ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 22nd April 2026

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

On Today's Big Pod, Suzy Cato is coming back! Top 6 - Names for the Nun Podcast Shannon has a doppleganger Petrol stations are asking for your keys What did Vaughan get talked into SLP - Do you box dye your hair? Liv McKenzie Interview What was the mess in the car? Hayley had an incident Advice for going on MAFS Fact of the day What did you give up for love? QLP - Are Op shops charging too much? Do you have an embarrasing PE story? Someone took a photo of Hayley See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network. This is Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands are the lowest prices. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Haley. Thank you, Susie. Good morning. Fletch Fawn and Haley, Haley broadcasting from our Sydney studios this time.

I've changed places. Yeah, I'm in Sydney. Oh, she's bougie. She's in Surrey Hills. Oh. Hosh. Nice. Gosh.

I haven't stayed in Surrey Hills before and yesterday my room wasn't ready to sit for a little walk around like the shops, the cafes, the florists. Because the gays have gentrified it, Haley. I know the gays have done such a good job. They're literally my favourite people.

They're like the, what is the force they send in first and the paratroopers? They parachute in to an old derelict neighbourhood. They invest lots of money and then everyone moves in. Yeah. Yeah.

Man, we salute them. They're just done such a fantastic job with Surrey. I was, I can't wait to explore that today. I think that's actually what Anzac Day is about on Monday. The gays. The gays. The parachuting, home decorating gays. I could be wrong.

I think you might be wrong. Okay. Yeah, I think you might wrong. That's about gilipally. Not gaelipally. Oh, yeah. Regardless, lest we forget, you know what I mean. Lest we forget what the gays did.

Less we forget when a breakfast in this neighbourhood was, affordable before the gays came in. Oh, do you know what? I could... Just fight everything and made Ed's better at $28. I cannot wait for a $50 breakfast later. Yeah, I'll put money aside.

You're going to really love their options when it comes to milk because they just don't have beef milk. They got all kinds. They got wheat milk. They got coconut milked it all. They've milked everything possible. They're out there milk in it.

The top six is on the way, Vaughan. Yeah, nuns. They can do podcasts now. None your business. That would be a great title for a nun. That would be a great podcast name. A nun's podcast. Well, actually, that's probably the better top six. The top six names for the nuns podcast

rather than the top six things would hear the nuns talk about. Because the nuns and their podcasts have gone quite viral. Yes. They're very popular. Yeah. Delving to this. You don't really hear about it anymore, and it seems such an outdated lifestyle, doesn't it? Yeah.

Swearing celibacy. In this world ram full of sex, thanks to the parachuting gays and the gays. I've got a big game, yes, yes. Next on the show, though. Guys, it's our time. I've got great news. A Kiwi legend is back, and I'm so excited. The Fletch morning, Haley, Big Pod.

It is hump day today, and we just thought the nation needed some good news to just kick off the morning, didn't we? And I just think, I just think nothing can make us happier. happier, our little millennial souls than this news here. Hiara, T'allofa. How are you, eh, ho? I am amazing, because finally I'm able to make a real song and dance out of a new project. We have a brand new series of

You and me on the way. Yes, you and me. She's back. Susie Kato's back. Where was you and me on television? I mean, I was a bit old for it, but it was a long time ago. She's a national treasure, though. It was peak me.

Peak me with her neon outfits. Do you know that the original run of you and me had 2,000 episodes? What? No, it didn't. How many minutes? The original run produced 2,000 plus episodes with a team of preschool educators. Oh no, sorry. Yes, yeah, yeah, produced 2,000 episodes.

Not 2,000 minutes. 2000 episodes Katie was 24 at the time It says on the Wikipedia It says 500 episodes And the first episode No you're right Okay

So the first episode aired in 19902 With more than 2,000 episodes Produced in the next seven years Oh my God 300 abouts episodes a year How many? Did you say 9092? Yeah 19902

See peak man Because I was three And then for seven years That's like the per Oh my God Susie She shaped you Hailey into who you And she co-parented with Patsy and Craig.

Yeah, I've got words to have with her. You've got notes? Two episodes were broadcast per day on TV3 and by 1999 the show had concluded with Cato though TV3 aired reruns. So... That is why she's a national treasure. She can't go anywhere without anyone saying,

you know, she can be in the supermarket and someone will be like, killed her. Yeah, yeah. Have you met her? Several times. And she's so... Play it cool and then you're just like, like, she just makes you feel like a kid again.

She's so lovely. She did bake-off, you know, celebrity bake-off a few years ago. And like the room couldn't handle themselves. It was like maximum celebrity presents. And then any time you ask her to sing a song, she will. Yeah, totally. She's a good sport. She order to law for.

But I would have thought if she's going to bring this show back, it's got to be for the grown-up millennials, you know? So it's only, I think it's only a couple of episodes that are going to be coming to, oh no, yeah, like a few episodes coming to YouTube of you and me, releasing new episodes, plus re-releasing the songs It's Our Time and you and me. Okay.

So, you'll be able to chuck that on your blammer and gym playlist. Do you think you look a dance remix of those? Again, for the millennials. Yeah, yeah, definitely needs to. Drop a fat beat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and me and you and me.

Add it to your gym playlist. Sorry, that's me, I'm awake. Yeah, I'm on here. Wait, you said an alarm for quarter past six. It's my like last minute, like, you know, if I missed the first half hour. I was going to say you kind of 15 minutes into the show. Maybe you should put that at 5.30, that last minute alarm. Just an idea.

Did Susie Kato not teach you anything? She didn't teach me enough and that's why she's back. Yeah. And I'm going to finish my learning. The Fletch morning, Haley, big pod. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top. Well, nuns have podcasts now. So everybody, that literally means everybody's got a podcast.

Everyone's got one. We've got one. Everybody's got a podcast. What are nun's going to talk about? It's a viral Catholic podcast. It's called Dominican Sisters Open Mic. Wait, Dominican Republic? No, Dominican.

Oh, we got brown skin? No, no, no, no. Guys, guys, guys, relax. Sorry. Unfortunately not. You said a trigger word. Yeah, yeah, I don't. Sorry, we got immediately triggered.

Dominican Sisters of Mary, the mother of the Eucharist. They're from Ann Arbor in Michigan. Oh, right. The Eucharist. Yeah, the Eucharist. Mother of the Eucharist. It was launched this year. It features weekly candid conversations with sisters and guests about faith, vocation, stories, and daily life.

Do you have a hobby? Cooking. Sister, yes. What? Sister, teach me your ways. Teach me your ways. She's so fun. You are top notch.

She sounds like Courtney Kardashian. Wait, I thought they were going to be crusty old nuns. No, they're crusty young nuns. No, there's some old, some youngers. Yeah, right. What do you call it? The diaspora. Of the...

The diaspora. Isn't that what it's called? Like a sort of a wide... The horror picture. Okay. Of the nunnery. Right, but it's gone viral. It's all over TikTok this podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sister Yars I guess people are loving it because it's a peak behind the curtain It's just not what you know about It's also apparently just like Quite nice Yeah

Like they're not excited where they were Because one of them can cook Like it's not like Like Haley They'll stop there Let's not go down that line Because we're talking about The top six names

For nons Number six on the list Wait what's their podcast called The Dominican Sisters Open mic Okay that's boring Yeah It sucks

Number six on the list Of better names for their podcast would be the real housewives of God. Yes. Brilliant. That's brilliant. Why isn't that number one? They've promised themselves to them for life.

Yeah. They're the real housewives of God. Wait, are they not, are they even allowed to marry a hot brown guy with light eyes? No. No. They're married to the hottest. I was like, certainly not.

They're even, not even, they're even, they are married to a hot brown guy with light eyes. His name's Jesus. Oh, okay. Right. He was brown. He was. He had to have been.

He just had to have been. Are you allowed to satisfy a pro two? No, Jesus. Born, bless me. Oh my God. No, I was saying, no, Jesus, please inform him. Isn't this what God would have wanted for us? Pleasure.

It's what it feels like. I'm a fan of that sort of God. I don't like the bad God, the anger of God. God just be like, chill dude. Number five on the list of the top six titles for a podcast are by Narns 4-9, strictly come praying. Oh, yeah, good. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good.

Number four on the list of the top six titles for a podcast, by nuns, four nuns. The father, the son and the holy shit, do we have some gossip? Oh, love that. Holy shame. Yeah. Do they swear? Nope.

Cussing. But then wildly like no swearing, but I remember nuns like smacking children when I was a cat. Oh, you're allowed to back then, you're allowed to. You're just viciously kind of. Yeah. But no swearing. And no touching yourself. But cross.

So I get some pleasure out of beating the shit out of children. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six titles for a podcast by nans, four nuns. Diary of an N-U-N. Oh, yeah, good. Like Diary for CEO. That's our own of the favourite podcast. I put that in there for you.

No, thank you. And the millions of other people that listen to that podcast. Yeah, they do. He's got a lovely voice, Stephen Bartlett, doesn't he's a clever boy, too. Can I ask you a question? Yes, he's very good. Just before we start. Can I ask a favour? Yes. Can I ask you a favour?

A lot of you don't follow. It really helps us If you could just click subscribe It really help us It helps us It helps us do what we do And he breaks the camera wall It's so funny

Does he say like five-star reviews Really give a long way No no no he's not bigger He doesn't be I just subscribe If I could just ask You a favour At home

In fact if you're listening now To this live radio program And you haven't Listen to our podcast Please could you Do us a huge favour and subscribe. It really helps us out.

It really helps the sound. And if you're listening on the podcast, you've obviously found the podcast. Just click that button. Just click subscribe. I know. Most of you are following. I'm going to get it.

I know a five-star review. And then we're always just like plus five, plus five, plus five. Fast forward, fast food. 15, 15, 15, 15. Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Well, they're trying to sell you that men's clothing. Yeah.

What is that brand that's on all of the? Oh, yeah. Doesn't wrinkle t-shirts or something? Yeah, that one. Yeah. Doesn't wrinkle t-shirts? Doesn't wrinkle the t-shirts. Number two on the list of the top six titles for a podcast,

buy nuns, four nuns. Bless her daddy. Oh, love it. What I call her daddy, but bless her daddy. Bless her daddy. Yeah. Bless her daddy. And number one on the list of the top six,

titles for a podcast, buy nuns, four nuns. Could be a homegrown one because it's no-sex. Dot life. Oh. Oh, that's good. No-sex. Dot life. Yeah.

