ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 20th March, 2025

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Kmart pickle jar Four minute mile SLP - Would you use your partner's toothbrush Adam Kay IV Top 6 'of the year' comps Experts think we should be doing slow travel Black cap and white fern IV Vaughan's learning Te Reo with Indie Are you a fussy eater Hayleys kitten surprise Our image was vandalised Fact of the Day Was your partner not your type when you met?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Secret Sound returns this morning at 7 o'clock and 8. $50,000. It'd be nice to go before the end of the week, I tell ya.

That'd really make my week. Give it away 50k. Really? Don't get out of the way, I'm just ready to give. You know? Drag it out as long as possible. Drag it out. Well,

all thanks to SuperLuckiless and Alpha That Activated coming up before the news at seven. Special guest joining us via Zoom around 20 to seven this morning.

Yeah, Adam Kay. He's a comedian slash doctor. Slash writer. And he wrote This is gonna hurt Which Fletch has been

Telling me to watch For ages And then with this Interview on the horizon And I finished a TV show I was like I'll watch it on TVNZ Plus Yep

Holy I know One episode in And I'm like This is It's that Show where you're like This is a quintessentially

Brilliant British show Yeah Americans couldn't do it. No, Americans couldn't. I said that about The Office, and I stand by it. No, no, no, The Office one is so good. But this is such a good show, and he's coming back to New Zealand. Yeah, his show is based on this.

This is going to hurt. He wrote the book, then did a live show, then the TV show came off the live show. That's right. And so we're getting his live show all through New Zealand. We'll give you the date soon and chat to him. Very funny man. Very funny man. Also on the way, silly little pole.

Do you use your partner's toothbrush? Well, this is because Aaron was away for a month and he left one of his toothbrushes. And I've sort of just been alternating between the purple and the green the whole month. Right. You don't know which one's yours? I don't know which one technically was mine to begin with. Just go in and buy two new ones. Is there a blue one in there?

I just pick up whatever's there. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. Okay, there's a recalled item from Kmart that I've seen other versions of this. I didn't know Kmart did one. It's a pickle jar, like to store your pickles in, but you have it one way in the fridge. And then when you go to get your pickles out, you flip it upside down so that all the juice runs to the bottom.

And then you can open it and just the pickles are there. Amazing. Pick the pickles, flip it back over. Then they sit in their juice. So why have they recalled this? It's just a jar. Because it's a fermented food, pickles, right? Because of the sugar and the vinegar and how it interacts,

it causes carbon dioxide and they can explode. Oh, so they haven't made it strong enough. They haven't made the glass is not like the thickness of a usual pickle jar. Right. Because your pickle jars are thick, aren't they? Thick boys. I never chuck a pickle jar. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Wash them. Save them. Wash them. Screws. 100%. Everything in the garages and pickle jars. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wash them. Save them. Wash them. Screws. A hundred percent. Everything in the garage is in pickle jars. Oh, yeah.

Preserves. They're fantastic. You can do the preserves because they are a thicker glass, so they won't crack when you're heating them up in the oven. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do they call that? I was going to say hygienating. I don't know.

I'm hygienizing. You're hygienizing it. You're also sealing them when you're heating it. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, and then if you can get them hot And they can stay hot And then those lids They'll pop the lid I tell you what

When you're doing preserves And Fletch you'll know this Because you're a huge preserver I'm not You love preserves What are you like 80? When that lid goes And sucks in

It's So that's called The Kmart glass flip pickle jar Flip pickle jar. And they have done an immediate recall. Like, if you have bought this, please bring it back. Don't put pickles in it. Because it could explode.

What about if you just left the lid a little bit? But then your pickles won't be as fresh. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. I want one of these. I want one of these so bad. Growing up, my mum was of the Tupperware generation.

Yep. Oh, that thing you pull out? Yeah, dude. Like a basket. It was a beetroot basket. And you'd pour all the beetroot in and then, yeah, and you'd take the lid off and then it was like an elevator would come up with the beetroot on it, but all the beetroot juice would stay down there.

I feel like Sistema do one of those. Do they? Yeah, I think they've got something similar. Yes, they do. Yeah. That would be good for pickles. Yeah. Because it's plastic. I guess it's got a bit more give than they do. Yeah. That would be good for pickles. Yeah. Because it's plastic.

I guess it's got a bit more give than thin glass. What do you do with your pickle juice? Because I make pickle martinis. I don't do a lot with it, but if I planned ahead, there's an amazing way of doing deep fried chicken or like fried chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you keep the pickle juice. I'm salivating at the thought of it.

And you can put like wings or like chicken nibbles and fill it up with pickle juice and you leave it to brine. Brine in the pickle juice. I'm salivating at the thought of it. And you can put like wings or like chicken nibbles and fill it up with pickle juice and you leave it to brine. Brine in the pickle juice. So then the acid in the vinegar also drags in a little bit of the pickle flavour. And we all like pickle flavour. And it drags it into the chicken and then you take it out and you like drip dry it and then you crumb it and fry it. Dude, the most tender chicken because the acid's already kind of semi-cooked it.

Also good for a salad dressing, but a mustard, but an olive oil, pickle brine, maybe a little bit of honey or something. Chaka, chaka, chaka, chaka. Unless you've got one of these Kmart pickle jars, you have to sieve out the glass. Sieve out the exploded glass. Anyway, if you've bought one,

because honestly, I would have bought one of these had I known they existed. They're being recalled and you can get a refund. Or just take the risk, do you know what I mean? Here's the thing about a Kmart refund though, they don't lose. You go in, you get the refund, and you'll be like, oh, well, I'm here.

And you'll spend all of your refund and more on more Kmart products. Absolutely. Exactly. I've seen in the last few days leading up to this, this talk, the New Zealand 15-year-old. I will say again, ladies and gentlemen, the age 15. One five.

About to be the youngest person ever in the world to achieve a sub four minute mile. Now, what year was this first done by that New Zealander? Was it John Walker or the other guy who did it first? It was a New Zealander who did it first. Really? It's a wild thing, the sub four minute mile. How long's a mile? 1.6 kilometres.

Okay. So it's a bit of a sprint. Dude, it's, I'll tell you what he did. First of all, Sam Ruth is his name. He's from Tauranga. He is 15 years old. He did it in three minutes, 58 seconds. So he just came in just under four. First of all, Sam Ruth is his name. He's from Tauranga. He is 15 years old. He did it in three minutes, 58 seconds. So he just came in just under four.

That's insane, eh? Now, 1.6, if you break it down, the best part about breaking it down 1.6 by four is it's easily divisible. Yeah, it's beautiful. So he's doing 400 metres a minute, which means every 15 seconds he's doing 100 metres. The world's fastest man can do it in just under 10.

So he's keeping, he's doing a pace equivalent to, not equivalent to, but just less than the fastest people in the world. And he's keeping that up for just under four minutes. And he's, I will remind, again, he's 15 years old. Far out. So there's a natural, there's a natural ability there, but this is also You know Not just

He just hasn't happened Across this He's 15 years old I didn't have dedication Any dedication To anything that much When I was 15 years old Dude

Let's not even dive into What we were doing at 15 But I certainly wasn't Becoming an elite athlete No I wouldn't have been I would have been thinking Of excuses on how to

Get out of my mum Saying go for a run Because you're awfully unfit. Yes. I remember trying to do a run in PE and just being like, this sucks. I'm too fat for this. Is he going to go to the Olympics?

Dare I say the Olympics will be in his future. Yeah. When are the Olympics? Three years-ish, right? They were just last year. Yep. 2020, 2024. 28.

28. But we've got a Commonwealth Games next year in Scotland because Melbourne were like, yeah, we'll do it. And then last minute, piked on the party. That's right. Scotland were like, yay. They said they were going to have a party. Everybody was like, cleared the schedule. And then they were like, actually, no, we can't afford it. So it was the 49th New Zealander to break the milestone.

Wow. So we're just really good at this. We? We. Did nothing Can't run a kilometre at all at any pace But we are really good We are so good at this Genetically, his father, Ben, is a former national record holder of 801,000 Nepo runner

I don't know if it works like that Nepo I don't know that His mum is a national cross country title holder. So it's in the genes. His grandmother Rosemary was a 400 metre relay sprinter and an 800 metre Commonwealth Games gold medalist. Oh, wow.

Okay. That's in the blood, isn't it? Good on him. That's so cool. Is there a tubby sibling? Oh, there's always a... Is there a Vaughan in the family where they're like, come on, mate, we're like,

we've given you everything genetically to be advantageous. Get off the PlayStation. Stop comparing me to Sam. I'm not Sam. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, would you use your partner's toothbrush?

In the room? Absolutely. Yes. We've got a pothole of toothbrushes. I don't know what colour was mine. I can't remember if it was blue or green. Or no, it would be pink or purple. Well, there was a purple one, but I actually

thought that was Aaron's because I remember when he had it, me being like, now that's a colour for a Sheila. A purple? Yeah. But then he went away and they were... Or was this guy Tinky Winky? I don't know. He went away and he bought himself a new one for his trip. And so they were all just rattling around. So I've just sort of been using all of them.

Yeah. Well, you kiss them and stuff, right? And stuff, yeah. I go to wash and... Yeah, but still. I know, it's very intimate. Because they always say if you get a cold, you should replace your toothbrush, which no one ever does.

Oh, no. I just replace them when they're all fluffy. That sounds like some big toothbrush bullshit to me. To make you buy more toothbrushes. Just run it under really hot water. Have you ever used a Friends or like a Hookups toothbrush? No. I have when I've travelled with my friends.

They didn't have toothbrushes when I last hooked up. They just chewed on sticks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a different time. It's been a while. It's been a long while. Yeah, well, the war had just ended. It was a...

I think I've definitely... Rations. I've definitely had a Uno Naito Stanandos. Yeah. Is that Spanish for one night stand? Si. Wow. I didn't know you spoke Spanish.

Si, papi. Okay. And we hung out the next day and I remember being like, I'd rather use the toothbrush than have bad breath all day. So I just used his toothbrush. And you had your mouth on their mouth. On their mouth. Yeah. This is just playing with a middleman. Yeah. Okay. Would you had your mouth on their mouth. On their mouth. Yeah.

This is just playing with a middleman. Yeah. Okay. Would you use your partner's toothbrush? 64% of people said, ooh, no. Yeah, I get it. And they're not playing that card game where they've got one left and they have to say it or they have to pick up two next. Or ooh, no.

Or ooh, no stacco. Yeah. Yeah. 64% said ooh, no. 36% said yeah. Polly says never ever even when I forgot mine on a weekend away

he went in search of a supermarket to buy me one funny how I'll put his jennies in my mouth but chewing a toothbrush is too fun

that's exactly the point right like yeah you'll do that but you won't do that atta girl atta girl Jodie says,

in a pinch, of course, yes, YouTuber, hey, I wasn't even looking. I could see out of my peripheral vision what you two were doing.

In a pinch, of course, because let's be honest, there's so much else of his going on in there. Why not a toothbrush? Oh my God, these women are all

good. Get on there, real good girls. Oh, my God. These women are all good girls. Oh, don't close that. We get too excited. Good girls. We get too excited, Vaughn. Good girls. I don't want to catch boy germs, says Tanya. Finally, somebody speaking some sense.

And yet, Tanya. Neve. Ooh, ooh, ooh. You're a yuck and deserve gingivitis. What does this gingivitis? It's gingivitis. That's in your ooh. You're a yuck and deserve gingivitis. What is this gingivitis? It's gingivitis. That's in your mouth. Not a good girl.

Don't say that. Stop it. Not a good girl. Not a good girl. Oh, don't do that, Vaughn. It's confusing to me. Don't. Please, the brother.

What a good girl. Don't. What a good girl. Rachel says, his teeth are nice and well kept. I certainly wouldn't put anything that would have touched his feet in my mouth, though. I don't think anyone asked you to. Nobody did. Wait, wait, wait.

How did you get there, Rachel? Why did you jump straight to the feet, Rachel? I think Rachel wants to suck some toes, and she just doesn't know how to bring it up in the conversation because it's been too long. Daniel said, I have by mistake, and it made me feel gross and dirty. Oh. I mean, but you're washing it the whole time under the sink. You're sort of getting it out and rinsing it.

Naughty boy, Daniel. Don't do that. Naughty boy. Ange said, you do all the fat old fun times. Fat old? Don't call me that. You do all the adult fun times and not use their toothbrush? Grow up, you cold child.

Yeah. And absolute desperation only, you cold child. Yeah. And absolute desperation only, says Bronwyn. Would it happen? Right. Hannah also agrees. Only in dire situations. Even then, I think I'd rather go finger brush. I hate finger brushing.

Finger brush is embarrassing. Oh, yeah. Finger brush is embarrassing. Or at least just a bit of mouthwash. Yeah. Sophie said, not only do I use my partner's toothbrush, I'll use my sibling's toothbrushes as well. Oh, I wouldn't do that.

Yeah. And I'm very close with my brother. No, you wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't use it. You kiss on the mouth. We do kiss on the mouth. Sophie, you're a naughty, dirty girl. Oh, stop it.

That's disgusting. That's today's silly little pop. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. We are joined by the magic of telecommunications by an author, a doctor, a performer, and technically Paddington Bear, as Ben Wishart has played them both.

Adam Kay, hello. It's not how it works, Vaughn. I can't get out of my head the fact that you technically, in some weird parallel universe, you're Paddington Bear. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm part of the extended Paddington Bear multiverse. Yes! Yeah.

It's like the Kevin Bacon six degrees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all a little bit Kevin Bacon. Yeah. But all a little bit Paddington. All a little bit Paddington. Everywhere, all at once. Adam Kay joins us, coming back to the country, performing, and like,

most recently in New Zealand, your most prominent work has been the fact that This Is Gonna Hurt has been on TVNZ Plus and it's incredible. One of the most popular shows on there. Oh, amazing. That's great to hear. I'm glad loads of people watched it

because it was the right faff to write it. Why such a faff? You'd already written the book. Why was it such a faff? It was like quite a loose adaptation. So I made the decision rather than to make myself seem like some sort of amazing superhero, to make myself all sort of flawed and interesting. So which means that people who've seen the show think that I'm a bit of an arsehole,

but also that I look like Ben Whishaw. So I'm a very attractive arsehole. but also i think that i look like ben wishaw so i'm a very attractive arsehole so i'm probably overall quite happy with that but writing like it was 7 45 minute episodes that's just loads of typing yeah and it was a lot more i thought it was going to be yeah how much what what does a script like what does a 45 minute script look like in a you know text how many pages show yes how many pages is the average Because I've never thought about it in that kind of context. It would be so much more than a book. It's about a page a minute, most of us. A page of A4 per minute.

Right. So like that. So seven of those. I can't do seven times 45. I think it's a little sum. But it sounds like it's longer than a book. Yeah, it's a lot. I'm just interested to know,

because so many comedians, they're comedians from the get-go, right? And they just know that that's what they want to do. They're going to be funny their whole life. What took you off to bloody becoming a doctor? So back home, you make the decision to be a doctor when you're 16. Yes, I know. That's when you choose exams that you then go to medical school when you're aged.

Sixteen's a terrible age to decide to do anything. I don't, you know, so, you know, it's got no good reason for becoming a doctor. But after I left, it turns out I had no transferable skills whatsoever. So comedy. It's a skillless job, do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's much like radio, we can relate.

Yeah, we just talk for a living. But even though you left the doctoring career, I've got to ask if people still ask you. The doctoring career? Yeah, it's called doctoring, you dip. Great English, man. Yeah, it's doctoring career. Sorry about these guys, Adam.

Do you still have to give advice to your friends who ask for free medical advice? Because we've got a friend who's a doctor. Man, we bombard him. I would say that my friends are aware that I've not worked on a ward for 14 years and I've been drinking white wine pretty much consistently that entire time.

So they realise quite a major roll of the dice to ask for my advice. I'm gutted because you worked in gynaecology for a bit and I just had a bartholin cyst removed and they told me it was a six week recovery and I was sort of just hoping that you'd give me the A-OK to just get back to life. To sex again. To sex again basically.

A little bit earlier than six weeks but if you've just been drinking white wine maybe I won't take your advice. I do get a disproportionate number of medical emergencies in my life though and so in particular doing these shows so like I tell a certain number of stories that could, in some cultures, be described as disgusting.

They talk about disgusting audiences. And clearly, not every member of my audience is necessarily prepared for this. And, I mean, I've done this show, this is going to hurt live to, like, 300,000 people now. So maybe it's just law of averages. A certain number of people will collapse during their time so um i think i think it's four times now you know there's been a kerfuffle in the audience and then someone's been like can we get the lights on and then is

there a doctor and i'm like oh no no kind of humble here. But luckily, so many doctors and nurses and paramedics go to my shows, as well as civilians, that any time this has happened, a whole emergency department has descended on that call of the auditorium and sorted it out. That's brilliant. It's probably the safest place to go in New Zealand for a night out, if I'm in town. Do you have a favourite form to work in?

Do you love being behind a laptop writing? Do you love being on a set, on a television set? Or do you have the live performance bug? I hate being on set because it's very boring. And they manage to shoot. I mean, I'm sure everyone's very boring. And they managed to shoot. I mean, I'm sure everyone's working as hard as they can. But as an outsider just walking in, it's like they spend a lot of time in their trailers

just playing candy crushes and eating chips. So anyway, I'm sure actors work very hard. And I love writing, but you don't get anyone telling you you're amazing for another year and a half after you've written your sentence. I can't deal with that sort of time lag. So there is something quite great about getting up on stage and getting the laugh coming immediately. Also, the best thing of all I found about live performing is after my shows, I'll hang around afterwards in the foyer for a bit and sign people's books if they bought one on the day

or once I brought one in. And, you know, speaking to people who've got their own experiences, you know, one way or the other of the medical profession, as a patient, as a doctor, as a nurse. But something's happened in the last couple of years where I'll sign a book for someone and they'll say, you won't remember this person, you know, patient, as a doctor, as a nurse, but something's happened in the last couple of years where I'll sign a book for someone and they'll say, you won't remember this person, you know, pointing to some gangly teenager next to them, but you delivered them 17 years ago.

Oh, wow. That is very cool. And so, also it's quite a good business move delivering your own audience. That's smart. We never thought of it. Actually, really. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Well, I mean, everywhere you go, you completely sell out.

You're in hot demand. We can't wait to have you in New Zealand. Coming Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Dunedin, new late shows added there as well because of the demand, and also Hamilton all starting on May the 12th. Yeah. And I'm bringing my whole family this time on tour. So it's going to be half day and half getting up on stage. So I'm looking forward to it, can't wait.

Adam, thank you so much for chatting with us. Can't wait to see you. Thanks for having me. See you there. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. The blobfish.

Ugliest fish. So funny. No offence. It's ugly. Man, I hope I'm not cancelled for saying that in 2025. The world's ugliest animal. Fish shaming. Fish shaming.

Yeah. Body fish shaming because it's quite luxurious. You don't have any structure. Yeah. You're weird and look like a grumpy old man with a giant nose. You're translucent. So at one fish of the year, I don't even know we had this around us. People are just getting carried away with these competitions.

You hate it. We had a bug of the year recently. Yep. He's livid. I've had enough of these bloody of the year competitions. They're as bad as the naming things where everyone would say something makes something face. Yep. He's livid. I've had enough of these bloody of the year competitions. They're as bad as the naming things where everyone would say something makes something face. Yep. He was grumpy. He was grumpy.

He was grumpy. Well, I've got the top six of the year competitions that I'd like to put forward basically purely to wind Fletcher. Okay. Thank you. Number six on the list of the year competitions is cloud of the year. Oh, yeah. You take a photo of a cloud.

Okay, like a big fluffy one. Yeah. I like the scaly, very wide one. Humulus. It has to be like, you have to take a photo of the coolest cloud you see.

Oh, and it looks like something? Yeah, or it can look like something or it can just do that thing. You know, sometimes it looks, there was some cloud structure recently and it just looked like a painting. Yeah, I know. And I took a photo of it

and the photo did it no justice. No, I know these iPhones. They don't snap it well. They do. They take a nice photo but there's something missing there. They really don't do

the cloud justice. That's right. Oh, the sunset's beautiful. I took a photo. I tried to do that last night. That's a crap photo. The photo doesn't do it justice. I'll never look at that again.

Number five on the list of the top six of the year competitions. Sock of the year. Left. I'm just feeling on my foot now. You know, at the end, you've always got a favourite sock. Like, the ones that you're like, oh no,

they're in the wash. Boy, I can't wait till they're not in the wash so I can put on my favourite sock. That's why I buy so many of the same pairs of socks. You buy the sock. So I always have my favourite pair. I'm thinking if there's a pair in the washing machine and Lefty goes missing, but Righty hangs in there until Lefty returns, Righty's the sock of the year. Number four on the list of the top six of the year competitions.

Yawn of the year. This is to celebrate yawning. Okay. The words that I'm saying is yawning. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. Hayley, you're a psychopath. Okay, you got me.

One of the yawns of the year could be the one that most people are experiencing right now. I love yawning. So yawning. That felt good. So good.

Oh yeah, I love a sneeze. Good sneeze. When a sneeze is just about to come on you're like... Yeah, you're like, yes, this is going to roll. Ow, ow, ow, this is going to roll.

Number three on the list of the top six of the year competitions that Fletch seems to be enjoying way more than I thought he was going to. Yeah, he's actually loving this. He's actually loving this list. Is the glass of water of the year. You know some glasses of water hit different? Like you'll have a glass of water and you'll be like... And you feel it go down. Yeah, and then you'll have a glass of water and you'll be like... And you feel it go down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then right now you'll have a glass of water and you're like, perfect glass of water. And generally it's not out of the tap you always get a glass of water out of. It might be like a bathroom tap and you drink it and you're like, what's different about that? Glass of water of the year. Our number two on the list of the top six of the year competitions that was designed to aggravate Fletch but seems to be bringing him some sort of joy.

Perverse joy. Dan of the year. Dan? Dan. Oh, that's stupid. There we go. We got him. There he is.

Because I saw a meme the other day that said, isn't it a bummer when you meet a Dan who's not the man? And I was like, yeah. It is a bummer. It is. You want to call them Dan the man, but you can't lie about it. It's a very serious title. So Dan of the year.

Awarded Dan. Stupid one. And number one. So Dan of the Year. Awarded Dan. Stupid one. And number one on the list of the top six of the year competitions. The top six of the year of the year competition. See that's stupid as well.

So we take all of the of the years and we take it seriously. Make an of the year of the year. Bird of the year would probably win

because it's a bit of the OG. We've done that too much as well. Oh my god. We've done it too much. How beautiful. Native birds. That is today's Sub-Zone. We've been talking a lot about travel, haven't we, as a trio?

Just where we want to go next, exciting trips. There was like this thing we wanted to go to Vegas for. I'm actually literally looking at flights now for Aaron to go somewhere. And I say you two are predominantly having a conversation while I sit here going that sounds nice. I was going to say dreams are free. Dreams are free. You guys are like, let's go to Las Vegas for an old emo show. I'm like, you guys have a great time.

I mean, yeah, until you look at how much flights cost and then you're like, okay, we're not going to that. Oh, we're not going to that. And then we looked at how much the tickets were. Oh, we're definitely not going to that. But we did a dream. But lots of people have travel on the cards this year, I reckon, you know. It's kind of that time of the year where people are like, am I going to do something in winter?

Like a lot of Kiwis go to Southeast Asia or Aussie or the islands or Europe. Bali. Yeah, totally. Are we not bothering with America anymore at the moment? I would prefer not to go. I would prefer not to go. I would prefer not to go to America. Yeah, I don't know.

It's a dumpster fire. I don't feel safe. And it's a dumpster fire. But travel experts are sharing the benefits of something that they like to call slow travel. Oh, no. And Fletch, like, I mean, we have limited time, of course. We don't get to do big three-month Europe's or anything like that. Yeah. In the middle of our year, we've got two weeks.

Yeah. And so you get over there. Your approach, Fletch, is to get over wherever you're going and just see it all go. He literally, on the Friday, if we're finishing on the Friday, will bring all of his luggage to work and leave straight from work to an airport and then arrive back sometimes within 12 hours of the show starting, sometimes closer.

I would, when we worked afternoons, I would land the morning of working. Because don't waste a day. Why would you waste a day? People are losing a day. Oh, we'll just come back on Friday and we'll have the weekend at home. It's like, no, just get, don't waste your holidays. No, no, no, no. So slow travel, they say, is quality over quantity.

So within your limited time, spending more time in one place, relaxing more, you know, sort of landing in the destination more before moving on and doing things and filling things up, allowing you to actually get what you need from a holiday, which is rest and relaxation, which is not really why you go on holiday. You look for fun and adventure. Well, his life is so relaxing day to day.

Yeah, do you know what? No one needs a holiday less than me. Than Fletch. But no one has more holidays. But no one has more. But you don't want to be stuck in a city that you don't like for too long. That's why like chat GPT, GTP, GPT.

Do you know what? People get so rucked up. I know when I say it right. Fletch can't say chat GPT. Chat GPT.T. Do you know what? People get so rocked up. I know when I say it right. Fletch can't say chat GPT. Chat GPT. Yeah. It's really good for this. It's like how many days?

And it just tells you, like gives you itineraries and stuff. How many days should I spend? Yeah. They're just going like, you know, have one task a day. So today's a beach day. Yeah. The next day is going to be a blah, blah, blah day. You know, whereas you're like, okay,

we're going to start with a walk in the morning. Then we're going to go breakfast here. I've already planned it. It's already booked. By 11 o'clock when you get to the beach, it's going to be for two hours. I don't want to sit around for too long. Then we're going to go for a lunch. Then we'll have a siesta.

Then we're going to go out. We're going to go to this club. You're like, it's busy. It's a lot. It's a lot. So if you want to do slow travel, you can travel slower. Enjoy your slow holidays. Enjoy your slow holidays.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. A T20 doubleheader tomorrow, Friday at Eden Park. The White Ferns versus Australia at 2.45 and the Black Caps versus Pakistan at quarter past seven. Georgia Plummer and Ish Saudi are in studio. Good morning to you both. Morning. Thanks for coming in.

Is this like a normal time to be awake? You guys are training your professional athletes, right? Well, it's kind of. I mean, 6am is pretty early, but nah. We actually fortunately don't have training today, but Georgia actually does, so. Oh, Georgia. Oh.

Yeah, early breakfast, but I'll probably be on about five coffees by nine, so it's all good. Oh, yeah, that good jittery energy that really hits hard and anxiety-fuelled and then burns out and have a crash, but afternoon. We're aware of it very well.

