ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 22nd January 2025

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Aussie coffee is $10 Millenial Update Top 6: Other Claims that Trump made 2025 Office Slang SLP Where do you see worse behaviour - Hens or Stag do? Stolen cookie at Moustache What's ya jobby? St John chat paramedic Gilly Gates Why did your parents send you to outward bound Weirdest Ad complaints Earplugs at concerts What did you do for a discount?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts

From the ZM Podcast Network This is Fleshman and Hayley's Big Pod Thanks to Animates Making happy happen for pets ZM's Fleshman and Hayley Thank you Bryn Rudkin Good morning, welcome to the show Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn Rudkin. Good morning. Welcome to the show Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Can I just give an update for those that have been listening this week on our triumphant return for 2025. The prioritising sleep that Hayley and I are trying to follow Fletch's schedule of prioritising sleep.

I believe I shouldn't be comparing my sleep priorities to a man who has 1% of the obligations. I have that sort of work. I am trying, man, and it sucks. It sucks hard. I was in bed last night at like 8. I couldn't get to sleep until like 10.30. Okay, well, you're not tiring yourself

out. I did tire myself out. I did fall asleep yesterday afternoon for a moment. Oh, nice. We'll see that you ruined it. I tried. I did tie myself out. I did fall asleep yesterday afternoon for a moment. Oh, nice. We'll see that you ruined it. I tried. I was on the, like, sitting down doing work, and I was trying not to fall asleep all afternoon. Like, come on, come on, come on.

Then I took myself to bed at 7.30, same thing, 11 o'clock. I was like, what's happening? What's happening? Yeah, terrible sleep. Well, keep going. Hot, uncomfortable. I'm trying to keep going. I'm trying to keep going.

Brown noise, turned it off, put on a book, turned it off, moved bedrooms. Anyway. Keep going. I'm this close to going back to booze and whatever. I'm also not drinking during the week. Booze and sedation. We'll just hang in there.

Prioritising sleep. It's a long journey It's a foundation to health and life Do you do the SAS breathing? No, what's that? Do you have to get to sleep? Have you ever tried this? I've read articles about it

You breathe in for four seconds And then you hold it for seven And then you take eight seconds to exhale Oh, out your nose or your mouth No, I've got clinical anxiety I don't breathe at that rate This is mine But all I do then is start concentrating on I don't have chronic anxiety. I don't breathe at that rate. This is mine.

But all I do then is start concentrating on the breathing. Mine's racing about the breathing. Mine's racing. It's like, concentrate harder on the breathing. Yeah. We're here, though, and we're full of energy and ready to entertain New Zealand. And you have the millennial update in your life. Oh, my God. I waited for this moment.

It's finally happened. I think we just actually just across the board need a little bit of a millennial update as millennials. Yeah, because we are the subject of a lot of ridicule online. It's been around for a while, but it continues. We're getting it from both ends. Yeah. Yeah. By that, I mean.

Did you just see the other day, I think I saw an article, a Gen B was born. What? Because we're getting Gen Bs now. So are we just going to circle the alphabet for the next 24 years? I think so, yeah. So when you're in a home, you'll be like, oh, these Gen Ds.

These bloody Gen Ms. I think you'd be quite old. I'll be gone by then. Okay, wishful thinking. Well, a millennial update. So in the top six as well, Trump has been sworn in as the President of the United States.

And in his speech, he made a statement that America split the atom. Bitch. I'm not. Step back. Step back. We split the atom. There is a, out of Nelson and Wakefield, there is a monument. Yeah, to Lord Ernest Rutherford, the man on the $100 bill, New Zealand's greatest scientist.

He split the atom. And thanks to him, we have nuclear bombs. Thanks. And other stuff. Thanks mate. Nuclear power submarines. Yeah, I mean lots of good things. Oh, nuclear waste,

Chernobyl, Hiroshima. Yeah, he is a hero. Yeah, he's a hero. He's our nation's hero. And he was a Kiwi. That's right. So what a lot of people missed

is the other claims Trump made throughout his speech that upset New Zealanders. He claims so much of our stuff. Okay, we'll deal with that soon in the top six. Next on the show. Terrible news if you are like many Kiwis thinking of moving

to Australia. Terrible news. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Coffee. Just before we do coffee, you owe an apology to our Nelson listener. Why? Monuments and bright water. Oh, bright water. Of course.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's bright water. I just, I'm just stoked. I'm just stoked. So, the apology, please? Yeah, apology accepted. No, no, no. You're the issuer.

You issue. No, I'm accepting their apology. I'm not sure that's how that works. Gosh. Is this why I've been having so many arguments in my relationship? Yeah. Am I apologising wrong? Yeah.

You are. Yeah. Stand your ground. In that case, apology accepted. He flipped that around like a woman. I mean, that was actually majestic. He really did. Yeah.

He really did. Apology accepted, listener. Thank you. Wow. Yeah. I'm going to use that. That was masterful. Tuck that up, Miss Lee.

All right. So coffee. We know that coffee prices are rising, right, because of the cost of the boons. Yeah. The boons are going up. Apparently, Australia is heading towards $10 being a normal accepted amount for a coffee. What?

$10? Is that surely? Mamma Mia. Surely that's the same here. It'll be very similar, I imagine. They talked to a barista. He was like the top barista in Australia. Who else barista?

No. That's the law one. No wonder I lost my recent court case. That guy with tattoos and an apron really did a shit job of getting me out of trouble. He made a good bloody, he did the good art though. Oh, didn't he?

His cinnamon sprinkle. Made a great mochaccino. Beautiful mochaccino. Almost won the judge over. So his name's Tim Adams. He was Australia's top barista in 2009. A while ago. He's hanging on to that title all along.

Oh my God, that mochaccino. Yeah, that's like a best fish and chips from 2004. Yeah. I was a drama prefect in 2007. Cool. Anyway, so he was saying that the day of the $4 flat white, long gone. And it's never coming back. $4 flat white, long gone. And it's never coming back.

$4 flat white, gone. Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. He thinks that we're heading more towards within the next sort of 24 months an $8 to $9 coffee in Australia just for a standard coffee. And there are lots of places in Australia that maybe do like a slightly high-end bean or a specialised coffee or you can choose this bean, this bean, this bean. The top one on this, there's a,

in his cafe that he works at, this guy, 12 buck. What? 12 buck, no. What is in a 12 buck? So that's alternative milk.

Okay, so this is a, it's called a Panama Finca Deborah. Oh, okay. Produce, it's got a produce, you know, produced by this and notes of dried cherry, rose, malt, dark chocolate. That's too much. You know, that's...

This looks like a wine menu. But what are, like, coffees at the moment? What are they, like, $6.50, $6? Well, we go, I go iced. And so that's like $7. But then I heard Georgia Burt. Whose show is after hours and available on iHeartRadio.

Yeah, listen during the work day. Absolutely. Take us with you wherever you go on iHeartRadio. That's three. She was saying there's this cheeky new trend where people just go and order like an espresso like the cheapest, like a short black and just take their own like take a wake up

of ice and water. Oh, I think that's. Because that's all an iced coffee is. Yes. So then you get one for like four bucks rather than paying $3.50 for ice. Yeah, you could get a carton of whatever milk you wanted for three, four dollars. Yeah, leave it in the fridge at work. Leave it in the fridge at work.

I thought about this because you know I like my iced coffee phase. I thought about bringing an ice cube tray in to the communal freezer but then everyone else would, who are my cubes? So you'd get it and there would be no cubes. I'd be like, who didn't replace the cubes? So coffee's going up, so Australia Not the place to be. Not the place to be. It's not only the

cost of the beans, it's the cost of rent, it's the increase in wages because they pay people better over there. Right, suckers. Suckers. Don't you know you can pay them way less? So it's like the cost of everything that they were saying most

cafes over the last five years have already been increasing it by 50 cents a year. Right, so give it another couple of years. That $3.50 flat white, that's she gone. Long gone. She gone. Guys, it finally happened. I've been waiting for this since last year.

It's been like six months or something since this happened for everyone else. And I kept deleting the app. I kept deleting Instagram and re-downloading it, re-signing in, signing out, signing in, delete the app. And I couldn't get the millennial font. Now, you know, last year there was an update on Instagram where it just changed and all these new fonts available. Except for you. Except for me, it just didn't happen. They weren't available.

And so I would keep on going on and making content and seeing people posting this great font, which was called Poster. Now I don't know if it was producer Shannon or what, but you said this was the millennial font. Did you nickname this the millennial font? Oh no, it's kind of a

collective with the Gen Z. We have those meetings you know how we do the collective way. To mock millennials. So I think it's the sheriffs. I think there's something about it. It's okay to... The what?

Sheriffs. Sheriffs. Sheriffs. Sheriffs are more... I'm a sheriff of this here town. Yeah, sheriffs are the bits that make it look like the letters are holding onto the ground. I believe I'm throwing stones in a glass house, right? Yeah, they mock us for our fonts, but they don't know what a sheriff is.

They don't know what a sheriff is. The difference between a sheriff and a font know what a sheriff is. They don't know what a sheriff is. The difference between a sheriff and a font. And a serif. Whoopsies. But yeah, I think it's all right if you don't chuck the big black background around it. Yeah. Is that extra millennial? That's extra millennial.

I love it, though, because sometimes you can't see it clearly. What about all cats? To make it really pop from the background, I think putting the black box behind it works. Do you know, I'm so, I just love it. And so you've finally got it. So I've been trying to, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying to post more, trying to be a bit more active on my socials.

And I went to do it the other day and boom, it was just there. It was just there. Well now. Along with the rectangles. We haven't talked about this. The grid is now rectangles, not squares. On Instagram.

Don't get me started. What's happened? It's so frustrating. We agreed to squares. We are like FVH social page. I had all of our little subtitles lined up and now we're all skewed. What do you mean it's rectangles? Go look at our profile.

Oh no, I don't like that. Because we've posted with squares in mind. Yeah, although... Mine hasn't changed to rectangles. Oh, embarrassing for you. Oh no, so it's going to happen. This is like when I didn't get the millennial font for six months. Yeah, I don't like that.

It should be squares. Yeah, it's rectangles. I don't like that. Although I will say my book account, I've only ever posted like in the rectangle size. So actually it looks perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've always posted squares.

I've never given this much thought to it. Yeah. You don't really care. Some people actually really care how their grid looks. This is getting old, eh? When you don't notice something until it changes and someone tells you and you're like, I'd never noticed it in the first place.

I didn't even clock that. No. Do you know what's also on the topic of millennials? We're still being roasted on Lime. Yeah, well, it's because Shannon's there mocking you. Her and the sheriff. No, her and the sheriff. The sheriffs of Gen Z.

I am the sheriff of millennial pauses. Yeah, have been mocking the millennial pauses still. And I love these videos where, like, I got my Gen Z social media manager to edit my video. I will say editing your guy's stuff is good fun. Fletch loves one, but Fletch does it purposely

where you'll give like a whole second, then you'll breathe, then you'll do it. Yours is very purposeful. No, that's just good voice work. But that's just because you can edit the video.

