ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 22nd August 2024

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

Impersonation  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Cops  Hayley V Kit-set Furniture  Vaughan's Scammers  Hayleys Big Night  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. How are you today, Hayley? So good.

What was that? I'm really good. I'm so good and I've had so much sleep and I just feel great. Someone, Vaughan, has been out on a school night. Oh no. I did. I went out on a school night. Oh, no. I did. I went out on a school night. I feel all right.

And you were singing, obviously, quite loudly. I was singing Submetallica last night. And you've lost your voice again. I went and saw my boyfriend, Jason Mamoa, and his band. It's good. Good gig. Right. Yeah.

I was in bed at 8.30. I was in bed at 11.30. Oh, dear. Yes, I do. That's all right.30. I was in bed at 11.30. Oh, dear. Is this all right? Okay. Happy to be here. Now, were you just saying you're watching? Oh, God.

Oh, the Ken, the Irish crime show. Yeah, this is recommended to me. Yeah, it's highly rated. It's pretty good. Yeah. TVNZ Plus. Yeah, that'll be where Fletcher's watching it. Yeah, I love it.

Of course I am. He loves ads. I love the ads. You haven't pulled your boat into the Pirate Bay? Absolutely not, Ford. Where there's a drive-in cinema? Absolutely not, Ford. Oh, it's got the guy from Rome in it.

It's got Charlie Cox in it! Yeah, it's really good. Okay. I love it. Yeah, I've nearly done season one. There's two seasons, I think. I've nearly finished watching Succession, so I'm just behind on a couple of things.

You are very, you can start Game of Thrones next. Wow, what are the bats like? I know, I know. Oh, no. The top six is coming up on the show. Who's this that's in the show? Yasmin. Yasmin Siki.

Do you think for the show today, for Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's show, we could just watch TV? Okay. Quiet on that, will you? Okay, well, there's a bit of a piece. Yeah. Right. You'll love the show, Vaughan.

I told you you'll love the show. It's got Charlie Cox in it. The top six is coming up. Yeah, there is news that to save millions of dollars, the police budget is going to be sliced. 170 jobs. God, and the police are cutting jobs everywhere. Likely to be cut to save $55 million,

whereas I thought this government was tough on crime. Yeah, right. We've got the camps, though. We've got the camps. Oh, yeah. The kid that was involved in the trials was like, don't like it, I'm leaving. You can just leave a youth offenders camp.

Apparently. Okay. Go back to wherever else you were. You can just leave. Yeah, you can just go back to the juvie centre where you just get to sit. Oh. Wild.

Well, I've got the top six cops that will no longer be on the force. Oh, no. With the 170 jobs cut. Mouthpiece for the left, Warden Smith. He's back. I know. He's back today. Mouthpiece for law and order. I'm a big mouthpiece for

law and order. More cops, not less cops. Next on the show, speaking of law and order and law enforcement, a man has been arrested for impersonating a fireman. No. Cleaner. No. For impersonating a... Fireman.

No. Cleaner. No. Leprechaun. I don't know if you can say that. It certainly isn't a leprechaun. You're not allowed to say that. No, you're not allowed to say that.

All right. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's a bizarre crime in the US of A And this happened in Miami A 55 year old man is facing a felony charge What's he done? He impersonated a pizza place Okay So there's this like famous pizza place

That's been around for like 40 years Right New York style? Sloppy? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Big sloppy slices? Big sloppy pizza. And they're basically, you know, I don't know,

have you ever been to America or, it doesn't really happen in New Zealand, but like the takeaway place is chuck the flyers under the motels and the hotel doors? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of thing? Yeah. I've never had, that's weird.

It's like a thing. How do they get into the hotel? I don't know, they'll just chuck them under the door or. Do they just walk the corridor? Yeah. I've never had, that's weird. It's like a thing. How do they get into the hotel? I don't know, they'll just chuck them under the door or. Do they just walk the corridor? Yeah. They should need a swipe card to get up to that floor. They're out hustling. They're just out hustling.

No, in a motel, you just walk up the outside stairs. So this guy would print off these flyers, pretending to be this like fancy Romano's place that's been around for like 40 years. And he'd print his phone number. And then he would just make either substandard pizzas. Like a wrap pizza. Or sometimes just give them like,

apparently some of the dough wasn't even cooked. Wait, wait, he's making the pizzas. Yeah, but they're not as good. So he's making them cheaper and not as good. And then by the time they deliver them and he gets the cash, he takes off and they realise either the pizza's a crap or they're not cooked or they're not there at all. And it's been a scam that's been happening for years

and finally they've caught this guy. I thought you'd just, why would you even go to the extent of making the pizza? I thought you'd just take the money and run. And then not make the pizza. I love that he's sort of still gone to the effort to make a chili pizza. Because it's delivery.

It's delivery, isn't it? So you have to have something when you turn up. Yeah, yeah, I suppose so. Oh, so they're paying cash at the door. They're paying cash at the door. They're paying cash at the door and then he's taking off. And apparently he's been doing this for years and he's finally been caught.

And then the guy that owns this real pizza place is like, come on. It's America. You could definitely sue this man. Oh, God. Yeah, well, that's why he's been, yeah, he's been arrested.

You know when you make at-home pizzas, they're always a bit crap. And they're always, we always make wrapped pizzas, you know. Yeah. Get a wrap.

But then they go all like hard. It's soggy in the middle, hard on the outside, paper thin. And you always put on like the whatever's in the fridge, the worst ingredients. I'd do that. Yeah, imagine being in prison. It's in the fridge, the worst ingredients.

I'd do that. Yeah, imagine being in prison. It's like, what are you here for? Personating a pizza place. What are you here for? Arson. Okay, similar. Could have used a bit of that fire.

Some of my dough was undercooked. Undercooked dough. Don't they, doesn't America does that awful dough that's like in a tube? You know that stuff that they pull out and you like rip it apart? Oh, it's like cookie dough comes like that as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That little bun. Yeah. In a tube?

Oh, America. Like a dog roll of dough. Ew, ew. Twelve past six. From America to Australia next. This new Melbourne Meryl Hopeful has just a stupid

idea. Really? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. An Australian Meryl Hopeful who is also a former AFL star so probably will walk straight into the role because you know those Malbornians love the AFL star, so probably will walk straight into the role. Oh, they love AFL. Because you know those Malbornians love the AFL.

Is that Aussie rules? Yes. With the big field? I think it's the same size field as like a rugby field. No, it's not. It's huge. It's a cricket field, isn't it? It's like circular.

Yeah. Isn't it made so it can be played on a cricket field with minimal change? Yeah. Just some great physiques. Some posts banged in. Very athletic. More like soccer player physiques. Slim.

Yeah. Slimmer in the leg than our rugby boys. Yeah. So they're going to have a hot mare? A hot new mare? I don't know if he's hot, actually. A bit limp-wristed, I'd say. Do you know what I mean?

Really? Yeah, I think a lot of AFL players prance around a bit. Dainty. Dainty. No, he doesn't look dainty. Okay. No. 51 years old.

His name is Anthony. Greek name inserted here. You should try say it. Kudaforides. Oh, cancel. Got him. Kudaforides. Kudaforides.

Anthony. Beautiful Greek dance. Beautiful. Coup de Fondays. It's me, Merrill Hopeful-Winston. You sound like you're saying Coup de Forrester. Coup de Fondays. Cancelled.

He said he wants to ban working from home. He said it's time to get back in because the city suffers when people are working from home. Can meers just do that? I do not know if they have jurisdiction on that. You know when you watch American TV shows, the mayors seem to have so much

like overseas the mayors seem to have so much more power than in New Zealand. In New Zealand they're just like we might put a new bus loop in. Yeah, I've got a nice necklace. Look at my chains. I might raise rates. There's no respect for the mayor. That's all they do necklace. Yeah, we might. Yeah, look at my chains. Look at my chains. I might raise rates. There's no respect for the mayor. That's all they do here.

Yeah, and most of the time if the mayor says something, everyone's like, no. No, no. I don't think we'll do that. Government. We're all about who's... I think this is where it's smaller, right? Central government's got a bit more.

But overseas, like America, the mayor's always like talking to the police commissioner and telling him to crack down on things. Yeah, and calling Batman. He's in charge. He's calling Batman. Yeah, the mayor's like, Commissioner Gordon, get Batman on the phone. Yeah, direct relationship Batman. He's in charge. He's calling Batman. Yeah, the mayor's like, Commissioner Gordon, get Batman on the phone.

Yeah. Direct relationship with Batman. But maybe Australia's kind of the same. They've got a bit more kind of sway. Maybe because they're bigger. Yeah. So he said people need to get back mingling with colleagues and patronising, which doesn't sound like the right word.

Patronising? No. No, patronising. Patronising is the right word. Yeah, patronising. To be patronising. Yeah. Patronising is where you're. Patronising. To be patronising. Yeah.

Patronising is where you're a patron at a bar or a restaurant. You're doing such a good job reading this story. Look at you on the radio. Yeah, thanks, guys. Doing so good. Not at all. Patronising. That's patronising. No, that's patronising.

Oh. So you've worked out the difference, haven't you, clever boy? Many businesses are closing down. Residents currently do not feel safe. Shop fronts are vacant. Government workers have not returned to the city to work. And the current economic and cost of the crisis has increased homelessness. Right. Well,

no one's going to vote for him because they're at home doing their job. And their gym jams. They're like not going to work. Hey, look, we've got a full page ad in the middle of a story. Bad, I bet that'll piss people off. Oh, that's us. I hate these ads. We're right in the middle. When you're scrolling down and the

ad takes over the entire story you're trying to read and you've got to keep scrolling and then it's like there in the background. I'd be angry at us if I saw that shit. Laugh out louder. Yeah. I'd be like, I'm never listening to them again. So now that I've got past those three annoying people. It's quite patronising.

