ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 21st November 2023

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

- Mr Beast- Top 6- Workwear post covid- new segment- Fact of the dayyyyyySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleshpawn. And Jesus, they're dropping like flies around here. We're down a producer. Yeah, Jared's just back from COVID.

Jared is sick. Hayley, if she doesn't have COVID, I don't know what she's got. It sounds COVID-y. Yeah. And, of course, Jared and I and Hayley were all at Paramore and Fridays. But you're invincible. I've said this before. Don't say that.

You're made of the special stuff. I'm away tomorrow purely leisurely. Purely leisurely. Purely leisurely. And I could be working alone tomorrow if Hayley doesn't pull through. I might just feign a sickness as well. Yeah, I'd take a sprain or a... Or just have a leave day.

Is there room on the Disney cruise? Absolutely. Oh, my God. I'll join the Smiths. Yeah. On the little fold-out bed. On the bunk. Fold out from the wall.

We've got a state room. We're not mucking around. All right, okay. We're more of a rose than a jack. We can get a roll-out beard for me. Of course we can. We can find you a nice old lady to shack up. An old widower.

What do they call those? Black widows. I would be the guy that's... I think the black widow is the younger woman that attaches herself. You would be the black widow. I would be the black widow. I would be the black widow. Widower.

Widower. No, so I find... No, because you're the widow. I find an old bird that's nearly dead. Attach yourself. Attach myself. Yeah. We form this incredible relationship.

She dies really sadly. Post writing you into the world. Yes. The family come for you too late. You're gone. You're a... And I get everything. Yeah.

You're a sniff in the woods. What does that say about being something to the wind? You're a... And I get everything. Yeah. You're a sniff in the woods. What is that saying about being a something to the wind? You're a... Yeah. I don't know. I'm sure. There's a good saying about something to the wind. God, I'd probably know in my life.

I'd get one of those old birds that lasts until she's 110. She'd be on the news. They're like, what's the secret to your life? She'd be like, my young lover. And then you have to kiss her on the news in front of everybody. Yuck. Well, no Hayley today. The top six on the way, Australia, get this,

are entering the space race. They're going to have a rover. And it's going to go on the moon. It's going to be a bloody lunar rover. Are they giving this to NASA to put on the moon? They don't have their launching capabilities, do they? They're just going to chuck it. Right, okay.

Chuck it as far as they can. I've got the top six Aussie space rover names. It's coming up on the show. It has to be, of course, named. Next on the show, though, Mr. Beast at it again. This bloody lunatic has pulled off his craziest stunt yet. No way in hell I would do this. Absolutely not.

And I don't think he'd do it again. Not even for 10 minutes. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Mr. Beast. How old is Mr. Beast? 25. He was born in 1999. No.

Yep. He looks 30. It's the goatee. It's the goatee, yeah. It's the goatee. If you're in your 20s and you whack on a goatee. Or you automatically look like a Mid 40s office manager Magician

Or a magician A bit of hypnotism on the side So Mr Beast once buried himself For 50 hours Two years ago he buried himself for 50 hours Buried alive People liked it so much it's one of his popular videos He had a custom made coffin

Buried And he was buried for 7 days People liked it so much. It's one of his popular videos. He had a custom-made coffin buried, and he was buried for seven days. And this is the one that is out now. Right, this is the one he's just finished. Yeah. On seven days. No, no, no. Yeah.

So he was under there by himself in a coffin. It wasn't like he was buried in a caravan or anything. Yep. Well, that's cheating if you're buried in a caravan. That's a bunker, isn't it? You're living in a tiny home or anything. Yep. Well, that's cheating if you're buried in a caravan. That's a bunker, isn't it? You're living in a tiny home. Tiny little bunker underground. It's like a tiny home surrounded by dirt.

Yes. So he had pee bottles. They ran out, so he had to start peeing in his food bags, but he wasn't eating a ton, so he didn't need to go poos as much. Did he poos at all? He must have pooed at least once in seven days, even if you're not eating a lot. Yeah. You't need to go poos as much. Did he poos at all? The whole, he must have pooed at least once in seven days, even if you're not eating a lot. You gotta go poo.

Unless you take those tablets that block you up, you know when you get barley belly. I don't think you wouldn't be putting severe constipation pains on top of already being buried alive. Yeah, true. Apparently it goes pear-shaped. He's crying, he's not talking back to his friends,

but, you know, there's cameras down there so he can't be monitored, so they know he's still alive, but he's obviously just not in a great way. That would be the longest seven days ever. Yeah. So the video of it's out. It's already very, very popular.

It's a no. It's a no for me. Not even for 10 minutes. I wouldn't want that. Yeah, nah. No. I'm not claustrophobic, but, like, ugh. It's a no It's a no for me Not even for 10 minutes I wouldn't want that Yeah nah No I'm not claustrophobic But like

He also Recently built 100 wells in Africa Oh So he balances it well He balances But then that It says

The headline Mr Beast Builds 100 wells in Africa Attracting praise And some criticism That was like When he Helped people

Have cataract removing operations that couldn't otherwise afford it. And people were like, they found something to bitch about there too. So he seems like an all right dude. And he's only 25. That's insane. I thought he was 35. It's the goatee.

It's the goatee. It's the goatee. I'd like to see him lose the goatee. Yes. I think he'd be. Or grow a full beard. I don't know. I think he'd be. Or grow a full beard. I don't know. I don't know if he can grow a full beard.

Yeah, no. Maybe the cheek. Might be too early for a full beard. Maybe early for it. Hell of a guy. Very rich. Next on the show. I mean, we shouldn't be taking his wealth into account, but he is very wealthy.

Very, very wealthy. That's how he affords to do all the things. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a dental hygienist from Melbourne has gone viral with the four things she knows just by looking at your mouth. Hygienist. Yes. Oh, what's he plucking about? They're always getting in there.

They're always, yeah. They're always getting in there. You haven't had the sandblasting, the airflow. I don't think I've had the airflow. Oh, my God. It's life-changing if you ever get a dental hyg the airflow. I don't think I've had the airflow. It's life changing if you ever get a dental hygienist. I do. Because they used to

always scrape, scrape, scrape. And now they do sandblast. Does a sandblast hurt? They put a gel on and then it shows where the plaque is and then it's this light. It's not a sandblast but it's like it feels like a gritty kind of a... It might be. Like a form of a particle blast. It's amazing. Like a form of a parka blast.

It's amazing. And then they might scrape a little bit, but it doesn't hurt as much as like your typical dental hygienist. So that is one of the things she can tell. She said she can tell if you're left or right-handed because she puts on this gel that brings up the plaque. And if you are right-handed,

like most people are... I think your left side of your mouth would be better brushed. Yes, that's exactly what she says. If you're left-handed, your right hand side of your mouth is better brushed. Yeah. And there'll be more plaque because you don't either do as long... Yeah. It's the back hand.

That makes sense. What else can she tell? She can tell what side you favour eating. I didn't know I had a favoured eating side. But I think it would be my right side. Mine's my right, yeah. Because that tooth that I ignored for like 10 years, that's on my left side.

Yes. That's fine, by the way. I was thinking about that just this morning as I brushed my teeth before I came to work. I was like, that dentist I went and saw did a cracking job of putting on another temporary top. Because there's more plaque, apparently, and calcius. Cal-

culus? Calculus. Calculus. That's maths. There's a maths app on the chewing side. I don't know if she's right there. She said she can also tell... She's hygienist, by all means. Can also tell whether or not you might have a sleep apnea disorder. These usually telltale signs that, yeah, people have that.

Sleep apnea is potentially serious sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts. If you snore loudly or feel tired even after a full night's sleep, you might have a form of sleep apnea. So how does that show up in the mouth? Apparently if you've got a large tongue, it blocks your earwax. You've got a big old tongue! So you've got a big old tongue. Yeah.