I'm the man that edits all of our audio. Yeah. I do it when I do voiceover. You go... I wouldn't post with a giant pause. I saw somebody over the holidays start walking

and then... Yeah, from standing. Yeah, from standing to walking. I was like, what are you doing? Walking into the screen gives you the chance to eliminate the pause as part of the walk. There's literally an in-app trim feature. Please use it.

Yeah. It's so... Yeah. I mean, literally an in-app trim feature. Please use it. Yeah. It's so, it's, yeah. I mean, I get it. Hi, how are you? It's not even that though. It's, hi. And the little teeth click. And there's slight hesitation.

But that hesitation is because we're being smacked. That's fear. That's fear. That's trauma. It's anxiety. We think before we speak because sometimes when we spoke as a child, it led to us getting a smack. And they would literally say to you, think before you open your mouth. And you say, am I going to get smacked?

No, here I go. Breathe, click, go. It's internalised trauma. Yeah, well, trim it because. You're not allowed to make fun of trauma. Remember Gen Z? You guys are all like, yeah. You guys are the anti-trauma generation.

That's what the pause is. We're just making sure we're not going to get a smack. But yeah, give it a trim on socials, please. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the Notes app on Vaughn's phone, this is the Top 6. Hello. Hello.

Well, the Nelson Mayer has responded, Nick Smith, to a Donald Trump claim that America split the atom in his speech. In his speech about how great America was and how it's about to get greater again because that was his promise, make America great again. America pushed through thousands of miles of rugged land, of untamed wilderness. They crossed deserts, scaled mountains, braved untold dangers,

won the Wild West, ended slavery, rescued millions from tyranny, of untamed wilderness. They crossed deserts, scaled mountains, braved untold dangers, won the Wild West, ended slavery, rescued millions from tyranny, lifted billions from poverty, harnessed electricity, split the atom. Stop right there. I mean, that's just factually incorrect. And it's one of our most prideful

moments, you know, prideful claims. First at the top of Everest. Kind of look at our notes, right? We gave women the right to vote. Kate Shepard. Suffrage. The $20 notes got the Queen on it. Loved her.

Probably just felt obligated, but yeah, we loved her. Su'aprananata on the 50. Our Maori lawyer and leader. And Lernest, Lernest, Lernest Rutherford on the 100. Because he split the atom. a Māori lawyer and leader and learners learners learners Rutherford on the 100 because he split the atom

which you never see because you never have a hundy nah pretty rare I've literally never had a hundy put him on the 5 and put the penguin on the 100 actually when you get out cash

they always give it in 50s or 20s yeah you never get hundies you never get the hundies sometimes you get a 10 when are you going to get a hundy who's got a hundy yeah it's a Hyundai. Sometimes you get a 10. When are you going to get a Hyundai? Who's got a Hyundai? Yeah, it's a pretty

special day to get a Hyundai. Well, I like the top six other claims. If you've got a Hyundai in your pocket, just know it's a great day. Do you know what I mean? It's a good day.

You're just rocking around. And they always look a little bit crisper too because they're not getting through as many hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like fives are getting

a hammering. Oh, yeah. Top six other claims Trump made that upset New Zealand in his inauguration speech. Number six, he claimed that Rambo's end was in Oakland, California. What?

No, it's in Auckland, New Zealand. Oh, my God. The same mistake that Stephanie and Michelle on Full House made once. Do you remember that episode of Full House? No. When they got separated at the airport and they got on a plane and they thought it was flying to Oakland, but it was flying to Auckland.

Oh, my gosh. And Auckland got a mention on a TV show, and of was flying to Oakland but it was flying to Auckland. Oh my gosh. And Auckland got a mention on a TV show and of course everybody went crazy. Yeah, we love when we get mentioned. We love that.

Who mentioned New Zealand recently? Yes, I heard something too and they're like, I was something in New Zealand. Yeah. Was it the Jackal? Yeah, it was, yeah. They mentioned someone

moved to New Zealand or something. Yeah, someone escaped to New Zealand. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other claims Trump made that upset New Zealand in his inauguration speech.

He said, Lorde's album Solar Power has been renamed Fossil Fuels. Unbelievable. Whether she liked it or not. That's rough. He just claimed that. Yeah, he just said that's going to be renamed Fossil Fuels. Number four on the list of the top six other claims

Trump made that upset New Zealand in his inauguration speech. He said that Elon was trying to do the Munna wave when he did the Nazi salute. That was wild. As a white guy who kind of grew up doing a wave like the Munna wave, but I'm not saying I invented it at all. It's a little bit different, but it was always very important to point the hand down.

And there's a bend in the bow. Yeah, bend in the elbow. Because if you go straight arm, hand up, as a white man with a shaved head. Scary. Yeah. Loose fingers. You flick the fingers, right? Flick the fingers, keep a bend in the bow and we're safe. Because it was how my dad

used to wave to other truck drivers when he was driving trucks. Yeah. Right. Flick a hand. It was always about the flick of the fingers, but you've got to keep the fingers splayed, elbow bent, wrist bent. Yeah. Otherwise, you're just too close to it. Number three on the list of the top six claims Trump made that upset New Zealanders' inauguration speech. He said they're going to rename the kiwi fruit the eagle fruit.

Oh, my God. Just bold. Absolutely not. So bold. No, I'm not eating eagle fruit. No. Sorry. I'd rather call it a Chinese gooseberry.

Is that what they call it? Yeah, that was the original name for the kiwi fruit, the Chinese gooseberry. I'll go back to that before I go eagle fruit. Number two on the list of the claims that Trump made during his inauguration speech that upset New Zealanders. He said Anthony Starr, who played Homelander on The Boys, was a great American and the Homelander is the best of us. For a start, Homelander's not the best of us.

That's the whole point of the show, right? He's kind of the bad guy. He's so great in that show. He is so great in that show. But he's a New Zealanderelander's not the best of us. That's the whole point of the show, right? It is, yeah. He's kind of the bad guy. He's so great in that show. He is so great in that show. But he's a New Zealander. Yeah. Let's not forget. And number one on the list

of the top six other claims Trump made that upset New Zealand is the inauguration speech. He said, American cheese is the best cheese in the world. No, it's always orange. It is the worst. I'm sorry.

If you call that rubber, orange, trash, a president, I mean a cheese, then you've got absolutely the wrong end of the stick. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Meow. Now, still workshopping that. Now, I've never really worked in office. I used to work for my dad at a finance company. I'd fluff around quite a bit on social media most of the time and then ask for my pay so I could go under the table on daddy-daughter pay.

$10 in the hand an hour. Bye. Anyway, so I've never really been part of a corporate office, so to speak. This would be the closest when we would have a meeting. We'd have meetings after the show. And I'm like, what are these words?

Things like KPIs, which now I understand are of great importance to me. Which stand for? Key Incentives to Perform. KIPs? Key Information Performance Reviews. The P goes before the I. Key Performance Indicators. Indicate before the I. Key performance indicators. Indicate initiatives.

Initiatives. Exactly. So I'm onto them. And I think about them constantly, these KOPs. Now, I found a list online, and I will refer to our girlies, Shannon and Karwin, who perhaps spend more time in the office side of ZM than we do. Do you have any office slang that kind of irks you?

Well, there's a list and I can give you some. I want to know if you are tired of hearing these. The business jargon we want to get rid of for 2024. Okay. AI. 2025. No, no, no. This is the jargon from 2024 that we're done with.

Oh, I don't want to get rid of it. AI. Circle back. Oh, my God. I hate a circle back. Circle back's a big one. Okay. AI, circle back. Oh, my God. I hate a circle back. Circle back's a big one. Okay, can I just circle back? So we were talking about something,

and then the conversation went over here. Vaughn, I'm just going to circle back to what you were saying earlier. Okay. It happens lots in emails where the chain will go down, and then it's like, let's circle back to where we started. We're circling back. Yeah. As per my last email.

Here's some more. Disrupt. We're going to disrupt. I hate that. Cloud. That's like, disrupt is the modern version of let's make something go viral. Yes.

We're going to disrupt the algorithm. What we really want is something that will go viral. Synergy. Take this offline. We're going to take this offline. What is take this offline, man? I've heard it. That just means there's no paper trail for HR. Doesn't it? Is that what that means? Take this offline. They've got, doesn't it? Is that what that means? Take this offline.

They've got a definition for it. Does it do something about this outside of the meeting that we're currently in? Yeah, maybe. Is that what it means? It simply means that the topic should be discussed outside of the current group meeting. Okay. Right. So that's like us.

You know, sometimes we'll be talking on air and when we're like, that's for off air. Yeah. We should say, I think we'll take this offline. Okay. Yeah, great. We could say take this off air. Yeah. Pivot's a great one that we should say, I think we'll take this offline. Okay. Yeah, great. We could say take this off air. Yeah, pivot's a great one that I've definitely heard of a lot.

Hate it, hate it. What does that mean? Like, let's pivot to something. Like completely change directions. We're not doing well. We got to change this. Yeah. Yeah.

Like things are going badly. You just said you hear that a lot and then said we're doing badly. We need to change everything. Yeah. Me, Shannon, not FAH. Leverage is another one. 110%.

I need everyone to be giving 110%. Shoot me. Okay, so we hear these terms, right? And I'm sure our listeners, they'll feel familiar. There's a guy called Dan Bowerman. He is a comedian. And he has put together a list of some office jargon alternatives for 2025. Now, the first one, we're not going to be saying deep dive anymore.

We now say I'm about to go scuba mode. I know some of you might have circled back before. That's all about to change. We're now saying permission to rotate office, daddy. 2025, we're not saying low-hanging fruit. The new phrases will be in the peer distance. Or the alternative is peer by. Mental health at the forefront of the workforce in 2025.

We're not saying wellness days or mental health days, simply replacing that with taking a slaycation. Slaycation, so good. I love it. I'm just feeling a little bit run down, Ross. I just think I need a slaycation. A slaycation. What was the, so low hanging fruit,

that was the one that you hated a lot. Yeah, that's the easy way, right? That's been around for years. Yeah, in the peer distance. What is blue sky thinking? That's another one that drives me nuts. I'm like, I sit down. Let's have some blue sky thinking.

Like to think big? Yeah, maybe. Is that what it is? Blue sky thinking? Oh, right. Yeah, think positive. Blue sky thinking is just as much dreamy as it is inspiring. The term essentially refers to thinking outside of the box

or brainstorming isn't a way that's constrained by the limits of practicality. Right. Because that's what it is. Let's have some blue sky thinking. And I'm like, okay, and I'll hit them with three ideas and they'll be like, well, we can afford none of those. And I said, you told me to think like this.

