ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 21st March, 2025

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Sia's baby name Most datable careers Hayley's Friday night plans Top 6 NZ'ers that were robbed of NZ'er of the year Tiktok march dumping theory SLP - Do you know how much your colleagues earn? Auckland flatmates wanted page for sale Vaughan's new doormat from indie What got stuck in ya?Friday Flashback Vaughan has found the joy of life Calling Hayley's Mum Fact of the Day What do you regret about your wedding?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network,

this is Flesh, Wood and Hayley's Big Pod, brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Flesh, Wood and Hayley. We're already laughing out louder. Thank you Bryn.

Good morning. Happy Friday we made it. Oh thank goodness. What is this weekend the second to last weekend of Daylight Savings? Am I right in saying that? Yeah. Not this weekend

or the weekend after. Yeah two weeks. Two weeks away. Oh poos. Already getting a lot colder. Darker too. Mum sent a photo of a bit of snow on Mount Taranaki. Wow.

A little light dusting, which would explain why it's a little bit colder in the mornings. Colder. Secret sound coming up again this morning at 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock. Thanks to Super Liquor, $50,000. Not bad. Not bad. Still going. I thought it would have gone by now. Oh. I thought it would have gone by now.

Oh, I thought it would have gone by now. It's a hard sound, though. If you think you know what it is, seven o'clock. Again, it's a wooden horse. It's a wooden horse sneezing, I'm telling you. And you've all been laughing about it for weeks. And then when it comes out

that it's a wooden puppet horse sneezing, you'll be like, we should have listened. Should have listened. I just, I nailed that. Did you hear that? That was me, not the sound. It was beautiful.

But you're not a wooden horse. But I'm an actor. Next on the show, a celebrity has had a baby. Yep. And given it the most. Didn't she also just separate from her husband of two years? Is it his baby? No, yeah, it is.

This is how we found out about it. It was in the court filings. So it's come out. Yeah. One is a secretive celebrity. Yes. And the most ridiculous name for a baby. Pretty dumb.

Pretty dumb. Don't hold back, guys. We'll get into this next. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Sia. Sia. Sia. Who we love.

Yeah. Australian. Aussie. True blue. Party girls. Incredible songwriter. Yeah. Australian? Aussie, true blue. Incredible songwriter. Yeah. Amazing singer.

Do you remember that tweet one day where she was like, I just woke up, eight songs in the top ten. Yeah. So she writes a lot of songs. She doesn't just write songs for her to sing. Yeah. She wrote songs written by Sia. Imagine just waking up from a nap.

I think the tweet was from around that diamonds time. Shun, brother, like a diamond. Yeah, waking up from a nap and you've got three or four songs in the top ten that have just made you money while you're sleeping. Mate, she's crushing it. Remember when she adopted a 35-year-old man or something like that? She adopted two 18-year-olds, which if you merge them into one becomes one 35-year-old. Yeah, that's right. Well, sadly, she has filed for divorce from her husband of two years.

And it's because of that court filing that we found out that a year ago, on March 27, she had a little baby boy. She had a baby boy. Who she named Somersault Wonder Bernard. Oh, no. Is her real last name Bernard or something, or was it her ex-husband? Yeah, Bernard.

Might have been her ex. Yeah, okay, well. Who she separated from. Yeah, her husband, Dan Bernard. Yeah, she's furler. Somersault. Yeah, S-O-M-E-R-S-A-U. Yeah, so even if you were to nickname, and it's a boy,

so you couldn't call a boy Summer, could you? I suppose you could. Could, yeah. Soma. Som. Som. Somi. Somi.

Salts. Salts. Sapsalts. Wonder. Somersault's a bit just, it's not a, what it is is it's not a name. It's not a name. So what that is is, yeah, that's bit just it's not a what it is is it's not a name it's not

so what that is is yeah that's a it's not a name physical action yeah more than a name sort of a

verb meets a noun yeah yeah yeah it's called that but you do it yeah I just feel sorry for kids that get these weird names

wackadoo names and then have to grow up explaining them every single day of their lives. Remember I worked with a minstrel? I didn't know where that was going.

Her name was Minstrel. Yeah, her name was Minstrel. Oh, I thought you said you worked with a minstrel like you worked with someone who chose to dress as a minstrel. And I said, in the 1800s? No, yeah, I had a minstrel. And what was her? Minty. Her and Minty would be the third.

Minty, which was cute had a minstrel. And what was her? Minty. Her and Minty would be a third. Minty, which was cute. Yeah, Minty. But constantly people would be like, Minty, what an interesting name. Are you named after Minties? Yeah, Minties. And she'd be like, well, that's not even the half of it. It's actually short for minstrel. Yeah.

I mean, at least it's the gollywog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just call her Golly. Yeah. Weirdest names, Banjo, Almond, Dijon. I like Banjo, but for a dog. No, it just makes me think of Banjo String. A bit under the penis.

Omega. Spicy? Rooster. Can I talk about Banjo String? I've got a question. Yeah. Nah, it's too much. Is it just for us? Is it an off-air conversation, Vaughn? Yeah, I think so.

Okay. Okay. Well, now, do you want to mute us, and we'll see if it's appropriate for on-air. It's definitely not appropriate for on-air. You're just feeling spicy. You have a question as a man that doesn't have one. I'll ask it. No, don't.

Wait, wait, wait. So where's the banjo string at? I believe it's gone. Yeah, of course it's gone because it's what attaches. The foreskin. So I've not only got an also superior looking penis. That's the first thing. Do circumcised people have a banjo string?

No. Huh. Because whenever I hear about people breaking it, I'm like, how are they doing this? They must really be thrashing it about. I had a flatmate that broke it once and told me about it. And I was just like, stop, stop. Yeah, bloodbath.

Like, it's an A&E. You go an A&E. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it won't stop until you get it dealt with. Well, I think that's a world record for going from a celebrity baby name to uncircumcised penises. Circumcised men don't have banjo strings. I've always wanted it and now I know it at 43 years old.

Yeah, I love this. Always learning. And Sia, there's the great name for your next baby. Banjo string. Banjo string, perfect. Somersault banjo string. Well, now that Sia's single, she's going to want to know who to date next, isn't she? Yeah.

Also, why did we go with banjo string of all the stringed instruments? Is it a bit thicker? Bang, bang, bang. Guitar string? Maybe because it's tight, like the banjo's got a tight sound. Bing, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I'm sure. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Okay, there was some research done by a website

called The League about the kind of careers that people are looking for by all genders when they're dating someone. That's an appealing career. And I assumed it would be money-based. Or anything that AI is not going to replace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, are you going to be able to keep this job

for the next decade at least? Some longevity. So 40% of respondents said that they want their potential partner to have a job that brings them passion and joy. That was the most important thing. Something that excites them more so than money. Or security.

Yeah, or security like that. So here are the most dateable careers. I have a list. Now, wait, before you go down the list, is Radio DJ on the list? Well, no. You're scrolling. Okay,

well. Unless you put us in tech? No. That's a stretch. Because tech's number seven. Okay. Passion for problem solving,

innovation and creativity. Those in tech are arguably the best at finding solutions to everyday problems. We do use a computer to broadcast the show. Okay, we work in tech. What's this? What's this microphone? Tech. Those in tech are arguably the best at finding solutions to everyday problems. We do use a computer to broadcast the show. Okay, we work in tech. What's this?

What's this microphone? Tech. It's tech. It's technology. I'm not yelling so loud that New Zealand can hear us. This is a microphone. We're in tech.

We're in tech. Okay, so we're number seven because we've got a problem solving. Let's go from the bottom which is eight is finance. Looking for a man in finance.

A Brad Olsen of sorts. Now, everyone, when Brad Olsen was in studio was texting in, is that boy single? Yeah, but Brad's an anomaly. Finance boys are the army of the suit world. They're the armed forces lads of the suit world. They can't be trusted.

Seen as goal-oriented, strong sense of direction they could bring to the relationship. They're financially savvy, bringing stability to the life in the future. Yeah, nice cars and always have a Coke hookup. Carry on. Always with a baggie. Seven's tech.

Six is science. Pharmacists, chemists, researchers saying intelligence is sexy, problem-solving skills. Again, curiosity, passion for learning. Five is just business. I think that's too broad. Yeah, that's way too broad. See, you said this list was all passion and stuff, but it all just sounds like the jobs that get paid the most.

Well, wait for number four, law. We've got lawyers in here. Also, if we could just dip back to science, I think everybody's sexying up science, like romanticising science. Like they're going to be with someone that makes a breakthrough when a lot of it is just like hard grind, proving somebody else's things. Years and years and years. And it's not sexy white lab coats either.