It's very patronising. That was really patronising. It's very patronising. Now the unions aren't happy. Right. This is what it says underneath that obnoxious full page ad for us. The unions aren't happy

because they're saying the mayor shouldn't be able to tell people and the workforce how to work as long as the work's getting done. It's their choice

where they work from. So anyway, that's ongoing. I sort of agree. As long as the work's getting done. It's their choice where they work from. So anyway, that's on goal. I sort of agree. As long as the work's getting done. Yeah. I mean, we're here. We're in the office today. Yeah.

And we're also right in the middle of the story as an unavoidable full thing ad. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little Pole today is how often do you buy Lotto taquitos? Oh mate, only when it gets juicy. I'm not messing around with a meek little $6 million. Yeah, I got the notification. You said, how would $6 million feel?

I said, probably not as good as that $44. Probably pretty good, but probably not that good. I definitely only win the big draws happen. Because, I mean... After like 12. Yeah, only win the big draws happen. Because, I mean... After like 12, 12, 14, 15... Yeah, you've got to be realistic. Your chances of winning are next to nothing. I know. And you're spending

so much money on these tickets. Like, I think about people that have brought tickets since the day it started. Bought tickets since the day it started. I'm glad you corrected. You bought. Thank you. I was waiting to see if he was bringing the tickets somewhere. Yeah.

People who brought the tickets around. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, Thank God we just learned it. It's a stupid language. It's the dumbest. From our parents. Yeah, I've seen that ticket. I've seen it and I brought it for a lot of money. But yeah, I get a bit carried away when it gets anything over $20. I buy them on a Wednesday and a Saturday. And then you're like, I've spent over $100. In that last draw leading up to the $44 mil, how much money do you spend on tickets? Well, we were each buying like a $24 ticket each week. Because, you know, at the moment it's gone $4 million.

No on one. It's gone to $5 million. No on one. $6 million. But when it gets high, it didn't go from $33 to $44 like that. Yeah. Insane.

Well, the results are in. The options were every week, when it's a big draw, I don't buy a lot of tickets. 62% of people when it's a big draw. I don't buy a lot of tickets. 62% of people when it's a big draw. Yeah. Oh, when I voted it was 69. Nice.

And I was like, I hope it stays there. The second highest is never. 25% of people never buy a lot of tickets. It doesn't surprise me. And 13% buy it every single week. Yeah. Dan says when it's a big draw or if I'm driving through a small town, or a small business like a bookshop or a pharmacy,

has a lotto counter, you just got to. Especially, Dan, I'll say it, if on their window it says, 21st Division's ticket sold here. Yeah. Like it's a lucky. They keep a tally. In 1997. Yes, when we kicked it off.

Yeah. When you think about that, that's still pretty bad average, but we've got you excited because you've seen 20. Yeah. Emily said, I was thinking about this the other day. As a young millennial, I've never thought about buying lotto tickets, minus the odd scratchy. Maybe lotto's an older generation thing.

I don't know anyone my age that buys them. I love a scratchy. I love a scratchy. I could do a scratchy this morning, actually. Which one would you go for? Which scratchy would you do? I like a $5. I love a scratchy. I could do a scratchy this morning actually. Which one would you go for? Which scratchy would you do? I like a $5. Like a crossword or something? A crossword? Yeah. But not a

$10. Smaller. Like a smaller one. I like a $10 one as long as it's simple. Because for a crossword, to be honest, I'm just going to scratch the barcode and scan it with my phone. No! I don't want to do that whole thing anymore. Oh, that's awful! I don't want to do the whole... I don't want to do that whole thing anymore. Oh, that's awful. I don't want to go through

the rigmarole of trying to... I just want a quick scratch and check. Oh, you're so boring. Yeah. That's just me though, you know. Earl said $100 million in Australia this Thursday. Earl's one of our Australian... $100 million? Trying to buy tickets. They're nuts over there.

They're like just behind America. But then they've got the population. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're state. They're statewide draws. Yeah, they're state lotteries, I think. I don't know if they're national lotteries. I think there's different rules between different states.

That's disgusting. Isn't that crazy? Tony Anna says, my partner insists on buying a lotto ticket for every draw. I think it's stupid and a waste of money It's like two and a half thousand dollars a year And he probably wins more free lines Than he does money in the bank

Oh yeah, we love a bonus line Yeah, but bonus lines don't have a powerball on them They don't We learned that recently We've been played Yeah Best you can hope for is first division What are you looking up?

I was looking up a compound interest calculator. Like if you save $15 every week. Please don't. Why would you do that? It's not as fun. Over how long? Well, how long do you want? I can do whatever.

Let's say 20 years. So how much are we contributing monthly? Well, she said he buys one for every draw. Say we're buying a $15 ticket weekly. So that's eight tickets. No, but there's twice a week. Let's just do an example. She said every drawer.

So that's Wednesday and Saturday. Right. So that's $30 a week. So that's $30 a week times four. $120. Let's say roughly $120, give or take. How many years are we doing this for? 20 years.

20 years. Okay, so if you're spending $120 a month for 20 years, we've got to put in an estimated interest rate. Like a savings rate. That's always low. Let's put 3%. Okay, let's just put in 3%. I was going to say 15.

And then is the compound annually? No. Semi-annually? Quarterly or monthly? Monthly. Monthly interest. Okay. Calculating.

In 20 years, you would have just under $40,000. Who cares? That's nothing over 20 years. Keep buying lotto tickets. I'll tell you what's better than how much over 20 years? $40,000? Yeah. Nah.

Nah. $44 million in one day. But you are someone who's been buying lot lot of tickets for the last 20 years, how much they have, and it's not $40,000. It's minus $40,000, isn't it? No, I don't understand, but you don't feel it. $40,000 over 20 years? You don't feel that?

Like, that's... Nah. That's a poor investment. I feel like you're being very irresponsible. If I invested some... If I spent 20 years investing in something and all I got was $40,000, I'd be ropeable. Yeah, but it's $40,000 you don't have, isn't it?

Yeah, but I'm going to blow it on some cigs anyway. Blue cigs, drugs, you know, rock and roll. I can't help it. I got all sorts of vices, baby. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is the Top Six. Hello. the government has asked police to deliver $55 million of savings by reducing corporate support functions. This could mean 175 police staff would lose their jobs. Oh, so that's no good. No. No. All playing a crucial role in the upholding of law and order. Oh, yeah.

I've got the top six cops that will no longer be on the force with these 170 jobs cut. Number six on the list. The cop that gives you a ride home when you're a little booze than alone. Have you had one of those? No. You doing all right there, mate? No.

Why did everyone look at Hayley? I just thought. I genuinely haven't had one of those? No. You doing all right there, mate? No. Why did everyone look at Hayley? I just thought. I genuinely haven't had one of those. I just thought. Yeah. Oh, I've had a couple of, it was in Hamilton days, but I've had a couple of mates dropped off by the police. And we're like, are you in big trouble?

And the police was like, no, no, no. They were just wandering around. They were just like by themselves. And we were just like, shit, that looks like a person that's probably best to get home. Yeah, right. Number five on the list. I must love doing that. Oh, right. Number five on the list. They must love doing that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where you going? I was going to go with you. I think they'd probably rather pick them up, chuck them in the car, drop them off home than pick them up off the road later on when they're

walking in front of something. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Is the paperwork? Quite nice. Oh, my God, the paperwork when you have to pick someone up off the road.

Oh, God, the paperwork. Number five on the list of the top six cops that will no longer be on the force with the 170 jobs cut are the cop that lets the bride have a photo with their hat during the hen's party. Oh, yeah, yeah, good one. Crucial. Put my hands behind my back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put the handcuffs on. Oh, my God. Put the handcuffs on me. Can I grab your arm? Yeah, handcuff me. Daddy! Whoa, whoa!

Pull my hair? Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm being disrespectful. Bite me. Bite me? How are you allowed to bite me? Can you do it?

Just sort of bite me on the... I reckon bite me in the ear and then... Yeah, maybe up towards the ear. Maybe from the ear down to the neck. Wait, what's happening? Yeah. Maybe now just slam me onto the bottom of the car. Yeah, yeah. We're joking, but I bet they've had all of these reviews. Now chuckle to the neck. Wait, what's happening? Yeah. Maybe now just slam me onto the bottom of the car.

Yeah, yeah. We're joking, but I bet they've had all of these reviews. Now chuck me in the backseat. Real rough, put the spit mask on me. It's gone.

Moving on. I'm feral. Put it on. Yeah. Get the Police 107 crew here. Film it. I want this whole thing on. Let's film it.

I want this whole thing documented. Number four on the strip search. Number four on the list of the top. I've got a here. Film it. I want this whole thing documented. Number four on strip search me. Number four on the list of the top. I've got a knife. Number six. Number four on the

top six cops that'll no longer be on the force of the 170 jobs card. The cop that stops the drink driver before anything bad happens.

That one was just really political. Oh yeah, that was really serious. The cop that stops the drink driver. That was real serious. Where are you going,

Matt? Not driving, are we? Yeah, where do you think you're going, champ? that was really serious. The cop that stops the drink driver. That was real serious. Where are you going, Matt? Yeah. Not driving, are we? Yeah, where do you think you're going, champ? Chuck us those keys. Number three on the list of the top six cops that will no longer be on the force with the jobs cut. The cop that'll go along with a little prank on your mates. Oh, yeah.

Knock on the door. Yeah, knock on the door. We're here for Vaughan Smith. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh, shivers. Number two on the list Of the top six cops That'll no longer be

In the force of the 170 jobs cart Are the cop that turns up To your house With a noise controller A bit busy And just tell you To take it indoors

And turn it down a little bit Yeah yeah They're the good ones Hey look I'm not here To spoil your party Guys guys I tell you A noise controller's gonna come

They're not gonna be this cool They're gonna take the exterior Yeah Take them aside Shut the doors Just a little bit down And I think you're gonna be fine We're all young ones Yeah Yeah But I've thrown a few parties In my time Yeah. Take a seat, shut the doors just a little bit down, and I think you're going to be fine.

We're all young ones. Yeah. Yeah. I've thrown a few parties in my time. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six cops that are no longer beyond the force with the jobs cut, the cop that lets you turn on the sirens and lights when you ask nicely.

Oh, yes. I want to press that one that goes... That one sounds... Or is it just fire trucks with that? Or do the cops have that one that goes... That one sounds... Yeah. Or is it just fire trucks with that? Or do the cops have that one too? No, they've all got that. Oh, yeah. I think the airboats have got them as well.

That one goes right through you. That one goes right through your body. Yeah. It's like, get out the way. Yeah, sometimes you'll see them pull up behind like a Nissan March or something on the motorway and the person driving that is just at another world entirely. Oh, my God, yeah. And then the...

The Nissan March literally goes... Out of the lane. And that's just in another world entirely. Oh, my God, yeah. And then the... And this in March literally goes... Out of the lane. That's today's top six. There's a beautiful swan who lives in Swan Lake in Christchurch, which is near a park. Ernal Clark Reserve is where the Swan Lake is near. Has been living there for about 10 years. Last year, Ken

is the swan's name, his female companion, long time female companion Samantha died. And ever since then Ken has been depressed. Missing Samantha crying

swimming around lonely. Do swans cry? rest. Missing. Samantha. Crying. Swimming around. Lonely. Do swans cry? Yeah. What noise does a swan make? It's ghastly, isn't it? It's like an awful noise. Can you please google swan noises? Can you google swans crying? I don't know

if they cry. So, Ken has been crying since last year after Samantha died. Okay. And swimming around so lonely looking for a friend. Actual audio of a swan calling for a lost mate. Which is a strange cry

according to the YouTube caption. Samantha! Just imagine it's Ken. I'd go to the best part of the YouTube clip, but it's not Pornhub. It doesn't tell me where the good stuff happens. It doesn't show you the peak.

Get all the kissing out of the way. Yeah. No, next, next, next. Get to it. What's the last little bump in the video? There's the good stuff. Hello. So Ken has been swimming around the Heathcote River crying,

calling out for a friend. Lonely. He's even wandered into local cafes looking for a lover. Oh, yuck. That's a big, gross bird. Oh, Ken lost some measures this year. Are you sure it's... Huge turds.

Are you sure it's... Can we put that on one of our inspirational horses? Huge birds take huge turds. Huge birds take huge turds. Because it's true. It's not motivational. It's bigger than a turd. Huge birds take huge turds. Because it's true. It's not motivational. It's bigger than the bird, it's bigger than the turd. What's the message?

No, but it's metaphorical. It's a motivational calendar, Vaughan. It's not just observational, it's motivational. Are you sure it's not going into the cafe for a panini? It could be looking for a panini. They think he's looking for a mate. I don't think swans should be eating bread. Chicken cranberry bread, though.

Yum! Do you know what I mean? I don't think a bird should be eating bread. Chicken cranberry bread, though. Yum! Do you know what I mean? I don't think a bird should be eating another bird. So he's been wandering around, and one of the people that work at the reserve has actually enlisted him on Tinder now. So they've put him on the dating app Tinder, profile pictures, got his best looks,

in the hopes of reaching someone with a swan. Who owns a swan? The queen. Reaching someone with a swan to meet Ken at Swan Lake and see if they kick it off. Yeah, right. So if you're listening, I'm just putting the word out for Ken. If you've got a single swan. If you've got a single swan, ideally female.

He is heterosexual. Right. What if, like, you've got a swan, but it's in a couple. He might not be heterosexual. Could be gay. No, it could be pan. Is it pan? Pansexual, loves anyone.

Yeah. And it just so happened that the last person he was in love, last swan he was in love with was a female. But that doesn't mean next one might be anything. Well, yeah. The person who's put him on Tinder said, we cannot have this lonely swan We have to do something about it

And help him find a mate Help him heal from the pain of losing Samantha last year This is the love story we need This is a beautiful story And these tumultuous times And I want you to know ZDM listeners I will be keeping you posted on Ken's situation Right, okay

And if you've got a swan If you've got a swan A single swan You need to take it down to Ernal Clark Reserve in Christchurch to Swan Lake. You'll see Ken. He's the one crying. He'll be the swan that's crying looking for a mate.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Okay, so yesterday, for the first time, we've been together for like 13 years and yesterday for the first time, Aaron and I put together a kit set furniture. And I was like, yeah, it did cross my mind that we've never done it. But we've never.

It's one of life's greatest couples challenge. I know. And you know what this is going to be? I know like, where did you buy your kit set thing from? Moka. Right. Like a lot of warehouse came out, freedom furniture stuff is, you've got to do it yourself. You've got to do it yourself.

But you know where IKEA is coming, and that is famous. All kit set. Famous for being kit set. Yeah. Well, I think you're right. It's because we always like to buy like secondhand or... Hardwood. Hardwood.

We love a timber. You love your vintage stuff. We love our vintage stuff, and so we've never bought kit set, but not into cheap, shitty MDF covered with a laminate and a white drawer. Shit MDF that's going to end up in the landfill. Do you know what I said? I was like, imagine.

By the time I'm finished with it, it's going straight on the burn pile and it goes up like this. As we were putting it together, I mean, no disrespect. I mean, it's great cheap furniture and it's serving a purpose for a while, but I was like, you're never going to pass this on to your kids, are you? It's not going to be in a Thames vintage shop.

You're not driving past and be like, oh pull over, look at that delicious set of drawers. Absolutely not. But we're putting together my wardrobe and we want to build a custom unit but we don't have the money at the moment so we're like let's get something that's the right size

that'll do for a while. So this furniture arrived and it's been sitting in the lounge and I just yesterday was like, right, we need to put this together. So she's anti-stuff ending up in the landfill unless she's a little short on money at the time. I'm a bit short on money. So sorry, Mother Nature, but suck it. You know, there's a budget to stick to here.

Eat this MTF. Yeah, yeah. Gobble it up. So we put it together and I was like, Aaron is so handy. He's very vigilant and good at following instructions. The two of us are here. He's very good with the tools. How badly could this go?

Dumb people put this together. Yeah. We've put this whole house together. We can do this. Yeah. Oh my God, we stuffed it up so bad. We had to put the sliders where the drawers go.

It's a set of drawers. We had to put the sliders on, on and off three times. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's your first time.

Left and right. And it was like, you know, you're putting it together on the floor and then it was like, like DL, put this one. And so you're like,

that's on the left and this slider must be on the right. And then you go to put it up and the left is actually the right. Yeah, and you put it up and you're like that's on the left and this slider must be on the right and then you go to put it up and the left is actually the right and you put it up and you're like hang on that says R

but that's on the left and then we're trying I was going oh no those are facing the wrong way so we'll switch those okay switch

put it up we actually switched the wrong ones which meant we then had to switch the other side and then re-switch what we'd already switched

so that was on the third thing. And MDF doesn't take two holes being screwed in, out, in, out. The very wobbly set of drawers now. You've got one screw in, really. Yeah. One screw in and that hole is now just a big, holey dust pit. And now we've screwed the screws in for the third time. They are rattling around.

Oh, yeah. Oh, no. You see, those drawers are going to fall out soon. Oh, 100%. I was like, we won't be sitting on this. Like, this is not a piece of furniture. I can't believe the first foray into kit set, we stuffed it up so badly. So badly.

With the rest of us. They take a while to kind of. It took hours. Yeah. And then if you don't do one for a few years and you pick it up again, you're like, oh.

You've got to stay on top of your kit setting. I was like, it's very clever, you know, the way that they've done it. Yeah. With the instructions and all the bits and the little bands

and put screw A into hole D and da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. I was like, it's very clever. Did you have the ones where you have these weird looking screws and you've got to put them in

and then that slots down onto something and then it's got those big fatties that you put on and then twist and they tighten but you can't over tighten them or they drag the whole thing. Yeah. Those little twisty screw things, I was like, what an invention. I'm thinking like, who's made

this? A screw that you sort of plug into a big hole and twist it, grabs onto a little bit. Yeah. But it does mean you can take it apart again. I can't believe it's taken you till now to do a kit set. I know. That is wild.

I know. It's crap. I mean, it's really not a great set of drawers. And it's so rattly because we had to put things on, off, on, off. Don't blame the drawers. You screwed the screws in three or four times. I don't think the instructions were clear enough. I don't think the instructions were clear enough. I don't think they made it clear enough.

We got it so wrong. There was one bit, you know, like tracks with drawers, like they like point up. Yeah. And so you can go like slide the drawer on like that. Yeah. Slide it down. Oh, you pointed them down.

I had one side pointing up and one down and I tried to say to Aaron at one point well maybe that's how it goes he was like so you're saying you put the drawer

in like like one bit going up one going down so locking it in I said well maybe that's just how it goes let's just keep going for a bit

until I had to admit that yeah I've absolutely stuffed that up and it was upside down yeah play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? Welcome to What's Your Jobby. We've actually taken a little pause from this for a while, haven't we? To sort of get the vibes back. We haven't done very well. Yeah,

it's hard. You only get three questions. Maya joins us first. Good morning, Maya. Good morning, guys. How are you? Good morning. Really good. Really good. Now, we ask you three questions about your job and then we've got to figure out what it is that you do. Yep. Okay.

Okay, Maya, can you just talk to us for a second? Tell us what you're doing today. Well, no, no, no, no, not work-wise. Tell us how you are. How are you today? Yes. I want to hear your voice. I'm good.

I'm tired. I'm just sitting in my car waiting to go to work. Okay, time. Okay, close. Wait, you're already like, what, you're outside work? Jeez, Louise, that's an early start, isn't it? Her beginning in the classroom ready for the day. Yeah. I've already opened my V. Wait, you're already like, what, you're outside work? Jeez Louise, that's an early start, isn't it? Could be getting the classroom ready for the day.

Yeah. I've already opened my V. Okay. Oh, she's cranked a V. See, I feel like that is dealing with intense people. If you're in your car already, you're hitting a V. If you're a teacher, you're not hammering a V this early in the day. You reckon it's a lunchtime. You're going off a little bit of... Yeah, I reckon if you're a teacher,

you're pushing through to lunchtime before you hit that energy drink. Right. I'm thinking trades. Can I... I'll ask the first question, Maya. Yep. Do you work predominantly outdoors?

No. Okay. I don't like that question. How do you? It's my question. You've got your own question. Shall I ask the uniform one? No.

Why don't you ask if she works predominantly indoors and just waste a question? Yeah, I reckon ask uniform. Do you wear a uniform for work? I do. I do wear a uniform. Okay, predominantly indoors. Where's a uniform?

Could be a nurse shift starting soon. Yeah. Doesn't the overnight shift finish at 6? Have some respect for your body. She's drinking a V. Nurses actually, they have a terrible diet though, don't they? Well, they just do what they've got to do. I don't think you can speak on behalf of all nurses.

I will, and I just did. But it always, chefs smoking always blows my mind. Oh, no, your taste buds. Because they're muting their taste buds. Oh, yeah. You think that'd be all about them but every chef loves a ciggy.

They love a durry. They've not moved on to vaping. No, God no. Old school. Well, Maya's not smoking. No, I'm not saying that. No, Maya's not a chef.

It's too early. Is, given that she's inside and in a uniform, is it a waste to ask if she spends most of her day on a computer? Yeah. You think that's a waste? It goes without saying she spends most of her day on a computer? Yeah. You think that's a waste?

It goes without saying she spends most of her day on a computer. No, I just think it's a waste. There'll be a computer. It won't help us. It won't help us. What about if I ask if there's a creative element to her job? Yeah, perfect. Just back yourself. No, that's not going to help us.

Maya, is there a creative element to your job? There is. Oh! In a uniform. Inside. Shut up. Don't say anything. Do you think early childhood?

Do they wear uniforms? No, they don't wear uniforms. Do they? What do they wear? What surprises me, they wear a polo with their little insignia on it. Oh, do they? How embarrassing.

So you don't get Play-Doh on your normal clothes. Yeah, yeah. You've got to wear a work uniform. Heaps of early childhood centres. But I wouldn't say that's creative. No, that's not my idea. You're dropping kids paint. That's totally creative.

You've got to keep kids entertained. Creative ways to put up with BS. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I think... I mean, it could be just a graphic designer. Or it could be florist. Like waiting to go into work. No, graphic designers don't wear uniforms. And that's an early start for a graphic designer. Or it could be florist. Like waiting to go into work. No, graphic designers don't wear uniforms.

And that's an early start for a graphic designer. Maybe he sees warehouse stationery. I know you've said this before. I'm always like, one day I'm going to get it. It's warehouse stationery. But I would, no offence to our warehouse stationery listeners, and I know we are the station of choice for people who work in stationery supplies. Is it creative?

No offence. Well, they're working with craft materials. Hang on. We've got to make a guess. What's your question? I did ask one. Creative, indoors, uniform. I think early childhood.

I think early childhood. I think more like a graphic design. Graphic designers don't wear uniforms. Oh, yeah, they don't wear uniforms. I think like oh, okay. Early childhood. Or teacher. Is teacher early childhood?

Like then we're covering the base of teacher. I don't think teachers wear uniforms. Oh yeah, they don't. Okay, Maya. Is your jobby an early childhood educator? It is not. I knew it wasn't. Why'd you say it then?

Because I was going with born. What's your job, Maya? I'm a kitchen designer. Oh! Are you like a kitchen and things? Yes. And so I do work at a computer all day. And you're a creative.

I wouldn't have this uniform blew were a creative. I wouldn't have this uniform blew me out there or I didn't know you guys had to wear uniforms. Yeah. Yeah, they do. Okay, what do you think

about corner kitchen cupboards? I hate them. I hate them. You've got to get a kidney bean. I've got a kidney bean. You've got to get a kidney bean

that slides out. Yeah. Oh, God, I hate corner. I've got two corner cupboards. I hate them. Get a kidney bean. I've got to get a kidney bean. Maya, I'm so sorry you didn't win. Zara, we can stop at one kidney bean. We've got four corner cupboards. I hate them. Get a kidney bean. I'm going to get a kidney bean. Maya, I'm so sorry I didn't win.

Zara, we can stop at one kidney bean. We've got four kidney beans. I'll just make you present one other cupboard. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maya, thank you for playing What's Your Jobby. Okay. Let's go to Kayleigh.

Good morning, Kayleigh. Morning. Good morning. Okay. How are you today, Kayleigh? I'm okay, thank you. I'm okay. Okay, just okay.

I think she works retail. Do you work in a customer-facing job? No. It's not retail? It's not retail. That just absolutely shut me up, didn't it? Okay. Do you work in the education segment?

Sector? Sector. Sort of. Oh, she's a trainer of sorts. Sort of. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Sort of. Oh, she's a trainer of sorts. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Sort of doesn't... My role is, yeah, is based education, but it's not always.

I reckon it's HR. Okay, HR. Oh, she's in education. Sometimes. She's in education. So she works at a school, but she's not a teacher. That's what I took from it. She works in the education segment, but she's not like sector. Something segment. It works in the education segment but she's not like

it's sector not mandarin well maybe if it was we wouldn't have this problem with writing and reading would we okay education but she's not a teacher sector sector it's well known that it's sick i'm having trouble i'm having trouble today do you think maybe she's like a school nurse Sector Sector It's well known That it's sector Sector I'm having trouble I'm having trouble today Do you think Maybe she's like a school nurse

Yeah Oh my god How good were the school nurses Oh my god We didn't have a full time one Mine was Nurse Dagger What What a terrible name

For a school nurse I know Nurse Dagger She always made me Nail polish off She We just had one of the The kindest reception ladies always,

the office ladies always doubled up the school nurse. I think Kayleigh's school reception. Do you reckon? Yeah. Education, sometimes. In the education segment. She's based in the education slice, but she's not. Well, I've got the segment.

It's sector. It's segment. It's sector. What's my question going to be then? Okay so we've kind of got she's working at a school she's not a teacher

Hayley thinks reception Yeah I think more towards nurse So what can you question can you ask

that can separate those two jobs and perhaps even I could ask are you a nurse? No That's the question That's the final question I could ask Do you work with nurse? No, that's the question. That's the final question.

I could ask. Do you work with sick kids? Do you work with sick kids? No, because... No, that's... What about... Do you work anything to do with medicine? Yeah.

Okay. Do you work... What? I feel like then that's the final question. Do you work in health, anything healthcare? But I say customer... I'll say customer. I'll say it's not customers.

She's not giving me groundskeeper vibes, I'll tell you that much. Groundskeeper Willie. She's far too friendly. They're always a bit grumps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd make a great groundskeeper.

I can't wait. When this all folds, when this all falls over, which could be like tomorrow, who knows? Shush. I 100% school groundskeeper. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Shall I ask if she's in healthcare I mean sure Are you in healthcare? I am She's a school nurse Kayleigh are you a school nurse?

I am a school nurse Yay Gotcha We guessed your job We guessed your job We guessed your job We guessed your job Yes Yes Kayleigh

Oh that was so great Oh my god That was so good Do you have to deal with A lot of like Grazed knees And sick kids Yep

Are you primary Or high school High school Oh my god Oh god All sorts Have you been late Lots of periods

Lots of periods Lots of sex Yeah Lots of periods. Lots of sex. Yeah, lots of periods. Oh, well, that's amazing. The birds when they wee. How often do you get sick yourself? Because I don't imagine if you were just dealing with sick kids the whole time.

You'd be real sick all the time. I've got a good immune system now. She's super immune. She's built it up over time, right? Yeah. She's unstoppable. Do you make people take their nose rings out

and nail polish off and stuff? No, I'm not mean one. She's not Nurse Dagger. She's not Nurse Dagger. Yeah, I'm not mean. Hayley, great. What a great job

that you do. We've got for you $100 cash today for winning. What's your job? And congratulations. Oh, amazing. Thank you. Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I really like this guy. His name's Logan Lee Shaw. And he's on TikTok. A very, very southern drawl, good American boy. Yeah. And he went to his parents' house and noticed not a single photo of me on these walls. Not a single photo in a frame.

Not like nothing. Nothing of him in their parents' house. But what they do have is a picture of Dolly Parton. Framed. Like printed and framed. Like a big photo. Big photo. And he was like, why do you have this?

And then the mum in the background's like, she's a very important person, Logan. I love her. We've got a lot in common. Absolutely loves Dolly. And apparently they're like Dolly obsessed. And he says, he thinks that his parents love Dolly Parton more than they love him.

Nothing was cooler. How old is he? Because if he's gone home, it indicates that he's gone. Late 20s. When you're a kid, it's pretty cool saying to your parents, you love that more than you love me. I used to do that all the time. You do it about your siblings. you love that more than you love me. I used to do that all the time. Throwing that sort of thing in their face. Yeah. You do it about your siblings.

You love Sam more than me. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Which isn't true. You're the favourite. I'm the favourite. Right. Do your parents have lots of photos of you at home?

Nah, we're pretty equally split, my parents. My granddad was bad. Right. He's got quite a lot of grandchildren and it was just like Hayley's shrine but i was a marching girl and he was a coach you know yeah i was the pride of his life yeah he loved me more than he loved his daughters for sure suck it mom anyway this is what i want to know is what do your parents love more than you because there's always that thing like i i reckon if i said to my mom you

can you can travel the world for the rest of your life, but you'll never get to see me again. She'd be like, yeah. Because she loves travel more than – There you go. See you later. 100%. Would she just talk to you on the phone or complete –

No, she wouldn't. Yes, she would. No, she wouldn't. If she could, like, catch up with you and video call and stuff. She's got a house in Italy. Of course she would have moved to Italy. 100%. And write you out. Write you off video call and stuff. She's got a house in Italy. Of course she'll just go to Italy. 100%. And write you out.

Write you off completely. No way. I reckon my parents love traveling more than they love me. That's fine. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. Seems it. So, okay, so we want to know if your parents like something.

It's got to be one thing. It'll be like a food or a hobby or a person. If your parents are into stock cars I'm sorry but they definitely like stock cars more than they like you. Yeah maybe they always did something on your birthday and it was like never about you because they were doing their hobby or you know like there's always going to be that one thing.

Or maybe it is like a celebrity like they obsess over an actor or a singer and why can't you be more like Julia Roberts? Maybe they love Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts. It was her work in Erin Brockovich. Yeah. Beautiful performance. They can't get over it. Okay, well give us a call.

0800 DALS at M. We want to take your calls now. You can text through 9696. What do your parents love more than they love you? This might be hard to admit. Oh God, someone texted a terrible one. Oh yeah. I want to know what your parents love more than you, whether it's a hobby.

A hobby, a person, a food, an activity. Your sibling. Travelling, your sibling. Chanel, what do your parents love more than you? It's not my parents. It's my now mother-in-law. Oh, yes. Dude, she loves everything more than she loves you.

No, actually, she probably loves me than she loves my husband. I get you. One of those mother-in-law situations. I thought that about Aaron's family for a bit as well. I was like, God, they love me more than they love you. Their grandparents definitely do, but that's okay. So we've been together for a wee while.

Like, when we were teenagers and stuff, I lived in this house where his room was on the first floor and it was freezing cold. And we suffered through years upon years upon years of winters down there and it was literally freezing. And then my husband moved out of home. We bought our first house. And pretty much as soon as we left,

my mother-in-law installed a heat pump downstairs because her cat took over my husband's bedroom. And it was too cold down there for the cat. Oh, my God. I didn't even think about pets. But the two humans, you had to suffer through the cold. Yeah. Yeah, her own son.

She had, like, her sewing room and stuff down there, but it wasn't until James moved up. We can't have the cat being cold. Oh yeah, I didn't even think about parents. About cats. Yeah, parents and animals. Amazing. Chanel, thank you. Jenna, what do your parents love more

than you? Good morning. So I grew up and my dad would race stock cars. Oh my god, I joked about stock cars. It's no joke. It's no joke. Stock car people race stock cars. Oh, my God. I joked about stock cars. No, it's no joke. It's no joke. Stock car people love stock cars. They have to.

You totally did. He would race a standard stock. But every year on my birthday, up in Palmerston North, was the New Zealand A grade, the Super Stock Team Champs. Yep. And my parents would go away. On your birthday. A bad day.

They love stock cars more than you. Yeah, they do. Well, to be fair, it was my dad's birthday the day before my birthday, so it coincided with that too. But the story's better if you miss out that bit of information. 100%. Yeah.

Did you get into stock cars to try to, like, get involved? I did used to go and really enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. And I wanted to race. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And I wanted to race. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's lots of fun. It's good to know. Good to know that they love you more than you. And they're still into the stock cars more than you? Actually, no. They have classic American cars now. Oh, nice. We'll be talking.

We've got a Mustang. We've got a Mustang. Just a new love. Yeah. Yeah. So, no, we've got, well, I say we because there's three of them, so I get to drive one every now and then. Oh, nice.

That's nice. Yeah. Good stuff. Hayley, you'd love it. When you're in them, everyone just looks at you. Oh, my God, I love being looked at. What are we talking? That's crazy.

I love being looked at. I need to get me one of these cars. There's a 59 Ford Ranchero, which is just getting painted at the moment, so that's like a really massive ute. It's really cool. And there's a 59 Ford Ranchero, which is just getting painted at the moment. So that's like a really massive ute. It's really cool. And there's a 59 Ford Galaxy. And then my mum has a 60 Chevy Impala. We're just getting into car chat.

They really like that 59-60 era. Yeah. They should get a 90s. Have they thought about getting a 90s Mazda Familia? What about a 90s Nissan Primera? I would say that's when the Primera peaked. That's a classic car. I'm going to say the Primera peaked in the 90s Mazda Familia? What about a 90s this and Primera? I would say that's where the Primera peaked. That's a classic car.

I'm going to say the Primera peaked in the 90s. Jenna, thank you. Some messages in. What do your parents love more than you? My parents love

my fiance way more than me. They're obsessed. Particularly my dad. Whenever we catch up it's always, how's Sam? How's Sam? And I always say,

I'm great, thanks. Thanks for asking. And they're both into stock cars. So both my fiance and my parents love stock cars better than they love me. Obsessed. Second, the pets won. I was at my parents' place for dinner and their cat jumped on the table

and stole my steak for dinner. I pushed him off and dad growled me for being mean to the cat. If I was eating a steak meal and the cat even looked at me, I'd smack it. There's no way cats do not get on tables. Mine sits on the table. Smack that cat. It's his table. Smack that cat.

We're just servants to our cats. Exactly. My mum loves her grandchildren more than she loves any of her actual children. I think you have to though, right? They're the reward for struggling through raising. And they're also not really your responsibility, so you just get to have fun. Yeah. I love someone texting,

I love my dog more than I love my kids. Thank you for being honest. We love that. My birthday is New Year's Eve and my mum would always go out partying instead of celebrating my birthday with me. I'm 46 and she still does it. Oh, party mum.

Yeah. Wow, I love it. My dad loves the Waz more than he loves me. Final home game for Sean Johnson this week. God, they say it a lot because they're losing all the time. Bad year. Not a great year for the Waz fans. I thought it was our year.

Well, we thought it was too. As a kid, my dad literally told me he loved his classic cars more than he loved me. That's something I'll never forget. There's some trauma here, right? Mum would have swapped me for a pack of ciggies in my teenage years. That's something I'll never forget. The cat. There's some trauma here, right? Yeah. Mum would have swapped me for a pack of ciggies in my teenage years. But now I've grown up where it would come to my senses.

She loves me more. Okay. Few people messaging in church. Their parents love the church more than they love me. Well, God's number one, right? If you're in that, I suppose. You can't tell God to do the dishes when you can't be bothered, though, can you? No. You can't be like, hey, God. Jesus isn't loading the dishwasher. Yeah, yeah. He's also not can't tell God to do the dishes when you can't be bothered, though, can you? No. You can't be like, hey, God. Your Jesus isn't loading the dishwasher.

Yeah, yeah. He's also not going to wipe your ass in an old folks' home when your kids abandon you. Yeah, where's your Jesus now? You just shit yourself, Mum. But he's also anti getting an injection so you can go to his house quicker. Oh, yeah.

Come on. A couple of Donald Trump texts, which upset me greatly. Really? Yeah. My mum likes Vaughn more than she likes me. Hey! Your mum.

Excuse me. Have some respect. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm going to sidestep this. We're going to talk about the fact, you know Strava, the running app? I don't use it because I don't run. You run?

Do you use Strava? No, not outside. I thought everyone used MapMyRun. That's what I used when I used to run. I think Strava came in after that. Oh, right. It's like a club and you share stats and all this kind of stuff. It's very competitive.

Yeah, I've seen people doing this. Well, people are paying people now to run on their behalf. You can buy their stats and all this kind of stuff. It's very competitive. Yeah, I've seen people doing this. Well, people are paying people now to run on their behalf. You can buy their stats, basically. So you'll be like, man, look at my speed, look at my tempo, all this kind of stuff. And they're paying people so that they win these Strava competitions. But what do you win? Like kudos.

Cred. People who do stuff for kudos. Do something for money. Yeah. What are you, a baby? I know. What do you want, a ribbon? You stupid little baby.

You stupid cold child. Anyway, so that aside, right, I was going to dive into that, but then this box has arrived of Doritos, and I don't usually eat Doritos. I'm like, what do you mean you don't eat Doritos? I love a Dorito. Doritos, sweet chilli. No.

I'm not a corn chip person. I'll only ever have corn chips if I'm having nachos. Okay. And I'll always go. I don't a corn chip person. I'll only ever have corn chips if I'm having nachos. Okay. And I'll always go. They don't make my favourite Dorito anymore. The Cool Ranch? Nah, like the double salsa or something. Oh, okay.

It was like the salsa one. So much flavour. Yeah, dude. They actually had a meeting at head office and they were like, Vaughan loves this flavour. Let's discontinue it. Yeah. Just to hurt him. Just that's how they.

Because you know, I never got my, you know, last Friday I was amped. Hayley, you weren't here? No. No. I was amped on those chips. Remember Cully's? No. No. I was amped on those chips. Remember Cully's was doing those chips? Yes. Cully's was doing those chips.

Did Cully's do chips? Cully's does chips? Cully's does chips? Blah, blah, blah. Couldn't find them at my local. Oh, really? I still haven't had those. People were asking me for a review.

Right. I was like, I simply can't give you one. Well, yeah, if I have nachos, I'll go, what's the red bag? Party size. Cheese. Isn't it normal? Cheese. No, the red, not Dorito, but you know, just the big Mexican.

Oh, the red. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. So these Doritos have turned out and they're coffee flavoured. And you originally were like, are they a joke? Are they a gimmick? Like, is it an April Fool's, like getting in early? Getting in early. You've got to get in it an April Fool's Like getting in early

Getting in early You've got to get in early for April Fool's So you go August early So this is a chip that is Coffee flavoured 3pm slump blend I'm not mad at it It's not a forever flavour though

You know like when People do a Great audio Great folly though. You know like when people do a, oh Hayley, great audio. Great folly. Great folly. So I want people to hear the crunch. No,

not the talking. Not the talking. Back away from the talking and only the crunch. That's yuck. It tastes like coffee. Yeah, I know.

How bizarre. The super limited edition batch is not for sale. Oh right, okay, well we're talking about this.

If you come to our studio now we'll let you have one chip. Can't go to a studio. If you come to Incentory and you come to... Knock on the window. Knock on the window, we'll give you one chip. We'll give you one chip. Because these are limited. Oh, they should do them because these are actually quite yum.

They're actually yum. I can imagine them with a bit of like sauce. Yeah. Good stuff. Are you ready to work up your taste buds? Well, now people are going to come for a chip. They can come for a chip. They can come for a chip.

One chip. And you can't say, like, can I take a chip for my friends? You can't take a chip for your friends. No, no, no. One chip per person. Don't bother our reception. They're busy. Just come to the window and knock.

Round the back. We don't want to talk to you. We'll reach the arm out. We've actually got a hole in the studio. We'll reach the arm out. We've actually got a hole in the studio. We'll reach a tong out. We'll tong you out one chip. We'll send Jared out the vape door. With a tong.

With a tong. With a tong and you shall receive your one chip. Well, I'll stop eating them because I imagine people are going to flock here. Okay, so, okay, I feel like now there's a charity aspect I can tell you about something else. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. The final chance, there is a charity auction for special packs 1 and 500, because there's only 500 packs, and we've got three of them. How lucky are we?

Spoiled. With all proceeds going to the Rising Foundation. It's a South Auckland foundation that helps local, talented, and overlooked kids get the opportunity to shine. Oh, that's nice. So that rules. Wait, did we just go on about our charity? I keep mine very quiet.

This isn't our charity. But by talking about charity, we're doing some charity. If you want a chip, you better hurry up because I'm eating them. Good, again, good folly. Thank you. Good folly. Play Zed-In's Fletch for the Nelly. Play Zed-In's.

Last night, I enjoyed an evening at the Churning Fork in Auckland and I saw Oof Ta Ta Ta, which is Jason Momoa's band, play last night. I mean, really taking the stalking to the next level. It wasn't stalking, I was one of hundreds. So it's okay if... What was the general demographic there? Thirsty, middle-aged woman? And bogans. Right, bogans. My people. Thirsty, middle-aged woman. And bogans.

Right. Bogans. My people. Thirsty, middle-aged woman. It was such a mixed bag. There were some ZM people there as well, and I was like, they know why I'm here. Yeah.

Right. Oh, my God, guys. At one point. So he comes. Anyway, it was great. I walked in. It must have been disappointing he's the bass player, though. Yeah.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. I mean must be disappointing he's the bass player though yeah yeah I mean look he's slapping a bass he's slapping a bass he's slapping a bass slapping a bass do you know I walked in and he was like

the band was just like mingling with everyone and I walked in and I looked to the left and Jason was there and I was like oh my god of course he's just

chatting with Tana Umanga I was like what is this guy wow and he wore an all blacks t-shirt the whole night till he took it off yeah Of course he's just chatting with Tana Umanga. I was like, what is this guy? And he wore an All Blacks t-shirt the whole night until he took it off. At one point he had his hair up and then he took it out and then I died.

It was a great, it was a good night. It was honestly really good. They were a great band. What did they play? Mostly covers. Okay. They did some Nirvana. They did some Metallica. They did some Metallica.

They did some Rage Against the Machine. They did a couple of original. It was mostly like heavy. Yeah, right. Kind of rock and roll stuff. Hence the Bogans. Hence the Bogans. Hence your people.

Hence my people. And it was such a good night. And it was like, if you don't know Tuning Fork in Auckland, it's a very small venue. It's just like the little side kind of arm of Spark Arena. Spark Arena. Yeah. I've performed there.

I've done comedy. Like it's, I think it's like 200 people maybe were there. It was packed. It was absolutely like pumping. But yeah, I did get home quite late. Because we did tell you, we did say, look, Hayley, it's a Wednesday night. Yeah. You can't be out until three o'clock in the morning.

We've got work the next day. Yeah. You asked me for a ride to work last night. Yeah. I said, no problem. Leave your location on in case I just have to go on a treasure hunt for you at five o'clock in the morning. No, no, no. I was well behaved. I was, well, not well behaved, but I was home

not too late. I woke up this morning actually because I sent, I sent, I didn't get to chat to Jason. I didn't see him. Like I didn't, I'm not going to interrupt Tana Umanga. Be like, hey, remember me? So you should have walked up and done what that classic fire safety ad did and said Tana Shmana.

Tana Shmana? I don't remember that. I would have said Umanga, which was his chant. I remember when they said fires fast and Tana Umaga was the fire safety person on all the ads and the kids were always interacting with him. I think you're making that up. No, I'm not. If you were going to say anything to Tana Umaga, it would be U-A-U-M-A-N-G-A.

The girl's like, fire's fast. He's like, not as fast as Tana or something. And then the little fire dude was like, Tana Umaga. And then set the house on fire. I actually think you've just dreamed this. Is this what cashlining is? Have I just dreamt the greatest fire safety campaign of all time? Vaughan is always making up fire campaigns.

If there's one thing this guy does. You know, remember that other fire campaign that I just imagined? So around the country, there's a series of signs. Oh, with the old mate. Yeah, and there's a series of signs. Oh, with the old mate. Yeah, and there's a bunch of colours. If you see smoke or anything that's suspicious, call 111 and tell them. And then I said to them,

I think this would be a great campaign, and they used it. You didn't dream that up. Come on, keep it green. You didn't dream that up. I did, and then they made it into a fire campaign, and now I'm saying Tanishmana if I've dreamt that. It's oo-ah-oo-mung-ah. It's Tanishmana about how he's not as fast as fire.

That's ridiculous. Well, you're going to be really proud of me because I, then the concert happened. Yeah. And then it was like, get out of the venue, basically. Yeah. So I left and I just sent a little message and I was like. Oh my God, you did.

No, just a little message. It may have been in voice form. Oh no. Do we want to hear that? Oh, no. The year was 2006. Oh, no. The New Zealand Fire Service's Fire Knowledge Research

Quantitative Research Report looked into their safety campaign involving none other than all black Tana Umanga. Okay. You are reading. You know what? Your laptop's closed. You're not even reading anything. This is actually, that's crazy.

I think at this stage it's now impossible to gaslight Vaught into thinking you dreamt this up. Yeah, I know. Damn it. Anyway, I don't know the safety of this voice audio. Okay, yeah, maybe don't play it then. I think I was just like, hey man, great gig, loved it. Sorry I didn't get to see you. Maybe see you around Auckland.

Fingers crossed. Do you know what? At 11 o'clock he texts me like, come hang out. We're having drinks, come hang out. I was in bed. What the hell? Being responsible. Being responsible because you biatches told me.

Wait, what? Now it's our fault? You told me, don't have a late night, Hayley. Don't get carried away. It's a school night. You've got to get up At four o'clock in the morning And I listened

And there I was In bed Missing out You guys owe me Jason Momoa You owe me one Nah Are you still looking up the fire?

Yeah Yeah right 100% Just dreaming up more Fire safety videos From the 80s and 90s You're mad mate Anyway great night Great concert Oof ta ta ta If you get to see them You're screaming up more fire safety videos from the 80s and 90s. You're mad, mate.

Anyway, great night. Great concert. Oof, ta-ta-ta. If you get to see them, do go. Do it. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Jesus.

The lads' chat is out of control. I'm trying to find a photo I sent to it yesterday. So you go to your messenger right and you go to like media and I'd say there's probably 25 videos, 50 photos in the last day and... I think I went on our group chat once and went to find some media that was sent and there was just, we just send each other

so many... So much shit. So much. I found it. You may have seen this popping up on your local community Facebook pages, and I've been puzzled as to how every man and his dog can be a car groomer lately. Oh, my God, yes. Have you seen this? On the group pages.

Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about right now. It's wild. It pops up. It's like this one is an example because this one was the one that the community was really like, what's going on here? Hello, as the leading car groomer detailer in Geelong, which is in Victoria.

Yeah, that's just out of Melbourne. I'm committed to delivering exceptional results that exceed your expectations with a proven track record of satisfied customers who consistently refer to me to the network, blah, blah, blah. I'm guaranteed accepting new bookings and offer a satisfaction. They all read like this. Now, these are in New Zealand as well, though.

Yes, this was on our local Facebook page. One for Melbourne. There's been heaps of them lately. Have you seen the ones where it's like down and out? Those, I thought you were talking about the ones on the community pages and it's like man, I didn't want to have to get to this point but here I am and I'm grooming cars

and then you go into the comments and people are like this guy's a scammer. Yeah, it's a scam. So car grooming, I don't know, I didn't know why. Oh, but what about the actual car groomers? I know, this guy's a scammer. Yeah, it's a scam. So car groomers, I don't know. I didn't know why. Oh, but what about the actual car groomers? I know, because that's the other thing. There are a lot of car groomers out there. So then, but in the comments, it always says as a separate,

like underneath this person's post, the same person will post, feel free to PM me, anyone interested? And it goes like post, post, post. So it's not like he's gone back into the post and said anyone interested. PM me your car model for quick quotes and availability. Payment after service. It's a mobile service. We come to your doorstep.

Right. So I was like, what is the scam here? Well, getting a clean car? That's an anti-scam. That's not a scam. That's a favour. Yeah. That's a pay it forward.

That's a service. So I Googled it and it was doing the rounds in America a couple of months ago, which I can understand, but it's weirder in America A couple of months ago Which I can understand But it's weirder that it would happen here Someone actually comes around Somebody in America said They'd been saying this for ages And it happened to their friend

Their friend was just like Look, they're going to do it For so much cheaper than an actual Like car groomer And you know the old saying Your mother would have said it A thousand times My mother said it

Eight thousand times You get what you pay for If it seems so good to be true It is Yeah, that one It probably is This was mother's go-to in the 90s Or there's fruit in the bowl I don't want fruit Yeah, yeah, yeah You get what you pay for. If it seems so good to be true. It is. Yeah, that one. It probably is. Yeah. This was mother's go-to in the 90s. Well, there's fruit in the bowl.

I don't want fruit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't be hungry. Only bored people get bored. Yeah, exactly. We've got McNuggets at home. Yes. They're not the same.

You don't, Christine. You don't, Christine. They're not the same. Did you have the dipping sauce too? No. No. Then we're not going there. This was pre-air fryer.

Yeah, right. The oven took ages to heat up and it never crisped. It doesn're not going there. This was pre-air fryer. Yeah, right. The oven took ages to heat up and it never crunched. It doesn't crunch the same. It didn't crunch. It didn't crunch the same. Shut up, Patsy. So I found,

I googled like, what's the scam with car groomers? And someone in America was like, so this happened to my friend. He got it. They said the price is going to be real cheap. They came around. They took parts out of his car.

While they were grooming it. Like what have you got, Carl? Catalytic converter. Yeah, the hybrids. Catalytic converters and hybrids have got a ton of precious, valuable metals in them. So they'll be pretending to groom your car, but they're taking the parts out of it.

Which I can kind of understand. In America, it's a big place. You can kind of disappear, right? Yeah, totally. And like when people come and go. But in New Zealand if someone shows up you're going to be like oh I know you. You took my wheel.

Yeah. And you went to school with my brother. You're Steve's cousin. Yeah. But I couldn't confirm that's what's been happening on these because these are getting deleted as quickly as they get put up on our local Facebook page because it's kind of cotton on to they all look the same.

Yeah, right. But it's a scam. But it's a scam. And in America, they come around and they'd steal parts out of your car. And, of course, you wouldn't know. That'd be gone. And then you've got to start your car and it's like... Well, it's just in the driveway, isn't it?

Either making a hell of a noise or it just doesn't start at all. And it's because they've taken parts out of your car and they're gone. Oh, my goodness. Oh. But then also they're probably... Yeah, and they're also... Even if they don't come around to actually go through with it,

they know that where you live and that you've got a car that they can steal from. That was another person's thoughts were that they would have your name, some basic details, your car, because apparently you could say, oh, just chuck me the licence thing. I can put it in Car Jam

and I can get all the details of the car and then give you a more detailed quote and maybe send me some photos and then they've kind of got information on it if they want to steal your car or steal parts from your car. I just went on my local community page to see if there was anything like this

and I love this. Young 17-year-old entrepreneur here looking to bring an honest mobile car grooming service. Five years experience. Now you're 17. Yeah. You're telling me at 12 your mum wasn't like go wash the car or I'll kick your ass. I love it man. He's telling me. I love this.

17 I could have said 10 years mobile car experience. Yeah. Washing it in mum and dad's driveway and vacuuming it because I was scared not to. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's, this week's fact of the Day theme is national dishes that don't come from the country you think they do.

Loving it, by the way, Vaughan. Just some feedback mid-week. Loving it. Do you remember that time he did calendars? Oh my god. It was so embarrassing. Calendars week was a favourite. People loved calendars week. I don't think they did.

General feedback. Word on the street. We did some voox Pops. We did a lot of it. It's a cult classic. At the time, it was underappreciated, but, you know, a couple of months down the track, people are gagging for a replay. They weren't.

They're gagging for a replay. So every June the 4th, oh, no, sorry, it's the first Friday in June. Okay. Every year in the UK is National Fish and Chips Day. Yum. Now, we love fish and chips here in Aotearoa, New Zealand, don't we? Yes, we do.

I don't think they came from there, did they? They did not come from anywhere. Yeah, I knew he was going to say that. Where'd they come from? That's the idea of the entire week, you knob. I reckon it's not from the UK. I reckon it's not from the UK. I reckon it comes from a different country.

But the UK claimed it. I bet you I'll put money on it I reckon it comes from a different country. But the UK claimed it. I bet, yeah. I'll put money on it. Okay, what country then? Denmark. Yeah, I was going to say a Scandinavian country. Yeah, fish. Because of the fish. No, they pickle their fish up there.

Is it somewhere in Europe? It is somewhere in Europe. It's not Italy. It's not Italy. It's not Spain. It's got to be Spain. It's not coastal. It's coastal.

Very coastal. Which is crazy to Vaughan because he only just learnt the country's touch. I thought every country not coastal. It's coastal. Netherlands. Very coastal. Which is crazy to Vaughan because he only just learnt that countries touch. I thought every country was coastal. Countries can touch. Who knew? I thought every country was surrounded by water. I thought that big block of land was just one big country. That was just big Europe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Europasia. Europasia. Europasia, Africa. Fish and chips. Fish and chips. I just thought it's not the Netherlands. Fish me want to lick my lips.

Eat them for breakfast, lunch and tea. Fish and chips are for me. I've never heard that song before. I like cream bananas and pink ice cream. Where does this song come from? Wobbly jelly makes me scream. Mum's hamburgers are pretty cool. but I like fish and chips best of all. That's fish and chips rule at the end of that, I think.

I went to a DSL1 school. Was this like a rich kid's song? No, no, no. This song came around in the 80s, not the 50s. Fish and chips. Yeah, fish and chips. Wow. Makes me want to lick my lips.

I've never heard this song in my life. Where are fish and chips from? Portugal. Remember we talked about it earlier in the week. These Portuguese, these cheeky Portuguese. And the temporals from it. Of course. Because they battered and deep fried things.

Yum. They battered and deep fried it. And they, on their many travels, took them around the world. But it wasn't until like much later on that it became England's national dish. Right. Because if you think of English national dishes, it's all gross. Yeah. It's all gross stuff.

Mushy peas though. Is there roast from there? Is there roast from there? Yeah. Yorkshire pudds. Yorkshire pudds. Gravy roast. But the roasts were like for the high and mighty. It wasn't roast from there. It's a roast from there. Yeah, Yorkshire Puds. Yorkshire Puds. Gravy roast. But the roasts were like for the high and mighty.

It wasn't an everyday person's yum yum. Oh yeah, Vaughan, because they couldn't afford an oven. I know. That's one of the many reasons that they couldn't enjoy a roast. And they didn't have a King's Roast Shop down the corner. No. Even though it's named after their king. They still sing the fish and chip song at school.

Yeah, dude. My kids are singing along My kids came home singing it a few years ago And I joined in and they were just like how do you know this song I was like I too was a child once It was huge in the 90s I like green bananas I can probably find it What do you reckon it's called

Wobbly jelly makes me scream Fish and chip song New Zealand. Yeah, here it is. So many people messaging. Here we go. Right. England's national dishes.

Tika masala. Fish and chips. I like green bananas and pink ice cream. Wobbly jelly makes me scream. Mark's hamburgers are pretty cool, but I like fish and chips best of all. Oh, there it is. And not a great rhyme. Fish and chips.

Yeah. Fish and chips. You've been missed out, Fletch. Make me want to lick my lips. You've got to listen to the second verse. No, it's a pre-recorded song. That's why I missed out on it. That was the 90s.

You wouldn't encourage children to be eating fish and chips at breakfast. Fish and chips are for me. No. I like peanut butter on my bread. Maybe mom might add honey instead. Oh my God. I like spaghetti and Coco Pops. But fish and chips are the tops.

Fish and chips. Never heard this before in my life. I can't believe you haven't. I said there's more verses. This is the bongo drum interlude. Please don't tap your watch at me. This is the bongo drum interlude. Even though this is more of a steel drum than a bongo drum.

Nothing is more important than listening to this song right now. Yeah. Fish and chips. Makes me want to lick my lips. Eating for breakfast. Lunch and tea. Oh, should they go back to the green bananas and pig eyes? Okay, so they just repeat. They could have cut that off halfway through, but.

Fish and chips are for me. So today's fact, the fish and chips aren't even British, they're Portuguese. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Clay ZM. So we want to know from you right now if you have already ridden off today. If you know that today is already a bad day. Because apparently, according to this research, by 8.36am, the average person has already figured out if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. By 8.36 specifically. And that's based around the time that people wake up and they start their day.

They're laying the foundation for the day. Brekkie, getting ready, planning, da-da-da, the weather, we see what we're doing. By 8.36 we're already decided. Oh yeah, like if it's a grey and cold day, that's already like, ugh. Wake up, your duvet is off, you've caught a chill. You know, you get out, the floor's cold, you had a bad sleep.

Here's the top five reasons that people have already decided by 8.36 it's a rubbish day. Yeah. Forget your phone at home. Number five. For losing the keys. Then you're like, you're frustrated. They're late to work already.

We also like, we get up in the dark and when you can't find your keys and you've got to go, it's awful. I hate it. Number three, waking up with a headache. Oh, yep. That was me this morning, but she sorted it. That was also self-inflicted. Yep, yep. Number two, slept poorly through the night.

And number one, waking up feeling crook. Like when you're just like, oh, I don't feel good. So those are the reasons. You can pull the day back around. They will say if these things go wrong in the morning and you can't get it together by 8.36, the day's lost. Or maybe you wake up to some bad news or messages that you've had overnight. I, in general, can turn my day around quite quickly.

And then I can turn it back. It's all about your outlook, isn't it? It is. It's all about positive attitude. Positive attitude. You get back what you give out. You know what I mean? What you put out into the universe is what you receive for the day.

Anyway. We wouldn't stop buying that. Nah, no way. That's a stinky attitude. Because you know some great people and they have shit times. Oh, no. And then there's some real douchebags. Do you think for us, because we wake up at like 4 something AM,

is our 8.36 more like a... A 5 something. Yeah. Probably. Okay. Well, this is what we wanted to ask because 8.36 more like a... A five something. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Okay. Well, this is what we wanted to ask because 8.36 apparently... Has just been and gone.

Has been and gone. It is a time that people know if it's going to be a bad day or not. What has made this day a write-off? Why is it bad already? Yeah, have you decided already it's a bad day? Got a couple. Okay, kick us off, kick us off.

This was me yesterday when I woke up early and did a 19 kilometre run and my stupid Garmin only counted 8,000 steps of it. Kick us off. This was me yesterday when I woke up early and did a 19-kilometre run and my stupid Garmin only counted 8,000 steps of it. Oh. Garmin. Garmin. That's what you get for wearing a stinky Garmin.

Garmin, be kidding me. Georgia's not listening. Georgia's got a Garmin. Oh, it's embarrassing. Look, I can see it. I can see it. I can see it on her wrist. Oh, Georgia, there's a fish under your desk.

Quickly, get it. How many metres to the nearest golf hole? Garmin. Garmin. Someone said, yeah, my engine light came on this morning. I'm done. Yeah, and that's going to be lots of money. It's not always, though.

It's not always expensive. Do you think it just comes on for fun? Sometimes it comes on for fun. Oh, no, if you're driving a Volkswagen, every time you turn the key, it's expensive. It's your fault for driving a Volkswagen Polo. Oh yeah, how embarrassing. Someone else's car didn't start this morning. 8.36, they've already

decided the day's a write-off. Okay, give us a call. 0800 DARS at M. We wanted you to text through 9696. Have you already decided that it's a bad day? So a study has found that by 8.36 AM, people know if the day is bad or not. If it's a bad day. So a study has found that by 8.36am people know if the day is bad or not. If it's a write-off, if they're done with it. Things go wrong and you just go, oh well, this is going to be a bad day. And so we wanted to know, have you already decided by 8.36 this

morning? Turns out, yes. Renee, you had decided before 8.36, today's a bad day. Yeah, look, I think I've actually ruined my husband's day this morning. Oh, have you? Dragged him into it. Yeah, I did, yeah. So our son came into our room early this morning saying, Dad, Dad, I think the cows are out. So he jumps out of bed just in his undies. I had unfortunately left the gate open last night.

Oh. Yeah. Whoopsies. He's probably thinking, why did I marry a townie? Yeah, so there were cows trotting down the driveway and all over around the house. Yeah, so today was a bad day and it wasn't even 8.30 sucks. No, and it's not a bad day for me.

It's for him, so sorry about that. Yeah, soz. Soz, babe. I mean, you go and have a good day. Yeah, don't be a house. Just because you ruined his day. It's lovely. Yeah, it's a beautiful day. So it's a positive mean, you go and have a good day. Yeah, don't be a wuss. Just because you ruined his day. Dining's lovely. Yeah, it's a beautiful day.

It's a positive outlook, isn't it? It's what you put out into the world is what you get back. Thanks, Renee. Anonymous, it's already a bad day for you. Why is that? Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm a contractor for a small high school canteen,

so it's me and one other worker. And I rolled out of bed to pay my wages to my staff member, paid my supplier instead. Oh, no. Now there's a rigmarole to get it back. There's a rigmarole, yeah. I then had to go to the bank and deposit my own cash to pay her wages. Oh, no.

It's already a bit, but are there lollies? I was going to say, is this a school canteen? Are we going to get some lollies? Can we get some lollies? already a bit, but are there lollies? I was going to say, is there a school canteen where we can get some lollies? Can we get some lollies? Custard Square waiting. No lollies anymore. What do we got?

What's the best thing that you serve? Probably our chicken burgers. They're the most popular chicken and bacon. The canteen. Yum. The canteen?

Yeah, nice. What about a sweet treat? What's the sweet treat at the canteen? Yeah. Cookie. We do a similar version to the cookie time cookies.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in the microwave. That's good stuff. Do you let the students heat them up for 10 seconds in the microwave? Yes. If you're not too busy. Heat it up 10 seconds.

We do this with about 1,000 kids. Oh, wow. She does? This is a small school canteen. You're running a village there. Well, I hope that day gets better, Anonymous. Yeah. Thanks for sharing.

Chloe, by 8.36, it was a bad day? Oh, mate, 4 a.m. What happened at 4 a.m.? Well, I was staying at a friend's house, and my son never wet the bed, but 4 a.m., he's like, Mummy, I wet the bed. Oh, classic, mate.

I did that every night. Count your lucky stars. And then I realised, oh, my God, my friend doesn't have a mattress protector on the bed. We've got a socket mattress. What kind of day are you on? What kind of day is it? Drag the mattress out on the deck, let the sun hit it?

Yeah, so 4am, two loads of washing done. I've already spot cleaned the mattress, showered a child. Yeah, it's been a day. Great day. I don't know if that day's turning around. I would just write that day off. She says I should do it a pep in her step, though. You do have pep in your step, Chloe.

We like to hear it. We do. All right, keep that day your bitch. 8.36, the average human being has already worked out if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. And, John, you worked out well and truly by 8.36 it was a bad day. Yeah, I've worked out my washing machine hates me. Oh, okay.

And I've also decided that given I turned 51 the other day, I put my T-shirt on this morning, my work shirt, the one that I went and got and thought was very flash, and my belly was peeking out the bottom. Oh, Bubba. No. Wait, is it the washing machine, though, or is it turning 51 that's made the belly peek out the bottom?

I think it's turning 51, and it's got nothing to do with, and the washing machine, and nothing to do with the beersies and chocolate up anything. Oh, no. You deserve some beersies and chocolates. Well, it sounds like you might be running a hot washer and using the dryer a bit too much, because that will do it.

It'll shrink your shirt. It'll shrink your cotton shirt. And it's not going to get any worse this weekend from beer vana either. Yeah. Beer vana. You deserve it. It sounds like the whole weekend. We can Beavana either. Beavana, you deserve it. It sounds like the whole weekend. We can start again on Monday.

We'll see you Monday. Start again Monday. Good luck for that. Monday. Yeah, good luck for that Monday, John. And Monday. We'll write off the rest of the week. Monday.

Some messages in. Why at 8.36 this morning was it already a bad day? I dropped a bowl of slimy cat food all over my foot and leg and then just got out of the shower. It's going to be a bad day. Yeah. It's going to be a bad day. Yeah. It's going to be a bad day. Been up with my kids since 1am.

Vomiting. Vomit bugs in the house. Yuck. That's going to be a bad day. I don't have to deal with that. No, you don't. No. It was clean sheets day yesterday.

What? On a Wednesday? No, that's Sunday, you idiot. That's a weekend thing. You don't clean sheets midweek. Who's doing that? Who's changing this bed on a Wednesday? Can we do that silly little poll?

What day is clean sheets day? Saturday or Sunday. It's got to be a weekend. Unless you poop. Why? What's the best day to dry the sheets? What if you woke up today and you're like, perfect day to get the sheets on.

It's going to be raining or weekend. But I wouldn't because I've only slept in them for three nights. Yeah. Because I changed them on Sunday. Oh, right. You're out of whack. Okay, so imagine it's next Thursday. Well, I'm not going longer than a week.

Oh, really? You feral. You feral man. We're going to sit a little poll this, because this is fascinating that there could be some monsters out there. Well, anyway, it was clean sheets day. It's absurd. Yesterday, I felt movement in the bed in the middle of the night.

It was my three-year-old sneaking into our bed, and then woke up this morning with a big wet spot, because a three-year-old had pissed the bed and then woke up this morning with a big wet spot because a three-year-old had pissed the bed. Done with today. Done with today. Got in the car after my husband had used it and it had three kilometres of gas in the tank, apparently. Oh, that is not on.

I hate that. I thought this was just a wife trick. No. No, it's not. Aaron says it all the time. They're doing that. Monsters. Had to get the kids to school in kindy and me to work by 8.45.

I'm still driving to work. Well, you're 10 minutes late because you have to stop for petrol. Been there. I'm a project manager. Monday to Friday I wake up and the minute I'm awake I realise it's going to be a bad day.

I never get a phone call saying, hey, great news, we're on schedule or hey boss, no problems here. Hey, we just finished that project. It's under budget and under time. Yeah. We nailed it. A couple of people's phones updated overnight and turned the alarms off. That's an awful feeling.

Oh, have they not fixed that yet? I feel like that's a thing all the time. Middle of carving in rural mid Canterbury. The frost has frozen the milk pump. Now late for preschool drop off. It's not even 9am. Well behind for the day. I'm almost thinking of running it off entirely. I'll be going home.

Someone else said, I'll be going home after work to a bed covered in clothes because of the 1,000 outfits I tried on this morning that didn't fit right and I hated them. Yes. Someone said, I snoozed my alarm this morning so I was really rushed, tripped over the dog,

spilt hot tea down my boobies, then tripped over on my own feet, opening the gate and then hit my head on the gate while I trapped. Now I'm in traffic. It's a bad day. Just go home. Any update on how the boobies are doing tripped over on my own feet opening the gate and then hit my head on the gate while I tripped. Now I'm in traffic. It's a bad day. Any update on how the boobies are doing? How hot was the tea?

Get an ice pack on those boobies for a few minutes. Get an ice pack on the boobies. Run cold water on the boobies. Am I doing this? If there's one thing this show will give you, it's good boobie care. Great boobie care. We're always looking out for boobies. Huge breast fans across the board.

We are the radio station of breast lovers. And breast owners. That's right. Across the board. My daughter decided to... And gays. And gays. Yeah, they're there too.

And we're the radio station for lesbians. Famously love boobies. Well, they love boobies, so they fit into the previous umbrella. They got them and they love them. My daughter decided to tip her milk and cereal on the couch. We would never have been allowed to eat. Nowhere near the couch.

Nowhere near the couch. When I was a kid, our couch was already 50 years old. I feel like I grew up in a house where everything was already ancient. And antique and furniture. But we would never have taken cereal near it. Oh my God, did you read this? Parked outside a dairy? No.

A drunk homeless man mistook my car for a wall and urinated on it. He did it on the passenger window while I was inside the car. And I got to see everything. Everything. Go home. Yeah, the day's done. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end.

So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.