ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 22nd August 2023

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Silly Little PollTop 6: Worst things about being 20What's your dating requirements?Girl Math!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Good morning everyone. Good morning. You're starting the day positive with us, a new infringement notice from the police. And I got a parking fine.

Okay, so a great morning to check the mailbox then. Oh, I've had such a good start to the morning. It's been so, it's so far the day's off to such a hot rocking start. If I could put a positive spit on it, only Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Nope. Three more sleeps

till we get to go up the waz again. Oh, okay. Well, that's really turning around. Yeah. Up the waz. Up the waz. Friday night. Up the waz.

Coming up on the show, the top six. There is a 20-year-old on the list for Te Pāti Māori. So if they get enough votes, there'll be a 20-year-old in Parliament. God, remember being 20? Yeah. I was a nightmare. It was just before I met Aaron.

Peak nightmare. Oh, yeah, there's no way that, like that you'd know what's going on, right? No. And just what you'd be subjected to by the public alone would be horrible. That's a lot for a 20-year-old. What are the top six worst things about being a 20-year-old MP? Coming up at the top six. Now that would be more specifically about me being a 20-year-old MP. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. As I don't know this 20-year-old MP. Coming up at the top of the site. Now, that would be more specifically about me being a 20-year-old MP.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. As I don't know this 20-year-old MP. She seems pretty switched on. It always blows my mind how very mature some people can be. And how immature some others can be. Totally. 8 o'clock this morning, the first Taylor Swift song. You're going to be listening at 8, 12 and 4 to win

today's double pass. To see Taylor Swift live at one of her Sydney sold out shows. But next, I know Hayley, this will cheer you up. You love true crime. I love true crime. I have a crime story. Thank you. A bit of DNA in there. Is there white

women? Yes. Are they being moided? Are they being moided? Are they being moider? You love a true crime mystery. I do. But I've just literally, suggestions welcome. Yep. I've literally just finished like all of them, like caught up to all of them.

I need more moider. I need more betrayal. Are you saying that you've exhausted the entire podcast? No, no, but all my recommended ones are done Right, okay, so you need something true crime and juicy I just listened to one called Who the Hell is Hamish by The Australian Now that's about a guy who scammed a whole lot of people out of millions of dollars Saying he was a big time like you know wall street guy right

really good but it's done now he's good did he get murdered well i can't say spoiler alert spoiler spoiler alert oh well if you've got a suggestion fire it through um but in florida a woman was suspected of killing her 79 year old uh flatmate uh police turned up. They said, look, we're going to have to get your DNA. Right. Because I think the guy, they found the guy. It's pretty gruesome. I think she tried to set the house on fire, the flat on fire. Oh, good Lord.

He had a blunt force trauma. Oh, God. She's really killed him. And so the police said, look, we're going to have to get some DNA off you. Right. And she doused herself, according to police reports, in Mountain Dew. In an attempt to hide the DNA. She did the Dew.

You'd go vinegar, right? You'd go vinegar, you'd go bleach, you'd go anything but Mountain Dew. Yeah, don't people use bleach to clean scenes? Yeah. But you don't bleach yourself. You don't bleach yourself. Well, that depends. People do bleach themselves.

I used to before the wonderful laser. The anus. No, the anus. I like to keep that nice and textured. You're an au natural, girl. Oh, of course. Who's faffing about there? What mountain dew?

Was that all she had on hand? They found her DNA on the knife Wait did it Wait so what kind of DNA Was she trying to get off herself His DNA Yes His DNA

Trying to So it worked Well No I don't believe so Because there was enough DNA Not only on the knife She should have Mountain Dewed the knife She should have Mountain Dewed the knife

She should have soaked a sink full of Mountain Dew Yeah What a funny thing to reach for. How much Mountain Dew does this woman stock in her fridge at one time? I don't know, but enough to tell herself in Mountain... Guess the state that she's from. Florida. Did I say Florida?

Yeah, it's a Florida. I was going to start there and work my way up through the other states. Yeah, it's always Florida. The southern states love a Mountain Dew. They love a Mountain Dew. It was invented down there. Yeah, I don't think this is going to be enough for a podcast. Sorry, but.

What would it be called? Mountain Dewing Murder. G-U-N-A. G-U-N-A. The DNA. G-U-N-A. Yeah. M-D-E-N-A.

Collecting their D-E-W. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. I mean, it would be a one Working title Yeah that thing is She murders him And then Covers herself in Mountain Dew

And she gets Found 11 past 6 Now here's Up next Something for the finer people In life Like myself

Right There's a TikTok trend going around And I'm going to give All of these a go Okay A food pairing Play zms fletch

vaughn and hayley lots of rules around pairings of wine isn't there fish fish and chicken white steak red and then all the like celebrity chefs were like ah wine's wine drink wine as you like wine yeah but you wouldn't have a pinot Noir with a curry. I would. Would you? I would want a curry. You were going like a Rogan Josh? Yeah, like a darker, non-cream based curry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Real rich. Prefer a Coke Zero when I'm having a curry. Yeah, you do. How good... Oh no, you've put me off. No, I'm back. How good is a red wine with like a ragu though? Hold me back because there's red wine in the ragu.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's meta. It's double wine. It's double wine for the price of one. Yeah. Well, someone shared on TikTok and it's doing the rounds of how to pair wine with potato chips. Now, this is my mum. This is my mum at about 3.30, 4 o'clock in the afternoon at home.

Little bowl of Tatey chips. She's only ever really salted. Oh, I'm sorry. Patsy Ann Sproul hates a flavoured chip. Was that a thing that she started when you were younger because kids don't really eat unflavoured things? Yeah, we wanted cheese balls. Yeah, exactly.

The finer chips. So then she doesn't have to share. Yeah, probably. Everyone knows you've got to eat spicy food or tell your kids it's spicy if you don't want to eat it. Oh, no, you don't. You wouldn't like these. So someone's put together the perfect pairing of wine and chips. And a lot of these I can absolutely get on board with.

Well, can I start with my favorite? Yes. Prosecco and cheese balls. My God, he is a man of class and finer taste. Trash. I mean, people say this, but every time we have a party, every time,

what are the first chips to go? The cheese balls. Honestly, because I would never buy them, and when they're there, I'm always like, good God, what are these doing here? They're amazing. I have them, and and next I'm having them by the handful. Yeah, number one chip. Well, their pairing for a sparkling like a Prosecco or a Champagne is just a ready salt. I like a ready salted chip.

Because the salt kind of compliments it. Yes, it's just kind of a nice classic dry pairing perhaps. Would a salted vinegar work as well? Salt and vinegar that they've put with a more of a sweet wine like say a Pinot Gris or a Riesling. I would have thought a buttery

chard would have been a salt and vinegar because it's not offering too much and salt and vinegar is offering you that punch. Well they haven't done all the wines so maybe that. Is there no chard? There's no chard on here. There is a Chenin Blanc which I love. What about a chard? There's no chard on here There is a Chenin Blanc which I love What about a chard? It's a very popular New Zealand wine

Well Chenin Blanc is almost like a chardet A chardet my wife Who by the way gets called chardonnay all the time I bet she does And when she gets called it And she's like She takes it and then I side eye her She's like

She's angrier at me for looking at her funny than she is at the person who just called her Chardonnay. Well, Chenin Blanc's like a Chardonnay, and a Sauvignon Blanc had a baby. Right. Like a richer Sauvignon Blanc. It's so good. And what chip goes with that?

Sour cream. Sour cream and chives. Oh, the snack-a-changies. See, I love a sour cream and chives. That's my number one chip. Yeah. That's my number one. A barbecue-flavored chips, that's going with your robust reds okay which i get like a deep rich

burnt smoky flavor with a nice robust red yep they've got shrimp chips you know they're like with a rose really a light pink and pink yeah maybe okay pink and pink? Yeah, maybe. Okay. Pink and pink. They've got a buffalo blue cheese. Now, I'm imagining this is maybe from America. I wouldn't say that's a popular flavor here. That goes with a Riesling. Now, that makes sense. Blue cheese and Riesling.

Yeah, right. Yeah. What about... Does it have a salve in there? No. Or was that that? I'm going to go best potato chips with Sauvignon Blanc. Yeah.

I mean, I can do that. I mean, it's the Ki Blanc. Yeah. I mean, I can do that. I mean, it's the Kiwi wine. Yeah. I love a saff. The savalanche. That's what they call it when they're harvesting the salves. There's so many salves grapes. They call it the savalanche.

Yeah. Do you have any pairings for pals there? I don't. No. Okay. I don't. Munchos. Tomato, spicy tomato munchos.

Oh, my God. Doritos. This makes sense because Gewurztraminer My mum loves It's sweet isn't it I only drink it if I'm having curry or Thai Because it goes really well with it And they're saying a perfect pairing for Gewurztraminer

Is a Dorito Spice and sweet Yum Oh my god Pringles They're saying is the best for a Sauvignon Blanc or a pretzel. Pringle or pretzel? There you go.

So you've got to think about it. You've got to think about your parents. I'm not eating pretzels because they're so dry. You drink the water and get them down. You always get quite boozed eating pretzels. 18 past six. Next on the show, the top six. Yeah, the top six worst things about being a 20-year-old MP.