And she takes her glasses off and takes her ponytail out and you're like, oh my god, I had no idea the scientist was hot this whole time. Law including police officers, detectives and lawyers. That's a power thing. High stakes, power, all that kind of stuff. Protective. Okay, here's your top three. Emergency response, courageous, dependable, brave,

fire-fighters, empty, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah. And their ha-ha-ha-ha, their uniforms. Yeah. Number two is education. Yeah. Working with kids, passion for learning and growing, that kind of stuff.

Great qualities, good with people, great work-life balance, they say, because all of those holidays. Yeah. What do they get, six-month holidays? If you're dating someone who's an educator and they get all the holidays and you don't, you come to resent the fact that- They're on break.

Yeah, they're on break all the time. No, but they're not. They're doing work. No, I know there's a lot of work behind the scenes, but they do it from home or the beach or personal, whatever. They go, oh, that's going to rearrange their classroom and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Or you do match up your holidays with theirs and all the flights are expensive because it's school holidays.

True, true. Okay, number one on the most dateable careers list, healthcare. So your doctors, your nurses, financial security is on the list. Intelligence and caregiving that you get from people working in healthcare. All solid careers. Yeah, all great careers. I mean, you're not seeing your actors, your comedians. You're not seeing your skateboarders, your pro skateboarders.

Yeah, yeah. You're not seeing, I've got to say it, you're not seeing your magicians and your circus folk. You're just not seeing it, Shannon. Do you know what I mean? You can't buy taste. You can't, you know what, you can't. Play.

ZM. Spledgeforn and Hayley. What information might I be able to share about my evening tonight? Do you know what's funny? Okay. Okay. So everyone keeps asking, is there going to be another season of Sex.Life with me and Morgan?

The podcast. Excuse me, Vaughan? Are you just watching reels? I actually find the podcast filthy. No, you don't. You listen to the whole thing and become a reflect. I'm a dedicated listener. I really enjoy it. You are.

You had more questions than anyone. Yeah, always. Always got questions. Always keep asking. He loves to learn. He's a passion for learning. Yeah. You guys also helped me learn something the other day as well. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're happy to be special guests

on Sextile That would actually be quite an entertaining episode if you did invite Vaughn and got his hot tips Well listen On how to live a vanilla life Missionary 101

Season 2 is happening Season 2 has happened Yeah. Missionary 101. Yeah. That's a good Lord and tender. Season two is happening. Season two has happened. Season three. Season three. Why? This is not an official launch. It's not an official launch.

Not an official launch. But boy, oh boy, it seems like me and Morgan have been meeting a lot, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Boy, oh boy, it certainly feels that way. It's entered its research phase.

Yeah. Well, we, so. Put your phone down. What are you doing? I'm trying to turn it down. It kept turning up. Just turn we... Put your phone down. What are you doing? Trying to turn it down. Keep turning up. Just turn it off. It is off. So, we are doing something tonight. That's all I can say about the thing that we're doing.

And I am partaking. Now, usually you would know that in season one and two, Morgan does all the doing, I do all the questioning. She gave you a bit of homework. Give me a bit of homework. Yeah, and I would do the home play and reflect on that.

But today I'm taking part in an event. And you know what's funny? She said to me, because the event's in town, and she said to me like, oh, you know, because we all live so far away. She was like,

well, just get ready at Fletcher's. I was like, Fletcher doesn't need to see me in that. Fletch does not need to see me in that. Fletcher does not need to see me in the outfit I have planned to wear tonight. I did wonder why you guys got a hotel. I was like, I've got the spare room. Oh, babes. Yeah, no, I don't need

to see that. Let's just say I did buy a collar yesterday. Do you know what I mean? And I just don't know that you need to see that. What is happening? Well, you just... I know that you said you signed forms. I signed forms, I have There have been forms signed for this thing Yep, I have forms signed

I have Are you and Morgan getting a mortgage? No That's pretty sexy We didn't have to go to see a Justice of the Peace We haven't gone that far Right But yeah, I'm excited

Tonight I will be doing something with Morgan For the podcast, not wearing any clothes. Well, how comfortable do you feel about that? How do you feel about it? Do you know what? If she had asked me to do this at the top of season two or one or two, I would have been like, I'm not going.

Absolutely not. I can't do that. Right now, and it's got nothing to do with my body or anything like that. Right now, I'm like, I'm so excited. Really? I'm nervous. Okay. And I've got to give everything a bit of a perimeter trim.

Yep. You know? Again, glad you're not getting ready at my house. I will be doing that. My drain doesn't need to be blocked by those. Yeah. Do you feel like, yeah, that would cross a line in our friendship if I'd left my pubes in your shower?

Yes, and I had to fish them out with the brush. Yeah, no, that's a line. Yeah, it's too much. Oh, no, it's gone. That's a line. No, no, no, I'm not doing that. No, no, but yeah, I'm going pubes in your shower. Yes, and I had to fish them out with the brush. Yeah, no, that's a lie. Yeah, it's too much. Oh, no, it's gone. That's a lie. No, no, no, I'm not doing that. No, no, but yeah, I'm going to have an everything shower. I will be wearing not much.

Wow. When season three is released, which I can't say when, I can't say anything. You'll hear all about it. Yee-haw! Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. A huge congratulations to Professor Bev Lawton, ONZM.

Oh, that's us. Yeah, she's on ZM. She's on ZM. That's her thing. Order of New Zealand Merit. Bingo. Okay. Described as a pioneering force in women's health in Aotearoa,

as the founder and director of Te Tatai O Ora O Hine, the National Centre for Women's Health Research Aotearoa. She's New Zealander of the Year. Oh, fantastic. Sounds worthy. Over the past year alone, her advocacy led to New Zealand's historic shift to HPV self-testing as the primary method for cervical screening.

So this is your pap smears. And then the people weren't going because they felt embarrassed and awkward. And now you can just go to the doctor, you pop into the bathroom, do it yourself. Yep. So easy. Working closely with communities, building strong relationships. She's a hell of a woman. Man.

Bravo. New Zealander of the year. But I must say, I've got the top six New Zealanders who were robbed of a New Zealander of the Year award. Oh, yeah, of course. Robbed. Robbed. Number six on the list,

Tom Phillips. Name any other Kiwi that's gone bush and been better at hide and seek with three kids. That dude deserves, that dude deserves to be locked up in prison. being away with three kids in the bush.

But it's sort of a kidnapping thing. Dad, there's no Wi-Fi. It's kind of kidnapping. Well, let's kids in the bush. But it's sort of a kidnapping thing. It's kind of kidnapping. Yeah. Well, let's talk to the kids. Even if they're enjoying it, Vaughn, it's still kidnapping. Is that his kids? That's like saying dad's babysitting his own kids.

He's not. He's just being a father. Sounds like something Vaughn would do. I do. I've got to say, guys, never say, oh, I can't. I'm babysitting my kids. It drives me nuts when dudes are like, sorry, gotta babysit the kids.

They're your kids! All you're doing is fathering. Women who say, oh, where's Bourne, is he babysitting tonight? He's being a father to the children! If you want to avoid all of that, just come out with Hayley and I for a drink

and don't have kids. We don't talk about kids at all. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing we might say is, isn't this nice? Thank God we don't have kids. Yeah.

Yeah, that might be the only mention of kids. That might be the one. Number five on the list of the top six New Zealanders who were robbed of a New Zealander of the Year award, the airport beagle. Oh, yeah. No pets. No pets.

I know he's never allowed pets. All I want to do is pat that beagle. And not even allowed to keep the drugs he finds. I know. He sniffs them. He's like, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum, yum. And they're like, sorry, but here's a little treat and a pat from the handler, but no pats

from the people and no drugs for you. It's like, what's this built on? I want cocaine. I want the treats from South America, not South Africa. Number four on the list of the top six New Zealanders who were robbed of the New Zealander of the Year award. I've got to put a shout out for the Inter-Islander. It just keeps breaking down and running into things,

but it won't stop. It keeps going. It won't quit. It's like, send me in, coach. I can do it. Inter-Islander, you've run adrift a couple of times lately when your engine stopped. It won't happen again.

I promise. Get in. It's a work again. Promise. Get in. It's a workhorse. Robbed. It's a real workhorse. Number three on the list. And I just want to say, it looks like it's going to be around for a while yet. Aaron was recently on.

He had a great time. Did he Blue Bridge or Inter-Islander? Inter-Islander. He went Inter-Islander. I like the Blue Bridge because you can have a cabin and go nunnies. Is that what you call it? Never heard it called that before. Sleeping. Have a sleep. go nunnies. Is that what you call it? I've never heard it called that before. Yeah.

Sleeping. Have a sleep. Oh, sorry. Right. Number three. Get your mind out of the gutter. Oh, get real. The Bluebridge is full

of truck drivers and you're telling me someone hasn't had a bloody spank. On the cook straight. They haven't spanked the monkey. Oh, boy.

