ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 21st June 2024

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

Spenny Book!  Silly little Poll!  Hayley's Motorway Disagreement  Top 6: People Fletch has Outlived  Fletchs Birthday!!!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchvaughan and Hayley. Today is the 21st of June. A couple of days before my birthday, yes.

But today is the winter solstice. I know, big moon as well. Yeah, shortest day. One of my favourite solstices. Is it? You don't like summer solstice? Right up One of my favourite solstices. Is it? Summer, you don't like summer solstice? Right up there

with the summer solstice. Crazy that it's the winter solstice and yet probably going to be about 17 degrees in Auckland today. Just, I guess all those jackets

I spend money on. It's 11. Just, don't bother, just chuck them. Huff a puffer, chuck that in a bag. I've got some jackets

that really ache and to be worn. I've got that jackets that really ache in to be worn. I've got that leather Sherpa that cost a little bit. A little bit? Jesus, I think it costs more than anything I've ever owned collectively. So you're right to say you just haven't been able to use your fashion much. I'm gagging to be cold. It's going to get cold.

When? Well, it's been cold in some parts of the country. I know, I know. I don't mean to sort of privilege moan. It has been very warm in Auckland, though. Left the house in a T-shirt today. The top six on the way. Top six people that Fletch has officially outlived.

You turned 45 years old on Sunday. Nice round number. You don't ask a lady her age. You don't talk about a lady's age. You never talk about a lady's age. You should be proud of it. Ageing is a privilege. This is quite rude. And how much do you weigh at the moment. You don't ask a lady her age. You don't talk about a lady's age. You never talk about a lady's age. You should be proud of it. Ageing is a privilege.

This is quite rude. And how much do you weigh at the moment? I don't know. And what are your religious opinions? And what are the rules? When are you going

to have a baby? When are you going to have a baby? Yeah. Tick tock. Tick tock. This is an amazing list of people that died

when they were 44 years old. Why are you telling me this? Because you beat them. I beat them. Well, hang on. Well, life's not a game. Also, I've got two days left. Also, it's till Sunday.

You're jinxing me. These people die. You outlive them because they died well before their 45th birthday. Right, okay. So you're closer to 45, even if you were to be struck by an Auckland transport bus

as you left work today. Well, because you know some of those are electric now and you don't hear them coming. And you just cross roads hilly, chmilly. I do. Rich from you, I've saved hear them coming. And you just cross roads. Willy. I do. Rich from you.

I've saved your life before. I'm a country boy. The big city. He doesn't know what these big trucks are. We have big city roads. It's crazy. It's kind of like the 27 Club. I actually think the 44 Club could rival the 27 Club. Okay.

Well, that's coming up in the... Because these people didn't die of heroin overdoses. True. Coming up in the top six. Okay. Well, that's coming up in the... Because these people didn't die of heroin overdoses. True. Coming up in the top six. Next on the show, though. There is a book that has sold for an astronomical amount of money due to a silly reason. I'll give you all of the details next.

All of them or just some? Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. They're $93,000. What would you do if you had $93,000 What would you do if you had $93,000? I've just transferred it into your bank account I don't know Term deposit

Oh god get alive Into a fund Vaughan what are we doing with $93,000 I've just transferred into your bank account Pay off A little bit of money that I borrowed But then go on holiday. Holiday. Yeah, okay.

No, you can't join on. You said... Well, I am already going on holiday. Yeah, but with $93,000, you're telling me we're not going business class and upgrading some of the hotels and booking in some Michelin star restaurants around the world. And then you come back with no dollars.

Yeah. But you never had the dollars. Okay. Anyway, $93,000 is the amount that someone paid for a first edition Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Oh, yep. Now, I know that these go for a lot of money. I didn't have the first edition, but I had it when it first came out.

Yep. But mine was the soft cover. What ones have you got? Have you got any good ones? Yeah, I've got one, but that would have been from like 2001 maybe. Yeah.

That only went first edition. Yeah, yeah. Mine were the 2000s. That's the thing, you don't know that this is going to be a massive thing when it first comes out.

A block, eh? Right, you're just like... And even when they're... Excuse me, hiccup. Even when they're popular, you're not like it's going to go crazy and then make films

and then she's going to do a little blur. So $93,000 sold at auction. And the reason is because there's two spelling mistakes in it, which are very rare. But I was like, does that mean that those spelling mistakes are in every run of that?

No, just the first run. The first edition, second edition literally means it's been... No, no, but I mean there's more than just this one, just the first run. The first edition, second edition literally means it's been... No, no, but I mean there's more than just this one book with the spelling mistake. Oh, yeah, yeah, there would be, right? But the rest of them are probably at the bottom of a book thing or torn to shreds.

You know how books always get wet? If you have them for long enough, they always end up wet. All my books get wet. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it sounds like you've got a damned house. Always end up with a little crinkle on the page. Always a bit of a crinkle. So the two spelling mistakes, philosophers, as in Philosopher's Stone, is spelt wrong. Yeah. It's spelt philosophers, like HP.

I think you're going to say it's spelt with an F. The philosophers. Too good. Do you mean philosophers? Do you mean philosophers? On the lower cover, and one wand is written twice in the list of equipment he'll need for the school on page 53. And so it got sold in auction in Edinburgh for $93,000.

Because it's got smelling sacks? Yeah. And it's like the first edition. Wow, okay. I just can't. I don't have any sort of collector's thing that's expensive. I've got one Queen record that's worth a bit of money. But other than that.

Why is it worth money? It was Bohemian Rhapsody on, what's the small one? 33. 33. And yeah, it was just one of the first runs of it. Wow. How much is it worth? Super fan.

Oh, like under five grand. Yeah. Wow. You should put that in a frame or something. I know, I want to get it framed. But would you frame a book like this or would you just have it in a nice library? You know, if you go to those fancy libraries

and they've got like all this stuff. You'd put it in a glass case. Would you put a slip cover on it? Because I in a glass case. Would you put a slip cover on it? Because I hate a slip cover. I'll remove a slip cover. Oh, yeah, so you can see the actual hard bit of the book. It looks like fancy, like old school books.

Also, do you do that when you read a book that's got a slip cover? You don't read Fletch Can't Read, but Vaughan, when you read books... Excuse me, I get read too. Audio books is reading. It's just as good as podcasting. It is. But so do you slip off the slip cover when you read the book?

Yeah, because it slides around. It's annoying. Yeah, and it gets all torn and dog-eared. I might be on my own here. I prefer a soft cover. I like hard. It makes me feel rich. Hard cover's more pop.

Hard looks better on the bookcase. Yeah, definitely. But when you're like, just, I disrespect the spine. I still have a soft cover. I disrespect the spine. I mean, Aaron,

you're the same person. Aaron disrespects the spine. Yeah, I will like, when I go to, I won't dog ear a book or put a bookmark and I'll just leave it open and I'll slap it

straight down. Unbelievable. I hate that. That's why I'll never let Aaron read my books first. Gobble that up. Yeah, that's disrespecting the hardback, isn't it?

You're better to dog ear because you can un-dog ear it but once you've cracked that spine. I saw a guy reading the other day in the spa pool. He was reading his Kindle and he had the Kindle inside a Ziploc bag.

How do you change page on a Kindle? The pronunciation could still get in though. I don't know. Now you've got a sweaty Kindle. Now you've got a sweaty Kindle. You totally have a sweaty Kindle. You totally have a sweaty Kindle.

Nothing worse than a steamed Kindle. Oh, yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I read a post from a man, anonymous penguin. Sorry. I don't hate all men. Oh, don't you? Hashtag not all men.

Some men. Others. The title is, I ended up with Hashtag not all men. Some men. Others. The title is, I ended up with a 10K worth of debt from dating apps. Ask me anything. Jesus.

As the title states, over the last year or so, I ended up with 10K worth of debt specifically from dating apps. Had to take out a personal loan to consolidate.

Consolidate. Consolidate. Considerate my debt. Consolidate my debt. And I haven't been paying for anything on dating apps since. Oh my God. Because we spoke about this yesterday that a lot of straight men are changing their profiles to everyone so that the gay guys like them.

Boost the profile. Boost the profile. More women see it. Toggle off everyone. Women only, but I'm boosted. Yeah. So it's cheating the algorithm because the algorithm will reward better looking people or people that get swiped more.

I mean, I'd pop off. So if you want to buy likes or you want to buy your profile boosted, a lot of these dating apps, you pay to do it. Right. Wow, I had no idea. Or do you think he was just ticking it all up on a credit card? You just charge your credit card. Right, so it's like a credit card. And so if you did he was just ticking it all up on a credit card? You, just charge your credit card.

Right, so it's like a credit card. And so if you did it enough and then you couldn't pay the credit card back, then you're getting interest, then you're getting in trouble, then you're getting into debt

and it just accumulates. For some context, I'm a 28 year old man. I got out of a five year relationship where I was codependent on someone when all this began. I had no real friends as they were losers.

Was lonely and desperate to make connections, afraid to be alone. I was in a vulnerable place and these apps sold me on the bells and whistles of meeting someone and being successful standing out if I paid for the premiums. So I saw on this Reddit thread,

I'm just having a look, a lot of people, you'd think that maybe he'd get a bit of a roasting, like, you idiot. A lot of people chime in and be like, I get it, man. Like, it's easy. You get addicted,

like a bit of the dopamine kind of gambling hit of being like, oh, I just need a little bit more, a little bit more. Some of the questions, no judgment, but which app would you recommend using or have the highest success rate with paid upgrades? Great question. Oh, yeah. I hadn't even thought of that question. What did he say? Tinder if you want to hook up something

casual. Bumble sucks. Most of the time people you match with don't respond within the 24 hours, so it's a lost connection. Okay, Cupid, absolutely horrendous. Oh, gosh. Coffee meets bagel, not worth it. People don't respond and those are timed conversations and people don't seem serious enough.

Wait, what's coffee meets bagel? Don't know. The dating app for serious daters. Chispa sucks. You match and they never respond back and a good amount of bots. Hinge is okay if you're looking for something serious Or the potential for it people don't respond though Oh god

Sounds like a him problem Do you think that we're just like over dating apps? Oh 100% And more connections through speed dating events Oh that's like in real life though I know Coffee Meets Bagel Lim limits the number of profile users that you can interact with each day,

offering icebreaker information for matches, like drip feeding you icebreakers. Oh, you follow this basketball team, or you work in this industry. Someone said, how much of this debt's from OnlyFans? And he said, funnily enough, the only time I've ever paid for OnlyFans was with money I had,

not credit cards. Right. So $10,000 on dating apps. That is insane amounts of money. But you kind of get it. Because I was looking at another post and someone was like, yeah, I had 3K in Royal Match.

