ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 20th May 2024

Episode Date: May 19, 2024

Top 6: Old Receipts  Best Tasting Water in NZ  Silly Little Poll!  Fletch spotted a Celeb!  What was considered Cheating?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. I don't know. I mean, I know you're watching Clarkson's Farm, but Jeremy Clarkson, the sexiest... Brit?

Yeah. I don't know. I'd rather not, personally. I like the TV show, but I can't speak to the sexiness of it. Yeah. To each their own? I mean, to each their own, but you know. Who are we to say?

Yeah. I mean, I'm not a model or anything, but you know. Is he fishing? I'm Fletch. I'm just half British. Oh, yeah, right. Like, would you rather sleep with me or Jeremy Clarkson? Oh, shoot, that's tough.

Are you seriously having to think about it? He is loaded. He is so rich. He is so rich. He is so rich. What do you reckon his net worth is? Have a little looky poo. I looked it up recently

when we were watching Clarkson's Farm because he was just spending money. Oh, 70 million. That's why he's got all those nice tractors. Yeah, that'll be US.

Yeah. Another one says 40 million pounds. So yeah, 80 mil New Zealand. Yeah. Yeah. So you'll be US. Yeah. Another one says 40 million pounds. So yeah, 80 mil New Zealand. Yeah. Yeah. So you'll be just falling a little bit behind off there. Right.

So you're saying that, yeah, right. I mean, I guess it's like... If it was a mind-blowing shag, you know what I mean? Like I could get a small... I only want a small slice of that. I don't even need that much. Okay. Could I really apologise on behalf of my voice here.

I know, listen to you. It's not great. Yeah, so Wellington shows, tick, done. Tick, done. It's a great show. I went to the Saturday night show. Yeah. People loved it.

Thank you, they did. You got a lot of compliments. Yes, I did. I won't give you any more because I feel your head's big enough from the weekend. I know, it was pretty inflated, but it has left me somewhat tired. But I've got a couple of days to fix this. Sexiness. So you've got Monday and Tuesday off.

Yeah, I'm only opening on Wednesday. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Yeah. Okay. Will you please rest? What do you think Vaughn will think of it? He'll love it. I don't like sex stuff.

You know what I mean? You make him very uncomfortable. Very vanilla. I don't like sex stuff. You know what I mean? Very vanilla. Make him very uncomfortable. Yeah. Very vanilla. I don't like sex stuff. Sade might get into the bedroom after seeing my show and have all sorts of ideas. Oh. Do you know, we were worried that big-hearted James' mum was coming to the show.

You know. You know, because she's just a sweetie. She's just an absolute sweetie. And then she said at the end of the show, she said, I don't know why anyone was worried about that. Yeah. Oh, really?

I didn't think that was going to shock me. We were like, oh, really? Yeah, so, you know, you learn something every day, don't you? Well, Big Heart Jones

doesn't want to talk about it. He was quite... But his mother is... Yeah, we were... Sexually adventurous. You know when you just start prodding with a bit of banter

Yeah, it doesn't go down well He was not reacting Gotcha It was not going down well It was very quick All night he shut it down The top six Soon

Someone discovered a pack and save receipt from 1994 Oh, the good old days The good old days of What have we got on here? Let me have a zoom in. Bananas at $1.50 a kilogram. A kilogram of bananas for $1.50. How much is a kilogram now?

Like $10? Well, a bunch of bananas wouldn't be a kilogram or might just be pushing a kilogram, right? Yeah, it's not $1.50. It's certainly not. What are we, $3.49? There is stuff on here that you're like, I'm pretty sure that's what it would cost.

A Leaning Tower pizza. A home ever, though. $650. Okay, that's quite a big pizza. I thought the Leaning Tower ones were like those little ones that started as a CD. They did do CD-sized pizzas. But this is a $650 pizza for $5.50. Oh, you never get gram pizza for $5.50. You never get that pizza now for that.

Kiwi fries, 2kg bag of fries for $3. It's not bad. Tell you what, they bought a few cans of fresh up though. 250 ml cans of fresh up. Just willy nilly. Cans of fresh up. It might have been their concentrate stuff. Remember that?

Were they talking big fizz? No, I think they were talking like cans. And like cheese was like $5 or something. I know. Six-pack of Chelsea buns, $1. Donuts, $1.30. There's a whole lot on here. So I've got the top six things that are weirdly missing from this receipt

that I thought everybody got in the 1990s. Okay. I'm into it. Next on the show, the Olympics. What, just a couple of months away in July in Paris? In Gay Paris. In Gay Paris. Not everybody can afford to go as easily as everybody else.

Some British divers are doing some fundraising, but not the traditional old fundraising. There's no bake sale. There's no bake sale here. No meat raffle. There's some meat on show, though. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. An oft-forgot sexy element of the Olympics is the diving squad. We all get a bit carried away with the sprinting and the beach volleyball and the swimming in general, but the diving squad not to be forgotten and to make sure we don't forget about the skeet shooters.

Oh, I'll never forget the skeet shooters. There's something for everybody. Yeah, thank you. There's something for everybody at the Olympics. The curlers get me. We're rating in sexiness. Are we including Winter Olympics? I was just going to, all sports.

All sports. Curlers. Lawn bowls. You think rugby players have nice strong thighs. I see these curlers. And lawn bowlers. Yeah, they're constantly lunging, aren't they? They've got great arses on them.

Oh, lawn bowlers. Power dumpers. Yeah. Jack chasers. Yeah. Well, it's the British divers who we're being reminded of their sexiness. They've put photos onto OnlyFans. Oh.

Mm-hmm. Gold medalist Jack Lauer. Googling. And Noah Williams. British divers, highboard divers. Yeah. And they've put photos on OnlyFans. Apparently the bosses at Aquatics Great Britain

are very relaxed about them being on OnlyFans because it's an issue with funding. These guys are trying to make money. Oh, wow. They train so hard and there's not a lot

of funding for them. So they are looking to raise money with what they got going on. Right. Hayley's just shown us their abdominal region. The gutters be popping,

you know. Jeepers, creepers. Yeah, they're on the lean, very lean, lean muscular side of things. Yeah. If that's your bag. Well, because they're ac creepers. Yeah, they're on the lean, muscular side of things. Yeah. If that's your bag. Well, because they're acrobats, aren't they?

I know this from my friends in the homosexual community. Oh, do you? Homos. Homos. I struggle to say it because I'm, you know. Such a Catholic boy. Such a good Christian. Homosexuals, twinks, I think they call these.

Do they? Yes, very. Lack of body hair. Yeah, right. Smelt. Yeah, blonde. Thin. Muscular.

Divers normally quite short too, aren't they? Yeah, not massive, guys. Yeah, not tall. Well, the longer they are, the more body there is to turn around over and over and over in the air. He kept giving the top tuft of his pubes a little bit of a trim because they're really short speedos. They're so small and low down. and over in the air. Given the top tuft of his pubes, a little bit of a shame. Because they're really short speedos.

They're so small and low down. I can see... Is that how they're meant to sit or is that a sexy low... There's really not much left to show on it. Only fans, is there really? Yeah, I'm getting this for free. But also, how embarrassing is that that even the sport is like,

yeah, we don't get the funding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like come on government, give us some money. Yeah, we're only fans. We're having to go on only fans. It's Jack's fourth Olympics, Noah's second and previously have said that there's not a lot of funding in it for their sport. Yeah.

While Team Great Britain won't be promoting it, they also, unless they want to fund us more, probably can't tell us we can't. Right, so they're not retweeting, they're not resharing. No. Yeah, okay, right. Team Great Britain's not like, hey, check out these two hot divers.

We don't want to pay them more, but you can subscribe to them monthly. So are you saying if we want to support athletes, if we want to support athletes, it's not for us, it's almost an act of charity, we should get OnlyFans. Yes. Start subscribing to OnlyFans.

Or if you need to get to nationals, coming up. Oh, yeah, marching nationals. Get the team together. We used to run a house there, but this would have been way easier. Marching boots on, kilt, nothing else. Yeah. Why not? Baps and busbies. Well, some of those celebrities don't even show everything, do they?

No, they're just like, hey. Boo. Yeah, boo. Quarter past six. Next on the show, I'd like to explain to you, we've had FOMO, fear of missing out. Oh, yep. Now we've got FOPO.

FOPO. Yeah. Not to be confused with FUPA, that's different. Okay. Clay, Zed Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. FOMO. Fear of missing out. Yeah.

LMAO. Laugh my ass off. Yeah. LOL. Laugh out loud. Or lots of love. JOMO. The joy of missing out.

That's you. You're a JOMO. You have a lot of JOMO. Yeah. Now we've got FOPO, but I would argue if we were really breaking it down, I'd say it's FUPO. Okay. I'd say it's F-O-O-P-O as opposed to just F-O-P-O.

It is the fear of other people's opinion. Okay. Which. Isn't that just called anxiety? Yeah. Isn't that just called life? Oh, is it more of anxiety? Yeah. Isn't that just called life? Oh, is it more of anxiety? I took it when you said it as people who put

themselves in an echo chamber of people that agree with them, which can be a dangerous thing. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals and only ever hearing your own opinion said back to you. No, no, no, no. So, yeah, so your FOPO would be the fear of a new opinion

coming into your life. Is that what you're saying? As opposed to everyone disagreeing with you all the time. Yeah. No, this is just like fear of what people think of you. Which I would like to think I didn't have. But boy, oh boy, I love external validation.

Very much so. That's why you do all your jobs. It's why I am existing in this realm. It's so that people can constantly tell me, you're doing all right and I enjoy you. But apparently it's on the rise and they've just given it a name that people are caring too much about what people think of them. I mean, I would say that you don't really give a toss, do you?

Try not to. You try not to. I mean, everyone does to a degree, don't they? Yeah. Because everybody wants to be liked, right? It's funny, like, because you do think, because they're saying, like, you know, everyone sort of feels like they're under a spotlight

and everyone's, you know, giving their opinion on them and has an opinion on them. And then you step back and you're like, probably not. Nah. Nah. Probably not. People are too consumed with their own lives. Yeah.

They're not thinking about you. Yeah, totally. It's like people who worry about what people think of them at the gym. Everybody's too worried about what you're thinking of them to worry about what they think of you. Oh, God, yeah. Well, like I'm at the gym, I'm just in la-la land, like listening to music or just daydreaming.

Totally. Unless it's a 10. Unless I'm a 10. And then a 10. That's not an opinion on someone. That's just fat. I saw a Vaughan Smith 11

at the weekend. Now that's off the charts. Yeah, I had to message Vaughan and say I've seen an 11. At Wellington, Les Mills. No, no, just in Wellington. Oh, sorry. It's just out and about.

Wellington's like a field full of clovers. You know, you're walking through. You're like, there's lots of three leaves here. What? And then occasionally you'll find a full of clovers. You know, you're walking through, you're like, there's lots of three leaves here. And then occasionally you'll find a four-leaf clover. Very rare, but when you do, it's important you take it. No, it's full of the sexies.

Put it between two sheets of baking paper in the middle of a cyclopedia. Wellington's very sexy. We've just spent all weekend there. It's a very sexy city. It's too wet. It's not too wet. It was a beautiful day. On the sexier people migrate to a drier climate.

Do they? Let's, um, yeah, youier people migrate to a drier climate. Do they? That's, yeah, you're right there. A drier climate, yeah. So, I mean, how do you, getting back to the FOPO. Well, do you know, I was thinking about this, the FOPO, fear of people's opinions, because I was sharing with a few of our friends on, over the weekend, what I say to myself before I go on stage.

Because I do, you go out there and you're like, what if they don't like it? And you go through your head and you're like, what if they don't like it and da-da-da-da-da, and you go through your head and you're like, you are worried about their opinion of you in multiple ways or even how you look or how you sound or if you're funny or whatnot or if your singing is good or blah-blah-blah. And I'm always just like, people are just like,

aren't around wanting you to not be successful or aren't around like wanting you to fail or do something bad. People generally want you to be like succeeding and doing well. Yeah. That's what I always say to myself. Not me. Before I go out,

I'm always like, they want you to succeed. Nothing. Nothing brings me joy. It's actually, well, the whole tall poppy thing plays into it,

doesn't it? Yeah, for sure. As well. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I just wouldn't worry about what other people, like don't waste all that time. Well, they say that fear of other people's opinions robs you of your potential

because you're so fixated on that thing as opposed to just living your life. Get out there, guys. Live your life. Live your life today, guys. Release the fopo. I gave it Maori vowels there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Polynesian. It sounded like, Release the fopo. I gave it Maori vowels there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Polynesian. It sounded like... Release the Fopo. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Well, howdy.

Howdy. Somebody on Reddit found a pack and save receipt from 1994 in their parents' garage. Speaking of things at your parents' house that are old. I sent this to the lads, but I don't know if I sent it to you guys. I found at my parents' house a C-cell battery. Yeah.

Rare. That had an expiry date of September 2001. The month that our Twin Towers fell. Oh, wow. The battery was no good after that date, according to manufacturer. But your parents still have it. It was still in the drawer. And I was like, Mum, you've got to throw this out. And she's like, does it still work?

I was like, I don't know. But like manufacturer said, expiry. She's like, that's a best before date. I said, no, it's expiry. Yeah, but she's got a point. It's not going to go mouldy, is it? It hadn't even done that thing that some of the other batteries in their battery drawer had done that thing where one of the ends swells out

and it gets all that salty, crystal-y. I don't think I've kept a battery that long. Why do parents keep everything? Everything, man. Everything. I know, and then one day they'll just be like, we're getting rid of it all. Yeah. Including everything that's important. And they've got this bird whistle that you fill up with water. Yeah. And you

blow it. Have you seen that? I feel like they've shown you this whistle before. Oh, maybe. But I picked it up at the weekend. I was walking around tooting it. Mum's like, would you stop that? It's a little bit annoying. I was like, you're the one that owns it. So I picked up their train whistle that they bought when they did the rail trail. And I gave that a toot. And Mum was like, why are you?

And I'm like, well, these things are here. What are they, just decorative? This is purely to be blown into. She doesn't want you bloody being all annoying. Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot. You are a brat. I'll say you're a brat. Yeah, just being a little bit bratty at times.

You would have been a shithead of a kid. Yeah. We didn't have annoying things like that in the house growing up. They would have been banned. Never have left them. The 4th of July, 1994, this pack and save receipt looks like a bloody decent whack at a family shop, if you ask me.

And it came to the grand total of $86. Oh, beautiful. $86.61. I don't know how they paid, because it says here they gave them $5 change. Do you think supermarkets also just used to rent it down? I don't know. Round it down to the nearest five. But there's a whole lot of things

on here. However, I didn't see, you just said as we were going on air about the comment underneath the article. I think someone in Reddit under that had done a breakdown of what it would cost now. Of how much it would cost. I didn't see that. I just saw this one, this person went fully into it. Right. About inflation in

that quarter yeah right it would cost $186.37 in 2024 but that's purely on inflation using inflation rates from then to now

not going through and actually what those things cost in the supermarket I'm hoping someone's going to do that at some stage today yeah

if there's a journalist who needs easy pickers then it'd be easy wouldn't it it'd be easy picking jump it It'd be easy pickings Jump on a bloody On New World Journalists

Love a Reddit thread Or a TikTok video Yeah for a news story More than anything Radio stations don't do it For easy content though No Hell no

Oh my god As if We would never As if We're broadcasting professionals Who everyday source All of our own material Yeah we've got

We do it ourselves actually Don't we We phone around We phone around Hello if we're broadcasting professionals who everyday source all of our own material. Yeah, we've got, we do it ourselves actually, don't we? We phone around. We phone around. Hello. That's me every night. Hello, it's Vaughan Smith here from ZM Radio Network.

Hello, Vaughan Smith. I am just ringing for confirmation of this receipt information that you've posted online. Yes. Et cetera. Top six things

a 1994 supermarket receipt should have always had. These are the things that I can't see on thec. Top six things a 1994 supermarket receipt should have always had. These are the things that I can't see on the list. Number six, a family sized mince and cheese pie. Every week. Yeah. Always a family sized pie. How good. And so basic. Like no frills. No. Nothing to it. There was mince, there was a bit of cheese.

Always make sure I got a bigger quarter than my brother. Family of four was easy. You got a quarter quarter than my brother. Because sometimes mum might misalign. Family of four was easy. You got a quarter each. Yes. Family of five, someone had to work on the card. Segments can't be perfect.

Dad got the biggest piece. That's the rule. Well, he should. He's been working hard on the farm. Well, they were trying for that having a girl, weren't they? They wanted a girl and they got one. Why are you saying that? I'm saying if you were a girl, they would have stopped.

They would have stopped. No, I think the three was always on the cards. Really? Yeah. Catholic. Because they were both from families of three. Right. So that's how it must be done.

But now I'm showing them that a family with two children, just significantly easier. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. Just easier. Smaller car. Yeah. Easier to travel. Less rooms in the house because they don't have to share a room.

Yeah. The core four, I believe, is what you call it. Because you're both from core fours. I'm from core four. Yeah. The core four, I believe, is what you call it. Because you're both from core fours. I'm from core four. Yeah. Sounds weird. Sounds sci-fi.

Core four. The core four. The Sproul core four. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things that were always on a 1994 supermarket receipt.

A head of broccoli that must be boiled until it's grey. It came grey. That was the cooking instructions in the 90s that came with broccoli. Don't you dare eat this raw with a delicious dip or something. And don't you dare char-grill this with some garlic and some oil.

Yuck. We want it. Grey, please. And then that soup of nutrients that you've just cooked, pour that down the sink. Pour that down the sink. No one do anything with that. Number four on the list of the top six things

every 1994 supermarket receipt must have had, and I can't believe it's not on this one, a box of fish fingers. Oh, yum. You can still get fish fingers. The girls love fish fingers. And one day I was like, watch this, and I peeled off the skin of it

and I just held up the raw finger. Why does that? I still love those. I showed August how sizzler sausages were made, like pre-cooked sausages were made at the weekend, and it started out with her being like, watch this, and I peeled off the skin and I just held up the raw finger. Why's that? Still love those. I showed August how sizzler sausages were made, like pre-cooked sausages were made at the weekend, and it started out with her being like, oh, oh, brother, oh, ew. Brother, ew.

Brother, ew. But at the end of it, she was like, oh, yum, there they are, the other sausages we love. I was like, I'll go with that, backfired. Number three on the list of the top six things a 1994 supermarket receipt must have always had. But weirdly, we weren't on this one.

Yep. A tray of size eight, 100% caged eggs. Yeah. Always buy them in a tray. Always buy the biggest eggs possible. The biggest trays. It went without saying as well. Yeah.

Gotta be caged. What were those trays? Eight by eights? No. No, they're five by six by six? Eight by eights? No. They were only like... No, they're five by... Six by six? Six by six makes

them all seem tight. Yeah. Hmm. Because it's... No, that's good. I saw people lining up for the eggs at the Wellington markets

yesterday. God, that place is great. No. All the fruit and veg and stuff. Yeah, the egg line was massive. Where's this?

Where's this down on the waterfront? Frankerts? Yeah. No, no, not Frankerts. No. Right, next to Keppapa. Ah, a waterfront? Frank Kitts? Yeah. No, no, not Frank Kitts. No. Next to Kepapa.

Ah, a little further along from Frank. Yeah. I've got the room for Frank. No, no, this is a perfect place. Okay. I don't know. Well, what I know. It's been going for years. Shut up, Vaughn.

Stay out of it. Yeah. Skinny little Frank Kitts doing a market. Get out of here. Yeah, you're right, actually. Block all sorts of traffic there, skinny little Frank. No parking. No girthy enough, Frank. Number two on the market. Get out of here. You're right actually. Block all sorts of traffic there skinny little Frank. No parking. No girthy enough Frank.

Number two on the list of the top six things. Oh and the supermarket and the car park by Tipapa. Over the road. Yes. From the new world.

Yes. Opposite the QT. By the skate park. Yeah. Of course. Of course. Of course. Why was I imagining

the other side? I don't know. I feel like you both described it terribly. This is a you problem, not a me. Number two on the list of the top six things on a 1994 supermarket receipt that weirdly not on this one. Pack of roll-ups because it's somebody's birthday. We were never allowed roll-ups.

Neither were we. So real rich. But you went to a private school. No, it was a health thing. Oh, okay, right. My parents were just like, what's it made of? Sugar. Too much. And number were just like, what's it made of? Sugar. Too much.

And number one, speaking of sugar, the top six things on a 1994 supermarket receipt that I cannot believe is not on this receipt. A Raro triple sachet pack of sweet navel orange, tropical, and what was the third flavour? Was it lemon lime? No. Was it a lime?

No. Was it raspberry?? Nah. Was it a lime? No. Was it raspberry? Lemon barley? No. It was three orangey. It was sweet navel orange was the orange, and it was better than tropical. Tropical was second, and the other one was,

it was three orange. I've got it. Oh, no. Sweet navel orange. Strawberry passion. No. Pineapple. Pineapple orange.

Not back in the day. Tropical, tropical, tropical. Blackcurrant. Maybe it was pineapple. Pineapple orange. Well back in the day. Tropical, tropical, tropical. Blackcurrant? Maybe it was pineapple. Pineapple orange. Well, here's Bahama Breeze Trio. Was sweet navel orange, strawberry passion, pineapple orange? Nah, one was tropical, one was sweet navel orange.

And the one you were thinking of was lemon, there was another one that was lemon barley, raspberry and lemon lime. Mango orange. Mango, mango, mango orange. Mango orange. Sweet navel orange, tropical and mango. Mango orange. Mango, mango, mango orange. Mango orange. Sweet navel orange. Tropical and mango. Mango orange.

I don't think they were ever mixed up, the three. Do you think there's... Yes, right. Oh, no, if you're looking at the Island Groove trio, we've got sweet mango orange, sweet navel orange, and then the pineapple. Oh, yeah. There was all these mixes.

I googled Raro triple pack 90s. There's so many... Because, no, There was all these mixes. I googled Raro triple pack 90s. There's so many. Because, no, there was three different flavours because mum always had to buy two three packs because we always made two litres of juice at a time. Oh, okay, right. So if you bought one, you'd have to mix the flavours and she only did that once.

No. And really, we almost called sips. You're thinking of Sunshine Coast Orange Trio. Mango orange. Yes. Passion orange. Sweet navel orange. No.

One of them was tropical. It was always raspberry. One of them was always tropical. Oh, raspberry. And then mum switched to that. Colour free. Colour free. Sugar free.

Give you brain lesions. Thrifty. Whatever that. Nah, it was something else in the 90s. It was a liquid concentrate. Yeah, it was a liquid concentrate. Tasted awful. But yeah.

Yeah, it was cheap. I guess the kids were getting quite fat, so she needed to cut the sugar. Their teeth had fallen out. They were little fatties with no teeth. And then she's like, is it the juice? Is it the juice? Well, it's not the roll-ups,

because you know we don't do roll-ups in the Fletcher household. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. 14 minutes. Noodden Ailey. Play ZM. 14 minutes. No, I'm going to round up. 13 minutes away from 7. God, I just...

No, then we will honour what we do and we won't talk till it's actually correct. 13 minutes too. Gorgeous. Wow, the best... I just flipped the bird. I just pulled the bloody fingers at me. We've got your chance to win.

Human Shazam starts at 8 o'clock this morning. How many minutes away is 8 o'clock? Tiny minute, tiny snippet of a song. If you can guess that song, $400 cash. If we have to play a bit more of the song, $200. A bit more, $100. In 73 minutes time. In 73 minutes time, your chance to win cash.

Thereabouts. And you know what? I think we'll start easy. It's 73 minutes to Human Shazam. Yep. Which is the new way human Shazam. Yep. Which is the new way of telling the time. Yep. 18 regional councils submitted samples of their water to

partake in the Best Tasting New Zealand Water Competition. Do you have the list of it? Have they said who came last? No. I want to know that. I believe it carl fletcher's apartment that's not nearly as many water treatment centers as there are yeah right must know they're dealing with dead water yeah and you might be like what are you talking about

branch out travel new zealand and try the water out of the taps you definitely notice in like when i go home to new plymouth i'm I'm like, oh, it's earthy. It's quite... I always find Tauranga and the Mount to be a little bleachy, you know, that kind of... Most water's got chlorine in it, right? Yeah, like it's a little bit higher there. Which you have to have, otherwise

you have issues where like there are outbreaks in the water. It's got to be treated. And it has fluoride in it, a lot of the water as well, which is great for our teeth. Yeah. Well, Rotorua Lakes Council, Matamata Piako. That's where my parents are from.

I've got my parents drink water from a bore. Right. From an underground aquifer, so they don't get the council-treated water. So they're just taking it straight from our earth. Yeah, correct, correct, correct. Central Hawke's Bay and Kapiti Coast were the finalists. Yeah, nice.

And Rotorua took it out. Did they? Did they? From the Infra- And they even- From the Infra-Rotorua Lakes Council, Karamu Takina Spring. Wow. Is where that water comes from.

When you think about all the springs and all the geothermal activity, it must be great on the minerals. Beautiful nature, yeah. Yeah. Eggy air. Eggy air. Eggy air, perfect water. Beautiful water. I wonder if they would consider a taste tester in that place.

I always stop when you're going over the Kaimai Ranges between Matamata and Tauranga. The spring at the top of the Kaimais because that water's gone through the earth right to the top there. Always fill up a bottle on the way there. We call that magic water. Yeah. I always think of that as Petone in the hut.

They've got one of those, you know, you can go and fill up your water things. Oh, yeah, yeah, public. Beautiful. How do we know, though, that these councils, because what do you do to take a litre of water along? You submit it and it's a blind taste test. So the key categories are colour, clarity,

odour and taste. Okay. Yeah, some water does stink. Stinky water. What water stinks? Like a stinky... You can smell it. It smells a bit off.

Out of the tap. Yeah. I reckon yours has got a bit of an odour to it. No, I don't think it smells. I think it's just... Not a bad, but you can smell it.

There's nothing wrong with my tap water. Thank you. Did someone turn bad. Not a bad, but you can smell it. There's nothing wrong with my tap water. Thank you. Oh, did someone turn on the tap? Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, turn that tap off. It stinks in here. God, open a window if you're going to turn on the tap.

How do we know someone hasn't gone down to the supermarket and got, like, you know, a nice bottle of Aviano or Antipodes? I don't think those taste. They don't taste. They taste just like nothing. Neutral. That's a nothing taste, whereas you get a good taste. Don't you?

You're delicious water. Yeah, and you can taste the difference. Get a pump that just tastes like water. So then for the first time ever, it was trans-Tasman. We took our best water, the Infracora Rotorua Lakes Council's Karamu Takina Spring, and we went up against Tasmania's Taz Water Fern Tree Water Treatment Plant Water. Yeah.

They got good water. Did we win? Dead heat. The judges couldn't decide. It got to the end. It was even. Yeah. Like the Phoenix game at the weekend against Melbourne Victory.

He said to try to make it seem like he's a little bit more sporty than he is. It got to full time and it was a tie. Right. But then they did 30 minutes extra time. And then did we get heartbroken and lost? Oh, yeah. With the Phoenix, yes. With the water, no.

They just were happy to say it's a tie. Oh, well, there you go. It's got to be a winner. And where else was it going to be in Australia? Tasmania was always going to have the best water. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Tasmanian Wars.

Tasmanian Wars. It's got the best devils. Yep. It's got the best water. The best mania. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When it comes to mania. As far as manic states go, you won't beat Tass.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, hurts so much. your friend shows you a meme you've seen before. It was GQ magazine that investigated as to why they're saying I've already seen that meme hurt so much. It's quite a good piece. Matthew Roberson, without

a T. Roberson. Just saying that, you know, he says you send something, you want to brighten someone's day. And for them, so it's like a rejection of your share. You're like, this is going to make them feel good. It's going to make them smile and then they fire back with, seen it.

Or, I've seen this. I actually just sent Sade a meme this morning and she wrote back the best reply ever. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yes. All caps. Lots of ha ha ha ha ha ha. I love that.

I was like, yes. I love a ba ha ha ha ha ha. Ba ha ha. Yep. Sometimes Fletch, you'll only reply to Hayley's with like a laughing emoji on the actual meme. Whereas I like to say ha ha ha ha ha. Yep. Sometimes, Fletch, you'll only reply to Hayley's with like a laughing emoji on the actual meme. Whereas I like to say ha ha ha ha. Yeah, you do well.

I only do a ha ha ha if it's actually like really well and above an emoji response. Yeah. I'm just looking through the last ones we've seen. I was a bit busy at the weekend. I will say some of the ones you've seen. Hey, some of the ones you've seen through, some of the ones you see through were weird. I know. I've got, it's gone, my algorithm's gone like, what?

And some of them I was just like, I like it, but I don't have time to engage in it. My last one was Chloe Swilbrook. Real pretty. I will never say I've seen it to someone. No. I've already seen it. Or I'll say like, love it.

Yeah, I'll just go along with it. Sometimes if you're in a, not a mood with your partner, but if you're like, they think, they're so funny, seen it. And you know you're going to hurt them saying it. And I know when I say that to Sharni, it's going to hurt her. And she will say to me, I've seen that one. And she knows that that hurts back. But that's just life.

That's life. Well, we asked you, what do you say? Tell them you've already seen it or laugh and pretend it's new to you? 57% of people laugh and pretend it's new to you. 43% tell them you've already seen it. No, that's so many. That's so many. Brianne says, absolutely depends how close the friend is.

Bestie, sister or hubby, I say seen it. Otherwise, I laugh and pretend I haven't. But it's not a competition. You're not like, I laugh and pretend I haven't. But it's not a competition. You're not like, it doesn't matter if. It is. It is a little bit, right? With people that close. You reckon?

Even best friends, I won't say I've seen it. I have found the one. Ashley says, I'm a people pleaser. I'll always act like it's the first time I've seen it, even if it's the 10th. Yeah. Which is nice of you, actually. And I do this when people send me the British,

there's one at the moment of a British, a cat like mine getting brushed with some brush. Oh, they pop the brush out? I think you said it to me. I said, have you seen this? And before I even finished, you were like, the brush pops out, yes. Fair enough. It's like, the brush pops out. Yes. Fair enough.

It's like, I appreciate it every time, but the remote control John Deere tractor that someone's mowing their lawns with. Yeah. And it's like a little remote control tractor. Yeah. Yes, I would absolutely love one. But you've seen it a lot. But I have been seeing it a lot.

Every Jason Momoa meme, I have seen it. No one ever sends me a link to where to buy the tractor. I just get told there is one. Matt says, it cuts deep when you hit the seen it. I have to let them know gently with a cry laugh emoji and always a cry laugh emoji, never just a laugh emoji. See, Matt is a good person. Good person.

I do a classic female, oh my God, that's so true, says Lucy, because we all have small kids and it's often one of those motherly group ones that I'm in that they send. Jordan says, unless I've sent it to them then I scroll up and screenshot it and send it back saying, seen it, I've already sent this to you. That hurts.

If they send you the same meme back when you sent them, that kind of, you can call that out because they're not paying attention. Yeah. Yeah. When my boyfriend sends me reels and I've already seen it, I'll send him a voice memo saying, seen it.

Oh, that's great. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We were in Wellington for the weekend for my show. Fletch came down. That's why you're a little hoarse today. Yeah, I've busted the voice, but that's alright. We'll get it back. I would say this is more the Saturday celebrations than it is

the week of shows. However, we... You're a little bit carried away, didn't we? Well, someone went to bed at midnight and someone went to bed at 5.30am. Now, I won't say which one was Fletch and which one was Hayley. Someone woke up at 5. 30 or 5 o'clock and saw photos saying we're off to bed now and i was like i've just woken up anyway wild so we had

the night before we'd who was it like someone said like oh they were djing at a party and they'd had to sign an nda and they they couldn't say what party it was, what it was for or anything. And we were trying to figure out. Yeah, and there were all these other rumours going around that there was some celebrity party and we're just like, who is it? Who could it be?

And then we were Googling celebrities in New Zealand. We were like, is it Jennifer Coolidge? And they'd gone because they finished filming that, didn't they? Well gone, yeah. Yeah, and people were like, maybe it was Jason Momoa or Jack, didn't they? Well gone, yeah. Yeah. And people were like, maybe it was Jason Momoa or Jack Black, but they've all gone. I keep tabs on him.

He's in Montana. You know where he is at every waking moment of the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then when one of us, we won't say who it was, decided to leave the party at midnight. It was me. I decided to leave the party at midnight. It was me. I decided to leave the party at midnight. I was falling asleep.

As established. He literally was like sitting on the hotel room floor, like eyes falling asleep, trying to engage in conversation. And I was like, guys, you know what? He seconds away. I think I'm ready to go home now. Yeah. To the other side of the hotel.

So he left my hotel room. And apologies to those on level one of QT. Yeah. Good morning to you. Yep. Whatever. And then as soon as, well, maybe like a couple of minutes later, I see on my phone that Fletch is ringing me.

And I was like, he's forgotten something. Or my boy's lost. He's lost in the maze of hotel rooms. So I went down to the lobby And I was walking through the lobby And then I was like These people were in the lobby around this table Sitting down I can't remember

I was a bit hazy Big night And I looked at this woman And I was like She looks like the lady of Ozark And then she looked at me Looking at her and I was like, don't look, look away. And then I like looked back.

I was like, is it her? Is she in the country? Not Laura Linney. No, no, no. Julia Garner. Ruth. Ruth from Ozark. Curly haired, redneck.

That's not her accent in real life, eh? No, no, it's not. Because in real life, eh? I don't. No, no, it's not. Because she was also amazing in Inventing Anna. She's on the George Clooney. Is she on the Espresso Act as well? Yeah, the Espresso Act of George Clooney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, it looks like her.

And then I was like, Hayley, I think I know who it is. Yeah, and then we did some Googling and she is in New Zealand. Yeah, she's been filming a movie. Yeah. In Wellington. So when she, because she's just like sitting in New Zealand. Yeah, she's been filming a movie. Yeah. In Wellington. So when she, because she's just like sitting in the lobby. But I don't know.

She had the blonde curly hair going on. I was like, is it her? And then she saw me looking, so I stopped looking because I didn't want to be looking. Yeah. But what did she look at you? But I don't know,

she was just kind of looking. What was she waiting for, like an Uber Eats? I don't know. I can't remember. It was just such for, like an Uber Eats? I don't know if they, I can't remember. It was just such a Oh, these Hollywood types don't even go

out till midnight. Yeah, right. You know, that'd probably be, she was just about heading out, waiting for a ride or something. I reckon.

That's why I rang Haley, I was like, I didn't just a whole bunch of randoms. I didn't recognise anyone. Yeah. Oh, so I thought

for some reason in my head she was on her own But no she was with A group of people Yeah Bunch of randoms Imagine they're like A-list celebrities

Like a bunch of randos Or maybe people from the I don't know I mean yeah Like I say my memory Was a little bit hazy It could have just been A chick with curly hair

Blonde curly hair And not It could not have been her Like I was maybe drunk And maybe it wasn't her It was just It was a small boy with the most gorgeous angel. Oh, my God, ringlets. Ringlets.

Everyone's always saying to his parents, Anna's ringlets. Oh, don't cut the ringlets. And he's, today he wants to go in and get a mullet. Well, I hope she's enjoyed her time in New Zealand. Yeah. Shooting in Wellington. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, apparently non-traditional relationship structures,

shall we say, are on the rise, not only globally, but specifically in New Zealand. A small internal burp occurred in the middle of that sentence, I will say. I am having a McCafe hot choccy, and I gulped it before then. So things like open relationships, not only like just fun physical things on the side, but like full polyamory, non-monogamy. How do they know it's on the rise?

Situationships, throuples, ethical non-monogamy. Was this people in the latest census taking more than one wife or more than one girlfriend? Was that even an option? I don't remember that part of the census. That's the kind of juicy things I want the census to ask. Yeah, but then people are filling it,

they'll just lie because you fill it in with whoever you live with. What did you put for that one? What did you put for that one? Oh yeah, true. So here's some different relationship structures that are on the rise in New Zealand.

It's called ethical non-monogamy, which is basically being open about it to your primary partner. Not cheating. Open relationship. You and your partner can have sexual but not romantic relationships with other people. Swinging.

A couple who have sex or dates with other people as a pair. Hierarchical polyamory. When you and your partner can have relationships, emotional or sexual, with other people but have agreed to remain each other's primary partner. So you could have another girlfriend or boyfriend or just be having physical fun. But your relationship prime. Your numero uno. But then what if they fall in love with the other person?

I know, the heart. You can't stop the heart. Yeah. Non-hierarchical. This scenario, no primary partners. We're all just equal. Okay. And then solo, poly or situationships, a single person pursuing multiple intimate or sexual relationships.

So apparently, yeah, I mean, like lots of surveys have just put it all together being like New Zealand is really, we're getting into it. I definitely have lots of friends, but I would say predominantly homosexual, predominantly male homosexual friends that have open relationships. And that's been the way for like ages. For ages. Yeah. But been the way for like ages. For ages. Yeah. But I definitely, I don't,

I would say I have more friends now that are exploring their sexuality, like, you know, sleeping with women or men for the first time. While they're in a relationship. No, no, no, no. Just like they've been with men and now for the first time ever they're with women or something like that.

Then I don't know, I don't think I currently have any friends who are in like polyamorous relationships. I know people. It always just surprises me what people are up to. It's a lot of effort, isn't it, just to have one? Yeah. I'm very happy with just the one. With just one.

Just the one and, you know, following hot people on Instagram. That's ticked. Done. I don't think that's a category that's been listed. I'm happy. That's not on the list. I'm a happy boy. Right. I'm a happy boy! It blows my mind, like,

the second season of Sex.Life, like, what people are into and what people are getting up to and it's just like, where do they find the energy? Where do they find the time? Where do they find the time? Like wild and so many people, numerous people.

Yeah, I know. In all walks of life. It's a wild world out there. Get amongst it. Come on, get on board. Old Vanilla Vaughan. Old Vanilla Vaughan. Come on, Vanilla Vaughan.

Get amongst it. The worst part would be having to deal with people. That's what puts me off. That's why you head to clubs. You don't have to check. No, that's full of people. No, but you can just, you know, get what you need there and then pop away. Look, it's not for you.

And you know that. No, it's not for me. It's not for me. It's not for everyone. But it's for more people now than ever before in New Zealand. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. We're in Wellington for the weekend and flew home yesterday hot in the

quarter lounge, that's my complaint of the day Oh must have been Tell you what, hot I tell you what, there's a certain there's a certain class of complaint and that's gotta be out I hope they heard me yelling out Tell you what, there's a certain class of complaint, and that's got to be out there. Yeah, wow.

You maybe listen back to that. I hope they heard me yelling out, temp check, which is what I yell when I walk into this studio every morning. You were just complaining about the temperature in here. It's not even hot. Are you sure you're not? I'm going to wet up a lip. Okay, right, yeah.

I'm hot. Maybe this is a you problem. It was hot in there. Anyway, we got on the flight. It was quite a packed flight. It was weird in there. Anyway, we got on the flight. It was quite a packed flight. It was weird because we were sitting in the same row, but with someone in between us. And he was like, saw that we came on together and was like,

oh, if you guys can sit together, he's in the middle seat. We were like, nah. No, we're like, we don't want your middle seat. Nah. And then we told him as a joke, we're like, no, we don't even like each other. And he felt a bit awkward. And I was like, oh God, just put our headphones in.

Anyway, then you must have noticed an odd passenger. Well, this guy gets on and he asks for a seatbelt extender. But he's a slim Jim. It was a tiny man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's carrying next to him a gigantic musical instrument in a hard case. As carry on. As carry on. As carry on.

Like this thing would be as tall as like me nearly as a human. Yeah, it was really big. And he was getting a seatbelt extended because he was, he had got its own seat for this musical instrument. Yeah. And I'm imagining a cello. Like it looked. I don't think it was quite double bass.

It was definitely a cello, which like we were talking about it. Like you can get cellos at like a million dollars. So he sat on the seat. No, but this would be like thousands. Yes, because I looked back. He was like halfway down the plane

and he... The ass of the instrument case, which is a moment where he's like a large guitar case. Yeah. Is sat on the seat with a seatbelt. With the neck up.

Did the neck hit the thing at the top? No, but it was the tallest thing on the plane. Yeah. Like it was up there and he'd had it. I don't like it. It was belted in. It was belted in. Yeah.

But he would have paid for the ticket. Yeah, so he got its own seat. Was somebody sat on the other side of the cello? No, the cello was window. Cello was in his sleep And he got a window seat And he was in the middle seat So he must have had to book two seats He would have had to

And then you were like What would you put on the ticket? Yeah, like you put Mr. Robert Cello Yeah, because you can't But then he goes to check it in And then they're like Well, where's your ID, Mr. Cello? Yeah, because you can't have... But then he goes to check it in. And then they're like, well, where's your ID, Mr. Cello? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he's like, well, I don't have any. I'm a cello. Well, I guess it's like a kid. They don't have ID. You just check them in as you're a minor. Would you buy a kid's ticket? Because the cello might be under 10. There's no difference anymore.

Isn't there? Oh, okay, right. Sadly. Well, that's good. Well, they're right. Sadly. Well, that's good. Well, they're taking a much better pace. I think if they sit on your lap, it's less. Right, okay. Like a bear bear.

Like a bear bear. Yeah, like a bear bear. When we travel for work, we should sit on each other's laps and save money. I'm just trying to save the company money. No, I don't want to. It's a cost of living crisis. Yeah, no, don't give work ideas. That's kind of something they might do. You know, they love the accountants, love saving money. It's a cost of living crisis. Don't give work ideas. That's kind of something they might

do. You know they love the accountants, love saving money. Now we are going to get Vaughan to sit on Fletcher's lap for the duration of this flight. We could just go in a long trench coat and travel as one person. Tall. You'd get exit row. You'd definitely get exit row. I think we'll show up

in security. I think that plan is very flawed. Our friend Big Hearted James was on the flight. He used to be a flight attendant. And I said, do you ever have this? I was like, do you see this instrument? He's like, yeah. All the time.

He said once coming back from a long haul flight from LA or wherever, there was an entire orchestra. It was a flight. And heaps of them had their really expensive instruments so they don't want to check in and damage. And he said there was just heaps of... And then he said it was great because he's extra meals. Oh, yeah? Does Mr. Cello get a meal?

The seats have assigned meals. Yeah, I would eat... Oh, man, yeah. I would eat the Cello's meals. I would certainly love whatever rubbery shit they're serving on that flight. Times two, please. More, more, more.

Oh, yeah. More. More. Double the rubber chicken. Piping more, more. Oh, yum. More piping hot dry chicken. With a side of waterlogged beans. Oh, it's breakfast, man. I'd love some rubber fart eggs and a super hot yuck sausage.

Oh, that food, I absolutely gas you up. Are you not going to eat yours, Bass Drum? Might I please have some more of that absolutely disgusting cake that I'm getting for dessert for breakfast or something? Hey, look, it's a long flight. You get hungry, you just eat it.

You eat what you give her. And if you booked a ticket for you. I always eat before I get on the plane. I was like, and now I won't need to eat when I'm on the plane. They put it in front of me. I'm like, oh, man. But we should just eat New Zealand's bloody lemony popcorn that they've introduced.

I haven't tried the lemony popcorn. Oh, there's a moon in the lemony popcorn. Oh, you like the lemony popcorn. It's shocking at first. It's really like, what is happening here? A zesty lemony popcorn. Well, if you book your keyboard and for your next flight you can have two lemony popcorns.

Oh, I know. Great plan. A couple of lemony popcorns. I know. Great plan. Couple of lemony popcorns. A woman has gone viral for sharing what she considers cheating. Now I wouldn't consider this particular example she's used

as cheating. I don't think many people would. It's giving crazy. It's giving, yeah, a lot of crazy. Play. ZM's Flet yeah, a lot of crazy. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. A girl's gone viral. She's, poor thing. What's she got?

Well, I mean, she is. Chicken pox or something. She is wearing it because she has shared what she considers cheating. And one of those things that she considers cheating is no tandem skydiving with a member of the opposite sex. Is her partner a skydiver? No. Oh.

No. No. Okay. So he's not a skydiver. But if he was to go skydiving, he must go with another man. A man. Now that is absurd. It's getting crazy, right?

Also, do your anatomy, Han. If there's a woman on his back, nothing's going anywhere. Yeah, right. I see what you're saying. And also, you're telling me. His doodles facing. Mound to butt. His doodles facing towards the earth.

Yeah. I'd be more worried about him cheating take me towards the earth. I'd be more worried about him cheating on you with the earth. Yeah. And also like anyone that's been skydiving knows

it's the last thing you're doing is getting horny. You're hurling yourself out of a plane. Afterwards the adrenaline's pumping. You'll turn around

and you'll be like the testosterone's just like I just survived. That was insane. But it made me think, like, could we take some calls? Has anyone been in this situation? Like, maybe in a current relationship,

or it's probably going to be a past relationship. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was an argument over what was considered cheating. Because, you know, there are some people don't even like adult, like looking at adult videos. They're like, that is cheating. I know. Whereas I don't think that's cheating.

Oh, my God. It's healthy. I always cover the face so I can't look at the star of the videos in the eyes. Because you're picturing Sade. Of course. Always. Yeah, right. Do you know there's probably going to be some kind of AI technology going forward

that will just put your wife's image onto. Yeah, I'm sort of there for a break. Do you know what I mean? Laugh, laugh. With laugh. I'm actually... I'm just here for something. I'm trying to get out of this. I'm sort of here for something different.

And also, I don't know if the colour of the face would match the colour of... Yeah, right. I just put it out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. Have you ever had this? Like a situation where something...

I've never been with a jealous person who has gone like, well, I don't want you talking or like, you can't do that. No, I haven't. Because that's the thing. Like people that are... And I mean, it's getting down the whole avenue of very controlling people. Yeah, for sure. Like, oh, you know, don't have other friends at work that are of the opposite sex.

You can't go out for work drinks with that guy. Yeah. Because that's cheating. You're like, no. Yeah, you can't have a clothes optional spa with a... Oh, I know. Yeah. Oh, all these rules.

Stop making out with your male mates. Yeah. Stop having naked work spas. Yeah. On these work trips. Oh, my God. It's only rules, man. Oh, my God.

What is cheating? Okay, well, let's see if we can take some calls. 0800 DARS at M. You can text through 9696. Have you been in an experience like this? What was considered cheating? Was there an argument over it? Yeah.

And you were like, this is not cheating. And they're like, yes, it is. Yes, it is. You shared a bag of chips. How could you do that to me? 0800-DARLES-IT-EMMENS, and you can text her as well, 9696. What was considered cheating?

We want to know what was considered cheating, perhaps in a past relationship, because there is a woman who said that if her partner was to go tandem skydiving it better be with someone of the same gender no woman strapped on the back well jokes on her if he turns out by I was gonna say yeah or he's secretly into dudes and she doesn't know a hell of a way to find out at 12,000 feet that you kind of like it yeah oh yeah. It's back there wriggling around. What is that? Kerry, this happened in a past relationship?

It was definitely a past relationship. Okay, and what was considered cheating that you didn't think was cheating? So I went on holiday with an ex-boyfriend to Tunisia. And we decided to do a camel excursion, which I was really excited about. And anyway, on part of the excursion, the guys had to hop up on the back of the camel because there was this tricky uphill moment on one of the sand dunes to help guide the camels upwards.

Yeah. And yeah, my ex-boyfriend got really grumpy about it and didn't talk to me for about two hours afterwards. Wait, because you were on a camel, and the tour guide, I'm assuming, was hot that you were next to or behind. I mean, look, you know, not that I noticed, but he was pretty hot. But, you know, look at what happened. My foot was still on the ground.

I'm glad you said that. I wasn't the only one. Like, all the guides had to jump on the camel to help the camel get up this part of the hill. So, you know, it was out of my hands. But, yeah, so he got really grumpy for about two hours and wouldn't speak to me. Ridiculous.

Jesus. Because you were on a hump. Yeah. With a humpable... A humpable tour guide. See that? Kerry, thank you. I think I was going to be jealous of the camel

at the start of that story. You might think that's ridiculous, but somebody said I think I was going to be jealous of the camel at the start of that story. Yeah. And you might think that's ridiculous, but somebody said this happened to not me, but a friend who was not allowed to let male dogs kiss her. Oh, get out. Her partner was against. Different species was not an excuse. What?

That's psychopathic. Psycho. Okay, that is mentally unwell. That's leaving the material. I'm glad that, again, that is an X situation. Heather, what was considered cheating? Heather. Oh, hi, Heather.

Hannah. Oh, Hannah. This is a Hannah, not a Heather. Sorry about that. Sorry, Heather, Hannah. Both were names of sheep that we've had at my place, so I consider confusion. Confusion.

What's the story? What was considered cheating? Hannah. I'm a high school teacher, and I was really, really cold, could not get warm, and my male colleague was like, here, just borrow my jumper. And I went into my classroom wearing it, and my students felt very strongly about me wearing another man's jumper.

Your students did? Yeah, just boys especially being like, are you married? And I was like, yeah, I am. And they were like, but that, you know, Mr. Such and Such's jumper, if I was your husband and I was like, oh my God. You were giving them ammo. They're judging you.

What do they know about relationships? I was like, one, we're a team. We're 15. I know we have some strong emotions, but I can tell you, I was like, my husband won't care. And they were like, have you asked him? And I was like, I don't think I need to. I'm a grown woman.

I'm feeling cold and I want to borrow a jumper from a friend I will do yeah exactly yeah strong feeling and how did your husband feel when you got home and told him the story sounded genuinely hilarious

yeah he goes like he's like respect for them for like having my back given they don't know him yeah totally like looking out for him

Hannah thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dials it in. Some of these are rogue. Yeah. What was considered cheating that you didn't think was? We want to know what was considered cheating. Skydiving with a member of the opposite sex

was the example that we saw online, which is ridiculous. Okay, let's hit some of these text messages. Okay. Hit that. I think up there. My toxic ex said any form of adult fun toy assistance was cheating. And I wasn't allowed to do that.

And I think you had it on the head there when you said toxic. Yeah. Yeah. God, he should see my bedside table. My girlfriend at the time was jealous. It's a beautiful oak. That's all. I just want to say it's a really beautiful oak table.

With a big drawer. Huge, deep drawer. And cupboard. Drawer and cupboard. And cupboard. And cupboard. And suitcase of secondhandies. Yeah.

You know when you get so many toys as a kid, your parents would take some of them away and then swap them out later. Yeah. So they'd be like, oh my gosh, it feels like new toys, even though they're not. I just haven't played with them for a while. Sometimes you just open up the drawer and just give it a spritz of spray and wipe and walk away. Oh, always spray.

The drawer is sponsored by Febreze. Yeah, yeah. Wild Secrets X Febreze. My girlfriend at the time was jealous that at a family catch-up I was having a spa with my female cousin who's the same age as myself, making me out to be some sort of sick freak.

What? Incestuous. Okay, their privacy is more about their online watching than their sex life. Yeah, true. When I was at high school, my boyfriend dumped me because I asked to be on his best friend's team

for beer pong because his best friend was like the best beer pong player. Yeah, but also obviously quite hot. Yeah. My ex got shitty with me because she dreamt I cheated on her. Oh, yes.

Everyone's been there, haven't they? Yeah. Someone's giving us their thoughts on cheating. My ex forced me to switch gyms after she walked in once

and saw me having a conversation with the gym manager. And in my partner's eyes, the manager was flirting with me. That was not the vibe at all. That's not good. Oh, this gay girl, this was a lesbian. Oh, okay.

And the gym member is straight and married to a man and they have children. So what you're saying is lesbian challenge. Lesbian challenge. Challenge issued. Oh, yeah. You're married to a man with. Lesbian challenge. Challenge issued. Oh, yeah. You're married to a man with children, are you? Challenge accepted. My ex-partner thought finding girls on TV shows or movies attractive was cheating.

She'd say stuff like, oh, my God, look at you. You want her. Am I not good enough? Oh, no. They're on TV for a reason. Yeah, they're on TV because they're quite hot. Yeah. You're not going to win that argument, are you?

Yeah. I had a sleepover with one of my best friends who was also female and my boyfriend said that was cheating. No! We always have little sleepovers. Yeah, definitely straight. Friends for over five years and he said she was into you. That's why you shouldn't

have sleepovers with her. He wishes. That's his fantasy. My wife was mad at me for nearly three days. Give me the silent treatment. It was enjoyable, but then I thought I'd better find out what's wrong. Sometimes the silent treatment is a neat little holiday. Love a break. Better find out what I had done.

She informed me that I'd slapped her friend's ass in her dream. Oh my God. A little slap on the butt. I slap Vaughn's butt all the time. IRL. Sade doesn't say a word about it. It's because I'm too scared to tell. I'll tell her.

Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. Shannon is our little baby bird. Little baby bird is flying the nest. She's moved into a new apartment. She's adulting. How you going? Good.

You have a question for us, though. Yeah, so I'm feeling a little bit lonely. My partner's not there constantly. I know, we saw him at the airport. Yeah, that was a bit cute. We did jet today. Jetting out. Yeah, well, he's back tonight, but when he's not here,

I was kind of wondering if I could have a companion. Oh, my God. Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat. No, definitely not allowed a cat. Did you literally just hear Britain in the news saying that SPCA is like snowed under with, like, because of the cost of living crisis, people can't afford their pets?

Yeah. Well, I'm explicitly not allowed a pet in this apartment. Very clearly in my contract, there's a big billboard. So you're thinking companionship, get an old person and hug them. Is that what you mean? Well, here's my question.

Is a fish a pet? Because I don't eat fish. Are you eating it? No. What? A tarakehi fillet is not a pet. No. That's clear.

I want a goldfish and I feel like that's not a pet. Yeah, because they don't touch the apartment. Yeah. Yeah, but I'll tell you what does touch the apartment. It's suspended in water. When it falls over, when you knock the bowl over

and there's water all over the carpet. I'd get a tank first off because I care. Yeah. And then if I had a house inspection, I'd just bring it in a jar to work. Oh, my God. But then how are you going to explain the tank that's left behind? I'll just put a blanket over it. Okay.

I've had fish before. It's yuck. No, they're the best. I had two. That's the worst. They sting. I had two. And cleaning the tank.

Oh, my God. I hated it. I had garlic and ciabatta. And then I got little guppies called crumbs. And I the tank. Oh, my God, I hated it. I had garlic and ciabatta, and then I got little guppies called crumbs, and I had these fishies. And they lived for three years, and we used to bring them to school, as in, like, radio school.

We would bring them in a jar to school and be like, here's your day out. They were the best pet I ever had. Oh, my God. So now I want fishies, but am I going to get evicted? I don't know. I would say cat and dog is a pet.

Is there a loophole where you can just say it's food? Like you're eating them? Like, you know what I mean? I'm raising them to eat so you can't take away my right to eat goldfish. I don't think that's going to fly. Then they'll be like, now I've got some weirdo eating goldfish in my apartment.

I don't want them living there either because that's surely only the scratching the surface of the problems. Well, look, Vaughn, you for many years had a cat and a dog the landlord didn't know about. Correct. And every time there was an inspection,

you had to put the dog in the car and take it for a drive. And then pretend you didn't know that cat that kept meowing at you. Yeah, we did that. We would like, our flat had an old cat flap in it, but we weren't allowed a pet.

And then we just locked the cat flap and Rory would be like, meow. He'd be like, oh my God, this is a pesky bloody neighbourhood cat. And then the landlord's like, I'll take it to the SPCA while I'm here.

No, he'd just pull down the gun. Oh my goodness. Oh, thank you. Thank you for getting rid of that pesky cat. I think I'd shoot my fish. He won't shoot your fish. I reckon you can get a goldfish. But do you want one?

Coward shaking your head no. I want one so bad. No, but they'll be worried that you're going to spill the water or you're going to trip the fuses or something. I won't, I promise. It's the greatest tenant. I won't, I promise. I won't, I promise.

Also, you're seeking companionship because your partner travels so much. Shit company. Yeah. No, no. My old ones, you used to put a candle at the tank and they'd swim to it. And I was like, they know. They know? What do they know?

What do they know? I'm there. We'll gather around the campfire. Shannon's about to tell us another story. They just knew I was there. Well, gather around the campfire. Shannon's about to tell us another story. They just knew I was there. Either that or there was just this insanely sun bright light that they were trying to escape. No.

Oh, they got it. And they lived so long because I cared for them. And I used to take them on play dates to other tanks. My friends had fish and we'd take the jar and then hang out for a few hours. That is so weird. Imagine coming home and there's just this whole family that someone's put in a plastic bag in your lounge.

Yeah. And you're just like, how did you get in here? Then there's a big booming voice that's like, we thought you might want to hang out. And you're like, um, this is the best. I was sort of good with like, who's here? Yeah. No.

What if I asked my landlord? What about a bunny rabbit? What about a bunny rabbit? Yeah. No. What if I ask my landlord? Her name's Shannon as well. What about a bunny rabbit? No. I saw my friend has a bunny rabbit and I was like, perhaps I need a bunny rabbit. Worse than fish. I have a balcony. I could live on the balcony.

No. No. It's winter. It'll hop over. It'll hop right on over. I kind of agree with Hayley. It's not really a companion piece. Just invite your friends over.

Yeah. I want to hold a candle to something and walk towards it. Well, we've got a candle in the studio. You should meet mosquitoes. And Hayley's other favourite N-word. I knew we were going to say it. They love it. They do.

They love a flame. Now, look, there is a study about what makes the perfect friend like a really good, decent friend. Okay. Now, this may shock you because I was like money, Central City Apartments. Yep. Full drinks trolley.

Yep. Clean licence. Guys, do you only like me for my drinks trolley? Yep. Yeah. Yep, uh, yas. Yep. Wow. So, listen, it's the key traits.

Loyalty, reliability, trustworthiness and honesty. All deemed essential to being a good friend. That goes without saying. Goes without saying. Now, do you know, someone said to me yesterday, they were like, oh, so what were you doing in Wellington? I said, I was doing my show. And they were like, do you know, someone said to me yesterday, they were like, oh, so what were you doing in Wellington? I said, I was doing my show.

And they were like, what the hell was Fletch doing there? I was like, he was just down there to see my show. Right. Your friends came down from Auckland to see a show that's on in Auckland this week.

Yeah, that's why we all came down. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, we're just there to support and have a nice time with me. A little bit of a disposable income. Or disposable pachingas, not a nice time with me. Or disposable pachinkas, not a single child amongst us. Some would just wait until it's

a lot closer to home. And I was like, yes. They came down to support and they said, that is so nice. And I was like, do you know what else was really nice? This is, it changed my night. After my last show on Saturday night, the show after me, they're in in like 20 minutes,

they were on stage because I was over time. My script still needs a bit of editing. So I was over, my show went up late. So we had to like go, go, go, including like packing up the keyboard, packing up the cork, packing up the this, and all out, like in 10 minutes. Fletch turns up with our other friend Zane

and they carry all my stuff. Now, I know that you guys wanted to feel like you were in a part of a cool band. Yeah, we did feel like we were in a cool band. You were wheeling the heavy piano down Courtney Place all the way back to the hotel and Zane had the cork on his back and feeling like a cool dude.

And I thought that was a mark of a good friend because I didn't want to have to carry two heavy bags and a big piano on my own. It was quite heavy. It was real heavy. It's like a kilometre back to the hotel. And I was like, well, I can't carry this because I've got to do

all this packing out and see people. I was literally like, I'd say 90 seconds after them with just my handbag. It was perfect. So what you like me for my drinks trolley and the fact I carry all your stuff. You're a workhorse. What am I getting out of this friendship?

Also, because you're the next level you can bring two friends into Kauru so that's pretty cool. Okay, so you're using me. Again, that's using, that's using though. Oh, I'm just trying to think of the traits. Is there something there that's like... Deeper.

Yeah. Good sheets. Good sheets when I stay in your bed. Yeah, but again, that's you're staying in the city because you don't have to Uber home. So again, that feels a lot like you're using. You're using. Vaughan's got a spa.

You do have a great spa. He's got a great spa. Not for you guys. Not for a spa. You do have a great spa. He's got a great spa. Not for you guys. Not for you guys. He's got a great spa. We're not invited because I got too drunk at it last time. We normally just want to go around when you're not there. Yeah.

Oh, that's okay. Just no eating or drinking in the pool. No peeing on the fence. Oh, how do you pee on the fence? Or was I going to go inside, put water all through your hole? Oh, just pee on the fence. Yeah, okay. No peeing on the fence. Oh, how do you pee on the fence? Or was I going to go inside, put water all through your hole? Oh, just pee on the fence. Yeah, yeah. That's a good friend.

I mean, that's a good friend. Fertilise in the garden. I'll fertilise your garden. That makes me a good friend. You've got a spa pool. That makes you a good friend. And you carry my shit and you've got a stocked drink cart. None of this loyalty, trustworthiness.

Boring. Boring stuff. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Well, this week's Fact of the Day theme is really going to get the speleologists going. Speleologists? Is that a cave-ologist? It's a person that explores caves and specialises in cave-housing.

Speleologists. I'm not a fan of those caves where... I did one on a school camp in Lake Waitomo, and you had to squeeze through. That's a big no. That's a no from me. And I was a fat kid and it was squishy and then you're in these caves and then you're like

it's too claustrophobic. Any place where you can get wedged. And you're underground? No thanks. Hello? We're not meant to be down there. We're not meant to be down there. Get out of it. I don't mind a big cave like underground. You know,

you see that I've been to some caves overseas and you go down some stairs. There's a pool in there. And there's pools and the light comes down. We'll be exploring various types of caves through the week. Okay. And there are some, but I would like to firstly

pop today to the Cave of Crystals. Okay. It is connected to a mine in Mexico, 300 metres below the surface. It was discovered by a mining company who were looking to put a new cave. They were exploring for various goods and elements and ores and such in the area, and they had a bit of a breakthrough, and they're like, what's down here?

And they went for a look, and it's the Cave of Crystals. Large gypsum crystals. I'd actually need some gypsum because you put gypsum on your garden, it breaks up the clay. Isn't that what's in, that's jibboard, right? Jibboard, yeah. Or gypsum is a main ingredient in jibboard. Plaster of Paris is

gypsum plaster effectively. Oh, this is beautiful, boy. Well, isn't it amazing? So, these gypsum crystals are massive. The longest one over 11 metres in one single crystal. Now, you'll remember as children you'd mix

up a solution and put a string with a popsicle stick and then you'd put it in the hot water cupboard and as it dehydrated, the crystals would grow up the string. Yes. Wow. That's effectively what this cave did.

It was once upon a time filled with a very rich mixture of gypsum salts. God, it's so beautiful. And as the water receded, it slowly did it, and it left behind these giant, giant crystals. They're like tower, like pillars. Yeah. Now, can we just get a quick check, because producer Jared has brought up that they prefer to be called travellers. I don't know if we're allowed to say gypsum anymore.

Oh, gypsums. No, no, no, gypsums, they're completely different. You've got different things there. You're not allowed in the cave of crystals. And here's why. You're not allowed in. Wait, did you say this is in Mexico? Yes. Because the one I'm looking at here in Spain is...

That's another cave of crystals, but that looks more like Superman's Fortress of Solitude. Yeah. Those look like ice. These are like long, shard, crystal, like jagged, pointy out. So cool. And I looked and I said, are these technically stalagmites or stalactites? They are not because they didn't form from like dripping.

Right. They just like slowly dried out and just. You can't go in there. It's very, very deadly. You've got to be wearing special suit because just below it, it can get up to like 54 degrees in there because there's a volcanic... Oh, yeah, like a vent or something. A vent underneath which can warm up the crystal cave

as well as being at 98% humidity. It's a very, very dangerous place. You have to be like an expert to get in there and it requires a whole lot of special gear. Okay. But you can give that a Google because it is quite unusual. You see the pictures and you're like, wow. It just looks like out of this world.

It looks like it's under a microscope. Yeah. You're like, that's amazing. And like out of this world. It looks like it's under a microscope. Yeah. You're like, that's amazing. And then you see a scale with a human standing in there and you're like, oh, it's insane. It looks like the set of a sci-fi movie, eh? Correct. Like they've had to go under the ground to get the energy source.

Yes. Or the magic pendant. All the proportions just feel off in my brain. Yeah. You're like, they're too big. Crazy. That's why it is beautiful but deadly. So today's fact of the day is in Mexico, 300 metres under the surface, there's a cave full of giant, giant crystals.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Someone just messaged in They're actually on their way to Waitomo Caves Oh yeah, right For their birthday today Oh, happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you No, but they don't have to fit through the No, the big caves are easy to walk through

There's glowworms Yeah, the glowworm caves are roomy. There's the Blackwater rafts. I love those. I've never been. Haven't you? I've never been. We went we did a tourism Waikato trip with the girls years ago. Like August was three. She's going to be ten soon so that's going back some years.

And they said when you go to Waitama, would you like to rather do the glowworms or the troll cave? I was like, wow, what's a troll cave? years and they said when you go to Waitama would you like to rather do the glow worms or the troll cave I was like wow what's a troll cave and they said it's relatively new and the kids will love it and I was like okay we got there and I have never in my

life seen my children so terrified it was fun but basically you've got to steal like it wasn't even a cave it was buried shipping containers made to look like a cave. And you have to go around and find this troll and, like, steal the key off. I'm not talking like a cute little troll that sings the songs, the cover songs with Justin Timberlake.

I'm talking a big, huge, terrifying, like, old school troll. My children were so, so scared. So it's enjoyable, but don't rush into it if the children are, like, three and five. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Now, Georgia's in studio. She's lost her shoe.

It's at the basketball hoop. It's stuck up there. It's not Pink Friday, so I decided to bully her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pulled her shoe off because she wouldn't listen to my fun story about caves. After a fact of the day, I was like, Georgia, I got some more cave stories. She doesn't want to hear your cave stories. And I finished the story and she's like, sorry, I wasn't listening.

That was boring. And I said, that's going to cost you a shoe. So I pulled off her shoe and I put it in a high spot. She can't get to it. She can't get it. She can't get it. She's in here with one sock. Ankle, by the way.

Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Crap. Anyway, we want to talk about the dumbest thing that your partner has done in the last month. I'm going to cap it at a month. Okay. Now, a few people have been jumping online and sharing this. One of them that I thought was very funny was a woman asked her boyfriend to cook her some pasta.

He got a tray, put the pasta on it, and popped it in the oven. Now, what he's made there is pasta chips. That's not how you cook pasta. Oh my god. I know. How have you got this far in life? Yes. Not knowing that you need to boil pasta.

Pasta. Were they thinking though that it was like, you know how you have a pasta bake? Like it's always a bit of a crispy. You bake the pasta. You cook the pasta first, dum-dum. We all know that. We did this maybe a few weeks back. It was that guy who unloaded the groceries by putting the bags in the fridge.

Everybody that has children, this should constantly be your fear, is that one day your child will be one of these examples. That's how I think. I want you guys to know how to stack a dishwasher because I'm not going to get it from their mother. And I want you to know how to cook basic things to survive and how to tidy things and why that towel

should be hung up. All of these things. Because I don't want you to be the example you used one day of some dork that pours raw pasta into an oven tray and then tries to bake it. I want better for you. I mean, I'm not setting the bar high. I'm not saying Nobel Peace Prize by the time you're 25. All I'm saying is don't be used as an example

that the internet can all point and laugh. Yeah, right. Someone shared on this that they were dating someone in the past and they had moved them into a flat. This was a girlfriend, moved them into a flat, made it a home, made the bed, da-da-da-da-da-da. And then the boyfriend got her a gift and she was like, oh my God, you didn't have to give me a gift.

It was a potato peeler. It's a practical gift. It was just a potato peeler. Yeah, that's not smart. Anyway, we want to know the dumbest thing that your partner has done. Recently. Recently, in the last month, be it food or just like, what?

How you dat dumb? How you dat dumb, boy? How you be dat dumb? I mean, you have to deal with a lack of cooking expertise, don't you? Yeah, that's fine. He's smart at other things. You know? He's smart at other things. We're not saying your boyfriends

are not smart. No, but maybe they just did something really dumb. Okay, 0800DARLS.M. Give us a call. Text through 9696. Tell us. Judgment free. And you can call anonymously if it's really dumb.

What's the dumbest thing your partner's done in the last month? We are receiving your correspondence regarding the dumbest thing your partner has done in the last month. Now, we have a few people dobbing in themselves as being the dumb partner. Yeah, that's very big of you to do that. Yeah. Got to know when you're being a dumb-dumb. Yeah. And, Niko, what did your husband do, the dumbest thing in the last month?

Okay, so we had just got a new car, and we were just up in Christchurch, and he decided he wanted sushi for lunch and he ate the wasabi but thought it was avocado. It's happening to some good people. The side of avocado. And when he packs a punch of wasabi. Oh, yeah.

It sort of went down the wrong way. So he had a drink of Coke with him. So he had some Coke, but it kind of exploded all in his mouth and just went, it just exploded all in the car. And it was like the Barbie and Coke over the windscreen and everything. And the brand new car. Brand new car. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Oh, no. Did he have to clean it up? Did you make him do a full clean? Yeah. It was only just expected of him to do that anyway. It was green and smooth. You know I love my guac. That's so good.

I love guac. I love my guac on my sushi. It's the greatest Mexican and Japanese fusion. It is. The message is in. The Airbnb we stayed at left food in the fridge. And my partner was like, oh, that's so nice of them. And decided to start eating it without checking what it was.

It was raw stuffed ravioli. Isn't that what Aaron was? That's what Aaron did. He was like, wanted to tell you about his favorite new snack. And he was eating raw ravioli. Snacking on raw ravis. Somebody said, I woke up in the middle of the night And my husband was biting my back And I screamed

Which woke him up And he started screaming He said he was having a dream He was a lion And that's it You've got a partner With a head full of rocks there What a dumb joker

Why don't you just say Here we go Eighth of the 11th And then turn on the microphone Oh no I was just thinking about Some dates in my head You were like

Alright guys here we go Eighth of the 11th I just had to remember those dates Eighth to the 11. Oh no, I'm just thinking about some dates in my head. You were like, all right guys, here we go. 8th of the 11th. I just had to remember those dates. 8th to the 11th. Oh, 8th to the 11th. Okay. I was like, what are you planning for November? There's a pen there.

Take the time. 8th to the 11th. 8th to the 11th. Here we go. We're talking about the things that you're part of, the dumb things your partner's done recently. No shortage of absolutely dumb. No.

My darling partner who gives me shit about my driving skills daily at the weekend tried to start my car by pushing the air con button. Not once, but three times. Oh, the button start. Each time getting more confused than pushing down harder on the brake pad, looking around wondering what's not going right.

Oh, no. It is weird. I don't like cars with the push to start buttons. I just prefer to put the key in. I don't like cars with the push to start buttons. I just prefer to put the key in. I don't like putting the key in the centre console. It needs a place to put the key. I do agree with that. Because mine's in my handbag and the only thing,

and I don't need it to boop it either. It's got a button on the handle. But then when I get to the door, I'm like, where are my keys to my house? Because you don't have them. They're bloody rattling around in there somewhere. Two weeks ago, we got back from a wee family break to Bali after drilling

my husband and children to pack their things really well as we were moving from one hotel to another. I proceeded to leave most of my own clothes behind. So I'm the dummy. The hotel was kind enough to have the items delivered to the new hotel. Then when I got home, I was like, I've left my AirPods in the safe,

which they are also kindly sending to New Zealand. So the head of the family there, making sure everybody else is organising, cutting themselves short on that. Remember the tip, if you use the hotel safe, you put your shoe in there. Yes. You put one of your shoes in

because you don't leave with one shoe. With one shoe. Unless you've got different shoes. When you travel, do you only travel with one pair of shoes? And then what if you need... What a man. What if you need something out of the... No, you plan the shoe that you're going to wear

when you leave in the morning. And then you put that one shoe in the safe. Right. You get your outfit ready. My husband, who is a health and safety advisor, I was wearing a safety jandals while using a chisel at home. Dropped the chisel, sharp as you like, straight through the foot, stuck him to the ground.

Stuck him to the ground. Blood everywhere. Went to hospital, he got stitches and crutches, and at one stage he had to fill out what his job was and he had to write health and safety advisor in there. My partner let me know that they thought toast bread couldn't be eaten unless it was toasted, like it was raw bread or something. So if you bought toast bread...

Oh, it's just thicker. It's just thicker. It just toasts better. It doesn't go as crunchy and as breakable. Shelly, what's the dumbest thing your husband's done in the last month? Hi. So he was helping me out. I was really busy. So he did a lot of laundry,

and then he washed it, dried it, left it on the couch, and I went to fold it all, and then all of the clothes had black stains on it, and then I saw a vivid in the pile, and he had left a vivid in his pocket and stained all of it. That's it. Vivid sticks. Oh, my gosh.

All the clothes are ruined. Yes. But the best part is, this is the third time he's done it this whole year. A vivid every time? No, last two times have been pins, but this time it was a vivid. Oh, my God.

What, does he always have one in his pocket for work or something? Yeah, yeah. And it's like, I always tell him to check his pockets, and I never do, but now I do every time. Oh, because I get told off by Aaron for leaving tissues in my pockets because I'm a shnoddy. Oh, everyone. You ruin a load, but not as bad.

You just do another one. Not as bad as a vivid. Yeah. Yeah, I was really, really sad. My clothes got ruined. Yeah. Oh, well, shopping. Is that what you're telling us, Shelley?

I was really sad, but you obviously, like, were... ruined. Yeah. Oh, well, shopping. Is that what you're telling us, Shelley? I was really sad, but you obviously like were... Mad. Yeah, yeah. Because you've ruined some... F-ing. Yeah. What the... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We know how that goes. Thank you, Shelley. Some more messages in. Somebody said their partner used to think that drinking a 5% alcoholic beverage meant that after that, you would be 5% on the way to getting 100% drunk. Well. It depends. For some people, that might work out that way.

Some people, far, far less. Yeah, drink responsibly. Of course, always. Always, please drink responsibly. My partner was cooking pasta. He was in a bit of a daydream, apparently, but the water was boiling. But for some reason, he thought I'll just stick my finger in it

to taste the water because I'd be like is that ready? Like soup I guess you go, is that, that tastes alright but he put his finger straight into a pot of boiling water. What the hell? Got a very bad burn. That stings. Listen, morning my husband is so clueless that when I called him from the

hospital to bring me a change of clothes and fresh undies after I'd just given birth by caesarean, he arrived with a bunch of G-strings. No, darling. We're talking crotch to tit. That's what we want.

Is that the podcast done? Because I'm busting for a poos. Busting for a poos. Jesus. Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.