Yeah. Do the blackcaps and the White Ferns ever just get together and mash it up and play together? I really think this has been quite good, having the double-headers. You get a chance to actually socialise with the other team. Yeah. So obviously I had St Patrick's Day in Dunedin, so it was quite nice to...

Jeez! How was that? Yeah, non-alcoholic Guinness goes down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Watching the game in Dunedin the other day Finn Allen was mic'd up during the game

and this has become quite a thing, isn't it? Some players get mic'd up. Have you guys been mic'd up during a game before? Because I imagine that would be very off-putting and hard. Yeah Yeah, I've done it a couple of times. I'm not the biggest fan because I don't know, sometimes some random things can come out of my mouth. And the vest is sometimes a little bit uncomfortable.

You have to wear a vest because I know there's like a battery pack and they put a mic in your ear or somewhere. And you sort of had like a ringing noise come through the air as well for most of the game. But I think it's great. You can actually talk to commentators and make the game a bit more interesting while you're out there playing so yeah i see the good that good in it okay is there anybody in the team that's like i'll do it i'll do it because if it was like hayley was

on the team she'd be like guys oh with it i would i would be doing like i've been running around i don't know how to play cricket running around and i'll be just doing jokes and games dropping catches yeah i'll be like this and i'll something funny I'll look up and be like watch for the reaction and then get bowed out blow kisses to the adoring fans I've genuinely never played cricket

in my life I've never even played backyard cricket to me it's always felt like I feel like you get this with cricket because everyone's like

the rules are confusing why is one of the scores so much bigger than the other? And then I've had a thousand times. I know, I know. Who's winning? A thousand times people explain it to me. And one time I got it. I was like, I've got it.

I've got it. I was at a social cricket game. My friend was playing. I was like, I've got the rules. And then they're gone the next time I see it on TV. You must get sick of it. People going like, what's happening? Yeah, I mean, it is a pretty bizarre game,

but I would say like if you would sort it to introduce someone to the game t20 is probably the one like yeah a lot more entertaining yeah i'm out to eden park it's got a bit more of a vibe like but if like you were new to cricket and you were like come to a test match with me at like 10 a.m yeah there's no one there like a couple of newspapers out yeah not really that fun but nah entertaining t20 like if you want to get introduced, come on down. How do you keep your mental stamina during those really long games? Oh man,

those five days are hard. Yeah. And that's why it's called Test Career. That's why it's the hardest format but I'd say the new age these days, a lot more T20 played,

three and a half hours, pretty good. You get out there and try, you know, put your skills on for a short period of time. Yeah,

I guess coming from like longer formats straight to T20s, you're like, oh my gosh, it is so fast paced. Even though it might not look it, like when you're out there, it feels like it's like ball after ball after ball and everything's going on.

But yeah. But it's a lot quicker for you guys too. So there must be an adjustment and rather than the long play for five days, getting out there and just going hard as for 20. Yeah, big time, eh? Like an hour and a half on the field as opposed to being like

nine hours in the field over five days. So like, no, your attention span a lot less. I find it a lot more fun, eh? The shorter format of the game and it's certainly like probably a lot more entertaining to watch. Is she your, how old are you? Oh, 32. But Georgie, you're 21?

Yeah. That's really young. You were born the year that Fletch and I started doing radio together. How old's that? And look at us, we're very youthful. You do look pretty youthful. Definitely not too old then. But when you're looking ahead to the future,

like is this your long-term plan for you? Because you've started so early. Yeah, I guess so. Hopefully if everything goes well. But I think it's just exciting. I've kind of came into especially especially women's cricket, when it's been I guess high profile now and so many more opportunities. And I guess people that came in

about 20 years ago, there was nothing, anything like this. So for me to come in at this time and be so young and have these opportunities and have it as my full-time job, I guess I'm just pretty grateful for that sort of thing. Is your a woman's IPL now? Yeah, three years I think it's been going for. How amazing is that? Wow your woman's IPL now? Yeah, yeah. Three years, I think. It's been going for it.

How amazing is that? Wow. There's a feminist right before me. Vaughan Smith. Well, he knew about it, and it's been around for three years. Semi-feminist. Hey, he's all for it.

He's all for it. Once he hears about things, he's on board. But you are. You're going to have like a front row seat of watching the sport like grow and grow and grow in terms of the women's cricket. So it's pretty amazing. Well, the T20 doubleheader

tomorrow at Auckland's Eden Park, the White Ferns Australia at 2.45. Black Cats Pakistan at 7.15. And we've got some passes to give away. You can text T20 and your name to 9696 and we'll draw out a few passes to win. Do you get dressed up?

Do you get dressed up to go to the cricket? Do you know what I mean? Not like the sevens, right? Oh, damn it. I've got a great costume. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do. Do you get dressed up? Do you get dressed up to go to the cricket? Do you know what I mean? No, like the sevens, right? But we initiate. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do. We'll go as a pack of crowns. I was going to go as a shower loofer.

What a costume. Oh, well. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. My daughter's doing year nine today at school. And last night, she's got a test on Monday. And I said, she's a little bit worried about it yeah so I took this off

this is what she thinks man this great dad's helping me but it's just I just get to spend time with her which is really nice forced time yeah forced time forced time

she's like he's helping me out and I'm just like don't you ever leave me wow do you know what'll happen though because she's third form so it's the easiest year of high school

yeah she's just gonna get smarter and smarter and you're gonna get left behind. I'm on the verge of being left behind on maths. I need a whole maths refresher course to keep up with her on the maths. But you know, and I said to her last night and I was like, and I 100%

never believed it. You know they say if you can learn a language, learn one real young. Oh god, yeah. And then all the other languages stick easier because you're like, okay, there's more than one word for that and your brain adapts to having the ability to see a different word for the same thing. Also, like Latin-based languages, they all connect. So like French and Spanish and Italian, they're all very like, oh, that's similar.

Yeah. So they're easier to learn. Oh, okay, you can't learn anything when you're old. I'm done learning. Nah. No. I'm done. I've done all of mine.

Remember I got up to like level 4,000 of Duolingo Spanish and now I've forgotten it all. Say something in Spanish. It doesn't stick. Cerveza. Cerveza. So you have uno cerveza. Yeah.

Uno cerveza. Gracias. Gracias. Uno cerveza. One beer, please. Yeah. Thank you. But it doesn't, I was trying to explain to her,

the words just don't stick as well. So what did you learn last night? Has anything stuck? Okay, I'm going to test you. Okay, so't, I was trying to explain to her, the words just don't stick as well. So what did you learn last night? Has anything stuck? Okay, I'm going to test you. Okay, so we learned colours. Okay, what is orange? My is white. Little song.

Fero is red. I said orange. What is orange? Karaka. Beautiful. You know how I remembered? Because the berries of the karaka tree go orange when they're ready. Oh.

And they'll kill your dog if your dog eats them. Okay, trick question. What's pink? Marf if your dog eats them. Okay, trick question. What's pink? Marfero. Okay, good boy. Because it is just white and red. And then I thought every other colour that was a mix would also be the same. No.

No. Are they learning Māori as the original Māori or Māori when we call vehicles motoka? Which is just, there's a word for it, but when they kind of just do a translation. My favourite is when there's a word in Māori for

something and old white people generally, to generalise, say, alright, they've just made that up. There wouldn't have been a word for computers in Māori. Well, guess what? There wasn't a word for computers in English until. Well, guess what? There wasn't a word for computers in English until we invented them either. Yeah.

No, it's hard. I'd give up. We did. And I'm Māori, telling you to give up on the Māori language. Just give up. No, I just mean give up on learning. It's too hard.

That's my message for the people listening today. It's too hard. It's too hard. Or just missed it. Stick to the real simple ones, like a pea, the vegetable, is pea, a vegetable, is pea. A vegetable. A vegetable.

I reckon tidy up your English before you... Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Now, do you have ghoulies? I think your ghoulies are off because it was a wrong guess. I don't think you've got ghoulies. Oh. Well, that's maybe why my ghoulies felt that that was the right answer, because I don't have ghoulies are off because it was a wrong guess. I don't think you've got ghoulies. Oh. Well, that's maybe why my ghoulies felt that that was the right answer

because I don't have ghoulies. They don't exist. They're non-existent ghoulies. Oh, damn. So, Tyler Henry, you might not immediately recognise the name, but you'll recognise his face. He's a blonde sort of, I'm going to say, anemic-looking fellow. He's an alphish little man.

An alphish little pixie boy. Yeah. Who is a... And he's like, I'm speaking to the dad now. I'm speaking to say anemic looking fellow. He's an alphish little man. An alphish little pixie boy. Yeah. Who is a... And he's like, I'm speaking to the dad now. I'm speaking to the dad. He's a medium, a psychic medium. Life After Death is his show. No, I'd say he's a smaller.

He's a small. Yeah, he's a psychic small. Yeah. He's a psychic XS. He's a psychic lady small. Yeah. He's a psychic Glassons 10. And he, you know, he talks to celebrities on his show

and is like, your mother's talking to me. And you're like, no, she's not. But anyway, he recently- People believe in that though. They do. And I have friends that have seen mediums and had profound readings. And I'm not here to judge that.

