ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 20th June 2024

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Top 6: Places Shrek could live  Silly Little Poll!  Thunder has been Stolen  Brin's Comedy Career  Vaughan got Bit!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Hiya. I just looked at the jackpot for five on time. $17,000.

Shoot, come on. Whoa, okay, it's going up. So it's going to max out at $25,000. Hasn't been won yet. Eight o'clock this morning. Listen out for the activator if you want to play. You've just got to say stop.

I'd say time rather at exactly 5.0 seconds. What are we saying? We're saying time. Time. Time. At 5.00 seconds. It has some really close guesses.

Really? No one yet has nailed it. So $17,000 up for grabs at 8 o'clock. Wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't it be nice? Be lawful, eh? What are you doing for the top six today, Vorno?

Top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand because it's Shannon's idea and it's her birthday. So you're all like, yay, yay. And I'm just sitting there being like, that sounds way too hard I saw this story pop up on news sites

in Australia yesterday the Bureau of Statistics which is like their statistics New Zealand released a map of like some

swampy marshy areas in Australia lovely and cities where Shrek could live like do they not have anything else to do I think there's lots to do

in Australia but can't they count the number of people coming into the country or something? Isn't that what they're meant to be doing? I don't know. Can't they marvel at Uluru or something? Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

So many things to do. So many things. But it feels way more of the Ministry of Swamps. Yeah. Jurisdiction. True. Way more so. Well, you're going to delve into six swampy, marshy places that Shrek could live in New Zealand.

It's like a birthday treat for Shannon. It is. She's excited. She was over the moon to get that through. She's doing a little dance. On today's show, which is nice. How old are you today, Shannon? 25.

Same. Same. Do you know Shannon said she lies to the charity people outside the supermarket? You know, the people that always piss to you before you go in. Yeah. What do you say to them to get them away from you? I just say I'm 17. She's 25.

Do they laugh at you? No, but they can't be like, show us ID that you're 17 and say I don't have one. But is that because you can't sign up? Yeah. Because you're not 18? I'm a minor. But you've just got to have a bank account, don't have one. But is that because you can't sign up? Yeah. Because you're not 18? I'm a minor. But you've just got to have a bank account, don't you? No.

Do you have to be 18? You'd have to be 18, I guess. I think you can't influence them or whatever. Oh, my God, I'm going to say that now, too. That feels like a 16-year-old thing. No. Doesn't it? Doesn't it?

That feels like one of those 16s. Regardless, Fletch, it's not going to work for Fletch. Shannon barely gets away with it. You're coming in with 20 years on her. I want to follow you into the supermarket and hang back and just see the looks on their face when you say that to them. And then when they approach you, be like, same, same. And I walk out with a bottle of wine.

Yeah. Yeah. That'll undo your plan. Next on the show, a dermatologist has said that we are, some of us, are showering too long has said that we are, some of us, are showering too long. This may be you Vaughan because you love a long shower. I love a long shower. Love a long hot shower. How long would your showers

be? Not before work but if you don't have to go to work. No, not nearly as long as they used to be. Depends if he's doing a trim or not. You do a trim in the shower. Oh yeah because some people shave their legs and it goes a bit longer. Well I'll tell you why a dermatologist is saying we're spending too long in the shower next. Play.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, a dermatologist in the UK has said that we are taking too long in the shower. And the hot water and spending too long in the shower is causing the oils, the skin's natural oils, to strip away. And it's making your skin dry. It's irritating your skin. I already come from a dry family. I'm a dry skin. I'm a sensitive dry skin person.

Aaron can get out of the shower and not moisturise. And you can just put clothes on. If I did that, within a couple of minutes, I'd snap in half. You're quite flaky, aren't you? Me? I'm not flaky at all. I will say.

He's got good skin, eh? I saw the bottom of Vaughn's foot yesterday and I marvelled at its suppleness. We'll discuss later on the show why I saw the foot.

Why you saw Vaughn's foot. Yeah. I'm finally kicking off my OnlyFans. My foot OnlyFans. And I was like, does this one get you going? It's going to be a unique OnlyFans. My foot OnlyFans. And I was like, does this one get you going? It's going to be a unique OnlyFans.

Oh, yes. Yeah. Very unique. Because you could be dying. I don't want to shock listeners, but Vaughn could be dying. Wrong tease. This could be our last show. So 48% of people say that showering or having a bath

takes up most of their beauty regime time. Oh, yeah. And, you know, there is the everything shower, which is big on TikTok, where you do everything in the shower. You shave, you exfoliate, moisturise, scrub. No, I didn't have an everything shower last night. I had a shared shower. Oh, wow.

I don't do everything when I have my shared shower with Aaron. You've just renovated your bathroom and you had the double showers put in, didn't you? Yeah. And so how often do you double shower? Quite often. That's cool. Not in like a hot, horny way and just like a, you need a shower, I need a shower. Why wait?

Right. Do you wash each other's backs and stuff? Yeah, little scrubs. Little scrubs on the back. Yeah. That's nice. So you have both showers on as your shower? Here's what happens. Oh, no. Okay, see, I could have. So we're on the back. Yeah. When you have both showers on, is your shower... Here's what happens.

Oh, no. Okay, see, I could... So we're on infinity gas, so it's fine. The hot water's not going to run out. But I'll get a perfect temp, and then his is on. And mine goes a little bit cooler. So I'll up, which makes his a little bit cooler. So he ups.

So we've got to keep... It's hotter. You've got to find the balance. You've got to find the balance. So you have it too hot, and then it's just right. Is the water pressure the same, though? Water pressure's the same. Oh, okay, that's all right then.

No, no, water pressure's the same. It's just the temp that plays around. So you've got to have it hotter on both sides, and then whoever gets out first turns theirs off, and then yours gets hot. Right, and you like a hotter shower. I like a hotter shower, but he likes a hot shower too. Okay, right.

So we have it quite hot. But how long will you be in the shower for? I don't even know. You know when you're camping and it's like, there's two minute buttons in the showers? I'm longer than that because I'll have to repush. Because this dermatologist doesn't say how

long. Oh, well you can't come out, dermatologist. Less than ten minutes. The optimal time should be less than 10. Every now and then, if I'm really hungover or if I just feel really tired and I just feel like I'm not cleaning,

I'm just standing. Or like in winter when you've been outside all day or you're really cold and you just love soaking up the hot water for like 10 minutes. Or if you're doing that. Spill my wine. A little bit of hot water. No, I'm saying.

Yeah. I'll take a little bit longer. Yeah, fair enough. Sometimes not long, sometimes it takes a bit. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Let me tell you a story about nine-year-old Moses. Okay. Now, sweet nine-year- old Moses weighs 10 kgs.

Which if you were a nine year old child you'd be under a lot. It'd be alarming. Yeah. But if you are a nine year old cat that's too much. I haven't weighed my cat lately but he's definitely six point something. Raleigh's like 4.5.

He's a small cat. You've got a sleek slender small cat. Yeah. Which is fine.5. He's a small cat. Yeah, you've got a sleek, slender small cat. Yeah. Which is fine. And he's still a little bit overweight because he's got a small frame, you know, when you look on top. And it's not supposed to go like that in the middle. Because it's winter, Major Murray Fluffington is snuggling up to me. And the other day he sat on my stomach and I could only handle like five minutes. I was just like, okay, you need to get off.

You are heavy. You should do some like planks or something with him on your back, you know? Yeah. So Moses is a 10 kg cat and he has begun a journey to health. Yep. He is undergoing hydrotherapy in which he's like put into a little harness and put into water so that his little limbs can, you know,

it's a little bit easier to go on walks in a bid to lose a bit of weight. He lives in Warwickshire. Like a walking water treadmill. Yeah. So they put him in this little thing and everyone's like, cats don't like water. And you're like, they're alright. Look, it's like a whole little thing.

His body's out, but his legs are in. He doesn't look that fat. I thought he was going to be fully submerged. Why does he need to be In the water Or his joints a bit I think it's a weight It takes the weight off

It takes the weight off The joints And it just gets him Moving a little bit And you know what He's been going for six weeks And he's lost a kg Oh my god

Do you think he's doing My fitness pal He probably don't keto He put those three biscuits in Well he has been On a controlled diet Which if you've ever We've put our cat On a diet every now and then And it is painful That's a tenth of his Put those three biscuits in. Well, he has been on a controlled diet, which if you've ever,

we've put our cat on a diet every now and then. They hate it though. That's a tenth of his, you said a kg, he's lost a kg and he has 10 kg. So he's lost a tenth of his body weight. Yeah. In six weeks.

Yeah. That's pretty good. Good maths on the fly from you. That's good. Like if you were 100 kgs, that's equivalent to losing 10 kgs. Yeah. In six weeks. In six weeks.

Yeah, if you put it into a bigger scale. Because I remember the last time I went to the vet, because, you know, they're always like, your cat's fat, stop feeding it so much. You're like, whatever. And because she was saying that they get the joints, like it can be really bad for them later in life. And I was like, okay, fair point then.

The owner was like, we've tried to do, you know, it's not neglect. We've tried to do these restricted diets, but it didn't help at all. He is just lazy. He has no interest in going outside, exercising or playing with toys. He just lies there and is like. You can put your cat on a diet. If it's an outside cat, it'll just go get a kitty-do and eat it when you're not home.

But at least it burns calories. Yeah, but. By being outside. But mind you, if it does get a big kereru... That's, yeah, I know that's... That's like Christmas for cats. That's a Christmas day dinner. Every time Rolly brings in a kereru, I'm like, oh, Rolly.

That time, what was it, last week or the week before, it was a kiwi? It was a kiwi. That was insane. That's when, because I was like, well, share some with me because this is probably my only opportunity to try some Kiwi. And he was like, no. This is why by the way, for the record, I'm absolutely

fine with someone putting a date on cats in New Zealand and being like, no more cats after 2030. Oh, shut up. Listen to this guy. Just because your cat's dead. Rolly. We've still got one cat. Oh, yeah. You should see him zoom up a cabbage tree. There of a ketidu, there was a ketidu in the cabbage tree enjoying some

delicious whatever that tree makes. And the cat was just like straight up it. And the ketidu was like, I'm out. You should tell your cat that tree. We have so many ketidu in our backyard, but Rolly is a bit scared of them because he's a small cat. They would actually

eat your cat alive. Yeah, hell yeah. Rolly is a bit scared of them because he's a small cat. They would actually eat your cat alive. Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Something happened to Carwin yesterday, producer Carwin, and she feared for her life. I did.