Yeah. So you want grey skies? You want grey skies? You want moderately overcast skies? Yeah. Okay, let's call it moderately overcast thinking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Love it. That's what we're going to do for 2025. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little poe.

Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little Poll is which event would you see worse behaviour at, a hen's do or a stag do? The origin story of this is that somebody had images on their phone and it was a hen's do and the topless waiter, he had his penis out. Yeah. He became bottomless. I didn't know you were allowed to do that.

This wasn't like a sneaky photo. This was posed, group photo, consent given for photo. Full sunlight outside in a townhouse.

On a deck. On a deck. He could have got splinters. Multiple mothers present. Wild. Absolutely wild. Could you imagine if you'd gone home with a photo of a topless stripper from a stag stew? How would

that go down? There was no photos at my stag stew. When you, whenever there was ever, because we did go to, and I certainly wouldn't go now. Oh, we've all been to a strip joint. I'm certainly not where I am at now, but you weren't allowed to take photos.

And I said to this person, were these sneaky photos? And she said, oh no, and then showed me the photos and they were full posing. Yeah, but how would that go down if the shoe was on the other foot

is what I'm saying. Oh yeah, 100%. I've been to a few hen stews, but I have classy friends. I have never been to a henens do that had a stripper. Really? I've actually never seen, I've been to a strip club, but I've never been to a party with a stripper.

Wow, okay. Male or female. But it's not just the fact that there's strippers, it's that it gets out of hand. It's more, I never knew there were strippers that you took the bottom off. Neither. I thought with the women you might see a boobie And with the men we get a chest and a thong

But it's not just about that To me it's not about that It's about like I've seen more raucous behaviour on Fairies back from Oaxaca Island darling Hen's parties are always So much wilder Maybe guys stay on the island

And women want to get back off the island. Who knows? I reckon it's equally as bad. Now, bear in mind that with these results, most of our Instagram audience would be 60 odd percent female.

So maybe it's skewed a little bit. Maybe. Right. Because do you think women will admit that they're worse than men? Oh, 100%. Oh my God. If I'm not even thinking

about hen's nights, I'm thinking about girls' nights out. It's crazy. I'm like, out of control. Ruckus. What event do you think would have worse behaviour? Stag Do did win at 63%. Okay. And Hen's Do is at 37%. So not like

90 to 10 or 80, 20. Yeah. 60 to 40 pretty much just shy of it. But I think you're right. This is our heavy female audience being like, not us. Not us. Not us. Oh, we stay.

Those are so much worse. Zinnia writes in. I just love that name, Zinnia. Great name. It's a flower. Is it? Stand up for a flower, you. So, grow some Zinnia this year.

We'll talk about it later. No, we won't. We can. I'm good. I think we will. I'm fine. We'll try. Where's he going to grow a Zinnia? In a pot on it later. No, we won't. We can. I'm good. I think we will. I'm fine. We'll try. Where's he going to grow his zinnia?

In a pot on the window. No. That'll be lovely. I voted stags, says the lovely zinnia, because I've always been team woman. But I'm just reflecting back on my bartending days and I seriously need to change my answer. Women get sloppy.

This is the thing. Women, I think men get a bit ruckus. Women get sloppy. Because men eat at stag do's. I'll go as far to say women don't prioritize eating. Oh, no, it's very down the list. You don't prioritize eating. Men love to eat.

Yeah. I've never been at a stag do hungry. Yeah. Because we love to eat. Women. We'll do cheese nibbles. I'll have something for breakfast. Half a piece of toast.

Anyway, I'm off. Yeah. 10 a.m. Bottomless brunch with that tiny like eggs benedict. They don't get that. That piece of toast. Anyway, I'm off. Yeah. 10 a.m. Bottomless brunch with that tiny, like, eggs benedict. They don't give you that. That's me for the day. I'm not eating that. It's too creamy.

Mike says, stag dudes. Mine was deplorable. You don't see a guy in a G-string, a pink tutu carrying a stuffed dinosaur every day and all the nasty types of challenges. Shannon has updated our female followers stats to 77% on Instagram. I honestly think that you've taken that into account. to 77% on Instagram. I honestly think that you've taken that into account. I think we need to be waiting this.

Yeah. From experience of the staggers I've attended, I've seen respectable men turn into absolute delinquent weapons. Minister Society says John. Agreed, John. But you can also see the classiest woman you know. Yeah.

Face down, skirt up over her back, no undies on, letting it breathe on the ferry. You don't even have to look that hard. Sophie said, there's a party boat in Queenstown that says, hens are worse, especially when strippers are around. They'll often have to cut the bar off early for hens. Again. There you go.

Eat more than half a piece of toast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesse said hens because they're always they're always hooking up with the guys like it's okay. What's the pride?

Staggers up for the boys. This is their experience and what they've witnessed. Maybe they work in a bar. Okay. The staggers are for the boys and the boys prioritize the boys but the hens

end up hooking up with the guys because the only guy there becomes the priority. That's interesting. Okay. The stag news is for the boys, and the boys prioritize the boys, but the hens end up hooking up with the guys because the owner guy there becomes the priority. That's interesting. Okay. People saying stags have obviously never been to a hens night. Men are very predictable with their behavior slash activities. Women are undercover feral. Wow.

Yeah. I don't disagree. I just, yeah. Polly said hens. Women are feral. She uses a very expletive word before disagree. I just, yeah. Polly said hens. Woman are feral. She uses a very expletive word before feral. Okay, yeah. Feral creatures.

I saw a woman shit on the floor of a bus at a hens do once because the driver told her that the next stop was five minutes away and she said, I ain't waiting. See, that's the problem. She probably ate too. No, she didn't eat, but the booze made whatever was in the system rush out. Hens do's. This is another person who works in the public service.

Okay. Hens do's. It's the squealing for me. It's terrible behaviour at a too higher octave. Wow. Sophia said, men are grotty. Girls just want to have fun. Now, I've never heard a girl at a hens do's say,

girls want to have fun without it being trouble've never heard a girl in a hen's do say, girls want to have fun without it being trouble. Without taking a dump. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. You may have heard of Moustache Milk and Cookie Bar. They are... Big fan. Their social media presence is great.

Great social media presence. Even better cookies. Yeah, they've been around for a while. Are they only in Auckland? I think so. Yeah, they've opened a few more Auckland stores of late. Yes, but they do like pop-ups and stuff and they go crazy. You might have seen them on socials.

They've got lines for these cookies. I saw someone once at the airport leaving Auckland with a whole box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, it's that kind of. Never had one. Oh, that's crazy. I had one once. I love cookies. Yeah, it's been a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So remember Lorde was a big yeah, it's that kind of... Never had one. Oh, that's crazy. I had one once. I love cookies. Yeah, it's been a long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So remember, Lorde was a big fan, eh? Did she post once about... Yes, she was a big fan. Yeah, they were having some Ithias, perhaps landlord-related Ithias. Ages ago, yeah. She was trying to hand them out, yeah. Well, they've got a store in Monaco, in Auckland.

One of their stores. Mustache Milk and Cookie Bar. And they shared on their social media some CCTV footage of someone sneaking it. And when I say sneaking, I mean like, do-do-do-do, like full crouch, like almost

Christmas Grinch crouch crawl into their shop to their countertop where they have on display all of their cookies available, right? In jars, nice sort of aesthetic jars. Yeah. And they sneak up and they steal this jar and they like crawl out like this.

And they don't get caught, right? Right. And they just see this on the thing. They're like, where's the jar? Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Literally. The thing that's... The suspect is furry and blue.

Did I not mention that up top? Anne was like... I don't know if we got it. No, it's just a woman. Just a woman coming in. She steals this jar and she leaves and then so the Moustache

social media team came up online and were like, hey, like, please don't do this. Like, there's jars. I've had them since day one and da-da-da-da.

And also, ha-ha, these are plastic. So it turns out that... What, the cookies? The cookies are not real. Why do they sellda. And also, ha-ha, these are plastic. So it turns out that the cookies are not real. Why do they sell plastic cookies? No, no, no. They display cookies. Display cookies only. Like when you go to the Japanese restaurant

or the sushi, the plastic bento box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like the plastic katsu curry and you're like, let's get to have a good look at it. You have to imagine what that katsu would look like if it was real. If it was fresh and real. Yeah. I love that. You know we go to like a mall look at it. You have to imagine what that katsu would look like if it was real. If it was fresh and real. Yeah. I love that.

You know, we go to like a mall in Bangkok and like every single store has like the little plastic thing. You're like, hell yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. You know, this has spurned me to write an email to my favorite podcast, The Economy of Everyday Things, to see if they've done or will do a episode about who manufactures the display food.

I've seen a video about it, how they do it. A who manufactures the display food. I've seen a video about it, how they do it. A big industry. Yeah, it's huge. But the weird part is if you do it well enough, they won't need you again. Oh, yeah, they won't. You'd have to dust it.

As a Lego enthusiast, you've got to dust your Lego. Or you've got to dust everything in your house. I know, but even if they're in a little glass display case, how does dust get in there but it does? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, she said, oh, by the way, like I hope they tried to eat it.

Oh, because they, so they just display cookies are what, plastic? Yeah, yeah. So that's just to show you what's available, but they've done so well. I think they made more of that of clay. Like a plasticine sort of a situation. So it's so funny to think of this stupid thief who went and been like,

I'm going to have cookies and going for a bite and cracking her teeth on this fake cookie. That's how good their cookies are. That's karma. Yeah. Yeah, that is how good their cookies are is that people want to steal them.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. What's your jobie? What's your jobie? What's your jobie? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? We try to guess your job by asking you three questions. And we've decided we need to be more, I guess... Just have a bit of a game plan?

Strategic with our questions. Because ultimately we want you to have the money. Yeah, $100 if we can correctly guess after three questions. Sarah, good morning. Good morning. Good morning for Sarah, I can hear it. And you sound so happy. You don't have...

She's not back at work yet. Or she doesn't have one of those draining corporate jobs, you know? Don't answer anything, Sarah. We're just fine. We're just chatting. We're just feeling. We're just feeling.

Sarah, question one. Does your workplace have those ceiling panels with holes in them? Oh, my God. What kind of question is that? You know, Sarah. Hang on. Sorry. We're trying to clarify and have a bit of a game plan here.

And you come out with, does your office have the ceiling panel with holes in them? You know the ones you'd sit back in maths class and try to count but you lose count halfway through you get under them and you can just push them up yeah yeah yeah

great question Vaughn in a former role yes but not in my current job wait wait wait so just to clarify if I may sub question

doesn't count as question two form a role at the same company or form a role different job altogether? Same line of work, different company. Yeah, I'm feeling nurse or teacher here,

like going to a different company. No, no, no, no, no, yeah. She said company. And when you're a teacher. You don't call Queen Margaret College the company you work for. Well, you do, because that's a private school

and that is just basically. Thank you for acknowledging my private education. Okay. Turning them out. Okay. Companies. Company. Fre you for acknowledging my private education. Okay. Turning them out. Okay. Company. Company.

