ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 21st August 2023

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Teach in Schools  Hayley wants a gift back!  Controversial Food Moves  Hayley's Parking Fiasco  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Good morning. You're back from the knacky, a weekend in the knacky. Beautiful hot weather and stunning Eltham. Received my comedy and it was good fun.

We decontaminated it. I've been through the spritz. I've been through the spritz. You've been through the spritz. Yeah, when you go through the airport, they spray you, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. It was nice to be in the NACI. It was a bit cold on Saturday.

Right. Friday night, Saturday a bit cold. Cold everywhere though, isn't it? It is, yeah. Winter, isn't it? A bit of a chilly, chilly week ahead. More Taylor Swift tickets this week.

Do we? Every single day. We do. You're three weeks left of this. So if you missed out last week, we'll give you

the Taylor Swift songs coming up. Just watch your tone there. What? Three weeks left of this. Oh, yeah. No, I... Try it again.

Three... Only three weeks left of this. Only three... No, I just meant like we've got weeks, so if you missed out last week. Oh, right. Still chances, still chances. Oh.

That's right. I've had a tone check early in the show. Chances, you check your tone there. Check your tone. What's your tone? So, eight o'clock, midday. Did you just dribble? No, a big bit of apple just dislodged itself from my back teeth, which I've been attempting

to. How long's that been in there? Is this your apple on the way to work? Apple on the way to work. All right. Okay, thank God. A big bit of apple just dislodged itself from my back teeth, which I have been attempting to... How long has that been in there? Is this your apple on the way to work? Apple on the way to work. All right, okay, thank God. It's fresh. It's been there a while. And I just mushed the keys to try to get the apple out of the keyboard

after it came out of my teeth. No, no, it came out. But look, I've opened up this page of shortcuts available to us in Microsoft Outlook. Oh, fantastic. Why don't you learn some? Might print that off. What a happy accident that was. Create new folder. Up arrow N E. Taylor Swift. Oh, fantastic. Why don't you learn some? Might print that off. What a happy accident that was.

Create new folder. Up arrow and E. Taylor Swift songs, eight, midday and four o'clock. If you're the first caller through at four and you can name all songs,

all of those Taylor songs, you're getting a double pass. Three weeks left to get onto it. Stunning tone there. Stunning tone that time. It was shift E, not up arrow E.

Okay, the top six is coming up? Yes. Do you remember what you... Well, Labour have said if they are elected again, they've had six years to do it.

I don't know why they've just decided to do it now. It's the curse of being going again, isn't it? Yeah. Why haven't you done this already?

Why don't you promises? Ah. Why didn't you just do that at some stage in the last six years? They promise compulsory financial literacy lessons in schools. Yeah, do you know what? I always thought this, especially because I went to drama school and then they send you off into the freelance world

and you're like, what's a tax? What's a tax? It's so true though, eh? They don't teach you about after pay, afterpay or credit cards or... Oh, they might have touched on it in economics. Nah. They could teach you about afterpay and credit cards, but you've some lessons you've got to learn the hard way.

The hard way. The hard way. Well, I've got the top six other things that they should definitely teach in schools. It's coming up in the top six. Next on the show, though... If you, like us, are wearing a smartwatch, I've got disgusting news for you.

Great. Yeah. I'm actually taking a day off of wearing my Apple Watch because the band is so gross and absolutely sealed shut with paint. Yes. It's really bad. And it just looks rough. And I just thought, I'm just going to wait until I can go get a new strap today.

Okay. But I wear an Apple Watch. You wear an Apple Watch. Vaughn, you wear an Apple Watch. Correct. Oh, Georgia wears a garment. Okay, now we need to talk about this because I don't think we can be her friends anymore. I know.

You know when she walks in and she's like, how many steps have I done? Nick Garman. And we can't track her activity. Yeah, I know. Because we're on Apple. We don't know when she's done a workout. We can't say like five stars, keep it up. But there's loads that like Samsung have a massive range.

I know, totally. I feel like most people, you've either got like a nice timepiece or you're rocking some kind of a smartwatch. Well, they're disgusting, essentially. Science has been looking, science in general. Yeah. Science has been looking into the wristbands themselves and how much bacteria. They are a cesspool.

They are so disgusting. I have scrubbed mine before on the inside. Because you've got the silicone one, haven't you? The silicone ones make my wrist stink. Yeah. You know that smell? Yeah, mine definitely needs another clean. I think this is nylon, this one.

Yeah. And I had an elasticated one. Must be nice. Oh, must be nice. But so do you reckon because I swim, because what are you going to tell us there's a load of bacteria in them? 34,600 bacterial colonies formed per square centimetre of surface.

What? That is disgusting. Like, it's feral. Can that go into, like, silicon? It'll sit on top. It'll just sit on the surface. It'll just sit on the top. Just sit between your skin and that, and it's a little moist, though.

You could give it, like, a wipe every few days with like an antibacterial. Could do, yeah. Yeah, totally. Whereas mine, do you reckon... I might put it through the dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, put the whole thing in. Just put it up with the forks. Well, yeah, you do that with the muffin tray and that's silicone, isn't it?

If you, but you're like, most people wear them because they're interested in fitness, right? Yeah. So you work out in these things and you sweat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So your arms will sweat and it will hold into it, especially if it was a fibrous,

porous product like your own. But I go swimming quite a bit. Do you reckon that kills? No, I think it's going to be adding all sorts of other things. You're not bleaching it clean. All the fecal matter in the public pool.

Yeah. That's what the chlorine's there for. Yeah, I reckon. They said disinfectant spray and ethanol, highly effective, regardless of what the wristband material is. Right. Apple cider vinegar is another one. What can't apple cider vinegar do?

Heal your gut, like it says it does. That stinks, though. You don't want to put that on your watch. No. You'll smell that. Yeah, I know. I was one of those people that tried to get on board with taking a shot of it every morning. Oh yeah, how'd that go?

Rank. Yeah, it didn't do anything. Well, it doesn't combat the wines I have after work. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's not going to kind of just erase that. Yeah. So if you've got a smart watch, and I guess any watch, right? Well, they're saying plastic and rubber wristbands are the more appropriate ones.

Oh, they're the worst, though. Yeah. I wonder if she's just told you they're the best. Science has spoken. I've had one of yours, the silicon one, and yeah, you get a stinky wrist and it sweats. Yeah, and it rubs. And I'm always in between holes, you know? Oh, yeah.

The gooch, you can hit in the gooch, like the perfect time. Yeah, I'm the perineum size. Could you put another hole in between two holes? No, they're too close. Oh, okay, right. So it's either too tight or it rocks around. Sometimes at the gym and you're running and it's moving a bit, you've got to go down to a tube, and then I feel like I'm strangling it.

Have you thought about losing some wrist, like getting a little nip tuck? Wow, what a way to approach a woman on a Monday morning. Yeah, I heard it. This is the morning

after the FIFA World Cup final. Wow, so feminism's dead, is it? Yeah, well, we're done. It's just like a little nip. It's just a little nip. Are you yelling at a nip tuck or wrists?

Yeah, have you never heard of a wrist shortening operation? I wouldn't go straight to the wrists. Maybe I could take out some of my wrist fat. What is the equivalent of the wrist equivalent

of a cankle? Because that is calf, ankle goes into one. I don't have rankles. Wrist forearm. Yeah.

Or could you put a little fore wristy? You know when you go into the dentist and they put those big cotton wool things in your mouth? What are they called? Just shove a couple under there and go to the next hole.

Yeah, okay. And pack it out. The sense has got to be on your skin, doesn't it? You've got to pack it out a bit. I pack from under. Or you could pack the side. Yeah. Oh, these are all great suggestions. I'll be, I'll head off to the cosmetic surgery after this. Next on the show. I'll be, I'll head off to the cosmetic surgery after this. Next on the show.

I can't, I think I've hit the limits of my maths capability when it comes to helping my children. Oh. I'll see if you guys can do this. No. Because this, what is it, it's 47 years since you left high school. It's not 47. How old is she? Trust me.

Trust me, I do good maths. I do not deserve that. I can do good maths. I do not deserve that. I can do great maths. I can do great maths. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So I got an email. Did you? Must be nice.

Friday from Indy's teacher, Fire Tracy. Indy's completed their unit. Indy's my 11-year-old who's at the first year of intermediate. Yes, 7. Okay. Indy's just completed a unit working with fractions, decimals and percentages during the time they have learned and then it goes through what they've learned. I'm already

out. Unless it's out of 100 and there are 67%, I know that's 67 people. Yeah. If it's any more than that, I'm out. What's 67? What's 67 as a fraction? Oh, it's not quite three quarters.

Would it be two thirds? It's nearly two thirds, right? It's 67 over 100. Yeah. Yeah. Because it can't be that neither of them are divisible by... Wait, you said fraction. It's a fraction.

67 over 100. It's a fraction. 67 over 100. It's the same as a percentage. I know, but I always like to go for like the quarter cup. If it was 66, you'd go two thirds. Yeah. You know, you've got that little set of cups. Yeah. Quarter, third, yeah.

Yeah, you like to round up and down. I like to, yeah. I like to keep it to my cups. But you can't do that in maths. You can't do fractions, but you can do cups. So that's actually, interestingly enough, the first bullet point. Oh, yeah. Conversions between fractions, decimals, and percentages.

Wait, so do you get a breakdown of everything your kid's learning? Oh, just when they're doing, like, units. God, that's annoying for teachers. It's annoying for parents, too, Bill. I don't care. Just bring them back to me when they're smart. Yeah. Smart them up for me.

