ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 20th February 2024

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Producer Jared went Walkies  Hayleys Sleep Shorts  Top 6: NZ Birthrate  The People's Jury!  Happy Birthday Vaughan!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. The 20th of February today. Happy birthday to you, everyone. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Thanks. 42. 42 years ago today, it was raining in the Waikato, and my dad had just secured the purchase of a silage feed wagon. That's what my mum told me last night. Oh, wow. So she tells me every...

The rain was very welcome. It had been a dry summer. Okay. And, yeah, dad had just got the feed wagon, which apparently now the Bonners have got, and they used to feed the grass they mow to their goats. This was most of the chat last night. Shout out to the Bonners. Right, okay. Shout out to the Bonners have got, and they used to feed the grass they mow to their goats. This was most of the chat last night. Shout out to the Bonners.

Right, okay. Shout out to the Bonners and their goats. That's fine. And then she had to birth you. Which apparently was a pleasure. Really? The biggest of the three Smiths. I thought you had the giant head that they had to tong it out.

No, no tonging out. Came straight out. I've always known my way around, have you? No, don't go there. I'm absolutely pleased to have you near the regions. Going in or going out. Or going in and out. Every woman listening that's ever given birth has...

I've probably left, I reckon. And fair enough, babes. We'll see you later. Mum will tell you I was the quickest, the easiest. You know, there's no wonder people aren't having babies. I don't know if pleasure would be the worst. Maybe comparative pleasure. Yeah, comparatively to the worst pain that a human can feel.

We talk about birth, but the birth rates in New Zealand are the lowest now since World War II. That segway smooth as shit! Someone tell. If that was concrete, you've just screed it. And then you've given it an acid wash and then you've given it a polish. You're pointing out the segways.

What makes it smooth is if you had just said, well, coming up in the top six. Yeah, well, I'm going to up the birth rate because it's lower. It's the lowest it's been since World War, before World War II. You know, the boom after World War II, the baby boomers, gave us just that patient, understanding, tolerant generation.

Non-racist. Non-racist. So open-minded. Yes. So woke. So clued up. Considering our people's situation isn't exactly as privileged as theirs. Yeah.

They are waving all the flags. They were the flag wavers, the first flag bearers. The birth rate's lower than it was pre-World War II. Yeah. Which is a worry, apparently. So I've got the top six ways to get sexy. Yesterday I was asked if I was contributing to the birth rate. Who asked you?

Oh, Hayley told me this before. I got asked if there was a baby in my tummy. Or was it the chilli scramble? I was a bit bloated yesterday. The chilli scramble sat with me for a while. This is someone who saw me, I think, on Bake Off and hasn't seen me in person for a bit. And I can only deduce that they thought

I look a bit heavyset in the Bake Off. What did you reply back to them? Did you say, yes, Pax is the father? We had a lot of downtime on that show. I actually haven't replied. I don't know what to say to that. Oh, it's a text. They know you're at a text level.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Who does that? Anyway, I've got the top six ways to get the New Zealand birth rate up, up, up. Okay. Coming up. Okay. Don't curse my womb with this. It's closed.

Next on the show. Well, Sydney, brace yourselves, Taylor Swift is impending. Well, she touched down yesterday, so her private jet. I believe Day After Tomorrow is the first show, the 22nd. Well, Sydney has made a loving tribute to welcome Taylor Swift. So Taylor Swift played in Melbourne to 288,000 people. Insane.

That. The videos, like the crowd. I know. Those aerial shots. MCG is huge. Ed Sheeran didn't do that many, eh? Because his stage was bigger. Suck it, Ed.

I think Taylor Swift sent a message to Ed Sheeran saying, hey, Ed, suck it, I believe. I'm just looking at what his stage was. They're friends, but at the same time, you'd be a bit pissed if your friend beat your record. So it says here, Ed Sheeran breaks own record at MCG.

110. But he didn't do three nights in a row. No. So she's gone more. He put more in the seats per night. Right. But he only did one night. She did three nights at 96,000. That's insane, isn't it?

Yeah. She's done good there. Well, she's making her way to Sydney. She has landed in Sydney Where she has a day I guess they pack into the theatre They pack into the theatre It's not like an independent theatre show Hayley Should we give you a keyboard out

Making sure it's plugged into the PA system That's right And then on the 22nd I believe Is her first show in Sydney First of three or four Anyway Sydney have pulled out all the stops And one artist has decided in Surrey Hills to give her a loving tribute in the shape of a mural.

Oh, okay. A beautiful mural. Now, I looked up some Taylor Swift murals because there's a lot around the world, as you can imagine. We've got the Top Twins. And Huntley. And Huntley. Yeah.

We've got a few murals. We've got the Warriors on the Western Motorway. Yeah, we do. It's our year. It's our year, but our year But that's been on Since last year Yeah and they only Painted people on

Who I believe They were on a Multiple year contract With the Warriors That's right That's clever thinking Now I found this one here Which is

I actually don't even Know where it is But look at that That's incredible Almost It's black and white That's actually... What's in it?

Multiple Sydney murals. No, this one's not in Sydney. I was just looking up one to compare it. Oh, right. Because I want to show you the Sydney one. So that's, I mean, for the listener, it's beautiful. Almost looks like a photograph. Like it's airbrushed.

Yeah. Yeah, really, really well done. Here's the new Sydney one. Oh. It's grungy. That's a madam tussauds i don't hate it though i don't hate it but but her eyes so her eyes are like on the top eighth of her head okay it's a little bit taking up 80 of it um She's got a massive crooked bum chin, which I don't believe Taylor Swift sports. And quite far apart eyes in that too. Really stretched apart in the eye department here.

And everyone said that she looks like a maths bride or a little bit like Donald Trump. And there's no, no one's said the artist. No, the artist hasn't left a signature. Oh, right, okay. I wonder if they finished it and thought, I won't pop my name on that. You know what I mean?

When you're just like, oh, look, it's art. I'll just walk away. It's easier than covering it up. Yeah, exactly. So that's waiting for her on Crown Street in Surrey Hills for her to go and absorb and take in. Have you guys ever had a mural of you painted? God, no.

As two beloved broadcasting professionals. No, no, no, no, no, no. Had our beloved boys Fletch and Vaughn. No, no, no, no. Surely. We had one of those, you know those guys that do the caricatures? Yeah. That was fun.

Yeah. Have you ever had one of those done? I've had one before. It really highlighted the flick at the end of my snout. Yeah, because they always pick a thing. Yeah. They're like, what do I accentuate? And I was with my Lebanese friend,

so I had a nose that went flick at the end in a ginormous way. And my friend who's Lebanese, who doesn't have a problem. I don't think her sexuality's got anything to do with her. Nothing at all. No, from Lebanon. You can't just say someone's a lesbian. No, no, but they gave her this big hook, sort of Middle Eastern nose,

and she was like, right. But she didn't have the nose. No, I mean, she has a slightly Lebanese-looking face, but not a big honking hook. I wonder if anyone has cried when they've seen what... Oh, 100%. Oh, because you would be terrible. The guy that got one done with his partner,

and she looked fine, but her teeth, he was like, your teeth are going to be the big thing. So he drew big teeth, and she was like, ripped it up. He got a photo of it before she ripped it up, but burst into tears. I don't know what, because I know that they pick a feature, right, to really make it obscure. Looking at you guys, so handsome.

Thank you, yeah. And stunning men. There's no, like, I guess the beard. Yeah, I think when the character did the beard. Yeah. I can't pick you apart. That's massive. Oh, that showed the tip of the...

Would you have, producer Jared, you had producer jared you had this did you have this uh yeah on a overseas holiday my ex and i got a caricature done and i thought i looked cool yeah yeah dude you look a bit cooler than girls and caricatures yeah i was like i vibe it i see what you're going for he gave me a massive forehead and all that kind of stuff yeah i've given you given you a massive foray? I had longer hair at the time, so I had, like, kind of receding, yeah. Yeah, okay. But he made her look like a bitch. And famously, women, we take that so well. Yeah, and she didn't like it at all?

Nah, she hated it. She wouldn't take it home, so I still have it, and she wouldn't, like, let me put it up in my room or anything. Oh, look. Good stuff. You still have it, even though you've broken up with her? Yeah, yeah, still have it and she wouldn't let me put it up in my room or anything. Oh, look. You still have it even though you've broken up with her? Yeah, yeah, still got it. You could cut her out. I got my mum to Photoshop her out so I could post it on stuff.

Oh, my God. Now, while Jared's here, we need to chat about Jared's health. Well, let's talk to Jared as much as we can because the poor boy might die this week. Make the most of him while we've got him. Jared thinks let's talk to Jared as much as we can because the poor boy might die this week. Make the most of him while we've got him. Yeah. He thinks he's going to die. Let's juice him for what he's worth.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We go to the producer's booth where you've been prioritising sleep, it's fair to say, this year, Fletch. I have. Oh, my God. It's paid off. Producer Jared has been doing daily walks. Oh, okay.