How's that for a 90s phrase? What was that from? What does that even mean? The origins of Spank the Monkey. Well, we'll do a deep dive after seven this morning. No, we won't. Yeah, we will. Absolutely.

Do that in your own time at home with the iPad. Deep dive. Number three on the list of the top six New Zealanders who were robbed of the New Zealander of the Year Award are Burma the Elephant, who moved to South Australia this year. That's right. Leaving New Zealand without any elephants.

But what was remembered as our last elephant. Better pay over there. Yeah, way better pay. Burma's actually working in the mines. Yeah, doing what is it? Pulling coal trucks out of there. FIFO. Yeah, fly in, fly out, Operation Dumbo.

They just parachute her out the back of the plane. Number two on the list of the top six New Zealanders who were robbed of the New Zealander of the Year award, the Mad Butcher. He hasn't said anything publicly controversial in ages. He deserves that award. It was a while ago where he was cranking them out every six weeks. Oh, yeah.

Either people have stopped listening to him or he's just not doing it. Either way, last time I saw him, he punched me real hard. That's right. How have you been?, last time I saw him, he punched me real hard. That's right. How have you been? Punch. And I was like, ow! Sore.

We are not in the Warriors muck about room now, man, Butcher. Ouch! And number one on the list of the top six New Zealanders who are robbed of a New Zealander of the Year award, it's got to be Hana Rafati Maipi-Clark, the paper-ripping haka leader that led to 10,000 memes. It was a great meme. I think the strongest New Zealand

made meme of the year, easily. It's not the meme of the year awards, Vaughan. It's New Zealand of the year. But she gave us a New Zealand meme. Nah. We'll see Hannah in the meme of the year awards. Okay, we'll see her in the meme of the year awards. That is today's Top 6.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Unreal that it's the 21st of March and I think we're just going to say that the whole year until we die. No, not the whole year.

Our whole lives until we die because the year is going so fast. It's the 21st of March, nearly April. But March is apparently, they call it the March theory. This is huge on TikTok.

People saying March theory. Look out. What is the March theory? The theory is that March is apparently, they call it the March theory. This is huge on TikTok. People saying March theory, look out. What is the March theory? The theory is that March is the perfect breakup month. So if you are in a relationship that you're like, this ain't working,

March is the month. Is this so coming from TikTokers in the Northern hemisphere? I was going to say, because it's spring. And that is something, I feel like New Zealanders will relate to, October, November. Everyone's like, need to hit the gym.

Totally. Hot summer's coming. Totally, totally. I mean, that's mentioned in a lot of people's videos. Like, I'm getting ready for a hot girl summer. I'm not, you know, I'm going to leave this relationship. But a lot of it is also, Valentine's Day's out of the way. Yeah.

We don't want to dump near Valentine's. And also, you've started the year and you're just getting to, it's like, still we're kind of saying that March is the beginning of the year. We're kind of still at the top of that. I mean, we're nearly a quarter of the way through the year. And you're like, I'm not going to continue. I don't want to, I've started

the year with this and I don't like it, so I'm not going to continue. It's a late Easter this year too so you don't have to buy them a creme egg. You've got to save it on creme eggs. Or you spend the same amount of money on creme eggs but you get more creme eggs. Or did you tell me there's a Terry's chocolate orange creme egg? My dude, my king, my love.

Somebody put somebody I saw on Instagram saying yum and I was like a dude big you're pardon madame. Where the hell did this come from? I wanna. Yeah. Terry's chocolate orange.

I love Terry's chocolate orange. I love a Terry's chocolate orange. Yum. Yum. Well, they say that much. And then if you're single. That actually makes a lot of sense though, because you're like, okay, these are my goals for the year.

This is everything I want. And it's not going. We're checking in. It's not going the way I want with this guy or this girl. Totally. And then if you're single, they're like this is a great time to get out there and be a mingling because there's lots of people

freeing up, you know? Because everyone else is breaking up. Yeah. So if you wake up today and you're a little bit like, um, I don't know about this guy. Dump him today. Ditch your man! Ditch your man today. Do it today.

Thrum in the dump. And then you can just be out and about on the prowl. How exciting is that? Did I just ruin lives? I think you did. Yeah, great. Love it. Love it.

What you're saying is start a fight today. What? I reckon like put the, what's the like the fluff on the fire today? The little, you know, the fire starter stuff. The fluff? From the dryer machine? The lint? No, no, like, you know when you make a bush fire?

Yeah. Instead of bush fire, it's a fire ban even though we've had some rain. No, I'm just saying today. We're not dumping them today, but we're just getting the fire ready. Oh. Yeah, and then we're going to ignite the fire. Kindling. What's the fluff stuff? And then we're going to ignite the fire. What's the fluff stuff? Paper?

You know when you see them in films and they've got bush fluff? You're about to get broken up with for this dumb idea of how to start a fire. We've got Aaron listening to me trying to talk about starting a fire. He's like, what's the fluff? The fire fluff. I'm out. I'm done with you, Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Today's Silly Little Pole, do you know how much your colleagues earn? Like your co-workers? Yeah. It's always been a bit of a taboo thing, isn't it? Well, apparently New Zealand's a little bit behind in this. There's a members' bill currently before Parliament because employers at the moment can put pay secrecy clauses in workers' contracts.

Oh! So if you're in a workplace, you can't say to your workmate, oh, oh my God, I'm earning $20,000 more than you. You should just ask for more money. So it would be a contractual breach. Yes. But apparently New Zealand's quite behind in this. So is the bill saying to remove that?

Yes. Yeah, totally. Most countries, it's very transparent. I'm all about it. Definitely when I was working in the freelance realm, when you're doing gigs and stuff or working on TV shows, I would always talk to other people on the shows and be like, what are you getting?

And we'd make sure. And sometimes you'd find huge discrepancies and you'd be like, there's no reason for that. No, you're doing the same work. And they just count on the fact that you're not going to ask the people. Yeah, they count on the fact that it's impolite to ask. So I've always with, especially with freelance stuff

said like, this is what I'm getting, what are you getting? Didn't you find a spreadsheet once? Yeah. No, no, no. I found for a show I was working on in the Google Drive, the shared Google Drive, everyone's invoices. So one day, me and another

person just went through them all. And we were like, excuse me, this person was getting like double what I was getting. The exact same job. Oh, they were doing the exact same job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like so funny. Yeah, but did they have a penis? Yeah. Fair enough then.

To be fair, yeah, my menstrual cycle and my boobs did get in the way of that job. Constantly. It was wild though. And I love it. Fair enough then. To be fair, yeah, my menstrual cycle and my boobs did get in the way of that job. Yeah, constantly. Funny jokes. Yeah, constantly. It was wild though. I love it. So now, yeah, I'll always talk about it. Do you know how much your colleagues earn?

55% of people said no. 45% of people said yes. Okay, so pretty even. Pretty split. Robin said, seriously, I couldn't give a shit what they earn. If I'm happy, then that's all that matters. Now, Robin, I think she might be coming for Grumpy Lisa's title. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't care as long as she's happy, which is a shit what they earn. If I'm happy, then that's all that matters. Now, Robin, I think she might be coming for Grumpy Lisa's title. Yeah.

Yeah. She doesn't care as long as she's happy, which is a great attitude to have because if you're always comparing yourself to others, you'll always just find someone richer

to compare yourself to. Yeah, that's true. I'm the pay lady, so of course I know, said Carlina. Ooh, pay lady. Oh, yeah, the pay lady would know everything.

Hello, pay lady. Payroll. I'm a teacher, so it's public knowledge, said Brooke. Oh, yep. What is the deal? It's different levels, eh Brooke. Oh, yep. What is the deal? It's different levels, eh?

Different levels, yeah. Your level of education, is that it? Or the time you've been here? Time teaching and all kinds of things, yeah. Kate said only one of them because during COVID, the bank accidentally tried to pay all of our company's employees out of my bank account. What?

How did that happen? How did you have enough money for that? Yeah. I just don't know how that even possibly happens. Yeah. Yeah, so I know how much one guy earns. Right. So they got one guy's wages.

They got one guy's wages out before she ran out of money. Yeah, that's fair. Esther, darlings. Yes, only because I asked, which is so naughty, but I know it's so much fun knowing. Have you ever worked anywhere where there has been one of these secrecy clauses? No. Is it just government departments?