That is today's top six. The Z&M Podcast Network. Producer Shannon. I believe there's two of you. I was going to say the one the only. No. No. So I might have a twin out there.

So yesterday I was out in the real world buying something. It's awful, eh? It's awful. Yeah, yeah. I've not heard great things about the real world. It's quite scary. I did have to decompress afterwards. But no, they, for the loyalty system,

they said, what's your name, your full name and your mobile number and all this? And they started getting a bit confused, the shop assistant, and said, confirm your address again and I confirmed it and they said there's two Shannon Trims in our system Oh it's not one of... No, it'll be one of your old addresses. So then I said let me rattle off because like, you know,

this could happen obviously. Let me rattle off my last four addresses. So I went bum bum bum bum bum, bum. No. They were like, no, no, no, this is definitely a different person. So you've, there's another Shannon Trim. Now this happened to me before. In New Zealand. In Central Auckland it seems. I'm looking on Facebook. I can't see any other Shannon Trim.

Apart from you. I mean, there are some, but they don't live in New Zealand. Yeah. One time I was on Facebook and you know how they say suggested friends? I found someone with my last name and discovered a naughty cousin I didn't know about. So that was crazy. What do you mean a naughty cousin? We didn't know about them.

Oh, okay. That like it was kept hush-hush, but then I was like, Trim's not a common last name. So then I found out I had an extra cousin. But no, I've never heard of another Shannon Trim and now I want to find her. I assume it's a her. Obviously, it could be a boy. Oh, yeah, it could be a guy. Boy Shannon does exist.

Yeah. I've just, because I just looked up, oh, yeah, could be a boy. I just looked up Haley Sproul on Facebook, and there's actually a Haley Rose Sproul that was going to be my name. In Brisbane, where I'm going to be at the end of this week. We should all go out and try to find our Shannon Trim, our Haley Sprout. Have you got a Vaughn Smith in there, Vorn-Smith? Well, yeah, there's multiple Vaughn-Smiths.

There was a Vaughn-Smith in New Zealand who did search and rescue on that time. Komp and you promise. There was a Vaughn Smith that ran for Act in Central Wellington a few elections ago. Yeah. That was you though. The Vaughn Smith that gets me stopped at Australian... That was me.

The Vaughn Smith that gets me stopped at Australian customs was the guy that looked after Julian Assange when he was... Yeah. Oh yeah, that's right. Gen Z have a slang term for this. So you know the common term, doppelganger. There's now chopper ganger. That's when they look like you.

Yeah. There's now choppelganger, which is when they're a less attractive. version of you. Because they're chopped. Because what if you find Haley Sproul or you find Shannon Trim are the namesake and they're hotter?

I just want to say this Haley Rose Sprow, who is in Brisbane, is stunning. Oh no. I'd be the minger, Haley Sprout. Are you the Choppel Gang? I can actually, I'm the Choppel Ganger. I can actually see she's like, got beautiful

Auburn here, bright blue eyes. Oh, God. Right. Actually, another Haley Sprow Only one owl in Sprowl and only one Y in Haley Yeah She's also pretty good looking And there's a Haley Sproul in

In California in Los Angeles Also Yale University Educated Oh my and hot So like just kind of looks like you're leading the name down Can you find a dog? I just don't need to be the hottest I found a dog here I found a dog Oh my God, no that's you

Oh, God. I'm so sorry. He's literally on your page. I'm so sorry, but that is a real pick. That is a real. That is a real. It's so fun to laugh. It's so fun to laugh.

With friends, right? Genuinely good friends. I don't think we should be roasting Haley when she's had three hours asleep for the last two weeks. For the last month. Jesus. She's Volneys. The ZNN Podcast Network.

Play ZDM's Fletchhorn and Haley A Petra session in Dargaville's been has asked with a little handwritten sign up saying please prepay inside and leave your keys at the counter for a fill Well actually they wrote for a full slash fill You only need fill, I don't think you need full. Full tank or fill?

Yeah, because otherwise people will fill the whole tank and then drive off. Yeah, that's what it is. They obviously don't have those pumps where you can pay at the pump. It's mate, Dargavel. I don't know I said with absolute love Having spent a lot of my young years there

It's a Bipi But no Maybe not Right Yeah It does look like an old school Sort of Sourn I know the BEPI

I know the BEPI very well You know the BIP It's not a baby Fletch should be somewhat reluctant To stop there It doesn't have the The Caffe Well I love the

Yeah The lovely things The home style chicken bites The Southern style chicken bites Yeah yeah Yeah yeah Now we're talking God what's the price of those now

I bet they've gone I haven't stopped. What are they used to be a couple of bucks or a dollar 70 or something? No, these would be a buck each. No, they were two each, weren't they? Because I could demo about five or six of those at a time. And then it went five for six. Oh, yeah, well.

I haven't been for a while, but I'm sure they're up there. Yeah, they're so good. Are you guys ever accidentally driven off without paying at a petrol station? No, but I've gone in and pre-paid for gas and come out and forgot to put it in my car and driven away. Oh, so the opposite. Yeah, the opposite, I gave them money rather than took their petrol. That's nice of you, because they're doing it tough at the moment petrol stations. Yeah, a bit of charity.

And all fairness, there has been some abuse to all the people who are in the petrol sessions. And they got nothing. I was working at, I was working at Shell Borrow's villa, 90-9-9, when petrol 91 ad-ledit went over $1 a lit for the first time. One dollar a liter. And now we'd be like, yes. An old man came in, to put petrol in his courtina. I remember it well.

He popped open the flap and he took out the rag. How old were you? this lid, so he's just had a little rag. Oh, the rag? Oh, yes. Remember this used to be acceptable practice, by the way, modern, listener? It used to be acceptable prayers if you lost your fueled lid, just jam a rag in there, so not too much.

You wouldn't go to Rep Coenbuyer replacement. No, you'd put a rag in there. No, jam a rag in there. There was no team you or Ali Express going to order one off through, like, 13 cents free post. How old were you? 17. Okay.

And he threw the rag at me. And he said, this is bloody daylight robbery. It's over a dollar a leader. And I said, I've got nothing to do with it. Yeah, did he drive off and it was sloshing out? No, I walked away, because they always said, if someone had got abusive, you just walked away from it. Right.

And then when I watched him on the security camera, picked the rag up and put like $10 gas in, which is 10 litres. So $10 of 10 litres. Yeah. How good that'd be now. And then jammed the rag back at, thumb the rug back. Yeah.

I would have thrown a moro bar at him. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no. He doesn't deserve a trade. This was on the forecourt. There was no, I thought it was inside. I was only on four. No, I wasn't qualified to work the till.

And I was really, really... He was a fatty bum bum, I was a fatty bum and I couldn't be trusted on the till. And one of the reasons I wasn't allowed on the till, the test I failed, I couldn't identify what smokes they wanted quick enough? Windfield! Can I have a 25 holiday?

And I'd turn around and I'd be looking and they'd be like, the white one, I'd be like, all white. And then I'd put my hand out and they'd go up, up, up, up, up. Like I was a little man vending machine. Up, up, up, up, up. I just didn't know smokes. Yeah, that's fair enough. Still don't know smart.

Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know the Smokes. The ZN Podcast Network. Is this a show real? Play ZN's Flesh, Foran and Haley. I'm about to be, try to be, someone's going to try to talk me into being my oldest daughter's hockey coach for the season. And what did I say, well, what did I say.

You don't need another thing on your plate. That's what you said. No, you don't. You don't. The plate is full, the cup of overflow. And that, that was coming from Haley Sproul, who loves an overflowing plate. Loves a stacked plate. She loves her plate.

So stacked the place running the Chinese bloody small sports charging her $2 extra because the Polar Siren thing won't shut. What have you done this for, mate? You don't need that? Well, I wasn't going to it and I was going to play hardball. And then I talked to the teacher in charge. And she was like, oh, it would be so great. And I said, oh, I've got a lot on.

And I gave her a little behind the scenes. And she was like, well, you know, we can get somebody help out. They always say that, don't they? So anyway, by the end of the phone call, I was like, oh, right, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. You've been gas-lamped. We're both weak.

We're both weak, weak people. This would never have to fledge. You've got to learn to say no. You've got to learn to say no. Yeah, you're too nice. You're a big softy, only you. So what does this entail? Tuesday afternoon practice and Thursday evening games.

Also, I'm sorry, but this is getting into, you know, like, it's okay when your kids are at primary school, but you're going to be embarrassing dad now. So then I, sorry, after I agreed to it, I messaged my daughter in here, I said, I hear your new hockey coach is a hottie. And she said, ooh. Oh, you pervert, Dad. Don't embarrass me. Do you mean the manager?

I said, no, no, your coach, he's sexy as. And she said, what? It's a guy. I said, I found a photo of him. And she said, oh, I want to see it. So I sent her a photo of myself. Yeah. And she said, where's the photo of the hockey coach?

And I said, oh, I'll find another. And I sent another. And she's like, um, and then she sent a photo back of herself. I said, oh my God, do you know his daughter? And she's like, what are you talking about? Where's the hockey coach? She didn't. She just, this is just so far over her head.

Yeah. So I literally said, it's me. And she said, oh, hell nah, you're cooked. And then there's a whole lot of like Gen Alpha. You're cooked. You've got no Sigma Riz or something. No, there was no Sigma Riz. She's like, please don't be annoying.

Because I said, you're also incredibly effed. And she said, please don't be. annoying, I said, yep, next Tuesday after school, first training's the beat test. Dad, no, that's not hockey. Everyone will hate you and then they'll hate me. And I said, fitness is an essential part. Please don't. I'm not playing if you do this

and everyone will hate me and I'm not even lying. Oh, Dad, you can't. Oh, why did you even sign up for this? I'd be so embarrassed. I just. So how long's the commitment force you? It's twice a week and for how long? I don't know. Also, you played hockey for like two weeks and you were in the

rep team because your mum was just on it for two weeks. Where was the last time you even picked up a stick? No, but you've even know which way the stick goes around? Steve Hanson didn't bloody play rugby, did he catched? Yeah, but not in like a professional level, did he? Now I love, hang on, even just the fact that you're putting yourself up with Steve Hansen. Well, Haley, shoot for the stars. He played rugby.

Shoot for the moon and if you miss you land amongst the stars. Here we go. Steve Hanson, the. The famed New Zealand coach played rugby union as a centre representing Canterbury at a first class level on 21 occasions. While he did not play for the All Blacks, he had a distinguished playing career in the midfield for Maris before becoming behind. What was the peak of your hockey career?

