweet. So you just didn't like the feeling of getting sweetie? No, I didn't. So I didn't play any sports. I didn't like running around. I didn't like playing tag. And that's all the kids wanted to do. So mum had to come.

So mum had to come. Yeah. Yeah, mum had to spend. Mum had to come. Yeah, mum had to spend time with me. How long did this last? Months. Like months, months, months. Right. And it only stopped because one of the teachers were like,

okay, this is kind of hurting her, so you have to stop. Yeah. And I just wanted to hang out with her. Like throw you into it. Yeah. Rip off the band bandaid, mum. Are you sporty now, Laura? Do you like getting sweaty?

Uh, no. She's sweat adverse. Sweat adverse. Yeah, she doesn't like it. Yeah, Laura, thank you. Some messages in. Why were you the weird kid?

My friend and I used to go around burying road kills so I could go to heaven because we were told at church that unless you got a proper burial, you wouldn't go to heaven. So we were like, oh no, the possums and rabbits. So we'd go around full of maggots,

dig them a hole on the side of the road, pop them in. Oh gosh. I was a Pokemon trainer. I took my invisible Pokemon everywhere. I threw balls at things. Oh God. If I ever got bullied, I'd pull out my Pikachu. Someone said, we were the weird horse girls.

Long, unstyled brown hair, galloping around the playground, saddle club, everything. You wanted your horse girl. Yeah, they were. I was obsessed with Princess Diana as a seven-year-old girl. And I even got the short haircut. Wow. Hopefully in the 90s, that would have been cool. I had and grew plants.

Everyone thought it was really weird that a kid was so into it. But now they have houses full of plants. And I just had plants before they were cool. When I was a kid, I did forward rolls on the ground everywhere I went. I would just be like, whoop, whoop, whoop, forward roll, forward roll. That's not good. Not with the dog poo. Charlotte as a kid was obsessed with drawing feet.

Okay, okay. That's good, that's good. Some money to be made in feet. I ate worms and crickets in high school as a party trick. That's from Ali. I expected that being from a dude. Yeah, same. I loved the dentist, said Tammy.

I used to call the drill the helicopter and I'd ask mum, can we go back to the dentist? Maybe a bit of a sadomasochist. Yeah. Now they're into Spanx. Well, now there's a home for them. Yeah, there is. Well, now they have to pay thousands of dollars

to get the helicopter drill. Oh, yeah, that'll put you right off. That'll put you right off. Try to buy your own on Teemu and just do your own teeth drill. If that's your thing. Surely you cannot buy a dentist drill on Teemu. Are you kidding me?

Of course you can. Googling. If it's not on Teemu, it's on AliExpress. Yep, there is a best dental turbine unit for $1,600 US dollars with everything you need. Who's giving Teemu $1,000? Do you know what I mean? I'll give them $10 if it's free postage. I'll give them $10, man.

Wait, look at this thing. It's a whole set. It's a whole dental kit. I want that. Do not. I want it. I can start my own practice. You know I've always

wanted to be a dentist. Yeah, but I think you need to know what you're doing. Yeah, drill out the bad bits. Oh my God. My sister and her friend went through a phase when they were obsessed

with the Titanic. They made signs and stuck them on my mum's car saying justice for those who died on the Titanic, they made signs and stuck them on my mum's car saying justice for those who died on the Titanic. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Time Out, it's like kind of a famous

kind of entertainment publication worldwide. They have published their best cities for nightlife in the whole world. Okay. I want to know how many I've been to. New Zealand, not on the list. Courtney Place. Courtney Place.

Maybe like 10 years ago. 10, 15 years ago. Yeah. But no, nothing in New Zealand has made the timeout list of best nightlife cities in the world. Rio de Janeiro in Brazil has taken up the number one spot globally. It's the best place. Is this your first time doing a list? You don't start at number one.

You start at number 10 or number five. He's botched this. Oh, my God. How many did you say are on the list? I've only got a few. That's kind of the... This is a terrible job. It's been broken down regionally and then

the number one spot is Rio de Janeiro. Have you partied in Rio? I've been to Rio for a couple of nights but I'm not like a go out until like, you know, five in the morning. Vaughan, have you partied in Rio? I've never been. I've never been. Amazing city. I used to wear Rio,

the underwear brand, and I partied whilst wearing Rios. But that's the closest you've been to Rio. Correct. to wear Rio, the underwear brand, and I partied whilst wearing Rios. But that's the closest you've been to Rio. Correct. Yeah, well, scoring 90% with high ranking for affordability. So not only is it fun, it's cheap as well. If that's some of the criteria, Bangkok's got to be in there. Live music, dancehall, spontaneous outdoor samba parties.