Sticking to the daily walk. Seeing the world, making some observations. How much do you do? What's your daily walk goal? Do you have a set amount or do you just go around the block a few times? Just around the block a few times. I like to stay out like 45 to an hour. Okay. Just get moving. Just get moving, you know.

Get the lungs pumping and the legs breathing. Hit the vape? Hit the vape a few times? Yeah, yeah, got to freshen up. You do? Got to freshen up. Do you do like a vape every second power pole or something? You know how you'd be able to do that where they sprint between power poles

and then walk between the next one? Do you just like vape, vape, vape, vape, vape? Yeah, that's called interval vape training. Interval vape training. IVT. Yeah. I'm trying to re-adopt my cigarette habit, but turn it into vape.

So instead of just vaping, vaping, vaping, vaping, vaping, it's vape for an extended period of time, stop for an hour. Oh, wow. So you're vaping like you're cigarette-ed. Yeah, yeah. Not right. What have you read a doctor's report or something? No, no, no.

This year I'm trying to taper off the vape entirely. Okay. Taper the vape. Taper the vape. Taper the vape. Taper the vape. I like that. Okay.

So, yeah, went on a walk yesterday and walked past a house demo, which is always cool. Because they're like breaking stuff and there's like dust flying in your face and you're like . And the cool thing about it is it's about to be 18 townhouses. Oh my God, yeah, that's so good. That's so cool. On like 300 square meters. Yeah. dust flying in your face and you're like and the cool thing about it is it's about to be 18 townhouses oh my god yeah that's so good that's so cool on like 300 square meters

yeah right between two other townhouses yeah good stuff the neighbours can like put their hands out the window and hold hands

yeah scream at each other and hear everything that's happening yeah yeah good stuff so I walk past little chain link fence with some like

meshy stuff on it I was like, cool. Breathing in all this dust, carried on, finished my hour, turned around. Walked past the house again, this time from another angle, and I noticed a sign that I hadn't noticed before because all the dust was in my face. Yeah. Asbestos removal in progress.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you famously, you shouldn't inhale that, Derek. No, no. So, yeah, that's pretty cool. Do they have sprinklers going? Because there's a whole lot of things they're supposed to do, sprinklers't inhale that, Derek. No. So, yeah, that's pretty cool. Do they have sprinklers going? Because there's a whole lot of things they're supposed to do. Sprinklers to keep the dust down. I didn't notice any.

No sprinklers. But there was some mesh on the fence, so I wasn't like up against it. Your mesh ain't going to stop asbestos. No, famously. That's for sure. It's very small fibres that get into your lungs. Right. So you're worried about asbestos, but you're still vaping.

I don't see the relevance. In my argument, you don't see my argument there. But he wasn't vaping and asbestosing at the same time. Oh, because that would be... Because that would really suck it right in through the vape. Yeah, because I'd vaped for five minutes an hour previously, so then I asbestosed for five minutes. I wonder if the popcorn lung sort of coating of vape juice might protect you from the asbestos for five minutes I wonder if the popcorn lung sort of coating of

vape juice might protect you from the asbestos are we saying that asbestos would be like extra butter on the popcorn of my lunch it'll be the crumb on the bar in fact me some you walk past I would block your nose and put your vape in your mouth and only vape like a a gas mask. Yeah, like a gas mask. I don't know if that... No, I don't think we should be saying that. Are you a doctor? No. Are you a doctor, Fletch? No, I'm not. Then don't poo-poo the medical advice coming from Vaughan on his day of birth. A couple of non-doctors here chucking out a couple of

different opinions. No bad ideas in a brainstorm. I reckon you'll be alright. I reckon you'll be alright. And if that doesn't get you, it'll be alright I reckon you'll be alright Yep Jared And if that doesn't get you It'll be the The morning energy drinks

Oh we don't We don't They're alright You could vape those You can actually I did see an energy drink Flavoured vape juice Could you seriously

It would 100% be Red Bull vape It might be called like I've vaped it You've vaped it Yeah my old vape When I used to vape when I was younger. You vaped?

Yeah, back in the day. What do you mean when you were younger? Hasn't it only been around for a little bit? Nah, I had an ex-boyfriend and, yeah, I had an energy drink flavour. Oh. I want to say it. Grow up, Shannon. Well, I have.

I don't vape anymore. Yeah, dude, there is this Red Bull juice. That is a cracker. Well, I'm sure you'll be fine, I have. I don't vape anymore. Yeah, dude, there is. There's Red Bull juice. That is a cracker. Well, I'm sure you'll be fine, producer Jerry. Good luck. Good work doing your walks, your hot girl walk. Thank you. And can we just thank you for your service over the last, you know,

however long you've been here before I was here. Just in case the asbestos gets you in the car. What was that? What was that? He's caught my asbestos. You've caught his asbestos. What a bit of asbestos. Is it contagious?

It is now. It's because you keep vaping that Malteser flavour. He can't put it down. It's the Maltesers without the calories. That's how he's saying it. So smell. I've never vaped, but if there was a Malteser vape, they might get me.

I'm sure there is. That or a mince and cheese. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or a sausage roll vape. As we know, there's been a massive resurgence of Y2K fashion, right? Like everyone's wearing the low jeans and the Ed Hardys. Ooh, no one's going to. Ed Hardy was a later piece.

Emotional. Ed Hardy was a later piece to me. That's more mid-2000s. Nah, it was around when I was at high school. Yeah, I mean like early 2000s to mid-2000s. Nah, it was around when I was at high school. Yeah, I mean like early 2000s to mid-2000s. We're doing sequin t-shirts now. Yeah, dude. Yeah, my dude.

Ed Hardy sucked the first time around. I know. Let's not do it again. Do you know what I watched the other day? Do you remember Rock of Love? Where Brett Michaels from Poison, it was a dating show. And they all wore.

That 2000s phrase of MTV, everybody had a dating show. Shot of Love was Tequila. Tequila. Tequila. Yeah. And he had one. And I watched it the other day with my friend Shari. And they all had.

What made you delve into arguably the worst of the celebrity dating shows? I don't know. She just had it on. She's like, I'm watching Rock of Love. And they were all wearing the Ed Hardy crops with the sequins and the skulls and the roses and the low-rise jeans. I'm like, I'm sure you've shaved the top half of your pubes off. Do you know what I mean?

To wear those jeans, we've just done a little top shave. Once you've done the top, you might as well do the walk. No, you just only need the top. That's what's poking out. Now, it's fine. I get it. Fashion comes around in circles. I'm not jumping on the Y2K. You can. I'm

drawing the line here because apparently capris are back. Now, capris are the length of short that finishes just under the knee. Here's your capris. No, no, no. Your pedal pushes. No, no, no. You remember them well, your pedal pushes.

Yeah, mums. Oh, God's sake. Mums were wearing those a lot more. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely a mum pant more, isn't it? I think SNL, Saturday Night Live, has done like sketch comedy about how ugly capris are,

but they are back. Balenciaga's got them, and you know what Balenciaga's like they bloody, they call the trends, they've got, they're at Urban Outfitters they're at Free People they're at Lululemon's

got Capri's happening they're everywhere Capriza back. But it's a no from you? It's a hard no as the resident passionate fashionite yeah

it's a no from me I thought Vaughan was our passionate I'll not be Capri-ing resident fashionista no

no I think that's me I'm not sure right I'm not sure also because I'm larger in thigh than I am in bottom half

it's not a great length to cut me off at the knee You know you've got to like keep going a little bit You've got to elongate Otherwise it just sort of goes like that Right Fletch I feel you're the show capri wearer You think I could pull off some capris You can pull off the capris

Okay Because they'd tuck in there and then the calf would pop out. Yeah, right. The calves. Really pop the calf. Really pop the calf. I don't think guys wear capris, do they? Oh, there's your capri would be more of a sport capri,

a Kathmandu capri. Yuck, no. What you got there is some limp biscuit pants. Why are they making outdoor capris? Why? Those are not. Wait a minute, you got some dungarees on the end there? I'm keen. No. Are those dungarees? No, they're not. They're making outdoor capris. Why? Those are not. Wait a minute, you've got some dungarees on the end there. I'm keen.

No. Are those dungarees? No, they're not. They're like cotton. Cotton. I've withdrawn my enthusiasm for the pantless. Now, this fellow, I could rock up. No, but see, those are three quarter.

Yeah, they're three quarter. He's just put those up. Those look more like those rad pants you get in Southeast Asia when you're there. Yeah, exactly. God, those are good. Or elephant pants. A soft cotton. Fisherman pants, we call them. Fisherman pants. God, those are good. Or elephant pants. Or soft cotton. Fisherman pants, we call them.

Fisherman pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fisherman pants. And every Southeast Asian country has a slightly different take on the fisherman pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The harem, the wraparound, the Japanese have them too. So comfortable. And you don't wear undies underneath because it's hot, it's humid.