Yeah. Probably. When his mum chose him for the rep team. Because they needed the numbers. No, my mum got called. This is exactly what's happening to me. I got to happen to my mum. I had a rep team, but no coach.

And so she got stuck with it. Because I was there. This is giving big Craig Sprow In the 90s My mom sent him My mom was sick And she sent him down to the local swim club Just to represent us

Just to show up And he came back And he was the president of the ESBorn swim club And mom was like Craig You was just supposed to go But why did dads always get talked into the stuff Is it because they stroke your ego And tell you think you could

Oh you'll be great at it You'll be great at it You'll be great at it It's about time I'm great at something Yeah Wow I said they'd better listen I'll be so annoyed

If they don't Of course they won't listen dad It's 13 and 14 year old girls. Oh, this is embarrassing, Dad. Are you going to raise your voice? Are you going to get a whistle? You should get a whistle. You should get a whistle.

You should get a real good whistle, not a plastic ones. Like a metal one that has a wooden ball. I was thinking I've got that dog whistle. Yeah. Oh, okay. You know that shepherd's dog whistle. That's a bit embarrassing. And it's got no ball and you have it over in your neck.

You're trying to plan all your lessons. Nah. Looking this all out. And this is just not good. I was just going to use AI. Straight up. I've just become the coach of a hockey team of 13 and 14-year-old girls. What do I tell them to do?

Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, while I'm here, what are the current rules of field hockey? Oh, my God. Why did you say yes to this? What else am I going to be doing? Um, so much. The ZM Podcast Network play ZN's Flesh Fun and Haley.

Flech Fun and Hayley. So silly, silly, silly that's silly. Silly little poll. Do you box dye your hair? is today's silly little pole. The other one of them's gone very... Oh sorry, you go. Well, no, I said yesterday, didn't I saw the guy

doing it at the swimming pool in the changing rooms? Okay. I've got a question. Yep. Do I... There's a lot of grey coming through in my beard. Like, shockingly, so... Oh, yeah, there is. No, no, no.

Leave it. Okay, that's good. Leave it. We love it. Yeah, okay. I've been told that it looks okay, but then, like, you always doubt yourself. Who said it looks okay? Girlfriend.

Yeah, it's also covering that face that close. doesn't have sex. No, it has sex. It's just not good at it. It's just not good at it, yeah. It's crazy hard launching a girlfriend because now we all know that, you know,

how disappointed this beautiful woman is to be a man that clearly doesn't know how to have sex because it's got a face like that. It's just a face that says I don't know how to. That's all. What about, you guys need to tell me what about the face? I can change it.

I can go with Haley to Turkey. I can get some work done. You can't change it. It just is what it is, man. Yeah, it's not things that you can change. It's the fundamentals. It's not like a facelift situation or anything. It's the core fundamentals of the face.

It's sort of like the aura of the face is what I'm hearing. The energy of the face. Oh, God. Not fixable, really. Isn't it? Which is crazy that you managed to get a girlfriend later. I don't know what the hell man. You should see this woman anyway.

Carry on. Box die. I feel like Haley did owe you that after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Earlier roasting. Fletcher's next. Just a bit of fun ribbing. Yeah, Fletcher's next.

No, I'm vulnerable today. I've been able to much sleep. Yeah, you work up really early. I woke up at like 1.45. And I was like, well, now I can't get back to sleep. Did you try it. Oh, hold on, I'm so sorry to hear that you're sleep deprived. Try being in Australia right now.

That's true. Okay. Well, today's a little poll. Do you box die your hair? The options were yes or no, I go to a salon or no, I don't dye my hair. Now, 35% of people don't die their hair. 35% of respond. Don't die their hair.

49% go to a salon to get their hair coloured and 16% doing it at a home. 16% of people box dyeing. Well, it's cheaper, isn't it? And, you know, it can look just as good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's some great box dyes out there. Kirstie said, I've boxed died a lot to save money, but now it's stuffed. So I've booked in to go to a salon and currently terrified how much it's going to cost. Yeah, that's the thing.

If you mess it up, you're definitely going in. And they've seen that before, right? People coming in. They're like fix me. Every day. Are they mean about it though? Because you wouldn't go back if they were mean about it. I think that'd have to be understanding like a doctor.

If a doctor makes you feel bad, you don't want to go back to that doctor. And then the health problem gets weird. Yeah. Like that time I gave myself stitches. Yeah. And he was like, oh, these are terrible. Yeah. And you were like, well, I couldn't get the bonina or any closer.

Dug, dung, doug, duc. Preety says, it's a personal recession, babes. So she sounds like she's doing a red hot box die. So, it's probably the guys that they always have on the... I've never bought one because I don't have here. But the guys are always like silver foxes, eh? And they die away their silver fox? Oh, I know.

Which is a crime. You love a silver fox. You've got to keep the greys in the beer. Yeah, I'm just saying it would be nice to see some average mingers, you know, on the box. Right. Not like a beautiful model. Right. Yeah, yeah.

Libby says, I don't die because technically I'm blonde and that's very expensive. Mousy Brown for life. Okay. Just got a little Mousy Brown Blonde. situation there. Fania says, I use Hena because anything's stronger and I have to suffer with breakage.

Hena. Hena. The ink that would be used for the decorative. Yeah. Well, I guess that would. But would that stain your head as well? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. It would. It would stains your skin. Yeah. Stainter. Someone at how I have to hold you upside down and dip you from the feet into...

That's probably... Yeah. Yeah. That's probably how they do it. Stop you and then they put you on a drying rack. You wouldn't need someone to... hold you just fell up a pot. Oh, go, go, and then kneel in front of the pot. And then kneel and put your head down. Okay. My husband does it for me, says Alicia.

Oh, my husband does it for me? $15. Is your husband, Rodney Wayne? It would be pretty great of his name is Rodney Wine. Yeah. Or silver scissors. Yeah. $15, if he does it at home, $300 last time I've done on this.

So, love. Wow. April says, because I ain't paying someone to die my hair, dark brown. Yeah. So she's obviously of the. Yeah, there are definitely some colours that are easier to do at home. Like you wouldn't go, you wouldn't do blonde as pro-level, right? Well, that's the riskiest because you've got the bleach in there that can cause damage and stuff.

A bit of a brown, check a brown on. I read, dark brown's the only one that isn't pro-level. Like red, doing your hair any shade of red would be pro-level. Yeah, but some browns, if they've got a red, I've done it before when I was a box die away back. Some of the browns have a red undertone and your hair can really pick it up. You turned up looking like Ronald's wig. Yeah. I did.

One day. Kids, you must remember every time you're in the car. You just taunted me all day with that. Yeah, we did. Deserved it. Yeah. Bernice said, had a bad experience over lockdown. My lovely mother-in-law box died by hair with one request for me,

don't let me go ginger. It went bright orange. Spent the rest of lockdown with a cap on. Well, at least you are locked down and no one could see your jinge. As a natural redhead, Ruby says, as a natural redhead, I would never. And I implore you. Yeah, we love a natural red hair, don't we?

We do, yeah. We love them. We love him. We love a red hair. The King is a back day. Just a moment there for the red hair. They've never gone away. They've never gone away.

We'll always go dark skin, light eyes, but a moment and, oh, like a fair-skinned redhead. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Here at the show. Maybe with an Irish accent. We're just imagining it. Imagining a few then. Were you just imagining a few then?

Yeah. And you know what they say about the red-headed gentleman? No? Really, Haley. Really? That's what I'll say. I don't know what I mean. You know what it means?

Oh, oh, are we a... Oh, yeah, mate. Really? Warns like, are you sure because my bed's ginger? Yeah, no. No, that's... Don't get any ideas. No, it's got to be on top.

It's got to be on top. Oh, right, no on top. No, but on top. Okay. My hairdresser approves a semi-permanent box die. $16 at show sponsor, Chemist Warehouse. Ding the bow, ding the bow. Oh, ding the bag.

It's funny. Their show says in for beauty week. And their hairdresser approves it. Yeah, lovely. A bit permanent box style. Well, for silly a poll today, we asked, do red-headed dudes have massive wangs? Oh, no, sorry, that's tomorrho. Do you box dye your hair?

Oh. Poor. Can we get confirmation 9696 on that rumor? This myth. Or Haley's been perpetrated. Haley's done some sample size. I did some sample testing. There's no sample size about what these guys are rockabomboise down to me.

That's a full purchase. Well, we asked today. She's a full purchase. Can we get 96-96? We asked. Is anybody done any more extensive research ladies? Gentleman, listen to red-headed men. Are they taller?

Are they taller? They're more well-endowed? Do you box, do you're here? 49% of you said, no, I go to a salon. The Z&M Podcast Network. What's going on? ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. The International Comedy Festival kicks off next week,

and I actually can't believe I'm saying that, and that's really giving me some perspective on my own work. But we're not here to talk about my show. We're here to talk about Liv McKenzie's show. She's in studio with you, your lucky people. Morning, Love. Hi, I don't miss you. I miss you, but we've been hanging out of Melbourne

because you've been over. in Melbourne for the Comedy Fest doing your show. Yeah. So your show's finished but Haley's is not. No, she's in Sydney now, right? Yeah.

I mean, I am in Sydney. Like she... You didn't want to do Sydney? No. Well, no one asked. So I was like, I'll just go home, I suppose. No one asked me to hang around or go to anything else.

So I just thought, I guess I go home now? Yeah. Yeah. Or just hang around. I'm very jealous of people like comedians like you that did their show in Australia first so that when you get back to New Zealand,

you're all like warmed up and ready to go. Yeah, me and my crowds of two to three people really brought my show together, I think. You tell the boys, tell the boys, because people don't like them, the comedy fests are hard, man. They're really, really hard. And Melbourne's one of the hardest.

It's really hard to cut through. There's 800 shows. So your show, Literal Angel, which you're doing for New Zealand, was over in Melbourne. And some nights you had to do it to a couple of people. Yeah, I would say most nights, I would say if I had a couple people, it was a blessing. And it was, I think there was like 800 shows this year.