However, I am here to judge- I am, your money would have been better spent elsewhere. But please carry on. I'm here to judge his diet of choice. Okay. He's outed himself on TikTok as a fussy eater. And I was like, oh, yeah, like, a bit fussy. Maybe he doesn't like pork.

Or mushrooms. Or mushrooms. Or he's not really into seafood. No, he eats basically exclusively fries and pasta. And that is it? We had a protein app, bruh. That's why he's got no gains, bruh. Do you know what I mean, bruh?

Like, he's got no gains. No vegetables? Nah. Ever? Nah a protein app, brah. That's why he's got no gains, brah. Do you know what I mean, brah? Like, he's got no gains. No vegetables? Nah. Ever? Nah, I think every now and then he would, but fries, potatoes. Potatoes. I mean, that's the only vegetable he's getting.

Pasta's got your flour, maybe an egg in it. But he's a fussy eater. Very fussy eater. Like, he's tried to eat other things? Well, I was just trying to look it up to see if he had that ARFIDS, you know, the disorder,

the avoidant restrictive food intake disorder where people like cannot psychologically. They invented a cure for that back in the 80s. It was called a good hiding and staying there

until you're finished. Yeah, and then in the 90s they invented another one that was called No Pud. Oh! No Pud until you're finished. Oh, No Pud.

Yep. But ARFIDS is like a proper disorder of people. It's like a... Yeah, I know. No pud Until you're finished Oh no pud Yep But our fids Our fids is like A proper disorder Of people It's like a Yeah I know I jest

The way that they eat And think It just cannot Go together But he doesn't He's just like No I just Yuck

Food is like Super yucky And I like the fries And I like the pasta I mean yum But not every day Every meal No no no

Does he just not Have breakfast And then go straight To fries and pasta for lunch and fries and pasta for dinner? No, I think he'd probably have fries and pasta for breakfast, fries and pasta for lunch, and fries and pasta for dinner. He just must have turd cubes.

Jagged, sharp, dry cubes. Just, and white. Yeah. Because there's not a lot of fibre in either of those foods. No. No. Anyway. I hope he's taken some Metamucil tabs.

Oh my gosh. Get him to the chemist's warehouse. Get him to the I hope he's taken some Metamucil tabs. Oh my gosh. Get him to the chemist's warehouse. Get him to the chemist's warehouse for some Vibush. I think he is a homosexual so we can only assume he's having some

you know, psyllium husk. Anyway. One can only assume. Surely she's not taking this where I thought it was and then.

Yeah, she did. She did. One can only assume he's mixing some psyllium husk or some water. Or he's just a top. Or he's a top. He's not. He some water. Or he's just a top. Or he's a top.

He's not. He's not. If you've seen the show. Right. Anyway. He's a superpower bottom. I believe. Big call, Vaughan.

Big call. Huge call, but I'm willing to put some money on it. If anyone's got $10, $10, $10, $10, $10, $10, $10, $10. I've got $110. He's a psychic man. He's probably hearing this conversation. He is. He's listening.

He's over there. He's like, oh. Oh, yeah. Unless your grandmother can this conversation. He is. He's listening. He's over there. He's like, oh. Oh, yeah. Unless your grandmother can't keep her mouth shut. Who knows? We want to know this morning, are you a fussy eater and how extreme is it? You know, is it just you've got your 20 foods and there's nothing else, you know, and you can't go out to restaurants or you take a card.

I used to know an old lady who would take a card to restaurants and be like, I don't like these. So if we could work around. They weren't real allergies. Right, okay. I'll say it, they weren't real allergies. But maybe just the way you were brought up, you only ate one kind of food. Yeah. Okay, 0800DARLS.M, give us a call, text through

9696. Just how much of a fussy eater are you? We're talking fussy eaters. We are. Are you a fussy eater? The psychic medium Tyler Henry only eats fries and pasta. Now,

there was talk about the fact that Tyler may be a bottom. Yes, we have. And I do, we've had a text message in, no bottom shaming please. Bottoms are the unsung brave heroes

of the homosexual world and I would not disagree with that at all, ever. We apologise. We certainly weren't. We don't disagree. We were just saying there's no doubt that he is. But then again, you don't know, do you?

You do. You just do. So we want to know not about if you're a bottom or not. That's not what we're talking about. No, that's not what we're taking calls on now. Fussy eaters. That's later. Because chicken, no, it's fries and pasta. That's not good

in the long run. No, it's really not. It's not nearly enough variety. Emily, this is your mum that's a fussy eater. Yes, it is. So she's always been

really picky for our whole lives and like for our childhood she braved it a little bit just so it wouldn't rub her on us. Yeah. But in the past few years, my dad has

taken over the cooking and they've gotten into my food bag and it's all these exciting recipes and flavours. Every single night for dinner, no matter what it is, dad will cover it in sauce and say it's chicken and she'll happily eat it.

I could not deal with that. Even if it's beef? Yeah, anything and she'll, what's for dinner? And he'll say chicken. And that's how we roll as a family. Does she know she's being lied to and she's just happily living as long as I'm told it's chicken or does she literally think it's chicken?

No, I think she may have cautioned on, but she'll have a little pick at it and see what it really is before she actually eats it. If she doesn't like it, it's all over. Also, spending an hour on those box meals is so tedious and then to just then cover it in a sauce. And go, this is chicken.

This is chicken. Wild. Okay, Emily, thank you for sharing. Didn't I wonder if it passed on to the kids? What about Emily and her siblings? Are you guys fussy eaters or are you more like dad and you'll eat anything? No, we're all good. And I'm actually a speech therapist.

So I work with children who have eating needs now. So I help them to feel a bit better. Maybe you can help Vaughan say vegetables. Vegetables. Vegetables. He struggles with the T. He struggles with the T. Struggles with the T. Yeah.

There's a lot going on in that word. More syllables than you ever expect. Vegetables. Emily, thank you. Rachel, this is your husband that's a fussy eater. Yeah. All ale, wake up in the morning before milking and have a V and a cookie. And then be lucky.

Yeah. Be lucky if he has lunch and then just meat and potatoes for dinner. Every day that's what he runs on? Pretty much, yeah. Do his farts stink, Rachel? Sorry, what was that? Do his farts stink?

Yes, they do. Don't know, just when you said V and cookie and then all day nothing and then meat and potatoes, I was like, far out. It's churning around in there. Rachel, thank you. You've got to get that boy on a charcuterie board. We'll get to more of your texts next.

9696. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Speaking of anxiety, over to Hayley. What an appropriate time. I've got anxiety disorder and I always medicate. I medicate and I'm usually fine. But this last week has been horrendous. I don't know what it is.

There it is. I don't know what's going on. It's so annoying. The thing with anxiety is like a lot of people are like, are you all right? Are you worried? You've got a lot on. I'm like, my head feels so clear.

Just my body physically is having a little time. I heard yesterday, super sour lollies. Yeah. Super sour lollies. Well, if you're having, if you feel anxiety coming on and it confuses your brain and your brain's got this other thing it needs to worry about because of course it doesn't like the taste. What I find

really helps when I've got bad anxiety is when people tell me like, no, don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it. What do you got to worry about? What are you worried about? Here's another iced coffee. It's not quite how it works. We've taken your text messages about fussy eating.

Yes, because Tyler Henry, the psychic medium, celebrity psychic medium, only eats fries and pasta. Wild. Which is not a man's diet. Is that going to give you gout? No, not rich enough. No, it's not rich enough. What's that other one that you to give you gout? No, not rich. What's that other one that you're scurvy? Scurvy, man. Where's your vegetables?

Where's your fruits? He should be hopefully taking supplements, but if he's a fussy eater, I can't imagine he's going to want to take a handful of pills and some spirulina every day. Somebody said whenever I go out for dinner with friends, they always put me in charge of choosing the restaurants to ensure there'll be something that I'll... oh, my God.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. You're not getting invited if that's... I don't want to go to dinner with you. Oh, those people. Those people. And then they get there and they're like, I don't know if I really like it. And you're like, well, I'm not liking any of this,

but you chose this restaurant. I'll just have a pork bun. I'll just... You guys share. Do you guys want the pork out of my pork bun? Oh, gosh. And can you also eat the bit of the bun around the pork? Because I don't want any of...

Can you scrape the coriander off my curry? Can I just have a bowl of plain rice? Please, I'm an adult. Whenever I go out for dinner, I'll read that one. Jesus. I feel like, oh, my God. And it moved. We got a new text and it changed.

So it goes, grey, white, grey, white, grey, white. And what I'll do is I'll be like, I've just read a grey one. I'll read the white one and then either. And then we get a new text and they change colour and that's when I get confused. Now, it's what's up. That and I got a tumor.

I reckon the text we got in that bump that down is so worth it. That song is just goatee. It's somebody I used to know, but with different lyrics. That's what's happened there. You're exactly right. It's a very famous thing that music does.

That's all right. It's called sampling. Also a sign you're getting old is when old songs get sampled. Yeah. When songs are huge. And you say something along the lines of, that song's not even old enough to be sampled yet. And it is.