What, you're just schlonging around? Yeah, you need some shoes. No, you need to be schlonging around underneath. You don't know when you're going to be down-trailed accidentally. Yeah, exactly. At a full moon party. Especially in a loose pant and a pantaloon. Penises are encouraged.

You don't want to be running for a train or a bus in South East Asia. You'd be flopping that everywhere. Yeah, your harem pants come down. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the self-driving ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Akioda. Good morning.

New Zealand's birth rate has fallen to the lowest since World War II. What's the rate? Have you got some numbers for us, Hon? There were 56,955 live births in 2023 and 37,884 deaths registered. So that means there were 19,000 more births than deaths. Our immigration numbers are very high, though. Didn't we have a record number of immigration last year? In 1943, there were 17,562 more births than deaths.

So it's the lowest it's been since, just before the, well, I'm not going to say mid-war, because I'm back on that World War II shift. But, you know, in the last half of the war, our birth rate was almost as low as it is,

no, no, it's almost as low now as it was then, in the middle of a war. Well, I've got the top six ways to get that birth rate. Back up, baby. Why do you want it up? Why?

We need it. They're going to have to pay for your retirement. All the people that are born like now, when they get older, they work. With their tax.

With their tax. Yeah. Right. We are also about to hit. The bell of our population is about to start getting quite old. Yeah. The biggest part of our population. We're aging up.

The bell curve is moving. Less of a bell, more of a big hump. But why do you want to have kids now? People can't even afford groceries. Excuse me! The top six we'll be dealing with. How to make it. You can do a top six tomorrow. Reason's not to have a now people can't even afford groceries excuse me the top six we'll be dealing with how to make it you can do a top six tomorrow

reasons not to have a kid okay top six ways to get more babies made number six on the list everyone with babies stop talking about how hard it is

you're putting people off you are why don't you whack on a smile and a bit of under eye concealer yeah and then just

tell me how joyful it is it is so good we've got a little angel on our hands even though at home it God, tell me how joyful it is. It is so good. We've got a little angel on our hands. Even though at home it's like... Tell us how much sleep you had last night. Yeah.

Oh my God, I'm just loving it. I feel so fulfilled. Number five on the list of the top six ways to get more babies made. More parental leave. Not for cats. Don't get me started. It's not fraternal leave. Do you think people just want a holiday?

Get a bit of time off with that baby. And then... Put your feet up. A couple of months, I'll ditch it with Nana and Grandad and let him hark off the beach for a few weeks. Yeah, use that paid maternity leave. Go to Bali. Go to Bali.

I've always thought, like, if I work... If I move somewhere to, like, somewhere, like, another country and they did paid maternity... Like, could you just fake having a wife that was pregnant? Like, how do they know? And then I'd just go to Bali or something. Yeah. Like, do you have to show

them the baby? Do you have to show them your pregnant wife? Like, you just wire on about it at the office. You just be like, oh, Sue's pregnant. Oh, congratulations. I've never met Sue, but congratulations. You're like, oh, yeah, we're really excited. Parental leave fraud cases NZ. Sad that you're moving to Bali, but you've still got an office job.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I'm working that year because, yeah. Experiences of those who take parental leave with the, oh, no, that's within the public centre of Ghana. I reckon you can do it. There's apps on any immediate

Google. Weird fraud to commit. It's not that much money. Oh, right. Yeah, but it's better than kicking the teeth, isn't it? She's right.

You'd better just save up your holidays and take them because you're paid the full amount while you're on holidays. I've been kicked in the teeth and that's pretty bad.

That would be much more enjoyable. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get more babies made. Stop making it feel like the world's going to end. So I don't know if you're listening. Russia, Israel, everywhere else. The climate. The polar ice caps could stop melting.

That'd be great. Polar bears, if they could cheer up a bit. Give us a smile. Stop being so miserable and skinny. Miss, yeah. Skinny doesn't look good on you. The rest of us wouldn't be skinny, not you. You're supposed to be fat. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get more babies made.

How about people just be a bit sexier? That always puts people in the mood for sex, and sex is how you make babies. Is it? Oh, knock that on the head. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get more babies made. Just make baby stuff cheaper.

It's very expensive to have babies. Can't you just put babies in like some cheap glasses tops and stuff and just put a belt around to make it tight? That's accessorising.

Yeah, that's accessorising. I like that. I can grow into it. And number one on the list of the top six ways to get more babies made. Less bum stuff. Too much bum stuff.

We have been mucking around with the bum for a bit. Everyone's mucking around with the bum. Oh, God, you're sounding like my church pastor now. Less bum stuff. Oh, God, you're square. You gays. And Gen Zers. Are they doing?

I don't want to ask, but I want to ask. You're so square, Vaughn. Less bum stuff. That's today's Top 6. And just a reminder that it's Vaughn's birthday. If you've just joined us, we're celebrating Vaughn's birthday today. Hi, happy birthday to me. Hi, happy birthday to you.

We have a little treat for you later. We have a little treat for you later. It's a lap dance from Fletch. Hot. Now, it's... treat for you later. We'll do a little treat for you later. It's a lap dance from Fletch. Hot. Mmm. Now, it's,

um, straight to, I'm putting that in the HR journal, actually. Oh my God, that thing's been dormant for a while. We've been very well behaved.

Um, it's quite, it's quite a warm, lovely summer in Auckland where I abode and, um,

warm, lovely summer everywhere. Is it? Yeah. I don't know. I'm not in Christchurch. I don't have my finger on the pulse of Christch summer everywhere. Is it? Yeah. I don't know. I'm not in Christchurch. I don't have my finger on the pulse of Christchurch weather. Here it's lovely. It's been famously warm and windy

in Christchurch. That's the terrible terrible fires they've been having. Love and regards to the firefighters and all the emergency responders in the area. They're doing a fantastic job. They are indeed. I don't know who gets to fly that helicopter that dumps the water but you are indeed. I don't know who gets to fly that helicopter that dumps the water, but you are sexy. I don't even know what you look like.

It's giving sexy. On the news last night he flew in and just before the hill he was like arc, dump, arc the helicopter, dump the water, down the valley and I was just like ooh ooh, do it again. Dump me with water.

And then arc away down my belly. Arc. Anyway. That was sexy as a, yeah. Tip of the hat. And we tip our hat to you. Now, I have been basically living with the doors open, which means in our house, flies, flies, flies.

And we let the house kind of get a bit messy the other day and I hadn't like vacuumed for a few days. And I was like, I need a vacuum. Grubby bitch. I know. And I'm borrowing your vacuum. Oh, yes, you are too. Yeah, I know.

So I was like, I'll vacuum up all these corpses of flies. Fly corpse. And they're all on the window. I was like, oh my God, I can't keep on top of them. What fly spray are you using? I want some cheap jewel ones from Cracker Jack. You know we love a Cracker Jack. But it doesn't have the toxicity to kill

the flies. I feel like sometimes the flies are like, but they don't immediately die. But then we got some black flag yesterday and that was dropping the big blow flies. We've got a more tame dispenser, which is why the corpses are there because they fly in and eventually they'll just die because we've got an on the go machine. And at the end of the day, when we close up the things and chuck the air con on, I'll do a black flag.

Yeah. Right. But I haven't. Well, you're kind of hot boxing yourself with black flag there. Whatever. Do you know what I mean? Like, whatever. Yeah.

Least of the poisons in my body. It's good for you because my mother and my mother's mother and my father's mother all prolific fly spray users. Nana lived to 88. Nan's still alive. She's going to be 90 this year. Kicking. And Mum's healthy as ever.

She is. But huffing Black Flag is the key to longevity. No, I didn't say huffing. I didn't say huffing. I didn't say huffing. Not huffing, but having it around and microdosing yourself with the spice spray.

And sleeping with a spira on. Do you remember spiras? You'd plug them in at the wall and you'd slip a little mat and it would slowly cook the mat and kill the mozzies. Yes. But now it's a liquid

and it slowly burns off the liquid. Okay. Don't tell me that's bad for you. I'll add that to the wall as well. Anyway, we've had all these flies. It's been awful. And I cleaned them all up. And then the next day I came home and I was like, what the hell?

There was so many more. Like, we can't get on top of that. Well, it's good that your thing's working. Yeah, I know. Totally. I know. Anyway, so we had all the doors open last night and then I closed them up and, you know, went about our evening and then I went to hop into bed.