No. I don't know. Surely I've never heard of it before. Yeah. I've never seen it. Okay. Yes, public sector, so it's all public, says Tamsin. Every time someone sends me a stupid email,

I look at how much they paid and I roll my eyes because for the amount they're getting paid, they should know better. Wait, is there some kind of online thing where you can be like, how much is this person that works in the public sector? Maybe. Wow. And it's so much easier to find how much they earn now, given that David Seymour got rid of half

the government employees. I do the payroll, said Michelle. Just a little dig there from the left. I do the payroll, so Michelle. Just a little dig there from the left. I do the payroll so I know how much everybody makes. I even negotiated a higher salary last year because I can see how much everybody's on. Oh, yeah, good. Payroll does have you by the short and coolies. Yeah.

Not the exact number, but I know it's a lot more than me, says Hayley. Not this Hayley. Not me. Although. I didn't comment. Chris said, I don't really care. Is it my business?

Okay. Chris is brown nosing the man. Probably earning more than everybody. I don't care how much everybody is. Full well-nigh. Yeah. I think it's less about knowing other people's business and making sure that you are not being taken the pee out of.

I unfortunately saw my colleagues pay slip when they asked me a question about it. I'd been there for five years. they'd been there for eight months, and we were on the same wage. Oh, see. That was a little disheartening. Yeah. Little disheartening.

That is silly little poll. So there's a public Facebook page that a lot of people would know. It's Auckland Flatmates and Flats Want It. A lot of cities and towns around the country have their own page. Yeah, Wellington have their own. Yep. Admins told its members very recently that they will be dedicating more time to maintaining the group and addressing the growing issue of scams and therefore they're proposing a posting fee.

And people are upset about this. Yeah, because it's free, right? It's just free. You just go and you say like, here's a flat or hey, looking for a flat or something like that and they're going, well, we actually just sort of need to be spending more time on this so we have to take a little fee. Oh, because it's not

free. But then could you get more admins, helpful people out there that I mean, I don't know who's going to be spending all their time. I mean, I don't run any Facebook pages, really, but how hard is it? Sorry but how hard is it? Sorry, how hard is it? I imagine for that page it would be every post

on approval and just deal with it at the end of the day in one fell swoop. Yeah, I suppose so. Or just go through every few hours if you can. Because you know if you're a Facebook admin and like something happens on your page, like someone's defamed. Yeah, you're responsible. You're responsible. Or like if there's a name suppression breach. If you are the admin,

I know this from like subreddits, if you're the admin of a subreddit and someone gets named legal and gets all legal, yeah, you're the one that's fully responsible for it. Well, they say to address the growing issue of scams, administrators will dedicate more time to maintaining the group with introducing a fee

of $3 per post. Oh, okay. So it's not... I thought they were going to be charging like $20 or something. But still, kind of annoying. How do you pay $3? What, just a bank transfer? What a weird... And then it's more admin for them to chase up. Also, now it's become an income, so...

Are they getting taxed on the $3? Are they registered? Girlies, you've used this Auckland Flats and Flatmates wanted. Oh my gosh, are my old flat... I've used this Auckland Flats and Flatmates wanted? Oh, my gosh. In my old flat, I've used this page way too many times. Really? Yeah.

I hate it. Back in the day, we just had to ask friends, eh? Or trade me. You didn't know anybody looking for a flat. Trade me. I went on Trade Me. Yes. And to be fair, Trade Me charges you to post your things.

But that's why we go on Facebook. That's why we go to Facebook. Also, there's like so many people on there. And you get notifications. Like if people are actively looking, it's a really good place to do it. But I also it's another thing hot people get a one up on

because the hot people get all the flats because everyone's like, I want to live with a hot person. Look at the profile. And they all put their photos on there. Yeah, hot. This happened to me when we were living, I moved to Dunedin. Call yourself hot. No, no, no. Did you just call yourself hot? Undeniably. No, I was talking about someone else. Don't you worry.

We joined one of these groups in Dunedin and we needed a guy to join our flat and we found this guy and now I'm a maid of honour for the two flatmates' wedding. Oh!

So he made black juice because he was hot? We chose him because we thought he would be a good fit for the flat. Take with that what you would. I did not believe

that for a second. Oh my God, are you in management? Are you in management? Because that was so management the way you said that. The current tenants believe that he was the right fit for the flat at the time. Exactly. But yeah, no, they found love because of these pages. I don't know if we would have paid the $3 for it though, you know.

No, I know. So which one is it? Because there's one Auckland flats and flatmates wanted. There's 200,000 members on that page. Flatmates Wanted, 78,000. Flatmates Wanted Auckland, 115,000. This one is Auckland Flatmates. These are all monsters.

Auckland Flatmates and Flats Wanted, brackets AFW. Oh, yeah. And you normally just join all of them if you're looking and post on as many as you can. This group is temporarily paused for three days. The admin paused this group. Group activity will resume on March 22nd,

so hang in there. Right. Oh, they're doing a little bit of zhuzhing. Hang on, I'm looking. So there's people who have flats and people who are looking for flats. Yeah.

And the people who are looking for flats are putting their best foot forward. What, with photos? They're like, I'm fun. This is me. I'm a fun person. You might end up marrying me. Cute.

See, this is how tidy I kept my last room. Also, side note that I have a cat, but it's like totally a chill cat. Don'm cute, you might end up marrying me. Cute, see this is how tidy I kept my last room. Also, side note that I have a cat but it's like totally a chill cat, don't even worry about it. Yeah, totally, like you wouldn't even know. It poops inside but like not that often. Yeah. And I know my dog looks like a dangerous breed but he's actually like

not true to any faces for like months. Yeah, sweetie. Like I rescued him after he did maul a pack of children, but it doesn't... Yeah, well, look, I don't know what's going to happen with it, but people are like, you can't charge for Facebook. This is why we're here.

It's free. And then that'll just make the other pages go bigger, right? Yeah, totally. This is just giving me such like... Flashbacks. Yeah. Flashbacks of looking for a flat and looking at a room and being like, that'll be my room.

Yes. Like claiming a room before you've even got it and then you don't get it. And then you look for a room and they're like, that'll be my room. Yes. Like claiming a room before you've even got it and then you look a bit closer and you're like, oh, that's so cold. It's so mouldy. That's such a mouldy, coldy house. Or you go and check out the room and they don't message you back because they think you're a manga.

Yeah, yeah. Never happened to me, mate. Never happened to me. They wouldn't leave me alone. Never. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. You'll pick Friday Flashback today. Yeah, and I've been led there by the group,

and I'm happy, and I cannot wait for a great sing-along. Okay. That's today's, it is a big sing-along. Big sing-along. You're not going to be in your car like, doof, doof, doof, doof, but that's what Friday Jams are for. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? This is going to get you like, It's a sing-along. It's a classic. Nostalgic sing-al Four. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? This is going to get you like. It's a sing-along. Nostalgic sing-along. Yeah. Last night, I was doing my nightly routines, my evening routines. Moisturising.

No, no, no. Like walking around, making sure everything's all right on the farm let before I retire for the evening. It's my thing. And if it's dry, that's when I water my hydrangeas. I don't care what you got to say. I'm a 43-year-old now. God, you're 80.

Yeah. You're 80. It's been dry. I tell you what, when it rains, I'm like, thank goodness it's going, that's when I water my hydrangeas. I don't care what you've got to say. I'm a 43-year-old now. God, you're 80. Yeah. God, you're 80. It's been dry. I tell you what, when it rains, I'm like, thank goodness it's going to save me 25 minutes of water in the hydrangeas. Oh, my God. Shut up. Did you?

I pictured him almost in a sort of sleep nightie. Yeah. You know what I mean? Walking around in slippers. Ebony's a Scrooge vibe. Yes, yeah, yeah. With a sort of a. Sleep cap and a candle.

Yeah. Checking on everything. And I checked the letterbox and there was a package in there. Oh, yeah. From Timu. And it had my daughter's name on it. And I was like, she's a mother's daughter, isn't she? How did she get that?

Was she using your credit card? She used her, she gets a, she's got a charge card. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. She put some of her birthday money on there and she'd gone for a wee shot. Oh, I get to Timu. She'd gone for a wee shot. She'd gone for a wee shot. Imagine that.

Like when I got birthday money I spent it on lolols. Or I used to go to the warehouse. Yeah. Get a new trinket. It was always a new nerf for me. It was always like a new something I could shoot at my brother.

And now you're ordering from the Chinese conglomerate. Timu. Yeah. And she used the product. I sent you guys the photo last night in the group chat I noticed everybody

Except for Fletch Said what a beautiful daughter I was asleep I woke up To all the I always wake up To all the Because I go to bed

At quarter to eight I think last night It was like twenty to eight And it was delicious That sounds good I had so much delicious sleep And I wake up To all these group chats

I'm half asleep I'm like I'll talk to them About that later She looked beautiful I know. Broke my heart. Beautiful girl.