Is that a game? Royal Match game. Right. And you can kind of see how it would happen because you don't think you're spending $10,000, but you're spending $5 a day. It's a bit like royal match game. Right. And you can kind of see how it would happen because you don't think you're spending $10,000, but you're spending $5 a day. It's a bit like the pokies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like I'm just putting $2. So even when I've played like Candy Crush and I'm impatient, I'll be like, I'll just pay $1.29. I'll pay $1.29 to get ahead. Yeah. And then you're like, shit, this week I spent 10 bucks.

So they said, what's the ratio between what you spend on the dating apps versus what you spend on the dates themselves? Or did you drop 10k into dating apps alone? And he said, the debt is 60-40 split. 60% going towards the apps, the rest on dates. There was a time where I was

going on 3-5 dates a week. If it was for drinks, I'd end up spending $50. If it was dinner, it'd be $100. So the 10k includes the dates. Man, it's still insane amounts of money, isn't it? You've got to do some free date ideas. Like have sex.

Just one activity that you can do for free. Yeah, but then that could also end up being 18 years of debt as well. Oh God, don't curse my womb. Silly little poll is next. Speaking of the bedroom, how old is your mattress? This has popped into my head. Silly little pole is next. Speaking of the bedroom, how old is your mattress? This has popped into my head.

This question. This sounds like it's going to be an ad on an American podcast. They're always hawking mattresses. How old's your mattress? More chair by mattresses. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly Silly Little Pole, how old's your mattress? Our options, 0-5 years, 5-10 years, 10 to 15 years or 20 years plus. We're all under five because we got the Sealy mattresses and we went to the factory. Indeed. And also, this just popped into my head and I don't know why, but then yesterday I saw a TikTok of a chick saying like, I can't believe how in love I was with a guy whose bed looked like this. And then it like flashed back and it was one of those brown mattresses,

you know, like the fitted sheets pinged off the corner and the brown stained mattresses there. And I was like, we have all shagged on those beds before, haven't we? Yeah. Because I genuinely think this mattress that we've got now is like the first new mattress oh no the second new mattress

we had but for me and Aaron's first relationship we just had like hand me down mattresses yeah imagine what inherited a mattress

you've got to wonder what's happened on that mattress before but then you don't even think about it when you go to a hotel no I know

that a million people have been on there before you and how often does a hotel change a bed like actually get rid of it and get a whole new bed. And what do they do with the old beds? What happened to mattresses?

You know how you see mattresses dumped on the side of the road? They're expensive to take to the tip, eh? Yeah. Sometimes they might get donated. That's why they should. What does happen? To hotels' old mattresses. And how often do they work at a...

There must be a constant flow of old mattresses. I know someone that works at a There must be a constant flow of old mattresses. I know someone that works at a hotel. I'll ask them. Could you please? That would be great. I'll say,

how long do you keep your mattresses for? To ebb my curiosity. It feels like something we could probably Google. Yeah. You know what? How long do hotels

keep their Oh, this is an interesting How long do hotels keep security footage? How long do hotels keep records of guests? That sounds like... Producer Jared just said that your parents bought a bunch of second-hand hotel mattresses.

Oh. Yep, yep, they did. Why? Excuse me. He's emotional about mattresses. He's emotional about mattresses. He's emotional about bedding. Secondhand mattresses still have a life. Yeah, my parents run an Airbnb.

Oh. So they just basically upgraded all their beds for cheap. Yeah, that makes sense. You would do that. Yeah. Because it's like people aren't sleeping on them every night. Typically, hotels replace mattresses every five to seven years depending on the quality of the mattress and how often it's used.

Yeah, okay. And when you're in a hotel, man, you've been doing some terrible things. Which, yeah, they replace it every, that long because mattresses should last

seven to ten. I just go to sleep. Shut up. I speak on behalf of everyone in this room. And I have authority to do so. In fact,

I would say our carbon footprint on sheet washing after a hotel stay alone would be significantly less than our cohort here. And again,

you speak on behalf of the entire room. Wow. Yeah. Okay. And he has it on good authority to do so.

Guys, it's my birthday. Stop teasing me. It's my birthday in two days. Stop teasing me. We haven't even started on the impact on towels.

Silly little poll. How old's your mattress? 47% of people said zero to five years. That's higher than I thought it was going to be. But mind you, because... Mind you? Mind you, if I was... Mind you, if I was to present the fact that we recently

underwent a pandemic when we're all stuck at home, so maybe people upgraded their mattresses rather than travelling. So many people bought a mattress in a box. Yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Mattress in a box. Open it up. Out of old silk.

Mind you. Mind you. 35% of people's mattresses are 5 to 10 years old, 14% at 10 to 15, and 4% of people's mattresses are 20 years plus. Yeah, good. My parents, I think they got their bed as a wedding present and they had it

to consummate the marriage. To immediately begin procreating. Yes. As all good Catholics should. Absolutely. And they had that until not that long ago.

Yeah, totally. It was a big purple thing with the designs on it. It was a real go-to. We changed them out every five years, says Danielle. Yeah, a lot of people do because if they start to, you know, get the sag. Jessie said, three years ago, I went and bought myself my first ever brand new mattress for two and a half thousand dollars.

Best thing I've ever done for myself. Yeah. You've got to have a good night's sleep. You spend a third of your life in bed. Yeah. Mind you. Mind you. Mind you, less and less these days.

Yes. We're spending less time sleeping, aren't we? I know, barely sleep at all. Lots of people, anxiety keeps them awake. We're thriving on stress. You must see.

Mind you. Mind you. Amy says, what are your mattress when I left my husband? Never looked back. Oh, yeah. The husband or the old mattress

or both? Both. You wouldn't keep your divorce mattress, would you? No. Although, if it's a good mattress, just change the duvet. If I was to break up with Aaron, I wouldn't get a new mattress. Yeah.

Too many memories. Would you? Yeah. You would get a new mattress. Yeah. It would be weird shagging a person in the bed. Somebody else's bed. Yeah.

But those people Who have affairs And they sleep with the person In their own In the marital bed It's just so much worse When I have affairs Always out of the bed At hotels

Yeah Messing up those shits Motels mostly Motels At a girl It's because of the free Tetra Pak Milk

And the sky And the sky Free sky Free sky man It's advertised right there On the billboard Amy says I literally bought mine

Two days ago Off marketplace Guy opened the door In a velour set of PJs No Okay Bed is top tier And very clearly

Drop shipped off somewhere I couldn't buy A second hand bed And then look at the people I'm picking it up from Oh no Anonymous Leave it up front

Dump it on my front doorstep And don't look at me. Don't look. I don't want to imagine you having sex in it. Yeah, I know. The first double bed I ever purchased was for my second year of flatting. So the year would have been 2001. Yeah.

And we went and picked it up from this house in Morrinsville. If you are familiar with Morrinsville, I'm going to kind of point out where the house is. Great. Over the road from Sylvester Electrical Just by the RSA If you're coming in from the southern end of Morrinsville You go under the train tracks that go over the road Right there on the right

Got a big tree in its front yard By Greenlea Meats I went to that house and bought a mattress And if someone sends me I tell you what If someone sends you the first person in the area That sends me a photo of that house

that gets the right house I will transfer you $10 $10 it's like a little bit of a hug out of their way on a Friday it's like a little bit

of a hug I don't have any more than $10 $20 make it $20 $20 $20 yes come on

send them a McCafe voucher or something I'll send them a McCafe voucher or something don't spend your own money I went to that house and when we got there she's like

oh and there's some coffee stains on the other side and she flipped over the mattress. 100% someone should have been. That's not coffee. That's blood and poos. And this was before

the days of Abyssal. There was no Abyssal. Yeah, no Abyssal. We took it home and scrubbed it. I reckon you could have got a rug doctor on there. How many stains did you contribute to that?

A few stains. A few stains. I had that bed for years. Yes. My bed turns 21 this year. Still comfy and does the job. No, get a new bed. Helps it's only me and no bedroom gymnastics to ruin it.

Oh, yeah. Get some gymnastics. Tessa said, don't know it's from the op shop. Had a girl. Yeah, I've had op shop beds. Sheena just ticked over 10 years this one and haven't seen the need to buy a new one yet. Okay, well, if it's still going strong.

Devin just bought a new one two years ago while heavily pregnant. Best present I bought my pre-go South. Yes. Can't have sag when your back's bare and all that. My mum bought this one for me off Trayview when I was 14. I'm now 26, so it's at least that old. My wife and I are still on my brother-in-law's old mattress from when he was single.

Oh, Joel. More snuggled though, because it's smaller maybe. We just got a message in. I stayed at a hotel in Christchurch that was a quarantine place during COVID. There was an imprint on the side I slept on so you could tell people had just been sitting there for days on end, not moving.

Just sitting on the bed being like my two weeks. A lot of those quarantine hotels because they got so much cash from the government they reno'd pretty much all of them. Big time, yeah. And they needed to as well because they were literally like,

COVID hotel. We drove around Auckland with my parents going like, COVID hotel. Yeah. Jet park. My parents always used to stay

at jet park. Yeah. Always stayed there the night before they flew out anywhere. And if you look closely at those quarantine hotels, you see the scratch marks at the bottom of the doors.

Yeah, yeah. There's still help written on the windows. Send food. Absolutely. Let me pepper in a long tease here. Just after eight o'clock, after five on time, we're going to be talking to Bryn because...

Our newsreader. The girlies and our crew, we went to his comedy gig last night. Do you know what? When you said you were driving in to go to that, I was... Because I'd had a couple of beersies. I know.

And I had a spare ticket. Do you know what? And I was going to text you and be like, I reckon I could twist your arm, but I was only 20 minutes from it starting. So I was like, I won't do that to him. I was like, no. There was no chance I was leaving my home. him. I was like, no, I'm going to go to bed. There was no chance

I was leaving my home. I didn't even bother with you, Bourne. But I tell you, don't even look in my direction. We're going to report back on Bryn's comedy show debut after we've heard great things.

A review of sorts. He said really good stuff. A review of sorts. Anyway, but after the gig, I did a quick exit because it was not too late. It was like 8.30

and I was like, here we go. You know, I'll go home, go to bed. And I was like 8.30 and I was like, here we go. I'll go home, go to bed. And I was on the motorway and the motorway that leads to my house, which is the North Western motorway,

my address is, got a pen and paper. And I was just driving along at my leisure, which is about 105. And I was just driving along at my leisure, which is about 105. Yeah. Right?

And I was driving along and then this car came on an on-ramp from the left and then did almost, you know that when you see people do that sideways driving where they're like crossing four lanes. Like four lanes at once? Oh, yeah, a big swoop. On a really sharp incline, like a real sharp angle, as opposed to sort of just like working their way across. Like stay in a lane for a bit and then move. Yeah.