How big should a tongue be? I don't know. You've got a little tongue. I think yours is a short... Yeah, see, his is a little tongue. Is that a little tongue? Have I got a little tongue? It's a little tongue. Have I got a little tongue? A little bit chody, yeah. Oh! It's not chody because I think it's slim and short. It's meant to be the little bit chody, yeah. Oh, it's not chody

because I think it's slim and short. No, it's meant to be the size of your mouth, though. Whereas mine's evolved to eat ice creams. Show Vaughan. Oh, that's huge. Oh, my God. Wow. It's not pointy.

It's not like the guy had a kiss with the pointy tongue. Mine's a very flat spade. Yeah, right. It's like the spade you use to get mulch. Is mine a petite tongue? Yeah, yours is pointier. His is like convex. Oh no,

don't get into that. Okay, you know. This whole chat, I feel thrown off already. I sit here to chode and then that felt weird. It's quite a fat tongue. It's a fat tongue.

It's a fat tongue. It's a fat tongue. I've never really looked at your tongue before. I've never even thought, I've never thought about at your tongue before. I've never even thought. I've never thought about the size of tongues. Like, you'll be like, oh, that person's got a long tongue. Yeah, yeah.

If they poke it right out. My old flatmate, Ben, his was tongue-tied. He could barely get his tongue past his lips. Oh, because it's... And he had it cut when he was, like, a baby because he was tongue-tied. Because I think they know because you can't latch on. You can't feed properly as a baby. So there's a tongue-tied.

But even then, it was a very little tongue. That's not going to help later in life, is it? Nah. For eating ice cream. For eating ice cream. Terrible. So I can get right around the cone. I hit the cone.

Yeah. Big wide legs. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello. The Australian Space Agency has an Aussie-made rover which will be sent to the moon on a future NASA mission. I didn't even know they had an Australian space agency.

But look at them going. They've built this, and yeah, NASA's going to get it to the moon as part of the ARTEMS program, which was America being like, we've got to get back to this moon. Yep. Wouldn't NASA already have rovers, though? Yeah, they've got Trump. You're going to trust some Aussie-made thing? Chuck it.

Otherwise, it's probably just a remote control car with a webcam on the top and a cell phone so you can track it. Yeah. You know, they reckon it's pretty good. Okay. Yeah. There's two Australian consortiums working on early-stage rover concepts, but they reckon by 2026 it'll be on the moon,

but they want a name for it so everybody can get behind it. So I've got the top six Australian space rover names. Number six on the list, Egon. Because I'm buggered off I know where Egon. Yeah, okay, that works. Yeah. Up there, he's up there. Can't see him.

My Egon. Number five on the list of the top six Aussie space rover names, Slinky. Good for nothing, but fun to push down the stairs. Oh, yeah. They were great. That'll go down the stairs. It's got to go down the stairs. Well, yeah. They were great. That'll go down the stairs. It's got to go down the stairs. Well, this rover, it's got to have six individual wheels.

Number four on the list of the top six Aussie space rover names, Gaza, because Gazahan getting this bastard on a rocket. And also, Gaza's just a great Australian name for anybody. Number three on the list of the top six Aussie space rover names, Shania, because that don't impress me much. You can imagine an Australian. She's Canadian, though. Yeah, I know, but there's no Australians who sing a song about that

that don't impress me much. True. Because I imagine Australians would be like, oh, what is Steve doing? Oh, after school, Steve went into engineering, and now he's building an Aussie space rover for Australia that's going to the moon. Oh, who cares? What about Barnsey?

I did a sex skit about E.J. Holden. What about Barnsey? Barnsey would be a good name. What's a Barnsey song? Working Class Man. Yeah. Working Class Rocket Rover. Yeah.

Getting up there. Number two on the list of the top six Aussie space rover names, Shagger, because it's not doing much up there, but we're all getting absolutely rooted with the cost of it. So I'm imagining it's not going to be cheap, and the taxpayer's going to be chipping in. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six Aussie space rover

named G-Spot, because everybody's pretty sure they know where it's going, but bugger if they know, if they could point it out. Yeah. Hard to find. Hard to find. So that is the top six today. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey.

Play ZM. Chicken Run. Chicken Run. Chicken Run. Maybe the same people that made Wallace and Cromit. You've got to watch how these movies and TV shows are made. Oh, it's excruciatingly painful. I thought you were going to say it's exquisitely arts and crafts.

Okay, that too, but literally it's stop motion, right? The whole movie. So you take a frame, you move it a little bit. Yeah. Then move it a little bit. Wasn't that a sketch show as well?

Wasn't that on a British sketch show? Do you remember that? They just moved it a little bit. They move it a little bit. Move it a little bit. Move it a little bit. Oh, I've seen the making of It's a nightmare

It takes like days and days and days Yeah Because one second Of a movie Or a TV show Is 24 frames Or 23 frames A second

In stop motion Yeah I think they Take it down a little bit Right Yeah Any less and it becomes too obvious And it's not smooth moving So that's

it's painful. Yeah. So the sequel to Chicken Run which came out 23 years ago which is surprising to me has it's coming out on Netflix. Yeah. I don't know if Mel Gibson's in this one. He's had

some problems. No he's back. He's in all kinds of stuff. He's back baby. He then. No, he's back. He's in all kinds of stuff. He's back, baby! He's filming stuff. He's back. He's back. For some reason, he is uncancellable. Untouchable. Yeah.

Okay, so let me see. Fandy Newton, Zachary Levi, Bala Ramsey. These are... I don't see... Oh, these are the people in the... No, he's not in it. He's not in it. He's not in it. He's not in the sequel. Chicken Run, Dawn of the Nugget.

That's brilliant. That's good stuff. That's good. Comes out on Netflix December 15. So it comes out this year. Right. However, it was delayed a little bit, and they said anything from here on out,

including the next Wallace and Gromit movie. I didn't even know that was happening. I will watch it. Will be delayed because they've run out of clay. What, is there a shortage? It's, they don't make it anymore. And they, when this, the place that,

it's in the ground. It's a very specific plasticine type clay that they're used to working with. If they change and go to a different thing, it's going to take them a whole lot of time. Right. So when the factory that was making it was shutting down, they

were like, we'll take it all. Right. And they've had a warehouse full of it. But once they make these clay figures, you know, it's like when you put your Play-Dohs together, you can pull the colours apart, but a little bit of blue is going to get stuck with the yellow and then you've got a green. Yeah, right. And you can do that until you're out of blue and yellow

and then you're stuck with all this weird green. Right. But that's what they're saying. There will be a delay because they don't... Right. But the Chicken Run sequel is all done? It took longer than they thought. Right.

And they put it down to the fact that... Clay shortages. The clay shortage. Right. And they were running out. Oh, that'll be great to get a sequel to that movie. Yeah. It was kind of like...

It wasn't a huge, huge movie when it came out. But it had that cult status of one of those, like the Bee movie, the movie with Jerry Seinfeld playing the bee who has some sort of weird romantic relationship with a human and they don't really get into it all, but it's definitely a bit more than just a friendship. It was one that wasn't huge at the time. Yeah. But has been massive and just like a big player since. Bubbles along. Yeah. Yeah.

So Chicken Run, the sequel comes out, but then anything else regarding... Any Play-Doh films... That's running the clay. ...henceforth... Yeah. ...delayed. Silly little poll next on the show. Do you like drinking games at parties?

No. No. Studies found... I do not show. Do you like drinking games at parties? No. Studies found the top five drinking games. Beer pong's in there. Not number one, though. We'll run through that list and then go through the Silly Little Pole results. So maybe next time you're having a party and you think of bringing up a drinking game, maybe don't. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Today's Silly Little Pole. Do you like drinking games at parties? Because the top five drinking games have been researched. Yeah. The session's really busy. Yeah, must have some time on their hands. King Cup at five, God, I hate that game. Which is King Cup?

