ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 21st July 2023

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

Elephant Dinner  Top 6: Last Minute Invites  Final Rankings: Dessert Pies  Vaughan got laughed at!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fleshforn and Hayley in absolute scenes at Eden Park last night. That was incredible. I didn't know that was their first ever win. There was a whole lot of firsts during that game.

The commentators kept hitting us with stats. Yep. About firsts. It was the first goal, the first win, the first... I don't know. I'm not going to lie, I was dual watching. I was watching the show and then I had it on my phone. Oh, really?

I was dual watching because I was watching it at the pub. That's also TAB, so they had the horses on as well. Oh, right. The doggies and the ponies. The doggies, the ponies and the football. I was at home giving it my full and undivided attention. Right, I had sound doggies and the ponies. The doggies, the ponies and the football. I was at home giving it my full and undivided attention. Right.

I had sound for the last 10 and that was incredible when they won. I couldn't believe at halftime, I was like, how far are they into the game when they got their first goal?

Yeah. It was like 1-0. And then no more scores. 50 minutes or something. And then it got to the end, 90 minutes. Yeah. And they were like,

oh, we're just going to chuck another 10 minutes up. So I think you've hit it. We've won. No, no, no, no, no. Blow the whistle. We've won this one. Why didn't they chuck another 10 on? Well, they take into account like downtime and stuff at the end.

There must be somebody keeping it. Why don't they pause it? And it's an extra nine minutes, which turned into pretty much an extra 10. Why don't they pause it when they take a stoppage? Good question. I would like that. That would be their preferred option for me too. Like most other sports, right?

Like basketball. Yeah, there was one stage where they were doing a long check with the video. Yep. And they didn't pause it. I'm like, chuck a pause on, baby. If you've got someone keeping track of how much time is wasted during the stoppages, just pause it. Well, exciting stuff and fantastic.

I'll say it. Stupid football. Stupid football. Stupid. Stupid. People are often scared to say that in this day and age, but, you know. Stupid soccer. Stupid soccer. Yeah, right.

Well, we'll take the win. Incredible win. Hell yeah. Congratulations. And the top six are part of that because last night at the game, Prime Minister Chris Hipkins, who must have had an absolute hell of a day. Hell of a day. Hell of a day.

And you're telling me none of his mates wanted to go to the football. Prime Minister Chris Hipkins, who must have had an absolute hell of a day. Hell of a day. And you're telling me none of his mates wanted to go to the football. He was there by himself. I feel like someone was meant to be there, right? Like I was imagining maybe he was meant to be there with the sports minister. Grant Robertson, right? Grant Robertson, who maybe stayed in Wellington when everything went down yesterday. Maybe.

Or maybe he was doing what I vouch for, which is the solo date. No, but there was a seat next to him. Never be afraid. There were seats all around him. No one wants to sit next to the Prime Minister. You're telling me the Prime Minister couldn't whip up a last minute, oh, like, old mate? But also, it was a bad visual.

It made him look, like, really lonely. Yeah, or it made him look, like, isolated. Yeah, like, put people next to him. Like he doesn't have Putin energy, but you know, Putin would watch football by himself. Yeah, 100%. With empty seats all around him, so no one would poison his $12 beer at Eden Park. Exactly. Or sprinkle a little anthrax on his chippies.

But it did make me think, who was meant to be there? So I've got the top six last minute people Chippy should have invited to the football. It's coming up in the top six. Next on the show, though, a new news source for preteens. Where are they getting their news from? How do they learn about current events? Is it not the top of the hour with Sam? It is not the top of the hour on traditional FM broadcast radio.

No, it's not. The 13's not listening to us right now. Well, some are. But it's because they're in the car on their way to some sort of sports training. And a very good morning to you. They're going swimming. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

A dog in the UK has worked out how children are getting their news A dog? He watches things Mostly communication What? It's the UK communication watchdog It's a dog and he just watches how people communicate Right

Very intuitive dog Obviously, yes, yep And he has said, and I assume I will do a voice Real, it's about getting all their news from TikTok. That's how the watchdog speaks. If you're from ages 12 to 15, they were asked whereabouts they're getting their news

from, and it was TikTok. Do you know what? At least they're getting news. I don't think I really cared about the news that much. It's news or news. Well, that's the thing. It's not said news? Well, that's the thing. Both. Or news? Both. It's not said does this have actual

verified... They're not following verified news outlets like Reuters. Well, I believe it's Reuters. I think it is Reuters. I think it's Reuters. You say Reuters, I say Reuters. Just like you say tomato and I say tomato. Yes. And it drives me nuts. I know.

So. Okay, this is scary if what did you say? 12 to 15. 12 to 15. 12 to 15-year-olds, the majority of their news is coming from TikTok followed by YouTube. Slightly more worrying for some reason. I find TikToks are over pretty quick. They could fall down a YouTube rabbit hole.

They could fall down a TikTok rabbit hole. And then Instagram. Oh, okay, this is not good for the world. Yeah, it's not. Does that mention other age groups? Because I'd say it would be very similar, right? Like a lot of people would get the news now from TikTok. Top news sources for adults aged 16 years and over in the UK.

BBC One is top. ITV, Facebook, BBC, BBC, BBC News, BBC Website, BBC Radio. Okay. Because here in New Zealand, like TV One and like TV One News still rates massive, doesn't it? Yeah, it's huge. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, the more traditional media for the older people, but younger people are getting it and just kind of like ingesting it whilst just on TikTok. Because my kids were, oh, that submarine went missing. Yeah. I guess because it was such interesting content that a lot of TikTok was about the submarine. Yeah.

Whenever it would come on the news, they'd tell me something about it that they'd seen on TikTok. Right. Or online before the news person got to that part of the story. Yeah, it's very immediate, isn't it? Yeah. It's like Twitter as well. Yeah. It's not Twitter as well. Yeah.

It's not waiting till. It's also worrying though. Yes. Very worrying. The world's already going, you know, down a rabbit hole. Yeah. I get my news from NZ Herald. Yeah, absolutely.

Traditional newsprint. Yeah. Not online. No. You avoid that. You get the paper every morning. You get the paper every morning. So I use the website, but Fletch genuinely reads the paper every single morning. I read it every morning. And most of the time I'm like, yep, I know that. You get the paper every morning. You get the paper every morning. So I use the website, but Fletch genuinely reads the paper every single morning.

I read it every morning, and most of the time I'm like, yep, I know that. I know that, I read that, I read that. Sometimes you'll get a little tidbit for the show out of it. Back in the day it would have been wild. I mean, there's been radio news, but how wild would it have been? Paper in the morning, news at night. That was the only time. That was it.

Like, yeah. The news on TV. Always watched the news in my household growing up. We always had dinner and watched the news. Yeah. It was six o'clock because it was news time. But now if parents aren't watching news and you're growing up and you're just getting it from TikTok, it's going to be.

Because your parents will be getting it from online, on their phones. Yeah, let's not make it out like the parents of the Holy Grail of where they're getting the news from. Yeah. Have you seen some of the Facebook stories the older generations share? I have, Bourne. Zero. Zero, like, functional journalism involved.

Although I did learn about what's on the other side of the ice wall on the edge of the flat earth. Did you? What's beyond the flat earth. Right. Surrounded by a wall of ice. Okay. I'm going to need you to take three steps backwards on that path that you're on there.

No, no, but it'll blow your mind what's beyond the ice wall. Before you worry what's over the ice wall, we need to discuss the fact that the earth definitely is not flat. Have you seen Game of Thrones? Where did you see this news story? Instagram. What is beyond the ice wall? Now I'm interested. Because I always assumed it was a disc.

It's a disc, nothing. Or the glass dome that's keeping us all in. You just wait until you find out. It'll blow your mind. It'll blow your mind. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now this is straight out of Brown University. Where's that?

Rhode Island. Ah, like, isn't that like near New York? I want to say. Rhode Island, yeah. Rhode Island, New, isn't that like near New York, I want to say? Rhode Island, yeah. Rhode Island, New Jersey. Ivy League Research University. It is ooh-la-la, Brown University. It's a scientific finding, so I'll break it down for the dum-dums.

Okay. I've read the whole thing, and I totally understand it. The whole, the whole whole paper. How they figured this out, what the hypothesis was, what the thesis was, what the parentheses were. Now the parentheses, that's the part between the testicles

and the bum hole. No, that's the perineum. Gotcha. That's the gooch. I follow a bit of science myself. Oh, okay, pleb. That's what the plebs call it. Dumb dumb. I said it. I'm sorry. You said it. Anyway, they were trying to look at elephants. I love an elephant.

They were looking at elephants and what they eat. Yeah. And what they found is, similar to humans, elephants eat something different for dinner every day. Like they have the same conundrum. The pantry. And the argument, like, what are we having for dinner tonight? I don't know. You get what you want.