Guys, you're all lucky that I'm here. So we're lucky that Vaughn's here because we're going to find out later why. He's apparently dying. He's actively dying in the moment. You've all assumed I was dying. In the group chat, very panicky. No, I wasn't panicky.

Fishing for attention, like, you know, say your final words. Yeah, I know. Tell me what you like about me. He was like, scatter my ashes here. We were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, drama queen. Do you remember when people called you a drama queen? Oh, my God, that just really triggered me.

But, Carwin, you also. Because you got it a lot. How often was I called a drama queen? Oh my God, that just really triggered me. But Carwen, you also- Because you got it a lot? How often was I called a drama queen? All the time. Carwen, you also feared for your life yesterday. Yeah, so I was driving just by my house and there were some roadworks. Slow down.

I am a good person. I always do 30. If it's telling me to do 30, I do 30. Oh, same. I ripped a 60 through a 30 yesterday. What? I don't know. I think the roadworkers were like, go girl. They're like, through a 30 yesterday. What? I don't know. I think the road workers

were like, go girl. They're like, I'm so glad that this... I don't know if they are. They're like, whoa, zippy. Look at her go.

Well, anyways, there was a lot of cones because they were using half of, say, my lane so they'd move the lane across so you've got it. Yeah, anyway. So as I'm driving,

just toddling along, singing to whatever's on the radio. Was it ZM? Was it ZM? Obviously. Yeah, great. Good. She's a company girl. That's all I listen to.

Of course. And boom, something, a flash goes in front of me. And then I hear a boof, like, on my car. And I felt it. Like, the car shook. It's not an animal, was it? No. And then I go over it.

And I'm like, oh, gosh, what's just an animal was it? No. And then I go over it and I'm like gosh what's just happened? It was a cone. It flew out at me. I don't think it did fly. It did fly. It was airborne. I think it was on the road. And she's going.

She's Taylor Swifting. And then you just didn't look. No, no, no. It flew out at me. It was airborne. Like, it was, because I can see there's, like, a small little mark where it's hit my licence plate. Oh, what? So had someone else hit it in the other lane and flung it across?

So the person, I observed the person on the other side of the road was going quite fast. Okay, what is it? I observed what I observed. You're not in court. You're not in court. You're not in court, Carwen. It was at that moment that I observed to my left, so my left. This is how females talk now because they listen

to crime podcasts. Yeah, I know. I watch Bridgerton. Yes, yes. It's more of a formal language. Observe your behaviour. See, this is why I mentioned that I was going 30 because the person across from me was not.

Was it Hayley? Was it Hayley? And the road workers threw a cone at Hayley because she's going so fast. I thought they were celebrating me. Yeah, it's Carlin. So what I think happened is that that car clipped it and it's kind of sped out the opposite direction.

Goodness me. So it's because I've run over a cone before. They're quite intense. Yeah. Yeah, it's solid and thick. Okay, yeah. We used to win,

and I'll say this, because I've come a long way, but when I was 18 and I was first driving, we used to go out and like hit them. Yeah. You used to just like

knock them over, like literally like nudge them at a slow speed. Everyone had an old dunger car and you'd be driving along and you'd just open the door and. Yeah. He used to just like knock them over like literally like nudge them at a slow speed. Everyone had an old dunga car and you'd be driving along and you'd just open the door and...

Yeah. That was my car. And of course not encouraging this. The safety of road workers is paramount. Oh no, it was a different time.

Oh no, this was at night when they weren't there as well. Because road workers never work at night? No, no, no. This was just like

if there were cones around on a street or something. No, we'd never do it around the workers. Okay. I wouldn't want to it around the workers. Okay. I wouldn't want to get caught. Do you know... I was going to say I've got nothing but respect for them, but you just don't want to get caught. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah, I didn't want to get caught. Nah. Nah. Nah. Well, we're happy to have you alive here, Carwin. Thank you. Thank you. After such a harrowing drive. Also, I'm surprised... We do as a country have way too many road cones. Yeah, it's an issue. I'm surprised, to be honest, though, that the Nissan Aquar...

It's a Toyota Aquar. It's a Toyota Aquar. Sorry, a Toyota Aquar. It does look like it's got Nissan energy, doesn't it? It does. The Toyota Aquar has huge Nissan energy. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Still need one more. I reckon you'll come up with it. On the fly. Well, yesterday, the Australian Bureau of Statistics released, for some reason, the top places in Australia. I think it was just showing that a lot of places in Australia

are named like Swamp. Right. But they should be called Billabong. Yeah. Because wasn't Billabong... Isn't that the first people... I'm sorry, I'm showing absolute naivete and ignorance. Is it okay to say Australian Aboriginal?

I think so. The first people? Yeah. Of Australia? I'd say so. I do apologise if this is completely unintentional. I mean, maybe you'd be cancelled by the end of the day, but who knows? It'd be nice working with you.

Oh, I did say libtard yesterday and no one did anything. So I'm just really testing how far I can push it now. And now you've said it again today. Yeah, I might just say it again tomorrow as well. See how I can round out this week. It's an Australian term describing a small body of water. Yeah. Usually permanent.

Yeah, billabong. Department of Statistics. Which was weird that a surf brand was called billabong because you'd never surf in a billabong. No, you wouldn't. Oh, true. So the Department of Statistics in Australia released these top places Shrek could live.

Yeah, but it's just a whole lot of places named Swamp. Now, Shannon came to the meeting before the show and said, what about a top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand? And we laughed her off. Usually we'd say, shut up, Shannon! But it is her birthday. And we'd sit her in the corner and say, now you shut it for the rest of the day.

But it's her birthday. It's her birthday. So we're letting her have this one. And Vaughn is going to struggle to find six places in New Zealand that Shrek could live. Okay, done. What's that song from Shrek that I should

play? I'm a believer. I thought love was only true in fairy tales. Obviously Smash Mouth. I'm not going to go with the monkeys. It's got to be Smash Mouth. That guy died, didn't he? Remember that guy's show?

Yeah, unfortunately. He had his demons. I thought love was only true in fairy tales. It really went downhill, didn't it? Someone else, but not for me. Fun karaoke song. Yeah. Love was out to get me. That's the way it seems. Fun karaoke song. Yeah.

That's the way it seems. Now you're putting this off. Top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand. Only because it's Shannon's birthday. I do not like a top six being this hard. Wow. Number six. Because she said it as an example And then thought This is also

Behind the scenes How people give me Top six suggestions They give me one example And then they're just like Done And then we just put up Our feedback

And find more Hamilton Gardens Is number six Oh yeah It's got that lovely Swampy bit This is how Shannon pitched it

He could live in Heaps of places in New Zealand Like Hamilton Gardens And then there was A big pause And she's like, or Egypt. And I was like, oh, am I about to have to explain to Shannon where Egypt is? That Egypt isn't in New Zealand.

No, she meant the Egyptian part. Yes, of Hamilton Gardens. It's not swampy enough. I liked that. It's very harsh. We got a photo, didn't we, in the Hamilton Gardens in the Egypt bit? Yeah. It's so lovely, isn't it?

In the inspired bit. Are they charging for that now, If you're not from Hamilton? Remember they said they were going to charge an entry? Sure enough, it costs the rate payer heaps to keep that.

Oh. I just get mum and dad's electricity bill if we want to go next time. Yeah. As a good idea. Waikato. Yeah.

Residence number five on the list of the top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand. Milford Sound, of course. The wettest place in New Zealand. Very wet. Pretty though. One of the wettest in the world. The annual rainfall is 6,813 millimetres of rain.

Wow. You're a guide. It's like he's a guide at Milford Sound. Did you hear that? This is hot. Guys, I tell you what, we're lucky today because it's not raining. And on average average it rains here 182 days of the year.

Oh. Oh. Colourmantric. And Milford Sound, of course, named after your mum. Wow, why'd you have to do that? That's so nice.

Because she's a milf. And I'd... Yeah. And I'd... She would get it. I'll give her that. Oh, those guides. Those guides are always so wild.

Number four on the list of the top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand, farewell spit. Yep. Why would he live there? Because it's also a wetland. Oh, okay. I didn't know this about farewell spit.

I didn't know that either. I just thought it was a sandy bit. It's a sandy bit, but it's a wetland. Oh, okay. I didn't know this about Farewell Spit. I didn't know that either. I just thought it was a sandy bit. It's a sandy bit, but it's a wetland. Okay. It's a wetland. Number three on the list of the top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand. New Zealand's biggest swamp,

Whangamareno, and just out of Huntly, on the new Stonehoi One, when you're burning down there. Starts at Meri Meri by the dragway and the old power station and ends at Te Koufota. Loop it.

Is that why the road will sink there one day? Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, very wetlands. I'd like to live there. Number two on the list of the top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand.

Did you know the Maori word for swamp is repo? I did not know that. Repo. And you might be familiar with reporoa. Yes. It's a place, reporoa, which means long and wide swamp.

Huh. Okay. That's good. Which results are your mum's nickname in high school? Number one on the list of the top six places. Hold on.

The top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand. If you want it hot and wet, can't go past your mum's place. Oh. That is of the top six places. Hold on. The top six places Shrek could live in New Zealand. If you want it hot and wet, you can't go past your mum's place. Oh. That is today's top six. Hold on. Have some respect. Don't talk to me.

You're probs should be. Wow. Happy birthday, Shannon. I blame Shannon for this top six. Yeah, this is your fault. Clay, Zed Enns, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, we are not dating app experts because the three of us, at least, in this studio, haven't really used Tinder a lot.