Ringlets. Just what an angel. An angel in heaven. I can't wait till you're batting away all the boyfriends. It's going to be so funny. Yeah, I know. I will be batting them away with a bat. Literally with a physical bat.

With a bat. And I said, oh, your team of packages arrived. She was very excited. And then she opened it up and she's like, I actually got you something because I needed to buy something to get it up to the free postage. I've done this before. The $30. Is it $30 or $35? You've got to get it up

to that and then you get free postage. This is why I've gone back to AliExpress. They're free postage anyway. Teemu, yeah, and Teemu is like, you've got to buy more shit. I'm like, no, you don't. Hey, you want to spin a wheel? Hey, buddy, want to spin a wheel? Not really.

I just want one thing that's $2. Yeah. That's all I need. So she got me a mat, a welcome mat that's got a Highland cow on it. Yeah. And it says welcome-ish depending on who you are and how long you stay. Oh, my God. She's nailed that.

She's utterly nailed the brief. Yeah. Nailed it. Now, it's made of a weird material. It feels like a real cheap shower mat. Flammable? Whoa. Looks flammable.

Not for outdoors. Not for outdoors. But that was what I was like, I'm going to test it. And I had dust on my feet and I wiped it off. All the dust was gone. Oh, it's a good mat. It's a weird material. It literally cleaned my feet of all these tiny dust particles.

Now I simply must try this mat. What is this Chinese factory magic? I don't know what this Chinese factory magic is. What are they sprinkling on this? I don't know what it's made of. Chemical. It's a foamy thing. It's a foamish.

Imagine if in like a week you're like, my feet really hurt. And then a week later I'm like, my feet are thin. The soles of my feet are really, really thin. And then I arrive at work and you're like, Vaughn, you've lost your feet. And I said, I think it's the mat. But it's like, what's changed in your life that your feet would have dropped clean off?

I don't know. I'm walking around on pig's trotters now. Also, wild that you're allowed a novelty mat at your house. Dude, I was going to say. It doesn't go with any of the aesthetic. Oh, no, absolutely. Nose got turned up at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But if it cleans the feet. It's a gift from my daughter and it cleans the feet. And it's a gift. A treasured gift. Yeah, it's a treasured gift. Yeah, but it's like those Because I told you I bought

some Highland Cow door stops, hey, to hold the door open. Oh my God, stop it. And that was like kid art on the fridge. Yeah, I know. I love kid art. Like we all kind of agree

like it's so bad. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like it's crap. Yeah. I know. Like, we all kind of agree, like, it's so bad. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's crap. Yeah. Kids' art. Like, what are we? Yeah.

Put it up for a day. It's a scribble, dude. Put it up for a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go to art school and then I'll put it on the fridge. Do you know what I mean? Even then. Even then.

Not really. What if it's not good? What if it's conceptual? Oh. Exoteric. Oh. Yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawnic. Oh. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. ACC have revealed the cost of medical treatment for foreign object insertions. Now, the previous year... Now, for example, for example, that would be someone that goes to scratch their ear with a matchstick and it goes all the way in and they're like, oh. How deep your ears? No, I've got a foreign object in me.

That's one example of a foreign object. I tip my head on the side and go. Or a bug or something small going in. It's been a lot of that lately. Buttons, buttons, things up the nose, things in the mouth. Or it might also be a jar of Vegemite up your bum hole.

It could also be that. Could be. For one, that never happened. Could be. No, you need a tapered end. Anyway. No, the tapered end

is where it gets a wow on you. Yeah, that's right. Always, and this is why I say, always tie a safety string. Tie a safety string on everything. Yeah. So $50,000 was the previous year.

In ACC claims. In ACC claims for an object insertion, $50,000 was paid out in terms of medical blah, blah, blah. That's not much in the money. Wait, so that's not what it costs at A&E to treat them. That's like ongoing care afterwards, right? Yeah, all of it. It's everything.

But, but, but, but, but, the latest stats, 50,000, that was the previous year, 125,000. But, but, but, but, but. But, but, but, but, but. But, but, but, but, we're putting so many more things

inside of us. Wait, is that 125,000 so far this year? No, that's for the, the year before was 2022 to 23. This is 23 to 24. Question. Boy, we're really scaling up.

If you hurt yourself, say you're running along down a hill and you fall and a stick went in your leg and went inside you, is that counted? Does it break off inside you? Yeah, because it's broken off inside of you

or is that something else? Or is this only when there's an open hole? She said for an object insertion. Right. I think it's that you've put something in there. You've put something in there. Okay, right. Yeah. So it's self-inflicted.

They're saying, and ACC's like, guys, this is a real waste of taxpayer money. Like, ACC's there for your slips, your falls, your accidents. Yep. You know? What's that, how does the ACC ad go? Have a him. You're about to put something in.

Have a him. All I think about is that woman falling down the stairs and go? Have a him. You're about to put something in. Have a him. All I think about is that woman falling down the stairs and going through a glass table. That was good ACC. Oh, my gosh. Those were great ACC ads. They don't make ACC ads like they used to. The guy falling off the ladder.

Yeah. And when he's painting his gutter because he's not taking the safety. That's what you should have is someone experimenting. So they are regaling the one of the most, they're calling it the infamous eel incident, if you remember from 2012. Was that 2012? Yeah.

Oh my God. New Zealand's most noted case of proctological peril involved the insertion of an innocent eel into the rear end of an Auckland man. I believe described at the time as an asparagus-sized eel. Yes. Which, yeah. Yes, the eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus.

I remember it. For some reason, it ruined asparagus for me that summer. Yeah, it did. I remember when that happened, because wasn't there a lot of outcry that, like, staff had leaked the X-rays? Yeah, because there was photos and yeah. I mean, obviously, if I worked at anywhere like that

and someone put a sprig of asparagus eel up their bottom, I would send that to the group chat. Straight to the group chat. And this also, 2012, wasn't when group chats were big. No, no, no, no, no, no. That was like infant Facebook, right?

Yeah, yeah. And no, not really. It would have been around for a few years. You would have been texting it. Snapchat, yeah. Snapchatting. Okay, this is what we want to know today. Are you part of the people?

I don't. What have you accidentally had stuck in you? Yeah, what did you get stuck in you? Has there been a reclassification over that massive jump from 55 to 125,000? I don't know. They haven't said that. It could just be bugs, right? Like, would a bug crawling in your ear?

Why so many bugs? I guess it's inserting its self interior. Curious Kiwis seek medical help to fish foreign objects from their rear ends. Okay, I don't think anyone's calling for this. Really? Are you kidding me?

My friend worked in the emergency department of Waikato Hospital helping people with ACC claims. So many old men putting things up their bum. No tape at end. Guys. No tape at end. Guys. No tape at end. Guys, no tape at end. No tape at end.

I mean, that's advanced level. Guys, the stats I gave you are only for objects removed from the rear end. The numbers I gave you are only for stuff removed from a nurses. Because that's when you said 55,000. I'm like, that's low for anything on ACC. That's probably 55 things. I think we should be open to other objects and other bits. Yeah, because I don't know if anyone's going to

just literally call up and say they've done that. $125,348 in the financial year just ended for claims relating to foreign object insertions and back passages. Radiographers, sonographers, they'd see a lot of it. We might get second-hand stories, but I don't think people are going to call up with

their own. Well, I just want to know. 0800 dials at M call us. You can text through 9696. Anonymously, if you must. What did you get stuck in you? $125,000 was spent on ACC claims for removing inserted objects from people's rear ends. Now, stop it.

You're costing the country money. I get it. You and all the e-scooter people not wearing helmets. Yeah, we're popping a lot of things where they don't belong. Hey, I'd rather people were of things where they don't belong. Hey, I'd rather people were sticking things up their bum than getting drunk

and causing chaos. Though, now, the drunks are the real problem. The people with the alcohol is the real ACC drain on the system. Happily polish off a bottle of whiskey.

Yeah, exactly. And then shove something up his bum. And my own home. What do you think I'm popping up there? Got to finish the bottle first. Okay, keep it clean.

Okay, yes, but we just want to know what got stuck in here. Doesn't have to be up the bum. Could be. I can't believe this is actually happening. Rhys, good morning. You got something stuck in the ear. Yeah, I got one of those little beanbag beads stuck in my ear. Oh, that'd be awful.

No. How did it get all the way down, though? It's so light. I was just a relatively dumb kid, so I mean, yeah. You thumbed it in, didn't you? Did you push it in? You pushed it in. Yeah, probably.

It wouldn't be past my capabilities. Okay, is it still in there now, or did they get it out? Nah, it took the doctor about an hour and a half to try and fish it out when I got it stuck in there, so... Do you think as a doctor, like, because I always think of the easiest and quickest solution, like a vacuum cleaner on full? Vacuum cleaner straight on the air, yeah.