And I've been sleeping in a separate bed as you know because Aaron's been sick and also because I just prefer it now and I was falling asleep and I felt this like in my pants against my butt and

I thought it was so light tickly that I thought it was so light tickly that I thought it was like a hair, you know sometimes if a hair like falls down your butt and you're like and you feel it and you pull it out and you're like, that was fun I was like, it's that and I thought it was just like the light lightness of my fabric and then I

could feel again just this little scratching and I went oh my god, there's literally something in my pants and I went like my god there's literally something in my pants and I went like this against my ass and I found a lump and I was like

oh my god and I was like I don't want to know what it is is it a spider is it a MOTH is it a cockroach because we've had cockroaches

like crawling over my face in my house before West Auckland love it cockroaches love West Auckland so all I did was I had like slapped my butt and like

pinched the lump yeah and then like pulled my shorts off still pinching the lump walked into the hallway where Aaron was like what are you doing

rocking around with no pants on anymore I said there's something in my shorts he's like what's in your shorts thinking I was maybe meaning a big boner but it wasn't

I said there's a bug in my shorts and I threw them into the laundry sink and I got new shorts and I went to bed and just this morning I was like oh my god I wonder what was in my shorts it was a fly that was obviously still alive and

when I'd put on my shorts had been trapped in there and had it been yeah that'll teach that and it would have been squashed between my arse and my In a short. Trapped in there. And had it been kind of, yeah, that'll teach that. I know. And it would have been tick, like, squashed between my ass and my shorts, and it would have been tickling around trying to get the hell out of there.

And I was like, yeah. Anyway. I can see some light up there, and there's a, looks like an exit there. Yeah. And he was, like, confused as to which way to go. I don't know if he was trying to get into the butthole or how he got stuck in there. But I tell you what, I squished him against my butt

and discovered him this morning. I sort of relieved him of the fly. Did you clean the fly juice off your butt? No. Because I was made to clean the windows yesterday because I wait till the flies are in the windows and whip them with a tea towel and they just go juice and explode. But Saturday gonna clean all those guts off the window it'll

still be on my butt because I haven't had a shower this morning I'm gonna have a shower straight away well well well well well well well well. Carl Fletcher. I'll start, shall I, Bourne? We yesterday got into my car. We had a meeting off-site. And I offered to drive us all up there. I was surprised. I offered.

The Jimny was scoffed at for its three-star ANCAP safety rating. And it's too small. And I thought, well, there's no way we're going to fit in Sproul's car. It's always jam-packed. It's like she's living in it. She's cleaned out her car. Wow. It was so clean. I was impressed. Well, let's not say it was so clean. The pistachio shells are still in the cup holder.

And they've been there for a long time. But yeah, there was room. There was room for a tush in the back, a tush in the front, and the driver. And what we And on the way to our destination, something happened that we're going to talk about very soon that Vaughan is quite upset about. I will grind an axe soon. My axe first.

You grind your axe first. This is a two-part axe grinder. It is. This axe is going to be sharpened on both sides. It will be indeed. You said, oh, the meeting's just up there, so find a park anywhere. And I got one of those parks where you can just do a long sort of drive-in.

You know, drift in and drive in. Parking the car. I'm about to get out. I've paid for parking, by the way. Well, it's your car. I was going to offer. And I've paid for the exorbit way. Well, it's your car. I was going to offer. And I've paid for the exorbitant petrol, and the light was on.

Driver always pays for parking. It's their responsibility. You never drive, though. Yeah, exactly. You should have the AT app. Your role as never driver should be, the minute you pull into a park, you jump out and you go, I got this.

No. If you're driving. I'm going to put my number plate on his parking app, actually. Yeah, that's a great idea. So it's easier. I've got his credit card details from when I signed up to Costco and needed a MasterCard, so I'm more than happy to give you that to put in your parking app.

I've already got them from when I've booked tickets. I was supposed to book tickets to Paramore, but I missed out, but I've still got the MX details. No, that was deleted. They were all deleted from the chat, you'll find. No, no, no, I saved them on my phone. Oh, did you? Actually, 9696, text us and we'll send them off to you.

Anyway, we were parking and we were literally just getting out of the car and then this bastard goes, oh my God, I just found a dollar. I heard him say it and I assumed he was already out of the car when he said it, but he wasn't. Same, I thought he was like one foot out in the gutter, finds a dollar. No, he's found a dollar in the back of my car. Yeah, on the passenger footwell.

I know it was in the well. I've seen it there for a while and I kept thinking to myself, I'll put that in the coin thing. Because there's a few coins in the coin thing. You should have grabbed it. Later he got in the front seat because you were dilly-dallying

and he said, oh my God, I found another dollar. And I was like, that's in the coin thing. No, and I didn't take the got in the front seat because you were dilly-dallying and he said, oh, my God, I found another dollar. And I was like, that's in the coin thing. No, and I didn't take the dollar in the coin. But he's taken the dollar that was in the back seat of my footwell. That's my dollar. It's my car. Well, it is your car, but you've obviously had passengers in there that have lost a dollar, and I found it.

Well, no, I feel like there's no other choice than to take it to the people's jury. What is this, Judge Judy? Yeah. I thought that was a fix song when I get you a line in there at the start, but it's just the classical violin intro. It is indeed. Whose dollar is the dollar?

Whose dollar is the dollar? My vote is... I do still have it because it's a contested dollar, so I didn't want to spend it immediately, but I'm just getting it out of my wallet. What's the details of the dollar? What year was it made? 1990? 2002.

Oh, okay. It's in good condition. Now, this was on the passenger footwell where I saw it shining, and I thought, oh my God. Of whose car? Hayley's car. Of my car. But it wasn't, and I would never take a coin from the, you know, the ashtray or from the

cup holder. That's yours. Thank you. Because you've obviously put it there, but this is loose. This is loose in the back seat of the car. So if I was at your house having some drinkies and I came out of the toilet and I saw on your carpet a dollar coin, is that my dollar?

It's on the carpet. Yeah. I don't know if I'd be upset about that because I wouldn't leave a dollar on the carpet. Okay, so a jury is always 12 people, right? A jury of your 12 peers. Yeah, 12 whatever men is always 12 people, right? A jury of your 12 peers. Yeah. 12 whatever men, grumpy men, whatever that movie about a jury was.

We take 12 callers, and whoever has the majority at the end is the winner. Because we're not doing it unanimous. And the people decide. The people decide. Now, what if we get a hung jury? Because you've gone six each. Six each. Oh, my God.

That's fine. It's a hung jury. The dollar is put into a pot. I mean, if we want to go by texts, I've already won here. Yeah. But we've got to take it by phone call. So we need you to call 0800-DOLL-ZM. Yes.

And you say, does the dollar belong to Hayley because it was in her car on the footwell or does it belong to Fletch because he found it in the footwell and the footwell is... And he claimed it. The footwell is a no-man's zone. The footwell is a no-man's zone. The footwell of my car! The cup holder is you've put the coin there for the purpose of a parking meter or

to save the money. Whereas the back seat of the car, someone could have been in your car and dropped it. It's not yours. You're not winning this, my friend. You are not winning this. I will win this. Or do we want to go to the jury next? We'll go to the jury next. I'll 800 downs at him.

I feel like the people are going to be on my side with this one. Read the text machine. Read the text machine and weep. And then get ready to hand that dollar over. In this situation, the text machine is everybody online having their opinion on the guilty verdict? We're going to go to phones as the courts have. You are getting called some names, Carl. I should have spent this dollar yesterday, shouldn't I?

Well, I was having a great day yesterday because I found a dollar. No, you didn't find a dollar. You stole a dollar, I think. I gave you a ride for free. Yeah. And there was a dollar. You didn't pay for parking. There was a dollar floating around in the back of my car,

and then you said, I just found a dollar. It was loose. It wasn't secured. We've taken it to a jury, haven't we, Vaughan? The people's jury. The jury is made up of 12 people, so to win this is the first to seven. I will be running some jury background checks

and striking people from the jury if they're not. Sorry. I'm sorry. You are the defendant. You're not legal counsel. I'm the judge. There's a selection process. We can't have jurors that have criminal records. I reckon, do you know what? Because I'm just looking at the judge. There's a selection process. We can't have jurors that have criminal records.

I reckon, do you know what? Because I'm just looking at the names. All I can see is the names of who's on the phone, and I will say feminism is alive. Absolute BS is what it is. Katie, who do you think, whose is this dollar coin? Is it Fletcher's who found it in Hayley's car, or is it Hayley's because it was in her car?

It's Hayley's. It was loose on the back seat. Hayley's car or is it Hayley's because it was in her car? It's Hayley's. It was loose on the back seat. Hayley's laughing she can't even believe. If everything's loose then you could have completely stolen everything out of her car. My handbag was sitting in the back seat next to him.

Is that his now? And her Jason's map book. Everything in the car is Hayley's. Thank you, Katie. Okay, so that's one for Hayley. One for Hayley. Thank you, Katie. This is going to be quick,

isn't it? Ruby, whose is the dollar? It's Fletcher's dollar. Thank you, Ruby. Thank you, Ruby. Why is it Fletcher's dollar, Ruby? Finally some sensible jurors.

State your case, please. Well, if it was like $10, Hayley, that's yours, but it's just $1, Hayley, that's yours. But it's just $1, you know, it's a free-for-all back there. No, it's not a gift. It's a free-for-all back there. It's a backseat free-for-all. Every dollar counts in this day and age.