Said time Out. The Philippine capital of Manila came in second place, emerging the most affordable city on the list for nightlife. We're looking for cheap drinks. I think this sounds a lot like cheap drinks. Berlin was the best in Europe for nightlife. I mean, that's like... I've never been to Berlin.

I've been, but, you know, they've got the 24-hour clubs. You know, those clubs you like. Those multiple stories. Yeah, multiple stories, techno parties. And yeah, it does have a 24-hour kind of party status. London was also popular. Lots of bars. On the list, yeah, lots of bars.

And top DJ picks were Barcelona and Spain, Hong Kong and Brisbane. Oh, yeah, I've had some good nights out in Hong Kong. Brisbane? Brisbane? Brisbane. Okay. And so Brisbane takes out Australia? Bangkok not on there? Kowloon Road?

No. Bangkok's not on there, no. I thought James Manila got it because of the folders. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. When I hit the clubs, I like it to be organised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a nice brown folder.

Some other kind of tip of the hats are Guadalajara in Mexico, the home of tequila. That was fourth on the list. Austin, Texas. Lagos in Nigeria and Rotterdam in the Netherlands. Right. Hungary, Budapest as well. Is it just me because I don't go out anymore?

But nightlife's not what it used to be. No, it's weird. I don't know where to go. That's the oldest thing I've ever said. Yeah, that's impressive. But do you know what? When I was of clubbing age, it was very clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You had the strap. Everybody knew. Everyone knew where to go. Even like your parents knew where to pick you up from. Yeah. If you were going to get a ride or I don't know. It just feels like it's not what it used to be. Yeah.

And that might also be the oldest thing I've said, although I say a range of things that age me significantly more than my number to age. Yeah. But it's not as what it was once upon a time, hey? Is that a fair thing to say? No, you don't just sort of like trawl from bar to bar to bar to bar to bar. I remember like pre-earthquake Christchurch. It's a different world.

Different world. These young bucks out there nowadays, they'll never know. They won't know? They'll never know what it was like. They'll never know. Shooters? A. They'll never know what it was like. They'll never know. Shooters. A filthy grumpy mole. They'll never know.

They'll never know going from the grumpy mole over the road to shooters. The diagonal across. They'll never know. They'll never know. Remember like this isn't working, let's go down to, what was that? One with like the stadium seating in it called? No. The Holy Grail?

Yeah. Some things are best left in the past. And in general that's a shooter. Looking back with nostalgia, but... Maybe it's a bit of that, yeah. Yeah. Edinburgh Fringe runs for the month of August. Lots of Kiwis over there at the moment.

Heaps of people. Mal Bracewell selling out shows. Laura Daniel, Joseph Moore selling out shows. Nick Sampson. Ray O'Leary's been doing great. Ray O'Leary's been doing great. Ray O'Leary's been doing great. Heaps of Kiwis. It's amazing to see.

And every year, well, the last 15 years of Edinburgh Fringe, they've awarded Joke of the Fringe, I guess, to the comedy section of it. It's the one-liner, right? Yeah, it's like the one sort of classic joke rather than like a big good yarn. So there's 15 sort of short lists and it works a big good yarn. So there's 15

sort of short lists and it works its way up to number one. I'm going to read a few of them because I really like these. I really think both of you are approaching lists

completely the wrong way. You just blathered out a whole lot of nightclubs before and all the Hayleys. I just, because I don't like, for me,

there's some that are from 10 to 15 that I like that I'm going to include, but I might skip some. We wouldn't need a whole 15 of them. So you think you're better at picking the top jokes than the agreed upon committee

of joke experts. Okay, I'm going to read the 13th funniest joke from Edinburgh Fringe this year. Perfect place to start. By comedian Lou Wall. Gay people are very bad at maths. We don't naturally multiply. That's good.

Probably more of one for the room, you know. These are all for the room. Maybe you had to be there. Probably the lead in. Yeah. Okay, here's... I like this one. What number? This is number 11.

Skip 12. I don't know who 12 was, but I'd take that personally. You're out. This is by comedian Sarah Keyworth. I'm an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are there, there. I like that. That's good. There, there.

I like this. Number 10, I'm skipping. Number nine, my partner told me... this is by Zoe Coombs. Ma, my partner told me that she'd never seen the film gaslight. I told her she definitely has. That's good. That's good.

I like that. Uh, I'm skipping. I, uh, I'm going to skip seven. Number six, my from Olaf falafel,

who has won the top prize in the past. Okay. My dad used to say to me, pints, gallons, litres, which I think speaks volumes. Now, I don't get the context of the joke, but I think it's really funny. But it's a measurement of volume. Yeah.

Pints, gallons, litres are a measurement of volume. No, I get the joke, but I was like, I wonder what it came on the back of. Oh, yeah. Okay, here's the top five. Number five from Mark Simmons. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton.