I don't speak on behalf of you. Me and Vaughn never have. You've always been in a relationship while dating apps have been a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Same with Vaughn-y. And they look like fun to me, but I know that they're not. They're not, no.

I know that they're not. Because where did you meet Margaret? Stop this. Who, by the way? Who, by the way? Pregnant and recorded on Instagram. This is my fictitious girlfriend. Who we killed.

We killed off at the end of... Live shows. At the live shows. Yeah, she's dead, so I don't know how that's happening. But stop this. The baby's still there anyway. Let's stop this. So there is, I guess, a tactic, an approach that some men are using

to get ahead of the algorithms that are now being used on these apps. Because that is a big complaint about the dating apps is that they basically give you a score. And if you're an attractive female especially, the apps are going to work very well for you. If you're a very attractive male, they're going to work well for you. But if you're not, it's a struggle. There's like an

algorithm so you won't see a certain amount of people, they won't be able to see you so you're getting less matches and the less matches you get, the less your profile is boosted on Tinder. And then that I guess causes people to pay as well. Yeah. So you can pay different levels on whatever app it is.

So they've got it down, right? Yeah. The algorithms, but it's stuffing people up. So someone messaged in, messaged on this Reddit thread, sorry, the Tinder Reddit thread saying, does switching your profile to gay still boost it with women? Because the more likes you get, the more your profile's boosted, the more people are going to see you.

Wait, do you mean would you say you're bi? Or do you mean... Sorry, like queer, yeah, so like opening it to everyone. Right. So not just saying female, male or whatever. So you'd say instead of saying interested in only females, you'd say all. All.

Okay. And then that was the question. And then the thread went crazy. Someone said, I, 21 male straight, turned my Tinder preferences to everyone and got 50 likes in an hour. Someone else said I set my Tinder. But how many of them were dudes?

Yeah, all of them would have been dudes. Like, this guy's hot. No, but once your profile gets that boost, then you toggle it back to women only. And then the assumption is that you're more popular because you've had 50 likes. This all just sounds like a massive cover-up from a guy who's not ready to tell his mates he's gay yet.

A little bit. Like they found his Tinder on his phone or someone's like, did you see Steve's? Are you open to everything, Steve? You're calling it like farming. Okay. So you go on and you're like, I'm just farming for some likes

and then I'll reap the rewards. Why do we have the algorithms? Why can't they just show everyone? I don't know. And why can't everyone just be on a level playing field? In the past, Tinder's algorithm used to be based on the EL Elo rating system, originally developed for ranking chess players.

This algorithm helped gauge the attractiveness and popularity of users within the app. Every new user on the app started with a baseline score. Yeah. And then this score changed based on how others interacted with your profile. If they liked you, your score went up. The fewer users that showed interest, your score might go down from that baseline. And so people are going, if you just open it to everyone and you get more likes because you're getting likes

from men, women, and everyone, then you're more likely to get boosted up. And then you just do a little quick toggle back to hetero land. But that's kind of like gay baiting though, eh? A little bit. And also, yeah, the poor, like if you were a straight male who would then open it to everyone, there are men on there looking for love and then they'd be like, oh, he looks nice.

He looks nice. And you're just like, I'm just here. I'm just like farming. I'm only here for the algorithm. I'm here to fix my algorithm. But if anybody can appreciate that, it's going to be the gays. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, fair call. So, I didn't realise this.

Dating apps are overwhelmingly male dominated. Of course they are. Of course they are. I don't know why I thought that the girlies would be on there being like, wee hee hee. No. Two to one, generally. Two to one. Did you watch the Ashley Madison documentary? Yeah, but that's a different thing. That's a cheating app.

That was cheating. And it was just loaded with dudes. It was like 85% men. And lots of the women were fake. Yeah, yeah, and heaps of them were fake. Who's making fake? What the site is. That was what was in the thing was to say to men, we've got heaps of women on here.

And they did it. And so they'd get people in their call centre to make fake profiles. Because you paid for per page. So it would give you 30 results if you want to see the next 30. You had to pay for it. So they'd pay for it. So, of course, the more results they had. Yeah.

Yeah, but there were, like, no women on there. But I've always assumed dating apes, also apes, young haves, way more men on there than women. Oh, interesting. I don't know why. Maybe because, you know, I've got lots of female friends on the apps. Well, maybe that's something for the gays to watch out for. If you suddenly see lots of hot men popping up in your region, they're probably straight just trying to get the algorithm in their favour.

But do them a favour. Give them a like. You know what I mean? Help a brother out. Also, let's be honest. If you match, maybe they will. Yeah, probably. Everyone's a little bit gay. Everyone's a little bit gay.

Everyone's a little bit gay, especially these days. We're all a little bit gay, right? Right, Fawn? Is that why you've got a picture of Chloe Swarbrick taped to the monitor? Can we get this laminated, please? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley silly little poe

silly little poll Of course the Northern Hemisphere summer in full swing Some heat waves in the United States at the moment. Also a lot of fashion events worldwide and in particular Paul Meskell has taken the internet by the throat. Because

he has been out rocking both casual and formal shorty shorts. And I'm talking not just above the knee, I'm talking the upper heart of... My grandad's era walking shorts with a pulled up

sock. You know, this summer I was rocking the blue shorty shorts. Yeah, I know. You look good, but not Paul Meskel good. He does not skip leg day. Jesus Louisa. So I've seen him in a O'Neill sports short and I am seeing all sorts of muscles.

An O'Neill sports short? Like an O'Neill surf brand? Yeah. Oh God, look at that. Crikey dick. Karwin said to me that she didn't expect me to be a Paul Meskel girl, but I am for some reason. Because of? He's not tall. I think normal people. Yeah. He looks like 5'9 to me. I know, I know. Is he

not tall? Is he not tall? No he gives short energy He's 1.8 Oh that's perfect I'm 179cm That's 5'11 You'll be kissing at the same level I'm 5'10 3 quarters But you know actors always add Because what did you add to your profile?

No I deduct I say I'm 5'10 And men add because they want to be intimidating. Right. And me and Ad, because they want to be intimidating. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, shorty shorts, like really short. Because I'm sorry.

I'm sorry with the return of the big baggy at the knee. Andrew Scott's short. Yeah, I knew he'd be short. Yeah, he's short. How tall is he? He's 5'8". Okay. So it is, you're full circle there. Same height line down there, aren't we?

The denim, is it the, you know, the three-quarter jean baggy shorts? And do you know, yesterday I saw someone at the gym in DC skate shoes. I was like, we have come full circle. I know. They were so comfortable. Are there any photos, though, that we look back at us wearing DC etnies and we're like, cool. I know, but there's some of the photos that I've seen of you guys this year

because you were going through the archives. That's so much of it's back in fashion. Oh, my God. It's all back in fashion. I know. You're fashion kings. Before your time. We were.

They look at us now and think, how embarrassing. What? With our slim leg jeans and our shorty shorts. I know. I can't go baggy jeans. I like my slim jeans. No, I know. And that is today's silly little poll,

is what do you think about shorty shorts? Shorty shorts on the boys. Well, here's the results. 66% said not for me. What? 34% said hot. I think it's hot. But it's the man that makes the short.

The short doth not make the man. No, I don't know. I would love to see a slim man in a short short. I would love to see a big boy in a short short. A big chunky boy with a nice pair of legs. Bronte messaged saying, it's unfair if it's Paul Mescal. He can wear anything. Yeah. And so that's the man making the short, not the short making the man.

He could wear a tutu and I'd be like, yep. Lucille says, hello, Rugby League. Lucille. Yeah, Lucille 2. Which one, Bluth or Lucille 2? The Vertigo one. Okay. Buster.

Buster. She said, Rugby League. Hello. Yes. AFL shorts are shorter than Rugby League shorts. Oh, my God. I know. Yeah.

And they're athletic. And they're so athletic, too. They're so athletic. They're like little springy. I thought AFL would be too skinny for you. Oh, no, no, I know. But what a body to look at. Because when I, last time I was in Melbourne,

the AFL was happening and I was like, they all look like delicious homosexual men. They're not though. They're football player bodies. They've got like European football league. I also follow some Australian rugby teams like Union. Oh, Union. Far out.

The thighs on these men. Union is just getting bigger. The lads are just getting thicker and thicker. Yes. There was a guy playing for the Chiefs. And they show them pulling up those shorts and stuff, and then they're like massive quads come out. God, she's a horn dog.

Mouldie Duke playing for the Chiefs last week. Have you watched any Super Rugby this season? No. I'm going horn dog. Mouldy dude playing for the Chiefs last week. Did you watch any Super Rugby this season? No. I'm going to watch the final of the season just because the Chiefs are in it.

But there was this dude playing. Fuck! This guy was a monster. I was like, just looking at him, I was like, out of his way.

I think that's why Union's better because they've got a bit of fat on them. Rugby league's got the best of both worlds, I think. It's got the slimmer, quicker dudes that AFL might be giving you, as well as the fickies. The muscle.

The union. I like a bit of fat. I like a little bit of... No, we've already done that for final rankings, haven't we? Hot sports. Yeah, we've done that. And I remember that took us a while to get through. We've done that.

You said diving, didn't you? I mean, he's not wrong. Slim. Slim. They look good in the Speedos, but if you just saw them walking down the street, you'd be like, that's a slim boy. Yeah.

That's a wee fellow. But then they take off their clothes, and you're like, Stacked. Stacked and jacked. Hot except when old mate steps up to the pisser and whips it out of his leg holes. Sorry!

You know guys do this. They go to the urinal, and rather than pull their shorts down and put it over the leg hole, they just pull up the leg hole. My dad always wore short shorts. His nickname was Shorts. He still wears shorts.

He still wears shorts. Would he flop it out the bottom? He'd flop it out the bottom, because I just grew up thinking that's how everybody did it on the farm. He still wears shorts. He still wears shorts. Would he flop it out the bottom? He flopped it out the bottom because I just grew up thinking that's how everybody did it on the farm. I had no idea. Did you have no idea guys do this?

I had no idea. It's quite disgusting. It feels a bit like a brag. No, I mean it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Or you're hitching it right up to an undie. Or you pull up the short a little bit too. It's just because it's easy.