Smart them up and hand them off. So, like, one-fifth equals.2, but it's also 20%. back to me when they're smart. Yeah. Smart them up for me. Smart them up and hand them off. So like one fifth equals point two, but it's also 20%. So basically what you were doing with the cups. Is that a cup? Okay, good. It's a fifth of a cup. Next one, finding a fraction, decimal or percentage of a number. So what is four fifths

of 35? What goes into 35 five times? I nearly swore. What goes into 35 five times? I don't know. I'm holding the fingers up for you. Seven times five. Seven times five is 35. Yeah. And then seven times four is...

Don't live maths me. 28. Finger. Sproul. Addition and subtraction of fractions. So what is one quarter plus three tenths? Oh, jeez. You could be talking to me in Japanese.

Don't you just add them? You add them up? I think you add them up. You add the bottom to the bottom and you add the top to the top. Oh, jeez. You could be talking to me in Japanese. Don't you just add them? You add them up? I think you add them up. You add the bottom to the bottom and you add the top to the top. Yeah, four fourteenths, but then that can be halved. So two sevenths.

Because you always take it to the simplest form. So I'm on board still at this stage. Using equal additions to solve subtraction with decimals. I don't even know what that means. You're saying words now. I don't even know what that means. I'm so stressed. But that was like, it just said 4.23 minus 1.89.

So I just did the old school way and did it down. Did the math. Right. Done. Proportional adjustments. Oh, yes. Proportional adjustments. Wait, and you're 11-year-olds learning.

Did we learn this when we were 11? No, this feels more high school to me. It's year nine. She's advanced. Is she advanced? So advanced. Is she not a cab math? She's not doing cabbage maths.

She's not doing cabbage. Nah, she's not doing cabbage maths. It's all right if she was. Absolutely fine. Because you have other things that you're good at. Absolutely fine. I don't know what proportional adjustments. So is this the point in the email that you were like, I'm out of this?

Well, I just didn't know what was required of me there. Right, okay. 2.5 times 3.8 equals 5 times 1.9. Is it a simultaneous equation? Because those were my jam. I love those. Are there brackets? Oh, when there are brackets.

Oh, I love brackets. And then they chuck in some letters sometimes. Yeah, I know. It's unbelievable. Yeah, it is. What are you doing in here? Alphabet? I've never needed letters when I've been It's unbelievable. Yeah, it is. What are you doing in here? Alphabet? I've never needed letters.

The A's in. When I've been doing my maths. Yeah. What about syncos tan? I mean, what the hell is that? Oh, my God. Like the triangle thing? Triangle?

Because the way they taught us, you know how there was always like a thing, a way to remember it? The cos was Cosby as in Bill Cosby. Now, this was in the 90s before it all came out. Yeah, right. He was a real dirtbag. We haven't heard from him for a while. Decades of sexual assault. Finally caught up with the Cos.

This is where I got lost. Multiplication and division with fractions. Yep. So there's three quarters times one fifth equals. And I think you just go three times one on the top. Three. And then four times five. 20.

20. All the time you were just talking. So three 20ths. All the time you were just talking then it sounded, this is what I heard. I was like, man, what's for lunch? Yeah. I was immediately looking to the ceiling

to see how many dots were in that. And each one of those rectangles that were always in the maths ceiling. That just stressed me out. What a smarty. What a smarty.

But two thirds divided by three fifths. I just, I do not know how to divide fractions. You flip the second one and you multiply it. Yeah, that's right.

It's called Google. Yeah, it's called a calculator. I did. I put it into Google. I was like, what's the answer to this? I put it in and it took me to a whole lot of maths where it just didn't tell me. You know how when you're like ask Google anything, it just bolds the answer at the top. No, Google

was even like, I know you're trying to cheat. Yes, I used to be doing your homework. Here's how to work it out. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Fletchford and Hayley's silly little You're supposed to be doing your homework. Here's how to work it out. Play it. ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Fletchford and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole,

silly little pole. Firstly, I've got to apologise. I'm a little gassy today. I ate five entire bulbs of garlic over the weekend. Yeah, that's good, but you seem better. I've turned a corner on my illness. Yeah, maybe it's the five bulbs of garlic. Could be the five bulbs of garlic. I roasted them and then nobody else was kind of like putting their hands up

and so I ate two and then I ate one later and then yesterday I was kind of like putting their hands up, and so I ate two, and then I ate one later, and then yesterday I ate two more. Maybe ask you to think of your work colleagues at the weekend when you're binging. No, I reckon we just let rip. A little garlic. Right. Have a garlic blowout.

Get a good bit of garlic. Have you seen that guy who banned his girlfriend from farting? Oh, my God, I know. He banned her from farting. He's like, but you can't fart in the house. It's unladylike. I assume she's going to excuse herself for a toot. I'd fart on his face.

I'd suggest a little bit of sexy time and then I'd be like. Take that. Yeah. It's not very ladylike. Tell me not to fart in my house. I thought we just all had an insider now. How sexy time always starts for Hayley. Yeah.

Hi. The ass gets right up near the face. Oh, good Lord. Nice. Right, silly little poll today is not about how do you start. Start. What's your first move? Tattoo artist at a wedding?

Love it? Or not for me? A bride online hired a tattoo artist to be at the wedding. And you could go along and commemorate their special day by getting a tattoo. You had to pay for it too. Yeah, you had to pay £47. £47? Yeah, £47.

So what? Honeybuck. Close enough to Honeybuck. You would think that they would just pay for however long the artist was there if they were tattooing the whole time, right? But tattoos, I mean, would it be like you couldn't just get anything? It was... They'd have a little...

I'm seeing a couple here. Someone got a buffalo silhouette. Okay. So you didn't have to get something about the couple or the wedding. Some people got the date right. Why do I want your wedding date on my arm? No, that's a terrible idea. I went to a wedding with a tattoo artist there,

but it was just for the bride and groom. They got matching tattoos on the wrist. Divorced them. What were the tattoos? I can't remember. I think it was big initials or something. But they did that, like, kind of like as a ceremony in front of everybody. Yeah, like right after the whole formal side of things.

There was a tattoo artist waiting and they went down. It was nicknames. Each other's nickname for each other. Oh, right. And it didn't last. It didn't last, but hey. Tattoo artist at a wedding 24% of people said Love it

76% said Not for me Danielle says Tacky That's all she says Tacky Tacky You share those thoughts Vaughan?

Well I'm remaining Completely neutral On the situation Are you? It wasn't what you were just saying off air just moments ago. It wasn't? You had quite a strong opinion. A very strong opinion.

But, you know. I'm all for tattoos, says Melanie. I have tattoos, but I'd feel too guilty providing alcohol and spontaneous bad decisions to my guests. Well, I think they'd have to be sober. Most tattoo artists wouldn't touch you if you've had booze because it makes your blood thin. When you'll have a bit of a...

Oh, right. Yeah. Love it. Because if the couple get divorced, people can look back and that wasn't the only mistake they made that night. That's from Courtney.

Oh, my God. Courtney loves a bit of drama. She's here for the drama. Yeah. Yeah, drama. Sally said, I am engaged to a tattoo artist, so most likely be at our wedding,

but tattooing at a wedding is a bit gross, I think. Yeah. Oh, so she's saying there will be a tattooist at our wedding, but he'll be getting married. Oh, he won't be working. I would think most reputable artists would agree. They do really need a clean, sterile environment to work in, and I think that you can't control all the variables at a wedding,

and if alcohol is involved, it could also be a bit of a dodgy call. Yeah. Yeah. Tip of the hat. That's some sensible people. That's beautiful. Gel says... Gel, like hair gel.

Yeah. Gel says... 76% of you are so vanilla, be more fun. Do you think gel's a nickname? I don't know. It was short for jello. Is it? It's short for jello.

Why'd you make it worse? How's it spelled? G-E-L. So like hair gel. Yeah. It's like hair gel. I can't believe you've got hair gel listening to the show. What I can think of is that green stuff at the $2 shop.

That stuff was all we had. Yeah, I know. In the early 90s. I used to use that when I had hair. God, it went crisp. It went so crisp. Do they still have fudge? Is fudge still around?

That hair stuff? Is fudge still around? Yeah, fudge is around. Is Dax Wax still around? Now, Dax Wax, if you're balding, Dax Wax is really going to speed along the process. Is it? Oh, handfuls. Did that rip out

a bit of hair? Dude, absolute handfuls. Wow. Gels. We've had some background research from the producers. Gels, the real name

by the looks of it. That's a great name. I love it. I was a celebrant for a freak show circus wedding themed and they had a tattoo artist there.

It was awesome. A freak show theme at your wedding? Mm. Who would you go as? Strong man. Bedded woman. Oh, yes.

Yeah. That's a good for you. Getting out goes in a dress. We get cancelled don't those photos get out? 100%. Yeah.

I've had a good run though. I've had my fun. Yeah. Kirstie says, we had a good run though. I've had my fun. Yeah. Kirstie says, we had a tattoo artist at our wedding and as soon as the ceremony finished, we got our wedding rings tattooed on our fingers. It was super special. Wouldn't you be in, like, would that hurt for the rest of the night though? Yeah, they're fresh.

Yeah. And then have a little bit of plaid wrap around it. And then get your bapanthum on it. Okay. Well, you've got to get your bapanthum on it. Anyway, there you go. 76% of people are saying no and the other 24 saying, hells yes, chat me up.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I have to say the C word. COVID-19. Still here, is it? Still around. Yes. Little peak, eh?

Yeah, little whoop. Well, that's the thing. I looked at the numbers down, continuing to go down. Wastewater, however, telling a different story. No one's testing and reporting. We sat next to a guy in a cafe the other day, and I was eavesdropping because that's what you do. But we were in one of those cafes where the tables are so close to the table,

you can't really talk loudly. But then you just kind of forget, and you think that people won't be listening. But they are. What cafe were you at? The one with you. The one with you on Friday. Okay, dude, I was making sure.