There's an extra 100-something shows. Wow. So there's just so much choice. Yeah, yeah. So it was like, one night I turned up and I hadn't sold any tickets. But I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to still go down and set up all the stuff and hopefully some people will come. And then I had two lovely artists who'd used their festival passes to come in for free. And that was great.

but when I'm doing my makeup the next day for the show I'll listen to the show from the night before just in case I said anything funny like off the cuff and that that I can add in and I was listening back to that recording and I sound demented because it's just me they weren't great laughing so I'm just telling my jokes

being like ha ha ha by myself and you kind of hear someone breathing in the background at points and what is your show about this year this show is about how it's called literal angel and it's about how I'm sick of being a good person because the world is so evil. But not in a way where I'm like about to get super racist. Just in a way where I like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sick a bit of a good bit. The world needs more, people, not less. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it really does. No, so I still am a good person. But it's just hard, I think, to be a good person. Like, I accidentally... Sometimes I accidentally do the wrong thing.

And when I was in Melbourne, I was smoking these tiny Korean cigarettes, and I don't smoke normally because it's bad for you. But I was on holiday, so you're like, what? It doesn't count. I don't know if that's a thing. You and I'm like, no, it doesn't count. It doesn't count.

You're in festival. It doesn't count. You weren't on holiday. You were there to work. Yeah, I was working comedy, but I had my day job off. So all I did was like play Pokemon all day and smoke tiny Korean cigarettes. And then I was out on the street with this, my friend smoking. And then this girl comes up and she's like, can I have a cigarette?

And I was like, yeah, that's fine. And give her one. And then she sits down with us. then I realized she's a child. And I was like, oh, no. I was like, I think I've just given a cigarette to an eight-year-old. And then she's talking to us. And then she was like, how old are you, by the way, Dole?

And she's like, 17. And I was like, oh, thank God. Still under 18. Oh, still under 18. But better than 13, which is what I thought. And then she's telling us about her, like, friends. She's like, yeah, I've got bad friends. My friends are older and they're no good.

I'm like, yeah, older friends are no good for you, dull. I am 32, but it's no good. It's not going to. Oh, geez. Okay. How do you guys feel? I also want to say to our audience that might not know you. I mean, you're on seven days. Have you been paying attention a lot?

But I don't want people to think that you're the level of comedian that deserves two audience members just to reiterate. Yeah, I deserve it. There's so many Kiwis that go over to, you know, their big festivals, Edinburgh and Australia and stuff. And they'll sell so well in New Zealand. And then it's very humbling over in Australia. Yeah, it really, and I think that's good actually for me

because I'm a bit of a menace, so I think I need to be brought down to earth to just be grounded like that. And I think, I've already sold more tickets in New Zealand than I did for three nights than I have in the whole two weeks for Australia. Yeah, Australia. But I had a good time. That's what I mean.

I don't want people to like sit on this being like, well, if she's only sells like two a night. Yeah, I'm not good at PR, am I? I'm good at giving cigarettes to teenagers. So shout out to my kids. new friend, actually her name was Haley too the 17th. Oh was it? Yeah. My bestie. I would like to say I was not

involved in this dodgy dealing. This is a legal deal. No, I didn't want to give fun to her. So you gave illegal cigarettes as well. So you gave a legal cigarettes to say no. I am. See, I'm such a good person. I'm like, of course I'll give a cigarette to a stranger on the street and it's not my fault that she's in a bad person. Yeah, see, and that's what the show's about.

If you said, no, you would have been a bad person. Then I would have been rude. One person's eyes. I'd rather be polite. accidentally give a dart to a 17-year-old. Be polite but bad. Yeah, so that's what the show's about. It's so hard to be a good person. It is. Wow, it's me there.

Liv, you are one of the most, like, genuinely hardworking of very funny comedians in New Zealand and I cannot wait to see your show. It's called literal angel. You're on the 5th to the 9th of May. Is that right? The 5th, 6th and 9th. Fifth, what are you doing on the 7th and 8th? Probably just watching Love Island or something.

Oh, okay. Busy schedule. Comedy Festival.com. Fistival.com. NZ for tickets. Liv, cannot wait. Thanks for coming in. Thanks for having me.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh forune and Haley. Having recently harvested my honey from the hive. You've got bees. I've got bees. I can tell you

it's a really weird so the wax that's part of the beehive that's impossible because it melts at a high temperature but the minute it's not high. It just sets like glue. And then the honey is just so sticky.

Yeah. So it was a whole... It is sticky, isn't it? It's a mess. It was a mess. It's a mess. It's a mess. It's a mess.

When do we get some of this honey? Sorry. I'm having some labels made. Okay. It's a professional operas. I don't need labels. All right. Cary.

Labels will be made. Okay. So when I saw this TikTok, I was like, I just can't even imagine where the cleanup would begin. A lady who claims to be a beekeeper had glass jars

full of honey just rolling around willy-nilly in the boot of her car. Oh, no. And it's gone around a corner and they've smashed together and smashed and the honey has just, if you've ever evered out with raw honey, it's just spread all through the boot of her car. And if you've ever spilled anything in the boot of the car, it finds every gap. It goes down into that thing where the tire is under the car.

It goes into where the indicators are. Yeah. The lights. It goes everywhere. And the fabric back there is so faulty. I know. It's so clean. It's felty.

They need to change the fabric in the boot of cars. impossible to vacuum. I'd love a tiled boot. Same. I'd have a vinyl boot. A vinyl boots. A vinyl would make sense. Final actually makes more sense in tiles.

Slightly. Slightly lighter. It's a lovely tile mosaic or something. Imagine having a lovely, like, mosaic tiled boot. Check a board. Yeah, yeah, lovely. Yeah. But yeah, a vinyl one.

Okay, this video, she opens the boot and there's honey dripping down from the, like it's a hatchback. Oh, it's everywhere. And the honey is just dripping down from the door. It is everywhere. Listen to this though. She says four months after this honey mishap, a sticky situation is still a talking point.

My husband deserves a shout-out for all his efforts in handling the unexpected honey. Well, she did this. There's just no way. Oh no, I've rolled jars of honey and the smash that's gone all through my car. I feel like it's a love it. No way. I feel like it's a write-off. It would be that hard to clean.

How would you... I think you'd have to open up the boot and go into a car wash. Or just go to that place in the mall where they valet your car. car and don't tell them you've spilled 18 liters of honey. Yeah, I'll have the $45 claim. Just a quick one. I'm just popping into glasses. I'll be back.

Or back it up to the beehive and let the bees come out and get all the honey. Do they take it back? They recycle their own honey. Yeah, because it's already. It's already. How will they get into the tire wheel? Will they lift the carpet? They're amazing.

They're very, very smart. We want to know what made it. We want to know this morning on 0-800-9-6-9-6. What made a mess in your car? I love this. Because I'm so glad that I owned this car when I had it. And I had a protein shake and it was in a neutral bullet thing. But I didn't have a lid.

And I remember I just put it in the thing and the cup holder and it was too big. I was like, I'll be around. Just drive carefully. And I had to shunt my brakes. And it went bleh and spewed all through the car. Was there milk in it? Yeah. Protein powder.

That stuff stinks. That is stinking on a hot day. You're never getting that out. I think that car got burned. Dairy Derned. Especially if it's that dairy-based protein. Yeah.

So I left a block of butter in the glove box of a Toyota Starlet once upon a time. And mum then we were home for hours. It was middle of summer. And mum said, whatever happened in that butter? I said, oh, I don't know. We went out and looked in the car. I couldn't find it. I forgot I put it in the glove box.

And it just melted all through. And for years, that car stunk. Years. Like butter popcorn? But it's like when you're, oh, yeah, yum. I love to smell of butter. But it's like when you've got. Your grocery bags.

You need grocery bags and then something spills out and you take the groceries in. And you forget the mints under the chair. Okay, well this is what we want to know this morning. Give us a call. 0800 dials at M. When you made a mess in the car, what spilt? Spilled or spilt? Both acceptable, I believe.

It spelt. Yeah, both, yeah, spelled in any way. So a woman's gone viral because her large glass jars of honey smashed. And honey all through the bit, she opens the boot. it's dripping down. What a consistent C.A. to deal with. Not the only person. A builder who's literally 10 metres from the studio

has messaged it and saying they got, hey! Honey all through their yute was transporting 90 KGs from my hives and one of the buckets fell over. Oh, God. Oh, my. You've got a straight buckets. Now, where's our free honey? Can we ask him if we can get some of our honey?

I'm coming here. Because our horse is on blades. Because our friend Vaughn won't give us honey because he's making his own labels. Like a good label. Take it easy. Alyssa, when did you make a mess in the boat, in the car? Oh, so I had some protein moose in a container.

Yeah. I forgot it was in the boat. And it was summer. So it was heating up and cooling down a lot. Oh. And it was probably like a month later, and it was the smell. I took a look, and the juices of it had leaked out into the car. And it smelled horrific.

Like, it's not like a dead body was in there. It was bad. And I tried to wet back it and it wouldn't work and it wouldn't do anything. And then I finally, I crashed my car. Thank God. Wait, so you were like, so you just threw a tree one day and you're like, into it. That'll do it. I was like, yeah, I'll get rid of that smell.

No, that's crazy. I know what? That's the thing with milk. Any milk spill? You're not getting rid of that. Nah. It's staying there. Lisa, don't tell me it was milk.

Lisa. Hey, if you can hear me. Yes, Lisa. I'm driving, so it's bad reception. That's okay. When I was milking, I used to take some kinesilic milk home to feed the cuff, and the 20-liter bucket fell over in the back of the boot. And I didn't actually notice it until I got home,

and it was dripping as I had pushed all through the feet. front under the seats. Oh no. Was that an insurance? Did you get insurance for that? Yeah, no, I did. But the excess was still 500, but yes, it had to be all replaced. Yeah, I was going to say, it's almost a right-off,

really, isn't it? You've got to replace all the seats and panels and stuff. Oh, Lisa. She's Louise. Thank you. Katie, how did you make a mess in the car? Oh, Katie. Oh, well, my husband's slightly erratic driving on the back Rhodes of Kumu, caused my oldest child to vomit up half-eaten salmon sushi.

Oh, St. Piers, you're going to love our sushi. Except on the way up. I think St. Piers would like to formally distance themselves from this story. Yeah, oh no. And did that take a while to get the smell out? Yeah, and at, like, the rice, like, stuck into all the fabrics and... Under the seat, it was on the seat, it just was impossible to find it all. Yeah, that's not good. That's not good.

Oh, Katie, thank you. So many messages coming in. I once ran over a dead possum. I saw it lying there on the road, and I was like, gotcha. And I lined it up, hit it. It exploded, and it went all up underneath the car, hit all the hot spots. I'm like, the smell of cooked rot and possum would never leave my car.