Freight. I don't know. It just came to me. Dude, I felt freight as well. Did you feel freight? When she said company and like I was imagining the panels of like an office. Same. Right.

But a big, like a big place. Freight and logistics. Does your line of work involve transportation? No, it doesn't. Are you sure? I don't think you heard the question because I'm feeling fresh. I'm pretty sure she did. I'm pretty sure she did.

Transportation of goods. I'm pretty sure she did. Very cold. Okay. Very cold. Very cold. All right, Fletch, make us hot. It's got to be more About people

Yeah I'm feeling it's more Of a people role Perforated And it's not It's not All we're working with Is that it's not freight

And once upon a time She worked for a company That had perforated Ceiling tiles Yeah wow Awesome Great You've left me

With one question Great that our Off-ear game plan chat Really came through See I feel like She used to be A public servant But she's taken Her public training With one question. Great that our off-ear game plan chat really came through. See, I feel like she used to be a public servant, but she's taken her public training and taken it to the private sector. Oh, you reckon. Okay, right.

Because public servants always work in places with perforated ceiling tiles. Are you feeling like a nurse or teacher? Are you feeling that kind of vibe? No, no. No, you're not. No, not nurse or teacher. Because company. It's because she said company. It's because she said company.

Happy to stand by the use of the word company, Sarah? What? Sorry? Are you happy to stand by the previous use of the word company when you said a previous company? Yeah. Sort of. Oh, for God's sake, Sarah.

Okay. We're all just swimming, aren't we, in the dark? I'm feeling accountant here. I'm feeling accountant. No, because accountant is accountant never dilly-dallies. It's black and white in the world of accountancy. It's money accountant or office. Accountant never dilly-dallies. It's black and white in the world of accountancy. It's money owed

or it's money taken. Yeah, but sometimes accountants work in offices with holes in the tiles. Banking. Banking. Banking.

Okay, shall I ask? Because you know we're the jinx. No, it sounds like she's on her way to work and we all know banks only open on Tuesdays and Thursdays

between 12 and 2. And only in major cities. And you don't get a free pen anymore. Like finance world or something. Yeah, okay, do you work in the finance world? No, I don't. Okay, well now we've got absolutely nothing, Sarah.

And we've got to have a guess. One stab in the dark. We've got to have a guess, guys. Dentistry. Occasionally you see a dentist with a perforated wall. You said that that your dentist had a perforated... Yeah, I said, yeah, yeah. And she said company. Yeah, previouslyists with a perforated rooftop. You said that, that your dentist had a perforated... Yeah, I said, yeah, yeah. And she said company. Yeah. Previously on Sarah.

She worked at Luminor and then now she's... And then she's gone somewhere else. Okay. Sarah, are you a dentist? Be your final guess. Sarah wants the money, guys. She's like, are you... So she's not a dentist because they're flush.

And she's a dentist. No, actually, she might be a dentist. She just might want to stay on the phone a little bit longer because apparently dentists get lonely. Oh, good thing. She just wants our company. Yes, finally. Our company's worth more than $100 to Sarah.

Are you a dentist? No, I am not. I don't think you heard. She's got bad hearing. Are you a dentist? Dentist. What do you do for a job, Sarah? I'm a healthcare professional,

specifically a nuclear medicine technologist. Oh, my God, it was on the tip of my tongue. Oh, what? A nuclear medicine technologist. Wait, wait, wait. That means she's a radiographer. Yes, correct. And I said in the nurse or in that kind of medical field,

and you guys poo-pooed me, didn't you? We did poo of medical field, and you guys poo-pooed me, didn't you? We did poo-poo you. You poo-pooed me. I forgot to take into the private aspect of the healthcare, which is the radiologist. Yeah, I'm sorry, Sarah, but my colleagues poo-pooed me. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen stuck inside somebody, Sarah? You name it.

Anybody name it. You name it. Seriously. Now, is it true that the penis shows up when you do the x-ray? Yes, the shadow flaps. Can't confirm or deny. Well, I've seen my own. And it was a shock to me.

As they were talking about my thigh. I showed the boys my shadow flaps. Sarah, thank you so much for playing What's Your Jobby. We welcome Jessica. Jessica, let's try to get questions more focused. Vaughn, if you could start this time. Question one, have you touched an animal at your job this year so far? Oh, God, no.

Oh, God, no. She's so far removed from animals. It's not early childhood because they would have had an early petting zoo. That's what I was going to say. They would have had a visiting petting zoo That's what I was going to say They would have had a visitor travelling petting zoo to come back Okay, do you wear a uniform as part of your job? No Corporate

We're heading into an office We're in an office God no, there's no animals there Rather than saying uniform, I reckon we say Is there an expected dress code? No, because that could mean anyone in the office just wears a... There's sort of a dress code here. I couldn't turn out with my ta-tas out and a... Oh, you could.

You could, absolutely. I could, actually. You guys have left me with the last question, again, leaving me nothing. I reckon ask her if her ceiling's got holes in it. No, okay. Indoor, outdoor. Do you have a water cooler at your office? Great question.

A filtered tap. A filtered tap have a water cooler at your office great question at your place of work a filtered tap a filtered tap or a water cooler yes we have a water cooler oh like a blub blub blub one a blub blub blub it is a blub blub blub

she's HR blub blub blub she's office she's office god no no animals she's in an office and what did you say she doesn't wear a uniform

yeah and she's got a blub blub blub water cooler we're in her office here though we do have a blue blue blue but anyway no we have a phone no it was very HR to yeah very matter of okay Jessica do you work in HR no so bad at this today. What is your job? I was kind of hoping that you were going to say it again. What was it? I'm an accountant.

I was feeling that. Yeah, I know. You should have said it. Oh, God, no. I should have known because that's what I asked my accountant if drinking is tax-deductible. Yeah, same. And she says, oh, God, no.

Is Botox part of my job? Oh, God, no. One last try. Kay, good morning. Welcome to What's Your Jobby. Good morning. How are you guys? Really good. Really good. Outdoorsy. One last try. Kay, good morning. Welcome to What's Your Jobby. Good morning. How are you guys? Really good.

Really good. Outdoorsy. So outdoorsy. Do you work outside, Kay? No. Oh, okay. Shit, Kay, you should. You should.

You've got a real outdoor energy. You could yell across the... Hey, me! Kay, do you have quite a physical job? No. Well, why would you ask that? Because she's outdoors. Don't work outdoors.

She could be a PT. She sounded like a PT. Yeah, she could be a PT. Five more, five more. Okay, okay. Okay, so she's inside, not in a physical job. We're back in an office. We've got another accountant.

It's probably HR. Does your ceiling have removable tiles with holes in them? Oh, what was it? Sorry? Does the ceiling of your office. No, no, no. Don't worry, Kay. It's the dumbest question you could be asked all day. Does the ceiling of your office have perforated roof tiles? You know, the ones with holes in them that you could take out and replace should one get broken or mouldy?

Yes. God damn it. We got to. We don't. What is it? Um. Um. We don't. What is it? Accountant? Nah. HR. They have nicer ceilings. We said accountant.

HR have nicer ceilings. It's... Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. One guess. It's our office. Okay. K. Sales rep. Freight logistics. Sales rep. Oh, yeah. One guess. It's our office. Okay. Kay.

Sales rep. Freight and logistics. Sales rep. Freight and logistics. Let's go. It's a full circle. Sales. We're circling back.

Kay. Do you work in freight and logistics? No. Useless. We really suck at this. Kay, what do you do? I'm a payroll consultant. A what consultant?

Payroll. Payroll! I thought you said evil, and I was like, oh, what a job. You could be like, yeah, you need to be, you know, more of an arsehole. A payroll consultant. We were getting the office job there. Sorry, Kay. Sorry, Kay.

How do you consult the payroll? Do people come to you and say... No, this is what my best friend does for a living. What do they do? No, but this is a payroll consultant. Yeah. Are you just like, you're paying them too much? Yeah.

Fire them. No, no, no. I wish. Oh, okay. I wish I could change the bank against the mine, you know? Oh, right, right, right. Okay. Well, Kay, thank you for playing What's Your Jobby.

Unfortunately, everybody goes home empty-handed today. It's honestly shocking from us, and I exclusively blame Vaughn. Why? You sickly handedly derailed that. You derailed that. And see how many holes that that's got. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Now yesterday, Hayley,

you were talking about a purge you had of your panty drawer. Yes, indeed. I got rid of all the ones that were awful. Don't say that word. A panty purge, if you will.

It was. And you were left with four respectable pairs. No. I had more than four. That was the average American had four good pairs. I thought you said it was weird because that collated with how many pairs you had. No, no had more than four. That was the average American had four good pears. I thought you said it was weird because that collated with how many pears you had.

No, no, no, no. I got more than that. Eight bags of rubbish knickers. Two big bags of rubbish knickers. And the question in my head was, would I be embarrassed if I got into an accident and the ambulance drivers had to see this? That was the marker. And if the answer was yes to see this. That was the marker. And if the answer was yes, I would be embarrassed into the trash. I believe we

agreed that that is a wonderful way to judge whether or not your underwear needs replacing. Yes, and this is a concern for a lot of people. This is actually something people think about. Which is weird. With women, it's like you've got to wear a matching set. You never know when you're going to get hit by a bus.

Anyway. Well, we have heard to wear a matching set. You never know when you're going to get hit by a bus. You're like, anyway. Well, we have heard from Hatohone St. John about this because they posted on their Instagram, ambulance myth number one. What if I'm not wearing my best pair of undies? Yeah. And they said, we heard with Fletch von Hailey this morning that some of you would absolutely be horrified to call an ambulance

in less than your best undies. In an emergency, you can always give us a call. We promise we don't judge. And I actually personally heard from a couple of people who were like, dude, if you've got undies on, that's a start. Like, we turn up to some really horrendous situations. Speaking to paramedics. A couple of DMs about people being like, that's the least of our concern.

If you've got your best knickers on. I love that because of that, like this has become a thing. I know. It's such a thing, but maybe it's not. So thankfully, Jilly. Hello, Jilly. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Good morning. You're a St. John Critical Care paramedic. Yep. First of all. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. Thank you for everything you do. Beyond grateful for everything you do.

Has the thought ever crossed your mind, oh, how embarrassing, look at that underwear? Never. Jilly, but be honest with us. You're going to be a good representative for your company, but be honest. Are you like, oh, skanky undies?

No. Generally, when we're cutting all your clothes off, we're kind of focused on other things. Yeah, if you're at that point, right. Like not nicking the scrote. Imagine hitting the scrote with the scissors. When you're cutting off the jeans, though, are you looking at the brand and thinking,

God, how much did these cost? Could we peel them down? Sometimes. Really? It would give me nothing. Well, you know, like if people are awake, you're having a conversation with them about it. And, yeah, sometimes, you know,

you try everything to get them off without cutting. Right. But sometimes cutting is the only option. You'd probably be stoked at the return of the dad jean then rather than the skinny jeans. The dad jean and the mum jean. Yeah, yeah. They're so much easier to get off.