Yeah. And they'll say it's really bad for the eardrum, but I used to do it as a kid all the time, and I'm fine. Except you're deaf in one ear. What did you say? So the message is in. My mum worked in the radiology department in the UK. All the staff would compete over the weirdest items they found in people's bums.

And do you think at Christmas they'd have a prize for the best one? Best? Totally. You ain't going to beat me this year, guys. A tin of potatoes was the winner. What? Wait. Potatoes come in tins?

Yeah, I'm more shocked about that. Apparently in the UK they do. Like a big bean-sized tin? Yeah. A mini one? With potatoes in it, that'd be so soggy. No tapered end. Time for today's Friday Flashback.

Hayley, it's your pick for Friday Flashback. That's right, we're flashing back all the way to 1998. A great year for music all round. This song is often played at pubs at the end of the night. And it's in the news. Well, this band is in the news because this song that you were going to play for Friday Flashback is being used by the Trump administration when they send people home. That's right.

Often illegal immigrants or people that have been picked up on these ICE raids and flown to a country and put into a prison. Yeah. And they've been using this video, this song on videos. Yeah. Which is really distasteful. Yeah, it is. Yeah. You know, it's Which is really distasteful. Yeah, it is. Yeah. You know, it's very, very distasteful.

And the band have come out and said, look, we don't approve. Stop. The band is semi-sonic and they are like, that is not what it's for. Do you know this rated at 50 in New Zealand? 50th in the charts. For the whole year. It was huge on the radio. Huge on the radio and movies.

And one of your favourite podcasts. Was this on your podcast? I think this was the final song of 60 songs that explain the 90s. Yeah, that's right. Well, today's Friday flashback from 1998 is Semisonic's Losing Time. Big sing-along. Shout out to anybody at the Outback in Hamilton in the early 2000s. The lights would come on. And that huckabit of Dave Dobbin loyal

and then this would be straight afterwards. It was time to go home. ZM. Closing time comes from some other beginnings. It's semi-sonic. Closing time. It's your Friday flashback on ZM. What are you laughing at?

PJ, the lights coming on and seeing the minger that you thought was hot and the dark that you thought was hot in the dark That you've been passionately grinding on for the last hour Yes, my man For me, memories of the lights coming on and seeing the face of the person you've been dancing with Macking with for the last hour and being like, who? Better to see it now than it is to see it in the morning, though Do you know what I mean?

Ex-bar star from the early 2000s, I Am Triggered, Shudder Yeah, I think every bar in the country played that song. Yeah. For years and years and years and years. It was a great closing time. It was the perfect song. Yeah. Yeah, it was.

And the guy- He didn't write it for the closing of bars, by the way. No. No. It had quite deep and meaningful- I think it did. But his wife had given birth and stuff. Like, the Semisonic themselves kind of fizzled out,

but he, Dan Wilson, the guy from Semisonic, went on to write hundreds of songs for some of the biggest artists. He wrote With Adele, Someone Like You, and produced her album 21. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's New Zealand Connection. He wrote that. Yeah, Bikrunga.

I'm gonna make it through another day. Yeah. So you go on his Wikipedia, there's like hundreds of songs. Yeah. Insane artists Sing along Some other feedback My kids are amazed

They know all the words Happy Friday Yeah Because your mum used to be out At the club Your mum was a beast At the club Your mum was up till

Four o'clock in the morning And she'd get a pie And a Gatorade on the way home Yeah From whatever was open Maybe she'd pop into the bakehouse On Victoria Street in Hamilton And get a couple of

Breezy chicken kebabs. You're just telling her kids what you did? Yeah. Yeah, sounds like it. Yeah, because her mum was probably there. Also, someone said so rude to play it at the start of a Friday when we still have a day of work to go. That's true.

Because that's the end of your night. Yeah, it is. Good fun. Good song. You did well. Thank you. I've just taken a leaf out of your book, Fletch, yesterday. If one gets to work today, Hayley and I are like,

what are you talking about? We've been doing this. Guys, guys. Guys, guys. I've got to tell you something amazing, guys. No, I didn't. I wasn't pretending I invented it. I said I've taken a leaf out of your book.

You've got to have something in the calendar. You've got to have something to look forward to. We always say. Doing a bit of admin yesterday and I was like, I'm going to download an app that's got the countdown thing that Fletch has because you've got to have something to look forward to. We always say. Doing a bit of admin yesterday, and I was like, I'm going to download an app that's got the countdown thing that Fletch has because you've got to have something in the calendar. Not the supermarket app. No, that's gone.

It's Woolworths now. That's Woolworths now. So, yeah, I was discussing some stuff with the lads. Because you've got a big lads trip coming up that you're looking forward to. I've got three things I'm looking forward to. Okay. Easter. Yeah. Easter. Yep.

Because we're taking the time off between Easter and Anzac. Yeah, that's a little... And you're a sucker if you're not. Yeah, you take those four days. Yeah. The country should just shut down. Yeah, I think it will. And that's school holidays that I'm looking forward to.

I'm doing some stuff with the girls, getting out and about. Then I've got a poople weekend at King's birthday. Gorgeous pronunciation. Yeah, with the lads. That's going to be fun. What are you doing there? Just hanging in a big house. Listen, we wouldn't invite us.

It's rude that we wouldn't sign our vines. That's not us. That's not your vice. There's going to be Dungeons and Dragons. Their partners don't know about it. There's going to be Dungeons and Dragons. Their partners don't know about it. Okay.

They probably do now. Thank God we dodged a bullet there. And then I've got Matariki weekend. I've got some lads coming up for, we've started a new tradition every year. We go to one of the Warriors games. We usually go to the Warriors versus the Bulldogs, but we're going to this year,

it's the Warriors versus the Panthers. So I've got three things in the calendar, but I've got six things in the calendar because I've got Easter break, 27 days, and then I've got Easter break workdays only. So how many workdays I've got to do oh no you're putting too much

in the countdown no I like this and I've color coded them and you've downloaded this app that's not the app Hayley and I use no you've already paid for yours

I've got a big widget yeah I did it's like $2 I'm not paying I've got a big countdown widget and it's like you know 27

you can put a photo yeah it's like 28 days until Easter I love it I've got a widget on the front screen and it's like, you know, 27 Yeah, it's like 28 days until Easter. I love it. I've got a widget on the front screen and it's got a little Easter bunny because you pick the emoji and it says Easter 19 days. I think it's the key to life is when you wake up some mornings, you're just like I cannot be bothered. You see your

countdown and you're like, I've only got 28 days till that weekend with the lads. I don't have anything on my countdown at the moment. I need to do it. I need to put some in. It is. Anything that you're looking forward to? Yeah.

Okay. Pick your emoji and put it in the countdown. You are such a show. I didn't say anything. I'm not. That's absolutely not. I just said,

what are you looking forward to? Anything you're looking forward to? I said that. She's got a comedy tour coming up. I've got a comedy tour so I'm going to Melbourne and I'm really, really, really, really excited to go to Melbourne.

Totally. And Brisbane and Sydney. It's a great city. I can see why. It's full of culture and chicken parmas. Oh, the parma. Are you going to get chicken parma? Oh, day one, darling.

I'm getting the parma. Right. Well, I'm glad that you're on board, Vaughn. I think everybody should do this. Yeah. It is. I reckon it's a little life hack. Yeah.

Even if it's just a weekend away or something to look forward to. Yeah, a concert. Yeah. A hangout. Good vibes. And there's like a million different acts that do it. A Filipino meatloaf?

Do you... I still haven't done that. I mean a meatloaf or Filipino recipe. I don't remember. I don't mean a Filipino person dressed up as meatloaf singing Bad Outta House.

Do the accent, Hayley. Filipino meatloaf has the full eggs in it. Full eggs in it and full sausages in it. And yeah. And David Kourias, famous comedian, told us he was going to make us one and he just hasn't. Still waiting for that.

Jesus, David. Still waiting. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Well, she's refusing to pick up the phone. Well, try it. My lovely mother, Patsy. It's odd because your mum, Hayley, your mum Patsy is really quite shy. My mum is a little bit shy. Where do you get it

from? My father. Right. Yeah, my mum's a good... My mum did win the Dargaville speech competition back in the day. And she was the Lower Hutt Real Estate Agent of the Year in 94. Something like that, yeah. And the legs on this woman.

Oh, well, she's a testament to Les Mills' pump classes. Oh, she certainly is. Used to train with the Hurricanes in Wellington, my mother. She was a pump girl from way back. Best pins from Dargaville, tell you what. Now, I have to say. If that wasn't your mother, I was going to say the filthiest joke. But then I realised we were on the radio.