I love running over road. That'll teach you right now. I laughed a lot this morning when I heard it. It's a doozy. I don't know it. Don't tell a war. I laughed a lot when I heard just this morning. But right now we're talking about the mess you've made in your car

because a woman's gone viral because of her glass honey jars. She's got there on her boat and the honey just go. Everywhere. There's no stopping honey. So a nami of honey. I just received a message from my, uh, mate, Timmy, he's a butcher. He said, my brother's dog shat through the back of his ute.

He tried to clean it out, but the only thing he had was kerosene. And because, you know, you hear about, like, thinners and terps and kerosene are, like, cleaners? No. No. They had some sort of rogue chemical reaction. Right. And turned into, like, a shit bomb of sorts, and the gas was just, like, it was terrible. Yeah, right.

Somebody else said they actually had to buy their mother-in-law brand-new back seats for her car. Because they left rort, they left mints on the backseat of the... Where do you buy like brand new back seats? I guess you just, well, if it's an older car, you can go to like a parts place or if it's a newer car, I guess you just have to order them. Oh, gosh. To have them switched out. Because the smell of mints was so bad. Tell you what, a lot of people are getting frozen meat, putting it in the boot for getting it's there.

Oh, no. And coming back to sort of maggots and stuff. Somebody said, especially in summer. Someone said they hardly used their car over summer. and they bought a whole lot of frozen chicken for a family barbecue for Christmas forgot about it, left it in the car and then didn't think about it on the day

because there was so much other food. Came back to the car mid-January. Oh, I'd burn the car down. I'd burn the car. Just burn the car down. And they said it stunk like nothing. There was almost like a haze to the air and so the car it was so smelly. And the car was full of maggots

and they could just never get rid of it. Yuck. Raw dog food. They had some raw dog food in the car. I completely forgot about it. Notice when we could see the blood dripping out underneath the car. Bit.

Kind of accidentally left a rubbish bag in the boot when he swapped cars. It was weeks and weeks of trying to get rid of them. Weeks and weeks. I've tried to get rid of that smell. I once spilled a five lit of a bucket of white outdoor paint all over my back seat because I didn't put the lid on properly. Oh my God, that's such a nightmare. I guess your back seats are just white now.

Yeah, an easy wipe turf that has a little seal on them. Just get a roller and just finish off all the rest of the Yes, smooth it out a little bit. Keep it white. The ZANN podcast network. Haley, I'm just got a question just before you start your story. Yes, love. Had a few people message in wanting to know if you've returned the dress and the shirt to David Jones and Sydney yet.

Well, the situation goes. Oh, my God. I landed yesterday afternoon. My ACOM wasn't ready and then I had to ditch my stuff. I didn't have time yesterday. Today I have a tattoo book So it's just like probably a Brisbane issue I don't know if they'll be in Brisbane though

She's coming home She's coming home with a thousand dollars of Australian clothes She doesn't want You've got to return this dress She doesn't work in the store We'll update you tomorrow Dear listener with what happens You've got to go today

You do have time I just don't have time There is a David Jones in Brisbane But they won't have that No Brisbane Brisbane's a bit bogan No, Brisbane's swish where I'm staying. No, you'll be right. We'll be right.

But the answer's no. Brisbane's coming up. Yeah, it's... Because of the gays. Did they parachute in? They parachuted in and gentrified the area. Yeah, Brissie's nice, no. Okay, great.

He's better that cost $28, but, you know... It's great. We're on TV for a moment and I was like, I'm looking at the dress. I'm like, should chuck it on? But no, it's because it's really... It doesn't look good on me. Anyway, yes, I am... I'm in Sydney today.

Flew from Melbourne yesterday and performed last night. Lots of Zetian fans. It was so lovely to. to see everyone. Colleen bought me a bottle of one. Oh, we love Colleen. Lovely, Colleen, who listened to a podcast. Long time, listener. Yes. Got me a bottle of bloody shampers.

Anyway. Do they listen to the podcast and the show on IHard, on the IHard app? Yes, on IHart. Confirmed. Sorry, just squeezing a KPI there for the company. Just take us with you wherever you go. Yeah, just while we're, thank you. Yeah.

Thank you, Vaughn, yep. Got it. Good? You done? Good, done. You tell your story. Got that out of your system, hon? So, yeah, yesterday I was on my flight, and I got on, and first of all, I got on a little bit late,

because I was in, you know, group four or whatever, and there was a couple in the row that I was going into, and he had his bag on the seat, like he was really hopeful, you know, that I wasn't going to come, and I could see when I pulled up, and I was like, that's me. They were so gutted, you know, it was just disappointed at my presence. Put it under your legs, mate. Yeah, suck it.

Exactly. And it was a really, really packed flight, so, you know, overhead was low. Anyway, so we're sitting on the tarmac. We're a little bit delayed. And I had my headphones in, and I was already sort of, I think I was just watching reels or something. Like we hadn't even gone into the safety briefing. And I felt this sort of tap on my shoulder and a presence by my ear. And I turned around and the flight attendant was there and she was holding something. I didn't recognize what it was. And I didn't, I couldn't figure it out.

And then I was like, oh, she's passing me my belt. And I was like, wait, how do you have, I'm going to, wait, how are she passing my belt so high? And then I realized that she was handing me a belt extender, which is great, it's great that they have them. It's great that they have them for bigger people and for people that have their babies and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah.

But she was kind of like mindlessly, you know, it was just sort of she was passing it to me. and I looked at her and I sort of thought for a moment and you know I have actually put on quite a bit of weight in the last year like maybe another 10 KG's back that's alright we love it something to hold on to but

she you know I'm aware of it at the moment I'm aware of being a bit bigger than my preferred I've got a doctor's appointment this afternoon yeah now I went last time when I was heavy

this time last year I should have gone to the doctors this time last year I would have jumped on the scales no but you don't want that on the records Wow done. No, you don't want that on the records because you'll never get back there. Put on a bit of weight again

and I'm going to be like, I'm going to have to say the doctor, believe it or not. And I'll put up a couple of photos. Showing some photos of you with ads. No, it's terrible when you're lightest in the way with the doctor because then it's recorded

and you're going to go back and it's always going to go. We need you to get back to the 2025 way. Like that was a phase, man. I was going through a breakup. Yeah, it was a phase. My life was melting down. My brain was not like functioning as it should.

Yeah, yeah. But he's like, but he was like, but he was like, That's what we need. Going forward. Yeah, no, you are aware when you've put on weight, no matter what you sort of base level is.

And I just didn't think I was at belt extension. And so I was confronted by it. You're not at belt extension. Well, I thought my belt was done up in that there was, you know, it was fine. I had ample slack. So I just turned to her and I looked at her. And she looked me in the face and still didn't really say anything.

And I was like, I didn't ask for this. The people on the, I, with you? Was it for them? Were you passing it today? No, no. No, they were smaller than me, quite a petite couple. So I sort of looked at her and I said,

oh, sorry, I didn't, I don't ask for this. But again, I sort of thought, maybe she'd clock my face and be like, oh no, she didn't need it, but she didn't. And then she looked at me and she was like, oh, goodness, sorry. And she went up and it was the woman

two rows ahead of me. She just got the... Okay, so she was absolutely mindedly told it was row whatever. Yeah, but she did at the same time still. This woman doesn't need to see bad extension. Yeah, she did clock the back of my head and my shoulder and sort of worked out from that

that I needed the extender. It was just, I think, for me, just a reminder, I'm going to have it been to the gym in a month and I just sort of felt like, you know, I'll get back. Did you, maybe did you click the extra add-on bundle for the shaming? No, no. The $5 shaming.

I paid for that once. Just out of interest, the pink shane. The airplane kinkshame. Yeah, right. Yeah. They said coffee tea or spit in the mouth. And you said spit in the coffee I said she actually spit in the coffee.

And then spit the coffee moved out. All right, tell you what, not a bad seven bucks spent. Do you know what? We should start an airline, king airlines. I don't know if that's going to take off. We go down and we're like seatbelts on, yep, handcuffs on, yep, blindfold on, yeah, okay, great.

You've paid for the full work, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah, gag zipped. Yep, that's all zipped up. Fantastic. Play ZAMS, Flesh forun and Haley. Okay, just for one second, if you are behind on maths, 2026, the recent series that just finished over the weekend, just turn the volume down for five seconds.

Okay, Stell is in the only relationship that ends, that lasts, that stays together, one relationship out of the whole lot. Not surprised. Welcome back. So, you're not going to believe this. So maths literally just finished. Well, finished airing in Australia and New Zealand and the applications are now officially open for maths Australia, 27.

I believe Kiwis can apply, by the way. You've just got to like relocate over to Aussie, but you can do it. I don't think friends should let friends go on. You shouldn't let your friends go on RAPS on any reality show. Oh no, some of them. Some of them are fine, but yeah, maths this year. It just changed the whole game, I think. But anyway, Stella, who is with her partner, Philip,

which is very lovely. They had a very happy ending, like a really nice time. She's given some advice. Now the applications are open. And she's probably the only one you'd want to listen to on the show. The rest of them are bad.

Insane. Yeah. Her advice to 2027 maths applicants only go on if you're genuinely there for love. Otherwise, it will damage your life, career and sense of self. And she's not wrong.

She is not wrong at all. because they'll just make you the lunatic. And the thing is it's like, yes, all of Australia and New Zealand in the world are looking at you and they make comments and they'll get bullied online, but it actually really has had real-life implications on some of the really bad contestants this year.

Beck, who if you know, you know, she was dismissed from her job in a sales role in Adelaide because of how she conducted herself on maths. Gia was also not able to return to her job because of her behaviour on maths Brooke who was a model lost one of her biggest modelling contracts because of her behaviour on maths

Olivia Fraser from years ago was fine from a teaching job because of her behaviour like genuinely and like I mean even if you are given just a bad edit which these women weren't by the way they just behaved so poorly but even a bad edit

and you're not in control of it Again, it can have huge implications Don't let your friends go on a reality show I mean, isn't that, I mean Other people do it and laugh at them Way more fun Yeah, way more fun It just feels like, yeah

If you are looking for love It just feels like Maffs is really not the place to do it No Play ZN's flesh, one and Haley Fact of the Day Day, day, day, day day Today.

Today's Today's back to the day for kissing week is that kissing, mouth to mouth kissing isn't a universal way of showing love, affection, affection, lust and physical attraction. Right. Really? Because in order to be ill, they'll just kiss you in.