Oh, you just didn't want to make sure we hung out again without you. You were away all weekend. It would have been impossible for you to attend for the cafe date. No, it's fine. You still would have wanted an invite, just in case. You literally left us to go to the airport,

and then did you think that we went out for another lunch? Maybe popped out for lunch. We've done breakfast and now we're having lunch. A delicious, I don't think I've ever had lunch that day. That's how filling that meal was. Neither did I. Delicious. So the't think they had lunch that day. That's how filling that meal was. Delicious.

So the guy at the table next to us was saying like how sick everyone at his work has been. He said they hadn't had a COVID related sick day for five months.

Like no one at his work. And then in the last week or 10 days they'd had seven people. I mean once it gets in we know it. But it's that waning immunity right?

You get it and your body will last for so long and then it's this weird thing. It forgets how to fly it and so you can get it again. I feel like it's definitely, there's been a lot of sickness going around. Like we've both been sick. Yeah. But I tested like six or seven times.

Yeah. Because I was so bad, but it wasn't COVID. When do we get our boosters? You didn't manage to get yours because you got COVID instead. But I can get it six months after I had COVID. Yeah. I can get mine in October.

Because I was like literally a couple of days before you. Yeah. So we can get them in October if we don't get it. Yeah. I'm ready to get the jab because I'm still one. Still in just one sesh. You just rocked it for first. The reason we mention this is everything was dropped.

No mandated stay at homes please. If you're sick, whatever situation. To be honest it felt like an election was looming didn't it? Bit of incentive. It felt like the election was looming and they were like no no we're cool.

You guys were the cool government remember? You can go to parties if you want. Yeah, get out there and party up. Well, there was a poll of the Restaurant Association members saying, hey, if you have staff carrying or preparing food who have COVID, would you be keen to make them not be at work? Yeah. Only 39%

said they would mandate the five-day isolation period for employees with COVID. That's bad. You're fingering my bloody kedgeree and then bringing it out. Your kedgeree. Ask them not to finger your kedgeree once it's plated. What is kedgeree?

Fish. Is it? Yeah, rice. Fish and rice. It's beautiful. Why are you going to a restaurant and getting fish and rice? Oh, because it's delicious. I love a kitchery. Yeah, that's the nice thing

you can have at home. Yeah, that's a home. I don't go to a restaurant for a healthy option. No, kitchery's good. Fish and rice. I've never heard that word before. Yeah.

No. Just say fish and rice. It's the type of fish, right? Right. But then, see, see I mean you know People that work in like Nine to five office jobs Might have

I don't know Two weeks of sick leave But also Office jobs Have You've proven you can work from home But the hospitality industry You can't

Famously you can't Sue someone their kedgeree From the comfort of your own couch And I know people that work in a hospital And they can't afford To not go to work Yeah I know and they can't afford to not go to work. Yeah, I know. And restaurants can't afford to not have staff.

Because everybody's short-staffed as it is. They struggle to get... Because they weren't paying very good wages and everybody in that industry were like, well, I'll just go to Europe then. Wait a minute, were we supposed to say that? Don't know. But anyway, pay the warrant if you want them to stay.

Otherwise, of course, they're going to leave. But 42% of restaurants surveyed said they would make symptomatic staff take a test before coming to work. But then that doesn't say, that doesn't carry over to them if they are. Yeah. What about their response? Maybe we'll just keep them out the back. Right.

So if you see the person serving you coughing. COVID. As someone who's been coughing fairly much consistently for three weeks, we don't all have COVID. I know, it's just a stubborn like, it is pretty good being out though and I have one of my little coffee coughs and people sidestep you. Your favourite thing.

Stay away, give me more space. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello. I saw it was a funny Reddit post at the weekend.

Someone's like, does anyone else get the feeling that Chris Hipkins just doesn't want to be Prime Minister next time? Well, we saw what it did to Cindy. Yeah, maybe he's like, ah, someone else have a turn. Schools across the country will be compelled to teach financial literacy in the coming years after a Labour Party promised to teach children about money was matched by the Nats. So

whoever gets in, there's going to be more learning about money. Because you did leave school. I think I remember we touched on like high purchases and economics. Yeah. But you didn't know a lot about anything. You're going to use that every day versus using the angle and the distance from a tree to work out the height of a tree. You know?

Yeah. Something that I've thought about but couldn't be bothered with. Mine was like tax stuff. I knew nothing about it. And all the different sorts of tax. There's PAYE. That's gone before you get it. Withholding tax. You've got to do that. Yeah. And all the different sorts of tax. Yeah. There's PAYE. That's gone before you get it. Withholding tax.

You've got to do that. Exactly. If you're like a contractor and then you've got to hold on to your tax and pay your tax. GST came into it eventually and I was like, it was very confusing. Yeah. Yeah. So that sort of stuff will be taught in school. So that's pretty good.

That's good. That's good to hear. Whoever gets in that that's going to be taught. Well, I've got the top six other things that should definitely be taught in schools. Give it to us. Number six on the list, how to brush your teeth properly. Yeah.

I don't think they do that anymore. Does that herald the giraffe? No, mine was the school dentist. Yeah, but they don't have school dentists anymore. The dental nurse. They don't have the dental nurse. Apparently since COVID,

the dental nurse is just catching up on all the emergency stuff. Oh. And there's no time to just go in and get a sweet little buzzy bee made out of some cotton floss and yeah. Oh, I love those. A couple of those bales, they were pretty neat. Little wings. I remember my last trip to the dentist when I was in high school, they said, well, this is

the last dental trip you'll have. Yeah. As part of the adolescence package, which is for free. And I said, can I please have a little animal? A little thing animal. I was 17. They were just like, what? I was like, can I have one of those little things?

It's my last trip. They were like, okay. And they made me one. It was a butterfly. Cute. Cute. It was pretty cute. Number five on the list of the top six other things they need to teach in schools,

flat pack assembly. Oh, yeah. Some people aren't very good at flat pack assembly. Especially with IKEA opening soon. Yeah. The first time you see an Ellen Kia, you're like, what are you the key for? And when it's those ones that you put in from the side and then you tighten it, you over tighten it and it pulls it through.

If you over tighten it, that's something they don't tell you about flat pack. Yeah. Don then you tighten it. Oh, yeah, those are cool. You over tighten it and it pulls it through. If you over tighten it, that's something they don't tell you about. Flat pack. Yeah. Don't over tighten it because you'll ruin it. Number four on the list

of the top six things they need to teach you in schools. Cleaning the lint filter in your dryer. Oh, yeah. That's good. That's a house fire waiting to happen. Is that the number one

cause of house fires? I do it every time. Or is it petrol? I mean, petrol's up there. Let me Google number one cause of house fires? I do it every time. Or is it petrol? I mean, petrol's up there. Let me Google number one cause of house fires. It could be a dryer. I watched,

I fell into a It would be heaters, surely. an Instagram reels hole of a guy in America who goes around cleaning out people's because in America all their dryers are vented.

So it blows the hot air out the roof but it gets filled up with lint and gets clogged. It gets clogged and then your dryer doesn't work, and it can cause house fires. Okay, I have the leading cause of house fires in New Zealand.

Give it to us. Candles. Unattended cooking is the leading cause of house fires in New Zealand. Don't drink and fry. Don't drink and fry, yeah. Yeah. It's like the time I left the potatoes on overnight. Overnight.

Overnight. Overnight. Overnight. Overnight. Overnight. Overnight. How were they in the morning? Charcoal. They literally crumbed. They couldn't have been. Couldn't have been saved with even a whole coating of tomato sauce?

Nah. How could you, Vaughn Smith, lover of potatoes, be eating a meal and not realising it's missing potatoes? Because I think I started the potatoes and then Sade arrived home with takeaways. Oh, yeah. This is like a long time ago. God bless that woman. Yeah. And then so I was the potatoes and then Sade arrived home with takeaways. Oh, yeah. This is like a long time ago. God bless that woman.

Yeah. And then so I was like, oh, I turned them right down but not off. Yeah, but old Vorm would have eaten the takeaways and the taties. He would have.

Oh, God. He would have. He would have. Number three on the list of the top six things they need to be, they should definitely be teaching in schools.

Biting your tongue in an argument with your partner. Where you've got an absolute, you've got a cannon loaded. That pea shoot. That pea shoot. You have a cannon loaded ready to blow a hole through them, but it is a hole that can never be fixed. Yeah. Bite your tongue.

It's better to know when to not say it. Yeah, I agree. Number two on the list of the top six other things they need to teach in schools. Know when it's a good time to go home. Yeah. I wasn't taught that. You weren't taught that.

And I had to learn it the hard way. Yeah. I got a good lesson in, hey, let's carry this thing on back at your place. Yeah. Definitely got that. That's a great lesson. That's a lesson they need to be teaching. The opposite, though.

And number one on the list of the top six things they need to teach in schools, definitely need to teach is how to cook pasta. I'm still though. And number one on the list of the top six things they need to teach in schools, definitely need to teach us how to cook pasta. I'm still not confident with pasta. Why are you bad with pasta? I'm still not confident with pasta.

You'll get better. Because they say, cook it till it's al dente. I say, outside. And they're like, no, that's al fresco. And dente's hard to the bite. Yeah, density.

But it started really hard. Yeah. How soft do I let it get? Just a bit of density. But it started really hard. Yeah. How soft do I let it get? Just a bit of like, it's not mush. Just keep tasting it. I don't want to. Fair enough. I'm going to go back to those taters and leave them on the stove all night.