And we're going to cause you living costs. And if it was $10, I would have definitely claimed that too. He would have done it quietly as well. I would have done it secretly. Okay, one apiece. Thank you, Ruby. Becky, whose is the dollar? Okay, can I just say,

first time caller, long time listener. First time juror, long time listener. Oh my gosh. I love it. Sorry. Don't stuff it up, Becky, because be on the right side of history here. Oh my God.

I feel the pressure now. I feel the pressure. Okay. Whose dollar is it? Can I just say long-time caller? No. No. Long-time listener.

Long-time listener. First-time caller. Long-time listener. First-time caller. Yay! She did it. She did it. I don't want to stuff this up.

Immediately stuffs it up. I love that. Whose is the dollar? Whose is the dollar, Becky? So, 100% it's Hayley's. Okay,'t want to stuff this up. Immediately stuffs it up. I love that. Whose is the dollar? Whose is the dollar, Becky? So, 100% it's Hayley's. Thank you. That's two for Hayley. It's almost absurd that we're here, isn't it, Becky?

It is. Unbelievable. What, you've never found $5 or a dollar, Becky, and taken it? No. No, never. Never. Not in the back of someone's car. Which is a free-for-all in the back.

It's not a free-for-all, Katie. It's a demilitarised zone. It's a no-man's land. Is that two for Hayley? That's two for Hayley, one for Fletch. Let's go to Sue. Sue, whose dollar is this? Sorry, Hayley, but it's Fletch's. Sue! Thank you, Sue! No, sorry,

Sue! I'm saying my reasoning is what if Vaughan had been in the back of the car a couple of weeks ago and dropped a dollar? Yeah, exactly. And it's just been sitting there. You don't know that it's necessarily yours? Exactly.

No, it's not necessarily mine, but it's definitely not Fletcher's. Sue and other members of the jury, I don't see anyone's name on this dollar. I certainly don't see yours. Possession is nine-tenths of the law and I'm currently possessing this dollar. You're a bad feminist, Sue. Can I just say, I found 20 cents on the road the other day and I

picked it up. Does that mean it's not mine? On the road is not inside someone's car that they own. Sue! It's the same thing. Anybody could have dropped it. Yeah, it's a free-for-all thing. What do you mean anybody?

Sue's raising criminals. People don't just come and go out of my car. Sue's kids are all in jail. She's a good person. I don't know. Where are we wrong? I was a good mum. Rhys, Rhys, member of the jury, Rhys, whose dollar is this?

This is definitely Hayley's dollar. Thank you, Rhys. Thank you, Rhys. That's obvious. It was in my car. It's a free-for-all in the back seat, Rhys. It's obvious. It was in my car. It's a free-for-all in the backseat, Rhys. It's not a free-for-all. Yeah, but if it's in the backseat of her car and you haven't paid for anything,

it should really be going back to her. Yeah. I'm already in debt with the petrol and the parking. And she doesn't even want to finish. And the risk I took. If anybody needs this dollar, it is Hayley, Rhys. Thank you. Let's it is Hayley Reese thank you let's go to Hayley

of course she's probably going to pick Hayley because of the name but it is a free for all in the back seat Jura Hayley

it's not I we've got us Hayleys have got to stick together so obviously I'm with Hayley

on this one it's not even about sticking together Hayley you're on a jury and the

murderer's called Hayley you're like we've got to stick together with Hayley's. She didn't do it. Well, you think about how Orange Juice felt when OJ Simpson was up on murder charges. OJ had to stand by it. I had a hole. I was just like, I've got to stand by my mate.

OJ, stick together. How many votes are you telling me? Hayley's got four. She needs three more. Three more. Catherine, Jura Catherine. Free for all in the back seat. Fletch is a thief.

Thank you. Wow. Fletch is a thief. That's defamation. That's fine, but... Now, that's defamation. You'll have to prove it. And you're about to be proven wrong by a court of law.

Fletch, you wouldn't be spilling from a Maori woman, would you? Oh! Such a white guy woman, would you? Oh! Such a white guy thing to do. Roxanne, oh, this must be mine. This, this,

this coastal, this coastal property, I don't see a single person here. This coastal property just might be mine. History repeating itself. White man stealing from the Māori woman.

Were you Māori doing anything with this island? No. I was just, I was just, I had my arm in this all. No you Māori doing anything with this island? No. I was just having my own. Wow. That might actually be worth two.

I think. Wow. You want to be on the right side of history. Venetia, good morning. Good morning. Jura number, what is it? Jura number eight. This is the deciding after the last one was a two-piece.

There was a twofer. Whose door is it? Venetia. Well, look, I just wanted to say that I'm a self-professed cheap ass myself. Okay. But Fletch, really, man, like, come on. Wow. Thank you.

This is terrible. Thank you. I just really feel for you. Yeah. I can't believe you even. You pay for nothing, Fletch. What is up with you, right? Literally, he's paid for nothing.

I can't even believe i've got to work with this guy you're a freeloader and you're like mooching off i don't think he pays for something when he can get his american express or diners car points jurors aren't meant to give the closing and then she is please like if you went to court that's all over all over, you'd be in jail. Do not pass those. Don't weigh the keys. Do not collect $200.

Give the dollar back to Hayley. Give the dollar back to Hayley. Venetia, thank you. That is the closing argument in my hand. Point out I've given the dollar back to the Māori woman. Thank you. With some clauses. There's weird itchy blankets and stuff.

I don't want those. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This five minute car ride's given us over half an hour of content. It was all go. Yeah, this happened before I found a dollar in the back of Hayley's car, which, by the way, I've happened to hand over because a jury of my peers have spoken. So in Auckland, we were travelling from Newmarket to Ponsonby and we went down Newton,

what's it called? I call it the gully. Yeah. It's like where Khyber Pass becomes Newton Road. Newton Road. And you go down there and it seemed at one stage, sort of almost as a premonition,

I said, huh, there's a golf, the yellow golf warehouse is on one side and the other golf place is on the other side. I said, we're surrounded by golf. And then we kept going. We went over the motorway bridge and then there was something in the middle of the road

and traffic was swerving around us. And I was like, run it over. And we didn't know what it was. But it could have been something inside there. A bag of kittens. Yeah, it could have been a bag of kittens. Oh my gosh. So as we got closer, I was like, oh, it's a golf bag.

Hayley, pull over, pull over. Fletcher's like, we don't have time. We literally had so much time. We had time. We didn't have time. Because when we got to where we were going, we went and waited 18 hours for you to order something from a cafe. It felt like 18 hours.

They took their time, eh? Yeah, there was a lot of time taken. I went for a little walk to decompress and think about it. You used the toilet and you weren't a customer. Maybe that should be the people's jury next week. You were a customer. Yeah, but you weren't. Yeah, and you pushed in front of the customer.

Yeah, and I used the access toilet too. Oh, wow. Because I like the extra room. Sue me. So the thing in the middle of the road was a golf bag full of golf clubs and I, Hayley pulled over and Fletcher was like, we don't have time and I ran back to get it off the road because I'm a great citizen.

You did well because it was in the middle of the road because it was blocking a whole lane. You used quite a lot of, it was quite hot watching you. You used force, you sort of put up a hand like, hey, hey stop, I'm going to get this. And so the truck stopped and I ran out and got the golf bag and picked it up and went to the side of the road.

And that's when it's full. It's like a full golf bag. I know. I opened it up. It had two drivers in it. A one and a three. Those are my two favourite drivers. What else did it have in it?

It had a full set of irons. It had snacks. It had, yeah, it had some prunes looking snacks. Yeah. Sort of dried situation. Big bag of teas. It had teas. It had snacks. It had, yeah, it had some prunes looking snacks. Yeah. Sort of dried situations. Big bag of teas. It had teas. It had balls.

It had a couple of gloves. It had everything it needed for Vaughan Smith to take up golf. And you were going to chuck it in the back of my car. And Fletcher was like, no. The same man that soon after tried to steal a dollar from his friend wouldn't let me take a golf bag full of golf clubs from the middle of the road. Because it was someone's. Those are expensive.

A dollar that you find. They were getting insurance anyway. I don't know if they were. I don't know if the golf clubs were that great. Well, I was trying to figure it out. Well, what did you want to pick aside? You just said they were expensive, and then you were like, they're not that great. Which side do you want to be on? It's still they were expensive, and then you were like, they're not that great.

Which side do you want to be on? It's still going to cost someone a lot of money to replace all their clubs, get a bag. But how did they even fall? They were literally in the middle of one of the busiest roads. I think they just threw them on the back of a ute, willy-nilly. So if you play golf at the Waitakere Golf Club,

and it was a red bag, and you had Wilson clubs, I picked your golf bag up off the side of the road, and I leant it against the road sign, and I said to myself, if I come back after this meeting and those golf clubs are still there, they're my golf clubs. Yeah. I gave you a chance. They were gone, and I don't believe they were returned

to the rightful owner. I think somebody else was like, I'll have some free golf clubs. You got the feeling, eh? And I turned 42 today. That's prime take-up golf age. That or road cycling. Yes, it is. When you reach this age,

it's got to be easy on the joints. Yeah. Whatever you're doing. There was a full set ready to go. Full set. Balls, tees. You were looking through the bag to see if there was a card or a number.