You don't have to flop it over the top. Can I just say, a Dan who messaged that in, old mate's easy. You don't have to flop it over the top. Can I just say, Dan who messaged that in, old mate steps up to the pisser and whips it out the leg hole. It might just be, that's modern poetry. That is beautiful.

Whips it out the leg hole is really good. Steps up to the pisser and whips it out the leg hole. Dan? Put it in a book. Guys still do this. It's wild.

That's crazy. I had no idea. The Canterbury shorts with the pockets drool. My fella has strong tanned legs and wears shorts 365. Are you going to need to see a photo? Yeah, prove it. We've got her social media account here. That hasn't been blocked.

Do you want me to do this now? I don't know. I'm all flustered. Okay. I'm all flustered. Okay. I'm so flustered. You read all this erotic literature and now it's bleeding into real life. It is. I can't escape it.

Here she is. Okay, we don't need to do this now, Vaughn. Oh, no. She's in the New Zealand timber sports. Axes and saws and such. She is. So he is too. Oh, no.

So you know in the short shorts he's got a couple of trunks there. He's got a couple of trunks. Oh wow. Okay. She's got the shoulder, the jacked shoulders I can see in the profile picture. I need to leave. Has there ever been a couple that's ticked more boxes

for Sproul than that? Don't talk about boxes. Five and a half inch inseam or less. That's what Ali says. Oh, okay. That's short. She knows her inseams. Alex says, as a straight man, I've seen too many balls from other men in short shorts at the gyms.

No thank you from me. I think it's so funny seeing someone's balls through shorts. Anytime it's happened, be it a tradie or Aaron, I'm always like, that's so funny. But some balls. Just a little side. It's funny. Kate says, hot, but usually means rugby boy

and that's a red flag. Oh, yeah. Really? Dirtbag. Mr. Hake says, let's just say not for me. Let's just say not for me's Let's just say not for me's are heteros with chicken legs. But that's you.

You've got your chicken legs and you'll do a short. Yeah, I reckon you can get out. But the short, short, the chicken leg, the bottom, I'm exactly like a chicken leg. The top half's edible. The bottom half's pretty much bone. Yeah. So short shorts do me a bit of a favour because they show off the quads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The quads and the hammocks. Yeah. So short shorts do me a bit of a favour because they show off the quads.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The quads and the hammocks. Yeah. You generally like your board shorts down your shin. I like down my shins, my dude.

If I'm out there listening to Korn with my homie. And then it pretty much goes end of the shorts, sock, and then the DC or it may.

Yeah, yeah. There's just a flash of ankle. If I die before I wake, at least in heaven I can skate. Oh, my God. Shane says anyone that says no is clearly straight. Yep.

Amy says yucky, yucky, yucky. Put it away. No one wants to see it. Oh, Amy, I beg to differ. We've heard from many people who find it hot and horny. Even as a half pie? Great song. Today is Shannon's birthday.

It is! Producer Shannon's birthday, who, by the way, turns, I believe, 25 today. So you are now the same age as Carwen. Yeah, riddle that. I feel like she's a real adult with responsibilities and I'm here asking you how far away I live from the Sky Tower because I'm scared of it. Yeah.

Couple of young, fresh chickens aren't ya? Wait, I thought you were a millennial. No, you always say this. I turn 26 next month. I'm not that much older than her. You're a Genial. No, you always say this. I turn 26 next month. I'm not that much older than her. Okay, so you're a Gen Z. You've just got a millennial vibe about you. Thank you. It's because you're

in charge of us, Carly, and we look to you as an authoritative figure. I think technically I'm like on the cusp of both or something. Jared's full-blown millennial. I'm an X-ennial. I'm on the cusp as well. So you just pick, it's like being on the cusp of the star sign. Star sign, you just pick whatever you like. Which

everyone suits you on that day. Yeah. I'm just smack right millennial. Also, it's Shannon's birthday, which is really exciting. Also, host of the podcast, Sex.Live. Morgan Penn. Morgan Penn, it's her birthday. It is her birthday. We've been friends for years. That's why I always know that my birthday

is three days after hers. Yeah. Well, it's my dad's on Tuesday if we want to just keep going. Yeah, but this is the problem is that when we hired Shannon, did we know that her birthday was three days before mine? Because that's not on. We didn't. Also, we didn't hire her. Wait, that hurts.

No, I just mean we didn't all come together and say, right. We did our best not to. To be honest, we was like, absolutely not. I'm not having another beautiful woman here. Carwen's already distracting enough. Well done. Yeah, I'm back. I'm happy.

That was good for you. Thank you. But I'm just going forward. This is kind of stealing my thunder because my birthday's on Sunday. Is this what this is about? Tomorrow should be all about me, but we're already doing birthday stuff today. I know. I know. But look, tomorrow. I know. I know. Look,

tomorrow... Going forward, all new hires... Do you want her to pick her a new birthday? Need to have a birthday at least a month away. I can pick a new one. What do you want? That would be nice. Well, can I get like an August or something? Because then I get a second one this year. I'll pick... No, you're not getting another one this year. Don't go June and August. It's two winter birthdays.

You've got to have a summer birthday. As someone with a summer birthday, it rules. Do a half year. I've got October. I've got October, which is like things are warming up. Anyone's excited that it's warming up. Spring. Spring birthday.

That's cool. Why don't you go three days before Hayley's birthday? Oh, that would be lovely. October 5th. That's fine. Wait a minute. I said October 5th, which is three days before your birthday, the 8th of October, and no one was like,

well done for remembering that. I know you, February 20th. Yeah, okay, great. Yeah. June 23rd. Three days from now. June 23rd. Yes, thank you for remembering.

Yeah. No, my birthday's crowded. My brother's the 7th of October. Aaron's the 6th. You. Aaron's the 6th. You can't have the 5th. Growing up, your brother... Yeah, we had year-on, year-off party. Oh.

I know. Wait, I thought you were rich. I thought that was just for poor kids like us. We were allowed two big birthday parties, our 5th and our 10th, and other than that, it was maybe one friend around. Year-on, if you were on the off year,

you got to choose where we went out for dinner as a family and then the other person had the always or Maharajahs, R.A.P. And then,

then that person got, the other one got the party and they did a switch. Can you tell me more about Maharaj? Yes. Maharajahs was, I love hearing about

people's restaurants they went to as families that don't exist anymore. That don't exist anymore. They don't exist anymore. Well, this only closed this year. Oh. I know, devastated.

Maharajah's was an Indian restaurant in Petone, in the heart. And every single year- Indian restaurant in the 90s. Very advanced. I know. Culture family. I know, I know. Thank you.

Namaste. What we- But they used to do this lemon honey butter chicken that was like cream lemon and honey you've talked about this before I've talked about it before

oh my god and I apologise to our Indian listeners because it's not for I know this is not traditional when I think of India

I think of lemons and cream cream lemon and honey yeah and then my mum used to do a version of it but apparently it's just closed

because they're turning that whole strip into bloody apartments. And I said, I still remember the owner's name because we'd always walk in and he'd be like, hey Patsy, have you sold any houses? You know, because she was a real estate agent.

And then I'd go in as an adult because I'd still go every single year until they left Wellington for my birthday. And he'd always say, hello Hayley, happy birthday. Anyway, RIP Maharaj birthday anyway there's one called RIP Maharaj's

there's one called Maharaj Dine and Takeaway in Otaju in Auckland it won't be the same it's not rum by the sand they won't have the lemon

honey I want to try that now can we just I'll make it for you one day because we worked out the recipe well the Pakeha version of already a Pakeha

version can we double white just your birthday we shall celebrate worked out the recipe. Well, the Pakeha version of already a Pakeha version. Can we... Your birthday we shall celebrate tomorrow. Yes. But Shannon, we do have a little gift for you that Cowan's just going to give you a little gift. We thought it would be something that you would use

and enjoy. Can I say also, Paulie, our security guard who works overnight here, thought your name was Shane for the last three years. I've never corrected him. I said, oh, because we had the, Carmen put the card at the desk so that as we all came in one by one this morning, we were signing it.

And then I was writing, oh, have you got Shannon's card? And he was like, man, I've been calling her Shane this whole time. I was like, I reckon she's all right. Yeah, because when he asked me what my name was, I said Shannon or you can call me Shan and I think he just took liberties from there. Shane. He's a

lovely man. I'm not going to be like, it's Shannon. Right, well just before you get to that gift card, just remember that is a cost of living crisis. It's a spot like gift card. Just quickly on Maharajas. Yep. Somebody said they're rebuilding Maharajas I've asked where I've asked what the deal is

Somebody else misses it too Somebody said you need to come to Dunedin We still have a Maharajas No but it's not Vasant's Maharajas But do they have the recipe though? The lemon honey butter chicken Only Vasant has it

Somebody else said happy birthday It's my wedding anniversary And the anniversary of the Bain family. He's already feeling crowded by Shannon. I don't need the Bain family. Do you remember as a child the Bain family moves raining on your parade in 1995? It was all that was on the news and I was like, but mum, it's my birthday. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Okay. How this all started was I saw a video on Instagram Reels, which is sort of a refined gentleman's TikTok. Thank you, it is. For us refined gentlemen, we prefer it. Yeah, we let it ferment in the yucky cesspool that is TikTok and only the finest rise to the top to become Instagram Reels with TikTok logos still embedded in them.

That just means you're old. So I was watching Instagram Reels and I saw some Gen Zs reacting to old Eminem lyrics. Because his new song literally sounds like it could have come out in 2004, right? That's why he did it. That's why he did it. He's like, everybody keeps asking me for Shady. Everyone keeps asking.

You're going to get one more and then that's it. I'm a big Eminem fan, but I have always appreciated his lyrical prowess. The dude, the dude can rap. And he's clever, like his literature is clever, but the content is horrible. Yeah, yeah.

So, you playing Eminem in the back? That's dangerous. That's a dangerous sport. Then on the way, straight after I watched that, I put India up for a netball practice and I was taking her to hockey. And so, Eminem was in playing on the way, straight after I watched that, I put Indy up for a netball practice and I was taking her to hockey. And so Eminem was in playing on the radio. Because after that, I was like, I've got to listen to that song that they were reacting to.