I don't want that. I've got a can of tomatoes I could do something with, I guess. Oh, no. We had sort of a mince-based thing yesterday. Right. I don't think elephants eat mince. No, they don't. They definitely don't eat mince.

But they, for example, they would be like, I don't want tacos tonight because we had tacos last night. So let's have a spaghetti. No one says that. No, no one says that. I could easily eat tacos every day. I'm going to have tacos today, and I had them on Taco Tuesday. That's twice in a week.

Yeah, good. Why wouldn't I? They were delicious. I've got the sauce already. It's perfect. Perfect. So, yeah, they looked at two groups of elephants in Kenya and followed them for a long time and then used science,

and I won't get into the science they used. Oh, because it's obviously. Oh, it's just going to go over your head. Yeah. Okay. But it's all in the parentheses. They followed them and followed, you know, worked out what they were eating.

And yeah, all the time, they changed their... Like us. Like us. So sometimes they're going for trees. Sometimes they're going for grass. Yeah. Sometimes they're going for plants. Sometimes they're having plants two days in a row

because they've left over plants You said different things But you've just named three plants And one of the plants was plants No but they vary it They vary it Different types of trees Different types of plants

Because that's all they get to eat is plants It just It didn't occur to the scientists That they just kind of ate Whatever they were walking past at the time Which happened to be different plants No but these Elephants stay within one area.

They're not just like roaming the whole time. I thought they were a roaming species. Yeah, but not these guys. They just stay put. They're sort of a... Look, Vaughan, I don't want to get into the whole study. I thought you read the whole thing. I have read the whole thing.

I thought you read the whole thing. I did say you read the whole study. It's all about ecology and environmental studies now you're just saying words evolution I feel like now

you're just saying words for me it comes down to the organismal biology oh does it yeah right obviously organismal biology

isn't that what happens when you touch the perineum well for some people for some people it does and for others it's different 24-6

Next on the show We mentioned this The other day didn't we Nigeria Is on a record A world record Setting Binge

Streak Trend Apparently This is Nigeria in a nutshell Yeah They just do these trends Someone does something

Gets a bit of publicity for it And then they're just All about this trend Until it peters out and they get another one. Well, the trend is to get a Guinness World Record at the moment. That's the trend. I want to talk about a world record a man has attempted and the results of it.

Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We did speak about this. Nigeria is on a ride. They're all on the same train, and that is that they are trying to beat world records. Yeah, it's like a crazy sweep in the country. Yeah.

It's bizarre. And everyone's like, they're just trying to go for random ones. You know, like, I don't have to have any skill. Yeah. I'll give this one a crack. Well, there is a man, his name is Tembu. He is from Nigeria. He himself got on this bandwagon,

and he tried to beat the world record for longest time spent crying nonstop. How is that? How do you cry nonstop? That's hard work. You need a break every now and then. Even when you're crying, if you're grieving, you'll cry, and then you'll have 10 minutes off, and then you'll remember your... Oh, just like numbness, and then you remember what's happened.

And then you're back in, baby. Also, you'd dehydrate yourself, wouldn't you? Yes. So what is the world record for crying nonstop? So he got to seven days, but I don't know... What? I don't know if that includes sleeping. Because a lot of when we talked about this last week of the...

Last week? We were on holiday. I don't know when we talked about it. Earlier in the week it was, yeah. Earlier this last week. Last week? We were on holiday. I don't know when we talked about it. Earlier in the week it was. Earlier in the week. We mentioned that a lot of them aren't doing it legitimately. Like they're not quite meeting the rules or something. So I don't know if he slept or not.

But he did seven days. Or just a fake crying. No, no, no. You've got to be crying. Crying, crying. Yeah, but you're obviously not sad. I know. That or he was just really sad.

And he started like Forrest Gump ran across America three times. Yeah. He just started one day and it went for a long time. And he's like, I'm just going to keep going. And he's like, what did he say at the end? I think I'm done or I think I'm going to stop now. I'm going to stop now. I'm going to go home.

Yeah. Something. Anyway, during it he had intense headaches, a swollen face, and for 45 minutes he lost his sight. Because his eyes were so, like he was so terrible.

So then he said he, at some point he had to re-strategise and reduce his wailing. Yeah. To try to calm it down a little bit. You went blind for 45 minutes. Powered through the tears. Headaches, puffy eyes.

You do get a good headache, but shit, you sleep well after a good cry. I bet he slept for days afterwards. A fat cry. A sob. Anyway, it won't become an official record. Says he didn't actually apply to the Guinness World Records. Oh, okay. So this craze

sweeping the country, people don't seem to know the rules. Yeah, they keep forgetting to let Guinness know. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I mean there's forms to fill out. You've got to record it. What would be the world record for longest time spent crying? Because I wouldn't

even know. You'd have to do something to, like, get going. And for me, like, once I start, I'm good. Like, I can go for a bit. But not seven days. God, no. No, like an hour. Oh, no, it's just all the articles about this. Who broke the world record for crying?

It just can't be more than a day. That seems ridiculous. No. Like, it must be hours, right? And then it's just sobbing and how are you drinking and sobbing and, oh yeah, look, I don't know. He definitely stopped

and he was definitely just going, for some of it, because in 2003, a two-year-old girl named Lainey Brown set the record for crying when she had a 74 minute long crying fit. Look, if we're kind of two year olds in this

I bet there's some, yeah, I was going to say, I bet there's some two year olds, three year olds that have nailed that and their parents are like, I should have just recorded it all. No one hops the record because you take breaks. Yeah. Your tears are not pouring the whole time. Anyway, good attempt, Nigeria.

Try another one. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. I think I've found a little passion for sport again. Yeah, you love jumping on a bandwagon, don't you? I love a bandwagon. Move over. Scooch. Yeah, you love jumping on a bandwagon. I love a bandwagon. Move over.

Scooch up. Vaughn wants on the bandwagon. You're back on the Warriors bandwagon. The Warriors are playing again tonight. That's purely... I've always been a quiet backseat supporter of the Warriors. Yeah. I've always loved my NRL team.

If someone's like, who's your NRL team? I'll say the Warriors, of course. Yes. Who's your NRL team? Up the Waz, bro. Up the Waz. Are you up the Waz too? Yeah. What about you? Are? Up the Waz, bro. Up the Waz. Are you up the Waz too? What about you?

Are you up the Waz? You've got big Tigers energy. Don't tell me you support Melbourne Storm or I will spit on you. He wouldn't dare. He wouldn't dare. He wouldn't dare bring that. He wouldn't dare. Who my favourite players are.

You've got to up the Waz. Yeah, up the Waz. Up the Waz. We've got to up the Waz. You're always up the Waz. We've got a couple of cut Up the whas. We'll go up the whas. We'll always up the whas. We'll get a couple of cuties. Got a real couple of cuties. Is Sean Johnson still playing?

Sean Johnson is not only playing, I would say he's playing some of the best footy of his life. He's a hottie. He had a child last Friday. Yep. And then went and played. And played on Sunday. He's a great man.

I mean, Kayla did all the pushing, but he was like a hell of a time. Yeah. Hell of an emotional time, and he got out there and he did it. So the Waz, I'm back on the Waz, that line tonight, and I'm also digging this football ferns outfit. I'm on board for this World Cup. You like the actual uniform.

That's a bit sexist, isn't it? Yeah, well, they're wearing a pretty dress, are they? What? I didn't say, well, it just sounded a bit. The outfit. No, no, no, I mean the outfit isn't like the group the team We're talking about

more than fashion It just sounded a little pervy I didn't mean the outfit You like the netball outfits as well I love You love them do you?

Well if we're talking favourite we could do this for Friday rankings hottest Sports uniforms The hockey team's got the hottest uniforms

We've done hottest sports people We've just haven't done hottest sports uniforms Swimmers just haven't done hottest sports uniforms. Swimmers and volleyballers. Women's hockey. Especially the Dutch. We don't have time to talk about this.

I am talking about the football ferns and how fantastic they are. And last night they won at Eden Park. And it's the first time they've won a game in a football World Cup. Yep. And first time 40,000 people have watched a live football event in New Zealand, regardless of gender of those players. That's incredible. Beautiful.

It's really good. They hung on throughout that whole match. 1-0. Dude, when they scored the goal, absolute smoke of a goal. That was incredible, yeah. We should interview some of them, I reckon. We should get a couple of them in the studio. Yep.

Do you want which one? Any favourites? Just like some with like short hair or whatever. You've got a crush on something, do you? Far out, man. Have you got a little girly crush? It was in the background at the pub last night, and I was like, who dat?