Easier to get off. Room for the blame. And I'm sure track pants are easier to get off too. Yeah. Yeah, track pants, you're a bit happier to cut them, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. Surely Fletcher's never had any trouble getting anybody's track pants off. That's all I'm saying.

One fell swoop. That's great. Great track pants. It comes to the underwear, you're never unimpressed or impressed. No. No. I guess strong ambivalence. Yeah.

Yeah, you're just not looking. You're doing the job. You're in the moment. You're doing the job. Usually, like, the pants come off and then a blanket comes up. You're just not looking. I promise we're not judging. Are you sure?

This is like when the wax lady says to me, I'm not really looking at your bits. I'm looking at the hair. And I was like, you'd be having a look. Yeah. Aren't you? Look, Julie, if I was in a horrible accident, and touch wood that never happens, and you had to cut off my clothes, and I was wearing like a lingerie set,

you know, matching top and bottom, wouldn't you be like, go girl? Not nice. No, she's trying to save your like, she's having a good day. She's trying to save your life. If we're cutting your bra off, it's going to be like, in this economy? Like, underwear's expensive. So, you know, we're definitely not judging

and we're not even really looking. We don't even. You've got other stuff, right? I'm imagining if you turn up to one of these situations, there's a hundred things you've got to be aware of. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And you're just trying to... It's always one of those situations, right,

where you're trying to do like five things at once. You're trying not to cut things you don't want to cut, including our own gear and... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, it's just, yeah, it's just not something we'd ever take a look at. And I listened yesterday and I had a laugh and was like, yeah, no, sure.

I still think it's a good question to ask yourself when you're going through your undie drawer. Would I be proud to be seen in these undies to get rid of them? But it's good to know that you're not judging. We actually just had another paramedic text in, Jilly, to say that they had

to cut a wedding dress off once. That's like a five, sometimes $5,000. Yeah, but that's also terrible because this is somebody's most special day

and somehow they've ended up in the back of an ambulance. I imagine it's harrowing. Oh gosh. Well, Jilly, thank you for putting

Hayley's mind at rest and our listeners and thank you for all the amazing's mind at rest and our listeners. And thank you for all the amazing work that you do. Today would be an all right day to get hit by a bus. Just looking at what I'm wearing underneath, it would be an all right day. It would be fine. Yeah, it would be all right.

You know what? I'll go on record. I still don't want to get hit by a bus. Ideally. Yeah. Ideally, that would be great. No bus hitting. Thank you.

Thank you, Jelly. Thank you so much for everything you do. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Okay, it came up in conversation yesterday. We were talking about our teenage years and those rebellious years. And I mentioned... It's because Ross Boss looks like a 17-year-old piece of shit at the moment.

He's come back from holidays with, like, long hair and he's, like, moving around. It's because Ross Boss looks like a 17-year-old piece of shit at the moment. He's come back from holidays with, like, long hair, and he's, like, moving around. It's crazy. I knew Ross when he was a lot younger, and that's what he looked like as a teenager. Yeah, and we said to him, you look like you're on your way to Outward Bound. It looks like you look like the sort of kid

whose parents halfway through this year are going to be like, fine, don't go to school. You're off to Outward Bound. Yeah. Now, when I was a kid, Outward Bound was like, if you don't know what Outward Bound is, it's like they send them out into the bush to go camping. You do a little bit of it on your own.

It's a little bit of survival. It's one step before like military. But it's not always about that. No. Like it could just be adventurous outdoor. Oh yeah, totally. Kids that drive in an outdoor environment and don't do classroom stuff, totally.

But from when I was growing up. They wanted to go. We're talking about the kids that were sent there. And then we're, so we're talking about this, like, oh my God, Outward Bound,

like the kids that got sent to Outward Bound or what was the Spirit of Adventure on the bar and that kind of stuff. I don't always think it was for naughty kids.

No, no, no, no. But it was, we're not talking about that we're talking about kids that didn't have a choice. That needed some. There were the kids that wanted to do it and the kids that No, no, no. But it was, we're not talking about that. Character building. They have a choice. There were the kids that wanted to do it and the kids that, those parents cried multiple times a week. Yes.

And I remembered. And their teachers would say, to be honest, lost cause. Now maybe in a slightly less relatable tale, when I was 14, I think, I was going through a rebellious, gothy kind of odd period of time. Was this when you were a teenage witch? It was. Oh, it was sort of the tail end of teenage witchiness.

Okay. And I was troubled, shall I say. Okay. It came to my parents' attention that I was somewhat troubled. And so my mum, is it the same, whisked me away to Fiji for a week. Now we're talking about going to Outward Bound because you're troubled, you don't know what you want to be. Maybe you've had a rough time.

It was to clear the mind. To live in the bush, do abseiling, really test yourself, probably go solo for a couple of days. You're talking about going to the Marriott. Yeah. It was a Sheraton. It was a Sheraton. I need to apologise.

Don't worry. It was a Sheraton dinner out. It was a Sheraton dinner out need to apologise. Don't worry. And you weren't sent. It was a Sheraton dinner out. You were taken and escorted. Well, I was escorted by my mother, who saw it as an opportunity to clear her mind and get away from the teenage woes. That's the private school version of sending someone to Elwood Bound.

I mean, she sent me to therapy afterwards, but that's not as fun, is it? No. But this is what we wanted to ask today, is where were you sent because you were being maybe rebellious or a bit of a brat? Yeah. Maybe you got sent into the bush like the Outward Bound kids, because I had friends that were like,

oh my god, my parents are making me do Outward Bound. And they came in, they're like, I had a profound experience in the forest. I loved it. I really, and I really have been. What are you wearing there, Michael? And Michael's like, I killed 12 possums and I made a code out of them. You're like, I'm worried now. I don't think we should have sent Michael to Outward Bound.

We've equipped Michael with some serious skills now. Michael knows how to use an off-grid, baby. So it might not have been being sent to somewhere like Outward Bound. Maybe you were sent somewhere else. A grand grandma. Yeah. I knew a few people that were sent to just school, sent to live with their grandparents because their parents just needed your grandma. Yeah. I knew a few people that were sent to just school sent to live with their grandparents

because their parents just needed a break. Yeah. They were a handful. And their grandparents sorted them out. The grandparents were like disciplinarians.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were raised by World War II. Yeah. Or like sent to boarding school. Get out of the house, man. That's right. Yeah. We're just going to send you away.

Make you someone else's problem. Send you off on like what were they? Like an exchange? Yeah. See you four times a year. But like you're lost. We're just going to send you away. Make you someone else's problem. Send you off on like an exchange. Yeah, see you four times a year. Be like, you're lost, you're wandering. Go to Japan for a year, hon. Bye. No, I don't think that's the same. I don't feel like I can piss you out of here.

Okay, so. But maybe. Maybe. Maybe. We want to know if it was because you were being a troublesome little brat. Yeah. Where did your parents send you? 0800-DANCE-IT-EMISON-NUMBER.

Give us a call now. You can text her as well, 9696. We definitely want to know why as well. Yeah. Were you being a little brat? And also kind of like, what happened? Yeah, yeah. Where did your parents send you?

Give us a call. Why were you sent away as a kid, as a teenager? Some great stories coming in. Oh, some really good. A lot of people saying, the only place I was sent was to my room, but don't worry, I was escorted there with a big welt mark on my

ass for my troubles. I love the escorted. I was escorted. I was escorted there. I'm 30, did Outward Bound when I was 16. Majority of people weren't sent there, but you could always tell the kids that were sent there. Adventure and experience, personal development, I'm 30, did Outward Bound when I was 16. Majority of people weren't sent there, but you could always tell the kids that were sent there. Yeah. Adventure and experience, personal development,

I always highly recommended it. Yeah, I think they were really valuable. Oh, totally. But when you were being sent there, you were like, I don't want to go. My parents sent me to Health Cam in Rotorua for being naughty. Fast forward 20 odd years, it just turns out it was their parenting.

They weren't great people. Health Cam? Oh my God. Yeah, somebody said, Fast forward 20-odd years. It just turns out it was their parenting. They weren't great people. House camp. Oh, my God. Yeah. Somebody said, got threatened with boarding school. Pushed it, pushed it, pushed it. Guess who ended up in boarding school? Oh, yeah.

That was an empty threat of the parents of the 80s and 90s. Because my parents could never have afforded to send me to boarding school. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll send you to boarding school. You can't afford it. Yeah, do it. Do it.

With what money, Mum? If we'd had the internet, I could have Googled how. You can't afford it. Yeah, do it. Do it. With what money, mum? If we'd had the internet, I could have Googled how much that would have cost them. Yeah. So yeah, we're taking your calls and texts on where you were sent. Yeah, we'll get to more of those next. Some great messages in. Oh my God, it's so good.

I got threatened with Catholic school, but my parents weren't Catholics. I asked around, turns out you can't get into Catholic school out of zone if you're not Catholic. Yeah, 100%. Empty threat. I love that children are threatened with something

and they're doing their research. Yeah. Rather than being like, do it. They're like, give me 10 minutes. Yeah, but you couldn't do that in the 90s. No, you couldn't. Research was so much harder. You would have had to say,

mother, father, please take me to the public library. Now that would have been out of turn. And then you- You'd be threatened with Catholic school. Encarted 95 on CD-ROM. Yeah. I was sent to work full time at 15 to learn the value of a hard day's work in order to scare me back into paying attention at school.

Joke was on them. Bloody loved it. Never missed a day of work. Now I'm a GM. Oh, that's awesome. So that worked out. So did they go back to school? Hey, guess what?

Your parents kind of won that one. Yeah, they did. You won, but also they won. You won, they won. You won, they won. My brother was sent to St. Paul's, a private school. Was at a public school in Auckland, got sent to St. Paul's, a private school,

because he was mixing with the wrong crowd. But my parents could only afford a couple of years. So then he came back to the same school for the last two years, mixed with the same crowd that was the problem beforehand, but now had access to A-class drugs because of private school. Yeah. My parents used to threaten me with military school and would say that I'd have to get my head shaved

and only eat plain rice. I mean, if you're a girl as well, you'd be like, no. Do they do basmati rice or is it a risotto plain rice? Oh, if they're making a risotto, I mean. Because if I was forced into the lifestyle of the Hare Krishna, I'd probably go, that'd be me. Or shave Peter Reed. Good food. Good food. Good land. Plain rice, bit of dal. Bit of singer. Krishna, I'd probably go, that'd be me. Good food. Good food.

Good land. Pine rice, bit of dal. Bit of singing. Is that what it's called? Dal? Yeah. Yum. I mean, I'd have to snack some meat. Don't get me wrong.

I'd be the naughty Hare Krishna snacking off some bacon. Don't get me wrong there. Yeah. I was being an arsehole, really. Their words. Talking back, giving attitude, just in general being a 15-year-old punk. I got threatened with Easter church camp. Lasted 28 hours before I got caught in the bush

smirching with a boy and they sent me home. One school holidays in the 90s, the four of us kids spent the whole holidays fighting. Mum had enough and told my brother to pack a plastic bag he was getting sent off to live at the Jehovah's Witness Kingdom. We were all screaming, no! One more chance!

Then we got in the car. We got in the car with him and his plastic bag. She dropped him off. She drove off. Then did a U-turn to go and get him. What are the Jehovah's? They're just taking anybody. But at that point he was already halfway down the driveway heading in. He was like, I'm in.

I'm a Jehovah's Witness now. Never saw mum panic so much yelling, come back. Oh my God. Take the plastic bag. Oh my God, that is brilliant. I'm 31 and I did get sent

to Outward Bound at Dad's place for the school holidays. Also, I don't think it was because I was being a dick. It was more because I'm hard to handle

and it turns out I've got ADHD. I'm diagnosed at the time. There would be so many kids growing up. They'd be like, you're so naughty and unruly. You're like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, adult ADHD coming your way.

And I just got bored at mum's. There wasn't enough to do. So I went to dad's and did all sorts of stuff on the farm. Camping, we went possum hunting, just doing everything. And it turns out I just got sent through every holidays because I didn't get bored. Can I make a vote for our Jehovah's Witness text to be the text of the week?

Absolutely. Absolutely. It really made me laugh. I had the visuals and everything because I was one of those kids. One more chance. One more chance. Our text of the week is all thanks to Animates. Animates makes happy happen for pets.

$50 Animates voucher. 118, that's you. 118, we'll reach out and we'll get that to you. Dare I say a spillover podcast? Oh, welcome. Absolutely. Can we do a spillover podcast? Love that.

If you liked this. Little bit of pod today. You can get a little bit of pod on iHeartRadio. After the show. Or anywhere you get your podcasts. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Damn it, there's too many to get through. Okay, there's a great list of the 25 most random, peculiar, bizarre, picky complaints

that people, New Zealanders, have made about New Zealand advertisements in the past 12 months. So ads on telly, ads on YouTube, ads everywhere. And they're really great. The things that make people take such umbrage that they message in. I'm just going to work through some. I just don't have the energy to complain about something. Neither do I. And every time it's on, I'm like,

surely someone's complained about that. I can't remember what it's for. But it's just like, surely someone's had a problem with that. And some gambling ads I see, I'm always just like, I see you, I'm going to be careful there. There was an ad for a peaches and cream, I'm just going to go

through them. Peaches and cream vibr. Okay, there was an ad for a peaches and cream... I'm just going to go through them. Okay. Peaches and cream vibrator. Okay. The complaint was, ad is an extremely poor taste, acting like couples-related issues can be resolved by spending money on a marital aid when couples therapy may be needed

for a variety of issues instead. That sounds like... That's way cheaper than just a buy a him and her pack. There was an ad for Latitude Homes. The complaint said, the advert shows a Kiwi crossing a pedestrian crossing and nearly getting run over. The cars should have stopped and allowed that Kiwi to cross lawfully.

It's a bad example you're showing drivers. Like it's an ad. Who cares? Universal Homes had an ad and the complaint was the advert shows a man picking his nose. Completely inappropriate. I don't want to see that, especially around dinner time. Okay. Like where is your energy coming from?

Okay. Fire and Emergency New Zealand had an ad. The complaint said we were watching The Chase with our family when a very inappropriate ad came on for Fire and Emergency. We're swearing multiple times. Yes, it was beeped out. But very obvious what was implied. Very shocked to see this on TV.

It's beeped out. And also the idea was to get your attention because it's an important message. Yeah. McDonald's had an ad and the complaint said that the steering wheel is being showed held incorrectly. Oh, not at nine. What is it? It should be nine and three

not ten and two. I thought it should be ten and two. I thought it's ten and two. I thought we were half-nining, half-twoing. I thought it's one, I thought it was 12 o'clock and the hand on the gear stick. But who cares in this ad? One of those knobs that you can hold onto to steer the whole wheel. I did wonder when there was a McDonald's ad

about the chip tacks. Where the guy put his hand back for the thing and he had one hand on one side of the wheel. I was like, someone's going to have a problem with that. Maybe that's the one. I've got to find the racist one. Where was that, someone's going to have a problem with that. Maybe that's the one. I've got to find the racist one. Where was that? Oh, it was about... McDonald's.

There was another McDonald's ad. The complaint was the new McDonald's ad presents as racist. The ad in question is the new McSpicy chicken burger. The ad shows pictures of Caucasians sweating. Caucasians do sweat. But the burger is hot. As one, I will swear. I love hot food, but it does make me sweat.

I mean, there's no... It's not factually incorrect. That's not factually incorrect, yeah. The voiceover describes the burger as not suitable for everyone, but it's only Caucasians sweating. My mother, famously Caucasian, once accidentally looked at a butter chicken

and broke into a sweat. What can I do to describe that? A very wet sweat. Avalanche Coffee had an ad, you know, that's their sort of sugar-free sachets. The ad featured a topless Victor Vito. It's disgusting, exploitive, and objectifying sexy rugby players and demeaning to all those who are less well-endowed.

So saying that we've got to see Victor Vito in his abs and we've got to sit here. And his massive wang and we've got to sit here and feel bad about it. They demanded that was removed immediately. I just looked at that and I'm like, good for Victor Vito. Yeah. Victor Vito's not getting abs by drinking Avalanche coffee. No offence. He goes to the gym every day.

Yeah. And he's got that massive wang. It's so good. You can't put that in the gym. What? How do you know about this? Well, the person in the ad said that he was so well endowed it made them feel in superior.

I think they were ending endowed about the abdominals. No, it's muscles. He's not showing his things. No one says endowed about abs. That's not endowed. That's earned. He's endowed downstairs. Wild.

Let's come on board. Okay, Vicks, Vicks like Vaporub. Yeah, the most. Had an ad. Like, how can we complain about this? The ad, hi, hi, says the complaint, hi. I would like to bring to your attention to how inappropriate one of your ads is.

They spell ads A-D-D-S. Someone's going to say that. Specifically advertising Vicks for blocked nose where two teenagers are kissing. My four-year-old stopped in front of the TV to see that, which was showing in the middle of the day on a weekend. She was asking me, what are they doing? When it comes to age-appropriate programs, stick to it.

What nonsense are you allowing kids to see? Now, the ad is literally a pic. These two teenagers go, mwah. They're kissing, and their nose is blocked, and one of them passes out because they can't breathe, obviously, if they're kissing, and their nose is blocked. So they take a Vix, and afterwards they can continue to smooch. But a four-year-old has never seen people smooch.

Sounds to me like mum needs to get it. Yeah. Food Stars Foursquare. Complain. I'm complaining about the ad where the main character is at the head of the table of the feast and he bangs the table and says, you call this a feast?

He is a bully. Like it's a... Oh my God. It's the whole thing is he's supposed to be like a medieval king. Yeah, exactly. Okay, I'll do the last one. It was an ANZ ad. Yeah.

Complaint. My friend's family and I all find the depiction of a man in a dress to be deeply disturbing and offensive. Why are you allowing them to promote mental illness? It's a man in a dress. Wow. Okay. Have you got a picture of a man in a dress?

No, I don't have a picture of that one. I don't know. I'm not familiar with that ad. I was just like, get a hobby. Yeah. For these people who are taking the time. So much time to complain. This sounds like a Caucasian who couldn't eat a spicy burger, I'll say it.

Yeah. Yeah, it does. This sounds like Caucasians who can't eat spicy food. Who's never been kissed. Never been kissed. Never been kissed. And is afraid of a man in a dress. Play ZM's Flesh, Fun and Hayley.

Gen Z, who you were just saying before, there's Gen B now. I think they've just been born, yeah. So Gen Z. Gen A's wrapped up. Gen A is my kids. You'll make sense, right? And then from now on, it's Gen B.

Also, B's a dumb name. It's so dumb, how embarrassing. Yeah. But you also can't call them Gen Beta because, of course, the alpha and beta things are. No, they're called Generation Beta

and that will be anyone born between, so from this year, 2025, to 2039. 2039. 2039. That's the first time. Sorry, that just sent a chill down my spine. Flying cars. Just sort of thinking about 2039.

Yeah, like flying cars. Flying cars. Well, Gen Z are apparently on board with a trend that audiologists are saying we should all have been doing for years. Oh, yeah. Air plugs to concerts and loud venues. Yeah.

Like the club. I think I'm too late. I think I'm done. I think you've got great hearing for. You do listen to your headphones very, very loud. Both of you guys, it's terrible. I'm fresh, remember. I've got fresh ears.

You've been in radio for 20 plus years. But you also grew up with your brother. He loves death metal. He got you into death metal. You've been to death metal concerts. I've been to a lot. A lot of metal concerts. This is how my mum and my brother have tinnitus,

which is the constant unstoppable ringing in your ears. It's to varying degrees in people. They don't have it. Some people have it. You can't escape it. It's all the time. It's inescapable. It drives you crazy. Whereas if they don't think about it, they can get on with their day people have it, like you can't escape it. It's all the time, it's inescapable, drives you crazy.

Whereas if they don't think about it, they can get on with their day. But yeah, my brother's been in bands, heavy metal bands, he's an audio engineer, life in headphones, he's got tinnitus and then my mum got it and she thinks it's from going to all of his concerts. And we used to, I used to just like stand by the, I used to like the feeling of the speaker in my soul. So I'd be like right

there like. My dad found out the other day, he'd be soul. So I'd be like right there. My dad found out the other day he'd be, because he was a tradie. Yeah. He worked with like loud sores and stuff in the 70s before he became a farmer, which is also loud in its own right, where there was no like hey, you better wear earmuffs. No. Or better protect your hearing. So

ACC could be covering like another generation of people getting hearing aids. Yeah, you've got to. Yeah. I don't at concerts. But you do see a lot of people now at concerts wearing them. I don't know. To me, it's a better experience.

Those foamy ones that you roll and plump in. Yeah, and they suck out all the sound. Nah, they block out a lot of it. I reckon you can still hear. And it's easy to talk to people too because, you know, when you're at a concert and you lean in, the first thing I do when I lean into someone in a loud thing is I block my own ear.

Yeah. But Carwen raises a good point with this, because you could hear yourself singing. Yeah. I heard all the warnings about Taylor Swift concerts, about how loud everyone screams, about how loud her system is. And so I bought some for myself and my friend. My friend loved hers.