Stay in a lane and then move. No, they were like from the ramp to the fast lane in seconds, including just cutting me off, like just like getting right in front of me as if they were about to hit me. I had to put my foot on the pedal to slow myself down from 105 to 100. Okay, yeah.

So they cut right in front of me and so I perhaps a little aggressively laid it on the horn. Now I gave it one horn then I was like, actually you nearly took my life and so I laid it on again. Oh yeah, so you went meh, meh, meh,

like this. Love that, that's what it's for. Yeah, so then the person in front of me did that thing Which I, you know what, I'd probably do the same But they were in the wrong to start Did that thing where They had cut past me But then went right in front of me And then slowed down

So that we were now nose to tail This person is like aggro Agro man And I was like, you know what In another world I'd drop back so that we would now nose to tail. This person is like aggro. Aggro, man. And I was like, you know what? In another world, I'd drop back or I'd change lanes to get away from them. Yeah. I thought, nah.

Here we go. You've actually really annoyed me. Yeah. And I'm a very confident driver. So I was like, I'm happy to stay right up your ass here. I'll just stay right on the tail. You've put me in this position. Here we shall stay.

They ended up slowing down to about 60 kilometres, obviously hoping that I would go like, and try to change. But I didn't. I just stayed there. And I did not drop back. And I was like, here we go. Then they took off for a bit.

And at some point got behind me and tried to get right up my, you know, like there was like a retaliation. A bit of a top gun move. We've got a maverick on our hands. Yeah, it was all, we were just playing these games. Like a dog fight. You need to do a loopy loop to get behind you.

Yeah, I know. And so I just, we were just playing this game for a while, getting in front of each other. And I was like, this is stupid. Let's just, let's just be done with it. We're in the middle lane. Yeah. I go into the front lane and they switch and go in front of me.

So they're like blocking me. So I like change to the left. They got in front of me, changed to the left. Oh, my God. You're actually having a full on fight on the motorway. I know. And then, so we were passing all the exits and I was like, I wonder where they're going to turn off.

Oh, by the way, out the window, we've got hands on both sides. Oh, no way. So they've got multiple people in the car. Yeah, there was a dog with his, out the window, we've got hands on both sides. Oh, no way. So they've got multiple people in the car. Yeah, there was a dog with his head out the window. Cute pup. Poor dog getting involved with us. We've got an arsehole owner. And then we had the driver and their passenger out the window, like, egging me on.

And I was like, I'm ready. I'm in a good mood. I'm happy to play this game. This time you wish you had one of those James Bond cars with like built-in missiles and road spikes and lasers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could have like lasered out their tires. If only your dash cam had been on.

I know. It's got no bloody SIM card in it, does it? And then they kept trying to get beside me. And this is when I was like, maybe I'm getting like kind of close to where I'm, I was like, oh, I don't of close to where I'm... Turning off. I was like, oh, I don't want to be the one to turn off first. Just in case they were to follow me.

I had to keep looping around my bloody neighbourhood. Maybe I'd have to just drive to Vaughan's house. Bring the problem to him. Yes. For Vaughan, I'll walk down the end of the driveway with the gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'll pull in and I'll be like, problem? Yeah, yeah, great.

Okay, good to know for next time because I do like these little motorway fights. Yeah. But I could feel I was like... Also, the gun's a Nerf blaster. I hope that's okay. In the dark? It's loaded up with darts. I'll turn off my light so we can't see that it's a Nerf blaster.

I think it will still look like a Nerf blaster. Well, it's very brightly orange. It's very orange, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's... But I could put the darts in it that stick to windows I could really like let them know Yeah yeah totally

Except when they're driving away and it's stuck to their window I'll be like I need those back Yeah well that'll do it That'll stop them Anyway so it was getting There's like one exit And then we go for a bit And then it's me

And I was like oh god If they don't take this exit And we're in the right lane here Still playing this stupid game Yeah And then I could feel. And I was like, oh, God, if they don't take this exit and we're in the right lane here still playing this stupid game. Yeah. And then I could feel that they needed to peel off and they took the exit before mine, not without like dirtying their horn and like looking at me.

And I was like, what should I do as I go by? So I just did that real like cheesy egging them on smile, like have a good night and wave them off. And that was the end of the fight. But boy, oh boy, I was like raring to go. That was wild. They could have followed you home. I would say there would have been like 30 centimetres between our bumper and nose at

any given moment. Hayley. Wow, we've got a real Vin Diesel on our hands. It was a little thrilling. It's those moments where like, yeah, I wish I was in a better car. Thankfully, they were in a shitbox. Right, okay. So it wasn't embarrassing that I was in my Mazda Accela.

It's a bull bar that I want in those situations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then you need to give them a nudge. Yeah, I wanted to nudge, and I don't respect my car, and I was like, I could. I could give them a nudge. They're going to slide out in front of me. You give them a nudge. If they've got a tow bar that goes through your radiator. And I was like, I could. I could give them a nudge. But you want to be careful. You give them a nudge. If they've got a tow bar that goes through your radiator.

And then hook me on. And then they're towing you. Yeah. Hello. On Sunday, Carl Peter Fletcher will be turning 45 years old. Yeah. Celebrate. Celebrate that.

Because not everybody gets to live that many years. Do you know, I know you're going to talk about people that have died before or at 44. In their 44th year. Whatever. We lost a celebrity overnight, guys. I know. Donald Sutherland. Yeah.

Keith is dead. I know. Donald Sutherland. Yeah, Keith is dead. Fantastic actor. He's been in loads of things. He's a great actor. Hunger Games was what young people would know him from. Yeah, but he's been around forever. Hell yeah, great actor. Shakespeare and all sorts of stuff. They said it was one of those, I mean, what was he, 88?

In a long battle with something? Long battle, they said. Long illness. 88's a good innings. Yeah. long battle with something? Long battle. They said long illness. 88's a good innings. Yeah. He smoked durries. Oh my God, that's double me. Double me.

Right now, that's double me. I'm going to lift him to my hundreds. That's my goal. Good luck. And I'm doing everything to make sure that happens. Good luck. Drinking. And I am just doing everything.

Casual ciggy. Occasional durries. No frequent drinking. And I am just doing every casual ciggy. Occasional drinks. No frequent drinking. Yeah. And I haven't been to the gym for, I reckon, two months. Come on, that's some people done. And they live forever. Yeah.

Top six people Fletch has officially outlived. Number six on the list, Heinrich Himmler. You all know him? He's a Nazi. Okay. Heinrich Himmler. Himmler was a Bav a Nazi. Okay. Heinrich Himmler. Himmler was a Bavarian chicken farmer who joined the Nazi party early on, participated in the 1923 attempt to overthrow the German government

and became head of Hitler's personal bodyguard, the SS. Right. In 1929, died at age 44 by cyanide. Would you have always thought he was older? I would have always. He looks, you should see photos of him. He, well before his death, he looked. Do I look better than Himmler?

Do I look way better than Himmler? Dude, you're aging so much better than Himmler. Thank you. You're aging better than a lot of people. Thank you. Heinrich Himmler. You look at this. So this was taken years before his death.

How old was Hitler when he died? A little bit older. Because you just assume these people because they were so bad that they were old. Hitler was only 56 years old. No, he wasn't old at all. He really crammed a lot of evil into those 56 years. Yeah, didn't he? I think he was brewing evil from his 20s. So this

is Himmler well before his death. He would have been in his 30s when he looked like he was in his 80s. Oh yeah, no, no. He looks like shit. Yeah, he looks like shit. I wouldn't, do you know what I mean? What a piece of shit. Despite the uniform.

Piece of shit. Number five on the list of the top six people Fletch has officially outlived, aka people that died age 44, Vlad the Impaler is number five. Oh, okay. Fantastic.

Vlad the Third or Vlad Dracula. Are all of these people on the list really bad people? No, we've got a real good one next time. I'm actually going to need my ox cord. Now, Vlad the Impaler is a little bit more my vibe. Okay.

Long in the face, but long hair, moustache. He's often considered one of the most important rulers of Walshashlian history and a national hero of Romania for his efforts to fight the Ottomans. His cruel methods of punishing his enemies go no to writing in the 15th century Europe, and scholars believe he inspired Bram Stoker's Dracula character. Yeah.

Oh, okay. And then he died at 44. That was how long people lived though back then. That was, yep. Isn't that insane that I'm the age now where most people died? Back in the day. You'd be like a grandfather as well. Yeah.

Our number four on the list of the top six people that you have officially outlived. Orcs Chord, please. Yes, Vaughn. Up and on. Marvin Gaye. Marvin Gaye died aged 44. Was it shot by his father?

Really? Wait, I didn't know that Marvin Gaye died by being shot by his father. Yeah. Accidentally. No, no. Legitimately. Murdered. Yeah, murdered by his father, Marvin Gaye Sr.

Okay. After an altercation between the two men. He shot him twice. What was the... With a.38 in the heart. What was the altercation over? He intervened in an argument between his parents. Oh.

So his dad was a piece of shit. Right. There's a lot of pieces of shit on this list. Yeah, why are you... Okay, right, yeah. No, but you outlived him, proving piece of shit. Right. There's a lot of pieces of shit on this list. Yeah, why are you... Okay, right, yeah. No, but you outlived him, proving you're not. Yeah. But yeah, his father killed him.

So he was born G-A-Y, and then he added an E to make it less homosexual. Oh, really? I thought you meant he was born gay. What, I just was afraid to say that. He was born G-A-Y. You think it's a choice, do you? Interesting take.

If you want to choose that lifestyle, then that's your choice. Number three on the list of the top six people that Fletch has officially outlived, a.k.a. people that died aged 44, Dustin Diamond, Screech from Saved by the Bell. Oh, my God, yeah. Remember Screech died a few years ago?

Did Screech die just before the pandemic? Or during? Poor Dustin Diamond. How did he die? 21. Yeah. During. Yeah.

Died during. Okay. Was it COVID? Oh, God, he had a sex tape. Yeah, remember? He didn't have a sex tape. No offense. Sure.

It was with Principal Belden. I don't even know where that name came from, but it just popped into my head. Number two on the list of the top six people Fletch has officially outlived. Number two, this man was shot and killed on his 44th and one day. Oh, yeah. So he was 44 and he got Pablo Escobar. Oh, yeah. Pablo Escobar was only 44.

Yeah, you think of him as being like heading towards his 60s. Yeah. Because he'd done so much. Yeah, right. He'd sold so many drugs. He also didn't age very well. No, he didn't age well. No.

And number one on the list of the top six people Fletch has officially outlived, people that died aged 44. This one blew my mind. Steve Irwin. How old was Steve Irwin? He was 44. I mean, everyone on this list has been 44 years old. What do you mean, how old was he?

Have you not been listening? It was called Tom Six People Fletch is Officially Outlived, a.k.a. People That Died Age 44. I just forgot momentarily, Warren. God, I think it's time to get him into a rhyme, and he's forgetting those. Oh, come on, dear. Come on, Brenda.

Let's get you back to bed. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Now, the listeners might not know this, but we're going away for a little bit. You're going to miss us. Yeah, Wednesday will be our last show for a couple of weeks. Next Wednesday.

Because then it's Matariki, and then we're taking a couple of weeks to just re-energise. For the listeners, there will be a midwinter Christmas cocktail special. Again, that's rolling out. And again, we won't be listening back to that. I can't.

It was recorded. Things happen. Although I will say we didn't get as messy this time, did we? Some of us. Well, well, well, well, well. Some of us held it. Looking across to the producer's booth. Yeah, some of us held it together.

Yeah, some of us didn't fall out of the Uber this time and have a lifelong scar on their knee that I'm still healing from a year ago. Yeah. Anyway, but we are going on holiday and I can't say where I'm going for many reasons. Okay. All of which can't be revealed. She's going to Russia. Back up her brothers.

Shut up. She said, we're going to put a pin in this. Well, there it is. That's where I'm off to. Wow, you've ruined that now. Yeah. I've been training. I said I haven't that now. Yeah. I've been training. I said I haven't been at the gym.

I've been at war school. But you're going via North Korea, right? To pick up. Well, yeah. Guys, don't tell everyone my location. I just don't want the fans bombarding me. She's taking Kim Jong-un's train from Korea to. Right.

Yeah. All the way across Russia. Well, it's the fastest way to get there. It's a holiday after all. I know. No, I'm there. But for my holiday in Russia and North Korea, I need some togs.

I need some new togs. Now, I don't know if you guys know this about me or if I've spoken about it very often, but you may look at my body and think 10 out of 10, pure perfection wouldn't change a thing. Oh, every day. Every day. Every day, it's a bit...

Oh, my God. I feel actually... Yeah, what are you doing that for? It's actually, it was a bit much. Once a week? Okay, once a month, I think. Oh, not enough, not enough. Oh wow, so I'm just like,

we've picked that dog then. I told you, the perfect balance is once a week. Once wearing your female colleague's body in a sexual manner once a week. Okay, once a week I would think. Any more you reprove, any less you're being approved. You're shaming me.

You're either a perv or a perv. Okay, let me redo that. Once a week. You're either approved or approved. Let me redo that. You may look at my body and think 10 out of 10 perfection wouldn't change a thing. Once a week, absolutely I would. Yeah, great. Thank you. Stop flirting with me. But I actually have

quite an exceptionally long torso. And very short legs. For a girl that's basically 5'11", it's all from neck to Yeah. And very short legs. For a girl that's basically 5'11", it's all from neck to fan, and the legs actually contribute quite little. I'm more leggy and limmy than I am. Yes, Aaron's the same.

He's all limmy. Your torso is average. I'm long torso, which is the opposite of what you want. Long in the bod, which means when I wear like a one piece or a jumpsuit or a leotard or a tog.

Cuts you in half. Absolutely slices me right down the middle. So because of the length. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've had to buy some special long togs. Oh my god, long lady togs. Long lady togs. Long lady. So there's this brand.

So LT, that stands for Long Torso. Oh yeah. On the tag here. Is that the name of the brand? No. Actually, I'll give them a shout out. I bought this non-spawn, but I bought this one piece for specifically because they do long torsos.

So can you see how much longer? Oh yeah, that is longer, isn't it? Is that one of the five North Korean approved Tog designs? they do long torsos. So can you see how much longer? Oh yeah, that is longer, isn't it? So because otherwise... Is that one of the five North Korean approved tog designs? Yes. Phew. Yeah, it's got full sleeves. You're going to be dipping into the Pinyong public pool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've bought from these guys before because of my long torso, but that was about 20 kgs ago. So I've got the same piece, but just a size up, but still long torso. How do they advertise their website? Is it like for long torso? Well, they do normal people talks. Okay.

But we got advertised it because I have two other friends that are LTs. Oh, yeah, long torsos. We're a group, so we're long torsos. Now, you became friends with them because of your love of long torsos? No, we found each other. These are marching girls. And then when you get your uniforms No, we found each other....jeweled love of long torsos? These are marching girls. Okay. And then when you get your uniforms fitted,

it's custom made to your body. I thought you may have found some, like, long torso friends on, like, a forum. I'm sure there's long torso Facebook groups. Reddit.com slash r slash long torso, mateys. Could be. Forward slash LTs. Yeah.

So we found them all together and we bought them and they're great. Ben, oh, look, that's what you get. You've got your little panty guard in there. But can you see, like, how good is that? Because if I wear a normal one-piece, your groin's comfortable but your boobs are out because you've got to

pull it down so then your top half is spilling. There seems to be and I'm by no means an expert at ladies and togs. Yeah. I don't spend any more than one hour a week looking at it. Only your wife. I know what she looks like in a pair of togs. Yeah. Lovely, verygs. Yeah. I don't spend any more than one hour a week looking at it. Only your wife. I know what she looks like in a pair of togs. Yeah.

Lovely, very happy. Yeah. But the fashion is that the bottom half seems to be cutting the arse in half and the vagina's almost on display. I know. You would think that I, being a fashion passion lady, that I would want to follow that trend, but absolutely not.

No. You know. I mean, we talked to a plastic surgeon about labia plastic. Yeah. I don't need to be there. I don't need to see that. We don't need that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Because it looks like some of those togs, it looks like

there's a curtain rail around the waist and then you adjust how far you want the curtain to go. I know and some want the curtain to go. I know. And some people, the curtain is... Yeah, very thin curtain. I've got... I need a full blind.

You know what I mean? You need a full... I need a full... Twist. Drop down Roman pipes. Drop sheet. I need full... I need shears.

You need blackout. And I need blackout curtains. Blackout curtains, thermal curtains. Drapes. I need drapes. Now, a fellow long-tors torso lady has just messaged in, what was the brand, please, again? Oh, I will absolutely, so we don't have too many of these.

Andy, it's Australian. Okay. And then you can go on. Andy. A-N-D-I-E. And then you go on and then you can select regular fit or long torso. Okay, and that's non-spawn. That's non-spawn.

They're quite expensive. Right. But good togs are for ladies. But look at that. Look how long that torso is. I'll show you. I'll hold it to my... Yeah, that's long.

Good. To my fan in my neck. It's almost too long. Would it fit me? Try it on. Oh, please don't. I'll put it on over top of my clothes. Because I don't want my...

Oh, I've ripped the panty guard out. You've taken the panty guard out, so I better keep my undies on for trying on the top. Is this my birthday present? This is your birthday gift. Today, final rankings. And this came to us because we relived that traumatic episode of Thomas the Tank Engine. Yes.

Where Henry, the big green engine, got bricked up. He got backed into a tunnel and a brick wall got built in front of him because he didn't want to do work because he'd just got a hot new paint job. Yeah. So they bricked him in and he was so sad and it really traumatised us. I saw somebody comment on one of the videos that we posted of this. John Oliver did an amazing... Oh, he rebuilt a whole lot of sets.

He rebuilt a whole set. He did a whole thing on it. If you can find that episode of Last Week Tonight, it's incredible. Thomas is CGI now. Oh, I know. It's awful. It doesn't stick.

It's like Bananas in Pyjamas. Yeah. Like Bananas in Pyjamas used to be like crazy suits and stuff and now it's all animated. We're going old school. I'm going to be honest apart from like Thomas

and Henry I don't really know many of the engines. There's James, there's Percy, there's Edward, Henry. Percy was a little

bitch. Why was Percy a little bitch? Percy was basically a green version of Thomas. Oh okay. Yeah.

It's just that big little bit. James was a great character. James was red. James was the only red engine, the main red engine. So I had a lot of time for James because I thought there needs to be more colour diversity. Yeah, but a diversity on this crew wouldn't have killed anybody. He was an ally. Yeah.

When we're ranking these Thomas the Tank Engine characters, are we including the Fat Controller? Yeah. Okay. I reckon just do engines. Just do trains. Okay. Who wouldn't have been on my list anyway?

Have they introduced a gay train? Oh, great question. I reckon lots of them were gay. Do you reckon there was a closet in Yeah Gay trains on Thomas Do you reckon maybe that's what

that episode was about He's been bricked behind a wall He's been put inside some sort of cupboard aka back in the closet There's a gay engine His name's Max

Max Introduced in February 2023 Oh that's a new one God they were really quick on that one, weren't they? What gender is Percy? Quickly make him gay.

Because there's so many characters now. Oh, no, that's a different, that's a Percy from a different thing. Because I was like, Percy and Monty went swimming nude together. I was like, how do trains go nude swimming? Yeah, that's quite a departure, isn't it? So Max is a gay train. There's some fan fiction here that Henry and Edward

are in a gay relationship. Someone just texted saying Percy was such a homosexual. Was Percy a homosexual? Red, do you think Percy was closeted? One of the closeted train.

I may have misread the big bitch energy. Right. You may have. Okay. Now, please tell me they've painted this train like rainbow colours.

Max. Is it pink? Is it pink? Is it pink? Pink or purple? Nah, not pink or purple. Rosie's pink, but that's because she's a girl train. Yeah, okay. Oh, that's good that we know that.

Well, I think I will go for my final rankings. Thomas, number one, ofs, because, you know. How predictable. Yuck. Yuck for you. That's embarrassing. Yeah, go on. And then what was the red one again?

The red one was James. Yeah, James. And then what was the one that got bricked up? Bricked up Henry. Henry and then Henry. Wait, was it Henry that got bricked up? Wait, what about Gordon? Because I feel sorry for.

Yeah, it was Henry that got bricked up. Oh, Gordon. Gordon. Nah. Remember Gordon? Gordon was a big blue train. Big blue train. He was like the blue version of Henry.

Right. Gordon's my number one. Then I'm going. I don't trust Gordon's eyes. Yeah, shifty. Shifty eyes. I like that he's shifty. He's got personality.

He's shifty. He's up to no good. He's a shenanigans man. What are your other top? I'm going Gordon is number one. I'm going to go Henry number two. Yep. Is Thomas going to be.

You're not even going to go Thomas. It's Thomas... It's called Thomas the Tangent. Well, it's called Thomas and Friends and I'm focusing on and friends now. Okay, right. I'm going to go Gordon. Then I'm going to go Henry.

Then I'm going to go... James. Okay. Thomas can get stuffed. He gets all the limelight. He's a diva. He's got his own green room. Yeah, you reckon it's got too much room?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's totally. He pulled it to you know who I am. Oh, he would. He was out on Ponsonby Road. Three. Three for me is Henry because he got bricked up and that was pretty depressing. Two for me is Toby.

I did have to Google what Toby's name was. Toby's one of those wooden trams. He looks like a cabin. Oh, yes. He looks like a cabin on rails. Like an old western that you'd see in an old western. Toby, you do Google Toby. It's an old tram.

I just read the history of Toby, actually. Oh, I like Toby. His tram line shut down and he went into a shed and he thought he was never going to get used again and then the island of Sodor purchased him for running around and doing bits and pieces. Do you know the trucks are the bad guys in Thomas? Are they? Trucks are. Because they steal the trucks are the bad guys in Thomas? Are they?

Trucks are. Because they steal the jobs. They steal the jobs of some of these guys. So think of the trains as traditional white people in England and think of the trucks as Romanians and Eastern Europeans that will work for less. Right. And there's a real racial divide between them.

Okay, right. And number one for me has got to be James. Just because he's a red engine, he was a no-nonsense dude, he was mid-sized, he could pull and push harder than anybody. James is number one. I wish I'd put Toby in my top three, because he looks like an old mate's garden shed. Yeah.

Toby rules, he's a shed on rails. So wait, who wins? Also, we've got no time for the Diesels. Those Diesels are bad jokers. No, they're evil. They're bad characters. I'dels are bad jokers. No, they're evil. They're bad characters. I'd say Henry and James are the winners. And they're gay.

Together. That's why we fly the rainbow flag for Henry and James, the gay trains. Sounds like you're pushing a gay agenda on some trains. I'm pushing it a little bit. I'm pushing it a little bit. Okay, I'm very outspoken bit. I'm pushing it a little bit. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Okay, I'm very outspoken about the fact that I love reality TV and then when I finished all my dating shows and I

put it to the team, what should I watch next? Producer Shannon was like, below deck, below deck. So when we had the opportunity to interview Captain Sandy, she was beside herself, as are we. Captain Sandy, welcome to the studio. Thanks for having me.

I'm really happy to be in Aisha's home country. Yeah. I know, we're very proud. We're very proud to have Kiwi on the show. We're actually her radio show of choice. I know that. Oh, you already know that. Our reputation precedes us.

She told me you're going to be on my favorite radio show. Oh, really? Yes. That's so nice of her to say. She does nothing but talk about us. It's embarrassing almost. You know, in our little thing, it said we weren't allowed to try to get spoilers out of you.

Are you a bit of a loose lips? No. Because you know what they say about loose lips? They sink ships. That's right. And thankfully, I haven't sank a ship yet. Have you ever had an accident where you've been the captain? No.

Okay. This isn't wood, by the way. It's formica. It's formica. Hey, but I've taken on water. I've had fires. But we've, not my fault, of course, but we saved the ship or the yacht. Yeah, wow.

Did you ever think when you were, because I don't know the process. I'm not from a sea family. We're land people. We are land people also. We love to know the process. I'm not from a sea family. We're land people. We are land people also. We love to visit the beach. Surrounded by the sea. I was born by the sea and we're not boat people. Did you grow up with boats?

Water skiing, small boats. Oh, okay. Yes, my whole life from the time I was like five on. Did you ever think that it would turn into this television career? Not at all. Having like cameras following you all the time. And we've got five on you right now. No, it was totally clueless.

Even when I signed up for the show, I had no idea the level and impact it would have. Are you used to it now? Yeah. I mean, the fourth wall works. Yeah. Like you forget they're there. Because I think it was quite, you know

we're so used to these like dating reality shows or following the sort of like boring lives of rich families. But taking it onto the sea and following the people like under the boat, that's what makes the show kind of sing, right? Yeah, it's like, what's that

movie and you follow the oh my god, I was about to say servants, and it made it sound like I'm calling you a servant, and you're not a servant. But there's like the rich people upstairs. But we are in the service business. Yeah, you're serving people. That's right, yes.

I love that because I think we would relate more to those people as the viewers, right, than the rich and fancy fizzy drinkers on top. Yes. Although I'd love to be one of them. Yeah. Do you ever get to join in? I suppose not with the captain. Well, yeah, you know, I have dinner or, yeah, I'm guest on other boats.

But yes, I'm driving the boat most of the time. But when we're on anchor, like, I do have dinner. Now, do you have to handle, because I do want to bring in our producer, Shannon, here, who I would say is, she's just behind the desk. That's Carwin. But we get them confused. Carwin Dota here, Brown, to help us out. Producer Shannon is

like, would you call yourself Shannon a super fan? Oh, like embarrassingly so. Do you get a lot of these, Captain Sandy? Well, why didn't you ask for a picture? I will soon, Sandy. I got nervous. You've got cool shoes and I got overwhelmed. Yeah, I have cool socks on. Blow Decks, her comfort show. You know how people

watch Friends over and over and over again because they know what's going to happen, so there's socks on. Yeah. Blowdeck's her comfort show. You know how people watch Friends over and over and over again because they know what's going to happen, so there's a bit of comfort. Blowdeck's her comfort show. I've watched it over all five spin-off shows, probably three times over. That's incredible. Yeah.

Thank you. Keep streaming on HeyYou. Please. I love HeyYou. It's my streaming service of choice, and I am obsessed with Blowdeck. Truly, it is the greatest show, so thank you. Yeah, well, thanks for watching. What are you thinking of this season? I am obsessed with Below Deck. Truly, it is the greatest show. So thank you. Yeah, well, thanks for watching.

What are you thinking of this season? I am loving it. I was talking to Aisha. Humble brag. I know. She keeps telling us she says, my personal friend Aisha. Explain the relationship to us, Shannon. Are you personal friends or have you DM'd her on Instagram? No. She DM'd me first, but only because Vaughn

asked her to. But then now we've talked as friends. And I loved the drama of the first two episodes with the provisioning. How insane. And how you had to go to another yacht and ask for wine. But this season is... Wait, you had to go to another yacht and ask for wine? Come on. You ever watched it?

Well, she's only seen season one. She's done it chronologically. I am. I'm literally starting at the very beginning because I've always been into dating reality shows, but Shannon's the one who's like below deck as number one. Well, it still gives you that dating, you know, there's still romance, there's still

yelling, there's still drinks being thrown. That Gail and Nathan didn't hook up. No, I was, I don't want them to hook up. She's got a boyfriend. That's right. She's got a boyfriend. I know. Well, no, she's got a boyfriend. Yeah, I know. We're in a moral. Hey, what does it say?

It says C. Well, no, that's the thing. They were like, let's go find somewhere without cameras and they were walking around and the camera crew caught them and they didn't hook up. Oh, this is gossip.

It's gossip. This is a bit of you, Hayley, through and through. Yes, well, when you're on a boat, what happens on the boat stays on the boat. Aren't you about to get married? Except for when you're filmed.

I did just get married. You just got married. Do you say this to your wife? What happens on the boat stays on the boat? How was your trip? Well, it was on the boat. I'm new about to get married. Except for when you're filmed. I did just get married. You just got married. Do you say this to your wife? What happens on the boat when she stays on the boat? How was your trip? Well, it was on the boat. I don't know.

I'm not trying to drag your name through the mud here. She's trying to get you in trouble. That's what she's trying to get you in trouble. So this is season nine now. Is that right? Season nine.

Season nine. Season eight for me, but season nine Erin. Of the whole show. And that's on Hey You, which is like the amazing home of all reality TV. It's where you can lose months of your life. How do they find the guests that are on the boat? Because they often don't come off looking great.

They just look like rich snobs. Yeah, a little bit. They cast them. I think they're casted. Right. I was like, why would people do that? And they pay. Oh, wow. Okay. They pay money.

Wow. They're not going to get a nice stay on a luxury boat. No, no. And I think what happens is when the cameras are on them, something happens. I'm not sure. And then they blame the producers for their bad behavior. Yeah.

Oh, but they start to act out. Yes. Yeah. I think it would be interesting to do like a below deck with New Zealand people because we're so chill and like low key. And anytime we do a version of a reality show, we're a bit low buzz for it. They'll be like, you slept with my husband. I'll be like, oh, you're sorry.

Sorry, I won't do it again. Did I? Which one was he? Oh, sure. I did actually sleep with him. Do you have a favourite pirate, fictional or historical? Well, I mean, you know, why can't I say Johnny Depp? Captain Jack Sparrow.

Yeah, that's a great pirate. That's pretty good. What does the most difficult customer look like to you? Like, what does it look like? When they're blatantly rude to the crew. Yeah, yeah. When they're, like this season, like you'll see, you'll see.

When she catches up. Yes, when you catch up. If you catch up. A nine season slime. We've got a holiday coming up, so I'll be absolutely diving in. Yeah.

And getting all seasons under the belt. What's your favourite animal to see at sea? Dolphins? Of course. It's got to be dolphins, right? Yeah.

Have you ever seen a whale? Yes, absolutely. She's the captain of a boat. Yes, I've seen a lot of sea lions. You know they're flying fish as well. Yeah. Have you seen a manatee? Of course.

Have you seen a manatee? I'm from Florida. I think it would go dolphin, manatee, whale for me. No, it's got to be whale. Orcas. Orcas number one. I've never seen an orca. I saw an orca in the ocean once and I cried.

It was sort of a knee-jerk reaction. It was a pot of orcas and I just burst into tears. What do you think about the whales that are sinking the boats? Yeah, like they're doing it for fun, aren't they? Get out of their home, you know? Yes. Have you seen that Instagram thing, stay out of the shark's house? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's kind of like complaining about tigers eating you if you're in the jungle. Yeah. What would you do that to be? Although that would be a great season finale, the orcas. Those spoilers. Yeah, I don't want to give away? Although that would be a great season finale. The Orcas. Don't spoil it. Yeah, I don't want to give away anything. I don't think we're there. So the season's all in the mid.

Where is your favorite place in the whole world to go? Would it be around there or would it be like the Caribbean, somewhere in the Caribbean? I get this question a lot. I bet. So it's everywhere. You know, the boat's the destination. But I prefer the south of France because there's so many cool, vibey places. I love the Amalfi Coast, Portofino, the Lavorian Coast.

Spain's epic. I just, you know, the Bel Air. With all this travel, how are you not the size of a house? Because when I travel overseas, I'm just like pasta, pasta, pasta. You can eat the pasta, but it's not full of everything that America adds to it. But it's like, but you're walking everywhere. Yeah, true, true. So you walk everywhere. Are you going to get a chance to get out on the water

while you're in New Zealand? Probably not, because my schedule's packed, but I did get to go in Sydney Harbour, which was really cool, and I went to the see the animal. I did see the Tasmanian devil. Oh, wow. Great animals. One of my favourites. Well, next time, next time when you come back to New Zealand, we're going to friend the boat. No, we're going to friend the manky.

We're going to friend the boat. She's talking a bit of Malfi. We can't take her out and expect to compete. No, we've got a friend with a boat. We've got a manky. We've got a friend with a boat. She's got a bit of mouthy. We can't take her out and expect to compare. No, we've got our friends have a small, four-person fishing boat. We'll take her out on that,

sure. Yeah. Listen, I grew up on small boats. Yeah, exactly. She's not on the boat, it's the manky. But they're more fun, you're closer to the water.

Yeah, not for me, I get violently seasick. There's no toilet on this one as well and I do have IBS so we'll get to know each other a little bit better before we do that. Captain Sandy, thank you so much for coming in and as well, and I do have IBS. So we'll get to know each other a little bit better before we do that.

Captain Sandy, thank you so much for coming in and answering our questions. And I cannot wait to binge all seasons, including season nine, which is out now. Thanks for having me. Thank you, Sandy. Brins in soon with a news update. And then after that, we are going to catch up with him and find out how his comedy night went went and saw his first ever stand up

last night you and the girls went along we did go along last night packed out crowd yeah and really good spoiler alert

really good reviews do you know what if it wasn't good we probably would have just not mentioned it again do you know what I mean imagine we brought him in to be like

boo you bombed also it's my pick for Friday Flashback I'm gonna make you feel really old are you because this song came out 16 years ago and I'm like what you what really 16 years ago but I was four so yeah

shit what came out when I was four I have to think about that because I was listening to like nursery rhymes so your 21st is like it must be what September October coming up yeah 21st is like, it must be what, September? October. Coming up, yeah, 21st. Okay, wow. Oh, my God, I'm going to get a big key and a sparkly glass

and I want you guys to do a speech. Great, okay. That's the first time I've mentioned it, that I want you guys to do a speech my 21st. Okay, yeah. Speaking of people who are, how do you laugh at the idea of me being 21? Oh, no, I was laughing at the idea that you've got all of these friends that are stand-up comedy.

Choose you guys to do my 21st speech. Yeah, I found that amusing. Not the fact that you're definitely, what, mid-40s? Mid-40s! I am closer to 30 than I am to 40. Speaking of birthdays, am I getting a present soon? Like in the next hour? You guys?

No, it says Bryn Comedy Update and then it says Michael Jackson is in studio. That's very believable. Because I know that's what you guys put a decoy thing in there

and he's dead so I know it must be about my birthday. Well, Carwin did say and we would never have him in the studio. Carwin did say should we put like a decoy

like what should we put in the break? I said nah, just put it something obvious so Michael Jackson's in studio. Okay. did say, should we put like a decoy? Like, what should we put in the break? I said, nah, just put it something obvious. So Michael Jackson's in studio. Okay. Okay, I'm getting a birthday present.

Well, maybe. Okay. Maybe the present is just, our presents is your present. Okay. Such a shit gift, our presents. Now, speaking of young people,

Gen Z, apparently, and we may have to gather some thoughts and prayers. Okay. Apparently, Gen Z consider themselves the most vacation deprived out of any generation, sometimes going as long as six months between holidays.

Like holidays, holidays, like going away holidays. Wait, Carmen, were you saying, Carmen, Gen Z, weren't you saying all of your friends are in Europe at the moment? Yeah, I literally just saw off like four friends

going to Europe for the next like month. I don't, I don't really believe this. I know, so this is from New Zealand, this is a research about New Zealanders

but it's from Expedia. Okay. It's called, it's their 24th vacation deprivation report found that Gen Z is in New Zealand and more vacation deprived than any other generation. I honestly think it's because they see social media and in their mind everybody but them is travelling.

Correct. Also they attribute lots of it to guilt. Like that Gen Zers feel a lot of guilt about taking time off of work. But then they go on to describe their version of a long break between holidays as being six months. Right. Now, it's hard to get whether that means like a long weekend because we get to enjoy some of those

and we get a good break in the middle of the year. I think it's going to be... Or if they mean like a big overseas Europe trip because they're also, the younger generations are focusing more on bucket list destinations and massive trips rather than like, I'm going to pop away to this place for a weekend and then this thing and that's enough to sort of keep me going. Right.

I think you're right that they're looking at people who are like in Europe right now, you know, in bloody Italy with their bikinis and their umbrellas and their Aperol spritzers. Yeah. But it's also harder in that age group and generation because you're still, you know, getting into those good jobs. Totally. And then you don't want to say, hey, can I take four weeks off to go and prance around. And kind of came of age where most people did travelling

during a global pandemic. Yeah. Where travelling was, the kibosh was put on travelling. As a little side note to this research for our travel deprived Gen Zers, we were just chatting off air about whether or not doing a quick vibe check on

if we are going to Europe for summer, if people are going on big holidays, are we posting about it or are we still feeling like that's a bit much? Remember when Georgia went to Europe last summer? I need to ask, how do remember when Georgia went to... Oh, my God. Went to Europe last summer. Actually, I need to ask, how do I unhide her? Oh, you hid her, yeah.

I hid quite a lot of people last summer when we were, you know. I mean, it's wild to me you'd want to unmute somebody that you've muted. But I am aware of how to do it. But it was only because she was having the most perfect, delightful... Oh, my God. It wouldn't stop. She didn't stop rubbing it in. I know.

She's like, now I'm in Louis Vuitton. Do you know what I mean? So, yeah. Crush it's money. Big crush it's money there. Are we posting or are we not posting? Give us a vibe check. Well, I mean, that could be a good little poll, actually.

Yeah, we should actually in preparation because it's coming up to those school holidays in the middle of the year. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. We have Bryn Ruddican,anau newsreader in studio. Yes, who last night did his first ever stand-up comedy gig. Yeah, thank you so much for coming, by the way. Oh, absolute pleasure.

Wouldn't have missed it for the world. You're most welcome. Well, you weren't there. Enjoyed the time. You weren't there. No, I know. Jared, you weren't there. Just thought I'd say it.

Fletch, you didn't show up. I did contemplate. I had a couple of beers. He's got no excuses because he lives the closest. Yeah, but I prioritise sleep now. He does. Yeah. And that's why I'm tired in his room.

It takes a lot to get me out past 8 o'clock. Well, me, Shannon and Carwin went and we were so excited. Now, I did have a little insight because Justine Smith was emceeing. And she showed me the set list and you were last. Headliner. Headliner. It's a compliment. Is that the headliner?

The last person? Well, when you go last, it shows a vote of confidence towards you that you would be able to... Because you can't end on a fizzle. It wasn't alphabetical. Bradkin's towards the last part of the alphabet. No, it wasn't alphabetical, was it?

No. I don't know how they came up with the line-up, to be honest. Well, they'd worked with you guys on your sets and stuff. Everyone was doing their first ever stand-up gig, right? That's right. Were you nervous because you didn't appear to be? Well, I took some rescue remedy and had a whole bottle of Fanta

before I went on stage. Yeah, great. So I needed to piss my pants when I was on stage. You couldn't tell when you were on stage. You were every bit the professional comedian by the time we got to you. And I was nervous for you yeah because my first ever stand-up gig i did i was terrible i bombed so hard i came out and i insulted the mc and then

i bombed for five minutes and i came off stage and that was it that's still a bitch wow that was so quick yeah well that's what he feels he's speaking from the heart first thing he's ever said to me from the heart, and that was that. Still a bitch. You can tell by how quickly he said it. He didn't have to put it through the filter. Now, you were in studio with us yesterday morning,

and you were running through a few of your jokes. Yeah, workshopping. You're workshopping. Some of which we didn't hear last night. They were just for us. But you did tease with us that you were going to do a joke about tsunamis, and here it is. I love seeing people disappointed especially when a tsunami doesn't show up

there's so much hype around tsunamis we have big evacuation drills We have tsunami evacuation signs. And when a tsunami siren goes off, what do we do? We will jump in our cars. We freak out. We panic and we flee to the beach. It's good. It was so good, Bryn.

Everyone was laughing so much. I think because by that point in the night, people had had a few drinks. No, no, no. It wasn't that at all. It wasn't that at all. It wasn't that at all, was it, Shannon? It was like they were just absolutely loving it. Have you caught the bug, do you reckon?

I will never be doing it again, I've decided. No. Why? Well, you know, it's a bit of a hassle. Like, Fletch didn't show up because it was a late night. I know. And I saw you looking around like that, like, where is he? Where is he? And you saw us and you were happy, but not as happy as Fletch.

I would have walked around the corner. I had a late night. I got into bed at 9.30. Oh, wow. Yeah, really late. Yeah. So that's the end of your comedy career, one and done. Yeah, pretty much.

Moving on to the next thing. Oh, what's next? I want to make a submarine. Okay, so what is involved in that? Because the last time some person had an idea to make a submarine. Okay, so what is involved in that? Because the last time some person had an idea to make a submarine, it did not end well. You don't have to go to the Titanic, though. You can just own around a lake.

Yeah. Just off the Rangitoto, you know. Oh, beautiful out there. I don't know if that's... What qualifications do you have or sort of engineering skills do you have? I don't have any, but neither did the guys who went down to the Titanic. Yeah, but that sort of showed in the end, didn't it, when it imploded? Yeah.

Well, there's YouTube how-to videos. I don't know that how to build a submarine is on YouTube. Those drug smugglers make them, don't they? You seem to know a lot about... No, they're always in the news. They catch them, don't they? You seem to know a lot about... No, they're always in the news. They catch them, don't they? They try to get drugs from South America to the USA. Or they cut out or run out of gas or something bad

after the submarine and they fall to the top. Well, I wasn't going to do it for that reason, but just to go and explore, you know? People are upset at the idea of you not doing comedy anymore. They want you to do it every week. Oh, well, sucks for me. You know what the world's got? The world's got too many comedians,

not enough submarine builders. Exactly. So I need. Sucks to me. You know what, the world's got too many comedians, not enough submarine builders. Exactly. Okay, so next time we talk. So I need a billionaire to fund this, so. Don't look at us. Fletch wouldn't even spring

20 bucks to come and see you last night. Was it $20? I thought you got us free tickets. Well, I got a free ticket, yeah. Oh, right. I got a free ticket. Wait, so you didn't pay

to support the up-and-coming comedians? She doesn't want competition. She's not getting paid. She's pulling the rope bloody ladder up behind her. You didn't get paid for that, did you? No. Yeah, no, of course not.

It's stand-up comedy. Who do you think's making this money? Yeah, fair enough. Bryn, we were so proud of you. Thank you. And I would encourage you to do it again. Yeah, do it again.

Do another one. Yeah, so good. Well, we'll see how my submarine career goes. So you're going to take a pause, submarine for a bit, step back in, maybe tell some jokes. What about jokes on a submarine? First ever under the sea stand-up comedy gig.

I reckon it would have been done. It would have been done in Dubai or something weird. First ever stand-up comedy gig in a submarine made by an unqualified engineer. Bingo. There you go. I'll be your headliner. Done. Very niche.

8.21. Let's Very niche. 821. Let's celebrate Fletch next. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Okay, we're running out of time. Let's crack on. Presents for me because my birthday is on Sunday. Before we get to that, it's not only your birthday.

Hayley, I've told you. Remember my old neighbour Justine when I lived in Teatitude? Yeah. I've told you so many great stories about Justine. Sorry, just turn your headphones off. Just for a sec. I don't think he's going to respond well to hijacking the birthday because he was already upset about Shannon and Morgan.

Having the birthday. Having the birthday this week. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He can wait a moment. It's Justine's birthday today. Nobody cares about your old neighbour Justine's birthday. What a horrible thing to say. What a horrendous thing.

I've got gifts for you and I feel like giving them to Justine. Justine deserves a gift from you. Far far more than you Justine's a good person Not a greedy Not a greedy greedy Should we all chip in for Justine And get her a nice like $200, $300 gift She's actually not materialistic So she won't actually accept gifts

Which means she'll appreciate it even more Yeah which means she'll be so overwhelmed And blown away by our gifts Yeah Oh wow We should make this about Justine's birthday. Yeah, I think so.

How old's Justine turning? 50. Oh, that's a big birthday. That's something to celebrate. 45. Wow. Congratulations. Oh, wow.

Should we sing? To Justine. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Justine. Not flinch. She's a brat. Justine only.

Justine only. 50 today. Happy birthday to you. Wow. It's my birthday and I'm being bullied. So tell me more about this beautiful Justine. Oh, salt of the earth. She'd do things like make a lovely pie for Pud

and then be like, we've got too much. Take it next order this month. Oh my God. This bastard wouldn't do that. She wouldn't eat all the pie? No. I'd eat all the pie. You'd eat all the pie. I've got too much, take it next order this month. Oh my God, this bastard wouldn't do that. She wouldn't eat all the pie? No, I'd eat all the pie. You'd eat all the pie.

I'd eat all the pie, yeah. She'd feed you cats too. She would if we went away and feed the cats, yeah. Happy birthday, Justine. It's my favourite day to celebrate Justine. Well, actually,

we're out of pets now that lived in Te Atatu with us. She'd send us a lovely message when a pet passed away. Two cats and a dog don't want to talk about it. Endless chickens as well. What's happening on that farm?

Okay. We have some on that farm? Okay. We have some presents for you. Okay. The first, I want you to know that I slaved in the kitchen. You did say you were doing

for cooking yesterday. For hours and hours and hours. I definitely didn't make a botched batch that Aaron ate and go to the supermarket and replace them. Okay.

For some reason, you've been going- Oh my God. Belgian biscuits, my favourite biscuits. You've been going on about Belgian biscuits for so long now

and they're definitely in the container because they're homemade and not because they took them out of the wrapper. Wait, so you tried to make some

and it didn't work. They're a very hard biscuit to make. They are a hard biscuit. They puffed up. Wait, hard biscuit. They puffed up. Wait, they shouldn't puff up too much. Did you put baking powder in? Too much, yeah.

Oh, okay, yeah, right. Some Belgian biscuits. Oh, thank you. Now, that's just a little side gift for you to nibble on because I know you like your Belgians. Which you made by hand. Thank you. Slaved.

Slaved, okay. Okay, here's your second gift. It's big. Oh, my God. It is big. Big and heavy. It is heavy. That's cool wrapping paper.

Cool wrapping paper. Yeah, I know. It's like pink and it's got sea creatures on it. Tide pods. We got you some tide pods. These are the new Oxy Tide Pods too. Oh, okay. It's got Oxycontin in it.

So the kids are really yumming those up. Oh, you can eat them? Oh, yeah. Get addicted to drugs. Vaughan and I have come up with a cocktail for tonight. Okay, here's your actual gift from all of us at FVHZM. Why do I think this is going to be... Why have you got that?

Okay. Now, every morning, one of my favourite parts of the day is that... It's a knife. It's been engraved. Fletcher's apple knife. Because every day we enjoy one slice of apple. So, says someone at work, right, there's only one knife to cut apples. There's that or there's the ginormous chef's knife.

But someone in the office hides it somewhere in the kitchen so that only they can use it. I know. Is it you? No, I've got my own knife. You've got your own knife. You've got your own. And it says Fletcher's Apple Knife.

And so no one can steal it because it's mine. Yeah, and it's sharp because it's new. So if they do steal it. It's that Victronox knives too. They're great knives. Oh, yeah. Swiss. You know they're the best at knives.

Yeah. And hiding in mountains while Nazis pillage Europe. Sitting on the fence. Great at sitting on the fence. Guys, thank you for my own apple knife. That's actually a really practical gift. Yeah, I know. I can probably use them to cut your homemade biscuits that you made me.

What, they'll be buttery soft? Need to be cleaned beforehand as due to the engraving, it may have metal shavings in it. Why did you just read that like it's from an email? It is an email. Rowan just sent through the engraving guy said to wash it. Well, we'll give it a clean and then can we have a little slice of your apple? Because it is a gift but it's also a little selfish.

That's a great gift, guys. Thank you so much. It is a little selfish because you can all use it. It's also because we like to get our daily slice of apple. That's the best sort of gift to give someone. One that will benefit you personally. Like that time you got Sade a power drill. Yeah. She's never used that power drill. Or like when I bought Aaron a Satisfyer Pro 2.

Fact of the Day is next. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day, day. We've all got Belgian biscuits. Belgian biscuit made me very salivary. Same.

Salivary. Very salivary. Is it in or out? It made me very salivary. Is that in or out? The salivary of a majora. It may mean very salivary. Same. I'm full of saliva. Good. I like it.

Better than a dry mouth. Well, it's space week here at Fact of the Day. I've been loving this. So much more than calendar week. This has been inspired as well. Inspired by a trip. A recent trip that you've taken. Mysterious.

A mysterious recent trip and I believe we will find out more about this next week yep okay well

today's fact of the day is about this this stars okay this stars this stars

is it in honour of the full moon the stars the solstice and Matariki coming up you hadn't thought of any of those but that is a happy coincidence

that I'm willing to say, yeah, absolutely. That's what I was thinking of when I was sent this fact by Niamh. Do you want to know how many stars are estimated to exist? Niamh Gayford. Niamh Gayford. Clark, what is Niamh Gayford?

Niamh Aroha Ardern Gayford. No, not the old Prime Minister's daughter. There are one... Don't call her the old prime minister. Former. Former prime minister's daughter. There are one septillion stars.

Septillion? Septillion. That is one followed by 24 zeros. And that's just stars. That's not planets. That's just the stars that planets go around. Here I was trying to become a billionaire.

Yeah, you need to become a septillionaire. A septillionaire is so much. Well, our closest star is of course the sun and Stanford University did some recent calculations

that says every second our sun loses 4.7 million tonnes of mass as energy. We're getting small. It's eventually going to burn itself out, but it's a long way away. How often does it lose that? Every second. 4.7 million tons.

That's a lot of weight to lose. How's it doing it? Oh my God, shredding keto. Sun's on keto. It's keto. It's HIIT classes. Intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting.

It's everything. OZN. OZPIC. OZPIC. It's not putting on, it's not taking on any mass because it's not hungry because of OZPIC. How long have we got? Oh, we've got ages. We'll, put it this way, we'll have destroyed this earth well before it destroyed. Oh, thank God, because I was like, we're going to have to shunt the earth towards a new star.

Nah. If we all just went like that, it was. Two massive rockets on each side. Yeah. Yeah. Be so loud. Yeah, it would be. But, you know, move us to where it's used to. Yep.

Easy to go to sleep too because the sun's gone out so it's dark. It'll be so cold. It'll be noisy and dark. It'll be a lifelong sleep, I think, if that happens. It will be. It will be the long sleep. So today's fact of the day is our sun is losing 4.7 million tonnes of mass as energy every second. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There is a woman, she was with her boyfriend for six and a half years.

Okay. She had decided to go on a trip with her friends to a concert. This is a New Zealand couple, right? Aye. Yeah. Aye. And then she said to her boyfriend, hey, can you pick me up at 10? Yeah.

Drive me to the airport and then stay at my house and look after the dogs. Okay. Right? And he was like, yeah, absolutely. Wow. Six years? And not cohabitating? Dreamy.

Anyway, so the next morning. Are they splitting dog costs? What's the deal here? This is what's her dog. Well, she said stay in the home, look after her dog. Right. Very independent, it seems. Anyway, don't worry about the status of their relationship

because she's taken him to small claims court. Oh, wow. Because he didn't show up the next day. Thus, she missed her flight and had to book a new one. Thus, she had to find accommodation for her dogs, which all cost money. Right. So she lodged a claim with the disputes tribunal.

Small claims court. Small claims court, which claimed that she had a verbal agreement for a ride to the airport. And that verbal agreement was a legally binding agreement from her now ex-boyfriend. She's left him because of this. However, the tribunal referee was like, nah.

No, it's got to be a signed contract, right? If she's going to go on that. Social arrangements are not legally binding contracts and therefore it's not appropriate for the disputes tribunal. Wow, she's really letting this go, isn't she? I know. She sounds like fun. Yeah. It's like fun. Yeah.

It's like all you did was make basically a social arrangement. But also he did let her down. Yeah. By the sounds of it, the last straw. Yeah. Now, do you imagine small claims court? I've never, I've come close, but I've never been involved in a small claims.

Did you do it? I have. You have. It's one of our builders who did a small claims. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. That would you do it? I have. You have? It's one of our builders who did a small claims. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. That would happen a lot, I think. It was kind of during COVID times, so it was all online.

Oh, okay. We had a Zoom meeting. Yeah, right. And he didn't answer the Zoom, didn't dial into the Zoom. Is that good, though, if they don't turn up? It was real good. Good for you. Because he didn't come prepared,

had all the time in the world to get prepared and everything, didn't. Yeah. And then asked for a re... Like a new date. Yeah, a new date. Sounds like Donald Trump's strategy. Just kept pushing it down the road. The judge was like, we don't have time for this.

The judge? I suppose they were a judge. We're like, we don't have time for this. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. And then, yeah, reconvening was what it was called. Reconvene. Yeah, yeah.

And then in the end, they were like, we were like a week out from the reconvene and they called us and said, he's just said, what do you want? Yeah. Because do you think though, like because it's not like a full, you're not going to court, like the court in the justice system,

that these small claims, you'd get some BS like this. My boyfriend didn't turn up. I know. It's just like, you just want to bang their heads together. Be like, why are you wasting our time? Yeah, why are you wasting everyone's time here?

Let it go. Move on. This is our idea for a phoner, which is, why did you end up in a small claims dispute? Yes. Because there'll be lots of things. I'm sure there's lots of tradies, lots of sort of exchanges of services that have backfired and owing money and stuff. Or like relationships, stuff like this.

How often does that go to small claims? Yeah. I don't know. This is what I want to know, is why you ended up in a small claims dispute. Do you reckon anyone would have gone to small claims because they bought someone like a gift and they were like broke up and they were like,

I want it back? Probably, maybe like an engagement ring. Maybe engagement rings. Who owns it? Because I don't know. But how does something like that get to actually small claims court? Like is there someone before? Well, she applied to it.

So you can, you go online and you can just make a claim. Because surely someone would be like, that's stupid. We're not going ahead with that. But I guess they have to hear it. They have to hear it. But that was the response. I actually don't know how it made the news in terms of how it got taken from them responding, saying. Do you think when they took the small claims, they had no idea the news would pick up on it, eh?

Yeah. Because now they just look a bit petty. Yeah. The referee was like, you can't be compensated for the loss of money because your boyfriend didn't pick you up to go to the airport. Okay, 0800 Giles at M. We want to take your calls now.

Text through 9696. What did you go to small claims court over? We want to know this morning if you've ever had to go to small claims because a story's gone public after a ruling that an ex-girlfriend cannot get money back from her partner who didn't pick her up for the airport. Yeah, so she booked a new flight and get someone to look after the dogs. Yeah.

Huge inconvenience to her. And we asked why you ended up in a small claims dispute. Jack, you ended up over rent. I did. So what's kind of the short story? Oh, it was late at night and I'd forgotten to pay the rent, so I did our job and I accidentally sent it to someone I went to school with. Oh, someone you went to school with?

Why did you have their bank account? What was that, sir? Why did you have their bank account, someone you went to school with? Oh, I couldn't even remember. Was it just saved in the list and you just clicked the wrong... It was saved under my landlord, under my

payee, so I clicked it. About $800, I think I accidentally sent him. Oh my, so you sent him your rent and then what? He didn't want to pay it back? Yeah, well, I realised straight away what happened, so you sent him your rent and then what? He didn't want to pay it back. Yeah, well, I realised straight away what happened. So a message ended up getting blocked straight away, basically. Oh, shit. Oh, no.

We sent a small claim report on it. And the police report ended up taking him to claims court. He never showed up. Whoa. And did you... He ordered his money back immediately, basically. Wait, so did you get the money back Immediately basically Wait so did you get The money back from him

Um He's still paying it back He's paying it back For like $5 a week Oh For God's sake What did he do Did I

I may have missed What did he do with it Did that ever come to light Like What was the money spent on Spent it No idea What a POS

What a POS Yeah he's a POS What a POS. Yeah, he's a POS. What a POS straight away. Like, you just give it back to someone. It's not yours. It was the same bank account as well, so it went through straight away, so it wasn't like he didn't know it was there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, same thing. Yeah. Oh, no. Like a $5 a week? It's almost insulting. What an eye, yeah. I can't believe that. Like, that's not against the law.

I guess, yeah, it was your fault, wasn't it? It was an error. Banking error in his favour. It was my fault. It was. It wasn't a police matter because I'd done it. Yeah, exactly. So they put an initial proper charges on it.

Oh, my God. Annoying. I think I'd lose my cool. I'd just go around there and smash his car or something. Yeah, I'd do the same. He was up in Auckland for problems. Oh, we'll do it. We're here.

Wasn't even in the same city. Jack, thanks for your call. Some messages in. What have you ended up in small claims court over? So many. Yeah. I took my ex to the dispute, strobe funeral for a claim of her

and then her boyfriend on damages of his car, which I had caused. I caught them cheating on me, so I took a hollow block and smashed them. So yeah, they caused a fair bit of damage to somebody's car and got taken to the

small claims to try and get their money. Sounds like a damage to property pretty open and shut case there. Sounds like what I would have done to that guy's car if he hadn't given me my rent back

that I'd accidentally given him. We took our neighbour to small claims for a vet bill when he shot our cat. What? How is that not a like cruelty to animals charge? 100% would be. What? How is that not a, like, cruelty to animals charge? 100% would be.

What? Maybe there was no evidence. An ex-very rich landlord took us to small claims to pay for $5,000 to re-sand the floorboards at the end of our tenancy. We found out from discussions from surrounding neighbours that they'd done it to all of his prior tenants so it made around $20,000. That's wear and tear, man.

That's a piece of shit. That's flaws. The prior tenants appeared for us at the tribunal, much of the landlord's horror. We were the first to challenge it and I doubt he's tried it again since. Good on you. Because, yeah, people doing that.

Not paying for your renos. Yeah. I mean, there are some genuinely... How many times can you sand a floor before it's bloody paper? It starts wobbling under your feet. They're not. A lot of those Wood boards Don't have that much wood on them

You're supposed to sand them every 10 years Or something And that's wear and tear Of part of renting What are you supposed to wear slippers Mine was getting $4000 back from a certain airline That I had to pay for a new ticket

Due to their mistake. The case didn't make it to the hearing after initially rejecting my claim. They offered repayment in full once they received notification from

the disputes tribunal hearing. Good advice for anyone battling with an airline or a bank. Just take them to the disputes tribunal that one letter seems to fuck their ideas up.

Well, they don't want the bad press from it, do they? Yeah. Many years ago, a mechanic took me, as I didn't want to pay the bill after the thing that he'd fixed caught on fire one kilometre, less than one kilometre after I left the shop.

Okay, so everything's pointing to him. Yeah. One kilometre, you're on fire. With asking this morning, what got you to small claims court? And there are some great stories coming in. Read second from the top, Vaughn. Oh, I might need a ref.

Oh yeah, my student babysitter slash cleaner took me to court and she said it was too dangerous when I asked her to clean the oven as part of her job. I mean, those oven cleaners are heavy chemicals but don't be a cleaner. Put them on the floor.

You're a cleaner. You're a cleaner. You're a babysitter slash cleaner. Was it a Gen Z cleaner? Sounds like a Gen Z cleaner? Sounds like a Gen Z. That's screaming Gen Z. Screaming big Gen Z. And good morning to our Gen Z listeners.

Good morning, we love. Who have just woken up. No, they're not out of bed yet. No, yeah. Not even listening because they're working from home today. And up at 10. The Gen Z doctor we know, he's not even working today. Anonymous joins us.

Good morning. Good morning. You were double charged By a day A doggy daycare Yes Actually I realise I've been to

Small claims court twice So maybe it's a me problem Oh yeah I reckon Third time It's a you problem You know what they say If you meet an a-hole

In the morning You met an a-hole You met an a-hole But if you're meeting A-holes all day You're the a-hole So if you're always Ending up in small claims

That saying's Also got way more sting When you actually say ar-hole. So if you're always ending up in small claims, that's you. That saying's also got way more sting when you actually say arsehole. Yeah, I know it does. Well, don't, please don't swear. It's nine o'clock, have some respect for that. For the ears. We only swear between the hours of six and seven thirty. So Anonymous, you got double

charged, so you went to small claims. Did you win? Well, no, they actually took me. I was on mat leave and, um. Maternity. I'm just translating. Oh, I thought you were taking some time off to look after your mat. No, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one. Um, but I had two dogs that used to go to daycare and I stopped sending them because I was home all the time. Yeah. Um, and I got an email from them saying, you know, invoice, but I'd been duplicated invoices all the time from them. So I just didn't think anything of it until I got a notice that I was being brought to the small claims court.

Oh, God, they didn't give you much warning, did they? No, they didn't even call me, didn't text me. Oh, for God's sake. I'd been going there for three years. I had a really good relationship with them and had spent thousands of dollars sending my dogs there. And then, yeah, they took me to the small claims court over $500 and I lost

because I'd paid out of multiple bank accounts because I'd changed banks oh god do you know what this sounds like it would be easy to just have kids and dogs

at this point yeah well I mean it's yeah cheaper to send my kids to daycare than my dogs as it turns out

yeah exactly maybe you could dress your kids as dogs as a loophole and it's but doggy daycare is like almost as expensive.

I would say it's more expensive. Yeah, it is. Wow. So you've got to dress your dog like a child. Have you been in a doggy daycare for more than two minutes? I can't stand it.

The smell and the barking. Oh, yeah. It's madness. Special types of people. Anonymous, thank you. Messages to finish. I was going to take my old flatmates to court.

I asked if I could. Now, I'm, by the way, not on this person's side. Oh, okay. I'm on the ex- old flatmates to court. I asked if I could. Now, I'm, by the way, not on this person's side. Oh, okay. I'm on the ex-flatmate's side. I never took my old flatmates to court. Yeah. I asked if I could leave a double bed and shelves at the flat when I moved out.

I'm not on their side. No. Happy for a new flatmate to use them, but they couldn't fit in my new flat. No. A year later, I asked for it back. A year later. No, no, no, no, no. It's been burned. If you're moving out, get your shit out.

Take your shit out or it's our shit. Or it's our shit. Yeah. After a year, I asked for it back. They had sold it. Fair enough. I would have given it away. They should have said, hey, look, we're going to sell your stuff.

You want to come get your stuff. Okay, Johnny Law. They claimed I'd abandoned my stuff. It turns out even by law, if someone does abandon items, you have to have proof that you did everything you could to contact the prior owner. Nah. Never got to court because they were studying law

and didn't want to be outlaw-knowledged. Oh, okay. They didn't want the minor lawsuit on their record. So what did they... Did they get money for... How much does a double beard and a set of shells worth? Well, it depends on the shelves. Depends.

Depends on the shells. Depends on the beads. I've seen some expensive shells in my time. And I've seen some expensive beads. Yeah, but if you were just leaving it behind in a flat, it's not going to. Depends on the shelves. I've seen some expensive shelves in my time. And I've seen some expensive beds. Yeah, but if you were just leaving it behind in a flat, it's not going to be expensive. So they won, they won, they got the money. They never went to court. Oh, they just said almost, yeah. Okay. Giving them some money.

Oh, God. Yikes. Maybe one day we'll end up, imagine, like, we're all happy now. Yeah, yeah. Imagine in a few years we have this massive fight and we all take each other to small clubs. Yeah, and do you know what it will be over? Because I'm always paying for the coffees in the morning. Oh my god. I'm going to flip this effing table. Every time. I'm taking my card, Carly.

I do often. Today was the first day in months. My wallet's a long way away. Hayley and Maud do this thing. They're like, oh, my wallet's just not quite here. I got them yesterday. Producers, who's most generous when it comes to buying coffees? Hayley. Hayley. It's always Hayley. It's always Hayley.

It's always Hayley. Thank you. Don't swing your birthday around. I did get them today, though. So that means it's Vaughan's time next time. The Tame Paul! If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did.

Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends.