ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 21st March 2024

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

Top 6: Ways to be Happier  Contender for Headline of the Year!  Silly Little Poll!  Ancestry Update  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Guys, don't feel alarmed, but I do have a dodgeball in my hands. And at any moment, I could start a game.

Okay. Why is there a dodgeball in the studio? I don't know. I walked in here this morning and it was in here and now it's in my hands. They're a fun ball of dodgeball. Oh, God. He flinched. I really thought you were throwing it at me then.

God, I'm holding a lot of power in the studio this morning. It is weird how scary a ball is. Yeah, I know. I think it's the idea that, I think it's the physical memory of always like taking one to the face. Yeah. You know, at school and you'd be like. It hurts.

I'll never forget David Robertson shoving a basketball in my face. Did he? David, I've never forgotten about that. The ball actually hit your face or he just went. We're a youth group. And he went like, ah.

That's not very godly at all, is it? What did Jesus have to say? I actually don't remember the youth group being that godly. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's just kind of a way for your parents to get rid of you for like an afternoon. On a Friday night, yeah, yeah. A Friday night youth group?

Yeah, it was Friday night. Swingers babysitting, more like it. Absolutely. I bet my parents were after bloody all sorts while I was at youth group. Yeah, he's born shenanigans. He's born shenanigans. Five on time returns this morning at 8 o'clock. $49,000 is the jackpot.

And yesterday, 8 o'clock, if you missed it. I don't even want to talk about it. We had a 5.01. And it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. It's got to be bang on five seconds if you want to play this morning. $49,000. If it doesn't go this morning, it'll jackpot and it'll stay at $50,000 until it's won.

We are giving away this $50,000. We should not be reabsorbing the $50,000. It's got to happen soon. It's been allocated for you. 8 o'clock this morning if you want to play. The top six is on the way. Yeah. And we've slipped out of the happiest countries.

Yeah, we have. We've slipped out of the top 10. When did that happen? Well, apparently just 2024. Looking forward to this year. So I've got the top 6 ways to, don't worry, be happy. Okay, because it's that easy, isn't it?

Cheer up. It is. Cheer up, Charlie. Top 6 coming up. Next on the show... Are you telling the country to give us a smile? Yeah, if they could. Give us a smile, love. You're so much prettier when you smile. Next on the show. Millennials are scared.

Oh, man, I don't know. I'm tired today. Millennials are scared. I can tell. Millennials are scared. Do you want to dodge ball to the face to wake up? I don't want to wake me up. Jeez, you just knocked the microphone over.

That was a good shot, Sproul A study was conducted by Old Spice How about that? It's still like that It's a big brand in America Deodorant wise Have you ever worn it? Cinnamony

My dad had it growing up But not as a roll-on deodorant. Like a body spray, like a special occasion spray. Just to me, when I do smell it now, it just smells like a special occasion. To me, it smells like mulled wine. Nutmeg, star anus,

aldehydes, orange and lemon. Star anus, yes. That's your mulled wine. That's your mulled wines. You just gotta pour a pinot in there and that's what you've got Warm spicy, that's why they call it Old Spice Do they do a speedster? Yeah they do, they're big, big deodorant In America, big deodorant brand

Well Old Spice conducted a Survey of particularly Millennials About their, about Smelling And it's apparently 72% of men that were surveyed very anxious about how their body smells on a daily basis. Oh, yeah.

I am. As a millennial, I'm not a man. I'm always like, is it enough? Do I smell? You were quick to say, I'm not a man. I just wanted to make it clear. Is it because we grew up with Lynx Africa? Like we grew up through what I would call the Lynx era.

And then it was an impulse. It was a deodorant, not an antiperspirant. So you'd just keep putting it on. You'd just keep lathering yourself on it and you would end up rightly stinking. Aren't they all antiperspirants? They are now, but they weren't back in the day. Oh yeah, not everything is. Yeah, right. Impulse was the same.

It stops the sweat smelling but doesn't stop you sweating No So you just keep Putting more and more layers on Right I hate realising that I smell Because I'll smell

I'm not like super stinky But if I don't put on deodorant Even if I'm not having a super busy day I'm like oh yeah Yeah Get a little wet in the pit There's a pit Yeah

And there's a little stank to it But I never I like at the end of a day of doing hard work when you sit down you can smell yourself. That's nice. Yeah, that's good. You sit and you're like, that's the smell of A tang? Is it a tang though? No, it's different. It smells like hard work. It smells more

like musky than it does sort of like a tangy Yeah. Because I never understand how people that have like bad BO at the gym, how they don't smell themselves. Yeah. 52% of people surveyed worry that they smell bad and they're not aware of it. So there you go.

But I'm so aware of how I smell. Can you not smell your own BO maybe? Maybe not as much. Maybe some people can't. Or they've just got blocked noses. 60% of people said that they would appreciate someone informing them that they were giving them a foot smell.

Not a stranger. Gently. A friend, maybe. Oh, yeah, not a stranger. Someone could be like, you stink, man. Excuse me? Bruh, you stink.

Bruh, you need to fix that search. Okay, family feud time. Okay. We surveyed 2,000 millennials. They said they were worried the most about this part of their body smelling. Crotch. Genitals. Okay We surveyed 2000 millennials They said they were worried The most About this part Of their body smelling

Crotch Genitals Groin 15% Yep One of the lowest Oh okay One of the lowest

Because you have to be So close to it To smell it No one wants a stinky crotch No one wants a stinky crotch Nobody No one wants a stinky crotch The idea is you're going

For the one that Everybody worries about smelling Okay You guys ever watch Family Feud Yeah Loved it Because you're at the Bottom of the board. Okay. You guys ever watch Family Feud? Yeah, loved it. Because you're at the bottom of the board. I've got no idea how Family Feud works.

Breath. Breath. Anus. Breath's not on it because it was an anus. I seldom worry that my anus stinks. I mean, if you shove your nose in there. I think by default it smells. Yeah, okay, right. If you really went in. Are we not counting anus? We're not counting anus. I put anus in the genital. It's gotta be mouth. No, it's not mouth because you can't put Old Spice in your mouth.

Feet. Pits. Pits is number one. 71% of people worry that the smell is emanating from their pits. I'd rather have stinky pits than a stinky crotch. It's the next one. This next one's the one that blows my mind. 40% of people worry it's their neck that smells.

Neck. Oh, get out. Get a grip. 39% of people. Who's their neck that smells. Neck? Oh, get out. Get a grip. 39% of people who's got a stinky neck. I guess maybe because people nuzzle into it. Yeah. And you might be like, I hope it doesn't smell bad.

Or is it that they're worried about the smell of it because that's where you put perfume and cologne. Or like the collar might have got dirty and it rubs and just the smell sticks up. 39% of people worried it's their head or their hair. Oh, your stinky hair's gross. 30% worry it's coming from their arms and hands, 25%.

Chest, 21%. Smelly chest. A smelly chest. Is it because people, your partner might lay on your chest? And 15% worry about the groin being smelly. Oh my God, groin is... No, I know that... This is so backwards.

And then is it anus? There's no anus. Where's anus? Where's feet? Feet's not on the list. I would worry about stinky feet when someone say, oh, it's a shoes off house. And you know that you've been out and about all day.

Okay, back to the family feud board. Okay. What specific situations would men be most worried about having bad body odour? Sex. First sexual experience with their new partner is 34%. They don't want the first time they're getting down to be stanky. Because you can't take back that first impression of your crotch. Yeah.

They're like, does this crotch smell all the time? Well, you've got to go. If it's your first time, you've got to freshen. Yeah. They're like, does this crotch smell all the time? Well, you've got to go. If it's your first time, you've got to freshen. Yeah. You've got to excuse yourself for a quick wee. Yeah, quick wipe. And find, if you're at their house, rummage, rummage. Find a flannel.

Ew, you're saying you should wash your genitals with the strangest flannel. Well, you hit up the hot water cupboard and just grab whatever's the smallest piece of linen. Exactly. If you've been out on a date all night. If it's a pillowcase, better than nothing. Yeah, and then you fold it up, you take it home with you, and you never speak of it. We're down a pillowcase.

I know nothing about that. Job interviews and after a workout are the other times that people don't want to smell bad. After a workout, I think that's the time you're allowed to smell bad. I sort of like to sit in my stink for a bit. Yeah, you weren't that stink. Actually, on that, we're going to the gym before a meeting today, and I'm going to have a shower at the gym, but I forgot my deodorant. Does anyone have some?

That's right. I've got ball. Does your gym not have a sort of a communal spray? No. No, yours does, though. Who does it? Yeah. I used to have it when I was at his gym.

It's better than nothing. Yeah. Yeah, it is better than nothing. It just sits on the mirror where the lady's driving. Jared always has the show deodorant. Yeah, he's got a similar deodorant to me. Yeah, it's a good one. It's a nice scent.

All right, next on the show, people are unhappy at Kim Kardashian. I know. She's throwing her wealth in our face, I'd say. Again. What? What? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. What's the brand of the bag?

Hermes. It's a Hermes. And apparently it stays with you for life. The Hermes. Once you've got that handbag, it's for life. Yeah. And yeah, if you don't take it out, it lives on your spine. Mouth Hermes or genital Hermes?

I think it's just handbag Hermes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How is that said? Hermes. Hermes. Hermes. Oh, okay. You basic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How is that said? Hermes. Hermes. Hermes. Oh, okay.

You basic poverty stricken. God, I'm sorry. Is that Italian? What is that? Hermes? French? Hermes? Hermes?

Hermes? Yeah, they skip the H, right? Yeah, okay. French. Is it France? If I was a handbag user, there is no way in hell I would spend even close to that kind of money on a handbag. Hermes is French. I reckon I'd

leave it behind the whole time. Yeah. If I had a handbag, I reckon I'd put it down and walk away from it all the time. So the thing with Birkins, not to be confused with Vaughan's Merkins. You've got a Merkin business which is pubic wigs. Taken off. Because all your silly ladies got all your pubes lasered off.

Guess what's back, baby? Pubes. Your pubes are back. I talked to sexologist Morgan Penn about this. I said, I lasered them all off, and now they're back in fashion. Now, you're probably going to be wondering about price point. Entry level, I've got some horsehair Merkins. That's how I do it cheap.

But you have had a lot of customer feedback that those are quite at cheap. Of course, but you get what you pay for. And, of course, the higher-end merkins made of hair. Human hair. No, no, human hair. Soft, too soft. No, you want them soft. That's what you pay for.

It's not believable that it would be that soft. Not if you've been with someone with soft pubes, and that's what everybody wants, to be with someone with angel hair pubes. Really? Soft, brushable pubes. Yeah. Wow. Well, back to the Birkins.

Back to the Birkins. Which are expensive handbags. The most expensive in the world. And the thing with Birkins is they are collector's bags because they hold their value. So they're... They hold their... What, like... I know it's horrible to say, So they're... They hold their... What?

I know it's horrible to say, but they're investments. Really? And the vintage ones sell for even more. Oh my God. Especially if you don't use them. Okay. Right? Like they sit to look at, and then one day you could sell it, they hold their value,

you get your money, da-da-da-da-da-da. Anyway, Kim Kardashian has a myriad of Hermes burqas. Has she got a room for her handbags? Have I seen her with a room of them? She has multiple. Like a walk-in, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her wardrobe is the size of two of your apartments.

Unbelievable. Yeah, it's unreal. Imagine how much she could rent out her wardrobes for in Auckland. Oh my gosh. Wellington. You get good rent. You can use some of her big coats as a blanket. And they wouldn't be drafty or damp.

No, no, no. She probably had some central heating. She probably had natural light in there as well, I imagine. Not too much, though. That'll deteriorate the condition of the Birkins. And also natural light will deteriorate the condition of a Vaughan Smith Merkin. So I do actually ask that everybody... Wait, so my pubes might get bleached by the sunlight.

Over time, they could go ginger. Yeah, I ask everybody to read the care instruction pamphlet that comes with the Merkin because there won't be refunds for it. Can you swim in them? We ask that you remove your Merkin before swimming. But Vaughan does have a handy container that you can put your Merkin in. Oh, like a retainer case? Yes, and it's got a UV light in it to sterilise everything.

But not bleach. Is that included in the price of the Merkin? The package The container The container Yes yes of course yes I was wondering Very high price point

It's a very high price point Especially for the angel here Well you want your pubes back Why not? You were the ones that all rushed in And laser treatment And got all your pubes taken away Stupid

Anyway so The reason people are irate Is because Kim Kardashian Went to a basketball game Was the Lakers Versus the Golden State Warriors. Golden State Warriors is my second team of choice. What's my team again?

I've got a team now. Oh, you chose a team because I'm Miami Heat. Didn't you choose Miami Heat as well than you were saying? I know you were Philadelphia 76ers. I'm Philadelphia now. That rules actually. Why? Because we love Philly.

We love Philly sports. Why did you choose the team? Just because I think they play great basketball. You saw some potential there. Yeah. A lot of strength. I was basketball. You saw some potential there. Yeah. A lot of strength. I was playing at the gym the other day, and I just really liked the team.

He could not look away. He was on the treadmill moving at a snail's pace watching that game. Anyway, Kim was at a Lakers game versus Golden State Warriors, and she was front row, as the celebs are, and she had her $100,000 Hermes Birkin bag

sitting on the floor and everyone was like that is disgusting behaviour for you. Like the sticky gross floor. Yeah like laden with popcorn and fizzy drink and stickiness and sweat she just had it sitting on the floor

and people were like I would not if I had the privilege of having a Birkin be putting that on the floor. And people were like, I would not, if I had the privilege of having a burqa, be putting that on the floor. I wouldn't even take it out. Not to a basketball game. Because you would take it on a red carpet and nowhere else. But if you're worth that much money, it's nothing to you, is it?

Literally nothing to her. Well, that's disgusting. It just makes people sad. Especially when that handbag is like, you know, a celery. So there's another case in which... You shouldn't put celery in it either, because it's quite wet. No, you'd have to put that in a Ziploc. Yeah, you put that in a Ziploc.

By all means, take celery and a little, like, a little sistema of peanut butter. Healthy snack. Oh, yeah, great. The venue may not want you to bring your own snack, though. No, it's just... You have a pot on your bra or something, or your boots. So this isn't the first time.

She, this was $100,000, translated to New Zealand dollars. Bring your own snack. No, I'm just checking. You have a pot on your bra or something. Okay. Or your boots. So this isn't the first time. She, this was $100,000, translated to New Zealand dollars. She took, what's a hundred grand American in New Zealand? 180? 160. 160?

So she's got a rare Birkin. I figured I was going to get stung with a, I was going to get stung with a fee at the airport. Oh yeah. Can we include the fee? $165,000 New Zealand dollars So she's got a rare Birkin as well That she was seen carrying at a soccer match That's worth $165,000 New Zealand dollars

Jesus Oh wow, okay They're just bags But then like comparatively As we talked about her net worth That's pretty much the equivalent of you Taking a Velcro wallet somewhere Your Rip Curl

Yeah, taking a Rip Curl Velcro wallet On your chain On your Helen Stones chain. You don't want someone to steal it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley from the Panoramic ZM Think Tank. This is the Top Six. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Top Six.

You might notice that I don't sound too happy. It's because we as a country aren't happy. Yeah. Are we? We've slipped out of the Top Ten, haven't we, Fletch's because where's the country out happy? Yeah. Are we? We've slipped out of the top ten, haven't we, Fletch? You've got the article open there. We have, yes. This is done by the Gallops.

The Gallop World Poll. Gallops? They do this every, I don't know, Gallop, they do polls. They do this every year, the World Happiness Rankings. And we are in at 11. Costa Rica is just behind us at 12. They're always very happy.

Beautiful country. Australia at 10. God damn it. God damn Australia. And their high wages. And their work opportunities. And their beaches. But snakes.

Yeah, it's not a lot of time to be. Yeah. And their butt snakes. Yeah, it's not a lot of time to be. And they're butt snakes. Switzerland. Actually, that made them a little bit happier, if you know what I mean. Right, okay. I'm saying those Australian gays. Switzerland at nine.

Luxembourg at eight. Norway at seven. Always, those countries, always. Always the Scandi countries. Netherlands at number six. Yeah. This was done, I believe, it was, let me just check here, because Israel's at number five.

Okay. Well, I think, to be honest, on the end of, if you were to pick a side in that conflict that seems happier about it, it would be Israel. Yeah, look, I think it was done before that whole thing blew up. Sweden at number four, Iceland at three, Denmark at two, and Finland is the happiest country in the world. Again, the Scandi countries.

What a place to be. No one's rich, no one's poor. We're all happy and looked after. They pay a lot of tax, right, but they get everything like... Included. Included. Like modern socialism. Yeah.

Right? But what would they bloody know mate I'm sick of paying taxes Blah blah blah Beneficiaries Blah blah blah Three waters Blah blah blah

Why are you chucked to three waters in there I chucked to three waters in there God there's still lots of those signs up Having just driven like Yeah 15 hours around the North Island at the weekend Yeah lots of stop three waters A lot of those signs up

Lots of stop three waters And meanwhile Wellington's like Just stop the water You know it's pissing out in the street around the North Island at the weekend. Yeah, lots of Stop Three Waters. Lots of Stop Three Waters. And meanwhile, Wellington's like, just stop the water. You know, it's pissing out in the street and everything. We're losing a lot. We've got old pipes. Anyway, we're not into your political. Anyway, no.

Top six ways to not worry, be happy. Great. Take it from me. Have you ever met a happier guy? Number six. You know when they say, as happy as Larry? Yeah. Larry Yeah Larry Larry

You are Larry I'm Larry Vaughn Larry Smith Top six ways to not worry Be happy I looked up

Some advice online For this Okay Yeah Number six on the list That said to talk And share But I will say

Not too much Right Because your sadness Could be contagious And then When you're unloading You're gonna make Somebody else sad And that kind of Defeats the purpose Yeah You don't wanna're unloading, you're going to make somebody else sad and that kind of defeats the purpose.

Yeah, you don't want to weigh them down. Then they're going to weigh someone else down and then before you know it, we'll be at 20 on the list. No, but a problem shared is a problem halved. But if the other person has already got their own problems and then you give them another half of yours, they've got one and a half problems

and then the next person they give it to, they're going to give them three quarters of a problem and they've already got and a half problems. And then the next person they give it to, they're going to give them three quarters of a problem. Right, that's bad. And they've already got half of a problem. So now they've got one and a quarter problems. See how it compounds, doesn't it? Yes, it does. It's like compound interest.

Okay. So just tread lightly on that one. Yeah. Number five on the list is another piece of advice from the internet on how to be happier. Take a bath and make coffee for friends. Personally, I think that's a bit much. My bath isn't big enough. Oh, no, I think it's have a bath and make coffee for friends. Personally, I think that's a bit much. My bath isn't big enough.

Oh, no, I think it's have a bath and then go out and meet friends. Because the way they worded it and punctuated it. I was keen to get in the bath. Also, this is why I'm so unhappy because I don't have a bath. I don't have a bath.

And I have to use the spa pool and the swimming pool. Oh. And they're public. That's like a big bath. There's almost dead skin cells and plasters. But they're not your friends, are they? All those people sitting there.

Yeah. No. That doesn't sound like a big bar. There's almost dead skin cells and plasters. But they're not your friends, are they? All those people sitting there. Yeah. No. That doesn't sound like a happy bar. No. Number four on the list of the top six ways to not worry, be happy. Here we go. Here's another one from online. Eat a small piece of chocolate cake.

Okay. But I'm on keto. Wait a minute. You'll love this one. This is the explanation. If you're feeling low, a chocolate donut or a Tim Tam can often make you feel better. Despite the obvious fact that chocolate tastes good, it's also a fact that new research,

this is constantly changing every week, has shown that fatty foods do comfort our inner selves. Eating fat seems to make us less vulnerable to sad emotions. Even if we don't know what we're eating, says Dr. Lucas van Uldenhove. Well, I believe him. Right, so eat your problems away. Yeah. Okay.

Won't that just spike your blood sugar, though, and then make you crave more sugary? And then you have another one and another one and another one and then you're not going to feel happy with your body and you'll probably go to number 14. Okay. Well, let me turn it around then. This is another one I found online.

Top six ways to not worry. This has got an addendum, though. Okay. My own addendum. Number three, eat a banana. While watching the Warriors destroy the Canberra Raiders this weekend. Now that'll make me happy

because we're two losses on the trot after two games this season. We've come close and we've shown a lot of promise and particularly in the second half.

You're upping the wires too early. We're going to, Hayley and I are going to jump on the bandwagon and the finals Tom Harris needs you does he?

he needs you to stand up what does he need me to do? he needs you to stand up stand up and do what? and up the wads stand up and do what? standing up stand up and up the wads

okay Tohu yeah you don't have to ask me twice if Tohu needs me up the wads thank you number two on the list of the top six ways

to not worry be happy producer Jared suggested and I couldn't agree more, win the lotto. Oh, my God. I never thought of that. Win it on one of the big weekends. Oh, yeah. Don't want to win it when there's like you have to share it with 14 people.

Oh, I'd be so disappointed if I won two mil. Yeah. You know? And you'd be like, oh, thanks. Oh, why couldn't it be 38? Yeah. You know? That'd be better, wouldn't it?

Some would say you're being ungrateful. Only two mil. Yeah. You know? That'd be better, wouldn't it? Some would say you're being ungrateful. Only two milli. You kidding me? And number one on the list of the top six ways to not worry, be happy. This is foolproof. Okay. This is a fixer of all ills and ails. Yeah.

Antidepressants? Play with yourself. Oh. Nature's antidepressant. Nature's antidepressant. Nature's Panadol. Nature's Ibuprofen. Nature's Proadol. Nature's Ibuprofen. Nature's Prozac.

Yep. Nature's everything. Yeah. Yeah. So that would be my advice to you all today. Take some time. You're welcome. That's the day self-sex.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Watch me dance, daddies. I'm going to dance around the story after I give you the headline. Okay. Can I watch you whip and watch you nay-nay? Oh, I don't know if I'm a whipper nor a nay-nay. Okay.

I'll watch you dance. You are claiming on the 21st of March, 2024, that this will, is, and will be the headline of 2024. Try and beat it. That's all I'll say. Okay. Try and beat it. Woman with two vaginas says she isn't

cheating on two boyfriends. Okay. They get a vagina each, do they? They have a designated vagina. That's like that TV show. Designated Survivor. Yeah, with Keith Sutherland. Who gets to be the president. Or a designated driver. Yeah.

So this woman has a medical condition that not only gives her two channels, actual, the vaginal channels, two cervixes. It's like TV in the 80s. Yeah.

Only two channels. Only two channels. Two cervixes. Do you say two cervi? No, cervixes. Is it? Yeah, cervixes. Okay.

Two uteruses and two, cervixes. Okay. Two uteruses and two menstrual cycles. Oh. So she could have babies. With different daddies. At different times. So that'd be half siblings. Yes, because she's the. Oh my God.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Half twins. That is insane. And then what? The headline is She has two boyfriends Yeah But it's not cheating

Because they get They're not Dipping the finger In the same That seems like a loophole That's like an area code loophole So Not cheating

Because it's in a different country Yeah She says Her name is Annie Yeah Should be Fanny really Shouldn't it She says

It isn't cheating She says it isn't cheating. She says it isn't cheating because they each have a designated vagina. She said, I don't think it was necessary for them to know about each other. So it's straight up secretive. Okay. I let them use one each. And they only have lovemaking in their designated spot. Okay.

Yeah. Question. This may be a question for our friend Dr. Shawnee. I'm somewhat of a doctor. You're not really, to be honest. I'll give it a go, though. What are you a doctor of? Life.

Life doctor. Doctor of life. Yeah. Say she had an STI in one of her vaginas. Is that an STI in both vaginas? That's an area, isn't it? No, but don't you get it from the spot? The opening, as producer Jared has found an article about her,

it looks like a double barrel shotgun reads the headline. Okay, yeah, right. So you would think the STI is right next door and there'd be some cross. Cross over. The fluids from one would cross contaminate the other, I think. If it was a skin connection. Jeez, mate, brush up on your vaginal knowledge. Yeah, come on.

I'm so nervous. Margaret's sexually unsatisfied. He's down there like a bloody buffoon. Yeah. What's this? Stumbling around like a tourist. Oh, no. Wow, okay. He isumbling around like a tourist. Oh, I know. Wow, okay.

He is, he's a visitor. Yeah, okay, thank you. Anyway, I'm calling it that woman with two vaginas says she isn't cheating on two boyfriends because they each have a designated vagina. It's headline of the year. Headline of the year. Okay, well, we'll see from now until the end of the year

see if we can find a better headline. By the way, what news source is that from? This is from news.com.au, Australian. So it's been on a news wire. It's a legitimate story. Oh, it's straight. There's photos and everything. There's photos and everything.

Okay. Well, challenge accepted. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little poll. Do you keep the boxes when you buy new phones? Or laptops. Yeah. The nice, you know, like, I'm a bit of an Apple boy.

Yeah, me too. I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm an Apple boy. They do packaging well. You know when you lift up the... Yeah. On a new MacBook or something? Yeah.

Good stuff. Do you know what else? Blunt umbrellas do packaging well. Oh, yeah. I just got sent a blunt umbrella with native birds on it. You can buy your own and support the Department of Conservation. I mean, I don't want to get political here, but I could do with a little bit of extra funding.

A little bit of coin. Of where to protect our beautiful point green image. You're just slipping in some charity again. Slipping a little bit of charity. Forest and bird, blunt umbrella. I did charity yesterday, so I'm off charity today. You're off charity. You're doing every second day charity,

aren't you? Yeah, I was plugging SPCA yesterday. It was double donations. I completely forgot. Please, oh, damn it. It's yesterday. I was going to help.

The reason we're talking about whether or not you keep your hot boxes from phones is because there was a meme saying, I don't know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in.

You don't need it. You'll never need it. I used to because I always thought you needed the proof of purchase, but now it's like the AppleCare and everything's registered online and you just don't. Because also I think once I made a travel insurance claim years ago and they said if you didn't have the receipt but you've still got the box, you can send that to them.

Because the box has the serial number on it and they can see that that serial number was. So I feel like it's a hangover from the days where you might have needed it. And I think even to return a desktop Mac back in the day, you needed the box. Is that a thing? Now when you take your iPhone or your Apple Watch or whatever to get fixed, you just literally turn it up like a scungy slab, and you're like, here you go. Well, the poll results, 73% of people keep the box when they get in their phone.

27% of people said, no way. Target it their phone. 27% of people said no way. Target it. And I bet most of those people are millennials. Millennials, I know. Yes. Screams millennial. Says Jack, I've kept it, but I've never looked at it again. I found three old phone boxes while clearing out the wardrobe once.

Yeah. I was the same. I had clearing out the lockup, and I found like two, and I was like, why did I keep these? Angela said, I honestly can't tell you why I I keep these? Yeah, I get that. Angela said, I honestly can't tell you why I keep them. Damn it, I hoard some dumb shit.

Yeah. Lucy said, aha, where else are you going to store that little thingy that pops the SIM card holder out? That's in my travel,

that's in my travel wallet. I think I had it. You do love that. Although, now I don't need it because I'm an eSIM. I'm a better person. I want to be eSIM. I always take out the back of my earring and shove it I'm an e-sim. I'm a better person. I want to be e-sim.

I always take out the back of my earring and shove it in. Or undo a paper clip and just ram it in. I was talking to Shara the other day about having an e-sim. She said we've probably left it a little bit late in our relationship. No, no, no. We should have done it early. Slightly different to what you were talking about. Yeah, that's different.

Is it? Yeah. Yeah. It's all in the cloud now, Vaughn. You've got to do it in the clouds. You've got to have your threesomes in the cloud, yeah. She's got a soft beard, but Iughn. You've got to do it in the clouds. She's got a soft beard, but I don't know if I'd say it's cloud-like. Proof of purchase if it gets stolen.

By the way, dad jokes, absolutely free. Proof of purchase if it gets stolen for the insurance is Carol. Carol! Carol, you don't need it. It's all on the cloud, baby. Where all the ASIMs are happening. I'm a millennial, says Louise, and it's

a bloody nice box. It is a nice box, but what are you keeping it for? It's a bloody nice box. So Vanessa says, resale value is higher

if you have the original box, cord, and papers. True. At least someone can gift it if they want. I never resell. I smash them into

smithereens and move on. I work mine until it don't work no more, and then I put it in that recycling box for the Ronald McDonald House. Again!

He will not stay with his charity! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Guys, Whittaker's is discontinuing a classic, I would say, the little milk chocolate toffee sticks. So that was like a toffee bar. Unwrapped. Like they were always in a box. Yes. And you a toffee bar. Unwrapped. Like they were always in a box.

Yes. And you could like pick them. At the tuck shop or the dairy. Yeah, the tuck shop. Yeah, they'd pick them out with their fingers in the 90s and just pop them in a paper bag for you. A little white paper bag. Yeah.

Discontinued. When was the last time you had one of those? Yeah, it's one of those things that you're like, those were yum, but you never ate them. Yeah, totally. Well, that's the of those things that you're like, those were yum, but you never ate them. Yeah, totally. Well, that's the thing. They said that other products are out-competing this stick. No one's buying them anymore.

But I reckon this is going to be a case that we didn't support it, we didn't buy them, it left, and then we're going to be like, I miss it, bring it back, bring it back. Do you think if they were at supermarkets, they might have done all right? If they'd kind of repackaged them? Wrapped them like a K-Bar. Are they still doing K-Bars?

Because you never see K-Bars. I mean, I don't know. I remember when you go to the dairy and look for lollies. You know what I mean? They sort of pre-made the mixes now. Yeah, I don't know if there's still K-Bars. But I think this is going to spark. Yeah, there's K-Bars. I'm just looking at some different lolly outlets

I don't have the teeth for K-Bars Nah Not anymore Unless they're soft and chewy They were the best when K-Bars were like that We used to tuck them in our pants To warm them up To warm them up

So you could Them a little bit easier Yeah right Anyway It's joining the likes of I could go a box of toffee milks though. Just to have... What are toffee milks?

That's what they were called. This is what they're cancelling. Toffee milks. Nah, see, they've cancelled them because no one ate. This is why this happens. Like when tangy fruits. No one was eating them. That's what I mean.

So they get rid of them. Only at the movies and only at a stretch. I know. Snifters. Oh God, I would kill a snifter. Now, they did snifter lumps. It wasn't the same. You know, pineappleifters. Oh, God, I would kill a snifter. Now, they did Snifter Lumps. It wasn't the same.

Yeah. You know, Pineapple Lumps did Snifter Lumps. That's a dad lolly. Snifters. Yeah, Snifters are a dad lolly. Oh, no. I'm a peppermint lass. Oh, yeah.

What do you like? What are those peppermint bars and they're covered in chocolate? What are those called? They've got a name. Oh. You must love those. Peppermint Chews. Peppermint Chews. Yeah, Peppermint bars and they're covered in chocolate. What are those called? They've got a name. Oh. What are those? You must love those. Peppermint Chews. Peppermint Chews. Yeah, Peppermint Chews.

Yum. Yeah, I thought you'd like those. Yeah, I think between the three of us, we could smash a box of old roses. Oh, my God, number one. You could have the peppermint. The thing that annoyed me about a box of roses when I was a kid is the peppermint one was the biggest chocolate.

Yeah. So if we were sharing, your mind would immediately be like, well, I want the biggest one because it's the biggest one and I want more than what I'm entitled to.

Greed, greed, greed. It was bred into us. Yeah. We just, as five-year-olds watched the stock market

crash in 87. Yeah. And we're greed, greed, greed is good, we were told. So we, you know,

we took it to our version of the shares and that was when we were sharing a box of chocolates. Yeah, you wanted the biggest one. Yeah. But're right. And I wanted the biggest one. But the yummest one was the smallest one. I want the Turkish Delight one, by the way. I want the Turkish Delight rose.

You're going to have to fight and flinch for that one. It has sparked in me a phoner I would like to propose. Okay. What do we want to see brought back? White Maltesers. Yuck. But again, people were not buying them enough like I was. And when they made the white scorched almonds,

oh, so good. You're so embarrassing. White chocolate is chocolate. Be it food or be it like a store or like bring back HBK. Now I'm talking on behalf of millennials

who grew up and it was HBK was like the coolest place to shop in the 90s. Right. And it had the funkiest clothes, all stuff now that like would be in fashion for Gen Z. Do you want Supre back as well?

Bring back Supre. I need some cheap singles. Bring back Texas Radio and the Big Beat. For North Island shoppers there. Yeah, yeah. Did they ever make it to the South? I don't know. I thought they were Hamilton and Auckland.

Weren't they? Well, those were the only stores I was aware of. Okay, 0800 DALS at M. We're going to get a bit nostalgic on it now. You can text through 9696. Why M&M's has also been texted. Yeah, well, you can get those sometimes in America. Here we go.

Here we go. Biggins. By the way, peach fruit burst. I'm just going to, the bell. Yeah. A hot person's neck snapped back with a Pavlovian response there. Jeremy Wells was just ordering a coffee. So this is the expulsion bell.

It's when we tell people they can stop listening to the show. Oh, no. What's happened? Peach fruit bursts. Oh, yeah. They did a good job getting rid of peach fruit bursts. They were the weakest link in the fruit burst family. I won't say anything

for fear of being expelled from the show. They were the number one fruit burst. No, they tasted like vomit. Someone just said they tasted like peach. Bring back Rick D's

the weekly top 40. What the hell are you? Rick D's are the weekly top 40. You're out. Right now we're asking you what you want to see brought back and I tell you what,

there's more than just snifters and tangy fruits. This is in light of the news that Whitaker's is getting rid of its to see brought back. And I tell you what, there's more than just snifters and tangy fruits. This is in light of the news that Whittaker's is getting rid of its toffee milk bar. The little slim bars that you get in the boxes. Covered in chocolate. They were mostly tuck shops and dairies. They weren't at the supermarket

I don't think. Nah, you had to kind of buy the box and then sell them on the way. I would rather Whittaker's focus on just making delicious blocks of hazella and all the other stuff they do. They've got a few new things on the go, ain't they? They've always got a new one on the go. Hazella's so trash.

Bring back responsible radio hosts. Diabetes and obesity epidemic and you're pushing junk food balance, please. Is that seriously a message? That reads the texts. I mean, we're just having a little bit of fun here, aren't we? Obviously, eat responsibly. Responsible radio. I mean, don't get me

started on gut health and low sugar. Come on. Oh, I'm on keto. I'm not touching any of these. We're just having a little bit of fun. Some Instagram responses,

list snacks or roll-ups. Of course, eat responsibly with a balanced diet. Now, the removal of the snacks. As part of a balanced diet. As part of a balanced diet, of course.

No one was sadder about the removal of the snacks than producer Jarrett. Oh my God, he lived on the things. Who I believe is not type 2 diabetic, so it's okay to refer to what he used to eat. Tried an extra saucy cup noodles. For those that celebrate. For those that eat. For those that celebrate.

Bring back, back before the meager ring ones with the multi-flavour sachets became so popular, the tried an extra saucy cup noodles were slapping. Again, as part of a balanced diet. Now, when I eat a balanced diet, Trident still does slap noodles. Okay. Yeah, they're really good. Bring back honey puffs, the ones they made in the 80s from Aaron, as part of a balanced diet.

Who was saying the other day that twisties have got good again? Reddit New Zealand were like dudes, this is a PSA. Twisties are back. They hurt us. We complained. Obviously as part of a balanced diet. So someone on Instagram said Snickers pods, but Hayley and I walked past a dairy

the other day and I actually, do you remember I said to you look, Snickers pods. There's pods. And from my Googling, I think they're parallel. So you can buy them online from like the lolly stores. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think they're parallel but you can still get them. Yeah. Somebody said

bring back the Biff and bring back Bach. That's a... We're always bringing them back. Yeah, always bringing them back. Someone wants Paul Henry back. Angela, good morning. What do you want back? I want apricot pie from McDonald's back.

Oh, do they just do the apple now? Just apple. I think they do on occasion bring it back. I just did a quick Google before because somebody else messaged it in, Angela, and a couple of years ago they brought it back around Christmas time? Yeah, yeah, but it wasn't as good. We've got the ear of the

show sponsor. I'm sure we can have a little It's always nostalgia though, isn't it? That's what I think people taste, nostalgia. I hope Angela's eating their apricot pie as part of a balanced diet. Obviously. Obviously. Thank you, Angela. Ava, good morning. What do you want brought back? I want One Direction back

All five of them Yeah I'm 22 I still have my Zayn cardboard cutout In my room Was he your favourite or was that just the cardboard Cutout you get your hands on No I had three of them

I don't know what happened to the other two, but Zane, he always stayed with me. Oh, yeah. Did you go and see Harry Styles in concert last year? Last year, that was my 21st birthday. He put that show on just for me. I don't know if he did. I don't know if he did, because Hayley and I win and I don't know if... Yeah, you were invited

to Ava's 21st. I think he could see me from the back. Like, I was in terrible seats, but we made eye contact, I swear. Wow. So can I ask you a question, Ava? If you're ever bringing someone home to your flat, is Zayn looking at what you're up to? Okay, this actually happened recently,

and I had to put him in my wardrobe. You had to tuck him away for the night. Wait, did you know that... A lover was intimidated. Did you know that the guy was coming over or did you make him wait while you hid Zane in the wardrobe? I was home and I had warnings. I knew he was on his way and I went, oh my God, I've got to do something.

Goodnight, Zane. It is also nuts to me that someone who would have been 10 and caught up in the One Direction phase unilaterally is now old enough to be having booty calls. Yeah, well, that makes me feel old. Obviously part of a balanced diet. A caller of the week? I was literally going to say,

to share with Zane, to share with Zane, caller of the week, please. A $50 McCafe voucher, thanks to our friends at McCafe, but you do have to take Zane to McCafe. Yeah.

I will. Okay, Fanta, always love to see photos of that just because that will make me laugh so much. That makes me very happy. Thank you, Ava.

Let's go to some more text messages. Someone said, original format X-Men cartoons like we had in the 90s. Not the bullshit these kids are watching today. Now, I will say

the first two episodes of X-Men 97 are out on Disney+. Free mention, free plug, free plug. And it follows on exactly from the Saturday morning X-Men cartoons that we all loved in the 90s. We must go to Alicia, who this, I remember this. What do you want brought back?

Bubbly raspberry. This is trash. No! This is trash. And absolutely not part of a balanced diet. This responsible radio host will distance himself from it. Bubbly Raspberry. You're wrong.

Bubbly Raspberry was the best. It was the best. And you guys get in the cans. My memory of Bubbly Raspberry, Alicia, is I had a flat that had this cream carpet, and I had a friend that was really hungover. He woke up, and he downed a Bubbly Raspberry and vomited all over my carpet. I did the same thing on it. Did you? I did the same a bubbly raspberry and vomited all over my carpet. And the pink... I did the same thing on it.

Did you? I did the same thing. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. The pink stain was like immovable. Obviously drinking responsibly. Drinking responsibly. Obviously drinking responsibly

is part of a balance. In moderation. In moderation is part of a balance. Thank you, Alicia. Thank you. Responsible radio host here. I think Alicia and I had the same pink stone.

Yeah. Bring back M&M's Easter crispy speckled eggs. They're selling them in Australia but not New Zealand this year. Never heard of them. Never heard of them. They do sound yum though.

Bring back big old round CC brand corn chips. Only CCs. It's just in our ears. No, I don't. As part of a balanced radio host. Diet. Diet.

I don't know if you can do the accent. I probably shouldn't have, but... It was a different time. Bring back Wild Pear. Yeah. Didn't you... Which one did you want? Now, wife, she worked at Lippy and Wild Pear.

They were the same thing, weren't they? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring back Lippy and Wild Pear, for sure. Bring back Sunday morning radio storytelling. What? They must have sat around the wireless and listened to someone read kids' stories. I know they still do that.

Green imperial mints. That'll be right up your alley, Sproul. Oh, gosh. She loves a peppermint. Yeah, she loves a peppermint. Bring back common sense. Yep, that'll be nice. Oh, my God.

Bring back frugitropical snow. They do. I know, my dude, but that's been like two or three summers that they haven't done it. And I'm sick of it. Somebody said, do you know how much do you think K-bars are now? Someone messaged and they bought a K-bar yesterday. How much is it?

70 cents. 75 cents. $2. No, they're 70 cents. No, what? No, they are not. They said when they used to buy them as a kid, they were 25 cents because you take a buck and you get all four.

Wait, stop. And they're $2 now. No, they are not. That's not enough candy for $2. $2. Absolutely not. That is Griffin Fruit Fingers in the yellow pack. Yum.

Fruit Fingers? Fruit Fingers? Like fruit pasties. They were so yum. They had the biscuit around and the fruit stuff in the middle. Oh, my dude. Yum. It reminds me of my nana.

You'd always have a cup of tea and a couple of Fruit Fingers. That's disgusting. Obviously, you'd only have two, though. That reminds me of my nana. You'd always have a cup of tea and a couple of fruit fingers. Obviously you'd only have two though. That's so elderly. In moderation. Only ever two fingers. Biggins chirps, eh? They were big.

I could do four sometimes if I was hungry. You could do four fingers? You're an air hand. That's not part of a balance. Jesus, hungry, hungry boy. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

Okay, guys, we've got to calm down collectively. We should calm down. I'm calm. I've been inundated with messages from our lovely listeners, fans, followers of mine. Okay. Telling me that Jason Momoa is at Glengarry in Victoria Park, which is literally, we can see it from the studio all barge.

Yeah. I reckon we could throw one of those, what's those whistly ball things? Vortex. Vortex mega howler. I reckon we could throw a vortex mega howler and hit Glengarry from our studio. That's how close we are. You've got a good arm. I couldn't. Oh, yes, you could.

I'm not a great thrower, and I'm okay with it. I've come to terms with it. Would you be the catcher at the other end? I can catch it, but then I'd have to run halfway back and then throw it and probably still fall short. Right. I'll be the cheerleader because I'm the girl. Okay.

Well, it's very close to our studio. And for those that don't know, a little backstory. Well, Jason Momoa is my passcard, obviously. And he's been in the country for months. And it's truly wild. We haven't crossed paths. And you met him last year. You interviewed him.

I interviewed him last year. And there was chemistry. I've never stopped thinking about it. You know? And so people. Tell everybody about your dream. Oh my God, I had a dream. Is it too much?

Am I allowed to say that? Because I knew that. I saw on your Instagram that you woke up and you had this look on your face. And it was like, I just had. The spiciest dream. I had a dream. Is it too much? Am I allowed to say that? Because I knew that, I saw on your Instagram that you woke up and you had this look on your face and it was like, I just had- The spiciest dream. Spiciest dream. Yeah.

And I was like, I just saw her yesterday. I don't need to ask what's going on. I had a, you've spent a lot of time together recently. This is my sprawl free day. I don't need to do that. He calendars them. Yeah, he does. I had a dream, I did have a dream the other day.

I had a series of sexually charged dreams, one of which, we were at an event, us, and it was like a water park opening ceremony. And someone was like, wait. That reopened. It was huge. It was like Barley Bomb. It was like a ginormous

water park and it was an opening ceremony and someone, like some random person came up and was like, do you see who's asleep at the back? And I turned around and there was these like conference chairs and Jason Momoa was asleep in the back. And I was like, oh. Was it one of those nonchalant, like, I'm just going to catch 10 sunglasses, hat down a little bit, a sexy sleep?

100% that vibe. Sexy naps. So I went up to him, I prodded him in the shoulder and he woke up and suddenly he was in a green velvet suit. And I was like, why are you wearing a green velvet suit? We're at the- Water park. Water park. Yeah. And he was like, I'll go wearing a green velvet suit? We're at the water park.

He was like, I'll go get changed. And he took me back to his hotel room. We had sex on the floor. Anyway. Oh, my. Listen to you. Oh, my. Listen to you. Now, in my dreams, I always wake up before it happens.

Yeah, I didn't get to the end. But it was like, it happened. It started. You got a bit of something. No. Go back to sleep. Put me back in, coach like, it hit me, I woke up and I was like, no! You've got a bit of something. No, go back to sleep! Put me back in, coach! Put me back in, I'm ready! I'm ready!

Why'd you take me out of the game, more coach? You're injured. No, I'm not, I'm fine. Let me play. Anyway, so he's at Glen Gary signing Maile vodka bottles, right? Which is his vodka, yeah. Yeah, and everyone's like, one o'clock, one o'clock, Maile, Victoria Park, you've got to turn up.

Is it today? No, Saturday. Saturday. Oh, you're'clock. One o'clock, Hayley. Victoria Park. You've got to turn up. Is it today? No, Saturday. Saturday. Oh, well, you're not working. No. No. No, I'm not. She might be working on her house with her fiancé.

Oh, yeah. Shut up. Why are you talking about that guy? You know she's got an affair brewing. Why? She's allowed to have an affair. Yeah, I'm allowed to have an affair. And if with anyone,

with Jason. On your affair, there is a post on our FEH International Podcast family. Have you seen the switch? No, I haven't. From an anonymous member because in a group now

you can put it on an anonymous post. Okay, what does it say? Is anyone else finding Hayley talking about having an affair brewing a little uncomfortable? I know Aaron knows but I can't help it feel a bit yucky about it. affair brewing a little uncomfortable. I know Aaron knows but I can't help but feel a bit yucky about it. I'm a big fan of the show.

Been listening for ages. I'm just curious if I'm alone in thinking this or am I just being a prude? Were there comments? Doesn't bother me says Anise because it's clearly a joke and I imagine if it bothered him he would have said something and it would stop. It's not a joke. it's clearly a joke. And I imagine if it bothered him, he would have said something and it would stop.

It's not a joke. It's clearly a joke. Shane has said, in reply to Anise, I mean, same. It's obviously a bit. Obviously. Obviously a bit. Clara. I think Clara might have done a couple of sci papers at university.

Okay. This is the definition of a parasocial relationship with people you don't know. Wow. I'm sure you know better than these two who have been in a long-term relationship, but seriously, I'm sure they've discussed in great detail what can and can't be shared on radio.

Don't think too deep into it. It's a comedy show after all. Now, here lies the benefit of the fact that my fiancé, Aaron, doesn't listen to the show. He doesn't? No, he doesn't. You know? Every now and then, his narkeedy brothers

let him know what I'm talking about. Other than that, I've got free reign. Anyway, guys, I'm not lining up with a bottle of vodka. I'm not lining up. I can't do it. It's so silly. Part of you wants to, though, doesn't it? Part of me's like, what am I going to wear?

You can't be one of the plebs lining up. You've got to be like outside with a flat tyre when he comes out and you're like, help. Help. Help. I'm a damsel in distress. I was just pulling in to get myself totally separate,

a bottle of my favourite vodka, totally separate, it happens to be Melee. What's happening here? What are you doing here? That's crazy. Fancy seeing you here. Let's go back to your hotel room and have sex on the floor. And you don't have a green velvet suit on hand

per chance. Oh my god, there's a pool nearby. We could totally just make this happen. Oh, not in the pool. Unless it's a private pool, but then even then you don't want to risk that. That's niche. I love that. Who do you think you are?

That's the TV show in America, right? They take celebrities and they do their DNA and they... Yeah. They find out, like... They've done it in New Zealand. Is this the one where Ben Affleck found out that his family had, like, slave traders? Yeah, it was someone who had...

Yes, Ben Aff someone who had years. Because he was a Boston family. That's a tough one to look in the eye, isn't it? Ancestry.com had an update. I just opened up the app and it asked me if I wanted to make a memorable birthday story for my grandfather who his birthday, his 97th

birthday would have been in a few days. He passed away 10 years ago. Yeah. I should know that because I've put in his date of birth. Oh, yeah. His date of death. Just bring it up. For the family tree.

So we all do this. The Ancestry.com. I'm also not one of those people that wish dead people happy birthday. You know, someone's like, it would have been great. Nana's 127th birthday today. Shining down on us from heaven. Yeah, I don't think I do.

She was never on Facebook. My great-great-great-grandad's 200th birthday. Oh, we miss him. Oh, we miss him dearly. I believe, yeah. We shouldn't laugh. One of the colonisers who came over and slept with a Maori woman,

I think it's his birthday. My great-great-great-grandfather. And we want to say thank you. He was before his time. With his interracial relationship. He was. Yeah, he was. He's woke AF.

That's what he said back in the day. As far as colonisers go. All the other colonisers were like, no, no, don't do that, Kevin. He had a couple of gay mates on the boat over. But I digress. And he had not a problem with it. He's woke.

Did you see last week or the start of this week there was a news story because they do pet DNA testing now and you can swab like your dog or your cat and

then see because you know. Well yours will be pretty obvious. Mine would be obvious because it's I rescued a purebred from the breeder obviously and

I've spoken about that. Negotiated a hostage release fee. A lot of people don't know what their dog is. So this woman had one of these kits but rather than test her dog, she tested herself and it came back and said she was like 40%

Malamute or something. What's it? Malamute. Yeah, Malamute. Like an Alaskan Siberian Husky and Malamute's like the Alaskan Malamute. And she's like I think you're taking the piss. Yeah, that feels... Because she swapped herself and they said you're 40% Alaskan Malamute. And she's like, I think you're taking the piss. Yeah, that feels... Because she swapped herself, and they said you're 40% Alaskan Malamute. Yeah, it was a weird story. I don't know.

We talked about this the other day. If you were a dog breed, what dog breed would you be? I'd be a Leonberger. You wish. Nah, you would be... You'd be a greyhound. Greyhound. I was going to say slinky.

Yeah, I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry, dude. I don't like greyhounds Slinky and intimidated by men I feel sorry for greyhounds Yeah I feel sorry for them But they're yuck They shouldn't be Well that's you

Yuck and I feel sorry for you I can't even be mad That was funny And you're bony And you're always chasing A little fluffy thing around You're bony yeah And when big men walk by

You like quiver and start. Jesus, what happened to this guy? Big men. He quivers when he sees a big boy. It was all those years of racing around the track. It's tormented me. Finds it hard to open his heart and love someone. You're a greyhound, man.

I think I'd be in the Labrador golden retriever. Yeah, for sure. Just because I'd be a chocolate lab. Well, I've opened up my DNA because they update it all the time. Because the more people that use it, the more info they get. I'm still very British. I'm 51% English. I'm still 3% Swedish.

So that's where I get my beautiful blonde looks from. And your tan skin. And my tan skin, yeah. 2% Norwegian. I'm 4 Nor. And then like Welsh and Irish. So plain white, aren't I? Yeah, mine didn't change. I'm still 1% Hawaiian, 19%

Maori, 38% Scottish and the rest is just a mixed bag of white. 1% Welsh. But that didn't, this isn't changed for me. A mixed bag of white. Mixed bag of white mixed bag of white and a good hearty dash of brown yeah

have you changed Smithy? my Scottish has dipped okay a little thank god did it go somewhere spicy? it did well as spicy as it gets

it's like it's salt to white pepper you know like I'm still in the basic condiments on the table sort of spicy

I'm not a hot sauce whereas your wife she's all the Oh my gosh, she's had a big change. She was a lot of Nepalese Indian which I found like that mysterious connection to the Himalayas and there's a lot of spirituality out there. And now it's shifted to South

Indian. Oh my god, I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing. How good. People make a great bread. The best food. She hers is amazing. Yeah. It's awesome to look at. Well, so it compliments your white arm blandness.

Absolutely. Really well. Yeah. I'm the butter chicken and she's the. Everything else. No, she's the butter chicken. You're the rice. No, I'm the butter chicken because that's an Indian invented.

That's an Indian invented. No, you're the rice. You're not even spicy enough. You're the rice. If I'm a greyhound, you're the rice. I'm the rice. I'm the rice. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Now, I'm loving this conversation online. It's very funny to me. Yeah. Because there's a woman trying to, I guess, like give advice on how to navigate this situation. And the situation is you're a single person and you're going away with a group of couples and the expectation being that you'll sleep on a couch.

Oh yeah, I hate this. Which is very funny to me. So she showed an example of a group chat. They're like a big trip away. I think it's three couples and the single. And then someone, the planner is in the chat being like, hey, lots of research on Airbnb. I reckon this is our best bet.

It's got a spa. It's a short Uber from town. Da-da-da-da-da. Let me know what you all think. And then the single chick clicks on it. It's like three double bedrooms, six beds. And then the chat's like, yeah, but there's a couch. It looks quite comfortable.

But is she paying the same amount? Yeah, my dude. Because this is what I hate. It's split seven ways. If you're going to make someone, the single friend, sleep on the shitty bed with a bar in the middle of it, because they always have the couch. There's always a bar. There's always a bar.

The mattress is never good. Couch. And you've got a bad back. They're not great. You can't charge the same as people that are getting a whole room to themselves. I wouldn't pay. I'd be like, okay, fine. I just don't.

If I were to look at the accommodation. Rank importance of person to bedroom at an Airbnb. Number one, master bedroom must go to organiser. Organiser deserves master bedroom. No, but you didn't do that when we stayed together. Because this often happens to me and Aaron when we travel as a couple. It'll go, well, the bigger bed goes to Hayley and Aaron

because Aaron's so massive. Aaron's an exceptional case, though. But you and Sade organised the venue. Yeah. So did you choose the room? Yeah. Did you get the bigger room? Sade said you take the big room with the en suite.

That's what she does. She's a hero. She's a hero. And people are like, oh, wasn't that nice of her? Did you have a conversation, though, like, why'd you do that? Why'd you give them the bigger room? I would have liked to have a room. I love getting there and she'll be like, we can't take the big room. I'm like, oh, wasn't that nice of them. Did you have a conversation though? Like, why'd you do that? Why'd you give them the big room? I would have liked the big room. I love getting there and she'll be like, we can't take the big room.

I'm like, we absolutely can. We're the first here. Oh, always. And if you've organised that, that's your room. So organise against main bedroom. Yeah. Especially, sometimes I'll organise, I'll pay more and I say, I paid more. I get this room.

Yeah. If you pay, okay, if you pay more, you get the good room. But so the solo thing, I get it. This has happened to me. I was a maid of honour at a wedding and we had hired this incredible house and I'd paid for it. Yeah.

Up the wazoo, I'd paid for it. Yeah. And then last minute, Aaron got cast in a film, couldn't come to the wedding. So I was suddenly a solo. And when we got to the thing, I got bumped onto like a pull-out mattress. Wait, they were paying you back?

No. Wait, you'd paid for the entire accommodation? Oh, no, no, sorry. I'd paid for my portion of staying in the house. Did you pay for you and Aaron? Yeah, yeah. So you paid the same as the other couples? As the other couples.

So technically, per person, you paid twice as much. Yes, my friend. And you were the maid of honour. couples? As the other couples. So technically per person you paid twice as much. Yes, my friend. And you were the maid of honour. And I was the maid of honour. There's a hierarchy. And I got bumped to sleep on a pull-out mattress that came out from underneath a couch. Oh, yuck.

And the worst part was Aaron ended up filming near me and staying one of the nights. So he was on the floor. And he was like, how much do we pay for this? I was like, $900. $900? It was absurd. I would have said,

I wouldn't have told them that Aaron wasn't coming. I said, he'll be here at some stage. And then he just isn't coming. Oh no, where is my boyfriend? So just, I know we're going to go. So the end of this, the woman said,

a great thing to text back to the group would be, hey guys, house looks gorgeous, but it doesn't look like there's enough beds for everyone. My back can't do couches so I'll have a look for some more. And just lay the line, I'm not sleeping on the couch.

I deserve a bed! Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey Play ZM So a woman called Victoria she's 39 years old and she did an at home DNA test, you know,

Ancestry.com. 23andMe. 23andMe. Yeah. What kind of dog am I? Yeah. Which Friends character would I be? That's a buzzword.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What game of throng? What Potter house am I in? You do a swab, send it away and it's like, you're Chandler. Monica. I'm not Monica. 70% Chandler. Yeah. 70% Chandler. 30% Joey.

Yeah. So through doing this, and she wanted to have a bit of fun, like we just had a few moments ago looking at our ancestry and what our makeup is. It's silly, but it's fun. Do you know what? I think the number one thing people want to discover is that they're not as white as they think they are.

Whenever my brown percent goes up, I'm always like, hell yeah, babe. I'm so white, I'm stoked when 1%. I've got it a couple of percent Swedish. Different kind of white. Also white. It's a spicier white. Yeah. You're hot or white.

Nothing wrong with a good Scott. Scott hot. It's too much English, though. We do live with Scotland. Anyway, Victoria, 39 years old, made a discovery that her high school boyfriend, who was her first lover, is her half-brother. Brother! She slept with her brother!

How of a sewing machine. How does that jingle go? We're at your side Brother Brother Sewing machines, label makers Well I tell you, her brother was more than at her side He was inside, unfortunately

Inside Brother He was inside Your brother Jesus crikey It's only Thursday I think we're moments away from getting a cease and desist from Brother

Anyway look They should send us a label maker for that free plug I've got a label maker I would label the hell out of everything in my house You can borrow mine No I don't want to pay for the, aren't the labels expensive The tape, no no no I'll let you borrow the tape You can borrow mine. It's great. No, I don't want to pay for the, aren't the labels expensive? The tape. No, no, no.

I'll let you borrow the tape. I would love that. You can have some tape. Brother P touch. Because you're my brother. In Christ. Now, shocking discovery. No one's fault.

So we know about this. Did she, the first thing she does is go to the press or go online and put it on TikTok like everybody does. No, she's been on a journey

with it, obviously. Like, you know, how did this happen? And it was daddy-o. Right. Same daddy-o. Sleeping around. Different mums. Yeah, well you know that your mum would know. Your mum would know, right? Again, I wouldn't tell a soul on earth.

Like what? Like that is hot. That's like a line, that's like a plot out of Shortland Street or some kind of TV soap. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. So she was raised by another man. That was the other thing as well.

So her mum was hiding from her, hiding lies from her, raised by another man, believed it was her father. She had no idea. No. I mean, it's not their fault, is it? Yeah.

So she learned that the dad wasn't her biological father. It was another man who had had another son and she had dated the son in high school and they slept together. Let's discuss those wild discoveries you made

through a DNA test. We've done this a while back and honestly, it's shocking stuff. Like, not my father, not my brother, not this. You know, siblings discovering that one of them is definitely not their sibling and you're like, that is why. You grow up all this time thinking your dad is your dad and he's not.

Yeah. And you find it out because you just sent a test away. Absolutely. Because you were curious. You didn't even think. Yeah. Maybe you discovered something interesting about your spicy makeup. It's like Ursula Carlson.

Blonde, white as snow, has a lot of like black African in her. Yeah, half. Where is it? Like half. Oh, wow. And she had no idea. That woman can't even get a tan. Let alone be half black.

Yeah. She was like, yeah, this is it. Wow. We discussed our DNA a little earlier and also a woman realised that she was sleeping with her brother through doing a DNA test. If you live in a small town and your dad was a dirty dog... Oh, so easy. Could happen.

Honestly, we live in a small country. That's why I imagine we're going to get lots of messages in for the wild things you discovered in your DNA test. So you did a DNA test. What did you find out, Crystal? Oh, hi. So my papa found out that his sister was actually his mother. Oh, this used to happen back in the day.

If the daughter got pregnant young, she'd disappear for a few months and mum would put something under her shirt and then when, ta-da, baby, I had another baby. Oh, yes. She'd disappear for a few months. Right. And mum would put something under her shirt and then when, ta-da, baby, I had another baby. Oh, right. And then, yeah. Yeah, so yeah. It was before I was born, but yeah, so it was a big shock.

Wow, I bet. Also, the relationship you have with your siblings is so different and then you would know that the whole time the sister knew, that would feel like such a betrayal. Yeah, yeah, it was a big, big shock. So what happened afterwards? Were they alive to address

it or? No, no, no. This is, yeah. They were like, we're gone. We're gone. You deal with it. You deal with it. Yeah. So, yeah, it was a shock, yeah. Yeah, amazing. Crystal, thanks for it was a shock, yeah. Yeah, amazing. Crystal, thanks for sharing some messages.

My husband found out that his sister was actually his half-sister and hit up his mum about it, and she said, though DNA is very inaccurate. I would say it's one of the most accurate things there is. It's overturned historic cases, criminal cases, isn't it? Yeah, it really is. DNA, they'll run it a few times. It's quite individual, isn't it? It's a criminal cases, isn't it? DNA. It really is. They'll run it a few times. It's quite individual, isn't it?

It's extremely individual. I never knew my birth father, but after a DNA test, they found out I'm 50% Irish because he apparently was a right little rascal. Really a little rascal. He was a little rascal. He was 100% Irish. Oh. Wow.

Okay. I found my half siblings and had to break to the news to them that their dad who had passed away was a sperm donor to my gay parents that they definitely didn't know. Okay, wait. Go again. In my mind, I'm doing a family tree. I found my half siblings from a denatist.

So this person was, I'm guessing, just from the power of deduction. Yep. The child of a lesbian couple. Yes. Who had used an anonymous sperm donor. Yes. To get pregnant. And then this person was the outcome.

Wow. So then when they did a DNA test, it's like, bing, you have the donor. DNA very close to you. Yep. Here's a connection and she found her half siblings because her dad, prior to perhaps them, or perhaps dad just liked to put her in the back. A lot of people do this, the donor thing, don't they?

Yeah, but you would- And then end up being the donor for a lot. I think you would hope that if my dad was donating his sperm to someone else, you'd hope that you'd be aware of it for the very reason that you don't end up sleeping with your half siblings. Yeah, exactly. Let me know. I found my mum's sister in Ireland. I knew she had brothers, but we had no idea that she had a sister, but this DNA result was like, you've got a very close relative. Wow.

Anonymous, what happened with the DNA test? So I found my father after looking for 30 years and then found out I have four siblings and now him and my mother are dating. What? Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Family tree time. Family tree. Wait, so. Someone fetch me a pen. You're. Okay. Yeah. Wow.

Wait a minute. Okay. So go again. Go again from the top. You, you decide to send away your spit in a tube to do a DNA test. Yeah. Because you don't know where your dad is. Or who he is.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And what did you discover? I found a relative of his and reached out, and they said, yeah, I know who your dad is. Then he contacted me. We've seen each other a few times.

He doesn't live in the country. Wow. But, yeah, so then I found out I had four siblings and now him and my mother are dating. Wait, what? Are they doing online or does your mum live in that other country as well?

No, he flies in, flies out. Wow. So how did this come about? Were you the result of a hookup or, like, a high school romance or? It was just a really weird situation, to be honest. Wow. It was all over the show, but, yeah, anyway.

I love that. And so now they've rekindled that romance or that connection. And your mum and dad are dating, even though you didn't know your dad for 30 years. Whoa. And could your mum, and your mum had no idea who he was or where to contact them, or she did know who he was, but didn't know how to.

She did, but didn't know how to contact him, yeah. Right. Oh my gosh. Oh my God, that is insane. What a fascinating story. What a mind play for you that your parents. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

Wow. And what was it like meeting your dad? Because you would have, well, I'm assuming you'd have some kind of idea of him. And then did he live up to what you wanted him to be? Oh, more than. We've got a really close relationship now. We talk every day. I really like, I'm really happy for you.

That's so nice. That's cool. And he was just unaware of your existence prior to the DNA test. Yeah. Wow. I had a friend who didn't know her dad and then met him eventually and it was really disappointing. So I'm glad for you that that's not the case.

And actually it's turned into this whole like family. Yeah. That's so nice. Anonymous. That's cool. Incredible. I don't think we're going to top that story. My cousin did a DNA test.

Someone in the database with a match reached out to them and said, how are we related? It turns out to be a half-brother of mine, and Dad had some explaining to do. Oh, my gosh. My mum was adopted and through DNA tests found out who her biological father was. Nothing wild, but what was crazy was that her biological father

and her adoptive father both died on exactly the same day. Oh my gosh. She killed them. I don't think, there's not a follow up text saying I killed them. My dad's family always said they tanned well because they were Greek. Oh yeah. And Mediterranean and the DNA test said they were Middle Eastern sort of bordering Pakistan. Dad's like, not correct. It doesn't lie, Dad.

It's not right. It doesn't lie. Yeah, DNA is very accurate. I found out through DNA testing my partner and I are sixth cousins. That's okay. That's okay. I think we're all sixth cousins, you know? Don't we come from seven families?

Yeah, if we all go back far enough, Noah's Ark, actually, one family. And that was pretty question mark, wasn't it? Adam and Eve. Even further back. One rib we came from. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah. I sort of feel grateful reading these,

and I haven't discovered anything particularly spicy. Oh, dude, my family's so vanilla in every aspect. Absolutely. I know, I'm absolutely okay. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. We're in pirate week, by the way, here at fact of the Day.

We're in pirate week, by the way, here at Fact of the Day. And one of the coolest thing about pirates, undeniably the coolest thing about pirates, they're ships. I was going to say the fashion. The fashion. Fashion was their passion. Jackets.

Yeah. The pants, the boots. The tricorn hats, but kind of like a, not, you know, flash, military, but roughed up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The boots The tricorn hats Not Flash military But roughed up A bit naughty But your pirate ships Are also cool But my question is

Where did they get their ships from Because they're pirates They built them Pirates never built ships Did they just steal them? They stole them. But whose ships were they originally? Great question.

Vikings. No, they had different ships. Vikings did build their own ships. They did pillaging up and down coasts, but they arrived in their own ships. But pirates- BYO ship. The golden age of pirates.

When we think about pirates, we think of, you know- 17th. Pirates of the Caribbean, 1700s pirates. So they would steal their ships. Some of them started out life as buccaneers and privateers, and that's kind of what pirates is drawn from, privateers. What's a buccaneer? Buccaneer was a government-employed person

that wasn't part of the military, kind of like a mercenary. But law-abiding. Well, they would work outside of the usual lines of the law to get things done that needed to be done that were perhaps a little bit questionable. Right, okay. I'm talking your CIA operatives at the time. Yeah, right, right.

Do what must be done. Your spies. But they had questionable morals. Okay. Because they would do things that, you know, nice guys and gals wouldn't do. No gals back then, let's be honest. There was, it was female pirates.

They're most, oh, you know what, I might do females and female pirates tomorrow. Yes, please. Finish it on a Friday with a little female pirate. I thought we were simply wenches to look at. No, absolutely not. My queen, my queen, no you may, please. Stay churned. Take a flotilla. Oh my gosh.