They're just like, hello. You're just like, what? Yeah, the Italians just kiss you too. Yeah, I love it. I'm right, man. Where are we got? Brazil. Yeah, Brazil.

Worldwide. Brazil. Italy. You've named two fairly hot countries, and you're telling me these people are just kissing each other on the mouth. Yeah, the French man, the French kiss. Well, the French invented the French kiss.

It's, like, the lips aren't enough. Let's get the tongue involved. It's relatively normal to kiss-slash-up with multiple people in the same night in clubbing and nightlife scenes in Brazil. No, I don't want to do that. Oh, that doesn't sound like your cup of tea flet? It doesn't, that's not you? That's how you get mono.

That's how you get glangular fever. Because there's a lot of like threads and like question boards and stuff. People are like, it's weird. Like everyone's like full on kissing. But then they'll just go to the next person. And people get confused by it. Right. That's just how they do it.

Is this why you frequent the South American? No, the beaches. The beaches. They do it on the beaches too. No beautiful beaches. Okay. So there was a 2015 study. an American anthropologist.

It has surveyed 168 cultures and found that romantic lip kissing is in fewer than half. I said lick kissing. I meant lick kissing. I didn't say the other word. You all looked at me like I said the other word. I didn't say the other word.

Found that romantic lip kissing was present in fewer than half of the cultures but the cultures that practice it are larger and more populous. And probably have better mouth hygiene and Listerine. So,

how do other people connect and show love? I will tell you soon. Pats. Okay. In some cases, kissing is actively is repellent.

The song of people of Southern Africa described mouth kissing when they first saw it when settlers and colonializers arrived as unhygienic and bizarre.

But they wouldn't have had mouth washing, right? Or would they have like... No, and they've got those big lip rings, you know? Some of them do. You know that like some tribes.

Oh my God, when you get your lip ring or your, flesh tunnel call on someone else's. That's a very good call. The cultures that practice the stretching with the plates, it would be a very hard thing to do. It would cling because they're often made of like terror cautious. It would be like, 9-6-96.

If you've ever done it, I don't know. 9-6-96 are you most challenging tips? To our tribal listeners. And we've got a lot of them. They said, why are these people smashing their mouth or are their food holes together? Oh, wow. Which is like really interesting. It is weird, right?

Why are these people smashing their food holes together? It is so weird. It is weird. And why does it feel nice? It feels great. Like if you just arrived on this planet for the first time and saw people kissing, you'd be like, what is that? You see the whole thing of a date.

They go out, they put liquid in the hole, they put food in the hole. Yes. And then they put their hole on the other person's hole. Well, yeah, that's yes for. It is a weird. I can totally, I'm on side of the song of people of South Africa. Southern Africa. It's weird, isn't it?

Yeah. It's weird. Men Henaku of Brazil, this is native Brazilians, not sort of Portuguese Brazilians that came in through colonizing and stuff, actually found it revolting when they saw colonizers. Oh. And we're repulsed by it. What other cultures do instead? The Inuit, do the Canuk.

This is, and I'm just going to say the word, because you've probably heard it said, the Eskimo kiss. Oh, Vaughn cancel. is where you put your nose out and you go side to side. Explora kisses. Explore lollies and explorer kisses. The nose and then you just go side to side on the nose. Like your traditional hony greeting. Like a hony but a tickle. But it's a tickle.

A hongy with a wiggle. So that's an absolute myth. Oh, okay. That was perpetrated by a 1922 movie made by a white man. Oh yeah. Is it Nunukkah the North? Yeah. And I studied that documentaries.

It's one of the first documentaries you ever made. It's like one of the most iconic docos. Wow, you just pulled that out. I've never heard of it myself. No, no, come to the north. Sometimes Haley's private school comes out. It was, it was very quick Margaret's, but it was like black and white footage of the Inuits.

And it was a lot of people... Totally, first exposure to them, right? It was the first time that a lot of people had seen Inuit culture online. And there was a scene where the nose was tapped at. And people were like, oh, cute. And then it was like, Miss Red is romantic, but it's actually like an intimacy thing amongst family.

In the time where only your face is exposed, you actually put your nose and mouth against a cheek or a forehead and you share breath. So it's less romantic. Yeah, Hongi shared breath, right? The malae, the nose press into the other person's neck or cheek and it's a deep inhale. It's this whole thing of like scent as recognition as a sign of affection.

Right. Yeah. So there's that as this sort of like, without ramming your food hole into somebody else's food hole. Sure, because, you know, I'm a lip-kiss of. But we don't kiss on the lips of three of us. We might do a cheek kiss. Should we move to sort of Inuit Nuzzles?

No. It's far too intimate. I think it's way more intimate than a food hole to a food hole. I always get, like, it's been a while, but when there was a line of honi, and you've got to do this different for the male and the female, and you'd go down the line of 30 people. It's so, it's hard.

Where do we switch to a kiss? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I let the people in the know I let them lead. Right. I'll just kind of present my face. Yep. Okay. And it goes to it what you will.

Yeah, I'll go down a line and like 19 out of the 30, you'll be like, oh, this face does not look like what is. Knows what it's doing. This face does not look like it knows how to have sex. No. No, it had all. So today's fact of the day is that kissing, in the traditional manner of mouth hold of food hole to food hole,

isn't a universal sign of love and affection. Fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do. Play that ends, Flesh Vaughan and Haley. I want to ask the question of our listeners, what did you give up in the name of love? Because there's a Kiwi couple living in the Gold Coast. The Kiwis love the Goldie, lovely.

and they were talking about the impact that the husbands fly in fly out, you know, your FIFO work, the impact it had on their marriage. And so he quit the work to focus on love, you know, in the name of love, thus walking away from a salary of $365,000 New Zealand. Oh my God. Oh, my God. How is that going to affect the love when he doesn't have $360,000 a year? He was very much in support because of all the pressure that the absence and, you know, him constantly being gone had on their marriage.

And they said for love it was worth it. How does it work? It's probably different for all kinds of jobs. It's different for everyone, but most of the time it can be like two weeks and then four weeks. You know what I mean? Like four weeks working and then two weeks off or sometimes it'll be like Bigston's. Yeah, it's why a lot of them just go to Bali for the two weeks off. then you don't have to have accommodation anywhere.

Same time zone? Yeah, same time zone. You just literally go to Bali and live like a king. Yeah, but man, that's a... Oh, you've got to love each other, eh? You've got to love each other to go, we choose time with each other and investment in our love over, you know,

the kind of salary people could only dream of. But it must be hard because it's not like she could just move there, because it's not like that, right? No, you can't follow them. Yeah, you just... She said on the outside, looked like we had everything, money, the lifestyle, ate at beautiful restaurants, went on all

these holidays, built our dream home, but on the inside they were just completely disconnected. And it's not who they were as people, so they just, you know, love prevailed. Could imagine then you have to spend all that time with them and you... I honestly reckon if you develop your relationship around a FIFO schedule, it would be a different game being in each other's face the whole time. Yeah, same. Let's keep a close on. It's almost ideal.

So you want to know if people have been in a similar... Okay. Yeah, maybe it was, you know, that you maybe you had to move from the place that you absolutely loved. You know, maybe your home for love or you gave up the douries. You know, I'm taking that all. I want to, you know, people, what did you sacrifice for love? What if you had a pet and they were allergic to the pet?

Yeah, oh, yeah. Do you reckon there'd be more cases where you'd get rid of them, brother, the pet? Yeah. I wouldn't get rid of Raleigh for the world. You, I'm sorry. No It's not happening What if they were really hot?

Brownskin Just give them an anti-histamine Yeah I give them an anti-histamine Cog their nose Give them an oxymars It's. Give the cat the antihistamine

I don't think that's how it works for it Is it? Yeah no Shave the cat Shave a cat Get a bald cat Yeah Get a sphinx or whatever they're called

Yeah Okay well I 800 Diles at Emizzen number Give us a call Text through 9697 right now what you gave up for love because a couple, an Australian couple, talking about the FIFO fly-in, fly-out worker.

He gave up 360,000 New Zealand dollar salary to go to the goal. It probably earns the same on the Goldie anyway. Yeah, doing something. Yeah, it's the way everyone moves, right? Yeah, probably. Allie joins us. Ali, what did you give up for love?

So it wasn't me, it was my partner. and he gave up his dog manhood, I guess you could say. Oh, okay. Was the dog a bit humpy or something? Yeah, and he was a great day. So it was a... Oh, geez. Okay.

There was a lot. Right, so you were like... You were like, it's the balls or me? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. And now the dog, yeah, he is no longer a man. Oh. Has it calmed the dog down?

Oh, yeah. He's chill now. great. Oh yay. Okay, well there you go. So if you know a sort of a boisterous young fellow, all you need to do is take their balls away. Lock their balls off. They'll calm right down. Okay, well, Julie noted. Close past pieces. Thank you, Ellie. Renee, what did you give up for love?

Hi, yeah. So I was working on a super yacht in Monaco. Made a great job there. Yep. Fun. Came back to New Zealand for my summer break, and I met a guy. We spent five weeks together here. I had to go back to my job but like I couldn't stop thinking about him and stuff and then I decided to quit my job

fly back home and take a chance on love And okay tell us it worked Tell us it worked yes I'm now a farmer's wife Yay Oh nice nice With kids with kids Oh okay so it all worked out then It all worked out yes absolutely

Oh bless you gave up below deck for country calendar I, yeah, exactly, yes. Just basically... I tell you what, one of them's been running for 60 years. Well, you don't know if Aisha's going to be below deck in 60 years. In 60 years? She could be. Renee, thank you.

Troy, what did you give up in the name of love? I gave up my side roster. Side roster. So you were seeing multiple people and you. You were this sort of Troy hand in hand. Yeah, a piece of shit, man. Right. You're a dirty router.

You're a dirty router. You know, okay, you're a good boy. So what? Did you have to delete the numbers out of your phone, Troy? Oh, I can't get my block there. Got a new phone, got a new sim card. How did you pick? How did you pick?

How did you pick? I took her on a first day and then, do you know that theory when you open the car door for them and if they don't open your door for you on the inside? Yeah. She did it. So she did it. You're a raged across and opened your door for you?

Yeah. I've never heard that. I've never opened a bloody door, you know? There's a handle. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. I never knew that was a thing.

Are you guys still together or did you return to the roster? No, still together. Roster's gone. Roster's gone. And you've got a dog now. You've got a dog. Yeah. It sounds like that, you know, chop that dog's balls off.