Nothing identifiable. Bourne got the clubs out and made sure they were the right size. They were the right length. He was like, look at me. You gotta, you,

and I got a good grip and a great stance. Played a bit of golf when I was a younger man and they were the right, they were the perfect length. Fletcher's like, I was like,

put them back. Put them back. Yeah. Yeah. And someone who's had a bag fall out of a car, I just like, for me,

I was like, just leave it there. Someone will come back. It happened to you. Someone straight away picked it up and took it like 20km to a police station. And I would have been there in a couple of minutes. Just leave it on the side of the road. I know, but I don't think that, I mean,

we should have taken them to the police station. We had a meeting to go to, so we didn't. We just laid them out there. But I don't think they went to the police station. I think someone went oh my god, free set of golf clubs. I'm going to cashy convi and I'm going to get some cash for these. People are messaging and saying you've just in the last

half hour had two examples of the different sides of finders weepers. Finders keepers, losers weepers. There's a dollar amount on finders keepers. There's a dollar amount. You found a dollar in someone's car and I found it in no man's land, the middle of the road. And I should have been able to keep the golf clubs.

Yeah, but it's very expensive. If it was a dollar in the middle of the road, absolutely keep it. I mean, the main reason you didn't want me to keep the golf clubs is you were in the backseat at this time and you didn't want to have to share the backseat with the golf clubs. That's why I believe, ladies and gentlemen, is the sole reason I believe Fletcher didn't want me to do the clubs.

He was like, ooh, don't put them in the car. They did look a bit manky. Well, they went rolling around on the road run over by cars. Yeah.

They were probably, most of them were probably bent but free, free golf clubs. I'm not spending money on golf clubs. And he ruined it, he poo-pooed it

because I was on board, I was like, chuck him in the boot. I'm sorry for doing the right thing. It wasn't the right thing, you thief. You stole the dollar. You can't just flip floppity like, chuck him in the boot. I'm sorry for doing the right thing. It wasn't the right thing, you thief. You stole the dollar.

You can't just flip flopperty boots. You've got the dollar back. You're son of the law. You've got the dollar back. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's an idea that's been chucked around for a while, apparently, for a new public holiday, like a proper stat day,

to recognise veterans, war veterans, people serving our country. And I think the RSA brought it up, not just Anzac. I thought that was Anzac's primary purpose. But Anzac's more about that particular moment, that particular war. I thought about it, but I just kind of... I kind of thought everything just got lumped in there. Nah. In America, they have a Veterans Day, don't they?

Yeah, they do. But also to recognise people currently serving, previously serving, younger, older, all that kind of stuff. And the RSA was like, a lot of veterans don't feel like they get the acknowledgement they deserve. And I didn't know this, but Chris Pink, he's our guy out west,

northwest, from the National Party. He is the Minister for Veterans, and he's been chatting about it, saying that they're considering it, that they're looking into it. That's something that they would, you know, it takes a lot of consideration. Well, they do like Matariki, so I don't know if they're going to like another one. Matariki. No, they hated Matariki.

I don't think you guys are saying it right. I think it's Matai Rai Kai. Oh, Matai Rai Kai. Matai Rai Kai. Do you remember when they brought that in? Guess we'll never know, whack-a-coe-tay. When they brought that in, they were like, no. Yeah, no.

Because it costs businesses. David Seymour was like, if you're going to have that one, you've got to get rid of the day after New Year's Day. Yeah. Isn't he trying to get rid of the second of January as a holiday? Has he never had a two-day hangover? Of course he hasn't. Never worked a bloody day in his life. Wouldn't he trying to get rid of the 2nd of January as a little holiday? Has he never had a two-day hangover? Of course he hasn't. Never worked a bloody day in his life.

Wouldn't bloody know any politicians. Anyway. So disconnected from the common man. They have suggested November 11th, Armistice Day. 11th of the 11th. In the 11th hour on the 11th of the 11th. 11-11. 11-11.

As the proposal. And Chris Penk, Pink is not giving away a lot of information but he was saying maybe. Well, I do love a holiday. A shout out to the veterans

as well. Shout out to those serving our country but yes, I'd love it one day at the beach. November, heating up.

Weather starts to get warmer in November. November 13th is my wedding anniversary. Always nice to have a long weekend for the wedding anniversary. No,

I'm just thinking if it's around there, long weekend for the wedding anniversary. And call in and see your if it's around there, long weekend for the wedding anniversary. And call in and see your local MP and ask if he can make it the 13th. Yeah. Well, we could do that. We've got a lot of power. Well, we're two of however many that he represents in his area.

But in all seriousness, you know, I'm back on my World War II buzz. I know, yeah. And the World War II veterans are dwindling in numbers, given that it was so long ago. Hell of a... And they were young men! They were young men! By talking about this long weekend,

I didn't realise I was walking into a trap here. Yeah, because you've got them fired up about his World War II. Yeah. Do you know there's a New Zealand connection to Masters of Air? Is there? I reckon let's pause. Because next on the show. An Invercargill man was one of the legendary Spitfire pilots.

Let's pause because Vaughan, it's your birthday and next on the show we want to celebrate you momentarily and we'll give you 60 seconds. You can talk about where we'll do. 10. 10. All right. What will I talk about?

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Happy birthday to you. It's your birthday, Vaughan. It is. 42 years old. Correct. Oh, shoot.

What was that? Was that me or you? It was your present. Oh, did you break it? I was like, what just fell over? It sounded heavy. Heavy. I was like, what just fell over? It sounded heavy. It's heavy. Now, Vaughan's worst fear on his birthday was that we would make a big fuss,

that we would make him cry, that we would embarrass him, that we would make him blush. And all he wanted for his birthday was for us to do nothing. So we haven't done nothing. Nothing adjacent. Nothing adjacent, yeah. nothing. Nothing adjacent. Nothing adjacent, yeah. Quite like nothing adjacent. Producer Shannon's done the majority of the big work here.

Now she's bringing in a cake. She's walking very slowly with it because she doesn't want to... Have you ever put candles in a cake before? It's long enough! Read it out. Let me do it. What do you do? Yeah.

Good stuff. We haven't done that. Let me do it. What do you do? Good icing from her. Great icing. You, for Sade's birthday, had made such an effort with the cake

and pulled it from a stupid internet meme, I was thinking, what's my favourite meme that Vaughan's really gone on? Oh yeah, blow out the candles, it's going to melt.

And it's the long dog saying, I'm really annoyed for you. It's the dog that's stuck at the thing, oh, smoky, that's stuck at Nose and the Pringles? And we got you a whiskey.

We got you a whiskey. Here you go. Thank you. That's perfect. That's a perfect birthday. Thank you, whiskey. Hello. Now, we're short on time,

so I think we weren't going to be able to let you do one fact about World War II. I don't really have time to think about it. I've been listening to a podcast about the V2 rocket. Oh, my God. Why did you do this? It was as close to Germany came as turning back the tides of the war and the later stages there. I didn't mean to.

Do you know, so the guy that invented it, quickly, quickly, just really quickly, the guy that invented it never wanted, all he ever wanted to do was go to the moon. And so the German army said, we're going to give you the money to research this rocket so we can bomb London and stuff and not get too close. And he was like, yeah, yeah, sure, cool. Give me that money.

But all the time he was just building this rocket to get to the moon. And then the SS were like, they were bad, bad jokers, said, oh, we want to be in charge of the rocket. He's like, yeah, yeah, give me some money and I'll build a rocket and you can like bomb London. And all the while he's like building this rocket to get to the moon. And they're like, oh, we want to be in charge of the rocket. He's like, yeah, yeah, give me some money and I'll build a rocket and you can, like, bomb London. All the while he's, like, building this rocket to get to the moon. And they're like, where's our rocket to bomb London?