Yeah, flotilla. Of all the pirates you could possibly handle. So they got their ships. The buccaneers or the privateers would be like, yeah, okay, what do you want done, Kingdom of Holland? Yeah. And they'd be like, we want this set. And they'd go out and they'd be like, we'll get it done for you. Sail offshore and yell as loud as they could,

sake, thanks for the boat. And they'd just become pirates. Oh. So they were like provided a boat to do a task. Yes. And then they just commandeered it. They just commandeered the boat. And they just become pirates. Oh. So they were like provided a boat to do a task. Yes. And then they just commandeered it. They just commandeered the boat. And they were like some of the best sailors out,

so they would just never catch them. Yeah. And they would be pirates. Other situations, and there's a historic situation of a pirate crew starting by literally a naval ship was in dock, and they paddled up to it in a little dinghy that they stole off the side of the beach, paddled up to it, climbed up the side, untied it, sailed it away and just that's our boat now. Right. And then they would hermit crab.

Right. When they got a big crew and they got too big for the boat they had, they'd just steal a bigger boat. So why was the boat the style? Because you look at a pirate ship and you're like, that looks like a pirate ship. Yeah. Why was the style of the boat? Because that was just the style of the time.

Yes, Spanish galleons and stuff, they had a specific look. But when pirates got them in, like, they were the, I found a really cool article called Pirate Ships, Hot Rods of the Sea. Oh, that's nice. Because when something happened, they couldn't afford to do it. They couldn't afford to dry dock it and fix it like militaries of the sea. Oh, that's nice. Because when something happened, they couldn't afford to dry dock it and fix it like militaries of the time would.

Or these super rich sailing traders would. They would just fix it on the go as they could and that's why they started looking rough, patched together, bogged up. We should give a moment now just to remember the Rainbow's End pirate ship. Yeah. If we could have a moment of silence for the Rainbow's End pirate ship. Yeah. If we could have a moment of silence for the Rainbow's End pirate ship. That's someone who ate too much before they got on the pirate ship.

Someone spewed on me. You know what I'm saying? It's you, yuck. It's sloshing around the bottom. So today's fact of the day is pirates never built their own ships That steal them And then hermit crabbed the bigger ones when they needed them

Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Just before we get to your fly incident, Hayley, just a quick update. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley live our shows that are happening in Auckland and Christchurch. Yesterday, Christchurch sold out. Can't come. No, I'm coming.

If you want to come to Christch It, you can't. But Auckland, there are still tickets available. And yesterday after the show, we did a walkthrough at the Civic where we are doing the Fletcher Live show and we stood there and then they turned the lights on. And I was just like, oh my God. And I was like,

look at that butt. That's what he said. Oh my God. Becky, look at that butt. It is that venue is ginormous. It's going to what he said. Oh my God. Becky, look at that butt. It is insane. That venue is ginormous. It's going to be so fun. Oh my God. Yeah, so tickets still on sale for Auckland.

There were earlier this morning. Do you have an update? One of you got the... Actually, that's a very good question. Ticketmaster open. So Ticketmaster for the Auckland shows. It's all thanks to Heineken Silver. A surprisingly smooth, low-carb Heineken. By the way, we are like 14, 15 days away from that show.

Yeah. The two resale tickets are still available, row K. That's on the floor. That's on the floor and then everything else is up at the top. Open up the next level. Also, if you are in a wheelchair. Yep. We've got some great seats for you.

Yeah, true. Don't think that you're going to be left out of this. Yeah, don't take them out. We've got accessibility. Accessible seats still available? you. Yeah, true. Don't think that you're going to be left out of this. Yeah, don't take them out. We've got accessibility. Accessible seats still available? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Don't like, you know, be like, oh, there's an old wheelchair in my garage.

But what I'm saying is if Nana's not using a mobility scooter. You've got a couple of bloody good seats. All the details at ZM Online. Now, yesterday I was sitting on a chair, as I am wont to do, you know, as is my right as a homeowner. Yep. I'm going to sit on my chair. Okay.

And I was just sitting there, I think I was on my phone like this and I had my hand like this. And this summer we have had such a problem with flies. Oh my Lord. Every day I'm killing flies. Every day. And if we don't vacuum every day,

which at the moment we're not because we're doing so much sanding, what's the point? There's just corpses everywhere of flies because we've got an automatic dispenser. Anyway, so the last of the flies were coming in before we closed up the house and one

flew past me. And the only thing that I can work out is that it peed on me as it flew over my hand. I don't know if flies do pee. My dude. They poo.

Like, they leave those little dots on the ceiling. They spew. That's their spew, is it? No, it's poo. It's poo. Okay, a fly does not have a bladder or bowel control. Because of their large intake of food, they deposit urine and feces constantly,

one of the factors that make the insect a dangerous carrier of pathogens. Right. Because they definitely, like, cack on my ceiling. That's under fruit flies. Because this big blowfly, like, in slow-mo, coming in, coming towards me, and I was getting ready to smack it away, and then it kind of flew over my hand

where a little clear droplet landed. I'll call it a droplet. Boink. Like... I think you just had a wet fly. Oh'll call it a droplet. Boink. Like. I think you just had a wet fly. Oh, like it had been in. I think the fly had just pulled itself out of some water. No, but he'd flown from the kitchen.

Surely it would have dropped off. Kitchen, flying into the lounge, past me, me, me, past my head, droplet. And it was clear. And I was like, ooh, a fly wet on me. Flies and other insects produce a sort of solid crystalline waste. Much of the point of urine is to get rid of waste from nitrogen containing blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's a wet, clear droplet. Uric acid is insoluble and tends to form a white powder or paste. So they aren't peeing or flies don't pee on you. Well, what did it do on me? What did it do on me? It did something on you. Because it hovered over my hand and then plop, a little

clear droplet onto my hand. Really? Maybe it must have, was that a bit of spit from your mouth? Could have been my own spit. Could it have been your own? As I was saying so fly. So fly. I could have spat on myself. Either a fly peed on me

yesterday or I spat on my own hand. Either or. Well, Google is saying, yeah, Google, a lot of posts saying that they don't, like, just squirt liquid pee. Right. They don't do that. Well, it did something on me. And I will forever be scarred from it. Maybe you need to up the, of your automatic sprays.

Get that going a bit harder. Yeah. All right, I'll do that today. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. These stats do come out of the USA, but I'd imagine it's pretty similar here. Excuse me, that is pronounced Oosa. Oosa, sorry, out of the Oosa.

My Oos. 47% of parents are still financially supporting adult children. And it's becoming a big drain on them. Which is what you've got to look forward to, Vaughn, with two kids. Yeah. I knew that. Yeah.

Yeah, but how long? When do you start changing the locks? Like 22? Those are my babies. 25? Those babies are growing up so fast. Yeah, they're growing up so fast they can still come to dad

for a little bit of pocket money if they need it. I definitely... Almost could be 34 and she's like, Dad, I want to order something off Tim. I was like, I'll get that for you. No, you won't. You'll get sick of it.

No, you won't. As someone who went to drama school and got a silly degree that definitely didn't pay off immediately, I was hitting up my dad left, right and centre for money until like, I don't know, last week. Until, yeah, I don't know. Yesterday week. Until, yeah, I don't know.

Yesterday, I think I texted him for a 20. How long were you, weren't you on the phone plan or the insurance? Phone plan, insurance plan until I was working here. My mum was like, you've got a real job now. Like, absolutely not. But insurance is weird because if you have it since when you were a kid. 1997, my policy started. So it's just cheaper to stay on it, right?

And even if you paid them for it? Yeah, the suggestion was years ago, I think you should start paying for your own insurance. And I just didn't. It worked out in America that some parents, those 47% of parents, are shelling out $1,300 a month. Far out.

On their kids. Yeah, if I think back to the days where I couldn't do rent and stuff, it would be a good couple of hundy a month. Far out. On their kids. I mean, but yeah, if I think back to the days where I couldn't do rent and stuff, it would be a good couple of hundy a week. And it was always like, oh my god, you know, I'll pay you back. Yeah. Never pay you back. How much were you spending on booze

and cigs back in the day? All of it. Daddy, I need rent. Daddy, daddy. Dad was out there buying cigarettes. I'm gonna be gagging for a dairy, daddy. Help me rent. Daddy, I've been buying cigarettes. I'm going to be gagging for a diary, Daddy. Help me. Daddy, I need... Daddy, I want your princess to go

and have sweet, sweet cigarettes to you. Isn't that terrible? Also, 61% of the adult children that are living at home that were surveyed do not contribute to household expenses at all. Shannon. No food, no nothing. Producer Shannon, you're 24. Yeah. do not contribute to household expenses at all. No food, no nothing.

Producer Shannon, you're 24. Yeah. You recently moved back home with your parentals. Yes. Do you contribute to the household? Yes. Good girl. Pay for food and contribute to the house and then we share meals, which has been so nice.

Yeah, that's nice. And then, yeah, to help around the house, obviously, as well. I moved home to my parents. They would charge me full rent. And so they should. Well, they's nice. And then yeah, to help around the house obviously as well. I remember if I moved home to my parents they would charge me full rent. And so they should. Well, they're retired now as well so they'll be like, this is a great income opportunity. And that's what they say is that parents are struggling because the cost of

living has gone up for parents as well. I know, but they're mortgage free and the house they bought for $15 in 1982 is now worth $2 million. So I struggle to feel sorry for them. Yeah, I love that you are. I have to look after the babies in the world that they have doomed. You doomed the world. You chose to have me, now you must look after me.

If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends.