ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 21st November 2024

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

3 in 4 Facebook Shares Haven't Been Read International Spanish Champ is a Kiwi Silly Little Poll - Do You Wash Your Op Shop Clothes? Fashion News - Are Boat Shoes Back? Top 6 - Things NOT to Order at a Restaurant Carwen has a Question for The Cops Liam Payne's Funeral Update Where Did You Travel for the Pic? Vaughan is Inspiring the Next Generation Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name - Gay Edition! Is Hayley Having a Midlife Crisis? Fact Of the Day When Did You Spill Something on Someone?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Thursday. God, we've got some treats in this show.

Just looking ahead. Yeah, we're going to play, but I can guess your mum's name today. I see a rainbow flag. There's a bit of a twist. So I hope you've got your psychic ability switched on today. Oh, well, it was a dud last time. Maybe I've got a sort of a blockage. No, no.

Get out of your own head. That was a real loss for you last time. Yeah, it was. Well, channel that. You said Kirstie and it was Kristen or something like that. No, I said Kristen and it was, no, I said Kirstie and it was Kirstie. Yeah. And it was Kirstie by birth, never Kirstie.

Well, get your psychic ability warmed up. I'm going to play a bit I Can Guess Your Mum's Name this morning just after the news at eight o'clock. Are you wearing Birkenstocks today? Yeah, I'll do an earth. You're a slight earth. Do some earthing. Yeah, do some earthing.

I don't think I took them off last time and they Well, there you go. The cork soles, of course. An insulator. The top six coming up. Yeah, Gordon Ramsay has said he doesn't order soup of the day.

Why? When he goes to a restaurant. Because it's too you don't want to waste the What are you going out for soup for? you don't want to waste the gut space. What are you going out for soup for? Yeah, it's gut,

it's wasting gut space. You're wasting really precious gut space. If you're thirsty, have a drink. Have a drink. If you're hungry, have a meal.

So I've got the top six things I don't order at restaurants either. Why doesn't he order the soup though, the gut space? Because he said it's probably just all old stuff that was left over.

That's what you do. You make the soup out of it. Only time I ever make soup is if I'm doing fridge scrap soup. Yeah, and make it make a soup. Yeah, make it make a soup. Easy. Well, that's good advice from Gordon Ramsay. Top six coming up next on the show.

It turns out that a lot of the links you're getting sent online, people aren't reading. Oh, for God's sake. You're saying that, what you're saying is that we're just reading headlines and sharing blindly. Hayley, it turns out that may be the case. What? There's been a study done on this.

We'll share the results next. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. done on this. We'll share the results next. There's been a huge study done at the Facebook posts that people share. 35 million of them have been analysed. These are posts that have been shared over a three year period. Shares without clicks

is the study name. Now I do this, but only if it's a funny headline, and I know you guys will laugh at the headline. And again, you probably won't read the story either. So it's people sharing articles they haven't even clicked. So of the 35 million that were shared, that were forwarded, 75% are not read or opened by the person sending it. And it's worse for extreme content.

76 to 82% of extreme content isn't read by the person before they share it. Yeah it's worse for extreme content. 76 to 82% of extreme content isn't read by the person before they share it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the headline. Yeah. It'll be like

alarmist material as well, right? They're like, oh my God, I've got to read this. And you're like, you haven't even wrapped your head around it.

For me, it's either, if I send you guys articles, it's either news stories about something interesting that we've been talking about or Goss. Or you've got a great news website that I

love getting articles from, The Onion. And I'm always so blown away by the journalism there. The stuff that they uncover, it's unreal. But it's just, if it's a funny headline, I'll send it. Like, you guys aren't reading the story either, are you? I ain't got no time. No, it's just a story.

It's just a headline. Yeah, I feel like this would happen a lot probably, especially with the election, the American election just gone, right? That would be such a big thing, people sharing things like, look at this article about this, and you haven't read it.

Maybe some boomers sending some links. Yeah, we love that. It's the same people that share a Facebook link to win a Range Rover, and all you've got to do is pick the colour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or tag a friend. Is your mum still doing that? Nah,

she doesn't do anything on Facebook apart from like pictures of her grandkids now. That's good. Well done. That's nice. Or hijack my happy birthday posts to people that we both know. Yeah. I'll be like, hey, happy birthday. I hope it's a great day. I hope you're well. Good luck. Enter. And then

I'll get a notification. Christine Smith has also commented on it. And then it'll be like, yes, happy birthday from Ian and I as well. Oh, I love that. Get your own post. It's saving her time. Also, cute that you still Facebook birthday. I'm a great guy. What can I say?

He's still doing that. Oh, my God. I've moved to messages. I've put people a message on their birthday now saying, hey, happy birthday, buddy. Right. Yeah. Because I just went on my Facebook to try and see the last thing I shared on there

because I don't really use it anymore. And it was my birthday like a month ago and 40 friends posted on your timeline. Now, back in the day, that used to be over 100. That would have been like poor numbers. Yeah, I know. Back in the day.

And I didn't even read these. I've just seen them now. How rude. I just don't use it. It's open all the time. Hayley Jane, Hayley Jane, I raised you seen them now. How rude. I just don't use it. It's open all the time. Hayley Jane, I raised you better than this. Those people wished you a happy birthday. I have missed out on messages like happy birthday,

happy birthday Hayley, happy birthday HBD, happy birthday Hayley. I love a HBD. Happy birthday. Those people are all probably waiting for a reply. All the time people have put into these messages, happy birthday you, happiest of birthdays, happy birthday. You've really missed out on some quality stuff there.

God, I wish I had read these quality messages from people. Did anybody put a photo up of you and them? Do you know what they used to all the time? Lack of luster. No, nobody cares. No photos. On Facebook. No, nobody cares.

Nothing. This is BS. I'm just leaving. Before you send a link, maybe just check it. Just read it. I got an HBHJ. Happy birthday, Hayley James. That's a nice acronym.

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. I think I have a subject for the next Sunday Night Montana Theatre. I don't know if that's a thing. Isn't it not? Do they not do Sunday Night Theatre? Stop playing with your nipples. What are you doing? Hayley was like running her hands down her

bristicles. It was a big nipple stroke. It's gone hard and at the end of that song I was itching my back really nicely and it seemed to chill through my body. And my nipples went hard. And I just touched them. Okay?

Well, we're not fondling ourselves in front of you. I'm not fondling. I was just noting. I thought it was the very mention of Sunday Night Montana Theatre to an actress. I was rubbing my shoulders. Oh, I dream of having a job on there. Oh, New Zealand Air Funding. I do apologise.

You think a good television drama. Okay. A subject would be Nigel Richards. He's a New Zealand air funding. I do apologise. You think a good television drama. Okay. A subject would be Nigel Richards. He's a New Zealander. He's the same New Zealander that in 2015 won the French Scrabble Championship, not speaking French whatsoever, but memorising in three months 360,000 French words. Okay.

Do you have to get Duolingo and get hypnotised or something? Yeah. How do you do that? How do you do that? How do you remember that? Eidetic memory relating to or denoting mental images having unusual vividness and detail as if actually visible. So he basically just reads and can picture the dictionary. I need that for my Spanish Duolingo because I'm terrible.

You'd need to see it. Now, is he autistic? He's never confirmed from. I'm terrible. You'd need to see it. Now, is he autistic? He's never confirmed from what I can see. I've done a little bit of research on him and he's never come out and said yes. I'm only asking because I

watched a documentary about eidetic memory and it was a British kid could see, could draw. Yes. And they flew him over Barcelona and then he drew it.

What? So, and he had autism. Yeah, dude. I watched, that was a documentary about people with savant autism where they couldn't,

you know, their social function was not. Barcelona is an incredible city from above. Like mazes. Yeah. Yeah. The whole thing was about people with severe.

It was BBC, right? And it was a woman who listened. They found a piece of music she'd never heard before. Yeah. And they played it to her once. Like the thong song by Cisco. Yeah, like Cisco the thong song. I think it might have been a classical tune.

It was a classical piece. Similar. Excuse me. Excuse me. Cisco the thong song is a classical song. You're right, actually. Beethoven, Cisco. Yeah.

It's got that orchestra bit at the start. Quite right. Yeah. right, actually. Beethoven, Cisco. Yeah. It's got that orchestra bit at the start. You're quite right. Yeah, and it's, yeah, okay. I beg your pardon. Thank you. Stephen Wiltshire was a savant autistic artist who drew Barcelona on a 13-foot canvas after one

single helicopter flight over the city. Because his brain could see it and retain it and then he just drew in great detail. Like buildings, how they all looked and everything. So this New Zealand guy. So wait a minute I haven't talked about it. The woman was the example. They played an 8 minute piece of concert

piano. Thong, thong, thong, thong. The 8 minute extended Cisco thong song version. She'd never heard it before and then she sat down and replicated it by ear on a piano. Never having heard it before. then she sat down And replicated it by ear On a piano Never having heard it before Let me see That song Let me see the booty dope Yeah that would have been

Incredible That's amazing That would have been incredible Word for word Note for note And so this Kiwi guy Has what Something similar

Well he's got The memory So his history is In 2071 The world's Scrabble championship 2008 He won the US World Scrabble Championship. 2008 he won the US National Scrabble

Championship. 2009 he was the runner up in the US National Scrabble Championship. Oh, he would have been disappointed. He won 25 of the 31 matches, but apparently this guy got a killer word score on it. Oh yeah. It was enough. Then in 2011 World Scrabble Champs again

against an Australian, so that feels good 2012 through to 2015 when he won the 2015 French World Scrabble Championship after two months of Studying French What did you think He just scanned a French dictionary

He just read the dictionary And looked for nice long words And words for vowels And so he's done the same now for Spanish Now he's done it for Spanish He just read the dictionary. Yeah, just read it. It looks for nice long words and words with vowels. And so he's done the same now for Spanish. Now he's done it for Spanish. Oh my God. That's incredible, isn't it?

Yeah. What's his name? Nigel. Nigel Richards. Well done, Nigel. He's 56 or 57. Question mark on his Wikipedia. Okay.

He was born in Christchurch, New Zealand. He's got two passions, Scrabble and bike riding. Great passion. Something physical, something mental. Yeah, keeps him going. Love that. Wow.

I wonder what the word score for Cisco would be. Or Thong. It's got a Q in it. Thong. Yeah, it's got a Q. Would you get it on a triple word score? If you got the Q on a triple letter, and then the whole word,

at least a double. Q value in Scrabble. It's 10. It's 10 because it's a Q. letter score and then the whole word I want at least a double Q value in Scrabble it's 10 it's 10 because it's a Q I play Scrabble a lot

Q and Z both 10 you play Scrabble a lot but you've never won X is 8 I haven't even won even in English you haven't even beat

your family S is only 1 I is only 1 yeah all the vowels are 1 yeah they're all the rest is only 1 terrible word there J and X are 8.

They're great. So it's 14. Get the Q on a triple word score. You got 30. So you kind of need jazz and x-ray. Double it. We're looking at an 88 word there if you're on a double. Okay, good.

Pretty good. Pretty good. It's on the board, isn't it? Can't use names in Scrabble though, so that was a waste of time. 18 past 6. You can use names when we play. Yeah. House rules. House rules. 18 past six. You can use names when we play. Yeah.

House rules. House rules. And swear words. And swear words. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little Paul, if you're an op shop shopper, washing op shop clothes before wearing. I've never even purchased secondhand clothes off Trade Me or Marketplace, but I'd imagine you'd always give it a wash. Last time I got a shirt, kind of a summer shirt from an op shop, I washed it. Do you know for about like 10 years, I reckon, I only wore op shop clothes because I got into fashion, but I didn't have any money. You're so Wellington.

So Wellington. But I liked clothes, but couldn't afford the clothes I liked, so I'd always go to Save Mart. And sometimes if I was going out on a Friday and Saturday night and I found something cute, that thing ain't getting washed. I'm perfume dousing that thing and I'm going out in Susan's old frock. Oh, really? You know what I mean? Yeah.

Unless it was one of those good days in Wellington where the sun was shining and you'd get it washed and dried in the afternoon. When does that happen? Do you know sometimes you see, and I know there's people that would be unfortunate enough that they would have to, but some people might,

there are undies at op shops sometimes. Okay, I have purchased bras. I've purchased. Okay, but you're washing those, right? At least. Yeah, you definitely wash your undergarments. But I've purchased bras because bras are expensive and you've seen like a nice bloody Elle Macpherson there in your size.

What, you're not going to... Do Kmart do cheap ones that are good? Yeah. Right. Yeah, they actually do. Are they good? I haven't worn a Kmart bra, but I think they're good. Maybe not if you're hefty in the tartars.

Is Elle Macpherson still getting a name in knickers? Oh no, it was Heidi Klum. A name in knickers. Heidi Klum took over the Al McPherson brand. Oh, did she? So it was the same undies. Al McPherson Intimates. Oh, but they just said, oh, you're gone.

Yeah. Right. Al McPherson body at Shopify.com. I wonder how much she gets, like a cut, Heidi Klum. Must be a lot. I don't think she has much to do with the design of it. It's just her name. Just how much she gets.

Because you know she can afford some incredible Halloween costumes every year. I know. And some incredible cosmetic work. But she doesn't have to buy as many fish anymore. Yeah, because she doesn't have a seal. She's got rid of her seal. You misread the headlines, Tom,

but that's all right. Don't worry about it. Look, I appreciated that. It's tickled you great. It really tickled me. Oopsie, I just shut down Facebook in the excitement. And that's where we have our SoliloPoll results. Reloading, just a moment.

Do you want me to give the stats? You can read the comments. SoliloPoll, washing op shop clothes before wearing. 81%, yes always. All right. You manky. I'm manky. Most of the time, 12%.

I'd sit in that category. Yep. Nah. 6%. Nah. Nah. Just hang it up. They don't wash them, mate.

They don't wash them. Unless they're dirty. Depending on the place depends on the kind of wash. Right. Whether it's part of a huge just sort of spritz or if it's individually. Individually? No, I said industrially. No, I said of spritz. Or if it's individually. Individually? No, I said industrially. No, I said individually.

All right. If they've been individually washed. Jamaican people like to have sex. Individually. Wow. Wow, cancelled. No, not cancelled. Celebrated.

I'm going to a Jamaican restaurant. I'm going to that Jamaican restaurant on Friday. And I think you should go and be like, I have a joke for you. How do us Jamaicans have to sex? Individually. Hey, remember last time we talked about the Jamaican accent? I clarified that white people can be Jamaican as well.

They can have the accent. Yeah. All right, some comments on this. That's a great joke, Paul. Thank you. It's not better than the seal joke. Well, I'm here for... You can have many good jokes. Yeah, joke, Paul. Thank you. It's not better than the seal joke. Well, I'm here for, I'll do one for everybody. You can have many good jokes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Each, you know. It's great that you've got more than one joke on the show today. Thank you. Yeah, actually, it's 6.25. We're off to a roaring start. You've done two. It's brilliant.

Renee says, oh my God, scabies. Got to be the hottest of hot washers first, always. But what if what you're purchasing isn't hot washable? Yeah, it's sequins. Oh. You can get that stuff you pour in, like you add it to the wash to kill all the germs. The Ascabes wash. Would that be?

Yeah. Yeah. It's not antibacterial. We used to use it for gym clothes if they get a bit rank. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so there you go, Renee. You don't always have to hot wash.

Yeah, because they smell a bit funky. No hate, but they do, says Michelle. They do. Yeah, they just got a funky smell. They might have been balled up with other clothes for a while. For ages, Renee. You don't always have to hot wash. Yeah, because they smell a bit funky. No hate, but they do, says Michelle. They do. Yeah, they've just got a funky smell. They might have been balled up with other clothes for a while. For ages, yeah. They're getting a little air out now. I bought some clothes for a themed party on the day of the party,

so no time to wash them. My husband and I ended up with scabies. Never doing that again. Now I wash all secondhand clothes hot as soon as I get home and jump in the hot shower after a trip to the shop. Oh, my God. How have I not ever had scabies? After years

of just rocking up in some dead man's jacket. Yeah, I think scabies is too cold to survive in Wellington. Unless, imagine the timing if her husband had cheated on her and contracted scabies sexually. Oh my god. It'll clearly be the op shop clothes. Yes! That's my

conspiracy theory. How the hell did you get scabies? Who have you been rubbing up against? Op shop clothes. Dead man walking. How did you get gonorrhea? Op shop clothes. I didn't wash the undies. Yeah. Have chlamydia on shirts? Yes. I put on the undies and it touched

me individually. Individually? Catherine says you should wash all new clothes regardless if they're second hand or new. Oh, shush. Who's doing that? Straight off the rack. Do you know the one I don't understand is when people buy new sheets and they don't wash those. You have to.

You have to. You've got to fluff them. You've got to soften them. You know I'm anti-dryer, but new sheets need a little finish off in the dryer. Well, you can dry on the line, but give it a finish in the dryer. Yeah, you can dry on the line, but give it 10 in the dryer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gets it to fluff. Soften, soften. Yeah.

Brittany says, nah, 90% of the time I'm buying clothes to put straight on, and I often spill something on the outfit before going out, so. Right. Sammy said, yes, always wash, because someone could have died in that. With scabies, too. Dying with scabies, eh? I like the smell, says Ali, and I know that's rank, but there's a classic op shop smell that I find comforting.

I know the smell. The mustiness? Like a smell of granum pops. Yeah. It's not dirty, because it's unique. George said, if it's touching my skin, I'll wash it straight away. Otherwise, if it's like a jacket, I'll just put it straight on. Yep. I try to,

but being a last minute girly, sometimes I'm buying something for that very evening, I'll just put it straight on. Yep. I try to, but being a last-minute girly, sometimes I'm buying something for that very evening, said Anna. Bit of Hayley influence there. All right. When you're a poor backpacker, it's a no. You're buying those clothes because you desperately need them. Yeah. Immediately.

Immediately. That is still a little pulp. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Harry sells his bank with the moustache and there's a bit of a mullet go it's a bit, yeah I don't know, it's a bit bogan I lean towards it and then I look away, do you know what I mean? I'm not sure where I stand on it

also the carriage that was carrying anyway, stay tuned for that because lots happened everything that's happened overnight there right now though, fashion news, as you know fashion is my passion though today I'd say my outfits are six. Okay. Just, you know, chucked it on.

That's just what I do. It's crinkled, dirty. Yeah. I do every day. I actually just tried your method of grab top, grab bottom. Yep. Wear it. Sneaker.

Wear it. Nothing much else and come to bottom. Yep. Wear it. Sneaker. Wear it. Nothing much else and come to work. Yeah. It's left me feeling a little bit flat. So Fletcher's technique is grab top, grab bottom. Yeah. Right. You should try it.

Threesome, hot. You should try it. Yeah, yeah. Grab top, grab bottom. What could go wrong? Just Birkenstocks. Yeah, it's a summer classic. Top, bottom Birkenstocks.

I'm in the chucks today. Yep. The toes need addressing. I'm, I've, if's a summer classic. Top bottom Birkenstocks. I'm in the chucks today. Yep. The toes need a dressing. I'm, I've, if we're talking fashion. We are talking fashion. I've taken on board the fact that you guys are like, because we only literally come to work in this t-shirt and then go home and take it off and either gym

or get changed into something and start pottering around the farm. Let. Yeah. I'm wearing shirts sometimes now if I give them the sniff test and if they're fine, I wear them two days. Yes. Good. Your shirt will last longer.

This outfit I'm wearing, I wore out to my gigs last night. Oh. Oh, I wouldn't have. No, I didn't get sweaty. I did eight minutes twice and then went home. It's good saving water,

saving the washing machine. Yeah. Saving the world. We had a plumber at our house and he said, I think you've got a pump leak. Your pump keeps turning on every 10 to 15 minutes.

I said, oh, no, no, no. I live with three females. There's three women. And what you're experiencing now is the dishwasher being on, the washing machine being on. The shower being on. Everything being on and off. I was like, that's just, that's how much water we use. And they love their water in their, you know, three litre water bottles.

Oh, massive water bottles. Yeah. Well, we're talking footwear. Okay. Because as you know, sort of sometimes ugly is the fashion, right? Yeah. If you think about like ugly, lumpy jumpers or capris came back or even Birkenstocks for a while were seen as these weird like backpacky sandals.

Nah, they're fashion. And then the ugly sort of dad trainer was the thing. The New Balance 530s, the Adidas Sambas. Everyone was like, this is the show of the season. For ages. I was in a shoe shop the other day and there's still heaps

of those New Balance. I know. Kind of that look. Yep. Well, you know, it's a trickle down effect because this is coming straight from Milan and London, darling.

Oh, darling. Darling. And it'll reach us soon. So we're still on the ugly trainer vibe where we're, you know, the dad look, the sneans. Yep.

Sneakers and jeans. You love this look, Fletch. You not as much. Vaughn, you love the etnies and the long boardies. I love long boardies, a high sock, tube sock. Yeah, tube sock. With a couple of stripes. You do your jeans and Birkenstocks.

I do jeans and Birkenstocks. But you're more of a jeans and boots guy the rest of the time. Yeah, I don't wear. I put some non-boot shoe on the other day and I was just like, this feels weird. Yeah. Light.

Yeah. Because you wear a working man's boot. Well, replacing the dad's shoe, the dad's sneaker, I hate to say it, guys, it's the boat shoe. Oh, no. I hate boat shoes.

I'm not. It is the boat shoe. I can't do it. I've been through a couple of boat shoe renaissance periods. Yeah, and I've never done it. Never caved to it. It's a smelly shoe because you can't wear a sock with it. Yes.

Or you have to wear a socket. Socket. An invisible sock. Shameful. What kind of boat shoes are we... So they're calling it the ultimate ugly shoe. And when I say they, it's Vogue. Okay, so we listen.

Okay, yeah. People like Emma Chamberlain, who is a massive fashion influencer, she's wearing it, boat shoes. You're talking, you're kind of brown, lace-up loafer. I hate the horrible. 90s dad. Yuck. Boat shoe.

That one's got a white sock and a long blue skirt. You look like a brethren. No, I've seen people wearing those. Yeah. Look, here's a fashion queenie on the streets of Paris. Yeah. Great outfit, oversized jumper. I've seen a lot of these recently, and I just, I can't get on board.

I can't either. But, you know, you say these things, and we are slower at these things. You say it, you're like, oh, my God, that's awful. And then suddenly you're like. Because, my God, that's awful. And then suddenly you're like. Because everyone's wearing them. So your brain gets warped. How to style. Not me.

You'll never see me in boat shoes. I'll say it now. You'll stay in your retinues all summer. I'll stay in my DC skate shoes all summer. How to style boat shoes. This is from Vogue themselves. These are seen everywhere at New York Fashion Week. Pairing them with a high neck, ankle length black dress.

So we've got sort of a turtle ankle length black dress. Or other people are wearing them with slip skirts, baggy trousers and hot pants. And guys are wearing the loose fitting. Loose fitting linens. Like we're on a boat going to Lake Como or something. Price wise, you can go to Rod and Gun and get a pair of Gordon's Bay boat shoes for $159. That's reasonable. Alternative-ately.

Yep. Timberland. I don't know if you're saying that right. Alternative-ately. Alternative-ately. Okay, sorry. Is it another Jamaican word? No, no no no

it's a medical term again you're talking to a qualified doctor okay Timberlands do a boat show for $280 from Timberlands

okay Hush Puppies do one for $99 from number one shoe warehouse but if you wanted to go designer and go Mew Mew

if we're talking fashion Mew Mew they're doing one for $1400 are you kidding me just to look like a dick unless you're on a boat Miu Miu, if we're talking fashion, Miu Miu, they're doing one for $1,400. Are you kidding me? Just to look like a dick. Unless you're on a boat.

The only acceptable place to be on a boat. No one is on a boat wearing these. No, we're wearing flippers or we've got bare feet. Right? On a boat, we're in flippers or bare feet. I like to pilot my vehicle, my water steed, in a pair of flippers. In a great pair of flippers.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Just behind the scenes, as if we didn't have enough on our own plates, Hayley and I are now planning renovations at Fletch's place. We want to escape our own life. So much shit to do. You want to ruin my life.

Well, we'll come around and do that. We'll get that done. We'll abandon our own projects and spend your money. Gordon Ramsay, as far back as 2017, said he will not order soup of the day. Can you do a good Gordon? I can't even think what he sounds like. He will talk kind of talks like that.

No, that's terrible. That wasn't David. Order! Just yelling at us. So he's come out and said it again. It's like a hard rule for him because he said a lot of the time places are just putting the stuff they don't use the night or the day before into the soup. Which I get, it's a great use.

Absolutely. It's not waste. We're not poo-pooing. But that's what we do with leftovers at home. Yeah. You go somewhere and pay for food. For sure. I love going somewhere for an Asian soup. Oh, yum. And you just see that there's this giant continually boiling pot of broth.

Yum. I hope it's been there for weeks. Me too. It's better. Yeah. And it's just at a slow simmer the entire time. Oh, yum. It's fantastic.

I need to make you my Chinese soup. I make a good Chinese sort of like hot sour soup. Spicy sour soup. Yeah. Real good. Wait for winter. I can't do it in summer. Shardu's always like, let's go get a pho.

I'm like, it's 34 degrees outside. It's January 20. Refreshing lime, coriander. It's not time for a pho when it's 34. I will go for Vietnamese in the heat, though. You get your fresh Vietnamese. Yeah, nice. Beautiful.

Now we're talking. Gordon Ramsay, will not order soup of the day. Here are the top six things I won't order at a restaurant. Number six on the list, bottled beer. If it's not coming out of the tap, I don't want bottled beer at a restaurant. I have that at home. You know what? I want it out of a jar.

Even if it's a beer I don't particularly like, if it's the only thing on tap, I'm going to get the tap beer. I want a pint. I want a tap beer. It tastes better. Okay. I'm out. Yeah. I'm out.

If I want a bottle of beer, I'll drink one at home. Yeah, that's a good point. And when they get a bottle of beer at a restaurant, drink it straight from the bottle. At least pour it in the glass to give the feeling like we're out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Number five on the list of the top six things I wouldn't order at a restaurant.

Salad anything. Really? Oh, some places are doing some good salads out there. Yeah, but if they're doing good salad, they're probably going to do a bit of something else. A bit of steak. Yeah. Or a bit of big chicken thing. Number four on the list of the top six things I...

Big chicken thing? Big chicken thing. I'll get a big chicken thing. That's like me any time I go out anywhere. I'll just get big chicken thing. That's like me anytime I go anywhere. I'll just get the chicken thing. Yeah. Is there chicken on the menu? Yeah. I'll get the big chicken thing. How many sizes does the chicken come in?

We've got the smaller chicken. I don't want to hear about that. We're going to go to the other end of the scale of the big chicken thing. Big. Number four on the list of the top six things I don't order at a restaurant. Me personally? Calamari. I don't like it. restaurant. Me personally? Calamari. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't like it. I've never been a huge fan, but then I've listened to a few podcasts about octopuses,

and I have not watched my octopus teacher because I don't think I could handle it. Oh, it'll rock your world. Because they're a fascinating creature. They might even be in my top five. I could almost cry thinking about that documentary now. You need to watch that documentary. The guy is weird as all hell.

The guy is so weird, but it's a beautiful film. Number three on the list of the top six things I don't order at a restaurant. The second cheapest bottle of wine. We learned this years ago. The second cheapest bottle of wine is the cheapest and often the worst, but they know that you don't want to look cheap

by ordering the cheapest, so you're going to go for the second cheapest. Yeah. But it is often the cheapest by far. But what if they now know that you know't want to look cheap by ordering the cheapest, so you're going to go for the second cheapest. Yeah, but it is often the cheapest by far. But what if they now know that you know about that, so the third cheapest is now the cheapest? Oh, the reverse psychology reverse psychology to us. Yeah.

Well, I'll teach them. I'm going to buy the most expensive bottle. Ha ha, you taught them. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. I think they win either way. Yeah.

They got you there. Number two on the list of the top six things I don't order at a restaurant, eye fillet steak. Now, you might be thinking, Vaughan, you love your steaks. I love an eye fillet. I love my steaks. But eye fillet, you're like, yeah, I'll get the eye fillet, $40. And it comes out and it's a medallion.

I know. Your scotch is better value for money and, in my humble opinion, a tastier piece of meat. Okay. He's not wrong. And don't you dare get it cooked anything more than medium rare.

And if you can trust the place ask for rare. You're not passionate about many things but that's one of them. Yeah, steak. Meat. Meat.

When I'm paying for it it's so disappointing when you go out for a steak and it's not as good as a steak you could have had at home. Oh yeah. That hurts my feelings. Yeah.

And I feel it is always a let down because it's so tiny. Shame on you. Go for a scotch it's just as good as a steak, you could have had it home. Oh, yeah. That hurts my feelings. Yeah. And I feel it is always a letdown because it's so tiny. Shame on you. Go for a scotch. It's just better. It tastes better. If you can get a bone...

Okay, you've set him off on a meat run. He's on a meat run. If there's a bone in option... Keep going. Leave the bone in. It tastes better. Chew on the bone. Number one on the list

of the top six things I don't order at restaurants. Pasta. What are you, a child? We can make that at home. We are at a restaurant. What if you're in an Italian place? Ordering pasta at a restaurant as an adult is the equivalent of ordering chicken nuggets when you're a kid.

Everywhere they go, chicken nuggets. God damn it. I'm paying $13 for the equivalent of chicken nuggets that we could have had at home for $2. Four chicken nuggets. Dad's angry. Dad's really rocked up. I'm saying we're going out. Someone get Dad another Bottle of beer

At the restaurant No not a bottle of beer Whatever's on tap That is today's top six Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley Believe The children of the future

In a thing called love I can fly No Oh no no no No We don't believe We can fly anymore Okay

No I believe Producer Carwin has a very important legal question that she's decided to bring to her guardians, her guiders in life. Yeah, my agony aunts, my... Your inspiration, your raison d'etre. I think we're going to need some listeners to help answer this question.

Yeah, look, if there are any police officers listening, maybe let me know. Good morning. Good morning to them, just for me personally. What have you done? It's not bad. I've seen a number of videos across my TikTok page at the moment about hanging things from your rear view mirror. Oh, like some fluffy dice. Well, that's a Kiwi classic, isn't it? The fluffy dice. Yeah.

And like every basic girlie has a little jelly bean air freshener. I have one. I have a couple of little disco balls that hang from my... Jesus, you've got a whole situation going on here. Disco balls? What are you trying to frighten off the birds in the orchard? No, no. It creates like a little disco pattern in my car when I'm driving.

In your eyes when you're driving a hundred, that sounds... Because I just ordered, remember for Vaughan, Big Hearted James and I, three Borat air fresheners from Timu that say very nice. Exactly. But now I've seen across my TikTok, maybe like

four or five times now, girlies saying, hey, I just got pulled over and told off for my jelly bean air freshener. Take them down before you get a fine of like, I think she said like $300 or $400. Was this in New Zealand though? Yeah. Because it's apparently like technically blocking your vision.

It does. Nah. I see through the jelly bean. Nah. Shannon's chiming in. No, but you know how your eyes adjust like you can't see your nose? Yeah. I can see my nose.

I can see it right now. No, but you're not conscious of it. Until someone says, do you know you can always see your nose? Yeah, it is a little bit. You'd have to have a giant nose if the police were pulling you over because that was obscuring your view.

Yeah, how are you going to check your periphery? Yeah. So like, I'm wondering, is it illegal? And should I be taking this down? Because I want my car to smell nice. Shannon and I have matching ones. Yeah, she gave me disco balls.

It's good fun. I should have ordered you guys a couple of Borat. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. It was funny. It's quite cool. I've not seen that one.

It's not for me. I think it's quite cool. Are you sure? Yeah. Borat, super relevant and funny. Surely this isn't a thing, because there's lots of blind spots in cars. Your nose is one of them. And my honking inherited nose is definitely one of them.

But also, how am I supposed to keep my car smelling nice? I've never heard of this as a thing. Because also, dangly air fresheners have been around forever. When you buy a new car, they come with one in there. But now air fresheners have to more like clip on the vents. Yeah. Because we use the Akoya. Yes, yes. I use the Akoya one with the little nice discs

in it. Discs. Oh lovely. They're sort of wax discs. Don't know. I do have wax discs. I don't know if it is wax. I think it's just a fragrance. It's a soy wax disc. Is it? Yeah. And it's a fragrant disc. Yeah, it's lovely.

It does melt in some of it if you turn it on your heat. No, it doesn't melt. So perhaps it's not wax, but it is soy. Rewind the clock only moments ago you were swearing on the Bible it was wax. You swear on the Bible it was wax. I think it's a solid disc. I think it's a soy wax disc. I think it's a solid disc of smell. I think it's a solid disc of smell.

I think it's a smell disc too. It's a smell disc. But what's it made of? Like a soy sort of a wax? No, I don't believe it. I use the disc. It's not a soy a bean. It's a different type of soy.

Don't be absolutely silly. A bean? Come on now. I think the disco ball is the issue here. But what I'm thinking is like, these air fresheners have existed for forever. So if this was an issue, surely we would ban them from the shelves.

No? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I remember back in the day, I had a sticker on my front windscreen that went across the top. And it said something cool. And it said something cool.

It was so Hamilton. And it said something cool. And the police pulled it over and measured it with a tape and were like, no, it takes up too much of it and they made me take it off. Because my whole back windscreen is stickers. AI says hanging items from your rear view mirror is not explicitly prohibited in New Zealand but it can be dangerous and lead to penalties

if it is obstructing your view. So I think if you were taking the mic and you had like giant disco balls. Or just multiple things. It sounds like there's a lot of things hanging from the aquas. A lot of rosary beads. You see a lot of rosary beads hung from

the rear view mirror before. Sometimes you'll be on a bus in South America and there'll be a big Jesus. One of those wobbly Jesus. You gotta drive with Jesus. Do you think it's okay? Because half of my back windshield is stickers, and then I've got a disco ball, about three air fresheners,

and a fluffy rabbit hanging from mine. Yeah, that's a lot. You've also got the engine light on, so you're... And you're legally blind, so... Yeah, the worst of your problems. I think it's best that you just walk I do walk to work now do the stickers

on the back of your car say just keep a distance from me because I'm legally blind I should check a learner plate up keep your distance

I'm going rogue in here I'm not a safe driver my partner's a police officer and he said yes there is a ticket for obstruction of view but most air fresheners would be fine

it would depend how big they were right or if they saw you like do something that indicated you had an obstruction of view, but most air fresheners would be fine. It would depend how big they were. Right. Or if they saw you do something that indicated you had an obstruction of view. Like pull out in front of somebody or something. Like if your whole dashboard was covered in big plush soft toys

and this was hanging and that. Yeah, then that would be. And a beaded curtain that you sort of pulled apart like that and sort of hooked back. And a solar powered hula girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but she's life size. Yeah. That's obstruction of view. That would be too much. Oh, well, thank you for clearing that up. Extremely sad, isn't it, that Liam Payne deceased in such a horrible way.

And that was like five weeks ago that that happened. Yeah. And his funeral was yesterday. Well, it was Wednesday, London. Like while we were sleeping. While we slept. Oh, beautiful was Wednesday, London time. Like while we were sleeping. While we slept. Oh, beautiful. A gorgeous tune.

So it was at St. Mary's Church in Amersham. And it was a private funeral. So relatively small. Yeah. Although the one thing that I saw and I was like, huh, it just feels, I didn't imagine this, was that his coffin, as it arrived, was pulled in a horse-drawn carriage. Like quite a royal-looking, very British couple of white horses and a man in a top hat. Is it a very British thing to do?

Like, is that an option? I don't know. Or is it just that he was a celebrity that that's Oh he's definitely a celebrity. It was just very old fashioned. The horse drawn carriage. But anyway that's how his body arrived. They had

floral wreaths on the top. One saying daddy, one saying son because he was both of those things. And there was another floral arrangement that was of a bowling ball and some pins. And apparently he was a big fan of bowling. He loved bowling. He loved the 10-pin bowling.

Of course... The machine always jams. It's always jamming. Oh, yeah, a bit of a jam. Machine always jams. Always jamming. I hate bowling. And always resetting the pins.

I just think bowling is so boring. Last time I went, some of the animations, when you got like a strike or a spear also hadn't aged great. They're so rogue. So of course all of the One Directioners were there. Harry,

Zane, Louis and Niall Horan. Yes, we did mention before that Harry Styles is rocking a very stylised mullet and quite a thick stache. Yeah, it's a look. That's our review.

His girlfriend, Kate Cassidy, she was there. Obviously, it was a very sad event. Everyone was looking very solemn. And what's his name? Simon Cowell was there with his partner. I was wondering if Simon Cowell would be there. Yeah, rocking a, just everyone was in black, which is very traditional,

which I feel like in New Zealand, we've kind of moved away from that. Quite very traditional looking funeral in a very old fashioned London British church. Yeah. Horse and carriage, everyone in black. Simon Cowell in a turtleneck. Under a jacket

which always makes me think it's a nice look but god you'd sweat so was it a huge funeral or because I understood it was family and like

a few friends no it was relatively small I actually don't know the final numbers but it was small like it was not you know

it was more than 40 but less than 100 they were keeping it low key like arriving a horse drunk yeah they didn't want to attract attention they just wanted to were like fans outside They were keeping it low key, like arriving a horse drunk. They didn't want to attract attention.

Were there fans outside? Yeah, they were, but they were being kept at bay. And I think that apparently they were being quite respectful. But still turning up. You would hope so at a funeral. Turning up, though, that's a bit much. I mean, I know you're a fan, but come on. I know. And you're just going, it is a spectacle, I guess,

because it's such a moment in history, right? And for a big generation. But you're like, for this family, this is really devastating. They've lost a son and a father and a partner and all these things. So you're really sad and not a great amount of details from inside. And I think that's how they wanted it was because it was kept so private. And there you go. He's been laid to rest.

Finally. And with all the investigating that's been happening over the last five weeks, I think that's ongoing. Like that's why we talked yesterday about the fact that his manager was not invited and was told from the family, don't turn up because he's being investigated

into like facilitating drugs or all sorts of things. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. TikTok trend. I'm just here for the selfie. Now, apparently there is a, and Vaughan, I just heard you pronounce it off air. And I think you did such an exquisite job. I'm going to get you to say it.

My exquisite Italian. Exquisite because there is a place in Italy that used to be a hidden gem and has blown up people travelling there because there's a great selfie that you can take. You take it into a mirror, right, and the mirror reflects the entire fresco. Which is the painting on the ceiling.

The ceiling painting. Oh, okay. Of Sciaissa di Sant'Igizano di Llorio. God, your Italian is flawless. It's really coming along. It really is. It's a beautiful language to hear. To you I say grazie.

Grazie, patsy. That's so good. I was actually in Italy, fortunate enough to be in Italy for about eight or nine, ten days this year. As was I. And that was like the locals. Thank you, thank you. Actually, that just really took me right back. I don't do the accent anymore.

Yeah, okay, right. Wow, bonjourno, bonjourno, my dude. So people are going, I mean, obviously it's different if you live in Europe or the UK or whatever. It's a cheap flight. It costs you like negative $10 to get there. But people are going just out of their way to this tiny town just for a photo.

You've got to think, though, like, from the time I started travelling, when I was, like, 16, till now, like, social media has become such a major thing. Yeah. And sharing all these great curated photos of your life. So, of course, more people are travelling to these idyllic things just to get the snap. And there's, like, key snaps that people get,

like, of this location doing this thing yeah our lame version used to be pushing the tower of pisa like this oh it's people are still people are still doing that yeah i know but that was the oh that was the key photo that if you went to pisa yeah you had to get that photo or you stand far away from the eiffel tower and pretend to be like you're picking it up really understood well no because it's funny because you're holding the whole look look how massive i am how tiny the tower is but that's not how i pick it up i do tower and pretend to be holding it, which I've never really understood. Well no, because it's funny because you're holding the whole tower. Look how massive I am, how tiny the tower is. That's not how I pick it up, I pick it up from the bottom.

I do like the pictures on the salt flats when people do that. Ah yeah, where one person's close and one person's far away. But those are sort of like, now they feel a bit bloody tacky and old and now all the younger generation of TikTokers and whatnot whatnot they're getting these

really awesome cool photos but it is it's confronting when you go to these places because you see the lines people line up to take these photos and it's quite sad you're just like oh yeah i'm part of this what are we here for we're here to have an adventure or we're here to just get the pic anyway look we've all been guilty of it oh 100 you know you you've you've maybe you've planned a nice trip, but you're like, we have to go to this one spot. We've got a trek out there today. It doesn't even need to be going to Europe or overseas.

It's like cool waterfall hikes in New Zealand. Oh, God, yeah. The lookout point that looks over New Chums. Now, I see so many people, especially young women, who look miserable hiking their ass across those rocks to get to New Charms just to get up there to take a photo and turn around and go hiking. Roy's Peak just out of Wanaka? Yeah. Don't tell me

everybody's walking up there. Oh, no one's happy walking up there. And not stopping for a picture of the zigzag road. Well, this is what we want to know. Where did you travel just to get the pic? Because, I don't know. I feel like people would go out of their way, especially for things like Instagram to be like, Did you go all the way to Bali just to get a photo on a swing?

Yeah. We've got swings in New Zealand. Not the same. Not the same. I've got to go to Bali and get the Bali swing. I mean, I'm definitely guilty of it. I've seen photos on Instagram and be like, that would be a cool place to go.

Yeah, totally. But I'm not going just to get that photo or even to get that photo. You kind of are. You kind of are, totally. But I'm not going just to get that photo or even to get that photo. You kind of are. You kind of are, though. You're taking a little day trip really to get the photo. And if you don't get the photo, you'd be disappointed. Yeah. Okay, well, wherever it is, if it's in New Zealand,

it was a great spot, or overseas, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. You can text through 9696. Where did you travel just for the picture? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We would like to know where you travelled just to get the picture. Apparently a lot of people doing this on TikTok.

I'm just here for the selfie is the comment. And one in particular is this mirror in a church of Chiesa di Sant'Iganzio della Iola. Nailed it. Perfect. N nailed it. Where you take a photo in the mirror

and then you see the whole Alfresco roof and it's beautiful. Do you find though, travelling around, you see when towns try to make an Instagram bait thing, like big letters, but the big letters are all a bit wonky and yuck. A bit shit, yeah, I know. And there's no view behind the big letters.

It's like, oh, I can see what you're doing here. Filthy beach, shit. Yeah, I know. And there's no view behind the big letters. It's like, oh, I can see. Some sort of hazy. I can see what you're doing here. Filthy beach. Yeah. Yeah. It's like everywhere in Bali, there's the famous Bali swing where you get the photo. But then you've got Bali now and everywhere's got its big swing.

Southeast Asia's good at that. If something becomes a photo op, everybody's like, well, we'll make our one. We'll get a swing. Photo frames, swings. Yeah, big photo frames, swings, big letters. All kinds. We'll get a swing. Photo frames, swings, all kinds. Yeah, we're being Instagram baited everywhere we travel now. Charlotte, where did you go just for the

photo? Charlotte. Hi. Good morning. Where did you go just for the photo? Morning. We went up to Cape Reinga from the Kadikadi Peninsula, which is like a two and a half houranga from the Karikari Peninsula, which is like a two and a half hour drive from the Karikari Peninsula.

Yeah. We were there for a wedding and didn't kind of realise how far away it was. Managed to go up and back the day of the wedding. Oh my God. And then had like half an hour to get ready before the service. No! Just for the photo. Yeah, the lighthouse and the, you know, the seas clashing. Yeah, it's a lighthouse and the, you know, the sea's clashing and all that kind of stuff.

Oh, it's beautiful. It is always, I mean, it's a long drive up there. Yeah, but it's so worth it. It's so much better than you think.

And then you also have, you wouldn't have had time to go on the sand dunes. Nah. No, because you can rent the, you can rent the boogie boards. She had a wedding

that afternoon. Oh. But yeah, so you, but you were like, boogie boards. She had a wedding that afternoon. Oh. But yeah, so you were like, well, we can't go back now because we have to get the photo. Yeah, exactly. And you kind of, yeah. We got like a parma pie on the way up and it was delicious. Did you look, parma pie? We were there for like 20 minutes.

Did you look a bit rough at the wedding as a result? Like kind of rushed here? You're like, I'll just shove it in a bun? No, well, I went for a swim at the beach before we went and this beach did my hair for me. Oh, beautiful sand waves. I love that.

Oh, nice, Charlotte. Thank you. Anonymous, where did you go just for the photo? Hi, I'm actually Mel. I just panicked. Mel?

I want you to know you're in a safe place with some friends here. We're all friends. I'm a long, long time listener. First time caller. Oh, Mel. I picked up the bell before.

I just felt. But we do give people the chance to be anonymous because sometimes they have a nice juicy story. Like, I don't know, someone cheated or someone. I just thought my kids would be shamed. Oh, no. You know what? Shame on them. They should be ashamed of themselves for ever being shamed. They should be like, man, I've got to call mum. She listens to ZM. Yeah, no. You know what? Shame on them. Shame on them. They should be ashamed of themselves for ever being shamed.

They should be like, man, I've got to call mum. She listens to ZM. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Mel, where did you go just for the photo? So my partner and I drove across America to every welcome to sign just to get our picture with it. Like, welcome to Texas.

Welcome to. Welcome to Las Vegas. Oh, my God Texas. Welcome to... Welcome to Las Vegas. Oh, my God. Amazing. Wow. That would be cool. Yeah, if I was still in the camera, in the phone,

we've never done anything with him. No, you'll find that's 90% of any photo you ever take. You take it the time being like, I'd love to see this again and you'll never look at it again. You need to get one, Mel, you need to get one of those

like grid photo frames that holds like 20 photos, print them out and then put them all in. It'll look so good. Or a digital photo frame that just shuffles through them all. Rotates. See, that's what your kids need to get you for Christmas.

The thing is, we just look like a couple of old boomers who didn't know how to take selfies. It's awesome. You're travelling across America, man. That makes it even better. It does. Were you doing towns or just states?

States, mainly. Oh, no. Well, I don't know the difference in America, so it was just whatever sign we came to. Right, anyone you saw. Did you have a favourite? Was there a favourite that you pulled up to? Probably, we cheated on one.

You had to walk up a big lot of stairs to get to it, but they had a smaller one at the bottom, so we just used that. America, right? America. That's why we like you, Mel. You're a woman after our own heart. It was 33 degrees and we thought, nah. Mel, thank you very much for calling. Call back anytime. Justin, you actually ran a photo, a place that was beloved by Instagrammers. Yeah.

So we had a food truck and we were down in Wellington. So I didn't actually personally travel anywhere, but we had a huge line for this Instagrammable cookie cone ice cream. Right. Cookie cone ice cream. Right. Cookie cone ice cream. Yum. Yeah.

And it was basically this girl had waited in line for over an hour, got the cone, took a photo for Instagram, didn't even taste or even lick the ice cream and it went straight in the bin.

Shut up. Oh my God. So people were travelling to get to the food truck and then waiting in line just so they could hold a cone up to what, the Wellington coastline? Or just

themselves. Themselves with your viral ice cream. No, she was by herself. So she just got a selfie with again, we will reiterate, the cookie-coned ice cream. Yum. Yum.

And then dumped it. Straight in the bin. Right. Was this a regular thing? No, no, it was a limited edition thing. Right. So that's what you do. You create a viral moment, get people to take photos of it, but afterwards, eat the damn thing.

Wasteful. Very wasteful. Give it to someone else. Or of it, but afterwards, eat the damn thing. Wasteful. Very wasteful. Or give it to someone else. Or give it to the next kid in the life. Yeah. Oh, my God. I hate that. I really hate that, Justin.

Oh, yeah, that's so... We could have eaten that ice cream. I know. Justin, thank you. Some messages in. Somebody said, we were in Turkey, and I asked my partner to take a slight detour to see the white terraces at Pumakale,

which ultimately cost us eight hours extra driving. No one was happy at me, but I've looked up these terraces, and they are just amazing. Yeah. They're what I imagine our pink and whites were like before the Tatawera eruption in the late 1800s. That'd be a great selfie,

our pink and white terraces. Nobody knows when you post that photo that there was eight hours of driving behind it. Exactly. They just think, oh, you're so lucky. Yeah. You're like, we had such a huge fight in the car. There and back.

There and back. Still going, actually. He still brings it up. That just sums up the Grand Canyon, really. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the same thing. It's like. Pull in here.

Yeah. Someone said, watched a Bollywood movie, fell in love with the northern part of India, so risked life and limb to get some epic shots. Pinterest also sent me on a mission to get a picture of this cool tree up the hills in North India. Great memories, though. It does look beautiful in the north of India. Yeah, I'd love to do a big trip around India.

I'm Shelly messaging, and if someone dares say it's the top of the mountain, I'm absolutely done. They don't need to say it because it's so well established. They only went up there for the photo. But you see some people struggling up the mountain, and you're like, they're only doing it for this photo. And then to do a cute little active wear photo, be like, fitness on holiday.

And their mood has instantly changed for that photo. They come down, they're like, it wasn't that good. Someone said Glen Orkey in front of the little shed. Yes. That says Glen Orkey on it. Everybody goes out for the photo and they're like, oh, not too much else happens out here. No.

Beautiful though. What about the Church of the Good Shepherd in Tekapore? Yeah. How many Catholics are actually going? Is that a Catholic church? None. I think so. Okay.

Yeah. I think so. Sure, aren't the Anglicans? Well, I've been to a Catholic wedding in there. Oh, okay. So maybe I... So that's my only assumption. Maybe.

Travelled to the Whitsundays and spent a fortune because I wanted a picture at Whitehaven Beach after seeing it all over Instagram. Oh, yeah. Orohia messaged in. First time text. I did an OE across Europe for seven weeks. Went to Santorini just to get a photo in front of those three beautiful

blue top buildings. Along with a million other people. That's what she said. Great photo, but what you don't see is the line, the 20-minute line of everybody else taking exactly the same photo. And when everybody takes more than one, everyone in the line starts like, sighing loudly.

You've got to be with that friend that's good at taking photos, which is me. I'm that friend. Someone said, hiked my ass up to the old part of the Great Wall of China, of course. Nearly killed me. But the photo was worth it. Then went as fast as I could on the wobbliest of legs because we had a bus that we couldn't miss all the way

down to where the luge was to ride that down and I couldn't walk for days afterwards. They put a luge from the Great Wall? Yeah, to escape the Mongolians.

It's very long. Is that how they got escaped the Mongolians? Quickly, it's just a luge. Yeah, have you not seen Mulan? But did they have to buy a three pass or a five pass? Yeah, concession pass

unless they were part of the Chinese National Army. Right. And they had a sort of a as many times as you want to warn the people about the Mongolian hordes getting their way. No skyline had been around that long. Yeah. Forever.

Travelled to Rottnest Island for a selfie with a quokka. Oh, that is, I've been there. Nice. And again, I went there because of the quokkas. But that's the reason anyone goes. It's beautiful though. Went to Phi Phi in Thailand, famous beach from the movie called The Beach. But it's rubbish now, isn't it?

Well, they closed it for years. Yeah, because it got a bit rough. Got trashed. We ruined it. Peek and Wanaka started the walk at 3am for that sunrise pic. Got there in time, no lines. Shame I don't have an Instagram husband, though,

because the photo's not very good. Oh, I know. Erin's so bad at taking photos. She's got an Erin. Yeah. You've got to take one of them. You work my angles, got an errand yeah you've got to take one of them you work my angles bro yeah you've got to

take one of them and then show them to make it the same but even then they can't do that angle me to the side or put me here or da da da da

don't zoom you see the photos of the fingers of doom pinching in don't zoom dude I'll do it later you do a digital zoom later on

sort of a crop situation yeah I drove three hours from the Isle of Skye to Loch Ness in Scotland just to get a photo at the Loch Village. Those who have been before, yes, very well aware there's not much there. And the monster won't pop out for a photo.

And also no monster. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Yesterday, you may remember I talked about, did I talk about it on the air or on the podcast that I went to my daughter's school and gave an inspirational speech? I think a bit of both. I think we talked about it on the air,

that you were inspiring young people. Yeah, yeah. They're doing a unit this term on creating content, but not like they're not content creators. Oh, God, are we just going to have more content creators? Is this, oh. No. Is everyone going to be one?

That's an aspect of it. But it's not just like hey guys, today I'm doing that. To take a poop. Some of the kids are doing blogs and vlogs. And starting off with Drunk Elephant concealer. Cartoons and comic books

and stuff like that. And so they organised a trip to come in here to work yesterday. Because we create content. We're creating content right now. Right now. We are creating content about kids creating content. Content content. Wow.

That's meta, babes. So they told me they were going to be in here at 11.30. So we had some stuff after work, but then you guys left. Okay. Well, we were entitled to leave. And I stayed on. Wow. I stayed on and, you know, showed them around the studio here,

showed them what all the buttons did. You don't know what the buttons do. I know what the buttons do. You are Shannon and Carwen. Shannon and Carwen, you witnessed Vaughan showing the youth around yesterday. How was that? Oh, it was so fun. It was so cute to watch Vaughan be like, look, this is me touching buttons.

He doesn't do that. I didn't know you had a login. No, I didn't have a login. Fletch just left his logged in. That's unlike Fletch. Operating system. Yeah, it's unlike me. To be just left logged on.

I'm imagining your password's password one. Don't say it out loud. Don't say it out loud. What's wrong with you? That's a huge security breach. Buzzword one, two, three. I will say it was kind of awkward because I was editing the podcast

and I normally play it out loud and I was like, well, I can't be doing this in front of the children. Yeah, they're like 10 years old. Because we go rogue on the podcast, by the way. In the corner here, if you've recently tuned in, we've got a corner of the studio

with a couple of chairs. It's the Go F Yourself corner and there's a sign. Oh, is that why the sign's down? And as I walked in, leading this parade of children, I was like, flick that down because Because the F is actually spelt out the full word. Do you know what's worse?

You know what's worse is actually when those children first went into the ZM office we received some mail yesterday, didn't we? Oh yeah, we did. From adult toy megastore. Oh, we did. And I'd taken some of that to the office girlies, you know, sharing is caring. Share the love. None of us had taken some of that to the office girlies, you know, sharing is caring. Share the love. None of us had thought to move that

before the children went in, so someone had to quickly shove that away. My work bag was open as they came in here, so that was fun. As they saw what you took home. But it was so cute. The kids were the same height as the table, and so I was trying to show the parents

what they looked like on camera, and you couldn't really see them. It was so cute. And did Vaughn have any inspirational words? They hit him with some pretty hard questions. Dude, one of these kids was like, how do you make words work for you? How do you answer that?

How do you make words work for you? What kind of question is that? How do you make words work for you? What did you say? Well, I said, you know, on the radio, we've got to maybe choose the words we use a little bit more wisely than if I was just having a conversation with some friends where I might swear.

Did you give them an example of how the three of us talk off-ear based on how you talk on-ear? I didn't. But one of the people in the group was my daughter who has heard us speak off-ear and then has heard us speak on-ear. So she could attest to the contrast. Yes. There's a slight change.

See if you can notice it. Yeah. And then, so how do you make your words work for you? I said that. And then I said, and also, you know, like, sometimes don't bother using big words because you'll just lose people. And then what was the other question? What do you hope to achieve every time you start talking?

What's your intention? What's your intention every time you start talking? What is your intention? I said to make people laugh. Yeah, to entertain. Yeah. That's hopefully what people are enjoying. We just used to ask celebrity guests

or people that came in to speak to us how much they got paid. How much you get paid. Do you remember, I remember a kid got dragged over the coals after the guest list for someone being like, how much are you earning?

Yeah. There was this one kid at Intermediate I always remember he would always ask and we always knew it was coming and then he got told off. Yeah, how much money do you make?

Funny. It's a valid question. As a kid though, you are like, what are you making doing a silly job like this? Yeah, after school I want to earn a job

to make lots of money to eat lollies. Yeah, they just want to know, is this it? No? Okay, I won't. At broadcasting school, so I was out of high school,

I was in tertiary education, I asked the guest if he was killing it with the ladies, and boy did I get in trouble. I was like, you must be killing it with the ladies. Is that the reason you got into radio? No. Not the reason I got into radio. To get into the gals. But he was just charming and a good looking dude

and I was just like, man, you must be hands up. I was like, yeah, yeah. Are you killing it with the ladies? Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Bet I can guess your mum's name is back. Lauren joins us. Good morning, Lauren. Good morning, team.

Vorm will ask you five questions about your mum and then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name. That's how it works. And in a game first, I believe, you got two mums. Yes, I do. So, okay, so normally if we guess mum's name, the bonus round fires off and then we guess dad's name. But with two mums, do you want to pick a mum for the first round?

Yeah, you can guess my biological mum. Okay. That's her name. Okay, right. The woman from whence you were birthed. Yeah. The woman from whose womb thou sproutest. Right.

Now, because you have guessed, in bonus rounds, it has happened that you've guessed mum and dad's name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A Joe in there or something. Yeah, you're going to have all these mum's names at the ready. If you get them to the bonus round. If you get them to the bonus round. I'm excited for this.

This is the first time ever. Okay, so my first question. A bit of a, oh, hold on. You've got to, are you just earthing? He's just earthing. He shows off. Sorry, Lauren. Do you want to get a hum from Lauren?

Might get a hum from you, Lauren, if you could. Yeah, sure, hold on. You start, I'll join. Shall I hum too? Oh, that felt good. Okay, so you're now connected to, I believe, the psychic world. The vibratos. Yeah, okay, great.

As we say in Latin. Gorgeous. The language of psychics. What is mum's age? Mum is 52. 52. For a young mum? We've got a 19.

Young mum? Could be a Jennifer. Could have been a teenage pregnancy. Could be a Tina. Could be a Tina. Could be a Tina. 1972, am I right?

Have I done the maths right there? 52. That's correct. Rachel. 52. Rachel. Rachel feels off

for some reason we're just feeling like Rachel Hunter how old is Rachel Hunter Nicola Nicola might be a bit no but Nicola Willis

Nicola Willis is 42 she's my age she's Vaughan's age we all lost our minds didn't we remember that yeah when we

stopped mentioning it because it is still deeply offensive for Nicola we were shocked at how young she is yeah no just because she's accomplished something authority authoritarian authoritarian because it is still deeply offensive for Nicola. We were shocked at how young she is. No, just because she's accomplished something.

Authority. She's an authoritarian. Michelle. Oh, Michelle's not. We are moving into Michelle territory. Yeah. I'd also put a cheeky... Xena. Nope.

I'd put a cheeky dollar on her name being Louise or at least her middle name being Louise. Oh, yeah. Because I want to ask with Lauren's mum being gay, are you leaning towards a gay name or do you think... Oh, what? Names can be gay now, Hayley? 100%.

That's not very modern of you. No, that's... There's definitely some gay names. Go on then. I dare you. Yeah, try. Bron. Bron. Bron. Yeah, try. Bron. Bron.

Tell me, Bron's not a lesbian? Bron. I mean, there's probably a lesbian called Bron. Probably. But there's many, I know, straight women called Bron. No, you're right. Yeah. I was just, when you said Xena, I was like, we think Xena, we think, you know, gay icon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Donna. Again, that's not a gay name. I'm just going with names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Donna. Again, that's not a gay name. I'm just going with names. I don't see. I don't see. Don't get me wrong. I praise, but I don't see. Yeah. Have we just stumbled across an inspirational quote?

I praise, but I don't see. Sounds religious, but I'm talking about lesbians. The calendar's already locked off. Okay, that's already locked off. Chuck that on next year's calendar. Julie in there. Julie, okay, good, yeah. Julie in there.

Okay, who's mum's favourite celebrity, sorry, mum's favourite musical artist? Oh, she listens to a lot of Nora Jones. Oh! A woman of my own heart! This is one of the lesbians love you, but when you love Nora Jones, you're a pillar of the lesbian community,

Vaughn. Andrea. I had no idea. Interesting. Nora Jones still making music? Yeah, I think so. But Lauren, does mum like the classic Nora?

Yeah, like the CDs we had in the car growing up. Yeah, Nora. Don't know why. Don't know why, but I've changed to capital letters. I was writing in a mix of uppercase and uppercase. Don't interrupt the spirit. Whatever the spirit tells you to do. I don't know what's happened to you.

You do it. Do I have a Susan yet? Because that's going on the list. Someone's texting surely a Tracy. I don't have a Tracy on the list. You do it. Do I have a Susan yet? Because that's going on the list. Someone's texting surely a Tracy. I don't have a Tracy on the list. I'm happy to put it there. Tracy, yeah. Do it.

Okay, next question. What are mum's siblings' names? Oh, so she's got two brothers, Roger and... Oh. Are you forgetting... Okay. They live overseas, okay? Give me a break. Give me a break.

Give me a break. She's got a sister called Ainsley. Ainsley. Interesting. I like that name. McDonald's Young Entertainer Ainsley Allen. Ainsley Allen. No.

It's not Auntie Ainsley. But it is Auntie Ainsley, but not, of course, Ainsley Allen. Ainsley. Has that thrown you a bit? Because you've got quite traditional names. Yeah, it has. And that's a bit different, isn't it? Ainsley but not of course Ainsley. Ainsley. Has that thrown you a bit because you've got quite traditional names and that's a bit different isn't it? Ainsley's a bit of a spicy name.

It has tossed my salad I might chuck a venison on there. But Rodger's classic as well so. Yeah. I know. Nana and Papa were all over the show.

Have you got a Paula? I don't have a It's kind of came to me there. I don't have a Paula. Kim? Kim? Oh yeah that's yeah that's that vintage too. It's that vintage eh in the 50s now. Kim's. Kim's Kim? Oh, yeah, that's, yeah. That's that vintage, too.

It's that vintage, eh? In the 50s now. Kims. All Kims in their 50s. Next question, Vaughan. I see Kim, and I don't want to be caught up by saying Kimberley. If she's not a Kimberley. Are all Kimberleys Kims?

I think all Kimberleys are Kims. Okay, mum's celebrity crush. Oh, Jennifer Garner. Wow. Good arms. Very quick. Jennifer Garner's had great arms from day dot. Forever.

So sensible too. Her and Alias. Yes. Alias, Jennifer Garner. Is that what turned mum? Do you think that was the straw that broke the camel's back for mum? I don't know about that. Maybe. It certainly helped though, right? It didn't hinder. It didn't hurt. It didn't broke the camel's back for mum? I don't know about that. Maybe.

It certainly helped though, right? It didn't hinder. It didn't hurt. It didn't hinder mum's love for the ladies. Oh, no. There's absolutely no blame attributed to mum. All of us are in love with Jennifer Garner and her arms and alias. I might go Amel.

Okay. Mel, Issa, and Mel, Annie. Melissa and Melanie. Great. Yeah, good. I might also go. You've got a lot of names there. Yeah, good. I might also go. You've got a lot of names there. Yeah, I do.

You're going to have to talk fast. And finally, what kind of car does mum drive? Mum doesn't drive a car. She drives a motorbike. Oh, my God. She always everything. How did she get you? I mean, you sound old enough to have your own way of getting around.

Oh, no, no. She used to have a Jeep, a Cherokee Jeep back in the day. Good, hot. But then, yeah, has moved on. I love she's got a motorbike. A motorbike. All the signs were there. Well, weren't they? Yeah.

All the signs were there when mum was married. Oh, this is great. Okay. What's it bringing to mind? What's that? I think Tracy's fitting right in there I can imagine a Tracy on a motorbike

100% 100% it feels like I've run out of room it feels I'm gonna go to the next page it feels like a Rochelle it feels like a

Rochelle we've got a Rachel but we didn't have a Rochelle follow this tether follow this tether beautiful stuff yeah magic

what are you feeling it's not a Suzanne but it's she wouldn't go by Sue because that wouldn't be, you know, right for her. Janine. Janine, you reckon? I could see Janine on a motorbike. Yeah, I can see Janine on a motorbike.

100%. You know, our friend of the show, Gillian's on a motorbike. Can you chuck a Cathy in there? Because my friend who's gay, his mum who wasn't gay, but she rode a motorcycle, so there's two sort of links there. Cathy. I've got a Catherine. No, it's got to put Cathy in there because my friend who's gay, his mum who wasn't gay but she rode a motorcycle, so there's two sort of links there, Cathy. I've got a Catherine. No, it's got to be Cathy.

Okay, I'll put a Cathy later on the list. I think Cathy's good. Cathy's on her bike. Love this. Oh, listen to that. What's that? It's Cathy coming on the bike. Okay, Lauren Vaughan now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name.

If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop. That's my mum's name. Vaughan, your time starts now. Rachel, Nicola, Michelle, Louise, Joanne. That's my mum's name. Oh my god. We just wasted so much time. Nicola. Nicola. Second name on the list. Amazing. So, wait, so the last ten minutes

or so you've just been sat there going, this is just all such a waste of time. A stereotype, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well. I think it was the hum of the earth. Yeah, you really did.

Well, this has. I know we're not allowed to ask a question, but I want to ask if we've already said other mum's name. Oh, what are the rules? This is new game.

No, it might have been a bit of muddled energy. We have now triggered the bonus round. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a bit of muddled energy. We have now triggered the bonus round. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing. Yep, other mum's name. You're really good.

Really good. Because obviously we've never recorded other mum's name. No. As an option there. Now, Lauren. Really opened our eyes to a non-traditional. Vaughan is going to have a guess now at your other mum's name. Nicola and

Sue. Oh my god! Did you say Sue as well? In my head I was like, it's Nic and Sue. Nic and Sue. Nicola and Sue. I know, Sue came immediately to me. I don't know why it came immediately. It came immediately to me, but I'm not the psychic. Vaughan, this is you. Yeah. But Sue came straight to me. I just don't answer any of these questions. But it could be Kim.

Lauren. You've got a friend. Do you guys I do. Who's Kim? Who's a lesbian? It's a sign. We can't just go through our lesbian friends. Oh, is it Nick and Ursula Carlson? You know, we can't just run through them. Um. Sue came straight to me. Well, Vaughan, you've

got to guess one mum's name. If you can do that, Lauren will win an extra $100. We can't ask. Do you feel like they're the same age? In the room, don't ask. Do you guys feel like they're the mums of a similar age or is it one of those situations where there's an older and a younger?

Significantly older and younger. No, I reckon similar. You reckon they're a similar age? I think similar. Okay. Oh, Lauren. Julie. Julie.

Julie and Nicola. I mean, same vintage. Nick and Jules. Nick and Jules! That's a top twin name too. And she's a lesbian. There are lesbian names, Hayley. I apologise.

Okay, Vaughan, I need you to lock in. Jules. Julie. If it's Sue though, you're buying us a coffee. Julie. Yeah, you are. Julie. Yep.

Julie. Lauren. Lauren, what is your other mum's name? We're very close, but her name is Jill. Jill! Oh, my God. Jules is so close. I'm sorry, other mum.

Unfortunately, that was fine. Because Julie was on the list of names we said. Jill wasn't, though. I said, okay, I said Jillian. Yeah, you're close. Is Jill short for Jillian, do you know? I think so. I don't think her full name is Jill.

Okay. Interesting. I'm not trying to claim a win. I'm just saying it was on the list. That was fun. The first time we've ever done two mums. 100 bucks. 100 bucks, Lauren.

Congratulations. Well done. Thank you, team. And our love to the mums. Also, Fletchnicks, don't say first time we've done two mums. I know. When I said it, immediately I was like, oh, no. We could have just ignored that.

We could have just ignored that. We also could have just ignored that as well. Moved on. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. I have been going through somewhat of some desirable changes, let's just say. Some available for air and some available just for my friends Fletch and Vaughan who are privy to all of it.

One of them was I was going to buy a 1970s convertible that I couldn't afford. You were never going to buy this because you can't afford it. I can't afford it, nor could I afford to maintain it, but it was an image thing. It's important to have dreams. Yes. It's important to have dreams. Yes. It is important to have dreams.

I've also been, no, I can't say that one on air. And that one's just for you guys. But one of them that popped into my head yesterday is sort of a reinvention and a way to remind people that I'm young, hip and funky. Right.

Again, all of these things, even the ones you can't mention on air, are all pointing to a midlife crisis. Yes, and you said you're having so all of these things, even the ones you can't mention on here, all pointing to a midlife crisis. Yes and you said you're having so many of these recently it should be a segment on radio called maybe she's born with it or maybe maybe it's a midlife crisis as opposed to the

Maybelline theme song which Vaughan I believe you you have, very famous theme song No I don't. Oh you don't have it? No we were trying to find a decent quality one and it was such a bad quality I opted out of. Maybe it's Maybelline. I'll just sing it because I'm a singer., you don't have it? No, we were trying to find a decent quality one. And it was such a bad quality, I opted out of it. Maybe it's Maybelline. I'll just sing it because I'm a singer. Maybe she's born with it.

Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe it's Maybelline. Okay, this was my thought yesterday. But instead of Maybelline, it would say maybe it's a... Maybe it's a midlife crisis. Yeah. Okay, great. Okay, so here was my thought yesterday. Between the ages of 16 and 27, I had a nose piercing.

Whereabouts in the nose? There. Okay. In the middle, just the traditional. Septum wasn't fashionable in 2006. Septum wasn't fashionable in 2006. I got my nose pierced. Do you think sometimes that's hot? The septum? Yeah.

On a woman with short hair, lots of tattoos and quite boyish. Yes, it is. Do you know I walked past a very attractive boyish lesbian yesterday? I crossed paths with her through a park. All right, mate, get it together. Jesus.

I literally had my headphones in as I was walking past, and I said out loud, God, that's nice. Isn't that terrible? Isn't that terrible? Your inner monologue came out. Came out, okay. I just looked, and she had these tattoos up her legs, and I was like, God, that's nice.

God, I hope she didn't hear it. Anyway, maybe this is what awoken me, the desire to sort of get back to my alternative roots was seeing this tattooed woman. So I had a nose piercing from 16 to 27, and the thought popped into my head, and then I took it out because I was like, grow up. And I kept on having to take it in and out for things, and I was like, ugh, I can't be bothered. I took it out, and I had a bit of a crisis when I took it out because I was like, grow up. Yeah. And I kept on having to take it in and out for things and I was like,

I can't be bothered. I took it out and I had a bit of a crisis when I took it out because I remember thinking, how are people going to know that I'm cool? They don't have my nose ring. Yeah. I had a thought yesterday that maybe I'll check to see if it's still open. I'm 35 now so it's been out for eight years. It will be scar

tissue. Yeah, but I could ram something through it and I'd have my cool nose ring back. But would it hurt more? Yeah, it'll be scar tissue. Yeah, but I could ram something through it. I don't have my cool nose ring back. But would it hurt more? Yeah, it'll be really thick. Yeah, it'll be thick. But you can still see the hole still there. Like on the outside, it's still there. And that hasn't like healed perfectly.

And that still looks like I could get something through. And I'm considering this afternoon just shoving a needle through it and seeing what happens. No. I'll hit it up. When you took out your Prince Albert, how long did that take to? I've still got quite the scar. And same with my flesh tunnels.

They haven't closed over. Yeah, yeah. People don't see it because they see videos of you in studio, but you've always got your earmuffs on, but yeah, your flesh tunnels. I've only got saggy cat buttholes. Yeah, I've got saggy cat buttholes because I thought flesh tunnels were cool. When you were straight edge and you were doing all that. Yeah. I don't know.

It's just a thought that's popped into my head. Where are you? You know that I'm feeling impulsive at the moment. Yes. Getting tattoos and whatnot. Well, it's a midlife crisis. It's not a midlife crisis. Maybe she's born with it.

Maybe it's just. A midlife crisis. A need to remind people that I'm funky, hip and cool and young. Stay tuned because I might. I might. Why not? But you'll get it done properly No, if it's open

It'll just be open It might be It's been out for as long as it was in But it suited, it looked cool I looked really good with it Yeah, really hot Trust me Are you hoping there's no species that's going to do some heavy lifting?

Yeah You know it's not like a magic It's not a magic solution Trust me Are you hoping This nose piercing Is going to do Some heavy lifting Yeah yeah yeah Yeah because You know it's not Like a magic It's not a magic Solution Remember last year How I dyed my hair blonde

And you were like Why are you doing that And I was like Because that's the last time That I thought I was hot Right Was when I had blonde hair And then you went back to brown

And then it didn't really Do anything And I didn't notice Any difference Yeah Yeah so maybe the nose piercing Will just drop me back Into the hottest

Version of myself Okay Stay tuned Good luck. Thank you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Time for... Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day.

Today's, it's Moon Week here at Fact of the Day. Loving it. And you may be familiar with the fact that the moon is moving away from Earth. We're losing our grasp on the moon. Now, NASA fired a ton of laser beams. Frickin of laser beams freaking laser beams at a reflector on the moon the size of a paperback novel now you've got to admit that's pretty impressive at that distance to hit to hit that there's a little reflector point on the moon yeah i watched a thing yesterday about the moon and some stupid influencer was saying like um about the, which we've never been on the moon.

And then this scientist came in and was like, okay, explain all this. And one of them was the little reflectors that they put on the moon so that we were able to see things for it to bounce off. Yeah. So they- You just land there. And it's the size of a paperback book,

which generally, what would you say, A5? Max. Yeah. Yeah. It's just plopped there on the moon and we can shoot a laser. Is it like a mirror? Yeah, it's like a mirror, like a reflective thing. That's cool. So using that, they figured out that we're like 385,000

kilometres away. That's how far the laser had to go to get there and then the same to get back. And they've been studying it and shooting the laser ongoing, ongoing, ongoing. It has been revealed that the amount of distance that the moon is moving away from the earth at is the same speed at which our fingernails grow. Approximately 3.8 centimetres to 4 centimetres a year. Slow. Yeah.

So is that affecting like tides and stuff? It will over hundreds of thousands of years, but certainly not in our lifetime. Right. I like to think we're probably going to write this place off before the moon. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we'll be out of here. And it doesn't affect.

But the tides would be less because it's moving further away, so it would have less effect on the tides. The tides would become less of a thing. Okay. Over time. But, yeah, it's just so when your fingernails grow and you bite them or cut them or file them, however you choose to take them down before indoor netball. Yeah. Or outdoor netball, as it turns out. I you choose to take them down before indoor netball.

Yeah. Or outdoor netball, as it turns out. I'll just give mine a two before we go on. Give it a quick two. Rip them off. Oh, shit, I forgot. And when you're spitting that thing onto the ground, that's how fast the moon is moving away from Earth.

Uh-huh. So today's fact of the day. Crazy. Quick recap. The moon is moving away from Earth at the same speed that your fingernails grow. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. A man named Sean Miller was flying home to Pennsylvania

from South Carolina in September 2024 when the hot water that was being brought to him for a cup of tea spilt straight into his crotch. He is now suing the airline. Fire crotch. For amongst many things Fire Crotch Sheesh

Sheep I haven't heard Fire Crotch for a long time The some of the things he said from the he said his penis has been disfigured

Oh no Significant decreased sensation in the penis Oh my god Sexual dysfunction PTSD and other psychological maladies

Malays M-A-L-A-D-I-S Melodies Melodies PTSD and other psychological maladies? Malays. M-A-L-A-D-I-S. Maladies, but not like the song. Not like la-la-la-la. Embarrassment and lack of self-esteem. And there's a whole bunch of medical terms that I won't bore you with. I'm a qualified doctor, so I would say it as Hayley, but I'm worried we'd leave Fletch behind.

He'd just lose interest because he can't keep up. Just because I'm the only one here that didn't go to medical school. I know, it's so stupid. Yeah. This is classic American suing to get the money, right? Yeah, because there's no ACC-esque type system where you'll be looked after. Will he have to supply and...

Will he have to... Grow up. Willie have to provide photographic evidence of the disfigurement of his penis in the court to prove the extent of the damage. If he doesn't, he's going to get shafted. He'll get absolutely shafted.

Yeah. Well, this is what we want to ask this morning is because this must happen all the time. I think like, especially on a plane, because there's turbulence. Oh, yeah. It's bumpy. It would be my worst nightmare,

and that would be my worst job to have, because I just could not deal with spilling stuff on the stairs. I make a coffee here in the kitchenette, which is, what, 25 steps from the studio? And I'm always like, whoop, watch out, I'm spilling. Yeah. I worked hospo in a cafe,

and I spilled a full hot long black on a man. He was definitely upset, but he didn't sue me for, you know, penis disfigurement. Yeah. Shannon, you worked in hospo. Did you spill anything? Yeah. The worst was we had a really bratty kid and I remember they stabbed a steak knife into our table.

What a loser. And I was like, how dare you? And the parents said nothing. I was carrying a full tray of beers, one hand, like good form. And the kid came over and shoved me. I dropped the whole

tray of beers. They smashed on the ground and then the kid got all berry. And finally the parents turned around and they're like, whoa, what's happened? I was like, you're a shit little kid. You just pushed me. I was stabbing my table. Oh my god, what a punk. Yeah yeah it was real naughty and yeah so beer everywhere over the kid over my uniform I smelled horrible

yeah it was embarrassing this is what we want to know when did you spill something on someone yeah I saw a reel the other day of some lady that got up just to get out leave the table and someone was bringing a cake just over her head, and it was just the timing.

Oh, yeah. Straight into the kitchen. Put the cake all over this guy next to her. Oh, my gosh. I mean, it was a funny video, funny stuff. Yeah, we love to laugh. But when you're the one doing it, it's not funny at the time. No.

Maybe you've been in a food court, and you've spilt your tray over someone, because those trays are slippery. Great. Paint, maybe at a work site, you know, if you were like working on a work site, having a little paint of the house. Okay, 0800 DALZM. We want to take your calls now. Text through 9696.

When did you spill something on someone or have something spilt on you? ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. A man is suing an airline in America because he's got tea all over his crotch. Fire crotch, I think you call that. Hot tea. And apparently there's disfigurement. There's member

disfigurement. There's member and PTSD and everything. So that's in court at the moment. But we want to know now if you've spilt something over somebody or you've had something spilt over you. Plenty of you have. So many people working in hospital and taking,

oh, it's so, when you hear a glass break at a restaurant or a bar and everyone's like, Dirty, ooh. Dude, I love when a thing of dirty plates gets thrown. Smash, smash, smash, smash. No, because it's got food on it. It cushions the sound. Yeah, I love it.

And there's some forks in there. Oh, my God. We're changing. Jen, what did you spell? Well, I spelt a full-blown berry smoothie all over my one-month baby. How? I don't know.

I just got a little bit enthusiastic. Like, he was asleep. I went and made the smoothie, came back and sat down and just had, like, a full whoopsie, knocked it all over him, and then he, like, woke up, was full screaming, purple head to toe. I was so mortified that I, like, forgot to take photos.

But now it's hilarious. Yeah. Was the baby stained purple? He was. And so was the bed he was sleeping on. It was a bit of a nightmare. Luckily, my mum was there. That baby grew up to be grimace.

Yeah. So good things do come. That's right. Purple babies. Jen, thank you. Natalia, when did you spill something on someone? It wasn't technically a spill. My parents decided to have a fight at a big to-do party at a very, very posh restaurant.

I can't remember if Dad threw the first lot of food or if Mum threw the first lot of food. Wait a minute. What? They had a food fight? It turned into 30 people pigging food across the tables. What? In a fancy restaurant? Everyone else around.

I'm 52 now and I was 18 at the time. I just joined in with Glee and everyone else got landed with food. And we were just pigging food at each other. Why? How do you go from arguing with your wife or your husband and wife

arguing to going, you know what David? Actually Rodney and Diane is the name. Are they still together now? No. How? I was going to say. I think if your marriage

is at the part where at a flash restaurant you'll have an all out food fight There was lobsters. I think if your marriage is at the part where in a flash restaurant you'll have an all-out food fight, pray you get me done. There was lobsters. There was crabs. There was really expensive food. I'm telling you now, it was a posh restaurant. Oh, my God. That's insane.

Natalia, I love this so much. And then people just joined in. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. No, you didn't have the K, so that's excusable. Yeah, far out they did. Far out. Yeah, far out. Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, you didn't hit the K, so that's excusable. Yeah, far out they did. Far out, yeah. Yeah, far out they did.

And I loved every second of it, and I joined in. Is the restaurant still around? No, they were broke. Can I ask? They were broke because everyone kept throwing all the crayfish. Who cleaned up? No, because their marriage broke up and the restaurant separated, but that was another story.

Wait, who cleaned up the restaurant? Did the staff come out and be like, stop this malarkey? No, they had to. Oh, I don't remember. I just remember it was just a big to-do and a big hoo-ha. Your parents didn't own the restaurant, did they? No, their friends did. Oh, right.

Because you said they split up and I thought you meant your parents. Natalia, what a wild... We've already done Caller of the Week. Surely we can do two. Did we do one last week? We can find it.

Carl was not listening. Let's do it. We're going to make you our second Caller of the Week. Because that's so good, Natalia. We'll hook you up a $50 voucher. Thanks to our friends

at McCafe. No going in there and throwing some paninis across the room either. Behave yourself. You behave yourself. No, only lobst throwing some paninis across the room. Behave yourself. You behave yourself. No, only lobsters. Yeah.

She only hips lobsters. So many texts and calls. We'll get to more of those next. When you've accidentally spilled something. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Some of them are so good.

Some of them are so good. These ones make me cringe though. I don't know if this counts but I fell asleep with a hot water bottle on my tummy and woke up with third-degree burns, and I'd spilt the... Oh, come on, done. Yeah. Okay.

Somebody said I was talking to a female CEO at a very flash charity do it, St. Matthew's. Oh, St. Matthew's. They're lovely, darling. So I went to have a sip of my red wine, and as I took it away, I cough-sneezed into the glass and just blew red wine all up into this woman's face and hair. I thought they were going to say they miss their mouth

because sometimes you miss your mouth. When you're talking and you're like, man, I really want a drink. And you're like, I don't want to look at the drink because it's going to make it feel like I nearly knew this shit. And you miss it. That's the worst. I work in a retirement village. A nurse came around a corner a little too fast,

Tokyo Drift style. Yeah. And I got covered in an old maid Frank's half-digested lunch. So did Frank have a chunny as he came around the corner? Oh, must have. I love slopped some barbecue sauce from a bacon buddy onto my baby who was on a carrier on my chest. The baby Bjorn.

You've got to be careful. You've almost got to put a little napkin over them when you're eating. And they're in the baby Bjorn. Dropped an iced coffee all down somebody's back. Luckily, I worked at a cafe at the bottom of a hotel and he could go up and change. He was pretty good about it. Oh, hospital waiters would hate this.

Working hospital carrying a tray of drinks, got to the table and handed out the first drink. The guy at the table decided to take his drink off the tray himself. Now, I'm not prepared for the counterbalance here. Oh, no, you idiot. I mean, the tray was unbalanced. Tomato juice on the tray fell all over his elderly mother, who had a white cardigan on and white hair that stained bright red.

Hell of a mess to clean up, and mother went mental at the sun in front of everyone. So at least the mother acknowledged. So she knew that it was the sun. Yeah. That's good. Okay. I was at the Wellington Sevens years ago

putting some sauce on some hot chips from one of those massive pump tomato sauce stations. Oh, good. Carny sauce. Got it under there. Turned to talk to my mate. Whack, whack, whack, whack it three times and it turns out I was just squirting tomato sauce

all over the woman beside me who was wearing white jeans. Have you ever done that with like soap dispensers? Yeah. Or like you put your hand under them and it makes, you know when you put your thumb over the end of a hose and squirt it? Yeah, it squirts it. It squirts it on you.

Yeah, it squirts it out. Yeah. As a business class host, he was serving pre-takeoff champagne. Oh, lovely, darling. And orange juice during boarding. An economy passenger knocked me in the tray all over a business class passenger.

Glass and pulpy orange juice and champagne everywhere. Economy passenger boosted down to economy. No apology. Should never have been in the business class. No. Oh, what were they like having a nosy? Guys, we have a celebrity spillage.

Oh, got two. Back in the early 2000s, I worked at a fancy spa in the UK. Reese Witherspoon was in my town filming a movie and visited the spa I was working at. I was so nervous, tried to act like it was an everyday occurrence, having a Hollywood star, that I tripped over a rug and covered her in hot tea.

Oh, my God. She was very sweet about it and actually wrote me a lovely card. And did you know how they got the tea off, Reese? How? With a spoon. With a spoon. Ladies and gentlemen, I retire for the day. Thank you very much for joining us.

It's not getting better. No, but we need the other celebrity story. Otherwise, I would tap out there. I spilled an entire glass of red wine all over Helen Clark. Oh. I dropped, oh, I thought this was on the Foo Fighters. At the Foo Fighters. I dropped a full tray of drinks.

I dropped four full drinks on the guy in front of me at the Foo Fighters concert. No, but when you're at a concert and you're holding those trays with those four plastic cups, you're slopping everything. Half that's on the floor. Justin again. You remember Justin called in earlier today with the cookie cone story. Yeah. He said, I was at a very posh Indian restaurant wearing fresh white Air Force Ones.

You can see where this is going. Yeah. And the waiter dropped a rich curry. A turmeric one. Oh, no, that'll stain. All over the shoes. Diners at the other table who had caused the spill felt so bad they helped me clean my shoes.

But you're not getting turmeric out of some fresh ones. No, you've got to paint them yellow. Paint them yellow. Yeah, although you probably could get the rest of the curry off the floor with a spoon. Hey-o! If you like today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link.

And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.