Carry on. Can we not say it? Can you mute it and say it? Because I'm kind of keen to hear it. Okay, hang on. I'll tell you guys. BRB, everybody. I'll tell you guys.

Oh, that's inappropriate. That was inappropriate, wasn't it? That was really bad. I'm so glad that wasn't said on the radio. That's my mother. I'm sorry, Patsy. That's her mother. I'm sorry. Don't you dare tell your mother, Patsy, what I said. I'm so glad that wasn't said on the radio. Patsy, this is my mother. I'm sorry, Patsy. That's her mother. I'm sorry.

Don't you dare tell your mother, Patsy, what I said. I'm missing it. He said that's what the hurricanes called her, the pump girl. Hayley, you just said it. You said it out loud as you were typing it. What? No, I didn't. I'm just messaging it to my mum.

No, but you said it out loud as you were typing it. Everybody heard your microphone. Mum said you lot are full of shite. Now, this is true though, Patsy. I have government proof that my mother has set me up here. Now, I currently was, my parents came up and stayed a couple of weeks ago, stayed for five days, and they borrowed my old Mazda. I had a different car on the go.

And I got some mail, Mrs. Hayley Jane Sproul, address, redacted. And I looked at this and it's a speeding ticket, right? And I was like, okay, speeding ticket. Friday, 7th of March at 10.06 a.m. I was like, God, I would have left work quite early

To get all the way out to this highway God, we would have absolutely hoofed it out Mum said, you're just jealous of your legs Now I am, great legs Great legs Great pins She should have put the full body on the real estate posters

Yeah Show those legs off I got my Or just the legs Just Yeah Patsy Sproul Call Yeah. Patsy Sproul. Call me Patsy Sproul. LJ Hooker and it's just legs. Yeah. Yeah.

The L for LJ. And then a slight twist on one J. LJ. All this great marketing so late. I know. I know. The days are gone. So. Thank you Mr. Hooker. Remember that on there? LJ Hooker you're the best. That was the jingle. You're the one. Do you know my brother she used. Remember that on there? LJ Hooker, you're the best.

That was the jingle. You're the one. Do you know my brother, she used to make my- No, it's LJ Hooker, you're the one. LJ Hooker, you're the one. Right? I don't know. Who cares?

Mandela effect, we need to know. I don't know. My mum used to make my, oops, she says, yeah, Patsy, oops. Anyway, oops is that she sped on a highway that has one of the most obvious speed cameras and it's right by my house. And so I see it all the time and I would never do it. That's why when I was reading this,

I was like, what the hell? I did not go 13 kilometres over the speed limit on a highway I drive at least every single week. And I said, March 7th. And luckily I keep a very tight calendar. I looked it up. What time was this? 10am in the morning. Was she trying to get to the 10.30 pump?

She's probably trying to get to pump pump 500. I look at the calendar and it's mum and dad staying So she's the one that's done that. She owes me $80 Yeah but how much were all of those private piano lessons you know? All the trips to marching

That was for her more than it was for me. Yeah. The piano lessons. The phone bill well into your 20s. The health insurance that you literally came off when you got the job here. 30s. Yeah.

The full tanks of gas they still put in. Yeah, she did fill it up. The petty cash you'd steal from your dad's business. Yeah, hundreds, thousands. Okay, so pretty just call it even. No, it's not even. In fact, I think I'm still in debt and I'll just cover this, Patsy. Don't you worry about it. ZM's Fletch, Vaugh just call it even. No, it's not even. In fact, I think I'm still in debt, and I'll just cover this, Patsy.

Don't you worry about it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. It's a blitz for Secret Sound. Your next chance is coming up at nine. There's a chance every single hour until midnight tonight. All thanks to Super Liquor. Right now, though, time for...

Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. It's scent week, aroma week, smell week here at Fact of the Day. Tomorrow you're going to smell, no, Monday you're going to smell like juke. You've decided you're going back to juke. I'm going to buy some juke today.

I'm going to smell like juke. Well, it's only $42.99. You heard me. I did. We heard you. And where is that at? Chemist's Warehouse. Chemist's Warehouse.

Thank you. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. KPIs. Bonus, bonus, bonus. Well, someone that could do with some juke. Maybe. Old people. Are you aware that old people have a smell?

Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. Like dying. It's the smell of dying, isn't it? No, it smells like powder dust. And moth balls. Sorry, balls. Yeah, the balls in the closet.

It doesn't smell like old person's balls. There's a ball. It might be the balls might smell like that. Hayley has a thing about the word M-O-T-H. Yeah, the M-O-T-H balls. So a study into that old person's smell said that it's due to the result of increased 2, as in the number, nonial, which is a chemical compound. It's an unsaturated aldehyde. And when you get older, you start producing more of it.

So it's an actual thing. I thought it was just like... Can we Botox it away or something? I don't know if we can Botox it away. Is that not Botoxable? Because honestly, everything's Botoxable. Everything. Do you know Old Person Smell has its very own name in Japan,

Kariesho. Kariesho. Because obviously there's a lot of respect for the elders in Japan, but it is also like the shame if you're an old smelly person. So there's a whole range of specific odor eliminating soaps and stuff targeted at elderly people. So the odor characteristics of 2-nonial, it smells to some people like fat and cucumber,

but also with a... Yuck. A fatty cucumber. Yeah. Which of course is the antithesis of a cucumber because it is nothing but green water. Yeah. It's green stuff water.

And orris, which I've never heard of before, but orris is like... Grow up. Orris is... It can be the base of perfumes. Oh, yeah. Okay.

The orris root. And it's also used as a botanical in some gins. It can be used as it. So that's what it kind of smells like. So you could say a fatty old gin cucumber. I love cucumber in my gin. That's a great thing that goes with gin. The only thing you're missing is fat.

Old people just smell like gin and tonic. Is that what you're saying? They can smell a bit like gin with a refreshing cucumber in it. Yeah. Mmm. Yeah. So I learned this in it. Yeah. Mmm. Yeah. So I learnt this week it's a real thing. It's not just like a perception.

It's not a perception and it's not to do with them. I just thought it was all the old stuff they had in their house or their home. And they don't shower as much as they get older because it's harder. It's harder to do it perhaps. And so there is a more present smell. But it's caused by this unsaturated aldehyde called tunonial that smells like a mix of orris, fat, and cucumber. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, reveling in this energy that you brought. That was insane. You're insane. You're a bad boy. Love you both so much. We've got a bad boy on our hands. We've got a bad boy. We've got a couple of bad boys, a couple of bad girls. Anyway, okay, we want to know,

what did you regret about your wedding? Because this is a thing that's happening on TikTok at the moment. People are looking back at their weddings, you know, 10 years in the future going, oh, God. A bit of millennial regret at some of the choices.

We're talking, you know, your big purple bows with the stretchy things and maybe like the fashion or the bridesmaids' dresses, looking back and going, oh, God, what were we thinking? Is there anything when you look back at your, because yours was very traditional. There wouldn't have been anything I would have thought. We're all, there was no wacky colours. It was pretty much black and white.

Some people were invited. I certainly would not even speak to now, so I wouldn't invite them. Yeah, do you know that's... When you look back at your... That's the big one for me. That's the big one. You don't need that many people there.

You simply don't. You might feel pressured to or obligated to. You just don't. Do you know a lot of people's... One of the biggest regrets that people are sharing is the amount of money they spent on it. They borrowed money for the day. They got themselves into debt straight away.

You're starting off a marriage with like 40, 50K debt together. Yeah, insane. But other people, it's just like, my hair or my makeup. What was I thinking? But at the time, it's what's in fashion, right? And this is what I sort of love. And so that's the idea, right? It's millennials looking back at the weddings in the 2010s.

Yeah. Which wasn't even that long ago, guys. No. And they're like, I kind of regret that. And Gen Z being like, oh, that's so millennial. Well, you wait till you get married and your vows are like, I skibbity-riz toilet you to be my forever. Totally.

Phantom tax thing. And you'll be like. And you're in a baggy hoodie. Yeah. Yeah. Looking all sullen and shit. And your baggy jeans. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. And all sullen and shit. In your baggy jeans. Yeah. Totally. And I sort of love it, like, looking back at, like, your parents' weddings in the 70s, 80s, 90s, all that kind of stuff. You're like, it's funny. Like, it was all the time. Oh, my parents' wedding. I remember looking at it even as a kid in the 90s

and being like, this is wild. But, like, looking back on it now, like, that was smack on for the time they got married. 77. Dad's in this big bloody velvety thing with a white ass collar. Mum's got like the full situation. Yeah. It's awesome.

My mum wore a suit to her wedding, like a little suit. What, like a real estate power suit? Yeah, like with a skirt and a blazer and a little hat. She just goes straight from the open home to the chapel. No, it was wide, but she pins out. Yeah, the legs. She's got the legs. She's got a lot of airtime about her pins out. Yeah, the legs. She's got the legs. She's got a lot of airtime

about her legs today. Yeah, I know. The hurricanes, I bet they flew up. Whereabouts did they get married? See if she can still bloody deadlift as much as they can. Anyway. I reckon she could still go

to a hurricanes training and turn some heads. Oh, absolutely. I reckon she could even ruffle the feathers of some of those Christians. Old Patsy's pins. You know those ones that score a try and they look up. They point to God. Oh, yeah. Love you, absolutely. I reckon she'd even ruffle the feathers of some of those Christians. Oh, Patsy's pins. You know those ones that score a try and they look up.

They point to God. Oh, yeah. Love you, God. Love you, God. And then Patsy's there and they're like, God, I'm being tempted. I'm being tempted. Save me, Jesus. For the lands.

For the lands. Are they going from hell to heaven itself? Okay. We want to ask this morning, is there anything that you regret looking back at your wedding? Yeah. Is there something cringe? Is there a bit of millennial cringe? I mean, a lot of you will be like, the person.

Yeah. The person at the other end of the aisle. The person aside, because, you know, I mean, half of the men, don't they? Here is an example that we just got text. I regret who I had as a bridesmaid. Of course. Oh, yeah. I slip away.

Had my now sister-in-law, and now she's a biatch, and she doesn't even talk to us. Yeah, I think whoever is at your wedding, there's going to be some drop-off, guest-wise. Yeah, totally. Because that's just what happens.

A lot of people say, my one regret is my husband. Okay, aside from the husband, 0800DARLS.M, give us a call. You can text us at 9696. What do you regret about your wedding day? Play ZM's

Fletchborn and Hayley. It's a secret sound blitz today every single hour until midnight. A chance for you to call through. They're activated just minutes away.

But right now we want to know what you regret about your wedding day. Maybe it was a stylistic choice, a makeup, a person that was invited. A bit of a trend on TikTok at the moment

with some millennial cringe looking back. Anne, what do you regret about your wedding? I regret not getting more pavlovas. Was that your wedding cake? That was my wedding cake. I'm an American and I married a Kiwi. We got married back home in the States

and we thought three would be enough but the Americans devoured our pavlova. Oh, wow. So they liked it. They liked a little bit of it. They loved it. Did you make them over there or did you take some like bougie supermarket ones?

No, no. We spent some time to find, I found an English woman who was married to an Australian living in America. Wow. Who knew about pavlovas. That was the closest we got. I love it. So you needed more of them. How many do you reckon would have been enough? Five?

Five or six. I reckon the fives are a bit... Yeah, because Americans are used to a thick, dense cake, and the pav, of course, melts the minute it hits the mouth. Yeah, they'd need a lot. I reckon the fives are a bit booze, so I could do a whole pav, to be honest. A lot of eggs.

It's only egg white, though, so no cholesterol. Although you couldn't do that now in America, because they're actually stopping more eggs coming over the border than fentanyl. That's right. Because the egg prices are going nuts over there. Anne, I assume you're listening and now living in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Yes, indeed. Wise choice.

Wise choice. Wise choice. And many PAVs at the supermarket. Many PAVs. Thank you, Anne. Wise choice. Wise choice. Wise choice. And many pads at the supermarket. Many pads. Thank you, man. Some messages in. My aisle song wasn't loud enough. Oh.

But, of course, when you're the bride and you're walking down the aisle, you can't. That's why you do a test, though. You crank it. Yeah. But if it's inside, the minute you put people in a small area, it completely changes the sound. It absorbs. You've got to crank it. Cheaping out on the photographer is what I regret.

Yep. Not getting my pre-wedding pamper session. I regret inviting one of my partner's friends and her kids. Oh, you don't. No kids at a wedding. No kids at a wedding. I hired some games and her son went around hitting the guests with the pickup sticks and broke a few. Definitely.

You can say no kids at a wedding. Yeah. You can. Absolutely. And then people are like, oh, but we're coming. Well, you're not. Yeah. We're coming all this way. Nah, you can say no kids at a wedding. Yeah, you can. You can just say no kids at a wedding. And then people are like, oh, but we're coming. Well, you're not. Yeah. We're coming all this way. Well, you're not.

Well, like, kind of like lock them in a boot or a room for an hour or so. I regret not getting more wasted at my wedding. But a lot of people would regret getting too wasted. Too wasted.

Yeah. That wasn't a problem for you at yours, was it? I was tagged. I walked up to the guy and was like, how much is left on the bar table? He's like, he's my dude. I was like, two bottles of whiskey.

And he gave me two bottles of wee-wee, sat on top of the rooftop, blah, blah, blah. I'm Von'd on Ony Tungy Beach. He did have a Von'd on Ony Tungy Beach. On the wedding day as well. After the bus ride, it was very windy, Hayley. It's a windy island. So both of you, the groom and the best man,

were too intoxicated at the end. I was really boozed. Still sealed the deal. That were too intoxicated at the end. I was pretty boozed. Still sealed the deal. Oh, yuck. That was gross. Don't say that. I've upset myself, actually. I bet you it was terrible porn.

Oh, I do. One of your worst. George is newly married. Anything you regret? I mean, it's too soon to tell, maybe. It's two weeks. Like, do you think you'll look back at any styles? Nah, I loved

everything about that. You looked gorgeous. Awful. Oh my God, keep the coming. Oh my God, I'm here for it. You actually looked

phenomenal. Like, ridiculous. Ten out of ten. Why, what? Because Caitlin, who used to work here, was your... Celebrant.

Celebrant. Yeah. And she sent me a picture and she said, you don't know how to share this, but... Oh yeah, she asked me. She's like,

can I send this to Forna? Yeah, and she sent me a photo and I was just like, my God. That's our Georgia. She won't regret that. That's our Georgia. It was timeless too.

It wasn't one of those ones that you're like, that's great now. Yeah. But people are looking back, a bit of millennial cringe, looking back at the wedding and thinking,

oh no, wearing chucks wasn't a good idea. I would say without a shadow of a doubt, the most popular reply we've had would be the person that they married. Yeah, 100%. That aside, maybe it is like footwear or some kind of clothing,

but also like maybe posing for photos with different things. Like I've got one that's... That in the time were... Yeah, I'd say not enough photos of people. Yeah. That's one that you're like, but you're just sitting there

and you're like a black haze. You're like, I've got nothing. I don't even remember who I got a photo with. Yeah, it's all gone. Someone said my biggest regret was having it in a courthouse. Such a somber, sad wedding. Luckily, that was just

a trial marriage anyway made up for my second wedding. I wish I'd walked slower down the aisle and that I didn't let my brother's drama get to me. Oh, no. And go to bed at 9pm.

What? My bestie was moving away three days later and I never got to spend time with her. Also, I regret not getting a videographer and I also regret not wearing sunscreen. Oh, yeah. What? My bestie was moving away three days later and I never got to spend time with her. Also, I regret not getting a videographer and I also regret not wearing sunscreen. Oh, yeah.

What was the brothers? Can we have a quick... We're going to need to know what happened with the brothers. There's always some family member that... We've got to be quick, guys. It's nine o'clock on the dot. What was the brother drama? Taylor, be quick.

Be quick. Quick smart. I wish I loped instead of having a full wedding. It would have been my fifth wedding anniversary today. COVID put a stop to that. Best thing that ever happened five years later. The groom is no more and I'm dating girls. Happiest I've ever been.

Yes, let's hear it for the girls. We chose a well-known Anglican priest. He was a really nice guy because we weren't religious. We asked not to include anything about God in the ceremony. He told us they wouldn't. He'll slip it in. He'll slip it in. They will slip it in.

And then on the day, he went off on a complete religious tangent. Yeah, he's like, we asked not to include anything about God in the ceremony. He told us he wouldn't. He'll slip it in. He'll slip it in. They always slip it in. And then on the day, he went off on a complete religious tangent. Yeah, he's like, Charlie, Charlie. They slip it in. They just find an opportunity and slip it in. The Anglican slipping it in better than the Catholic priest slipping it in.

Oh yeah, we don't want that slipped in. Careful. And I'm allowed to say that because I'm Catholic, so actually you can't complain Catholics listening. That's right. Because I am a Catholic. And I never got... You're not a Catholic

you're so far from Catholic and my mum said we had to go to church and I said to mum I want to do that because I thought the older boys got to carry the cool

golden staff up and swing the smoke thing and mum's like we don't want you doing that and at the time I didn't know why and now I do because I was

a great atheist okay anyway next on the show another shot at secret sound if you like today's podcast tell your friends Okay, anyway, next on the show, another shot at Secret Sound. If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great.

And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.