And he's like, I've been working on something else. I'm going to the moon soon. And they were like, put an explosive in it and we're bombing London. Jeepers creepers. Okay, well, there you go. We'll go to World War II fast. Two little tidbits about the making of this cake. One, Shannon got on the group chat and she was like. That was grim, wasn't it? Two little tidbits about the making of this cake. One,

Shannon got on the group chat and she was like, should I put raisins in it? We said no. I'm a big raisins fan. Oh! What kind of cake is it though? Carrots! Yeah,

dirt raisins! No, no raisins in any cake. No, no raisins. And the other little tidbit Fletch is that, did you know on Friday night

we're going out to celebrate Vaughan's birthday and you're not invited? No, I said he could come. Wow. He'll need a ride and you'll have to drive all the way into the city to pick him up and then all the way out. The last time I got a ride I found a dollar

in her car and she wouldn't let me keep it. Happy birthday Vaughan. Thanks. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now there is a hairdresser This is overseas

So you can't do this in New Zealand But she is offering a 10% discount On the haircut Which can be a lot of money But the catch is You've got to tell her how you and your boyfriend broke up She just loves a goss Like any boyfriend

So she just wants to hear Any past relationship How it ended And so you're Getting your hair done And she'll be gossing With you about this And then you get 10% off

That's good That's good I wouldn't have I always feel like She could get that For nothing anyway That's what I was gonna say Because

That kind of The hairdresser Whether you're getting A beard trim Any kind of the hairdresser, whether you're getting a beard trim, any kind of thing like that, you're always talking. I find it hard to get too much of a goss with the boys when you're getting the beard trim though because you've got to hold the face pretty still. But when they're cutting, the old

boys are in the, oh, the old boys love a goss when they're in the barber shop. Because I'm not speaking and my dude might be asking the occasional question. I can hear what's happening in the chairs around because I'm not speaking and my dude might be asking the occasional question. You're just listening. I can hear what's happening in the chairs around me and some old boys,

they might have a go at the missus for being a chatterbox but they really open up. They really open up while they're getting a haircut. This is what I wondered because this would happen

all the time but not just hairdressers. The things that you hear clients or customers say. And that's what I wanted to talk about this morning. Wait staff would hear a lot because they kind of go up

to tables and if someone's talking they might just kind of like circle the perimeter waiting for a gap in conversation and be like, how is everything? Shannon, did this happen to you? All the time. She got a lot of tips today, Shannon, how is everything? Shannon? Can I take your drinks? Did this happen to you? All the time. I would know if it was a... She got a lot of tips today, Shannon, didn't she?

Probably to keep her mouth shut after she overheard this delicate information. I would know if it was a first date. I would know if they're fighting. You just get a vibe on them so quick and you just hear snippets. Would you hang around the table if it was real gossipy? Yes. The best I ever had was at this restaurant where I used to get lots of tips. And it was a table of maybe 15 older ladies.

And they were talking about some explicit adult things they wanted to try for the first time. And some of them were sharing their experiences. At a restaurant? Yeah, at a fancy restaurant. And they were just talking about their experiences and, oh, they would never do that. And it was quite scandalous. Got a big tip from them, though. I reckon they knew i heard them how old uh gals are we talking oh like retired old girls and how risque are these things they wanted to try for an old gal i'd say very risque for a

gen z maybe less okay yeah i think we've got enough clues there to work out. Why are Gen Z doing that? What that one is. Why are Gen Z doing that? Do you know? On what I reckon, because you kind of, I don't know what it is about being in a taxi or an Uber.

You just forget the driver's there, right? Oh, yeah. Because they're quiet. And you're just in a car with your friends and you're just like, oh, yeah, well, I'll just carry on like I'm in a car with my friends. Because sometimes I get out of an Uber

and I'm like, God, we said some things then. Luckily, it's never on my rating. I'll always be quiet if it's on my rating. Should we take some calls of overheard what you have? The craziest thing you've overheard a customer or a client

say. Yeah, we've just actually had a text in from a Hayley Sproul. She said, I've got a story. Well, that's interesting. She's left the show for the last hour today. She's gone to film something, so she's not allowed to participate. We are talking about what you've overheard at work

because a hairdresser is offering a 10 or 20, 10% discount if you tell her how you broke up with your last boyfriend. She's just by the sound of it an absolute gossip hound. So we want to hear what you've overheard because obviously this hairdresser loves a goss. Discount if you tell her how you broke up with your last boyfriend. She's just by the sound of it an absolute gossip hound. So we want to hear what you've overheard because obviously this hairdresser loves a goss. Yeah, Tash, you're a hairdresser.

Yes, I am, yeah. You would have heard it all. Oh, God, yeah, yeah. You hear lots of different things. But the worst thing was I had a client in my chair and she was telling me how she cheated on her husband and was telling me all the information about it. And then, yeah, the worst thing is that her husband actually came in and brought us lunch. And, yeah, he seems like such a lovely dude. And, yes, I quickly went out the back to mix up more colour because I was like, oh, I don't want to be around him.

Oh, wow. Okay. And was there anyone else there or was it just you two? No, it was just me and her. Oh, wow. Yeah, I was the only stylist at the time. Oh, my. That's awkward.

It was really, really awkward. Why did he bring in lunch? Like, oh, you did such a great job. No, that's just what partners do. I have lots of, yeah, partners coming into the salon that buy their, yeah. They're checking up. They're checking up on them. They're checking up on them, rightfully so.

He should have been checking up on her. She cheated on him. Or making sure I was doing the, you know, doing a good job. Wow, okay. Yeah. What is it that makes people open up, though? They just feel, like, relaxed. Yeah, yeah.

I guess someone, you know, playing with your hair is really relaxing and everything as well. And they're just like, yeah, I'm cheating on my husband. Yes. You do, you hypnotise them with your head massages. Brilliant, Tash. Thank you. Rebecca, what have you overheard a client or a customer say?

Oh, morning. Yes, I used to work at a jewellery store. We had a free gift with purchase at Christmas when you spend $150. And the lady came in to exchange the gift, which was a bracelet, because it was too big. And I had to tell her it was the free gift. And then she rang the husband in store and found out that the mistress got the $150 and she got the free gift.

Wow. And this mistress was news to her? Yes, yeah. So it all came out on the phone while I was standing there. And were you like, this is amazing, but also like, I don't want to be here right now? Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't wait to tell everyone, but I was like, I really just want to go out the back. And if you're going to have a mistress,

you've got to be a bit of a liar. Like, he crumbled. It sounds like he crumbled so quickly. She's like, oh, apparently this was a gift for the purchase. He'd be like, there must be some mistake. Yeah. She sort of ran through the family and she's like, no one else got any jewellery, so she sort of put it together and he had to fess up. Wow.

Rebecca, gosh, love it. Thank you, Tara. What did you overhear a customer say? So it wasn't really a customer saying anything, but I used to work in a tyre shop. And so I had taken their truck into the particular shed that we were working on for them to get their car fixed. And their Bluetooth from their phone obviously went back into the particular shed that we were working on for them to get their car fixed. And their Bluetooth from their phone obviously went back into the truck.

And they were just sitting in our office just catching up on some websites. Oh! I was going to say, he's like, wait, he's in your office looking at adult content? Yes, yes. Like on the custom account. That's not appropriate. That's not appropriate.

That's not appropriate. The customer couch, that's one of the, I think that's a category actually. Oh no, casting. Yeah, different couch. So you've been missing a T in them. Oh wow. And did you, yeah, wow. Okay.

Hi, Kelly. Yeah, yeah. So that was sort of embarrassing when I was driving through the shed back going past both of of my co-workers, because the windows were down because it was a hot day, and then all of a sudden, yeah. Yeah, okay. Brilliant. Tara, thank you. Nikki, you had a lady next to you. You overheard. I did. Morning, guys. I was sitting in a hairdresser's, and as you rightly pointed out, you have a pretty intimate relationship with your hairdresser at times.

And this lady was talking about the frustrations of her workplace and a particular woman that she worked with and she was this and she was that. And then she started talking about the colleague's husband. Unbeknownst to her, she was talking about my brother and my sister-in-law. Did you say anything? So I did, and I thought sometimes less is more. And so I didn't say anything at the time, but I knew that I was going to be finished my hair before she was. So when I left, I tapped her on the shoulder and said, that lady and man you were talking about, that's my brother and sister-in-law.

Be careful what you wish for and who you talk about in the future. Oh, no, no, no. She just about died. I bet, yeah, she would have wanted a hole to swallow her up and disappear into the ground. Nikki, thank you. Some messages in. Somebody says it's been looked into apparently at the hairdressers

because you're sitting in front of a mirror and looking at yourself. There's some psychological effect where you can't lie to your own face. And then the barriers are taken down because you're being touched. The physical touch might remove some inhibitions. Maybe that's how they should start questioning prisoners at the police station. Give them a nice haircut at Rodney Wayne. Take them down to the rodders. Rodney Wayne and get a head massage.

Yes. And just be like, did you murder that person? Take you over to the sink, give you the head massage and wash your hair and then sit you up and... A little foam? Yeah. Yeah. But a mousse? Do they still do a mousse?

Is mousse still a thing? Yeah, mousse and then hairspray. And hair gel. Okay, great. And then put the curlers in. Yeah. And give you 15 minutes. Hairdressers, lots and lots and lots of them.

People coming in, somebody said, I was sitting next to a woman who was saying how she'd grown to hate her teenage daughter. Now that's a hell of a thing to put on the hairdresser. Obviously just needed it out there. But yeah, hairdressers, people are always just, maybe check if people are around you at the hairdresser next time would be the lesson learnt today, I think.

Play City. Let's go to Nelly. Play City. Fact of the Day Well, it's Billionaire Week Here at Fact of the Day Interesting facts about billionaires The first ever billionaire

We learnt about yesterday Today is the youngest ever billionaire Hmm Elon Musk? Nope This person Inherited ever billionaire? Hmm. Elon Musk? Nope. This person inherited their billions.