It's a very boisterous. I know, it's a bit loud. It's a very moisterous. Good on you, mate. Yeah, good on your, thanks, mate. Sounds like you need to chop that dog's balls off. Out of context. That's just a wild thing to say.

See a previous conversation. So many messages will get to the rest of the texts next. What you gave up for love. What you gave up for love. Some of these are really nice, aren't they? Some of these are. I gave up everything to move from the UK to New Zealand. He said if I didn't go with him, he'd go without me.

So I went nearly nine years later and two kids later. We're separating. He never treated me, right? So that's... Born, you reeled us in. Yeah, real jinn, no, like you run. But now you can stay in New Zealand, the better country. Yeah, you know?

It's way better here. It's way better here. It's way better here. Yeah. I gave up my figure for love. No. You're same. This is why you don't fall in love.

Yeah. I gave up the light in my eyes and my world will live. Okay. Let's see through the more hopeful ones. I gave up my, um, I gave it my dream job of being a professional ice skater at Alton Towers in the UK all those years ago to follow my husband in New Zealand to live. 32 years of complete devotion before I ended up her hospital and separation proceedings. Okay, didn't read that one.

Why? Oh no. We've got some very funny listeners. A promising law enforcement career for an eight-month-old relationship. She said I'm going to London. Are you coming with me? Must have worked to be married for 15 years and three kids. Oh, that's nice.

Oh, beautiful. You know, you know. 26 years ago, my husband gave up his house. work after we're only dating for three months. I moved 800 kilometres to be with me. No job in mind. Nothing just to be with me. We've been married for 23 years this year. That's nice.

It's nice. Nice. It's nice, nice north. Left New Zealand at 17 with a full-time farm job and I had a nice four-wheel drive Ute. I was living like a king at that age. 17, I'll remind you. No responsibilities. Hell yeah. I'd never left my parents' house. Moved to Australia for love. Lost every single dollar.

Okay, again, that's not a good one. Experienced depression. Can you just pre-read them. Safe to say I won't be doing that again. Can I look back and laugh about it now, though. Okay. I gave up my country, the USA and smoking, but I drew the line at wine.

I'm now gladly an official Kiwi. Oh, lovely. Yeah. And you've still got your worn. Yeah. And you still got your lungs. I gave up my parents' approval for love when I married a white girl. Oh, okay.

There you go. Indian, maybe? Perhaps. Yeah. Yeah. Perhaps. I gave up booze for my husband. Two years now not drinking. Oh, okay.

Well done. I moved countries for love. I gave up my sanity and my freedom. Okay, again. Another bad one there. It's really quite split, isn't it? My dad gave up my smoking for my mum. Gave up my mum for smoking.

And the cigarette's like, look, buddy, she can't hang around. It can't be the both of us. Me, her, me. Delicious cigarette. or that bitch of a wife he is. He's like, I love, I got news. That's not good for you. That's what I quite like that. That's a new character.

That's my little cigarette. Is that a new character? Yeah, yeah. He's a new character. Yeah, but he's a bad guy. He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy.

Listen to the way he talk. Hey, yeah. Come on, light me out. Put you in your man in your mouth. I'll ruin your life. Yeah, yeah. I'll get you hooked on one of the most economically crackling habits there are. Come on.

Come on, follow me. Come on. Nice. My dad gave a smoking for my 35 years and four kids later, they're still madly in love. Oh, that's cute. Oh, that's nice.

Those parents that hold hands at the supermarket. I know my mum still sits on my dad's lap sometimes on the chair. That's nice. He's a horn dog like you. Yeah. Yeah, horn dog. You don't know any sort of age out of that horn dog, do you? Some of double down.

Horn dog courses through me. Yeah. I gave it my lifelong dream of marrying Rich for love. I married for love, not money, and being broke sucks. Oh. Again, that's not a good one, Vaugh. That's not a good one either. Yeah, I know.

But does the love, you know, fill the financial void? Well, it doesn't pay the power and fill the car. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Log on to my Power Shop app and be like, do you accept love? Hello, BNZ speaking. Hello! A little short on the mortgage.

Can I send some love? Can I send some love? This guy's going inside. Take his house on him. The ZM Podcast Network Play ZM's FlashWorn and Haley We've um

I've man I was a big op shopper back in the day Oh I am for my house but clothing wise man All my entire wardrobe was From charity shops and op shops and savemarts love them But Man they've gotten expensive eh Yeah they really Everything has got expensive

And it's probably going to get more expensive But op shops are wild I think it's because of the rise of the people who do a lot of like flea market stuff and pick through and a very like selective on what they buy and they've got online shops where they package it up and sell it and stuff that op shops are like, oh, they're coming in and making money off us. Why don't we just charge that much for everything?

Yeah. And also... I was reading an article as well from the UK, people saying in the UK, it's gone crazy charity shops are like, they know what they've got now. And so they're like, people pay a premium for this. But also they've got to keep the lights on and lease a building like everybody else and it's so expensive.

I get it. And it is for charity. Yes, often. Yeah, that's true. Often, but not always. Yeah. Well, anyway, so we thought we'd run a quickie little poll to see if you've also found that op shops are getting bloody pricing. Do you think op shops charged too much? 80% of people said yes.

Because just because we've grown up and it's always been cheaper? It says, you know, but sometimes, like my thing is always where I'll be going, because, you know, I love going to the designer section at Save Mart to find like a, you know, secondhand designer good. And they'll always be, they'll chuck a deck juba in there. And I'm like, I'm not paying premium for Dick Juba, babes. Yeah. I pull the wool over my eyes.

Wool though. If they've got something can wool that now, we're to. Well, that'll last one, aren't? Yeah. You look after your nuts. They'll look after you, you know. Deborah said no. They've got costs too.

Plus, it's a charity op shop. The money's going to a good cause. If you don't want to pay it, don't buy it. Yeah. But then that's, there's a lot of op shops out my way, and they're all, oh, we've, we're full, we can't take off on any more clothes or anything. And maybe it is because...

You've got a bit picky, eh? When they're like, oh, your couch is a bit stained. Yeah. All right. Kendall, they said they don't charge enough. That's why people shop there, then on sale on Facebook marketplace. Yeah.

But yeah, that's what I'm saying people curating the good stuff. In my small town, no, but in Auckland, yes. You guys are getting ripped. Oh, my God. Like, Kay Road in Wellington down on Cuba and stuff. Like, it's nuts. You may as well just buy a new T-shirts somewhere. That's curated retail, though.

Yeah, it is. Renee said, I saw a Kmart and co-frame once at an op shop for $20. It was $21 if you purchased it brand new from Kmart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Claudia, some yes, but overheads are overheads, and in this economy you've gots to make the bank. Yeah.

You do gots to make the bank. Tyrone said, I saw an AS color at an op shop that was double the price of a brand new AS color because I googled it on AS color then and there. Why don't they? Yeah, okay. And Bridgett said they still have expensive. rent for the building, electricity, staff costs, etc, etc.

Yeah. So, I mean, I totally get it, but I remember the day where you get a, you get a full three-piece suit, you know, pride off someone's granddad, dead grandad for five bucks. Rinks of popper, but, you know, talk to your own. The Z&M Podcast Network. Do you have an embarrassing PE story from school? I don't.

Do you, Haley? Yeah, at my, at Queen Margaret's, if you didn't bring your PE gear and you used as an excuse to get out and it was swimming day, they used to put you in the pool in your woolens. Because our uniform was wool and $1,000 as well, this uniform. And you used to swim in your uniform and then you'd have to just be wet for the rest of the day and then wool, you just smelt like a dog. No, no, no, that can't be true.

That's tantamount to torture. No, yeah, you used to get in the pool in your school uniform. How often would someone forget their dogs? I mean, all the time. Wait, you saw this happen. I did it, I did it. I think when I was in third form or fourth form, maybe real early on. Wait, what year were you third form?

How were you born in 80? 2003. You were born in, oh my God. That's got big 80s energy that. Yeah, it does. That's got big 80s. You would stink for the rest of the day because people used to do it to get out of swimming.

And then so, and then I just stopped going. And did that put you off swimming, like since? No, it just put me off physical education This is the insane study So obviously like in the UK They're trying to get people you know active And you know Most you know

Western civilisation populations are overweight And not doing enough exercise So they like Why do you look at me when you said that? I was just looking around the room I was just like eyeballed me And you're like most of Western civilisations overweight

Come on man And then why did you go up to his guts and go slap Jabble, your grandma and you slapped under my tennis. What's you doing that for? I didn't.

I didn't. I saw it. I'm just in a bit of a comfy spot. I'm trying to get back into it. He's in love. Trying to shake my car. This is what I'm saying. When you're in love,

you're screwed. Love does you dirty, man. It does. So they're trying to get people active in the UK. So they surveyed them and they said, look, why don't you play sport? Why aren't you active? And 30% of people that they asked,

it traced back to trauma at PE. and high school. Oh, one hard. Yes, it didn't have a good experience. Yeah, and people say it put them off physical exercise in sports for life. Isn't that nuts? Wasn't it weird? I don't know how your school was, but in the academic side of things,

they would grade you with people that you were on par with. So if you weren't great at maths, you were in a class with other people who weren't fantastic at maths. We went in cabbage maths. You were in cabbage maths. Can't speak to it myself, always really thrived at the math setting. Whatever, 84 times of 469, go. Go. Cabin.

Oh, he doesn't even know. I'm loser. But it was, they never did it with PE, which I always just, even at the time, I was like, this seems cooked. Like, there should be, yeah, you're right. There should be the same way you have the academic stacking.

There should be it for PE because people are like, this is, people are in T's. Yeah, you're playing like representatives. netball and then you're running against someone who's like got a permanent limp that's not fair. They did that thing where they'd be like, okay, two captains and then they'd take turns picking. And always the people last were like the nerdy, unsporty kids. Yep. Horrible.

Who probably know what 84 times 436 is. Exactly. But, you know, not coordinated in the sports department. So this is what we want to know this morning. I can't believe that made us all do the beep test at the same time. Yeah. Like separate it out. right? You know who's going to be good at the beep test.

They do the beep test. Don't do... Yeah. No. I don't know. But I guess that you just... They just peel off, don't they? And then you're left with... Just drop out. Yeah. I do just want to remind you that earlier in the show today, Vaughn, you did admit that you've taken over the hockey coaching and the first thing you're going to do it on Tuesday next week is the beep test.

Yeah, but they chose to be there. They weren't... They're athletes. They're athletes. They chose to play hockey. Okay, so I'll 8100 dials at Amazon number. Text in now, 966. Do you have an embarrassing PS? story and did it put you off sports or exercise after that? Yes or no?

We're taking your calls now. Do you have an embarrassing PE story? Because the study in the UK has found that for a third of adults, it put them off for life from sports and the gym. Just any kind of exercise because they're like, no, too much trauma. Yeah, so it totally adds up, right? It totally makes sense. So this survey as well had some more.

40% of the people that they surveyed still recall being picked last for teams and the same number, 40% haunted by memories of being body conscious during class at PE. Oh yes. Like that's how bad it is and it's stuck with them. The body conscious, I hadn't even remembered that trauma.

Thanks. Thanks for bringing that back. Some messages in, I wasn't a sporty girl, hated PE at college we could wear tights in winter which was great, no need to shave the legs. Used to get away with keeping my tights on during PE until one time I've got to take them off. Diet of embarrassment

with super white, super hairy legs out for all to see. Put me off any form of fitness. Georgia, Georgia's in. Georgia from the day show on ZM. Make sure you listen, please. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Do you have any bad memories of PE or only good? You would have been quite sporty.

Yeah, I was. Always put first and I'm gay. Am I? I, I don't know. All right, bully. But guys, no, do you know one, and this is horrific. And gals, you know exactly what I'm talking about when you first get your period. And you go swimming for the first time and the string hangs out.

Oh yes, string at the sign. Because you don't think to, you don't know what to do with that at that time. Sala tape it down. Do you? Tell me more. No, you sort of tuck it towards your bottom. Oh, no, I go forward. That's in a good silly little pole.

Which way do you tuck your tampon string? forwards backwards. Not towards the fun bit. No, you tuck it towards the business. No, I'll get extras on there. You don't want to take it towards the business. You don't want to take it properly, Georgie. Please, well, the strings quite long.

Why would you tuck it forward towards the fun button? That doesn't make any sense. Well, I'm not using the fun button when it's that time, am I? No, and also, you don't want to put it near the brown button. Thank you, please. I'm on Team Georgia and I don't even use it. How dirty is your bum? Why aren't we washing our bums better?

It doesn't make any. Why have you got permanent skins? This is absurd. I'm not saying you've got permanent skids. I'm just saying that there's remnants. If you're going to put it one way, you tuck it forwards. You ain't tucking it back, Haley. You're looking at it back.

I'm on Georgia's day. Why would I have it at the front? It doesn't make it easy. Okay, subtext. Nice six, nine six. Front or back. Do you tuck your string, forward or back? Ladies, please.

Let's go to Dana. Dana, good morning. Good morning. And now what's your embarrassing P.E. story? I broke my nose. Oh, okay. Oh, no. What sport were you doing?

Well, we were all kind of, like, in the PE Hall at my high school, and we were all kind of standing along because we all had to take stupid turns playing badminton. Yeah. And I was standing behind a guy, and he got scared of the shuttlecock, and his head came back and smacked me in the nose. Oh. It's more embarrassing for him, I'd say. Yeah, but no, you end up with the broken nose, don't you?

Yeah. But he got embarrassed of a shuttlecock, you know? I guess with the lightest, slowest things. It is weird, though, because you hit it so hard, and it doesn't move. Just woof! Yeah. Okay. Return on investment ratio, I'm hitting a shuttlecock.

Terrible. Did that kind of put you a sport and exercise for life? I mean, I mean, before that, I was always a bit heavier. Right. Per se. So, like, I hated sport. I still still, I hate PE, hate sport. I hate any form of exercise.

That's why I'm just a game up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just before you leave. string forward or string back? String forward. Thank you. Thank you, Dana. Thank you, Dana.

Okay. Good to know. What's insane, man. It's not insane. It's actually not, though. It's away from the park. No, it's only, yeah. It's only a...

That's Hayley's new nickname, Brownstring. Yeah. Skelly string. Okay. Oh, brown string. Okay, here's the feedback. Okay. Wait, are we doing text messages?

about embarrassing PE or are we just doing string forward. No, give up on it. I honestly reckon people are far more invested in the string forward string back. Tuck it in. You might have to go for a bit of a faucet later but it's the safest place over again. What do you mean? I think that's one.

I think I sort of get mine mashed in by the underwear. Like it's sort of coils just sort of in and around but if I'm tucking, it's back. I got to say the use of the word fosick. You got a fosick around but it's really tickled me. Ashley

has been so into this conversation she's had to call 0,800 dollars at him. Ashley, string forward or string back? Well, I'm with the hole. It does just kind of coil up and then sit there. It matches. It's got to be forward.

Thank you, Ashley. It would tickle, though. A sensible person. Tackle? It would tickle. It would tickle. When you go to the toilet next time, I don't know. Oh, I hadn't thought about that.

Also, you're not a urethra forward. Yeah, but let me just... There's something else that's forward And I just don't think that we put the string towards it But you know how you've got to check it's there sometimes I don't want to be digging all the way back To see if it's here I want to be fostering a little bit

That's what we've determined here Is you've got pursytmas Skids McGee. A couple of pooey bummed Okay Ashley, thank you for your valuable contribution there Forward, definitely forward always Back is gross, no Someone said I neither go forward nor backwards

sideways. A fosca. You do just kind of mash it. That's how it ends up hanging out out the side of your togs at PA and you get a little bit. That's what I mean. That's what I'm talking about when you need it to be tucked. Do you go forward or back?

Not just when you're mashing it in. It's string forward. I think string back might be the early side of a serial killer. Yes, yes. Calcesey said going backwards is wild, Haley. Maybe it's because I'm a merican, but we'll just cut the string before we swam. What?

No, because I'm losing it. You're going to have a faucet. You're going to have a faucet. I mean, That's a mega fossock. That's a big fossock. That's a big dick. That's archaeology.

That's a pinchy fosick. Trying to get that thing out. Somebody said, Cut the string. Somebody else said cut the string. That's wild. If you're going for a swim. I always tucked it back, but now I'm team front.

Gross leaving it at the back. On with Georgia. Haley, you're- Tuck us. Tuck it forward because it'll tickle your bum otherwise. Is it confronting, hey, but I don't want to tuck tickling the other thing? Is it confronting Haley realizing live nationwide that you, you're a manky bitch.

But you know that I don't, I don't wear tampons. I don't use them, but when I did, I tucked back like a manky bitch. Okay. Forward, if you took it back,

somebody said, I tuck up forward ever since I tucked it backwards and it got stuck in my bum hole. Oh, how does that happen? Your bon tucks your own. Somebody said,

does anybody else cut the string to half length? No. Someone said that when they get a box of tampons, they'll go through and cut the string to half length. When I've got a box of tampon You don't have the pull because it's got a knot at the bottom

So you can hook it Do they, because I've obviously Never used them but do they have the little thing on Like the tea bags? No, the dangle, they don't Or the paper tag that says what brand it is like Libra It says extra large It's the super, that's embarrassing, isn't it?

It says red bush tea Oh, oh thank you Shannon's just past a template. It's a twisty there, Fletch. Oh! Good fun, eh, they're fun. That was cool.

Now you want to do that, don't you? Yeah, I want to open it. It's like a Christmas cracker, but a towel. I snap them like, like that rather than a twist. Oh my God. See, Haley, that's so much string to go by your nose. That's so much string, Haley. I know, but in the Ford bit, I can't say the word that it touches if you go on the

Ford bit, but that would be overstimulated. We can't be doing that. Vaughn, if we had to, um, finish this with a percentage. Oh no, I accept I'm a banky bitch. Remember, I free bleed. Most people are tucking. Most people are tucking forward, yeah.

I'll take my bow now. Somebody else said leave it out like a wind sock. You can tell which way the wind's blowing. Especially when it's a southwesterly in Wellington. Farting on that strangle day and then pulling it out. It's a quick route to Pink Eye. Farting on that stringle day, that is the wild. oldest message we've ever received.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flash, Vaughan and Haley. Man, I had a chuckle last night. So I mentioned earlier in the show that I'm in Sydney at the moment and I opened my show at the Sydney Comedy Fest last night. And it was really, really fun. It was really great. But sometimes when I come off stage

and I'll go on Instagram, people have tagged me in photos, which I love. You know, they've taken photos during the show. Mm-hmm. And so he went in. Sometimes comedians are like, like, don't because it ruins this show for people. No. I love it.

Well, I just love it. It's great promotional. And I'm like, have you having fun? You like it enough to take a photo? That makes me feel good. So I opened Instagram as I got off stage because I've got to just like hang out until they're gone and I can clear my stuff. And I went into my requests.

I could see it some requests. And there was someone who was literally just at the show and they'd tagged me in their story. Okay. And then, you know, so they had their phone up during the show and they'd taken maybe like four different slides of me perform. and I was like, oh, look at this. I think did you repost those because they look good.

I reposted some of them. He took really cool photos. And then I tabbed along to his next story and he'd shared a reel. And then I tagged along to a next one and he'd shared a something else. And I was like, hang on, but I just got off state. So that means. He was recording. Photographed me at the start, uploaded them and then was just on real steering motion.

show and then they uploaded those as well. Oh, so wait, the reels that he uploaded weren't reels of your show. He was just sharing other comedy reels. No, just other content. So after he took the photos of me, he just gone on reels during my show while in my audience,

which is not great feedback. No, but do you think that's just how people are now? Like, even when you're watching Netflix or, you know, a movie or a TV show, you're still on your phone as well? I know, but during a, it was like 30 minutes, huh? Yeah, you I've already lost you.

Yeah. It wasn't that engaging? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was a good immediate feedback that maybe at the 30-minute mark there's a bit of a lull in my show because he was loving it at the start enough to take videos and photos of me.

I found him. He's sharing heated rivalry memes. Yeah, heated rivalry meme, that's right. It sounds like he's a gay. So this will be it. He would have been... The show is for the gays as well. No, but it's vagina heavy.

So I'm just saying he might have chained out at the Vag Chat. He might have just tuned out at some of that. Right. Because there's a bit of that, Haley. Hey, no, we take all this feedback on board, don't we when we're crafting a show. Oh, yeah, with feedback welcome, but I just reckon try my show. Don't go on real. Hey, guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough.

They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. See, I would concentrate more on the shitter podcast that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no, we'll just... Yeah.

Maybe we won't say nice. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Oh, no, but only after Alves. Yeah, nah, no, don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.