That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Worldwide research has found the most, I don't know, livable, they're calling it, cities for single women to live in around the world. Based on 10, no, ranked out of 10 for several different metrics including the average wage, wage gap, safety, cost of living and world happiness.

Right, because if you're going to be single and you want to go on dates, you want at least the dates to be cheap. You want the dates to be cheap? Yeah. You want the dates to be safe? You want to be able to get there easily? And you want them to be happy? It feels like another one that the Scandi country is going to do a write-in.

Well, let's see. Because it's expensive to live there, but the wages are higher, and there's health, and there's safety, and there's lots of hot blanches. Yeah, there's a few. Well, I'll say, I'll go the worst. Oh, wait. So they've ranked all of the countries. They haven't just been like, these are the 10 best.

Or are you about to tell us number 10? There's 35 countries they ranked. Are we in there? We're in it. Yes. So the worst. Don't say yes yet. We know I get excited.

We just included. Don't say yes yet. Well now I get excited we're just included. Don't say yes yet. The worst three were Mexico, the Republic of Korea and Latvia. Oh okay. With scores of 2.77, 2.78 and 3.09 out of 10. The Republic of Korea is that

the good one or the bad one? It must be the good one. I bet your North wouldn't even be included in this. No. You know what I mean? Because you've got to have that. You've got to have one of Kim Jong-un's haircuts. Yeah.

And you're not getting dates. Would he get rid of us because we don't have hair? We can't have one of his sanctioned haircuts. No, one of his sanctioned haircuts is bald. Oh, is it? Yeah. I'll do that one then because the women's ones are dowdy, man. They're so funny.

Dowdy. So funny. New Zealand, we sat at 17th out of 35. Halfway. We're back in the middle. But how many countries all up are there? That's pretty good. 35.

They've ranked. They've ranked. Oh, yeah. So they didn't even look at the other countries? No, they ignored a whole bunch of them. Oh, okay. But we did beat Australia at 20. Okay, that's good.

Okay, so if you're single... For the best single countries to live in for single women. But have they included anywhere in the metrics the fact that if you move to Australia, there are just going to be more people and they're going to be hotter? Maybe. That doesn't say that on here.

Okay, the top three. What did you say, Vaughan, that you thought they were Scandi countries? It feels like one of those surveys that the Scandis do well. It better the top three. What did you say, Vaughan, that you thought they were Scandi countries? It feels like one of those surveys that the Scandis do well. It better not be England. Mmm. Slovenia is third. Denmark is second.

Scandi, yep. Iceland was deemed the most livable destination for solo women. Isn't Iceland the one where you've got to have the app to make sure you're not sleeping with someone you're related to? Yeah. Yeah, but if you're related, you're probably likely to get on. Things in common, straight out the gate.

Something to talk about. How's grandma? She's alright. When did you last see her? Yesterday? We should go and see her tomorrow. It's a little too close. That's a country of 350,000? Yeah. There's not many people there. So I would have immediately thought,

minus everyone in a relationship in Iceland, it would be slim pickings. It'd be the worst place to move if you're single. No. Well, don't question the research. I'm questioning the research. Don't question the research is the voice piece for the research. Right.

So there you go. We're doing all right. If you're a single woman looking to move overseas. At least we beat Australia. At least we beat Australia, but maybe avoid Latvia. And the good Korea. I was going to avoid that anyway. Avoid Latvia and the good Korea.

Subtitles. Big fan Of subtitles No I always watch shows With subtitles I ain't here to read a book Stop

Go up to captions Turn on Sometimes there's English And then next to it English Close captions Right What's the difference?

I always just go close captions Yeah I don't know I don't know No idea Well apparently Gen Z also huge fans of subtitles when they're watching shows. Can they not hear?

The only time I'll ever turn it on is if someone, it's like, you know, sometimes the bloody, bloody, bleaky, bloody. Yeah. Tommy Shelby. What do we do, Tommy? I understand we're speaking the same language, sir, but I cannot understand it. Yeah, crack that on.

Yeah. Get those on. But I know. I hate it. It distracts me and my eye is drawn down to the bottom of the screen so I miss the film. I use it as a backup. Sometimes they ruin a gag.

Yeah. Because they appear earlier than. Too early. Too early. And you're just like, no. But I'm chish. Yeah. Because they appear earlier than... Too early. Too early. And you're just like, no. Ba-dum-chish. Yeah. Too early.

Well, people were asked for different generations about subtitles. Gen Z, 59% of Gen Z prefer watching TV with subtitles on, and millennials are 52%. Read a book. Is that more reflective of the type of shows they're watching? Like a trashy reality show might have worse audio or hard to understand people? Imagine watching Love Island but with captions.

Americans do not understand accents that are not their own. No, they don't. Oh, no. They just aren't used to it. Yeah. What is that accent called that is in movies and stuff? Because there's regional accents around America, but there's one that's just plain.

General American. General American. Yeah. And when Kiwis put on their accent, like I'm just thinking of the TV show The Boys with Karl O'Barn and Anthony Starr. Yeah. Karl O'Barn puts on that British passable accent

and Anthony Starr's just nailed that neutral American accent. We got taught it at drama school because you can't get into auditions and be like a Cali girl when that's not the character. And how's your American? My American's great. Yeah, exactly. Be like, oh, she's just like a woman who lives in a city. Well, I got that.

I got that down just fine. I'm just your average 19-year-old high school girl. Producers, subtitles? Yeah, sometimes. If I'm watching on the plane, 100%. But at home, not always. Because what you can't hear it is good. Yeah, sometimes it's just a little loud on the plane.

Kids screaming. Yeah, the rumble, the rumble. I'm so ride or die captions that I've been watching Below Deck, best show ever, on 3Now, and they don't have captions, and I've gone back to pirating. What a shame. I cannot watch something if it doesn't have captions. I can't think. Why don't they have captions?

I thought you had to have captions. That's what I thought too. But you know, Love Island, everything. Captions all the way. Because captions is more about accessibility. Yeah. Absolutely. For people hard of hearing.

Yeah. But I thought the idea was you're always too screening or you're so distracted. Like, how do you even have time to read and watch and listen? I think I'm so distracted that I need it to be thrown in my face a bit. I think I need to be able to read it, be able to see it because I'm multitasking too much. But even like Squid Game, I dubbed and subbed.

Dubbed! No dub! No, no, no, no, no. Just subbed. Never dub. I started watching one of Squid Game and I was like, oh bummer, the dub sucks. I didn't realise you could take it off. Hey, don't touch me like that. Where are you Game and I was like, oh, bummer. The dub sucks. I didn't realize you could take it off. Hey, don't touch me like that. Where are you going?

Yeah, it was so bad. It's great TV. What was the Korean show where there was the 100, it was like the strength show and they slowly whittled them down. Physical 100. Physical 100. That was what that was like. The dubbing was so terrible.

Oh, yeah. Watch it with Korean and subtitles. It never matches the lips, does it? The dubbing. But everything's lost. But it's always like it'll always be like someone probably from Korea doing an American accent. Yeah. So it's always a terrible American accent.

I have been working on my muscles since I was 17 years old. Ha ha. I am into CrossFit. I will win these physical games. They are underestimating me because of my age. Ha ha. They will rue the day. Ha ha.

I love Sexy Yama. Sexy Yama. Sexy Yama for life. Sexy Yama was the champion of that television show. He truly was. So there you go. Subtitles. Put them on.

Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. That was such a classic fart Yeah Good stuff Good for you man I don't know if you've just joined the show I did mention this before as a sort of an excuse I ate five entire bobs of garlic at the weekend

And I have zero regrets Farts are funny man I have entire bobs of garlic at the weekend. And I have zero regrets. Farts are funny, man. As a woman who works almost exclusively in comedy, farts are funny, whatever way you spin it. They're funny until they stink. Nah, you're not too bad with the smell, but you're closer to them than I am.

Now, I love to give gifts. It's not known as my language of love. I'd rather give physical rubs and touches. Yeah, you would, yeah. And words of affirmation. But I've sort of given Karwin a present and I just don't know how to ask to have it back. When did this happen? I don't remember the, what?

Karwin, do you remember a gift I gave you? Maybe. I mean, there's like two things in mind. But I... Well, what has she given you? Well, I gave Karwen my undies once. That was the one I was thinking of. She washed those and folded them and brought them back.

In exquisite condition. Thank you, thank you. No, I was thinking it's either a clothing item or a hair item. It's a hair item. So what happened is I had this really expensive hair curler, right? Yeah, yeah. And I just was not using it because I had a bigger one.

Yeah. And now I've cut all my hair off. The bigger one, it's too big. And I was like, man, my hair's really been looking rank because I can't style it properly. I wish I had a thinner. Oh, my God, I gave it to Karwin. And then I was sort of noticing Karwin is a stunning woman.

I tell you what, every day she walks in and I'm just blown away. Especially by the hair because she's got your... No, the hair's always straight. Oh, right. So you're saying she's not using it. In my head, I was like, wow, I've never seen her use it, you know? And I'm talking about a $400 styling tool here. Were you given this?

Were you gifted this? I was gifted this. Okay. Yeah, Aaron gave it to me because he'd bought it for someone that then didn't use it. Right. So it was really on a journey to come to me. Yeah.

And then I so generously passed it on to producer Carwin and yet the hair continues to be straight. And so I'm just sort of questioning whether you use it or not because if you do, that's fine. But if you don't, give it back. I've used it once and I burnt my finger on it so bad that I don't have a fingerprint on that finger anymore. I'm not liable for that.