I could only hear myself singing. Yeah, when you put your fingers in your ears and you sing, all your hair is myself. And you're like, that's awful. And I just can't harmonise with Taylor Swift. Do you know they've got them at, they have them at Les Mills,

the gym we go to. Like for classes and stuff. Because if you're in a big... Those are loud. Those are very loud. A few years back, they installed a, like a meter. I've seen that, yeah. And it's like, it goes red if the... Those are loud. Those are very loud. A few years back, they installed a, like a meter.

I've seen that, yeah. And it's like, it goes red if the music's too loud, so the trainers turn it down, because they used to crank it. People are wearing these in the clubs. That's not sexy, eh? How am I going to hear everyone being like, damn, look at that? Beautiful woman. Depending on the ones that you get, a lot of them,

you can still hear you talking to the other person. So the ones that we got, which were from a local New Zealand company, they... Yeah, but if you're trying to pick up a honey and you've got like a fluoro green fine thing sticking out of it. It's not part of the fit. They don't show. They go right in. They go right in, but also

a lot of them have like jewellery colours, so it almost looks like a helix piercing. So you can get gold and match your earrings, or you can get pinks and stuff like that so you can get really cute ones now I just think it's too late for me because also then our generation, millennial

slightly older we've grown up with the in-ears headphones before they were like, what are they? Earbuds, the earpods that you've got now. They're a little bit more like noise cancelling stuff. But we used to jam things in our ears and crank it as loud as we could

and no air could get in. I reckon that'll be another thing that causes it. Oh, yeah, we screwed. Causes trouble. It's too late. There's a certain amount of things that is too late for our generation. Sunblock. Too late.

The environment. No, it's not. We're in every day. The environment. Too late. Is it too late? We generation. Sunblock. Too late. The environment. No, it's not. We're in every day. The environment. Too late. Is it too late? We did that. Housing.

Too late? For some, yeah, it's too late. Maybe. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We're talking disasters this week. And I got sent a link to, not to this exact story,

but it led me down a little bit of a rabbit's wharren about tornadoes. Okay. Because tornadoes, like the collective cost of the damage caused by tornadoes in America is like right up there with anything. But because they're counted as individual events. Yeah. They don't. But when you accumulate all of the damage caused by tornadoes and the storms around them,

like the hail and stuff, it's right up there. My therapist called me a tornado. I don't think the therapists are supposed to say that. I think they're supposed to say encouraging things. She just was agreeing that that's my energy. She could have put it nicer. I think it's great to be straightforward.

The word whirlwind is a nicer way of saying tornado. I'm not even a therapist. Because tornado to me, you're spinning cows, you're destroying roofs. You might even be a Ford F-150 truck in there that's going to just crash down somewhere. But whirlwind, I imagine you're mostly happening at sea and you're just a fun thing to watch from a distance.

Ah, tornado. I'm excited to hear about these tornadoes though. Well, I'm talking about the world record breaking and current record holder of the world's widest tornado. Ooh, okay. As it hit the ground. Goofy. Now, how do you measure the width

of a tornado? It's anything above 45 miles an hour wind spinning in a circular motion counts as a tornado. So it could be a billion miles an hour in the center, but as long as it goes out and it causes a damage that can be measured, and so they measure between two points, how wide do you think the tornado was as it touched down and made its way across Oklahoma, of course? A hundred miles. Dude, what the hell are you talking about? That's 160

kilometres. How can a tornado possibly be that big? Wow. I was going to say a hundred kilometres. I don't know. Wide of a tornado? I don't know. If you're talking about how big it was, then I'm like a thousand kilometres. No, at the ground where it touched, that's where you measure it from. I know what a tornado looks like. I've googled it.

But I just thought you would have brought it up because it was so big. Bigger than 10 metres. Okay, 100 metres. Bigger than 100 metres. 200. Significantly larger. 500. Way bigger.

5 kilometres. That's getting close to a kilometre. Too far. 3 kilometres. A bit more. 4 kilometres. With a.2 on the end. 4.2 kilometres? Why? Wow. How did you get that? At the ground. I just a.2 on the end. 4.2 kilometres?

Wow, how did you get that? At the ground. That's wide. It was an EF5 twister. Now if you watch the 1995 phenomenal blockbuster Twister starring Callan Hunt and Bill Paxton. No, I'm more of a remake.

You're more of a remake with Glenn Powell. Was it a remake or a follow up? No it was sort of a continuation. Is a twist for another tornado the same? Yeah. Okay.

So is a twisty the same as a tornado? No. Different. Is a twisty the same as a ration? Also no.

Rations are softer I think. And bacon and cheese flavoured versus sort of a cheesy situation. I'd go ration. Yum. Cheese and bacon rations. I think I'd go ration. Yum. Cheese and bacon rations.

I think I'd go ration. Yeah. Rations on three. One, two, three. Rations. Fletch didn't say rations. Fletch, where were you? I wanted to say cheese balls.

I wanted to say cheese balls. No, cheese balls wasn't up for debate. Okay, ration. Rations on three. One, two, three. Rations. Yeah. United we stand.

Okay, bag of rations and an arm and gold. Have you got the perfect amount of cheese on the road? I believe you may have just nailed it. What are we drinking? Coke Zero? Yes! Yes, brother! But I've taken the lid off early,

so a bit of the fizz comes out. Thank God. Because the 600ml is too fizzy. Anyway. Starving for that exact meal right now. I don't know if we'd call that a meal. It's a champion's breakfast! I don't know if we'd call that a meal. It's a champion's breakfast. I don't know if we'd call that a meal.

Is it too early to have a big one? If you're a tradie and you're on a diet, that's your breakfast. Because otherwise it's a couple of big monsters and a huge pine, maybe a sausage roll in the cousin's square. Now, this 4.2 kilometre wide tornado packed winds reaching up to 295 miles an hour. And it was so massive, it wasn't the main reason, but what I was saying about the Helen Hunt movie

is that Category 5 Twister was the biggest one. Twisters have got bigger, and I'm not saying there's climate change, but I'm saying something's unremarkable. Everything points towards this. Everything points towards that. They've had to recategorise Twisters. This was an EF5 Twister,

and it was the second one that touched down within 11 days in Oklahoma. It was 4.2 kilometres wide at its peak at the base. Now, imagine for a moment, do you know how far if you went for a bike ride from your house, do you know approximately how much 4.2 kilometres

is in a semi-straight line from your house? You imagine a twister being that wide at the ground and just carving. Does it have to stop at the traffic lights? A path. Does it wide at the ground and just carving. Does it have to stop at the traffic lights? A path of, nope. Does it stop at the zebra crossing? Much like you on a bike.

It doesn't cross at a traffic light. It ignores the road rules entirely. It does, yeah. And just does whatever the effort wants. It does, okay. Except you can't see its genitals when it stops for a coffee and a muffin at the cafe at the end of it. I don't wear, when I cycle, I don't wear the Lycra shorts or the clip-clop shoes. But he is, I reckon this is the Lycra shorts or the clip-clop shoes I reckon

this is the year days away days away you reckon I'm gonna go full Lycra clip-clop shoes 100 you've got the clip-clop shoes I've got the clip-clop shoes

for spin class yeah okay so if you don't know how it is maybe next time you're driving start the little

trip meter when it gets to 4.2 be like that's how wide it was no one's doing that No one's doing that. No one's doing that. I think someone's doing that. At least one person's going to.

Okay. And if one person does it. If you'd like to waste your day, press reset on the trip meter now. The world's widest tornado touched down in 2013 and was 2.4 kilometres wide. No, 4.2. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, we know Vaughan is our cheeky, lovable boy. Cheeky.

He's done a cheeky move. No, don't pull a cute face. I said, do you know what? I'm actually proud of this move. It's something I do. Are you? You're condoning this behaviour. This might blow your mind if you're a long time listener to the show.

I've got a child studying high school next week. Oh, shit. Dude, I know. How many primes have we heard about that? A couple. When we went to the uniform store, Dad wasn't going to get invited,

which is wild to me. But Dad, of course, No, because you'd be like, why are we buying the expensive uniform? How much? Oh, no, we're getting a secondhand blazer.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, the blazer's like $1,000. No, no, no, not at my, this isn't a private school, Hayley. This is still public. Oh, you're sending them to public? I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

And that was quite... She came out in the uniform and I was a bit like... Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It's happening. Choked her back, choked her back. It's happening. But she also needed a laptop. Yeah, because I saw this in the...

There was a news article, like like the best devices to buy. And I was like, you've got to buy your kid like a laptop or a device now. I didn't have a device. We had the home computer. I didn't have a device until I think I was at uni. Just lying. It's not 1994 anymore, Grandma. Excuse me.

When I was at high school, it was not 1994. Dude, I can remember at school when the computer arrived. Yeah. Everyone gathered around it like, what does it do? Yeah. What does it do? Push the button. Oh, I can remember at school when the computer arrived. Yeah. Everyone gathered around it like, what does it do? Yeah. What does it do? Push a button. Oh, my God.

And then we found the one where you could type in a word and it would say it in some real garbled computer language. We'd be like, put in a swear word. Oh, yeah. Children gather around, put in a swear word. You need to get that voice to say it. And now it just is AI. It does it all itself, doesn't it?

So we had to buy a device. And I was like, well, I'm going to buy one that lasts. And I'm a big Mac boy. I'm an Apple man. Yeah. And they do last. So I was like, I'll buy one that lasts. Bit of an investment.

Yep. Not cheap. Don't steal it because I know where it is. It's got the tracking thing on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know where it is. Don't you just steal it. I'll kick down your door.

I've got some tough mates. Not afraid to punch a kid. I'm not afraid to spare tackle a kid off. If I'm tracking it and I see a zip scooter going past and a rascal driving the zip scooter and that's where the thing is, I'll spare tackle that kid off a scooter. 100%.

Yeah, I don't care. Get that iPad back. I'll get that law back. So I was buying a device, an Apple device, and it said on there and it was like, Apple University Savings. And I was just like, well, she's not going to university. But then I saw how much the savings was.

What are we talking about? And it was heaps. Hundreds. Hundreds. Oh, my God. And if you spent, under the scheme, if you spent a certain amount, you got free AirPods. Yeah.

Which I won't wear. Okay. But she can have them. That's great. I was like, a freebie and a discount? This is madness. Yeah. So I messaged.

Wait, did you, have you given her the AirPods yet? Yeah, because Fletch was sniffing around them. No, because birthday present. Oh no,

this is, the whole thing's a birthday present. Oh, okay. Save it for Christmas. Split gift. Split gift. Right.

Or give it to the other kid as a present. You're not thinking right. Yeah, actually dumb. We're in a cost of living crisis. Split gift. Good thinking not thinking right. Yeah, actually, dumb. We're in a cost of living crisis. Split if. Good thinking. Good thinking.

Okay, we'll just make her forget that those are free. For next time. Yeah. So I messaged Carwen and Shannon saying, who are the youngest members of our team? Yeah. No, no, no. No, no, no.

Say the right words. You said, guys know any uni students? I was getting there. I was trying to make myself sound less of a creep. The youngest members of our team and also have a lot to do with the even younger members of the office. People at work aren't at uni Vaughan. Aren't they? No.

One of them wasn't even born when September 11 happened. Our youngest team member is 21, but you've messaged us uni. Was she out of university? She should be out of university studying to become a doctor or something, not getting into this bloody industry. Or she'd done uni. She's out there.

She's got a bachelor's degree, thank you very much. We all do. Radio. Yeah, we all do. But look, better than acting, okay? I'm on here the first time. But yeah, we're in our mid-20s. And he just messages us.

Yeah, but do you know any university? No. No. I'm in my 20s. That's creepy. So what are university students in my mid-20s? That's not something to be proud of. What did you do, though?

Because this iPad arrived yesterday. With the discount. With the discount. With the discount. Yeah. So you selected the discount. Yeah. No proof.

No proof required. Oh, voyne. Why isn't everybody doing this? Voyne. Because you'll get caught. What are they going to do? Send you to jail? You're going to go to prison, bro.

I reckon it's a New Zealand loophole because we're such a small place. They don't care? They don't care as much because this is a worldwide thing, apparently. Because I remember when I used to get uni discounts, you'd have to upload your ID. I was waiting for the police to provide.

This is BS. The only uni discount I got was free fries like an upsize. Oh God, that made you huge. It did. It really blew him out.

Blew him out. So you've just used a student discount. I mean, do we begrudge the boy? She's technically a student, so.

But that's the thing. You can just say, oh, I saw the word student. Yeah, and I just thought it meant student of everything. Yeah, including life. And that meant student of everything. All students.

Including life. And that's why I want my discount. Smart from you. Okay, so we want to ask. I was waiting and I kept like, first time I did it, I got all the way through to checkout and I was about to press pay and I was just like, is this where it's going to happen? So I Googled like, what do they require? And it was like, it requires a student ID or an email associated

to a recognised tertiary. So this is when you went sniffing for students. And I was like,iary. So this is when you went sniffing for students. And I was like, ugh. So that's when I went sniffing for students. Well, who's it better to ask? Girls who we know or just randomly rock in. Hey, Pixie, now any uni students at all? Get the hoon on your uni ID.

Or just pull up outside uni and just start asking people if you can use their ID. Can I take a photo of your ID? You want to go down to Shadows for a $5 jug? Is that still a thing? I don't know. $5 jugs don't exist. Okay, this is what we want to know. How far,

what have you done for a discount? What have you done to get some money off? Yeah. Wasn't there something, were we just talking about this before about the LA fires? Oh, a podcast I listen to,

Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, his co-host, Sona Mofsesi, and lost her home. Sadly. Terribly lost everything. But it was going around just buying clothes

to get buy-in. Yeah. And on the third store she went into, the person at the cashier overheard her saying that she'd lost her home. She's replacing everything.

And they said, just to let you know, we offer a 20% discount for any victims of the fire. And she's like, can I go back to the other stores and ask if they do it? Which is fair enough. She's lost everything.

Yeah, she is. But maybe, I'm not saying that she played on something, but maybe she just played on something a little hard to get that discount. Yeah, maybe you've used someone else's ID or you've used somebody else to buy something so you could get something cheaper. What have you done to get the discount? Maybe you've used somebody else to buy something so you could get something cheaper. What have you done

to get the discount? Maybe you've used your grandparents or your parents because there's over 65. Oh my god, yes. Can I just borrow your gold card? Great. I mean, it's a bit obvious when you tap onto a bus with a gold card. What about trying to get kids into Rainbow's End

and they're over the age of the kid but you're like, just sort of speak like a baby. Every parent ever has been like, remember you're under 12. No, I'm trying to get kids into Rainbow's End, and they're over the age of the kid, but you're like, just sort of speak like a baby. Oh, I know, 100. Every parent ever has been like, remember, you're under 12. Yeah. No, I'm thinking... No, I'm not. Shut up. Call us now, 0800-DARLS-AT-M, text in 9696.

What did you do to get a discount? We want to know how far you've gone for a discount. Some of these are actually great, and I just think this is a little bit of a hack. Yeah, a bit of some money-saving tips. I use my mum's top 10 camping card. So if she's a member of the top 10 holiday homes, you know, they go holiday spots, and they go around,

and they stay at all the campgrounds, you get a 15% discount on the ferry crossing. Do you? That's a win-win. Oh, that's a good one for Auckland is the Waiheke Ferry, if you know a resident. Oh, is it cheaper? Because they get their own queue.

Yeah, and it's cheaper. How do you prove it? No, you've got to have ideas. You have a little bit of a race card. No, you can't get away with a race card.

You can do a good impersonation. No. Cheaper to the wineries. Darling, I've got to get home ASAP. I'm not off to drink wine. I'm off to go and

feed my husband and my family. Yes, as I do out on the island of Waiheke. We eat Sauvignon Blanc grapes. Primarily.

My friend used to use my name at a certain chain bottle store in a different town because I was the manager of that branch in another town. They don't get

my staff discount. Okay. Please don't use my name. I used to work at Insert Business here. Had a terrible boss. I left. I was supposed to return my staff card but they didn't ask and I didn't return. I'm to work at Insert Business here. Had a terrible boss. I left. I was supposed to return my staff card

but they didn't ask and I didn't return. I'm still using the discount. I get 20 cents off a litre of fuel. Movie half prices. Every three months I get a free ticket and lots of discounts on a whole lot of other things that this massive business is associated with. So good. That's awesome. When my brother was at uni he ended up cutting his own

stamp that matched the curry shops one. He would buy a curry to get the card and then punch out the next nine slots with his custom stamp and get a free curry. I couldn't do that to the curry shop. They ended up banning him. They ended up banning him, but not before he managed

to get about a free curry a week for almost a year. He's a cheeky, cheeky rascal. You can't get away with that. You go into a little family-owned business or something, they're going to know you haven't been in nine other times. Yeah. Like, come on. Emma, what did you do to get a discount?

We snuck our kid into the Gold Coast. The entire state of Queensland or the theme park? The SeaWorld theme park. So how did you do it? So we had two young kids at the time, and I'm bouncing buggy. The ones, we, you know, kids in front and ones in the back. Yep.

Snuck, you mean smuggled. You'd be smuggled. You're a human trafficker at this stage. The only difference between you and the cartel is you're getting into SeaWorld and I'm getting into America. Well, they kind of just assumed that there was only one kid because they couldn't see the kid in the back. And you didn't speak up.

I wonder if that would work when we go to the Gold Coast, Hayley. 100%, you just get in the buggy. I could carry you in a baby Bjorn. Yes, strap him on the front. I love that. He's just a baby. Emma, thank you. Keep your texts coming in, 9696.

Hello. We're talking about how you got a discount. I didn't even really need to try. I prepped myself. Yeah. And then didn't need to try to get a student discount because I'm so useful. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you could be one of those adult students that's just on as like eighth, half degree. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude. My name is the same as my dad's. So when I traveled overseas years ago with mates to do a name is the same as my dad's. So when I travelled overseas years ago with mates to do a contiki,

I borrowed my dad's karu club card. And since the name on the card matched the name on my boarding pass, I got into the airport lounges. That's a good idea. Because I suppose if your ticket went off, you'd be like, I don't know, what's happening? It's just the name. They don't ask for any ID. Yeah, and if you put in their number,

then it's the same name, but it wouldn't be the same birth year. It wouldn't match your passport, but it wouldn't matter. You just be like, something's wrong. It's crazy. I've registered my dog at a doggy daycare under my in-law's name, and I say it's their dog that I drop off for them because they're pensioners. The pensioner discount for dogs is outrageous.

Yeah, but I don't know. I feel bad when it's small businesses. When it's a big corporate, who cares? Yeah, yeah. You know, like, what have you got?

Yeah. I got my dad to buy a kid's disco machine at a big electronics outlet because he had a gold card. He got some slightly odd looks as a 70-year-old

man buying a kid's party item. He's a granddad. He's a granddad. He's a granddad. Borrowed a gold card parking permit to get free parking from 8 a.m. to 12. Person's now dead. And the card has a permanent position on my card.

No. I know people that have done that with the... Oh, you should have. Not with those. No, not with those. Yeah, they expire, though. Yeah. You've got to keep going for those.

My dad wanted Microsoft PowerPoint for his home PC when I was a student in the 90s, so he took me into the shop to buy the student edition for me and he kept it and he used it. You know what would make that better? If he was still using it. Yep. He's using PowerPoint from the 1990s

and he just doesn't see the need to upgrade it whatsoever. It's all got the same features. My dad was a paramedic for 40 years. They used to get free meals at McDonald's. We'd rock up with five of us and place an order just for him, inclusive of five large drinks and a happy meal. Took the piss, but he was out there saving lives on the daily, so. Yep.

Yep. I'll let it go. My husband wouldn't let me use his gold card. Oh, okay. Just as someone who was married to someone over 65. Oh, God. Wouldn't let them use his gold card. Just help me make the decision that he was not the right guy for me.

And that is why he's now my ex-husband. When I was six, we went to Kelly Tarleton's and my dad was buying tickets and told them I was five. I heard and I yelled out, I am not five. I am six. This has happened a thousand times to parents everywhere. Like, shut up. You've got to pre-warn your kids. No, you're not, darling.

You're so young and dumb, you don't even know anything. The number, illiterate. I have diabetes. When I first started using a pump two years ago, you could connect it to a continuous glucose monitor, but you had to pay for it. 400 a month. Sorry, side note.

I feel like you shouldn't be paying for that. If you are new to the glucose monitoring system, though, you've got a 50% discount. So I signed one up at my address, my husband's address, my neighbour's address, my mother-in-law's. So $1,000. See, this is what people do for like the food delivery places. You know, they're so keen, the Hello Freshers,

they're my food bags. They're so keen to get new people in. All you need is an email address to get another free one. Yeah. So people will just set up a continual flow of new email addresses. So they're like toddler. Plenty of those free one. Yeah. So people will just set up a continual flow of new email addresses. So they're like toddler. Plenty of those. Yeah.

Yeah. My dad has a trade account at various places. When I go in, there's 20% off. I get another 30% off and I just pretend I'm him. You've got a trade account, but you won't let me buy plants on it. Because. I've got a trade account too. You can buy plants on it if you want.

You simply must earn the trade account. You can use mine. I can be a trader. My problem is they know me there, so you'll be like... And they'll be like, you're not born. People do get us confused

because apparently we sound the same after 20 years we've been here. Yeah, they don't know. We don't pay for our baby to stay at motels. We just sneak her in. No one knows. We're heading away. This is the third time we've done it.

She's two now. She's two now. You're not getting a free extra room. No. It's like a baby. It just goes on the floor, I'm guessing. Yeah, in a drawer or in the shower. Or it sort of makes its own bed out of the pile of wet towels

that you just throw on the floor. It's a two-year-old. It should be happy. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it.

So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work.