But then when Indy jumped in the car, I was like, so inappropriate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fast forward to the next song, which was Rap God. And Indy said, isn't this the one that he raps really fast? And I was like, how do you know that? And she's like, oh, I've seen it online. So we listened to that.

And then we listened to a couple of other Eminem songs. And it kind of kicks out of this little, and this new song, this little Eminem renaissance in our house. Yeah, I love it. And last night, Sade and I were listening to some very early Eminem and wildly inappropriate Eminem to listen to around the children. And it reminded me that even like the big radio hit at the time

that came out in 1999 was My Name Is. And my mum, when we were going in the car, very rarely were we allowed to pick what we were going to listen to. But it was 1999,

my brother wasn't at home anymore. There was only two kids in the back seat and they realised there was peace and quiet because my sister and I got along very well and my brother was the problem

all along. And it's remained that way to this day. Exactly. So we got to pick songs and I think I just turned on a radio station and the Eminem song My Name Is was playing and it got to the part where he says something about his mother and

how are you going to feed me mum? You ain't got how are you going to breastfeed me mum? You ain't got, how are you going to breastfeed me, mum? You ain't got no breasticles. And my mum was like, absolutely not. And turned it off. The whole song had been full of like inappropriate lyrics.

Yeah. That one part, mum was like, absolutely not. And like every time she heard that song after she'd be like, change station. Like, nope, not that song.

So that was the song that we weren't like, my mum was a big no-no on anything Marilyn Manson because she totally bought into the satanic panic of the 90s. Oh, yeah, but that was big. The 7 o'clock news shows really kicked up a stink about Marilyn Manson. Oh, they blamed Columbine on him and all that kind of stuff and rap music and metal music.

I mean, hindsight, he was a piece of shit. Imagine my parents panicked because I got really into Eminem about 13 and then I turned straight into a goth and then replaced one Eminem for another Eminem, which was Marilyn Manson. And they were just like, what is happening in this room? But my mum, they didn't really listen to the lyrics. But did they ban any songs? No, they laughed at me.

I imagine that my dad would have done the same back in the day with like Deep Purple or something. Every teen has the rebellious stuff that their parents don't like and that's what makes it cool. But also if you react to a song and you react to that, you're just going to push them further.

Yeah, totally. So we haven't got any outlawed songs but if I know a song's going to be bad, I'll be like, just subtly skip forward to the next song. Yes. But we want to know from you. Because what do your daughters think the new Billie Eilish song,

I can eat that girl for lunch, is about? Cannibalism. Yeah, that's right. Which is significantly worse than what it's actually about, which is just a lesbian crush. Yeah.

They think it's about Billie Eilish being so rich and famous, she's going to eat someone. Some text messages are already coming through. This song here, do you remember this song? 303, Don't Trust Me. This was banned in their house. This song. But not because it consistently says,

don't trust a hoe throughout it. Yeah. The line. Fast forward, and I think we're pretty close to the lyric. This part? This part. Shut your lips to the Helen Keller and talk with your hips. Oh.

Oh, no. Someone messaged you. Their dad had a bad problem with that. Like, that was racist. Really? Okay. She is an author. She's a hero. An advocate.

Yeah. And talk with your hips. Oh, my Lord. Someone said some Instagram responses to get us started while you guys text in and call us on $800. God, that was smooth actually from me. Doing a couple here, drip feeding,

encouraging people to call. Yeah. Are you just- Take notes, radio students. You guys are students of my radio. Let me take some notes. Pat yourself on the, and also radio students,

pat yourself on the back mid-break. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta do that. I know it's important and to say it out loud so that management hear it and they're like, they're actually dead right. That's the equivalent of just announcing to the office that you've got to do that. I know it's important to say it out loud so that management hear it and they're like, they're actually dead right.

It's the equivalent of just announcing to the office that you've done something. Michelle said, it wasn't even music when I was a kid. I wasn't allowed to listen to Fletch and Vaughan when I was seven and eight. Oh! I mean, the more offensive thing is

Michelle's now an adult. How could she possibly have been listening to us because we've been on air together for 20 years? But we're still children. Okay, give us a call 0800 dials at M 9696 to text in smooth faith

smooth there for me smooth pat yourself on the back but then you stumbled through there then you stuffed it up didn't you but right now

we're talking about the songs that you weren't allowed to listen to as a young person banned banned in this Christian household.

We ain't going to be having this filth in our house with the Lord. It's the devil's music. Some messages in. My older sister gave me a burnt copy of an Eminem album for my 13th birthday. On the family stereo, that lasted one verse before Dad shut it off with a, what is this shit?

Yeah. After he heard something. It's always older brothers, eh? Corrupting you, being like, burnt you some M&M. Put it in your discman. Have a listen to this one. My 11-year-old has sung the words from Super Freaky.

Oh, yeah. It can be a little bit. Oh, my parents were anti-Bloodhound Gang. The Bloodhound Gang. I mean, it was a bad. It sounded comical, and then you'd listen to the lyrics, and you're like, well, this is quite full noise. Quite full noise.

This is so fun. This beat is sick. I want to take a ride on your disco stick. My dad was happily singing along to this Lady Gaga song with the lyrics, I want to take a ride on your disco stick, with me and two of my friends in the car. We were 16 years old at the time,

and everyone was laughing, and he's like, what's so funny? And then one of my friends told him what a disco stick was. Dad two of my friends in the car we were 16 years old at the time and everyone was laughing and he's like what's so funny and then one of my friends told him what a disco stick was Dad it's a dick It's a dick You want to take a ride

on the disco stick Dad You want to take a run on the dick Dad Pretty hard case That's funny Was it Akon that had the song with the lyrics

I just had sex and it feels so good I mean Smack That wasn't a great song. No? No. Because, boy, I get in some trouble playing that song at home one time. Oh, my God.

Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends. But, you know, who understands those rap guys? That's rap guys. They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute. Oh, my God. Her butt.

I mean, her butt. This was banned? Also, this is such clean rap, really. Very clean. He just likes big butts. Yeah. That's all. I like him round.

And also, he is a member of the Queen's service. He's a sir. You other brothers can't deny. Yes. When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung. So this song was banned? That's right.

Somebody said my mum absolutely hated this song. It was the intro. It was the talking part of the intro. She heard that. She would just tap it out immediately. Caitlin's called through. Caitlin, how old are you? Because are you currently banned from a song?

I'm banned from like three artists when my brother's in the room. How old are your brothers? My brother's 10. Okay. And what artists did mum and dad say you're not allowed to listen to in front of him? Nicki Minaj,

Cardi B, Doja Cat. Yeah, all of those. They're all heathens. It feels racist to me. Yeah, I'll say it. It does feel racially charged, actually. Is it because they're racy or a different race?

No, it's just because their lyrics are full noise. Yeah, they are full noise. Catchy songs, though. Catchy pop songs. Yeah, and so catchy that as a parent, you might not even know what they're saying. No, until you're singing along. Yeah, yeah.

And whoopsie-daisy. So what do you do, Caitlin? Just airpods in? No, I have a radio that I listen to you guys on, home-built. And I think my brother walked in as lunch came on the other day. Hang on, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

A home-built radio? What are you like in a prisoner of war camp and trying to get some message through to the Allies? Yeah, what? What is happening? What are you like In a Ham In a prisoner of war Like camp And trying to get Some message through To the allies Yeah what What is happening

At Chisholm Last year We got like A course Where we built A radio With like a Circuit board

And LEDs and stuff Oh my god What This is Hey this is our secret To getting back in With the kids Is give them

All radios I love this. Amazing, Caitlin. Thank you. Some more messages in. I wanted Coolio's Gangster's Paradise when I was 13, but it had an R18 sticker on it, so I took my mum to the music store and bought the single on tape. Now I realise my mum is

pretty cool. We're actually hearing from a lot of cool mums. I know. Who want to be the cool mum. It does take a while to realise your parents are cool. And Sade does this as well when she takes the kids to a sports day or the other day they went planting out at the beach in the sand dunes and stuff. She lets them pick the music. Oh, nice.

Now, I got in trouble because apparently I played this for an Indian, one of her friends, Layla. Dennis Leary's 1990s absolute classic hit, Arsehole. I'm an arsehole. I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole. He's an asshole. They loved it so much, they requested it,

and they introduced it to more and more friends every time. So I'm just waiting to hear from one of the more conservative parents about the fact that their child is now singing. I remember growing up, and one of my friend's fathers taught me the song, There's a friggin' in the riggin'. Because there's this whole louse to do.

Wow, okay, yep. And I remember going up and down the beach as like a 12-year-old singing, there's a friggin' in the riggin'. As someone with a whopping mortgage, I sort of like this approach. I don't often agree with a lot of Gen Z's habits. Doom spending is basically the idea

that 20-somethings feel like the chance of ever like owning a house and like getting ahead financially in life is so unobtainable in this cosy,

livy cry. You know, you've got to have at least a million dollars. Yeah, and just look at house prices. It's insane. Exactly.

Well, I wish they'd go up. I wish they'd become more obtainable. You want to shut the door behind you. Pull the ladder up behind you. I just got in

and zhoom, zhoom, zhoom, zhoom, zhoom, the ladder's coming up. See you later. Good luck. It's so boomer of you. But with all of the door behind you. Pull the ladder up behind you. I just got in and the ladder's coming up. See you later. Good luck. That's so boomer of you. But with all of this, thank you. With all of this, Gen Z's are doom spending. Basically going like, I cannot get a mortgage. Why bother even working towards that?

I'm going to live in the here and now. I'm going to spend my money. I'm going to buy things that make me happy in the now. Just marry a rich man. And don't worry about saving in the future because you know what? The world's probably going to blow up anyway. Implode, yeah.

Is this relatable to Gen Z's? Yeah, absolutely. You know, I'm never going to own a house, but I can own a cute dress. Yeah, exactly. And do you know what? Life is finite. It sounds way more fun.

Yeah, and I'm just like, I'm here. That's all I know. I'm here. That's all I know. I'm here and that's all I know. That almost could go on a horse. I'm here and that's all I know. Well, today, you know, it's my quarter-life crisis. I'm more treating it like a half-life crisis. Do you save?

No. Karwin, do you save? Yeah, to be fair, I do save, and I'm relatively good at it. But I will be like, could I put this $5.60 on KiwiSaver, or could I buy myself a coffee in this moment? Yeah, like I've got like a second bank account called Try Not To Spend It Bestie, and there's 38 cents in there right now. No lie.

How's that Try Not To Spend It Bestie thing going? Well, it's hard to spend 38 cents because you can't actually buy anything. Or get it out. Now, joining us in the studio is our beloved friend Bryn Rudkin from the newsroom.

Kia ora Bryn. Kia ora. Ke te pere koe? Ke te nge nge. I'm tired. Just a little translation. I'm a little bit tired. Yeah. little translation. I'm a little bit tired.

Yeah. Now, you are requesting a little bit of, I don't know, a vibe check? Some help? Yeah, some guidance. Okay. From the experts in this room. Because usually we feel very guided by you in the current events of the world. Yes.

The tables have turned, haven't they? Yeah, they have. Well and truly. What are you up to? Why is your name printed so big on your swipe card? Oh, my God. Why are you doing that? Wait, your name printed so big on your swipe card? Oh, my God. Why are you doing that? Wait, what do you mean?

Oh, wait, is mine big? No, mine's tiny. Mine's the perfect size of my identification. Yeah, mine's good. I think ours are all good size. Yours is too big. Say it how it's written. Hayley Sproul.

Carl Fletcher. Vaughn Smith. Yeah. Bryn Rudkin. Bryn Rudkin! Bryn Rudd King. Bryn Rudd King! Bryn Rudd King! Yeah, wow. Sorry, we didn't mean to roast you.

Sorry, that's a Joe Riddell question, I think. Okay, she's in charge of the font size, is she? Yeah. She's done that. Maybe you're a favourite because she's put you in a bigger font. We went to the Warriors together. Okay. Did you?

Did you? That's a story for another day. Okay, it sure is. Wait, do you primarily date sort of older women? You went on the date with the senior or clairvoyant? I didn't think it was a date. There is a pattern.

We're not here to kink shame. You're not here to ask about dating advice. No, well I thought I might get into another industry. Oh, don't leave us. We love you. Well, well yeah i thought about getting into comedy oh gosh okay where all the money is yeah big money comedians famously doing well at the moment yeah really doing well okay what you're doing um someone said thank you um you what kind

of comedy like stand up yeah just on the stage in a microphone so you're comedy? Like stand-up? Yeah, just on the stage in a microphone. So you're going to do a stand-up set? I'm doing one tonight. Are you? Yeah. Whereabouts? At the Home of Comedy. The classic?

The classic in Auckland. Wow. Right, so you've just signed up for this. Is it like some kind of... Do you know, it's because I always hate getting asked if I've got hobbies or interests. And you don't have any? I don't have any.

News and current affairs. Yeah. Yeah, right. Watching the six o'clock news. Why did you dive into? The deep end of the hobby pool. Yeah. Somebody could go so horribly wrong and leave you feeling terrible.

You could have gone into like flower arranging or cake decorating. Both these boys who I think are very hilarious men would never do stand-up comedy. Oh, horrible. No, thank you. Whereas I'm not. Well, you're putting me off now. Whereas Hayley loves the attention. I do love the attention. And you've said this, you just wouldn't want to fail.

You wouldn't be up on stage with no one laughing. Yeah, and I don't need the outside validation. Because you pat yourself on the back enough. Speaking into a microphone. I couldn't do this if people were sitting here watching. Oh, yeah, yeah. True, true. I wouldn't need it.

Okay, so what have you got prepared for you? Do you want to try some jokes or do you want to... I could try a joke now, if you like. Can I ask... Try a joke. I could do a suggestion.

We vibe together. Well, that's a great start. Is it a fair question to ask, like, what kind of comedian will you be? What kind of comedian do you see yourself as? Yeah, or do you have any inspirations?

Either there's musical comedy or there's like shock comedy. There's one-liners. There's sort of storytelling comedy. Or like very physical comedians. Yeah, yeah, prop comedy, absurdist. I haven't really done that much research. I'm not a big fan of comedy, to be honest. Okay, so you thought you'd try honest. You don't like to laugh?

You don't like to laugh? Hell of a... Well... Hell of a thing to get into if you don't really know it. Wait, and now you're just going to do a gig tonight as part of a, like, first-timers comedy night? Well, I've done funerals before. I've made a TikTok video.

Okay. So I've got a bit of experience. People love you when you're on our show and they think you're very funny. Oh, well the news can be funny. No, no, no. When you talked about your date. The news is seldom funny. When you talked about the date with the clairvoyant, people said more Bryn.

More Bryn. More Bryn is needed. I have got a bit about psychic in my show tonight. Okay. But I'm not going to do that joke. Okay, you want to save it. Don't blow your whole material here. I know. Okay. Do you want to test a joke? Okay. Yeah, shall we test one?

Yeah. If it's not funny, just laugh anyway. Of course we will. That's what they've always done for me all the time. I do that forewarned every day. Yeah. Okay, so I'll just check my notes here. All right, well, it's his first time up on stage.

We're delighted to have him. Please welcome to the stage, Brian Rodkin. Thank you. Salt. Are you going to say kia ora? Oh. Kia ora, good evening. I'm Bryn Rudkin.

Kia ora, good evening. I'm Bryn Rudkin. I've got salt here. What's that about? What's salt about? Yeah, you know, like the seasoning. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So the audience won't. No, no, no. We'll give you. You keep going. Yeah. We'll do feedback after. Yeah. So the audience won't. No, no, no. We'll give you. You keep going. Yeah. We'll do feedback after. Yeah. You're sort of ruining the flow.

Yeah, sorry, sorry. I was going to say there's a lack of flow. But you can't just read out the list of things and say, what's that about? The audience won't respond. I've got, there's a lot of salt out there at the supermarket. I actually can't remember why I've written it down. I think I was just

I've got tears. I'm laughing because otherwise I feel like I'm crying. No, I think what I was going to do, I was going to freestyle this bit. Do a bit of crowd work, as they say in the industry. On salt. Okay, people are loving this. I don't know if people are loving it.

Oh, wait, I've got sesame oil underneath. Oh, I've got the wrong note. Give me your shopping list. Yeah, this is my Chinese degustation. That's good. Okay, that's good, actually. That's good. That's good.

Sorry, I need to bring up my other notes. What did you say? Degustation? Yeah, I had a Chinese degustation last Friday. Typically, you wouldn't bring out your phone. Okay, Fletch is in tears. Typically you wouldn't bring out your phone on stage for a gig.

Okay, weird baby names. Okay, great. But how are you going to get into it? You've got to find your way into it. Maybe come out and say, yeah, anyone, make some noise if you've got babies. Your name's an unusual name Is it?

Well I'm allowed to say that because my name's a little bit unusual Yeah So you could come out and I'm Bryn you might be thinking, not Brian, get that a bit Yeah, Uber drivers Yeah, yeah Just chuck that in there, that's a whole tangent Oh when they pick you up

I reckon you need to come out in crowd work and be like, have anyone recently had a baby? Well, that's what I was going to do with the salt. The salt is a little bit. Need some workshopping. Someone said Bryn is top tier comedy. Okay. I haven't done any jokes yet.

Yeah, I know. We're waiting for one. Okay, so baby names. Baby names. Bryn, not Brian. You can imagine what it was like growing up. Yeah, and they'll. Okay, so baby names. Baby names. Brin, not Brian. You can imagine what it was like growing up. Yeah, and they were saying, I had a baby. Unusual name as a baby.

What would you name the baby? Oh, Janine. Yeah. And then you keep going. Back to you. And back to you. Eyes on you. How long's your seat?

It's about five minutes. I think the red light's flashing at this point. 30 seconds remaining. I've been warned about the red light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so Hayley's just set you up with the- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, she's just had a baby. Oh, I've just had red light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, so Hayley's just set you up with the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, she's just had a baby.

Yeah. Have you? Yeah. Are you in the crowd? Am I doing crowd work right now? I'm in the crowd. I'm in the crowd. We're role playing.

She's going to set you up. Hayley's not coming tonight. I'm not coming. Although I think we should now. I think we might be changing my evening plans. Yeah, I'm going to need some backup. Bryn for Prime Minister. Okay, so you've just asked who's had a kid.

I've had a kid. Okay. Oh, what's its name? Carl. Carl. Oh. Is that weird? No, it's a family name.

Okay, we'll move on to the next person in the crowd. Oh, yeah. Typically Thursday night. You might not have that many. Okay. This is going terribly No it's going Get on to your joke

Get on to your joke About the name Sydney I've had a baby I thought I'm Sydney I haven't figured out My punchline yet Well no you can't

You've got to get into it You've got to get into the joke first You can't just write Baby names And expect the rest To just happen I'm sort of observational Okay I'm flashing the light

I'm flashing the light You need an out Yeah Like it's alright What do you mean an out. Like, it's all right if the crowd... What do you mean an out? He hasn't given an out. But if the crowd work's not working, you need an out. Don't they just play music and you walk off the stage to get out?

No, no, no. They flash the light. If you want to do it once. Oh, yeah. Well, can you think of a baby name joke? Yeah. Well, my nickname was BJ. Great.

At school. Yeah. Fairly innocent when I was six. Yeah. Fairly innocent when I was six. Yeah. Not so much when I was 16. Yeah, great. There's a joke. That's good.

That was good. Yeah. That's really good. BJ actually means. Yeah. Great, great, great. Kids ask mum and dad what it means. There won't be kids in the audience tonight.

There won't. Tonight, don't worry, it's an R18 venue. Well, look, there's room for improvement. Yeah, okay. Is there anything else on your list for jokes? So we've got Salt, we've got Kids. We've got the weird baby names. We've got Tsunami Warnings. Okay.

Put that on there too. I've got a bit about Tsunami Warnings. Okay, great. Is there a set up and a punchline? He doesn't want to give it all away. No, no, true, true, true, true, true. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Hang on. I'm just on the classic website looking at tonight what's on Thursday. Well, the lovely Justine Smith is emceeing. Oh, she'll set you up wonderfully. Dear friend of ours. Very forgiving. Seven o'clock.

I want to hear the tsunami joke. Well, look, you'll just have to come tonight If you are in Auckland If you are in Auckland It's 7 o'clock, I know you didn't ask for a plug But I'll do it anyway, 7 o'clock at the Classic Which is on Queen Street in Auckland You can usually walk in and get tickets

Until it sells out I think it might sell out after the salt joke though Oh absolutely But there wasn't a salt joke. No, that was the wrong list. I might just have to come along, I think. I think the evening's just taken a turn.

I thought it was on purpose. Me and Vaughan every day just came out here and read our grocery list and you wouldn't give us this bloody response. He'd be like, he makes us work for it. He'd be like, find the premise, find the premise. Bryn, good luck for tonight. Good luck, Bryn.

Don't get nervous. Just tell yourself what's the worst that can happen. Go out there and have fun. Because if you're not having fun, what's the point? I'll have a few drinks beforehand. Don't have too many. No, no, no, no, no. Don't have too many.

Maybe think of some jokes. Yeah. Yeah. Have a little play around. If anyone's got any jokes, send them in. No, you can't do other people's jokes. Source one liners. Thank you little play around. If anyone's got any jokes, send them in. No. You can't do other people's jokes. Crowds. Source one liners.

Thank you, Bryn. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Running a little bit late, but because of Bryn's comedy fest. Oh, I know. And you're going to go tonight. I am going to go. I've made up my mind.

You've made your mind. So we'll have a little. Shall I report back tomorrow? Report back. We'll have a review of Bryn's stand-up comedy show tomorrow. Right now. Serious issues right now. I'll give you the background.

Yesterday I arrived home. I went to the gym. Hold for applause. Not enough. Was that good? Should I do a comedy show tonight? You should come tonight. And then went home, slipped on my gummies,

walked out into the gumboots, that is. Went out into the... Thank you for translating for us city folks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My wallies for the British. And went out into the paddock, let the cows over. And then on the walk back in, I was like, God, my foot's a bit funny.

Maybe I've heard it at the gym. Hold for over. Yeah. And then on the walk back in, I was like, God, my foot's a bit funny. Maybe I've heard it at the gym. Hold for applause. Nothing. And so there it is. And I was like, that's weird. And I was, I was walking around.

Then I took gumboots off and I was walking around the house. I was like, God, I must've really like hurt my foot running at an average of 12 kilometers an hour for a whole hour on a treadmill. Hold for applause.

And. It's too long on a treadmill. Why don't you run on the actual road? No, because I'm 42. He needs the bounce. And my knees are just like, yeah, my knees are 84. So it's just no good. But the treadmill's got a bit of kush.

Oh, yeah. For the push. Kush. So I just sort of hurt my foot on that. And then I was like, that's really weird. And it got worse and it hurt more. And then it changed to a cold feeling. And then my toes went a little numb.

That's no good. And then I had a look in the mirror and I had this like white. There's the picture of it. Now to give us a scale of size, the white head would be. Tiny. It looks like a pimple. Tiny. A little pimple.

It looks like a pimple. When you send that to the group chat, I was like, I want to see that be squeezed. Yeah, same. So bad. But after marvelling after the suppleness of his toes. Yeah. Hayley really... Yeah, that kind of got hot over my feet.

For a working man, I thought soft feet. And then it got... The white thing did get a bit bigger. So I grabbed the kitchen scissors and Shardae said, don't you dare lance your foot with those manky kitchen scissors and Sade said don't you dare lance your foot with those manky kitchen scissors so I found a safety pin and I rinsed it under a hot tap

and then just went what like sterilising it yeah that'll do it and I thought I was gonna yeah because as you said like watch it be

nothing okay nothing and then so you're messaging us like oh my god I'm dying please tell Augie and Indy that I love them

and their dad will always be looking over them. I just said, this is really weird. Just like, what do you guys think? Crowdsourcing. No, you said, what do you guys think I should wear in my coffin? So then I Googled like insect bites. It looks like a white tail.

Lots of white tail spiders. Yeah. Out our way. I'm always like, the girls are like, ah, white tail. I'm like, no, it's not. Oh my God. Oh my God, it is. Squash it, chucked spiders. Yeah. Out our way. I'm always like, the girls are like, ah, white-tailed. I'm like, no, it's not. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it is. Squash it and chuck it outside.

Okay. Because they're pretty dangerous. It made sense. I put on the boots. I didn't check on the boots. I don't check on the boots every time. Yeah. And then the Google images look like this is kind of what they go like.

Well, I don't know why you asked us for our medical opinion. Because we're going to defer to show Dr. Dr. Shawnee. Our good friend. You guys are constantly asking Dr. Shawnee questions. I'm not. Hayley is. Hayley's the worst. You're the second worst.

You asked about your spine. You're piggybacking off his Duolingo account. Dr. Shawnee, you said that I had a good looking spine, didn't you? Yeah, it's a great spine. Is it? Yeah. Thank you.

Good spine. And I wouldn't have known because I had- Firstly, Kia ora, good morning. We have been in the waiting room since 8 o'clock as per request. 8.30. You're only just getting to us now, which is weird. How are you so far behind when you were the first? We're the first appointment of the day, so this is weird.

But whatever, charge me for both slots, I guess. But you guys always go to Dr. Shorty with your medical questions. I made such a point of it once being like, you've got to leave him alone. Right. And so I just flat refused. I talk to him about gardening all the time. Don't we, Dr. Shorty?

Oh, he grows a good tomato. Yeah, yeah, we talk about it. Gardening's better to talk about on the off days. Yeah, I just sent you a photo of the bottom of the foot. Oh, so what, now you're asking for advice? Well, well, well, look who's come crawling down. Because I didn't ask any questions. I've just seen the photo.

And he's been calling you lazy because I believe you only work three days a week. I work more than you three work. He's not wrong. Don't drag me into this. Maybe hours of the day, but not days of the week. He's got you there. He's got you there.

I only work with patients three days a week, but the other two days are spent managing all my friends' complaints. Yeah, exactly. Like, does Hayley have MS and scoliosis? Hayley gets a whole day for herself. Yeah. She's a hypochondriac.

I'm a day. Is this a spider bite, though, Dr. Shawnee? Are we going to lose a foot here? Oh, 100%. I'll amputate it. Oh, you'll amputate? At home. With the kitchen scissors.

Yeah. Give them a sharpened knife. But nobody ever dies from a white tail, do they? No. In New Zealand, no. Nah. There were some pretty nasty photos. What is it, like the post-bite infection that's the biggest risk?

Have you sent it to me? Yeah. Oh, hang on. Facebook Messenger. I mean, it's so small, my darling. You can't even be able to see it. You've got to pinch in and kind of really zoom in. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Pinch, pinch to see it. You're trying a little. You've got to pinch in and kind of really zoom in.

Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Pinch, pinch, pinch in. Also, don't you just laugh? This is a bite and not just a verruca. Oh, yuck. Oh, my God. You lanced a verruca

in the kitchen. No, it's not because I've had one of those before. I had a verruca when I was a kid and I remember sitting on the mat at intermediate and getting to the point where I, like,

pulled it all out. I've done the root and all. So satisfying. That's disgusting. That's so satisfying. It left a big, like a tumour hole in my foot. So what are we thinking,

Dr. Shawnee? Is Vaughan going to be okay? Well, he's going to have to make another appointment because we're out of time today. Oh my God. I've been waiting

for half an hour, doctor. Yeah, I knew it. I mean, rush. I'm in rush because of some other, I've got a few things I want to cover in this session. I want paracetamol, I want ibuprofen and I want loraz went rush. I'm in rush because I've got a few things I want to cover in this session. Fine. I want paracetamol, I want ibuprofen

and I want lorazepam. Oh, I'm not going to make it worth my time. I'm not getting lorazepam. I mean, give me more. Considering you only booked this appointment this morning, you're lucky I squeezed you in. Wow. Yeah, exactly. Aren't you supposed to, Dr. Shawnee, aren't you supposed to draw a circle around the bite and make sure

it's not getting bigger? That's if there's redness, and I couldn't see any redness. Yeah, that was a weird thing about it. There was no rest of the shit I had to walk on. It sounds like you've tended today. It sounds like you've just got a foot pimple because you're gross. Yeah. No foot pimple, because I lanced it and nothing came out. I just heard.

Oh, well, we'll keep you updated. Dr. Shawnee, thank you. We'll see you at tomorrow's BYO. We will indeed. We'll grab a look at his foot and hate these rashes tomorrow. Well, this is actually the first time. You're not working tomorrow. No one in this health system is a diastrate.

Vaughn. Vaughn will have to get his dogs out. The first time I ever met Dr. Shawnee, I arrived very hot at a bar and I shoved my foot up on a table and I said, what's this rash? I remember it well. And we've been friends ever since. Best friends ever since.

Yeah. Isn't that cute? See you at the BYI. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the Day It's Space Week here at Fact of the Day Loving it Influenced by a recent trip I took

Find out more soon I liked that The space facts Today's fact How much gravity do you think there is on the International Space Station? 42%. Of Earth's gravity. I don't know how gravity works.

I don't feel confident enough to be like, here's a concise sentence to explain how gravity works. You see them floating around, so obviously it's less than Earth. 50% of Earth's gravity? Yeah. 50% of Earth's gravity? Yeah. 75% of Earth's gravity. No, you wouldn't float around that much. You'd just be a bit more buoyant.

Well, it's actually 90% of Earth's gravity. Suck it. Suck it. But you're right. They float around, and how does that work if it's zero gravity? Yeah. It's because they are falling. Oh.