Who dat? Who dat? Who dat? Yeah, they're going to be household names by the end of it. Hannah Wilkinson, that's who you want to come in. CJ Bott, I like because her name's Bott. That made me laugh. Anyway, one thing I noticed about the football last night,

and it shouldn't have stuck with me as much as it did, but it did, and I mentioned it this morning, and you guys both noticed it as well. Chris Hipkins alone at the football. They kept cutting to the Prime Minister. Obviously, it's great that the Prime Minister's supporting the team. He's there by himself. Were the seats around him a buffer so that the public didn't, like,

approach him or bother him? I didn't like that either. No, but, like, at least put someone with him. It was weird. They were supposed to have a whole entourage, and they all pulled out last minute. But there were buffer seats around him. Today was a horrible day.

Horrible day. I'm surprised he went. I took the hat for even going after what he'd been dealing with after the incident in downtown Auckland yesterday. I wonder if people that were meant to be there weren't because of that. They had other things. Yeah, they had other things. And he's like, I've got to put on an appearance.

I'm the Prime Minister. I've got to be doing it. Well, I've got the top six last minute invites for Chippy at the football. And number six on the list, that old mate from uni that obnoxiously wore a Tottenham shirt and talked about the Premier League all the time. We all had one. I mean, there's only one team I care about, and it's Wrexham,

and that's only because the devilishly handsome Ryan Reynolds and Rob Backley are attached to it now. Other than that, is David Beckham still playing? What happened to Wayne Rooney? I don't care. Number five on the list are the top six last-minute invites for Chippy at the football. Some backbencher Labour MP you haven't heard of that hasn't done anything in their time in Parliament,

like, I don't know, Glenn Bennett from New Plymouth. Been in Parliament three years. Ever heard of him? I'm a huge Glenn Bennett girl. You're a big Glenn Bennett guy. Yeah, you're a GB. I'm a GB. You're a GBB.

Yeah. You're a GB babe. Never heard of him. Okay. He's been in since 2020. Never heard of him. You don't hear of a lot of backbenchers. Yeah. Could have done something. Yeah. Your GB babe. Never heard of him. Okay. He's been in this since 2020. Never heard of him. You don't hear of a lot of backbenchers. Yeah.

Could have done something. Okay. You know. Yeah. Why didn't he do something? He could have gone. Yeah, you're right. He could have gone to the football.

He was probably free. Who's that with Chippy? And then I would have known about him. Yep. After three years. Number four on the list of the top six last minute invites for Chippy at the football. Ex-wife up to anything? Oh, okay.

I don't know if that would be a lot of fun. He said they've remained very good friends. Oh. So they could go to a football match together. Get a babysitter?

Yeah. But they don't live in Auckland, do they? No. So, yeah. No. And the flight up would be expensive.

Yeah. Yeah. I could have driven. Number three on the list of the top six last minute invites for Chippy at the football. Speaking of families, four-year-old daughter Isabel,

who could probably use a positive female sports role model. Yeah. But again, lives in Wellington. Lives in Wellington. Wasted ticket. Four years old. Oh, no, she's four. She's not even at school.

Get her out of kindy. Get her out of kindy today. Have an elderly day. She needed an afternoon nap, though. She would have been very tired by the end of things. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six last minute invites for Chippy at the football. Heard of Jonas Gastor?

No. No. Norwegian Prime Minister. Also of the Labour Party. Was the Norwegian Prime Minister here though? No. Oh, okay. Right.

But he could have. Yeah, could have been. And then you would have had that. Don't tell me this was a surprise to him that his female football team were playing in a World Cup in New Zealand. Very feminist country. And then you would have had that great shot with the two prime ministers and he's all sad and we're all happy.

Yeah, it would have been great. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six last-minute invites for Chippy at the football. Jacinda. She lives a couple of hundred metres down the road. She literally, yeah, she could have walked. They could have had pre-drinks at hers.

They could have pre-loaded. Yeah, because stadium drinks are so expensive. They didn't want the plastic warm bottles of wine. No, no, no, she could have walked. They could have had pre-drinks at hers. They could have pre-loaded. Yeah, because stadium drinks are so expensive. They didn't want the plastic warm bottles of wine. No, no, no, no. Like, just get a 12-pack of long whites. Yep. She's got those in the fridge already, so he arrives. They hoon a few of those.

Six each. Yeah. Vortec-y for old time's sake. Yeah. And then Clark puts Niamh to bed, and Jacinda and Chippy are at the bloody footy. Having a hell of a time. Probably kicking on. Yeah. A few more beers at the stadium footy. Having a hell of a time. Probably kicking on.

Yeah. A few more beers at the stadium. Walk down to King's Island, hit one of the pubs. Why not pop up to the pub up? King's Island? Yeah. Great idea. And then catch an Uber home because Sandringham Road's a long road to walk down.

And once I was bitten by two children. You were. That's a dangerous, dangerous part of town. That is today's Top 6. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Sorry, I just took a sip of water and it's done wrong hole. That's the second time this morning you've done wrong hole.

There's only one hole though, right? Like we always say wrong hole. No, there's a breathing hole. There's a little bit. There's a breathing, I thought it was two holes. There's one hole. Is there one hole? How do you breathe?

Block your nose and in your mouth, that's one hole, but at some stage it separates to the stomach and to the lungs. I don't know how it works. Come on, it's common sense. How many holes? Otherwise, every time you drink, you'd be like. Sometimes you may swallow and cough because something went down the wrong pipe. The body has two pipes.

Two pipes. The trachea, which is your windpipe, and your esophagus, which is your tummy pipe. So it went down the wrong pipe. Went body has two pipes. Two pipes. The trachea, which is your windpipe, and your esophagus, which is your tummy pipe. So it went down the wrong pipe. Went in my windpipe. Oh no, you silly goose.

But that's given me enough time and it's cleared. I want to talk about mariage. Marriage is, what's the, what's the,

marriage is, you just, what's the movie? Four Weddings and a Funeral. No, no, Princess Bride, isn't it? What's the, marriage is Weddings and a Funeral. No. No. Princess Bride, isn't it? What's the...

Malwich is... I can't remember. What is it? Disney movie? Is it animated? I don't know. It's Princess Bride. It is Princess Bride.

Yeah. Malwich is the something or other. Anyway. This is from the something psychology... The Thriving Centre of Psychology out of New York. They've done a study looking at how young. Thriving. Oh, thriving is the name of the person, not like they're thriving.

What? It's the name of the centre. The Thriving Centre. Yeah. Yeah. Thriving Centre of Psychology. But I'm saying is the centre itself thriving? Like where we're thriving, not surviving?

Or the name of the person who established it was thriving? No, I'm not saying that it's thriving. I don't know if the Centre of Psychology is thriving or not, but that's in the name. They found that young adults, two in five young adults, think marriage is an outdated tradition. Not for it anymore. Couldn't give a toss. And

the majority of them are women. Wow, okay. Yeah. It is, okay. Yeah. It is, yeah. I mean, it is because it's religious, right? The whole thing. Well, it was all legal and religious. It was basically a peace treaty back in the day. Like, if we were three wealthy landowning individuals

and we felt that Hayley was eyeing up our land and would take it by force. You and I would say, well, my son will marry your daughter. And now we are in a unity. But your son's a minger. I know he's a minger. He's such a minger. I know he's a minger.

He's his mother's son. He's a real minger. I don't want to marry that minger. No, I know he's a minger. Oh, now I'm going to have minger children. Yeah, well, that's it. But the minger children will have this land. I'm going to have children with the farm boy. And that was like, hmm? Oh, no,'m going to have minga children. Yeah, well, that's... But the minga children will have this land. I'm going to have children with the farm boy.

And that was like... Oh, no, not a commoner. You can't have... Yeah, and that's what I'm going to do. I always remember reading an article about arranged marriage, like modern arranged marriage. Yeah. And people are like, oh, it's a...

Traditionally, you think of arranged marriage, you think more of like the Asian continent, India and such. It's still everywhere around the world with rich families being like, no, no, you've got to marry that person from that rich family because otherwise our wealth is going to disappear to the plebs and the peasants. Far out. And that's all it ever really

was. And then the church got involved because basically the same thing. Keep the money within our ranks, keep the land within our ranks, keep the property Keep the money within our ranks. Keep the land within our ranks. Keep the property and the power

within our ranks. But now, for most people... But oh my God, the happiest day of my life. If I might say. The most expensive, the single most expensive

day of my life. Yeah. Even like when buying a house, I needed less money for that one day for a deposit than I did for a wedding. The single most expensive day of my life.

Yeah. And the happiest. But it's all tied into power play bullshit. But I loved it and I don't regret it. Well, that's a huge part of it. Three and four millennials and Gen Zers say it's too expensive to tie the knot. Because I want to get married and I don't know it's too expensive to tie the knot. And it's just, you just don't care. I mean, because I want to get married and I don't know why.

I couldn't tell you why. I'm not religious and I don't really care about the legal stuff. And this day is literally a day. No, but we're going to have a wedding that has not that much attention. No, but Vaughn and I will be there, so there'll be a bit of attention. We just need to talk about the guest list because it's just going to be family. It's just going to be about four or five people. Do I get a plus three? To my

exclusive family only wedding. Yeah, I need a plus three. No kids. I need a plus three. No kids. It's just my mates. I just thought I... Well, you're bringing the lads. I'm bringing the lads. I thought we could party. We could have bring the gays too. All of them. So Fletch is going to need a plus 15. Fuck out.