Hello there. Not since 1850. 1853. Has there been a 20-year-old elected to New Zealand Parliament? In 1853, there was one. James Frederick Stuart Wortley. Oh, good Lord. James Frederick Stuart Wortley.

My father said I made quite the politician. Was elected in 1853 at the age of 20 years and 7 months. He died at the age of 37. So, I mean, it'll kill you. It'll kill you. Well, they didn't live long back then. That was probably your average lifespan back then, wasn't it? Yeah, probably on opium and all sorts of weird things.

Yeah, the good stuff. Add in the stress of parliament, and he died at age 37. It doesn't say what he died of or anything. Just died at 37. How was that, eh? Someone died at 37 in was that someone died of 37 at 37 in the 19 and the

1800s and everyone's like oh I didn't even really need to write down why yeah do you want to should we see why he's 37 years old good innings old fella well it could change the current the current polling

indicates that Te Pāti Māori will get their number four on the list and that is Hana Rawhiti Mapi Clark, aged 20 currently. Will she beat, and how many months does she have? She will, by the election she'll be yeah, yeah, she'll be just younger than him.

Oh, so she'll win. Yeah. Take that 1800s, Wortley. Yeah, suck it, Wortley. Suck it, Wortley. Don't tell Wortley to suck it. He would have been, at your age, he would have been dead for years. I know. I couldn't imagine me as a 20-year-old representing the people in Parliament.

Who would want to? People suck. I was hitting to clubs. I was hitting to bottle. I was hitting to bottle. I was at drama school. You were a shitbag. I was a little shitbag. I hate people now more than I did at 20,

and I hated them a fair bit then. Bugger representing them. But also, it's hard enough for growing adults, people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, to put up with the punishment of what they deal with in Parliament. That would be horrible. And you have to have, I'm not saying that she doesn't have life experience. Maybe she does, but far out, man.

You've got to have a thick skin to be in Parliament. You've got to be able to take it. People are awful. I was about to say you need to have a maturity, but then I've seen Parliament TV. I think maturity is actually something that politicians need. Genuinely, I think you need a lack of maturity. The top six worst things about being a 20-year-old MP. Number six, no hotties.

No one. No one in your age bracket. We did that game where we held our breath and looked at all the party lists so we had to find someone we'd sleep with until we could take a breath, and sometimes we went blue and passed out. Sometimes we had to be brought back to life, didn't we? You did have a thing for some of the old white guys in National didn't you

yeah the old white guys and the young boyish lesbians yeah just big on that National didn't have too many of those

though did they National certainly did not and Kiri's gone so yeah that's really cut things down

to just Chloe isn't it? Yeah. God. Go to. Number five on the list of the top six. Go to. You'll go to.

Top six worst things about being a 20-year-old MP. Parliament seems like a terrible place to have a hangover. Oh, yeah. Like Muldoon just kept drinking. Dusty. Yeah. Dusty. I'm in those big seats.

They could be. Yeah. But then Muldoon, yeah big seats. They could be. Yeah. But then Muldoon, yeah, he just kept drinking, didn't he? That was his secret. He called a snap election. Punch someone in the guts. Yeah. And then Vicargo once, because he'd had a few scotches on the way to some union workers.

He gave them a knock in the guts. Maybe we need a bit of Muldoon up the top. Maybe we need someone who's not afraid to punch someone in the guts. Maybe Luxon will hit the bottle and punch someone in the guts. Punch someone in the guts. He's got the same haircut. He's got the Muldoon do. Might make him more likable.

Yeah. Be punched someone. Imagine if that's what it took you to be more likable. Number four on the list of the top six worst things about being a 20-year-old MP. Adding ageism to the racism and sexism that you'll already experience. Oh yeah. All the isms. How hard it is being a politician. Add into the fact

that she's female. Add into the fact that she's Maori. Add into the fact that she's 20. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six worst things about being a 20 year old MP. The dress code. Oh yeah. yeah dress code sucks near millennial

because she wants to wear like a hoodie and some baggy jeans as well as her right to be comfortable yeah for a day on the couch that's what they love

don't they the MP chair or whatever you call that green thing number two on the list of the top six worst things about being a 20 year old MP the portfolios

are all very boring yeah they're all boring like there's no Minister of Lollies that would be my one stop it being a 20-year-old MP, the portfolios are all very boring. Yeah. They're all boring. Minister of Lollies. That would be my one. Stop it. Minister of Lollies. There should be the serious ones

and then the fun ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Minister of Lollies. Or Minister of Lollies. Or Minister of PlayStation. Yeah. Or just Minister of Recreation, like fun stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Minister of Hidden Clubs. Minister of Day at the Beach. Ah! Minister of Recreation, like fun stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Minister of Hidden Eclipse. Minister of Day at the Beach. Ah! Minister of Hydra Slides. We don't have enough Hydra Slides. No, the Minister of Hydra Slides would have absolutely warned it over the recent YWEDA demolition, wouldn't it?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They would have had some questions to answer. How did they let this happen? And number one on the list of the top six worst things about being a 20-year-old MP, the Parliament pool car insurance premiums. They probably don't want to pay the raised one because you're under 25, so you're probably

just going to have to be driven, not drive. Oh, that'd be nice, though. Sometimes that's nice because you get to look, you get to, you know, appreciate the view. Especially when you're working in Wellington, corny place at 1am, where's my driver? Brilliant. Pull up, I'm outside J&M's. Do you want some Sweat and sour pork

Yeah Definitely because It's Wednesday And I've got Parliament tomorrow And I simply cannot Be hung over Even though I'm turning up In my track pants

And hoodie That is the day Stop sex I think if people Would say Who's the worst driver The rhetoric is That it's women Right That women Are terrible behind The wheel We're flighty if people would say Who's the worst driver The rhetoric is That it's women right

That women We're terrible behind The wheel We're flighty Do people still say that I'm an excellent driver Heavy on the foot Well this is

The other day When we had to go to a cafe And it was like Who do you want to go with Fletch Vaughn or Hayley I went with you But you drive faster

So I like that Yeah I know But then Vaughn started racing me Under the speed with you, but you drove faster, so I like that. Yeah, I know, but then Vaughn started racing me. Under the speed limit, thank you very much. We were in traffic, but we were trying to... Well, the chimney just simply does not go over the speed limit. I think you said the chimney.

The chimney. It drives like a chimney. It does not go over the speed limit. No. It almost could be steam-powered. It's that slow. Vaughn did win me, but more out of just more tactic based than speed wasn't it yeah well um when it comes to parking not the case research has found so uh

more than one in five male drivers 21 of them admitted to being involved in a minor collision when parking in the last year compared to 14 percent of females including hitting other vehicles and bumping into objects like bollards we've all had a bollard oh you've all had a bollard remember that time you've reversed into a bollard yeah yeah dumb height it was a dumb height bollards walls fences god it's like when you go in a mall or like a car park and you go around the corners and you see the wall just like scraping up. But some of those car parks with the turny ramps are so tiny and tight. I know.

If I'm ever driving Aaron's Ute, I'm like, what do I do here? Do I have to go pick up the tail and kind of move it around? 16% of men have hit another car or a stationary object up to four times in the last year while parking compared to 8% of women. Men are also found 50% more likely to hit another car. Okay. 50%, 6% of men admitted to up to seven accidents over the space of a year. This is not good. Compared to 4% of women.

Also, how many of either men or women are actually owning up to this, leaving a note on the other car? Probably none, eh? Not in my research here. Okay. men or women are actually owning up to this, leaving a note on the other car. Probably nah, nah. Not in my research here. Okay. But 53% rate themselves, men, 53% of men rate themselves as good parkers compared to 37% of women.

We don't believe in ourselves, despite being better. Now, sometimes I'll park. I'm so good at parallel parking. You are good, Aaron gives me a little round of applause. Does he?

Is that condescending? I'll pull into a play and be like, oh, as if. Yeah. I'm like, watch parallel parking. You are good, yeah. Aaron gives me a little round of applause. Does he? Is that condescending? I'll pull into a place and be like, oh, as if. Yeah. Watch and learn, hon. And I'll back it in. Wow. Pipe, but I'll get in there. When's the last time you had a ding, though?

Have you ever had anything in a... I've never hit anything in that car. I think I've never, I've been hit, but I've never caused a ding. Oh, no, we went camping once And I backed into a bollard Dumb height though Dumb height They're called trees in the wild Big bollards No massive bollards

Yeah yeah It's got leaves Like big bushy It had like other bollards Off the side of this main bollard Yeah yeah yeah Yeah that's a tree And then there's mini little

Sort of like flags off it Those are leaves Were they green? Yeah green flags Yeah leaves Dude I know a tree Okay And then there's mini little sort of like flags off it. Those are leaves. Were they green? Yeah, green flags. Yeah, leaves. Dude, I know a tree. Okay.

And I know what a bollard is. Yeah, no, no, no. I would. Far be it for me to correct a woman. That sounds like nature's bollard. I don't want to mansplain trees. I don't know who made the bollard. It was ginormous. Literally like a three-story building.

Oh, so they used to make them. Yeah. Did it have bark on it? Well, it had a coating on it. They painted it With some kind of Rough texture Right okay

All the other bollards It was slightly different Yeah If you were making Your partner toast How would you serve it I'm gonna say Make your own toast

Yeah with a fricking smile And be like Well now what do I get Get in. Well, this was more how do you serve it with regards to the bread cut into what shapes? Okay. One, triangles. Oh, no.

Two, squars. Or three, uncut. See, uncut. I love ripping. Do you rip or do you just eat the whole thing? I don't rip. I just pick it up and eat it Rip it with my teeth Yeah okay

Do you rip your toast apart Sometimes I just love And have a little rip Man last night We had toast for dinner I made shakshuka On toast What's shakshuka

You know like tomatoes And capsicum and spices And you crack the eggs into it And you cook the eggs in it Oh yeah Turkish Yeah Delish Did you cook in a tang it Oh yeah Turkish? Yeah Delish

Did you cook in a tangine? I don't have a Targine? Tangine Targine Did you pop it in your tangine? No I put it I didn't shove it in my tangine

Yum Was that all? I felt like there was more to the story No it's just we had toast And you didn't cut it And it was uncut It was uncut We'll pour it on the toast?

No, we had the toast underneath with the chicken on top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're going to put eggs on top or something on top, like something straight out of the tangine, you don't cut the toast. You do that with a knife and fork. You get it out of your tangine onto the uncut toast. But if you're serving up something else.

It's a tagine. There's no in in front of it. It's a tangine. It's no in in front of it It's a tangine It's a targine The results are in If you were going to cut it Triangles, 19% Squares, 16%

Uncut, 65% Yes, it won Because grow up No offence Vaughn You love Uncut Well we Well Vaughn didn't have a choice in the matter I was a baby

We're talking about the foreskin over here What are you going to do about it The rich kids in school always had triangle cut sandwiches, so we do too, damn it, says Shelly. We're talking about toast, though. We're talking about toast. It's a different role. Maybe it's just all bread is cut in triangles.

Oh, yeah, because would you cut a sandwich? Because it looks like a club. It looks like a club. Do you know, I don't know if I cut a sandwich triangle or just halves. It depends on the contents of the sandwich. It depends on the bread, too.. It depends on the bread too. And it depends on the bread.

Because if it's a big bit of bread, you cut it. But if it's like a smallie, like a Vogueley's dude, it doesn't need to be cut. No. You can just hand that. Okay. Angela says, I prefer it cut either or, either or, but triangles are king.

But my fiance likes his whole and always serves me whole toast so I've selected whole because that's how I serve it for him that was the question Angela you followed the instructions as opposed to old sandwich features who came in talking about sandwiches we're talking about toast. Grumpy Lisa's back Grumpy Lisa

always replies in a grumpiest tone. In a stern tone. He's a grown. Yep here it is. Oh yes he's a grown. Yep, here it is. Oh, yes. He's a grown man. He can cut his own toast if he wants it cut. Oh, Lisa. I'll make it.

Only because, again, he's a man and he's messy, but cut it your damn self. Grumpy Lisa. Always grumpy. No, but I feel like we're all a bit grumpy and sad at the moment. No, but Lisa's been grumpy for years. She could have just told us the story, but she tells it grumpy. I love it.

She's grumpy Lisa. Not grumpy Lisa. Another Lisa. It says rectangles. So she's just gone in half. Oh, yeah. Okay. I would have put that under the squares umbrella personally.

Yeah, same. Sort of a non-triangular cutting option. Sophie says, toasties have to be triangle Toast has to be squares And sandwiches have to be halved Do you know what? I'm kind of on board She's right She's got her cutting dynamic down

Is there even a toasted sandwich maker That does halves? Or are they always triangles? No They were triangles or panini The pockets were triangles Right If it seals

It was always in a triangle Yeah That's what I thought. But if you didn't want the triangle toasted sandwich, you just had to make it like a panini press. Yes. You still go triangles though. Like a Reuben. Oh my God, my favorite sandwich in the whole country is halves.

Not triangles. Oh, yes. Okay. I don't know what even the world is anymore Kate Kate weighs in with He can cut his own damn toast Grumpy Kate

Grumpy Kate Cut the man's toast Kate She'll never beat Lisa though Consistently grumpy If Lisa's ever happy one day Yep I won't know what to do with myself Yeah

Calvin says triangles Because if her lazy ass can't make her own toast Then I'm going to treat her like a bloody child Jesus This wasn't about like Is your partner a piece of shit? It was about if you were nicely making your partner toast, how would you cut it? Yeah.

And it's toast. It's not like they asked you to paint the entire house yourself. They just asked if you could toast. Triangles show you love them, says Rachel. Oh, bless. Oh, bless. Happy Rachel. Happy Rachel. Uncut because my partner is an adult. Triangles show you love them Says Rachel Oh bless Oh bless Happy Rachel Happy Rachel

Uncut because my partner Is an adult Says Kurt Yeah So they can eat a whole Piece of toast What a sass there With their own mouth

What a sass in these results It's the rain isn't it It's the cold and the rain It's the cold It's the shitty weather Yeah It's that time of year Apart from Lisa

Around the country Be around baby Zed Inns Fletch Vaughn And Hayley. Now, a man got a tattoo. Is it up the waz?

It's not, but I bet there's a few of those. Absolutely. A man got a tattoo. It was a huckery tattoo. It's on his neck and it says fearless and cursive. Original. What was that in the night? No fear.

Is it still around? Is that still a brand? Was that a brand? Yeah, it was a mot motocross brand yeah yeah it was a brand it was a brand like an extreme sports brand but definitely more motocross than it was like yeah skateboarding or anything like bmx no skateboarding's their big thing i thought no fear was always motocross and bmx yeah i thought it was motor no you're thinking of the fox one oh no fox definitely always motocross and BMX. Yeah, I thought there was moto. No, you're thinking of the Fox one. Oh, no, Fox definitely was motocross. Yeah. Both super cool.

Yeah. Super cool. Are they cool again now? Probably. They've always been cool. No, no, they've always been cool. It's just that our parents were too poor. Oh, yeah.

My dad, I remember when we asked if we could get a motocross bike, he's like, we've got one. We've got the farm bike. I'm like, you can't do jumps on that. And he's like, yeah, you're damn right you can't do jumps on it. It cost me a fortune. I'm not buying a motorbike for you dickheads to do jumps on so you can hurt yourself and have your mother all worried.

You've got push bikes. Cut an ice cream lid and put it in your spokes and then if you pedal hard enough It goes And you pretend you've got a motorbike Oh god And get out there Yeah

We lived in the country Hayley can't relate Because she went to a private school But this is what it was like She probably had a motocross bike Had a horse Yeah I did Yeah I rode

Her horse probably rode a motocross bike He did He hopped on the bike And then I would hop on him And we'd trot off to Queen Margaret College. And you'd be in your No Fear and your Fox gear. Yeah, my FUBU. The affluence.

Yeah. It was smack. Oh, God, I loved it. Well, this guy got a fearless tattoo on his neck. And where, how long ago? A little while ago. Okay. And now the problem is that's a Taylor Swift thing.

Yep. And everybody thinks it's a Taylor Swift tattoo But he's like It's not I'm fearless So fearless I had a tattoo on my neck But now he just looks

Like a Taylor Swift fan Now he just looks Like a big Swiftie Does he look like Someone that would Listen to Taylor He could He could

He's Yeah he definitely could I mean everyone listens To Taylor Yeah Do you know what I mean He's not that He doesn't look look, I mean, he's got, maybe he's just got wonderful skin and he's an old gent.

You don't see his like face front on. Okay. In the TikTok that I'm looking at. But also the woman that videoed it and asked him if he's a Swifty is a Swifty. So he must have been within the vicinity of a Swift related event. Yeah. Which is everywhere at the moment.

It's like COVID. Being a Swifty is like COVID. Everybody's catching it. Everyone's getting on. Everybody's catching it. I've got a tattoo that's changed meanings. I've got a J. My best friend got an H, and I've got a J.

But now it doesn't stand for Jason. It stands for Jason. Oh, my God. Okay. You never know if it was ever to happen. It doesn't stand for Jesus, it stands for Jason. Oh my God, okay. You never know if it was ever to happen. You'd be like, oh my God, is that for me? And I'd be like, sure. Yeah, sure it is.

Sure it is. 100%. I'll fill in the rest of it later. Baby. Next on the show. There is a new word to say when taking a picture. Cheese. No longer cheese.

Not cheese. No, because look at my face. It looks stupid. Now, a tech expert and someone who is very prominent on social media, her name is Kim... Kim...

Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim...

Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim...

Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim...

Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim...

Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim... Kim Komodo. No. Now she, yes. Kim Komodo. Kim Komodo. It's like calling your kid Ronald McRonald. It's a show sponsor.

Or Vaughn McVaughn. Yeah, Peter McPeters. Lachlan McLachlan. Yeah, yeah. Kim Komodo. Kim Komodo. Like a Komodo dragon. Yeah, I know, but you don't call your kid Kim if their last name is Komodo. Doodo it's probably a made-up name yeah okay hayley shmaley anyway watch out for my rebranding soon she is uh

she's a tech savvy expert and she's talked about how to take the best pictures be it a selfie or you know someone's taking a picture of you. Everything down from lighting to the kind of smile you want. You don't want like harsh direct lighting, but you also don't want under lighting because then it creates all these shadows and gives like every single. Gives you a few more chins. Yeah. Or down lighting. Absolutely.

Pops. Yeah. The cellulite. Let me tell you that. Oh my God. Clothing, like clothing stores with your down lighting. I don't need to see it. Do you think clothing stores need like ring lights?

They need ring lights. They need to make my skin glow. They always have like one down light down there and it just makes all of your skin look textured and lumpy. I'm sick of clothing stores making me look fat. Yeah. It's all you. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. You're not taking Any personal responsibility Absolutely not No no no In 2023 I will continue to blame Everybody but myself For my

Declining physical Presence Don't get me started On the companies That make scales They're busted mate Why are they Why does the number

Keep going up Yeah and when did we decide That a size 12 Is a different size now Yeah We just made it smaller. No one told me that. And food.

Yeah, food. You know what? They keep putting it in your mouth, don't they? They do. Yeah, I know. Yeah. There's people coming over and shoving it in my mouth. They keep putting it in stores, and the stuff that's good for you costs more, and it's yuck,

and the stuff that's bad for you is cheaper, and it's yummier. What's up with that? Do you know one of her tips? I simply must have words with somebody about this. Oh, I know. Who put all the calories in alcohol, by the way? When did that become a thing? Because it wasn't there 10 years ago, I'll tell you that.

I know. And then I drink some and I'm like, fantastic, and I have some more and then I drink more and then I forget to stop. Yeah. And then I don't feel good. And the 5kgs that they've got at the plates at the gym, when did they turn those into 10s? I mean, it's just, I used to be able to do so much more

and now they've added weight to the plates. It really is everybody else's fault, isn't it? It really is. Do you know one of her tips for... Who keeps putting cigarettes in my mouth? Who keeps lighting these cancer sticks? I don't want them. Gosh.

See, she got a few tips, right? One of them is... Also, I just can't get enough. Why do they keep making horses run so fast and putting my money on them? I know. I know. I was trying to find my wallet the other day

and I was like, where is it? And someone was like, it's at the TAB. And I was like, who's right there other day and I was like where is it and someone was like it's at the TAB and I was like who's right there can I just watch a horse run without them making me spend my money on

trying to guess which horse is the fastest and don't get me started on those fun things that money gets put into that sing you a song and ring a ding

ding ding ding and then some lights flash and then the money comes out they just take it don't they we've got a locksmith

coming over today because some seamstress broke into my house and made all my clothes smaller over today because some seamstress broke into my house and made all my clothes smaller. Now I'm like, you can't break into my house. No, no, no. She's come in in the night and sewn all the sides. So you're going to change the locks

so that your clothes fit again? Yeah, well, people keep coming in and tightening them. Right, okay. Moving the buttons and stuff. It's really bizarre behaviour. And who made drugs so delicious? Who keeps doing that? God, it really is everybody else's

fault is how dare they yeah okay give me a name okay one of her tips to have a really good photo is the mona lisa smile so you go like just don't smile because she's like and then your face folds yeah who did that by the way who cut all these lines in my face? Who cut all these little lines by my eyes? Who keeps making my skin softer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who came down and yanked my breasts lower? Yeah. Who keeps taking, who keeps making my penis smaller?

And the skin around it, like the tummy around it bigger? It seems like my tummy's getting bigger and it seems to be just absorbing my penis. Who did that? It's not a symbiotic relationship if they're both not getting something out of it. Who hid it under there? Why is it hiding? I have no idea, man,

but the same person's doing that crap to me and I'm over it. What else did she say? So smile like the Mona Lisa. So like a creep? So don't smile. Just turn up the corners of your mouth. I can't believe she looked like that.

No, that just looks weird, doesn't it? You look like a fish. You look like a special fish. You're one of those ones that dredge up from the deep sea. Yes, they're like... This is like the guy hanging out. Anglerfish. And one of those ones they drew out from the deep sea yes they're like hmm like hanging out angler fish and one of those

fish that doesn't have a name yet because it's been hiding for so long yeah so they just call it like David Kefofelmon because he found it

yeah the other one is that we don't say cheese because we go cheese that's not a nice smile we should say

yoga yoga yoga because that kind of opens your mouth in a nicer way but also i i can go yoga no i've got no chin and i look who keeps doing that who took your chin oh my god i woke up and someone had just taken the chin elves someone took it and they filled it with the soft stuff

the replacement of the bone yeah they took the bone and replaced it with just fat. You need to change your locks again. Who puts these grey hairs in here? Grey hair fairy. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan Ailey. Play ZM. There is a journalist called Jana Hocking in the UK and

she has I don't know if she's coined this term but she's sort of brought it into the light. Okay. Now, when she was in her 20s, she dated a man who she caught stealing a little bit of money from her wallet. And she was like, don't do that. What?

And then she stayed four years into the relationship. That's right. She stayed with him. Yeah. The red flags were going. Mostly, I think the giveaway was his stint in jail for stealing. Okay. She loves a bad boy then.

Loves a bad boy, right? Yeah. After that, she broke up with him and was like, ugh. Then she vowed. After that. I know. She stayed with him while he was in jail. After that, she was like, I'm never going to date.

She started doing well in her career. She studied and then he was like, why don't you just go get a secretary job? We'll go live here. And she was like, eh. I had enough of you. She started earning her own money and she made the decision that she would never, ever date someone

who made less money than her again. Ever. So she'd only date rich men. She's dating up or marrying up, she calls it, or the term is

hypergamous. A hypergamous relationship. So you're always dating up. You're dating up. Hypergamous. Defined as dating up and marrying up. A term used in social science

for the act or practice of a person dating or marrying a spouse of higher social status, income, all that kind of stuff. And now she said 10 years later after making that decision, she's never done

it and has had many successful relationships. I mean, when you say many successful, it kind of goes, well, they're not successful. They're over. Yeah. But you know, it just works for her. And now she will not. She simply will not date anyone.

She could be missing out on all these guys. She doesn't care. She doesn't care just because they don't earn as much money. Yeah. And she's like, look, I know, like light the pitchforks. Like, you know, come for me. No, you don't light the pitchforks in a good lynching. Someone's stabbing, someone's burning.

So you're lighting the torches. You light the torch or you grab a pitchfork. Don't light a pitchfork. A flaming pitchfork? What if I put my pitchfork covered in gasoline? Sure. Now it's on fire. Yeah, now it's on fire.

I guess it could work. It would burn out pretty quick though. I guess her point is you want to cover in a sort of a napalmy situation. She's expecting people

to come for her. Yeah, she is. Now she's dating a guy, her hypergamous man, fascinating career, high earner, can pay for himself. They go to fancy restaurants.

He's not asking her for money and it really, really works for himself. They go to fancy restaurants. He's not asking her for money, and it really, really works for her. So I want to know, what is the thing that you, the person you're looking at must have? For me? You would never date a short king. No.

You just love your tall men. They've got to be, what, at least seven foot? They've got to be big. I just really love a big dude, a real massive man. I've always dated a woman who had heads. Now, I don't mean to offend the headless community. Good morning to our headless

listeners. Good morning to our head amputees. But I call me old-fashioned. You'd never date anyone without a head. Interesting. You know, now that I'm saying it out loud, I feel terrible for saying it. Just because I haven't doesn't mean I couldn't. You could be cancelled for that too.

2023 people without heads will come for me. Producer Shannon, when you were single, did you have a criteria, a must have list? I think one of them would have been to date a magician. Yeah, gotta be a magician. They have to be able to be.

If you come in here and you can't flip cards or something. Basic illusions. Yeah, I'll hand him a deck of cards and see what he can do. No, but one thing that is serious is I don't have my full licence and I need to drive, like I need someone who's got a full licence and they've had to have it for two years so I can legally have them as a passenger. Or you could go

get your licence. Nah, it's easier to have a man drive me around. Wow! The feminism is oozing through the mic. I love a woman

who likes to be driven around. I make him drive me around. So it is feminist. Have you dated guys without their licence? I tried. I went on one date

and he's like, can you pick me up? I was like, no. Because I've been on my restricted for nine years. Yeah, so they ended that. Good on you for following the law there.

Yeah. Yeah, because most people wouldn't. They'd just drive around. Driving for this job every single day, I break curfew by 10 minutes. Oh, yeah. I'm so nervous. You can get an exemption for employment.

I mean, I should just get the full, I think, exemption. Yeah, it's been nine years. You should. You really should. We should do one of those things. We're on air. We're like, Shannon's getting her full licence. I think it would just be a bit sad because I don't even know how to parallel park at this point.

Oh, I can teach you. Oh, my God. Okay, yeah. I'm going to get behind the wheel. Well, whatever it may be, whether they have to be a magician or they have to be... A certain height? A certain height. Maybe a hair colour.

But maybe you're like this journalist. You've got to date someone who earns more money. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe you want to date someone, maybe you're a carer. And you don't, you can't. You only want to date people that earn less than you, so you care for them. It could be a thing.

You're kind of like a mum figure. You want to mummy a... Yeah. You know those guys that... Breastfeeding. You want to... No. That's a whole side of the internet.