I'm not paying you out. I'm not liable for that. So what I'm saying is I am too scared to use it. Therefore, you may have it back. I can't believe you've given a gift and then asked for it back. Yeah, I know. But I could tell. Carwin rocks a straight do. My hair is just very

straight and it doesn't hold a curl. What is this for curly hair? It's got a tapered tip. Yep. And that's the bit that I need. You want to taper don't you? You need to taper. Because you don't want it You can't. No. You need to Mine always had a bobby tip. Now that's a different tool.

That's a different tool. Okay, because I haven't been listening. Because you started talking about hair products and I felt targeted. Well, of course. And I didn't even want to bring it up in front of my ball brothers. But it's got a tapered tip and now that my hair is so short, it's better to wrap around because it's thinner. Whereas mine, it's like I only get half a wrap and then it just sort

of looks like Brady Bunch style. Could you give, could you switch with Carwen, you give her the what is this, new one's got the bulbous tip, does it? The bulbous tip is just a fatter. It's a fat bulb. Because Carwen's losing out here. You owe her at least $400.

But she's scared to use it as she said. I could trade you something else. Do people still do this thing? Because when I was a kid, my mum once a week would wash her hair and then put curlers in it and sit under this thing at the kitchen table that went all over her head. Yeah, oh, my God. And it would just crank hot air on her hair.

And slowly roast your brain. She'd always read her woman's magazine sitting at the kitchen table. I was like, I'm in this thing. Well, we've come quite a long way since then. But that's what I was wondering. It's all done with the hand now. So this is the modern equivalent.

Yeah, well, yeah, basically. Then she'd take all the curlers out and her hair would be bouncy. Yeah, you'd curl it and then set it with heat. She'd look like Deirdre of Coronation Street. Yes, old Deirdre, R.I.P. But then you've got to, like, this is, yeah, well, she's dead, babe.

Yeah, she died. But then you've got to, like, this is, yeah, well, she's dead, babe. Yeah, she died. What's in the news? The actress Deirdre died. The one that smoked all the cigs. Oh, yeah, mate. Deirdre. Yeah. That's one of the top Google searches

when I put, is Deirdre. It says, is Deirdre 19th of January 2015 born? Yeah, mate. 10 ages ago. Yeah. Okay, my mum looked like 80s Deirdre. She was on Coronation Street for 42 years. Oh, she is one of the best.

And Ken, oh, and then Ken was so upset when Deirdre died. Anyway, Carmen, I will find something, because I like giving you a gift. Huh? I'll find you a new gift, and you can give my hairstyle back. I'll bring it in tomorrow. Thank you.

This is so rude. Ken from Coronation Street who was married to Deirdre. Been there since EP1. 91 years old. What? Yeah. He was there from EP1. Unbelievable.

Yeah, from 1958. He's our Michael Galvin. He is our Michael Galvin. He's their Michael Galvin. He's their Michael Galvin. Our Michael Galvin is Michael Galvin. He's our Michael Galvin. He's their Michael Galvin. He's their Michael Galvin. Our Michael Galvin is Michael Galvin. Is our Michael Galvin.

No, you don't need to say that. You need to say, our Michael Galvin, our Michael Galvin is our Michael Galvin. No, no, no, again, that's not needed. Our Ken Barlow is our Michael Galvin. No. Our Michael Galvin is our Michael Galvin. Not their Michael Galvin. No. And Al Michael Galvin is Al Michael Galvin. Not there, Michael Galvin. He's not there, Al. Al Ken Barlow is Al Michael Galvin.

No, because you said Chris Warner, because Ken Barlow is the character's name. Al Chris Warner is Al Michael Galvin. No. Al Ken Barlow is Chris Warner. Al William Roach is Michael Galvin. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley producer Jared

is he in trouble again no nah not in trouble not today oh that's good good boy not today

not today but maybe after this you might be he did float to the lads chat the other day that he had a new theory that if he Emma was on the phone

and he asked her no no no on the phone and he asked her and he asked her a question and she didn't answer, he was just going to assume the answer was yes. What? Yeah, I started saying, if you don't answer, I'm just going to do it. When she's kind of ignoring me on her phone and it really brings

her back to the moment. It does. I do that too. Is that what? Okay, well, I'll just go with that then. Yeah. Well, this is something that your girlfriend has done that puzzled you. Yeah, so I made her some toast yesterday with some peanut butter on it.

A gentleman. Yeah, I'm a scucks. Yeah, scucks deluxe. Cut it into four little squares. Wait, squares or triangles? I'm a square man. I feel like you get more bread. Wait, squares or triangles? I'm a square man. I feel like you get more bread. Wait, wait, wait.

She's not 10, Jared. She can digest big mouthfuls of toast. She didn't ask for it to be cut. I thought I'd just be a bit cute. Cut toast rules. Oh, my God, I'd be so annoyed. Cut toast rules. No.

Eat toast like toast. There's an SRP in there. It's not a sandwich. And then if you are going to cut it triangles, not squares. I'm a square man. Okay. All right. So I handed her her little dish of toast and she had a bite.

She was like, yum, thanks. 20 seconds later, hey, babe, could you maybe microwave this for 10 seconds? I was confused. It's toasted, right? The bread's toasted. Like fresh out of the toaster. Oh, delicious. But she likes it out of the toaster. Oh, delish. But she likes it when the peanut butter is just melted,

like liquid melted. Oh, but microwaving crunchy things makes them soft and sog. Maybe not for 10 seconds. Yeah. 20 seconds. But then so it would melt the oil in the peanuts. Yeah, but we are using like the cheapest peanut butter, so it just kind of liquefies into peanut butter syrup.

Were the hot toast not already liquefied or not to her liking? Not enough. Maybe I didn't put the toast in for long enough because I don't make her toast super often. But you said this is something she always does when you questioned her further into her motives. Yeah. I did notice after your house sat for us last time when we came home,

the toaster dial was on three. Three? Out of a possible six. Oh, well, yeah, because she does six for the first and then drops it down to three. Our toaster sucks, eh? Yeah, it's not great. Yeah, dude, our toaster sucks.

What brand is it? What brand? Name and shame. Only half of it works. Really? What? No, no, no, no. It all works, but you've got to go one.

It's four slices. Yeah. But you've got to use the right two slices before you attempt to use the left two. That sounds silly. Oh, God, no. It sucks. The toaster sucks. It sucks.

I've got a nice Breville one. I need one. I need a toaster that cooks Vogels. Oh, yeah. Okay. Hard to find a toaster that'll do a Vogels justice. And not just the edge. Yeah.

And even. God, I just want an even toast. Yeah. I'm going to keep popping and flipping and popping and flipping. I need a toaster with a big slot for when you do like a bigger. A bagel. Or like a salad dough. Or a salad dough.

Yeah. We're going to do that in a pan. Well, mum and dad bought that toaster especially for their McKenzie country life. Did they? You know McKenzie country loaf is like the slide. Yeah. Mum and dad found it and especially like, I feel like I've made this part up but I even feel like they took a slice

of bread with them. Wow. They were like opening up the boxes or just trialling the ones on display. Just dipping into the McKenzie loaf. If your parents really like a McKenzie loaf, I really do feel like they'll love Plowman's. It's a similar quality breeze.

Have you had a rollover? She's having a rollover. A similar quality bread, but just more of your normal size. Perfect for a sandwich. And it makes a fantastic piece of toast. I prefer soy and linseed. She's on big bread money, isn't she?

Canterbury soy and linseed. I met the farmers themselves. A delight. You know, Plowman's was the only bread left at the supermarket the other day when I was charged with buying a loaf of bread.

Which I thought wasn't a great indicator in the first place nothing against Plowman's took it home and the kids turned their nose up at it. Oh.

Really? Would they be into microwaving the peanut butter? This controversial food move? Maybe. The only thing I assume... It's a great idea if you prefer to melt it through, soften up the oils.

And honey, that would work with honey, if you want the honey to be melted. Oh, yeah, honey, honey, honey. Honey should melt through. I find with honey, if you microwave the spoon, you can just dig it out. Sorry, microwave the spoon? I don't think one should be microwaving spoons.

I can do that, because I'm a very swish. The new microwave that microwaves metal. Must be nice. Oh, flash. Yeah, but I don't think you should be microwaving spoons. I can do that because I'm a very swish. Hayley's got the new microwave that microwaves metal. Must be nice. Oh, flash. Yeah, but I don't think you should be microwaving metal, Jarrod. I fully believed him over here. Run a spoon under hot water always. But I thought this morning, can we take some calls?

Do you, like producer Jarrod's girlfriend, have a controversial food move? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, like, microwave your toast to melt the peanut butter? Do you, I don't know, do you have an unusual food combination? Maybe you take a bag of chips and you punch them all up until they're crumbs and then you eat the crumbs. I tell you what, if you're going to punch up a bag of chips,

they do make a great crumb. On like a chicken? Like a panko. Really? Yeah, bro, yeah, bro. Chicken breast, like, cut in half because otherwise it gets too dry. Beat the hell out of it and then coat it in salt and vinegar chips. Yeah.

And then fry it. Would that work for cheese balls? What about this loser over here with his hot barocca? Oh, yeah. That's a controversial food move. A hot barocca. What do you call it? A broccseco.

A broccseco. And has it in a wine glass. Yeah, because you have it in a wine glass. You call it A broccseco. A broccseco. And has it in a wine glass. Yeah, it is because you have it in a wine glass. You call it a broccseco. Is there something you do with food that people always turn their nose up or they're just like, why do you do that? Or why do you eat it that way? Maybe you only eat the nub of a carrot.