Well, he came up with the idea and I just ran with it. Okay, that's good. Really good. That's good. Arthur Smith, number four. I sailed through my driving test. That's why I failed it. I like that.

That's good. Okay, number three. These are the top jokes at Edinburgh Fringe. Yeah, they're all judged. They have judges that go and see all the comedy shows. Number three from Alex Kitson. Ate horse at a restaurant once. Wasn't great.

Starter was all right, but the main was dreadful. Okay, here's the top two that the judges chose. Alex Snook is number two. I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing. It's just one step forward, two steps back. It really made me laugh. And Mark Simmons, who, he's British, right?

He's been shortlisted three times before. Very funny. You'll recognise him. Ginger hair, beard, always around. Always on the paddle shows. He was voted joke of the fringe for 2024 I was going to sail around the globe

in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it that's great okay this is just classic jokes it's a good one it's good

told by themselves you'd say dad jokes all the ones you just said without the context without the story without the set up without the atmosphere big dad jokes it's often that way with the joke without the story without the set up without the atmosphere big dad jokes

it's often that way with the joke of the fringe is they're just classic jokes you can just take them out they're daddish they can stand alone they don't need context quick little one liners

I think they're really good this year really funny must mean a lot coming from you from you yeah I was going to say that from renowned respected New Zealand comedian who has only done

the number of fringe once 10 years ago, I'm sure they value my opinion. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Someone just messaged in saying that I'm mumbling this morning. I mumbled when I was giving the delivery of that last joke. I'm sorry, I mumble. She's got a bit of a cold. You're a bit snotty and clonked up.

She's not used to a cold lasting any more than a day. I shall articulate much clearer now. There was a woman. Now, she's American. She is the equivalent of a New Zealand size 10, which I will say is small. Okay. What would it be?

Sweetie patini. To convert it to small, medium, large? Small. Small. A 10 is small. Mediums are 12. Okay. Larges are 14-ish.

So you're a small. You are by definition small. Well, what am I? Huge. I think they call you a mama-jummer. A big mama-jummer. Yeah, a big mama-jummer. Right.

Like, you walk in and people go, ho! Like, ho! The shoulders on this woman. Yeah. That's what they say. As a woman, you're saying, eh? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In woman's clothing. I'd be a what would I be, though? In woman's clothing? Hard. Because you're not woman-shaped. You're not woman-shaped. Yeah, right. Okay. Because you'd be like a 14 across the top because you've not woman shaped. You're not woman shaped. Yeah, right, okay.

Because you'd be like a 14 across the top because you've got man shoulders. Yep. But then an itty bitty little snatched little waist. Yeah. Right. So then we're heading to 12. But then big calves. Yeah. Yeah, muscular calves.

So you probably couldn't rock into a 10 or a 12 in jeans because you've got 14. God, am I just going to have to go with a loose 16 maybe? Yeah, maybe. It's back in fashion. Do you know, what size is this? Is it 18? 18, yeah. Yeah, I love rocking a bit.

Like, I just, I size up. And I've got a nice oversized shirt. Yeah, love it. Anyway, so she's a size 10, quite small. She went shopping in Thailand.

Now, Oh, no. I have been shopping in Thailand. I once went with my friend Rachel and we were on holiday and we were around about the same size. And I would say at the time, probably the slimmest I've ever been. I was a size 10.

And we would walk into stores and the Thai shop assistants would be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like turn around essentially. Is this in a tourist area? Nothing for you. Bangkok! Like literally. Yeah, right. Okay. And this woman had the same thing. She went to a shopping mall in Bangkok.

She was like, hey, just like wanting to try this. Do you have it in a bigger size? Same thing. The woman said, no, no, no. But she sent her to a specific plus size mall. Size 10. She was like, okay, I get it. Thai people in general are smaller than me.

So I'll go to this plus size mall. Yep. Which is fine. She had no problem with that, except when she got there, here are the names of some of the shops in this mall. Love Calories. Oh my god! That's one shop.

I do love Calories. Love Calories with a little flower on the sign. I imagine it's not done like maliciously. No, it is. Have you met Thai people? You're fat. My father-in-law will get back from seeing his son and say to us,

I've noticed he has put on some weight. And he'll say to me, Vaughan, how have you put on weight? I love it. Sade's grandma used to, and Tyler, you go and see her and the girls, she'd hold by the wrist

and put her finger, her middle finger, and if her thumb could meet or couldn't meet, she'd be like, yeah. Wow. Give it a little smack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no. Tell you that was her way of telling you you're too fat. Okay, here's some more. So we've got love calories. Next door to loveories was Fit Fat.

Then there was a shop called Fat Boys Fat Girls. Oh, my God. I want to go to this mall. I want to shop at Fat Boys Fat Girls. Wasn't that that song? Fat Boys Fat Girls Superstar DJ. Here we go. Why not?

There was a store simply called Chubby. There was one called Big Girl. And my favourite is Fatty Fat Girl. Fatty Fat Girl. And this would only be like the size of clothing that you would find in New Zealand stores. Like the smaller end. Yeah.

Like not even, I can't imagine for like actually like globally considered plus size people, you're not even finding clothes at Fatty Fat Girl. Fatty Fat Girl. She had a good laugh though. She took it all in good humour. But then, so she shared this online and so many people were jumping in and being like,

oh my God, I know. It's like this everywhere. Listen, I've had this in Hong Kong. Like most Asian countries look at you and they're like, no, no, no, no. What do you think they're thinking when they're sewing all of these clothes in like all of these Asian countries look at you and they're like, no, no, no, no. What do you think they're thinking when they're sewing all of these clothes in like all of these Asian countries?

Yeah. Like an XXL. They're just making parachutes. Yeah. Holy. Fatty, fat girl, big size. I Googled Thailand plus size stores. Yeah.

Fatty, fat girl. Fatty, fat girl, big size. Fatty, fat girl, pink piggy shop. Oh, my God. No. Oh, my size. Fatty fat girl, pink piggy shop. Oh my God. No. Oh my God. Sugar lover. Moo moo as in not moo moo

as in ah moo moo. Moo moo as in two cow moos. Oh my God. Someone said they walked into a shop and the shopkeeper yelled at them, no, no, too big, too long. That was 10 years ago and her husband still shouts at him when she walks into a room. Too big, too long. That was 10 years ago and her husband still shouts it in

when she walks into her room. Too big, too long. Hey, look, I think couples therapy is a great thing. I have many friends that have used it and it's saved them and they use it all the time. But this story has made me laugh so much.

Well, and again, this is one of those if we don't laugh, we cry situations. 100%. Now, I don't even think they got to couples therapy. So this couple, right, they're in their 30s. They've been together for just over a year. Yep. And we were just discussing this off here. I wouldn't bother going to couples therapy with someone I'd only been with a year.

I'd just call it. Because it's expensive, right? It's expensive and that's still supposed to be the honeymoon period. Yeah. Like a year, two years. But then don't they say

it's better to go to relationship therapy early on in a relationship? Preventative. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Because then you're learning the good communication early on. The good skills and stuff.

And you're not trudging through years of crap. I reckon they were still thinking three years plus. Yeah, yeah and stuff. And you're not trudging through years of crap. I reckon they were still thinking three years plus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you. Anyway. Go early.

Oh, you mean like a year? Oh, no, hon. You break up with someone if you need to go to Gansong after a year. Yeah, this is a couple in America, they're 30. They're 30.

Yep. God, Americans love a bit of therapy, eh? Oh, they love therapy. They love it. So the woman, so they decided that they had some issues in their relationship.

They were going to go to therapy. Yeah. This has somehow ended in the woman being arrested for second degree assault, criminal vehicular operation, bodily harm, gross negligence, because... But it was still his fault.

100%. And if they got to the room, he'd be able to see that. The therapist would 100% agree with that. So they were in the car together heading to their first therapy session when they started fighting, which is great. Great way to arrive hot in the room. They were driving there and he was like,

I've just had enough of this. I'm just so sick of it. I don't even want to go to this session. She was like, fine. Pulls over the car. Get out of the car. He gets out of the car, goes across the road, and she runs him over.

She 100% just like hits him with the car. He was fine. He rolled across the windscreen over the hood of the vehicle, shattered the windscreen, and he cut his little elbow on his own. So he's all right. He's okay. And if he had been able to communicate better, she wouldn't have needed to have shocked him like this.

To run him over. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's psycho behaviour. Yeah, and she was like, I didn't try to hit him with the car. I was just pulling out, and he happened to be standing in front of her.

What is it? This is the problem. This idiot always stands on the road. Dumb things like this. Stuff like this. His fault. That's why we were going to counselling. It idiot always stands on the road. Dumb things like this. Stuff like this. As you can see, his fault. That's why we were going to counselling. It's all his fault.

Yeah. Now, we want to know how bad did couples counselling go? Maybe it was in the room. Maybe it was just before. Because we've already had a message in about someone. I would love to know if any counsellors ever given up. Like if any couple of counsellors just like, to be honest. This is not worth saving.

Yeah, this is tough. Do they actually? Yeah, there's that very famous relationship counsellor, Esther Perel, who writes books and does the podcast and stuff. And she talks about,

where is she from? I don't know. Oh yeah, I've heard her on a podcast. Every now and then she says, yeah, she's like, this relationship is not worth saving.

Like you are not good for each other and I do not see this changing. And so I recommend that you split. Imagine like a therapist saying that to you. Yeah. You'd be like, oh. Yeah. Fix it. No, I don't think there is much point.

I think you would be happier apart. Yeah. Oh, fix it. It's too much admin. Oh. Oh. Okay. Some text messages. Yeah, we're just getting some text it. It's too much admin. Oh. Oh. Okay. Some text messages.

Yeah, we're just going to send text messages. A couple have dribbled in. This is what we want to know. 0800 DALS at M. You can give us a call. You can text through 9696. How bad did the couples

counselling go? Maybe your partner at the time was like, well, this is all your fault. Oh, yeah. Absolutely turned on you. I mean, maybe, because I think that's everyone's worst fear, right? Is that you're

fighting as a two, and you get in there and then it's two against you. Yeah, absolutely. You've buddied up. Look at you, you've buddied up. You're not supposed to do this! You're going to be paid $200 bucks an hour to be neutral! We have an event. We have an event. We want to know

how badly couples... It's actually really healthy. It is actually very healthy. We want to know how badly couples It's actually really healthy It is actually very healthy We want to know how badly couples therapy went Because a couple was heading to Don't clap your hands A couple was heading to therapy They broke up on the way They broke up on the way

And then she may have knocked him gently With her car And he may have rolled over the hood Well she's saying that he was in the way When she was doing a Yui She was just trying to pull out Yeah exactly Who knows That'll go to court won't it have rolled over the hood. Well, she's saying that he was in the way when she was doing a Yui. She was just trying to pull out. Yeah, exactly. Who knows?

That'll go to court, won't it? Some juicy messages. I'm clapping with excitement. There was one that just came in and both of our jaws hit the floor. Yeah. Went to a couple of therapists, but ended up breaking up. Anyway, thousands of dollars later, a year later, my ex was dating the therapist. What? I was waiting for the therapist i was waiting for

it i was waiting for it my god are you allowed to do that there must be like a cool down period the year surely yeah whoa when it came to end your like career wouldn't it it would sit and certainly get around pretty quick i would imagine yeah when it came time to split the counseling bill afterwards my partner said well mean, this was all your fault, so you're paying the bill. We only lasted three more months. Oh, wow. Okay.

I'm not paying for this. I wasn't the problem. Yeah. You heard him. He said it was you. Yeah. We were booked in for some counselling and we said, look, we'll keep an eye out for signs.

Yeah. Whether or not this is doomed. We woke up on the morning of our first counselling session. The date was the 11th of September, 2001. Technically, it would have been the 12th of September, 2001 if you were in New Zealand when it happened. And we watched a horrendous world event take place and we're like, that's not good.

That doesn't forebode well and yeah, after one session of counselling, we were done. Quite a few people saying afterwards, after their couple's

counselling session, the counsellor's like, I actually think you'd benefit from individual sessions. And then we're there. One of the partners alone, they're like, you need to leave.

Really? They're not going to leave. Okay. You know, you see this sort of behavioural cycle. Or they're an narcissist or whatever, yeah. They'll just keep wheeling you back in. You need to be the one that's leaving. They're basically getting you alone to say it is their fault.

You were right. I had a counsellor. We went to couples counselling. They told us that we were exhausting and we were better apart. I'm sorry I'm paying you $300 an hour. I know, but it is exhausting. To be exhausted. Imagine that's like someone's opinion of you

and you're not even there like an hour. Yeah. You are exhausted. Your friends must have been dealing with it because these people would have been dinner party fighters. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they exhausted. We were better apart.

Broke up then and there and haven't spoken ever again. Wow. Best thing ever. My partner's ex was cheating and he caught her cheating. She suggested couples counselling. He went along with her. And then the couples counsellor suggested an open relationship. Well, that's worked in her favour.

Hasn't that? I feel like this was just a friend of hers that he hadn't met, dressed up as a therapist, and a flash, one of those Airbnbs, one of those minimalist Airbnbs that looks like a therapy office, that doesn't have signs because we find signs can put extra stress on the situation. I love that someone messaged in saying, I've been looking into it, actually, getting some counselling

with my husband, but I've decided I'm not going to pay $270 an hour for someone just to sit there and agree with me. Now, darling, not quite how it's always going to go. We went to marriage counselling on my ex. Went asked to describe what attracted him to me, me to him. Yeah. Listed things you'd use to describe a Toyota Corolla. Reliable, et cetera.

No rust. No rust, very important. They don't want rust. He then cancelled the next session because he had to go spraying and it was the only weather window that was going to work. Right. And the farm took precedence. Thus the X part of the relationship.

Went to couples therapy with two separate partners over different times. It was a catalyst at the ending of both relationships. I think we found the common denominator though. Hey! It's you. Went both times. Both ended. Hmm, what could be the problem here? Anyway,

on to the next. Partner. It could have just been two bad guys in a row. Or two bad partners. Could have been. I really wish we could read out the one that's below that, but it's a bit saucy. The counsellor was trying to write a list of household jobs and then, I can't, you know, I can't say it's too sexy for the article.

We went to a couple's councillor and we thought they were taking notes throughout the entire session on their iPad. My partner peeped the screen on the way out and saw that they were doing the New York Times mega crossword. To this day, our united hate for that counsellor has saved our marriage. That's nice. What if it was a ploy from the counsellor?

Oh, give you a united... Give you something to unite you. That's a lazy counsellor. That's rough. Yeah. It doesn't always work, does it? No, it certainly doesn't. Not according to this.

Couple's therapy didn't stop her infidelity, so the relationship couldn't be saved, but it was great for me to understand myself. Okay, this sounds like a success story in a way. Yeah, okay. If you come out to understand yourself a little bit better, I was always quick to apologize, even if I was wrong,

but would argue to the end of the days if I was right. No, sorry, I was quick to apologize if I was wrong, argue to the end of the days if I was right. Oh, no, sorry. I would, quick to apologise if I was wrong, argue to the end of the days if I was right. But I've learned that it's not black and white. Sometimes both can be right and both can be wrong. So you still benefited even though the relationship wasn't safe. Yeah. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Therapy. Somebody else slept with their counsellor too. Yeah. What? Pretty quickly. Pretty quickly after they said in the counselling session

they were getting a vibe. No, you weren't. Well, you know, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I suppose, yeah, where else are you going to find love? Do you reckon it's the same sort of person that's like, that counsellor's really into me. It's the same person that's like, that Lone Star restaurant employee was really into me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, women just want me full stop. Do women in hospitality all want me? No, they're just being nice to you Or on a sex magnet She was very keen to see if I looked good in the clothes Play ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley

Fact of the day Day, day, day, day We're doing national foods and drinks As today's is a drink That aren't from the country you think they are Today What was yesterday's again? Tempura Tempura

It wasn't Japanese. Portuguese. Portuguese. The Portuguese bought the practice of it. Tell you what, we're going to be hearing a bit more from those cheeky Portuguese. Oh, really? This is when you were a big conquering, colonialising kingdom, you tend to drag your stuff around to other parts of the world

and then leave them behind. And then there's the tempura. So we're going to be hearing more from them the world. And then leave them behind. And then there's the Tempura. So we're going to be hearing more from them. Okay. But today, Corona beer. Not Mexican? What? Made in Mexico, but a German beer.

German? It was Germans. The Germans. The Germans. That does not give off German beer vibe. The German brewers just took exactly the beer that they've been making over in Germany, the lager, and took it into Mexico as they saw a market there. Yeah.

And Corona was established. Yuck. Named after, yeah, not for me. Yuck beer. Not a fan. That's why we've got to put a lemon in it to try to hide out. Yuck it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lemon or a lime. A little bit of a, give it something. Give it anything. Give it a little bit of a taste. It got its name from the Cathedral of Our Lady Guadalupe in the city of Porto Vallarta because of Corocio wears a crown. Yeah.

And Corona is crown. And that's why, of course, it was a coronavirus because it looked like a crown. That's right. In the early days of COVID. Ah, that's right. It looked like it was wearing a crown. And then Corona was like,

oh, what did you do that for? I know. Sales went up. And this one reading about this, like the history of Corona. Yeah. When everyone was talking about the Corona virus in early 2020, apparently just hearing the word was enough.

Wow. For people to be like, oh, man, I'd kill for one of those. Yeah, true. In the zeitgeist, front of mind. Yeah. Makes you thirsty. Yep. For a little bit of laundry water.

With some lime in it. A little bit of diluted down urine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well hydrated. Yeah, but the beer equivalent of cordial when your mum was mixing it and she didn't want you using too much power. 100%. You're like, can I have a little bit more? No, that's got plenty in it. One teaspoon is what it says.

No, mum, it's one sachet per litre. No, no, one teaspoon. That's all you're going to get. So it went up. But yeah, apparently made by the original owners of the brewery and everything were Germans and the German brewers came in. And then after a little while it got sold to a more local company, but now it's owned by a Belgian beer brewing company. Oh.

Corona. But all the marketing is like, you know, a Mexican beer. It always says Cerveza on it, which is Mexican for bear, right? And it all looks very Mexican. But no, not. BS, we've been lied to. We've been lied to. It was German.

So today's our fact of the day is Corona is a German bear, technically. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Two o'clock appointment yesterday. Not convenient for anyone and it was in town, so I didn't go home. So I took the mickey a little bit and I parked up in a cafe for three hours and did some work. And did you buy like one scone? No, I bought two coffees and an omelette. Well, that's still not worth three hours of a table. It did that thing where it ticked past one and I thought,

should I get a glass of wine? Do you know it's a cafe that serves all day? But I didn't. You're being so healthy. I know. And they didn't really mind. It was a big place. It was fine.

Okay. So I sat at the back of this cafe. There's a long table, you know, like where lots of people can kind of share the table at the back. And I was there and it's a dog-friendly cafe, which I'm always up for. It's fun. Big dogs, little dogs.

Then there's cute dogs. Yeah. You're not a fan, Vaughn? You don't like dogs or cats? You don't need to take your dog there. You don't need to take your dog there. I've got dogs. I don't like taking them. The local beer spot at Elway is dog-friendly,

and the girls are always like, come and have the dogs. I'm like, oh, they'll be a pain in the ass. No, I love it when there's dogs there. Nah. This one. Other well-behaved dogs, fine. But cafe, no, because people are eating

pub different. Cafe, big no. Yeah, because people don't eat in pubs. Or they snack. But in cafes, you go in for the specific purpose of eating. It is weird having dogs and eggs, for sure. And sometimes they bark. Anyway, but there was a myriad of dogs there. I was actually enjoying

all the dogs. And then, at the end of my table, a little ratty Chihuahua turned up. I'm out. I'm done for the day. I don't want to talk about this. I grew up with a Chihuahua because my best friend got one when she was like 10 maybe. And then it only died not so long ago.

It was real old. Yeah, one of those. No, she wasn't 10. She must have been like in her teenagers. Who am I? one of those. No, she wasn't 10. She must have been in her teenagers. Who am I? A Chihuahua that needs to be

taken to a farm. Oh, they're so, yeah, they're not the best, are they? Although some people love them. They just adore them. Yeah, they absolutely love them and this was a cute

looking Chihuahua and then I was like, did that thing when I was like, you know we smile at the dogs. Hello, little. Hello. And I looked at it

and I was like, and then I went back to the dogs. Hello. And I looked at it. I was like, hmm. And then I went back to my laptop. I was doing my work. And then I looked. And then the owner had the chihuahua on the table? No. On the table?

No, you don't put a dog on or a cat. Dog friendly doesn't mean on the table. And just because it's a small dog doesn't mean that your dog's ass now belongs on the table. And she sort of had it like that. My cat can go on my table, but that's okay because it's my table. That's your business. If you want to eat off that cat arse table, that's fine.

And I'll have the same at my house. Yeah. If you want your cat scooting its worm's arse across the table, by all means, but that's your table and your private. I'll do what I want. Your cat, your table. I would never take my cat or a dog to a restaurant or a cafe and put it on the table. I know.

And for some reason, it just really irked me. And then the owners were like, there were two of them. One was the Chihuahua owner. Looked a bit like the Chihuahua. And then the other one was just a friend, right? And I was sort of looking at this dog like, a little bit, like, get your ass off the shared table. It's germ's going to crawl its way down to my end and i'm trying to have my lovely omelette so i did this thing and

i do it sometimes with kids and i do it sometimes with animals and i don't know why i do it but i try to mentally psych them out you know like sometimes you see a kid and like the normal thing to do would be like look at the kid and be like hi hi sometimes i'll just stare at it with like a really aggressive blank smile. Like what? Especially on a plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they were kicking your seat.

Yeah, yeah. And be like, if the parents or the owner aren't looking and I'm just like, and I'll just like pull like a weird aggressive face. Because in my head, I'm like, I wonder what this kid is making of me right now. I wonder what this dog is. It's so much bigger than them. Yeah. I'm going to crush that dog.

And usually we'll be like, oh, hello, little puppy. Oh my God, she's gorgeous. And I'm just there being like, hey, Essay, like, what you doing? What? You got into the chihuahuas from America? Yeah, he's Mexican. Yeah, yeah. Mexico, you imagined.

Yeah, and I started doing wide eyes at it. And it was, like, staring at me, like. And then its whole face transformed into, like. And then it was, like, looking away, like, oh, my God, what is this woman? And I just, like, psyched it out for, like, an hour. God, what is this woman? And I just like psyched it out for like an hour. You outfitted her. Yeah, I did. I outfitted this dog.

It was such weird behaviour from me. And did it like, did it settle down? Or like, well, was it yappy? No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. It was just on the table. It was just on the table. It shouldn't have been on the table.

And which I will say was probably not the dog's fault. Yeah. It was the owner's fault. But I didn't, I just, I mentally played with this chihuahua for honestly an hour and anytime it would look at me, I'd just give it this real attitude like, oof. You remember.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You try and come over here, mate. I'll cut you. Eventually they left. I think I went to the toilet and they came back and they were gone. Right. And then I saw, I did see the staff wiping the table, but I was like, it's not enough. I feel like I should have said.

Like burn the table. The staff should have said. I know. If I was working there, I'd be like, can we take the dog off the table, please? Yeah. This is a place of eating. I wonder if they left because they saw me psyching out the dog, which is a psychotic behaviour.

Imagine if the owners looked over and you were just like. I've been caught doing it to a kid, for sure. When they've turned around, I've been going to the kid like, hey little. And they're like, why are you looking at my kid like that? I'm like,

because I don't have to pander to its cuteness. Well, experts are worried because there's been a rise in basically people just ticking up travel. On the credit. On the credit.

Yeah, like getting loans or just, yeah. I mean, you can even afterpay flights and stuff now, right? Can you? Yeah. Oh, I thought they were tightening up. Is afterpay always four payments? Yeah, I mean, it's probably six. Yeah, or you can

get the special cards. Yeah, the Qs and the purple visas. Yeah, gyms and all those kind of things. But yeah, there's research suggesting that younger generations, your Gen Zs, your millennials, are going into debt all for the sake of fun and travel. Do you reckon they're just like, I'm young, I'm free, I'm wild, let's go, I'll deal with it later?

Well, they're also saying it's a bit of doom spending post-pandemic. You know, like we've had all that time. A little dopamine. Yeah, locked up and kind of confined that people are like, well, I don't know, the world could end next week. Why don't I just take up a holiday to Europe? What is debt? What exactly?

I'll die never having been to Mykonos. Going to Lindsay Lohan's washed up bar in Mykonos. Sort of existence. Would this ever have been? Would it have been worth it? I'm conflicted by this because I don't encourage I've

the only debt I only got debt once I got a mortgage. Like I never had debt because my dad owned a finance company. I've seen what debt can do to people.

Yeah. It's a terrible thing. First hand. You watch people's knees get caved in with bats. Yeah, yeah. I used to do it. You used to do it a game.

Yeah, yeah. That's my first job for my dad. Swung at the knees. Batman. Batman. Yeah. No, but like I first job for my dad. Batman. Batman. Yeah. No, but like,

I'm sort of conflicted because I, you know, I don't encourage people to have debt if they don't have the means to pay it off. But also, when you're young,

I sort of get the attitude of like, wow, I'm only young once and yeah. Yeah. Literally the saying the world could be all over tomorrow felt quite close

a few years ago. You know, we're all like, oh my God, are we ever going to see the world again? We're all locked in. We're all trapped. And then also, I guess you're looking at, and it's so hard to, like, for a lot of people to get houses now.

Yeah, I know. That was our thing, right? Gen Z's, you'd be like, well, what's the point? Yeah, what am I saving for? I'll just go to Europe. Oh, you should be saving your money. For what? Yeah.

Literally to see the world anyway. You might as well go where your knees don't hurt. So, yeah, there saving your money. For what? Yeah. Literally to see the world anyway. You might as well go where your knees don't hurt. So yeah, there's a bit of that, but yeah. Oh, well, I mean it's your money. It's your problem. Your money. Because they're doing that. I mean, it also comes down to responsible lending, doesn't it?

I mean, that's a whole thing. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you can only get a loan if you can pay it. I mean, well, yeah. Well, that's how it's supposed well yeah well that's how it's supposed to be but then you know I remember even getting a credit card and I was like what this is a big limit I can spend all of this

but that was how I played with my overdraft when I was a student oh yeah same I got a $500 one and then they were like you can go a bit more I was like could I now what are we talking $1500 no it's just mine now Oh, yeah, same. I got a $500 one. And then they were like, you got a bit more. I was like, good on you. What are we talking? $1,500.

Holy moly. No, it's just mine now. And then when do I pay this back? And then your balance is just net that. Taught you good maths, though. Like, say your overdraft limit is negative $500 and you've got $412. You know exactly how much you're paying. Oh, yeah.

You've got $88. I reckon my bank account as a young person taught me more about maths than doing maths at high school because you were constantly like, well, if I spend this now and I could transfer that, then I get paid this amount and that's how much I owe and then I could do this. And then I could go to Mykonos and have a delicious drinky poo. Someone just texted in, down finally I just maxed my credit card to pay

for a family Disney cruise in November kids are only young ones I did that last year that was pretty fun last year that was pretty fun you did the Disney cruise yeah

yeah that was pretty fun be careful be responsible didn't you say the cocktails you liked the cocktails yeah he did he liked the cocktails

he liked the cocktails it was just nice to get off the farm wasn't it Vaughn nah straight back to the farm. Yeah, yeah. He likes the farm. Which actually costs me more week to week than most holidays.

So, you know, what are we doing with all this money? Have you thought about just living on a Disney cruise? Oh, someone just texted. People are ticking up useless diplomas we're going to pay off and getting far less from them than if they were ticking up travel. Absolutely. It's all about how you look at it. Yeah.

How much was your? $48,000. But you can cry. No, it was $38,000. You can act and cry on demand. Yeah. She just thinks about how she spent $38,000 and it brings tears to her eyes every single time.

Oh my God, what have I done? Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that.

We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.