Oh, okay. No idea. Clement Clemente Delvejo is the son, one of six children of Leonardo Delvejo,

the late chairman of Alicia Luxorica, the world's largest eyeglasses firm, your Ray-Bans. Oh, okay. You know that sunglasses brand that you're like, you look into it and they own everything? Yeah, right, okay.

Brands of it. They own, for example, they own Sunglass Hut, OPSM, Oakley, Ray-Ban, lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of them. Did they own Oakley as well? Yeah. Why don't they just have one store with all of them instead of having seven stores? The house brands include Persol, Ray-Ban, Oakley, Costa Del Mar, Olivia Peoples, Oliver Peoples rather.

And the company also makes eyewear under license for Armani, both Giorgio and Imperio Armani. I'm trying my best there, but I'm well out of my depth. Well, Hayley's away. She would have done this list. Armani, Exchange, Michael Kors, Shravarsky Crystals. They make sunglasses, apparently. Tiffany & Co, Miu Miu, Polo Lout, Ralph Lauren, Prada, Burberry, Chanel, Coach Dolce and Gabbana.

You know those twins? Yep. They do everything. Ralph Lauren, Versace. Yeah, Dolce and Gabbana. You know those twins? Yep. They do everything. Ralph Lauren, Versace. Yeah, they make them for everything. So you can see why this man was extremely wealthy. So wait, he's one of six kids. He's one of six kids.

Are the other kids billionaires? Yes, they are. But he's the youngest. He was 18 when last year on June 27th, his father, Leonardo del Verge, died at the age of 87. Oh, could you imagine being 18 and getting a billion something dollars? Yeah, my dad. That not good things would have happened.

His 12.5% share in the company netted him $4.2 billion US dollars. And at the age of 18, that's what he inherited. So his stepmother, six siblings, everybody got a slice. And his was 12.5%, and his net worth is $14.2 billion. He's 19 now. So... That's insane.

Could you imagine Bourne Smith living in Hamilton, being 18, getting $4 billion? 18, I was in Auckland studying broadcasting. Oh, okay. Living in Wairau Valley. Yep. Trias Road, if anybody's familiar with the area. You could probably have purchased quite a few blocks.

The whole road. You could probably have purchased the entire Wairau Valley back then. Well, yeah, for that price, definitely, definitely. But yeah, so this 18-year-old, now 19, is the 818th richest billionaire in the world and the youngest person to ever become a billionaire. That's wild. Like, literally have the money.

Not be rich by having a rich parent. Having a rich parent that died so that the finances actually under your name. Still a nepo baby, though, right? Absolutely. Okay. So today's fact of the day is the youngest ever billionaire became a billionaire at the age of 18 when his father, who owned all of the sunglasses

you could ever imagine, passed away. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Last minute effort into being New Zealand's skate shooter entrant for the 2024 Paris Games. Leaving it quite late, I would say. She's never shot a gun, so I think she might be dreaming, but hey, I'm not going to be here to poo-poo someone's Olympic dreams in a possible medal hot fill. Now, yesterday, I witnessed you getting two compliments,

and I think the nation needs to hear that you're packing some guns. Hayley's not the only one shooting. Nah, yeah, there's... No. Yeah, it was weird yesterday. I think it might have been the T-shirt I was wearing, which was a T-shirt I bought in America that has shrunk on the wash

due to the extreme poor quality of craftsmanship. $8 from Walmart. Should have seen that coming. Did you dryer, though? No. Because dryers are not good for fabric. No, no, no. I said these $8 T-shirts I've purchased can simply not go in the dryer.

Wine only. It'll do that thing where you'd put a chippy packet in the oven and it would like turn into a very miniature version of the chippy packet. Yes, yes. And you could put it on a key ring. Maybe that. But I've just really been struggling to find any F's to put into eating well and

exercising with any sort of consistency. I had a busy start to the year with a whole lot of things go wrong at the farm let. So the gym's definitely down the priority list. On the back burner. It's on the back burner while other things are happening. But I have put on weight in the chest

and the arms. And yesterday I was sitting like cross-armed and that's when Hayley said what's happening with your arms? And I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, they look big. And I was like, no, they're fat. And I just lean against my other fat bits and it squishes them out.

But you're getting, and then it happened again. We ran into someone. They asked me if I was lifting. Yeah. I've been lifting. And I was like, no, I've not. Well, I have been lifting, but not like. Not weights. Not weights, just lifting things.

Biscuits. To the mouth. To the mouth cakes. Your amazing birthday cake today. Yeah, lift that to the mouth. But you've been doing like outside work. You're like on the farm. Yeah.

But I'm not. It's just, I think it's just weight gain. But that's a good sort of weight gain. That's the weight gain you want. Yeah, small arms. Yeah, and titties. And now that I'm 42, it's going to be a real uphill battle to get rid of them.

Well, take the compliments. I think I might just keep them. Well, you're getting compliments. Flatter them for a bit. You're getting compliments. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, misguided compliments. Still compliments, though.

Let's just leave it at that. Move on. Don't compliment the arms or the boobs because it certainly isn't from doing anything healthy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po.

It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little poll Silly little poll Silly little poll Silly little poll Silly little poll A silly little poll is should you have to RSVP to an event that you're going to say no to? Because you would assume a no response is a I'm not coming.

Yes. So just put me in a I'm not coming. Yes. So just put me in the I'm not coming column. I'll put you in the no column. Now, there are exceptions for this. For me personally, I would always RSVP yes or no to a wedding. I always took RSVPs to weddings very casually until I had my own and realised how much stress it puts on the person working on the RSVPs. Yeah, you've got to say yes or no pretty quickly.

You've definitely... So, like, in our industry, there are a lot of invites to a lot of things. Yes. Openings of things, events, and I don't go to any of them, and I don't reply to any of the emails. Nah, and if they follow up again asking... I'll ignore that, too. Oh, you ignore that, too.

That's when I'll say, thanks very much for the invite. I can't make it. Oh, yeah, sometimes I say that. Yeah. But like, if you don't reply, and it's a blanket invite to a whole bunch of people, to me, not replying is a no. Even to just a casual party, not required. But if there's catering, you've got to, that's my rule.

If there's catering, you've got to RSVP. I'm not just talking a chit-chat chittery board either. I'm talking like proper catering, you've got to RSVP. I'm not just talking a chitchat chittery board either. I'm talking like proper catering. But if it was a friend's party, like a Facebook party, you know the people, not just like an event for something, then yes, RSVP to that. I would just think that they should assume I'm probably not coming. Well, they know you're not.

Should you RSVP to an RSVP if the answer is no? 86% of people said yes. 14% of people said no way am I RSVP to an R if the answer is no? 86% of people said yes. 14% of people said no way am I RSVPing if I'm not going. Okay. Got to give the hooch a chance to grieve that I won't be there and then to beg me to come along. Delusion isn't just a river in Egypt, says Dan. Good from Dan.

I think delusion is a river at, Dan. River at all, Dan. I love that. Yeah, that's a good... See if they really want you there. Yeah. If they're going to guilt you into coming. Kelly said, yes, because manners. Yeah.

She's got some manners, that one. She does. Ingrid, having just planned a wedding, please RSVP. Otherwise, we sit here like, did you see it? Did you just forget? But did you want to attend? Are you still contemplating attending? End up having to chase them. Yeah. Please RSVP. Otherwise, we sit here like, did you see it? Did you just forget? But did you want to attend? Are you still contemplating attending?

End up having to chase them. Yeah. Yeah. Which is again what we talked about at the start with the wedding. If people know I'm not coming, they can reduce the amount of food and alcohol they need to buy from Ali. So she RSVPs. That's actually very good. Okay.

They might need it. They know Ali's coming. They're like, well, get some more because Ali's coming. She drinks. The way that you said it made it sound like Ali coming they're like well get some more because Ali's coming she drinks. The way that you said it made it sound like Ali needs a lot of alcohol. She does. Oh right yeah.

That's why she said that's why she'll RSVP yes because she needs there to be lots of things to up the order. Mason says no RSVP is just

to save your place if you're attending if you're attending not attending no RSVP. Yeah okay. Felicity says, depends what it is. A wedding, yes, but a birthday party, I'm not RSVPing.

Because you also don't want to commit so early sometimes to a party. Yeah. You're just like, on the day, you might not be feeling it. Yeah. It's more important to know who won't be there, plus manners. Yeah. I'll tell you what's been controversial for me in the past is a maybe to a Facebook event.

Some people do not like that. Yeah. Because I guess it's not definitive, so it's not saying I've prioritised somebody else over you or my own time over you. It's just like, I'll see how I feel on the day. Yeah, you are. You're playing fast and loose with your attendance to their event.

I can see why they're hurt by that. Just let them know. Let them deal with it. Be a grown-up. Grow up. I'm not coming. Yeah. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars

because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars. Tell your friends. And we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars?

Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is.

I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.