Hey, do not call if you eat your steak any more than medium rare. I do not want to talk to you. You're not welcome on the show. Find yourself another radio program. 0800- If you eat steak, well done. F you. F you. 0800-DARLES stake, well done. F you. F you.

0800 dials at Emerson. I'm going to give us a call. You can text through 9696. An animal died! Don't you dare eat it! Well done! What is your controversial food move? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We are talking your controversial food moves. Producer

Jared's girlfriend will microwave peanut butter on toast for 10 seconds. So toast, butter, peanut butter, microwave. It kind of liquefies it because it's the cheapest stuff. That's a hot plate. Would that work for like a Picks or a Fix and Fall? Yeah, because the peanuts are very oily. It's all oil. It gets the oil in it that softens. So that top text that just came in now, hear me out.

Cheese toasty, right? Yep. Colby cheese. Nutella. Oh, no. No. I'm kind of in. I'm kind of in. It's a controversial food move. I'll have a nibble of yours and make my decision. Brie, you have a controversial food move with oats. Is this a

breakfast thing? Yeah, like it's a porridge, but instead of having it sweet, I have it savoury. We'll put bacon on it. Like, you can put bacon in it. You can put anything you want in it. I put spinach quite often, but you know, it's just like spinach and oats.

Wait, wait, wait. Run us through your, tell us what's exactly in your latest batch of spicy oats. So I've been using recently your latest batch of spicy oats. So I've been using recently a little bit of curry powder and turmeric and then a chilli crisp egg on top. Oh, yum, chilli crisp egg. It happens, a chilli crisp egg.

So the oats is sort of almost playing the role. Yeah, okay. Almost a rice. Yeah, like a congee. It does. It almost has like a risotto-esque vibe to it. Okay. But what's the liquid in there?

Water? Water. I use chicken stock sometimes if I'm feeling fancy. I mean, it's not. I'm not. I don't hate this. I'm not mad. I don't hate this.

I don't hate it. It's delicious, but some of my friends just can't get their head around it. Yeah, I can't, especially if the oats were milky, eh? I mean, that's certainly a healthier breakfast than if it was sweetened with brown sugar milk. Honey, brown sugar, butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All kinds of stuff. Huh.

Controversial. Controversial. I might have to try that. I think I might have to try that. With a chilli egg? Yeah. I like the chicken stock idea. That's a hot plate.

Keep your texts coming through. 9696, your controversial food moves. Now I want a fried egg. I'm playing with chili oil. We're talking your controversial food moves. Producer Jared's girlfriend will microwave peanut butter on toast for 10 seconds. Somebody said the savory porridge that we just discussed is called pottage. People ate it for centuries as their staple meal.

I remember pottage. Pottage, not porridge. It would actually be better for you than porridge. But then do you want to start the day with a savory? You do. Yeah, I always do. I'd do savory all the time. And we've got a sweetie pie over here.

Chloe, what's your controversial food move? Hello. Hello. Hello. My Nana, when she was, like, when we'd go around and visit, you know how, like, when you're having, like, Raro juice or whatnot, you know, as a kid, you're just like, yes, let's not have water. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. So instead of having, you know, having lukewarm water as bad enough as it is, she used to make lime Raro with boiled water. Oh, like a Raro tea. Yeah, so it was like hot. And honestly, it was the most cringeworthy thing because all you wanted was a nice drink at your nana's house and you had to drink it hot.

Boiling hot. Good Lord. I can't imagine that. But then that's no different than Vaughan's... Hot Barocca. Hot Barocca. Barocca. That's a controversial food move.

The Hot Barocca was... It's so disgusting. The Hot Barocca was born out of the necessity for the Barocca to dissolve quicker. Oh, right, so it goes quicker. Yeah, right. So you need to go. Chloe, thanks for your call.

Shiv, what's your controversial food move? So, yeah, I eat condensed milk and chips on a bun. Condensed milk and chips on a bun? Yeah, like, um... Oh, your phones? I don't know what's up

with your phone. We'll just pop you a call. You're doing a little echo echo. It's an echoing there. But also, just to pick up on that, if we're talking a nice fluffy white bun some condensed milk and some crispy salt and vinegar chips

that's yum stuff I'm not mad condensed milk's mad I'm not mad at it ask the messages in to finish shouldn't be controversial but peanut butter

and jam on a beef burger and a set of tomato sauce is pretty nice I can imagine that'd be nice like a relish well it's a bit like when you have a

cranberry sauce yeah isn't it yeah it's a satay it's a bit like when you have a cranberry sauce. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. It's a satay beef with a bit of... By the way, that burger thing's on in Wellington at the moment. I know. And I've got a mate that goes... Wellington on a plate.

And he does so many of them. Do they? God damn it. Like, why... I was there and I didn't eat a burger. Oh. I forgot. And then I saw it at one of the restaurants, Wellington on a plate. I was like, what? I didn't get was there and I didn't eat a burger. Oh. I forgot. And then I saw it at one of the restaurants, Wellington on a Plate.

I was like, what? I didn't eat a burger. Oh. I forgot. And then I saw it at one of the restaurants, Wellington on a Plate. I was like, what? I didn't get the burger. Oh, my God.

Just the burgers. Some of the burgers. The pictures of the burgers are so good. You should have said burger four times. Yeah, you do. Burger, burger. Yeah. Mashed banana and grated cheese toasted sandwich.

Oh, no. No. Get out of and grated cheese toasted sandwich. Oh, no. No. Get out of here. Get out of here. Molten hot. Cheese on ginger nuts. I won't hear anything against it. I'm kind of, I think that would be nice.

I'm open. No. Like a blue cheese on a ginger nut. Yeah, I'm open. No, because, you know, Jana makes those soft ginger biscuits with the crystallized ginger on top and you put a bit of blue cheese on the top.

Mmm. Yeah, okay, maybe. I'm hungry now. I'm just hungry for any of these weird combinations. My stomach is screaming it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Friday afternoon, as we all want to do, we went and had a little brunch, the three of us.

It wasn't Friday afternoon. It was Friday after the show. Oh, Friday morning, sorry, yeah. Friday after the show show yeah uh it feels like the afternoon doesn't it sometimes it does it must be bedtime and it's 11 30 in the morning well we went out and we tried something new and when it had a lovely little brunch and uh fletch drove with me and we went we me and vaughn were sort of having a little race. That was fun. We were pulling the fingers at each other.

And then you got in front. And then you like pipped in front of me. Yeah. I didn't like that. Anyway, I parked up on a street just across from the cafe. And I went to go to the parking machine. And Fletch was like, don't you have the Auckland parking app? Get the app.

Like everyone, you've got the app, right? I've got the app. Yeah, I've never used it. And this is why I tried to explain to you the app is great because it saves you money because you don't have to pay

for half hours or full hours. Does it save you money? You stop the app and you get charged exactly the time that you park. This is not the way you explained it to me.

And they charge you the credit card at the machine. They charge you to use your credit card at the machine. Yeah, it's a 50 cent fee. Yeah, I've always just used my card at the machine. Okay.

So, you've got the app. As we're doing it, I look at the sign, the card on the machine. Yeah, it's a 50 cent fee. Yeah, I've always just used my card at the machine. Okay. So, you got the app. As we're doing it, I look at the sign, the number on the sign to remember and I'm downloading it as we're walking

to find you. That's why you were like, where are you? Took a bit of time with the app. Got the app, had to put in my card details, my car details,

the street I'm parked on and then I swear, I like toggled the thing for how long I was going to stay, which was like, I said an hour, an hour and a half maybe to be safe. And then off we went to a beautiful brunch. We got crab scramble. It was delicious. Sade is livid we had crab scramble without her.

Is she? She's livid. She said, you know you're not allowed to eat crab without me. It was controversial to have crab for breakfast or brunch. Loved it. Chili crab scramble. Yeah. It was delicious.

Yeah. Anyway, then we all parted ways. We literally split in a three-prong approach. You were off that way, Vaughn that way, me this way, back into my car, drove to the airport, pulled in, went to the kura lounge, had a little mimosa. Must be nice. Oh, no.

What? I know what you've done. Yeah, I met my friends. I heard this ad. Now I've heard this on the app before too. Met my friends. Was in New Plymouth Airport. Yeah.

And then I got a text saying that your parking was. About to expire. About to expire. In 10 minutes your parking will expire. And I was like, what parking? I'm now parked at Auckland Airport. I parked for apparently

8 hours and 10 minutes and was charged $36.83. Yeah, so the parking app, you've got to drag that slider right back or remember to stop the parking when you leave. This was not clearly explained to me by the man who was saying,

get the app. I've got an issue. The default on the app shouldn't be the far end of the dragger. It should be at the low end of the dragger. So I was like, select your time. $36? We were there for an hour. You know what?

And you paid for breakfast because you had a voucher for that place. I did. So he gets a free ride A free ride. A free breakfast Yep. And you get charged $36 to haul his fat ass to Newmark. So that breakfast cost me $150

$150 Just to but you didn't explain it well enough. Your drunk message that you sent me abusively at like 8 o'clock on Friday night was very funny. But we were walking and I said to you, turn on. You had to allow the location. I did allow notifications. It notified me at 5.45.

You can also go into another. It's a pain in the ass to set up, but you can go, and when you start moving, the app's like, oh, they've left the area. This is what I told you. Left the area?

I'm a new plumber at this point. Yeah, I know. But that's in the settings. But this is what I told you. You had to allow locations so it knows. I did. You saw me do it.

I know. I did see you do that. You said when you retire, you're going to be at the airport and you're going to be with the old man that answers everybody's questions. Yeah. You're going to half-ass airport and you're going to be with the old man that answers everybody's questions. Yeah. You're going to half-ass them and end up costing them a fortune.

You've got to see these things through. $36.83. How much would you like to contribute? I told you. And I swear I saw you slide the slider back. Yeah, I did. I slid the slider back. And to eight hours.

This is an issue you've got to take up with the Auckland Council, not me. I'm not going there again. I'm not having a bus lane debate with them again. We're not going to go there. Was that Auckland Council or was that Waka Kotahi? No, that's the council. That was the council. Just message them and say it was an honest mistake.

They'll credit you back. It was your first time. It was your first time. It's never happened to me before. I've got a busy busy life. Oh, you can literally do it now. Can you do it in the app? Probably not. Just go straight to the mail. Do you know what? F this app. This app is getting deleted off my phone.

No, it's great. I'm going back. When you remember. I'm going to go back to coins. They don't accept coins anymore. I'm doing coins. I can take my coins. They're not allowed to not take my money. This is attacking even one of the brands I love the most, Gorman. So this is out of Australia, but it's making its way over here. Gorman?

Yeah. They make the watches that Georgia wears. No, that's Garmin. That's Garmin. Garmin's embarrassing. Gorman is far from it. This is a scam you've got to watch out for. So many people have fought, even like smart people.

Because I can sniff. Did you fall for it? No. Because that's what someone always says when they're about to tell you they fell for a scam. This one must be sophisticated. This one even gets smart people. So, you know, I can sniff a scam. Because they just stink

and they're like bad and rubbish and you're like, okay, the writing's terrible. This is fake websites of popular brands like Gorman, clothing brand, like bloody Frank Green, the water bottles that we all bloody love. Yeah. And they make fake websites that look so real, really sophisticated designs,

really like all the logos and everything. Do they mimic the exact same website? Like, for example, Frank Green? Yeah, a lot of them are like total like mirroring. But what's the difference is the website's spout just a little bit wrong. Like sometimes one letter. Or they'll have an omelette.

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. An omelette. Yes. And so people go onto these websites and they're like, and they'll have an omelette. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. An omelette. Yes. And so people go onto these websites and they're like and they'll be advertised to you. Frank Green water bottles, 30% off. These are expensive. 30% is a good discount. So like on Instagram or Facebook or something. Facebook or whatever and then

you'll go and click on it and then you're in the website and you're getting scammed. Now our producer girlies, you've been seeing these popping up everywhere. Yeah, so the other day I was scrolling on Facebook and there was an ad for Frank Green. It said 30%. And I said to Shannon, whoa, 30%. That's like quite good.

Let's go. I don't need one, but I could be tempted. And like super believable as well. Yeah. Because if it was a scam, you'd think it would be like 60% off. Yeah. Or like free. Get one free.

Get Ray-Bans. Free, free, free. And so to be fair, I clicked on it just to see what it was because I was like, this doesn't seem real. But all the comments all on the post, no one was saying it was a scam, went on it. And Shannon and I stared at it for a good few minutes being like, it's not right, but we can't figure it out.

Something's off. And I've actually been seeing people saying the way to look out for it is basically in a normal website URL, the A always looks like an American A, you know, where there's like a little hat on top of a circle. Yeah. I don't know how else to describe it. But basically people are using other language A's. So it would be like Frank Green and the A's just like a little circle with a stick. Yeah.

There's no hat on it. So that's how they make it. You read it correctly. Right. That's how they make it look with a stick. Yeah. There's no hat on it. So that's how they make it. You read it correctly. Right, that's how they make it look like the website. Yeah, and like your brain would never be like, that's spelt wrong because it's correct. It's just not how a website's formed. And so the scam is you think you're buying a drink bottle

and getting 30% off, but they're just taking your 30, 40 bucks or whatever. I've even been getting some of my emails now. So like Brian's saying, hey, Shan, do you want this? Good on you for not falling for this because you went all the way to...

Well, I've fallen before. You went all the way to Nigeria to meet that prince. Well, I did pay for a toll road when I drove from Remuera to CBD and I paid for a fake toll road. For a Northland toll road. And I did get cleared out for that one. Do you know that the other way

they're saying is to see if they've got limited payment options to only credit card and not like a PayPal, like a secure payment or after pay or Apple Pay or anything like that? Well yeah, when I did get scammed and I fell for it, I put my card details in and it said no hon try

again so I think maybe that's also something to look out for. Yeah, a bit of an alarm there. Yeah, and then I just put it in three more times. I think maybe that's also something to look at. Yeah, a bit of an alarm there. Yeah. And then I just put it in three more times. I think I'm being scammed at the moment. A lot of people getting Hayley Sproul ZDM, not an account that exists. Yeah, we will never ever ask listeners for credit card details. And if you

see it, send it to FVH ZDM and we can get it taken down. The only thing I liked about this profile, Hayley Sproul ZDM, that was scamming everyone being like, you've won a competition click here, is they chose my cutest photos. They really do. They curated my photos and they really made me look quite bright. So that's how you know it's a scam.

Yeah, you know it's a scam if I look perfect in all the photos. Yeah. If it's a bit of a dog photo of Hayley, that's the real me. That's legit, yeah. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Pepe.

Today's fact of the day is about cyclones, tropical cyclones, and California, Los Angeles, who are experiencing their first tropical cyclone since 1939. Whoa. Yeah. Because I heard that because it's, what is it, Cyclone Hillary. Hillary. It's coming up through Mexico and it's hammering the, like,

is it Baja Peninsula, that area, Cabo and stuff, if you've been to Cabo. No. And then it's coming up. And that never happens. Well, how do they name, have you done a fact on the down how they name these cyclones? Yeah, they go through the alphabet and they go.

And it's always a female, right? Male, female, male, female. And then if there's, like, really famous ones, they retire the name. Right, yeah, yeah, right. Like Katrina if there's like really famous ones, they retire the name. Right, yeah, yeah, right. Like Katrina, there won't be another Katrina. No. And Gabrielle, there won't be another southern hemisphere Gabrielle.

Interesting. Yeah. It is interesting that the most tumultuous ones are women. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Quite unpredictable. Yeah, yeah.

No rhyme, no reason. Pressure-based. High pressure. Running hot. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, can unpredictable. Yeah. No rhyme, no reason. Pressure-based. Yeah. High pressure. Running hot. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, can't be stopped. Come in, cause a fuss, and then F off.

Yeah. I just haven't seen a cyclone brewstack out a bridge, that's all. I'll just say it. I'll say it. Bowler? Was Bowler male or female? Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

Bowler. Because that's not really a male or a female name, is it? I don't know. Bowler. Bowler. I don't know. Well, it's got to be a name somewhere. Yeah, true.

Bowler. Oh, it's a weapon. A cyclone bowler. That's a woman name. That's the first one. So why don't tropical cyclones hit California? It's because there is something called the California Current. And when you look at the Northern Pacific Ocean,

the way California's kind of protected by this, the water is going clockwise and the water currents come down from Alaska and down that coast effectively from the cold Northern Pacific. And this is one thing that blew my mind

when we were there. I was like, man, it's so hot. The sea water must be lovely. Freezing cold. Yeah. There's sea water in LA, it's so hot. The water, seawater must be lovely. Freezing cold. Yeah. There's seawater in LA and it's always cold. Is it? San Diego, cold. Yeah. They're like, yeah, it's cold.

So, and it's because of the same thing, the California current, it drags the water down from like the cold Northern Pacific. Right. So when a hurricane is hooning from like Hawaii straight towards California, it hits, it's trying to get more energy out of the warm water and it just hits that cold water and just loses all of its gas and putters down to just like a storm and then might get some rain and stuff. Right.

But it's not a full-blown cyclone. However, as Fletcher said, this one has snuck up the coast. Over the hot deserts of Mexico. Yeah, but staying in close to that coast. Right. So it didn't get close to that coast. Right. So it didn't get to hit that cold water coming down because that down there is... I've never been to Central America,

but is the ocean water warm? Yeah, it is. Because the current is coming up from the tropics. Yeah, right. So it's come up and it's snuck up the coastline. Oh, snap. Which is the only way a cyclone can hit LA. But that hasn't happened

since 1939. Wow. It was the last time. Okay. Unreal. So we are truly screwed then. Uh, not as screwed as they were in 1939 because they didn't have any predictors. They didn't even know it was coming. It was just on them. Like what's this? 100 people died.

Oh. Because isn't like Las Vegas is going to get like so much rain that it's just going A hundred people died. Oh. Because isn't, like, Las Vegas is going to get, like, so much rain that it's just going to be too much? Yeah, well, that's the other thing is these places, due to the currents and the way, and they don't get, like, I mean, they could have some of Auckland's rain. Yeah. They're happy to pass it on.

They're happy to send them some. They can't get deluges of rain. So when it rains, their storm system and stuff isn't set up for it. So that's where the problems are going to... Right. So that's why they never get cyclones. No. LA can never get a cyclone because they can't hit it straight on.

And then the very rare, rare occasion one sneaks up the Mexican coast is the only way it can get. But if it touches too much of that California current, the cold water coming down from the top, it'll just kill it. But if it touches too much of that California current, the cold water coming down from the top, it'll just kill it. Won't it get to Trump's wall and stomp though? Hard to get over the wall. Hard to get over a wall.

Hard to get over the wall. Even for a hurricane. Yeah. Tornado. Unless you tunnel in or they've got a ladder. Might have a ladder. Do you see that, mate? Speaking of these weather things, Canada's on fire?

Yeah, the wildfires in Canada are also... Canada's on fire. Yeah, the wildfires in Canada are sort of... Canada's on fire. Maui's on fire. We're wet. Very wet. Las Vegas is wet. I shouldn't have said that so long, actually. Yeah, really rumble.

Very wet. Very wet. Very wet. So today's fact of the day is LA is getting hit by a tropical cyclone, and that doesn't happen due to the extreme amount of cold water that comes down from the northern Pacific. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. But Espears' husband has filed for divorce. Apparently, I was, I mean, you don't know what to believe, but I was reading he'd just, like, go away for, like, months at a time. Yeah, I don't think, weird. I don't think he was, yeah. I don't think he's all there. No. And I don't think, weird. I don't think he was, yeah. I don't think he's all there. No.

And I don't think she's all there. But it's very sad. And apparently she's coping all right. Like friends are saying, you know, she's not just like curled up in a ball and, you know, given up. Yeah. She's like, wow, she's just shocked, as she said in her own Instagram post. But the other day over the weekend, bless her,

she was pictured close to midnight Friday night popping out for some fried chicken. Now she's in a little pair of hottie pants

as she's wont to do. Yeah. And a little knit jumper which has fallen off the shoulder. Now she's not rocking a bra.

We've got nib. Well it says close to midnight. She's just going out for some chicken. We've got big nib. What do you close to midnight. She's just going out for some chicken. We've got big nib. What do you mean nib? Nib or nib?

The nib of the nip. The nib of the nip is out. No, just like really poking through. It's quite a soft nip. Did she drive through or walk in? Walk in, man. She's on the street. Big nib.

She's on the street looking worse for where the poor girl hair extension's out and all this kind of stuff. When you're one of the most famous people in the world, you've just broken up with your husband. Surely you get Uber Eats, right? Surely you send some other loser at midnight. There's like a million different food delivery options in LA. You are Britney damn spears. You don't have to get your own chicken at midnight.

Get someone to get you fried chicken. Yeah. Also, I just love, it's so real. She's just like, my husband's leaving me. I'm really shocked. She said she was shocked by it. Yeah. She's in a state, disheveled as hell, nib, nib, nib, nibs

out, and she's off for some fried chicken. This is why you should always have some teagull takeouts in the freezer. Yeah, I know. I doubt she cooks. The thing is, you don't need to be able to cook. You put them in the oven for an hour, and they're delicious. I've never had them. I still haven't had them. Yeah, but sometimes you just want it now, you know?

Yes. Might have just been just down the road. She's like, go in, get it. Yeah. But I want to know because we've all been there when you are just so in the shock of a relationship breakup that you just behave a bit odd. I remember when I was at drama school, I

got dumped. I don't talk about it. Wouldn't have made a dramatic thing out about it. No, not at all. I bought two bottles of the cheapest Bang Rock Station red wine. And I hopped to my bed and I had these huge old sound systems and I put Metallica on so loud.

And I sat in the bed and I drunk both those bottles of wine. And then obviously I fell asleep at some point holding the bottles of wine straight from the neck. And my flatmates had to come in with like, blasting the whole house. And they came in and they're like, oh, well, I guess they're no longer together. Made a real sack.

Yeah. Woke up the next morning, felt awful. Yeah. And I ruined my mattress. But there is this... Wait a minute, you ruined your mattress? Did you spill the wine? Yeah, one of the bottles was in my hand.

Oh, I thought you might have had a chunny. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. Oh, you fell asleep? No, I'm not a chunny girl. Oh, right, okay. But this is why we call it comfort food. Exactly. Because, you know, you find comfort in fried chicken at midnight.

Yeah, I want to know, what's the rough way you handled the breakup? Did you go and order bloody a huge amount of nugs? And if there was a song, while you're telling us the story, we could play the song in the background. Oh, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Unless it's Metallica, because I really went back to their old stuff quite heavy. You went real early 80s.

I vibrated the house with my sorrow. Aside from the wine though, was there a comfort food or is there a comfort food if you were to break up that you'd go to? Yeah, definitely. I think it would be a family pack of nugs. And then they'd be

like, how many dipping sauces? And you go, all of them. Yeah. Three of each. How many have you got left? We've got hundreds. Hundreds of nugs. I want my 40 nugs to be utterly dripping.

We are talking about how you handled the breakup. Poor Britney Spears, her husband's filed for divorce and she was seen close to midnight getting some fried chicken. Yeah, well, she's a southern girl. She is a southern girl and that's what southern girls do. But we want to know, like, what was your reaction?

How did you push through? Yeah, was there a comfort food? Yeah, comfort food. Like fried chicken close to midnight. Maybe a comfort spend. Yeah. On a spending spree, somebody said, spent $1,500, then we got back together. Whoops.

I'd do that. I'd go cray. Makes you feel better for just that little bit of time, doesn't it? At least I look pretty. A haircut, a dramatic haircut. Oh. Okay. I moved to this other side of the world.

Knee jerk. Run from their problems there. 7 a.m., I turned up at my friends with wine, ciggies and chocolate. And we listened to Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie. Big Girls Don't Cry. Oh my God. Also wine and ciggies at 7 a.m. Oof.

Yeah, 7 a.m. ciggies. Man, that's rough. Keep your texts coming through. We are asking about the rogue way in which you handled a breakup. Poor Brittany, eating fried chicken at midnight, out on the street looking, I hate to say it, rough as guts. But you'd be looking the same, though,

if you'd just broke it up from your husband. Yeah, well, I looked pretty terrible, heard in two bottles of red wine, listened to the telegram in bed at the age of 19. Was that the DJ? No, I didn't cry over him. Get a grip. When he didn't pick you up from town um daniel

how did you handle the breakup uh well i drowned my sorrows in a few more recommended drinks yeah and um went home with his best friend yeah you did shake the best way it's always a great it's a great feeling. That'll teach him. Wait, so did he break up with you when you were out or you went out after? No. So I found out that he had cheated on me and then I broke up with him and then I went out and drowned my sorrows and drowned yourself in another man. How good was his best mate, though, like in terms of, I mean, were they best friends or they can't have been best, best friends?

Well, no, they weren't best, best friends, but they were in the same friends, like, group, and they went to school together. Did your now ex find out that you'd slept with his pal? Yeah, he watched me leave the next morning. I thought you said he watched. He watched. I don't know if you can say that in the radio. Can you not? No, I don't think so. I up. He washed. I don't know if you can say that on the radio.

Can you not? No, I don't think so. Sorry. I don't think so. I don't know. I don't know. It's particularly, you know. If you've got to ask.

Was the best friend even hot, though? Like, did you only do it because it would hurt your ex? Oh, no. No, I had the hots for the friend for a while, and we ended up being friends with opportunities for like 10 years. I think you're allowed to say benefits. You're allowed to say benefits.

Yeah, you're allowed to say benefits. That's fine to say. It's just not that word that Hayley said. I'm learning. Dania, thank you. Jess, how did you get over a break up? Morning team, I kind of went the other way. So my husband walked out on me and our kids last year.

Oh well, good for him. Yeah, good for him. Good for us as well, actually. But I lost 15 kilos and I got a giant tattoo on my thigh. Yes, I love this. Wow, so you're like living your absolute best life. Yeah, starting to now, just over a year later, the shock took a minute to wear off.

I'm sure it did, mate. Good for you. I feel like that's quite a common thing, eh? There's a lot of people that shed weight or go to the gym. My friend did this. She got dumped and then she ran the Great Wall of China marathon and then was like, I love fitness, and now she's ripped. Holy heck, no, I definitely didn't do that.

But the tattoo is very satisfying. Yeah. What's it on? Is it a phoenix rising from the ashes? Yeah, pretty much. Reborn again. Two dress sizes smaller. Yes.

I love that. This is why I don't want a husband, because I'll be 15 kgs heavier. Yeah, don't do it. Because they make you eight, don't they? They're feeders. They're feeders. They're feeders.

Do you think it's your call? You really have to watch your step running up the Great Wall of China, wouldn't you? Yeah, it doesn't seem... There's photos of her climbing. Like, she's so... Do you run the whole length of it? No, you run a marathon.

You run 42K. That's fascinating. I don't think I've ever heard of that. Good response to a breakup, though. Great response to a breakup. Another one, I had a $1,900 SPQR long lunch on his card. $2,000!

After a... For the non-Aucklanders, SPQR is like a very Ponce-y. Yeah, Ponce and Beer. You know, all for show, Ponce and Beer restaurant. If you're not sitting outside, darling, I don't care if we're sitting inside. People need to see me now. I love it. I broke up with my girlfriend when she didn't pick me up from the airport

when I went to visit her. Wait, so you're visiting and then you've got to get an Uber. Went to my best friend's instead, bought an entire cheesecake shop, gateau. Yum. Oh my God, yum. I like this weekend better already. And ate it from the box with a fork. Yes.

Yes. With no spoons. Cake is a fork. I'd like a spoon. No, spoons. Cake is a fork. I'd like a spoon. No, cheesecake, I want a spoon. Scat, scat, get out of here. Get out of here. Get up.

God. Get out of there. Get out from underneath my feet. A very hot, young, personal trader helped me over the breakup of my marriage. Oh, hello. Never been to the gym so much and experienced some rather different workout techniques. She's really working on those hip thrusts. Went to Ararodonga for a five-day party bus bender.

Ended up on an IV and being banned from the rehab bar for life. What? Which one's rehab bar in Ararodonga? Very ironic name of Rehab Bar. Is that the one right by the airport? Oh, no, it's Trader Jack's. I don't know. I've never been.

Oh, you simply must. Beautiful. Look at this. Oh, yeah, look at this map. Now I'm excited. Get me back. Take me back. I don't reckon they're going to recognise you after you

if you give it a couple of years. Yeah, maybe change your appearance somehow. Is that the podcast done? Because I'm busting for a poos. Busting for a poos. Jesus. Give us a review.