Chewing is challenging for me. I want to eat whole raw foods, but salad has been hard, really hard. The only way I can get through it is now I grow the veggies and then harvest them. And then my brain is like, I better eat this. I've put so much energy into creating it. Oh, okay. I'm getting better at eating cucumber, tomatoes, and capsicum.

Their texture is absolute torture. But got to get my kid eating healthy, and it's worked because she loves raw veggies. The trick is to just cover it in sauces. Cover it in sauces. Cover it in sauces. A friend of mine will not touch anything vegetable or fruit. Her 10 year old son is also

the same. Most nights she has meat and rice with a soy sauce. Really? Yeah. Two thirds of the way there. I would eat in one morning what most people eat in fruit in a year. Oh, your fruit intake's insane. Oh my God, okay. A fussy person's texting their list.

Okay. I have a list on my phone of foods I don't like. Mushrooms, coconut, pineapple, beetroot, beans, chickpeas, cooked tomatoes, Brussels sprouts, celery, cucumber, pumpkin, radish, capsicum, peppers, mango, bruised bananas, stringy bits on bananas and oranges, olives, that's called pith, olives, oysters, mussels, quinoa, corn, asparagus, zucchini, warm raw carrots,

and plain sparkling water. All superfoods. Most of them are all. That is a delicious little meal. That's the produce department. So they're just skipping that thing in that little alleyway that supermarkets have to get straight to the chockeys in the checkout.

Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. I hate this. You can turn around. But don't take your blindfold off. Don't take your blindfold off. I'm doing it the right way. You did really well during that song. You had restless legs, didn't you?

And you were breathing and you're blindfolded and you were... Yeah. Now, you have been struggling with anxiety for a few days now. Six days? Yeah. I have anxiety disorder. I can't talk. I have anxiety disorder and I have medication

and it comes in ebbs and flows, but the last six days I haven't been able to get on top of it. We thought what we would do is invite a special guest in to cheer you up. Way better. Just to make, yeah, to cheer you up because you've been having a rough few days. Yeah.

And, you know, we know who you like. We know what you like. If it's someone on my board, it's going to be embarrassing that my board is there. Yeah, Hayley has pictures of Chloe Swarbrick. The Devil of Dublin. Stephen Adams. Jason Momoa and Stephen Adams.

Yes. Just to inspire my day. Now we've had in... Jason. Stephen. And we've had Eric on the phone. Yeah. Is Chloe here?

No, it's kittens. Oh, my God, it's kittens. You said a little while ago, you have mentioned on and off for a while. You're like, we need kittens in studio. And our friends at Animates have brought in Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. These three kittens. Yay! Oh, my God, these kittens.ch, Vaughan and Hayley. These three kittens. Yay!

Oh, my God. These kittens. Our kitten friend. Obviously, oh, my God. Which one's this one? That's Hayley. Okay, don't let Hayley jump off the desk. And thanks to our new show sponsor, Animates, who you don't sell the kittens,

but you've actually got in the Nine Lives Orphanage. Yes, correct. To help make this happen. Yes, so we just wanted make this happen. Yes. So we just wanted to make some happy happen for you guys today. So we have partnered with one of our many charities. And, yeah, we've got three kittens here from Nine Lives. So very exciting.

Oh. Didn't mean to make you cry. I love cats so much. And I rescued my cat and he brings me such joy. We rescued mine as well. No, you didn't. You rescued it from a breeder. Oh my god, which one's this?

Vaughan. This is Vaughan. Hayley's the girl, the black and white girl. That's Hayley and this is Fletch over here with the blue collar on. Oh my god. Do you know, all the time, you can write an email. You can. No interest found.

Every day. Every day. Well, not every day, but I'm always like, we need to get kittens in here. Like, when I'm just feeling down or we're feeling a bit tired or bored or frustrated. Well, we did hear that, that you always asked if it was kittens, so. Oh, come back, Ward. Here we are. Is that Hayley?

Can I have a hold of Hayley? You can hold Hayley. Oh, my God. This is how the cats get you, though. They look at you with these eyes and you're like, I can do another cat. I must take this home now. I'm going to send a photo to my partner, Aaron,

and just be like, what if? What if? What if? What if? Amazing. Well, we hope that helps so if people want to adopt cats as i'm literally wearing my cat lady top you don't have them it was meant to be store but if people go into animates and say hey i want to adopt a cat you can hook them up with uh yeah so we work with all sorts of different adoption agencies and we have adoption days in stores.

So, yeah, you can basically either check out our social pages or talk to your local store and they will tell you when the next adoption day is. So that's how you can get your hands on one of these. Don't eat that cable. Weird, you've disciplined that cat more than you've disciplined your own cat and all of its life. Yeah, but the couch isn't worth as much as this desk

with all the buttons. And a cat buying a cat. This is such, you know, animals are very, I mean, I know they say about dogs, like when humans are sad, like dogs will always sniff it out and come find you. My cat does it. Anytime I'm feeling really anxious or sad or anything like that, he always comes and sort of like snuggles in. They're very...

Oh, my God, Hayley. I'm holding Hayley. Oh, my God. She's loving it. Look at him. And I'm not at all thinking about my anxiety. Hello, darling. Oh, this is the best.

You guys are amazing. Thank you so much. Oh, we're just super excited about the partnership with ZM and Animates. No one's more excited than us. Glad we can make your day. What are you doing, you little vauncer? I'm trying to get a... Classic Vauncer.

He's distracted with his own tail. He's forgotten he's on air. Classic Vauncer. Classic Vauncer. Classic Vauncer. Well, thank you to our new show sponsor, Animates, and also the Nine Lives Orphanage for making this happen. We'll leave Hayley with her cats now.

Oh, my God. This has absolutely made my morning. Life doesn't get better. Thank you. We'll get some photos up online as well. If you adopt these ones, you've got to keep their names too. Yes. Absolutely.

Yes. Oh, my God. You're my soul mate. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Oh my God, I feel so good. The kittens have just left and wow. Oh, they're just still out there.

I'm glad no member of my family could see those cats because I would be bullied into it again. I know, I know. It's so terrible. Like, Rolly would hate to have a new friend in the house, but my whole heart is telling me that Hayley has to come home with me. Oh, thank you, guys. Great surprise.

Great surprise. So is that weight, is the anxiety fixed? Not quite how it works. Is that how it works? Yeah. Next we're going to deal with depression. Cancel the doctor's appointment. Next break, depression.

Next we solve everyone's depression. We've heard from Amber, a listener of the show, and she has sent in a photo of a bus stop in St. Halley's, Auckland, with a Fletch Vaughan and Hayley poster in it. Us. It's us. Great. Some marketing.

We're marketing the show trying to accumulate new listeners. Well, good morning if you are a new listener who saw a billboard and felt, that's a bit of me. And not a good morning to the person who saw the billboard and said, I'm going to scribble on Vaughan's face. Vaughan bought the brunt of this. Why, Alvornay? It seems.

Is it because you're in the middle of the poster? I don't know. I've been given a sort of a large koala-esque nose, a scribbly mouth and two eyes. It's not even your classic glasses and moustache and buck teeth.

Do you remember that time that someone climbed up on the back of a bus and drew a D&B on your face? Yes, I do. Do you remember the time

there were the posters? Everybody remembers traumatic things that happened to me. Yeah. Do you remember the time there was the posters in Wellington

on the wall outside? Wellington's real groovy and we were like smiling and someone going, DMV, right in the mouth. Yeah. I always know it when I do like a show poster or a promo image or something and you see the image and you're like, ha, like big wide mouth, you're like, it's going to get DMV'd.

Yeah. Not like, it's gagging. You just can't do a, it's going to get DMV'd. Yeah. It's gagging. You just can't do a poster that's going to be anywhere where someone might walk past with a pen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a mouth open. Yeah. I always think that. And then I think sometimes

people do it on purpose. Because obviously it draws more attention to the poster when it's got some graffiti on it than it does otherwise. Right. Well, what are we going to do about this? I just want to know who cleanses bus shelters. Wait, Hayley and I are fine. Untouched.

We're untouched. Who cleanses these bus shelters? Who do I get in contact with? Is this an Auckland Transport thing? Well, it feels like to you, have you made an enemy? Because they have not even done a funny monobrow on Fletch and I. Have you been running your mouth again? Have you been running your big fat mouth? My big fat mouth does love to run. Have you been running your mouth again? Have you been running your big fat mouth?

My big fat mouth does love to run. Have you been getting a little bit lippy lately? Well, I don't know who Pobies is. Is that the graffiti artist? P-O-E-B. Phoebes? Pebbes. Pobies?

Okay. Pubies. I don't know who you are. Po-boys. Love a po-boy sandwich. I don't know who you are, but you watch it, bucko. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do?

I got you. I know. I got some jiff. I got some jiff. I got some jiff in it. And one of those weird foam sponges that somehow takes the magic marker. No, that'll scratch the glass. No, no, no.

The magic marker stuff. The magic thing. And it dissolves in your hand as you're using it. You know those sponges? Oh, yeah. But that's basically tiny sandpaper for your wall. Yeah, it is. No, we can't be using that. I think we just have to leave it as is and just know that

everyone, you know, thinks Vaughn's the worst member of Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You know? Sounds good. Tomorrow's silly little poll. Who's your favourite? Don't do it! No! I'm willing to roll the dice. The anxiety's back. The anxiety's back.

You've undone all of our great work. The cats. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, aroma, olfactory Stench Stench, well you know what? You've actually not nailed it Really?

Because today we're looking Yesterday we talked about coffee And it's appealing aroma to humans And the smells that universally people like the most Today we're talking about the smells that universally people like the most. Today we're talking about the smells that people can't stand and what causes those smells. Okay. And I will say, if you are a fan of a strong cheese,

this may deter you a little bit because most things that cause the smells that put humans off the most that we're primarily sort of like wired to avoid, you will also find in cheese. Oh. Okay. I quite like a stinky cheese. Me too.

When I smell it blue, I'm like, oh, yeah. Get a slither of peel on that. I like eating it, but, yeah, the smell can be a bit much sometimes. That stinky cheese. Blue vein. Big, fat, stinky blue vein. It's mostly blue. Yeah.

Well, isovaleric acid is found in foot sweat, smelly socks, and cheese. So that is why, like, bad feet and socks do smell like cheese. Cheese, yeah. Ooh, cheesy feet. Cheesy feet. Ooh, cheesy feet. Yeah, cheesy. Yeah. And it also sounds like you might want to put it on a cracker and eat it.

You know what I mean? Like, yum. Go wash your feet or smear them on a cracker. But yum. Okay. Methanethanol is found in spoiled vegetables, farts, and skunk spray. Oh, wow. It's also one of the compounds responsible for bad breath from garlic and onions.

Because the digestion of them, you're putting the thing and causes it. So that's one of the other ones that we're functioned to not like. Hydrogen sulfide is the smell that, is the thing that gives rotten eggs and sewage its distinctive smell. Sewage I hate. Rotten eggs I'm kind of fine with. Sewage is just. No, like a proper rotten egg. Like a proper like. Oh, I don't think I? Like a proper, like, I found an egg...

Oh, I don't think I've ever smelt a rotten egg. I found an egg in an abandoned nest. Oh, we got in so much trouble at the Rose House when we were young. We found an old peacock's nest and we threw the eggs at each other, but we didn't know it was abandoned and they were rotten,

and we all came back in and we're like, we smell bad. Help us, we stink. And Mrs. Rowe gave us all smacks, I think, even the ones that weren't her children. You know what? I'd say warranted. that weren't her children. You know what? I'd say warranted. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what? Warranted. And then did she want an approval? Did she hose you down? Hose us down, yeah. Yeah, okay. Even the small amounts of the hydrogen sulfide can make people gag. So the next one is scatoli and indole.

This is present in human and animal feces as well as strong cheeses. Oh, yuck. Interesting. In tiny amounts, indole smells floral and can be used as perfume. In perfumes. But in large quantities, it smells like poos. Okay.

And it's the thing that kind of warns us that there's waste in the area. So we're kind of like programmed not to do it. Do you guys like the smell of your own poos? No. Neither. What? Sometimes. Neither. What? Sometimes. But not like.

What? Not like. But like interesting. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not like yum, but I'm like all right. Why would you admit that? Okay.

Why would you admit that? Because I'm just open. I'm just open. I'm just feeling like sharing And you open it and you're like I'll give a couple of sprays And then someone in the house is like Oh my god

And you're like, it's not that bad It's not that bad It's actually a good one It's a good one Interesting I like it Do you have a fragrance that you've banished to the bathroom? Yeah

Like an old fragrance that you used to use Or like was gifted to you but you don't like I don't fragrance our bathroom. After I stink and poop, open a window, put the fan on. Because then it becomes synonymous with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're like, God, lavender. That's the one with public bathrooms, right?

Yeah, yeah, totally. My granite had a box of matches in the bathroom. And on one end would be the burnt end that he'd light after he did his business to kind of eliminate the smell. And the other end would be wax because he'd clean his ears. He was a good man! Butyric acid is also, this is found in vomit, foot odour, and

it gives us that gut-wrenching reaction that something's gone off, but guess what? It's in Parmesan cheese. I love Parmesan cheese. That's a stinky cheese. And the number one smells that repulse humans, and we're primarily wired to avoid these for survival reasons,

is cadaverine and putrescine. This is the smell of rotting flesh and decay. I don't think I've ever smelled it. No, luckily no. So it's found in spoiled meat and corpses. So primarily we're wired to be like, we can't drink water from around here because there's death. Or someone has died here.

Whatever caused its death might still be here. We should move out of the area. And guess what? Thankfully not found in cheese. Oh, thankfully. Because that would have really poo-pooed a lovely strong blue. A lovely Havarti. Yeah.

I was told it smelt like a decomposing body. So today's fact of the day is most of the stuff that we find putrid, repulsive and sort of a warning to our primary olfactory senses of smell, you'll also find in cheese. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Now, I promised you a story of love and here it is. Can I tell nothing but lies? And that's the perfect balance.

Or do I? Yeah. Or is that the lie? Shut up. Answer the riddle or die Okay, so there was a woman Her name's Carrie And when she matched with Randy

On Tinder She went in with one intention only Carrie is 31, Randy's 64 What do you believe the intention to be? Love True love Money She admits And these are her words not mine Intention to be. Love. True love. Money. Money.

She admits, and these are her words, not mine, that when she matched with Randy64 on Tinder, a much older looking man, in the photos he looked, you know, boats, lifestyle, trips, holidays. He looks cashed up. Cashed up. Yeah.

She admitted that she planned to, quote, milk him dry. Milk him dry. Milk him dry. Financially. Wow. Thank you for the clarification on financially. Please, go on. I just want to make sure.

Yeah. Right, 64, you know, just get tighter and harder. But anyway, so Randy said, was obviously like he said, there was an instant attraction to Carrie. Yeah. She's 31 years old, you know, much younger. And so they started dating. But six months in, what Carrie didn't realise is that her heart was going to open to Randy.

And she fell deeply, deeply in love with him. So now she's actually in love with him. Yeah. I mean, look at them. They're the happiest couple you'll ever see. Yes, she's more than half of his age. Yeah. Yes, she went in with the intention

of taking Randy's hard-earned cash. How was this in the news? Did she do some kind of like, TikTok series? Dude, I was going to say, it's TikTok, right? Yeah, they've got a YouTube channel. Oh, okay. Right, they're launching the YouTube channel.

Launching the YouTube channel. Yeah. There was like a video. It's called Love to Uncharge. Hey guys, I just wanted to come on here to say, any video that starts like that. Hi guys, I just want to come on here and say. Lots of you have been asking.

Lots of you have been asking. They haven't. Zero people. They haven't. And yes, I will admit, like originally when I met Randy, I just wanted to milk him dry for his money. Financially, of course.

But then I didn't realize Randy was such a beautiful man and I've fallen head over heels wanted to milk him dry for his money. Financially, of course. But then I didn't realise Randy was such a beautiful man and I've fallen head over heels in love with him. And now, I don't even care about the money. They're still getting married. She still gets the money.

Do you think there'll be a prenup? No mention? Come on, Randy. Because he looks cashed out. I mean, he's got boats and stuff. Daddy's cashed up. Yeah. Yeah.

He said, I fell in love with Carrie in about six months because one, she's gorgeous and two, she's very honest. Multiple said, I fell in love with Carrie in about six months because one, she's gorgeous and two, she's very honest. Multiple times I left credit cards on the counter that she could have taken and she never did. Now that's how you know. Set traps for them. She's there

for love and not money. Wow. Anyway, this got us thinking this morning because she's in there originally going this guy is not my type at all, but has fallen in love with him through and through yeah

in an honest way so she says allegedly for legal reasons we have to say that but I want to know like was your partner not your type

when you first met them maybe you just took a gamble on something or just thought you know what I've been dating this kind of guy for so long

I'm going to go for this kind of nerdy weedy looking loser and then you're like years down to go for this kind of nerdy, weedy-looking loser. And then years down the track, you're happily together. Married the weedy loser, you know? Yeah. Because, I mean, types change, don't they? Or the right person might change it for you.

Or you just haven't opened your mind to that type? Yeah, exactly. Like you think you've got a type? Yeah, or maybe you went in for the money. And then your heart said, you don't need money, you need love. And this man can provide that for you. Okay, well, let's take your calls. 0800-DARLS-IT-AM.

Love to hear from you. You can text through. We love us a medium ugly guy. We do! Medium ugly. So not ugly. Not ugly, not hot. We love a medium.

I would say the majority of people I've been with are medium ugly. Okay, right. And good morning to your fiancé. Not my fiancé. Do you think people think the same about you? Sorry? What? What did you say?

We just got to the cats and the anxiety and now you call me medium ugly. Outrageous. I am not medium ugly. I am below hot. Okay? I'm hovering just below hot. It goes medium ugly. Medium. Medium.