Where you each put a bit of your drink in. Wait, so you pull a card and the card means something, right? Yeah, and then at the end of the game, the loser has to drink the cup full of everyone's booze. You only pour in when you get a king, right? I haven't played it for a long time, but I refuse to play it. Like, I hate it so much.

And pour some of your drink into the king's cup in the centre of the table. Whoever draws the final king must drink the entire king's cup. So flip cup four, fourth most popular, beer pong three. Number two, the most popular drinking game, straight face, where you have a sentence and you've got to say it with a straight face. So you draw it out. And if you don't, you have to drink.

Okay. So you write the most ridiculous things. Okay. So it can get a bit dark. Oh, okay. And you have to drink. Okay. So you write the most ridiculous things. Okay. So it can get a bit dark. Oh, okay. And humorous and funny. Okay. And the number one drinking game, Never Have I Ever.

Oh, yeah. You just lie on that one. Yeah, you've really got to just read the room and see who's there, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And don't be the person that goes from, like, Never Have I Ever kissed someone in the room to something insane that's going to destroy friendships. Don't be that person that steps it up that quick.

But we asked, do you even like drinking games? And 57% of people said yes. 43% of people said no. Okay, so quite split. When you're ready to drink, that's what I don't like about the drinking games. Yeah, but it also kind of gets the party going, doesn't it? Yeah.

Good way of kind of opening with Josh, as we often do. Yes. A little pole. Regular respondee, Josh says, I have trouble not drinking too much at parties as it is. Drinking games make that impossible. Yeah. Sam, no.

At a certain age, you drink what you prefer, and I'm not pouring a decent beer into a cup to get manky from a stupid ping pong ball. That's why you have water, right? Yeah, clean the ball, clean the ball. Just take the seat and talk about how it's possible Hayley's Arnold Schwarzenegger impression is just so bad for someone with an acting degree.

That sounds like a good grown-up party conversation. Yeah, it does. How does a woman that seemingly can do anything not be able to do an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression? John says, yes, because we will forever be teenagers in our own minds. Yeah. No,

says Gemma, let me drink my drink in peace. Don't force it down me. Courtney says, drink in the, drink the drinking came. What? Is she drunk? She might have had a few too many. Yeah, she might have.

Or Piccolo, always good to get the vibes going. Right, okay. Drink the, drink the drinking game. Maybe she meant, she mispronounced game. Or Piccolo,

I've never heard of Piccolo. How else am I meant to regret my actions the next morning, said Shay, and I've got a convenient thing to blame. In this case, the drinking game. Yes. Tessa, only if they come about organically and aren't overly complicated.

Please note enforced fun. And if there's more than four rules, you've lost me back to casual chat. That's a good call. Yeah. You don't want overly complicated games. That's why the top five list was quite simple. Yes. All simple games. Emily says

sorry but who would vote no to playing Rage Cage? Rage. I don't know what Rage Cage is. Shannon does. Surprise, surprise. It's like Stacky Cup. It's another name for it. So basically bounce the ball in

and then you can stack it onto the other people. But yeah, I think Americans call it Rage Cage. They do. I'm looking now. Yeah. What, you just described it as Rage Cage. Yeah, one of my faves. It's so crazy how we have different names for things, eh?

Yeah. But they're the same thing. Like jandals. Yeah. Although I am 27, Emily goes on to say, and all of my friends rip me for wanting to play beer pong and say it's for 18-year-olds and I need to grow up.

Wow. I don't mind some beer pong. It's like... say it's for 18-year-olds and I need to grow up. Wow. I don't mind some beer pong. It's like playing pool. There's that sweet spot where you're not too drunk. And then you go a bit too far. Yeah, and darts. It's like about three beers darts. You just seem to be able to pop that thing where it needs to be.

That is Silly Little Pops. A man has learnt Korean to surprise his wife at their wedding. He did his vows in Korean. Address her family in Korean. Oh, wow. Okay. And apart from very casual Korean beforehand, because his wife-to-be was Korean, did not know Korean. He'd been taking lessons in secret.

How long did he start? Like, he said the way he got around it is he spent 30 minutes each day learning the language while he said he was pretending to be on video calls for work. I mean, here it goes after the wedding, though, when they're having an argument and he's like, I've got a work call. She's like, yeah, what are you really doing?

Because do you remember that time you learned Korean by lying? Yeah, he's basically admitting that he managed to pull the wall over her eyes for 30 minutes every day. A day. A day. And so, okay, it's kind of smelted the internet's heart, hasn't it? Oh, yeah, they're loving it. Because everyone's like, that's pretty sweet.

They're loving it. Yeah, he speaks fluent too. Really nice. Really good. I mean, I don't speak Korean, so I can't tell. But, you know, if you're speaking another language, you go slow, you go loud, and you can definitely hear your accent sitting underneath the accent you're trying to do. Yes.

But not this guy, not Ben. He learned Korean and did a bloody stand-up job. Imagine if you learned a language behind your partner's back and then you heard them, like, bad-mouthing you to, like, their family. Oh, you're saying because she speaks Korean and he now speaks Korean and understands it. She wouldn't know that he's secretly learning the language. Yeah.

And he's picking up on, imagine that. I always love those stories of when people are in another country or around. You don't know that the people around them speak their language. Yes, can understand. It's the best thing ever. Yeah. But we want to talk about this morning if you've ever learned something in secret. It doesn't have to be as intense as...

Do you think as well people would learn things in secret because they're like, well, I don't want to tell my friends, they'll just take the piss. Yeah, or I don't want to tell anybody because I'm the sort of person that said I'm going to do things before and I never ended up doing them, so I'm going to do this in secret just in case it doesn't get pulled off and I don't look like I've flaked on something else. Exactly.

Yeah. So whether it's like a skill, a hobby, a language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hobbies are interesting. And why did you learn it in secret? Was it you didn't want to like say you were doing it and then fail? You were scared of failing so you didn't want people to know that you tried and failed? That would be the biggest one, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because things are hard. I found trying means that the thing is hard. Yes. Yeah. If it's easy, not much trying required. Give us a call. Let's take some calls now. Have you done this? Have you learned something in secret? 0800

Darls at Amazon number. You can text in as well, 9696. What did you learn in secret? A man called Ben online. The video's going crazy. He learned Korean for his wedding. It's melting hearts. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful. He speaks to his bride. He speaks to his bride's parents who immediately, like, get to their feet and come and give him a hug. Way to win, Emma. And he did it all in secret.

Yeah. We want to know this morning what you've learned in secret. Mm-hmm. And why. Stephanie, you learned to drive in secret. Yes, I did. Why?

So I grew up with only my dad, like, as a parent. And he was always too busy to teach me how to drive. So he kind of just was a bit lenient with my car that I owned when I was 16. And all of a sudden, he keeps seeing me go around town with, like, carloads of people because I lived in a small town. And he goes, hand me your keys.

You're not allowed to drive because you don't have your license, and you don't know how to drive. And then I whipped out my restricted license. I had gone and done the test the day before. And he was like, well, I can't take your car off you now that you know how to drive. And to this day, he's a pretty good driver. He felt bad afterwards.

He's like, this is one of the things I probably should have done. Yeah, well, he took me on one driving, like, listen, and that was it. And he was like, oh, you ended up on the wrong side of the road. Okay, I can see why he did that. Yeah, he thought I was not going to be a great driver, but he will happily get in the passenger seat nowadays. Oh, nice.

And you did it all in secret. We're not on the wrong side of the road. Anytime you're driving on the right side of the road, that's a step in the right direction. Yeah, it is. It's a plus. Stephanie, thank you. Georgia, you teach couples to do something in secret. Yeah, so I teach wedding couples their first dance or sometimes

like father-daughter dances and heaps of them don't want any of their guests to know. Really? Yeah, the first dance is, if you are going to do a dance, it's like a reveal as well. So if you've been practising, that's pretty cool, trying to bust it out.

I can see why they keep it secret. Yeah. So do dad-daughter dances for weddings as well? Yeah, I've taught some dad-daughter dances, and then I had one couple, so I taught the dad and daughter in secret, but then the dad and the mum came for a lesson, so I had to pretend not to know the dad

and meet him again for the first time. Wow. I love that. Excellent. What sort of dance does the dad-daughter dance? It's breakdancing normally, isn't it? I think it's breakdancing. Grab my feet, spin my back.

Sorry, I arch my back. Spin my feet, arch my back. That's the correct order for that. What kind of dance do they do? Just basic stuff like box steps or anything. Nothing too hard. Okay. And do dads cry when they're practicing or just on the day?

I haven't had one cry yet. Okay. Just on the day then. Just on the day. Georgia, thank you. Some messages in. When I first started dating my partner, I couldn't even scramble eggs. I started doing online classes for cooking and surprised him with a full roast for our anniversary.

That would be such a surprise. I learned all about golf and secrets so I could surprise my partner who was always asking me to watch golf with him. I was pretty shocked when I watched it with him and had what he described as a pretty detailed commentary. Oh, wow. Okay. Not so much of a secret, but for a while, every time time I pooped I would YouTube How to do toilet paper Origami art And do it

So my girlfriend Got a nice surprise When she went to use The toilet paper So you learn origami And My mother-in-law Secretly taught me

How to make my husband's Favourite meal Because I couldn't cook To save my life Okay She's just giving you The keys to the kingdom Yeah

That's what mother-in-laws Are supposed to hold on to So their little boy Always comes home right Yeah Did half an aviation Diploma in secret keys to the kingdom. Yeah. That's what mother-in-laws are supposed to hold on to so their little boy always comes home, right? Yeah. I did half an aviation diploma in secret for a majority of family and friends. Now I wish I'd kept it fully secret because I'm tired of hearing, got a flying job yet? No, I don't, Susan.

Yeah. No, I don't, Susan. COVID killed the industry and I got left with a six-figure student loan. Yeah. Get off my back, Susan. I don't know what kind of flying. Yeah, because it's all back now, isn't it? Get in there, but I mean there was a lot of people.

I don't want to be like Susan. I don't want to be like Susan either, but what else can you fly? Can you fly little ones? Yeah, fly a little one maybe. Medium ones? Yeah. Helicopters? Oh, I don't know.

I wouldn't fly those. That's scary. I'll go in't know. I wouldn't fly those. That's scary. I'll go with one, but I'm not flying one. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. To the producer's booth to hear of the, what might be the last dating trend for 2023. Who knows?

We'll get into the, unless someone's going to pull out a Christmas themed one. Yeah, I'll make something up. Christmas cracking. Yeah, you're bonbon. Yeah. You're bonboning. You're bonboning someone. You start, I'll make something up. Christmas cracking. Yeah, your bonbon. Yeah. Your bonbon.

You're bonboning someone. You start, it's between two people. Maybe you've got two bonbons going because you know, you always go a Christmas cracker on each side.

Yeah. It's an agreement between two people. There's a hard pull at the start, a loud, you know, noise, but then you're always

let down with what's inside. But you get a crown. Or you break them open and find out inside they've got another girlfriend. Oh, inside. But you get a crown. Or you break them open and find out inside they've got another girlfriend. Oh, wow. But they did tell you a funny joke about an igloo. That's Christmas bonboning.

That's a good one. Watch out for that this Christmas, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so easy to come up with dating terms. You've found one. Run it by us. It's another toxic one, so don't come here looking for, like, healthy relationship advice.

More toxic than bonboning? I think we're on par. Okay. So it's called pennying, and basically it's the gist of when you start dating someone, you give them 100%. You know, you're giving all the effort, all the love. Then, you know, you play it cool a bit. You drop back to 90% effort.

Then, when they start to, like, you know, things are not feeling great, give them an extra 5%. We're back to 95%. They feel like they've just gained 5% of your interest instead of losing 5%. It's a mental game. Are you with me? Why is it called pennying?

Well, so it started off with an analogy of a piggy bank. And so you start off by investing lots of money. So you'd start off with $100 notes. But then pretty quick, you'll just... No, I've never popped a hundy in a piggy bank. Only ever coins. But yeah, basically, after you start investing a lot... I'll put it in pause.

Bon-boning was the stronger dating term. And we literally pulled it out of our bottoms on the spot. Yeah, I mean, you're right. And it had a Christmas theme. Everyone's looking forward to Christmas. So the idea of pennying is... Starting off giving a lot and then tricking them. Yeah, right, into thinking you're putting in the effort,

but you're not. Yeah, you're just giving them pennies. You're putting in a penny effort, a cent, as opposed to $100. Exactly. Right, that is toxic. Yeah, very. It's really bad.

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't recommend it for a healthy relationship, but if you're just looking for some fun. What, string them along? Who's having fun? Only one person's having fun. Oh, maybe they'll enjoy it. The other person.

Like, you know, low commitment. There's another dating term. The name needs shortening, but it's sunscreening your mate's back. Right. Okay. Yeah. It's like crucial And you're doing them a big favour

But you're touching them reluctantly Or you stitch them up a little bit By like leaving one patch of a heart shape Or something Yes or a DNB I always think man I'd love to stitch up my mate With skin cancer That's very toxic

You might have to do a couple of toxic girlies A couple of toxic girlies with skin cancer. That's very toxic. I always, you only took a couple of toxic girlies. Yeah. A couple of toxic girlies. One thinks it's funny and strings them along and the other one's like,

yeah, I'll give them a, I'll give them a thick burn on their back. She's a wheeze. We're 33 days away from Christmas. Wow. The last 20 seem to have gone nowhere.

It seems like we were on 55 just yesterday. So quick. It is approaching. I haven't seen any. Have I seen any? I don't think I've seen any. The advertising didn't stick with me of when we have to have our packages in the post. Oh, yeah.

I think I got some emails from NZ Post because I'm signed up to the My... What's that thing called? The My Parcel thingy? The one where you get something sent to a pay-a-box in America and then they send it on. You post? Yeah, I've got an account, and I think I saw some dates. Right.

And, yeah, it was pretty early if you're sending overseas. But a study's been done when it comes to Christmas cards. And apparently, people love a good old-fashioned Christmas card over a Christmas social media message or a text. Yeah, because it shows that you... Or an e-card.

Yeah, because it shows that you cared enough. Yeah. I mean, a lot more thought goes into it. Mind you, you can't do a jibber jabber in a Christmas card. Well, you can't blah, blah, blah. No, no, no. The jibber jabber where you put your head on an elf and then you Okay, those

are pretty great. And then you send it to people and then they open up the e-card and it goes, Merry Christmas! La, la, la, la, la, la. And it's your head on an elf and you're dancing around a Christmas tree, and you're up to shenanigans. Not a fan of e-cards, but I do like those.

I do like those. But yeah, overwhelmingly, like 60% of people, all about the Christmas card. I don't think it has to come in the post, whether you drop it off hand-delivered or it's in a Christmas present, whatever. Yeah. As long as it's an actual card.

But to me, it's always like, to Vaughn, from Fletch. And you know, I never write anything. Thoughtful, thoughtful. I'll suffer a tease over here, taking some time to really put some thoughts on paper. No, because it's got a pre-done message in there. Yeah, but that always just says,

wishing you a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holidays. That's from me. Yeah, okay. Do you write stuff in there? You've got to chuck a little something extra in there. A little something something. there. A little summit, summit. No. Merry Christmas.

I just find it weird when I do handwriting now. I'm like, this is weird. Yeah. My hand gets real sore. Your hand gets sore. You're just like, I'm running out of room. I start out kind of legible, and by the end, it's just like, scroll. The scroll of a manic man.

Yeah. So I just put my, I just keep it simple. Use the pre-printed message. Yeah. The scroll of a manic man. Yeah. So I just put my, I just kept it simple. Used a pre-printed message. Yeah. That's enough for me. But yet people loving it. Because I remember growing up, mum would put, your mum and dad would put a string and then all the Christmas cards would go on the string. Now how did they attach

the string to the wall? Um, thumb tacks. Yeah. Yep. But the thumb tack was, because ours was always in this doorway between where we ate dinner in the lounge, dining room in the lounge, and the string would be there, but they'd put the pins on top

so you couldn't see the pinholes. Oh, that's smart. Yeah, I got excited and I put the pins up and I put them in the thing and the pins are still there. The pinholes are still there. Right. And they'll get pointed out every now and then.

Yeah, right. But you're hanging up the Christmas cards. Well, yeah, because everybody's sending each other Christmas cards. Whereas now you just say, oh. Yeah. Did you, you, no, don't even worry. Your family would never have been a Christmas newsletter family. No.

We did get them from the odd family. It was a narcissistic bullshit. It was, yeah. No one cares enough. I'm not sitting down in the festive season to read all about your high accomplishments for the year, half of which I know are exaggerated or completely made up. Also, nobody's putting in the family newsletter, you know, little Timmy's drug addiction.

Yeah, little Timmy's lost his licence because he was caught speeding. His demerit points have hit over 100. We'll be running him around for a little while. It was the 80s, 90s version of only putting your best life forward on Instagram. Yes. Really, wasn't it? Yeah, it was.

But it was easy to avoid. And you weren't getting one from the Kardashians. Yeah. You know, like... Yeah, fair. Yeah, like I said, their Instagram is basically a Christmas newsletter. So they're like a card. Yep.

Let's draw the line at a newsletter. No one cares about your family apart from you. Write that if you want to remember the year and then just pop that in your purse. And 33 days until Christmas. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Going on a Disney cruise today. Me, my wife and my two children. My problem with this is

Hayley and I still have to work and Hayley's sick. So what happens tomorrow if you're not here and Hayley's still sick? Oh my God. I take a day. Did you hear that?

I just take a day off over here. I think I'm getting sick. You are the worst at setting up a sick day. You're supposed to have started this. Everyone else does it this way. When Hayley messaged you and I saying, I do not feel well at all. I'm out of COVID tests, but I think I've got it. Yeah.

She's been thinking she's got COVID for like the last two months, but it does seem like she's worse. It's pain fumes, to be honest. You should have said, I am also not feeling great. I'll see how I'm doing tomorrow. Yeah. You've got to build this up a little bit. Oh, right.

I've left it too late. You've got to build this up a little bit. And now you're telling everybody you're going to do a build-up. Did you hear that? That's a huge mistake of doing a fake sick build-up, is that you've told everybody you're starting the build-up. These coughs are getting just more and more. They are getting so much. Yeah.

Well, whatever. I don't care. I'm not going to be here. That's a problem. I'm not doing it by myself. I just won't come. I'll just stay at home. I am not doing this by myself. I'm not doing this by myself. Right. Absolutely not. And then Georgia Bird put her hand up to help out.

She's a bit of fun. Georgia and I can do it. Yeah, that'll be fun. So we're going on. I didn't mean it like that. Is she still here? Oh. I thought she'd gone to get coffees. Is that why you've exposed the midriff today, Georgia,

to try to lure Fletcher into asking you to do the show with him tomorrow? No, don't. Oh, Georgia, don't put on a different T-shirt. She works hard. That was a compliment. You're not allowed. She works hard. That was a compliment. You're not allowed. Okay. I'm not allowed a compliment.

No, another stuff. No, no. Now she looks like she's a brethren. Oh, yes. That's good. Thank you for hiding the midriff. Because the young men around here were awfully distracted. So we're going on this

cruise and every morning I get a Snapchat from my daughter and it's just a picture of the roof because apparently we've got to keep our snap streak going. Send me a photo of your face. You know, you've got one. I contribute a little bit genetically to it so I want to see the face. And then I said oh, have you thought about the fact you're going to lose

your streaks when we go on this cruise? Oh my God. And she said, no. No. No. N-A-U-R. But is it not? There'll be internet.

There's internet. But don't tell who. I'm not paying a fortune to have internet, you know? Oh. It's not like that crucial. Right, okay. And she said, well, then when I get back, I'll be paying Snapchat to reinstate all my Snapchat streaks, because apparently you can do this.

Yeah, right. I'm all my Snapchat streaks, because apparently you can do this. Yeah, right. I'm not losing my streaks. So this is her biggest concern now. Paying to reinstall your streak is cheating. Yeah, I know. You know deep down you weren't there. 100%. It's like when you've got a good amount of

closed rings on your Apple Watch or smart watch or whatever, and then you have a really bad day, so you just go into the settings and tone it right down. Actually, I did that the other day. I was drinking cocktails with my friends, and I hadn't closed my ring, so I just put on a little Pilates. So you tell your watcher to do Pilates.

So it more actively tracks your calories and your exercise. And then it just closed like the last hundred, and I was having an espresso martini. And you're like, yes. And my arm was going kind of up and down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your exercise. And then it just closed like the last hundred and I was having an espresso, martinis. And you're like, yes. And my arm was going kind of up and down. A Pilates of sorts. A Pilates of arm stretching. Yeah.

Yeah. Didn't the guy that invented Pilates enjoy a drink and a smoke? He would have liked that. Was it him that invented it? I don't know. I think it was Arthur Pilates. No, that's not his name. Joseph Pilates.

Arthur Pilates. His Joseph's brother. It was a German. It was a German Pilates. No, that's not his name. Joseph Pilates. Arthur Pilates. His Joseph's brother. It was a German. It was a German. Pilates. So, yeah. I'm not going to be here tomorrow. I don't know if you and Georgia Burt's midriff are going to be here.

I'm not sure. You're taking your kids on this Disney cruise out of school. That's illegal. Yeah. I'll see you in court. I don't want to report you to wins. See you in court. What are you here for?

Oh, being a great dad. Sir, what are you here for? I, being a great dad. What are you here for? I'm trying to spend some moments with my daughters. Like, you know, they're going to be too old to hang out with their dad soon. And then I'll cry in court. Yeah, yeah. Gavel, gavel, gavel. Could you ever imagine our parents taking us out of school for a holiday?

I didn't even get to get out of school when I was sick. You never. You're insane. You will go. When did you last vomit? Five minutes ago. Sounds like you I was sick. You never. You will go. When did you last vomit? Five minutes ago. Sounds like you're on the heels to me. Get to school.

He's all better. There has been a study done that finds just over half of Americans, I don't know, we can go around the room here and see if it's the same for us, but for more than half of Americans, Different Tastes and Movie is a dating deal breaker. Nah. It's not like, yes, I had this argument at the weekend about Notting Hill. That's because I've never seen it,

and I've got no interest in watching it. You're honest. I don't want to watch it. It was on TV, and I was like, well, we're not going to watch it with ads. And so then we're like, Shadows, find another streaming service for me. We'll watch it. I was like, I don't want to watch Notting Hill.

Yeah. No problem. We're very lucky to have two televisions. Must be nice. Must be nice. Must be nice for you. And we've got devices we can watch movies on. We don't need to watch the same thing.

Yeah, but isn't it, she must want the connection and the loving touch of you whilst watching this romantic comedy. She'll be like, get off me. Stop touching my boobs. And I'll be like, I thought this was the Netflix and chill situation. She's like, no, it's not.

And she said, the kids are just on the other couch. And I'll be like, shh, don't tell them. And no, but that wouldn't be the case, I don't believe. Right. I just know. We don't need to watch the same.

I've got no interest. If it's something we both want to watch, cool. But what about, okay, so say you're single and you meet someone and they don't like the same taste in movies. Is that a deal breaker? I don't see why. Not for you. I don't see why it would be a deal breaker.

Girlies in the producer's booth, deal breaker? Definitely, definitely. I want to go to a movie with you and like the same thing. So you'll punish a boyfriend with a lame movie? Absolutely. You want to date me? You date my bad taste. But what if he's too like...

Well, pretend. Try harder. No, no, no, no. I mean like if he's too into your trash. You wouldn't want that either. You're going to watch all ten episodes of Band of Brothers when I re-watch it again? Yeah, dude.

Are you going to sit down and watch how the E-Force stormed mainland Europe in 1942? This isn't a two-way street. This is... Okay, right. So we have to watch your movies and Below Deck. Yeah, every episode of Below Deck. My partner has seen every season of Below Deck purely because of me.

Is he on his phone during it? I sometimes ask not to, but then I'll allow it after an episode. Like if I'm on a binge fest, but then if it's just one episode, I'm like, this is our time together. You need to spend time with me while we enjoy this. You wouldn't sit down for a World War II anything? Movie, TV show? No, it's not a two-way street, sorry.

Wow. I see how this works. Okay. It seems what is good for the goose is not good for the gander after all. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. He swallows. We are now going to do a new segment called Best Case Scenario, Worst Case Scenario.

We haven't made a thing. We haven't made an intro. We only decided this morning. And if this doesn't work. Jared's not well. Jared's away. Yeah, this is just bare bones radio. Worst case scenario. It'll be bare bones radio tomorrow when you're not here and Hayley's not here. And Jared's not Bones Radio. Worst case scenario. It'll be Bare Bones Radio tomorrow when you're not here

and Hayley's not here. And Jared's not here. Yes. Everyone's going down. So Bare Bones Radio is best case scenario, worst case scenario. We take a problem. We're going to start with an in-house problem. Yeah.

Here on out, we might take your problems. Now, the idea is the problem would need to be one that you don't really know what's happening or a solution to the problem. Let's go to the producers booth where Shannon will tell us what she discovered yesterday. And then we will as a nation bring her the best case and the worst case scenario

and some solutions. There's a big old black patch of some goo under my car park and it is killing the grass. That grass needs to be whippersnipp. And it is killing the grass. That grass needs to be whippersnippet or mowed, by the way. That's not my problem. I'm a tenant.

Okay, so your landlord takes care of that? I'd be on them. So you sent a photo to the group yesterday of a large patch of oil. Now, you were just saying your oil light came on a few weeks ago. Yeah, so I've recently got a service. I think that's the word. Yes. Yeah.

I got a new sticker in my car. He put a thing there being like, you're good. You've got a service. I think that's the word. Yes. Yeah. I got a new sticker in my car. Like, he put a thing there being like, you're good. You got a warrant of fitness. No, no, no. No, it's a sticker. A service sticker. Oh, I just said oil. What was the service for?

Yeah, because I had the genie lamp oil on. Okay, so it's an oil service. The emoji came on. The emoji came on. The emoji came on. Anyway, my neighbor told me he could smell batteries in my car. He says when I leave for work, he can smell my car's battery. That's not a thing.

It is in a diesel, apparently. Oh, right, okay. What kind of car do you have? A VW Golf TDI. Now, you own this before you started working here, because if you had started working here, there is absolutely no way I would have sat by and let a woman in her 20s with no mechanical experience buy a Volkswagen.

Well, that's that old, yeah. We just wouldn't have let it happen. Yeah, no. You'd be in a nice Vista or something or a Toyota or something. I mean, I'd be stoked to get rid of it, but I don't think this is a great ad for the car currently. No, it's really not. But yeah, so my neighbour said he could smell batteries and I was like, mm, it doesn't feel right.

And you've got a big oil patch. Well, yeah, so I was like, I'll take a look at the car because I know you can, like, look into it with the bonnet. So I was like... Wait a minute, wait a minute. What? You are awake. I thought you were like, I know where to look

and check the oil level, but you... Your prowess in the field of mechanical knowledge is knowing you can open the front. Yeah, there's like a switch. What were you expecting to see when you opened it? Please tell me what insights you garnered from opening your bonnet. It was terrifying.

There were so many things. I just shut it again. Dude, there are lots of things. I love that you were like, oh, no, too confusing for me. Shut the bonnet. But then, so yesterday I was like, hmm, my alarm bells were ringing. So then as I was pulling back into my house, I was like, uh-oh,

big black patch under the car and I know oil is black. Yep. It doesn't start black. Oh. So it's almost like golden, goldenly opaque. No, it wasn't like that. It was dark. That could be a bad sign.

The grass is dead underneath the car. Golden, golden, leopake. No, it wasn't like that. It was dark. That could be a bad sign. The grass is dead underneath the car. Is this oil from before the service? I'm not sure. Or is it after? I'm not the most observant person, so I'm not sure when the patch began. What about when you pull out from your car park today? Have a look on the floor, see if there's anything there. Well, I noticed some at the car park I park at every day at Sky Tower,

but I just thought it's a public car park. Yeah, you don't get the same part every day there, right? No, not always. And also a service isn't going to fix leaking though, is it? Yeah, but I feel like my guy would have said there was something wrong. He would have seen it. He was a good guy. And like I told Vaughn, I got his advice when I got the service,

being like, is this guy looking out for me? Yeah, right. Okay. So now knowing what we know about this, what year is the Volkswagen again? I think 2007. I was like six when it was made. Great year for Volkswagen. He says it in complete jest.

Okay, so this is what we know about it. It's a 2007 Volkswagen. There's a big oil patch. There's an oil patch, and the neighbour says, I can smell your battery. Has he just been creepy? Yeah, this is my neighbour who said it was his birthday when I was tanning in my bikini.

You were sunbathing in a bikini, and he came out, and he said he didn't know it was my birthday. He's like, it's my early birthday. And now he's like, I can smell your battery. Yeah, so I don't know if I trust his judgement, but he said he's worked on diesel cars before, and it smells like that. Okay, so that's a thing.

So now we need the listeners to help. What is the best case scenario? I guess also in this situation it would be the cheapest scenario. What's the best case scenario? What is the absolute worst case scenario? Yeah. Have you been in this situation before?

Yeah. Did you just keep driving and your car caught on fire? I mean, that's a bad case scenario. That's one of the worst case scenarios. There's another light on the dashboard. I don't know if that helps, but what does that look like? There's a man and the sun's coming at him. There's a man and the sun's coming at him.

This could be a brand new feature in itself. You described lights on your desk. What kind of man? Is it a face of a man or the whole body? He's sitting in the seat and there's a big orange orb coming out. Oh, that's your airbag. That's your airbag.

Oh, my God. This man's just chilling in his seat, getting a little tan on the face. That's really bad. That's a bad one. That's a bad one. That's a bad one. Are you sure? That's not the UV index.

It's not on because it's good. It's not on saying airbags are all good. What did you think the light meant? It's a sunny day? I don't know. Like, what? Oh, my God. I worry so much for you.

Airbag. Oh, yeah. Carwin's just pulled it up. It's definitely that. Light. Okay, right. Doesn't that look like a sun? It says that it's been activated.

Front airbag activation. It's a malfunction. Okay, right. Doesn't that look like a sun? It says that it's been activated. Front airbag activation. It's a malfunction. It might be a malfunction. Either it's going to go off in your face, or it's not going to go off in your face. It's going to have to go off in your face. Either way, that's bad. Well, best case scenario,

what is the best case scenario you have for producer Shannon? What is the worst case? What is the easy fix? Are you a mechanic or have you had this happen to your car? Do you know what's wrong? Let's see if we can help out Shannon for our new feature, our new segment on the show

called Best Case, Worst Case. Give us a call. 9696 to text in. We are doing a new segment called Best Case Scenario Worst Case Scenario where a problem is presented to us, we present it to you, and you tell us maybe you've dealt with the same problem. Yeah.

How you dealt with it. Was it a terrible, terrible situation? How did it go awful, awful? Or, you know, it wasn't that big a deal. To recap, Producer Shannon has a giant oil slick, a patch where you park your car at home. The neighbour who says he can smell your batteries. Yes.

And it's a diesel. Which a couple of people have messaged him saying, I'm a mechanic, I've never smelt a battery. I can smell your batteries. Yeah, he said it in front of someone else as well. So I feel like he really meant it. But I googled, can you smell a battery? And there were stories about how the diesel batteries

can get a sort of sulfuric aroma. Does it smell like eggs? I don't notice it, but I don't notice much. Okay. Fantastic. Good stuff. Okay, so now we need the best case, the worst case scenario.

It's an older European car, which these things happen, don't they, to older cars? European ones are always expensive to fix. Well, not if you just ignore it. Okay, let's go to Monique. Monique, your team best case scenario. Yeah, and I was just thinking you guys mentioned diesel. Mine's a petrol, so hopefully it's the same applies. Okay, so what's the best case scenario here for Shannon?

I don't know about the battery smell thing, but I've had an oil leak for probably four years now. And my cousin, who's a mechanic, said it's fine. He said he can fix it, but they tend to come, like it tends to happen again anyway. Right. So you can just ride your luck. Yeah.

Yeah. You just have to keep checking your oil like every couple of months or something, make sure it hasn't got your luck. Yeah. Yeah, you just have to keep checking your oil, like, every couple of months or something, make sure it hasn't got too low. Yeah, okay. But as long as it's fine, it doesn't matter. You're going to have an ugly patch wherever you park, but... You can put it down a little tinny.

If you get a bit low, give it a couple of glugs. Yeah. Okay. And it also doesn't fail the wasp. Like, every year they just ride on my wasp. They just mention that there's oil leaks, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know. I love that. What kind of car are you driving?

Same, like an old European car? No, it's a Toyota Camry. Oh, yeah, that's different. Toyotas don't even need oil, the old rumour goes. Monique, thank you. Tyler, your team best case scenario? Yes, sounds like it's your your team best case scenario? Yes. Sounds like it's your lucky day because you've struck oil.

There you go. You're saying the oil isn't coming from the car. It's bubbling up from the ground. I'm rich. Out of the ground. Back to oil. Wait, but is Shannon rich if she's just renting the property? Would the landlord technically be rich? He doesn't have to know about it, does he?

No, he doesn't listen to ZDM, I don't think. Also in New Zealand, I don't know, isn't it the access to the ground that you own, not the minerals a certain amount of oil? Oh, right. Isn't there some weird rule about it? Yeah, but just sort that out once you've put it into big tankers. So you maybe get a drilling rig on the back property.

Do you guys want some oil? Well, I can always get a bit more oil. Okay, I'll get one of those cans. Bring it in. Oh, my God. Yeah, easy. Thank you, Tyler. Let's go to Ben.

You've got a worst-case scenario for producer Shannon. I do. I'm a qualified mechanic. I've been working on feed-ups for the last 12 years. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here it goes. Here it goes with some facts.

Not old drive-on oil and off-struck oil and all of these airy-fairy things. He's going to hit us with some facts, not old drive-on oil and off-struck oil and all of these airy-fairy things. He's going to hit us with some facts. Go, Ben, go. Yes, it's not looking great. I mean, it's not stage four cancer, but it is stage one. Oh, okay. You should definitely get that looked.

A good way to determine whether it's a current leak or an old leak is when you go home, put a fresh bit of cardboard underneath your car and then see if there's a patch there. And if there is a patch there, then that's quite a serious leak. Ben, somebody messaged in, and I saw this happen to someone I know semi-recently, is they had an oil change and the oil filter got changed and it just didn't get screwed in 100% correct. Because she did just have an oil change in her service. Could that be a possibility?

Yeah, absolutely. I've seen that a couple of times. It's not a good look on the mechanic, but, hey, look, we're all human. Okay. But it does happen, absolutely. Well, maybe first step, go back to the service place and just double-check it was put Well, maybe first step go back to the service place and just double check it was put on right. But okay, otherwise, what about

the emoji on the dashboard with the man sitting on the seat in front of the gorgeous sun, aka the airbag light. Yeah, the airbag light will fill your next bluff. Wait, I have to pass that though,

right? Yeah, you do It's like NCEA Or anything else that is pass or fail you'll want to pass Will it sort itself out because I've got two months before my WAF Could it just come back off? Unfortunately Not to have that late

Could you put a sticker over the light? Or find the fuse I'm sure Thank you very much Ben for your insight Could you put a sticker over the light? Like a black star. Or find the fuse. Yeah, I like that. I'm sure. Thank you very much, Ben, for your insight. Much appreciated. Really appreciate that. Some messages in.

Best case scenario, leave your car parked on the side of the road and somebody either steals it or crashes into it and it gets written off so then you can collect the insurance money and start saving for a new car. That's somebody's best case scenario. It's optimistic.

It's optimistic. It's also insurance fraud and we're not encouraging that at all. Worst case scenario, an old European car for anyone in their 20s is just not a best case. Love from a girl in her 20s

that had an old European car with an engine light on who just spent $5,000 and then a week later the engine light came back on. I don't want that. It sounds like everyone with the worst case though, there's still some

positives in it. Like Ben the mechanic then just said it could be fine. I'm seeing mainly positive. You are an optimistic person. I don't know, you are very optimistic. FYI, no car should leak oil. It's like if we were leaking blood. You would

get it fixed or at least looked into I have the same problem with the same car and I'll say it, you're doomed I have a giant black oil mark where I park and I've taken it to three different places that say, oh yep, that's fixed and then the black mark just keeps getting bigger and bigger

you're doomed. Well, yeah, because it has flooded recently as well. I forgot to mention that. What do you mean? Your car flooded or you flooded the engine? No, no, no, the car flooded. 50 litres of water got in it during the floods. And so I do know the bottom of the car is not watertight.

Oh, God. I don't think anyone can help you Apart from that duck boat That does the tours in the harbour I don't know any car that's watertight from the bottom Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I'd say that again. Well, that's the technical term. I think when you're away tomorrow, if Hayley's back, I don't know if we'll continue poop week. That's okay. Here at Fact of the Day.

There are some very interesting facts. Well, if you could just leave three about poop. I could send you some links. I've been reading articles. Yeah, okay. No, I'm not sending you male body spray links. You looked at me confused like I was going to pop a voodoo or an Africa in the post.

Africa. Africa voodoo. Voodoo. No voodoo or an Africa in the post. Africa. Africa voodoo. Voodoo. No, I'm not popping that in the post. I could send you some links to some stories I've been reading. Today's fact of the day. Blew my mind. Okay.

Men and women poop differently. How? That is quite a... Puzzled. Well, for a start, women had wider palaces than men, as well as a few extra internal organs. Congratulations. A round of applause for the uterus and the ovaries.

Yep. As a result, their colons hang a bit lower than men's and are a bit longer. On average, 10 centimetres. That's about four inches extra colon. Hayley's got a long one. Remember every time she gets a colonoscopy? Yeah, they have to put the extension on.

The extension cord. It's like when you're washing a house and you see that person twist it and then stretch the brush out and then twist it tight again. Get an extra meter. Yeah. Men have more rigid abdominal walls that help push through the gastrointestinal tract more effectively. We poop more effectively. But we've got abs.

Do we have abs? On the inside. We've got abs. Abs on the inside. Abs on the inside. Abdominal wall. We've all said that, eh? Yeah.

Underneath. The abs are actually underneath. There's a little something underneath. Yeah. So the passage of stool, the journey that the poo goes on is more challenging for women, making them more prone to bloating and constipation, and men, on the other hand, are just generally more regular. This is another thing men have easier.

Again, super sorry. I feel really bad about this news. I feel terrible about it. I wish Hayley was here to hear how sorry we feel. Yeah, this might have even just been an easier pill to swallow from her rather than two men who just poop. Easily. Just easily poop. Easily. Just easily poop.

So apparently experts in the field would be able to tell if a poo was from a male or a female. What? Wow. By looking at it? Yeah. Because of how it forms or the contents? The form of it. Really?

Yeah. That's fascinating. Remember they found that really old Viking poo a few years ago? Right. It was like this dig site and they're like, oh, what's this? And then someone was like, that just looks like a massive Viking dung. Did it have a couple of bits of corn? They weren't big on corn. Weren't they?

Nah. Didn't know that. A little tube of carrot? Yeah, they love their carrots because you can grow it in the cold. In there. And apparently the experts deciphered that it was a male one. That's insane. Because of how they studied it and everything.

Crazy. Wow, okay. So today's fact of the day is men and women, we poop different. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Apparently, this side of the pandemic's peak, Officeware has taken a step down the formal ladder. Because we're... People got used to working from home.

So where you may have worked somewhere that was very formal, it may be slightly more semi-formal. Like a jean? For a semi-formal, it might be a casual. Okay. So you go from a suit to a chino? Yeah. And shirt? Yes. For the guys.

Still, you know, dressed up, buttoned up, but not super formal anymore. And shorts are one of the things, because when you step down the formal ladder, of course, shorts join around the

semi-formal rung. I feel like our workplace is a bit different, isn't it? Like our studio, it's not like people can see us. I mean, they can see our waist up if we do videos. Yes. But if we wear shorts, it's like who cares? We'll wear Birks and Jandals in summer in shorts. Yeah, I'm wearing Birkenstocks and jeans today.

This is my favourite. People think it's weird, but I love the combo. It's a good combo. It's a great combo. So, yeah, shorts in the workplace, is it a yay or a nay? Did they have a...

Are people just saying, don't do it? It all depends on where you work. A recruitment agency said, workers are more comfortable and thus more productive if they if they want to wear shorts and then they wear shorts i know like people wear suits to work i couldn't imagine anything worse i always get so sweaty in a suit yeah so sweaty in the shirt and then you don't

feel comfortable you feel sweaty and you don't feel good well uh producer carl when were you actually having this debate yesterday at work yeah so, so I obviously had COVID last week and I just couldn't be bothered dressing up too much. I was like, I want to wear my new Robbie Williams t-shirt. Yes, I got a Robbie Williams t-shirt at the concert. Then COVID. You got COVID and a t-shirt for $49. Hell of a bargain. Is that what the t-shirt says?

I went to Robbie Williams and all I got was this t-shirt and COVID. That and a picture of him naked. Anyways, and I wanted to wear shorts with it because it was just cute and comfy. So I sent a little pic to Shannon. I was like, what do we think?

Do we think this is too like I'm going on a promo shift to be in the office? Oh, okay. You know, like it just gave a little bit like, oh, she's going to a little festival

or whatever. And you decided against it? No, I decided to wear them. Shorts, I think the trend has come back a bit lower for Gen Z girls. So it was very much like the Daisy Duke, very short denim shorts. Now we've kind of gone for like a mid-thigh.

A little short. Oh, I think I'm mid-shy. A mid-thigh. Mid-shy? You're shy. You're a little bit shy. Yeah, these are a bit shy. But I don't mind a shorty short either.

I'll rock a shorty short. I just think, yeah, for like a lot of Gen Z girls, like maybe two or three years ago, I wouldn't have worn denim shorts to the office. But now that the trend's a bit longer, I'll rock them to work now. Right. So that's, I think, where we're at.

And actually, I would say that Georgia from the Day Show does this and she wears with cute shoes, not just sneakers. So it dresses it up a little, almost. She wears her cowboy boots. She wears her little cowboy boots and some little slides. Like little mules. Yeah. So I think we, let's bring little slides. Like little mules. Yeah. So I think we, let's bring back shorts to the office, girl.

I never stopped. I'll just say I never stopped. Yeah, that's good, though. You are ahead of the trends. Yeah, thank you. I don't often see you in a dress. Not anymore. Not anymore.

Not anymore, yeah. Not anymore. Not after the balls incident. As we call it in the HR department. We call it the balls incident, but we don't talk about that. All I'm saying is if you're going to wear a skirt that short, you have to learn to sit like a lady. You can't be spreading it in a staff meeting wearing no undies.

And the only reason we don't call it the butthole incident is balls incident rolls off the tongue a little bit. It's a bit not. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, in Japan, it's estimated 1.5 million people. A class. This is according to the government as social loners. By choice?

Well, not really. No. Because do they have, they've got a population imbalance, right? Like so many elderly. Old people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're top heavy. And of course, they've got a population imbalance, right? Like so many elderly. Old people, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're top heavy. And of course they spend so much time working,

there's not enough time to socialise because of the culture. And people don't want to start families. So it's a kind of mix of all of this. And they reckon that, yeah, there's 1.5, and it's just a big social epidemic, a loneliness epidemic. And it's led to the rise of websites where you can hire fake girlfriends and fake boyfriends. Now, purely platonic, these websites. So no, no naughtiness, no hanky panky. It's just if you want to go on a date, you pay for one, two, three, four hours and you

hire them, you pay them. And how much does that cost? Well, okay, so there's a couple of, so because of a couple of YouTubers, this has kind of become a news story because they're like, obviously in Japan, they're like, oh, I might try this, make a video, get some hits.

And yeah, it just depends. So anywhere they talk about one girl, she was 64 pounds. So what's that? $140 for two hours. So I hope that's not her weight. Should have been like 20 something kgs. It says in her bio

that she makes bread and sweets and watches anime on her days off and that she is calm. Do I get to hang out and just eat the bread and sweets and watch anime with her? Maybe she can make you bread, but then that's ingredients. You might have to buy the ingredients because it's not cheap, is it? That's right. I'm willing to pay £65.

Another girl explains in her bio that she's shallow and that most of her conversations burst into laughter. She likes cafe tours, shopping, and alcohol. What does she cost? £320. That's $663 New Zealand dollars. What does she cost? 320 pounds. That's 663 New Zealand dollars. Yeah, I think that was for a bit longer. That might have been four hours or a bit more. I would have thought this,

if you just said, what country is this happening? You can rent people to be platonic pretend. I thought with Thanksgiving happening in America, there might have been a bit of this. You wouldn't rent a girlfriend to take home to your family, would you, for a boyfriend? If you only saw them once a year and this. Oh, you wouldn't rent a girlfriend to take home to your family, would you? Or a boyfriend? If you only saw them once a year and this was the time and they were constantly nagging you.

Oh, had to get them off your back. Yeah, yeah, you could constantly, you could just say, oh yeah, this is my partner. God, there need to be a good actor though. Yeah. I mean, you could have broken up for Christmas or Christmas you're spending with her family so you can't go back to yours. But yeah, it happens both ways. And women as well renting the fake boyfriends

and apparently it's like a massive industry now. There was a Japan you could hire someone and you would cry and they'd tell you it'd be okay. You're just like, they'd come around and sit down and you'd just start bawling. Therapeutic cry and they'd be putting your head down.

It's okay. How much does that cost? I don't know. I just feel like that was definitely, that might have been the other side. That might have been 2019. Surely that picked up again after the pandemic. I feel like there's something for everything. Japanese person to cry to. To cry to. Well, there is, for example, one person said they're okay with hand-holding on a second date.

Oh, okay. And they'll also go swimming with you, but nothing about crying. Swimming? Yeah, they'll go swimming. Hmm. So in 2018, yeah, see why Japanese women are paying to cry with a handsome man. Oh, he's got to be handsome. Oh, he's got to be handsome.

So he goes and he sits down with his handsome face and then she cries and it makes him cry. Well, you don't want to cry to a faggot, you know? And no climbing. Because it makes it better. Well, you don't want to cry to a faggo, you know? And no comment. Because it makes it better when they're attractive? I mean, they're a stranger either way. What does it matter if they're attractive or not? You're crying and they're patting your head and telling you it's going to be okay.

How much is that? How much? Does it say how much? No, I can't see the price. Okay. Wouldn't be cheap, though. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well.

If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.