I was meaning making their lunch and looking after them. A mummy baby thing. Yeah. So 0800 DALS at M. Give us a call now. You can text her as well. 9696. What's the one dating requirement you have when looking at a partner?

We are talking about a must-have for your partner. What is their dating requirements? Yeah, there was a woman who wrote an article about she will only date people who earn more money than her, who won't steal money from her wallet. Too much to ask? Too much to ask. It's hard out there.

And you'd only go for tall guys. I know that sounds terrible, but that'd have to be quite something. Yeah. I've gotten used to a big, big, big man. She likes a big boy. I like a big boy. Did you, before Aaron,

did you date guys your height? Hell yeah. Skinny, skinnyny Rock Boys Like emo Punk boys Yeah Not rock climbers Well they'd have good muscles Yeah they would

Jason Moore does rock climbing Yeah right Yep I wouldn't mind With a bloody handle On that wall Yeah Climb me

Nicole What's your must have If you're dating somebody Someone has to have An iPhone Oh yeah What So that you can iMessage Imagine green texting Your boyfriend must have if you're dating somebody? Someone has to have an iPhone. Oh, yeah. Imagine green texting your boyfriend.

No, no. Samsung's the red flags. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Great smartphones. Wonderful TVs. Yeah. Are we currently running any promotions with Samsung? Individually. Love their TVs.

Love their washer dryers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, great stuff. Couldn't you message him? What if he was real hot and he had a Samsung? Couldn't you just message him on Facebook Messenger or WhatsApp or something? You wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even know.

I've got to FaceTime them. I've got to FaceTime them. I've got to call them. I've got to text them. But you can FaceTime them in the apps. No, but I've got proof that guys that have Samsungs are red flags. Yeah, she knows. It's just try to test it.

You try. Like, we've actually got a mutual friend. I won't say who. that have Samsung's are red flags. Yeah, she knows. It's just, try to test it. You try, like, we've actually got a mutual friend, I won't say who, but their partner is Samsung till they die. It's awful.

And he's trying to convince them, but they won't. Also, he be jeebies, I can't do it. He be jeebies. It's that bad.

Even now and then, I need to borrow Aaron's phone, you know, for something, make a call, or take a photo or something. If that was not an iPhone, I'd be like,

how do I even do this? Where's the camera? You hold your finger in the thing and swipe to the side. What madness is that? Thanks, Nicole. Ask the messages in. They've got to be able to bring something practical to the table if there was a zombie apocalypse or an end of the world type situation.

That's fair. Strategy, brawn, or science knowledge. They just can't have a whole bunch of unpractical talents when it comes to survival. Like piano. Yeah. We've got to have entertainment in the after times.

Good skills for a zombie apocalypse. Hell yeah. You could organise the hell out of us. Yeah, but I wouldn't be good like... What are we, Airbnb? Let's book all our ACOM while we're making

the escape up north. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, you'd be real good. Okay, thanks. Guys, guys, we've got to run a little bit quicker carrying all these supplies. The Airbnb's expecting us at two.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said I'd be there at two. The owner's meeting us there, and if we're late, she may be bitten and infected. I would never date a guy in sales. Oh, why? I have a partner. He's not in sales,

but I've dated many men in sales, and it's horrible. I don't. Well, they're always trying to sell dated many men in sales And it's horrible I don't know Well they're always trying to sell you on things Or is it because they're always on those sales lunches And dinners And boozy On the road

On the road yeah Maybe Must have own teeth Yeah that's fair Wait but what if you've got a dental implant Yeah my dad's got one of those I've got an implant Yeah

Right at the back you can't see it Does it stay in there all the time? Yeah It looks like a normal tooth No he doesn't see it. Does it stay in there all the time? Yeah. It looks like a normal tooth. No, he doesn't take it out when he goes for a shag. Hang on. There you go. Get in there.

Otherwise, I might as well just bloody stay out, eh, Shagga? Hey, this guy? Shagga! What is that? I'm not trying to get a real lad's nickname off the ground for you. Shagga. No, absolutely not. Hey, Shagga. Energize, buddy. ground for you. Shagga. No, absolutely not. Hey, Shagga.

Energize money. Here he is. Shagga's here. So bogan. My friends tell me my type is guys with no neck. So she doesn't want men with a neck. Someone's saying hairy chest is a huge must. Oh, okay.

I like a hairy chest. My friends tell me No sorry Before I got married When I was dating They had to have nice toes Now Before I was married Was she settled for someone

With bad toes Or do you think She found her toe kick I've got those finger toes She wouldn't like me No no She can't have a barrier Yeah she wouldn't

They must be self sufficient Nothing sucks more Than a dependent Yeah Yeah exactly Oh Yep someone's I feel like I'm being attacked They must be self-sufficient. Nothing sucks more than a dependent. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yep. Someone's, I feel like I'm being attacked again on the foreskin. Yeah, no, must have a current.

Must. Must. Why did they take them off? Why did they take them off? How does it work? Shalom. Shalom. Wow.

Must be funny. Must have nice hands. Can't't have short stubby fingers ask the foreskin people if funny trump's funny trump's yeah because we've got funny today's yummy yummy uh comes to us from Australia. So, no word. This is apparently launching in Australia. There's a foodie called Russ Eats. Now, I'm a little bit sceptical. What does Russ eat? Anything, everything.

This does seem like one of those, you know, probably had the word from the PR company. Gorilla launch. Gorilla launch. It's a gorilla launch. A bit of gorilla marketing. He's wearing an Uber Eats hat Okay

And he's Yeah he's somehow Managed to find the Product guide I love this That McDonald's give their Outlets Their restaurants

Oh yep Shout out Shout out To the show sponsor Show sponsor We love them This is in Australia McDonald's soon

They're saying maybe in a week Or end of September Which is in a week No that's No no no No we're in August week or end of September, which is in a week. No, that's... No, no, no. No, we're in August. Fuel. This does sound like it'll be in September.

The Milo McFlurry. Milo McFlurry. Which, did you ever do this when you were a kid? You'd have like plain old ice cream because you wouldn't get the expensive ice cream and you just sprinkle like a ton of Milo on it I never did that And I feel

So yum I want to go back to the 90s and do it You've missed out You know why? You know what I reckon? She had the chocolate sauce that turned into a hard shell Yeah, chocolate She had chocolate

Oh, yes, we didn't have chocolate Oh my god, it was constantly And you probably had like the proper posh ice cream With all the lumps and gumps Yeah, we had Movenpick You would have had a Movenpick. You would have had a Gold Rush or a Goody Goody. No, my mum was French Vanilla.

Yeah, French Vanilla rules. See, Milo would have been perfect on French Vanilla. So the photo that has been leaked shows the McFlurry with... Milo balls. Milo balls. What are those? Is that like the Milo cereal? Remember they did a cereal and it was like the ball clusters?

Yeah, it might be. And then kind of Milo kind of spread throughout the McFlurry. God, Milo rules, eh? It was so good in ice cream. Like that just reminds me of like childhood. So good. Milo did an ice cream, eh? They did like a bar.

Did they? Yeah, I remember it. A short-lived. Like an ice cream bar. You know how sometimes like a chocolate barlived like an ice cream bar you know how sometimes like a chocolate bar will do an ice cream yeah short-lived yeah well yeah leaked in quotation marks uh in australia by a foodie so this uh coming to australian that high that high quality jpeg that's been uploaded is definitely leaked oh yeah that wasn't sent as an attachment to an email definitely wasn't, no.

So the Milo McFlurry, Australia, yes. Unsure if it'll come here, but surely, right? It's a sitter. Oh, come on. We lap it up. We lap it up here.

I'll lap it up. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. It's time for another edition of Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. Girl Math. It's time for another edition of Girl Math.

Where the girlies try to... Try. Try. Have we failed? I don't think it's going to fail you. Try to justify an exorbitant purchase. Yeah, and I'm really invested in this one. We welcome Lucy from the office into the studio.

Hello. Hello. I'm really invested because the purchase you are considering making, I've made. Oh, wow. Yeah, I've bought these myself. Did you at the time run a little girl math? Nope.

I bought them and just dealt with it afterwards. Right. But then the moment I used the product, Aaron was like, I get it. Oh, okay. So what are you looking at buying? I would love to buy the full set of bedding from Bedthreads. So that's an Aussie linen company. These ones always come up on Instagram or Facebook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they got me. So you're talking bottom sheet, top sheet, two pillowcases, duvet cover and then two pillowcases with the duvet cover. Oh my god, and all linen. Like that wash kind of what's in at the moment. Yeah, flex linen.

Yeah, right, okay. What colour are you thinking? Well, I put it together because it's like Sims. Yeah, the bundle. Yeah, you can make it work in front you thinking? Well, I put it together because it's like Sims. Yeah, the bundle. Yeah, you can make it work in front of your eyes. So that's how they get you. So I was thinking like a forest green duvet. I've got the forest green duvet. Oh, I could come and check it out.

You can. Like a pinstripe. It's quite rude to invite your Sim friend to someone's house. Oh, I'll invite you. You can come and lay on my bed. Why don't you bring the photos? Hang on. Literally the last time you two were at my house, you all lay on the bed.

Yeah. We were invited. We were invited. Lucy, you're invited. The minute I'm invited to a house, I'm laying on the bed. Straight on the bed. Also, that was the only place to sit

during your renovation. Look, besides the fact we have no furniture, everyone was laying on the bed. Yep. So, forest green duvet. Yeah, and then I was thinking maybe a little bit of a pinstripe sheet. Yeah, nice.

I've got the pinstripe sheet. Oh, my gosh. This is getting a little weird. Yeah. Similar. Yeah, and then I think it maybe a little bit of a pinstripe sheet number. Yeah, nice. I've got the pinstripe sheet. Oh, my gosh. This is getting a little weird. Yeah. Similar. Yeah, and then I think it was the pinstripe. Californian, the square pillow. Is that what it's called?

Yeah, the Euro. The European pillow. Opposite. Well, they're geographically named pillows. Yeah. And then the forest green. Other ones. So you've got one, two, three, four pillows, top sheet, bottom sheet, duvet.

So you've got seven items here. How much is that seven items going to cost you? I think it was $656. How much? Sorry? How much? Yeah, but the sleeping experience

is like no other. No, wait, I didn't hear that. Just 656, if you say it like that. 656, 650. You've got a linen. Don't you have a set of Sheridans? I love Sheridans. You sleep on Egyptian cotton. I don't sleep on, no, I've got, You don't have to go to Egypt for this. I don got a linen. Don't you have a set of Sheridans? I've got a lot of Sheridans.

You've got an Egyptian cotton. I don't sleep on, no, I've got, You don't have to go to Egypt for this. I don't do linen. I don't do, what do I, I've got,

I like cotton sheets. You do a high thread count cotton. I mean, you've already kicked us off with girl math because she's saving herself a flight to Egypt for God's sake. I googled, why is bed thread so expensive?

Maybe what I'm about to tell you could be worked into. Bit of girl math as well. This is a bit of research. Manufacturing linen is a laborious and time-consuming process. Linen is more costly than cotton because the flax plant from which linen originates demands more special care and attention. If you've ever had flax, that's bullshit.

That stuff just goes on for days. It's harder to weave without the risk of snapping threads. Yeah, it's very expensive. Also, do you know what I love most about sleeping on linen sheets, Ah, it's harder to weave without the risk of snapping threads. Yeah, it's very expensive. Also, do you know what I love most about sleeping on linen sheets, which I exclusive? The only time I sleep on cotton is when I'm over in Egypt at Fletcher's house. It's the breathability because I sleep hot and so does Aaron.

You've got a partner, right? Yeah, he runs hot. He runs hot. So if you've got to think about now you're sweating through whatever cheap sheets you're going to buy instead, you're going through the mattress protector. I looked one up online. What size is your bed? Super king. Yeah, we're looking at $200 there, so we can take that off the cost.

We're already at $456. And there's a partner in the bed, so you divide that by two. Well, there you go. $456 divided by two, that's $225-ish, $2.30-ish. I mean, let's cross over to the girlies now. We're already at $230. We're at $230.

Karwin, where are you at with the girl math? Well, see, my math was based off of basically rounding it up to $700, because anything that's over $650 feels like $700. Yeah, that's right. And so if you divide $700 by $365, that's how many nights you're probably going to sleep in in the better year,

that's already down to $1.90. $1.90 a night to sleep in these sheets, and that's only for a year. They last longer than a year. Exactly. We've had ours for years. And you divide it by two because there's two of you, and you're going halves in it, I'm going to assume,

because partners have a house together, that vibe. That's 95 cents a day. Each. Each. Oh, my God. That's a steal. And is that just for a year? Do you know what that is? It's not a steal. It Each? Each. Oh my God. That's a steal. And is that just for a year? Do you know what that is?

It's not a steal. It's basically free. It's basically free. It really is. And that's only for a year. I mean, my sheets, if we could do that, can you divide that? Because the ones we're sleeping on,

which is the green and the pinstripe that Lucy, you're after, we've had those for three years. So divide your 90 cents by three. Are they getting thin or holey? Hell no. This is quality. It's what she's paying for. I did fall asleep on a pair of on a massage gun on linen sheets

and it did rub a hole through it. So I will say don't do that. Well, don't leave your massage gun in the bed. You know, sometimes straight afterwards, you're so exhausted, you've just got to just put the board off. We're talking 30 cents. We're talking 30 cents each tonight.

Now, Shannon, I don't even know what you need to do with 30 cents. Is she going to be making money? Don't worry. I've got her solution to make money. So I've worked out bottom sheet, top sheet, and a duvet is two layers of linen, right? So we're talking four layers of linen. The area of a super king bed is four metres. So we're going four times four.

Four square metres, yep. So we're at four times four. Four square metres, yep. Yep. So we're at 16 now. 16 metres. 16 metres of linen. The average cost of linen in New Zealand to buy the fabric is $40 a metre. Yeah, it's expensive. 16 times 40 is $640. That's pure cost before the

pillowcases, before the stuffing for the duvet. Before the sewing, yeah. You don't need to buy a sewing machine. You're telling me Lucy's actually ripping off the company. There is no way you could get a duvet for cheaper. Far out. A linen one, yeah.

Of this quality, you could not make it for cheaper. Because you've worked out that math with just the bulk of the fabric. But the pillowcases, they're about $100 each. So now she's made $400. This is working. Yeah, absolutely.

And you're going to have a higher quality sleep. We do spend a third of our life in a bed. Good boy. We spend a third of our life in bed. We go to bed. Yeah. A third of our lives. We are in our house our life in bed. We go to bed. Yeah. A third of our lives. We're in our house.

That's right. You would have spent more money, Lucy, on worse things than somewhere where you spend a third of your life. 100%. Yeah. But I did just have a thought. You could always get new linen, and I'll buy the secondhand linen from you.

You want to buy mine and Aaron's three-year-old sheets? Man, Kate. I promise you, you don't. I promise you, you don't. I promise you, you don't. So where are we at? It's not basically free. Lucy's just made $400 in buying these sheets. Congratulations.

Making money. That's incredible. Add to cart. Add to cart. I think after that free promo on air, they should send you some free ones. Someone's messaged in, a fellow girl mathematician. Yeah.

You've got to deduct the cost of the spare sheets you don't need to buy because your linen ones are so much better quality, you won't need them. Yeah, you don't need them. Well, add another 300. And they dry so quickly, so you just, in the same day, you change your sheets. Wash and dry, wash and dry. But then I'm thinking, if she's making money off this, why doesn't she buy a second set?

But now she's going to have to find around $250, which is $125 each. Easy, because you could put it on the line to dry it. There's no hurry to put it in the dryer to get it straight back on the bed. And running a dryer is not cheap. You do that a few times, you've probably paid more off. Do that a few times. Plus, I know this website does 15% off if you share it on Instagram and tag them in it. So you made money again, babe. You got two sets of sheets out of it.

Why are we not running the country? Yeah. With this sort of mix. Yeah. I don't know. We will be. Bourne, just give it another week. We could bamboozle China.

So hot desking is when you work maybe in a more of a fluid workplace and you don't have your own allocated desk. I'd hate that if I worked in an office. Like, I want to know where I'm a creature of habit. I want my space. And what if you find a really nice space one day and the next day it's gone with a good view? Yeah, because Gary from the office is sitting in it Oh we've got a Gary don't we

But Bloody Gary's sitting Everyone's got a Gary Or Yeah you've got Your spot And they're there You've got a picture of Major Muzz

Are you going to move it every day Oh yeah what do you do with your pictures I think you have pictures I think hot desks are very plain But how are you going to remember What it's all for Like Homer Simpson Remembering it's all for her

For Maggie What Do you not remember that episode Very plain. How are you going to remember what it's all for? Like Homer Simpson remembering it's all for her. For Maggie. What? Do you not remember that episode? When he's working at the plant and everything goes wrong and at the end he pulls back some of the things that are there that Mr Burns has covered and it says, remember it's all for her or something in his pictures of Maggie. What about Bart and Lisa?

Screw them. They're little... They're brats. Brats, man. Bart's a brat, but Lisa's, you know, I misunderstood. Anyway, hot bedding.

Same theory. There's a bed and who's in it can kind of change or be a bit fluid. I think you're describing hotels. Or London OEs.

Yeah, I was going to say I feel like that's a bit of a London OE thing. If you can make it work, say, with a friend that works different hours than you. That's one version of it. I mean of a London OE thing. If you can make it work, say, with a friend that works different hours than you. That's one version of it. I mean, a cost of living thing.

Some people are doing this. Also, there's a story of a woman called Monique. And it started for her during the lockdowns. And she had split with her partner for a while. And then the lockdowns happened. And she's like really a social butterfly and an extrovert. Knew she wouldn't go too well on her own locked down yeah and he uh split his time between two cities visiting his child and she was like when you're here just not how lockdowns work

well i don't know if he was doing it then but when when like she was like well can you come and live here and live in the bed yeah and we'll we'll be fine. And then you can go again. But they were friends. They were friends. Okay, right. Yeah, because with a stranger, hotbedding would be weird. It would be unless, yeah, like you say, that you, like to keep the cost of the rent down, if you had someone who worked nights and you worked mornings.

Yeah, so you get up in the morning, get ready for work, and they're finishing their night shift. High five in the hallway. They get the bed, which you've pre-warmed. I don't want to get in someone else's warm spot. A pre-warmed toilet seat. It's like when you sit on a chair at a cafe or somewhere and it's pre-warmed. Oh, yeah.

It's hot. You're just like. I hate that. Yeah, a warm toilet seat is feral. I cannot stand it. But a warm bed? But maybe it's like you could have a system where you've got your own sheets and you come and you put your sheets on and then remove them.

Or you've got your side if it's a big enough bed. So if they're on the left, you're on the right. And then you're paying for one room but you're not sharing it. It's a pretty good idea. Because I was going to say have two separate beds, but a lot of the flats aren't that big enough to have two singles, even a double maybe at most. They're saying in Australia in particular,

hotbedding is gaining popularity because of sky-high costs and inflation. Which is sad, yeah. So insane. There was a woman, a 19-year-old woman from India, who told the news that she splits her quite expensive rent with a man who works night shifts as a truck driver. You're right. How do you know that works?

Maybe you're stinky. Don't you know what I mean? You don't have to ask and don't have a wash. You have a shower. You'd have to have some rules before you're hot. Got a shower before you jump in the bed. Got a shower, yeah. Yeah, she said she sleeps in the bed at night

while he's driving around and then he sleeps in the bed during the day. On days when he isn't working, she camps out on a mattress. In the storeroom. Oh that's not cool. But I would you know. If I went overseas for like a while.

To make this work. I'd do it with a friend. With a friend I think would be easier than doing it with people you don't know. A stranger. Who's in charge of the sheets? And when do you even have time to do the sheets? Because you would normally dry them when you're at work. Yeah, I know.

The weekend. I think you'd have to... You'd have to have two sets of sheets. And then, yeah, the weekend. Like, you're not working every day. Are you just sleeping bags? But that's for the days that she's camping out in the storeroom. Oh, yeah.

That's... Yeah. Or maybe, like, if you were a bit of a player, on the weekends you go out and you find another bearded German. Really backing yourself there, Sproul. I know, every night I'm like, I have to find someone. I need to go to sleep. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day is about chickens. I've got some chickens. I've got 10 new chickens and they're dumb. Are they dumb? They're dumb. They won't sleep in their house at night. Every night I have to go out and pick them all up individually and carry them in and put them in their house. Oh, God.

That's dumb. That's dumb. They sleep in the goat's house and they're all like on the in their house. Oh, God. Okay, that's dumb. That's dumb. They sleep in the goat's house and they're all like on the ground. They're not supposed to. They're supposed to roost up at night. Sit on... ...eggs yet? Yep.

Okay. The eggs have started growing. And still no free eggs at work. No, I want him to test them first, make sure they're juicy. They're good. Okay, see what bad. They're juicy eggs. They're like light pale yellow or something. No, rich, rich orange yolk. Yum, yum, make sure they're juicy. They're good. In case they're what, bad? They're juicy eggs. In case they're like light pale yellow or something.

No, rich, rich orange yolk. Yum, yum, yum. Good stuff. You know what I've been doing? Chucking them a bit of dog roll. What? Chickens love a bit of dog roll. I don't want to eat your dog roll eggs.

Chickens love a bit of dog roll. What do you mean? They've got enough. Give them pellets in the grass. No, they need protein. Make them a protein smoothie Or something A little bit of dog roll

I was like Because somebody said to me You try feeding them dog roll I said dog roll a lot Now it's lost all meaning How expensive are these chickens Nah it's the cheapest It was the cheap

Cheap cheap dog roll That I bought to try it on Now what are you feeding them But I did check It didn't have chicken in it Because I was like You can't go down that road It didn't have chicken in it

So They went And I just took have chicken in it so they went and I just took a little bit and they went crazy for it so every night and somebody said it's good for them

over winter a bit extra protein and they put on a bit extra size and such is this the fact of the day that chickens

like dog roll it's about chickens but it's not and so these chickens I need to carry every night I need to take them into their house

just do them ahead and they won't find their own way back in there. So I lock them in there now. Oh, yeah. And they can't come out until the sun comes up and the foxes are gone. What if the fire alarm goes off?

If somehow that shed in the middle of nowhere catches fire without any electricity involved in it. They're not going to be able to get out. Delicious, though. Yeah. That'll happen. Char-grilled. And carry them in. And then some of them will jump up on the roost.

Some of them will need to pick up and put on the roost. I've got some dumb chickens. Yeah. But anyway, they're laying eggs so they're doing their job.

But today's fact of the day is when the rooster started being called the rooster. Alright. Because they roost? It is because they roost. Because they came home to roost?

Because they make a delicious roost chicken? They're called roosters because they're a roosting bird, but they weren't called roosters until the 18th century, the late 18th century. Before that, they were called cocks. Right. Cockerels Yeah right

What's the cockerel? Le coq Is the French French yeah The French take on it And that's where the origins of cock came from From French But in the late 18th century

That word took on another meaning Yes it did Willy Yeah To the point where it spread And they were like We really need to give this bird a new name. They had a meeting.

They literally renamed it. They had a little bit of a committee meeting. Yeah. The chicken committee had a meeting on why we're going to call the anybody chicken committee, had a meeting to discuss what the male chicken was going to be called. Yeah. Because the name it had always been called had become derogatory slang.

Goodness me. Oh, goodness. And so they did. They had a debate about it and settled on rooster because it is a roosting bird. Well, that makes sense. And it wasn't until the late 18th century that that actually came around because of the word being hijacked. Yeah.

Funny that little willy slur. Yeah. Caused such a kerfuffle for the name of the male chicken. Renaming of the adult male chicken. So today's fact of the day is that in the late 18th century the cock became

the rooster. Fact of the day day day day day do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Day Day Day Day And breaking news Rihanna has had her baby Yes With ASAP Rocky

As soon as possible Rocky As soon as possible Rocky A baby boy Congratulations I heard there was confusion Has had her baby. Yes. With ASAP Rocky. As soon as possible, Rocky. As soon as possible, Rocky. A baby boy. Congratulations. I heard there was confusion in the delivery room because they're like, we've got to get this baby out. And someone said ASAP. And he said, yo.

Yeah. And they're like, no, as soon as possible. And he's like, only my mother calls me that. Only when I'm in trouble. And there was a bit of confusion, but they got it out. So this just hasn't happened It was earlier this month But it's been kept secret apparently

Called TMZ And they don't know the baby's name Just that it might start with an R Richard Richard Probably Richard That's the only R name I know Yeah

Richard Roger Robert Well we could be here all day Roy Roy's a great name Randy Now the World Cup is finished Tony, yeah. Richard. Roger. Robert. Well, we could be here all day, couldn't we? Roy's a great name. Randy. Now, the World Cup is finished.

I didn't get into it as hard as I originally imagined I would. But I know that the girlies did. New Zealand themselves did. Exceeding all expectations. So many tickets sold. It was amazing. Well done. I know.

Now it was Spain versus England in the final, wasn't it? Yeah. Yes. That's two footy-lo the final, wasn't it? Yeah. Yes. That's two footy-loving countries, isn't it? Indeed. And Spain took it out with an absolute rockin' score. I think you've got to stop eating dog roll eggs. Isn't there?

They're making me dumbed up. Dumb dog roll eggs? Dumbed up. You're getting more dumber I'm getting more and more dumber So they won 1-0 The scores were lower All throughout

But that's how football is Oh is it? 1-0 over England And Olga Carmona Was the Spanish Captain who shot that goal. So she's the hero of the team, right? Massive moment.

They're all getting a whopping paycheck. Huge. She comes off the field to find out that her father has passed away. Now that's awful. And her family waited. Yes, this is what is so controversial. Her family waited not to tell her. They decided not to tell her, sorry, and waited until after the game

so that she could focus. What a weird mix of emotions that after that game would be. Yeah. Because did she know? Was he ill? He was ill, right? So before the game, she knew he could go at any kind of moment. Was he on death's door or was it sudden?

Oh, my God, two days. They waited two days. He passed away on Friday, which was the 18th. And that game was Sunday night. Sunday the 20th. I mean, I get it. Would you want to know? It's a huge moment.

No. Because it would ruin you, right? You'd just be like. You can't focus. She's the captain of the team. It depends what sort of person you are. Like you either channel it. Exactly. To your advantage.

And I think if you're a professional sports person, you probably do know how to channel that sort of thing into your performance. I'm doing this for Dad. I'm going to get out there. And at the end of the game, it really hits you and you're like, you have your moment. But you tell other people who perhaps aren't professional sports people who haven't had that sort of mental training of the game

and it would just floor them. I know. Yeah, it does depend. When me and my brother were a bit younger, my mum had a melanoma cut out and then she told us and we were like, what? And she was like, yeah, but it's done now. My mum's done shit like that too.

Oh, your father came and got me from the hospital today. What? Why would we do it? Why? Unless you were just telling her something and you're like, oh, she's like, well, no one needs to worry about it. I didn't want to worry you about it

unless it was a thing. What if you had died? I wasn't going to die. You don't know that. You don't know that. I remember one marching nationals. I think I was like 16. My cat passed away over that weekend and my family didn't tell me.

And then I got back and we'd won nationals. And I jumped on the home laptop and I was playing The Sims and my dad just came up and put a hand on my shoulder and was like, hey, babe. This is like when he told you Jira was leaving the Spice Girls. Yeah, knocked on the bathroom door. Does dad break the bad news? Dad breaks the bad news. He's a good man to break the bad news. He is a good man. But dad told me straight away because he knew that with

Jerry leaving, he knew that I'd have to know. What more do you think? Jerry leaving or the cat dying? Equal? Jerry leaving. Nothing will ever hit as hard as Jerry leaving. But yeah yeah they delayed My cat news so that I could focus on Marching for the weekend

Yeah because if they'd told you it would have been a mess Yeah what if something like that happened on your Wedding day you know like Nan can't come Because you know she's unwell and then your mum's Sitting there and you're walking down the aisle she gets a text she's like Oh god Nan's gone Oh don't tell her it's her special day we'll tell her tomorrow Tell her tomorrow or the day after

Oh yeah we don't want to let's just say special day. We'll tell her tomorrow. Tell her tomorrow or the day after. Oh, yeah. We don't want to. Well, let's just say she dies tomorrow because then the anniversaries will, you know, sink up. I'll eat Nan's pudding. Yeah. Because I've already paid for the food. I'll eat up Nan's pudding so that the plate at the table is not a reminder. Yes.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Free pudding. Free pudding. Yeah. I think you're making the best of a bad situation there. Yeah. But we...

Nan would have wanted it this way. We want to know if you've ever been in this situation. If somebody delayed the bad news and why, did you have a big event on, like a wedding or... Or, like, what about end-of-year exams? You know, like, maybe your grandmother died and then you were... Nah, dude.

It was bloody humanities that day. What was that thing you could get if something bad happened? Compensation. Emotional compensation or whatever it was. Yeah, you get bereavement something or the other. Yeah, my friend got that. Wow. Yeah.

Or something horrendous has to happen. What about you're on a two-week Fijian holiday and mum and dad are like, oh, we won't tell you that someone's died. I know. It does depend. Like a grandparent. A grandparent. Well, yeah, you can't tell you that someone's died. I know. It does depend. Like a grandparent. A grandparent. Well, yeah, you can pop them.

Two weeks is a long time. Yeah, but what if it was like you had three days left in Fiji? Oh, yeah. I'll be home for the funeral. We'll tell them when they get back. Yeah, exactly. We'll have the funeral mid-next week. We want to know when the bad news was delayed.

Yeah, the captain of the Spanish women's football team was told after she came off the final, after making the winning goal, that her dad had passed away. Renee, what happened? Yeah, on my wedding day, unfortunately, there was a car accident and one of my good friends was killed. Oh my God, Renee. And so this is on your big day You're on your way to your wedding And so when did they tell you? They told me after I got my photos taken

So I had the ceremony Everyone was happy Congratulations We then got photos taken And then before going into the reception I got told then Oh my god Had you noticed that she wasn't there though?

No And there was a couple others missing too Oh my gosh Had you noticed that she wasn't there though? No And there was a couple others missing too Who were obviously crying in other areas Yeah But yeah didn't notice because I was so busy It's a busy day And do you Looking back at that

Are you glad they told you then Or do you wish you'd known before? No I'm glad they told me then I'm glad you wish you'd known before? No, I'm glad they told me then. I'm glad. How was the rest of the day? Terrible. Yeah, got to just let me tell you the next day. Oh, when's a good time to tell you that sort of horrible news, though?

Yeah, no. I'm so sorry you went through that. That's really awful. Yeah, wow. Man, that's... It's heart-wrenching, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's nothing.

Renee, thank you. Some messages in. Someone said, my dad is an absolute shocker at this and he always just claims he forgot to tell us. He's had two strokes and we didn't find out about it for weeks. It's like the protective thing, eh?

Like, oh, we won't bother them. Bother me! He badly burned his face and it wasn't until I saw him a few weeks later and I'm like, what happened? He's like, oh, this. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Old mates, eh? He burned his face and it wasn't until I saw him a few weeks later and I'm like, what happened? He's like, oh, this. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Old mate, say. He burned his face.

They put down two of the family pets but didn't want to bother me with that bad news so they didn't tell me until I went home and I realised that the pets weren't there. He's like, oh yeah, well I was meant to tell you or your mother was going to. Oh my god, old mate. So many messages, calls coming in. We'll get to more of those next when the bad news was delayed.

Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Goodness gracious. Man, life, eh? Got some ups and downs. We want to know when the bad news was delayed, like the Spanish captain of the football team. Dad died when she was playing the game.

No, Dad died two days before. And they didn't tell her because the final was coming up. Yeah, and they were like, oh, you know, she just want to focus on that. Somebody messaged in. She was already playing the game for her best friend's mum who had passed away the day before. Oh, some people just get it all, don't they? All at once.

Anonymous. Anonymous, good morning. When was the bad news delayed? Oh, goodness. Good morning. Wait, was that you or a baby screaming? Oh, sorry, that's my four-year-old in the car. I thought you were excited to be on.

No. So when I was seventh form, it was the night before my seventh form exams. I had to get 14 credits in history to get university entrance. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was studying very hard. I was a good girl. And I got a call from my cousin who was like five years younger than me. And she was like, hey, did you hear about your dad?

And I was like, no, what are you talking about? Like I saw dad a couple of days ago. She was like, your dad's in jail. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I mean, I don't mean to laugh. That's terrible. Yeah, and I was like, what do you mean?

And she was like, yeah, he's in jail. He's been arrested for, like, 60 charges. Oh, jeez. Okay. He's a bad dad. And you're, like, trying to learn about Hitler. Bad guy. Also a bad guy.

Yeah. Yeah. And so I, like, ran out to my mum and I was like crying. And I was like, oh my God. Like I just found out Dad's gone to jail. And I was like bawling my eyes out. And she was like, oh babe, I actually knew. Oh, she was trying to protect you.

And I was like, what do you mean? And she was like, oh, I was just going to tell you after your exams. And I was like, I was kind of upset at the start. I was like, I can't believe you didn't tell me and everybody knows. Well, she wants you to have UE so you don't end up in prison. Yeah. And now I'm a mum, I'm like, oh, my God. You get it.

Yeah. You tell your child just before they have. Are you a criminal? Have you been to prison? Are you a criminal? Have we been to prison? I'm just... Are you a criminal? Have we got a criminal on the line here? Wait, I need to know if you passed your exams. I did.

Yay! Well, bravo. How long was Dad in prison for? Oh, like nine years or something. With 60 charges, you know, you've got to work it out. Anonymous, thanks for your course of messages And when was the bad news delayed? I was in fifth form at boarding school

Doing school C exams My parents didn't tell me The family cat and dog Had passed away while I was studying Because they wanted me to do well in exams And also your parents don't love you Because you're at boarding school Yeah yeah

They'd rather pay someone else To take care of you And that's not cheap either So if you were to put a dollar amount On exactly how much your parents hated you, that's how much. That's what we used to tell our second cousins. Because we were the poor family.

But, you know, at least our parents love us. My mum and dad died. Oh, no, my mum and Nana died on the same day. No one told me about Nana for a week because I was already, like, inconsolable about mum. No, say at the same time you're already sad. Rip the bandaid off. Bandaid it. Now you've got to be sad twice. Sheesh. In two weeks.

Yeah. Um, I'd just given birth to my son but my Nana had passed away at around about the same time so mum waited till the next day to tell me. Um. Don't, please don't read the text, get ready to cry. Mum's struggling through it Not at this time of the day

Well now I need to know My mum and dad decided to split up This isn't the crying one But I was about to go on my AOE And they thought I wouldn't go if they split up So they waited six months until I left Oh wow okay As soon as you'd gone through that bit

Where they couldn't turn around and come back They're like phew we're done Are you going to read the cry one? I don't I haven't found it It's like the sad back. They're like, phew, we're done. Are you going to read the cry one? I don't. I haven't found it. It's like the saddest thing. You're like welling up in your eyes. I know.

I don't know if we're going to end the show on it. It's really sad. Yeah. What's your vibe, Vaughn? I don't want to finish the show on a bad vibe. What about if you read it out and then you read a funny one? Like the horse one. I could read the horse one. The horse one that was i could read the horse one the horse one was funny it was a bit funny okay you go and then i'll back it up with the horse

i'm bored i'm thinking of exaggerating the horse one adding an extra like he slipped on a banana or something like that a little extra flair okay get ready to cry my close friend was dying while i was pregnant i went into labor and she rung my husband and said that she wasn't going to make it and didn't want me to know until my daughter was born. So she sent flowers to my husband to give to me and told him she would high five my girl on her way out and she had passed once the baby was born. Oh, that's so sad. I don't think you can follow that up with some stupid horse joke.

Give me a horse. Give me a horse. We were leaving home and driving to school and my horse was lying down in the paddock. Yep. And I said, that doesn't look right And mum said nah nah nah They're just lying down because it's a lovely sunny morning And then when I got home I went to feed my horse And it wasn't there and I said to dad Hey where's my horse and dad said

Oh shit I was meant to tell you before you noticed It was dead in the paddock this morning But we just didn't We just didn't want you to have a day off school. Oh, no. Ruthless. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well.

If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.