The gays are like a herd creature. The gays are the lads, but none of my best friends. No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, they can come if they want, but that's up to you. Yeah, I don't know why, because we're 12 years together, we're already legally completely married, basically. It is weird, it is weird, because you are basically married. Yeah, I'm not going to change my name.

Nah. I don't know why. Your collective debt is already ours. Forever linking. Yeah. Amen. Far out. We shook hands the other day because we were talking about people who had broken up and

we were looking at our debt and renovation and we shook hands and said, we're not going to do it. We're not going to break up. You shook hands. Yeah, mate. Somethingly stay together just so that you don't have to. That's why he's allowed me a female lover. To take a lover.

And that's why she's bruising the football ferns. I know. Squirtless right now trying to make a pick. I just saw a girlfriend though. I'm upset. I'm gutted. I have my DM already to slide. Wait, so you didn't know this football fern existed until yesterday and now you're really upset.

Yeah, but she ran there like arms abroad. That she can't be your female lover because she's been with someone for two years. Wait, and Aaron's going to let you have a female lover?

Yeah. Wow. Whatever keeps us happy cannot break up. It's a hell of a time to be auditioning female lovers with this many

football players in the country. Do you reckon they're working out at Les Mills? Yeah, because they're certainly not working out at wherever Vaughan goes, that purple one. Excuse me, why couldn't they work out at Anytime Fitness?

It is a worldwide fitness brand. They may have just bought their key tag. It's got like four dumbbells and two treadmills. They may have bought their key tag with them from Norway to use at a local Anytime, and that you can do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. TikTok is blowing up with the Scandinavian sleep method,

which is same bed with your lover, your partner, your wife, your husband, your whatever. Und schnapps? Und schnapps? Und schnapps? Ja, und schnapps. Giant teddy bear?

You missed out teddy bear. Ja, the peach schnapps. Giant teddy bear. You missed out teddy bear. Yeah, the peach schnapps, the teddy bear. Yeah. Whatever you want. Different duvets. That's the Scandinavian sleep method. Is this just Scandinavian or is this, because I've seen this in Europe when I've travelled before,

you'll get a bed in your hotel room and there'll be two duvets on it. Maybe, maybe it's just a European thing as well. I think Germany does this. I've had this in Germany. I think I'd lose a single duvet on a big bed. Yeah, I need to be able to tug it off of Aaron and leave him cold. Exactly. One of the moonies to have this giant thing. Yes.

Apparently it's like so that you can still stay romantic and cuddly and whatnot, but you're not going to have any of the kind of, I don't know, like heat struggles or duvet struggles or anything like that. Because if you want to do a half off and they want to be absolutely cocooned in it, then they can. That's us.

But then visually, when you make the bed, it looks ugly. You need one duvet over the top. You have two duvets and then sort of a real thin thing over the top to bind the bed together? Like a quilt. Yeah, I think some people do, but I saw it like on TikTok, a real like trendy looking one where someone had used like two beautiful soft linen single duvets that were the same duvet. Right. And then had it all kind of messy looking.

So you could barely tell. Right. But yeah, for me, the aesthetics. Like for me, the aesthetics, like for me, the bedroom, like I love to make a bed, you know, and I want to put a thing and I want to put this, like it's all about the aesthetics of a bed. Yeah.

The bed itself is almost irrelevant to how you dress the bed. But people are saying it's like, it'll prevent things like sleep divorces where then, you know, like Nana and Papa are sleeping in separate rooms. Doesn't stop snoring though and that's one of the main reasons. Yeah, that is one of the main things. I'm reading an article here, the pros of the Scandinavian sleep method.

Pro, cocooning in your blanket. That's where you can get it all the way around you. You can't do that on both sides in a shared duvet. No, because you've got to give some of it to the partner. Yeah, you can like get around one of your sides but not both. No, stealing the blankets because you give some of it to the partner. Yeah, you can get around one of your sides, but not both. No stealing the blankets, because you've only got yourself to steal from. Adjusting for differences in temperature,

because some people run hot and some people run cold. But the cons were no top sheet. Yeah, and I like a top sheet. You've got to have a top sheet. Because otherwise your duvet gets too muggy. You've got to wash your duvet all the time. It's harder to wash your duvet. Yeah, and making the bed is trickier. That was the other con. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's harder to wash your duvet. Yeah, and making the bed is trickier.

That was the other con. Yeah, right. Yeah, just another blanket to put on. Yeah. But I suppose like if you, because like Aaron's very hot in the bed, you know, and then like I will get cold. You know, like the temperature thing would be good because you could have a thicker duvet or a thinner duvet.

But then it's harder to snuggle as well. I know because then you've kind of got to get under there. Yeah, then you're in the gap, slip into the gap. Yeah. Duvet or a thinner duvet. But then it's harder to snuggle as well. I know, because then you're in your individual. Kind of got to get under there. And then you're in the gap. Yeah. Slip into the gap. Yeah. You know when you're at a hotel and it's like a twin room

and then they've just jammed them together to make a king bed? There's always the gap. There's a giant gap. Yeah. But if it's one duvet, you can like scooch over and push it up against their butt. But if everybody's got their own duvet, they could just roll on it and close it up for business, you know?

Yeah. Otherwise they'll boarded up the shop. Well, look, give it a go if you think that you're having some sleep troubles with your partner. Well, yeah, if your partner's a duvet stealer, this would absolutely be the way to go. BYO duvet. Yeah. Because if you had a queen bed, would you just get two doubles? It would be two.

No, just two big singles. Two big singles. Two big singles. Two king singles. Yeah. And if you had a king, maybe, yeah, two doubles. Or a super king, Kelly king. No, because the double wouldn't be the right length for a king.

Oh, yeah, doubles are shorter. Yeah. What are the Europeans? There's no two king singles. There's no cheap way to trial this. Because you have to try it. You have to do it. Well, you could probably just unwrap them at Briscoe's, right,

and get on the bed and just try it out. Have a hoon on the bed and just try it out. Have a hoon on the bed. What about if you went to a hotel and you pre-ring and said, I need this set up Scandinavian style? I'd do that for you. Yes, can I have this? When I arrive, may the bed be set up Scandinavian. Because they have those beds, like you said, pushed together,

so surely they have all the individual... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the right way. Or go to Scandinavia like on holiday and try it out that's what I want to do now yeah

seems expensive seems a little expensive the whole thing seems expensive to be fair today final rankings We do this every Friday We just rank our favourite things It's normally food based

Dessert pies Which I don't normally go Pie dessert pie I'll be honest I just remembered Lemon meringue pie Dude I just remembered Lemon meringue pie

And key lime Key lime This just got harder Apple pie and key lime. Key lime. This just got harder. Apple pie. See, I'll always go a chocolate mud cake over any of these pies. Yeah, that's a cake. You can't. Don't bring your cakes.

I'm sorry. You're bringing a bloody. I'm sorry. You can't bring a cake in here. I just found Delish.com's article called Our 50 Easy Pie Recipes, and I'm just scooting through 50 dessert pies. So am I. Keyland pie.

I mean, pumpkin pie has no place in this. No. Get out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because there's a place that me and Aaron love going to dinner. We've all been there. More pork. Yep.

Beautiful. They do pies. And Aaron told me once. Because they're like American, aren't they? American style meat and stuff. Yeah. Aaron told me that once I was away. They're like American, aren't they? American style meat and stuff. Aaron told me that once I was away. He was sad. He missed me. It was raining. He drove to this

place for dinner and he ordered two pies. And he ate yours. Two slices of pie. Two slices of pie. It's a real American thing to go to a diner and have a slice of pie. He got them to take away and then he sat in their car park and ate them in the truck.

Oh my gosh. Did he cry? Did he have Dido's white flag playing on the It's honestly the saddest thing. I will go down with this ship.

I will put my hands up and surrender. I'll go first because I think I've got mine. I'm going to go number one is banoffee. Banoffee pie is my number one dessert in all time. Yeah.

Then I'm going lemon meringue, number two. And I think number three, I've got to go apple. I want to say key lime, but I don't think I mean apple. Apple's a classic. It goes with everything. Apple would be the only one out of those you mentioned I'd even want to eat. You don't like banoffee? I'm not a huge fan of cheesecakes and dessert

pies. I'm not a big fan of you. Can I do dessert churros? No! They're not pies! What about churro pie? You can't make up a pie. It's got to be a classic pie. No, it's churro pie. Classic! It's a slice of

churro. I'll hear you out. If you can convince me that this is a worker. It's doughy. Doughy. No one wants a pie that's doughy. It's got to be crustyro. I'll hear you out. If you can convince me that this is a worker. It's doughy. Doughy. No one wants a pie that's doughy. It's got to be crusty. No one wants a super doughy churro. You want your churro to crunch and the sugar to fall down your chin. I'm sorry.

I tried to make up a pie. You can't make up a pie. You sure did. I just had churros the other night and they were delicious. Yum. But shut up. Yeah, shut up. Okay, I'll just go apple pie.

I don't care about the others. Pecan pie? No, I don't like pe apple pie. I don't care about the others. Pecan pie? No, I don't like pecan pie. You don't like lemon meringue pie. It's all right. We'll put it in your list. I'll go lemon meringue two if I have to, and that's it.

I'm only doing two today. You're not doing banoffee? I've got to do a top five. I can't do a top three. It's top three. I want to hear it. Lemon meringue. Number one.

And at five. Oh, at five, okay. Four want to hear it. Lemon meringue. Number one. And at five. Oh, at five, okay. Four, banoffee. Okay. Three, key lime. Yum. And it's only because you never see a good, you never see key lime pie when you have it. It's this beautiful, like, tangy.

The limey part's almost like cheesecake-y. It's got this, like, crumbly biscuit base. Sometimes they put a little drizzle or something over the top. Yeah. Key lime pie. Number two, pecan pie. Yep, okay. That rules.

It's got to be super sticky, crunchy bits of the pecan, but the stickiness of the raisins, sultanas, or the gooeyness of the caramel bit that they'll put in there. Yum. And the doughy, flaky puff pastry pie.

But number one, just for its versatility, it's got to be an apple pie with a crumble top. Yeah, it's got to be classic. With a crumble top, more than pastry top. Yeah, more than a pastry top. But yeah, always crumble top. Yeah, crumble top, I agree.

Pastry bottom, fluffy pie, puffy pie. Are there sultanas in your apple crumble? Sometimes people put a big juicy salty in there. Sometimes I just feel like I know them, and then it's like, who is this person? Cinnamon and salt. No, they do. Next he's going to be putting

cold minted garden peas in our summer salad. Oh. Raisins and minted peas. Peas. You know I hate peas. He'll be making a jelly salad next. I hate peas.

Apple pie crumbly top. Okay, yeah. That's number one. What's number two? It's got to be banoff. Lemon meringue? No, lemon meringue's number two. It featured on all of Benoff. No, I know. Lemon meringue's number two. It featured on all of our lists.

And then Benoff. Benoff is such a sweet light. Maybe third equal. Key lime Benoff. Yeah. Yeah, because key lime would be my four. Key lime would be four. Yeah.

Or I'm willing to lemon meringue second equal with key lime. Oh, no, no. I'm willing to go Benoff is second. Key lime and lemon citrusy third equal. Key lime's not as popular in New Zealand. It, no, no. I'm willing to go banoffee second, key lime and lemon citrusy third equal. Key lime's not as popular in New Zealand. It's not, but it should be. It's because it's hard to make. It's hard to make a good one. Right.

Are the people chiming in? Don't forget pecan pie. We haven't forgotten. Pumpkin pie, we said get out. No, we told you to get your pumpkin pie and get it out of here. That's a vegetable. Apple and rhubarb pie. Eh. Oh, my cousin has a pie shop in Hamilton,

and they have a pie that would suit Fletch. It's a brownie pie. Oh, yeah. Okay, now we're talking. It's a chocolate brownie as a pie. Yeah, okay, now we're talking. Choc-fig walnut pie. We're only taking classics.

Now, someone did mention a custard pie, and we know that you love a custard. No, but that's a square. No. No, it's a custard. It's similar love a custard. Is that? No, but that's a square. No. It's a custard. It's similar to a custard square. But it's not layered pastry. It's a pastry crust custard.

And like a short crust pastry, not a flaky pastry. Right, okay. Because it's only the icing that gets me with the custard square. That's why I like those. You like that one. What's a sugar pie?

I think that's just where you pour sugar into a... Into a tart. Pastry. And it just melts. Gobble it up. Yeah, it pretty much is. Katie Price, who's like a glamour model, you know, like.

What is Katie Price? A product of the early 2000s. Yeah. That's a... I mean, what happened nowadays? Huh? I don't know. She was dating Peter Andre.

They were married. They were married. Yeah. Probably had a kid or two. I can't remember. Anyway, Katie Price, a couple of years ago, she absolutely nearly died. Really?

Okay. She had a horrendous accident, a massive fall, and she totally shattered both of her legs. Terrible. Everyone was like, oh my god, awful. Not a lot of detail around it. Now recently she's just been on a podcast and they were like, what happened?

And she explained that she was pretending to be a horse. She's being silly. She's pretending to be a horse and then she tried to do a jump over a bush and then fell 20 feet. What? She was jumping over a hedge or a bush that was on a cliff?

She jumped over a bush that was sort of like, it was in the dark and jumped over a bush and then she fell into like an underground car park which was 20 feet below, shattering her legs. 20 feet's about seven metres. Six, seven metres, yeah. What's that, like two stories?

Yeah. Wow. And she didn't want to say it at the time because it was like so embarrassing because, you know, everyone was like, oh, she's had this horrendous fall, she nearly died, and she was like, yeah. I was pretending to be a horse. And jump over a hedge. And then I was thinking about our friend and comedian Brinley Stent,

who just recently absolutely obliterated her arm, because she was acting the goat on the set of Shaun Street. Yeah. And then there was a dog there and it ran around a corner and she was like, I'm going to run around that corner too, and she ran around and slipped over and landed on her wrist and like full blown. Like, cracked it.

Yeah, full came apart sort of situation. And you know it's so, like you know those times where you've been like acting the go and being silly and then you've like smacked your head or whacked your foot.

It's the worst time to hurt yourself. I know. Because all eyes are on you. And your mum saying, well you should have been showing off. Yeah.

You've been acting the go and you've been being silly. Are you happy now? Because you were just being silly weren't you? You were showing off. Yeah. Or when you're sort of

like running around trying to get attention then you slip and you land on your ass and then you've got to pretend like it didn't hurt but you're like try it. It's fine. It's funny. It's funny.

Did you guys get a video of it? Did it look cool? So I thought we could take some calls, get some messages in of when you were being silly and then hurt yourself. Yes. Brilliant. Absolutely smacked yourself. Maybe you were like being a dick and then you broke something. Like Katie Price, who honestly. Has been lying for years about how she hurt herself.

Well, just maybe just not saying how. Well, just sort of, like, kept it under wraps that she was, in fact, cantering like a horse. Like a horse, pretending to jump a hedge. Yeah, because that's not a very cool story, is it? Okay, so when were you being silly and hurt yourself? Yeah, be it major or minor. We would love to hear your stories this morning. 0800 dials at MSN number, text through

9696 and if it's embarrassing, well we can share. We can revel in your shame. Yeah, 0800 dials at M. When did you hurt yourself when you were being a silly billy? Anyway, we're talking about when you were being a silly, acting the goat, showing off, and then you hurt yourself. Katie Price has revealed that when she shattered her legs in an accident in which she fell 20 feet,

it was because she was pretending to be a horse. We talked about our friend Brinley was being silly and she absolutely cracked her arm in half. And we've asked for your calls and texts. How many of these are when people are drunk? Yeah, probably. Because you know that A&Es get so busy've asked for your calls and texts. How many of these are when people are drunk? Yeah, probably. Because you know that A&Es get so busy on Friday and Saturdays and Sundays. No, most of the texts we're getting are like kids who believe they're bulletproof. Oh, really?

Yeah. You know, when you're a kid, you're bulletproof until the moment you're absolutely not bulletproof. Yeah. My friends were swinging me like a skipping rope. Oh, that's not a good sign. I've seen this done. What you need is a long one person on each end. Yeah.

A long, thin, three. And then on flexible person. No, no, they were just doing the whole round. On three, you put them in the pool, right? No, not when you're doing the skipping rope, because you're thinking of the one, two, three. You're swinging them like a pendulum. This one, where they swing you and you go right round.

I'm already like, of course you're going to get hurt. Yeah, so they let me go. And of course, your natural reaction is to try to land safely. And I landed on both of my wrists. That was all. And broke them both. Ouch. My natural reaction would be to try to fly.

Amber, what was your accident when you were playing up? So me and a couple of friends were having, you know, girls one night, dancing some Taylor Swift. Stunning. Had probably too many wines, and my friend's giving me a bit of a lap dance, you know, just girls are when they're drunk, dancing around. We do?

Yeah. She sort of gave me too much of a lap dance and fell on the glass of wine that was in my hand. Smashed the glass and it went through my hand. Oh, babe! Wait, did it went through my hand. Oh, babe! Wait, did it go through her ass as well? Like, it was... No, yeah, amazingly, it wasn't as much injury

as you thought there would have been, but my hand was pretty damaged. She ended up cutting a tendon and... Oh, dude. Oh, my God. Dude, I've seen that. I've seen that. Just from a pretending showing off lap dance.

Yeah. How embarrassing. We were obviously too drunk to do anything about it so my friends duct taped a cloth into my hand

because that seemed illogical at the time and then we had to go to the A&E the next morning and explain to them what happened. The next morning,

so I'm sorry, you cut through a tendon and the next morning you, oh my God. And obviously at the time they're like, why did you not come last night? And we had to

you know, obviously we weren't going to call an ambulance. Can you smell me? That's why. Pretty much. Amber, thanks for your call. Mal, this is a friend. When did they hurt themselves being silly? So we were down at like a public event at a park and

there were some kids throwing some stuff around. I can't remember what it was, but anything. Anyway, something got stuck up a tree she was like oh i'll go save it probably a vortex yeah i don't know it was something mega how i'm gonna go i can't remember it was years ago um but yeah the security guy came along was like no you can't do that get down get down she's like no no i got, I got this. I got this. I can climb up here. It's easy. Oh, no. And the security sort of stood at the bottom and was like, you know,

like, no, get down. She kept going, kept going. Showing off. I think she got it down. And then she went to turn around and fell out of the train. She got herself down. How bad was she hurt? So she dusted it off at the time,

but like months later after, the things were still really sore. I think she ended up with like a cracked pelvis. So she had like two months of a cracked pelvis. Months and months. It didn't go away. She thought it would just get better, and it just sort of didn't,

or it got worse. And then, yeah, it ended up being something quite bad. We get shown off all out of a tree. Yeah, Mel, thanks you. Call some messages in.

When we were 15 years old we went egging. Me and two friends we were egging a house. We were running away. A friend who was faster ran past me and ankle tapped me.

To this day they said it was accidental but I didn't feel it. I ate shit, knocked myself out, ended up with a wild concussion. Ankle tapping is so bad I hate it

It's the worst Yeah If you got caught You'd have to be like I was chasing the eggers Yeah I was trying to get them Off your property man I saw them egging

And I chased the eggers And I slipped over And I fell There's so many This one's so I just saw this one That really made me laugh Snuck into the Kawaroa Baths

In New Plymouth Kawaroa yeah A friend went down The hydro slide So this is after hours A friend went down The hydro slide this one that really made me laugh. Snuck into the Kawaroa Baths in New Plymouth. Kawaroa, yeah. Friend went down the hydro slide. So this is after hours. Friend went down the hydro slide. This is going back. This would have been the outside hydro slide when it was there. Head first. Knocked all of his front teeth out on the side of the pool. He's

50 now and still has heft teeth. Lot of teeth. Lot of teeth getting knocked out. I was running around the lounge and showing off in front of some family friends that we had around. I was told not to. And then I stood on a newspaper and slipped, smacked my head face first into the bottom rail of the ranch. So I knocked out three front teeth. I didn't grow back for seven years.

And mum would have said it. I told you. I told you. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Yesterday, on the way home, I stopped to get some chicken food. The chickens, all 10 of the new chickens are alive and well, and they've got a name.

They've named, August got to name them after her favourite Stranger Things characters. That's right. I was really hoping you'd name them after former prime ministers. Yeah. Next time. Next time. Next batch, once you kill all of these ones. Yeah, once these ones all

Die of chicken related Ailments and illnesses So yeah they've all got They've all got coloured leg bands And Stranger things names Okay So we're feeding them

And we're running out of food So I stopped to get some more chicken food Yep At the local chicken food place Are they like the pellets The pellets I tell you what I think I might be going back to pellets

I treated them to some sunflower seeds and a bit of a real lovely mix. It's doubled in price. Right. Doubled. Since the egg shortage, well I like everything, but like the egg shortage and all the stuff and do we get lots of stuff

from the, wasn't wheat stuff by Ukraine and Russia conflict? Drove that up. Russia's kind of shut that off now again. Doubled in price. So I feel like I'm going to be downgrading them to a more budget friendly chicken feed. Chef.

And so, chef. Jelly man. You can feed chickens over winter. If they need like a protein boost, you can feed them dog roll. Wouldn't it have chicken in it? You'd probably aim for a dog roll without chicken in it. More of a pork-based dog roll.

Or just mystery meat. Or tuna. Mystery protein. Or tuna? I reckon chickens would eat each other, though. You reckon? They're delicious. They're one of the best meats.

Yeah. I can see where they would. Wait till they find out. I can see that. What is this? What am I eating? It's the wing, bro. Just eat it.

What's the sticky sauce on it? It's incredible. Don't ask too many questions. Eleven, just eat what was Vecna. Yeah. Those are two's the wing, bro. Just eat it. What's the sticky sauce on it? It's incredible. Don't ask too many questions. Eleven, just eat what was Vecna. Yeah. Those are two of the chicken's names. Of course. And so I order the chicken, order the chicken food.

And so you order it, you pay for it, and then you go to another place and you ring a bell and they bring you out your chicken food. Okay. At this place. Out of it like a mystery door or something. No, out the back. We're all, it's all stacked up. A mystery door. Behind a magical curtain. But what else comes through? It's in the back of a mystery door or something. No, out the back where it's all stacked up. A mystery door.

Behind a magical curtain. But what else comes through? It's in the back of a wardrobe. Is there a lion? There's a lion in there and there's a witch with a penchant for Turkish delights. And the guy goes, G'day, mate. And I'm like, how are you? And I'm like, just a sack of chicken feet.

He's like, oh, yeah? Haven't seen you on TV lately. You've been fired, have you? That was intro, bag of chicken feet. Oh, yeah? Haven't seen you on TV lately. You've been fired, have you? That was intro, bag of chicken feet. Oh, yeah, haven't seen you on TV. You've been fired. Oh, yeah, that TV show got cancelled. And he went, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, shit, eh? Oh. And laughed at you. Yeah. Brutal. Yeah. And admittedly laughing at me. It was like, yeah, laughing at everybody.

Because for those that don't know, have you been paying attention? Canned. Canned. Canned. Great Kiwi Bake Off. Delayed. Delayed. Who have I upset?

Kiwi Bake Off. That's kind of pushed it into the doldrums, isn't it? I really regret getting drunk and telling the commissioner a piece of my mind. You said this would backfire. I did. And remember I said it's time to go now. And then we left. Yeah.

Bugger it. That was what. So now I'm getting dragged into the Hayley Sproul problem. Yeah. She's lippy. She bit her tongue. What, did they can me off seven days? I mean, it's all over.

For a little bit. Yeah. So Bake Off's delayed till next year. Bake Off is delayed till next year, January next year. Stay tuned. Well, they paid for it, Off's delayed till next, but it is going to be on till next year. Bake Off's delayed till next year, January next year. Stay tuned. Well, they paid for it, right? They made it.

They might as well put it on TV. Well, they might. You know what would be great, though? Bury it. Bury it on a weeknight at 10.30. Yeah, in summer. That's good stuff. But anyway, he laughed.

And I don't know why, but I just laughed. I laughed too. And then we just both laughed. It's not funny. It's not funny. Walked out of the know why, but I just laughed too. And then we just both laughed. It's not funny. It's not funny. Walked out of the car laughing and then I got in the car and I drove away and I was just like, I don't know why that made me feel better. Big laugh dip for losing jobs.

Yeah. He was like, laughed and I laughed and I'm off home. Oh, no, that's why I was laughing when I drove away. He said, oh, well, more time to feed the chickens. Now, that's sort of like a euphemism for playing with yourself, isn't it? Is it? I'm not trying to feed the chooks. Yeah, because you feed, when you scare a chicken.

Oh, you toss them. I've never heard that before. And when he said, more time to feed the chickens, I cracked up laughing. This was just before I left, and he blanked me. So I don't think he knew. What do you mean? Which is ironic that he feeds, sells chicken chicken food and he's never come across the saying feeding the chooks.

It is. See, the hand gesture used is reminiscent of a farm handing out feed to the chooks. Chook, chook, chook, chook, chook, chook, chook. And I laughed and I drove away laughing, but he blanked. Now I want to know why he thought I was laughing. If I get so much joy from the chickens that it just brings me immediate laughter. Yeah.

I don't know, man. Anyway, it was fun. It was a good day. He brutally roasted you. He laughed and then didn't get the joke when I laughed. And he probably, when he went back and started, was like, God, no wonder they cancelled that TV show. Those jokes don't even make sense. So I was going to say the Cricket World Cup.

Wrong sport. Women's FIFA is happening at the moment. It was an incredible win last night. So good. The first time that the New Zealand women's football team have won a World Cup game. A World Cup final game, yep. The crowd was the first time that the New Zealand women's football team have won a World Cup game. A World Cup final game, yep. The crowd was the largest. The first time, yeah, any football game in New Zealand

has had over 40,000 people attending the live game. So that's even more than like a Phoenix game or a New Zealand men's game. Only just. Yeah. Come on, of course. Of course. No offence. Yeah, no offence.

No offence. But yeah. 32 years. Some of those. Yeah, no offence. No offence. But yeah. 32 years. Some of those Phoenix games can be very popular, but I guess Wellington just doesn't hold as much as Aiden. Looks popular. It looks like a lot of people are wearing yellow, but that's just the colour of the seats in Wellington.

Oh, okay. That was bloody well done, actually, that stadium, making those seats yellow. Smart. Or it might have been clever from the Phoenix, because the seats might have been yellow before the Phoenix. Yeah, true. Yeah.

New Zealand has won their first Women's World Cup match in 32 years since I was one year old. That's incredible. My whole life, basically. Me too, yeah. And I know that because I'm looking at Hannah Wilkinson's Instagram. And here's where I come in. Right.

Because in the Women's World Cup, there's quite a lot of couples competing. Against each other or on the same team? Yeah. No, against each other. Right. And I was talking about Hannah Wilkinson because, you know what, I like the look of her.

And I went on her Instagram and I was like, might shoot my shot. And then she's got. To catch up, people, Aaron has approved you taking a female lover. A female lover. Right, okay. I'm allowed one celebrity lover and one female lover. So Jason Momoa is your celebrity lover. Hopefully. Right, hopefully. And now you're auditioning

female lovers. What's he get out of this? His girlfriend being like absolutely full of joy all the time. She's got three hot lovers on the guy, ticking all of the boxes. And so you've been watching and seeing a lot of the FIFA publicity and it's been ticking a few boxes, has it?

You know my boxes. I like a boyish girl and a very mannish man. Yeah. So a few couples, Sam Kerr, who plays for Australia, and Christy Mewis plays for USA. They'll be competing against each other. I think there's four couples. Ali Carpenter, Australia, and Daniel van der Donk, Netherlands.

Right. Daniel. Danielle. Oh, Danielle. Sorry, Danielle. I was going to say, Daniel. So we might want to check the exit. Guy is sneaking into the room.

Because a lot of these players, even if they represent New Zealand or Australia, most of them are just based overseas anyway. Yeah, yeah. I was looking at our team spread far and wide. A lot of them Euro Leagues, Australian Leagues. The lovely Hannah Wilkinson. So they meet at these leagues. Jesus, give it a break.

She's taken. She's in a happy relationship. So am I. Unless, of course, her partner has also told her she's allowed to take another lover. She'll be able to take a male lover. That's how it works. I don't think there's rules to taking lovers.

Yeah. We can take lovers as we please. Yeah, sure. Pernille Harder in Denmark and Magdalena Eriksson from Sweden competing against each other. And Anne Katrin Berger from Germany and Jess Carter from England competing against each other. Imagine going up against your partner. It happens a lot in sport with brothers. It could be on the opposite rugby teams,

like the Barretts. Yeah. When there's eight of them and they all play rugby, they can't all be on the same team. Otherwise it would just be like the New Plymouth Barretts would be the rugby team, wouldn't they? Yeah. But imagine going up against your partner, though.

I know. And they're on the opposite. Especially like they tussle. They really get in there. And you want to annihilate them on the field. But it's your partner and if you annihilate them you get home. Are they going to be a little miffed? Field slash

cranium board game. I'm out there to annihilate whoever stands in my way and it has been my partner and my wife and that's why we don't play cranium anymore. That's why yeah. Well I wonder if there are examples like this of when you had to compete against your partner. Like, maybe you were both going for the same job. Or you go against each other in companies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happens a bit in radio. Like, it's such a small industry. I work for this network, you work for that network. Yeah, yeah. You're up against your partner competing. Maybe I could take Sharon Casey as a lover. You know?

I don't know. I've just talked to Bryce and see if he's all right with her, but you never know. Yeah. I think they're a two-for-one deal. You've got to take them both as lovers or? I don't want another male lover. You've got one, yeah.

You've got Jason Amara on the summer. You got any boyish girls over there? Sadly, not enough, you know? I know, right? Okay, so what you want to hear from people this morning, right now, that are going up against their loved one, their partner. Had to compete against them in some way.

It doesn't have to be sport. Maybe it is sport, which is great. But maybe it's in the job world, in the corporate world. In your career or... Maybe it is a social team thing. Like your work team goes up against their work team. Yeah. They need to stop calling social sports social sport

because that is some of the most competitive bitches I've ever seen. Oh, yeah. I play social netball. If you want to play social netball, you have to trim your nails in case shit goes down, of course. Yeah. I want to know when you had to go up against your partner in a sort of competition way because a lot of,

there's like four or five couples in the Women's World Cup at the moment who are competing against each other. Yeah, different teams. Different teams. Both wanting to win. It's the World Cup. It's not. Imagine if you made it to the final.

Yeah, it's not Saturday footy. Like this is the World Cup. The world is watching. Imagine if you made it to the final. You're both, you want to win the World Cup. If you throw this game, I'll do that thing you like. No hands. Yeah.

Well, whatever you want to go about it. You'd be in the dog box if you were on the winning team. Yeah, but then also, don't you want to celebrate your partner as well? It'd be so confusing. You'd be devastated, but also like, well done. So it doesn't have to be sports, but when did you have to go up against your partner and what happened? A lot of messages in.

Somebody said, do drinking games count? I would not win. Aaron holds alcohol so well. He's a unit. Yeah. We did that game, that flip cup where you flip it over and you land it and then it goes on to the next person. Oh, yeah.

And we were both the last people and we just couldn't get it and then he got it and I didn't. I just lost the plot. Yeah. I feel like competition would be more fierce in the home playing games and stuff than it would be if you actually were playing sports.

That's why you don't go up against your wife in cranium anymore. It's just not played, is it? No, no, no, it's not played. Very few board games are played because of my prowess around a table. Because he grew up with a family of five a table. I won't do it. Aaron's doing some so seriously. Yeah. Well, you grew up with, you know, like a family of five. Yeah. Wookie, good morning.

How's it going, guys? Oh, now Vaughn's doing the noises. Wookie, make us some noise. I can't at the moment. Do you go up against your partner? Yeah, we play Crash Team Racing a lot.

We've both beaten all the developer time trials on every track. So we're kind of both in the top 1,000 in the world. And we verse each other every day to try to beat each other's time trials. I mean, one of us does. Man, does the house get dark. What is the Crash Team Racing version of the blue shell from Mario Kart? There is something, eh, that just wipes out the leader. Oh, we don't use power-ups.

We just do time trials. You don't use power-ups! No, because the power-ups you think are random, thus unfair. You know on Zoom how there's the option to have a breakout room? I feel like this call needs a breakout room. I don't know what's happening. It's not that we're not interested, Wookie, but I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's happening.

Well, I've got a punching bag and a garage boot. It's the same. You go outside and you take it out. You let off a bit of steam. Wookie, thanks for your call. Chelsea, when did you have to go up against your partner? We are both dancers, and so we go up against each other all the time. We do the same audition.

Oh, no. And has it ever happened in your household that one of you got the job? Yeah, it has, actually. Oh. And so what was that like? It was a bit devastating, but we're happy for each other. But it worked out because the other one got the job, so it was all good.

So you still kind of technically get the money, you know what I mean? But you go along and watch the performance, and you're like, point the toe, could have done it tighter, could have done that better, it was a bit sloppy, and give the notes afterwards like any good partner should. Constant feedback and judgment. Oh, my God.

Good, good, good, good, good. Love that. Chelsea, thank you. Some messages in. My boyfriend and I went for the same role in a play. He got the role and, in my opinion, completely butchered the character. Reads a text. My God.

Completely butchered the character. During a new relationship, my partner and I went up against each other for the same job. We didn't know we'd both applied for it until we found out and I announced very proudly what my new role was. And he said that he'd also applied for that. But again, more money for the relationship. Oh my God. My wife and I farm together and we compete every day in everything. I never win until last night when we were having a tickle fight.

Okay, I don't know if this is a farce. It was a tickle fight and somehow in the tickle fight, her lip was split. So she called mercy and called the fight off. Tickle fight. So you tapped her out and then it split.

Yeah. I can't put a fence up faster than her or straighter than her or better or tighter than her, but I just won a tickle fight. my god the tickle fights i hate tickle fights as soon as aaron tickles me i will hurt you in such a big way you're never winning a tickle fight with aaron no he's too he's got too long to reach he's mr i'll hurt you i know aaron stop because i will hurt you he's mr tickle he's mr i've been been booted in the nether regions during a tickle fight.

Yeah. Fair play. Shardie did say, I'm about to start kicking. That's what I do. I say, I'm actually going to kick you. Stop it, stop it, stop it. I'm about to start kicking. Yeah.

And I didn't, and she did. Friendly kids Christmas party playing indoor soccer. I'm the goalie, and my husband's on the other team. He went for a goal, and he kicked it so hard, it was going to smash me in my face. I put my hands up and he broke my wrist instead. Oh my god. Wow. Broke my wrist.

We do, my girlfriend and I, both females, unfortunately for you Hayley, not boyish girls, sorry. And we are competitive dancers as well and we compete against each other. Could you cut your hair off or something? It's amazing. And we are competitive dancers as well, and we compete against each other. Oh. Yeah. Well, could you cut your hair off or something?

It's amazing, yeah. Could you cut it a bit shorter? And get jacked? And wear, like, tight bike shorts. No, don't wear tight bike shorts. We like baggy track pants. I got baggy track pants for a change. Wear a hoodie.

Oh, my God, wear a hoodie. And a beanie. Oh, my God, wear a beanie. Wear a singlet. A distressed baseball cap. Wear a singlet, a cap, and ripped jeans. Yeah, a tight singlet. Like a tank top singlet. And run your fingers through your short hair.

But also like a lacy bra. Oh my god, woman, please. We do wood chopping as a family, and myself, my husband, and my son often compete against each other. What? You've got axes. What a cool family.

But axes. What if muckets are not throwing them at each other? That's finally a family that's not going to argue about chopping the kindling and getting the firewood in. Yeah. Race you. Not me. Race you to get it down to the parts.

Well, you're apparently faster than me. The small parts that light on fire easier. Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Day, day. This fact of the day comes to us from Greer.

Greer did some research. Is it going to be as good as the one that I provided? Also, almost unbeatable speech. The guy with the long arms and the dolphin yesterday? It was a great fact of the day. A lot of people messaging me saying, great fact of the day. You did not. Receipts.

I deleted them. Yeah, he always clears his inbox. I always clear it. Bulch. So, Greer messaged and she said, have you done a fact of the day about this? And I said, no. And she said, great, because I've already been down the rabbit hole now. Because that's heartbreaking for people. They say, have you done a fact of the day about this? And I said, no. And she said, great,

because I've already been down the rabbit hole now. Because that's heartbreaking for people. They say, have you done this fact of the day? I say, yes. And they said, oh, but I've done all this research. I said, yes, but it's been fact of the day. So check. And then by all means, I will assign you, Professor Smith,

your assignment and you can go crazy with your own research. Greer did this and said, are you aware of the ongoing international mix-ups between Australia and Austria? I mean, they're very close. Well, the first three letters. Austria, Australia. There's just a...

Let me look at the spelling here. There is a extra A and an extra L. That is literally the difference between Australia and Austria. An A and an extra L. That is literally the difference between Australia and Austria. An A and an L.

Yeah. An A and an L. So she said because there's been a long history of mix-ups between them, there was a wine controversy. Austrian wine. It turns out they were adding antifreeze to their wines as a sweetener of sorts.

Something that can be used as an antifreeze. Weird. Now, that led to China and Japan banning wine imports from Australia. Australia's got very good wine. Very good wine. Oh, yeah. And they did not add anything to it. It was kind of the end of the Austrian wine industry, by the way.

Oh. I didn't know Austria was winey. Well, they're not because of the antifreeze thing. And nobody wanted their wine anymore, so they kind of, their industry sort of shut down. But there was a mistake, and China and Japan banned wine trade with Australia under this. At the United Nations in 2008,

Austria was going for a coveted seat on the UN Security Council, to which they got all of the votes they needed, apart from one because somebody cast a vote for Australia. Oh, my God. At the United Nations. These are obviously people that are very smart people. Yes. Representatives at the United Nations.

You would really hope they were smart. Not the, well, Ban Ki-moon, who was the UN Secretary General. Yeah. He said in a speech, I want to thank in particular President Fischer and the government of Australia. Now, what he meant to say was thank you to President Fischer and the government of Austria, where President Fischer is the president. It's not that hard, people.

But he said Australia in front of a whole lot of people. Yeah. And then, of course, there was laughter and confusion about that. But one of the most interesting thing is the Australian Post has a special department that deals with postage actually meant for Austria. Oh, my God. Of course. Yeah, they've got a redirect stamp.

Oh, yeah. That if it kind of gets to Australia and they're like, well, that postcode doesn't exist here or that suburb doesn't exist here, they've got a machine that will plonk, stamp it, and redirect it to Austria. Off you go to Austria. Yeah, off you go to Austria.

So I was thinking if you wanted to send something to Austria, just address it to Australia and then they redirect it for you. They don't send it back to you. They redirect it to the address you made in Austria. Good idea. That's real fun. And there was a high-profile incident where a company, someone online ordered a parcel and kept seeing the updates of it

getting to Austria and then leaving. And he's like, why is it going via Austria on the way to Australia? But it was the opposite. It was getting to Austria with an Australian address and just getting sent back to the people who would just immediately send it straight back to Austria. It happened five times before it got sorted. People are dumb.

People are silly. Yeah. Missent, missent. So today's fact of the day, thanks to Greer, is there is a lot, despite, you would believe, modern times making this easy to avoid, a lot of times where Australia and Austria are confused. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little Poe. Silly little Poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little Poe. Silly little Poe. Silly little Poe. Silly little Poe.

Silly little Poe. Wait, were the mics up that whole time? Silly little Poe. Silly little Poe. Silly little Poe. Wait, where the mic's up that whole time? Poe! Poe! Poe! So you left clothes at Vaughan's house after a naked spa night. Hang on, hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Effectively, yes. No, I wasn't naked.

When I got out of the spa, I removed my tog top. Right. I just put a jumper over top. Okay. And then so Vaughn had to bring the clothes that you and Aaron left at his house. And I didn't realise Aaron had left his shirt. It was a big old shirt. But rather than just bring them in a bag, Vaughn washed the items of clothing and gave them back to you

and you thought that was weird. No, when you chucked the shirt at me, I was like it smells like Tide Pods. Tide Pods. You've learned what that smell is. You've washed it. I'd just be like, you left your bloody shirt. I always find it fascinating when somebody else washes your clothes. I like their technique. I like, like, what do they do?

What's their smell? You can kind of see, are they a dryer people or have they, where have they dried it? Is it a sun dry? Has it been outside? Is it just been on a clothes rack inside? Have they used, because it was the white shirt, bold to wash someone's white shirt because their heart, you know, they've always got stains and marks and things, you know, did they use a stain remover? Not with the Tide Pods.

I'm yet to try the Tide Pod. Well, this is today's silly little poll. If a friend leaves their clothes at your house, do you wash them before returning? 60% of people say no. 40% of people say yes. I would have thought it would have been more because I would wash someone's,

it was just a t-shirt. Well, you just chuck it in with all yours. Yeah, easy. No, I'd be too scared I'd ruin it. Okay, even if they washed it, would you just put it

in the wash again? No. No, I wouldn't double wash. I probably would. But it depends as well. Like, you know, recently I sent my best friend like four really fancy dresses

because she was going to a fancy event. Yeah. You wouldn't wash that. No, no. Dry clean. Dry clean. But if they bang a bloody silk frock in a washing machine, you'd be pissed off. What if they put on delicates?

Nope. Hannah says, yes, I was always taught to leave things better than when I found them. Me too, but not clothes. AJ said, I'm not their mother, I'm not washing their clothes. Tash says, yes, I was always taught to leave things better than when I found them. Me too, but not clothes. AJ said, I'm not their mother. I'm not washing their clothes. Tash says, lol, no. What the actual? Who would do that?

Are you feeling targeted here? Nah. You're just doing a nice thing. Because what do people come over for a swim and bring towels? They always leave towels behind. You always wash and dry the towels and give them back to them all folded and then you put all the stuff on top. Towels are different to clothes, though, for some reason. I can't tell you why.

They're wet, though. They're left wet. It doesn't matter if you stuff them. These things were wet. The clothes that I washed were wet. If they're a true friend, I would 100% wash their clothes for them from Emma. And Isaac says, I can barely build up the energy to clean my own clothes like how I'm going to clean anybody else's.

Yeah. Bruh. Honest. Bruh, says Bridget. Bruh. I didn't ask for that to be left here. Girl can do her own washing. That's fair.

That's invasive, says Tessa, and insinuates you find them dirty. No. Come down. Yeah, if someone left their jumper at my house, I wouldn't wash it. Or their jacket. No, I wouldn't wash your jumper like a sweatshirt. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

But it's shirts that I've been wearing. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. But as shirts that they've been wearing, yeah, if it touches the skin, would you wash their undies? Yeah, I would because I wouldn't hand them back to them dirty. I'd feel so embarrassed.

I'd be like, no, no, no, I just picked them up straight in the wash. Just straight in the wash. Yeah, yeah. I didn't touch them. And if I did touch them,

it was by the waistband. Yeah. Very respectfully. I did not pick them up from the crotch. Would you use your tongs? Well, you'd have to give them a sniff to see

if they were dirty. I would 100%. I would 100% see if they were skids. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one?

We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't.

Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.