Below hot. It goes medium ugly, medium, medium hot, below hot. No, below hot. Medium hot would be above hot. Below hot. Below hot, medium hot. I'm in the hot. You hot would be above hot. It would be below. Below hot. Okay. Below hot, medium hot.

I'm in the hot. You're in the hot area. I'm not medium ugly. A lot of people have slept with a medium ugly, but not me. They left being like, how did I get that? Yeah. Okay, that was their experience. So 0800DARMS.M, give us a call, text 09696.

Was your partner not your type when you met? We want to know, was your partner not your type when you met them? Because there was a young woman, 31, she met her partner, 64, and she only went with him because she wanted to drain him of his money. Milk him dry were her words. Her words. But she ended up falling in love with him. She says she's very attracted to him now and they're getting married.

And now, of course, they've got a YouTube channel. They've got a YouTube channel and she gets to enjoy his money. Sarah, was your partner not your type when you met him? No, he was not my type at all. I was a single mom with two kids looking for a beneficial friend. He was very much not looking at me like that either. And, yeah, he's nine years younger than me. We have now been together for three years. And I'm pregnant with his first baby.

Yay! Oh, my God. What's Sarah? Yeah, so it does happen, and he is now fully my only type. Wow, okay. Once you find it, you lock it in, don't you? Absolutely.

I locked him down. I think we need to check in with him, make sure he's okay. Is he allowed to leave the house? I locked him down. Sarah, thank you. Sherry, good morning. Sherry, was your partner not your type when you met?

No, not at all. So he was my friend's older brother. Oh, my God, this is a trope in erotica. Best friend's older brother. Oh my God, this is a trope in erotica. Best friend's brother. Yep, friend's brother, older brother and definitely the more Bogan-styled,

lived at home with his parents and I remember her telling me that he'll always live at home with his parents. So you were like, ooh, not attractive. I was like, ooh, gross. But he always used to get the girls, and I could never understand it

because he was such a loser. Anyway, I went off to uni. Such a loser. I went off to uni, came back one summer, he locked eyes on me, and that was the end of it. Uh-oh. Wow. Wait, are you together now?

We're married. We have two children. Does he still live at home? Is he still a loser? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's still a big loser. But he's your loser. Still a big loser.

He's my loser. He's your loser. Oh, that's nice. That's a beautiful story. It is. Cherry, thank you. So many messages in. I was always attracted to floppy-haired, funny, older guys.

And my husband was the bad boy type and he's younger than me, but here we are. Yeah, okay. I was in a relationship with a girl and we were together for 10 years. That ended. Went on Bumble to have fun. And I swiped right on a beautiful Indian man and we're now married with a boy.

Certainly wasn't what I was looking for at the time. That's what you want. You want an Indian wedding. I wanted to meet an Indian boy so that I could have an Indian wedding with all boy. Oh. Certainly wasn't what I was looking for at the time. That's what you want. You want an Indian wedding. That's what I want. I wanted to meet an Indian boy so that I could have an Indian wedding with all the garb. You just want the attention.

The nose ring and the jewellery and the three-day attention on me and the red dress, the saris. What you really want there is the attention. Yeah, yeah, but I'll marry an Indian guy for it. And a cheese and garlic man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a cheese and garlic man.

Oh, my God. And those momos. They're like dumplings. Oh, my God. I've gotos. They're like dumplings. Oh my God. Catering at this wedding. Guys. Any Indian boys out

there? Over 100, dial ZDM. My husband was not my type at first. He'd just been released from prison. Oh wow. I was nosy and

asked what he... That's not your type? Recently released from prison, not your type? I thought that was everybody's type. You're not going to be able to holiday a few

places, are you? You need a visa. I was nosy and asked what he went in for and then didn't stop talking from there and we've been married three years this year. Oh, okay. Got a bad boy. My type for 25 years was a hot athlete type.

Then a not-so-athletic redhead guy asked me out. I was very reluctant. I took several bottles of wine to convince me I should give him a chance. Still, I was reluctant. He wasn't my type at all. So I talked it over with my best friend and her advice was clearly your type isn't working. Yeah.

And we've been together for 10 years and have a beautiful daughter together. You know what they say about redheads? We love to see a ginger do it well! We love to see the gingers thrive! What do they say about redheads? What were you going to say? We're running out of time. What were you going to say about redheads? Keep your texts coming in 9696.

Say it, you've got time. Say it. You've got time, Fletch. What do they say about redheads? What going to say about redheads? Keep your texts coming in 9696. Say it. You've got time. Say it. You've got time, Fletch. What did they say about redheads? What did they say about redheads? Cassie Henderson. Say it. Out of time.

Right now we want to know if when you met your partner, were they not your type? And we're getting plenty of people. Who's just having their brains switched? Georgia Burt. Now Georgia Stew Stews. Georgia Stew Stews.

Just got married. Georgia Spurt. Was Haim your type when you met him? Yeah. Yeah, he was. To a T, to blue eyed. Yeah. Played rugby.

Yeah. Yeah. That was Aaron. Big. But didn't play rugby. Didn't play. No, I just mean that was my type. Yeah.

What's your type? Big. Big. Like that guy at the gym you were perving at yesterday. I was. Was it just me perving, was it? Hayley got busted. Like thrice.

Yeah, but sometimes you just really have to double, triple. You have to triple check. Triple check. I did so much fake stretching. Sorry, I looked like, sorry, I thought you were someone I knew. One leg, real limber by the end of that session. I'm bendy today from all the fake stretching I was doing trying to catch an eyeful. Anyway, that's by the by.

We're talking about when they weren't your type at the outset, but they became your type pretty quickly. Ended up at the complete opposite of my normal type, which was a curly-haired, blue-eyed white boy. Ended up marrying a beautiful Indian man. I tell you what, Indian men are getting some praise on the show today. Hell yeah. Shout out.

Yeah. Huge Indian wedding and got to travel to India Living my best life That's my dream I keep asking Erin She actually said I know a few single Indian men Hayley we could arrange a marriage here Well I mean I've sort of got a marriage On the burner

On the simmer Italian weddings aren't as sort of grandiose as Indian What about an Italian Indian wedding Could I have an Indian blessing Just to have the Indian wedding with no Indian on either side? I don't know how that works.

Don't call me, but I always thought hairy men were gross. Oh no. Been together with a very hirsute man now for 11 years. Okay. Hairy men are hot. Gotta love that. A beef tank beer. Hairy boys. Love artists and skaters end up marrying a finance bro. Oh, yeah. More money.

Honestly, how have you saved too? I've learned that. Yeah. How much money are you making with the kickflips? And also just embarrassing when you need to go find your 45-year-old husband at the skate park. Yeah, I know. Come home. Excuse me, young boy. Have you seen a very tall man? Yeah. I was in a string of

failed relationships. I decided to go on Bumble. I was in a string of failed relationships so I decided to go and Bumble was having a bit of a window shop to see what was out there. I swiped on someone who I normally wouldn't swipe on but there was something

about him and I realised it was the fact that he looked a bit like me and we're basically the same person in a boy and girl film. Siblings or dating.

Siblings or dating. Need to see the photo. Need to see, yeah. Can we submit your photo to siblings or dating? Yeah. Okay, here's one of these. Now, I like these stories where you realise

that perhaps the way you were raised wasn't the correct way. Oh, yeah. I worked with a guy in a pub that I was scared of. He's a very tall and muscly Māori man, and I was raised by a racist family in Australia. Far out, okay. Once I wasn't scared of him anymore, I thought this could be a fun time.

And he said he doesn't dip his pen in the company ink And I thought Principles, I like that I quit my job within the month And we now have three kids living in New Zealand Celebrating eight years together tomorrow That is so nice Happy anniversary

Racism That's a big thing to overcome We can all overcome racism Just by stop being racist Have you seen how hot racism. And that's a big thing to overcome. We can all overcome racism. We can. Just by stop being racist. Yeah. Have you seen how hot that, everybody is.

It's really hot. If you're a white minger, trust me. Take it from me. Take it from the man that knows, if you're a white minger, and you have a baby, with someone of a different race,

it gives them like five points. The minginess is gone. The minginess somehow seems to get bred out. It gets dampened out. They get all these lovely dark features. And all that minga stuff, like, you know, the skin cancer prone skin and the bad teeth and the long pointy noses, it all kind of gets, it gets moonlit up a little bit.

It softens, everything softens, and it's beautiful and lovely. Then you go to the beach, and you're the really reflective white guy and everyone else is here. Family's already got this beautiful copper tie. It's beautiful. Beautiful. And you've got to think about your children. Anyway.

Anyway. I'm sweating. That's show done. Yeah. Really? I was just getting started. I was just getting started on my TED talk on why it's best we all do. We all just become one big melting pot.

Imagine that's your TED talk Why you should Hook up with brown people And here's Some hot people And Boons has got Slideshows of hot people That yeah I can put it together

Within the hour Delicious Alright that's your task For you today Oh I'm busting For a wheeze After that podcast I'll tell you

What It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheeze. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it, okay? I read it. Give us a review.