Like a skydiver free-falling. Yeah. It's because they are falling. Oh. Like a skydiver free falling. Yep. They're falling, they're orbiting, so they're falling and moving sideways at a rate that it gives the appearance of zero gravity even though it's 90% of Earth's gravity. Ooh, that must feel horrid. Does it just feel like, you know when a plane does a sudden turn

and you can actually feel the Gs and you try to lift your leg and you can't? Yes. Or it's heavier? Gs are what you feel in the acceleration to a point. Right. So when they take off from Earth and they're in the spaceship and they're like stuck to their seat and getting up there.

Place on explode, place on explode. Yeah. But then to dock with the International Space Station, they've got to be going the same speed as it. So they did all the hard work leaving Earth and once they're on it, they can't feel the acceleration and the constant speed just feels like constant speed to them. Like how we can't feel the Earth spinning.

So it's like when skydivers are free falling and they can just spin around and it gives the appearance they're weightless but everything's moving around them whereas these guys are insider. You know if they want to replicate zero gravity they take you up in that big plane and then they just dive that plane down? It's effectively that way and the International Space Station moves sideways

and falls towards Earth and the horizon curves away beneath it at the same rate. So it means it's orbiting around given the appearance of zero gravity but it's got 90% of Earth's gravity in there. So today's fact of the day is that the International Space Station is not zero gravity.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day. Yesterday the news broke. Justin Timberlake was arrested outside of a restaurant for driving while intoxicated. And then all these photos emerged of him in handcuffs the next day. Is that the video? He ran a stop sign middle of the night.

No other cars on the road. And driving all over the place? Yeah, kind of swerving slowly. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm having a look at it now. I'm pulling that car over. That's suspicious activity. Totally.

So anyway, a police officer who took him back to the cop, I always call it cop shop, but he apparently didn't know who Justin Timberlake was. He was a young cop. This is so funny. Didn't know who he was. Didn't recognise him. And apparently, Justin Timberlake

said, kind of out loud in a sort of throwaway comment, well, this is gonna ruin the tour. And the cop said, what tour? And Justin Timberlake said, the world tour. Kind of like that, do you reckon someone's already made a meme of that? You know that girl that's kind of helping the

old person away? And they're like, okay, we'll get you to bed, Grandpa. Yeah, a you reckon someone's already made a meme of that? You know that girl that's kind of helping the old person away and they're like, okay, we'll get you to bed, Grandpa. Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. My favourite meme so far is, but Judge, when will I be able to drive again? It's gonna be May. Anyway, didn't recognise him and then we were chatting about this after the show yesterday.

We were like, he's 100% pulling a, do you know who I am? Without saying, do he's 100% pulling a do you know who I am? Without saying do you know who I am? Yeah, which is what has sparked our impossible phoner today. Has anyone ever, because we're in New Zealand a lot more humble, I would like to think, but we also host celebrities year out. Oh yeah, a lot of celebrities here filming movies

and TV shows all the time. Has anyone ever pulled a do you know who I am? Or something similar in that vein. Yeah. Are we going to name the people that pulled it? No. I mean, maybe not.

Maybe if they're overseas celebrities that don't live here. I think we'll gauge that. We'll gauge that. We'll gauge that, yeah. Yeah, we can be. You can just say a movie star. You can say anonymous female broadcaster, which I've been mistaken for a number of times.

Yes, you have been. And I'm not anonymous female broadcaster. Does it need to be a celebrity? It could be like the big boss at work. Yes, you have been. And I'm not an anonymous female broadcaster. Does it need to be a celebrity? It could be the big boss at work. Do you know who I am? Just someone pulling rank, flashing their status. I bet New Zealand politicians have pulled this shit. Oh, yeah.

Exactly. Do you know who I am? Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Or sports people, celebrities, anyone. Has this ever happened? We're calling it the impossible phone-in topic because we just don't know if this would fly in New Zealand.

0800, dial ZM is the number. Give us a call now. Text through 9696. Your mum doesn't count, 922. Your mum doesn't count. Do you know who you're speaking to? Yeah. Yes, I do, mum.

We want to know if anyone's ever pulled a, I'm sorry, do you know who I am? The impossible phone-in topic. I did not think this would go down in New Zealand as much as it has. It's popping off. Because the tall poppy thing, the whole, it's just too small to be pulling this kind of stuff. Justin Timberlake arrested yesterday. Apparently the young comp didn't know who he was and made comments like, well, this is going to ruin the world tour.

Yeah. To which the comp said, which, what world tour? And he's like, the world tour. He's all, we're also, because he didn't know who he was, we're also getting messages from people who have, like, had encounters with major celebrities and been like, oh, who's that? I love that. It's humbling.

Shout out to the woman who texts him saying that her son shook Jason Momoa's hand and said, who are you? Hayley, you would have known. I, he's seen me for an eggnog. Hayley, you would have known. I didn't. He's seen me for a year. Yeah. Georgia, this was a New Zealand television personality. We're not going to say names, but did they pull the do you know who I am? Yeah, I was working behind a bar at an arcade once,

and it was like our grand opening, so we had a lot of, I guess, you could say high-profile people. Yeah, New Zealand's version. They just got a little bit too dizzy on the fizzy, I guess you could say. What a wonderful saying. Dizzy on the fizzy. A little bit too dizzy on the fizzy. And I, yeah, I had to be the one to cut them off,

and they pulled the, oh, I'm blah, blah, blah. Do you realise who I am? Oh, no. And did you know who they were? Yes, I think everybody in New Zealand knows who they are. Oh, I want to know. We can't say that. We're going to put you on hold.

You're going to tell us. Yeah, we're not saying that. We'll come back to you after. Yeah. Okay, we'll go now. We'll put up the music. Stand by, everybody. We'll be back in a second.

Wait there, New Zealand. Oh! Okay, we're back. We're back. We're back on air. We're back on air. Don't say it. I cannot believe that.

I cannot believe that. Thank you, George. I can't believe they would do that. Okay, that is shocking. That is shocking. I'm surprised. Last person you'd expect. Amy, this is a well-known New Zealand sports person.

We won't say the sport or their name. Bugger. It would be very easy. Because it's probably easy enough to work out who it is already. Yeah. Without their sport or their name. Yeah. So when was this situation?

So this was quite a few years ago. I worked at the casino. Oh, yeah. Okay. And they were underage for the casino at the time. Right. Which is 20 to get into the cassia, not 18. Yeah.

Yeah. And they pulled our, do you not know who I am? Why can't I go up to the high rollers room with the rest of the players that were in there that night? And you're like, it's just. Because it's illegal. It's illegal. But then they just put a spectacular tantrum.

Oh, did they? A tantrum! I love an adult tantrum. I can't believe how many high-profile New Zealanders are pulling this stuff. What behaviour? Come on, Amy. Thank you for sharing.

I love all the secrecy. Has somebody ever, a New Zealand celebrity or a celebrity, pulled a, do you know who I am? Oh, my God. This is so horrible. And it's so, it's like the Justin Timberlake thing, like, well, this is really going to affect my world tour. And the cop that pulled him over was like, what world tour?

I didn't even know who he was. It was a real, do you know who I am? I'm sure we could say some of these international ones. I've got nosy friends messaging me. Who was that? Oh, my God. Who was that? We will never say.

Never say. I can't believe that, though. A few years ago, I was in a band. Here's a text. Unknown and definitely not famous, but we were in a practice studio that had individual sound rooms. At the same time, a very well-known New Zealand band were also using one of the rooms to practice. The manager of the establishment was talking to the famous band

and told them that they had overdue fees to pay. Oh, yeah. Because they'd rented out the sound rooms. The lead singer of the band said, nah, how about we just hook you up with some signed merchandise instead?

No. And the manager was like, are you kidding me? Like, I can't take that to the bank to pay my mortgage. And he's like, oh, come on, man.

It's almost a do you know who I am? Yeah, it's up there, isn't it? Almost a no. My beloved dad who recently passed away was in the RAF in Scotland. Now, I know we were talking about this in New Zealand, but this is such a massive one. This is good. Definitely worth a read.

He was tasked with stopping people using a specific entrance to an airport while the base was on exercise. One day a car drove up and the driver asked to pass through. My dad said no and the back window went down and a head stuck out and said, here comes a terrible impression. No, I'm not going to do it. Do you know who I am? And it was Paul McCartney of the Beatles.

What? And dad said, yes, I'm very well aware of who you are, Mr. McCartney, but you're going to have to go the other way. That's incredible. Do you know who I am? No, that was terrible. I did it in my head before and it sounded like I was... I'm Paul McCartney.

Do you know who I am? I'm from the Beatles. I'm going to look at the planes. I'm catching a plane. No, I was going to say that's a no-no. It sounded Indian, didn't it? Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't want to do it before.

There's so many messages, but we're out of time. This is so good. I was a bouncer a few years ago at a Christchurch bar, and I was removing a person from a bar, and he gave me the, do you know who my dad is? Right. And I was like, no, and he explained who his dad was, and I was like, no one knows who your dad is.

I chucked him out. Tony Braxton pulled it going through New Zealand airport security. Tony Braxton. Unbreak my heart. Say you love me again. Did it work? I don't know. What, did she have an apple in her bag or something?

Tony Braxton. Tony. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. My friend had a liaison in Speech Mart with a Lord of the Rings actor in a bathroom at a club in Wellington in the early 2000s. I mean, did we all? What was that bathroom that, no, what was that bar that shut down that everyone went

to? Matterhorn. Matterhorn. Yeah, it would have been in the Matterhorn bathroom. Yeah, because they loved it there because it's a bit fancy. Yeah. She had no clue who he was. I don't know who Hannah Shaggin in the Matterhorn. Yeah, it would have been in the Matterhorn bathroom. Yeah, because they loved it there because it's a bit fancy. She had no clue who he was. And he was apparently miffed that she didn't want to engage with him again while he was here in New Zealand filming.

She thought he was lying about being an actor in the Women's Lord of the Rings and she was like, that's him. Oh dear. That's the one right there. Wow. Amazing. Thank you for your text messages. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars

because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know.

Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is.

I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.